#ive never had one of those
Note
your art looks like how a glazed donut tastes
Hm. Aww thank you<333
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
A Careful Fire
Careful.
I see your eyes and tears aflame,
Green like smoke, blue like ash,
Red in twisting rivers and screaming throat
I want to warn you, I want to stop you, you keep going and going and going and going,
It’s going to be the end of you
…
Maybe it’ll be worth it.
Burning down like a candle, a pyre, a house, a forest
Like darkness being torn apart, intimate, cruel
Careful fingers along the pulse
Deep and gouging and gentle, gentle
You know where to draw the line
I see you draw the line
You draw it too far
Your teeth are white, white, white and gleaming
Hard and sharp and jagged and charming, oh so charming
They could take me anywhere
Take me anywhere
Please, dear god, take me anywhere
I won’t go on my own
I need to I can’t
Please
Please
I am watching you, I am watching you
You destroy yourself and I am jealous
Jealous I don’t have the guts,
Jealous it’s not me ripping you open
Instead of staring and watching ‘til my eyes begin to water
My eyes burn but they burn coldly
I am standing still, a stone in a river
Wishing I could be ripped away from the earth and flung away, far, far away further and further and deeper and deeper
But the water runs slow
It wears me away instead
Careful,
I tell you, and there is hate on my tongue
You are being reckless, you are being stupid
This will kill you
My heart is carrion, my bones are trinkets
I wish I could sell them
But they are worth nothing
And they taste foul
I only want to keep you safe
I only want to watch you burn
Why must my eyes be for seeing and yours for screaming and crying and laughing and loving and dying and burning, burning, burning
You are a fire and I am a stone
You can’t hurt me, I am solid, I am steady,
I wish you would, I wish you could
I don’t want to watch anymore
Please don’t make me watch you anymore please
I am falling apart
I love you
I hate you
I need you
Gods devouring above and rotting below I need you
So hold me and hurt me and teach me to burn
Burn like the green of your eyes and the red of your throat and the pounding of your heartbeat
I want you
I am you
You don’t need me
It hurts, it hurts
I am too far away, and when the line was drawn, I was too far away
I don’t know how to cross it
I can taste the ash and the smoke and the fire but it does not belong to me
It is yours, it will always be yours
And I will never be, and I will never feel
Your fire on anything but the wind
I wish you would keep that in mind while you burn so recklessly
Careful.
I will not follow in your footsteps, wherever they lead
I will not laugh and cry and love with you
I will not cross that line you set
I will not feel your heat
Or taste your ragings
Or set your fires
Or burn
For when you burn away you will burn away alone
And though I will not be close enough to save you,
I will be close enough to watch.
#writing#poetry#written may 2021#this ones definately about like#an abusive relationship#but like#Ive never had one of those#or any kind of romantic relationship#so idk where this came from#I like it a lot though
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
happy TWO YEAR anniversary to everyone who attended the destiel wedding!
and happy valentines day to the rest of you guys <3 click the image for a surprise!
if you’ve ever seen that one post (i’ll link it in the replies) about the parallels between the rodeo scene in 12x11 and the movie “urban cowboy” and it entirely broke your brain, then this post is for you. and also i’m kissing you on the mouth
[ID. Digital art of Dean Winchester done in black and white. He’s is laid back on top of an electric bull. One hand rests on his hip while the other hovers in mid-air, fingers slightly curled, and he seems to be looking at it. When clicked, the transparency shows Castiel standing behind him. Castiel is holding Dean’s hand to his lips, while his other hand supports the back of Dean’s head. Castiel has a visible halo and wings that he has curled protectively around Dean. End ID.]
#destiel wedding anniversary#destiel#destiel fanart#spn#spn fanart#dean winchester#castiel#ficta et picta#a personal blogging experience#PLEASE NOTE THAT THE SURPRISE ONLY WORKS IN LIGHT MODE#if you clicked the picture and nothing changed then you're using the app/website in sth other than light mode and thatll just not work sry#anyway shoutout to tumblr users nottherealdean and sagegarnish ill hopefully remember to add their post in the replies in a minute#but thanks to them i have not and WILL never be normal about that scene.#nearly TWO YEARS this concept has been swimming in my head and now FINALLY i had the skills and idea to fully COMMIT#also im ngl this is one of those pieces that i only meant to quickly sketch out and then work on later#and instead it turned into a one-time five-hour sorta hyperfocus tunnel job#and i was so IMMEDIATELY pleased with the outcome and i still am. this has absolutely become one of my favourite destiel fanart pieces#that ive ever made. <3 these idiots are ruining my life and its chronic
668 notes
·
View notes
Text
sits up in bed. so lana and ema definitely thought they were responsible for edgeworth "choosing death", right?
(the rest of this post was supposed to go in the tags, because it's not very well organised or written, but it got too long so. here are the slightly edited tags for your reading pleasure (or otherwise)):
i was going to make this solely about ema because she's the obvious one with her open adoration of edgeworth, but the thing about rfta is that it goes to great lengths to emphasise the connection between lana and edgeworth as well.
the sl-9 incident showed that lana grows attached to people deeply, hence angel starr's comment on how, when neil marshall died, 'she (lana) felt like her own brother had died.' with edgeworth, i think it was similar but worse. because he's not just a coworker or subordinate who's dear to her. he saved her life. and it cost him his own.
at the beginning of the case, edgeworth says he was mistaken for thinking that lana was always looking out for him post sl-9 (a statement interesting on its own because that's when everyone else says she grew distant), and, later on, he brings ema fingerprinting powder because lana asked him to. then, of course, there's the 'lady luck' comment he makes.
similarly, on lana's side, you obviously have the end of the trial when she says he did well, but there's also that additional moment post-trial where she's the only one to notice — in a group comprising her, ema, phoenix and gumshoe — that he's 'hiding', listening to their conversation. point is, there's enough to suggest that she might have been the nearest thing edgeworth had to a mia; his 'chief prosecutor' to phoenix's plain 'chief'. they're as close as two people can be in a relationship where one of them is constantly lying and the other is von karma's star pupil.
rfta is pretty straightforwardly depicted as the case which solidified edgeworth's resolve to do what he did; i don't think i have to prove that. rumours about him have reached new heights, his car and knife were involved in goodman's murder, he makes an unprecedented mistake in court by failing to connect the evidence room and carpark incidents, thus forcing the chief of police to enter the trial to do so himself, and he's publicly revealed to have relied on falsified evidence to secure a conviction in the sl-9 case, all of which only happened because of lana. jake marshall even claims that from the beginning — that if you trace edgeworth's rumours back to their source, you end up meeting one person: lana skye.
and it gets worse because at the end of rfta, she thinks he's fine!! she literally says, 'i was afraid the pressure would break you, but you rose above it,' and reminds him he's nothing like gant because he's not alone. she leaves the case thinking he will be okay. and then, what, like a week passes, and she finds out that he wasn't, and that he's gone, and it's her fault. even after she was freed from gant's control, even after she had finally stopped lying, she couldn't prevent herself from claiming another life. so much for 'lady luck', i suppose.
and the game reiterates this multiple times. gumshoe states at the start that edgeworth's ties to those higher up in the department have made him the subject of constant rumours, and phoenix says (in front of ema) that he shouldn't be held responsible for the forged evidence because that was all lana's doing, which then leads to edgeworth commenting (again in front of ema) that he feels as though 'something inside him has died.' it all goes back to lana. we can argue and say that it was technically gant's doing that caused all of this, but lana still took actions that led to it. even her complicated friendship with edgeworth isn't spared; it's that closeness between them that exacerbated those rumours. how could she not feel responsible in some way?
and with ema, it's rather obvious, isn't it? if she hadn't gone poking her nose into things, none of this would have happened or come to light. and, of course, she'd never choose anyone over her sister, not for anything in the world — it's simply not a question, but that's the problem, isn't it? it's not a question. it's not some hypothetical moral dilemma. it just is. she may not have killed neil marshall, but she still has one king of prosecutor's blood on her hands. and now she has to live with that. she just. has. to live with it. no matter if he chose otherwise.
moving on from that a little, i think it's actually wild how much of ema's journey to becoming a forensics investigator is paved with bad memories. neil marshall's death and her subsequent inability to testify are what drives her to begin pursuing it, her first proper investigation results in her idol's "death" and when she finally graduates, the person who saved her sister has been disbarred, and she can't even help because she isn't allowed to. all that pain and constant pursuit of her goals, and she's still the same ema skye, still that girl shrouded in darkness, always one step behind the truth, one step a little too late. no wonder she was angry in aa:aj. i would be furious.
#and then like a year later they find out edgeworth's fine and if that happened to me i think i would kill him fr#WKSHDKAHDKS#lana skye#ema skye#miles edgeworth#the skye sisters' relationship with one dramatic depressed prosecutor is something that can be so personal...#ive literally never thought this much about lana or ema ever. they never occupy my thoughts but somehow.#everyone else: man edgeworth's vanishing must have had a real impact on franziska and phoenix. me: what about these 2 side characters who#technically only appeared once in the whole trilogy. in a dlc. what about them.#it's actually so interesting how much lana is set up to be important to edgeworth. phoenix even says she reminds him of mia and when i#first read that i was like ??? bc of the scarf? there's more to mia than a scard phoenix. but then you pay attention to how she interacts#with edgeworth and it's like oh. i see it now. and then she disappears forever.#mind you i dont think she or ema were like. destroyed by the news of edgeworth's supposed passing. not in the way phoenix was anyway.#for better or worse both lana and ema are shown to have a tight hold over themselves emotionally speaking. lana keeps a lid on them for#years and ema is told she might have killed neil by accident and is functional after a brief faint and recess. like those women are strong.#but i do think it would have had a deep impact regardless of how well they were able to cope. like i've said i dont see how it wouldnt.#anyway this concludes my rfta moment. time to go back to being unable to say a thing about susato-san even though she occupies my every#waking moment. if you read all this ily <3#it's also past midnight so if this is all a bit everywhere im sorry
109 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm never shutting up about this
#toh spoilers#im SORRY but you dont get how happy this makes me#the moment i saw his face i said ''bi'' and its one of those headcanons ive been deeply attached to#and i want to cry thinking about how he KNOWS. He knows hes bi.#hunter the golden guard is fully aware that hes bisexual and he wears a little pride flag patch#i KNOW this doesnt actually prove anything but SHUSH. I like it#im fully dumping my prior headcanons to hunter being unaware of his own orientation until recently because i like this better#hes always been aware. its just been a fact to him. same as being blond or named hunter.#its not something hes ever had to think deeply about. it just Is#but its probably not until luz came out that he learned that being bi in the human realm was an entirely different thing to back home#and i can imagine him personalizing this garment of his and its like#hunter: its MINE. i want to patch it full of stuff that i like. stuff that represents me.#luz: hmmm. sorry hunter. ive only got these two patches to choose from. good witch azura and the bi rainbow#hunter: i guess the rainbow works. that represents me. gimme!!#luz: ....the bi rainbow...represents you...?#hunter: yeah??#luz: YOURE BI???#hunter: YEAH???#luz: sorry its just...you never mentioned it...not that you HAVE to mention it but--#hunter: *shrugs* never came up.
686 notes
·
View notes
Text
im really normal about them <- lie
#ace attorney#mia fey#diego armando#miego#lorillee.png#THATS RIGHT BABY. AFTER -um . hold on. *checks notes* - SIX MONTHS. LORILLEE IS BACK WITH PHOTOSHOP ART 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥#every now and again i like to put effort into something just to remind everybody that i can actually draw#well i say that but to be honest i put a lot of effort into those ms paint ''diego fey REAL'' doodles#but half of that is just because humans are a . something. to draw. and urban backgrounds are my worst nemesis#and also trying to work with ms paint to like slightly transform things is an incredible pain in the behind#anyways. yeagh 😎👍 behold the power of miego. getting me to actually finish something in photoshop for the first time in months#anyways. ive discovered the secret to getting me to draw stuff on photoshop. prepare yourselves accordingly#what i need to do is sketch & line something in ms paint. and then directly trace it over into photoshop#and then i can go ham#see because the reason i never did this before was because i would sketch things in ms paint#and try to line them in photoshop and it simply Wouldnt Work.#so i had assumed that if i wanted to draw in photoshop id have to sketch in it first. yknow. which i cannot do for some reason#something about the way the pen feels and the . its like the smoothing setting is on even when its on 0 percent. you know. anyways#but with this one i drew mia in ms paint as per usual . and i wanted to mess around with color & light#and i triedddd to do it in ms paint but unfortunately as you can probably imagine. doing stuff like this without layer filters#can get a little difficult. if you know what youre doing its obviously going to be easier but that being said i do not#when i pick colors i am literlaly just wildly guessing 😭🙏 which is fine for more straightforward coloring/shading#but not quite here. which is why i wanted to take a stab at it in the first place#so anyways i was like FINE WHATEVER and tried tracing the lineart in photoshop so i could take a stab at coloring in there#and i was . enlightened. (no pun intended). it WORKS#so anyways . you may actually be able to expect. some photoshop art from me#well ok thats a lie never expect art from me. but we can all dream together#anyways they really are the star-crossed doomed by the narrative romance ever. everything to me
181 notes
·
View notes
Text
never give your characters placeholder names, because guess what. that's mr. placeholder now.
#never once have i used a placeholder and Not had it become the Official name#anyway ive been rotating those characters from my dream in my head#and i absentmindedly called one of them grant just because#and now that's grant. his name is grant dont even try anything else that's my buddy grant.#been avoiding naming mr humanities tho so that's still in the air. but the moment i say a name im afraid it will be final lmao.#according to jules
66 notes
·
View notes
Text
i need to share the absolute fucking Experience i had playing minecraft tonight. i'm gonna be emotional about it for days
so me and my friends like to play on this server that's pretty much just a bunch of minigames. one of them is Murder Mystery - of a group of - i think its 13/14 people - one person is randomly selected as the murderer (spawns with a sword), the other as the sheriff (spawns with a bow). the rest are innocent. the innocents can gain a bow by collecting coins. no one knows anyone's status unless the player shows their sword/bow. i'm doing a quest where, in order to get points, i need to kill the murderer.
so as the game start countdown begins, me and my pal are checking out this Red Link skin. it's pretty neat! we're all crouching and punching at each other, as one does. i feel a connection form with Red Link. we're buddies now. we're in this together.
so we're all running around the map. every time i see Red Link, we crouch and punch at each other. the game is going fine, we're having fun. i'm delighted that i've made a one-game friend.
then my friend says that Red Link is the murderer, and i literally have a hard time believing it. Red Link? my Red Link? no, they must be mistaken. we were together at the start. they had ample opportunities to kill me. it can't be Red Link. but whoever the murderer killed was the sheriff, and i needed to complete the quest - picking up the sheriff tombstone grants me the bow.
so i run, trying to find it, and i turn the corner.
there Red Link was, standing at the end of the hall, by the tombstone, with a sword in hand. i froze. i was so upset - not Red Link! not my dear companion! i was so sure that was it.
but i walked forward anyway, thinking that maybe if i dodged around them, grabbed the bow, and turned and shot fast enough, i could get them. the thought was actually distressing! Red Link didn't put the sword away. they watched me slowly approach. we stood on either side of the tombstone, and i expected Red Link to cut me down. i was well within reach of their sword.
Red Link calmly, still looking at me, moved to the side and past me. i panicked and grabbed the bow, ran to the corner, turned and drew - Red Link was already at the other end of the hall, running away. i didn't want to shoot, but i needed the kill - who knows when i'd get an opportunity to complete the quest again. it's a tough one.
i missed, thank fuck, but man. i was in shock. i thought i was a goner.
then, after the game where awards are given - the murderer, who killed them, who collected the most coins - i went up to Red Link and crouched. they crouched back.
then they left the game.
#IM STILL WAILING#you know those movies/shows where a character befriends a dangerous wild animal / monster#and later the monster goes on a killing spree#but then it stops before killing the character that was kind to it. and spares them.... yeah.... this felt like that#it felt wild as fuck#ive never had that happen... kindness is real....#red link if you're out there. i'll think of you fondly and often#the joy turned disbelief turned betrayal turned shock turned bittersweet euphoria#i knew that id never see them again... i was right...#but yes. this felt Important. i needed to share!!!#i was very emotional!! as my buddies can attest!!!#i talked about it until we said Goodnight!#absolutely unprompted#the relief i felt when my arrow missed...#i wished them luck in my head! even though i knew they'd probably die!#what would have happened if they hadnt i Wonder#what if i was the last one alive. would Red Link have killed me then? questions that will never be answered...#oh yes also one of my friends was also there for the Hallway Showdown and was spared#but! i will be honest! i tunnel visioned so hard that the entire world came down to me. that tombstone. and my dearest Red Link.
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
i've been thinking a lot about the word "representation" and what it means and how it's changed over the last few years, particularly when it comes to the writing/publishing landscape but also in movies and tv shows… and i really don't like it anymore. to be clear, of course i think it's important to have diversity in your work, i'm not saying i hate the concept of representation. but i do really dislike the way it's used now, and i really just hate the word itself
in a broader sense it's just become a marketing tool. i'm not impressed by any publisher or author who just describes their book by listing all of the minorities/identities the characters represent as if that should be enough. it feels very gross, very exploitative and disingenuous. it also really bothers me because it's always marginalized identities- which i understand Why, but it feels very othering to me (and again. Very exploitative as an advertisement). you would never list out "cishet able-bodied white man" as a character description to pat yourself on the back over. so why do it to everyone else? why insinuate that one is the "default" and the other one is "special"? (and when i say this i'm mainly talking about advertisements/marketing. i understand why people would specify about characters in descriptions with the plot, but i don't like to see an ad that's just "this book has gay people!" with nothing else)
which then leads me to my other point, which is that a lot of people treat "representation" as if it's "too hard." like "oh i don't know enough to write about that, i don't have that experience, etc" which is a fair way to feel! however… it's weird that people only say this about writing trans characters or characters of color. i'm writing a story right now with a character who is really into motorcycles. i personally do not know that much about motorcycles, so i researched what parts are what & what different kinds of models there are & what basic bike care looks like. i guarantee Most people will have to google something at some point in their writing process. so what's the problem? it also, again, feels very othering when authors treat certain groups of people as "impossible" to write, "too hard" to understand. they are just.. people. you write them as a person. and then you figure out the rest later.
and i think part of the refusal or fear to write something outside of your experience is because of the way representation is treated as So Special. these characters are So Special that they aren't allowed to be anything other than "representation." they're Not allowed to be characters with complex emotions and interesting motivations, they have to just be Trans or Gay or Disabled or whatever. they're not allowed to be people. which means, at the end of the day, we loop right back around to where we were at the start….
there is bad representation. there are depictions of certain marginalized people that are harmful and that are damaging, i'm not trying to minimize that or argue against it at all, in fact we should all be mindful of that while writing and reading. but i also think it's possible to swing too far in the opposite direction as well and put certain groups of people on a pedestal and not allow them to do anything at all but be Perfect Representation, if that makes sense.
#anyways. is this anything#sorry i dont have anything insightful to say at the end here i just wanted to ramble#especially abt the way ppl market books now it like. genuinely disgusts me#cannot imagine marketing tnp in that way. my characters are many things AND they are trans. and their transness#is not just a flashy feature for attracting attention#also i do understand the fear of 'getting it wrong' but that's why you have beta readers or even actual sensitivity readers#that's why you ask for feedback. especially in this space like... people will give it#that's what makes sharing your process and early draft in this community so rewarding#and there's also just the reality that no matter what you do some people will Not like it 🤷#and ime a lot of ppl look at representation very individualistically#as in it's only good representation if it represents Me#which sucks. and you're never going to please those people#ANYWAYS also to be clear this is not a vague or meant to be targeted at any one person please don't be fucking weird#this is just some thots i've had recently esp since ive seen the representation conversation pop up quite a few times#and since i've been doing research for characters in my other project#personal
269 notes
·
View notes
Text
Human Vox !!
Bonus Doodle -- Someone get him some contacts, he's scaring the hoes....
#hazbin hotel#hazbin vox#human vox#funfact drawing the doodle made CSP crash on me and i had to redo it lol#my version is really basic compared to other designs ive seen but i kinda like it that way#generic white boy tv show host with eyes that will make you pee your pants#He looks so normal and then behind the scenes hes a total fucking freak#One of those celebs who people would never expect to be evil becaude theyre just so ChArIsmAtIc and ChArMiNg and HAnDSOme
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
Speaking of Tyrest. A lot of people forget that he treated Pharma with absolute disdain, not only using him as a test subject for a clearly painful mass murder machine, but talking to Pharma like he saw him as nothing but some henchman to order around that was nothing more than a 'diseased cripple' if Tyrest hadn't come to rescue him.
Like it really is an interesting background dynamic with some curious implications, but when you look at fandom posts from around that issue/the years after, for some reason people just saw "Pharma worked with Tyrest" and concluded Pharma is a card carrying bigot ksjfnskxkd. Like yeah Pharma didn't do anything to stop Tyrest but it seems his main beef with the Autobots was with Ratchet in particular and maybe a general disdain for his ex-comrades. As well as continuing to hate Decepticons which like, not even the "good Autobots" are immune to (even in Pharma's introduction, First Aid says in his journal something like "yeah we all hate Decepticons, but Pharma REALLY hates them"). And despite what fandom likes to construe there's really no evidence in IDW1 that Autobots and Decepticons are different "races" or "types" of Cybertronians, so Pharma hating Decepticons really isn't a bigotry/robot racism thing. And instead probably has something to do with, idk, the 4 million year long galaxy-spanning blood feud war, or maybe being blackmailed and tortured into insanity by the Biggest and Most Decepticon-y of Decepticons.
Tyrest treated Pharma like trash, the other Decepticons working for Tyrest (how come no one ever brings that up btw) also hated him, so if anything it seems that Pharma was more of a rogue element only staying with Tyrest bc he was his best option and probably had no way to even escape.
I'm glad that at least in recent years the fandom has acquired a keen reading eye and good taste to finally recognize Pharma as the (accidentally) complex character he is instead of making him some posh, racist Starscream clone SHSJDGSGDH
#squiggposting#pharma apologism#yeah i'm apologisting again i guess my mental health is somewhat okay again dkdkkxckkddkd#(my followers seeing me post about pharma) nature is healing#there's also that line where pharma says 'maybe i can help' and skids is like#'fuck off and hope we don't beat you to death after this is over'#they didnt know that pharma was a test subject of the killswitch but wow#that's prolly one of the most out of pocket moments of the story that ive never seen anyone mention#honestly that moment is why i think JRO didnt intend pharma to be That Deep#i feel like that sort of 'not even other autobots like him' treatment is something#that comes up a lot in JRO's villain writing. or like asshole behavior towards some characters#is just plot events proceeding as usual. nothing to see just villains getting their due#tho tbh pharma's character in general suffers from the problem that he's so closely related to a main/major characyer#that it wouldve made way more sense for him to be written in earlier#so all his connections w/ ratchet and the plot had to be established retroactively#also speaking of 'asshole behavior excused bc it's towards a villain'#all those times when people are like (fucking amazing piece of medical research by pharma)#'then he started murdering his patients. what a piece of shit'#like idk it could have been intentional but imo all my readings of pharma were not really intended by JRO#and i'm fully just headcanoning and constructing theories on my own#like pharma was simply not important enough or a major enough character to get fleshed ojt#so basically we get enough pieces of him to establish continuity and a general timeline of his life and thats all
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
My review of Miraculous Ladybug S5 so far is that it has a lot of scenes that I like in theory, but in action just end up being very silly and way over dramatic
#that being said. i love them all the same#genuinely obsessed with this show#but man it handles everything in such an odd way#they always spend so much time talking about nothing for the first 75% of the episode#and then the last 25% hikes up the drama to 100 and its always so abrupt#'illusion' is an excellent example of this lol#that episode had such a strange and sudden tone shift#its bizarre that the episodes are 22 minutes long but still barely manage to say anything#this is all technically criticism but make no mistake. i wouldnt have it any other way#this is truly the peak of miraculous ladybug. this is what it should ALWAYS be#so far i dont think theres been an episode where ive been particularly BORED. theyve all got a little spice to them#which i appreciate#well. i kinda didnt like the first 2 episodes. those were just a lot of running around#but everything after that has been exactly what i wanted#tldr: the pacing is weird and i wouldnt change a thing#my notes document on this show is up to 8 pages. ive never had as many opinions on a show as I do this one#im a certified miraculous stan
76 notes
·
View notes
Text
well that's the worst nightmare I've had in a while
#we were at the grocery store and a shooter came in. my sibling and i were separated at the time.#they died. and i was theone to find their body afterward. so. that fucking sucked.#woke up and strted to cry bc i thought it was real for a second#dream journal#edit bc i dont eant to reblog it to say this but ive had time to process it now#i was the only fucking person who cared that xe died. the dream cut to after the shooter was arrested and we were preparing for xer funeral#i think the dream implied that yhe shooter was an ex employee at the store and my dad and i were trying to like. talk to the owners about Y#Your Ex Employee Killed My Fucking Sibling#and the manager or boss or ehoever just. didnt care. didnt have any sympathy#my dad was there. but he didnt speak. i had to beg the managet to feel anything for the child who was shot and killed in his store.#to pay for xer funeral? i dont know.#we were there getting a blind bag toy xe had talked aout going to get irl since it was a short walk there really#i was looking for those pink chocolate chips.#to make cookies fro my friends#thats why i eoke up thinking it was real i think#most of my set-in-reality nightmares hinge on something that Cant happen anymore. this one was based on Recent Events and Planned Events#i had woken up just before six. when xe gets up for school. so i stared crying bc Oh My God Xe's Dead Xe's Never Going To Go To School Again#i dont think ive looked them in the face at all today.
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
Drew one of @solazu1's funny lil guys from their The Devil's Lapdog/THDPH AU!!
The AU is very very good & I love it sm
[Denise deserves so much better & a lotta therapy]
Alt. Lighting versions + some extra stuff/lore things added to it! Warning however, for VERY very bright colors!!!!
Funky lil brightly colored demons are so fun yk. Definitely making everything better
#also drew the other guy as well but haven't colored those yet#this one took like 20 hours so it'll take a fair bit to finish them all#anyway. ive never had an au that made me wanna beat the hell out of a guy sm before#if you know the au then like you know what i mean but like. Oceania better watch his back i stg. gonna find them personally & blend them#all different timeline versions. bro is gonna be smoothied#insert the “do you want me to kill that guy for you???” quote#chonny jash#cj thdph#tw bright colors#bright colors#eyestrain //
53 notes
·
View notes
Text
what they dont tell you about being incredibly introspective is that you'll think you're done making realizations and then you'll just make more realizations always all the time forever
#dude. guess who just found out the reason he's incapable of imagining himself in a good relationship#is bc he's never witnessed any growing up.#my parents dont have a relationship i would want#only one of my siblings is married and her husband sucks. other has never dated while ive been alive (im much younger)#+ my other sibling had. a strange relationship i wont mention details of but this was also like 5 yrs ago and he hasnt dated since#i have very few close friends and none of them dated as we grew up either#or even with some its like. i wldnt want your relationship lol...#the only Good relationships i see are online from ppl i follow. and then i cant trust em bc we only see the Good Parts#so like. do they even exist... i dont think so....#if i wasnt starved for physical touch id consider throwing in the towel permanently#but idk maybe ill buy one of those pillows with the arms that wrap around you#and a few more **** and try and cope with it in kenland or al's farm forever#talkys#im still 100% serious about ppl who have good relationships being lucky bc i feel like#the chances of finding someone you mesh with and are attracted to and can communicate with. are so slim.#i can barely ever find someone meeting one of many requirements. i can barely make friends. etc
60 notes
·
View notes
Text
thank you for the tag @fxreflyes this is so cute, except the format is trying to hinder my propensity to ramble, so i’ve rectified this in the tags lmao
i’m over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / i’ve never dated anyone / i have a best friend i’ve known for over five years / i am an only child
no pressure tags for @static-radio-ao3 @inevitablestars @itsjaywalkers @carniferous @orbitfalls @transsexualpriest @futurequibblerjournalist <333
#i'm like 5'7 i think. fun fact i used to wear glasses when i was like 11 bc all my friends were getting glasses and i wanted some too so i#lied to my optician. lol good times. don't actually need glasses tho soooo.#this is me coming out as a natural blonde guys….. like my hair hasn’t been blonde in a good year or so and it hasn’t been my natural blonde#in like three/four years but still in my heart of hearts i identify as a blonde. like i get confused when people don't count me as one#i have my ears and nose pierced and i would love a tattoo but unfortunately i have both a fear of needles and commitment issues so.#not sure if that’ll ever happen… would be very hot and sexy tho. also i'm one of those freaks with green eyes lol it's appaza quite rare#my hair is currently like dark dark brown… have been getting the itch to dye it again tho like a kinda reddish colour idk yet we’ll see#i had braces for AAGES. i have freckles in the summer and i paint my nails whenever i remember to. rn they’re a very chipped lilac colour#i think i have a resting bitch face but i can never tell tbf like it might be more of a resting 'dead to the world' face lmao#okay technically i don’t play an instrument anymore! but in the past i’ve dabbled with the cello the oboe and the xylophone. singing too#spanish and italian baybee although ig if this means like fluently then that’s not me but this is literally my degree it’s my whole brand#yes i like to read but also the only things ive read in like the last few months have been either books in spanish/italian for my degree#literary criticism for said span/ital books and… fanfic. so. also i like writing but it's my worst enemy rn the thoughts aren't working :(#i have many best friends that i’ve known for years!!!! in fact i've known some of my friends for like my entire life it's very cute#okay sorry for rambling i can never help myself and i also literally could go on icl like there was Some restraint applied here#kara lore#bc there's quite a lot of it in this one lol#tag games
22 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
brawaha
Where I keep all my TMNT stuff..
corridadetoros
American Torero
mekexogaqujo
Untitled
thenewbohemiantattoo
The New Bohemian Tattoo
infoduniainternet-blog
Untitled