#ive been at 99 for so fucking long and at this point im just begging to hit that 100 to atleast show for it yknow
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#vent post dont be weird#i really do wish i could just stop existing in december#i always feel like shit this month nothing goes right#im exhausted and angry and very low and doing tnat thing where i kinda just wanna stop interacting with anyone#for a bit#idk im sorry if we're like friends and youre worried ir whatever ill be fine tomorrow i always fucking am#ive been at 99 for so fucking long and at this point im just begging to hit that 100 to atleast show for it yknow#like a good honest breakdown would be phenomenal right now thats atleast something to show for and point at#i have a pizza in the oven and when its done im going to eat it and then try to go to bed for like 4 hours and finally pass out#until like noon like it feels ive been doing for years know#idk. these usually dont go anywhere im not going to try to end this pretty
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tma fic recs
I’ve seen a couple of fic rec posts floating around. since ive been reading so many excellent fic recently, i thought that id make one as well! please note this list is going to be 99% jonmartin. also buckle up, because this is going to get long.
Completed
the umbrella by Wildehack (tyleet)
"And to think—all of Jonah Magnus’ carefully laid plans, the centuries of scheming, the murders, the sacrifices, all of that work could have been completely undone if Martin Blackwood had gone back for an umbrella" - holdthosebees
Notes: This is probably my go-to fic if i want an apocalypse never happened scenario. The jonmartin is wonderful, as is the h/c.
Diary and Prenon-nous la main by luftballoons99
Diary summary:
Not for the first time since they ran away together, a camera reel of all the things they don't know about one another whirs behind Martin's eyes, and he can't help but look at all the sprawling magnetic tape and wonder if they’re going to wind up a romance or a tragedy.
or: Office parties, garage bands, and the joy of being known.
Prenon-nous la main summary:
They still haven't talked about it, any of it, not even to pass the time on the long train ride to Scotland. Instead, Martin fell asleep in the seat next to him, pressed into his side from shoulder to knee, and Jon thought about love confessions and verb tense and how the two fit together when you think you're dying.
or: Good cows, mediocre poetry, and other crucial topics of discussion.
Notes: Do you love impeccable safehouse jonmartin characterization? do you love characters grappling with the mortifying ordeal of being known? do you love softness so tender that it makes you want to weep? please read these fic. im begging you.
i’ll tell you about all the times i’ve smiled because of you by cryptidkidprem
Summary:
Martin thinks about their shoes, sitting beside each other on the floor by the bed. Thinks of the way Jon wears Martin’s cardigans more often than he wears his own, the way Martin’s started keeping elastics around his wrist because Jon always forgets his own when they go out.
He thinks about all the gentle touches and fussing over each other they’ve done, and how much is still to come over the next… however long Jon will have him.
They have a long way to go, an entire life to build out of the wreckage Jonah Magnus and Peter Lukas left them, but laying together in a comfortable, sleepy quiet, Martin thinks they’ve got a good start going.
Or, Jon quits the Institute, saves the world, and it turns out to be exactly what he needs in order to heal and start moving forward towards building a life with Martin.
Notes: how many times have i reread this fic? more than i can count. jon quits the institute and it’s just full of soft jonmartins. they get married! god i love them.
go softly by doomcountry
Summary:
And there is nothing else besides this.
Notes: every time i remember this fic i reread it. please heed the tags because martin is blinding jon, but he’s like. blinding jon in the most heartbreaking way possible. idk how the author made this so tender but i know i was certainly crying so!
The Reverb in These Holy Halls by Wolftraps (AlwaysBoth)
Summary:
Undoing the apocalypse would have been enough for Jon, if all his people survived. Without them, Jon's only recourse is making it so it never happened in the first place. He's going to do better this time.
Notes: Do you like time travel fixits? i sure like time travel fixits. reverb is an excellent one. heavy on the h/c, I wanted to hug jon so so badly.
Yesterday is Here by CirrusGrey
Summary:
"Who the hell are you?" Jon could feel his hands shaking.
The man laughed, taking a step forward and raising a hand to point at him.
"I'm you, from the future!" he said, then swayed, eyes going unfocused, and collapsed to the floor in a dead faint.
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Post-season-four Jon and Martin time travel back to the season one Archives.
Notes: Yet another time travel fixit! also excellent. the teasing was HYSTERICAL. also Im just going to say this now - CirrusGrey in general writes incredible tma fic. You can’t really go wrong.
unassigned supplementals by bibliocratic
Notes: I won’t put in a summary just because it’s a long series of oneshots, but bibliocratic’s writing is amazing. Again, you can’t really go wrong with one of their fic!
let the soft animal of your body by autoclaves
Summary:
Standing in the warm kitchen, slats of sepia light filtering through onto the counter in front of him, Martin doesn’t know what to do with his hands. He half expects them to go through the countertop entirely, glossy and solid as it is. He isn’t used to any of it, yet. The safehouse. Jon. Beams of sun pouring into his hands. After being deprived of everything of significance for so long, the longing that crashes over him is almost painful in its tangibility. He wants to laugh, to sob, to scream and hear it echoed back against the neat, square walls of the safehouse.
In the end, he doesn’t do any of these things. He makes eggs instead. He can do that, can’t he? Use his hands for something simple and plain and good.
(Or: In the safehouse after it all, Martin starts cooking.)
Notes: this fic really speaks to me a) because i project on martin like crazy and b) because food is also my love language. this fic is incredibly soft and it’s all about cooking!
“Have you tried turning it on and off again?” by shinyopals
Summary:
I hope you find your new role as Head of the Institute as rewarding as captaining the Tundra, wrote Elias Bouchard, to Peter Lukas. There are so many people working there: all with their own interesting lives, and all desiring your attention and support. I'm sure you will relish the challenge it will bring and enjoy every moment spent with the fine men and women of the Institute. In time I'm confident they'll become like a family to you.
The Magnus Institute has a new boss.
The Magnus Institute also has a new tech support technician.
These two facts are unrelated, except they both happen at the same time.
Meanwhile Jon's woken up from being dead for six months and for once he's trying his best. He just wishes Martin would stop avoiding him and answer his messages...
Notes: if you’re looking for a good laugh, this fic is SO SO SO FUNNY. i was dying. basically the magnus institute being an absolute bureaucratic nightmare.
hello my old heart by firebirdsuite
Summary:
Peter’s wrong, of course. When it’s all over, Martin does still want to tell Jon everything. It’s just—well, there’s a few things they need to work through first before they can get there.
Martin and Jon find each other again in Scotland.
Notes: it’s all about the yearning. and trust me, the yearning in this fic? im just. i sure do love jonmartin, and this is such soft, loving jonmartin it just makes you want to cry
two ships passing by pyrites
Summary:
Gerard Keay is 10 years old the very first time he tries to run away from home, right around the time that Jonathan Sims has just come into possession of his first Leitner.
Or: One dropped stone can change the way the whole ocean moves.
Notes: again, JONGERRY. MY GOODNESS. this fic is beautiful, the writing is absolutely breathtaking and it owns my heart. im so in love with it. the author said you’re going to have emotions about jon and gerry and jongerry and i said OKAY
Terminal Sight by viv_is_spooky
Summary:
Spider silk weaves through the visions of two Seers. Monstrosity is dawning on them both.
Notes: I’d never read a gerryoliver fic before this, but the execution is EXCELLENT and now im sold on the ship forever. This fic has wonderful prose and great characterization and i love it a whole lot.
Incomplete
assistant archivist au by PitViperOfDoom
Notes: I won’t put a summary since I’m reccing an entire series, but. it is absolutely no secret that i adore jongerry. pit’s assistant archivist au slapped me over the head with some gorgeous jongerry oneshots and then gave me the gift of the main fic (which is still in progress) about head archivist martin. i love this au so so much
dustsceawung by callmearcturus
Summary:
Martin had always been favored by the summer courts, and moving up north to the little village of Lacuna is a difficult adjustment. It's rainy and lonely and everyone seems to have a strange, distant relationship with the local faerie court.
However: there is a strange man in a cloak who walks past Martin's remote little cottage every few days.
However: there is a moth that keeps getting stuck in Martin's house during the rain.
These events are not as disconnected as they first appear.
Notes: you ever just read a fic that you didn’t know that you needed until after you read it? yeah. featuring the fae and moth jon and excellent characterization.
Illicio by ThatOneGirlBehindYou
As the new Archivist debates between life and death, the Eye ponders on what to offer him in order to avoid an encore of the unfortunate situation with his predecessor.
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Gerard Keay opens his eyes at what feels like fuck-ass in the morning, inside a room with far too little space and far too much dust.
Notes: This is also the moment where I reveal that im a sucker for jongerrymartin. please read this fic. gerry is brought back from the dead in s4 and everyone is far better off for it.
where there’s a will, we make a way by bubonickitten
Summary:
"So, what does happen if an Eye learns to See within itself?
What happens is this: the Archive Beholds the Watcher – and the Watcher blinks first."
________________________
Jon goes back to before the world ended and tries to forge a different path.
Notes: this time travel fixit is shaping up to be an absolutely incredible read. i love the way this author writes jon so so much, and the characterization is spot on. this whole fic just satisfies some little part of me. god. also!! bubonickitten’s writing in general? beautiful. please check out their other works.
The Timeline of Theseus by Applea
Jon tries to force the Spiral to send him back, but the Sprial's corridors never twist things quite the way you want them to. Back in 1996, Elias has no idea why or how the Eye made such a powerful Avatar out of an 8 year old, especially when said 8 year old doesn't actually know he has any powers at all. Clearly such a child cannot be left outside the Institute's care.
Notes: This fic is legitimately brilliant. The author manages to capture the big ADHD mood and the precociousness of baby Jon while managing to write a wonderful storyline. Time travel! Elderly lesbians! A Jonah who is wildly in over his head but was walloped over the head with paternal instinct! Baby Gerry! What more could you possibly ask for?
rooms full of people who do not love each other yet by seaer
Summary:
“Wanted to ask about a book.” The boy has his hand on the counter, and he leans into it, nonchalant. The library is air-conditioned, but by no means frigid, and Jon can’t help but feel sweaty just looking at the layers he’s wearing; what looks like old leather over an olive-green Magnus pullover over his school shirt. “Do you have A Journal of the Plague Year?”
Jon says, tetchily, “We’re about to close.”
“I know. Do you have A Journal of the Plague Year?”
Notes: I am so in love with this author’s writing style and the way they write the characters!! The jon and gerry friendship is PERFECT and the character interactions are all darling.
if you read these fics please send the authors some love, they definitely deserve it!!
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hey! hey! why do you hate the television format??
Ah yes, thank you for reminding me
I would like to state for the record before we begin that this is my personal reasons for not enjoying the format of television and not “why television is bad'' because im sure there's many people whose reasoning for liking TV is the same as my reasons for disliking them. please dont get mad at me if you disagree lmao
I feel like the short answer could be: “I have a degree in theatre and i prefer books”
But really i hate the fact that the story is subject to change via outside forces.
In a well written play or book, there is a beginning, middle and end. It is a complete story that has been well thought out and woven together. Every detail is important and makes sense dramaturgically. You have your characters and your plot and nothing about that changes. We’re taught in Theatre School (TM) that the playwright is the first artist, and everything goes back to the playwright’s words. The story cannot change because of outside forces and it will not change over time. Once a book has been published, it is done. And yeah in theatre, a play can be done by many people with multiple interpretations of the story but it always goes back to the playwright’s words as they are the first artist and it is about honoring those words. Yada yada. you get it.
TV is always subject to change. Actors leave because there was drama on set or because they have other projects to work on. Writers change and the tone of the show changes. Or they go to a different network and the show changes. You never know how long the show is actually going to go so it could be cancelled in the middle of an important plot they never got to wrap up or the show could extend past the original plot idea and the seasons get more and more ridiculous as they’re just trying to come up with shit to do so they can keep the show running.
Like supernatural, which went on for far too fucking long and just kept spitting out nonsense when they could have wrapped up in season five.
Like the Vampire Diaries, where the main fucking character Elena Gilbert left the show (which was ridiculous!!) or when her little brother Jeremy was just like written out of the show and then never talked about again like what the hell
Like Timeless, which got cancelled after two seasons and left so many loose ends (they had to like, beg for a movie to wrap everything up)
Like the Magicians, which just, like, sigh. Y’all know. I don’t want to get into it. Y’all know.
Hell, even Parks and Rec, with Ann and Chris leaving the show. If Parks and Rec had been a book Ann would have never left!!! Never!!!
Characters get pregnant because the actors who play them get pregnant and suddenly THAT’s the plot line of the season. (Wynonna Earp, Brooklyn 99, The Office, How I Met Your Mother, Sex and The City, Bones, Friends, The Big Bang Theory, Once Upon A Time, Charmed, The Vampire Diaries, Parks and Rec, Grey’s Anatomy, The X-Files, Yes I Looked Up This List To Prove My Point)
If an actor breaks their foot then the writers have to change the plot. Everything about the story is subject to change due to outside forces and that might be a selling point for some people but i do not vibe with it!!
And also, you��re watching the story unfold over the course of time and something could change halfway through the season and they abandon the really cool plot they were working on to suddenly set up a way for them to kill off the main character of the show. (okay apparently i do want to get into it with the magicians).
Like call me a snob but i like a concise arch! Something that the show is working towards, the story that they’re telling and the thesis of the show, and the end goal they’re working towards. I just honestly don’t like the “stories wrap up in one season and will we get another? Maybe? Okay yes we will so let’s come up with a new big bad for the characters to fight who’s got ideas” or like if you get seven seasons into a show and they’re like “And here’s my long lost sister that ive literally never mentioned before but we needed something exciting for the plot so here she is!” like i hate that shit. I know my old roommate loooooved when TV shows pulled twists like that so im not saying it’s bad writing im saying I personally hate this style of writing.
I just keep throwing in these disclaimers so no one gets pissy at me lmao
I think what caused me to realize and put a name to these feelings was watching the Schitt’s Creek Finale. I love Schitt’s Creek because it feels like one concise story. The characters all grow and develop and have an arch and at the natural conclusion of that arch, the story wrapped up. I loved that shit. It was a game changer for me. Any other show would have kept going and the tone of the show would have been totally different and frankly im glad they wrapped it up when they did and as they did. It was a perfect ending.
I haven’t really watched the Good Place but I’m told similar things about it.
Avatar the Last Airbender which we can all agree is the greatest show ever written had a clear plotline throughout the whole series and a goal they were working towards even if they did have side plots, it was all building up to one endgame. And it was stellar.
I also recently rewatched parks and rec which is one of my favorite shows of all time and i do truly love it but like the whole point of the show originally was that they were gonna build a park and there were times in the show that they just totally forgot about that goal to work on other storylines until they were like ANN’S LEAVING WE GOTTA BREAK GROUND. That’s annoying! And once parks and rec started getting really popular and making more money they were able to be like “let’s send them to england! France! DC! Scotland! San Francisco! Let’s bring in Michelle Obama and Joe Biden and John McCain and Madeleine Albright! Which like all of that was really cool and some of the best parts of the series but also just another example of how the show changed over time as they got more name recognition and money.
Also lmao i just had the thought that it doesn't really matter what community did because the point of that show was to be batshit and they succeeded spectacularly. What a good time. Just had to add that in there.
So yeah that’s why i hate the television format because everything is subject to change from the plot to the tone to the writing to the characters and a lot of times there isn’t a clear narrative arch as they’re just coming up with nonsense to keep the show going and i just don’t vibe with that.
So if i hate the television format why do i still watch it, you ask? You never shut about tv shows on your blog and yet here you are declaring that you hate them. What’s up with that. Well, the answer is simple. I have major FOMO. Also lmao quite honestly i just recently came to these conclusions and put words to these feelings during the quarantine so after 23 years of being pissy at tv shows all the time i honestly probably will watch less of it. I probably wont stop completely tho. Ive already said that im not gonna watch tv shows with queer characters until the show is over and its been confirmed for me that the show treats its queer characters and viewers with respect and dignity and i stand by that. (It’s the only reason why ive started to watch black sails.) im for sure never watching another cw show again. I have literally never finished a CW show because something has happened in it halfway through that pissed me off so much i never finished the series
So that’s my opinion does anyone also feel the same way? I feel like im crazy
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Alright, I finally read Reincarnation no Kaben
AFTER MONTHS (it’s probably been a month? My mind doesn’t keep track of the days) I FINALLY CAUGHT UP TO RNK. Ty to Okita anon for the recommendation (*￣3￣)╭💕💕💕 I absolutely loved it.
After this I’ll start on the other recommendation you gave me. I kept a bit of a log of my reading journey under the read more tag.
Major spoilers for literally everything in RNK up to ch 53 “Withdrawal”.
Oh, and I’ll finish answering all my leftover asks and I SHOULD have a fic done by tomorrow. I was so ready to write and then I got up. Now I’m back to bed.
I’m just gonna write this as a log since I read super super slow and I’m only on ch 7 at the start of writing this but I’m really liking it already. Though to be fair. I love everything okita anon recommends haha. I remember you saying you were simping over Kouu and I haven’t gotten to the part where he appears but I wanted to quickly google what he looked like to prepare myself and I see this:
Well. That’s reassuring.
I was actually kinda surprised by how many western figures were in the manga since I know there are only like 7? Around 7 western figures that pop up in any anime/manga but seeing people like Albert Fish was kinda surprising but I really liked it. Also, at the end of certain chapters they write little bio’s on them so you get to know more about them was such a nice touch. I also love that the tradition of making males -> females still stays strong even outside the fate universe hehe.
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Literally, the next chapter I see him. AHHHHHHHHH. Well maybe not him but his eyeballs.
This guy lowkey reminds me of the MC’s brother but it’s 99% because he has the same long ponytail. I wouldn’t be surprised if the brother was apart of the the Greats. Honestly, Ein reminds me of those really hard headed girls that are actually really kind on the inside but aren’t good at expressing themselves (maybe because that’s pretty much her character). I also like that Ein doesn’t like males but she’s hiding behind this guy. At least, I’m..99% sure this is Ein.
I FUCKING KNEW IT. AS SOON AS I SAW HE GOT A THEIF TALENT I COULD FEEL THE SOLO LEVELING VIBES IN ME. HE CAN STEAL TALENTS I FUCKING KNEW IT!!! I’m surprised that Neumann didn’t say anything and Haito seems to be aware of it.
Edit: Ah okay, I understand a bit now but it almost seems like Haito is the only one aware of Toya’s second talent.
Edit 2: Okay, as much as I love power hungry MC’s I’m really glad they didn’t make Toya into that. I am such a softie for sympathetic and kind MC’s like these even though it’s been done so many times. I’m really glad this didn’t feel like a rehash. I mean, some points some of the stuff Toya says it does but it’s fine, I don’t mind that. I actually gave a crap about him since I usually prefer the side characters (I UNDERSTAND ANON, I CARE ABOUT KOUU SO MUCH AHHHHH) but HAITO?? AHHHHH.
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I like that Izo always has the same hat in every adaptation he’s in lol. Istg, cats are always op. Schrodinger seems so strong and the parallel universes are my absolute shit. Sometimes I think, in one universe I did this and in this universe I’m not. Would I rather stay in this universe or be in the one where I am actually productive. Usually I pick the productive universe and actually work but sometimes I’m a bit of a slacker haha. I think this is my approach to a lot of things in life. But I digress, I don’t wanna get too deep into my life.
I can sorta sympathize with the sinners. At least the ripper guy to say the least. I love love love unhinged characters that just want to basically destroy the world or at least have fun. But then you find out- wait they are actually sympathetic oh no. That’s how I felt about Djoser in “im the great priest imhotep” (please...i beg...someone read this...I’m so starved).
As much as character development and rooting for the hero is cool and all, I just want to simp for the crazy “let’s burn the world to the ground” kinda character. I’m also so glad Toya doesn’t automatically become evil and try and steal everyone’s talents because he does seem like a good person and I really don’t see him suddenly switching fields so when he saved (I don’t remember names I’m sorry), the undead solider it was really nice. Proves that he still has his humanity and isn’t strictly relying on the branch of sin.
It makes sense that he wants to steal talents since he never had one (and it was kinda out of left field when he killed Vlad and we just never addressed that ever again haha) but to see him actually consider his actions and if he actually want’s to steal his teammates talents feels right to me. Poor guy doesn’t seem to have a lot of friends so this is the first time he’s ever seemed to have companionship, aside from Haito, so I really hope he doesn’t attempt to steal their talents. I think I’m thinking of the slime? That time I got reincarnated as a slime manga/anime. Where he’s the pokemon catcher of skills. I thought that was where it was going.
But I do kinda like how selfish Haito and Toya’s talent stealing relationship is (I mean, later it develops but my first draft of writing this I wasn’t there yet). I’m not sure if selfish or like self-gratitude/pride is the right word but it’s kind of a breath of fresh air. Rather than Haito trying to contain or “help” Toya’s inferiority she’s actually encouraging it and using her own talent for her own...acknowledgement? Er, yeah let’s go with that.
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This. This interaction. I love this. Like, genuinely love this. We need more of this. Two people from opposite sides finding some common ground and their fight to the death is less about morals or whose on whose side but for themselves. I love that. This is actually some wholesome stuff.
Edit: AHHHHH CATCH MY UGLY CRYING IN THE BACK BECAUSE ALL THE “SINNERS” ARE ACTUALLY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. IM DEAD. YOU’VE KILLED ME.
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I KNEW IT! YOU CAN NEVER TRUST THESE KIND OF PEOPLE!! I’m going to slap the whiteboard on this but if I see any “goofy” character I’m immediately sus of them.
As much as I hate that Hitler is getting drawn as a small child I really like this. I know the whole, oh I killed your friends but I’m letting you go because you express humanity but I’m gonna finish my death with a sympathetic line, can be annoying to people but idk I really liked this.
Honestly this and the undead soldiers death hit me hard ngl. This manga might not have my favourite art style during some points compared to like main stream manga but it has some really beautiful scenes.
BOOM CALLED IT, though it’s pretty obvious lol.
THE PONY TAIL NEVER LIES AND HES DA VINCI IT MAKES SENSE NOW
He looks so cute lol. I like that Seiya has the talent of being talented in everything while Toya has the talent to steal other talents. Seiya can probably only cap his power by his own physical/mental abilities with Toya can pull a solo leveling and go further beyond. Thinking of it like jack of trades vs master of none type deals. Though, I might be thinking too hard on this. I like that this man is actually humble but I really wish there was a tiny bit more to him since we only get this one interaction/backstory but the manga isn’t completed yet. I really hope we get to know about Seiya more;; like how he became da vinci or etc.
Everytime I see Neumann I look at that comic sans type and it kills me on the inside. But I love that her eyes are 01 just, mwah perfection. These little details that aren’t that big but it’s soooo nice. I also ahem, unhinged character heart be still. It’s really nice reading manga in bursts because you can see the art progression and damn does she look good.
tiny fang appreciation post.
ngl i’M HARD SIMPING FOR THIS MAN. It’s the pony tail, I have such a thing for guys with long hair (and this is why genshin broke me) but man the art really picked up here.
I didn’t get into it but OKITA ANON I GET IT. KOUU??? AHHHH. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE??? As much as his whole “war” was a bit questionable in the beginning and tbh I still don’t really get it I like that he knows he’s not the same as the other Greats but still tries to help the other “sinners” in a way only he knows. That’s why Seiya was so important;; I get that he wanted them to have a fun death and to be understood but idk, the whole war idea and having them kill each other (especially the Hitler fights because I understand the others since they reached some kind of acknowledgement) but nonetheless, what a great guy.
Nightingale gives me mad masaki vibes from chainsawman. I hate them and I can’t wait for you to fail, but the inner part of my is cheering for you because unhinged characters are my shit. I feel really bad for Neumann, I had suspicions she wasn’t actually like that since it’s sooo out of left field but I’m really glad the manga seems to know what it’s doing. I really wish we got more Kouu interactions with everyone tho.
NOW THIS. THIS IS SOME WHOLESOME STUFF. I WANT THIS. I REALLY WANT SPIN-OFF OF REALLY SAD ANIME/MANGA/STORIES WHERE ALL THE DEAD PEOPLE HANG OUT. That’s how I’m feeling about JJK and the scroll segments or BSD WAN that just came out. IT’S SO WHOLESOME TO SEE EVERYONE NOT TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER.
UGLY SOBBING IN THE CLUBBB AND KOUU AND CHARLOTTE AHHHH. I hate how this is phrased but the respect I have for Hitler?? YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD THAT IS TO TYPE?? Kitazuka is cool tho, I really like him. Some god given talent. I’m hard simping over him but I really hope we get to know more about him later.
Getting smug mona vibes, I love this.
AHHH IVE NEVER FELT THIS UPSET OVER AN APPLEEEE. I’M ACTUALLY UPSET. IF HE DIES IM ACTUALLY GOING TO CRY MY HEART OUT.
THE FAMOUS SLAP
I’M SORRY WHA- SLENDERMAN?
Oh..wow. Okay, be still my heart. When I first saw her I thought she was really pretty but now I’m absolutely smitten. God damn, can I please have some more crumbs on these characters before they die;;
AHHH SAME GIRL FUCKING SAME????? I adore these small panels and translator notes. It’s a real breather after the sad 3am hours talk these characters go through.
Yagyuu. Jesus christ. WHY ARE ALL THE DEATH SCENES IN THIS MANGA ACTUALLY SO PRETTY AND STABS ME IN THE HEART??? that’s it. goodbye. im fucking out. im actually so upset rn. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?
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In conclusion, and I should probably re-read what the characters say and not go off on memory because I’m about to get really deep. I really like how they phrased why they wanted to stop the branch of sin. That there are people just like Toya and Haito who, if they never found the branch of sin, could still probably lead respectable and okay lives. That there was a “them” in another universe that didn’t go down that road and that they want to be in the same universe as “them”. I know this sounds really confusing if you haven’t read the manga but going back to what I said about the parallel universe stuff.
There was a universe where Toya and Haito didn’t rely on the branch of sin, that even without their talents from becoming a returner, they could still live a happy life given their own personalities and attitudes. It was kinda moving since in the beginning, Toya wanted a talent so badly and now that he has one. He’s realizing that wait, I don’t need a past life talent in order to live. Honestly, I hard relate to that because I totally agree with him. If you have a talent you can probably live a very happy and comfortable life that other factors wouldn’t matter if you just have that incredible talent. Thinking of it as a painter or artist, if you had actual god-given talent you wouldn’t need to worry about other factors since people would naturally seek that talent. So you end up comparing yourself to others and setting that limit on yourself.
But that’s okay, it’s completely natural and I’m not saying it’s horrible if you do this. Fuck, I do this all the time. I’m not saying the manga is changing my life but it’s kind of refreshing that it get’s talked about since other adaptations of this just make the character super OP. I understand wanting to have that incredible talent, fuck who doesn’t? but you don’t need it in order to live earnestly in the bigger picture sense. Not everything you do has to be productive and honestly, learning to be okay with having fun is nice. Just being okay with who you are right now, even if it isn’t perfect in your eyes, you still have time to build upon yourself and your own talents but doing it for yourself.
But I probably missed the point and I’m going way to deep haha. But I really enjoyed reading this and thank you once again to okita anon for the recommendation^^ I always love everything you send me and I’ll start reading the next one. If anyone else has any recommendations let me know!
#WOW WHAT A FUCKING TRAIN RIDE#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#ALRIGHT TIME TO GO CRY MY HEART OUT#JESUS THIS ACTUALLY SO BEAUTIFUL???#PLEAE PLEASE PLEASE READ IT#IK THE BEGINNING MIGHT SEEM A BIT WEIRD WITH SO MUCH INFORMATION THROWN AT YOU BUT DO IT#IT GETS SOOOO GOOD LATER#ITS GETTING SO GOOD RN BUT I NEED TO WAIT FOR UPDATES#OKITA ANON YOU ARE SUCH AN MVP FUCK I LOVE IT#BUT YOURE ALSO KILLING ME#super duper fucking i love you i actually love you mwha#okita anon#lovely anon#anon ask#reincarnation no kaben
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Wheel Of Fortune
EXO
Park Chanyeol x Reader + others
Characters: EXO
Summary: Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Chanyeol was head over heels for you but he was 100% in denial that you liked Kyungsoo.
Word Count: 1k+
Warnings: CRACK FOOL. RUN IF YOURE NOT HERE FOR THAT, jealousy, bottled emotions, fluff ending, etc.
A/N: this was TOO FLUFFY tbh. i wanted to hurt myself but it turned into fluff but oh well
let’s start at the beginning
your parents were introduced by mutual friends and started talking on the phone
okay kidding that’s too far
right
so you worked at SM
and is the maknae of a seven member coed group that debut a year after BigBang and a year before SHINee
(so 2007)
which considering the fact you were younger than Sehun by a couple of months meant you debuted at 10
just roll with it cos ITZ MY VERY SPECIFIC PLOT DMMIT
wheLP
the members were all exactly one year apart and the members from eldest to youngest,, the sequence was a guy (@ 30 yrs old), a girl (29), a guy (28), a girl (27), a guy (26), a guy (25), then you (24).
I KNOW I DONT NEED THIS BUT THIS IS HOW I IMAGINED THIS PLOT IT DMMIT
ok
since you were basically a sunbae at SM even tho u were a smol child you wanted to show your support to your hoobaes
So a day before their debut as a whole group, you, along with the eldest member of your group, who was the leader, visited EXO in the dance studio and gave moral support
You were A BIG FAN and it showed
not that you were hiding it in the first place
your leader was HIGH KEY embarrassed by you, but low key thought it was kinda cute how excited you were for this song
so dUH EXO dances growl for you
anD YOU NEARLY SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST BECAUSE OF HOW PERFECT EVERYTHING WAS
Luhan’s voice
Baekhyun’s attitude
Sehun’s resting bitch face
eeeerrrrrthing
YOU WERE ON THE FLOOR SCREAMING
literally
and Junmyeon thought you were adOrAbLE
“I think she malfunctioned,” your leader gave a face and pushed you on the shoulder to see if you were still breathing as you let out a silent scream
“CAN YOU GUYS DO IT ONE MORE TIME”
?????
Jongin was too out of breath to fight you
but lol u know what
they did dance again for you
BECAUSE YALL HAD THE CUTEST LIL FACE AND YOU WERE LIKE 16 SO
after that your band and exo were pretty much in one group
like hella tight
you were bsicly conjoined twinss
You could be at an award show and your table would be abandoned because you decided to sit with exo or vice versa
HYPING EACH OTHER WAS NOT EVEN HYPE ANYMORE BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE YOU GUYS WERE RABID OR SOMETHING WTF
!!!!CALM!!!!!DOWN!!!!
like you + your group to them:
“thtAS MY CHILd!”
“DID YOU SEE YIXING AND HIS HIPS FUCK YOU BITCH!”
“HE WAS RUDE. THAT WAS RUDE. THAT’S NOT ALLOWED”
“GET OFF THE STAGE SLUT”
“WWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP BITCH!”
“~~~that was sooooooo sOFYT”
“CHEN STFU! YOU NEED TO STOP USING THAT DAMN VOICE OF YOURS JONGDAE. THATS ILLEEEEEGAL!”
“myY HERT!”
“OPPA *cries in korean* PLESS!”
“WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY!!!!!?“
‘iN fRonT oF MY sALaD”
“PA$$ THE H01Y W4T3R”
“NO KAI. BAD KAI. STTOOOOPPPP.”
you @ baekyun
baekyun @ you
thIS IS A CHANYEOL HEADCANON BUT I LOOK AT THIS FUCKIN MORON WHO I HATE SO MUCH SOMEONE SAVE HIM FROM HIS IDIOCY
them to you + your group:
“first of all fuck, second FUCK”
“wh-- whT WHAS THAT HIP MOVEMENT. U ARE 4 YRS OLD”
“HE did t h a t.”
“NOOOOOONNNNNNNNNAAAAA ch0k3 me”
“I CANT HEAR YOU OVER U BEING SUCH A HOE”
“i cant beLIEVE THIS STADIUM IS SO QUIET” *ears are actually bleeding*
“NOt TODaY S4T4N”
“I DIDNT ASK FOR THIS”
“how does this have 300M views????? ONLY 300M I--”
“GAAAAAHHHHH WHAT WAS THAT MOVE WHT WAS IT”
“my soul has been touched”
“this is TOOOOOOOO much ma lord”
“DID YOU JUST RIP YOUR SHIRT OFF?“
“TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF!”
“ASDFRTYUJM ive been shot”
ya dig
it’s not verbal abuse if they can’t hear you cause of the bass and the fact your on stage performing
but like
you guys did everything together
practiced
ate
shopped
toured
pranked
T O G E T H E R
like who else in SM mattered
SHINee who?
JK YOUWERE A SHAWOL THROUGH AND THROUGH
you reassure Minho everytime unless you wanted to die that day
YOu EVEN FANGIRLED OVER TAEMIN’s MOVE WITH MINSEOK
BUT YOU OBVI you had MORE THAN ENOUGH ROOM TO BE AN EXO-L and an elf and a cassie and a so-won and DONT FOrget a vip and a---
you get the point
ANYWAY
as you were close with everyone you had a special bond with every individual
YALL STILL TEXT WITH YA BOY KRIS
yOU WENT ON A SHOW IN CHINA WITH LUHAN
TAO LEAVES PUKE COMMENTS ON YOUR INSTA POSTS
my ot12
and as much as you say you are equally close with everyone
errbody knows that be bull the size of russia
yall caNNOT dENy that you and chanyeol have the same crack powder on your philtrums
LIKE KYUNGSOO CANNOT LIVE WHEN YOU TWO ARE TOGETHER
LET HIM LIVEEEEEE
this moment must never die
ya boy be mindin his own business then
BAM BITCH
you and chanyeol be makin D.O. cray af
rest assured he HAS thought of how he’d kill both of you
ANd that’s why chanyeol loves you
like he decided he liked you the moment you lost your breath laughing when he threw a rubber duck at Kyunggsoo’s head, making it squeak in the most demented way no one thought possible
but he knew he loved you when you helped him lighten up on one of his dark days
you had that kind of effect on people
i mean all you did was sit down with him, both of your backs leaned up against each other’s, head occasionally leaning against the other’s head or shoulder, and played some nothings on the guitar and ukulele
but that was more than enough
you were there with him
and that’s what mattered
But literally the moment he accepted his feelings for you
he began to notice something he felt 100000% dumb for not seeing before
the way you laugh when Kyungsoo says a lame-ass joke
the way you always hug him from behind
you did that with literally everyone you were close with sure,
but Chanyeol noticed you did it with him more
and he 3
there was also the way you were just always winding up next to Soo when he was around, like he had some sort of magnet on him
and how you just liked poking his cheeks, begging him to show his dimples
which were really faint like gurl--
chANYEOL HAD DIMPLES TOO
CHANYEOL HAS DIMPLES
why daheq did you like his close to nonexistent ones?????????
????????
okay you liked poking Lay’s dimples more
look at my boy, who i love with burning passion ANDWILL DESTROY SM FOR BECAUSE HE JUST WANTS TO BE WITH HIS BAND SM SM SM!!!!! CHINA KOREA POLITICS FK ALL YALL
and suho
and chen
anD FINE--
yeah you did poke his too
literally anyone who remotely has dimples tbh
BT WHY KYUNGSOO
ads;ajsd;lasjdkas #jelly
so chanyeol decides to ask someone about it
so he obviously goes to his wisest hyung
but the day he wants to talk to Suho, YOU WERE ON A DATE WITH HIM
like a date but not a date date he could tell
BUT A DATE NONETHELESS AND HE WAS KINDA JELLY
so he goes to Baekhyun for some fucking reason
and he’s like “omg u like her i couLDnt FUCKING TELL FROM ALL THE HEARTS IN TH AIR”
instant regret
but like Baek did give him some advice
like 5% was advice
the other 99% was him screaming to just be a man and tell her
so chanyeol is like, “STFU.... also she likes kyungsoo so fml”
and for a hot second Baekhyun has nothing to say
BAEKHYUN HAS NOTHING TO SAY
“idek dude. this is why i flirted with her openly”
Chanyeol punched him for saying that
but he decides he’s going to tell you after like 231109 years
cos Jongdae said you don’t like Kyungsoo and that he’s sure of it
Chanyeol asked how he was sure and he was just all like
“she had a crush on Sungmin hyung before and DID NOT act like that at all.”
That made Chanyeol a lot more hopeful
So he just went for it
and asked if you wanted to get lunch
and then after eating, you guys walked back
and he just sort of blurted it out
“Joahaeyo.”
you just looked at him and chuckled, “Thank you. I like you too, Yeolie.”
bitch are you for real rn
before Chanyeol could clarify, your walking slowed, “I’ve known for a while now.”
ok
wait
w h a t
“Minseok oppa told me.”
?????????? uhm HOW DID HE KNOW
Chanyeol’s hands were waterfalls atm, “Why did he tell you?”
Your face starts burning red and chanyeol cant help but think of it as a bad sign
“I told him I liked him...”
“... and he said he can’t reciprocate because he knows you like me, and that he can’t do that to his dongsaeng.”
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
cool story bro
you liked someone in EXO that was NOT him
cool cool cool
I GUESS CHEN WAS RIGHT
THANKS
wait did that mean chanyeol was this obvious
wait did that mean chanyeol ruined your chances with his hyung
wait was this why you cried that one time
WaiT WAS THIS WHY YOU HUNG AROUND KYUNGSOO
BECAUSE WHENEVER MINSEOK WAS IN THE ROOM, YOU WOULD GET KINDA STIFF AT A POINT AND KYUNGSOO MAKE A JOKE TO MAKE YOU LAUGH
WASTHIS WHY YOU TWO HUNG OUT MORE
WHY HADN’T HE NOTICED
AND IF EVERYONE ELSE DID
WHY DIDNT THEY TELL HIM
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chanyeol frowned and called out your name, proceeding to apologize
“Wae? why are you sorry? did you tell minseok to say that to me?“
he couldn’t feel mushy and weird at what you said
“YA dont tell me youre going to be weird around me too. It’s bad enough Minseok oppa distanced himself a bit.”
Chanyeol couldn’t help but be angry, sad, protective, and annoyed all at once at what you just admitted to him
“I’ll tell him to stop.”
You pouted, “you don’t have to tell anyone anything, chanyeol.”
“yes but you don’t deserve to feel awkward around anyone.”
“yes but that was minseok oppa’s choice.”
“yes but he was only doing that because he’s my hyung and he’s dumb.”
“yes but--
OU KNOW WHAT WHY DONT WE ALL JUST BE AWKWARD AROUND EACH OTHER”
and so you walked forward fast and tried to ignore chanyeol
Chanyeol, with his freakishly long legs caught up with you though
he caught your arm
“What tf are you doing?“
“Ew dont talk to me its awkward. im awkward. your awkward.”
Chanyeol laughed. “yaaaaa, why do i like you?
“THAT’S WHAT IM THINKING HO”
#crack fic#exo headcanon#chanyeol headcanon#chanyeol x reader#chanyeol fluff#chanyeol angst#chanyeol fanfic#exo fanfic#kyungsoo x reader#park chanyeol#park chanyeol x reader#do kyungsoo fluff#park chanyeol smut#park chanyeol fanfic#park chanyol fluff#exo fluff#exo angst#exo smut#minseok fluff#minseok fanfic#minseok headcanon#kyungsoo headcanon#chanyeol crack#exo crack#crack headcanon#exo crack headcanon#chanyeol crack headcanon#chanyeol crack fic#miseok x reader#chanyeol gif
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OH FUCK U GUYS SHOULD I BUY ALL THE KINDGOM HEARTS IN A ONCENESS???
Holy jesus i knew they did hd ps4 ports of the playstation games but they ALSO added all the final mix content that engkishspeaking fans never got during my childhood? And they ALSO remade chain of memories entireky in 3d with Very Animated Ice Dad?? And they ALSO remade BBS despite it not needing it nearly as much as the old games and thet ALSO remade friggin dream drop distance which came out on a goddamn current gen console?? Like they seriously just made a non portable version?? Now all the spinoffs are on the same console at last?? Why did you not just do this in the first place?? I mean the psp and 3ds games were basically ps2 equivelant graphics and disc space anyway...
Oh and fuckin ALLLLSOOOOO
Also the final mixes of all of those! Also a movie version of the plot of khux! And also Coded and Days, which is a really big shame cos Coded is indeed sparse enough on content to deserve it but Days was my FAVOURITE GAME and it sucks its the only one that didnt get remade! I mean its in the same spinoff category as bbs and com, its not a cheapo mess like coded. Nothing else in the series deserves to be shoved in the Coded bin, even khux at least has better plot even if the backtracking and lootbox shit makes it harder to get to it...
Anyway ALSO a random new sidestory with Aqua going thru like one dungeon or somethin?? I dunno?? Its like a glorified tech demo for kh3, its just 'hey fuckin look what we can do visually on a proper ps4 game' and wow how have i never fuckin heard of this it looks so pretty!! I mean i dont know if its even more than 5 hours or somethin but.. Pretty!! And apparantly you get unlockable costumes for her or somethin? I hope they keep that feature in kh3! Itd rock if it wasnt just the main character too, and we could dress up riku and kairi and goofy and donald and roxas and axel and every the friends :3 new secret to how they defeat xehanort: slap a bow on his damn head
ALSO ALSO
All of this is available in one big bundle pack for £90 which ALSO contains literally kh3. THIS IS HOW THEYRE HANDLING PREORDERS?? THATS SUCH A GOOD WAY TO HANDLE PREORDERS!! Get a discounted price on this new game but while youre waiting for it you get to enjoy an (also discounted) giant fuckin 300 hours memory lane compilation of every damn thing from the last 15 years in one beautiful updated package. Holy fuck its like they made this for ME SPECIFICALLY!this is the perfect way to get people back into the franchise who dropped off in The Great KH3 Wait cos they couldnt afford all the damn million portables needed to gather that Dank Lore. God fuckin hell it cost more than the price of this bundle just to play any one of those games individually on some stupid retro machine i bought exclusively for that one damn game. THAT PSP STILL ROTS IN MY KITCHEN CUPBOARD YO
So
So so so so so
Guys
Please give me permission to buy this
Or like please convince me not to waste my money if you think i'd waste my money??
I really just DONT KNOW! ive been out of the fandom for so long and my last experience was really hatting BBS and feeling horribly out of place as everyone else raved about it being the best thing ever. And i know NOTHING about what kh3 is gonna be or whether its even possible for me to get back into the fandom and like.. Care about it at all again. I just got fuckin fatigued with it and my teenage years were like me clinging on to the edge of a cliff by my fingernails begging everyone to believe me that Its Still Good, Honestly, Its Worth It while square enix is up there all LONG LIVE THE KING and they push me off. Into a stampede of PSPs. Somehow.
And then aaargh i know i literally only came back to the fandom because organization xiii fuckin eternally holds my heart in their lil grabby hands. It was indeed a good nostalgic moment remembering how i loved them! And getting a new appreciation for Vexen and being blown away by how much he should have been my favourite but i just never got to play COM as a kid and then when i played it as an adult all the way after bbs i ended up quitting before even getting to meet half the org cos this one stupid 'defeat 99 shadows jn 99 seconds' mission kicked my ass. I'M JUST NOT GOOD AT ACTION RPGS OKAY!
Aaaagh thats another Big Worry, yknow? Like asa kid i was Bad, as an adult i'm Barely Better , and as a both i never enjoyed beat em up thingies of any kind at all. And on top of that i was never big into disney, i never saw them as any sort of 'childhood magic' but just some naff cliche shit retelling public domain fairy tales in the safest way possible with a bunch of obnoxious celebrity cameos. Also lion king and snow white terrified me as a kid. Also i associated robin hood with my dead grandma. Also as a kid i couldnt appreciate good artistic ability or voiceacting, i was all about the story, yknow? And most of kh's adaptations are really rushed and barebones versions of an already shoddy story, without any of the visual splendor. ALSO i never saw any of the darker or more emotionally focused stuff like Hunchback and Beauty and the Beast until way after i quit playing kingdom hearts, oddly enough. Wtf beauty and thebeast is actually real good and looks so far beyond its time!! Wtf hunchback has my goddamn evil dad in it!! Why did i miss the only good didneys!! Why did snow white traumatize me and those didnt!!
ANYWAY the point im getting at is that im not inherantly predisposed to like.. Any of kingdom hearts's appeal at all. I didnt know half the disneys and i didnt have any hype for the others. None of my fave final fantasy games made it into it until the sequel and then never again after that. CMON I CANT JUST DEAL WITH ONE VIVI CAMEO Y'ALL! And i haaaate the genre and its an uphill struggle to play a game like that with my stupid inelegant sausage hands. So i just came for the story and then everything after the first game has been conspiring to ruin it for me, sheesh! I felt so much for that short concise self contained first episode and then i fall more and more out of love as they establish this status quo of everything being retconnable so dont bother get attatched to it. Blablabla the entire worldbuilding is different now and everyone was secretly someone else and please memorize a bunch of shit from fifty fuckin spinoffs and also time travel and cloning suddenly exist and ALSO Grandpa Onlyblackmanintheworld is generic motiveless evil and everything was him even of it looked like it was actually a sympathetic villain. *insert dio meme face*
So yeah now im just.. In it for the characters?? And the cute art style and monsters and lovely animations and big fanfic oc potentials stuff. But man even tho i had Big Feel for those things i was able to completely drop it all and forget about the series for years, that was just HOW BAD the kh3 drought was. Steven universe hiatus eat your heart out...
So ffff i dont even KNOW if i'll be able to get feels'd for these characters again or if they actually hold up to modern bunni standards of huggable. And i know all the ones i want to hug the most got like zero sympathy and all died horribly and were also retroactively revealed to be clone oldmanvirus somethingy and aaaaaagh. But also something something people say they all came back and got cured?? And this is why?? I am here?? Again?? And buying?? The thing??
Like man fuck i am already building it up so much in my head aaaa what if i dont actually love axel as much as i used to love axel and i dont love Grumply Science as much as i always love That Character Archetype seriously MAN how was he like THE ONLY ONE I DIDNT GET TO SEE AS A KID
Aaauuuuaggh gahhh like maybe this will reignite my passion for the series or maybe i'll just be all critical and dumb and waste all my moneys
Guys... What do??
#tho i mean i did see the five seconds of vexen u get in days and i know generally what he's like from wikis and fanart#i just mean that i dont know how he really is in his actual starring game and whether any of the sympathetic dadness is canon#plz do#i wanna cry for dad#i mean u made me suddenly cry for saix and ship him with axel as soon as all that stuff was revealed in bbs#i also never finished bbs so i dont know how much we got to learn about apprentice era vexen and baby zexion#like is it actually canon that vexen was his fathee figure? do you actyally see them being cute?#or are people just theorizing?#its so hard to know whats theories in this fandom cos when u waited for a sequel for almost a decade there are a lot of theories lol
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