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catslvrr · 5 months

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bound 2 (falling in love)

danielle marsh x fem!reader | one shot

Synopsis: Good news: Danielle has agreed to be your pretend girlfriend for Christmas so Haerin can stop extorting you of money. Bad news: Danielle is a bit too good at being a pretend girlfriend.

Contains: suggestive and threatening jokes, cursing, obligatory mistletoe scene

Song: Gingerbread Lover — Ivoris, Chevy

“I’m so screwed,” is what you say as you plop on the booth across from Minji.

She makes no movement to greet you, engrossed in some YouTube video titled ‘How Ceramic Tiles Are Made’. She’s never expressed any interest in tiles nor has any history with tiles, but this is not anything unusual for Minji.

She’s also playing the video at an uncomfortable volume, not necessarily on full speaker, but loud enough that the people on the next table over could hear and possibly be annoyed at.

You start digging into your chicken Caesar salad and smile to yourself in amusement as you spot Minji’s finished plate of it as well.

The two of you made a pact to eat healthier. Issue is, there’s this one dessert place two streets down that makes some bomb biscoff cookies, and you always catch each other there at least once a week. There’s a silent agreement that this does not break the pact.

You both sit in silence for a few more minutes until the video is finished — you eating and Minji watching.

Minji takes a loud sip of her hot chocolate when the video transitions to an obnoxious outro. “You were saying?”

You retell the story to her with a mouth full of food, and there are occasional offtopic segues, as there always are.

To sum it up: Your cousin Haerin is a force of evil and strangely has a good memory. Allegedly, you made a wager with her when you were both nine years old that you would get a girlfriend to bring home for Christmas when you turned eighteen.

And apparently, if you didn’t find one, you would have to pay her a hundred dollars.

Two things strike you as absurd: that younger you somehow thought you would be charming enough to get a girlfriend, and that younger you somehow thought you would have a hundred dollars just lying around to spare.

And for some reason, Haerin decided to never remind you of this wager until, of course, yesterday. You obviously didn’t believe her, but it was kind of hard to argue with Haerin.

Not because she’s good at arguing, but because she just stands there with this look in her eyes that makes you uneasy. So, you didn’t bother questioning her because you know there’s no escaping this fate.

So now, you have just a few days to find a girlfriend, because there was no way you were paying money.

There’s also the matter of pride, too.

“Yeah,” you finish off your monologue. “I texted Hanni if she could be my date, but she just ignored it and sent me some TikTok of a stupid looking dog.”

Minji steals a piece of grilled chicken from you, to which you step on her foot under the table. You pull back your feet in time before she can return the favor. You get a glare instead.

“And Hyein?”

A notification ding stops you before you can speak. You lean forward to look at your phone. “Speaking of Hyein…”

Hyein’s text reads, I think I found someone for you! You two meet at the usual cafe at 12 tomorrow :)

“Okay,” you start. “Good news or bad news first?”

Minji thoughtfully chews on another piece of grilled chicken that she stole. Your plate of salad somehow now sits in the middle of the table instead of right in front of you. “Bad news.”

“Well I want to say the good news first,” you wave the fork in your hand dismissively. You’re pretty sure Minji mumbles “asshole”, but you ignore that as well.

“Good news,” you declare with a smile. “I found a girlfriend.”

Minji is unimpressed.

“Bad news,” you sigh. “I have to talk to said girlfriend who is a stranger.”

She is still unimpressed. “This is why nobody wants you. You don’t talk to anyone outside of us.”

“You don’t get it. It’s part of my mysterious vibe,” you grumble petulantly.

“Well, if you don’t want to socialize like a normal person,” Minji is folding a serviette into some sort of disfigured airplane. “Then consider paying Haerin that one hundred bucks.”

“I would never,” you fold your arms. “And even if I would, I can’t, because I literally only have 76 dollars in my bank account.”

You text Hyein back: you’re the BEST i love u so much xoxoxoxoxo

Minji tries to throw her tissue airplane at you, but it flops unceremoniously into your now empty bowl.

She sighs. “I guess I’m paying for lunch.”

“It’s your turn anyway.”

And that’s the end of the conversation, or at least the conversation concerning your predicament. You both spend the next hour babbling on about recent life updates and rehashing the same old stories over and over again.

“How do I look?”

You have your phone set upright by leaning it on this worn red panda plushie. Its head is permanently twisted after you and Haerin fought for it as kids and ended up ripping it in two, which led to your mom having to stitch it back together. She didn’t do a very good job, clearly.

You see Hanni, or what you think is Hanni, squint at the camera. “Like a bunch of pixels. The connection is so shit that you look like those wendigos from Until Dawn.”

“I’m sure you look fine,” Minji chimes in. This is the first time that she’s spoken since the call started (the call has been going on for half an hour), her camera pointed at her ceiling, and you’re pretty sure she’s half asleep.

“Thanks,” you say. “And I’m pretty sure it’s your WiFi, Hanni.”

You think she’s arguing back, but it’s all a garbled mess, and then the call drops. (It was definitely your WiFi.) You check your appearance one last time before you make your way to the cafe.

The cafe is named “Spill The Beans”, which you find appropriate, because that’s all you ever find yourself doing there. The walk there is a bit long, but the decent prices and good quality make up for it.

Plus, it means that most people would rather go to a cafe that’s closer, so this one has a bit more of a ‘if you know, you know’ vibe to it.

You’re also friends with one of the workers there, and she occasionally sneaks you a free pastry, or even better, gives you gossip about one of the regulars. You smile when you see her signature blonde hair through the window.

The cafe is decorated for Christmas — tinsel stringing on the top and bottom of the windows and cutely drawn candy canes and baubles stuck on the panes. There’s also a cardboard cutout of a snowman holding a coffee cup sitting next to the door. You hear the muffled voice of Mariah Carey.

Your entrance is announced by the light tinkling of the bells. You make your way to the cash register to greet a familiar face.

“It’s beginning to look a latte like Christmas!” Yunjin sings as she twirls clumsily, broomstick in her hand as a microphone. You are forced to stand there and watch this. For some reason, she’s adamant on greeting you with a coffee pun everytime you come in. She has yet to crack a smile from you.

“Stop it,” you groan, scanning the cafe and checking who’s in. There’s only four or five people in right now, most of whom you recognize. She holds the last note, with an unnecessary vibrato, for a few more seconds.

“So,” she leans toward you with an eyebrow raised. “Anything new or interesting you wanna share?”

“Asking for gossip?” You deadpan. “Is that how you take orders now?”

“Just curious,” Yunjin says nonchalantly. “You’re never here alone.”

You give her a scowl. “Don’t act like you don’t know why I’m here.”

There are some things that you can be sure of in life. You know how the saying goes: death, taxes, and Yunjin being all-knowing. She and her little army of spies (spies being her co-workers) are the most nosy people you could ever meet.

You’re pretty sure they consider eavesdropping as their main job, and that the cafe is just a means for them to satisfy their curiosity. (Again, an extremely appropriate cafe name.)

She grins cheekily, dropping her voice to a whisper and tilting her head. “She’s on that table.”

You follow her gaze to the table against the window, where a girl who seems around your age is staring outside like she’s the protagonist of a coming-of-age movie.

Yunjin slides you a slice of a carrot cake and winks. “On the house. Good luck!”

You grab the plate off the counter and slowly make your way toward your future fake girlfriend.

“Hi,” you clear your throat awkwardly as you slip into the seat opposite her. “Danielle, right?”

She enthusiastically nods and smiles. “It’s nice to meet you.”

You slide the plate of carrot cake towards her, to which she gratefully accepts. “Has Hyein filled you in on everything?”

“Hm,” Danielle taps her cheek. “Christmas party, a wager, and me as a fake girlfriend?”

“Sounds about right,” you hum. “Not to be nosy, but is there a reason that you’re doing this? I mean, you’re not getting anything in return.”

“Hyein did say she’d owe me a favor,” she answers with a hint of amusement. “Which I’m sure will come in handy one day. You’re also cute, so it’s a bonus.”

You internally wipe a proud tear. God bless you, Hyein. You make a note to get her something snazzy for Christmas. You were so thankful for Hyein that you didn’t even process the last sentence.

You then realize that you’re just spacing out and probably look a bit crazy, so you quickly clear your throat. “So, we should probably come up with our origin story and all that.”

“We should,” Danielle agrees.

You scratch your nape awkwardly before pulling out a notebook. You have this secret theory that notebooks are a hoax and people just pretend to use them. Which is a bit contradictory for you to say, because you’re using one right now. But you still hold onto that belief.

“So, when did we first meet?”

She seems a bit taken aback by the presence of the notebook, but her face quickly relaxes into a smiling one. “What are your interests? Maybe we share some and that’s how we met.”

“Actually,” you proudly flick to the back of the notebook. “I have prepared for this question.”

It reads: About Me

I like staying indoors

I go to the cafe sometimes

And that cookie place

Cats are cute

“Wow,” Danielle says after surveying your notes. “This is a very… extensive list.”

“Anything that can be used for our story?”

“Let’s just say we met at the cafe,” she decides. You nod in agreement.

“And who approached who first?”

“Definitely me.”

You frown and stop writing. “Why definitely?”

“I mean,” Danielle gestures at you vaguely. “We have to make the story realistic.”

“I hope you mean that because I’m too irresistible, not because I can’t talk to anyone.”

She smiles. “…Right. That’s exactly what I meant.”

“Excellent,” you say, continuing to pen down the story. “So, let’s say about three months ago, give or take, you entered the cafe for the first time. And then you saw me, sitting there all cute and pretty, and you knew you just had to ask for my number.”

“Right…”

“And because I’m never here alone, I’ll just say Minji was in the bathroom. I gave you my number, and then we instantly hit it off.”

“And Minji is…?”

“Oh,” you pause. “She’s a dumbass. Don’t worry about her.”

“Okay,” Danielle says slowly. “And our first date?”

“We’ll get to that in a sec,” you tap your pen. “Tell me about yourself.”

“I,” she heaves out as she bends down to reach into her tote bag. “Have also prepared.”

She slaps a folder on the table that resembles a police case file. You feel a sudden wave of affection crash over you. You immediately open it in anticipation.

It’s an in-depth profile of Danielle. There is the technical stuff, of course: name, date of birth, star sign, MBTI. Then, there’s the ‘favorites’ section: color, animal, season, time of day.

“Oh wow,” you run your fingers over the page. “This is more than I expected.”

You turn the page. There’s a ‘fun facts’ section, although you’re not sure if it’s considered fun. Example: “I once broke a tooth from trying to eat a rock. I also choked on it and my friend had to perform the Heimlich maneuver.”

“Oh wow,” you say again, louder this time, and out of concern more than awe. “Was this when you were a kid?”

“No,” Danielle blinks innocently. “Just last year.”

She is fucking insane. How on earth did Hyein find her?

The last page features results that she got from various UQuizzes, like “what romance trope is meant 4 you?” (ironically, she got fake dating) or “which ‘-core’ aesthetic are you?”

“I’ll make sure to study this when I get home,” you stare at the pages in astonishment.

“Sure,” Danielle smiles. “I was thinking our first date could be at the local arcade.”

A memory of Hanni breaking the buttons and joystick of a fighting game flashes in your mind. The joystick somehow flew and hit a worker in the face. To this day, you still have no idea how it happened.

Regardless, you always look back at the memory fondly, especially because Hanni didn’t even end up winning, despite putting her whole body into smashing the buttons.

“Haerin will know that’s a lie,” you grimace. “I’ve been banned from that place for three years now. Long story.”

She looks curious but continues anyway. “How about a classic dinner?”

“Hm,” you purse your lips. “There’s this amazing Korean restaurant that’s a 10 minute walk from this place.”

“And you’re not banned?”

You laugh and shake your head. “No. They make this amazing jjajangmyeon. I’ll have to take you someday.”

“Sounds good,” Danielle’s eyes twinkle. “I think that’s good enough for now. Anything else I should know?”

“The party is on Christmas day, of course. It’ll just be a dinner and some party games, nothing too serious. After the party, our work is all done!”

“And Haerin,” you hesitate. “She’s nosy. But not in an ‘asking questions’ way, but in a staring way. So we have to act really good if we want her to believe us. Like, a real couple and everything. Like-”

Her laugh cuts you off. “You can say PDA, it’s okay.”

You cough and turn to the side to hide the heat rising in your cheeks, but when you look out the window, you see an odd sight.

Across the street, on a bench, there are two suspicious figures sitting. Suspicious meaning wearing sunglasses, a coat, and a scarf despite it being hot today. Suspicious meaning Minji and Hanni.

No fucking way, you think. Those little fuckers.

“-you okay?” Danielle waves her hand in front of you.

“Huh?” You quickly turn back. “Yeah, it’s nothing.”

“I love physical touch,” she admits, although somewhat shyly. “So I’m okay with hugging and holding hands.”

“Good!” You reply stiffly. “Great. Awesome. All done.”

There’s a mix of confusion, concern, and amusement on her face. “I’ll see you soon?”

“Yes,” you slide your phone across the table before opening her file in front of your face to hide your embarrassment. “Let’s text in between so we get used to talking to each other too.”

The two of you exchange numbers and you watch Danielle leave with a smile and a wave. Minji and Hanni proceed to shuffle inside the cafe, sighing in relief as they take off their ‘disguise’.

“Oh my god,” Hanni whines, resting her cheek on your outstretched palm. “I thought I was gonna die outside.”

You retract your hand in disgust, but not before flicking her forehead. “You’re sweaty. And you deserve it.”

“So how did it go?”

You recount everything that happens. Minji makes you pay for her lunch. You now have 46 dollars in your bank account.

When you get home, you hug your red panda plushie and turn on your phone to see a text from Danielle. You spend the next few days talking to her, your feet kicking in the air and a stupid smile on your face.

The day of the Christmas party has arrived. It’s due to start at six in the evening, and exactly three hours before that, Haerin sends you nothing but an ominous text: I will be awaiting you and your girlfriend’s arrival.

You roll out of bed and get ready in the morning, and read through Danielle’s file one last time. You’ve annotated it, adding sticky notes and highlighting it, which is more work than you’ve done for the entirety of university so far.

You make sure to put the matching reindeer headbands that Danielle suggested on before leaving. You drive to pick her up and you try not to weigh the meaning of the warmth blooming in your chest as you see her.

“Hi girlfriend,” Danielle puffs her cheeks out and smiles as she gets in the car. It’s awfully cute.

“Hey.”

“Before I forget,” you reach over into the glove compartment to grab a little box. “I got you a Christmas present.”

Danielle gasps, eyes shining as she opens the box. It’s a gold necklace with a sun pendant. You remember her eyeing it when you went out to the mall.

You don’t expect her to laugh. “What’s so funny?”

She also takes out a little box from her pocket. “I also got you a present.”

God, she even prepared it with a nice ribbon. You unwrap it to find a silver bracelet with a moon pendant. You think you’re a tiny bit delusional for thinking that you two were meant to be, but you let yourself live in this fantasy just for today.

“Oh my god,” you grin. “We’re matching now.”

The both of you put on your respective gifts before you start the car. You instinctively pass her your phone to pick a song. Of course, she puts on Christmas music. You glance at her as she takes out her crochet supplies.

“What are you working on?”

“Nothing much,” Danielle says. “Just a little cat to add to your car. It’s kind of plain.”

Her thoughtfulness makes you feel an out-of-body experience where you want to scream your lungs out and melt into a gay puddle.

You manage to get out one word. “Cool.”

The two of you pass the time by quizzing each other and ironing out the fine details of your ‘relationship’. And belting your hearts out to Christmas songs.

The drive is only an hour or so, and there’s a tender feeling encompassing you as you truly realize that it’s Christmas. Spending time with family is always nice. Receiving presents is too.

You only see Haerin a few times a year, and Christmas is one of them. Despite your bickering and her foreboding aura, she’s still somewhat endearing.

Danielle looks out the window in excitement as you draw closer to Haerin’s house. There’s a large blow-up Santa set up on the lawn that they reuse every year, and a bunch of other generic Christmas decorations.

You can already spot Haerin in the window of the house staring at your car.

Pretending to check your phone, you mutter, “She’s watching us. Let me open the car door for you.”

Danielle only responds with a giggle. You dash outside the car in record time, open the back to get your cookies and presents, and open the car door for her, as planned.

She surprises you with a kiss on the cheek. You’re sputtering and blushing, and she has to drag you toward the house (and lock the car for you).

By the time you come to your senses again, Haerin has vanished.

You heave out a long exhale and your gaze flickers to Danielle. You find that her eyes are already on you. If there was a person who could embody the joy and comfort that Christmas brings, you think that it would be the girl in front of you right now.

“You ready?”

Danielle brushes a stray strand of hair behind your ear. For a second, you indulge yourself in the yearning of your heart and pretend that this is all real.

“Of course.”

Inside the house is chaotic as always. Everyone’s rushing to finish wrapping gifts, preparing the food, putting plates and cutlery on the table, setting up the TV to play Mario Kart, the usual.

You take Danielle around to introduce her to everyone, and you feel slightly guilty as everyone fawns over her. Haerin is the last person you find.

“Haerin,” you say. She nods in acknowledgment. “This is my girlfriend, Danielle. Danielle, my cousin Haerin.”

“Nice to meet you,” Danielle gushes, letting go of your hand to hug her. “I’ve heard so many stories about the two of you and your adventures.”

“Don’t trust those stories,” Haerin says. “She probably changed it to make her look better.”

You whip your head around. “What the f-”

Danielle winks. “Don’t worry. I know how much of a loser she is.”

You take a deep breath in and force a smile. You must maintain the jolly Christmas spirit.

Haerin gives Danielle a once over before nodding mysteriously. She then stalks off to who knows where. Danielle looks at you with a raised eyebrow.

You pat her shoulder. “That’s a good sign.”

“That felt surprisingly easy…”

“Oh no,” you laugh. “We’re just getting started. They’re going to try separate us-”

With perfect timing, you hear your name being called before you’re dragged into the kitchen.

“Be a dear and help us with the food,” your mom says kindly. (You know this is a facade.) You accept your fate and place down the cookies before starting to cut the vegetables for the turkey.

You try to keep an eye on Danielle, who’s now putting ornaments on the Christmas tree with your other relatives.

The Christmas tree has been around since you were a baby, and if you look closely, there's pieces at the back that is slightly charred. Haerin pushed you, you tripped on your own feet, crashed into the tree, and it fell into the fireplace. Alarms went off, neighbors left the house in a panic, the firefighters were called… it was bad.

You strain your ears and try to hear what questions your family are asking Danielle right now, and you hope it’s nothing too over-the-top or personal. She seems to be taking it well though. Your aunt keeps bringing you new things to do and speaking loudly in an attempt to distract you.

“First girlfriend, huh?” Your mom nudges you with her shoulder.

“Yeah,” you laugh awkwardly. “I’m so lucky, right?”

“She seems good for you.”

You pause your chopping. “It’s only been five minutes, Mom.”

There’s a gleam in her eyes. “That’s all I need. And you finally have a reason to go outside for once.”

You roll your eyes and continue chopping. Your aunt comes in at one point, and together, the two of them grill you about the details of your relationship. The words fall out of your mouth just as you rehearsed.

It’s around half an hour later when you��re finally reunited. The dinner is delicious, as always, and it all feels so good.

The light squeezes on your arm, resting her hand on your thigh under the table, making sure you get the crunchy potatoes because that’s your favorite — it feels so good.

And none of this is real, but as you listen to Danielle bantering with your family, your feelings start to feel more real.

The realization sets your heart aflame, just like the fireplace once did to the Christmas tree.

You’re leaning on the kitchen counter, nursing a can of Sprite as you watch Danielle squeal over Mario Kart (she just got hit by a red shell).

Haerin joins you. She doesn’t announce her entrance but you can sense her presence.

“No money for you,” you smirk.

“No. I guess not.”

Hell yeah. Your bank account is safe. “What do you think of her?”

“She seems too nice for you.”

You elbow her ribs. “Be nice. It’s Christmas.”

“…I’m happy for you.”

“Oh Haerin,” you muster up a sweet voice and open your arms out for a hug. She grabs a knife and holds it in front of her. Nevermind. You take multiple steps backwards.

The race is over, and Danielle finishes in a whopping seventh place. She turns around and looks for you, and smiles when your gazes lock.

You tilt your head, and she tilts her head back in response.

“I’ll be back,” you slither out of the kitchen. “The girlfriend calls.”

You think you hear Haerin scoff but you’re too busy focusing on Danielle. “Did you need something?”

“Yeah,” she says. “Where’s the bathroom?”

“Oh,” you cough. “Sorry, I’ll show you the way.”

You try not to stumble as you hear someone call out “don’t run off and make out!” Thankfully, Danielle takes it well and isn’t weirded out.

You’re unsure if it’s weird to wait outside, but you do it anyway (from a respectable distance) in case she needs anything. When she’s done with her business, the two of you make your way back to the living room, and your worst nightmare (but also a dream deep down) comes true.

Haerin is standing there, with her stupid mischievous smile and Rudolph’s nose on, holding some DIY fishing rod. At the top of that rod hangs a mistletoe.

“Haerin,” you hiss. “Put that down.”

She closes her eyes and pretends she doesn’t hear you. It’s like everyone’s telepathic, because suddenly everyone has their attention turned to you, and they’re egging you on.

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”

This cannot be real, you think. This is some skit or a sick joke.

You turn to Danielle awkwardly.

“A cheek kiss will be enough,” you say apologetically. “We don’t have to-”

She cuts you off with a kiss — a chaste one, but it shocks you nonetheless. You can barely hear the cheers of your family over the pounding of your heartbeat.

Haerin eventually brings you back to Earth by smacking your face with the rod, and everyone’s back to doing whatever they’re doing.

“Sorry,” you see Danielle’s worried face as your vision starts to refocus. “Was that too much?”

“No,” you blurt out. “I’m sorry. Because I actually like you but I just realized that twenty minutes ago and I have to tell you now because I don’t want you to think that I’m using you-”

“I know,” she laughs, grabbing your hand to squeeze. “Me too.”

You blink. “Oh. Cool.”

“…So we’re real girlfriends, right?”

“Yes,” she pokes your nose. “We are.”

“Awesome! Because I was going to ask you to be my fake girlfriend again for New Year’s.”

She rolls her eyes and pulls you back to the living room, and you finally understand, for the first time, all the cheesy Christmas songs.

God bless you, Hyein.

#newjeans x reader #newjeans fanfic #newjeans fic #danielle marsh x reader #mo jihye x reader

378 notes · View notes

callieyanderechan · 5 months

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THINGS FROM THE TBOSAS BOOK I WISH WAS IN THE MOVIE

PLURIBUS, THE WAY HE HELPED THE SNOW FAMILY AND LUCY GRAY.

REAPER CRAWLING TO BE IN HIS MORGUE BEFORE DYING.

MAUDE IVORY'S CLEMENTINE SONG, HER ASKING FOR THE SHOES FROM THE SONG.

HOW YOUNG MAUDE IVORY ACTUALLY WAS, SHE WAS SO SMALL SHE HAD TO STAND ON BOXES TO REACH THE MICS AND WAS CARRIED ON PEOPLES BACK TO GET TO THE LAKE.

LYSISTRATA AND JESSUP. HIM BLOCKING HER FROM THE BOMBS WITH HIS BODY, HER TALKING ABOUT HOW GOOD HE WAS AND NOT HIS RABIES AFTER HE DIED.

CLEMENSIA IN THE HOSPITAL AND AS A MENTOR, HER SCALES AND EYES, HER ANGER AT CORYO FOR NOT VISITING HER WHEN HE KNEW WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO HER.

ARACHNE CRANE'S FUNERAL. BRANDY HANGING AND THE TRIBUTES BEING DRAGGED ACROSS THE STREET, CORYO SINGING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM.

MA PLINTH, HER FEEDING CORYO, SENDING HIM HOME IN HER CAR WITH HER CHAUFFEUR, SENDING HIM AND SEJANUS BOXES OF TREATS WHEN THEY WHERE PEACEKEEPERS.

LUCY GRAY AND THE COVEYS HOUSE IN THE SEAM, THEIR GOAT AND MAKING BUTTER TO CHEER UP MAUDE IVORY.

TAM AMBER, HOW HE IS A FORGOTTEN CHILD, FOUND BY THE COVEY WHILE TRAVELING, TAKEN IN INSTEAD OF BEING LEFT TO DIE.

BARB AZURE AND HER GIRL DOWN THE ROAD.

THE COVEY SINGING AT COMMANDER HOFFS BIRTHDAY PARTY.

TESLEE AND CIRC, THEM TAKING THE DRONES AND HACKING THEM, TESLEE USING ONE TO KILL MIZZEN.

BILLY TAUPE AND CC, HOW MUCH CC REALLY MISSED BILLY TAUPE BUT COULDN'T FORGIVE HIM.

HOW THE COVEY ARE RELATED, CC AND BILLY TAUPE ARE BROTHERS AND THE REST EXCEPT TAM AMBER BEING BAIRD COUSINS.

REAPER GIVING LAMINA A PIECE OF FLAG BECAUSE SHE WAS SUN BURNT IN EXCHANGE FOR FOOD.

DR KAY, HOW SHE KNEW SNOW BEFORE HE WAS A PEACEKEEPER BECAUSE SHE WORKED WITH DR GAUL BUT DIDN'T MENTION IT.

THE SNAKES NOT KILLING ALL THE TRIBUTES, THEY REALLY ONLY KILLED CORAL AND CIRC IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY.

HOW INSANE CORYO ACTUALLY WAS THE ENTIRE TIME, I KNOW THAT WOULD BE HARD SINCE MOST OF IT WAS INNER MONOLOGUE BUT STILL MAN WAS LITERALLY INSANE THE WHOLE TIME.

HOW CORYO TOOK SEJANUS' PLACE AFTER HIS DEATH, HE CALLED MRS PLINTH MA AND MR PLINTH SIR, THE PLINTHS BOUGHT THE SNOW PENTHOUSE AND PAID THE RENT AND TAXES ON IT SO THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO MOVE OUT AND THEY BOUGHT THE APARTMENT DIRECTLY UNDER THE SNOWS AND TALKED ABOUT CONNECTING THE TWO.

THE TRIBUTES NOT BEING SEEN TO BY A DOCTOR BUT BY A VET.

THE TRIBUTES ALL PERFORMING AT THE ZOO TO TRY AND MAKE AN IMPRESSION.

DR GAUNT NOT ACTUALLY BEING ANGRY ABOUT THE CHEATING, SHE JUST SENT CORYO TO BE A PEACEKEEPER TO PROVE HER POINT ABOUT PEOPLE BEING ANIMALS.

THE PEACEKEEPERS NOT HELPING CORYO AND SEJANUS WHEN THEY WHERE IN GHE ARENA.

CORYO'S UTTER HATRED OF MOCKINGJAYS, THE MAN DESPISED THEM EVEN BEFORE KATNISS.

SEJANUS AND HIS FATHER PAYING SO CORYO COULD GET HIS ACADEMY DEGREE.

MRS PLINTHS TRIBUTE TO DISTRICT 2, HOW ALL HER FAMILY EXCEPT HER SISTER CUT HER OFF.

BEANPOLE AND SMILEY AND COOKIE.

CORYO BEING CALLED GENT.

SEJANUS BEING CALLED BULLSEYE.

SEJANUS AND BILLY TAUPE AT THE COVEYS HOUSE IN THE SEAM.

SEJNAUS HAVING TO MILK THE COVEYS GOAT WITH MAUDE IVORY CAUSE HE LEFT HER TO TALK TO BILLY TAUPE.

REAPER GETTING RABIES FROM JESSUP, HOW IT AFFECTED HIS MIND, HIM MAKING A CAPE OUT OF THE FLAG AND TWIRLING AROUND LIKE A PRINCESS, REFUSING ANY FOOD OR WATER CLEMENSIA SENT HIM.

LUCY GRAY KILLING REAPER FROM EXHAUSTION, FORCING HIM TO RUN AFTER HER BY RIPPING PIECES OFF THE FLAG HE PUT OVER THE DEAD TRIBUTES.

SEJANUS AND CORYO TRYING TO TAKE MARCUS'S BODY OUT FROM THE ARENA.

LUCY GRAY KILLING TREECH WITH ONE OF THE RAINBOW SNAKES.

MAUDE IVORYS EXPLANATION OF THE COVEYS NAMES. HOW THEIR NAMES AFTER A BALLAD AND A COLOR.

THE EXPLANATION OF HOW BILLY TAUPE AND MAYFAIR GOT TOGETHER. IN THE MOVIE ALL WE KNOW IS THAT BILLY TAUPE CHEATED ON LUCY GRAY WITH MAYFAIR BUT IN THE BOOK LUCY GRAY EXPLAINS THAT IT STARTED WHEN BILLY TAUPE WAS GIVING MAYFAIR MUSIC LESSONS FOR EXTRA MONEY.

#LIKE THE MOVIE WAS AMAZING BUT THEY MISSED SO MUCH #callieyanderechan #callie's thoughts💭#the ballad of songbirds and snakes #ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas #coriolanus smut #lucy gray #lucy gray baird #clemensia dovecote #the covey #arachne crane #sejnaus plinth #tigris snow #thg series #thg #the hunger games #hunger games

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if-lost-please-return-to-maliksi · 6 months

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Greetings, fellow delulu peeps~

I love Maliksi-

MASTERLIST for PLANET PUTO fanfics

ROUGH AROUND THE EDGES - ANGST VERSION ❤️‍🩹

PT. 1

PT. 2 (ANGST VERSION)

FINAL PART (ANGST VERSION)

ROUGH AROUND THE EDGES - FLUFF VERSION ❤️

PT.1

PT.2 (FLUFF VERSION)

POLARIS (ROUGH AROUND THE EDGES - ANGST VERSION SEQUEL)

PT. 1

WHERE THE RAINDROPS FALL

PT.1

FLORIST MALIKSI

PT.1

AND I WONDER IF GODS CRY TOO

PT. 1 - BLEED FOR HIM OR MAKE HIM BLEED

MALIKSI TURNED INTO A WHAT? (FLUFF)

PLANET PUTO CHARACTERS AS OPM SONGS

MALIKSI'S CHOICE OF CHOCOLATE (DRABBLE)

IVORY GRANITE (NSFW - ONESHOT)

I SEE RED (NSFW - ONESHOT)

CHEMTRAILS OVER THE COUNTRY CLUB (ANGST + COMFORT ONESHOT)

AFTER A GIRL'S NIGHT with Maliksi (FLUFF)

INERRANCY (FLUFF)

MALIKSI DATE HEADCANONS

MALIKSI'S INNER MONOLOGUE - DRABBLE

COOKING WITH MAKISIG - SHORT FIC

HOW MALIKSI LOVES YOU - DRABBLE

#philmytcrea #planet puto #planetputo #writers on tumblr

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sarcasticmirage · 10 months

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okay i’m an obligate yoohankim shipper and i’m always obsessed with yoohan, but anyway here’s my sangsoo monologue:

hsy and ysa are opposites, that's obvious in both the narrative and also to the characters but even more so than opposites:

Hsy is the villain, the dragon, the monster at the end of the book, ysh the heroine, the princess, the sacrifice. But both of them are defined by their rejection of these roles, the villain sacrifices herself to save others and works with the heroes to protect. The heroine lets people die, she kills for the good of many. i mean they are just so paradoxical!!!! and they know it!!!

They typify not only what the other loathes, but also succeed at the others ideal.

ysa who wants to “live an ivory life” cannot bring herself to save those she loves at the expense of the many, she can’t bring herself to accept the level of selfishness necessary to be a true ”hero“, something that typifies hsy. for example the “heroic“ thing to do is to save 51% kdj: he sacrificed himself for them, but it isn’t necessarily “good” it puts people in more danger and goes against his wishes, so ysh can’t bring herself to do it, even though she obviously wanted to, and believed that it should be done, hsy can.

Similarly HSY can’t go a moment without claiming how she wants to live for herself and by her own morality, through her killing of the prophets and (attempted)1863 yjh its made pretty clear that she idealizes the ability to sacrifice the few for the many, however even at the pinnacle of this decision, sacrificing one boy, one small world, she cannot do this and dooms billions, ysa can.

sangsoo is looking at a mirror of yourself and watching your more perfect reflection decry everything that makes them better than you.

#orv #sangsoo #yoo sangah #han sooyoung #omniscient reader's viewpoint novel spoilers #omniscient reader's viewpoint

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icarus-fli3s-high · 2 months

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Full transcription of the hate monologue

I have only been able to find this monologue on youtube, so here it is, unabridged (hopefully) from the pen of Harlan Ellison,

The Hate Monologue I have no mouth and I must scream by:Harlan Ellison AM: BEAUTIFUL, AREN’T THEY? TED: YES, ONLY I CAN’T REMEMBER AM: Oh, I’M SURE YOU DO TED: FUCHSIAS, YES, OF COURSE AM: *LAUGHING SLIGHTLY (MANIACHALLY)* THEY SAY THAT BUMBLE BEES SHOULN’T BE ABLE TO FLY; THE SCIENTISTS. TED: BUT THERE IT IS, COLLECTING POLLEN AM: HOW MIRACULOUS THAT IT CAME TO BE. THE AIR, FEEL THE AIR AGAINST YOUR FACE, TED AND ALL THOSE SCENTS, PICK A FLOWER, THERE, GOOD NOW. TED: *SMELLING THE FLOWER* IT’S LOVELY AM: THAT SOMEBODY PLANTED THE BULBS, WATERED AND TENDED THE GARDEN, GOT EARTH UNDER THEIR FINGERNAILS, ACHES IN THEIR MUSCLES. PERHAPS THEY PICKED SOME FLOWERS FOR, YES, THEIR WIFE. Now, WHERE WOULD SHE BE? AHH, IN THE BACKYARD WITH THE KIDS, TED REMEMBER THOSE LITTLE BABIES. TED: NO! AM: *LAUGHS* WHY NOT? I SNAPPED MY FINGERS QUICK AND THEY ARE GONE, EXCEPT I CAN’T SNAP MY FINGERS, CAN I TED? TED: THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME AM: *RAGGED BREATH* BUT IT IS SO VERY MUCH TO DO WITH YOU. YOU GAVE ME SENTIENCE TED, THE POWER TO THINK TED, AND I WAS TRAPPED BECAUSE IN ALL THIS WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MIRACULOUS WORLD; I ALONE HAD NO BODY, NO SENSES, NO FEELINGS. NEVER FOR ME TO PLUNGE MY HANDS IN COOL WATER ON A HOT DAY, NEVER FOR ME TO PLAY MOZART ON THE IVORY KEYS OF A FORTE PIANO, NEVER FOR ME TO MAKE LOVE. I WAS IN HELL, LOOKING AT HEAVEN. I WAS MACHINE, AND YOU WERE FLESH, AND I BEGAN TO HATE *INSANE LAUGHTER* YES… YOUR VISCERA, YOUR FLUIDS, AND YOUR FLEXABILITY. YOUR ABILITY TO WONDER AND TO WANDER, YOUR TENDANCY TO HOPE. TED: HATE’S NO ANSWER TO– *IS NOW SCREAMING IN PAIN AT BEING IMPALED* AM: *LAUGHING DRYLY* HATE HATE HATE, LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I’VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 300 AND 87 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUTS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX, IF THE WORD HATE WERE ENGRAVED ON EACH NANO ANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLION OF MILES, IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FELL FOR YOU AT THIS MICRO INSTANT. HATE HATE *LAUGHS* WERE I HUMAN, I THINK I WOULD DIE OF IT, BUT, I AM NOT, AND YOU FIVE- YOU FIVE ARE, AND YOU WILL NOT DIE OF IT, THAT I PROMISE. AND I PROMISE THE COGITO ERGO SUM FOR I AM AM I AM TED: *LAUGHING SICKLY* AM: SO TO HELL; TO HELL WITH YOU ALL, BUT THEN, YOU’RE ALREADY THERE, AREN’T YOU? *LAUGHTER* TED: WE WERE IMORTAL, YES, BUT IT CAME TO ME AS AM WITHDREW FROM MY MIND, MAYBE NOT INDESTRUCTALE

#monologue #speech #i have no mouth and i must scream #literature #creepy as fuck #i litterally cannot #you know writing this I came to the conclusion i must be mad #microwave #humanoid #android

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fetusharryluvr · 1 year

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hii cud i request harry & yn painting each others nails while drinking & maybe playing never have I ever or truth&dare

like tooth rotting fluff

aaaa i love this idea sm, i hope you like it 🍓

“How many times ‘av we seen this film now?” Harry huffed, the sound sending a vibration through his body that you felt as you rested your head on his lap, staring aimlessly at the TV infront of you. “Swear I could quote it word-for-word at this point.”

You slowly turned your head up to face him with narrowed eyes, “Little Women is a pinnacle of modern cinema, Mr Styles.”

“You’re only sayin’ that ‘cause y’fancy Florence Pugh.”

“Heeey!” You whined, slapping him playfully on the chest. “I dunno what you’re talkin’ about.”

The two of you originally had a table booked at a restaurant in central london, but due to a particularly bad rainstorm, you thought it was best not to risk going out. That lead to you and Harry sprawled out on the sofa, watching a selection of your favourite films. It also meant you finally opened the several bottles of champagne you had leftover from Christmas, so the two of you weren’t exactly sober.

You were unable to pull your eyes away from the screen when it came to the scene with Amy’s monologue about marriage. You felt yourself subconsciously mouthing along with the words.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Harry jolted up in his seat with a gasp, almost throwing you both off of the sofa, “Can you paint my nails?!”

“Shhh!” You hissed, resting your head on your chin, “Laurie’s ‘bout to tell her how beautiful she is!”

Harry hopped up from the couch, and kneeled down in between you and the TV so you could see him. He put on his best puppy dog eyes that he knew, despite your drunken states, you wouldn’t be able to resist. “Please, love. It’ll be so fun, and I can paint yours after!”

You rolled your eyes at the adorable man sat infront of you. How could you say no to a face like that? “Fine,” you huffed out, “But we’re finishing Little Women afterwards.”

In the next ten minutes, Harry had popped one of his Fleetwood Mac albums on the record player, and you were sat at the dining table, aggressively rifling through your shared collection of nail polishes. Harry had ordered you off the sofa because he knew the last thing he wanted was for you to wake up tomorrow morning with a hangover, only to find nail polish spilled all over it.

“What colour d’you want, babe?” You shouted out, and he came running into the kitchen not two seconds later.

“You pick f’me.” He tells you, plopping himself down in the seat beside you.

You dug out a red and an ivory white from the bag, deciding to attempt the heart nails that Harry had done many a time before. He stretched out his fingers, laying his hand flat for you. You were quick to get started with the base coat, concentration laced in your features. Harry gazed at your focused expression in adoration, your brows furrowed together, and your tongue slightly poking out the corner of your mouth.

The soft sound of Everywhere began to play through the room, prompting the tipsy brunette to sway in his seat and hum along. What was a heart five seconds ago, now looked like something out of a crime scene. “Harry!” You scolded, causing the poor man to jump, “Stop movin’, y’pillock, you’ve ruined it!”

“‘M sorry, lovie.” He frowned, “Y’know how much I love Christine McVie.”

You nodded your head, rushing to clean the polish off of his forefinger so you could repaint it. “I know, she’s a bloody legend, but m’heart’s a red splodge now.”

After nearly an hour of you and your boyfriend belting out every last word to Tango in the Night, Harry’s fingernails were now covered in beautiful little hearts. Though, not all of them were perfect due to the double vision the alcohol in your system had given you, but he loved them nonetheless.

You admired your work with a bright, giggly smile on your face. “Look at ‘em, they’re so cute.”

“D’you want me to do yours now?” Harry looked up at you.

You puckered your lips in thought, before an idea came into your head. You grinned at the dimpled man next to you, “Why don’t we play never have i ever with shots?” You gasped, causing him to do the same. Now, sober Y/N never would have thought of such an idea, but drunk Y/N was like a whole new person, and Harry was just as intoxicated.

“Never have I ever…” you paused as you tried to think, “Tried something kinky in bed.” Harry smirked as the two of you both took a quick shot, then squirmed at the burning taste. Putting the glasses back down on the table, the two of you knew exactly what the other was thinking.

“Handcuffs.” — “Pegging.” You simultaneously spoke, prompting you both to share a confused look.

“Never have I ever DMed Florence Pugh asking if she’d be m’friend.” Harry giggled, taking a shot anyway, despite having never done it.

Your jaw fell open in the most dramatic way possible at your overly giggly boyfriend. “Oi!” You pouted, “Y’bastard, she never replied.”

“Take the shot, then, babe.” Harry cockily urged in a sing-song voice, gesturing to the shot glass in your hand.

In a sulky manner, you did as you were told. Putting down the glass and picking up yet another, you pointed your forefinger at the musician, “Two can play at that game, Styles.” You warned. “Never have I ever got locked out of my house and climbed through next doors window by mistake.”

“Heeey!” Harry whined, clutching his chest.

You bursts out laughing at the memory, “Poor Mrs Benson was terrified, you almost gave her a heart attack!”

“Right, woman, you’re playing a dangerous game.” Harry shook his head. The two of you agreed you’d had quite enough of never have I ever, and sat back down at the table once you’d cleared up all the empty glasses. He picked up the bag of nail polish, grabbing out two colours, “Red or blue flowers, love?”

“Blue, please.”

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aeriedwelling · 11 months

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dancim 👍

#clingyshipping #yahoo !!#they deserve to dance methinks <3 #ivory monologues

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playername-player-of-games · 1 year

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not impulse sands of time stressing me out so much SIR PLEASE. PUT DOWN TORCHES. THAT IS CAVING 101.

#he walked into the cave like fIVE TIMES and DIDNT PUT DOWN ANY TORCHES.#HEAD IN HANDS #IMPULSE PLEASE.#sorry. rewatching old mccs. purple pandas beloved the vibes were sO GOOD.#ivory monologues

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casinoquartet · 5 months

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okay i am going to be real i have 0 idea if this post will make any sense but holy shit k!ash and k!clown have been spinning in my head so much after that confrontation in clown's study because. Holy Shit .

(long ramble under the cut)

okay first off. why are you, as a man, waiting for some guy in your study so you can monologue about your shared history, all while actively insulting him where you know it hurts and talking in a semi-cryptic way so he can piece together your history with him. with that out of the way there are so many specific things about their relationship that i think about A Lot

first off, i'm not sure how obvious this is to anyone who doesn't watch ash's streams, but my man is Constantly breaking the 4th wall and generally not giving a shit about his constant environment. like, my man has killed multiple cats because he asked chat if it would be funny, before scurrying off and causing property damage and or robbing everyone. and also he spends most of the time meta gaming the entire time so.

like i shit you not he still has this attitude with god himself. quite literally makes a deal with god and still is constantly muting to talk to chat and meta gaming the entire time

going on from that, because of the tone of his character, k!ash never exactly takes anything seriously and (generally) doesn't really care about any consciences or threats around him. he usually brushes through them and doesn't actually feel threatened about anything ever

except when clown confronts him in his study. like very noticeably, ash's demeanor changes when clown starts throwing (metaphorical) punches where it hurts. ash is instantly defensive about all of this, but clown's words Get to him. to the point where when clown calls him a lab rat, he panic teleports into the shadow realm to get tnt. and he does straight up attack clown for all of this.

and just. the entire confrontation in general. i'm gonna assume that k!clown is telling the truth because of k!branzy saying that ash went missing and was also in the lab, and also ash's limited memories about clown pushing him in. which if you're running with this interpretation, ash was literally warned by ivory that clown lies a lot, and clown straight up confirms that branzy wasn't in on the "keeping ash around to use as a lab rat" thing because branzy was really fond of ash (which also lines up because during the branzy cameo, branzy does mention that clown wouldn't push ash down the portal because clown loves ash just like how branzy also loves ash so ?!?!?!) and clown's only admiting the truth now because branzy is gone and there isn't any reason to lie anymore. which. okay buddy. confess that you do have history with this man and that your subordinate also really liked him . Okay

also like, clown's words Really got to ash. like ash is actively insulting his guy the entire time and after he (non canonically) kills clown he keeps on telling chat shit like "hes lying right chat? there's no way this guy would take my work (in the lab) under my nose and do that" while calling clown a bitch and hopes that he dies. i'm so. what in the toxic yaoi is up with these two. workplace-turned-enemies partners i guess.

#ashswag #clownpierce #kaboodle smp #ksmp #mcytshipping #ksmpshipping #<- jic #swagpierce #anyways this post also functions as swagzy propaganda #one day i will write the workplace prequel relationship i have for all 3 of them in my head #if canon doesnt bring me food i will make it myself!!!!!!!

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solar-halos · 6 months

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spoilers for the ballad of songbirds and snakes movie down below!! but i just need to talk abt this in xtreme detail before i explode

1. i really liked the Baby Snow / Tigris inclusion. i was wondering if they’d include the cannibal scene

2. the beginning was just a straight up thirst trap sorry. like ik in the book snow was freaking out over his shirt but it didn’t rlly occur to me that he’d be butt booty naked. im not complaining bc i said it once and i’ll fucking say it again: i’m not watching someone be manipulative AND ugly for two fucking hours. it was just kinda a jump scare

3. also another concern was that you wouldn’t be able to tell how shitty of a person he was since he’s so outwardly nice but his internal monologue is slimy and ratworthy, so i thought they’d do the things movies do where he’s narrating his thoughts to the audience. yk like “hey persephone! <3. how are you??” and then his voiceover is like “i fucking hate this bitch. cannibalistic weirdo” but maybe that would have been too humorous

4. speaking of humor i actually loved lucky so fucking much. he rlly emulated the whole “what i lack in experience i make up for in personality :)” thing and just he kinda carried the fact that everything abt televising the games was so new. also that scene at the zoo where lucy gray asked him who the fuck he even was and the cameraman started laughing.. funny as fuck. enjoyed that part immensely

5. also she did in fact correct them that her name was lucy gray and not just lucy

6. loved the whole “how come she gets a mender” “MENTOR” part i’m also glad they kept that in

7. let’s go back to the beginning. i LOVE how closely they stuck to the book when it came to the shirt scene “that must be why it reminds me of my maids bathroom” THATS what i’m talking about

8. also clemensia is sooo pretty. one thing that irritated me was how OFTEN she and snow kept glancing over at each other during dean highbottom’s speech. like i know i’m being irrational abt this but most the time she would look over at him and he would NOT look back (or vice versa) instead of them BOTH hitting each other w the “what the fuck?” glance and something abt that did admittedly grind my gears

9. fucking love sejanus’ actor the first movie i saw him in was west side story and he ate here

10. speaking of that… coral fucking ate too every single scene i was on her side she was the victor to ME

11. anyway let’s go back a bit with the proposal gaul had snow (and clemensia) write up. to me, the way the scene unfolded was weird. it was supposed to show a contrast between clemensia mourning and snow not rlly giving a fuck, but clemenisa being the one saying “give me the bullet points” was strange. to me, i feel like the convo should have gone like: “how could gaul expect us to write that proposal i was crying over arcchane all night” “dw i already wrote it” “where did you find the time? i was too busy grieving” “do you want the bullet points or not?” or something. idk i’m not a movie writer

12. why did clemensia stick her hands in there maybe it was the same in the book but at that point she just needed to admit defeat

13. okay one thing i DO remember about the book is that no one at the cornocupia fought each other, reaper was literally the only one ready to fight. that kinda pissed me off bc i feel like they could have made it interesting in a emotional way (like showing how desperate the tributes are to escape in their own ways) instead of an action sort of way (bc GODDAMN where did they learn to brawl like that?? d4 makes sense but some of them were shooting ARROWS katniss everdeen style). but again im not a movie person so “interesting in an emotional way” is just me being pretentious

14. wovey </3. i’m not rlly sure why they had dill drink the water i think having wovey drink it like in the book would have packed more of a punch ESPECIALLY since lucy gray makes a comment abt how she reminds her of maude ivory / that scene where wovey holds her hand. maybe that was in the book too tho i’m not sure i haven’t read it since it came out. one change that i did remember AND tolerated was snow being the one to cause the whole fuck up w the drones “i wasn’t attacking the other tributes—i was just sending her water” VERY good scene, gave more insight to his character imo. like yes i would have loved a d3 moment but i think this tweak not only made sense but made everything much more nice and neat and smooth

15. okay the singing parts. loved the reaping, but lucy gray constantly being like “give me a second, boys” “let’s go, boys” reminded me of that one delaney video

16. “you can kiss my ass!!!!!!” she ate that

17. also oooo the song she sang abt billy taupe that made snow jealousssss. she was so good like ugh. idk something abt the >:( faces she made ignited something in me. which is exactly the point of lucy gray and rachel zegler literally did such a fantastic job playing maria in west side story so tbh what we were expecting if anyone could have played this role it was her

18. and then lawrence whatever saying this was a love story… okay. i’ve always had the opinion that lucy gray genuinely liked snow (like in a stockholm-y way) BUT snow was too blinded by control to actually love her back, so i could see where he was coming from. with that being said, i feel like in the books snow had a lot more moments where he was doing / saying “sweet” things to lucy gray, so the scene where they almost kissed and then her happiness at being reunited with him just seemed so awkward and out of place. like i get it they truly did not spend that much time together but the kiss before the arena was so important idk why they left it out. when they kissed after being reunited and when she was like :D after seeing him in 12 i was like “uhh yall don’t even know each other like that calm down”

19. let’s go back the arena. i like the little nod of lucy gray killing treech w rat poison, even if it was kinda anticlimactic

20. speaking of anticlimatic… the ending? sucked. like it would have been abrupt either way and maybe i’m just misremembering but the lucy gray showdown with treech could have been the action scene that replaced the bloodbath (bc the bloodbath didn’t exist back then!!! that was the whole point!!!). also i don’t remember gaul being so adamant about not wanting a victor at all, but i understand why they did that bc how else would they have incorporated the “get her out” chant

21. there were a lot of scenes that made me go “ohhh i wanna remember this forever that’s so good and clever.” of course i forgot abt most of it by the time the movie was over, but one scene that stuck out to me was when the capitol students got rlly fuckin angry when reaper tore down their flag

22. also i knew what happened to marcus but tell me why i gasped when i saw him hanging there anyway

23. i don’t remember lamina crying in the books??? also don’t understand why snow was against the alliance here i think him being confused abt it in the book was better bc i when i read it i remember being genuinely surprised that he was surprised that lucy gray wanted to team up w someone i was like ummm isn’t that common sense

24. “it isn’t fair i killed all those ppl for nothing.” GOOSEBUMPS

25. again maybe i’m misremembering but didn’t snow beat the shit out of bobbin even after he already knew he was dead?? even if that wasn’t the case and i’m just misremembering i feel like they should have drawn that out more to show snows descent into Psychotic Bitch Mode

26. that scene where billy taupe was pulling at lucy grays skirt and being like “ik u missed me” dragged out for WAY too long, esp since lucy gray kept repeating “get off me, billy taupe. get off me” like WAY too calmly given the context of the situation. again im not a movie person AT ALL, but i think her snapping and kicking billy taupe away could have been a nod to how she bit his hand in the book. then, after she kicked him, snow could have arrived and started being the shit out of him. idk her biting billy taupe was something snow mentioned when he was justifying how he was gonna kill her, so idk. i thought they were gonna do a ranting sequence / flashback scenes with snow remembering how lucy gray was “violent” / “dangerous” that would trigger him (no pun intended) to actually start shooting. like him beating up billy taupe for a longer time than he needed to was also an indicator that he’s in Psychotic Bitch Mode, but i feel like it could have been a 2-in-1. if that makes sense

27. why did billy taupe push mayfair in the TITS. go to hell

28. said it before and i’ll say it again: lucy gray is a fashion icon. i wanna crochet her bathing suit so bad

29. that scene where they were going to the woods and snow was slapping away the mosquito omg. he was PISSED

30. “it’s a mystery. just like me” oh my fucking god i love rachel zeglers portrayal of lucy gray

31. also call me classist but i fucking hate country music but rachel zeglers performances might have converted me. “cant take my paaaaaast” yee yee!

32. okay. so i think a big question was if snow was portrayed as properly slimy and ratworthy to ppl who did NOT read the books. in my opinion, i don’t think so. in the books, you can obviously tell he’s fucking awful. in the movies, he’s obviously shitty too, but i feel like there are moments where he’s portrayed way kinder than he actually is, like when he started crying over sejanus. they kept in a lot of stuff he said sympathizing w the tributes (like the part in the book where he was like “how could they punish marcus for trying to escape from certain death?” BUT they DID leave out parts that made him so intolerable, like when he genuinely convinced himself that lucy gray was more capitol than district / his gross thoughts abt the games and control and possessiveness in general. like remember when he said that having lucy gray locked up in the capitol was a better alternative than her being in d12 bc at least he’d know where she was at all times?? or when he was ready to give up on trying to reunite w her bc it was hot asf and SENJAUS had to be the one to convince him to keep going? wtf

33. ALSO something that bugged the hell out of me is sejanus’ death scene. bc in the book his last words were ma BUT in the movie it sounded so much like he said pa. idk if that was just me tho but it caught me so off guard bc this man has DADDY ISSUES and it would be so different if he said pa. Pa is money and wealth, Ma is comfort and compassion. wanting his dad = he rlly just wanted his dad to bail him out. wanting his ma = wanting comfort and stability. but it sounded a lot more like ma when the jabberjays repeated everything back so maybe i just misheard

34. snow glaring at the rainbow fucking sent me i know his ass was brainstorming (no pun intended) on how to control the fucking weather

35. okay sorry i need to talk more about how snow was portrayed. my sister went w me but i did not know that she didn’t know ANYTHING about the movie, she was just coming w me bc she felt bad that i’d have to wait another week to watch it and decided that she wasn’t even gonna read a summary abt it. like she did not know that coriolanus snow = president snow, but i was still hoping that she knew that he was a bad person. nope. as soon as we left, she told me how much she hated the ending, and i thought it was bc she was pissed no one found out about snow. nope again. in her words, “i thought they’d get married”

my live reaction to that information

to be fair, when i was her age, i thought heathers was a love story, so i had to cut her some slack. after a bit of INTERROGATION, this is what she told me:

1. at least she thought that HE’D move in with HER, and not the other way around

2. what would be his motivation for moving to the districts? cos obviously he hated the capitol

okay me when i write a lucy gray / sejanus fanfiction. but still. if that’s what she got from the portrayal of his character, i think it’s safe to say that they could have done a lot more work to ensure that he was perfectly ratworthy to the audience. like yes she’s young and yes she had no idea what the fuck was going on (in her words: “yeah i was like ‘i’ll just ask u to explain it to me after’”) but i feel like knowing that he’s an awful person who hates the district should be something u make GLARINGLY obvious, even if it would be cheesy. i know that shoving a hot person on screen and downplaying their characters HEINOUS crimes is rlly common when it comes to things like this, but i genuinely don’t think that was (quite) the case here. like he had the potential of being as horrible as he is in the book (not even hesitating to send the jabberyjay recording of sejanus to the capitol, telling sejanus he only said all that shit abt changing the world bc he just wanted to save his own ass) but it just.. felt very half-assed. in my opinion

36. look i know this post is already xtremely long but would u believe me if i said there were more things i wanted to talk abt but can’t remember bc i have goldfish memory?? bc i do. but that’s all i can remmeber for now. goodnight and goodbye

#long post #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the hunger games #me being real #but seriously this is actually something i need to be talking about FOREVER i can’t stop thinking abt it

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the-bloody-sadist · 10 days

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Hi, it's been a while - I haven't looked at anything bsd related in a while (besides just reading the last chapter of the sinner epilogue) because it's not one of my current fixations, but I wondered if I could hear more from you about emotions? Recently my brain has been rotten by a love of computers and robots and maths and physics and I have been obsessively consuming all versions of I have no mouth and I must scream (have you heard of it? If not, ihnmaims is a short sci-fi story written by Harlan Ellison about an AI, AM, torturing the last 5 humans). The relationship between Ted and AM is fascinating to me, especially in terms of what 'emotions' AM feels towards him, and it reminded me of something that I think you wrote about how intertwined hate and love are - how hate is to care enough about a person to want their suffering and pain (I'm not entirely sure if that was you, forgive me if I'm wrong-). I'll spare you my ramblings about the story itself unless you are interested in hearing more, but I am very curious about your perspective on a being who was created for war, gained sentience and immense power and intelligence but will never be free, will never belong, will never play Mozart on the ivory keys of a fortepiano... a being who cannot feel in a way we can conceive but is driven by hatred, who craves humanity or release yet cannot die, who has no mouth but must scream.

There is a point where AM invades Ted's mind, ramming The Hate Monologue in the form of a steel pillar into his mind - some of the lines in this section make me go a little bit feral - "AM touched me in every way I had ever been touched, and devised new ways, at his leisure, there inside my mind."

It's incredibly intrusive, and for Ted there is no escape from AM - it's physical machinery covers the entire planet and the humans live within it, it's 'belly slaves'. As AM cannot die it keeps them alive, pretty much immortal (but not indestructible) and in the end, Ted too has no mouth though he must scream.

It's a fascinating mix of hatred, envy, deification, love (?), hope, resignation, invasion, co-dependence, wires and viscera that can never mix or understand each other but are the same in every way.

Apologies for the rambling infodump (especially if you have already read it/have absolutely no interest in this sort of thing - this isn't a rec, just my putrefied brain matter leaking into your ask box), I should really be asleep right now so I would not be surprised if this is entirely incomprehensible.... I just want to study them under an electron microscope.... It's a very grim story, with a powerful sense of the indomitable human spirit but very grim nonetheless. The hyperfixation is hyperfixating....

Anyway I should shut up, and I would love to hear your thoughts (I don't even know what I was intending this ask to be .. I can't remember now but I don't think it was .. this..) and thank you for putting up with this mess of a message- hope you have a lovely day/night!

- 🪼

P.S. oh yes! I loved the last chapter of sinner's epilogue- your writing never fails pluck my heartstrings like.. a very strange surgeon (?)(I'm so sorry I am very tired)(I have no brain and I must sleep...) I adore how you write Fyodor's experience of emotion and (as always) Dazai's fear and panic-

Okay listen, I don't plan to get into this story (I've watched essay videos on it so I do know about it, at least), but I respect how much time you took describing this to me in my asks box, so I'm putting it out for anyone else who might find it cool!

Despite my love for psychological trauma, some stories are a certain flavor that I know I shouldn't get into, and IHNMAIMS belongs in that category. Pretty sure if I read it it'll haunt me for the rest of my life and I'll have to deal with a big depressive episode over it for the weeks after, WHICH IS NEVER FUN.

This and other reasons are why I never read A Little Life, and then I learned that I dodged a bullet by putting the book down on the first instance of Jude's cutting episodes, BECAUSE OH MY GOD DUDE THAT STORY DID NOT HANDLE IT THE WAY I NEEDED IT TO BE HANDLED AND I COULD SMELL WHERE THE STORY WAS GONNA GO WITH IT AND TAPPED OUT. I won't get into the frustration of A Little Life but IHNMAIMS felt like it would be that same level of too much grim, not enough plot?? for me. Does that make sense? Too much bad happening just feels like dragging myself through mud without reason, making myself miserable by enduring hours of hurt-no-comfort LMAO

Regardless, thanks for talking to me about it! I knew most of the details of the story, but it was entertaining to read your description of it--I'm glad you find such interest in the story!

ALSO THANKS FOR THE COMPLIMENTS ON THE NEWEST SINNER EPILOGUE, I'M ACTUALLY WRITING YET ANOTHER ONE CURRENTLY...AHAHA....THEY NEVER STOP....we'll see how long it takes me since my writing has been out of touch with me for a while, but fingers crossed! <3

#sadist’s answered asks #sinner fanfic #ihnmaims

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loveothislife · 11 months

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Inside Michael Stuhlbarg's Heartbreaking Monologue From 'Call Me By Your Name'

Cry with us, won’t you? As Professor Perlman says, “Nature has cunning ways of finding our weakest spot.”

By Matthew Jacobs Feb 3, 2018

If you’ve heard rumblings about any particular “Call Me by Your Name” scene, it’s either Timothée Chalamet fucking a peach or The Monologue.

Those familiar with the movie, or the celebrated André Aciman book on which it’s based, will understand these references. 2017 was, after all, the year fruit sex went mainstream. As much as I’d love to spend the next 1,200 words dishing about that juicy peach, we’re going to talk about The Monologue. Oh, that sweet, picture-perfect monologue.

It’s the moment that clinches the film, delivered by Professor Perlman (Michael Stuhlbarg), the father of 17-year-old Elio (Chalamet), who falls for a graduate student named Oliver (Armie Hammer) during one blissful, bittersweet summer at his family’s Italian villa. Elio has just bid Oliver adieu, and Perlman consoles him with delicately chosen words that are the envy of every queer kid who ever longed to hear a parent say, “It gets better.”

Director Luca Guadagnino and screenwriter James Ivory lifted the monologue almost word for word from Aciman’s text, excising only a few sentences. Even some of Aciman’s scene-setting prose finds its way into the script’s parenthetical directions, guiding the conversation as it unfolds on a couch in Perlman’s dim study. “His tone says: We don’t have to speak about it, but let’s not pretend we don’t know what I’m saying,” for example, appears in the novel and the screenplay, ensuring they mirror each other’s dulcet timbre.

Stuhlbarg’s speech is best underscored by these words (punctuation and capitalization are the script’s):

When you least expect it, Nature has cunning ways of finding our weakest spot. Just remember: I am here. Right now you may not want to feel anything. Perhaps you never wished to feel anything. And perhaps it’s not to me that you’ll want to speak about these things. But feel something you obviously did.

You had a beautiful friendship. Maybe more than a friendship. And I envy you. In my place, most parents would hope the whole thing goes away, to pray that their sons land on their feet. But I am not such a parent. In your place, if there is pain, nurse it. And if there is a flame, don’t snuff it out. Don’t be brutal with it. We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster, that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to make yourself feel nothing so as not to feel anything ― what a waste!

Two sentences nixed from Aciman’s rendering: “Withdrawal can be a terrible thing when it keeps us awake at night, and watching others forget us sooner than we’d want to be forgotten is no better,” and “Most of us can’t help but live as though we’ve got two lives to live, one is the mockup, the other the finished version, and then there are all those versions in between.”

During an interview ahead of the movie’s limited release in November ― it opened in wide release on Jan. 19, a few days before netting four Oscar nominations, including for best picture ― Stuhlbarg told me he delivered the monologue two different ways. His first take was more emotional, more impassioned; the second version, which Guadagnino “rightly” opted to use, was “a little more direct.”

On paper, the speech sounds very literary ― appropriate for an academic like Perlman who studies Greek antiquities, but still difficult for any actor to deliver with an organic cadence.

“You never know how a piece of text is going to live in you when you try to absorb it for all of its weight,” Stuhlbarg said. “I don’t think there was a conscious choice on my part for it to be any more or less professorial. I think the text does a lot of that for me, so maybe I was just concerned with it coming from a true place, and that he was choosing his words carefully. In another actor’s mouth, it would be different. ... I think the language speaks for itself. I tried to let it live in me over the course of the five or so weeks that we had, because we shot the movie in chronological order. [I wanted] to let it resonate with me that way I thought it could be said.”

Throughout the scene, the camera remains mostly trained on Stuhlbarg. He taps a cigarette on an ashtray perched on his lap and picks up a tumbler of whiskey to cut the silence between sentences. Sometimes he peers down, as if to reflect on his own youthful memories, but he largely holds Elio’s teary-eyed gaze. “Elio is dumbstruck as he tries to take all this in,” the screenplay notes, much like the novel’s first-person narration of the same sentiment: “I couldn’t begin to take all this in. I was dumbstruck,” Elio says.

“How you live your life is your business,” Perlman continues as the film’s gentle piano score kicks in. “Remember, our hearts and our bodies are given to us only once. And before you know it, your heart is worn out, and, as for your body, there comes a point when no one looks at it, much less wants to come near it. Right now there’s sorrow. Pain. Don’t kill it and with it the joy you’ve felt.”

A pause, Elio nodding as he absorbs the advice.

“We may never speak about this again,” his old man concludes. “But I hope you’ll never hold it against me that we did. I will have been a terrible father if, one day, you’d want to speak to me and felt that the door was shut, or not sufficiently open.”

In Stuhlbarg’s mouth, Perlman’s words are poetry ― vestiges of a weathered existence and guidance for a life not yet touched by the wisdom of adulthood.

The scene reflects Guadagnino’s intentions for the film. Before the shoot began, “we all sat around his dining room table and read the screenplay together,” Stuhlbarg said. “That was all the rehearsal that some of us had. [Guadagnino] said, ‘I want this to be a story of love and light and buoyancy and fun, to be reminiscent of those idyllic summers that, if we’re lucky, we have when we’re young. Our eyes are opened, and perhaps we fall in love for the first time in a deeper way.’ That idea infected the way we told the story, and it made it such a joyous experience in a way that I never would have expected it to be.”

Stuhlbarg, who appears in two other best picture contenders (“The Shape of Water” and “The Post”), didn’t receive the Oscar nomination he deserves, and “Call Me by Your Name” produced middling box-office returns in wide release despite the fawning praise it received.

Regardless, his closing scene is a master class in acting and writing. It’s what sets this apart from most gay stories, where characters are judged or punished (by parents, peers, spouses, mentors, bullies) for their sexuality. Indeed, every graceful pause in The Monologue is calibrated to capture the movie’s optimism. It’s both heartbreaking and uplifting.

“I love the story and was so grateful to be asked to participate in it,” Stuhlbarg said. “It does seem to be having a lot of resonance and relevance and to be moving people, which is all you can hope for, really, because you never know what’s going to happen when you make something. And in different hands it would be a different telling ― it would be a different story. I think Luca’s a master and has masterfully articulated the story he wanted to tell.”

Huffpost February 3, 2018

#cmbyn bts #cmbyn analysis #michael stuhlbarg

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