So I learned two things this weekend:

One, when you use an industrial slicer to thin-slice beef that cooked in a Malort-based broth, the demon Meaty Wormwood returns to torment you. Literally the beef was fine until I started slicing it and then The Odor arrived.

Two, when you add enough hawaj to a beef jus to counterbalance the Malort in it, the turmeric in the hawaj turns the fat in the jus neon green. It's hard to see in the image but basically you get a deep gold-brown jus with bright green edges. It should make for interesting-looking sandwiches...

I will say, every time I look at the deli slicer I bought I think "Was this really necessary? It doesn't slice as thin as a good ceramic knife and it still takes significant physical effort" and then I slice the beef with it and it takes 10 minutes instead of several hours, and I go "Oh yeah, worth the $70."

[ID: Two images; on the left, a large tupperware container full of thinly-sliced beef, looking delicious with marbled fat and browned edges. On the right, a small dish of liquid, the jus from the beef, shows a layer of deep brown richer gravy, edged in a thin layer of yellow-green oil.]

It's almost like they're advertising!! Mmm...

Rise and shine, cousin, it's time to wake up and smell the beef— after making awesome designs every day for over ten years, we here at the Yetee have decided its time to hang up the t-shirts and put on an apron. We're getting back to our Chicago roots and reopening that old Italian beef stand left to us by our long estranged uncle that we were always destined to run...

Introducing The Chefee! Get in line early andand get in line fast, because these sandwiches are already flying off the shelves! While you wait, why not grab some merch to commemorate your visit to the famous Wet Beef of the Windy City? We've got replicas of the exact same aprons our world-famous chefs use in the kitchen, pins that let everyone know the correct way to eat a hot dog, commemorative jars of Sweet Roy's Bucket o' Giardiniera (BYOG, of course) and one more surprise— the debut of The Yetee's Deep Dish Drink, the energizing beverage brewed right in Chicago's scenic Rat Hole and full of more juice than the L train at rush hour.

We're still staying true to our Yetee origins and these items are only going to be available for 24 hours before we debut our next set of thinly sliced artist-made meats and sauces. Head on over to The Chefee now and get ready to say YES CHEF to a hearty beef sandwich!

Oh and a little inside tip for the professionals, when you're ordering your lunch, remember to ask for it Animal Style to add a little extra crunch to your order. Trust us, cousin. ;)

Come check us out at The Chefee!

Tonight’s Special

Chicago style hot dog 🌭 and Italian beef sandwich 🥪, both inspired by my recent trip to the Windy City!

Congratulations you pale-eyed bastard, you've compelled me to watch a show about a kitchen full of difficult assholes, two things I hate. (But this weekend, because I got work deadlines this week.)

Now what are your usual orders? I don't love Italian beef, but I prefer it dry (no added jus-style gravy) with giardiniera (a hot pepper mix/relish). I love a Chicago dog (preferably a char dog) always with sport peppers. Fuck mushy fries.

At Red Sauce America, I wrote a history of Chicago's iconic Italian beef

how's the beef

Anon, I won't lie to you, it has been a wild couple of days since I put the Malort Beef in the fridge to rest on Sunday night. There have been signs and portents. Spirits are in the air. Shit is happening. *hand gestures*

All of which is to say I haven't yet had time to get out the deli slicer so I can slice the Portillö meat properly, but I did get the beef and the jus out of the fridge, slice off enough for a sample sandwich, and tinker with the jus. I will have photos and commentary posted this evening, so keep your eyes peeled!

(Possibly everyone thinks I'm joking about omens and spirits and such but honestly some weird shit is going down. More on this later once I've figured out what exactly it all means.)

Mom's Italian Beef Barley Soup Recipe

This simple soup is made in a slow cooker with water, beef bouillon, barley, onion, and tomato sauce.

Grandma Maul's Italian Beef Seasoned with garlic, anise, and sesame seeds, chuck roast is slowly simmered in a crock pot for a delicious Italian Beef. 1 cup water, 1 tablespoon anise seed, 2 tablespoons olive oil, 1 tablespoon sesame seed, salt and ground black pepper to taste, 1/2 cup all-purpose flour, 1 boneless beef chuck roast, 2 cloves garlic minced, 1 large green bell pepper julienned

Recipe for Italian Beef Sandwiches In the oven, tender Italian beef is slowly roasted with Italian seasonings. Serve a flavorful sandwich on stale Italian bread.

Mom's Italian Beef Barley Soup This simple soup is made in a slow cooker with water, beef bouillon, barley, onion, and tomato sauce.

Bildad's battle cry in the italian dubbing always cracks me up...

In english he's like: "Woah woah woah there!" but in italian he's like "WOOOOOO OHOOH-WOWODBOLOBOWAWAWA".