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eveningstar1516 · 3 years

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JUST WHAT IS IT YOU'RE SO AFRAID OF!?

Warnings: Lucifer Get's Angry, Yelling, There is one Kiss, Intimidation attempted but Star is too stubborn. Type: Angst, Hurt/Comfort Ikr, I never write these Word Count: 1,021 Pairing: Lucifer x OC

“Just what is it that you’re so afraid of!?”

Star had had enough. While her relationship with Lucifer had gotten off to a good start, he’d been avoiding her recently. That’s fine, everyone needs their space, so she gave him it. Eventually though, she grew worried and had tried multiple times to get her lover to talk to her to no success. She had finally had enough of Lucifer’s cowering and snapped at him. Glairing the demon down, she stood with a hand on her hip expecting an answer. What she wasn’t expecting was for Lucifer's eyes to go dark as he also lost his patience and snapped back.

“Hurting you!” His tone full of rage and hurt as he stalked closer towards her.

“You’re not a demon. You don’t know what it’s like to be one. Not even the lesser that merged with you would be able to give you a clear understanding. I’m not human Star! I’m a monster! One that doesn’t want to see you get hurt. One that wants you so bad but I can’t have you because I’m afraid I’d kill you! Do you not understand!? I’m a danger to you!”

Star’s eyes widened in fear. Lucifer had backed her into a corner. His demon form emerging, except it didn’t stop at the usual horn, diamond and wings. It kept going. The diamond, what was once a singular black jewel on his forehead became 5 creating a star pattern on his forehead. His wings extended further. A peacock's eye on each of them. His horns extended further. His claws sharpened as feathers peaked out from under his attire. His sclera darkened to a deep black. A tail had grown. A peacock pattern at the end. Lucifer’s wrath and transformation had triggered her own. Star’s demonic instincts screamed at her to bow her head in submission for angering the demon of pride, but she fought them away. Her tail had wrapped itself around her waist and her wings folded as close to her body as possible. He was grabbing onto her by now. His claws poked through her outer jacket and shirt. Threatening to pierce her skin.

Lucifer didn’t let up from his hold until he saw his reflection in Star’s scared eyes. He backed away immediately. His own eyes widened in horror. He had come so close to doing the one thing he was afraid of. Star was hugging herself as she looked upon Lucifer in concern. “Lucifer?” Her voice was just above that of a whisper. True to her nature, she didn’t care for her own hurt more than the hurt of the demon in front of her.

Lucifer turned his back to her. Breathing to try and will this form away. To get his wrath under control to no success. Star stepped forward and reached out to touch his shoulder. He jerked away at the contact. He never liked his true form. It was too much of a monstrous one and only came out when he couldn’t control it. He prided himself on his control, so to have it emerge just adds to the blow to his pride. “Are you satisfied now? You’ve seen me at my weakest without control. Is that what you wanted?” He willed his voice not to shake. He needed her out before he lashes out and hurts her more than he already has.

“Lucifer I-” “OUT!” Turning around to face her, he pointed to the door as his wings puffed out behind him. A show of power and status. His aura growing heavy around them both. When Star didn’t move, he broke and begged. “Please… Please just go. You shouldn’t see me like this. I-” His voice broke as he stuttered. He was close to breaking and losing his composure but he so desperately feared hurting her.

He didn’t have long to think about it though. Before he realized it, he felt a strong pair of arms wrap around him. Star had rushed forward and embraced him as tight as she could. Her tail wrapping around Lucifer’s waist as her smaller wings tried to wrap themselves around him as well. A sense of Déjà Vu washed over Lucifer as he froze. Memories of the catacombs rushed back, when she had done the exact same thing when he was angry. Stars hold tightened around him and he broke. His knees weakened as she held them both up as he bowed his head to her shoulder, mindful of his horns. Tears stained Star’s jacket as Lucifer let it out. She whispered comforting nothings as she stroked his head. He clutched her clothes tighter at the reassurances and praises. He pulled away from her and stared into her chestnut eyes, so full of love and adoration for the demon in front of her. Raising a hand to cup his cheek, Star leaned until their foreheads were touching one another, ignoring the way his diamonds bit into her skin.

“I love you, Lucifer Morningstar. Nothing you do can change that. Not how you look, not how you hide, not how you love. Nothing will change My Morningstar.” Leaning forward and closing the distance, Star placed a loving kiss against his lips before pulling away and looking over his form properly. Her own demonic form had relaxed. Her tail wrapping itself back around her leg as her wings relaxed and folded in. Reaching up, she ran her fingers through his wings and around his feathers on his body. Lucifer’s wings twitching before relaxing to her touch. So long as she was gentle, he wouldn’t accidentally lash out. She continued exploring his form before returning to his face and tracing the diamonds. Standing on her tiptoes, she planted a light kiss on the center diamond. Lucifer reached up and caressed her cheek, careful and mindful of his claws, but Star didn’t seem bothered.

“What did I do to deserve you?” His voice a whisper as to not break the peaceful atmosphere that had formed around them. Cupping his hand in her own and leaning in, Star let her eyes gaze up at his. “You lived.”

#obey me shall we date #obey me #lucifer obey me #lucifer x mc #luci obey me #drabble #angst #hurt/comfort #obey me mc #omd #I regret nothing and will die by this piece

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aconboyindependent2021 · 3 years

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‘Now and Then’ - current state of play

My film is a re-imagining of the site of Brighton General Hospital next to my home. Until around 70 years ago, a workhouse operated on the site (for details, see: Gardner, J, (2012) A History of the Brighton Workhouses). Aspects of the austere workhouse are still evident on the site today. I began to think about the stories of the residents of the workhouse – what did they have to endure? With this in mind, I bought the above book by a local author about the history of workhouses in Brighton.

I have always been fascinated by the idea that traumatic events in a particular location can be recorded and replayed at a later time in history and that this might be a basis for ghosts and hauntings – for example, in the blockbuster, Poltergeist, and the BBC drama from the 1970’s The Stone Tapes (Sasdy, 1972). This is one of the key concepts behind the film.

After a lot of thought, I settled on the story of the workhouse being told by a single woman, Agatha, whose infant child was taken from her illegally and sold to a rich couple living in Brighton. This is a variation on the common Victorian practice of unmarried women being compelled to give their children to a foundling home.

The film starts with Aggie telling her story in largely neutral terms and comparing the workhouse and the site’s positive use today as a hospital, but it climaxes with Aggie screaming with the loss of her child, and we see that she is a tormented spectre.The film ends with her anguish fading into a sign on the present site, promoting a nursery for infant children.

The film will be around 5-6 minutes long and will consist of edited original footage taken on the site in the present day. The film will be treated with video effects to alter the pacing, colour and atmosphere of the original footage. I have asked for a drama-trained friend to narrate the film as Aggie and will be using original and library sound effects and music motifs, or possibly drones to punctuate the soundtrack.

Now and Then – influences from other artists

1. Brian Percival - About a Girl

Female voice-over revealing a terrifying truth about motherhood at the end of the film. This film gives a cold dead feeling inside from the casual yet downcast demeanor as the leading character talks about her dysfunctional life and especially the ending, where the girl is revealed to have secretly miscarried a baby and we see her dump it into the canal (“I’ve become good at hiding things”). Both my film and About A Girl attempt to humanise the female main character outside of their tragedies.

2. Tobe Hooper - director of Poltergeist Paranormal activity centred around past events and the presence of aggrieved spirits. This was a film that made an impact on me from its non-stop tension, even before the presence of the supernatural becomes apparent. Tobe Hooper, ever since creating The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) has achieved many awards, and after this film, it is easy to see why. It also has a similar plot to my initial idea for my film - where a great wrong done in the past creates a ‘haunting’ by aggrieved spirit(s)..

3. Peter Sasdy – Director of The Stone Tape (1972)

The original idea from the film was stones “recording” traumatic events from the past. While the current draft has drifted away from this concept, it still lives on with how Agatha remembers everything about the past as if she died yesterday, despite the superficial veneer of the current day hospital. However, Agatha is a real soul though in my film.

4. David Lynch - Eraserhead, The Elephant Man His black and white films – particularly The Elephant Man In the latter, view of Victorian England shot in black and white featuring cruelty and time-specific sounds, sights and atmospheres. The film always seems to have a sense of foreboding, even when the scene is uneventful, and with a deeply engaging soundtrack. Eraserhead will always always be an influence due to its deliberate disturbing monochrome style, investigation of altered perception and the anxieties of parenthood.

5. James Gardener- Author of: A Complete History Of Brighton Workhouses A detailed and easy-to-understand book centred around the original workhouse in my area. It includes the Brighton General Hospital Site. It helped give a real-life grounding to my supernatural tale.

6. Richard Boden - director of the Blackadder series 4 finale, Goodbyeee The series as a whole has very little to do with my film, but this is a powerful episode whose fade-out ending and closing-sound inspired the cross-dissolve effects and soundscape in my film - coincidentally both are centered with the cruelty of the past and atmospheric sound. Present and past merge at this point. One of the most popular scenes in TV drama/comedy and understandably so too.

7. Piotr Obal – various films and still images Obal is an independent artist who works with art, music and still photography. Occasionally, he teaches youths how to work at the computer like me (!) when he was helping out with an arts award I was studying for. Below is one of his images that has been an influence on me and the film. I love his Photoshop collages and the wonderful images he posts from his native Poland.

Work by Piotr Obal

8. Nalini Malani- for her immersive installations, ‘disgraced’ women under partiarchy, history and mythology, miscarriages of justice. I found out about Malini when I was writing my essay on her work in the Diversity module: what started off as just finding out about an artist for the sake of my writing became a long-lasting admiration and inspiration from an artist who not only knows where she is coming from (from her upbringing hugely affected by India and Pakistan’s partition) but willingly sticks her neck out for those oppressed by society and history, and confidently shows her creations to the world. A particularly relevant aspect of her work is her use of the supernatural and mythology stories and myths to highlight aspects of women’s oppression throughout history.

9. Chris Butler- director of ParaNorman A key influence, supposedly aimed at children, I used the same of the spectre in this moving animation, and I was influenced by its themes about the cruelties of humanity and how we “moved on”. The spectre is a ghost of a falsely accused of being a ‘witch’ who wreaks her revenge on those who persecuted her.

It was also a strong influence that is more powerful at its climax and twist. In-depth look at how prejudice destroys lives that are never regained - even death provides no relief. Butler is a part of Studio Laika, creating animated films that go beyond the norm.

10. Jacqueline Wilson - the writer of the Hetty Feather trilogy and other such Victorian novels such as Clover Moon.

A part of Jacqueline’s writings is her commentary about how unjust the past could be compared to today: even though her protagonists speak in ways that were customary to Victorians, she keeps them relatable the same way she keeps her modern-day protagonists relatable. The writing style of her books inspired certain characteristics of Agatha’s narration, because it was easy to understand yet engaging.

11. David Lean - Director of Great Expectations (1946) This film, based on the Dickens book, also brought to mind the cruel period of the Victorian era, and the acting and emotions continued that spirit and my inspiration around my project. I love that it is black and white as well as dialog-centred - I particularly like the formal style of speech - even to express negative emotions- for example:

“Let me point out the topic that in London it is not the custom to put the knife in the mouth for fear of accidents. It's scarcely worth mentioning, Only it's as well to do as others do”.

Miss Havisham, an almost ghostly older woman, in a similar way to Agatha cannot move beyond the terrible wrong done to her - she was left at the alter and devoted her life to training her adopted daughter, Estella, to get revenge on men.I use s similar obsessive, sing-minded hatred to motivate Agatha.

12. Sunset Boulevard (1950)

This film involve a man becoming the object of affection of a former silent movie star, Norma Desmond who overtake his life little by little until she kills him. Norma suffered with the times when silent movies went out of fashion and she is unable to move on, alone in her great house: people told Norma that she had no value and it had an impact on her psyche. She loses all sanity when arrested for killing Joe Gillis as she believes she is back in show business. The film also explores facades; Norma may live a glamorous if not lonely life, but her mental state torments her, like Aggie has with hers as she wanders around the hospital site driven ‘mad’ with grief and anger.

13. R D Laing: ‘anti-psychiatrist’

'Here was someone explaining madness, showing how the fragmentation of the person was an intelligible response to an intolerable pressure”

Quote from: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/aug/25/rd-laing-aaron-esterson-mental-illness

In discussing the concept of my film with a member of my family, I was directed to the psychiatrist/anti-psychiatrist, RD Laing. In the 1960’s and early 1970’s Laing wrote about how a person’s so-called ‘mad’ behaviour was in fact intelligible when their entire situation and experience was taken into account. He and other writers (like David Cooper) talked about the concept of the ‘double-bind’ where a person’s opportunity to make a decision to resolve the way they were being treated was blocked – perhaps by a member of their family saying that it was not in their personality to be assertive or angry.

This reminded me very much of Agatha; she tries to express her outrage at the great wrong done to her, but she is judged as unworthy and undeserving, so the wrong is seen as justified and her punishment for being the ‘low-life’ who would have a child and have to live in a workhouse. It is circular – she is treated badly because she deserves to be treated badly and so this means that her hatred and insanity brings the great wrong up herself.

Laing is largely forgotten today, but his ideas resonate with certain ideas in feminism and anti-racism. ‘Gaslighting’ is everywhere, both back then and now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NnBonXPLJM

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tuneful-ramblings · 5 years

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The Kick Inside - Kate Bush: Album Review

Release Date: 17th Feb 1978

Hello

And so it has begun. Welcome to Tuneful Ramblings, where I plan to review/discuss a wide variety of music, whether it’s music I’ve loved for years, something I’ve just discovered or something someone has requested me to review. Oh, and one last thing: There will be rambling. You have been warned. :)

What is it to me?

I’ve chosen to begin with one of my all time favourite albums by one of my all time favourite artists. There will probably be a fair amount of bias in this review, and I’m not sorry about it.

The Context

Picture the scene. It’s 1978, Britain. Things are okay, but something is missing and no one is quite sure why. Until… hark! A distant warbling can be heard over the rolling English countryside. It gets closer and closer until it lands amongst the mortals and suddenly, everything falls into place. For the first time, Kate Bush graces the speakers and screens of anyone brave enough to listen. And all across the land, everything is well.

The Tracks

1) Moving ‘Don’t think it over, it always takes you over’ The Kick Inside’s first track, Moving begins with 20 seconds of whale noises (because why the hell not?), establishing the somewhat meditative atmosphere of the album. I can’t name any other songs that start in this way. (Actually, I can, and I will in a minute.) Anyway, after those 20 seconds, the whale is upstaged by Bush’s famously high songbird-like call. Shockingly, she sings about movement in this song, apparently as a tribute to her mime instructor. It does have a kind of rhythm that makes me want to sway, so I guess she succeeded there. I’m no drummer, but I must say that the soft drumstick tapping and occasional quiet cymbal are pleasantly relaxing. Moving is not my top pick from the album, but I like it more each time I hear it. Ramble Rating: 8/10

2) The Saxophone Song ‘Of all the stars I’ve seen that shine so brightly, / I’ve never known or felt in myself so rightly’ The second song on the album begins with, you guessed it, more whale noises! It always strikes me how young and sprightly Bush’s voice sounds in this song. I can’t believe she was around my age when some of these songs were recorded (and I’m still fresh out of the womb). Honestly, I’m not entirely sure of the song’s meaning (and why should I be? I didn’t write the blinkin’ thing), but it’s the kind of tune that very easily gets stuck in my head. Long story short though, if you like the sounds of whales and saxophones, you’ll probably enjoy this one. Ramble Rating: 8/10

3) Strange Phenomena ‘You pick up a paper. You read a name. / You go out. It turns up again and again.’ Strange Phenomena explores the link between female energy and the universe, and the psychic powers women are said to gain around that time of the month. Previously to hearing this song, I wasn’t aware of this myth, and I’m not sure if I can testify in favour of it because I like to think I’m quite psychic all the time, regardless of the ‘phase of the moon’. Only quite psychic though, not enough to make a living out of it. But yes, as someone who experiences a lot of coincidences *cough* accurate premonitions *cough* in my every day life, the lyrics of this song speak to me. Ramble Rating: 8/10

4) Kite ‘I got no limbs, I’m like a feather on the wind / I’m not sure if I want to be up here at all’ I always assumed this song was simply about escapism but, upon revision, I’ve discovered it’s true that if you assume, you really do make an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me’. With mention of Beelzebub and not knowing ‘how to get down’, I now theorize that Kite may revolve around being coerced to leave your life behind based on someone else’s promises and then regretting it. Or maybe not. I don’t know. Ramble Rating: 7/10

5) The Man with the Child in His Eyes ‘Maybe he doesn’t love me / I just took a trip on my love for him’ This beautiful song is almost a lullaby, rocking our inner children to sleep. Maybe our inner children can learn from our outer elders. Or maybe we can learn from others with inner children. Okay, I’m done. Ramble Rating: 9/10

6) Wuthering Heights ‘Too long I roam in the night / I’m coming back to his side, to put it right’ Wuthering Heights was Kate’s first big hit and is probably her most iconic track. Now, I don’t want to sound dramatic here, but this song changed my life. After rediscovering this video a couple of years ago, I fell in love with three things: Kate Bush, Noel Fielding and Emily Bronte’s novel, Wuthering Heights. I’m not going to bore you with the details, but, long story short, I can see many aspects of my life and creativity which have been influenced in some way by this holy trinity. For that, I am eternally grateful. Oh yes, and at some point, I taught myself the entire dance routine from Bush’s ‘red dress’ Wuthering Heights music video. No regrets. I’m sure it’ll come in handy one day… Ramble Rating: 10/10

7) James and the Cold Gun ‘You’re a coward James / You’re running away from humanity / You’re running out on reality’ I don’t know who James is, but this song is lit. Yep, I really did just say that. I don’t know how else to describe it. You just have to hear it for yourself. I dare you to listen to this song without tapping your foot. Ramble Rating: 9/10

8) Feel It ‘The glorious union, well, it could be love / Or it could be just lust but it will be fun’ Tracks 8, 9 and 10 appear to be a collection of songs about love. Feel It is a rather sensual song, and I’m not sure quite what to say about it. I do really like it though, and it’s certainly another earworm. Ramble Rating: 8/10

9) Oh to Be in Love ‘I could have been anyone / You could have been anyone’s dream’ As a friend of mine once said, Oh to Be in Love is a very theatrical song. I don’t know about you, but it makes me want to parade about doing some kind of improvise musical theatre routine (who am I kidding, that is what I do!). It also makes me want to be in love with someone who isn’t a fictional character portrayed by Colin Firth (or indeed, Colin Firth himself). But I suppose that’s a story for another day. Ramble Rating: 7/10

10) L'Amour Looks Something Like You ‘The thought of you sends me shivery / I’m dressed in lace, sailing down a black reverie’ This is another track which has grown on me over time. It is nice. I like it. Wow, my reviewing skills are second to none right now. (My apologies, it’s gone midnight, but I’m determined to get this post finished today, it’s been far too long in the making.) This song often catches me out because the little twinkle at the very beginning sounds a lot like Wuthering Heights. Ramble Rating: 8/10

11) Them Heavy People ‘I must work on my mind / For now I realize / Everyone of us has a heaven inside’ I think Them Heavy People is all about potential we all hold within us. This is something that I think many people forget, or lack confidence in, as I’ve always believed that half of succeeding at something is believing that you can do it. The song is also a bop. Ramble Rating: 8/10

12) Room for the Life ‘Like it or not, we were built tough / Because we’re woman’ I’m not entirely sure whether this song is a celebration of motherhood or of womanhood in general, but, regardless, it has a lovely, jaunty, reggae-ish beat, and stands out from the rest of the album, sound-wise. I recall a recent episode of BBC’s Pointless where one of the three questions in the final round was to try to guess a song from The Kick Inside that could be pointless (meaning that none of the people in the ‘survey’ had said it), and the lady answering seemed to have merged Room for the Life with Them Heavy People, resulting her answering with ‘Heavy Woman’. Oh how I did chuckle. Besides that, Room for the Life makes me feel that, although I don’t particularly want to have a baby, it’s nice to know that I can. Ramble Rating: 7/10

13) The Kick Inside ‘Your sister I was born. / You must lose me like an arrow, / Shot into the killer storm.’ And last, but certainly not least, we come to the title track, The Kick Inside. The first time I listened to this track, I thought it was all well and good, until I heard ‘Your sister I was born’, and, well, I was rather disturbed and taken aback. I knew there must have been some interesting meaning behind the song’s incestuous tone, so I headed straight to the Kate Bush Encyclopedia, to find that it was inspired by a traditional folk song called Lucy Wan. This is probably the saddest song on the album, as it is essentially a suicide note written by a woman who has become pregnant with her brother’s baby and feels she must kill herself to save his reputation. Ramble Rating: 10/10

And on that light-hearted note, we have reached the end of this journey. Don’t expect my future reviews to be quite this long. It is only because this is one of my favourite albums that I had so much to say about it. Do let me know what you think of The Kick Inside, and please leave any requests for music you would like me to review next. :)

OVERALL RAMBLE RATING FOR ‘THE KICK INSIDE’ ALBUM: 8.2/10

#kate bush #the kick inside #review #music #music review #music blog #wuthering heights

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seanpatricklittlewriter · 3 years

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The Final Blog Post of 2020

Greetings, friends. It has been a while.

I think, as it has been for so many of us, 2020 is going down as a year where I accomplished pretty much nothing.I had big things planned for 2020, as I am sure a lot of you did, and they just… did not happen. Most of the downhill slide started in March, when I accepted a third-shift job. My body did not respond well to working third shift, and it sapped me of just about any will do to anything. I spent my days asleep, and my nights hovering through a weird twilight state where I was awake and doing things, but I was not happy about it. On my days off, I could barely function, and I started getting little fits of narcolepsy. After a doctor’s appointment, I mentioned these issues, and the doctor told me that someone who has the sort of thyroid and metabolic conditions that I have should not work third shift because it throws my whole system into whack.

So, I’m looking for a new job, a better job (hopefully), and something that I actually look forward to doing. If nothing else, I’ve learned that money isn’t as important as actually enjoying your work.But, with this job, and the pandemic, of course, all my routines were knocked out and I have been struggling to figure out a new routine. I used to be able to write at home back when I lived in rented apartments. Since I bought a home, I’ve found it difficult. There is always something around the house that needs doing. I found a refuge at my local Culver’s restaurant. I’d go in, get a diet Mt. Dew to drink, and kick over 3-5 hours in my favorite booth grinding out pages. Now, with that not exactly being a favorable option, my writing output has decreased to almost nothing. A sentence here. Maybe a page or two, if I was lucky. The inability to generate a solid routine has made the story harder to solidify in my mind. So, it’s been a rough year is what I’m saying.

I’m still kicking, though.

As is traditional, I like to list a few things that I found that brought me some joy this year and share them with you, as maybe you might like them, too.

Movies:

--I have not watched a ton of movies this year. The last movie I saw in a theater was “1917,” which I enjoyed greatly. It was an excellent WWI film, and the fact that they made it look like it was done in a single take was a masterstroke. It was beautifully filmed, and almost every frame could be a painting. Well worth the time.

I also just watched “Soul” on Disney+. There was a lot reminiscent of “Inside Out” in “Soul,” but “Soul” was a much quieter, more existential film. I liked it a lot, but it wasn’t one of Pixar’s best outings.

I watched George Clooney’s “The Midnight Sky” the other day. It was a long, dreadfully slow, and ultimately pointless film. I did not care for it. Most of the other films I’ve watched this year were fairly forgettable.

They were titles on streaming services that have been out a few years, but never generated a lot of noise.

Television:

I watched a ton of television this year. What the hell else was I going to do, right? I’m sure most of you are in the same boat. Anyhow, I have long believed that TV has become superior to films in the last few years. Better characters, better stories, and the time to tell those stories. I prefer episodic television to just about anything film has given us in the past few years, so here’s what I was watching this year.

--“19-2” (purchase four season on Amazon Prime): If you’ve watched “Letterkenny” on Hulu, then you must be familiar with Jared Keeso, who plays the central character Wayne. Keeso won some awards for a Canadian cop drama called “19-2” before he made “Letterkenny,” and I can understand why. This is a fairly dark, but realistic cop drama about the 19th Precinct in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, and deals with the new guy (Keeso) transferring into the precinct from a small town and dealing with his new partner (Adrian Holmes) and the rest of the flawed members of the station in addition to dealing with policing duties around the city. One thing I liked about the series is that it never got away from the day-to-day grind of policing in a big city. The characters’ story arcs had to be worked in around the calls and patrols. The first episode of the second season of “19-2” deals with the precinct responding to a school shooting. It is, by far, one of the finest hours of television I’ve ever seen. Chaotic and hurried, brutal and bloody. It’s everything that keeps your eyes glued to the set. There were only 38 episodes of “19-2,” but I could have watched another four seasons of it. It supplanted “The Shield” as my favorite cop drama. Well worth the time.

--“The Queen’s Gambit” (Netflix): I’m not going to add anything original to this that hasn’t already been written by other people. This highly lauded limited series was well-written and acted, and it actually made competitive chess interesting. Anna Taylor-Joy was excellent in the lead role, and the costumes and sets were fantastic.

--“The Uncanny Counter” (Netflix): My mother watches an insane amount of South Korean TV shows. I don’t know why. She is the butt of many jokes because of this. However, “The Uncanny Counter” is a pretty cool series that feels like an indie comic book. The premise is a group of Grim Reapers run a noodle shop and fight demons. However, the show is much more complex than that. The characters’ stories are all intertwined in odd ways, and it’s very watchable.

--“Hospital Playlist” (Netflix): Another show my mother suggested was the sappy, and almost twee hospital show “Hospital Playlist.” This show is a fairly soft, airy, and cute little hospital drama about five doctors who have been friends since medical school. They’re all heads of their respective departments now, and they work at the Yulje Medical Center. While the show centers around the five main characters, there’s a whole slate of other doctors and interns who add to the story. Inevitably, the show is about life, love, and death—like any other hospital drama. However, the core group of friends also get together once a week and play music to relax, so there is a cutesy pop song at the end of the episodes that plays into a montage of that week’s story wrapping up. The characters in the show are very likeable, and that’s about the best thing this show has going for it. Each episode is like 90 minutes, and there are 12 episodes in the first season, but I watched them all, and I hate to admit it, but I’m interested in seeing what season 2 will bring.

--“Upload” (Amazon Prime): Greg Daniels of “The Office” fame created and produced this series about the Singularity, a hypothetical point in the future when we will be able to merge our consciousness with a computer, and thus physical death will mean we have a chance to live a digital afterlife where we can still interact with our loved ones on the earthly plane through VR. The show is funny and extremely intelligent. It’s satire and commentary wrapped up in a solid existential premise.

--“Star Trek: Discovery” season 3 (CBS All Access): I’m not going to write a ton about ST:Disco, but I will say that season 3 is the first season that felt like “Star Trek” to me. It’s one of the few shows that I have actually looked forward to week-to-week.

--“The Mandalorian” season 2 (Disney+): Like ST:Disco, this is one of the few shows I actually looked forward to. The first couple of episodes felt like the series was in a bit of a rut, but the last three episodes made it all worthwhile. Total fanboy moments abounded.

--“Ted Lasso” (Apple+TV): Strangely enough, a sitcom based on a single-premise joke from a series of Superbowl ads from a couple years ago is, hands-down, my favorite new show of 2020. Jason Sudeikis of SNL fame plays Ted Lasso, the former head coach of the Wichita Shockers college football team who is hired to be the head coach of FC Richmond, a Premier League Football team in England. Initially Ted is hired by the new owner of Richmond, who happened to have won the team from her ex-husband in a messy divorce. Her initial goal is to have Ted unknowingly destroy the team, but Ted’s boundless optimism and true concern and care for his players flips the script. This is the show that 2020 needed. It is funny and joyous, and it’s another feather in Bill Lawrence’s (Scrubs, Spin City, etc…) cap. I watched this show out of a sense of loyalty to Bill Lawrence, but I ended up LOVING it. The fact that Apple renewed “Ted Lasso” for two more seasons immediately is very telling about how good this show was. Highly, highly recommend.

Music:

I barely listened to anything new this year. Not many bands I liked came out with a new record, and I was usually listening to podcasts or watching TV instead. However, there were two albums that came out year that I would note.

--Kyle Kinane, “Trampoline in a Ditch”: Kinane’s newest stand-up album, recorded in Madison, Wis., is a fun jaunt through Kinane’s weird sense of humor and excellent writing style. This record had me and my daughter laughing out loud on the day it came out, and I’ve listened to it several times since. Kinane’s writing is so good, I pick up subtle jokes on additional listenings.

--Brett Newski, “Don’t Let the Bastards Get You Down”: Milwaukee Dork Rocker Newski put out another solid album this year. Check out the video for “Wha’d Ya Got to Lose?”

Podcasts:

Spent a ton of time listening to podcasts at my third shift job. I’m not going to write a ton about them individually, but here’s the list of the podcasts that got the most listens from me:

--Gilbert Gottfried’s Amazing, Colossal Podcast --Fake Doctors, Real Friends --Timesuck --Scared to Death --Office Ladies --Unexplained --Lore --Cabinet of Curiosities --Haunted Locations

Books:

I probably read the fewest books I’ve read in ages this year. I’m usually good for 20-40 books a year, and this year—I just did not get there. I maybe read 12 books this year, and that bothers me. I just could not focus on reading. However, much of what I did read, I enjoyed. The best of those are as follows: --Craig Johnson, “Next to Last Stand” --CJ Box, “Winterkill” --Joe Ide, “IQ” --Sebastien de Castell, “Crownbreaker” --Douglas Preston & Lincoln Child, “Crooked River” Anyhow, I hope some of those media suggestions will bring you some joy. We sure could all use some in 2021, no doubt. In the meantime, do continue to stay safe and healthy. Take precautions. Don’t throw caution to the wind. My plans for 2021: --Lose weight (as usual) --Finish the second Abe & Duff novel --Maybe finish another of the several novels on my desktop --Get a job I don’t hate --Make it to 2022 Here’s to hoping I have some good news about Abe & Duff in 2021. Thanks for reading, and Happy New Year. --Sean

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soulephant · 6 years

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I never thought I’d reach the point where I legitimately want to complain to Intelligent Systems and ask what they think they’re doing to Fire Emblem Heroes but...

Here we are. A player with resources who did spend money in the past and decided it probably wasn’t worth it. A player with all these resources who has reached tier 20 before through hard work but can’t reach it again because IntSys made a completely redundant green that’s so powerful even his biggest, red merge dies in one hit to it.

Speaking frankly, me and IntSys need to talk.

Let me start by saying that many, many of the problems I'm going to touch on relate to and impact the arena. Anything outside of it is fine, the anniversary provided me with over 100 orbs in about a week, infernal is good now that I have the resources to deal with it... But the arena. Oooh boy.

As I said in the survey, the scoring in the arena (which IntSys tries to sell as being competitive, mind you) stops having anything to do with skill starting from tier 19. I've had to do massive finetuning with merges and spend feathers on one level of one skill just to get into tier 20 somewhere in January! Even before that, I've known success with less resources than the kind of people that populate tier 20. Being matched with teams that are as beefy or beefier I can understand. But then also being scored based on the power of your team regardless of how you used it? For example, flatout scoring higher with the decidedly easier to use Hector than any mage with a raventome? Scoring higher because you have disposable heroes to merge? It doesn't make a lick of sense, and robs me (and probably several other players with me) of any due sense of accomplishment. I have proven I belong in tier 20 once before. But at the same time, I figured it was fine since it could apparently be done... Until the latest new heroes came along.

Before that though, let me highlight an unhealthy tendency as far as development of Fire Emblem Heroes goes. You see, Intelligent Systems rarely outright fixes anything related to game balance at all. Trenches, they kept cavaliers in check, true. I initially applauded the weapon refinery due to the selection of refinable things. But let me tell you a bit of a story: While rolling for regular Ike, I got Ryoma. He did fine, despite an unfavorable bane. But then sword users got faster and bulkier. Most importantly, the first Choose Your Legends really did a number on distant countering weapon users. One of the first CYL units is Brave Lyn. She's on a horse, has quite the stats despite being a ranged cavalier and, most importantly, has a skill that neuters distant counterers. And then Intelligent Systems gave that for free! There goes one of my strongest units. The money I spent earlier in the game? Effectively up in flames! In general their tendency to powercreep makes investment earlier in the game mostly pointless. If I didn't get the Nowi I did as first 5 star hero, I could have stopped playing already because I'd have been unable to check Brave Lyn. They still get my money every now and again because I lucked out.

Did I mention it impacts the arena? Which is by far the most consistent source of feathers, and later also refining stones and sacred coins that are likewise used to build units? Basically, anything that makes the arena a nightmare negatively impacts the ability to keep playing the game and not lose interest. Especially with the powercreep making it necessary to build new things (even though most units just come with perfect skills nowadays but that’s neither here or there).

Anyway, that's one example of fixing a problem by introducing another problem. Now for the main problem: The new Hector. Quite frankly: What the fuck was Intelligent Systems thinking?!

For a start, he barely has anything to do with Valentines whatsoever. Couldn't they come up with something? Even before Awakening and Fates, there were plenty of other options! But no, instead IntSys has to powercreep again! And this is of the kind I didn't even think was possible!

He's pretty much straightup stronger than regular Hector. He loses speed and HP but they barely mattered on him anyway. Mind, Hector was already one of the strongest units in the game! Doesn’t IntSys do research? Then how does one miss the fact that Hector was that strong and has actually survived powercreep to boot?! That has to be the most common knowledge!

Second, they literally had another opportunity to powercreep Hector. It was called Choose Your Legends 2. Instead it's in a valentines banner Hector has nothing to do with! I don’t like valentines but if you’re going to release a banner for it, do it right!

But the following has to be the absolute worst: Just as Hector was one of the strongest units, his Armads was one of the best legendary weapons. And it somehow needed an upgrade to a slaying weapon with wrath built in... and then be given to the new strongest unit in the game to make him busted! Yes, I said busted! I bloody well mean it! Let me tell you of the straw that broke the camels back: Today I faced a “valentines” Hector in the arena with vantage, bonfire and I don't even remember what else. I had a red who was my biggest merge outright: Masked Marth. After a few turns of combat, I had the Hector in wrath and vantage range, and to my horror... He would oneshot my Masked Marth even at full health! They have made a green that doesn't give a single fuck about reds! That destroys my best unit that is both red and able to get me in tier 20! And mind, I have paid money! Three or four games worth on money on just one game! How does IntSys think less wealthy/more wise players are supposed to deal with their developmental mistake?!

And the worst thing is... they are probably planning to make the Armads upgradable into that thing, giving regular Hector access to it... And a lot of people have regular Hector! They have probably ruined the arena for several people, including at least one that has resources! Good job there! I have to wonder who they were even catering to: People who somehow can't win with the former best unit in the game? That’s a lack of skill, not imbalance! What problem were they even solving? Reds can beat Hector? It's called the weapon triangle, or at least based on it! It’s in the franchise this game is supposed to celebrate in the first place!

So as much as I hate to do this, I'm going to have to make a demand of IntSys: Start nerfing things, starting with Berserk Armads.

Yes, I said nerfing! Not what they are usually doing! Making a separate upgrade to armorslaying weapons because they fucked up with them before? No. Making the slaying edge because the killing edge was a tad weak? NO. Making separate Brazen skills because they overestimated Defiant skills? NO! Making Brave Lyn what she is because of distant countering swordsmen? NO! Adding Zelgius because the Black Knight apparently wasn't strong enough?! NO! This time, actual nerfs are in order! Think about what unbeatable red they would have to make because they thought that Hector was a good idea! They would be reading similar complaints time and time again, and they could be losing profit because guess what? Most people eventually stop paying or even playing if you keep making their most prized units irrelevant!

If I indeed complain to IntSys (and admittedly be more polite about it), I hope they consider what they’re doing. But there’s another Hector still coming. One that is probably similar bullcrud. I don’t mind him but not like this, when he becomes synonymous with nonsense, developmental mistakes and fun-sucking! I mean it’s fine right? People have money to burn so they get a brainless gamewinner to be “skilled” with in a gacha game.

Seriously.

#Soul talks #fire emblem #fire emblem heroes #rant #long post

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