starting the year right with magic and imp :]

Is there the full list of brandersons favourite games reposted somewhere?

i dont think so? or not that ive seen. u can literally just sign up for the newsletter on his website but screw it ill just post them for u. it sure was a TRIP scrolling past these to get to the interlude though. undertale is on this list.....im shakign at the thought that adolin was based off ff10 tidus but i cant get it out of my head now

#10: Katamari Damaci

I love things that make me look at the world in a new way. Katamari did this in spades. It is an imaginative, bizarre vision with unique gameplay. It is like nothing else in the world and I love it for all its strangeness and occasional lack of gameplay polish.

I was transfixed the first time I played it, and have looked forward to it being remade and rereleased on multiple different consoles. I love the cute—and somehow creepy at the same time—storyline. It feels like a fever dream more than a game sometimes, and is probably the closest I’ll ever get to understanding what it’s like to do drugs.

#9: Undertale

This is an oddball on this list because I think it’s the only game that is not a franchise from a major studio—but is instead an indie game, which I believe was originally funded on Kickstarter.I loved how this felt like a novel as much as a game. It was one person’s vision; a single story told really well, with a huge amount of personality. The humor was just my kind of wonderful/terrible, and I was instantly enamored with the characters.That probably would have been enough, but it is a nice deconstruction of video games as a medium—and has not one, but multiple innovative gameplay mechanics. Together, the package left me enamored. This is a work of genius that I feel everyone should at least try, even if it ends up not being for them.

#8: Fallout: New Vegas

I have played all of the core Fallout games, and I was one of the (it seems few) who was really excited when it moved from turn-based tactics to first-person shooter. While Fallout 3 was good, it didn’t have the charm of the first two.New Vegas delivered on everything I was hoping to see. The charm was back, the writing sharp, the quests imaginative. The gameplay was engaging and branched in a variety of directions, the gunplay was solid, and the atmosphere immersive. I of course love the first two games in the series—but New Vegas combines everything I like in gaming into one package. (As a note, I own the Outer Worlds, and am looking forward to digging into it. Consider this item on the list a recommendation of other Obsidian games—like Knights of the Old Republic Two—regardless of genre, as I’ve found them universally to be superior to their contemporaries.)

#7 Super Mario World

When I was eleven, I flew (alone, which was very exciting to me) from Nebraska to visit my uncle Devon in Salt Lake City. Before I left, my father gave me $200 and told me to pay for my own meals while on the trip—but of course, my uncle didn’t allow this. At the end of the trip, I tried to give him the money, which he wouldn’t take.I mentioned my dad would take the money back when I got home, but that was okay. Well, my uncle would have none of that, and drove me to the local mall and made me spend it on a Nintendo Entertainment System. (This uncle, you might guess, is an awesome human being.)Since that day of first plugging it in and experiencing Mario for the first time, I was hooked. This is the only platformer on the list, as I don’t love those. But one makes an exception for Mario. There’s just so much polish, so much elegance to the control schemes, that even a guy who prefers an FPS or an RPG like me has to admit these are great games. I picked World as my favorite as it’s the one I’ve gone back to and played the most.

#7: The Curse of Monkey Island (Monkey Island 3)

I kind of miss the golden age of adventure gaming, and I don’t know that anyone ever got it as right as they did with this game. It is the pinnacle of the genre, in my opinion—no offense to Grim Fandango fans.This game came out right before gaming’s awkward teenage phase where everything moved to 3-d polygons. For a while after, games looked pretty bad, though they could do more because of the swap. But if you want to go see what life was like before that change, play Monkey Island 3. Composed of beautiful art pieces that look like cells from Disney movies, with streamlined controls (the genre had come a long way from “Get yon torch”) and fantastic voice acting, this game still plays really well.This is one of the few games I’ve been able to get my non-gamer wife to play through with me, and it worked really well as a co-op game with the two of us trying to talk through problems. It’s a lovingly crafted time capsule of a previous era of gaming, and if you missed it, it’s really worth trying all these years later. (The first and second games hold up surprisingly well too, as a note, particularly with the redone art that came out a decade or so ago.)Also, again, this one has my kind of humor.

#6: Breath of the Wild

I never thought a Zelda game would unseat A Link to the Past as my favorite Zelda, but Breath of the Wild managed it. It combined the magic of classic gameplay with modern design aesthetic, and I loved this game.There’s not a lot to say about it that others haven’t said before, but I particularly liked how it took the elements of the previous games in the series (giving you specific tools to beat specific challenges) and let you have them all at once. I like how the dungeons became little mini puzzles to beat, instead of (sometimes seemingly endless) slogs to get through. I liked the exploration, the fluidity of the controls, and the use of a non-linear narrative in flashbacks. It’s worth buying a Switch just to play this one and Mario—but in case you want, you can also play Dark Souls on Switch... (That’s foreshadowing.)

#5: Halo 2

Telling stories about Halo Two on stream is what made me think of writing this list.I’m sometimes surprised that this game isn’t talked about as much as I think it should be. Granted, the franchise is very popular—but people tend to love either Reach or games 1 or 3 more than two. Two, however, is the only one I ever wanted to replay—and I’ve done so three or four times at this point. (It’s also the only one I ever beat on Legendary.)It’s made me think on why I love this one, while so many others seem to just consider it one of many in a strong—but in many ways unexceptional—series of games. I think part of this is because I focus primarily on the single-player aspects of a game (which is why there aren’t any MMOs on this list.) Others prefer Halo games with more balanced/polished multiplayer. But I like to game by myself, and don’t really look for a multiplayer experience. (Though this is changing as I game with my sons more and more.)I really like good writing—which I suppose you’d expect. But in games, I specifically prefer writing that enhances the style of game I’m playing. Just dumping a bunch of story on me isn’t enough; it has to be suited to the gameplay and the feel of the game. In that context, I’ve rarely encountered writing as good as Halo 2. From the opening—with the intercutting and juxtaposition of the two narratives—to the quotes barked out by the marines, the writing in this game is great. It stands out starkly against other Halo games, to the point that I wonder what the difference is.Yes, Halo Two is a bombastic hero fantasy about a super soldier stomping aliens. But it has subtle, yet powerful worldbuilding sprinkled all through it—and the music...it does things with the story that I envy. It’s kind of cheating that games and films get to have powerful scores to help with mood.The guns in Two feel so much better than Halo One, and the vehicles drive far better. The only complaint I have is that it’s only half a story—as in, Halo 2 and 3 seem like they were one game broken in two pieces. And while 3 is good (and Reach does something different, which I approve of in general) neither did it for me the way Two did, and continues to do.

#3: Final Fantasy X

You probably knew Final Fantasy was coming. People often ask if the way these games handle magic was an influence upon me. All I can say is that I’ve played them since the first one, and so they’re bound to have had an influence.On one hand, these games are really strange. I mean, I don’t think we gamers stop quite often enough to note how downright bizarre this series gets. Final Fantasy doesn’t always make the most sense—but the games are always ambitious.Ten is my favorite for a couple of reasons. I felt like the worldbuilding was among the strongest, and I really connected with the characters. That’s strange, because this is one of the FF games without an angst-filled teen as the protagonist. Instead, it has a kind of stable happy-go-lucky jock as the protagonist.But that’s what I needed, right then. A game that didn’t give me the same old protagonist, but instead gave me someone new and showed me I could bond to them just as well. Ten was the first with full voice acting, and that jump added a lot for me. It has my favorite music of the series, and all together is what I consider the perfect final fantasy game. (Though admittedly, I find it more and more difficult to get into turn-based battle mechanics as I grow older.)

#2: Bloodborne

Those who follow my streams, or who read other interviews I’ve done, probably expected this series to be at or near the top. The question wasn’t whether Souls would be here, but which one to pick as my favorite.I went with Bloodborne, though it could have been any of them. (Even Dark Souls 2—which I really like, despite its reputation in the fandom.) I’ve been following FromSoftware’s games since the King’s Field games, and Demon’s Souls was a huge triumph—with the director Hidetaka Miyazaki deserving much of the praise for its design, and Dark Souls (which is really just a more polished version of Demon’s Souls).As I am a fan of cosmic horror, Bloodborne is probably my favorite overall. It really hit the mix of cosmic and gothic horror perfectly. It forced me to change up my gameplay from the other Souls games, and I loved the beautiful visuals.I am a fan of hard games—but I like hard games that are what I consider “fair.” (For example, I don’t love those impossible fan-made Mario levels, or many of the super-crazy “bullet hell”-style games.) Dark Souls is a different kind of hard. Difficult like a stern instructor, expecting you to learn—but giving you the tools to do so. It presents a challenge, rather than being hard just to be hard.If I have a problem with Final Fantasy, it’s that the games sometimes feel like the gameplay is an afterthought to telling the story. But in the Souls games, story and gameplay are intermixed in a way I’d never seen done before. You have to construct the story like an archeologist, using dialogue and lore from descriptions of in-game objects. I find this fascinating; the series tells stories in a way a book never could. I’m always glad when a game series can show off the specific strengths of the medium.In fact, this series would be #1 except for the little fact that I have way too much time on Steam logged playing...

#1: Civilization VI

This series had to take #1 by sheer weight of gameplay time. I discovered the first on a friend’s computer in the dorms my freshman year—and I can still remember the feeling of the birds chirping outside, realizing I’d been playing all night and really should get back to my own dorm room.That still happens, and has happened, with every game in the series. I have a lot of thoughts on this series, many of them granular and too specific for this list. (Like, it’s obvious AI technology isn’t up to the task of playing a game this complex—so could we instead get a roguelike set of modifiers, game modes, etc. to liven up the games, rather than just having a difficulty slider that changes a few simple aspects of the game?)I’ll try not to rant, because I really do love this game series. A lot of people consider IV to be the pinnacle of the series, but after V unstacked units—and VI unstacked cities—there was no way I could ever go back. If for some reason, you’ve never played this grand patriarch of the 4X game genre, it’s about starting with a single stone-age settler who can found a city—then playing through eras of a civilization, growing your empire, to try to eventually get offworld with a space program. (Or, if you prefer, conquering the world.)It’s a load of fun in the way I like to have fun, and I feel like the series has only gotten better over the years. My hat is off to the developers, who keep reinventing the series, rather than making the exact same game over and over.Now, about that request for difficulty modes...

there are runner ups but for the sake of anyone whos on mobile and cant get past a read more (first of all omg im SO sorry) ill refrain. anyway he thought WHAT loz game was the best before botw?

YUE!!!! yue yue yue

LETS SEE IF I CAN TRANSFER MY DRAFT TO ASK ON MOBILE W/O MESSING UP FORMATTING HORRIFICALLY WOOOOOO

YUEEEEE AN ASK AFTER MY OWN HEART <33 this is, again, super long AND YET NOT THE FULL EXTENT OF MY YUE THOUGHTS, PROBABLY??? this is a fave from a decade back or so this runs DEEP. Why I like them:

yue has just been a lifelong fave tbh. a beautiful and serious anime boy???? AND he’s the moon????? superficials aside, i am always really drawn to characters who struggle with being overly loyal to a sense of authority and deal with figuring out they’re allowed to have individual wants and needs. yue is incredibly ride or die and nearly everyone’s like....maybe don’t die actually!!! and yue says [there was a manga cap here of touya asking yue to take care of himself and yue going >:///.....alright]

it is also really funny how he immediately goes from I WILL KILL YOU to extremely protective i-am-your-angel-dad, both to watch, and to see new friends get into ccs and hear the hype about yue and go oh i cant wait to see your favori-AAAHHH HE PUNCHED TWO TEN YEAR OLDS WHATTT.

Why I don’t:

gotta say it, his clear card hit-fakeout was kinda weird, good thing i have rewritten that scene and can just refer to my personal-writing-folder discord server when need be,

Favorite episode (scene if movie):

JUDGEMEEENNNTTTT AND ALSO THE STUCK IN BIG FORMS EP AAAAHHHHH . episodes ive watched a billion times. when i was a kid i liked judgement bc i was like HES SO COOOL AND MEEEAN YESSS DEFEAT SAKURA WITH HER OWN MAGIC GO GO and now im like HE IS CARRYING OUT A USELESS CEREMONY AND FIGHTING A FIGHT HE CANNOT WIN TO MAKE EVERYONE FEEL LIKE THEY HAVE A CHOICE WHEN SAKURA’S BEEN CHOSEN FROM THE START WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. and to top it ALL off sakura telling him she wants to be his friend and him not taking her offered hand? OUCHH... ;w; big forms ep is HILLARIOUS bc its soooooo AWKWARD. the awkwardness of being at someone else’s house... trying to talk to your host when the ONLY topics you have in common are “i know a few things about your dead crush” and “my other self is YOUR crush”. sakura telling him that her dad insists love can last through reincarnation and eriol specifically being like “give up on clow because he’s dead” later, and he’s spying on this whole ep so he must be rolling around laughing right then. the fact that neither of these couples is healthy whatsoever but everyone’s working with what they have to try and lessen the awkward, and oh no its worse now. kero picking up on the clowtime pattern of “i have to do all the work around here” but honestly its just that it’s kero’s house and yue’s awkwardly hovering and sakura really really doesnt wanna make her intimidating guest do stuff. WHICH IS UNDERSTANDABLE BC ITS SUPER AWKWARD. yue then cleaning the entire kitchen while sakura is cleaning off kero. 10/10 episode.

Favorite season/movie:

sakura card arc!

Favorite line:

when he shows up at sakura’s house and and sakura’s like :0 and hes like get used to it.

Favorite outfit:

the one from that pic i have in my about where he has this light blue hair wrap aaahhhh

OTP:

YUEKITOUYAAAAAAAAAAAA. yukito and touya dating happily and then yue a few years later like OH. I ALSO LOVE HIM. yukito being super supportive and happy of it. yue and touya both feeling like “whats an amazing guy like him doing with someone like me...”. yue going in thinking oh i know what love is and touya raising the bar constantly. its good!!

Brotp:

him and yukito!! two people waking up in their situation scared and upset and stuck together, making the most of it as only they can. i think a lot of them both being like “noooo i want YOU to be happy and comfortable” and trying to do little things for the other when each is taking their turn being active. yue making yukito tea and getting him out of bed when he neeeds to wake up but just feels sluggish, yukito buying little moon decorations for the house he thinks yue would like....aaahhh yukito getting glow in the dark star stickers omg...realizing that there’s no one they’d rather share a life with like that. i think yukito’s the sort of person who doesn’t like to appear uncertain and takes his time being sure before communicating, and theres a sense of pride on yue’s part that he’s the only person, often not even touya, who gets to hear yukito put his thoughts together and be that sort of sounding board. yukito “growing up” in a big “often”-empty house i think leads to him talking to the air a lot, and now that’s yue!!

him and sakura, too!! slowly taking her up on her offer of friendship!! there’s an amazing bit soon after judgement where just her asking frantically if he’s okay??? if he’s SURE he’s okay???? after getting hurt protecting her makes him stop and stare....the switch flipped he is her dad now. i want him to feel like he can talk to her, especially about the Before Times, weigh the things he thinks are too heavy for a child against the things he wants to be heard, maybe see her face and be like oh boy i got it wrong sometimes. and also the knowledge that this is a friendship they chose for themselves!! that they were Predicted to mean different things to each other, but it would be something inappropriate and draining and a cruelty to carry out. this is an unpaved road!! if i keep going on and on i will go on all day but HIM AND KERO!!! HIM AND THE CARDS!!!! HIM AND LI, AND TOMOYO, AND oh just let him be surrounded by friends!!!!

Head Canon:

extremely touchy. like the first thing he did when he showed up for judgement was grab sakura’s face and i think thats just how he is. i think nobody in the clowsehold had any awareness of personal space and yue got so steeped in it that he is just like that now. big on affectionate hair ruffles esp with the kids and putting-an-arm-around-people that he’s barely aware of. it makes yukito a little sad to know that he and yue can never really connect like that but if he hugs himself yue will feel it so it works out!!

Unpopular opinion:

(gets up on stage) clowyue!! (half the crowd boos half the crowd cheers) was HORRIBLE (the cheering/booing crowd halves switch confusedly) essentially i really like to think about the wreckage and then healing from the sort of toxic imbalanced ambiguously requited never-labeled faux-relationship feelings-yoyo i imagine it to have been. but that means i need to acknowledge it happened. unfortunately most people who make ship content do so because they like it, and most people who dont make ship content do so because they dislike it. can you believe it?

A wish:

go to therapy please

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen:

DO NOT SEPARATE THEM

5 words to best describe them:

ok he looks very polite

My nickname for them:

moonboy...

All Hell Breaks Loose Part One- Part 1

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,966

Warnings: Typical Supernatural violence, language, angst, minor character death, blood, you know the usual

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. If you’re a junkie for this sort of thing, then a tag list is the right thing for you! If you want to be a Queen, I’ll add you to that list too! Any and all comments on these are appreciated. I really want to hear what you guys think about this one!

AHHHH This season is almost done!!!!! Just ONE more episode left! If you’ve been catching along with this series, this and the next episodes is what I wan to hear your thoughts on!

Feedback is the glue that holds my writing together.

Tags at the bottom

“So, we had kids?” You asked Dean from the backseat.

“Yeah. You said you would stop bringing it up.” Dean said as he drove into a random town to get some food.

“Sorry, I know I said that but Dean, you have to be honest with me, okay?” You said, being very serious.

“What is it, Y/N?” Dean asked with a sigh, parking the car. Sam chuckled and looked over at you and Dean with an amused smile.

“Was I still hot? Did having two kids ruin my body?” You asked, biting your lip.

“Oh, sweetheart, it was hard for me not to keep my hands off you.”

“And I’m out.” Sam said, taking the money from Dean’s hand before getting out of the car.

“Hey, don’t forget the extra onions this time, huh?” Dean said, making Sam roll his eyes.

“Sam, make them forget. We’re going to have to be the ones to ride with your extra onions.” You said, disgusted but Dean just smirked. Sam was about to leave again but Dean stopped him.

“Hey, see if they got pie. Bring me some pie!” Sam huffed out in annoyance and left, walking into the café. “I love me some pie.”

“I know you do. So, you couldn’t keep your hands off me, huh?” You asked with a grin, sliding closer to him from the backseat. He smirked and nodded, leaning in to kiss you but the radio on his car started to static, eventually turning off.

Dean sighed and leaned to the radio, messing with it to get it to turn back on but when he looked back at you, you were gone. You and Sam were gone and the lively town he drove into, was now an empty nest, full of the smell of death and sulfur.

You gasped as you woke up, looking around to where you were. You didn’t know how you got here or why you were or what even here was. You scrambled to get up, looking around the small room you were in. The windows were mostly boarded up but that didn’t stop light from peering inside through the slits.

You walked to the window, looking outside to see if you knew where you were or if Sam and Dean were okay. You couldn’t see much and started panicking. You took your phone out of your back pocket, going to dial Dean but frowned when you didn’t have service.

“Sam!!!! Dean!!!!” You yelled, hoping that you were close enough to hear you. You didn’t know if they were hurt or worse. You tried not to think about that as you figured out a way to get out. You walked to the door and mentally slapped yourself for not trying that first.

You pushed the door but it wouldn’t budge, so you tried to pull on it and it didn’t even budge. You knew that it swung outward and it felt as if something was keeping it from being opened. So, how the hell did you get in here if every exit was boarded up?

You sighed, looking around the room, wondering if you could use anything in here to break the board but found nothing. You looking at your hands and immediately, the light bulb went off in your head. You walked to the door and took a deep breath, closing your eyes.

You concentrated on bringing the powers you knew where there but never used. In all honesty, they scared the shit out of you. You knew, that with practice, they would become very powerful, making hunting a lot easier but a, you never had the time to practice them and b, you didn’t know what would happen if something went out of hand.

You remembered, almost a year ago, you lost control of them but that was when Dean was on his death bed after the crash. You could still remember that day as if it was yesterday and every time you thought about it, it made your heart heavy and your bones shake.

You tried to shake the images out of your head but once they were there, they were there and without anyone here to stop you, you had trouble making them go away on your own. With each image that passed by, you started to shake more and when you shook, you could feel the magic inside you, bubble up.

You tried to keep your cry of pain quiet and you shot your hands forward, pushing out every single ounce of magic through your hands and into the door. It was a weak door and broke easily under the pressure. You gasped and opened your eyes, not realizing you were crying.

You saw the door half broken, a big enough hole for you to get through. You wiped your eyes, pulling yourself together before exiting the small room. You frowned, taking in your surroundings. You were in an abandoned town that looked as if it hadn’t been in use for decades.

You looked around, seeing no one here.

“Sam!! Dean!!” You yelled out, hoping one of the brothers or both of them would come to your aid. When no one was seen or heard, you sighed, realizing you were on your own now. You walked through the town, occasionally looking through the windows of the stores to see if anyone was in there.

There wasn’t.

You didn’t have the time, your phone didn’t have any service and you had no idea where you were. Things were working out great, if anyone was wondering. You hoped Sam was okay. You knew Dean was at least alive because if he was dead, you probably would feel it.

Lately, or at least, ever since you started dating, you felt like you two were connected on a deeper level. You could sometimes feel what he was feeling and you knew when he was lying. You had no idea what it was but you knew he wasn’t dead which was a good thing. But you didn’t know if he was okay or not.

You rounded a corner, gasping when you saw a group of people, maybe 4 or 5, talking and freaking out. You didn’t know who they were but you were glad to see people. You just hoped there were no monsters here since you didn’t have any kind of weapons with you.

However, as you got closer, you recognized the tallest one there.

“Sam!” You yelled, running towards him. He turned around and his eyes widened, smiling in relief when he saw you. When you got to him, you wrapped your arms around him, hugging him tightly.

“I’m so glad you’re okay!” Sam said, releasing you after a few moments. You smiled up at him but before you could say anything, a black man came into your view and wrapped his hand around your throat. You gasped and your eyes widened, scratching at his hand to get him to let go.

“Hey!!” Sam said, prying his hand off your throat, before shoving him away. Sam put you behind him as you coughed, trying to get your breath back.

“What the hell, man?” You coughed, glaring at him. You didn’t like him at all. When you stood up straight, you saw the other 4 people staring at you with their eyes narrowed.

“What the hell was that, Jake?” Sam asked, angry.

“She needs to die.” He said, getting ready to go again. You rolled your eyes, not this again.

“Why does she need to die?” Sam asked, protecting you.

“The yellow-eyed man told us to. She can’t be alive and he ordered one of us to kill her. Now, move.” The brown-haired woman said.

“Ava, no, you’re not killing her. No one is killing her.” Sam said.

“Wait, that’s Ava?” You asked, looking at her.

“How do you know me?” She asked, confused.

“Sam, his brother and I spent weeks looking for you.” You said, worried what they might do to you.

“Well, you found me.” She said.

“Look, guys, no one is killing her, okay? Lily don’t you dare touch her.” Sam said.

“No promises.” The blonde woman said with an eye roll.

“What happens if she touches me?” You asked Sam.

“Your heart will stop beating. It happens when I touch someone.” Lily answered for Sam.

“It won’t work on me, anyways, remember Sam? Andy’s mind control didn’t work on me and neither did his brother’s. She won’t hurt me that way.” You said, relaxing a bit.

“What do you mean it won’t work on you?” The man who tried to kill you asked.

“Wait, more importantly, where did you come from?” Sam asked, turning around to look at you.

“I don’t know. One moment I’m with Dean in the car and the next, I wake up in some dusty room someone in this town. Where’s Dean? There’s no service.” You said, relaxing a bit when you saw the others back up a bit.

“I don’t know where he is.” Sam said, scared of what might have happened to him.

“Don’t worry, he’s not dead. I would feel it if he had.” You said, seeing the relief on his face.

“So, what is this place? Do you think it has anything to do with the demon?” You asked Sam.

“Wait, demon? Sam, I was a little on board with the whole psychic and mind bending thing but demons? Come on.” Ava said, scoffing.

“Look, I know it sounds crazy…”

“It doesn’t just sound it.” The man who tried to kill you said.

“Look, Jake, I don’t really care what you think, okay? If we’re all gathered here together, then that means it’s starting and that we have to get ready.” Sam said, talking about the war the yellow-eyed demon mentioned about. The war that you were messing up because you were alive.

“The only thing I’ve gotta do, is stay away from wackjobs, okay? I’ve heard enough. I’m better off on my own. FYI, so are you.” Jake said, turning around and walking away from the group.

“Wait! Jake!” Sam tried. Jake ignored him and continued walking until he disappeared from sight.

“Great, now what?” You asked. You were fine around Andy because you worked with him before but you didn’t know Ava all that well and you didn’t know Lily at all. You were going to be sticking with Sam and if Sam is somehow gone, then with Andy.

He didn’t seem like a threat before.

Suddenly, you heard a screeching noise and you looked at Sam who was already rushing to the source of the noise. You didn’t want to be caught with anyone else so you took off, catching up to Sam easily. You followed him into a building, seeing a little girl.

But she wasn’t any normal little girl. Her face was contorted into something ugly and her nails were outstretched, much like a tentacle. Jake, never have seen a demon before, was scared of what was going on. But Sam was quicker than most and grabbed an iron poker that he spotted by the door.

He swung at the girl, expecting her to dissolve, much like a spirit would. She did dissolve but not in the way you’d expect. Instead of disappearing, a cloud of black smoke was all that was left, exiting what looked to be a classroom of sorts.

Jake was staring at Sam with wide eyes and Sam threw the poker down, jerking his head to the side to move his hair out of his eyes.

“Just so you know, that was a demon.” Sam left the classroom and you followed quickly, walking ahead of him. You thought it would be best to put Sam in between you and the people who wanted to kill you.

The Queens:

@maddieburcham1 @ginamsmith @mogaruke @whit85-blog @inlovewithbja @spn67-sister @kdfrqqg @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @roxyspearing @supercalifragilistic26 @mishamigose @cobrakai1967 @essie1876 @wishedworld @crispychrissy @laqueus-ludovicus @nostalgic-uncertainty @jerk-bitch-and-an-angel @potterhead1265 @starswirlblitz  @untitled39887 @ta-n-ja @deans-fallen-angel-boy @scarletluvscas @notnaturalanahi @tahbehonest @stay-in--place @dreaminofdean @posiemax @donnaintx @mikey1822 @alexandriajanae4  @li-ssu @just-another-winchester @obsessivecompulsivespn @emoryhemsworth @newtospnfandom @mizzezm  @goldenolaf25 @jessikared97 @wh1sp3r1ng-impala @charliebradbury1104    @queen-of-moons-peace-out-bitches @becs-bunker  @atc74 @lemonchapstick 

The Dean Beans:

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many highlights from The Stolen Century from a first-time TAZ listener (here there be spoilers)

oh hot damn a flashbacks episode!!!!!

“everything begins, and i mean that quite literally, with the light of creation”

the IPRE has some real nostalgic space exploration nasa vibes to it

travis: “i would like to state that, canonically, magnus calls him “cap’nport” because magnus, like I, loves portmanteau”

suggested names for the ship boat thing: boaty mcboatface, spinnaker (which just means boat), stinky spinnaker, laser spinnaker, hyper spinnaker, flying boat, tail spinnaker, fighting spinnaker, lightbringer, sky spinnaker, sky boat, sky weaver, star dancer, starblaster! the winner! starblaster!

the way they arrived at “starblaster” was such peak mcelroy Creative Nonsense

the reporters at this IPRE press conference have had increasingly silly names

justin: “taako and lup go to a bar and do what they always do at a bar, which is hustle people at pool” i love them so much! i didn’t love taako all that much for the majority of this story but now i think he’s cool as shit

I’m so SO SO SO SO SO EXCITED for lup to be a part of this and be a real character and not just a fucking GHOST haunting taako’s umbrella

magnus wants to go train with the bear of power and that’s the most on-brand thing for him to possibly want to do

travis: “magnus doesn’t kill animals if he can help it” not animals, but of course he has no problem killing dwarves, elves, liches, wizards, ya know, all those PEOPLE he’s killed

justin: “taako and lup are gonzo, they're out of here" magnus: “i’m like checking on bear cubs and making sure everyone's okay" merle: “im like increasing everybody’s speed with spells’ very on brand of everybody here

travis: “okay griffin i have a very important question that i should have asked before-” griffin: “is about your fucking hard candy supply?”

the entire set up of this arc is so fun and good 

justin: “yeah i've got a fucking genius plan and I'm gonna fix everything! come close, griffin, because I'm about to blow your game wide open. I’m going to make a fake light of creation. I’m gonna spend this year like a survivor contestant on their last legs, crafting a false hidden immunity idol. I’m going to craft, to the best of my ability, a fake light of creation. a decoy, if you will!” THIS IS GENIUS

taako: “okay, that’s all well and good but lup and i are going scrapping. this is the most civilized- this is the most technologically advanced place that we’ve been to yet, and I wanna load the ship up with all the valuable mechanical components I can find, so I’m going fucking looting, I’m gonna destroy as many robots as it takes, I’m gonna take these motherfuckers apart piecemeal, so I can take whatever cool magic is powering them. I’m going to loot this motherfucker to brass tacks, I’m gonna just loot and pillage” merle: “burnt earth” taako: “yes exactly”

lup: “i believe one of these times we’re going to get this right. and we’re going to find a way to defeat the hunger and save everybody inside of it. I have to believe that to keep doing what we do, becasue I have to believe that I’m going to get those 15 dollars back from greg fucking grimmaldis” lup is as cool and funny and DOPE as I was hoping she would be

one of these eps, they just kicked it on a beach for 35 minutes and were shitheads about merle’s attempt at gifts. the literal goddamn definition of a bottle episode. im only like 75% sure davenport was even in this fucking episode

travis has named magnus’s fish, magnus’s father-in-law, a rando reporter at the IPRE press conference, and a kid at one of the stolen century planets “steven”. all of those people/fish are called steven, because apparently travis has a thing for that name

clint just called lucretia “lucinda”

well now i understand why merle’s died 50 million times

taako: “i got bad news for everybody. our arch-nemesis is MORRISSEY”

magnus gets excited to learn to carve wood bc its something he could do with knives and weapons and shit and im like oh THATS the most magnus thing he could possibly do!!!

hey cool so barry and lup’s adorable love OWNS MY ASS

that was the sweetest falling-in-love story ive ever heard and it was like 5 fucking minutes. @ fanfiction writers throw all your barry/lup friends-to-lovers fics directly at my head PLEASE

davenport: “lup can you blow it up?" lup: "can i...blow up a mountain?....well, YEAH! but lets save that for a last resort" the legato conservatory person: “i'm going to firmly request that you don’t blow up our sacred mountain”

taako: “hey I’m taako, from TV” griffin: “uh okay-” justin: “what?” griffin: “you haven’t been on tv yet” clint: “it’s aspirational” justin: “yeah, its aspirational. hey I’m taako from TV. you’re all pretty wanged. you’re pretty fucked. there’s good news and bad news, and the bad news I’ve already covered, with the fucked-ness that you are”

jesus, shit got DARK

oh my god the voidfish that magnus saved in the stolen century is the same one on the bureau of balance base. that’s some heart-tingly shit. that’s that GOOD STORY SHIT

griffin: “your adventures in the back half of these cycles are more fraught than the first half” OH IM SORRY? MORE FRAUGHT??? REALLY, GRIFFY?

griffin’s judge character dude: "magnus, you have fought with others your entire life, throughout your adolescence you celebrated strife. i didn't mean to make that rhyme"

one of the future crimes accused of the IPRE crew is “cruelty to a child who loves them” and im like oh. maybe i shouldnt have wanted somebody to call them out on being mean to sweet ango

oh man i wanna hug lucretia so bad and take care of her and make sure she’s okay

griffin: “she wouldn’t go on to found the bureau of balance for decades, but this horrible lonely year, that’s when she became Madame Director” okay, yep, i love her, and i just remembered i was worried for SO LONG that she was hoarding the relics for her own gain and jesus christ IM SO SORRY I THOUGHT THAT, EVERYBODY, I REGRET IT SO BAD

magnus reading fisher the voidfish a story more like GREAT JOY AND HAPPINESS

justin: “taako like walks by [the voidfish] and you just hear him shout ‘give him the complete works of nathaniel hawthorne next!” griffin: “YOU FUCKING HATE THAT GUY!” justin: “fuck that guy” clint: “what do you have against nathaniel hawthorne???” justin: “he is the worst writer and everybody has to read him and it makes kids HATE reading” clint: “last of the mohicans???” justin: “thats- not him, thats james fenimore cooper” griffin: “BOO-YAH!!! [singing] take him toooo schoool” justin: “yall i know the name of TWO authors from that time period, and he did the ONE pull, that’s gonna sound so fucking smart” oh man maybe I really need to reevaluate my ranking of Favorite Mcelroys, justin just reached for the Deepest Cut To Make Me Love Him

magnus: “i don’t find anything useful in this library, so let that be a lesson, kids, you’ll never find anything useful reading books” yeah take that, you punk ass book jockeys

griffin: “I base it on just how much i like the scene, right? so take plus two bond” whoa what GRIFFY DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A SYSTEM FOR THIS SHIT?? HE’S JUST HANDING OUT BONDS AND ASSETS WILLY NILLY????

magnus: “oh, could i have been learning magic instead of feeding books to my buddy?” griffin: “your scene was really good though” magnus: “oh man i could have become a wizard” yeah and break the continuity of THE ENTIRE GODDAMN SHOW

this Lup and Taako’s Greatest Day chaotic destruction is the most fun shit that’s happened in this show

taako: “I pull off her blindfold to reveal this planet’s ONLY DMV. there’s one DMV on the entire planet” this planet has no people and no animals and no living anything besides the 7 ipre crew and yet there’s a DMV leftover from whatever civilization used to be here. UH UH UH SURE JUSTIN

jesus christ i can’t believe lup’s lich form dabbed in the goddamn middle of this ritual

travis: “griffin, i know this wasn't in the instructions you sent us, but I want to make a lightsaber, can I do that?" griffin: "absolutely not!"

the KrebStar is a dope name

griffin: "so like a lotta bear stuff, then, huh?" travis: "look im leaning into it"

travis: “I’m going to name the helmet BearFace- ya know, naming stuff isn’t magnus’s strong suit- and I’m going to call the pendant 2th Necklace”

griffin: “and she’s holding an umbrella” justin: “fuck you” THIS MOMENT IS SOOO GOOD

justin: "I think i speak for the rest of us, and like the entire audience, when i say I cannot wait to see what these fucking 7 items are"

“that was the last conversation you had with your sister” hey griffin. fuck you

“not all exits are equal” HEY GRIFFIN. REALLY REALLY FUCK YOU

oh man lucretia. i can’t believe you did that to everybody. man that’s. that’s rough

this is heartbreaking holy shit. barry begging his bestfriend TO KILL HIM so he won’t forget the love of his life is SOME GUTWRENCHING SHIT HOLY SHIT

this is a really amazing story and I’m so impressed with the way it evolved from a goofy mcelroy joke podcast into such an amazing compelling story

A Four Night Stay At Hotel UCLA

It’s been almost three weeks since I left the hospital, and 23 days since the surgery that I had been trying to make happen for half a decade now. I probably should have written this the day I got out, but there wasn’t much else I wanted to do except go home and hope the painkillers worked their magic. But, I want to make sure that I write this down before the memories of my experience fades too much to be easily written about.

The morning of the surgery, I was already awake when my alarm went off to signal that it was 5:00 AM. It wasn’t exactly anxiety that I was feeling, more like a sense of readiness, that finally, I could get this over with. That feeling persisted through the traffic-filled drive into Los Ángeles, through the two-hour wait in the hospital lobby, until, as my parents and I were lead by a nurse into a small room cordoned off by a curtain and filled by a single hospital bed, the anxiety of the coming procedure started to set in. I changed from my clothes into the hospital gown, and was asked to lie down on the bed.

The nurse explained the preparation I would undergo for the procedure. An IV (the first of several) was inserted into my left arm. Next, my “pain team”, the group of doctors responsible for my anesthesia came in and explained how I would be put under for the duration. The lead doctor (whose name also happened to be Matt) had me swing my legs over the side of the bed and sit up as they inserted the epidural catheter into my back, which would inject a combination of narcotic and generic painkillers directly into the nerves of my spine. An effective technique, but one that sounded scary as hell to me. Luckily, the pain was surprisingly minimal. Finally, I was ready. The nurses wheeled my bed out of the room, my parents kissed me on the head and made sure I knew how much they loved me. I could do nothing from there except look up at the overhead lights as I passed under them one by one. As I entered the operating room, I couldn’t really see any tools or cutlery that they’d use to slice me open, I could only take note of the several massive spotlights that hung overhead. They put a breathing mask over my face, and several seconds later I didn’t remember anything at all.

I woke up a few hours later. There was one more IV than I had gone under with, this one on my right arm. I then realized I also had a urinal catheter. With that realization came a sense of gratitude that I wasn’t awake for that particular catheter’s insertion. My parents were already in the room with me when I awoke. My hospital room was much more spacious than the room I changed clothes in. I couldn’t tell what floor I was on, but I had a large window to the outside, and a futon couch in case one of my visitors wanted to spend the night. I could tell they were glad I was awake, but I was really more curious about what my chest looked like. I could still only barely move my arms, but I managed to lift up my gown and look down. The dent was gone. It felt unreal. After all this time, I simply wake up and it’s gone? In its place of course were a series of sutures, bandages, and leads connected to cardiac monitor. But even still, it was gone. I was on the other side of this condition, finally. I would have laughed or celebrated, but my breathing was still very limited. I was just grateful that there was little pain to worry about; the epidural catheter was doing its job. And even when the discomfort did return, I had a yellow handle with a button on top that would give me a bonus dose of the secondary painkiller being filtered through my epidural. Eventually, after making sure that I was okay and not panicking or dying, my parents left for the night, promising to come back the next day. And so began the first night.

My first dinner after the procedure wasn’t exactly substantial. I was kept on a liquid diet for the first night, my main course being a bowl of chicken broth, and a desert of Jell-O. I don’t remember being annoyed, because I felt that the more I stuck to the script my doctors had laid out for me, the quicker I would be out of the hospital. Besides, I had a television and a Nintendo Switch by my bed to keep me occupied. What I really wanted to do by the time night rolled around though, was sleep. Unfortunately, there was a problem with that, one that I frankly hadn’t expected: I had two monitors attached to my body, one measuring my breathing, and one measuring my heart rate. As I became more relaxed, both would beep warnings at me, thinking that I was in danger. The first one my nurses were happy to turn off, since my breathing was very obviously going to be shallow considering the procedure I just underwent. The cardiac monitor, however, was a bigger problem. My resting heart rate, it turns out, is quite healthily low. Too low, in fact. At first the standard was set to 60 beats per minute, but any time I would come even close to relaxing, the warnings would go off. My nurses lowered the standard to 45 beats per minute. Even still, this wasn’t enough. I’d lay my head back and close my eyes, and just when I could feel myself slipping into the relaxation of sleep, the incessant beeping would bring me back. I’d drum my fingers on my legs and kick up my breathing so it would stop. I called in my nurse, who couldn’t take the standard any lower. She called in the doctor who was on call for me that night, and he simply shook his head and apologized, saying that I had a very strong heart, and it was working against my favor this night. This back and forth between falling asleep and being told I was in danger went on for hours, and for a while I became sick of it and tried to just focus on playing video games or watching TV. Finally, at around 4 AM one of the nurses mercifully put the monitor on standby, and I was allowed to finally get a couple hours of sleep.

The next day, I was already progressing to solid foods. I was given a menu with dozens of meal selections, but despite my nurses’ insistence that the hospital cafeteria was good enough for them to eat at all the time, hospital food was still hospital food. Then again, I may have just been spoiled over the years by the quality of my mother’s cooking. In any case, I tried to eat what I could. Later that day, after my parents came and went, during a visit from some close friends of mine to check up on me and exchange jokes about there not being a gravitational singularity in my chest anymore, my pain team paid me another visit. They wanted to know how I was doing, and to inform me that they were removing the narcotic part of my epidural painkillers, and would start me on an oral regimen tomorrow. I said that was fine, not really understanding the problem. As my friends left, I began to realize: that narcotic was doing a LOT of heavy lifting towards managing my pain. Over the course of the next hour, I came to understand what it meant to have a stainless steel bar in your chest: it hurts like crap, man.

I called my nurse in and explained what I was feeling. She was very sympathetic, but ultimately couldn’t do anything. It was too soon for me to start the oral regimen of oxycodone, and I wasn’t authorized to have any other painkillers. The best I could do was count the minutes in between my next bonus dose of what remained of the epidural painkiller. The way I knew it was working was simple: two beeps as an affirmative, one beep as a negative. I’d lay back and try to simply deal with the pain, but it wasn’t something I could simply get used to. It came and went with each breath in and out, each time I shifted my body slightly. I couldn’t find an optimal position, I pushed the button on the side of my bed to incline and decline the bed, but every angle seemed worse than the last. Sitting straight up felt like a small, temporary reprieve, but I couldn’t support myself very long, and laying back down felt bad enough that it nearly wasn’t worth it. Every time I heard that singular beep when I pressed the button for the bonus dosage my frustration grew. I began to go from frustrated to despairing. I could feel a lump in my throat forming, I felt like crying simply from the physical pain, which hadn’t been something I’d done in years. It was right around then that my parents called to see how I was doing. I didn’t want to talk to them, because I knew that in my condition I’d do nothing but worry them. But if I didn’t answer, they’d probably worry more. So I answered, trying to manage the shakiness in my voice as best I could and utterly failing. My mom wanted to spend the night at the hospital, but I told her that there was nothing she could do, not mentioning that I didn’t really feel like spending the night crying in front of her. As they told me to hang in there and reiterated how much they loved me, I could feel that despair getting worse. After the conversation, I couldn’t really hold back anymore. I wanted to cry and yell and tell someone to stop this damn pain in my chest. But I couldn’t, because the more I lost control over my breathing, the more pain I felt. It was a self-feeding loop of suffering and the only way I could stop was to calm the hell down.

To the best of my abilities, I tried. I breathed as slowly and as deeply as my body would allow, which wasn’t very much. I barely managed to eat some more hospital-served dinner before settling in for one of the longest nights of my life. I tried to watch television to get my mind off it, but there was no show that could distract me long enough. I started trying to figure out exactly how much time there was between each bonus dosage. My experience that night was lived in those minutes between each dosage. Not that the bonus painkillers helped much, the reduction of pain was negligible But I didn’t let up in fear of even more severe pain. I’m not exactly sure when I finally fell asleep that night, but I was just grateful for being unconscious.

The next day, I woke up in pain. No surprise there, but I was glad I had at least made it into the daylight. Later that day, around noon, finally, finally, my pain team OK’d me for the oxycodone regimen, plus two regimens of prescription strength Tylenol and Ibuprofen. It didn’t eliminate my pain entirely, but compared to the night before it was like a damn miracle. I felt at least slightly more functional. My doctors informed me that I should try standing up by this point. Of course, in order to facilitate that, they removed my urinal catheter. I thought having it there in the first place felt weird, but having it removed felt even stranger. Even so, being able to stand under my own power was a welcome change of pace, even if I had to take each step carefully and laboriously. My nurse covered my IVs in a thin plastic sheet, and for the first time in three days, I could stand under some hot water and was the accumulated sweat and grease off my face. But the best part came after the shower: I could wear my own clothes again, not the gown the hospital provided me with, which felt like it was constantly on the verge of leaving me indecent. That fact alone made me feel better throughout the rest of the relatively uneventful day.

Sunday came and I thought that I was certainly going home. After all, I was making good progress, my epidural catheter was removed along with the IV in my right arm, and they had mentioned the hospital stay need only be 3-4 days. My parents had come and visited me around the same time that my doctor decided to drop by and see how I was doing. The conversation was going smoothly and I felt confident in being able to leave, until he mentioned a requirement that hadn’t happened yet: I had yet to have a bowel movement throughout my stay at the hospital, despite taking multiple stool softeners and laxatives. He recommended that I stay another night until it does happen. I couldn’t care less about whether or not I had yet to use the bathroom, but I needed my parents to back me up on that. Unfortunately, my mother was siding with my doctors on this one. She wanted to make sure I was completely ready to go home, and said it was perfectly fine if I stayed another night. I wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about the decision. Once the doctors took their leave I heavily implied my parents could also feel free to leave, and I think they realized I wasn’t very happy with how that meeting went. But they would have me annoyed than unable to take care of myself at home.

This was the last night I’d have to be at UCLA. Unfortunately, my objective for that night wasn’t very glamorous, even less so than usual. I had to poop. I’ve never dealt with constipation, so something like this being a problem was new for me. Turns out, it’s really damned annoying to deal with. I spent the entire night downing laxatives, prune juice, and taking walks around the ward, but nothing worked. By 1 am, my nurse told me to just go to sleep and try again in the morning. When morning rolled around, I had the tiniest of bowel movements, but because I was sitting there in the bathroom when my doctors came in, they assumed all was well. And with that, I was told that today was the day. I could finally go home. I began to put on the clothes I initially came to the hospital with as carefully as possible, trying not to upset the bar that I was well acquainted with already. I wanted to gather all my things like my laptop and book and Nintendo Switch to put in my bag, but my nurse refused to let me do all that work. Turns out, I’m not very good at being waited on hand and foot. I’m a person that likes to think of themselves as independent and competent, so having to ask others to do these things for me wasn’t something I was used to. Regardless, I’d have to deal with it over the coming weeks.

Finally, my mother arrived and I was able to leave the hospital, walking out under my own power. I was so incredibly grateful to be out of there, but I couldn’t help but feel indebted to the nurses and doctors who made my stay so much less hellish than it could have been. I’m not sure I learned any real life lessons while I was there, but I now had concrete evidence that the nurses and doctors in this hospital were some of the kindest, most selfless people I had ever met.

[GET] John Carlton – License to Steal Copywriting Seminar (4 DVDs, 1 Manual)

http://www.tradingprotoolsnews.com/2018/03/29/get-john-carlton-license-to-steal-copywriting-seminar-4-dvds-1-manual/

It's the last "lesson" on writing world-class copy you'll ever need... "How To Skip The Hard Part Of Writing Killer Sales Copy... And, Overnight, Put 5 Already-Written World-Class Wealth-Generating Ads To Work For You!" You can forget about all the agony of coming up with ideas, concepts or even power words... because I’ve already done most of the writing (and all of the thinking) FOR you! No matter where you are now in your business life (or where your writing skills are), I guarantee you will walk away from this lesson armed with the immediate skills to adapt 5 masterpiece ads you can use next week to start bringing in riches and fame beyond your most wicked dreams. Check this out, right now, if you’re finally ready to go screeching off on the wildest (and richest) ride of your life... John Carlton; Howdy... How about if I give you FIVE ADS you can run right away... that are front-loaded to work like crazy for you. Because they're already proven. 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I will reveal the sneaky psychological tactics hidden behind the all-important opening paragraphs -- the juicy details that KEEP the reader intensely interested -- so you will have no trouble at all redirecting each ad's "opening mojo" to your product. (Just like "plug n' play". Bang, a few changes, and you've got a killer opening to your ad! For most writers, this is the hardest part of the pitch to get right... and now, it's already done FOR you.) I will deconstruct the bullets, so it becomes obvious why they worked... and also obvious how you can ever-so-simply tweak each one to fit your business. (Having world-class bullets will force your prospect to desire your product so badly, he won't be able to sleep until he orders. You can finally overwhelm the reader -- just like the best writers in the biz -- with emotionally-dense snatches of copy that slips your sales pitch past his defenses and straight into his subconscious.) And... I will show you how to look for... and quickly find... your own peculiar HOOK to replace the one I used. It's right under your nose. (Understanding how to find -- and use -- the right hook is the difference between boring ads that pull nothing... and MONSTER winners that break the bank!) This is Operation MoneySuck at the highest level. You are about to take FULL ADVANTAGE of one of the best copywriters alive... and learn how to co-opt my best stuff. Here's what's going on: The first "just me and the audience" teaching seminar I ever gave was the "Copywriting Sweatshop" (which sold out in record time, by the way). I asked each attendee to bring an ad or letter they'd written... and at the event I tore those ads apart. In other words... I took essentially "bad" copy, and showed people how to begin reconstructing it and making it better. That approach worked very well to help many people get their heads straight on what was needed to begin making their copy work in the real world. I called my second teaching event the "License To Steal" seminar. And it was the OTHER HALF of that thinking. I took already-proven masterpiece ads... and tore them apart to reveal the inner workings. The "hidden" magic that makes them bring in the Big Bucks... and continue to bring in the bacon over and over again for years. In fact... to my mind, these "License To Steal" DVDs are MORE CRITICAL than the "Copywriting Sweatshop" DVDs are to your quest to learn how to write at a world-class level. It's how I got good. Right after I went solo as a freelancer, I spent an enormous amount of time and energy finding proven winning ads... and then tearing them apart to find out what made them so darn good. I did this with pieces by Gary Bencivenga, Jay Abraham, Gary Halbert, Jim Rutz, and every other "Hall of Fame" writer whose material I could get my hands on. I got extremely good at this tactic -- no other writer I've met has even come close to breaking the code on dissecting winners like this. I also received "insider" feedback from these writers on stuff I'd written -- the way the "Copywriting Sweatshop" was set up. BUT... the MOST help I got... was in de-constructing the killer already-proven letters of other writers. Which is exactly the way I set up the "License To Steal" seminar. Very simply... I Revealed The Secrets I Used MYSELF To Get Really, Really Good... Really, Really FAST! And guess what I had the seminar filmed and put on DVDs. And there are just a few sets of those DVDs here in my office. If you get back to me right now... You Can Check Em Out Without Risking A Penny! This is something you definitely want to do, if you're at ALL serious about your ability to use copy to bring in wealth. Now, I still believe the main appeal of this new seminar is that I have "blueprinted" for you 5 of my best ads, with permission to alter them to your own needs. However... even more important than those 5 "boilerplate" ads... are the skills I will reveal regarding tearing apart winning ads and figuring out how they work so well. It's like painting. You can slap water colors on a canvas, and have a great artist talk to you for hours on what you did wrong, and how to improve your brush stroke and whatever. That can help, a bit. BUT... you'll progress even faster, with better chops, if that same great artist shows you how a famous painting was done. How the details were achieved, and all the secrets and tricks behind the magic. The stuff you just cannot see by just looking at a winning ad. The deep, hidden stuff you need a guide to be able to comprehend. Like... How to ignite passion, with just a few well-chosen power words aimed right at the sweet spot of your prospect. (If you're like 99% of the people out there writing ads, you're trying to survive on "cold" appeals -- which lack emotion and any true connection to the reader. This murders results. I'll set you straight, right away and without fuss.) How to keep interest hot and intense throughout the pitch, so there's never a chance for the reader to disengage. (Most rookie writers fail at this, and it can take years, on your own, to "get" how to accomplish this skill. Watching me lay it out, you'll understand immediately... and finally have one of the most wicked-profitable high-end pro-level skills at your command.) How to create real urgency, without hype. (Another absolutely necessary element of a winning ad most people botch.) How to deal with your reader's "Bullshit Detector"... and win him over even though he desperately wants you to go away and leave him alone. (This unique knowledge separates the winners from the losers in the ad world.) How to stop "trying" to write... and finally get into that dangerous super-salesman's groove where the pitch writes itself. (You can do this, once I show you how. And it will change your life.) How to build up your own "Big Promise", and tie it in with a killer USP that won't let your prospect sleep until he's ordered. And everything else that goes into getting your sales pitch across in a way that brings in the money like a dam burst. And this goes for everyone, at every level of expertise. All it takes... is sitting down with me while I show you the tricks behind the magic. Once I show you WHY and HOW these five masterpieces worked so well... word by word, phrase by phrase, and strategy by strategy... you're going to have the biggest d*** smile on your face you've ever had. You'll be smiling because... You Will Be Able To Plug In Your Own Specifics As Easily As Pounding Square Pegs Into Square Holes... And Make Each Ad YOURS! I'm serious. It's as simple as a child's game to adapt ANY proven ad to your own uses. All you need... is to have someone (like me) show you the stunningly simple secrets behind the success. And give you the boilerplate, already written, that lets you do it yourself. There are many marketers out there who have written, on their own, a single ad that worked to some degree. Sometimes, they lucked into it, or obsessed so much on the project that they did version after version...until one finally started bringing in some profit. But they don't really know WHY the ad worked. And they couldn't REPEAT their luck if a gun were held to their head. Why Because... they don't understand the secrets behind money-making copy. It's like the old saying: Everybody has one novel in them. (But seldom two.) Same with ads -- if you try long and hard enough, you may stumble onto a headline or offer that brings in some serious moolah. But why work that hard And why risk your wealth, and the success of your business, on the "maybe" chance you will, somehow, be able to create an original new ad that might work well enough to bring in profit and new customers Why not... Ethically CHEAT Why not just "borrow" an ad that has already proven itself to contain ALL the necessary secrets and ingredients to be a world-class wealth-generator... and simply "translate" it to your own market You can do it with complete positive karma, because I will give you permission to do it. I'll show you how, and light the fire under your butt to get you going. This is my personal invitation to you to pillage my best five ads. I know this tactic works like crazy, when you finally figure out how to do it right. I know, because I've helped others do it myself many, many times. Some of the smartest (and richest) marketers alive have learned to do it to perfection. The results can take your breath away. An "okay" ad can bring in some nice little profit. Like a dollar and a quarter for every dollar you spend. You may be able to survive on that kind of return. But a world-class masterpiece... the kind that I've written and already proven in the real markets out there... Can Supercharge Your Bottom-Line Results Literally Overnight! That's why people pay me the big bucks to write a piece for them. It's not that they like to hand out checks for $30,000 (my standard up-front fee for copy). (This doesn't count the royalties I often get, either.) Nope. It's because they are utterly confident that what I write will be like opening a new checking account somewhere... and having other people stuff that account with cash. To the tune of hundreds of thousands of dollars, on up to millions. That's what running or mailing a winning ad is like. The money can come flooding in so fast you can't keep up with depositing it all. It's like the dam burst. It is, simply... The Difference Between "Just Getting By"... And Finally Getting Busy Earning The Fortune That Will Allow You To Live In Luxury For The Rest Of Your Days! That's why smart business owners pay me outrageous fees to write ads for them. My little Bag of Tricks holds the key to a big d*** house on Easy Street. So... have I flipped my lid here... Why in the hell would I reveal the hidden secrets behind my most famous and biggest profit-generating ads... so you can copy them yourself, and SKIP hiring me to write for you It is a little like committing professional suicide, isn't it. Because, once I do share the inside secrets behind my best work, you will realize two things immediately: It is so easy to alter an existing advertisement to your own greedy little needs -- and have it work so amazingly well -- that you may never bother to try writing original ads ever again... and... You can stop struggling with the whole business of writing ads altogether... and, instead, get on with the business of running your "ready-made" masterpieces and RAKING IN OBSCENE PROFITS. Because you've now got 5 very smoking ads "in the bank", waiting to be unleashed whenever you choose. I really could make myself -- and the entire skill set of advanced copywriting I teach -- obsolete. So why am I doing this Simple. First -- the ONLY people who are going to even know I'm selling these "License To Steal" seminar DVDs at this rock bottom price are the people who read my blog and click on the "Special Offer" link. In the grand scheme of things, this isn't even a ripple on the pond of the Big Old Marketing World Out There. There will always be plenty of other people who need to hire me, at my full outrageous fees. That doesn't worry me a bit. Second -- this is what I LOVE to do. I started this whole enterprise -- the newsletter, the manuals, the Copywriting Sweatshop -- because I love to teach. No one helped me when I started out, and I made a vow that -- after I made it -- I would do my best to help everyone I could. I want to be that pro who takes the time to help rookies and small business owners "get over the hump" of creating great advertising. I enjoy my role as the guy who reveals all the insider secrets that other professionals want to keep to themselves. (Trust me -- a lot of "expert" copywriters are gonna be plenty pissed at me for revealing these secrets, too.) Without doubt, this is the BEST way I can help you, right now. These DVDs will not make your brain ache with complex copywriting theory. Instead... I just show you how to take one (or more) of my existing "home run" ads... and adapt em for your own immediate use. With my permission. This is pure evil on my part. Why Because... this is going to change EVERYTHING in your market, and every other market of every other guy smart enough to take me up on this hyper-generous offer. Knowing how to instantly assault your market with this kind of world-class advertising is NOT like hiring a warrior to teach you how to fight. No way. It's like hiring a warrior to go out... and do the dirty work FOR you. Hey -- I like that metaphor. Imagine your market as something you need to conquer. (This is usually true.) Now, instead of you getting bloody and exhausted trying to beat the competition and win over customers... imagine having a professional bad-ass "hired gun" (say, a guy like me, for instance) go out and just slaughter the competition and corral all the customers you could ever handle. And then ask you to come in and take all the credit. And all the profit. All of it. This is heaven for any serious marketer who is finally ready to bust out and make his fortune. It doesn't matter what market you're in, either. It's not the specifics of the market that matter. Rather, it's knowing the specifics of the AD SALES PROCESS -- so you can substitute your own details. As easily as typing in your own name instead of the one already in the ad, in some cases. Or your own little story instead of the story already in the ad. Or your own USP, or hook, or features and benefits. I'll show you how. Exactly how. And I'll do it in a way that's quick and easy and simple. This is gonna change your life. This is gonna be more fun than being reborn as a spoiled rich kid. Here's how to get in on this: I have a short stack of these DVD sets from the seminar waiting here in my office. Just give the word, and I will send an entire set to you -- including the EXACT same workbook containing all the original ads and letters we covered. You can see the whole package for FREE, if you choose, too. Because you're covered by a complete, no-nonsense, 100% money-back guarantee... For 3 Entire Months, No Questions Asked. You don't risk a penny. Just click on the Order Now button below. I'll have Diane, my assistant, rush-ship your package out by Federal Express Ground (in the US). And you will have an entire 3 months to check everything out. If you're not completely happy -- for any reason whatsoever -- just send the package back (in any condition), and I'll promptly refund your purchase price. No questions asked. How much Listen carefully: My minimum fee for writing an ad is $30,000. When you factor in the royalty I tack on... you will understand why I've been paid $100,000 (and more) by clients for a single ad. (Including the ones I'm offering you.) I get the Big Bucks because what I write brings in BIGGER bucks for the client. It's a win-win situation. The five ads and letters I'm going to teach you how to "steal" have EACH been worth a FORTUNE, both to me and to the clients I wrote them for. I can't even begin to compute what the total profit has been. What does a Boeing 747 cost I have entertained obscene offers for the exclusive rights to these ads. And I've considered licensing the boilerplates for these ads to the general public (who have no clue how great advertising works). Here's the deal: I am, essentially, offering you five fresh ads. (Because I've already done 90% of the writing and conceptualizing and selling... plus, I will teach you how to convert them.) At a bare minimum, that would cost you $150,000 if you hired me directly, at $30,000 each for the five pieces. But I'm not going to ask for anything close to that kind of money. No way. The original cost for the "License To Steal" DVD package was $999 (plus royalty arrangements for extended use). If you go to my storefront right now, that is what you will find them selling for. But, for this special offer, I'm going to waive all royalty attachments -- so you get full use of these ad templates, with no strings attached. Plus... I'm slashing that original price by HALF. Your cost: Just $499. AND... if you want... I will add the DVDs from the "Copywriting Sweatshop" seminar (which are also selling separately for $999) for just an additional $299. Total for both DVD sets: $798. Or, if you like, 2 easy payments of $419. This is less than HALF the price non-blog readers are paying on my main storefront right now. I have always tried to treat you the way I wish other businesses would treat me -- with respect and trust and over-the-top service. I completed my part in this seminar. I will FORCE you to see how masterpiece ads are created... so you can walk out with the power to do it yourself. Immediately. And I expect you to do YOUR part -- which is to simply "get" what I reveal to you... and go out and EARN A TON OF CASH with what you learn. And man, is it ever FUN when it works like that. There's no other feeling in business like the warmth of watching your bank account EXPLODE from a killer, home run, world-class ad. That check you write to me will be the easiest one you ever write. Because it means you WON, big-time. So act now. This is the kind of life-changing event I LOVE to have happen to me. It's like this huge fork in the road -- you're limping along with your current life, maybe bored to tears or dead-broke... and then BAM! You're off on a wild new ride that changes everything. A whole new life, and a whole new world of business success is at your fingertips here. And it all begins with the simple decision: "Yes! I want to learn these secrets!" There is NO OTHER INVESTMENT you could ever make in your future that will pay off so fast, and so richly. You can still learn how to create original ads on your own... but you just won't have to wait for success, because you'll have one of MY ads cooking for you in the meantime (with your minor changes). And you can still work on the details of your business... but you can do that while your new "ready-made" masterpiece is out there bringing in a flood of new customers and dough. I don't care what else you might have earmarked for the money needed to get in on this offer. The ONLY way you won't earn that money BACK almost immediately... is if you don't try. What I teach you has the proven power to create fast, fabulous fortunes. Your success is front-loaded. I don't care how vicious your competition is, either. Hitting back with a world-class masterpiece ad is the BEST way to steal all the customers and earn your spot as Number One in your market. Nor I don't care how inexperienced -- or experienced -- you are. I know of dozens of guys who started with zilch (no cash, no skills, no idea of even how to get started) and quickly earned MILLIONS... and they did it with world-class masterpiece ads just like these that shocked the market and demolished all other comers. All it took was being let in on the secrets. I also know several PRO'S who never quite cracked the big time... and, with just a little push from me, finally went over the top. And instantly started earning FOUR TIMES their old fee... plus having clients call them, begging to hire em. These secrets are that powerful -- they can transform beginners, and instantly knock advanced writers into the big leagues. Nor do I care what market you're in. Over my twenty years as a copywriter, I've sold just about everything there is to sell, to every kind of customer alive. I've written infomercials, web sites, direct mail, print ads, every kind of ad imaginable. I KNOW this game, inside and out. There is NOTHING you're doing, or dealing with, or facing... that I haven't written ad copy about. Okay, I'm done. It's late, and I'm going to bed. It's quiet here at night, because it's a nice, exclusive neighborhood. The skills I've mastered at copywriting bought me this peaceful existence. I pay cash for my cars, guitars and vacations (and I take a LOT of time off, because I can), I can stare down any other business expert with total confidence, I can go anywhere I want, when I want and on my terms... and the only limit to even more wealth is my basic laziness. I'm just too busy having fun and getting on with the good stuff life has to offer. Knowing how to write sales copy will get you anything and everything you desire. And having a masterpiece ad working for you can jump-start that kind of success. Literally overnight. I've told Diane to expect your order. Sincerely, John Carlton P.S. One last thing. Learning the hidden secrets of these existing ads will give you the immediate power to use them in your own business. That's the main reason to get these DVDs. However, there is another benefit. When I started out, I constantly sought out winning ads by other writers... and tore them apart, searching for every copy secret, every sales-pumping tactic, every detail that upped response. That's how I got good. The trick, of course, was to find the winners. The business world is crammed with ads that look like winners, but aren't. I had inside help, and was able to find the ones that really were monster winners. What this means for you is obvious: You will get a deep, solid dose of how to tear apart a proven winner for the secrets it holds. Once I show you how to do it... you will be able to do it with OTHER ads and letters. Say, a Gary Halbert piece, or a Jay Abraham piece, or any of the other great writers out there. This "figure it out" talent opens the door to unbelievable wealth and success. No part of world-class copywriting will ever be a secret to you again. You'll have the keys to the kingdom. You will, in short... Be Set For Life! P.P.S. Don't miss out. I will never offer another seminar like this again. These DVDs are the next best thing to "being there"... and they are now the ONLY way to learn what I taught. I'm getting more and more reclusive as I get older. I've already turned down four requests for speaking at other seminars this year -- I'm more happy to stay home and write. I have the proven chops and the confidence to teach these skills to you. Being a "fly on the wall" and watching while I reveal these secrets will send shivers through your greed gland, and introduce you to a higher level of money-making expertise. But you gotta get the DVDs. Don't put this off.