its so silly but i just keep thinking abt being in norway and seeing for the first time kinda ever that like governments can do things to make peoples life better. for no other reason but just to improve things. like im sure norway has lots of problems i didnt see on a trip but i cannot stress how insane it was that the government had done things because it would be nice. to take care of people. ?????

i started writing this in the tags on bulk's post but i got pretty off topic so i'm just gonna put it here.

whenever theres a conflict in night vale, i like think about whats going on in the real world. finknor are really really good at satirizing very real and heavy issues and somehow finding ways to bring out the beauty and awe and community that can exist no matter how bleak things seem- it’s a huge part of what i love about wtnv.

this arc and janet specifically is so interesting to me because of exactly this. 

i think part of why we're so obsessed with lubelle as a villain is bc we KNOW she's the villain. we can see her disrupting the town and using her language and “logical explanations” to get rid of things she doesn't like- to get rid of that which makes her uncomfortable. its satisfying for us to hear cecil call for the town to shut her out! its satisfying to hear of the town storming her campus, confronting her and calling her out as being in the wrong! its satisfying to know that, by the end of this season, things will be resolved in some way that leaves us feeling hopeful. that things might look different, that dynamics might change and characters will have changed, but that there is some sort of resolution coming. 

it’s also heartbreaking (though very fun from strictly a storytelling perspective) to see that the efforts cecil and the town have made so far aren’t working. it’s heartbreaking to hear cecil be at such a loss as to what he can do, to try to avoid violence for carlos’ sake, to feel hopeless. to watch him put his trust and hope in someone who is promising freedom from janet's tyranny only for that to be shattered.

sometimes i wish i could go grab a pitchfork and storm on the people who are trying to explain away the existence of people i love. i would be lying if i said i didn’t sometimes feel at a loss as to what i can do- as to what authority figures i can trust, where i can put my hope. sometimes i want to yell on public radio for everyone to shut out the hateful, hurtful people in power. sometimes i feel paralyzed like i imagine carlos has in this arc. i don’t know that there will be a neat resolution to everything going on in the world right now, but i am trying to remember that there ARE people taking action. that there are people trying to make the world a better place, who want good for everyone around them. that there ARE people marching and yelling for change. that there IS beauty and awe and good and community no matter how bleak things feel. idk. i might be projecting too much here but also isn’t that what art and story is all about? just… i love this narrative bc its fun and exciting, but also bc it is such a brilliant mirror being held up to world rn. and now im gonna go back to hoping cecil is kidnapped and so so sad and scared and hoping that steve carlsburg will use his hope and love of his community and unique knowledge and perspective to save the day. or carlos or whatever. sorry im so insane ab this little podcast.

ok hold on im here with my band thoughts about riptide the musical. full disclosure this may not make sense i tried to be coherent.

i think that in the dunjon the orchestra would get real spooky during this. I ALSO REALLY WOULD LIKE SOMETHING CHOIR GOING ON IN THE BACKGROUND. what im thinking is like op 32 - 7 neptune, the mystique by gustav holst. they have an all female choir that sings this really nice chord and adds a lot to the song. this would mainly play while gillion stands before the elders and i think it would be interesting to play with the idea of the key and melody instrument changing between trials. i ALSO think it would add to the whole "this isnt real. but you dont know that" idea if the song stayed the same. no matter the scene.

assigning characters certain instrument melodies like how they do how to train your dragon is SUCH a cool idea to me. i think gillions motif would be played by a french horn. not too sure on the notes but definitely something with those typical heroic tones. chips would be played by a bassoon. hear me out on this. i actually dont have any reasoning. its just vibes alone. jay tripped me up for a bit due to her more complex character, but i think she would be played by bell chimes

going back to arrangements matching certain scenes i can TOTALLY imagine the island of zero scenes with movement three of west highlands sojourn as it is primarily navy based. (this is totally a bias since i play this piece for my competition this year. but i just generally really like west highlands sojourn)

i think it would be SUPER cool to have band involvement on stage. im not sure if this goes across for all productions, but i once saw a high school production of Catch Me if you can in which the jazz band was directly on stage in certain scenes. in certain scenes like the casino arc, anytime they enter a tavern, or just a place where there's street performers. having just soloist or a small ensemble on stage would be SO incredible. i think it would be so cool if the whole band was up there during the noctis like fancy party all dressed up. god id go insane.

i think anytime theres a navy related topic/scene there'd be this BRASS HEAVY melody (id say led by low trombones) if you've ever listened to arabesque. its a little something like the saucy lick they have going in that. i also think that whenever marshall john shows up the brass thing still plays but it sounds like a circus march.

SPEAKING OF CIRCUS MARCHES. i think that the entire time they are in Kas' Karnival (or however you spell it) a different strain of a circus march plays. specifically here im thinking Grand Galop by Johnnie Vinson because it has such wiggle room for tempo that you can play around with the mood of the carnival. in the pixieland and other peaceful areas the trio (a clarinet and euphonium led part. very soft and silly. most of the band rests during this.) plays. in the big top extravaganza the final strain plays (thats basically a rebalanced version of the trio to include the full band) i think the break strain would play anytime things got stressful. the other two strains could be anywhere really as they are pretty general.

those are the thoughts ive had so far abt it but if i have anymore ill let u know ^_^

HOLY SHIT ROSEMARY I AM SHAKING U I LOVE THIS SOOOOO MUCH….. I KNOW LIKE. VERY LITTLE ABOUT ORCHESTRA AND INSTRUMENTS BUT HOLY SHIT KM IN LOVE WITH THIS ALL OF IT!!!!!

i so so agree with u for the dunjon scene . i imagine during either the trials or gillion’s speech to the elders the choir would be BEAUTIFULL like singing rlly high notes and there’d be a lot a dissonance. like man <333

i listened to all the songs u mentioned and !!!! they are so cool i love all ur thoughts :3

AND I AGREE assigning characters a specific instrument is sooo cool <333 each character would have a little theme/motif (? idk which one is the right word) that would play in the background if a scene or song is specifically focused on them… ough man <333

i was thinking like for jay it could be something like a violin or viola. like it’s usually a fancy and elegant instrument but it can go CRAZYY when you want it to <3 and in scenes like the block i imagine jayson would have a strong cello playing for him and jay’s violin would be echoing his notes… ough. wind chimes are a really good idea though it plays a lot into some of her wind imagery (THIS IS THERE I KNOW IT IS OK<3)

and !!!! brass instruments for the navy are so really actually they are very loud and strong and generally inspiring :3 also something like a french horn for gill’s theme???? mwah mwah in love

HAVJNG THE BAND ON STAGE SOUNDS SO COOL?????? in taverns and big islands it makes so much sense. i feel like it would tie the roots back to dnd a little and it would make the town feel more real!! i love it <3

i am soosooo in love with all of this <33 gillion’s theme would be very strong and powerful like you can feel it in your bones, but through out the musical it dies down. it’s not as loud and intimidating or out there.

jays theme would be very subtle. it would be as loud but it is definitely there. the song wouldn’t sound the same without it. OH MY GOD. her theme plays in the block when she walks to her fathers side but it doesn’t have her specific instrument and it just isn’t the same. then a few measures in it gets replaced with a big cello and her instrument echoes the cello <333

chips theme would be very sudden and sharp. like it’s always on the verge of growing into something HUGE but it never really does. like ouugh. <333 sorry i’m having so many thoughts. his theme would have a harmonica ive just decided <3333

tyty rosemary for these amazing thoughts i’m going feral actually ily <33333

the transmisandry stuff is insane to me. hink it's this thing i notice all the time were folk dont actually understand in any way how oppression actually works. so they just see that trans woman have a word for the specifc institutional n societal discrimination etc they face so that means trans guys need one an aw....despite the fact theres no observable instances of transmisandry as far as i can see its all misdirected misogyny or transphobia and sometimes homophobia and probably various other things that arny misandry cos...misandry dont real

this is personal experience and i am stealth and pass so its different to many ppls experience but all thr shite i used to get abt my appearance (cos i was viewed as cis girl) and general treatment frm ppl just stopped cos they saw me as (an albeit feminine or younger) guy. and obviously i still am somewhat gnc (esp for where i live) but i faced just as much ignorance fae folk. specifically experienced just as much problems using gendered bathrooms before i started transitioning and was read as a masc gnc lassie. also as a trans guy av had folk misgender or question or stare at me in the bathroom but ive never had someone imply i was in there to abuse or assault someone or to fulfil my fetish or whatever thr fuck cos that's specifically a problem experienced by trans women because its transmisogyny.

like what even are the major issues that SPECIFICALLY only trans men face....ig like lack of access to reproductive healthcare n stuff but thats also something trans women struggle with and also again i think related to misogyny cos some healthcare that trans guys need access to is mostly used by women and thats partly why its bad underesearched underfunded being taken away etc and why theres a cultural stigma and ignorance surrounding it. and that obviously then effects trans women too. so it's made worse because of transphobia but its not making an instance of misandry worse nd isny caused by institutional misandry present in the healthcare system....

and the rest of the issues are legit like. women are mean about men online. trans women are mean about trans men online. theres more trans women in tv shows than trans men. and anything else is just transphobia that all trans folk experience as well.

ultimately theres like. no need for this to be a term just say transphobia. theres no societal institutional cultural discrimination or oppression that effects only trans guys exclusively thats why it's no a thing and disny need a word. Another one of this things that if ppl were being normal and just wanting to improve the lives of trans ppl but specifically spoke about the issues trans men face cos idk thats their lived experience and were incorrectly and unnecessarily using the term transmisandry, ad be like alright thats a wee bit stupid but its no the end of the world (i swear it used to be slightly mair like that). But now theyre no doing that theyre just like redpilled incels now but instead of moaning about women in general they moan about trans women specificly and make brave statements such as Friendly reminder its valid for blokes to drink pints of beer and watch the fitbaw and be angry.

its hilarious it's just them being misogynist proving therefore that misogyny is real and misandry isny and proving trans men arent immune to being misogynist or exempt fron the privileges of being a guy. Unreal they legit got mad at a rando posts online about men being fail and cringe. Most reddit-coded community on this site

i need u to come forward

i am listening to peripheral vision by turnover and i'm so fucking high and i know what you are saying and i am enamored. not that you'd listen to this album idrk your music always surprises me for some reason its exciting and the cutest thing. theres only two people this could be and i feel like you also would be sweet enough to randomly check my blog some time bc i mention it a lot bc it feels good to think and i'll read it when the time is right maybe.

im going insane a lot of this feels like im the most defensive human being on earth and i need to explain a lot. YES!

the kind of high where you can just fucking eat a bagel wit nothing. not even a little toast.

i was in my bathroom just peeing and i'm like really high and i'm getting over a really big cry i had to myself in my room like i was literally N O T! okay. nothing to talk about i just had a rly cute hypochondriac moment and freaked out xD this edible is fucking freaking me out. so like you know whatim feelingdude. the downplay is placed above this and im so sorry it took so long for you to get to the point, but im allowing myself to organize my thoughts so this will be direct at one point and wait i should test this. but also i need to THINK because im high and this is my diary and i want to think and im okay with people seeing what i think bc quite frankly i am always always thinking and working through shit and i understand people in weird ways.

back to the thing that u did.

i was pissing and i looked in my shower. so PINK. but it wasnt.. two days prior. flashback to my first shower when i got home from san diego and i was like, "shit this shower is not real." i was also high. maybe i am fucking insane. no i'm not no no no. lets talk. talk to me!!!!!

all of my bottles were slightly different. and the water felt different. i had an exquisite shower. and i didn't wash the pink off until after i shaved and exfoliated and washed my face and sighed and thought about why life is pain. i realized the shower was getting a little pinker and i ignored it. and duringthepart when i was fucking grabbing my shampoo, i noticed the shampoo i always keep in the corner because i only use it to wash my bangs and i did the day i left only. S showered after me and cleaned my bathroom once but it all got fucked because we had a party and got drunk and had a 9/11 in there so it was all cleaned while being an ineberiated vessel. L also is at my place a lot and she likes to clean.

so come forward. that is the fucking most beautiful thing and i literally can't explain to you how insane that is and i love you. but also if there was maybe someone in my apartment bc i actually had left a door open or someone did and i didnt notice? this is deflection i need to shut UP THATS FOR LATER FOR YOU

why did you rearrange all of my bottles when you knew iwouldn't see. i had a fucking social battery 9/11 that i needed to recover from like i needed to shower. you know i like being alone and that the shower is intimate. IT WAS HIDDDDDEEN.

it was really cute and i love you and i need to know who you are. like i cried my eyes out. it meant the world to me to see that. because its such a big message to do that to someone, and you know i personally wouldn't mind that in my shower. you know you're so fucking welcome to do that and theres ONLY TWO OF YOUS!!!!!

if it was anyone else i would probably sleep in a pool of vomit for a week

i dont know how to ask because i know this is a code thing but also im getting a little less high and im going to second guess this, but thats like intimate??? im not crazy. also if for some reason you both said yes id get violent......

i need to eat my sweet treat and watch degrassi, and you know i love you because im spending my. valuable alone time, before watching degrassi, to just decipher who it is because it was just gorgeous. am i crazy for being moved right now......... or do u get me. like u get it. i need to eat this croissant. idk how to ask this ill figure it out i need to digest my existence more. thanks that was cute like literally the e basis is like you cleaned my bathroom but like no you organized it like you would and that's cute i love seeing that i like that

2/25/2023

So this is probably an awful idea. But when you were getting married and then having your honeymoon, i wrote letters to you. that i didnt send to you. i think i only had 3 or 4 days worth of them. But I have no clue when i will ever speak to you again. And like, speak speak. Not some short text. I'm very torn on everything. my heart, is shattered. truly. But you know. At least I have to think you know. Maybe you have like, been able to trick yourself into thinking i never cared. or idk. i just dont know Courtney. I am sorry that i felt this was planned. you did admit it was, after comparing me to Chad first of course. But planned in that, yo. i cant take this. its fair and justified. Maybe the Chad comparison was fair too. idfk. It also makes me hate myself more than I ever thought I could. i have been crying so much today that i have no concept of time. I am glad that at least you have had a wonderful Saturday. Out of town with a friend. Seeing a hopefully enjoyable movie. I was left to morn my dead Dad and now the most important relationship ive ever had. idk if youll ever read or see any of these. And christ i dont want to come off bitter or angry. or anything. I know that i hurt you already. fuck. i hurt you so much that you were like, peace dude. im just, shocked? i dont get how we are video chatting and opening gifts and i bought a hotel for us. To meet up in a crazy thing where I had no plan as to HOW things were gonna work. But my love and need to see you bypassed any real worries. It's crazy how this relationship brought that out of me. I think looking back at things, I was still a bit of a stick in the mud comparably. But you definitely brought something out of me that was crazy and off the cuff. I liked it. I wish i could save things. I wish this was like that early time when you broke things off and then like 2 days later came back and said you couldnt be without me. I'm not religious but I am hoping there are some sort of synchronicities or coincidences that send you back to me. I didnt expect you to not break up with me just because it was my dead father''s birthday. That would be manipulative. You broke up with me just the other day and I cant even tell you WHY. I remember alot of you telling me how YOU had negatively effected my life. And i deserved better and whatever. But i just wanted you. I told my mom that I have never loved someone like i loved you, and I never will again. I didnt know I was capable of love like this. I wont ever find it again. This message sucks cause its all over the place and im not making much sense or keeping a consistent tone. the barbed comments I would make. Back handed shit. god, they are all i can fucking think about. I cant imagine how differently things wouldve been if you hadnt immediately started having sex with new people. my brain just cant Courtney. How can you love me, want a future with me, want children, a home. But then as soon as you are single, its not me. Its not me at all. It's someone else. It really fucked with my head. And honestly, i just think I am a square. I have never hooked up with anyone in my life. I have only had sex with people I had relationships with. And the concept of sex outside of that is not only unappealing to me, but kind of grosses me out. Thats for me. I get people are into their own things and I dont judge. But being faced by someone who can say all this lovey dovey bs to me, and go fuck another man. And theres no connection? its just sex? whats the big deal? well, thats where my brain goes insane. I've never felt good enough or worthy of you. And for you to immediately shack up with someone NOT me while saying different things to me, it really fed into that insecurity. But thats me right? its MY insecurity. So who would you be to respect or acknowledge that. You are a young single woman who can finally go out and experiment and find yourself. Neither me or anyone else should stand in your way of that. But god dammit did it break my heart. And your ability to seemingly never think of me and my feelings just solidified mentally that i was not good enough. i was not worthy. and maybe worst of all, I was not your first choice. i lashed out with my words. my tone. things i said. how i said that. ugh. i wish...i wish i couldve just been your supportive friend. YASSS QUEEN! GO EAT SOME PUSSY! there are moments when i can be cool. But the uncool version of me surfaced his ugly head far more often as more of your experimentation took off. It just blows because, this only got bad once this started. Prior to that, i feel like things were wonderful. But i am probably sugarcoating things post mortem. i regret ever telling you i had bipolar disorder. i regret ever telling you about my anxiety disorder. Because in breaking up with me, they were both brought up. Negative is negative though. Just sucks feeling like you arent good enough from the get go and then being made to feel like you are broken and needing fixing. I dont know alot of people who would be okay with the love of their life fucking other people. Especially when that same person has told you they want you over anyone. But then when you try to plan a future together, those conversations go nowhere. So idk. Too much too soon I guess. I know that no matter what negative things i may think of the situation, I know I am at fault. I couldnt handle the pressure of being with a poly person. And I especially couldnt handle it when it seemed like the plans to experiment and have sex with other people superseded our plans that we talked about of a future together. But as i said, I know i am wrong. I am the villain. I think of some of the things i said to you in the days following you telling me Andi was coming there to get a hotel so you 2 could fuck. And christ. my tone. the meanness. i know i can change. i know it. maybe you'll change too? But maybe some of your negative qualities will change in your period of experimenting. who knows? all i know is each hour that passes and I cant talk to you breaks my soul. as much as I am sure you would prefer me checking my insurance to see if i could get therapy and medicated, i am afraid i am looking into seeing if it will cover me committing myself. Because I am genuinely unsure how i can go on. All i can think about is taking a bunch of Ativan and walking out into the woods and falling asleep and never waking up. Which in my present state I can realize is not good. The issue is, between the hotel i JUST bought us Thursday, and the hotel I bought us for your visit here in April, that's over $900 i charged that's non refundable. If I commit myself, I will lose my job. Outside of hotel money, i am just in debt in general too. So i feel so fucking stuck. None of this matters though. I just want you back. I don't care about money. I don't care about who else you have sex with. i just want my angel back. i can and will change. And I am TERRIFIED because per you,  you are a serial monogamous relationship person. I want to change so you will love me again. I want to change so you can feel comfortable with your heart with me. But what if it takes to long? And you're already on to the next one? idfk. But my soul is crushed and i feel like giving up. I'm back to where I was before we met. The difference is now i have the pain and grief of losing my cosmic lover. My partner the universe brought into my life. How does one cope with such a loss? How does one live knowing they lost a love that was unlike anything they've ever experienced. I don't know. i do not want to live a life without you in it. 

different anon here but I just want to say I genuinely appreciate how unapologetic and confident you are about ur body hair especially as someone who is attracted to women with body hair and as someone who prefers to not shave but feels pressured to due to societal norms and what not idk I guess I'm just wondering how you like got over/ stopped caring about what other people think cause that's what's difficult for me :/

Thats literally everything i want to hear. i love doing this cuz not only is the insane excess body hairy a huge automatic dyke magnet that i dont even have to put any work into, but also because for every 10 people who look at me with revulsion theres always 1 person who thinks … maybe i can also have the confidence to do that. Thats my revolution. okay this ones gonna be long so hit that read more

So. when i was a novice non-shaver going out in public with even just a sliver of hairy leg showing literally gripped me in fear, like panic stricken burning fear. It was insane and pathetic and ridiculous how disabling this terror was over such a stupid arbitrary thing. I used 2 have repetitive nightmares about it, just the sickest dread terror imaginable. LMFAO.

If ur gonna ask how to get over that fear the straight answer is u cant, not fully. This is the product of some serious conditioning and socialization that has been at work since u were born. like it doesnt just go away. Even i havent gotten over it, like sometimes i seriously struggle with it. U can definitely get used to it though. I prefer to not shave and feel that everyday terror over shaving. And ill tell u why, so u can approach it with the same reasoning.

first of all i hated the physical act of shaving, really fckin hated waxing, every hair removal method is either painful, time consuming or expensive. And its worthless anyways because ur stubble is back in by the next morning. Who benefits?? and what are the consequences? I am making my body unnatural, conformist, and alien to me through a tedious and painful process. why do i harm myself in this way? Why put my psyche thru this? why is my body wrong in its natural state? what happens if i DONT shave?

and this is the crux of the matter: NOTHING HAPPENS. Other than the fact that it creates this fear, there is NO consequence to not shaving. In general no one will care and no one will treat you any different. Nothing will change in your daily life. you may likely get stares or rude comments from strangers on occasion but at the end of the day those things dont really matter. They seriously dont matter at all. Let go of the need to be judged correctly by all strangers. These people are fleeting milliseconds of your life. Remember this every time u go out.

and u must go out ... in this case exposure therapy really does work. Theres literally nothing else 2 do but go out unshaved. Just force urself over and over. Just do it. Do it until u dont even realize anymore. The day will come! U wont even notice it until ur looking at the women around u in public and u find it strange to see them hairless. On this day u will revel in ur shavelessness. Thank god u dont look like the prepubescent pedophilic fantasy that the mans world wants u to look like. U will view it with revulsion and horror, the idea of making urself into a little hairless girl to emulate their sick pornography and obsession with fucking literal minors. Never again!!!! This is where the revolution starts!!!

and i will tell u now. Once u finally grow out ur leg hair and theres no stubble or itchiness left it is going to feel so nice. Stroke it nd shit, for real. This is important. Look at it with luv. If you cant do that, look at it with neutrality. GET USED 2 ITS PRESENCE ... this is ur one and only body.

Now, if u can, find urself a group of women or lesbians who also dont shave. Look for urself in them and feel comforted by the fact that u wont b judged here. Get ur mind used to the NORMALCY of body hair. If ur lucky u might have other lesbian or even just alternative friends who find your body hair sexy or are jealous of ur confidence in growing it out. HUGE EGO BOOST! Take it when u can find it. This one helped me a lot because i am a natural attention whore and narcissist.

And besides if ur anything like me in that u fucking hate males with a militant blood boiling violent rage, then u might also remind urself: the struggle you face over your body hair is ABSENT in all the men that you see around you. Absent. Never there and never will be. what gives them the right and not me? They live their lives so mindlessly free of any of this. Dont shave your legs cuz … fuck em, thats why!!! 🗣 Show those sick mfers. Dyke revolution by just walking down the street and being comfortable in ur own skin. Love the strange looks that u get in public. Fuck them!!!

So thats how i mostly stopped caring about being unshaven, kind of a mix of acknowledging how stupid it is to do so as well as a bit of exposure therapy, community, and good old dyke hatred and cynicism. Remember that every time you go out you are showing other women that this is a possibility for them too. I hope this little guide gave u some inspiration for the future. I appreciate how hard it is to stop shaving but honestly once u do stop its even harder to start doing it again. Good luck and i wish u all the strength, drive, confidence and attitude u r going 2 need. And if u ever want to talk more about it im always right here at ileaveclawmarks on tumblr.com ... 🤍🤍🤍

So, what do ya reckon Orville's SPNsona is(/spn kin)..?

part2: "like who from spn he kins? maybe he's self-inserting into the fic.., does that make sense? Im so serious about this, btw, love ur desktop theme <3"

OKAY FIRST OF ALL this is so far up my alley i cant even begin to process it!!! also hiiiiii thank you this is very sweet i keep fucking up the colors and it needs some emotional support but tyyyyyy <33

i hope ur ready for me to take this SO seriously !!!

i think the question is fair but orville peck like kinda isnt a person? hes the concept of a person like he doesnt exist like he ~does~ and you can figure out stuff from his songs but like also what is he doing what does he want ya know hes kinda like a straw man of audience projections which is ALSO what dean is basically

like they both sorta exist as vessels (lol) for people to like understand or interpret their art where like orville is very much like all about mystery man focus on the emotions and the music and dean is much more like the lens of the story of supernatural like everything (esp in later seasons) is like filtered through how HE feels (a lot of people have said this a lot better than i but they are correct and i am agreeing) so i think there's an obvious parallel there. Also dean would be so horny for cowboy orville sorry not related but its simply true

ok so like i guess the question becomes kinda like two parts for me like 1: what songs lyrics make me go bananasinsanecrazy when applied to supernatural and 2: which aspects of orvilles fake person outlines would different characters of supernatural apply themselves to WHICH is a very fun question to answer so hi gonna answer them both in a way that makes no sense

i think like the like obvious is like hes hot he gets kicked out of bars hes sad he wants to have a home he misses a home that doesnt exist nobody ever sees his real face he knows his way around a truck stop hes lonely hes gay he believes in the imagery of taillights in the distance and like slow dancing in a dusty bar on the side of the road he just wants someone to stay hes full of emotion but you cant tell he wants to be a cowboy he wants to not be attached hes so full of emotion hes gonna burst (also im sorry but "buddy we've got major blues/another suitcase in your hand" like hello "wouldnt it be nice if i could sleep in my own bed/wouldnt it be nice if i could let the dead stay dead/wouldnt it be swell if i could get things off my chest" HELLO sorry im adding question 1 into my answer also if u think too hard about fancy u might get a brain anneurism so dont do that i know its a cover miss reba really did something with that also winds change dead of night god dont even get me started sorry i keep adding to this but listen to blush sometime and think dean thoughts "fishermans son my dad liked to run/cant picture ur face but i know it was pretty" theres SO MANY) very deancoded it must be said

BUT ALSO if u think too hard about castiel and drive me crazy u will get brain worms confirmed also kalahari down "on your daddys farm/you say your afraid, tell me not to frown" unwell BUT THE KICKER if you ever want to lose all ur braincells listen up buddy lets go heres the thing "back on the run/back to the blue/winning is fun/losing is too" roses are falling guaranteed breakdown "the ache inside/the hate/i found a way/to sit and wait/and now i cant/your voice/your face/without a trace/ill wait for you" LIKE HELLO going insane does anyone want anything

idk im sure sam has like feelings and stuff too but ill be honest i dont care asdkjfhsdk (no not really like i love sam my weird little 'maybe theres something fundamentally wrong with me' boy but i have no lyrics that make me want to gnaw on glass like they do with some other people but like turn to hate maybe if u wanna go a little insane "take me back to the time i was yours you were mine/take me back to the world i know" he said i just want to be normal i miss the love of my life im undone "i hope to die" like hello trials arc im trying not to let the sorrow turn to hate i see it) ((could this also be applied to dean yes but we're gonna let sammy keep some personality traits)) (((also must be noted that maybe orville is not the man for sam)))

wait why is yanli getting zidian bad?

hi okay just right off the bat i want to say that i dont really think people are being purposely stupid or ignorant or whatever, BUT there is a rampant problem among (usually white) fans of this show of simply not engaging critically/thoughtfully with it and the OBVIOUS and OVERHWELMING asianness of it. like. it is a chinese show. set in chinese society. about chinese characters. now i myself am not east asian so there are even things i dont clock or understand, of course, but there’s already been so many things ive seen float across my dash or on fandom blogs that scream White to me (the implicit viewing of the societal setup as some kind of chinese translation of white aristocratic society, for one, which is insane to me bc its so obviously not the same but whatever ill give it a pass, or the apparent inability to understand the DEEPLY ENTRENCHED familial ties and loyalty, which is also incredibly obvious to me but idk. maybe white people cant understand the inherent complexity of family fhdcnx. im kidding...mostly.)

one of these things is this view of jiang yanli. theres some different things about this whole ‘yanli Deserves zidian’ take that suck, right. on the basic level, the hashtag girlboss angle is ugly. this is the simplest thing to understand i think, as it happens to numerous female characters across popular western media all the time. the weaponized femininity bullshit from 2012 era mcu stans. the ‘this woman is kind and soft and gentle, but thats not ENOUGH for me to see her a real character deserving of respect and agency, she HAS to be VIOLENT and BADASS for me to care’ rhetoric is, i think, familiar enough that we can all recognize why its shitty and devaluing. its insulting to yanli to basically say ‘youd be better and cooler if you got real angry and hurtful’

(additionally on this hashtag girlboss thing- something i didnt fully understand until it was explained to me is why that scene of yanli talking back to jin zixun in wwx’s defence was Not a ‘wow shes standing up for him, incredible!’ moment and much more of a ‘oh holy shit this is a huge socially precarious move’ which is expanded upon in ellian weiwuxianisms post here)

okay now. about zidian. to me, it is GLARINGLY obvious and i assumed it would be to anyone whos seen the series in general, that zidian is a vehicle for trauma. its an object that not only metaphorically represents the abuse suffered by the yunmeng siblings, and the horrific cycle of anger and unhealthy emotions that jiang cheng is stuck in, but LITERALLY represents that, as we see it being used exactly for that purpose. zidian is an heirloom of violence and the fact that jiang cheng wields it now holds incredible meaning, again about the cycle of abuse that he was unable to be freed from, the weight of filial duty twisting painfully with what should have been love, and so on. 

its hard for me to articulate what i mean here, but its like. jiang cheng having zidian is so much more than just being badass and cool, theres SO MUCH tied up in that which speaks to his childhood, the abuse he and his siblings suffered, the way anger now has a vicegrip on him as well, how he’s turned into his mother’s reflection, how his first taste of love as a child was embittered by anger. i know this isnt about him, but i hope explaining these things makes it easier to understand that there is a great deal going on around and about zidian, and that to simply be like ‘well i think yanli should have zidian because its baller’ is so insultingly reductive, and divorces both zidian and yanli of their contexts and stories, and is just like. why would you want her to have it? why would yanli ever take zidian in the first place?

again, i really hope this makes sense and goes some ways towards explaining where i’m coming from, and why i think its just. extremely not cool and very reductive to thoughtlessly throw that together. i get if you read this and youre like ‘ok but its not that deep’ but respectfully. it REALLY is lol. it is that deep and i take it really personally when people are so flippant and repeatedly uncaring about the SPECIFIC context and meaning that this show has AS a piece of asian media. if you have time to think extensively about and write essays for your fave boring white media, you should direct the same energy into understanding non-white media you consume as well.

hypothetically, if I were to write a fix-it/rewrite au fic, (thinking of starting at s5 but debating starting earlier) what are some storylines you’d take out/change, characters you’d save/kill, and specifically changes to sam’s character/arcs you’d like bc i need ideas

ok. ok. I'm gonna try to not go completely off the fucking rails while I write this up but I gotchu (also these r all just my own hot n spicy takes so like. pick what u like, it's all goodie goodie)

• no time passing differently in hell. literally four months is ~Enough!~ a year is enougghh!!!!!! like I get that they wanted to make hell this horrible unreachable thing but u can still like... get that across without having it be this unfathomable chunk of time out of a persons life. like sam was down there with TWO very pissed off angel's for 180 years??? how can he still speak english??? how does dean remember ANYTHING about his old life when mentally more than half of it was spent being endlessly tortured until he finally cracked??? its just.... Too Much...

• ON that note, I feel like later on they never rlly had sam and dean bond over the fact that like... they are genuinely the ONLY two people on earth who have survived actual hell. I mean we got that one off line from dean at some point but??

• no chuck as god. just a greasy greasy rat man getting insane stories projected into his brain. and on the topic of that.... I dont like the reflection of the real life fanbase in the spn universe??? they're pulp fiction novels, it should be all like 50 year old + ladies who picked them up at the local bargain bin, not b*cky r*sen

• I like... WANNA say smth abt s4..... bc I think the way that they handled things were a little out of character BUT I also think that was lind of the point??? like the angels and demons were manipulating them to say/do things they would normally never say/do to eachother to drive a big enough wedge between then that they would eventually say yes to being the vessels. like it hurts to watch sooo much but it did drive the plot forward in a very particular way that probably couldnt have happened otherwise. that being said, when the levee breaks makes me sad, and I dont want to see sam crying for his dead mother alone in a basement! cest la vie.

• sam and dean.... are Friends...,, why did we all forget that..... watch hell house and maybe I'll calm down.....

• PSYCHIC SAM!!!!!! you all know me. you know how I feel about psychic sam... robbed. s4 finale rlly had sam like "drinking that much demon blood has truly changed me forever..... theres no going back now...... 😔😔" like ok. ok. where are your superpowers. where are they.

• I wish some of the other special children had made it out :(( I really liked andy and ava (also sam finding other friend who are like him??? queer allegory??? spare queer allegory?????)

• I also dont think the roadhouse shouldve burned down!!! that shouldve been a Staple Location like Bobby's house. same w Missouri's, literally why did we only visit her once.

• ur sending an ask to my blog so I assume this is just a given for u but!!! we're takin away the misogyny. we're takin away the fetishization! anything that would be given the greenlight by joss whedon we are putting straight in the trash. <3

• this is mostly a thing in later seasons like. idk 9-15, but no ppl knowing who the winchesters are. they are NOBODIES. they pop up like little meerkats and fuck everything up beyond repair.

• also no fancy tech. no iphone 76z or whatever the fuck. sam has an ipod 1. the wheel is so stuck he can barely press play anymore. remember when he literally just tore off the top casing off his laptop and threw it away? more of that.

• no nice clothes. NO nice clothes we fuckin hate that. everything sam and dean own was purchased pre 1995 and dean is an expert at removing blood stains and sewing up jackets. dean will walk into a laundromat with a tide pen and just start goin for it like that scene in deadpool.

• tbh.... I feel like the issues in later seasons are really this massive horrible domino effect. like I could say heres how to fix s7-10 but the fact is if shit hadnt gone down lile it had in s7 s10 would be a different story entirely.

• I am gonna do it tho bc I suck <3

• s6: soulless sam was funney but did that really go anywhere? no. tbh I dont remember what happened w cas and I'm just not going to look it up. it's just not in the cards for tonight. dean w lisa.... ehh.... I've discussed this at wayy too much length w mushroom and we both agreed that dean would probably keep hunting to keep his mind off things and to try and honor sams sacrifice. I guess theres an argument to be made for the fact that it kind of was Sam's dying wish that dean just go fin her and live a normal life but... idk. purgatory was. . indeed a Concept..... that could have maybe gone somewhere if it didnt rapidly spiral into....

• s7!!! I mean. jesus christ. I know some people like this one but jesus christ. the way they literally couldnt commit to having sam have genuine mental health problems after centuries in hell or to just magically wipe them away..... bobby dying halfway thru.... charlie was a bright spot I suppose, but her intro is not my fave episode w her.... idk what the fuck happened w cas, I guess he was god. the leviathan designs were kinda neat but like oh my fucking god it wasnt worth it.

• s8: uh. rough start. idk why the turn tables so suddenly and dean's like "why didnt u look for me >:((" bc??? yall agreed not to???? at the VERY least they couldve had sam been like "I legitimately had no reason to think u werent dead and in heaven and tha wouldve been a little rude of me to pull u out of that." but we went for ~drama~ to make it spicy I guess. ouygh. bunkers there!!! that was cool!!! MoL is a cool concept!!! altho... it doesn kinda contradict the whole sam and dean are nobodies thing... idk. trials of hell was like... cool in theory but bad in practice unless they were planning on ending the show for realskies. and they did not.

• s9: uhh... hated gadreel! hated that shit! wish they had spun that whole storyline to be more "hey sam I noticed u were s*icidal should we maybe address that??" or even like.... I mean dean probably couldve just TOLD sam abt his plan, he had already convinced him to stay alive by that point??? there was no reason to lie!!! plus the betrayal of gadreel not being who he said he was wouldve been like. literally enough drama, we didnt need to fracture the team again. and cas was??? where exactly??? be was human for at least half of that season but hey didnt know what to do w him so they chucked him in a convenience store??? good lord.

• s10: got no suggestions for that one, just toss it

• s11: ok... shes cute.... we can forgive her.... the lore is shaky at best but the episodes SLAP and the characterization is *chefs kiss*. it's been a hot minute since I've seen it so if smth sucked I dont remember and I plan to keep it that way!!!!

• s12: n.. no. no mary. no mary unless we're doing it right. and I promise u doing it right was not poorly ripping off kingsman. couldve brought back bobby!!! if they desperately wanted some drama couldve brought back john!!! actually fuck that, no way

• s13-15: no thoughts, only jack kline <3

i really wanna be a different more grown adult person by new year. im not setting any goals that ill disappoint myself by not achieving or anything but def have a few things that i wanna be consistently doing by then like i wanna have my license by then or atleast just be comfortable behind the wheel. and then i wanna try to get a job for real but thats alot more in the air obviously.  and then i wanna get up early and eat breakfast more often and start the day on a good note as opposed to crawling out of bed at 1 and doing whatever it is i have to do for the day and then sleeping at 3 am lol. obv exercising is on the list too i wanna be more in shape and more consistently exercising day to day cause my stomach is really sticking out compared to the rest of me but i think im more interested in just being like fit and not getting exhausted quickly as opposed to being interested in losing fat or anything. i just wanna feel active and alive really lol. and also really this past month has made me realize that my family really is like difficult and they have alot of problems being helpful and actually helping one another. like they jump to very individualistic modes of thought when im doing smthn and ask for a small favor and i really have to get my shit all together cause it can be v stressful doing all their dishes and always having to do small chores that they could easily help w/ or that we could take turns doing its insane how much they just make no effort to be kind human beings when work has to be done. but ya theyre like that and im gonna have to be in top shape to do all the housework that they could help with but wont and if im in top shape it rly wont mean much to me and will make me feel good to do work for myself. theyre also v liek idk what the word is but they sorta make it hard for me to grow as a person so i have to push myself twice as hard i think. anyways ive been really happy lately really identifying where and how i want my life to go cause i really feel like iWasted the shit out of these past 3 years in college. i had nice experiences and met my closest friend there which was great and am grateful to have been to a community college but i had no business being there w/ the disorganized state my life was i was just kinda going cause it was expected of me. Covid obv made this more apparent but also made college way more difficult for me. Im an adult and i am happy to make decisions about my life and i hope i grow more within the coming years. theres alot of love in my heart and i have a lot of interests and passions mainly in the realm of art and i hope i can grow and become more efficient at the things i love and can enjoy everything more because of it. <3

Comparing RWBY and YGO DM: The Handling and Evolution of Themes

Hey! Its been a hot minute since I last posted anything RWBY-related but Im laying in my bed right now and Im sick and bored so I guess we're doing this. Today I will do my best to analyze what I percieve to be the main themes and messages of both of these shows, or more specifically, how theyre handled narratively. Im mostly focusing on that part because, while these series do have similar themes and messaging, they are still a few things in which they are wildly different. And with that, lets start with this essay-post-thing!

1. Theres something we need to adress first

Okay so, before we can really talk about this, theres something I feel the need to clarify here: Neither of these stories was "planned from the beginning".

Now, I dont think a story being planned from the beginning or not nesscessarily makes the story any better or worse by default, however, it is still important to acknowledge because the way the story is planned is going to affect every facet of it. Things are not going to be foreshadowed properly, things are gonna be set up only for nothing to come of it, the story might drastically change directions, characters might act differently, etc, etc.

And, this is bit off-topic but, it's much better to just admit that the story was not planned than trying to pretend that it was. Like, there are a lot of reasons why I tend to be so forgiving towards YGO even though its not very good, but one of them is definitely the fact that, as far as Im aware atleast, the guy who wrote it isnt pretending to have had this big master plan all along and neither is the fandom. With RWBY on the other hand... yeaaaah, its kinda the opposite. From what Ive seen of RWBYs fandom, there seems to be this pretty popular narrative that everything was planned even though it clearly wasnt. Thats pretty bad and honestly lowers my opinion of the writers so much more than if they would just admit to not having a proper plan.

Like, I initially consumed YGO like this: Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Monsters, Yu-Gi-Oh (aka Season 0), like, a quarter of the Yu-Gi-Oh manga (I still havent finished it)

In all three of these we have the character of Yami Yuugi, or just Yami. Broadly speaking, he is an ancient egyptian gamer spirit who lives in a magical puzzle that has not been solved for 3000 years until this highschooler named Yuugi Mutou comes along and solves it, thus setting him free and allowing him to possess Yuugi and have access to the vague magical powers of the puzzle.

In Duel Monsters he's perfectly fine most of time, morally speaking. There is an instance of him almost murdering a guy and its a bit unclear what exactly happens to those he mindcrushes but overall he's very much a pretty good guy. In Season 0 most of what he does is set up these games for bad people, where they will go insane no matter what they do. From how I understand this whole Shadow Game, Penalty Game stuff, if you lose a Shadow Game, you get violent and intense hallucinations and you will always cuz yknow, gamer spirit. But if you try to cheat, which most of the bad people do in this show, you get violent and intense hallucinations as a punishment.

Since the two anime are generally considered two different continuities, its perfectly fine that Yamis characterization is wildly different in both of them. But in the manga both of these characterizations appear, basically one after the other with no real arc or consequences, for that matter. Why is that? Simply put, someone thought it was a good idea to try to turn an episodic, very slice of life-y light-horror manga into a more traditional, more plot-driven battle shounen. From what Ive heard, it was apparently largely because of network interference or something, but the point is, it changed directions incredibly drastically with little planning and everyone knows this and I can understand that for the most part.

In RWBY we have the character of Blake Belladonna, who, in the first 3 volumes/seasons atleast, was this aloof, more toned down loner-type character with a pretty strong sense of justice. She's an in-universe marginilized racial minority and she clearly cares about racial injustice. The way its initially framed makes it seem like she had a very hard life and no stable support system, which is what eventually pushed her to join a Civil Rights group/Terrorist organization (good god, the Faunus subplot is so awful, I could write a whole essay about it but Im already de-railing rn so I'll just save that for later).

Then, in volumes 4-5 it turns out her father is actually like, the mayor or chief of this island-place called Menagerie and she grew up in this big mansion with multiple guards/servants. Oh and also, apparently "space is a commodity" on there, so theres that. She still retains large parts of her personality but she's kinda like, worse somehow I think. I cant really describe it in a meaningful way but I hope you get what Im saying anyway. Then in Volume 6 she confronted her emotional abuser Adam (sorry for not mentioning him sooner but yeah, he was like, her abusive boyfriend, which is something that a lot of people disagree with but I wont really say anything about it either way because I dont really feel any specific way) with her friend, Yang, and ended up killing him.

After all that, she pretty much lost the rest of her personality, as well as her arc about all the Faunus stuff. She just kinda became the meek, generically nice, recovering abuse victim. Why? Well, the actual reason is that they didnt plan out shit and are just kinda flying by the seat of their oversized clown-pants and if they and the fandom just admitted it, I would have less of an issue. I still wouldnt be as forgiving towards RWBY as I am towards YGO because the crux of the issue, for me, is just that I dont particulary like RWBY but also like. Do you really expect me to take MKEK seriously as writers after admitting to not have a timeline because iT wOuLd CaUsE pLoThOlEs?

However, since they want us to believe that everything was planned out from the beginning, the explaination would be.... Idk, they deliberately butchered one of their main characters?? Because.. they hate her?? Maybe????

So yeah, that was quite a detour however, I would like you to keep this mind going forward.

2. Themes of the Early Series'

First, what do mean by 'Early Series' for both of these shows respectively? Well, for YGO that would have to be Season 0 or if youre reading the manga, everything pre-Duelist Kingdom. Basically, the part of the series thats a episodic, very slice of life-y light-horror series.

For RWBY that would be the first three Volumes, also known as the Poser-Era. Back then it was just kinda an action series that took place at Anime Warrior Academy (also known as Beacon) with some pretty bare minimum worldbuilding, character-driven plots and developments but now its more of an epic high-fantasy story with more of an emphasis on plot as opposed to just action.

The themes and messages in Early YGO are kinda vague, very confusing to me and if you were to follow any of it literally that would be pretty bad. For now Im just gonna say the main themes are Friendship and Identity and mostly focus on the Identity aspect.

Now, it took me a little while to figure out RWBYs deal but I think the main themes for Volumes 1-3 are also Friendship and Heroism. Once again, I'll mostly focus on Heroism and touch on Friendship more briefly later.

I dont have much more to add to YGOs themes right now, so I'll briefly go over Heroism in RWBY.

In RWBYs setting there are these man-eating monsters called Grimm that have basically infected the planet. In order to deal with that, they have people called huntsmen and huntresses that kill them and protect people. Theyre trained at special academies like Beacon and go on missions there and stuff like that. Our four main characters, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Yang, are training to become huntresses and one day they go on this mission to clean up a grimm infested city block with one of their teachers. Obviously, that takes a long time so they have to camp out in one of the empty houses. Weiss, Blake and Yang cant sleep because theyve been thinking about this question that their teacher asked them when they were fighting grimm: "Why do you want to become a huntress?"

They have a heart to heart and we find out about their motivations; Weiss wants to bring honour back to her family, Blake want to distance herself from the White Fang (that terrorist organization I mentioned earlier) and as an extension from Adam, Yang wants to have a life of adventure. They also talk about why Ruby wants to be a huntress and it turns out that she judt wants to help people. Unlike the others, she has no motivation besides that. We're meant to listen to that and look at her as a sort-of personification of Heroism: kind, but not naive, strong and most of all, selfless. The others on her team are not portayed as bad for not being like Ruby by any means but we are clearly meant to admire her the most out of all of them.

Okay, now comes the part Ive been looking forward to the most:

3. How did these themes evolve in the Modern Series'?

Alright, before we can really delve into the way they evolved in YGO I'll have to give you a brief summary of the character progression. At the start of DM, during the Duelist Kingdom arc, Yami Yuugi is just that; A darker Yuugi. Hes more confident, bolder, his voice is deeper, hes somehow taller, more ruthless, all that good stuff. Notably, he doesnt actually seem more skilled than Yuugi even at the start of this story, but he's still dependent on Yami. Yami on the other hand, has no identity of his own or even hints at one at this point. He's just The Other Yuugi.

Then during the Battle City arc, they find out that Yami was actually a pharao prior to being sealed in the puzzle, he just didnt know because of amnesia, I guess. So now they need to find out his real name and then send him to the afterlife because hes meant to be dead, but not before saving the world from being swallowed by darkness, which is also a thing they have to do now.

Then we finally get to the Memory World arc, where Yami, Yuugi and the rest of the gang astralproject to ancient egypt via puzzle magic. Yami is trying to figure out what the hell is going on and who all these familiar people are, while Yuugi & Co are trying their best to help him. Then some weird shit happens and it turns out that all of that is not just Yamis sealed away memories, but also a giant D&D Shadow Game that will destroy the world if Yami loses. So now theres Pharao!Yami who is still clueless on the metaphorical and literal playing field and Player!Yami, who is kinda controlling himself now? I guess?? Yamis opponent, The Spirit of The Ring, has something similar to that going on where hes both controlling and properly participating in the game. So Player!Yami is now fighting against Player!TSoTR, Pharao!Yami is now fighting against Thief King Bakura (who is like, the human, ancient egyptian version of the Ring Spirit) and Yuugi is now fighting against Yami Bakura (who is like, the human, modern japanese version of the Ring Spirit). Yuugi gets Yamis real name, he and the gang go over to Pharao!Yami and tell him his name, meanwhile Player!Yami is also somehow helping as well and they defeat the Ring Spirit, thus saving the world. Then they travel to modern Egypt, the Ceremonial Duel happens and Yuugi wins, sending Yami to the Afterlife where he can finally rest and that was the series!

I originally wanted to recount the stuff that was going on with the Ring Spirit and his host as well because they parallel eachother, but this summary is already far too long and I think youll get the point without me needing to explain any more.

My point here is, that the story went from being vaguely about Identity, maybe? to being very clearly about Self-Discovery and Learning to Be Independent. I think this is a very good way to evolve the messaging of your story. How does RWBY track on that?

Well, uh... its not great. I will acknowledge that they have tried to introduce new themes and ideas since, even though I wont really be talking about them in this post. But yeah, the whole Heroism thing really regressed.

Like, I didnt explicitly say it when I was explaining grimm earlier, but theyre not going away. The grimm have always been there and people who sign up to become huntsmen and huntresses are effectively signing up for a job that will never truly be done, no matter what they do. Characters like Ruby and even more minor ones like Phyrrah have shown us that that doesnt matter when youre a hero. No life isnt worth saving, no grimm isnt worth killing, no criminal isnt worth arresting. Then, in volume 6 they find out about Salem. Salem is the Big Bad of the show, shes immortal, controls the grimm and is supposed to be very powerful.

What do our heroes do? They give up. Sike! They were just mindcontrolled by monsters or some shit, of course they didnt give up their mission (which is to bring an Important Macguffin to a city called Atlas, sorry I didnt mention it)!

But then they arrive in Atlas (which is llike, a city thats floating over another city called Mantle) and yknow, they do some plot stuff thats not really important right now until the city gets invaded by Salem and this big grimm army she has.

What do our heroes do? Well, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and some side characters are chilling, drinking tea in a mansion and Yang and the B Team were actually trying to do something, but even those efforts seem incredibly minimal.

Oh wait, I also forgot to mention that Ironwood (a fairly minor, vaguely antagonistic character up until now) wanted to lift Atlas even higher to save Atleasian civilians from danger while leaving Mantle vulnerable to Salems invasion.

What would be the most heroic thing to do?

A) Let Ironwood lift Atlas, get as much support as they can down to Mantle and save as many Mantle civilians as they can from the invasion

B) Prevent Ironwood from lifting Atlas but then split up in order to protect both Atlas and Mantle civilians

C) Prevent Ironwood from lifting Atlas and then dont do anything else

Congrats! If you choose C, you think exactly like the writers!

And I just

This is so mindboggling to me, I feel like I shouldnt even have explain how this is bad. And like, it wouldve been so easy to actually make them seem herokc through their actions, to make it seem like they did try but no.

I have never seen a central theme be this botched, how in the world did they do that? Why did they think it was a good idea for Ruby "The Embodiment of Heroism" Rose to sit in a mansion doing nothing, no planning, no organizing just ..... God, how are they this bad? Like, this doesnt even have anything to do with it being planned in any way, this is just straight up incompetence

4. Very briefly touching on friendship

The friendship is awful and its not solely because they all have the same opinions. They barely interact with eachother outside their designated pairs which leads to it all feeling incredibly hollow. Theyre also practically indistingushable from one another now, which is a shame because it wasnt always like that. Like, I dont think the characters were that well-developed in earlier volumes but they were very well-characterized. But now we've gotten to a point where you can literally copy and paste one characters dialogue onto another and literally nothing changes, it really sucks.

5. Some closing words

Damn, this took way longer than I thought it would and now Im pretty exhausted. I have no idea how yall always write these but props to you! I feel like this ended up a bit rambly but overall, Im pretty proud.

Please let me know what you think of the points I brought up! Id also really appreciate some tips on how to get better at these longer posts because I am planning on writing more in the future (not the near future, probably but yknow).

Thats all I have to say for now, thanks for reading!

Stupid random theories, headcanons, and unpopular opinions of mine

Btw, these are all long so sit tight

My mangle theory :

I cant be the only one here who thinks that mangle was taken apart by little kids. It wouldn't make sense that little toddlers would be strong enough to pull apart a metal robot. That's because the kids didnt break her, william did. Mangle seems like he was an inspiration from funtime foxy because sister location happened before AND a lot of times, "toy foxy" is often referred to "funtime foxy". Due to this inspiration, mangle had the ability to record voices and things just like funtime foxy. Why am I pointing this out? Well, why would mangle randomly have static noises and a broken radio sound? It's her recorder, it's broken. He recorded many things and then recorded something that someone didnt want anyone to find out about. That someone would be William afton. William is always suspicious and doing evil things.Let's say that, oh idk, maybe William murdered someone, some person called the cops on him, (which explains the police messages n stuff in the radio) William killed that person and his the evidence of the murders. At least that's what he thought. Mangle was somehow recording the whole thing. William had no other choice but to take her apart and destroy him. But then William thought that it would to suspicious to have mangle be randomly broken the next day and so he fixed mangle up in way where it looks like shes fixed, but one tug hes broken and the kids are there to blame for. All of this might be a stretch I know, but apparently in one of the fnaf 2 minigames where theres a mangle Sprite, in the files or sources codes or WHATEVER IDK, there's a hidden message that says "he was here" or something like that. THAT CAN SUPPORT THIS THEORY errr headcanons? Idk I should go sleep lol

Micheal headcanon:

I always wanted to believe that Micheal was the older brother/Bully and that the bite victim was a different character. Why? Because I want more..character for Micheal. He went to sister location because he wants his torn apart family to be back together. He went to save Elizabeth and he never forgave himself for being the one to 'kill' his brother and all that failed. I wanted Michaels story to be exciting and emotional because of his past and the whole family thing

I also always liked to think that Micheal started working out to gain some strength before becoming a technician because he knows that the robots are strong and dangerous. That way things can be more action packed with Michael punching through pipes and walls, and holding back animatronics trying to grab him, and just...cool stuff

Fnaf headcanons:

Freddy has a nice deep voice and that's his real voice. When it comes to preforming during the day, he talks in his "family friendly" voice which is all goofy and fun (kinda like Patrick star's voice) The animatronics are a lot different on stage. It's as if they play as characters and they change their voices sometimes (like Freddy). Chica acts like this ditzy cute country gal, Bonnie is a laid back chill bon, foxy is just more ...pirate, and Freddy is a fun loving silly lead singer

Nightmarriones pupils change shape to Express his emotions. (Sad=tear drop pupils, sick=swirly pupils, angry=skull or fire pupils)

Lefty has his own voice instead of a whispery girly voice because he is his own character. He may look like the rockstars but he was made differently. The rockstars were built by some factory or company and they have advanced technology which gives em the ability to have emotions, personalities and to do tricks. Meanwhile lefty was built by henry in a shed or something. Henry only focused on programming him to find charlie and he had to make lefty look like the rockstars to blend in and not be suspicious. Other than that, lefty was a total rush job. Henry only wanted Charlie therefore, Henry didn't care to give lefty a personality, emotions, an EYE, or stablness.

In the afton family, the mother is sweet, kind, caring, and over protective while william is outgoing, silly, and isnt afraid to do anything (before he went insane). Usually kids have similar personalities to their parents soooo I like to think that Micheal is more like his mom but looks like his dad and that Elizabeth looks like her mom but acts like her dad. Why? Because I always saw Michael as a hero, he cares for others and he wants to save his family. He is sweet and protective like his mom. Elizabeth is rebellious and sassy. In the sister location mini cutscene with William and Elizabeth, she disobeys william to see baby and that's a rebellious move. Elizabeth likes adventure and crazy things so she wont follow the rules any time soon.

Funtime chica does all the rockstar's make up. When months pass by, the rockstar's paint would peel or chip and so ft. Chica would repaint their lipsticks, eye shadows, cheeks, etc. And they look fresh and new afterwards

Even though puppet and Goldie (and all the other animatronics) have been through so much shiz, they still try to keep their cool and enjoy life

In the rockstar crew r. Bonnie is the creepiest. Yeah, he seems chill and is self centered, he is the only rockstar who is most likely to murder someone if he's told to do so (this isn't counting ucn where they all kill). All on Bonnie's songs are so creepy and he sings about killing you in unique ways. Stuff like making slivers (or slippers) out of you, flaying your flesh, smashing your face into concrete, ending your life, and stabbing your heart with his guitar. He's definitely into gory stuff

Springtrap has two different personalities. Most of the time he's himself, spring bonnie. A kind fun loving bun who completely changed his personality after becoming springtrap. He is know constantly scared, upset, and afraid of Williams next move. He hates being an evil monster but it's not something he can control due to William still having control over him. When the slringbonnie side of springtrap gets mad or upset that's when hes weak and William takes control and becomes the evil side of springtrap. Springtrap is very aggressive and very strong. Slringbonnie tries to fight back Williams spirit, but as time went on and when the kids got sent free, spring bonnie got lonely and gave up which let William take full control over him. Sprjngbonnie is gone, its William now (which explains scraptrap)

Idk if this is a theory or headcanon but fnaf 1 bonnie is blue. Yes, he is known to be purple and everyone says and draws him purple but he's blue. Maybe it's the certain blue color he is but due to lightning it makes him look very purple. When he's in more darker areas, bonnie is very blue but when he's in the light areas, hes purple. Let's not forget how every single version on bonnie is blue (except for extras like spring springbon and bonnet etc.) Exept for fnaf 1 bonnie. That doesn't make sense if one of the originals would be purple but all the other versions are blue. One more thing, in the silver eyes, they mention that bonnie has blue fur ;) this was a dumb rant sorry

Shadow bon is evil and can shape shift cause hes a goopy shadow boy and shadow fred is his lil assistant

After fazbears fright burned down, William got to take control over springbonnie(trap) and roamed the streets at night. He roamed dark allies and probably killed whoever slighted him. It was a long walk but he was just trying to get to his destination, fred bears diner. Because of the fires, the springtrap suit was more ruined and unsturdy and so it was time for a change. Somehow William got out of the suit but he's weak without one so he picked an old spring bonnie suit, scraptrap. (According to the fnaf minigames there are multiple spring bonnie suits so that why spring trap looks different)

I got more headcanons but this post is already to long :p

My Unpopular opinions:

Am I the only one here who's not way into the whole Michael AI theory?? Like it kinda makes sense but at the same time, making a whole new robot son with advanced technology IN THE 80s does not give the fnaf-y feel?? Ya know what I mean? Like it doesn't fit the theme? Also the ai thing is in the books and the books are a different universe from the games sooo idk why matpat still connected them?? Hsjsbsjsjsn fnaf is just waaaaay to confusing. Also please dont get mad at me for this opinion cause matpats ai thing is just a theory, its not canon

Foxy isnt super great. Dont get me wrong, I love foxy and he's an amazing character but I don't get why he got so much attention and hype

Bonnet and lolbit should just be canon already. They're not canon characters but they're included in sooo many things in fnaf so might as well make em canon

Funko needs to make a fnaf 2 figure set where you collect t.chica,t.bonnie,t.freddy, puppet, one of the withereds or shadows and you collect them all to make a mangled mangle figure. I would DIE for a fully formed noodle fox figure, how cool would that be?

Scraptrap design is perfect. I know that we all make peanut and Jimmy neutron jokes but honestly I love his sharp teach, creepy eyes, AMazInG voice, and his stabby arm. Sometimes in some angles, he can look heck a creepy

SCRAP BABY LEGITIMATELY FREAKS ME OUT SHES SCARY

butter sock

also i really want to write a magical starsign au???? 

like, i’ve been playing the game recently and the story is so good? i feel like it would really work as a fic. and get this: there are six main characters! so like yeah it would be cool to try and write a fic based on that game. 

but knowing me i’d probably make it jae x everyone lololol i ain’t kidding around. i love allllll the jae ships.

it’s basically: b.a.p as magical wizards who go on a space adventure and save the entire universe

(you don’t have to read the next paragraph. it just gives a lil context)

and so....magical starsign’s plot is basically these six kids go to this magic school and then one day boom theyre going on a space adventure but everything goes real bad and shit because like they all end up on different planets. and the main character (playable character? you? idk what to call it? the equivalent of ‘my unit’ in fire emblem) and the first character end up on the earth planet and save these people that live underground (from starvation or something? i can’t quite remember. its like in ‘a bug’s life’ where they fight an enemy taking the food...or something) and then they get this neat ass rocket and when theyre taking off (theyre aiming for the wind planet here) they get attacked by MOTHERFREAKING ROBOTS YES and shit happens and they end up on the water planet. and on the water planet, its frozen over?? funky. anyway they find the body of a robot that suspiciously looks like their robot friend (recruitable character ay yes) but he’s missing a head? anyway turns out sOME GUY STOLE THE HEAD TO USE AS A BATTERY FOR HIS HEATER BECAUSE HE COULDNT FIND HIS REGULAR BATTERIES and then boom boom pow you defeat freaking space pirates and shut down the ice machine that froze the planet over, thus saving the people yayyyy. then you choose which planet to go to; wind planet to find someone theyre looking for or wood planet to defeat more space pirates (to me the story makes more sense if you go wind planet tho so i’m going with that for now). right so they go to the wind planet and turns out your other wizard friend is there being hunted by the space police and you get to save hiiiiiim and then its all happy. also you meet a twig that can walk and talk and its called ‘twigdamus’. i love it. so then they get their asses to the wood planet where this village has taken your fourth buddy and has him tied to a pole because their forced to give up magicians to the space pirates (or else). and bam later he espaces on his own and you have to make your way through the mighty jungle to get to the space pirates and when you do, you find your fifth and final recruitable character but she’s like fucked in the head or something because she basically goes “fuck you guys” and leaves with the space pirates for the fire planet. then the five people you do have haul ass to the fire planet and dwnjnf it takes forever but eventually you get her on your side and then....i dont know the story keeps going. basically you find there’s a guy called kale who wants to destroy the entire universe and the six kids have to stop him;;

(you can read the next paragraph. it’s ??? a thing??? i talk about ships)

sooooooooooooooooooooooooo i’m thinking; youngjae would be the main character (helloooo he’s my hero, he should be the story’s main hero) and he winds up on the earth planet with jongup. (i’m so into youngup rn its insane). also because theres a big rocket crash...i need a cute healing scene like??? a lot??? anyway these boys save the underground people because theyre flipping amazing. also, having jongup be first means youngjae spends the entire adventure with him and for some reason thats just so cute to me??? like one of those ‘together through it all type things’. also means jongup practices wind magic which tbh based on the game, i feel like would be really cool for him. then they haul ass to the water planet and i know they find a robot so it should be junhong but i’d probably get rid of all that jazz so theres no robot. instead, i’d probaly make it that they basically go straight to defeating the pirates and since we know the pirates are kidnapping mages, i’d have youngup free the imprisoned mages and one of them happens to be a member of b.a.p. and i’m thinking yongguk. bc i freaking love bangjae and i need them to have 14848252 interactions. also that means that yongguk practices earth magic and i’d say thats pretty spot on. also just picture...bangjaeup hanging out on the beach together after unfreezing the planet *heart eyes*. aight then they go to the wind planet. who should the space police be after??? my mind screams junhong just because i feel like he could accidentally get himself into trouble or something idk its 3 am. also i need like a....’youngjae saves junhong and then junhong gives him the biggest and cutest fucking hug ever’ type scene. theyre hugs are cut af. and that means junhong practices wood magic (basically plants n nature n stuff ooooh) which i think is really flipping cute???. yeah so then they get to the wood planet and theres the village with the next b.a.p member whose been captured. i initially thought daehyun but after careful consideration im thinking himchan. idk why. but like i just feel like it fits. and like that means daehyun gets to be the betraying snake dude later. which also means when they reunite, daejae will have the most dramatic flipping reuinion in the wholegame and i live for drama. and then theyre all together and the six of them save the entire universe!!!! while five of them just love and adore youngjae and wanna be with him because he’s amazing and everybody loves youngjae and whooooo jaeships 

i want this so bad. freaking B.A.P AS MAGICAL WIZARDS WHO GO ON A SPACE ADVENTURE TO SAVE THE ENTIRE SOLAR SYSTEM

Here’s this survey thing

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up. dont use itunes anymore so spotify but same thing...santeria by sublime. she likes girls by metro station. different people by no doubt. we can make love by SoMo. when the end comes by andrew belle. my humps by tbep XD

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Gwen Stefani, no doubt ;) :D

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. "yeah" he said. The light turned green. I braced myself.

4) What do you think about most? um well it depends on the day and time and what not but I guess lately just a certain person. and also about traveling and where I wanna go.

5) Ever had a poem or song written about you? yes both

6) Do you have any strange phobias? eh not really strange..theyre all pretty common

7) What's your religion? Christian/non-denom

8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? walking to the car or inside XD

9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? No Doubt

10) What was the last lie you told? hmm honestly i'm not sure. I'm not really the lying type

11) Do you believe in karma? ehh... in a sense but idk

12) What does your URL mean? um well its part of my middle name... play on the word daydreams...cause i daydream alot lol

13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? i hate that question lol

14) Who is your celebrity crush? it changes alot but currently Anna Kendrick

15) How do you vent your anger? depends. lately I workout. but sometimes I draw or paint or listen to music or just sleep really. sometimes i just reblog things on tumblr or write something

16) Do you have a collection of anything? um kinda... vans, i used to have a lot more cause I worked there but i guess i dont really anymore. books and dvds. um hmm...i feel like i used to collect something else but cant think of it

17) Are you happy with the person you've become? for the most part, yes. theres always room for improvement :)

18) What's a sound you hate; sound you love? hate-utensils scratching on a plate. love-my cats purring

19) What's your biggest "what if"? ugh, stop.

20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes to both...but probably in different sorts of ways than most people believe in them.

21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. right-beanbag chair. left-box of cheezits

22) Smell the air. What do you smell? the macncheese i just ate

23) What's the worst place you have ever been to? hmm good question... idk really. i've enjoyed pretty much all the places ive traveled to

24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender? uh hmm no one comes to mind atm haha. im too gay i suppose XD but i guess ill say zayn

25) To you, what is the meaning of life? please dont get me started. i could write an essay

26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? well yes i drive but dont have my license... never crashed.

27) What was the last movie you saw? Pitch Perfect 3!!!! so amazing

28) What's the worst injury you've ever had? when I broke both arms at once

29) Do you have any obsessions right now? its something new all the time really im always obsessing haha i guess anna kendrick

30) Ever had a rumor spread about you? ugh yes

31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? not usually..it depends. a lot of times its not even a grudge..i forgive easy but bitter feelings stay a while in certain instances

32) What is your astrological sign? aquarius

33) What's the last thing you purchased? a movie ticket

34) Love or lust? L.O.V.E.

35) In a relationship? nope

36) How many relationships have you had? 4...and a 1/2 XD long story

37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? um just be myself..not really a weapon lol

38) Where is your best friend? i dont even know who that is anymore :/

39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? sleeping

40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? yes i think so..id probably annoy myself at somepoint. hell i already do lol but im alright XD

41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? stop, help the dog. animals are just as important as people. if someone cant understand that oh well. i cant always find another job. but animals are life.

42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? probably those most important to me b) What do you do with your remaining days? quit work. go traveling. spend time with my favorite people and my animals and eat a whole hell of a lot lol c) Would you be afraid? maybe a tad at first but i'm not too afraid of dying, I know i'd be with God and away from the pain of this world. i'd moreso be a little afraid of the pain i might possibly have while still alive

43) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? hollback girl :D

44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? so many things but just... two people that love each other that click and mesh and would do anything for each other and just make each other happy and take care of each other... alot of things i suppose though.

45) How can I win your heart? hmm. just be yourself. be respectful. be sweet. be funny..even if in your own dorky awkward way. be kind and thoughtful. put me first just as much as i put you first. just be genuine and real and true and never lie to me. just, be real.

46) Can insanity bring on more creativity? oh yes

47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? hmm damn what a question. honestly.... I really don't know the answer to that. not that i havent made good decisions. but... idk what was the best. gotta think on that.

48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? hmm ive never thought about it lol honestly when i'm gone...do whatever the hell you want haha but i guess if i had to choose..something about my kindness or uniqueness ? idk i try to be kind and different lol

49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "heart." cant say right now

50) Basic question; what's your favorite color/colors? purple, black, silver, blue

51) What is your current desktop picture? its just black no picture not sure why i havent changed it

52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? thats horrible. honestly i wouldnt do that to anyone..even the people i dislike most. well actually, maybe donald trump XD but no still even then i dont think i could do it even though i'm sure itd make america great again XD

53) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on? hmm honestly idk im a very honest person

54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? those are too many words you couldnt just ask me what superpower i want?? XD so now i'm gonna be a bitch and not answer

55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? um. its between two. both of which involve time with someone important..cant choose which

56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? losing people that were important to me

57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? hmm i guess if i had to choose right this second... anna kendrick.. pretty sure ive mentioned her like a hundred times in this survey

58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? right now ummm...boston

59) Ever been on a plane? many times

60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities. Anna Kendrick. Channing Tatum. Jennifer Lawrence. Nicole da Silva. michelle rodriguez