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watsittoyah · 1 year

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Mix tape (NATE JACOBS X BLK FEM READER)

In which Nate Jacob makes you mix tapes because his toxic ass can’t tell you how he feels…

(Track 01) In my city I'm a young god. That pussy kill be so vicious. My god white, he in my pocket. He get me redder than the devil 'til I go nauseous… -Often, The Weeknd

Warnings- oral sex (female Receiving)

(Next)

You were a straight A student. You didn’t step out of line, hell you didn’t even sneak out to meet boys. But that’s all about to change…

~~~

“What? Little Jade about to step on the field with the big girls?!” Your best friend and infamous influence, Stacey squeals as you two stretch out on the field.

“Shh! Don’t be so dang loud. I’m only trying it out because Tess said it would be fun.” You tell her. “First of all the word is Damn, and second since when you listen to Tess’ stuck up ass?”

Your eyes widen as you look back to make sure Tess, your step sister, didn’t hear her. “Shh! Why are you so loud?” You both laugh and Stacey lean in so no one else can hear.

“Since you’re all big poppin’ how about you come out tonight? I heard McKay’s fine ass is throwing a Halloween party and his parents aren’t even home. You gotta come with me, I want him to see me in my maid costume but I need my best friend there with me to hype me up. So you coming?”

Here you we go.

On the angelic side, you’d decline the offer. Grab a pizza with your family and pass out candy to a few trick or treaters while you watch some boring show on Netflix. And you’d hear about the Halloween party of the century the next day.

On the hot girl side you’d say fuck it, let’s go. And you’d have a ball, smoke some weed, shit you might actually get a guy to touch you, and not act like a priss miss.

So what’s it gonna be, Jade?

You snap out of your inner monologue and raise a brow. “What time is the party?” Stacey bursts out laughing. “Girl I know you’re not serious. I was just playing with you. I’m sure I can ask Monica to go with me.”

You frown at her and pull your braids up into a ponytail. “I’m not playing. What time is the party?” The smile on your best friends face melts away. “Jade, if you’re serious, then it’s happening tonight around ten. Please tell me you have a costume to wear? And don’t you come to this party wearing your first Sunday clothes.” You roll your eyes. “Girl shut up, I have a cute costume.” Stacey rolls her eyes at you. “Yeah I’ll be the judge of that, I’m coming over to your place an hour before then. And don’t even try to cop out last minute.”

“I am not going to cop out last minute. Damn.”

~~~

There is no way in hell you can go to this party? What were you thinking?

You were pacing your bedroom, on the verge of hyperventilating.

“I can’t do this. I just can’t.” You hear knocking and without even thinking you open your door and Stacey was standing there wearing a form fitted maid costume that cut down low to show her tits. “What’s wrong?” She asks while walking into your bedroom.

“I must be out of my mind, that’s what’s wrong. I can’t go. I don’t have anything to wear, plus what if the police are called? What if they find out I was at that party and that goes on my permanent record? What if they tell me I can’t get into a good college? I’ll be some bum on the street scraping up pennies off of the sidewalk!”

Stacey shakes you by your shoulders. “Jade! Chill! We’re going to a party not some drug run. Now let me see your costume. And before you say anything you’re going to this party.”

You pout and grab the little box you had stashed in the back of your closet. You pass it over to her and she opens the box.

“Where have you been hiding this? And can I borrow it?” You snatch the box back, putting it on your bed.

“It’s been in my closet since last summer. I bought it just in case for times like these but now I don’t think I can pull it off.”

“Go put it on.” Stacey tells you. You open your mouth to argue but she points to your bathroom and you take the box then march your crack to the bathroom.

Once the dress is on your peek out of the bathroom. “Jade, we got ten minutes before the party starts. And I’m all for being fashionably late but my future baby daddy is hosting this thing. Come on now.”

You step out of the bathroom and you’re tugging at the hem of the dress. It was a tight red dress that came mid thigh. It might have been longer if you didn’t have hips and ass on you.

“You look good! Now I know you still have those red thigh highs, because I haven’t took them for my closet yet.” Stacey goes into your closet and you take a deep breathe. Dressing up as a she-devil wasn’t your first pick but the costume was a laugh at the moment and it was on sale last year.

You tug at the dress and Stacey tsks. “Don’t you have a thong? I can see your granny panties.” Your eyes widen. “No, I don’t own a pair.” Stacey circles you and grins.

~~~

You feel uncomfortable not wearing underwear under the dress but Stacey tells you that it’s fine. But you’re nervous. This isn’t something you’d do. When Stacey is about to open the door you grab her arm. “What if I can’t do this?”

“And what if you can? Look, you look fucking amazing. Let loose for a change. If you could be anyone right now who would you be? Don’t tell me just take a deep breathe and be them. Alright?”

You nod and you take a deep breathe and you think about all those girls you’ve seen in those teen movies you’ve watched with Tess. You roll your shoulders back and Stacey opens the door. You’re hit with the smell of weed, bodies, and alcohol. Stacey takes your hand and you two enter together.

“McKay is over by the corner, and I see Cassie trying to get her hands on him. But watch this.” Stacey says in your ear as she guides you two over to them.

Remember me by Wiz Khalifa was playing and you see McKay glancing at Stacey. He then looks your way and your stomach was doing summersaults.

You won’t admit it to Stacey but Christopher McKay was fine as hell to you. But since she was your best friend you took the step back.

He gives Cassie a nod and he leans off of the wall and heads towards the two of you. “Hello ladies.” He greets as he yells a bit over the music. “Hey McKay.” Stacey says in her best sex voice. You turn your face a bit to keep from laughing and you see the punch bowl. “Is there water?” You turn back to ask and see Stacey pulling McKay towards the crowd.

“So much for sticking together.” You mumble as you move towards the kitchen. You see a few freshman dressed as gorillas doing body shots off of two junior girls dressed as bananas. You gently chuckle at that as you grab a small bottle of water, inspecting it.

Once you’ve seen it hasn’t been tampered with you crack it open and take a few gulps. Someone passes you a blunt but you pass and find some cheese puffs. You go to reach for some and your hand brushes against someone.

And that someone happened to be Nate Jacobs.

You knew Nate because he was your friend, at least until he found the gym and became a jock. After that, you both drifted apart and you moved to the upper east side of town.

Nate still had a special place in your heart seeing that the both of you looked out for each other when bad times had hit both of your families. Especially when that shit went down with his br-

“Jade Springfield?” He asks as he squints at you. “Nate Jacobs?” You mimic him and he gives a big smile which makes your heart leap. “How have you been?” He pulls you into a hug and you hold him close. For just that split second it felt like old times again.

“I’ve been good. Damn Jacobs you got tall.” You say to him with a smile. “And you stayed short.” He teases. You punch him playfully in the stomach and he laughs.

“Anyways, how have you been?” You ask him as he keeps his hands wrapped around you. “I’ve been good. Better now that I know you’re here.” The last part of his answer made your spine tingle a bit.

You clear your throat and step back from his touch. “Hey you wanna go outside? It’s kind of-”

“Loud? Yeah let’s go.” He takes your hand and you two head out to the back. As soon as you two step outside the music just stops and you allow yourself to relax. You two were on the back deck, you sit down on the steps and Nate sits down besides you.

“You still don’t like loud places huh?” Nate asks you. “You remember that?” You ask as you empty the water bottle. “Of course, I mean it’s been what almost four and a half years? But yeah, I remember.” He smirks at a thought and he takes a swig of beer. “That better be root beer, Nate.” You tease, bumping your leg against his. He rolls his eyes but smiles when he’s done drinking.

“Of course its root beer, Jade. Because that’s what teens drink of parties like this.” It was your turn to roll your eyes. “Smart ass. So I heard through the grapevine that you’re playing football.”

“I am, and I heard through the same grapevine that you’re cheerleading. When are you gonna come cheer for me?” He says in a flirtatious tone. “Alright that ‘root beer’ getting you talking reckless Jacobs.”

You notice he’s leaning in a bit closer. And you cross your legs. “You remember that one time in the fourth grade when Jason Bateman dared you to kiss me?”

“Oh god, yes and you punched me in the jaw. Your little first hurt.” You two laugh at the memory and you lean your head on his shoulder. “I missed this, Nate-Nate.” He scoffs. “Shit I haven’t heard that nickname in a long time, Jay-Jay.” You smile at your childhood nickname.

“Why did you have to become some jerk who forgot about me?” You ask him as he hands you the rest of his beer. You accept it and down the rest, wincing from the bad taste.

“I could never forget about you, Jade. Actually if I’m being honest when we were kids I had the hugest crush on you.” You lean away from him and turn so you’re facing him. “You’re lying.”

He raises his hands and laughs. “I’m not lying. I took that dare from Jason because I didn’t want anyone else kissing you. As far as I knew you were going to be my girlfriend in the fourth grade.”

The way Nate was eyeing your legs made your inner thighs throb. “I heard…you’re dating Maddie Perez.” You say instantly regretting that.

He sighs and you notice his jaw clenching. “She dumped me last week, so…yeah.” Way to go Jade, you tell yourself.

“Sorry, I didn’t know.” He nods. “No one knows that she dumped me. I just told everyone that we’re taking a break.”

“Why would you tell me then?” Nate shrugs and scoots in close to you. “Because I can trust you, not to tell anyone. And because out of everyone in this fucked up town, I actually like you. And I’m sorry I just stopped being friends with you. I was going through a lot and your parents were going through that divorce. Which isn’t an excuse, but-”

You lean in and hug him. “I know when you ramble you like that, underneath it means you need a hug. You know my number hasn’t changed. If you need someone to talk to I’m here.” He hugs you back and he inhales deep. “How has it been a few years and you still understand me better than anyone?” He asks. You lean back and shrug.

“We just have that connection, Nate-Nate.” You smile at him and he brings his hands to your hips.

The warmth from his hands made your chilly body feel good. And his cologne was making a small puddle between your legs.

Calm down Jade. This is Nate you’re thinking about. The same Nate that you would play with on the playground. The same Nate that you knew before the muscles.

The same muscles that you were sure you wouldn’t mind looking at under his criminal costume.

“A she-devil, hm? Seems like the perfect costume for you, Jade. I especially like these thigh high boots on you.” His hand seems to trail from your knee all the way up to your inner thigh. You bite your bottom lip and look pass his shoulder but he shakes his head.

“No, baby focus. I want those pretty eyes on me.” His hand reaches under your dress and he sucks in a sharp breathe. “You’re not even wearing panties?” You jerk your legs closed and move back.

“I’m sorry! I’ll go.” You were about to get up but Nate stops you. “You don’t need to apologize. I was just surprised is all, I didn’t except a snack ready for me to eat.” Nate eyes between your thighs this time and when he looks back up you find yourself leaning in.

He leans in close as well. Both of your lips meet and you feel yourself move, straddling him. He places his hands on your hips and he presses his erection against your cunt. You let out a moan and he bites your bottom lip. “Do you feel that?” You nod as he presses it harder against you. “I want this inside of you, right now. But only if that’s okay with you, Jay-Jay.” His hand travels up your neck and he brings your mouth close to his. “Use those words, pretty girl.”

“I want you inside of me, Nate.” You mouth as you kiss him again. He grunts as his tongue slides past your lips. He tastes like cheap beer, and some strong mint he probably ate before he got to the party.

He stands up with your legs wrapped around him. And he walks off of the deck. “Mm, where. Are, we going?” You ask moaning against his lips. “Just to my truck.” He answers as he kisses your neck.

When he gets to his truck his presses the key and the door unlocks. He places you inside and climbs in after you. “Get in the back, Jay-Jay.” Nate says to you as he takes off the top half of his costume.

You do as you’re told and he follows after you. He gets on top of you and he looks down at you. “Never thought I would have Jade Springfield in my truck.” He says with a smirk.

“Oh shut up, Nate.” You laugh but Nate wasn’t. Instead he gets down on his knees, spreading your legs apart and placing them on his shoulders.

“Don’t look away, I want your eyes on me.” He says as he leans down and flicks his tongue across your clit. Your legs jerk a bit which makes Nate smirk.

“Does my tongue scare you, Jay-Jay?”

“No.” You lie as he spreads your lips apart. “I think you’re lying. I think my tongue scares you and you like that.” He flicks his tongue across your clit slowly and your breathes hitches.

You move your hips to the rhythm of his tongue and you moan out while your nails scratch at his seat. You watch as his eyes flutter closed and the grabs you and pulls you closer.

“Oh shit, Nate don’t stop.” Your hands find their way to his hair and you grip his hair as you work your hips harder. He sucks your clit and your legs clench.

He continues to flick his tongue against your clit but he slides in two fingers, doing the here motion which causes you to moan out in tongues as he massages that sweet spot.

“N…Nate you’re gonna make me cum.” You whimper. He just keeps eating you out like your his last meal on earth. You feel your eyes rolling to the back of your skull with your back arching. Without warning you squirt in his mouth and on his seats.

You try to close your legs because it’s sensitive but he keeps going. “N-Nate it’s se-sensitive please.” He looks up at you and he twirls his tongue which makes you stutter out gibberish.

“Sure you’re not scared of my tongue, Jade?” He rolls his tongue and you feel your orgasm hit again. “Y, yes I’m scared. I can’t h..handle i- I’m coming.” You moan out as your hips move to your orgasm.

He gives one more good suck to your pussy lips and he leans up, kissing you so you can taste yourself on his tongue. “I could eat your pussy for hours, Jay-Jay. But I’ll do that next time. Right now I know you want this.”

He places your hand on his crotch and your eyes go wide. There no way that is fitting inside of you. Nate sees the fear in your eyes and he leans down kissing your neck. “I know it’s big, but I’ll be gentle. I won’t hurt you. I’d never hurt you.” He sucks the side of your neck and you moan his name out softly.

You feel him move you back against his seat. And you hear his zipper unzip. You can’t see what his dick looks like in the dark but from the feel of it you know it’s bigger than the toys you use.

You hear something rip and in the street light you see it’s a condom wrapper. He moves himself closer to you and you know it’s going to hurt since he is your first but you both freeze when you hear a cop siren in the distance.

Nate moves back and you sit up to see the lights of a few cop cars.

Suddenly everyone runs out of McKay’s house and you two scramble to get decent. “I can take you home.” Nate tells you, but you shake your head.

“I’m not leaving, Stacey behind. Let me out real quick.” He opens the door and you climb out of his truck, looking through the crowd for Stacey.

You feel your phone vibrate and you answer it. “Where are you?” You hear Stacey ask in a panic. “I’m outside, where are you? I’ll find you.” You hear Nate say something but you take off running where you see Stacey’s car.

When you get in she was panicking. “Girl, apparently someone’s ex girlfriend called a noise complaint and got the party shut down…” As Stacey gives you the details you get a text from an unknown number.

Unknown-

Hey, it’s Nate. Maybe we can pick up where we left off. Not just tonight but from back then? 🙂

You feel a small smile on your lips and you go to answer but Stacey says something that makes you reconsider.

“..McKay says he thinks it was Maddie who called, since she heard that Nate was here..”

You feel the guilt in your heart and you give a wow that’s crazy for your comment and lean your head against the window.

Maybe meeting up with Nate tonight was a bad thing.

Boy was it ever…

#watsittoyah #nate jacobs #nate jacobs smut #nate jacobs x reader #Nate Jacobs x black reader #euphoria #Jade Springfield #mix tape x euphoria #euphoria smut #jacob elordi #jacob elordi smut

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trentcrimmisgay · 14 days

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i ran out of screenshots so i will now be using my own text messages w ted posts (i miss them). this one is all about loooove baby. romcommunism !!!(part six. more posts)

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leverage-ot3 · 4 months

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OKAY so I have two ideas about a leverage x pjo crossover and they hinge on whether or not the leverage crew are demigods are not. I also have a general one which is what this post is

leverage demigod/pjo au masterpost

I’m betting some (or all) of the leverage crew have complicated feelings about the demigod-godly parent relations. they hear through the grapevine that this 12yo has been accused of stealing zeus’ master bolt and that his mom has been kidnapped by hades and they’re like ABSOLUTELY NOT FUCK YOU

cue hijinks where the leverage crew is behind the scenes while annabeth, grover and percy are on the quest having the road trip from hell. except it’s not actually that bad??? whenever things look like they’re going to get REALLY bad something happens and the kids aren’t in a lot of danger anymore. annabeth is almost annoyed because she wants to prove her worth etc etc (love her dearly but she needs some rest (and therapy)), grover is overwhelmingly relieved, and percy is just hella confused but vibing and set on seeing his mom again

meanwhile eliot is fist fighting a minotaur and like five other monsters, sophie is seducing medusa (and it’s kind of working??? can’t blame her though sophie is a MILF), parker is planning a heist in the underworld, hardison is dusting off a pet project that’s a gadget that cloaks demigods from monster detection (good for everyone but perfect for percy), and nate is masterminding while also furiously planning a beat down speech for the big three

it’s possibility titled: the master bolt job

nate says let’s go steal a stolen master bolt or something like that

(parker: isn’t that defying the gods?

nate: we’re giving it back)

the journey ends with percy’s mom back safe and sound, nate yelling at the gods (but not before letting percy tear them a new one first. of course he lets the kid go first!!!), a new godly child support system, and camp half blood employing their first on-site therapist.

hardison teaches the hephaestus kids how to make tech that doesn’t attract monsters. eliot cooks the best dinner the camp has ever had (hestia who adores him maybe helped), the hermes kids are awed by parker (thee parker?!?). sophie instills the fear of god (woman) into mr d to treat the kids better and gives the oracle a spa day as a treat. nate helps chiron with training-life management for campers (he is NOT a role model for that but he knows what works. chiron is chuffed that this random dude is giving him advice but rolls with it because he’s a good sport)

aphrodite is enamored with the love parker, hardison and eliot have for each other. they don’t know it but she gave them her blessing 💖

#I feel like nate ‘fuck authority’ ford especially would have some sort of jaded view on godly parents and using their children as pawns #but that thought isn’t fully formulated so I’ll leave it there #leverage x pjo #leverage #percy jackson and the olympians #aus #leverage aus #parker #alec hardison #eliot spencer #nate ford #sophie devereaux #percy jackson #annabeth chase #grover underwood #also see how I referenced the isn’t that treason quote hehe I just love that one :3 #mine #parker x hardison x eliot #leverage ot3

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vole-mon-amour · 1 year

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3x10, a mix of everything, part 1

didn't expect it to happen that fast but HELL YEAH. there's nothing for Nathan to do next to Rupert. Rupert keeps switching his lovers like socks while his wife is still at home with their daughter. come on!! villain arc for Bex and Rebecca when? when is Rupert gonna get killed die and leave Bex all the money??? and then Bex and Rebecca become best friends and raise a daughter together?

Trent being the heart of the team? do you remember how it all started and how wary everyone was of him? do you? it warms my heart, but it warms it twice bc of the clear bond we see between Colin and Trent. like, older queer with younger queer, helping each other out and bonding. their friendship does things to me tbh. it's so very important and intimate and—

in other words, representation matters.

yaaay! also, Trent <3333 again, this warms my heart.

sometimes I really have no idea what this season is doing. i miss them being a dramedy, not a full on sitcom. i'm enjoying this season, but sometimes it's borderline too much. it's out of nowhere and it's not necessary at all.

besties unlocked <3 Trent is such a sunshine, I love him. the way he and Ted share a raised eyebrows look. there is something so wonderful happening between Ted and Trent from the moment they met. it's like they're connected and are being drawn to each other.

girl talk, especially when it involves middle aged men <3 Rebecca as their leader is really something. i love it.

I think Rebecca is being mean to the actual devil. also, why do iphone users love their matte screen cover? why not the regular one?

Trent is so in love with Ted, my goodness. that cute smile. Ted is so freaking oblivious, I need the show to do something about it. i need Ted to learn Trent is in love with him.

this is such a nice shot. something something, the idea of press taking pics of Nate's gf leaving. which at first I thought was kind of nice, but then she leaves with a suitcase and it looks like a breakup of some sort, so not that nice. hm. still, the shot is pretty.

this is such a nice look & I like her hair a lot, but my GOD, how do people wear those minies? it's beyond good and evil for me. shorts i can kinda understand, but skirts? that's... yeah, no.

there you go Jack's "me and Keeley are dating" without asking Keeley first if she wants to announce it and then Jack totally ghosting Keeley. *frustrated high pitched growl* I hate that plotline. if it's their way to push Keeley back towards Roy bc she will no longer be that busy so Roy can't come up with that excuse again, that's a very shitty thing to do. so far I don't see the bigger picture of this. they've been messing up Keeley's storyline this season just like that.

"the board" oh, fuck you, Jack. (in Grace Le Domas' voice) fucking rich people.

Dani crushing Van Damme's chips is such a dick move, ESPECIALLY since you're trashing the airplane!! you're not the one who's gonna have to clean it up, you asshole.

can somebody connect this parallel for me pls? it's just within my reach but it slips away.

sooo, Beard isn't getting out of a toxic relationship? gotta say, this plotline concerns me. idk where they're going with it and WHY in the first place. Beard deserves better & Jane needs some serious therapy.

#fired immediately

I'm here for Rebecca standing up for herself against Rupert. I hate that asshole so much.

I don't remember, have we seen Roy's sister before? it's so rare.

go fuck yourself. yes, i'm quick to jump to conclusions and violence.

Leslie is NOT having a good tea time this season. let him enjoy his tea 2k23! however, the fact that he knows every friend Rebecca has. some friendship between him and Rebecca developed along the way since s1.

#natiswatching #ted lasso #colin hughes #trent crimm #rebecca welton #jamie tartt #ted x trent #nate x jade #keeley x jack #coach beard #roy x keeley #roy kent

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chainofclovers · 1 year

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Ted Lasso 3x8 Thoughts

I’ve written all of these after seeing the episode only one time but I think this one might benefit from a rewatch more than anything else. Even if, unfortunately, this was absolutely my least favorite episode of this stupid wonderful show. (Or was it? What will a rewatch reveal to me?)

I have tried very hard not to have a lot of fun-time-ruining expectations about this Media Experience that has bewitched me since January fucking 2021. But I’ll admit that I had some serious expectations about the writing of this episode. Keeley Hazell and Dylan Marron! I was so excited to see what the ultimate Keeley Jones expert, the Keeley inspiration, the namesake herself, would have to say about this character. And actually, I thought Juno Temple got some really incredible material to work with, and I think she acted the living fuck out of this episode. I came away with a deeper understanding of Keeley’s character. A sense of who she is when she wakes up in bed next to someone who delights her. A sense of how it feels when someone she loves deeply disappoints and hurts her, and how it feels when someone she could have loved chooses a status over a human, and how it feels when someone she used to love holds himself accountable to her.

There was so much about this episode that felt incredibly natural:

everything about Juno’s performance

the ways Jack is charming and tantalizing and expansive and the ways she’s small and cowardly and disappointing were perfect…wlw rep doesn’t happen in a vacuum of purity, this is wlw rep but this is also billionaire asshole rep this is venture capitalism rep this is richer-than-Rebecca-Welton rep this is manipulator rep

the perfect moment when Jade tells Nate to celebrate his victories after a lifetime of hearing his father shame him for taking pride in his successes

the anti-chemistry chemistry of Ted and Michelle and their long history

absolutely everything about Rebecca as lifeline and sense-talker for Ted (and soulmate…I’m so tired, but it just remains true that they’re fucking soulmates, and I hope they find out and I’m still pretty sure they will)

Beard in an apron making pancakes for his boys

Rebecca holding Keeley and telling her a possibly slightly exaggerated story about her introduction to masturbation to cheer up her beloved bestie

the utter pain of Roy being once again a very good person who has fucked up badly in a parking lot (this time with consequences)

Ted’s sweet little voices as he reads to Henry (and the WTF moment he has about himself after Henry has fallen asleep)

Last night my wife and I went out for a beer and broke down a bunch of these moments and how good they actually were, and how strange it was to have, honestly, a wealth of beautifully written and acted moments in an episode that really didn’t work for us. Because those highs made the lows seem so much lower.

The locker room scene…I’ve watched anti-harassment and standards-of-business videos for my corporate job that are better than whatever that was. I understand what they were trying to do. And I understand that this is a story that has so much real-life crossover and is so incredibly important to get right and was probably so complicated and often painful to write that I feel very empathetic about the ways that all that pressure might have conspired to make this episode worse instead of better. I have no interest in judging those conditions, nor do I think it’s some big hilarious gotcha that this writer (well, writers) wrote about this topic. But I do have to judge the final product, which reads like a group of people taking turns saying things like “This is a bad thing in our society” and “Is it so bad?” and “Yes, fellow man, it really is that bad” and “But wait, why should I have any responsibility for this bad thing in our society?” and “Well, here is why you actually do have some responsibility for this bad thing in our society.”

Even the Keeley-Rebecca scene wavers in and out, whereas normally a scene with those two is rock solid. They spend a lot of time explaining the societal conditions to each other instead of relying on the shorthand that two best friends would use to communicate. I mean, thank God Rebecca was totally with Keeley on this one—if she hadn’t been, that would’ve warranted something on the spectrum of lecture—but because she was, their exchange of lines about sexualization just had me feeling like I am watching a TV show about a very special issue, I am watching a TV show about a very special issue.

Just as I’m not looking to Jack Danvers to convince a homophobe why bi people are cool (she could be the coolest most respectful gal in the world and she’s not gonna convince a bigot that queer people actually are great!), I desperately wish they’d taken a less heavy hand with this stuff. Keeley’s pain—her vehement lack of embarrassment, her disappointment—says it all.

And I am so sorry to say that I feel like Brendan Hunt, who always, always knows when to dial it down and when to dial it up, when to bury and when to emote, dialed it way too far up when talking to Henry while Ted’s on the phone with Rebecca. I am a huge defender of how this show uses musical scenes; bring on the cheese, bring on the champagne bottle microphones, bring on the sing-alongs and heightened emotions and funeral rick rolls. Every other time a character has sung on this show, it’s been natural in the awkwardness and the slightly-outsized emotions and the inherent goofiness of it all. This time, they just could not create the right emotional conditions to earn this moment. I’m not going to give a detailed critique of a child's performance on a public website, but unfortunately I think this is a moment when the writers actually underwrote what Henry needed to say, because I’m mystified as to how he’s actually feeling and doing. Understanding those things is essential to understanding where this story is going, so I’m really upset that a huge chunk of information is missing now.

And that leads me to the incredibly unsettling ending. I had to be talked down off a ledge. I’m now pretty sure the ambiguities of how Ted and Michelle are around each other are about recognizing the ways they used to work, their common reference points, their knowledge of each other, while simultaneously experiencing yet another goodbye, yet another turning point in this (realistic, tbh) endless cycle of navigating the split. But I’m really struggling to understand Ted’s headspace in the final couple minutes of the show, whereas usually I feel like I’m practically living inside his brain as I watch.

I’ve loved s3 so far. I always knew it would be as distinct a thing of its own just as much as s1 and s2 were distinct from each other. As much as I’d be enjoying a return to the specific magic of s1, it would be impossible and wrong and even irresponsible of them to try to recreate it, and I think it would fall flat, and so I’m glad I knew that would never be my experience with this season of TV. And yet it’s a little unnerving, even as this person who’s tried to keep my high expectations open-ended, to feel so bummed about 3x8. The conversation over that beer about all the really good stuff did make me feel better, because it reminded me that the really badly done parts of this episode were less about story than about the circumstances of the storytelling. To me, those circumstances make the clunkers more forgivable instead of less. But it was still disappointing.

Probably every Ted Lasso fan feels this way on some level, but I am having such a singular experience. I am a fifteen-year-old girl again, holed up in my room because “no one understands………why I feel the way I feel about Ted Lasso.” The membrane between my takes and my empathetic yet judgmental reactions to other people’s takes is permeable and problematic. It’s shameful, but I want everyone to love it because I love it and I want everyone to calm down because I’m calm and I want everyone to be at the edge of their seat and not at all calm because I’m at the edge of my seat and not at all calm and I want everyone to love Ted/Rebecca even if they never kiss because I love Ted/Rebecca (even if they never kiss) and I want everyone to have hated this episode because I hated it and I want everyone to give it time and space to breathe because I’m trying to do that and I want everyone to wait and see what fucking happens because I’ve got some kind of freak patience when it comes to this fucking experience. I want to be my best self and I am not my best self. I’m insane about this show, and I’m not working on the issue. Eek.

#ted lasso #ted lasso meta #meta by me #ted lasso s3 spoilers #ted lasso 3x8 #hot dork club #ted x rebecca #nate x jade #keeley x jack

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