Tatsumi in !! Music: Aww, look at these kids. Oh, to be young again Me: My brother in Christ, you are 18

Nagisa and Sakuma in Road to Show: Gotta be adults and let the kids enjoy themselves while we grown ups take care of the work Me: Guys, you haven't even graduated from university

Keito to Kiryu: Gotta take care of our child Souma Me: ????? He's just a grade younger than you both???

Knights seniors: Must protect our adorable king from the horrors of the world Me: HE'S LIKE 3 YEARS YOUNGER THAN THE OLDEST OF YOU AND HIS FAMILY HAS ASSASSINS

Kiryu @ Kanata in the anime: As Ryuseitai's mom, you should help out its dad with the kids Me: "Mom" and "Dad" are still HIGH SCHOOLERS

Ransom: Sigtrygrr

Author’s Note: Backkk to the Last Kingdom writing! I love Sigtrygrr, if you haven’t watched season four this doesn’t have any spoilers, but it just shows a new character that is on the Show! My taglist and requests are open! Happy Sunday and Happy reading!

Requested: Could you write a Sigtryggr imagine where the reader is the chieftain's daughter, and sig kidnaps her for ransom. The reader stays in Sigtrygrr's tent for the night, where she tries to kill him in his sleep. But he wakes up and is unnervingly calm about it, and the two have some sort of chemistry. It could be smutty if you like.

Warnings: None, first part of three part series. Sooooo more to come.

Pairing: Sigtrygrr X Reader

The Last Kingdom Masterlist

“If she screams, cut out her tongue. No one is to touch her.” The wild-haired man had a mild voice. It was unsettling. He glanced over at you and smiled. The pristine look of innocence touched his eyes before he gave you a small nod and turned out of the tent. “I will return within the hour.”

It had been a day since the men had stormed your father’s hall and took whatever gold and silver they could get their hands on and then you. It was easier to kidnap and raid when the men were off fighting somewhere, cowards. You sat in the corner eyeing the place for weapons; like most Danes, there was bound to be one lying around here. Nothing. You pushed aside the furs searching for anything, and finally, a small dagger fell onto the floor. Quickly you tucked the leather holster into your shirt.  They’d already searched you, the chances of it happening again were slim.

Minutes faded into hours, or at least it felt like once your eyes started to grow weary. You closed your eyes and covered yourself in blankets, and slept sitting up, prepared for whatever they may try.

“Let me see the little bastard.” The slurred voice from outside of the tent boomed.

And now it started, the drunken state of men was sure to make your life a miserable hell, but you didn’t hide, you welcomed the intruder. You’d cut his tongue out and throw it in the face of that asshole who’d threatened you earlier. The tent opened, and the cool breeze brushed in.

“Lie down, you whore.” His face was disgruntled, brow furrowed and eyes glassed over. “Or squirm if you like… I like my women to have some fight in them.” The barrage of chuckles from outside the tent only made your heart beat harder. His belt fell to the floor, and the wool pants he wore started to slip. There he was almost naked from the waist down, and you had no fear. You’d just kill the asshole, and if he took your life, then the valkyries were sure to lead you to the gates of Valhalla.

“Do not touch me. I am Magnusdottir.” He stepped towards you, and you just watched, waited for him to make his move.

“Shut up.” He laughed.

He moved closer to you, and the smell of ale and woods hit your nose. Your stomach riled. You clutched the thick string of the necklace around your throat, Thor’s hammer Mjollnir was given to you by your father when you were younger. He claimed it was carved by Ragnar Lothbrok, it was there for protection. “Allfather,” You whispered. “Give me the strength.”

The spatter of blood hit your face before the drunken man fell back, gurgling his blood. “My instructions were simple.”

“Sigtryggr.” He growled, rolling to his side, cupping the blood that dripped from his mouth. He stood on wavering legs.

“Get some sleep.” Sigtrygrr pulled the chair close to you and took his seat. “Now, Leidolf.”

Leidolf left staggering, and you looked up to your captor. “I am not afraid of you.”

“Of course you are,” He chuckled, poured water into the curved horn, and handed it to you. “Drink.”

You didn’t deny the water, your throat ached from all the screaming earlier in the day. The cool water hit the back of your throat, and you breathed deep before gulping down more. Then your stomach rumbled, you hadn’t eaten in nearly a day.

“You can eat after we talk.” He crossed his legs. “Do you know who I am?”

“I do not.”

“I am Sigtrygrr.” Sigtrygrr placed his large hands on his chest.

“Spare me the introductions.” Upon hearing his name, you knew him, and you knew all about his glorious victories on the battlefield. Sigtrygrr was young and revered throughout Irland and Denmark. But in England he was a no one. He had to make his mark here. This was why he had taken you, a first step into establishing who he was while gaining a stronger following. You were a chest piece.

“And you are Y/N, daughter of the richest and without a doubt the most traitorous man of our people.”

“My father is not treacherous.” He did not interrupt you, he just stared attentively as you continued to talk. “My father has fought in his battles! He wants what is best for his family.”

Nothing. Sigtrygrr smiled, and the silence filled the room. “What do you want for me?” The silence in the closed area made it easy for him to hear the protests of your empty stomach.

“I want nothing from you; I only wish to broker a trader with your father.” He clapped his hands. “Leidolf, bring her some food. Her stomach continues to talk louder in this conversation than either of us.”

You scoffed. “I’d rather eat at home.”

“Or you can starve?”

“Fine.”

He took the plate from Liedolf and handed it to you. And you scarfed down the food, satisfied with the portions that he gave you. “Tell me about North Umbria?”

“I know nothing of it.”

“Your father conquered more than half of its lands. I know you know of it.” He perched back in the chair, raising the front legs from the ground. “I like conversing, so if you were honest with me, this would flow better.”

“It seems that you know more than enough.”

“Fine, we don’t have to talk. Sleep.” In a fluid motion, he took the plate and tossed it outside.  “Tomorrow, your father is likely to arrive, and then we can decide which limb to toss to him.” He smiled and laid back on the pallet of blankets. “Sleep well.”

 It didn’t take much time for Sigtrygrr to find sleep, the soft snores came from him within an hour. The darkness had swept over the camp. From the shadows, you could see the two guards at the entrance. Sigtrygrr was trusting or dumb. The sword at the side of the bed could easily be used to impale him while he slept. You cared less if he was polite or not, you wanted to return home.

Climbing onto the pallet, you moved stealthily, avoiding contact with him until you were over him with the steel of the dagger pressed to the nape of his neck. His eyes opened, not shocked, frightened, or even nervous. His eyes appeared welcoming. “This knife belonged to my father.” He whispered. “With it, he cut the eyes out of 100 Saxons and fed them to the ravens.” Sigtrygrr cleared his throat. “He said their eyes were not worthy of him, arrogant and confident he returned the heads to King Ecbert… and screamed at his gates for a worthy adversary.”

“I prefer not to hear the old tales of your father.”

“Well,” He easily pushed your hand from his neck. “If you were to kill me… I’d be disappointed you chose this dagger to do it. I am a worthy adversary of your father… this death would be unfair.” He said with a smirk. He reached for the weighted sword and handed it to you. “Here you are.”

It wasn’t fair; even with no weapon, Sigtrygrr had found a way to win a quarrel. You tossed the sword to the ground. “I do not think you honorable.”

“Good, that surely was not my intention.”

“Why are you doing this? Ambition, fame? Neither is worth it.”

“A man with no ambition hasn’t a right to be called a man at all. Now, if you’re antics are of Magnusdottir. I’d like to sleep.”

Even in the darkness, you could see the grin on his face. The youthfulness of Sigtrygrr was only in looks, his intellect gave him years of advantages you’d never seen.

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Do all of them.

fuck you nick fine

200: My crush’s name is: haha she follows me so no199: I was born in: California 198: I am really: hella dope197: My cellphone company is: sprint, what the fuck kinda question196: My eye color is: brown195: My shoe size is: like 9194: My ring size is: I’m not sure193: My height is: 5′8192: I am allergic to: Absolutely Nothing191: My 1st car was: haha i can’t drive190: My 1st job was: Working for my dad I guess189: Last book you read: Interview With The Vampire188: My bed is: A mess187: My pet: 4 cats named Delilah, L.E., Perro, and Mallory186: My best friend: Michael Gregorio Trainstation, i think his name was, its been a while, he moved to idaho like 30 years ago185: My favorite shampoo is: that one from my childhood that looks like a fish184: Xbox or ps3: ecks bawks183: Piggy banks are: a metaphor for greed? I dunno, they’re neat182: In my pockets: nothin at the moment 181: On my calendar: many photos of my friend brenton180: Marriage is: something that requires a lot of thought179: Spongebob can: and will find you178: My mom: is the best177: The last three songs I bought were?176: Last YouTube video watched: probably a podcast175: How many cousins do you have?: at least 12? probably more, I have 9 uncles on my dads side alone, and most of them have kids, so174: Do you have any siblings? older brother, younger sister173: Are your parents divorced? nah 172: Are you taller than your mom? yes171: Do you play an instrument? I play a pretty sub par piano170: What did you do yesterday? kicked the shit out of my friends at party games[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: logically no, but 168: Luck: Yeah pretty much167: Fate: Sort of166: Yourself: ye165: Aliens: yep164: Heaven: I like to163: Hell: nope, well, not exactly162: God: in some form or another161: Horoscopes: nah 160: Soul mates: I like the idea159: Ghosts: Sure158: Gay Marriage: Hell yeah157: War: no bueno, unless its like, against some super actual evil I guess156: Orbs: I don’t know what this means, the shape? yes?155: Magic: sure[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: both? i can’t decide153: Drunk or High: Drunk152: Phone or Online: Online151: Red heads or Black haired: Redheads150: Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes149: Hot or cold: Cold148: Summer or winter: Winter147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn146: Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate145: Night or Day: day144: Oranges or Apples: Oranges143: Curly or Straight hair:142: McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk Chocolate140: Mac or PC: PC139: Flip flops or high heals: I dunno138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Sweet and Poor, the fuck kinda question137: Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi, but only because cherry pepsi exists136: Hillary or Obama: Obama135: Burried or cremated: I like to ignore my mortality mostly134: Singing or Dancing: as a thing for me to do; Singing, but I like watching other people dance 133: Coach or Chanel: I don’t uh, I don’t care132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who131: Small town or Big city: Small town130: Wal-Mart or Target: kmart, fuck you129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben Stiller128: Manicure or Pedicure: fuck if i know127: East Coast or West Coast: west coast126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas125: Chocolate or Flowers: Flowers, sure124: Disney or Six Flags: I’m told that my answer should be disney, but i’ve never been to either123: Yankees or Red Sox: sport sport sport sport[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: Its bad121: George Bush: would make a pretty fun neighbor120: Gay Marriage: its good119: The presidential election: a trainwreck118: Abortion: none of my business117: MySpace: rip116: Reality TV: i used to be all about it115: Parents: pretty much the coolest114: Back stabbers: not good113: Ebay: an important step towards the existence of amazon112: Facebook: damn millenials 111: Work: another day another dollar, sir110: My Neighbors: santaman is pretty cool109: Gas Prices: haha i don’t drive108: Designer Clothes: hella107: College: expensive106: Sports: sport sport sport sport105: My family: pretty okay, there are lots104: The future: we’ll see what happens[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: yesterday probably102: Last time you ate: yesterday101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: saturday, I saw caylen, hadn’t seen him for a couple weeks100: Cried in front of someone: midway last year I think, I had a weird unexplained pretty bad panic attack out of nowhere99: Went to a movie theater: a few days ago, I saw Your Name, it was good98: Took a vacation:  months ago probably97: Swam in a pool: I don’t remember96: Changed a diaper: Probably never95: Got my nails done: Never?94: Went to a wedding: I think my best friends was the last one I went to, it was august 2016 I guess?93: Broke a bone: Never92: Got a peircing: Never91: Broke the law: Couple weeks ago maybe?90: Texted: last night[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: too difficult everyone I know is hilarious88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my family87: The last movie I saw: Your Name, it was really good86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: leaving town for a bit, in the near future, to my friends in redding for a bit, in the later future, to fort bragg to camp 85: The thing im not looking forward to: potentially running into a specific person who I think hates me now 84: People call me: a pretty funny guy83: The most difficult thing to do is: let go of people82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: no81: My zodiac sign is: taurus80: The first person i talked to today was: Enrique79: First time you had a crush: Like first grade78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: Michael Gorgon Trombone, i think his name was, my best friend, he moved to idaho like a hundred years ago77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Probably the other day76: Right now I am talking to: nobody75: What are you going to do when you grow up: I guess I want to go to school for psychology74: I have/will get a job: at some point73: Tomorrow: never dies72: Today: gonna hang out with a couple of chuckleheads i guess71: Next Summer: Who knows70: Next Weekend: I’ll have just gotten back into town and will probably go to a friends house to play boardgames69: I have these pets: cats, dogs68: The worst sound in the world: nail filing67: The person that makes me cry the most is: I dunno, I haven’t really cried in a while66: People that make you happy: all my friends and most of my family65: Last time I cried: like last year64: My friends are: interesting and cool63: My computer is: okay62: My School: will not be that bad61: My Car: haha i don’t drive60: I lose all respect for people who: hurt others59: The movie I cried at was: I don’t remember the last time I cried at a movie58: Your hair color is: Black, naturally, but I dyed it a different color for a while, which required bleaching, so its sorta fading into a weird light color now57: TV shows you watch: lots, i’ve been really into my hero academia lately56: Favorite web site: all websites are bad55: Your dream vacation: like a cabin somewhere in the mountains54: The worst pain I was ever in was: probably when my appendix burst53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium rare52: My room is: not utilized properly, its big, but its too messy and cluttered, gotta fix that at some point 51: My favorite celebrity is: i dunno, NPH or something 50: Where would you like to be: somewhere norther with someone I care about49: Do you want children: I’m neutral48: Ever been in love: yeah lots47: Who’s your best friend: michaelangelo Gardengnome Teatime, he moved to idaho an indeterminate amount of time ago46: More guy friends or girl friends: I have more guy friends than girl friends, if thats what this is asking45: One thing that makes you feel great is: when people tell me what my positive traits are, or mention that they thought of me, I guess44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Probably Mike Gatorade Turbulence, I always want to hang with that fool43: Do you have a 5 year plan: not really, more like a general idea42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: loosely41: Have you pre-named your children: I’ve thought of it, but like Idk if I’ll have kids40: Last person I got mad at: myself probably39: I would like to move to: somewhere north, washington or oregon maybe, on a large property thats mostly wilderness that I own, haha38: I wish I was a professional: entertainer, probably[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: recess cups I guess36: Vehicle: I think motorcycles are cool35: President: Teddy Roosevelt I guess34: State visited: I’ve only really visited Idaho so I guess it wins by default33: Cellphone provider: If I say anything other than sprint they’ll make me disappear32: Athlete: Usain Bolt is pretty cool31: Actor: I like Michael Fassbender lately, RDJ is also cool, this is a hard question30: Actress: this is a harder question I’ll just say betty white  29: Singer: probably Damien Verrett of The Speed of Sound in Seawater/So Much Light, or Sean Bonnette of AJJ28: Band: AJJ27: Clothing store: do thrift stores count26: Grocery store: i dunno i guess the one up the street25: TV show: Over The Garden Wall maybe24: Movie: I dunno, uh, I like Kung Fu Hustle a lot23: Website: the internet was a mistake22: Animal: cats, or crows21: Theme park: I don’t uh, I haven’t20: Holiday: Christmas or Halloween 19: Sport to watch: combat juggling18: Sport to play: does catch count17: Magazine: I dunno, national geographic or something16: Book: there’s too many I can’t answer this15: Day of the week: saturday I guess14: Beach: Caspar13: Concert attended: Golden Youth I think, is one that I went to, with my friend? its the only one I really remember, I don’t go to concerts really, I went to an Earth Wind and Fire concert as a little kid too I guess12: Thing to cook: Top Ramen is the height of my abilities11: Food: I dunno, pizza or something, whatever’s hip with the kids, no wait, sushi10: Restaurant: Ikkyu9: Radio station: whatever it is my mom listens to, classic rock?8: Yankee candle scent: I don’t know candle scent names so I’ll just come up with one; “Civilian Casualties”7: Perfume: uh, I don’t know perfume names so I’ll just come up with one “I never heard from her again”6: Flower: Uh, I like most of them5: Color: Blue, also I really like, oranges/reds in nature, like leaves, and hair, and stuff like that4: Talk show host: Eric Andre, but if we mean like actual talk shows, then Conan I guess3: Comedian: Dave Chappelle 2: Dog breed: I like many, maybe german shepards or border collies I dunno1: Did you answer all these truthfully? More or lessfuck you nick this took like 2 hours