A passionately anti-democratic conspiracy theorist who doesn't chew his breakfast so he can conserve his energy in preparation for the impending class war. He's a footballer, but also a capable electrician and knitter. He has an English accent, but he's actually Swiss. He's the hottest guy at Richmond FC.

pairing: santa!francisco "frankie" morales x fem!reader

word count & rating: 2.4k words | explicit - minors dni

summary: more santa frankie porn anyone?

tags: santa kink???, free use, spreader bar, creampie, come eating, facefucking, throatpie, anal sex, degradation, cum, pet names (honey, little girl, sweet girl, baby), praise, CUM AGAIN GUYS LIKE IDK WHAT HAPPENED HERE.

notes: i have had too much alcohol to edit this so take it as is. this is the part where i tell you i am actually gonna go on hiatus now, no posting from me. merry christmas, and to all a good night!!!!!

The spreader bar has your legs cramping, pulled tight against your body as your knees touch your bare chest. You’re wet, dripping and aching as you wait for him to get back. During the visit this morning, Santa saw to it that your pussy was put to good use, cumming inside you twice before he lapped at what dripped out. He’d left you with a swat on your thigh, promises of turning you into a toaster strudel later on something for you to hang onto.

It’s been hours since then, his cum still leaking from your used hole as you lay spread on this dark oak work bench. By your count, it’s been about a month and a half since the incident at the mall. True to his words, once the holiday season had wrapped, Santa whisked you away from the harsh reality of your real life back to the magical wonderland of Christmasville. Here, you have nothing to worry about—except, of course, swallowing Mr. Claus’ snowy load. Despite your efforts, you have yet to convince him that you’re a good girl.  Luckily you’ve still got most of the year to get him to change his mind.

You can hear the soft metal thud of the unlatched security bar falling from its place within the metal frame. Before being turned into an elf’s workshop-slash-playroom, this had been a stable for Dasher, Dancer, and the rest of the fleet. Now, it was where you stayed, getting very little sleep between the raucous orgasms that Santa Claus brought you with the smooth glide of his sugary cane. Your favourite activity was sucking his cock, Santa’s cum settling on your tongue with a slow-rolling sweetness to it.

When the barn doors swing open, he’s there, eyes waiting to take you in.

“You been a good girl while I was gone?” he asks.

“Yes, Mr. Claus,” you say softly.

“Hmm. I don’t know about that, little girl.”

“Please, Santa. I’m a good girl, I promise. I don’t know how I can prove it to you.” The fine links of metal that connect the leather cuffs that bind you to the bar between your legs rattle when you huff.

“In what world do good little girls talk back?” Fra—Santa asks.

He stalks over to your body with pounding steps. Santa rounds the table towards the end closer to your head rather than your pussy. He hauls you to the edge of the work table, your head jutting out from the edge of the surface. Immediately, he begins unbuttoning the front of his striped long johns. Whipping out his stunningly long cock, he rubs the swollen head across the seam of your lips. Sticking your tongue out, you lap at the sugary precum beading at the very tip of him. He pulls it away and smacks the length of himself against your cheek.

“Gotta teach you a lesson about politeness then, huh?”

Santa digs the thumb of his right hand into the crook of your jaw, forcing your mouth open. As soon as your lips part, he’s shoving his cock inside. He blocks your airway with his dick, sliding all the way to the back of your throat. A short thatch of hair tickles your nose.

“That’s right, little girl. Nice and quiet, huh? That’s how I like you.”

He runs the rough pads of his fingers over the skin of your throat, poking it with a firm press to touch himself. The action has you gagging, breaths stuttering as they come out of your nose.a

“Swallow,” Santa instructs you. You do as your told, swallowing around his cock as he rests inside your throat. “Bet you like it when I keep my sleigh in the garage like this. Nestled deep inside of you while you keep my cock warm. S’all you need to do, honey. No need to get all fussy, alright?” he asks.

You try your best to nod, telling him you understand. Still, he isn’t convinced.

“See, you’re hearing me but I don’t think you quite get it. Gotta really—” He withdraws from your mouth the slightest bit, only to slam back in with force from his hips. You choke again. “—communicate the point. Drive it home.”

He sets a punishing pace fucking your face, using your mouth for all it’s worth. Every time your throat bobs with a swallow, he squeezes your neck. The diminished airflow keeps you hazy, lightheaded as your vision swims. The sight and smell of him taking you like this has you wetter than the Atlantic Ocean, slick dripping from you down the seam of your ass.

“My little baby think’s she knows what’s best, huh? Only I get to determine when you’ve been a good girl. I know you think you are, but trust—fuck—trust me. Santa knows.”

Those words have you moaning around him, drool gathering on your lips and at the corners of your mouth.

“Gonna give you a little treat, alright? See how you like it.”

With another few thrusts, he’s spilling his silky load down your throat. Santa grunts roughly as each stripe paints your gullet. When he’s finished, he gives your cheek a gentle slap.

“Good job, honey,” he says as he slips out of you.

Hauling air into your lungs, your throat feels clogged. Cheekily, you blow him a bubble with the remnants left in your mouth. This earns you a rare-sought smile as he pops it, sticking his thumb in your mouth to suck. You lave your tongue over the ridges of it slowly, watching as Santa tucks his balls and cock into his fleece pants once again.

“You’re learning,” he whispers. From down here, it almost sounds endearing.

Santa uses the leverage on your head to push you back onto the table fully, the back of your skull resting against the warm table. Then he moves to the other end of your body, unlocking the small locks along the cuffs to release your hands and feet. Instinctively, you curl into yourself, nursing the spasming pain in your muscles.

You’re shocked when Santa engulfs your body in his arms, picking you up from the table in a cradling position.

“How does a nice hot bath sound?” he asks.

“Good, Santa. I’d like that,” you say. “Please and thank you.”

“Aw, honey. Bein’ a good little whore teaching you some manners, is it?”

He carries you from the shed-workshop, shielding your body from the Christmasville cold with the fluffy fabric of his coat sleeve.

“That’s a fuckin’ good girl,” Santa groans. You’re on his knees for him, panting against the table as you crane your neck to get a look at him. His eyes are trained to your rear, watching as he feeds his cock past the tight rim of your ass.

Your pussy flutters at the alluring sight, Mr. Claus purely enraptured as you take him into your body. He settles in your hole, pausing to savour the restricting warmth around his already spent cock. He’s been out here for a while, fucking your throat to train you out of that pesky gagging habit. Then he’d moved onto your pussy, giving it some well-deserved attention (his words) and wringing two orgasms from you.

“You’ve got a cute little cookie,” he says. “But nothing can beat the feel of this tight ass, honey.”

“Please, Mr. Claus. I need it,” you whisper.

“You’ll get it, little girl. Gonna be leaking pure Christmas Claus from all of your sweet fuckholes in no time.”

When he moves, he starts off slow, the glide aided by a generous helping of your slick, his cum, and some sort of sparkling lubricant.

“Snowman tears, honey. This shit will keep you slicker than egg nog.”

Each slow thrust has you moaning softly, the new sensation of fullness almost too much for your brain to process. You can’t think straight—not that you do much of that too often anymore anyway. Santa keeps a solid grip on your hips as he spears you, moans growing louder with each slide in and out of your asshole.

“Anyone ever had a piece of this brownie back here, little girl?”

“N-no, Mr. Claus. Just you.”

“That’s very nice to hear,” Santa says. “Ho ho, baby. This might just be enough to get you off that naughty list.”

Another thrust has you muttering a curse.

“Or not,” he says. “Sometimes I think you wanna stay there, honey.”

God, yes. Absolutely. If being bad gets you all of this? You’ll stay naughty forever.

Santa picks up speed, hand slithering down your side to find your clit. He takes advantage of your soaking folds, swiping a finger between them before returning it to your swollen nub. He pinches and pulls at it for a moment, more painful than pleasurable, before swirling around it with his index in time with every thrust.

Your forehead wrinkles as you draw your brows together, focusing on the candied coil of pleasure winding tighter and tighter in your low belly. Squeezing your ass around him earns you a drawn out moan and a harsh slap on your left cheek.

“Fuckin’ little whore, aren’t you baby? Born for this, eh? Shit, this hot little ass is gonna be full of me.”

“Please Santa. Mr. Claus, I need it.”

“How bad do you need me, little girl? How bad d’you need your Santa?” he asks.

Your Santa. Like Mrs. Claus isn’t his wife, like the world doesn’t turn on his holiday dial. If he’s yours right now, there’s no way you’ll ever get to keep him.

“So bad, Santa. I need it so, so bad. Need to take it. Feel it drip out of me.”

You gasp with a particularly harsh thrust, teeth set on the edge of your lip. He flops over your back, chest meeting your spine as he turns you into a festive twinkie. When he’s done emptying himself inside you, Santa pulls his cock out of you in one go. You can feel it dribble past your fucked out sphincter, leaving dots of icing at the edges of your pussy.

He runs a soothing hand down your spine, moving around the work table to take your face into his hands.

“Santa’s little girl,” he coos. You aren’t sure if he’s talking to you or not. When he slips two fingers past your lips, you forget about it instantly.

He takes them away just as quickly, returning to your ass as Santa gathers his cum that’s spilled out of you and presses it back into your hole. Over-sensitivity rocks your body in waves, each gentle push of him of him cramming cum back inside giving you shivers.

You lay on the floor, thick blankets beneath you as you look up. Santa holds himself over you, inside of you, panting into the crux of your neck. You can still feel him pulsing, thick cock stretching you open as he grits his teeth through his orgasm. When he’s finished, he carefully pulls away from you to lay on his back beside you.

“You’re a good girl, honey,” he says. You can feel his cum start to leak back out of you.

“You think so?” you ask.

“I know so,” Santa says. “Don’t play coy. You know it too.”

You roll onto your side, hips parallel with the floor. Holding your head up with your arm, your eyes find his. “Then why am I still here?”

It’s been months. By now, it must be nearing the warmer months of the year in places unlike Christmasville—which stays bitterly cold all year long. If he knows that you’re good, if you’ve earned a spot on the nice list…why has he kept you?

“I’ve grown a little fond of you, I guess.” You give him a curious look. “Lonely out here for an old man.”

He doesn’t look that old, but you don’t comment on it. Instead, you say, “It gets lonely back home for me too.”

“I can’t imagine how that’s true,” Santa says.

You stretch your legs, toes bending as his sticky spend smears between your thighs. “I don’t know how to explain it. Kind of like a resounding emptiness. Everyone’s moving a little too fast to catch them in time. Here, it’s…slower. You’ve got a moment to appreciate the little things.”

The soft line of his jaw, the white-grey beard that he keeps trimmed shorter now than when you first met. The way his eyes roll back when you twirl your tongue in tricks around his cock, or the smile he gives you when a particular moan of yours spurs him on further. Not yours, not yours, not yours. Mr. Claus is not the present he promised you. He is a man and myth covered in red tape—do not touch. Even though that’s literally all the two of you ever do.

Santa Claus lets out a deep yawn, pulling at the white whiskers of his mustache above his lip. He’s only clothed from the waist up, his plush coat unbuttoned as it hangs loose by his hips.

He blinks a few times, eyes finding yours. “Come here, little girl.”

Santa motions you closer to him. You scoot across the soft fabric—had he said it was polar bear pelt?—and let him envelope you with his arms.

Your relationship has evolved much beyond the simple terms of Santa and his little toy. The sex is gentler, and he shows up more often now. Sometimes in the middle of the night, when you’re half asleep and drowsy. Your encounters don’t always start with sex now, either. Cuddling, gentle caresses to the skin of your throat and clavicle.  He always holds you as he does now, a sense of dread crawling through your gut as you anticipate when Santa will take his leave.

You don’t love Santa Claus. That thought alone is insane. But then again, none of this makes a lot of sense in the first place. Sure, he’s married. Sure, he is the most prolific gift-giver of contemporary western culture, a holly jolly icon for children and corporations everywhere. He is already everyone else’s. Does that mean he can’t be yours, too?

Santa presses a kiss to your shoulder, pulling you from your thoughts. His cum is still seeping out of you, his cock wet and spent against the back of your thigh. These aren’t things to think about right now. Another time.

Roy and Jamie's relationship is one of my favourite parts of TL, but the period between 2x10-3x04 when they're not antagonistic anymore but also not really friends, and their interactions mostly consist of Roy threatening to kill Jamie and slapping food out of his hands, is near the top of my list of writing decisions I did not like.

It's not that I think the two of them should have immediately started getting along post-Wembley or that I think Jamie necessarily should have found those moments triggering — it would have been a perfectly legitimate choice if the writers had gone that route, but given that James seems to be able to put on a friendly(ish) front based on what we know from the Amsterdam story, I could see how Jamie might find how upfront Roy is about his anger reassuring — but because it does a disservice to Roy as a character.

You have this man who's so painfully aware of his flaws, who cares so deeply about the people he loves but is afraid he'll drag them down and infect them with the worst parts of himself, who steps up to take care of his former rival — someone who embodies everything he once was and never will be again — when he's vulnerable and terrified after being abused by his father in front of the whole team. And then a couple of episodes later he threatens to knock Jamie's teeth down his throat.

Fundamentally, I think it's a matter of blending comedy with serious storylines, which TL generally does well, especially in the first two seasons. But I don't think a serious storyline and its comedy counterpart can effectively coexist in the same show. You can't show a character being threatened and assaulted by his father and then turn around and have another character do the same but it's a joke, this time, without undermining one of those storylines. It's the same with Beard and Jane: one of the main character arcs is Rebecca's difficult, painful healing process after the end of her abusive marriage, but at the same time there's a running gag about a couple that's written like they were playing bingo with the Wikipedia page for domestic abuse.

Solaricks and Setup/Payoff

Solaricks (s6e1) has become my favourite episode of Rick and Morty. There's several reasons why, but the one I'd like to talk about today is.

Solaricks is an excellent example of Chekhov's Gun (the dramatic principle that recommends details within a story will become important to the overall narrative later on).

It's comparable to the "spaghetti disaster" episode in s3e12 of Bojack Horseman--A culmination of various things introduced in different episodes all becoming important for one big event that is greater than the sum of its parts.

In order for the overall plot beats of Solaricks to have happened, and for the viewers to have the full context of the different pieces, they will have watched the following episodes:

S5E10 Rickmurai Jack: The episode starts with Rick and Morty stranded in the Citadel with little hope of rescue. The place is in ruins and they can't portal out of there. This is the aftermath of the previous episode, which was season 5's finale.

S4E10 Star Mort Rickturn of the Jerri: Rick and Morty are then rescued by Space Beth, who is introduced properly in Star Mort Rickturn of the Jerri. (There are also even earlier episodes that lead to her appearance, but her first speaking role is s4e10.)

S2E2 Mortynight Run: Near Solarick's start, Jerry starts glowing green and asks why. Rick explains that they're about to jump to their original dimensions. Jerry then realises he's not from their current dimension because he got swapped with another Jerry in the Jerryboree. An event we see at the end of Mortynight Run as a quick throwaway gag.

S1E6 Rick Potion #9: Morty then gets teleported to a version of Earth that is overgrown, is full of hostile monsters, and meets an alternate version of his father, Jerry, who is now very different. This is the aftermath of the Rick Potion #9 episode wherein Morty and Rick left their version of Earth after being unable to save it.

S1E10 Close Rick-Counters of Rick Kind: The idea of dimension-hopping has been important to the show since episode 1, but we are only fully introduced to the concept that Rick and Morty can meet alternate version of themselves (and ones that are evil) in Close Rick-Counters of Rick Kind. This is key for this episode, as we meet Rick Prime, a version of Rick that is willing to kill his own grandson's father.

S3E1 The Rickshank Redemption: We get a scene with Rick Prime, who was previously introduced in Rick's backstory, which Rick at the time had said was made up. This is later proven to be wrong in s4e10 where Morty glimpses Rick's memories and sees Rick Prime in them. The s3 backstory explained that Rick Prime killed our Rick's wife and daughter.

S3E9 The ABC's of Beth: Rick is able to fight off Rick Prime's robots using his cybernetic arms, which he gave himself in The ABC's of Beth after he gets attacked by a creature in Beth's childhood world Rick built for her.

In total, that's about 7+ episodes spread through 5 different seasons. It's hard for writers of a television series to be able to coordinate the use of Chekhov's Gun within 1 season, but Rick and Morty's unusual commission situation (they were commissioned by Adult Swim back in 2018 to make 100 episodes) I imagine allows the writers to mentally go, "Okay, here's where we are, here's where we should be by season 10." And it's interesting to see how that affects the writing and design of the show.

The episode Solaricks is able to manage a bunch of moving parts in such a way that it shows the writers have been paying attention to past events in the series. It's the care of continuity (something Rick lies about not caring about) that I appreciate.

Feeling nostalgic, so I'm looking back at past Big Brothers. See how strongly I remember them.

2000: BB1

Caught the last two weeks of this, and was HOOKED. I learned of the existence of this show because a teacher built a school assembly around its popularity.

2001: BB2

Watched from launch, utterly obsessed. All the spin-offs, loads of live streams.

2002: BB3

Really into the metagame by this point. Love the nominations. Started studying psychology in school, now believe I'm brilliant at analysing people.

2003: BB4

Very cosy memories of this one. Watched it with my mother and brother, really rooted for lovely Cameron to win. My last summer before uni.

2004: BB5

Big Brother goes evil! My mother sends me VHS tapes so I can watch at uni. While watching the live stream one night, my brother steals my passport to run away to America. It's okay, we get him back.

2005: BB6

Doctor Who's back by this point, so Big Brother's no longer my favourite TV show. I find this one tougher to watch. I don't warm to many of the housemates.

2006: BB7

I auditioned for this one! So glad I didn't get in in retrospect. How different would my life have been? Can't imagine doing standup as a former Big Brother housemate.

Loved the series, though. Two Welsh speakers!

2007: BB8

Strong start to this series - I liked the idea of putting all the women in first, and slowly trickling in the men. But it's won by Brian Bello - very funny, I liked him, but his victory felt like a sign of reality TV becoming more constructed.

2008: BB9

Didn't watch this one. Furious when I found out the winner was Welsh. I turn my back for one minute!

2009: BB10

Enjoyed the series, but once again annoyed by the winner. Which seems strange now! I think today, I'd love the series to be won by a glamour model. Would I? I still gravitate towards the freaks and misfits, but I take a lot more pleasure in the victories of people who incur the snobbishness of the public.

2010: BB11

Skipped this one. It had been too long since I'd really loved a Big Brother, so I decided the magic was gone.

2011: BB12

First Channel 5 series. I'm freelancing by this point, so two weeks before it ends, I watch it all in one go. Loved it!

2012: BB13

All-time favourite series. The winner's a grumpy trans man from North Wales, how could I ask for more? Such an exciting series. And the first one I watched in full while on Tumblr.

2013: BB14

Didn't watch this one. Why not?? Maybe BB13 had been so perfect for me, I didn't have room in my heart for another series. I suppose I was also taking standup a lot more seriously by this point. Maybe I was too busy.

Furious when I found out the winner was Welsh. I turn my back for one minute!

2014: BB15

Very patchy memory of this series. I remember being extremely grumpy about the final. I was away visiting friends, so couldn't watch it live, and then had the winner spoiled for me in the most annoying possible way. Didn't love the winner either.

2015: BB16

Didn't watch this one. Too grumpy from last year. And I bet Jim Davidson had won Celebrity Big Brother by this point, an all-time low point.

I don't know a single thing about this series. Checking Wikipedia, turns out a Welshman came second. I turn my back -

Oh, except I did post a weird joke about this season. I don't think that was based on knowledge, though. I probably just saw people posting about BBUK and posted my own silly gag.

2016: BB17

Didn't watch. Don't know anything about it.

I wish I was a recation videos guy, because I just looked up this series and found out it launched the rise to fame of Andrew Tate!! Woah. First to be evicted, apparently.

In fact, omg - he's the first ever MAN to be the first evicted housemate.

2017: BB18

I weirdly DID watch this one, and I have no idea why. None of my friends were watching it. In fact, I'd forgotten I'd watched it until. I went to file my charts for the current season, BB20, and found that my folder included detailed data for BB18. I didn't just watch it, I kept my most detailed ever diagrams.

2018: BB19

Didn't watch this one. Who knows why?

A Welshman came second. I'm not even surprised at this point.

Pre-lockdown: BB1

Managed to get hold of this series and watched the whole thing. Really interesting to see it through modern eyes - how our values have changed!

2023: BB20

This one's on right now. I'm enjoying it a lot.

So let's recap my gaps - BB9, BB11, BB14, BB16 BB17, BB19. I'd enjoy watching some of these one day.

you’ve probably been asked this before but i really wanna ask, what’s your favourite south park episode? and why?

oh man, this is a hard question. you are right in that several people have asked me this before but each time i think i've found a way to tapdance around picking any specific episode. so i’ll try here.

if you put a gun to my head and asked me to pick what i felt were the three funniest episodes of south park -- perhaps not objectively episodes that should be judged as south park’s best or most humorous, but the episodes that i personally return to most frequently to be entertained -- these are what they would be:

1.) guitar queer-o (s11)

this is the closest i can come to a true favorite episode. everything about this episode works for me: great pop culture rips, stan and kyle fighting about something stupid, the perfect use of randy, etc. south park is often at its best when it leans heavy into parody and i think this episode is a great example as to why. a good deadpan, rug-pull ending also screams Classic South Park. 

2.) marjorine (s9)

this falls right at the end of my personal golden age of south park (roughly seasons 4-9) where, outside of “pip”, there isn’t a single other episode that is either an objectively poor episode or one i dislike, which is remarkable. it’s hard to pick only one from season 9 (follow that egg was begging to be picked, consciously decided not to) but marjorine is stellar -- it’s always fun when butters and his parents have focus, “sometimes... dead is bettah...”, i love gratuitous cartoon violence and the pig viscera splattering on linda cracks me up every time, most importantly any episode that pits boys vs. girls is prime breeding ground for south park, especially when the girls are unknowing or unwitting participants. and most importantly again, clyde.

3.) the return of the fellowship of the ring to the two towers (s6)

costumes. parody. a classic switcheroo. sixth graders and parents alike. what doesn’t this episode have. it’s perfect. the running gag of all the fathers revolting with horror at the title “backdoor sluts 9″ and then needing to excuse why they know of it. great episode.

i had a list of a bunch of episodes to pick from and this was very difficult, truly as far as i;m concerned all these episodes are all as funny as the other, and there are definitely episodes i’ve forgotten and left out.

Recent Films / Shows that have inspired me

Whilst traveling or creating in the recent week, I have had a lot of films and shows just running in the background, and I want to highlight here just a few of the animated ones that I have gained some kind of inspiration from, or that have simply interested me and informed me in some way.

Luca

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I recently re watched the Disney film 'Luca' (2021) for the first time in a while, and came to realise all over again just how pretty and unique the animation style truly is, albeit it being a CGI film puts it a little far out of my current domain of work. I really appreciate how Luca as a film isn't afraid to stray from the usual 'Disney' model style, making the characters look a little kookier and more unique. I think I feel inspired by this film in particular as I have been searching for my own unique animation styles that are simple enough to consider utilising in my work, and Luca proves that even a simple style can be forged into something truly stunning

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Big Mouth Season 7 Ep. 04 - Day Tripping

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Big Mouth isn't a show I particularly enjoy, nor one I particularly like. I find the humour to be overly crude, the subject matter to be handled poorly, amongst many other reasons, but for some reason I find myself returning to watch each new season. I think it may be simply that it's a recent example of ongoing adult animation that has garnered a cult following, and I feel the need to keep up to date, to see how things are progressing. In the midst of my turmoil having come back to watch yet another new season however, I found one scene to be surprisingly beautifully animated. A particular scene in the episode where two of the characters take edibles and begin to hallucinate has stuck with me enough for me to even consider writing about the show. In the scene, the animation style shifts and changes with the development of their high, clearly a hand-drawn animated scene with no use of rigging character puppets. The colours used, variety of styles included and their seamless transitions between styles genuinely shocked me, and I find myself actually wanting to take some notes and inspiration from the scene, something I never thought I would say about a show as notoriously crude as 'Big Mouth'.

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The Simpsons - Season 25 Ep. 12 Couch Gag

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The Simpsons as a show is no stranger to welcoming guest animators to create its couch gags, but one that always comes to mind as my absolute favourite is the Sylvain Chomet sequence. The french animator was welcomed onto the show in 2014 and created one of the most beautiful pieces of animation ever included in The Simpsons to date. The gag is drawn in Chomet's signature style, and breaks up the simplicity of the Simpsons' designs with harsh sketchy lines and detailed shading. Though not a recent gag by any means, almost being at it's 10th anniversary, when casually re watching the series, I found myself falling in love with the gag all over again. It really helps to prove to myself just how detailed animation can become, with enough time and effort allowed. I am personally under time restrictions with this project of course, but the hope this fills me with is enough to prompt some more detailed character designs for my project in the near future.

Big bang theory bazinga ball pit

BIG BANG THEORY BAZINGA BALL PIT TV

The Big Bang Theory Season 6, and Complete 1-6 Boxset are released on Monday 2nd September on DVD and Blu-ray. If you have any other favourites, let us know in the comments, and remember to enter our competition to win The Complete Seasons 1-6 Boxset of The Big Bang Theory here. However, luckily for them it paid off, and it has become one of The Big Bang Theory's most memorable moments. The confidence that the creative team had for this scene must have been high, as they allowed it to run for a good minute, which is a long time when it's essentially the same joke over and over. Sheldon finds this ball pit hide and seek hilarious, as shown by his utterance of "bazinga" every time he emerges. Clearly, he's not meant to be at the mall's ball pit at night and so Leonard must go and retrieve him after a security guard's phone call, but this just results in Sheldon hiding in the ball pit, forcing Leonard to chase him round. Season 3 Episode 14: The Ball Pit The classic extended gag: Sheldon is obsessed with finding the answer to a physics problem and so sneaks out in the middle of the night in the hope that using the balls as physical representations of atoms will help him find his answer (he's already tried and failed with lima beans, peas and marbles). 1 (diving in and out of the ball pit) "bazinga!" the best bazinga moment is when sheldon is diving in and out of the ball pit saying "bazinga!" as leonard tries to grab him.1. in this episode, sheldon was overworked and exhausted. sheldon we love sheldon because hes always making us laugh, even though its usually.

BIG BANG THEORY BAZINGA BALL PIT TV

to simplify his problem, he went to a children's play place and jumped in the ball pit. tv guides official top 10 funniest moments of the big bang theory. though he may be a genius in many ways, sheldon has never been particularly fashionably inclined or knowledgeable. in the third season episode "the pants alternative," sheldon is to receive the chancellor's award for science. penny takes him shopping for a new suit to. We love sheldon because he's always making us laugh, even though it's usually guide's official channel brings you behind the scenes. Sheldon's Best Moments! | The Big Bang Theory About press copyright contact us creators advertise developers terms privacy policy & safety how works test new features press copyright contact us creators. We love sheldon and we know you do too! check out some of our favorite sheldon moments in the hit show the big bang theory. take a look into the life of the one of a kind genius, sheldon cooper, and his funniest moments on #thebigbangtheory. stream like, subscribe, and hit the notification bell for more videos. bit.ly 3b6hdxv sheldon has come a long way. he learned to follow me on instagram, its grimstad95 🙂 if you want me to link your websites or help you get more famous, just send me a the big bang theory best sheldon cooper moments season 1. hope you liked and subscribed and if you like to check my gaming channel out these are some videos off it. please subscribe to these are the best sheldon cooper moments. sheldon we love sheldon because he's always making us laugh, even though it's usually unintentional. Tv guide's official top 10 funniest moments of the big bang theory. #thebigbangtheory #10funniestmomentsbigbangtheory best tbbt moments compilation. these are best sheldon and penny moments. 1 (diving in and out of the ball pit) bazinga the best bazinga moment is when sheldon is diving in and. subscribe for more.I just started watching. Big Bang Theory Sheldon S Best Moments Youtube. It airs weeknights at 7 and 7.30 in my area. It's one of the funniest shows I've seen in a long time. "If you don't come out of there I'm going to drag you out." I almost had a heart attack when I watched the scene with Leonard and Sheldon in the ball pit. Which then lead to Leonard diving in after Sheldon, but having a difficult time trying to grab him. My other favorite thus far was when Sheldon and Leonard's pad is robbed, so Sheldon, feeling insecure, decides to relocate to Bozeman, Montana - which I wonder if it was an indirect reference to Star Trek: First Contact (And also Brannon Braga's place of birth). I laughed so hard when Sheldon first arrives, he's not there thirty seconds and is immediately robbed. What I love about Sheldon is he is incredibly smart but at the same time incredibly dumb.Ĭlick to expand.I think the purpose of the scene at Wil's party was to show him "passing the torch" to Brent Spiner, Sheldon's new famous Star Trek mortal enemy. I think we may see more Brent Spiner on the show in the future. I didn't really like the Bernadette/Howard story either, and I agree that I am starting to like their characters less and less.

The Forgotten Shounen: Katekyo Hitman Reborn

This is not a “Why you should watch/read khr” or anything like that. This is just me going into the deep dive and throwing my findings at you. I’m making this because khr used to be my favourite series when I was 15 (I had plushees, posters, tradingcards, the art book etc) and now as an adult I constantly find myself baffled at how unknow it seems to be.

1. Okay first what is khr?

Katekyo Hitman Reborn! or just Reborn! is a series by Akira Amano which was published in Weekly Shounen Jump from 2004 to 2012 (with 42 volumes) and got an anime adaption which run from 2006 to 2010 on Tv Tokyo (with 202 episodes and one OVA).

2. What’s it about?

Khr is a parody of the italian mafia and plays in a world where the mafia is heavily influencial. The protagonist is the japanese middle schooler Sawada Tsunayoshi who is known as “No good Tsuna” because of his failing grades, general weak and cowardly personality and weak physics.

He becomes aware of the mafia world when a 2 year old baby called Reborn arrives at his house claiming to be the greatest hitman and declaring himself his home tutor. Reborn was send by the 9th head of the Vongola famiglia who is ready to retire and looking for a new heir. Which of course, is supposed to be Tsuna and now it's Reborns job to shape him into a worthy sucessor.

Tsuna rejects the violence of the mafia world and refuses the position as the 10th. Thanks to Reborn and his general craziness Tsuna meets different people and starts to make real friendships. Reborn wants 6 of those friends to be Tsuna's future guardians, basically a group of people which will be closest to him in the vongola famiglia. Tsuna might have no interest in those positions but the friendships he builds with them become really precious to him.

Reborns arrivial also brings in the enemies of the Vongola family which leads to Tsuna being forced to engage in battles. Generally Tsuna openly avoids fights and prefers to run away but will put himself in danger for his friends' sake or because of something Reborn did.

Through out the series Tsuna matures and gains strenght but he never becomes a power fantasy. He's just a guy with many flaws who grows through the human connections he makes.

Personally I think the relationship between Reborn and Tsuna is one of the best student teacher reltaionships in all of manga only topped by Mob and Reigen from Mob Psycho 100. Especially the last arc really underlines their unique relationship to me.

Furthermore, khr offers a new and unique battle system: The flames. I'm not gonna go into to too much detail but the general idea is that one fights with their dying will flame which basically turns off your the savety switch so you can fight with everything you have. The flames are seperated into different categories such as: sky, storm, mist, rain, sun, lightning and cloud and have different attributes asigned to each one. Tsuna's use of the sky flame and his transformation when using it is still one of my favourite shounen transformations to this day.

3. What happened?

The series did really well and then not so well over the course of its serialisation. After the manga got an anime adaption it increased in populairty and video games, light novels, and other products such as CDs were created based on the series. Reborn is one of the best selling series of Weekly Shōnen Jump and has sold around 30 Million volumes overall. It was and still is very popular in Japan but rather unknown in the west.

According to the article "The Rise and Fall of Weekly Shonen Jump: A Look at the Circulation of Weekly Jump" khr was the 10th bestselling series in Weekly Shōnen Jump, with a total of 7 million copies sold in 2007.

This number increasing to 15 milion in 2008. Which placed khr into the 4th best selling series of 2008 in Japan.

Between 2008 and 2010 those sales declined but still kept strong with khr as the 6th top selling manga in 2009, 8th best selling in 2010 and then 24th best selling in 2012.

In November 2014, readers of the Da Vinci magazine voted khr number 17 on a list of Weekly Shōnen Jump's greatest manga series of all time.

After the anime came to an apprupt stop in 2010 for unknown reasons the manga sells took a visible hit. (Apparently the studio wanted to put the anime on halt because they were busy with other projects and give Akira Amano time to develop her story but I couldn't find any source for this claim) Furthermore, the rushed last chapters of the manga in 2012 declined the popularity of the series even more. There's no offical statement as to why the manga was ended in such a way but it's reasonable to assume that Jump either cut it considering the decreasing sales or Akira Amano choose to end it for personal reasons.

Nontheless, Tsuna not being included in Jump Force (a fighting game where you can play as different characters from Jump) in 2019 even tho he made it in earlier Jump Stars games also underlines the decreased interest in the series.

Rumors on a reboot or anime adaption of the last two arcs surface from time to time but are genereally unlikely. Artland the studio which made khr has gone bankrupt around 2015-2016. It might be taken on by another studio but rather uncommen especially with such an old series.

4. Art style

The khr anime ended over 10 years ago and the old art style might not be appealing to newer audiences.

Especailly because the anime adaption follows Akira Amanos old art style which heavily developed within the years. Here a picture comparing characters in the new art style:

A modern anime adaption in the new art style would be aesthetically pleasing. It would probably look similiar to Psycho Pass since Akira Amano did the concept art for this series.

(My personal art student hot take is that both art styles are unique and fun. Up to this day Akira Amano still has my favourite art style and even if the amount folds in the characters clothing is a little extreme I love it dearly.)

5. Criticism

The show is not without flaws and even if I greatly enjoy it it wouldn't be right not to adress them.

Daily Life Arc:

A lot of people view the first 20 to 25 episodes as fillers and quickly lose intererst in the series. This is due to the fact that Akira Amano inteded the series to be a gag manga and focuses the first chapters on world building, character introduction and comical narratives. It's rumored that the decision to develop the story into a battle shounen was made because the sales weren't doing well enough at first. So the first chapters/episodes may seem titidious but are necessary for the story and the development of the characters. The tonal shift from a more gintama like gag manga to a darker battle focused story can also be offputting to some viewers.

Either way a lot of people blame this arc when discussing why khr never got an english dub or didn't end up on Toonami. I've also read that the manga never finished serializing in the north america. However, it finished in other western languages like german and spanish.

Censoring:

The anime censors A LOT. From Gokudera's smoking habit, Yamamoto's whole character arc which deals with heavy themes such as depression and suicidal thoughts. The general bloodiness of the manga was censored and sometimes whole chapters and characters were left out even if those were important to the devolopment of others.

Filler episodes:

Out of the 202 episodes the anime has around 29 filler episodes which makes roughly 14 %.

Sexism:

Even if Reborn was written by a woman most female characters are rather flat and their storylines often tied to a male character in one way or another.

Genereal things:

Khr, like many other long running series, is sometimes criticised for a lack of world building or unpopular narrative choices.

6. Hope?

Khr isn't exactly dead. As stated before the series is still very popular in Japan and still gets new merch pretty regulary. There are also petitions floating around for a reboot or a new anime season but those never get a lot of traction. Furthermore #Reborn2期アニメ化 (#Reborn2ndAnimation) used to get some traction on twitter not too long ago. Last year the Anime News Network did a poll on which anime the readers would like to see a rebooot of and khr placed second.

Either way here's a collection of recent khr things I could find.

- In 2018 a new bluray set was released in north america

- The khr stage play reached yet another new season

- A mobile game was released last year

- Currently ongoing anime cafe event called "Concerto di Vongola"

- Last month there was an event with the former VAs and stage play actors where they discussed their favourite khr episodes.

- There has been an increase in blind reacts to the openings on youtube which might bring in a new fan base. The biggest one I could find had around 90k views and was made in 2019. On this note check out the soundtrack. The first openeing Drawing Days by SPLAY still makes me go insane (but I'm biased of course)

There also renewed hope for a new season/reboot because Shaman King, Inuyasha and Bleach got anounced for new seasons after a long hiatus. It's important to keep in mind that the circumstances for those series are differnt tho. For example bleachs new anime is often tied to the immense success of the gatcha game.

7. Conclusion

Khr is a series which used to be a flagship for Weekly Shounen Jump and is deeply beloved by it's fans, especially in Japan. It influenced other shounen series like bnha. It would be nice to see it gaining a bigger fanbase in the west :)

An Episode Within an Episode: An Analysis of ‘The Zeppo’

The Zeppo is one of those episodes that so consistently shows up on fan lists of “underrated” episodes, that I don’t know if it can really be considered “underrated” anymore, but I think it deserves a little extra appreciation. It’s definitely an episode that takes a second viewing to appreciate, thanks to how oddly it is constructed, in a way that isn’t immediately advertised to the viewer. Other episodes with unusual styles such as Once More With Feeling or Hush very much wear their concepts on their sleeve; you can’t watch them and not immediately realise what they are doing. That’s not a knock against those episodes - part of what makes them so great and iconic is that they get right to the point and so can do interesting things with the concept. The Zeppo is just a quieter kind of unique. It uses the limited perspective of both the characters and the audience themselves to show a cracked-mirror version of the world. It’s an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer told from the perspective of somebody looking in on another episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It’s fun and weird and I want to dig into it a little bit.

We start off with a very typical Buffy scene. In its third season now, the show is pretty aware of and confident in its own tropes, and trusts the audience to be too. We don’t need any build-up explaining exactly what Giles has found out and what spell Willow is performing and what these monsters are doing and exactly how Buffy and Faith know how to kill them. We’ve all seen an episode of Buffy before, and we can fill in the blanks pretty easily. This confidence in the show’s own tropes and what the audience expects of it is key to what makes this episode work. We know exactly how a typical episode of Buffy goes, so we can receive this barely-cliff-notes version of one and understand it perfectly. It’s an episode that can only be done in a show’s third year, when viewers have become fluent in the show’s language.

After the fight and exposition is over, Xander stands up from the garbage, as out of context as we are as viewers. As this is a Xander-centric episode, he becomes the audience identification figure. As the one character not supernaturally gifted or linked in any way (as the episode points out several times), Xander makes sense as the viewer stand-in. Xander comments on how he wants to be more involved in the fights but is firmly rebuffed - and it’s clear he wouldn’t be able to impact them anyway. All he can do is watch the fights and plots happen from a distance. In this sense, Xander is no different to the viewer, watching an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, unable to affect it in any way.

This is where the structure of the episode comes into play. The A plot is a fairly meaningless runaround with zombies, while the B-plot is a finale-worthy epic apocalyptic showdown. We only catch glimpses of it, but it seems to contain all the standard hallmarks of a Buffy apocalypse - an evil cult, opening the hellmouth, tearful Buffy/Angel melodrama. Specifically, it echoes the previous two season finales, with the final showdown apparently featuring both the literal monster from the S1 finale, and some kind of sacrifice that involved Angel (evoking the S2 finale). The very last bit of dialogue we hear during this plot is “Faith, go for the heart!” from Buffy, encouraging her to kill the demon in the library, which you could argue foreshadows the S3 finale, where Buffy will use the Mayor’s love for Faith to kill him in the library. This plot is a facsimile of a Buffy season finale, giving us everything we expect and have seen before, stripped of all context, the very bare bones of a story. 

What this achieves is that it alienates the viewer from this story-within-a story, forcing us into an intentionally uncomfortable position, where it feels like we’re watching an episode through a keyhole. It intentionally exacerbates the divide between viewer and show, to highlight our inability to fully perceive or at all impact this world we tune into each week.

Xander is very purposefully chosen as the POV character for this experience. He is feeling very insecure and ineffectual - unable to help with either brains or brawn, and not having a whole lot of impact on the story. He feels alienated from his friends, fearful that they will leave him behind. The structure of this episode highlights this feeling of ineffectualness. Xander feels so alienated from the events and people around him that he, like the audience, becomes separated from them. A character from Buffy the Vampire Slayer becomes an outsider to the story, watching an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. We are encouraged to empathise with Xander because we are in the same position. We too have been robbed of our usual intimacy with this group of people, forced to perceive the shadows of an episode. This meta-emotion dovetails with the character’s internal mental state nicely.

I think my favourite instance of this meta-perception being played with is in the scene between Buffy and Angel, where we are dropped without context into a tearful, dramatic argument where apparently Angel’s life is in the balance, filled with declarations of love and poetic exaltations, backed by this sweeping orchestral score - and then Xander pops his head in. The music immediately stops, he exchanges a few awkward lines with them before realising they have bigger things to worry about. As he leaves, Buffy turns back to the melodrama and the sweeping music surges back in. It’s brilliantly funny - it feels like Xander put an episode on pause for a quick interjection, then re-started it where we left off. It’s a joke relying entirely on the audience’s expectations of the kind of epic melodrama we might get from Buffy and Angel, and it works really well. In this moment, Xander completely becomes the viewer, peeking in on these two actors, observing through glass.

The Zeppo is very concerned with meta references, TV, and the act of watching. Obviously the title is a reference to Zeppo Marx, and there is also a running gag likening Xander to Jimmy Olsen. We are encouraged to think of Xander in relation to his narrative function as a fictional character, and so to watch this episode through this meta lens. One key shot just after Faith and Xander sleep together shows the two of them literally reflected in a TV screen. We are literally seeing a distorted reflection of reality in a TV screen, which on one level is essentially all we do whenever we watch any television show, but is also what we are seeing within this episode - a fuzzy reflection of a Buffy episode within a Buffy episode.

There’s another shot later that I like, of one of the zombies pausing during the final chase scene to look through the library window at the demon emerging from the hellmouth. We see him looking through the glass at this apocalypse monster for a couple of seconds before continuing on with his chase, like a channel-hopping viewer taking a brief glimpse of Buffy, momentarily enraptured, before switching back to what they were watching before.

One thing that stood out to me on this rewatch was how the villains are described. We purposefully get very little on the group, but what we do get is telling. “’Sisterhood of Jhe. Race of female demons, fierce warriors...' Eww. '...celebrate victory in battle by eating their foes.’”

A race of all-female warriors sounds very much like Slayers. They apparently eat after battles too, which according to Faith is also a feature of Slayers. The villain in this story is kind of a representation of the central concept of the show, which makes sense since it deals with Xander navigating around a typical episode of the show. You could also read it as representative of Xander’s pathologies when it comes to women and specifically women who are stronger than him.

What I like about this episode is that it doesn’t conclude by giving Xander a big important role in stopping the apocalypse, proving his worth to the group. That’s what a lesser show might have done. I like that here, Xander never gets involved with the epic finale-esque plot. He carries on existing in the spaces around it, becoming instead the hero of the monster-of-the-week runaround episode he has found himself in. Xander cannot be the hero of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, because he’s not Buffy. But he is still a human being, and all of us as human beings are the protagonists and heroes of our own stories. He can be the hero of his own life. 

S3 is largely about identity and forging one’s own path in life - obviously Buffy starts by having given up her name, then has to deal with facing off against her dark equivalent and making major decisions about her future. This season’s focus-episodes for the other characters reflect that: Giles is stripped of his role in Helpless, Willow rails against hers in Doppelgangland. This episode is all about Xander coming to terms with his narrative role within Buffy - as the non-powered comedic relief and occasional pep-talker. He could become frustrated with that, throw up his hands and let himself be at the mercy of his narrative function. But this episode allows him to find his own space, his own story. He accepts that he can’t colonise Buffy’s story, but he is still in control of his own decisions, and he can still have his own story. He can create a little one-off episode of Xander the Zombie Fighter that can co-exist peacefully with the episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer happening at the same time. It’s a smaller, quieter story without the same world-shaking melodrama - but that’s OK. As Xander says himself, he likes the quiet.

As viewers, we can never shape the course of the media we watch. That’s part of the appeal - we don’t always know what we want or need - a problem Xander faces himself when he clutches at things like “being cool” or “a car” for things that might make him happy - but a good show gives us what we didn’t realise we needed. But it remains an eternal frustration, that we can connect on a deep emotional level with these characters, but can never help them or solve their problems. A good set of characters can feel like family, but a character can never love you back. When Xander faces up against this same uselessness as he observes an episode of Buffy from afar, it is the same uselessness the viewer feels. When he accepts this and inhabits his own story, it reminds us that we can do the same thing. Television can be a great comfort, but it is not our lives. Because we can affect our own lives. We aren’t in control of them, but we can guide and impact them, and we can each be the hero of our own individual existences.

Appreciation for the 13th Doctor, why I love Jodie Whittaker’s Doctor

This has taken me forever to write, so I hope at least I few people read it. Granted, once I start talking I can’t shut up. I’ve seen an array of hate towards Jodie Whittaker as the Doctor, and I thought it would be nice to write a post on why I personally love her and why she’s my favourite doctor. And no, it’s not because she’s a woman. Though, it was one factor. And for context, I’ve been watching doctor who since I was a child, and my old favourite used to be the tenth doctor, so it’s not because I haven’t seen previous seasons either.

I’ll get this one out the way, the thirteenth doctor is a woman. This is a big deal for me, in a positive way- I’ve always looked up to the Doctor, always wanted to be like him, for years I wanted to cosplay him as well but as a feminine lady I wasn’t comfortable with cosplaying a man. Then Jodie comes along, she’s everything I wanted in a female doctor, I never through in a million years we would ever have a female doctor. When I first watched The Woman Who Fell To Earth, I just started tearing up,

This. This moment. Because in this moment I though, yes. This is the Doctor. And she’s wonderful and brilliant. What I love most, is her personality didn’t change because she’s a woman now, she doesn’t really wear makeup, she still wears a tux, she’s not bothered about the way she looks, it’s just nice to have a female characters who’s so heroic, kind, and intelligent. It just hit differently for me watching her. She doesn’t forget.

Now, one can argue there’s not much continuity and 13 doesn’t mention her past, which I can understand why you would think that but I disagree.

Here, you can see she still remembers her past, and is still hurting from the ones she lost, from Rose, Martha, Donna, the Ponds, Clara, Bill, etc etc. And with the fez reference, and little lines like “Talking about wasps, have I ever told you about me and Agatha Christie?” Or “Half an hour ago I was a white-haired Scotsman!” Keep long term viewers happy, while not completely alienating new fans, as I feel with series 11+ it’s like a blank slate for new viewers to get into the show, which in my opinion is a good idea. 

Another thing I really love about the thirteenth doctor, is how positive and hopeful she is.

I feel like each doctor symbolises different things, and to me I feel like she’s represents hope and positivity. I really love this about her because I have a lot of personal issues where it leads me to feeling a bit down, but when I watch her Doctor I always feel a lot more happier, positive and hopeful, and for me I really appreciate that.

I also really love how witty she is. Now, I know every Doctor is a little bit quirky and funny, but I find 13 one of the best. She’s a little bit childish, excitable, cute. I love the running gag of her forgetting that she’s a woman now, it’s a nice touch that’s unique to her Doctor.

The Doctor’s speeches are always spine chilling. and for 13, it’s no exception. I love how protective she is of Earth and humans, as previous Doctors have been. A lot of people say the writing isn’t all there, I get where you’re coming from but I personally like it, especially moments like:

She’s confident, she’s protective, she’s loving. It’s just something I really love and appreciate with her Doctor. I  feel like she always wants to do the right thing and will always put everyone first before her own safety.

Talking more recently, I like how she interacts with The Master, she’s not trying to reason with him, convince him to travel with her, mend their friendship, she’s just done. She is sick of him at this point,

She’s rolling her eyes, she’s taking no chances. It’s different, as with Ten, he was doing anything he could to convince the Master to see the universe with him. With Twelve, he wanted Missy to stand with him. with Thirteen and the Master, she isn’t interested. She just wants to save humanity.

I also love the family dynamic. I know we’ve had that before with Rose and the Ponds, but having the entire ‘fam’ as she would say, in the TARDIS with her, idk I find it really cosy and nice. A lonely traveller finding a family to show them the universe with is just really nice, and in my opinion a lot better than having one companion where they /usually/ fall for the Doctor.

Finally, I want to talk about Jodie Whittaker’s acting. I’ve been hate for her online saying she can’t act, which I disagree with, have you seen Broadchurch? Anyway, for this, it’s not fair to blame Jodie for what is the writer’s fault. I like series 11 but its undeniable that Jodie doesn’t have many chances to truly shine as an actress. However, I feel like this is changing in series 12, I especially liked her acting when seeing the destroyed Gallifrey, and how angry she looked when listening to the Master admit her did it. With hope, public opinion of her will change after this series.

Right, well, I think I've babbled on for enough about Doctor Who. If you’ve made it this far, I am surprised with your patience! And if you disagree with me, that’s fine of course! We won’t always agree or like the same characters and that’s completely fine, as long as it’s respectful. 

New follower here. I saw your comments on Hal recently, and in general I agree that he's not a very interesting character and Johns fanboyism of him was too his detriment. However there are a few stories I'd like to hear your thoughts on: His plot in New Frontier, The Tom King one Shot from Darkseid War, and the recent Morrison series. The first two I've heard as being the best Hal stories, and the third I've seen generally good things about

hi! thanks for reaching out, i'm flattered that so many people are interested in my opinions!!

i briefly mentioned morrison's run here ("grant morrison wanted to write a pulp-y sci-fi story that played fast and loose with enough continuity gags to draw in longtime readers and took space cop to new extremes") but to elaborate on that, i liked his run in the sense that it was fun, i just don't think it did hal any favours as a character. morrison is generally a writer i don't necessarily vibe with because i feel like too much of his work requires a road map (see: how much arkham asylum: a serious house on serious earth improves with the reading of its script) to be engaged with to its full extent and the story put on page isn't the story that exists in his head, if that makes sense. i enjoyed the blackstars interlude that followed the first season of his gl run but thought the quality went downhill fast with the second season and that the narrative felt generally disjointed, the frequent trips to alternate earths didn't help at all and at times morrison seemed to be nearly stalling rather than telling a story of any value

over all, the fact that the trade for his run comes with the "intergalactic lawman" tagline summarizes the issues with it well enough -- morrison's hal isn't merely a space cop as shorthand for the full extent of what the green lanterns do, he's precisely that to the point that conversations about police brutality are inexplicably brought up & approached with morrison's usual lack of tact. the highlights are invariably whichever issues capitalize on the work of better writers (for example, the hal & ollie teamup done in the style of denny o'neil) or the antimatter issue where that universe's hal & sinestro appear to be in a relationship, though even that doesn't stray far from morrison's usual brand of frankly horrifying lgbt "rep". again, it's not unreadable nor unforgivable but it quite frankly does nothing at all of real note

on to the rest! i like hal in new frontier & don't have much thoughts on it, it's a good book worthy of its acclaim with very good hal characterisation but i feel the jsa was robbed of the story given to the jla. as for tom king's darkseid war one shot, i think it's one of the very first stories to have made me interested in hal and go "hey, this guy's got potential!" so it remains an all time favourite, as much as -- in hindsight -- i wish there had been some acknowledgement of parallax during the whole god of light deal and how hal would've been rightfully terrified of gaining power on that level once again. still, both worth reading!

Prompt #5 Persimmon (Extra Credit)

Picking fruit was not exactly tiring work. It’s not hard on the limbs, it does not ask much of your muscles, and it isn’t going to make you run malms upon malms. What it is, though, is time consuming. Little actions, over and over, in the heat of a summer sun for bells on end will wear anyone down. It does not matter how tall, how wide, how thick or how lithe you are. It will wear you down eventually. The grate of bark on your fingers will become cutting, the weight on the straps will pull down harder on your shoulders, the sensation of sweat trickling down your neck, back and between unmentionables will awaken a chafing you couldn’t imagine. This sun Charlette was reminded of that fact and the nostalgic shine of it would reveal itself to be almost completely untarnished by it. Almost.

“Twelve above, I could drown someone in the sweat collecting in my linens. Are persimmons really worth this much toil? Is old Lodden unwittingly guilty of torture and callous mistreatment of the young? Of child labour? You used to pick his crops when you were young, right Charlette?” Maxim’s whining had been noise in the background, another buzzing pair of wings to join the chorus of summer hatchlings finding their nectar. Hearing her name though, brought it roaring back into her ears sadly. “When I was young, Maxim? You are two twelvemoons older than me.” The Wildwood was leaning against the trunk of a particularly bent tree, lounging really, in the crook formed by the winding body of the old growth. He waved a hand at Charlette, swatting away her words like flies. “Yes, yes. You know what I meant. When you were a child! I bet you were a dhalmel back then already. Is that why Lodden took you on? Could you reach all the way to the top even in your tenth season?” Charlette tossed an over-ripe persimmon at him, it missed, hit the tree and squirted its fermented juices far enough to stain a sleeve. Maxim was quick to escape his perch, holding the drenched fabric from his arm and scowling at the stink now stuck to him. “Aww! C’mon! That’s going to stain! Not that it matters, but it smells too! And I was not even wrong, was I!” but Charlette had returned to her picking, not even paying him the slightest bit of attention. Well, not obviously. Fat, heavy, ripe Persimmons were being dropped into the woven baskets that sat at the base of each tree. Baskets that would be hauled back by chocobo cart once they reached this section. The fuller the collection, the more pride Charlette felt. It was simple work, and she felt drenched to the hind quarters, weary with the repetition, but just so simply satisfied with a visible measure of progress. It was so good, beholding the burgeoning baskets, for the moment it was allowed before Maxim whipped his sleeve against Charlette’s cheek. “Ack! Maxim!” “I’m sharing.” “It stinks! Oh- hurrk!” Charlette gagged, a hand shooting up to wipe the sticky leavings away. But nothing will remove that smell from the inside of her nose, nothing but time and retching. “Oh don’t be so dramatic. You’ve smelled worse in the green houses, hells you’ve probably tasted worse too! How does it compare to mite ichor?” The reminder of that only made her turn away, the dirty look she was shooting ruined by the sudden flex of her throat and loud “Guurh!” that escaped her. His reminder of that foul taste, and texture, only made the entire moment that much harder to handle. “Shut up! You deserved that.” “I don’t think so. I think you deserved that. To wear my new scent, ‘Essence of Orchid Garbage’. I think it’ll be big in Ishgard.” He struck a pose, hip cocked out, hand on waist, the other holding his stained sleeve out with a pinky raised. He looked cultured, in a stupid kind of way. She hated that it made her laugh, partly because she gagged in the middle and tasted acid in her mouth. Maxim took a deep sniff of his new cologne, noise raising up in such a lordly manner you’d think he was King of the Gabage Grove, and joined Charlette in her tortured choking. “Woof! Oh dear, huurp! That’s a stench! Hah!” His enjoyment of the process, though, irritated her. She was  leaning on fence post and trying to pull in deep breaths of fresh, summer air when a voice called out. “Still can’t handle it, can she?” Charlette had not heard that tone in so long. The comforting pitch, the annoying confidence, the cocksure suggestion that it belonged to someone who just knew her, and knew what had happened to her. “Nope!” Maxim responded with far too much glee, the shit. “But she did ask for it, so don’t feel bad, or try to help. It’s not how penance is supposed to work. Instead, tell me how you’ve been Chloe.” Charlette’s sister was a few ilms shorter in height, white in hair, several shades darker in skin, and inhabited all the self-assured confidence someone needed to both be incredibly likable, and hateable, at the same time. Maxim had already draped his arm around her, Chloe equipped in her best picking overalls, which is to say she wore the same blue, worn, badly-fitting but sturdy kind that Charlette and Maxim did. Borrowed from Lodden, and smelling of one thing: farm. “Penance? Oh good, I’m glad the eldest still gets to spend time doing her favourite thing.” Charlette looked to Chloe, and made a hand-gesture that made Maxim gasp, and Chloe smile. It was very out of character. “I thought you weren’t going to make it this season. Weren’t you in Limsa? Or Doma?” She stepped to them and drew herself to full height, Charlette let the two shorter Elezen look up to her. No need for sharp words when she literally always had the high ground. “Yes! And I made a special effort to come through this season. I’d heard you were back home, and I missed you so very much I just had to come and see you again.” Maxim’s face turned between the two, his mouth drawn tight and remaining shut, a rarity for the man. “Mmhm. Well if you are done lying, we were about to start on the next tree. Come along.” and Charlette turned in a sweep, her nose held high in the air, long and determined steps carrying her away from the two. “She’s happy to see me.” Chloe said as she followed from behind. “That so? Did I just witness a pair of Bellamy’s hugging? Y’know, if I think about it, that makes sense. It’s very polite, cold enough to ice tea, and no one would have any idea it’d happened unless told.” A very fake scoff had left Chloe as she pantomimed offense. In all the years Charlette had known her sister, she knew she was incapable of two things: Shame, and seriousness. “How dare you! What you describe is far more intimate than a hug, to suggest my dear sister and I would embrace in such a way in public is positively scandalous.” Charlette glared back over her shoulder at the pair, but they couldn’t see it. Chloe and Maxim had started up a series of bows to each other. Maxim with one hand behind his back and bending low at the waist as far as he could while they walked. “My deepest apologies Lady Bellamy!” Chloe gripped the baggy edges of her overalls and pulled them out in a shallow curtsey. “Fret not Ser Flowerman, all is forgiven for such a gentleman of culture!” Maxim’s chuckle was loud, hearty, his smooth tone a little bit of a liar in its suggestion that he’s a smooth man. “Ser Flowerman, that’s going on my headstone when I pop off this mortal coil.” “You’re very welcome. It suits you.” They couldn’t reach that next tree soon enough. Charlette picked her harvest in silence while the other two continued to cajole each other into further impressions and comedic takes on, well, just about everything. It was very distracting, Charlette thought. But it was also very nice, as it reminded her of a similar time, out here in this old orchid. The three of them younger, nevermind what Maxim thinks. Only it was not with Maxim. No, back then it was Frederick who was helping distract Chloe and the others. Who was her sister’s companion in gently teasing her, or tossing the fallen, rotted persimmons at the others. He always managed to get poor Alistair on the back of the head, knew just when Brianne had him distracted enough to… “Charlette? Yoohoo, you there?” a charcoal-skinned hand waved in front of Charlette’s face, the sudden silence that had been lost on her came back. Maxim had stepped away, or perhaps been sent away? Why? Charlette looked down at Chloe’s face, which was suddenly serious. What a surprise. “I thought you couldn’t do that.” She asked. “Do what?” Chloe looked confused, perhaps even worried. How dare she. “Nothing. Did you need something?” “I asked if you are okay. You didn’t say anything, you were off with your books again I think. Dreaming of the library?” just a little curl of her lips came out. Hah! See, not a serious bone in Chloe’s body. Charlette looked at her little sister, perhaps staring for a bit too long. Then reached out, pulled her into a gentle hug that Chloe returned as easily as slipping into fresh sheets on a newly made bed. “No. No I’m not okay.” And just then, for the first time since Charlette had been pulled back home, it felt okay to be that way. Goodness, picking fruit was tiring work.

Everybody Loves Jonathan

[This is my contribution to Day 1 of @jancyweek2020. The theme is Family, so I’ve shown Jonathan getting to know the Wheelers as Nancy’s boyfriend. It’s set just after season 2. It’s shameless cutesy fluff, and I hope you enjoy it!]

Mike (November 1984)

Nancy had asked Jonathan to pick her up for school at 8.15. ‘Just wait in the car and I’ll come outside. If you come in we’ll get sucked into a vortex of a million question from my mom, and I’d prefer to make a clean getaway.’

He was doing what she’d asked, but he still felt like he was being kind of rude and weird, loitering outside of a girl’s house. Especially since he’d arrived twenty minutes early. He sat there, trying to read One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest but instead just scanning the same paragraph over and over without absorbing it and repeatedly glancing at the Wheeler house for signs of life.

Finally, at 8.04, the front door opened, and he felt all the tension drain out of his body. It was instantly replaced by confusion, however, when he saw Mike emerge from the house and come running towards his car.

‘Jonathan! Hey, Jonathan!’ the middle schooler yelled, wrenching open the door and throwing himself into the backseat. ‘How’s Will? Is he okay? When’s he coming back to school?’

Jonathan smiled. He was so glad that his little brother had someone who cared about him this much. ‘He’s doing a lot better, but I think Mom’s gonna keep him at home for a few more days.’

Mike grinned. ‘Awesome. That he’s better, I mean. It sucks that he has to stay home.’ Then he leaned back in his seat and looked at the older boy, suddenly serious. ‘So are you, like, Nancy’s boyfriend now?’

Jonathan felt himself start to blush (he hated when that happened). ‘Um…yeah, I guess? I think so. Has she said anything about it?’

‘She refuses to answer any questions,’ said Mike. ‘It’s cool if you are, though. She always seems happier when you’re around.’ He shrugged. ‘So are you dating or what?’

Before Jonathan could answer, the passenger door opened.

‘Hey, you’re early!’ said Nancy. She leaned over and kissed him. It was just a peck on the lips, but Mike started to make gagging noises as though they were full-on making out in front of him.

‘Ugh, why are you guys so gross?’

*

Karen (November 1984)

Nancy checked her reflection in the bedroom mirror for the twentieth time. Should she change her earrings? The hoops had seemed like a good idea, but her curls just kept getting tangled in them. She decided to switch them for tiny gold studs. The rest of the outfit was okay – navy tights, denim skirt, the peach argyle sweater that Jonathan had said he liked. She knew it was silly to be nervous about their first ‘real date’, given that they’d been together for three weeks now (and given everything they’d been through before that), but she couldn’t help but be a little anxious.

And the fact that he was late was only making her more nervous. It wasn’t like him, he was usually either early or exactly on time. Frowning, Nancy grabbed her jacket and purse and decided to wait downstairs … where she found her boyfriend in the Wheeler family kitchen, helping her mother unpack groceries.

‘The tuna fish goes on the third shelf down, and the spaghetti has its own special Tupperware, on the top shelf,’ Karen directed. ‘Oh, hi Nancy!’ she said when she noticed her daughter. ‘Jonathan pulled up just as I was unloading the car, and very kindly offered to give me a hand with all this.’

Of course he did, thought Nancy with a smile.

‘What are you two up to tonight?’ her mother asked.

‘We’re seeing a movie at the Hawk. Actually, it starts pretty soon, so we should probably get going,’ Nancy said, taking Jonathan’s hand and starting to pull him out of the kitchen.

‘Okay, have fun! Make sure you’re home by midnight,’ said her mom.

‘Isn’t your curfew usually 11?’ Jonathan murmured once they were out of earshot.

‘I guess you doing grocery duty gets us an extra hour,’ said Nancy, grinning.

*

Holly (December 1984)

It didn’t take long for Jonathan to become a fixture at the Wheeler house. He’d bring Nancy home from school and stay to study with her. He’d come over for Sunday lunch and weeknight dinners. He’d arrive an hour early to pick up Will from D & D, and spend the time sampling whatever Karen’s latest baked creation was. And wherever he went, he had a shadow: Holly.

The youngest Wheeler seemed to think that Jonathan was actually there to visit her, and therefore it was her job to entertain him. So she’d show him her latest drawings, and make him play dolls with her, and insist that he watch her favourite cartoons. And Jonathan always played along, engaging with the pre-schooler on her level in a way that Nancy found ridiculously adorable. But after a while, it started to grate. She just wanted to spend time with her boyfriend, and it was deeply weird to have to compete with her baby sister for his attention.

Which was why Alan Stavinsky’s retirement dinner seemed like such a great opportunity. He had been her dad’s boss at the insurance company for nearly twenty years, so her parents wouldn’t dream of missing it, even though it was being held all the way in the city and was bound to be a late night. So they’d need Nancy to babysit – she could invite Jonathan over, and once Holly went to bed they would have some privacy.

But Holly just refused to go to sleep. There was yelling, and tears (from both Wheeler sisters). Eventually, the younger girl was persuaded to put on her pyjamas and get into bed. Three bedtime stories later, she reluctantly agreed it was time for lights out.

‘At last!’ said Nancy, snuggling into Jonathan’s side on the couch. ‘I thought she’d never leave us alone. Now, how should we spend the rest of the night?’

‘Do you have any more Berenstain Bears books? I’m pretty hooked,’ Jonathan deadpanned.

‘I have a better idea,’ said Nancy. ‘How about we—’

‘I can’t sleep!’ a small voice announced from the doorway of the living room. ‘Jonathan, play Hungry Hippos with me!’

Nancy managed to stifle a groan of frustration as her boyfriend turned away from her and towards the little girl.

‘I think Hungry, Hungry Hippos might be a little too exciting for after bedtime,’ he said. ‘Let’s make a deal. Do you promise to go back to bed and stay there if we watch ten minutes of one of your Strawberry Shortcake videos?’

‘The Christmas one?’ she asked.

‘Sure.’

‘Okay!’ Holly bounced over to the couch and squeezed in between Nancy and Jonathan.

Nancy dutifully put on the video and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water, hoping to miss as much of the nauseatingly sweet cartoon as she could. When she returned a few minutes later, her little sister had finally fallen asleep – and so had Jonathan.

Sighing, Nancy switched off the TV and settled into the La-Z-Boy with one of her mom’s Cosmopolitan magazines. So much for a perfect night with her boyfriend.

*

Ted (January 1985)

It was the last day of winter break. Jonathan and Nancy had spent the afternoon hanging out at her house, doing nothing much at all.

‘Are you sure you don’t want to stay for dinner?’ Nancy asked as they said goodbye at the front door.

‘I’m sure,’ he said, leaning in for a quick kiss. ‘I told Will I��d help him with some art project tonight. Besides, your family is probably sick of having me around.’

‘Not at all! They love you,’ Nancy protested.

Just then, Ted Wheeler walked by, the newspaper under his arm and his evening scotch in hand. ‘Good night, Steven,’ he said, nodding at Jonathan.

‘Um…Good night, sir,’ said Jonathan. Nancy buried her face in his shoulder, trying to contain her laughter until her dad left the room.

‘Okay, so most of them love you,’ she said. ‘Me especially.’

Jonathan paused at that, and raised one eyebrow in an unspoken question. Really? He didn’t have to ask; it was clear from her fixed gaze on him that she meant it.

‘I love you too,’ he said.

Survey #422

“i will not become a figure of my mistakes  /  i will not become the mask that is not my face”

Have you ever been told you were a good writer? I've been told that's one of my "gifts." What do you put on your baked potatoes? Butter, American cheese, and bacon bits. Gooood shit. What are you listening to? I'm re-watching Gab Smolders play Parasite Eve. Love that game to bits, and I really enjoy how she has a legitimate appreciation for it despite its age. It's so great watching her fall in love with a game she knew nothing about. Did you ever have braces? Yes. Are you afraid of flying? I acknowledge the risks of it, but I don't really actively fear it. Are you short? No; I'm your average height for an American woman of my age. Have you ever used a fire extinguisher? No. Would you want your future children to date someone like you as a teenager? I was a fine teenager, so sure. Are you unhappy at the moment? That's quite the understatement. When’s the last time you got in trouble with your parents? *shrug* How many children do you want? None. It's funny though, I had a dream last night that I gave birth to a daughter I of course named Alessandra. Have you ever watched Keeping Up With The Kardashians? No. Do you have any career ideas in mind? I have no desire to talk about this right now. Do you have any gay friends? Yeah. Are you gay yourself? I'm bi. Are you doing anything this weekend? Of course I'm not. But that's a surprise to nobody. How many brothers do you have? One. Do you like Mexican food? Only very few things. What’s your best friend’s pet’s name(s)? Oh man. Some are family pets more than hers, but regardless, there's Buster, Beasley, Winter, Martha, Crowley, Little Dot, Jane Marie, Doris, Raisha, and a bunch of other fish. Did you go to work today? I don’t have a job. .-. How old are you? How old do you act? 25. I think mentally I'm capable of acting older, but as far as "being an adult" goes, taking care of mature responsibilities, I'm a child. What size shoe do you wear? I... haven't worn anything but flipflops in so long that I barely know. I want to say an 8? 7 1/2 depending on the shoe? Are there any spiders in your room right now? I dunno. What was your favorite class during your sophomore year of high school? Art, for sure. Who’s your favorite Disney character? Probably Dory. Are there any framed pictures of you in your house? With my sisters, yes. Do you wear bandanas in your hair? No. Have you ever been on a blind date? No, not interested. Do you need to shave? My legs look like a gorilla's. My armpits, slightly. I shave them every time I shower, so I'll shave them soon. Are you wearing makeup right now? No. I never do nowadays. Do you know anyone named Laura? Not off the top of my head. Do you have any exercise equipment in your home? A few things. How many living grandparents do you still have? None. What are your plans for the rest of the day? Nothing, really. I hope I read today, though. I haven't the past couple days and I refuse to totally lose my habit of it again. How many times have you been sick this year? None. What colour is your toothbrush? White. Do you have a favourite author? No. How long do you usually take in the shower? Barely even 10 minutes. I do nooot understand how some people take so long. Clean yourself, get out. Like I get it if you're shaving or doing "extra" stuff besides washing your hair and body, but generally, how???? Have you ever worked in an office? No, but as I prepare to job search again, that's what I'm aiming for, I guess. It sounds like something I (including my legs, given I'd be sitting) could possibly handle. But yeah, you need experience in absolutely everything nowadays to get any job, it seems. Have you ever stayed in a hotel without your parents or older relatives? Yes. Have you ever kissed anyone under the mistletoe? I actually don't think I have. What’s your go-to activity when you’re bored? Watch YouTube. Who was the last person you texted? The lady who works in my psychiatrist's office to verify my next appointment date. Do you see yourself married in the next five years? Probably not, really. How long does it take you to get ready to go out? Barely over five minutes, or less, depending on what I have to do. Do you own any clothes you wouldn’t wear in front of your mother? No. Have you changed much this year? I haven't changed at all. And that's not a good thing. Is there a girl that you truly hate? A corner of my mind says yes. Even though I have no right to. Do you have any candles in your room? No, but I do have a wax warmer. Have you ever had to dial 911 before? A couple times for Mom. What’s something in your past that you’ll always remember? I'm almost certain even dementia couldn't take away my memory of the breakup. Did you have a good birthday this year? Yeah, it was good. How many people have told you they were in love with you? Two. Do you find smoking unattractive? Yes. How slowly or quickly would you say you eat? I eat way too fast, but I literally can't figure out how to change it. I try to slow down, but it just... doesn't stick. It's so engrained in me as a habit. Do you remember how you felt on 9/11? I was too young to remember this. What do you think of people who always wear make-up? You go for it, you look great. What’s a smell that absolutely makes you gag? Severely decaying roadkill is very high on the list. Is there a smell that gives you headaches? Gasoline. What about one that reminds you of the past? Play-Doh, for one. Childhood things like that. Also like those really fruity lip glosses, etc. What’s your least favorite thing about summer? The fucking heat and humidity. What’s your least favorite thing about the holiday season? The knowledge I don't have the money to buy like anyone presents. Especially my niece and nephew. Mom helps me buy something for them, but still... I feel like such a bad aunt that I can't do it myself. Other than yourself, who knows you the best? Whoever reads these, probably, ha ha. Do you have any embarrassing qualities and, if so, what are they? I'm just awkward in general. What’s one complaint that you have about school? Common Core. It's awful. What do you do while you’re on campus but not in class? I would just go to the library and do stuff on my laptop. Do you know anyone who has Autism/Asperger’s syndrome? Yes. It's questionable that I myself may have high-functioning autism. Has anyone of the same sex ever hit on you? Yeah. Are you open to a same-sex relationship and why or why not? Yes, because I'm bisexual. Have you ever dressed like or worn clothing belonging to the opposite sex? I would wear Jason's pj pants sometimes. Have you ever found yourself to be ugly? I've always believed I'm ugly. Have you read the Twilight series and do you like it or dislike it? I never read the series or watched the movies. Have you been on any type of online messengers today? I've used Discord to message Sara. What is your state’s minimum wage? $7.25 an hour. Disgusting. Do you own a tablet of any kind? No. If you eat eggs, how do you eat them? I only enjoy scrambled eggs or omelettes. When you’re upset, do you vent to people or do you keep to yourself? Nowadays, I tend to keep it to myself or vent through surveys. Have you ever watched a meteor shower? No, but I would love to. Do you like Slim Jims? OH MY GOD YESSSSSSSSSS. I want one now. What’s your opinion on the color turquoise? I think it's very pretty. Have you ever been in a castle? Only the Disney World one. When you were little, did you ever play with Play-Doh? Of course! I loved doing that. Would you rather write a mystery or love story? Hm... probably a love story. Are you afraid of getting shots? Kind of. I just hate the feeling of the medicine being injected, and long needles puncturing skin makes me want to squirm a bit. Needles in general though, I'm not afraid of. Would you ever run away and get married with no notifications to your family? Uh, no. I'm close with my immediate family and would want them to know. Have you ever wanted to vlog? Noooo. My life is so very boring, not to mention I would feel WAY too awkward. Who was the last person who unexpectedly texted you? No one unexpectedly texts me. Have you ever voluntarily read the Bible? Some of it. Have you ever thought that your life was so bad you wanted to give up? Many times. Do thunder & storms scare you? Actually, since I started having recurring tornado nightmares, I started to sort of fear them again. What are two foods you think only taste good with whipped cream? I hate whipped cream. If you eat it, what is your favorite way to eat beef? Cheeseburgers. Are you insecure about your height? What made you think this way? No. Did your last significant other have a huge temper? No. Would you ever think about doing porn? NOOOOOOOOO, even if I was in good shape. Would you ever cheat on someone if they cheated on you? No. That's not going to fix anything. Do you like getting jewelry or do you not wear any? I don't mind it, but I don't really wear it. When you were in high school did you ever have bomb threats? Once or twice. He was a... troubled kid. Did/Do you get school cancellations because of snow? Oh yes. My area flips shit if there's even a risk of like an inch of snow. Who knows ALL of your secrets? Nobody. Do you eat dinner with your family every night? No. Have you ever thought about what it would be like to have a baby right now? No, not really. That would be fucking awful. There's no way I'd be able to raise it. Have you used Limewire before? Back in the day. Are you/Were you in a band? If so, what was your band name? No. Have you ever tried cocaine or heroin? No thanks. Do you own any shirts with a peace symbol on it? No. I'd wear one, though. Have you ever dyed your hair light auburn? No. Ever had ice cream dots? Dippin' Dots? Yes. Do you have your national flag hanging up anywhere outside your house? No. Would you ever go to Japan? I'd like to. Have you ever been in a choir? When I was a kid in Catholic school, yes. What did you eat for breakfast today? Honey Nut Cheerios. When is the next time you’ll be up on stage? Preferably never.

Heather Watches Stargate SG1: Upgrades

I have some rare time off and deicded I would like to spend it writing another post because its been a long time and I love this show and it’ll help me be less stressed about life and work!  We all love Upgrades so I thought this could be a fun one to do today! I also just love how much you guys enjoy these posts so thank you for being wonderful  As always, I’ll almost defienitly swear so consider yourself warned. 

Nice shot of the gate

SAM’S HAIR

SHE’S SO CUTE

Tok’ra are starting to annoy Jack and honestly same

“Don’t get me wrong Carter, your dads great, love him like a brother”

What about a father in law???

just a thought

Boys stop gagging over a pretty girl

Ew Daniel thats so gross

“Looks like trouble to me” ew

Sam’s fucking face

She’s so C U T E

Daniel stop flirting with every woman you meet

Anise annoys me tbh

Sorry not sorry

No shit Daniel

Jack is judging SO HARD

I’m actually a fan of the caterpillar on Teal’c’s face. 

I genuienly don’t hate it

Of course it doesn’t work on the Tok’ra. 

Why would anything 

Wow Anise you seem awfully suspicious with how desparate you are to get those bands on our space babies...

Sorry Sam is so beautiful 

like SO BEAUTIFUL

CREDITS

They’re so boring this season no offence 

END CREDITS

JANET

she looks so fucking good omg 

her HAIR

Anise go HOME you’re so ANNOYING 

Jack’s neck I-

Jack and Teal’c fighting is cute

I love their friendship

aw poor Teal’c

he’s out cold 

Jacks hair is messy and cute

Janet is not impressed at all

“I’m sorry”

“no you are not”

“You’re right about that!

fucking Jack making a comment about his strength and Janet’s face I love them

Jack reading super fast and Daniel not being able too is hilarioius to me

Mostly because I dislike Daniel

Lol “want me to read it to you?”

Sam sitting in the dark

Janet visiting her with her messy hair and looking so cute and wonderful

I love her

lemme protect her

she’ll need it

Sam, I don’t trust Anise

Jack chil you’re gonna break the machine 

that fucking beanie

i hate it

Jack broke the ball

I’m quiet during this scene because I Do Not Care TM about Daniel and Anise

Janet looks so annoyed 

and I don’t blame her

I agree with Janet

take them off

ah but they can’t 

janet and hammond are ready to slap anise and I’m HERE FOR IT

Jack might not be concerned Teal’c, but I am

jack what did that punching bag ever do to you, you dork

SAm is WRITING  a BOOK with her new found power I hate her

Sam and Janet are beautiful 

and their friendship could have been beautiful

if TPTB knew how to write decent women

“its just so damn exciting sir” I love him

poor Siler omg

why is it always him

can’t he catch a break

aw they’re all locked up

Steak. 

THEY’RE BREAKING OUT

FUCK SHE LOOKS GOOD

LIKE SO GOOD

AND THEY’RE BOTH WEARING LEATHER JACKETS 

THEY LOOK SO GOOOD

FRENCH FRIES INSTEAD OF POTATOES 

I LIKE THE TASTE BETTER 

SAM STOP 

YOU’RE TOO MUCH

MY TINY COLD HEART CANNOT TAKE IT 

defying a direct order but who cares

Jack there is a large, huge MASSIVE difference between steak and earth

the story about that shot with the pool is always funny to me 

JACK LOOKS GOOD

SO GOOD 

WITH HIS HANDS IN HIS POCKETS AND THE LEATHER AND THE GREY AND I-

he is a geek

Daniel don’t do it

oh he did it

Sam’s even telling him not to do it

bloody hell 

can we have a chat about how hot Jack and Sam are? 

Not make them stupid lol 

they were already stupid, Hammond 

they’re space babies

they’re looking so sory for themselves 

no you can’t Daniel

VERY HUNGRY SIR

more of a scuffle sir

ACTUALLY IT WAS YOUR IDEA... SIR

the fucking sass

the FUCKING S A S S 

ugh

UGH 

I AM SO SICK OF ANISE 

bitch  you brought those arm bands there so they could do stuff for you

the Tok’ra are always out for themselves and no one else

they barely do anything to help the taur’i and it pisses me off

Sam looks so cute

Hammond, every mission is a suicide mission 

sam is SO CUTE

HER HAND-

SORRY 

SHE’S REALLY HOT 

AND ADORABLE

I WANNA PROTECT HER

Thta was a lot of science talk 

aww the little hat 

so CUTE

look at em go

kicking jaffa butt

speeding around the place

HER HAIR 

I CANNOT STAND HER

SHE’S SO CUTE

wow thats a big ship

arm band is no longer working 

surprise surprise it happens in the middle of an important mission 

oh Hammond is MAD MAD 

Anise and you can bugger off

Janet’s face is like “did this bitch really just say what I think she just said”

NO SAM

JACK NO

OH BOY 

OOOOOOHHHH BOOOOOYYYYY

FAM I HATE THEM AND I LOVE THEM

THIS IS HONESTLY HEART BREAKING 

BECAUSE THEY OLY NOW REALISE HOW IN LOVE THEY ARE 

FUCK OFF

I LOVE THEM AND I HATE THEM 

BUT I LOVE THEM MORE 

i got a new computer today and the SOUND QUALITY IS SO MUCH BETTER

Aw Sam woke up first 

lol he wakes up funny 

he’s gonna do anything he can to help her

“you gotta get out of here sir”

“so do you” 

STOP IT YOU LOVE STRUCK NERDS

RUN BABIES RUN 

GET YO ASES OUT OF THERE

Look at that little jump over the rock

they’re in soooo much trouble

the fact these space babies didn’t get court marshalled a mllion times still shocks me 

ouch

that had to hurt

nice camera work

I AM VERY WELL GENERAL HAMMOND

lol 

i fuking love Teal’c 

what a sweetheart

i love him

could be a little less sarcastic to the Tok’ra Jack

I hate them as much as you do but no need to make things worse for yoruself 

this is why they never help you 

cause you are sassy to them

Final Thoughts: 

I love this episode

I love the silly space babies

I love Sam and Jack’s outfits when they go for steak

I love Sam’s hair

A lot

I love Sam in red

its a good colour for her

I genuienly hate the Tok’ra 

they’re useless

Jacob is ok

Martouf is mostly ok

the rest kinda suck tbh

Janet Deserved Better

all in all its a fun episode and I love it and it gives me the giggles which is what we all need right now

So tell me, beautiful people, what is our favourite moment from Upgrades? Lemme know and thanks for reading!