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rooftopbeliver · 9 months

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‘dangerously yours’ .ೃ࿐ ❝masquerade❞

┊ ➶ ｡˚ 　　° cillian murphy x f! reader

. . .

AFTER A FEW WEEKS, everything on set was done. these weeks were very exhausting because all she was doing for a few days was searching with her assistant for the most vintage and breathtaking hotel that could exist. the first episode they were about to make was also the first episode in the original broadcast that was called ‘masquerade’. the whole action takes place in a hotel, so they needed to find the perfect one. it was a hard decision to make because all the places were booked or too expensive to rent. but after visiting a lot of old hotels, she found the most luminous one.

it was a hotel on the outskirts of a small city, which was very atmospheric because it felt like she was really in an old city. she knew that it wasn’t the last time she would have to search for a location like this because every episode would have a different plot, etc., but she liked it. she wanted everything to be like it was in her teenage head. you could tell that she was enjoying putting all that effort into that project by seeing a big smile on her face all the time. she knew that maybe people would hate this series, but she didn’t care; she was doing it mostly for herself.

the ‘masquerade’ episode was a story about the beautiful but tragic love between rudolph & catherine. it was beautifully written, full of amazing quotes, and even more amazing characters. but in broadcast, they showed a shorter version of a tale, so it was quite difficult to do this on the movie set. she wanted to do it in an old-fashioned style; she was inspired by theater performances, and she loved this overplayed expression.

. . .

these days she also spent talking with the cast to get to know them better. she wanted everyone to feel comfortable with each other because they were going to spend time together for a year or longer. y/n got to like all of her teammates, but she liked cillian the most. maybe it was cliché, but she was his fan for eight years, and now she had him in her production, so it was obvious that he got her attention the most. she was mesmerized by his charisma and charm. he was a good listener who preferred listening to her talk about her story or this project than talking about himself. he was very fascinated by her investment and her knowledge about everything that they needed for their roles. he had been an actor for a long time, but it was the first time he met a young soul who was that professional and helpful in this career. she was doing everything by herself, with a little help from her assistant. cillian was ambitious, but he would never be able to do this many things at once, and she doesn’t look tired at all.

now he was sitting on the couch in the hotel hallway, rereading the script just in case. he saw y/n coming toward him with a smile on her face; she was in catherine’s white dress, looking just like women in 20s. if you ask cillian, he thought that she was perfect for this role.

“you like this place?” she sat next to him and admired how good he looked in this kind of suit.

“yes, it is gorgeous; you can feel like you are stepping back in time when you are here.” he smiled at her. he was being honest with her, he found not only this hotel but also the city beautiful; he has always been a fan of small towns.

“i’m happy you like it; i’m in love with this hotel; it’s just as i imagined it while listening to this.”

“and you look just as i imagined catherine, classy and beautiful,” cillian said confidently. she blushed and said a polite ‘thank you’.

“you are perfect-looking too, mister.” she felt good doing a bit of flirting with him because she excused herself by saying that it was only preparation for the roles.

“see you on set, darling,” cillian said, standing up from the couch and making his way to his wardrobe. maybe he will like this production even more than he thinks.

. . .

“okay, so we are ready for the first scene, in the catherine’s room. are we ready?" the director said, looking at y/n and cillian. they just nodded and smiled at each other. she smoothed her dress and sat down in the chair as cillian made his way behind the mahogany doors. it was a middle scene from broadcast, but it isn’t new that on set nothing is done chronologically.

“and action!"

cillian knocked on the door and she walked, her hips overplaying moves, just as she imagined the women in the past. she opened and smiled at him, resting her head on the door.

“madam, you have made a mistake. my name is not lougi. i’ve not seen you or these jewels before,” he said, changing his accent to something more american, at this moment, y/n knew she made the right decision by putting him into this role.

“i know. won’t you come in, count estefan?” she smiled sweetly. she also sounds a little differently than when she speaks normally.

"you- you know who i am?” he said, walking into ‘her apartment’ as she closed the door.

“well of course! you were the most handsome man in dining room and i was very lonely, so i thought tonight i will have an adventure. i will make an acquaintance of the distinguished count estefan.” y/n felt like she could say those words to cillian not only in those circumstances, but in reality as well.

“how do you know my name?” he asked, surprised, raising his eyebrows.

“it was not difficult to find out” she smiled, pushing back a wisp of her hair from her face.

“how did you know i wouldn’t run off with your jewels?”

“i took that chance. besides they’re insured. are you angry?”

cillian chuckled, his laugh was prettier in real life, y/n though. “no, i’m not angry. if some kind fate wishes to send a beautiful lady to dine with me, i can only be grateful. you will do me the honor, won’t you, madam?” he said it so convincingly that people could think that he wasn’t acting.

“i shall be delighted” she said blushing.

“and cut!” the director said with a big smile, and clapped loudly. “everything is done in one take; you two are the best; if this is what it would looks like, i would be the happiest director on earth,” he laughed as an all-staff.

“it’s getting late, but it’s perfect; we can do a shooting star scene, and we are done for today,” y/n’s assistant said, as cillian nodded, agreeing with that plan.

. . .

“so. . . how do you like it so far?” y/n asked cillian, while going to the location next to the hotel, where they were going to record a next scene.

“i love it; actually, you are a great actress, so it makes it easier. really, i have never done a whole scene in one take,” he said, being surprised at how good an actress y/n is. he has never seen her in any movies, so he was skeptical about her being the main character at first, but he was more than happy to work with her.

“thank you; i’m flattered to hear this from an actor like you. my great-grandmother would be proud that someone as great as you played in her comfort show” she didn’t know why, but talking with cillian was smooth and very entertaining. he was almost twice her age, but she didn’t care about things like this, and she hoped that he didn’t either.

“well. . . i’m sure, she is happy that you play her roles, it really suits you.”

. . .

“the sky is perfect for this; we’re lucky,” adam — the director — said happily, turning the camera on again. “cillian and y/n. you two sit down right here,” he said, pointing out the vintage bench as they sat next to each other. “great. and now, cillian you put your arm around y/n shoulder; it’s a romantic scene after all.” when y/n felt cillian’s touch on her skin, she tried not to tens her muscles; she didn’t even know why she reacted like this, but she ignored it.

“and action!”

“look catherine! a shooting star! did you wish?” he asked, pointed up to the sky.

“oh. . . i didn’t have time”

“and there is something you’d wish for?” he asked curiously, looking at her.

“yes. . .”

“what did you wish?”

“i was wishing that- we were two other people. two people who need not say goodbye. . .” she said with sadness in her voice.

“perhaps it can be that way” he looked at her, squeezing her arm.

“cut!” adam ended the recording. “thank you guys so much; you were incredible. i never had people who could do scenes that fast. tomorrow is a day off, so see you in two days!” everyone started to make their way to wardrobes, but when y/n stood up from the bench, she felt cillian touch her hand. she looked at him with a smile as he asked:

“would you like to go for lunch with me tomorrow?”

“i would love to see you at two, rudolph” she chuckled. she couldn’t hide how excited she was at this moment.

. . .

taglist: @xxsp3llb0undxx

. . .

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ thank you for attention!! ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

note: it is a loong chapter but i liked it! and i hope you guys will like it too! share with your opinion, on comments or even my dm’s. it’s so important to me.

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy x y/n #cillian x fem!reader #imagines #oppenheimer 2023 #oppenheimer movie #cillian murphy x reader #cillian x reader #oppenheimer #actors #cillian one shot #cillian series #i love cillian murphy #cillian fic #cillian fluff #fluff #dangerously yours

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halliescomut · 7 months

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Yoh's drawings of Mizuki- a deeper dive

So, I went though to pull any and all pictures that we have of Yoh’s drawings of Segasaki, since they’ve made them a key story point, and it’s unfortunate that we don’t have more, because it’s honestly fascinating to me. You can find my first post with quick thoughts here. I sort of hemmed and hawed over how exactly to present my findings, but I think it makes the most sense to go chronologically per the story vs episode order, so we’re starting with episode 7 and the flashbacks.

Episode 6/7-Flashbacks

Episode 6 offers no specific images of the sketches but does give us the impetus for them. We get to see Yoh first lay eyes on Mizuki, and then are privileged to get his inner thoughts. We learn a lot about him in this episode, especially in regard to his career. The previous episodes would have us believe that Yoh was in university to pursue art in some form or fashion, but we learn in this moment, that prior to seeing Mizuki he had really only drawn manga as a hobby. That’s not to say he couldn’t be good at it, but it says that he didn’t consider it to be a possibility for him as a career. And while drawing manga isn’t easy or simple, it can be far less complex than drawing realism, which means that we’re seeing Yoh expand his creative wheelhouse SPECIFICALLY in an attempt to capture Mizuki on the page. And we see him practicing skills related to realism in one of the other sketches.

If you think about how Mizuki was essentially the catalyst for his dream, how he’s the base model of his love interests in his own stories, it becomes far more understandable why Yoh would be so upset to think that Mizuki doesn’t care about his career or value his talent. Because in his mind, he essentially wouldn’t be in this predicament if not for Mizuki.

Moving onto episode 7, we know that Mizuki can feel Yoh watching him, and he’s intelligent enough to put 2 and 2 together to understand that Yoh is drawing him in that little notebook of his. So after at least a few encounters with him, his curiosity clearly gets the best of him and he asks to see it.

I talked before in my no sub watch about how this scene just displays the MOST submissive behavior from Yoh. You can read Luta’s work about how Mizuki and Yoh are lovely examples of a lifestyle D/s dynamic that’s more organic than negotiated. It’s simply who they are, and it’s there from the very beginning. I know that age/seniority plays a part in some interactions, but it’s the lack of questions that confirm for me that it’s more than just societal expectation. Yoh doesn’t even question handing over his sketchbook, knowing there’s multiple pictures of Segasaki in it, he only becomes uncomfortable when he thinks his drawings are bad.

Segasaki, in Yoh’s point of view of this time in their lives seemed vaguely discontent, but not overly so. We find out he was fully uninterested in his friend group for the most part. I also sort of called that in my no subs watch, feeling that they were more friends of convenience, and possibly in the same faculty or major, and not people he gravitated towards. In actuality, even in the present we don’t see much in the way of Mizuki having friends. He’s friendly enough with his ‘at work persona’ but he has no interest in extending work interactions more than necessary.

Presented with these drawings depicting his boredom, vague grumpiness, even sadness or loneliness, he realizes that Yoh sees so much deeper than the front he puts on. That’s not to say his ‘engaged’ mask is flawless, it’s Party City quality at best, but his friends are sort of self-absorbed enough that they don’t care. That’s not necessarily meant to be a dig, it’s just kind of true. The reality is that most 20-22 year olds are kind of self-absorbed, they’re focused on themselves and their goals. I imagine Mizuki served a certain purpose in the friend group (likely intellectual) and in their mind since he wasn’t complaining he must be happy. It's also reasonable to assume that they filled a purpose in his life as well, even if it was just occasional company, or a study partner.

Yoh’s attempted defense at what he presumes is a complaint about their quality, only solidifies Segasaki’s understanding that Yoh sees him so much more clearly than anyone has. Because he confirms that the intention is to quickly perceive and attempt to portray the emotion of the subject as well as an accurate physical rendering. We don’t have information in the show regarding his family situation, but it’s possible that even if there is a solid familial tie that those people also don’t really see him.

This feeling is further confirmed when Yoh pulls Mizuki away from his friend group, asserting that he didn’t look well. His friends had taken no notice at his less than energetic interaction, but Yoh could seemingly see it from across the quad. AND despite having small in passing conversations and interactions, wanted to help him. (Also can we think for just a moment about the level of courage it took for Yoh to interrupt a group of SENIOR students as shy as he is?? But he did it for Yoh, because his wellbeing outweighs any and all concerns, the same way Yoh's wellbeing outweighs anything else for Mizuki.) Now we know from the internal monologues of episode 6 that Yoh was already enamored with Mizuki, so it’s not really a surprise to us as the viewers, but it would be a surprise to Mizuki.

Following this turning point in Mizuki’s feelings for Yoh (specifically his claiming of him in this moment)…

we now see a new side of Segasaki, where he wants more of this interaction, where he wants to see more of himself through Yoh’s eyes.

And we get to see how being in the company of people he chooses, and who choose him to an extent, he is happy to simply exist in Yoh’s company. Which I think speaks directly to his willingness to follow with what Yoh agrees to once their living arrangement and sexual relationship begins. In what is the most perfect depiction of what D/s is really about, Yoh is the one truly in control, and because he loves Yoh, he’s happy to basically take what he can get. In every possible moment is he trying to share and express his feelings to Yoh? Yes, but sadly he’s garbage at it, which is the conflict of the show. I posited in my original post, that I also think this was an attempt to hopefully have Yoh see how Mizuki feels about him, that if he were able to observe Mizuki’s feelings, then he wouldn’t have to speak them aloud. In the intervening years I think there were times where he was sure that Yoh truly understood the depth of his feelings and desire to take care of him, but seemingly following those moments, would come ones that clearly displayed that he did not.

Episode 2

Episode 2 we see Yoh doodling Segasaki while he’s meant to be working, and he’s doing it based off of his weather show, what we’re seeing is Meterologist Mizuki. This particular sketch is far more detailed, likely because he’s able to observe uninterrupted, and it offers what we see later in episode 3 Yoh refer to as his 'public persona.' I’m so interested to know if Yoh has truly interacted with another person that Mizuki would call a friend and what those interactions look like. Because we know what his public persona is, we see it with his coworkers, his interaction with Yoh at the café, even his interactions with Man-san; and we know what his personality is with Yoh, it’s one that we actually see the most of. It’s gruff tones, and rough touches balanced by gentle strokes and soft whispers. But what is it outside of that?

This drawing also comes about when the new weather girl is introduced, and Yoh in a fit of jealousy over Mizuki smiling at her, scribbles over the picture.

The next morning after his tiff with an intoxicated Yoh, Mizuki finds the drawing on the floor from where Yoh had thrown it at him the day before. His reaction in that moment is one of sadness, because he can see that emotional distance growing between them, even though their physical distance has decreased.

His face in reaction to seeing the drawing is quite clearly very sad, even distraught, because he’s likely imagining that if Yoh could simply throw away these sketches, then how easily could he discard him as well?

Episode 3

In this episode we get the café drawing, which is more him drawing Mizuki from memory versus the observational drawing in the flashbacks. The figure is Mizuki, you can tell almost immediately, but it’s erring more towards Yoh’s manga style than the closer to realism versions we’d seen before. It’s also likely very intention to see this small sketch done in profile, and then have almost that same profile enter the screen.

And we learn here that these ‘café sketches’ are sort of a habit of Yoh’s, something he’s done for basically all of the time Mizuki has known him, though Mizuki doesn’t know that he’s the catalyst for them. When he encounters him at the café, he’s surprised that he’s still doing them, which makes it extra sweet to me when he asks him if he wants to sketch on their little date as well, but Yoh didn’t bring his sketchbook. It means he’s trying to encourage Yoh to be doing the things that make him happy, and just allow him to be there too. Mizuki is a simple man.

We also get a small glimpse at his manga skills on paper, which when compared to his drawing of Mizuki that same day makes me think that perhaps when he doesn’t have the subject to refer to that his drawings of Mizuki, when they’re based on memory, begin to skew more towards a manga style. Essentially when it’s something more mindless, he lets his strongest skillset take over, leading to something that’s more of a mix between realism and manga styling.

In regards to the manga that Man-san and Yoh have been writing, appartently that art was done by another manga author at the request of the original manga artist for Taikan Yoho. Thank you @notfreetoday for that delightful information.

'Not sure about the sketches, but the doujinshi that Man-san and Yoh made is drawn by a different manga artist, Toshima Awako, who also draws BL, and is a good friend of the original artist Taino Nikke.

Tai-sensei asked Awako-sensei to help 😊😊'

So now we have come to the end for at least this week, it's possible more examples will be presented to us in the finale, but I don't know that it will be anything so life-changing as to require my added information.

Please enjoy these adorable pictures in appreciation for reading this far.

Look at the silly little beans....so cute.

#my personal weatherman #taikan yoho #segasaki x yoh #mizuki x yoh #segasaki mizuki #yoh tanada #mashiko atsuki #higuchi kouhei

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satirates · 1 month

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I decided to watch Ninjago from the beginning again since it's being a while. Some of these episodes I haven't watched since 2012, but most of them I haven't watched since 2019 when I had my big Ninjago phase. Here's my thought on each season's from what I remember (I'm curious to see how it will change): Season 1: Good season with good characters. The final was PHENOMENAL and I watched it, like, 20 times. Baby me absolutely loved Zane and Hated Lloyd for some reason (I think it's because he was a brat) 9/10 Season 2 : I was not a big fan of the first couple of episodes or the city setting, but I again loved the final. It was so awesome! Still hated Lloyd for no reason, even has a teenager. 7/10

Season 3 (Rebooted): I strongly disliked that season, but for an excellent reason. I waited so long for season 3 that I couldn't wait any longer to watch it when it's release... in English... A language I didn't speak at the time. So my entire season 3 experience was trying and failing to understand the plot of a very confusing scenario that ended in my favourite character dying. I must tell that I wasn't a fan at the time, lol. 2/10

Season 4( ToE): I did wait for the French dub to watch season 4 and 5 so at least I could understand what's happening. I really liked season 4. Discovering new elemental masters was really fun, and they really nailed the tournament aspect of it all. 8/10

Season 5 (Possession): I didn't like this season when I watched it in 2015, but I loved it when I rewatched it in 2019. I think it's because I don't like scary things, so the ghost theming was too spooky for me when I was a baby. Strangely enough, this is the season that made me like Lloyd. I just needed him to be menacing, apparently. 9/10

Season 6 (Skybound): First season I watched in 2019 after giving up on Ninjago mid-possession in 2015. I knew at the time it was a very controversial season, but I LOVED it. It was my favourite so far. Not only did this season had very high stake, the Djin was also a very interesting villain. 10/10

Season 7 (HoT) : I'm not going to lie, I barely remember anything about the Hands of times other than it being focus on Kai and Nya and their parents. I don't remember disliking it, but it was clearly not my favourite. I don't remember/10

Season 8 (SoG): I'm going to say the same things for every season of this trilogy: I loved it! I liked the new design a lot, the animation looked amazing, and the scenario was the best we ever had. This was so cool. 10/10

Season 9 (Hunted): Same has the precedent season, but even better! Definitely the best season from what I could remember. I still own so many Lego sets from this era of Ninjago haha. 12/10

Season 10 (MotO) : I don't dislike this season, but it felt too short. I was really disappointed to see how the stake rise in the last episode without the emotions really landing that well. A miss in my opinion. But that final with the tornado of creation ? Fire! 6/10

Season 11 ( SFS) : I have weird feelings about this one. I do like what they did with the 11 minutes format in some cases (especially in the more humorous episodes), but it also felt like it prevent the episodes from reaching their true potential (haha). Everything has to start and end way too fast. I did like the Fire and Ice theming and both Asphera and the forgotten realm. If entertaining, this season was a bit underwhelming. 7/10

Season 12 (Prime Empire): Same critiques for the 11min format with this season (and onward). But I did like this one way more! The video game theme was really well-made and discovering the universe was really the selling point of season 12 for me. My biggest problem with it was that they just copied the scenario of Skybound which wasn't really original. 8/10

Season 13 ( MotM) : A Cole season! Yeah! This is the last season I remember really liking . The setting and scenario were fascinating, but a bit too simple for my taste. I think I was just happy to see my boy get a season to himself after 10 years . 7/10

Season 14 (The Island) : I don't really remember anything about this one. It was okay, I guess? It was just a really weird release. 5/10

Season 15 (Seabound: I officially dropped Ninjago after the first 10 episodes of Seabound or so. Not necessary because they were boring, but I wasn't invested in Ninjago anymore. I know Nya became the ocean since I was spoiled, but I need to watch this season to make my own decisions about it. 6/10

Season 16 (Crystallize): Haven't watched it, but oh boy did I heard bad things about it. This is on my list of new content to consume for a while now, so I need to watch it sooner than later. One day I will know/10

So yeah, wish me good luck! I hope I don't end up disliking things I loved as a baby, that would suck.

#ninjago #Time to watch ninjago!#again #boy it's been a while #But I need to do something waiting for DR season 2 or I will explode

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eriexplosion · 6 months

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Clone Wars - Ambush

And for now, back to the very start!

Real talk, part of the reason I was putting this off is because it STILL gives me such conflicted feelings regarding the Jedi & the clones relationship. And about Yoda, who is not my favorite but I hesitate to say I DISLIKE him because I do think he has fascinating angles but also I want to dropkick him like a little green football much of the time. I don't tend to talk about him much because I get Rambly.

However, his turn will come in a second, first things first: VENTRESS. Honestly it's still hilarious to me how if I had actually watched this show as a kid this woman would have single handedly led me to my sexuality like 7 years earlier than I managed it.

One of the clones kneeling to present Yoda with the communicator is SO cute. When the clones interact with beings much smaller than them........... I feel. But okay the first Complicated Feeling with Yoda is that I genuinely like him during the moment when he's marveling over the beauty of the moon and being a little playful. Kind of like I genuinely like him in the Original Trilogy when he's being a touch senile. Which just drives home how much I do not like him during most of his serious moments where his whole reputation for wisdom is used mostly to lead the plot around or say shit like his 'when our loved ones die we should be happy for them' advice to Anakin which, shockingly, didn't improve his Anxieties.

And he acknowledges the clones as individuals! It's a really sweet scene actually, and it starts the show out with the confirmation that yes these are people, they are full people with individual personalities. And then it gets helpfully ignored and Yoda never shows any concern about the clones as individuals again. Especially with the decision to retcon Jek in as one of the clones that Yoda straight up decapitates without pause or reflection.

Likeeee, this really undermines the feeling of the scene and sets an entirely different tone for Yoda's character to me, because it's such a strong moment in episode, so for it to never really come up with Yoda in particular again it's just. It's a weird decision, character tone wise.

Anyway this kind of ended up making me more resentful of Yoda in the long run? Because we get the immediate and obvious proof that he knows the clones are individuals, all of them unique and valuable, and then he proceeds to keep leading the Jedi through using them as tools for the rest of the war and ends up executing one of these same clones years later without pause or concern. If they had threaded this through a little more and given us more scenes like this it might not feel so stark? But that's also a big issue with the writing of the Jedi in general, where they lightly brush against the moral issues of the clones and then suddenly go "OH LOOK, LIGHTSABERS" and ignore it for 20 episodes.

My headcanon way of interpreting this is that Yoda was still very open early on but soon enough he starts realizing how many clones are going to die in this war. Each of them unique in the force. And since he's not really willing to push back against the Senate, for a variety of reasons, his other option is to just. Retreat back emotionally from the clones as individuals. Can't be consumed by negativity if you simply refuse to feel those bad things!

That said 'the force resides in all lifeforms' - increasingly loving this kind of drop in now that we know anyone can learn to use the force to some degree.

Another thing I enjoy is that I think that Yoda is actually really served design wise by the early season TCW animation. He looks good when he's stylized in the wood carving fashion.

This is much more of a flashy fight episode than a plot one, but any time clones are onscreen of course I can collect a pile of Thoughts about them. We also get a lot of battle droid comedy relief because they may be godawful fighters but at least they're funny. I think it does work better several episodes into the watch than it did as the very first episode, because watching the TCW movie (which was mostly excuses for long fights) and THEN this was a slog, but interspersing with other episodes that had a bit more substance to them made it feel like less of one.

Still. Vibrating about the clones even more in this watch because of having Hidden Enemy be so early on and calling attention to the clones horrifying situation makes my complicated feelings on Yoda acknowledging their individuality once and never again SO much stronger. Just. GAH. MY BOYS?

On a final note. Shout out to this fucking. Face. Ventress makes when she gets her lightsabers back.

Ventress the instant she's called 'young one': >:<

#the clone wars chrono rewatch #This is literally 95% rambling about my Yoda feelings whoops #but to be fair this is not exactly a MASSIVELY PLOT HEAVY EPISODE

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starwalkertales · 6 months

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Fic Tag Game

Thanks for tagging me, @veloursdor!!! That is an interesting one! 😘

So, let's see...

How many works do you have on ao3?

9 at the moment, with one idea in a draft folder -- no idea, if and when I will post it.

2. What's your ao3 word count?

oh gosh, I need a calculator... 246.827, holy shit...

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Star Wars -- Obikin, definitely my OTP 😍😍😍 When I was younger, I wrote for Harry Potter (years ago!) and Sherlock

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1 Heal with 590 kudos... definitely my most popular work so far. Thank again to everyone reading it and leving kudos/comments. I love you guys. Oh, in this story, Obi-Wan can't leave Anakin behind after their duel in Episode 6 of Kenobi and gets to helping him out of that suit!

2 Missing with 397 kudos in which Anakin got amnesia and flirty heavily with Obi-Wan after Rako Hardeen incident.

3 What you wish for with 334 kudos in which Obi-Wan touches a Sith holocron and develops some (for Anakin, sexy) Sith-qualities 😉

4 There is passion with 306 kudos, some sex-spice makes Obi-Wan hot for Ani...

5 Krayt's son with 253 kudos, in which Anakin is raised a Sith and meets Jedi Obi-Wan

5. Do you respond to comments?

yes, yes, I always do! I love your comments and the chats that sometimes come with them!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

My fics tend to have a happy ending... I want fluff and happy in my imagination. Life is shitty and hard enough some times...

7. What's the fic your write with the happiest ending?

Mh, all have a happy ending actually. But I think Building Dreams was really fluffy!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Just for one fic; There is passion. One person once bitched about it being Obikin, accusing it of being incest.

Luckily, nearly all other replies are very nice. I love you all fic readers and comment-writers! 😍😍😍

9. Do you write smut? What kind?

I do, not in all fics, though. It's Obikin smut. Mostly not too kinky, but I feel I should venture into that field more often...

10. Do you write cross-overs?

No.🤗

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also no. I could translate them on my own, though, but English is more common among readers than my mother tongue.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Not with Star Wars. I've done that once, years ago with a Harry Potter fic.

14. What's your all time favourite ship?

Obikin 😍😍😍

15. What's your WIP you like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Well, my longest WIP (and also oldest) is What you wish for, but I do hope I will finish it eventually!

16. What are your writing strength?

Oh, I don't know... maybe the readers could tell me, what they like the most? For me it's hard to find time to write, so whenever I am in the mood, I can write pretty much in one sitting, but often, it's hard and it takes hours to finish a page.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Write short sentences. I tend to make them too long and too complicated -- my mother tongue is to blame!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Oh, difficult question. It makes it hard to follow and I find it not very elegant to have translations in the notes below. I find it cool though, if you have one part of the dialogue in, say, Huttese, and the other part in basic (English). That way, you can guess the meaning. So, yeah, for Huttese or Mando'a, I like that for half a dialogue. I don't like it much, when I have to scroll down all the way to see translation to know what's going on.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter -- many, many years ago

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Mh, I do love Heal, because I find it fascinating to explore Vader and the suit. But I also loved Tempestas -- in which Anakin (19) traveled back in time to meet Padawan Obi-Wan (25), lots of trouble!

21. What fic would you love to rewrite some day?

Thank you @wibzenadarksiderwithasoftheart for making up this great question and letting me use it, too ❤

Definetely There is Passion. I love the concept, the whole fic was born from the idea "if you ever had sex with a force sensitive, you simply cannot settle for any non sensitive person", which is really problematic for Ani to enjoy his time with Padmé after Obi... It was only my second fic and I got intimidated by criticism of it containing non-con elements. Now, I would be more confident with the whole topic and hope, I will come back to it some time and rewrite it.

Thank you so much for tagging me, I loved that!!!!

So, no idea: everyone who wants to do this and hasn't already, please be free. You are hereby tagged!

Aaaaaaaaand I am tagging people who liked this 😁 @grapenehifics @underacalicosky @wibzenadarksiderwithasoftheart @mischievouschan4

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nightofsky101 · 1 year

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Top 20 Animes of 2022

Sorry I skipped last year. Trust me I was watching I just didn’t feel motivated to make another list. However this time I am, but little longer. That’s right it’s 20 now. Plus I added my reasons too. Enjoy.

1. Dance Dance Danseur

Captivating characters, beautiful animation and intriguing story. I really fell in love with this one I went far as to read the manga translation AFTER episode one and continued while the anime was airing. I love how Jumpei over came the toxic masculinity to pursue ballet. His love for ballet really is inspiring. You can see the joy in his eyes. Plus I love Jumpei and Natsuki’s chemistry there’s more of them in the manga. I really do wish the manga would get serialized here in the USA and for Mappa to do another season.

2. Sasaki and Miyano

Cute sweet wholesome BL love story I LOVE MY BABIES. If I had to pick a favorite couple of the year it would be Sasaki and Miyano. AAAHHH I couldn’t stop smiling watching this anime it’s good for the soul. Even if you’re not into BL this is the most safest to watch. The anime version of Heartstoppers.

3. My Dress Up Darling

Cute fun wholesome and sweet romance blooming in front of you. Marine is such a joy no doubt my best girl. Goujo’s passion for hinadoll is inspiring. The animation is so pretty especially when they smile. This really did made me proud to be an anime fan. I can’t wait for more of Marine and Goujo.

4. Blue Lock

Out of the ordinary sports anime with some wild and intense animation. Forget about friendship and team work. It’s all about being an egoist survival of the best striker. I really love the characters. BTW I was watching this before the World Cup started and during it really was life imitating anime. Until Japan lost to Croatia. Root for them next World Cup. I can’t wait for more I probably will reading the manga.

5. Demon Slayer Season 2

I laughed cried and screamed. This season was full of emotions plus I felt like I was watching a movie. I love Tanjiro’s growth this season, Uzui was a badass he really is so cool. Nezuko was amazing. Daki and Gyutaro got me heartbroken. Zenitsu and Inosuke were unstoppable everyone really had a fantastic moment.

6. My Hero Academia Season 6

A whole lot better than season 5. A few nip picks here, but it didn’t bother me too much. I really did enjoy this first half. The voice acting was phenomenal and I was just so happy to see my favorite parts of the manga finally animated. Deku is a beast, Bakugou got me screaming, Shouto I want to hug him. I super excited for the next arc.

7. Shikimori’s Not Just a Cutie

Cute and funny anime to watch. The moments with Shikimori, Izumi and their friends made me love this anime more. Who said a girl can’t be cute and handsome. BTW Hachimitsu is my spirit animal I love her.

8. Raven of the Inner Palace

The magic in this anime was pretty. The characters were fascinating, I love the Chines setting. Shouxue bring peace to the dead was uplifting. Plus I love Shouxue development she deserves the friends she has made.

9. Urusei Yatsura

The return of the original waifu Lum. I only watch a few episodes of the original anime they were pretty funny and the remake so far is fun to watch. I can see why Lum is so lovable.

10. Love Live Superstar Season 2

Between this one and Nijigasaki I like Superstar’s story more. Plus the series has broken some Love Live traditions. Liella really is a group you should be watching. Magaret and Lanzhu from Nijigasaki are queens. Love Live keeps on innovating new barriers.

11. Attack on Titan Final Part 3

Had me on the edge of my seat. Eren is a freaking beast I couldn’t believe this season it was shock after shock. I can’t imagine how this is going to end. I can’t handle anymore deaths.

12. Kaguya sama Love is War Season 3

Cute and super funny season. Ishigami had me proud like a mama. Miyuki and Chika’s rap was the best. Kaguya finally admitting to herself she loves Miyuki was so sweet.

13. Tokyo Mew Mew New

Another well done remake. I did watch a few episodes of the original anime when I was a kid. So this was kind of nostalgic to me. The girls are so cute I can’t wait to see more of the remake.

14. Mob Psycho 100 Final

A great ending to Mob. After 3 season it really was a joy and emotional journey to watch Mob Psycho 100. I will miss the crazy animation and deep story so much. Thank you Mob for everything a classic that will always be remembered.

15. More than a married couple, but not lovers

To me this was the vanilla version of Domestic Girlfriends. No step sisters, just a love triangle between a guy, his childhood friend and his marriage partner. So many funny and sweet moments. I do ship Jirou and Akari more.

16. Chainsaw Man

Wild and crazy anime to watch. It felt like I was watching a fever dream. I will be honest it didn’t get me hyped as the manga fans expected. But it was great to watch. It’s only the beginning though I do hope it gets another season.

17. Spy x Family

Funny cute and little suspenseful. It did felt like the Loid and Anya show though I do wish we got to see more of Yor’s assassin work too. The heart warming family moments really did touch my hear. Again family doesn’t always have to mean by blood.

18. Yakuza’s Guide to Babysitting

Another cute and wholesome anime. Kirishima acted more like a big brother to Yaeka who knew a killer yakuza could have a heart. Family doesn’t always have to mean blood.

19. I’m the Villainess, So I’m Taming the Final Boss

Another otome isekai, but it did felt rushed I wished it was more slowed paced. I love Aileen and Claude’s relationship they are so cute. At least they had a happy ending.

20. Shine Post

Such an underrated idol anime. Probably because Love Live was airing around the same time. Love seeing each girl’s reason for being an idol and how much they want to achieve their dream. BTW Rio has the best voice.

HAPPY NEW YEAR SEE YOU IN 2023 !!!!!

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the-rewatch-rewind · 9 months

Text

An old movie with a very relevant name.

Script below the break.

Hello and welcome back to The Rewatch Rewind! My name is Jane, and this is the podcast where I count down my top 40 most frequently rewatched movies over the last 20 years. Today I will be discussing number 14 on my list: MGM’s 1944 psychological thriller Gaslight, directed by George Cukor, written by John Van Druten, Walter Reisch, and John L Balderston, based on the play by Patrick Hamilton, and starring Ingrid Bergman, Charles Boyer, and Joseph Cotten.

So first of all, if you’re thinking, “Gaslight? As in, to deny someone’s reality to the point that they can no longer trust their own perceptions?” then, yes, you’re absolutely correct: this movie (and the play it’s based on and the 1940 British film it’s a remake of) is where that term comes from. So I’m just going to give a blanket content warning for this whole episode: I will be talking a lot about psychological and emotional abuse. This is an incredibly well-made movie, which is why I keep revisiting it, but I recognize that not everybody is in the right place to hear stories about gaslighting, so please, take care of yourself, and skip this episode if you think it’s going to cause you distress.

That being said, I truly have no idea why “gaslighting” suddenly became a popular buzzword in the last 10 years or so, or how it has evolved to be misapplied to any form of lying. I’ve even heard people talk about how someone is “gaslighting” them when they merely disagree about something. So despite how incredibly dark and disturbing this movie is, I really think everyone should watch it, if for no other reason than to learn how to use the term correctly. But there’s obviously a lot more to it than that, which I will get into. But first, my traditional plot summary:

When her aunt and guardian, a famous opera star, is murdered in their London home, young Paula Alquist (Ingrid Bergman) is sent to Italy to train as a singer. Ten years later, she is swept off her feet by her new accompanist, Gregory Anton (Charles Boyer), and after knowing each other only two weeks, they get married. Though she is still haunted by her aunt’s unsolved murder, upon hearing that Gregory has always wanted to live in London, Paula suggests that they move into her old house. As they settle in, Gregory’s behavior gradually changes, and Paula begins to feel like she is losing her mind.

The main thing I remember about the first time I watched this movie was thinking it wasn’t a very good mystery, since it’s pretty obvious fairly early on who the bad guy is. But by the end it became clear that it was never meant to be a mystery, but rather a map of red flags to watch out for, as well as a surprisingly sympathetic portrayal of how easy it can be to ignore them until it’s too late. Or, I guess I should say, almost too late, since, spoiler alert: the movie does have a mostly happy ending. Anyway, I had never seen a movie like this before and it fascinated me. I watched it twice in 2003, once in 2004, once in 2006, once in 2007, twice in 2008, three times in 2012, once in 2013, once in 2014, twice in 2015, twice in 2016, once in 2017, once in 2018, once in 2020, twice in 2021, and once in 2022. I also saw the 1940 version once in 2006. I don’t remember much about it other than I thought it was pretty good, but the remake was better. And a big part of that is because of the cast of the remake. One of my 2015 views of the remake was part of my watching through Best Actress winners project because Ingrid Bergman won the first of her three Oscars for this film. Apparently at the time I ranked this performance as the 7th best to win that award, and now if anything I feel like that was too low. The more I rewatch this movie, the more impressed I am by what a difficult job she had and how thoroughly she crushed it.

Paula is an incredibly complex character who undergoes a significant emotional journey. At the beginning, though she’s definitely still haunted by the trauma of her youth, she’s mostly happy and hopeful and vivacious. And then all of that slowly dims as Gregory’s manipulations escalate, almost as if she is a gas light that he’s turning down. That’s not why the movie is called Gaslight, though; it’s called that because one of the early signs that something sketchy is going on is when Paula starts to notice lights dimming as if someone turned a new light on somewhere else in the house, but nobody else seems to notice this and she can’t find a good explanation for it. But watching Paula go from a lively, lovestruck newlywed to basically a zombie struggling to find a shred of reality she can trust also feels like watching a gas light flame go down. And it would have been so easy to either overdo or undersell this descent into confusion, but Ingrid Bergman perfectly balances every moment. You can see Paula starting to doubt herself more and more as her actions and words become more hesitant and her looks become more vague, until she begins to resign herself to the fact that Gregory must be right, she must be insane, there’s nothing more she can do. It’s so painful and heartbreaking that I desperately want to reach through the screen and comfort her and tell her what’s really going on. And then, just when I almost can’t stand it anymore, Joseph Cotten shows up to do that for me. He plays Inspector Brian Cameron of Scotland Yard, a childhood fan of Paula’s aunt who happens to see Paula one of the few times she’s out with Gregory in London, which leads him to reopen the cold case of her aunt’s murder and figure out what’s going on just in time to help Paula. The implication that Paula needs a man to rescue her is one thing I don’t love about this movie, but at the same time I think it’s important to acknowledge that Gregory was so effective at – for lack of a better term – gaslighting her that she could not have escaped that situation without help.

Not to take any of the credit away from Bergman for her stellar performance, but I do think it helped that George Cukor was the director. Longtime listeners may recognize his name from Holiday, which was number 33 on this list, and Adam’s Rib, which was number 27, both of which have significantly lighter tones. Gaslight feels much more like an Alfred Hitchcock picture than a George Cukor one. Cukor apparently didn’t like being referred to as a “woman’s director,” but he had a reputation for his ability to coax great performances out of actresses, and this is certainly no exception. In order to help Bergman keep track of Paula’s gradual descent toward madness while shooting out of order, Cukor would tell her the whole plot up to the scenes they were filming each day, which Bergman initially resented, but then he stopped doing it for a few days and she realized how helpful it had been, and they went back to doing it that way. I do think Ingrid Bergman would have been great in this role regardless of who the director was, but George Cukor helped elevate her to the best she could possibly be.

While Bergman’s performance is far and away my favorite aspect of this movie, the rest of the cast is also phenomenal, albeit rather small. It definitely has that based-on-a-play feel of limited locations and few characters, although that also works very well with the story. Part of Gregory’s strategy is to cut Paula off from the rest of the world so she won’t have a safety net. Consequently, for most of the film she only interacts with him and their two servants: the kind but mostly-deaf cook, Elizabeth, played by Barbara Everest, and the saucy, flirtatious maid, Nancy, played by none other than 18-year-old Angela Lansbury in her film debut, both of whom are absolutely perfect in their roles. I love Everest’s delivery of “I see just how it is” when Gregory is trying to keep Elizabeth on his side without realizing that she’s always been firmly on Paula’s. And Lansbury embodies the exact attitude required for Nancy: flirtatious toward Gregory, disdainful toward Paula, totally oblivious to how she’s being manipulated until the end – all conveyed with every look she gives and line she speaks as if she’s a veteran actor. It comes as absolutely no surprise that she went on to have such a long and successful career, with this as her first screen performance. She was even nominated for an Oscar! And then there’s the neighbor Miss Thwaites, played by Dame May Whitty, who adds some much-needed levity with her “diggy biscuits” and morbid curiosity about the house in her square where there was a “real murder!” Joseph Cotten’s role is honestly pretty bland – kind of the film noir version of a classic Disney prince, in a way – but he makes the most of it. And then there’s Charles Boyer, giving one of the best creepy villain performances I’ve ever seen, which was also Oscar-nominated. He starts out just sort of vaguely unsettling, raising one or two red flags right off the bat, but like, he could still be okay, and then by the end he is full-on terrifying. He has this amazing stone-faced look that makes your blood run cold. There’s this one moment in particular, kind of toward the middle, when Miss Thwaites and Inspector Cameron (posing as her nephew) have tried to visit them, and Gregory tells Nancy to send them away. Paula wanted to let them in but he freaked out so she backed down, and then after Nancy leaves she again says she wanted to see them, and he’s like, “Oh, why didn’t you say so?” and it makes me want to scream. Then he tells her she didn’t have time to see them because they’re going out to the theater, and Paula’s like, “I didn’t know that…or did I forget?” and Gregory, facing the camera with his back to her, opens his mouth to respond, and then stops and waits for her to dwell on that for a few more seconds before he tells her that no, this is a surprise, and both his face and her face are so perfect there, I love it and hate it so much. Like, I love it from a “this movie is so well acted” perspective, and I hate it from a “this character is a horrible human being” perspective. And then Paula gets overly happy, since she’s been trapped in the house for so long that him letting her go out seems like a wonderful gift. But then he “notices” that a picture is missing from the wall, and makes her think she hid it, and they end up not going out because she’s “too unwell.”

That’s the main way he manipulates her: by moving things and making it look like she took them. What’s particularly interesting about the way the movie shows this is we never actually see Gregory taking any of the things, but it is nevertheless clear that he has been. But he is so insistent that she’s doing it that we can easily believe that Paula wouldn’t suspect him, or that if she did, she would have significant doubts. And even if she did figure it out, it’s not like there’s anything she can do about it. She’s in London for the first time in a decade, she doesn’t know anyone, she doesn’t have anywhere to go, and she’s not sure she can trust her own mind. And I think it’s so important that the movie at no point faults her for ending up in that situation or for not being able to leave. The movie also gives no indication that Gregory is physically harming Paula, but leaves the audience in no doubt that he is an abusive husband. And I feel like the messages that abuse doesn’t have to be physical and that it’s never the victim’s fault are still too rare in media today, let alone nearly 80 years ago. I feel like back then most unhealthy relationships in movies were in the His Girl Friday vein of “they’re kind of both abusing each other so it’s fine” or would find other ways for excusing or explaining the abusive behavior, like “the abuser was drunk” or “the victim was asking for it” or what have you. And if they weren’t like that, the victim usually ended up dead. In Gaslight, Gregory has no excuse. I mean, he does have a reason, but it’s a terrible reason that in no way justifies his actions. And Paula not only survives, but also gets an incredibly satisfying confrontation with Gregory after Brian and another policeman have tied him up. When the police leave them alone together, Gregory pleads with her to get a knife and cut him free, and for a moment you think she’s actually going to help him, but she gets her revenge by pretending she can’t find the knife and saying she’s too insane to help him, forcing him to admit that he has lied to her and she isn’t actually mad. And she wraps up her great payback with: “If I were not mad, I could have helped you. Whatever you had done, I could have pitied and protected you. But because I am mad, I hate you. Because I am mad, I have betrayed you. And because I'm mad, I'm rejoicing in my heart, without a shred of pity, without a shred of regret, watching you go with glory in my heart!” So she turns his gaslighting around on him, and it’s amazing. Although I must admit that right after that when she cries, “Mr. Cameron! Take this man away!” is the one part when I feel like Ingrid Bergman overdoes it just a little bit and gets too melodramatic, but after everything Paula has been through, she deserves as many melodramatic moments as she wants.

I would prefer it if the movie didn’t conclude with the implication that Paula is going to end up romantically involved with Brian, but again, she deserves all the happiness she can get, and if that’s what’s going to make her happy, I’m all for it. And I guess we can claim Miss Thwaites as aroace representation, since she seems to be an old maid with no interest in romance. This movie also speaks to my aromanticism and asexuality in a different, unique way. Because to a certain extent, being aroace in an allonormative, amatonormative society kind of feels like the entire world is gaslighting you. Of course, I don’t mean to imply that my experiences have been anywhere near as horrendous as someone like Paula’s – having your reality cruelly and intentionally twisted by a partner is on an entirely different level from not quite fitting in with the dominant culture’s concept of reality. Still, being constantly bombarded with the message that all mature humans frequently experience sexual and romantic attraction, and that a universal top life goal is to find a partner you’re attracted to that way, when you don’t feel those attractions and don’t desire that kind of partner, is incredibly confusing and disorienting. Once you become an adult, or even a teenager, people start giving you knowing looks when they hear you’ve been hanging out with a friend one-on-one, especially if that friend happens to be of the opposite sex. And you don’t think you like any of your friends “that way” but you also don’t really know what liking someone “that way” feels like so you start to think maybe you don’t know your own feelings. And if you’re lucky, your brain subconsciously decides that you do have crushes like a normal person, they’re just always on movie stars, most of whom are dead, which you realize is weird, but it’s an understandable kind of weird. Nobody believes you when you say you don’t have a crush on anybody, but if you show them a picture of Cary Grant and say, “I have a crush on him,” that makes sense to them. And so you end up becoming convinced that you’re experiencing types of attraction that you’re not, to the point that when you first hear about asexuality you don’t even consider the possibility that it could describe you. And of course, when I say “you” I mean “me”; I can’t speak for all aroaces, although I do think most of us experience some form of that confusion before we figure out that our identity exists. I feel like there’s a relatively widespread perception that aromantic and/or asexual people are just single allos who want to feel special by giving themselves a label, but for me, the opposite is true. Using the aroace label makes me feel less special, because now I know there are other people out there like me, after spending so much time trying to play along with the attraction I thought I was supposed to be feeling. It’s honestly been kind of difficult to unlearn this, to teach myself how to even recognize, let alone trust, what I’m actually feeling versus the socially acceptable way to be feeling about other people.

It’s weird because, looking back, it’s so obvious to me that I was faking crushes, that I was just parroting things I’d heard when I talked about them, that I was just smiling and nodding when people would say things like, “Isn’t that person hot?” But at the time, I absolutely could not admit that, even to myself, because I felt like, in order to be human, I must be experiencing what I’d been led to believe were universal human emotions that went along with sexual and romantic attraction. Back in 2013 I blogged about all the movies I’d seen at least 10 times in 10 years, and I just re-read my post about Gaslight, in which I apparently wrote that I found Joseph Cotten attractive in this movie. I don’t remember thinking or writing that, but I’m sure if I’d been asked to elaborate, I would have said I thought he was hot or whatever, even though I absolutely did not, I just thought I was supposed to. I wasn’t consciously lying; I had become convinced that I felt things I didn’t. Although, now that I think about it, maybe I really was attracted to him, not sexually or romantically, but in terms of the way his character functions in the story. I desperately needed someone to show up and tell me that the problem wasn’t with my mind and provide me with some key information I was missing that would explain what was going on, just like Brian does for Paula. Again, her experience was much more horrifying than mine, but learning that some people are aromantic and asexual, that not feeling those kinds of attraction is perfectly normal for those people, was almost as revelatory to me as learning that her husband killed her aunt and was trying to drive her mad was to Paula. Maybe it sounds like I’m the one being melodramatic now, but I don’t know how else to explain how messed up it is to spend decades convincing yourself and everyone else that you’re feeling things you’re not, and what a relief it is to learn that you were right all along and can finally take the mask off. And that’s why I’ve been focusing so much on looking at movies from an aromantic and asexual perspective on this podcast. Because I don’t want anyone else to go through all that. I want everyone to know that amatonormativity and allonormativity are lies, both because I want people on the aromantic and/or asexual spectrums to understand themselves sooner than I understood myself, and because I want alloromantic, allosexual people to know that not everyone is like them. I don’t blame the allo people I was surrounded with for perpetuating these norms because they didn’t know better. I know they weren’t really trying to gaslight me. But I would like to live in a society where most people do know better.

Anyway, I appreciate this movie for understanding me in ways that I couldn’t articulate until recently. But that’s far from the only reason it’s this high on my list. Again, I truly cannot overemphasize how phenomenal the acting is. Ingrid Bergman was always wonderful, but she took it to a whole other level here, and the rest of the cast were similarly at the top of their game. I never get tired of watching them act together, particularly when I’m in the mood for something a little darker. Like the other Ingrid Bergman movie I talked about, Notorious, I’m not sure whether Gaslight “counts” as film noir, because it has some of the typical noir tropes but lacks other important ones. But from a lighting and cinematography perspective, it definitely feels like a noir, so if you enjoy that style, you’ll probably appreciate this movie. It was nominated for a total of seven Oscars, including Best Picture, Screenplay, and Black-and-White Cinematography, in addition to the three acting nominations I mentioned earlier for Bergman, Boyer, and Lansbury. The only Oscar it won besides Best Actress was for Art Direction, which is something I don’t generally pay a ton of attention to, but the set is particularly important in Gaslight. The house almost functions as a character: it’s Gregory’s accomplice in torturing Paula, and the increasingly cluttered look of the rooms helps emphasize the way it’s trapping her. And, of course, there are the real, vintage gasoliers that give the movie its title and add greatly to its mood. So both of this movie’s Oscars were thoroughly deserved.

Thank you for listening to me discuss another of my most frequently rewatched films. This wraps up the 4-way tie of movies I saw 22 times from 2003 through 2022. I wonder how many other people out there have watched Beauty and the Beast, A Mighty Wind, His Girl Friday, and Gaslight the same number of times in the last 20 years. Anyway, I didn’t watch any movies exactly 23 times, so next up is the only one I watched 24 times, which is also one that I have a LOT of feelings and personal stories about, so stay tuned for what I’m sure will be a particularly long and rambling episode that I hope will be fun to listen to. As always, I will leave you with a quote from that next movie: “I don’t need to act things out in order to write them. I have what we like to call an ‘imagination.’ Have you ever heard of that? Oh, no no no no no, please tell us more about the old man… and the boat.”

#gaslight #ingrid bergman #charles boyer #george cukor #angela lansbury #the rewatch rewind

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quadrant-horror-stories · 2 months

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⛵-My matesprit was taken from me, but I don't have any way to prove it. Warning for mentions of drowning and thalassophobia, I've been holding this one inside for a while.-⚓

⛵-I (violet, 20, 7 at the time) first met this boy (violet, 19, 6 at the time) at an underwater concert, around two sweeps prior to his disappearance. We were seated next to each other, and he was pretty excited, although kind of upset by how loud it was. He spoke to me after the show, complimenting my outfit and asking me what my favorite songs were, and we became friends pretty quickly afterwards. We got each others numbers, started visiting each others hives, and eventually made it officially flushed.-⚓

⛵-My friends and kismesis at the time had a fascination with trenches, and liked to see how deep we could all go before having to swim back up. As a kind of experiment, or...teen dare, or something. He never liked going near deep water. But I...regretful as I am to admit this, I pressured him to follow me anyways. I wanted to spend time with him and my friends didn't want to be held up.-⚓

⛵-I volunteered to go in first, only getting a few feet down before the pressure made my head feel like it was being crushed. We all took turns, each one of us laughing and going deeper than the last, until it was my matesprits turn.-⚓

⛵-I still remember what he did. It's burned into me. I can't explain it any other way, other than that he just...fell. Like his body was being gently tugged under by a rope. We tried to call out to him, to pull him out, but the pressure of the trench was just unbearable for any of us. His eyes were open, he wasn't drowning or struggling, he just...fell.-⚓

⛵-Our friend group tore itself apart after that. None of us could stand to look at each other. I can't say I blame them-⚓

⛵-...The worst part is that I still get messages from him sometimes. He's...alive, claiming that he's still happy and that I shouldn't worry so much. But with every dark, grainy photo he sends, every vaguely-trollian creature he talks about seeing down there and every manic desperate episode he has in my messages begging me to let him out it just makes me wish I could have saved him more.-⚓

⛵-Nobody believes me when I tell them about him. To people who've never met him, it just sounds like another insane conspiracy. And to the people who still speak to him even now, they just...they just see him as a normal person. And it hurts.-⚓

#submission #artesk

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heldhram · 1 year

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15 questions for 15 mutuals

I was tagged by @its-adrienpastel @pleaseputnamehere @agnelid and @neillesimstories thank you all for the tag!

1. Are you named after anyone?

Not that I am aware of. It’s actually uncommon (or even disrespectful, if named after an elderly family member) in our culture to name children after other people so I would be surprised if I was named after anyone.

2. When was the last time you cried?

This is a very good question, I don’t actually know. When you get to your mid-20s I guess you can get fairly easily-triggered emotionally, whether it be a distant but sweet memory that reminds you of good times that will never come back, or a dire realisation of things you will almost never achieve, or even a simple scene from a TV show with that right cue of music (Season 2 last episode of The Marvelous Mrs Maisel when the camera cut to Susie carefully admiring her new blazer whilst Lenny’s “All Alone” moody violin interlude playing in the background being an example) that can send me into a tearful mood.

3. Do you have kids?

No, but I am definitely not against the idea of having kids, unlike what most of my acquaintances would assume of me. Deep down I am a family-person, but in my home country it is still currently illegal for a gay man such as I to adopt kids that is not biologically related to me (I’ll take the dumbest piece of legislation for $500, Alex).

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I am not good with sarcasm at all, let it be online or in person. To be fair, I don’t think I have used sarcasm if at all in real life, but I don’t find it difficult to detect a sarcastic remark at all. Guess when you’re surrounded by enough witty (but kind nevertheless) people you don’t feel the need to contribute any more sarcasm. (This is not sarcasm, if you’re wondering)

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

Not a very sporty person myself. I used to play table tennis with my dad when I was a kid, and then almost 2 decades later at my uni’s student centre. It was so much harder when I was kiddo and I don’t know why. Probably because I hadn’t learned physics yet.

Nowadays I barely do any sports (unless you count jogging), but I’d like to play tennis if my legs aren’t so sore after a day’s shift. Oh, and if I have someone to play with me. I’ll then buy a racquet.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about other people?

The way their facial feature move to produce a warm, heartfelt smile. Also, their fascinating shades of eye colours.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Movies with unexpected endings, preferably unhappy ones. I guess I’m just fed up with conventional, commercialised happy endings to the point where I just wish things could be a bit more down-to-earth and realistic. I prefer fictions that I could relate to on a personal level, and that’s probably why I’ve not seen any good movies/TV shows for a while. That being said, I adore Netflix’s mini-series Maid.

8. Any special talents?

Imitating accents, (and according to my acquaintances and relatives) melodious, multitasking, memorising useless things like what happened years ago on a special occasion, listening to the same song/music on loop and not getting sick of them for 1 year.

9. Where were you born?

Taiwan, a beautiful subtropical island polluted by fugly buildings.

10. What are your hobbies?

Playing the guitar, modding Skyrim/Fallout 4 to my own liking, learning languages, baking. Oh, and browsing memes.

11. Do you have any pets?

I would love to adopt a dog from the local shelter if I’m not moving so frequently between countries. I’ve never really had a pet before, and I’m so jealous of people who get to grow up with one.

12. How tall are you?

186cm (~ 6 feet 1)

13. Fave subject in school?

Chemistry (my fave), Biology, Geography, English (the only subject at school I could pass with flying colours without studying at all, so I like it)

14. Dream job?

Not any specific occupation, but rather a concept: An ideal job for me would be the one where I get to utilise the knowledge I gained from formal education, enriched by real-life experiences/lessons, guided by self-reflection and personal growth, that allows me to give back to the community from which I benefited, and to motivate people to improve themselves physically and mentally.

15. Eye colour?

Dark, dark brown

I feel like most of the mutuals of mine have already done this, so I’m not tagging anyone else. If you’d like to do this, please consider yourself tagged and have fun :)

#non-sims #heldhram answers #saviorhide #text not related to pic #long text warning #thanks for tagging me :)

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theowritesfiction · 1 year

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‘The Puppetmaster’

Obviously, as a Katara centric episode I love it, even if it's not at all happy for Katara. Also, it's the closest to horror that this show ever gets, and especially for a kid's show, this was pretty damn metal. The group exchanging spooky stories over a campfire set a really nice tone to the whole episode. Also, Katara definitely has a talent for telling scary stories.

The whole introduction of Hama and the setup of the mystery is just so well done here. Also, I notice that Sokka has completely stopped complaining about the schedule... that was just something for 'The Painted Lady' episode, which was very strange. The double fake-out with Sokka becoming suspicious with Hama right away, and the Gaang discovering her secret... but not realizing that she has more than one secret? Yeah, that was very nicely done.

I'm going to give Aang 20 more Jerk Points for his continued disrespect of Water Tribe culture and cuisine. Take that.

Of course, seeing Katara develop this kind of bond with Hama and becoming so trusting of her was a red flag, but I remember how on my first watch of this episode I really hoped to be wrong about where this was heading. Katara's compassion for Hama and her willingness to learn... I kind of hate the cruel path the episode took. It was like seeing Katara's heartbreak a mile away and not being able to stop it.

Hama's backstory is obviously horrific. She has been in the Fire Nation for 60 years, which is just crazy to think about. The conditions of Hama's imprisonment are some of the worst I have seen or read about in either history books or fiction. (Also, they are pretty much copied by the supposedly 'good' guys, the White Lotus in LoK, go figure) I can't help but admire Hama for her discovery and development of bloodbending. I know we're supposed to be horrified by it, but as someone who loves playing Blood Mage in Dragon Age, I have always been fascinated by this creepy and terrifying concept. Sorry but not sorry for thinking bloodbending is cool.

I'm really not a fan of the creative writing decision to have Hama wreak her revenge on innocent Fire Nation villagers. I think twisting her into this kind of evil monster felt unnecessary and wrong. I think it would have been far more understandable and realistic if she had been terrorizing Fire Nation soldiers, maybe in some nearby military outpost or soldiers on shore leave. Although I understand it would have been harder to set up - or make the Gaang care. And like... is the whole idea of the persecuted becoming the persecutor as soon as they are given the least amount of power unrealistic? Not at all. I've been listening to a podcast about the French Revolution, and this sort of thing happened all the time, resulting in bloody purges with every regime change. But still, I feel like they didn't have to push it so far with Hama, I mean they made her look absolutely deranged evil at the end, I mean just look at this shot, it's so ridiculously over the top.

Hama looks more dehumanized here than they ever showed Ozai to be, and that's just fucked up.

Still, Katara defeating Hama without having to resort to bloodbending was another epic Katara moment. And sure, Katara is forced into using bloodbending and she's horrified by it, but... eh, to me Katara being a bloodbender just makes her even cooler <3

So, do I give Hama Jerk Points for all the horrible things she ended up doing in this episode? I feel like I should, but at the same time I am reluctant to do so. I would feel better giving those points to the writer of this episode. Also, Hama is only ever in this one episode anyway. It doesn't really matter if I give her points or not. :)

Jerk Points for Book 3:

Zuko - 410 Aang – 190 Roku - 100 Hide, Sokka - 80 King Kuei - 60 Toph - 50

#my atla rewatch #atla book 3 #the puppetmaster

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nicoleanell · 6 months

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DEAR FESTIVIDDER,

Welcome and thank you in advance!! As I say every year (or every-other-year when I partcipate) these are just some thoughts, but feel free to focus on different characters/storylines/etc. I'm excited to see anything you're inspired to make from the sources below!

I also tagged all the fandoms so you can see how often I reblog stuff about them, consider it a vidding vision board. :D

If you're checking out any of these sources for the first time, content warning for some blood/gore in Renfield (played for comedy) and blood, jumpscares, animal death in Midnight Mass.

Film (Safety)

Renfield (2023) - Listen. Cinema peaked when Robert Montague Renfield decorated his little apartment in bright '70s colors and kitty cat bedsheets to Lizzo, and then peaked a second time when Ben Schwartz snorted a centipede. This movie is bloody camp nonsense but somehow also an earnest abuse recovery/revenge fantasy, and it gave me Emotions and a crush on Nicholas Hoult. His giant sad eyes and self-empowerment arc mean the world to me.

Television

Abbott Elementary - Wholesome sitcom in the vein of Parks & Rec following teachers in a Philadelphia elementary school (as a child of two public school teachers it hits close to my heart). I'd kinda like to see an Ava vid, she's so entertainingly terrible but then has great moments of growth as well. Or one centered on Janine, Janine/Gregory, or just any kind of fun ensemble thing!

The Afterparty - Murder mystery comedy with the twist that each episode, a character gives their version of events in the style of different genre parodies. Honestly I'd be fine with just a season 1 vid because I liked it more than season 2. (With the exception of S2 giving me the Sapphic Wes Anderson Movie of my dreams.) S1 had just about a perfect ensemble (Yasper being a highlight) and great execution of the Rashomon-style premise.

The Bear - Drama/dramedy set in the chaotic back-of-house world of a Chicago restaurant. I love how real the environment, relationships, and characters of this show feel. I adore Ayo Edebiri so I'd especially like a vid centered on Sydney, her ambitions and anxiety and passion, but again anything that inspires you about the show would make me happy! I love everyone in this dysfunctional restaurant fam. I don't really ship Syd with Carmy so I'd prefer not an explicitly romancey vid.

Midnight Mass - There's a venn diagram between Catholic Trauma and Vampires that Mike Flanagan seemed to crack like nobody else ever has lol. After Hill House (which I got an incredible vid for a couple years ago) this is my favorite of his horror-drama miniseries, I really love the mood and themes it explores about faith/religion a source of both comfort and harm. Pretty much a "do whatever you want with this source" request!

Web Series/Internet Content

Dimension 20 - There's a lot of source here and even I haven't made it through all the older intrepid heroes campaigns yet (not to mention all the side quests). I've basically seen everything from A Court of Fey and Flowers onward. Favorites include Neverafter, A Crown of Candy, and I'm really enjoying the current Burrow's End series. But honestly if there's any season or mini-season or general vibe YOU especially love and would like to focus on, feel free to do so! And if you want to incorporate stuff like art, minis, fan sources, or just rely on the player dynamics, go for it. I love basically everybody but special shout-out to Lou Wilson.

Amaury Guichon (the chocolate guy) (Youtube/Tiktok/he also had a Netflix show) - Guichon is a French-Swiss pastry chef known for making elaborate, edible chocolate sculptures, and posting usually wordless montage videos of his process. I'm just kinda curious what a Chocolate Guy vid would look like! Watching his videos and the work that goes into each piece is so fascinating, and he has a really charming and pleasant vibe. Love the technical skill, the commitment to the bit, and the fact they often look like they taste good on top of it!

#festivids #chef amaury #dimension 20 #midnight mass #the bear #the afterparty #renfield #abbott elementary

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ghostlandtoo · 1 year

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what a stupid fucking show. lol.

like, i won't argue that tlou ep3 was a well-written episode and etc and etc, but it's becoming blatantly obvious to me that the writers and druckmann are diverging heavily from joel and ellie's characterization in a way that feels really fucking bad.

in the first thirty minutes of the game, joel and tess kill 20 guys in the QZ out of revenge. in the first episode, robert and his gang is killed off screen, by fireflies, and the most violence is joel beating a FEDRA agent with the insinuation that it's a PTSD reaction. it feels like joel is being defanged, turning less violent so the audience feels more sympathetic to him. i'm waiting for the pittsburgh episode to see how they really write him, like maybe his capacity for violence is supposed to be heightened because of that stupid fucking letter from bill, but it's undercutting the natural progression of his character and his feelings towards ellie.

and christ, fucking ellie. it was EXTREMELY weird how fascinated she was by joel beating up that FEDRA agent. (in the game she's surprised when joel and tess kill the ones who caught them outside the QZ, saying "i thought we were just going to hold them up!") and when she finds the infected in the cellar, and cuts it just to see it bleed before she kills it, like she has a weird fascination with violence and gore, doesn't sit well. ellie is fascinated with the outside world and maybe she's a little naive, but she only resorted to violence when it was immediately necessary. as a contrast of joel being less clint eastwood, ellie is more morbid, which also fucking undercuts the moments she lashes out (in the pittsburgh hotel to save joel's life, against david, etc).

i'm happy that people liked bill and frank's relationship. the main loss in this episode are the funny ellie and bill quips, and the intense fight in the high school. but the difference between Game Bill telling joel:

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time I had someone I cared about. It was a partner. Somebody I had to look after. And in this world that sort of shit's good for one thing: gettin' ya killed. So, you know what I did? I wisened the fuck up. And I realized it's gotta be just me.

and Show Bill leaving this message to joel:

i used to hate the world and i was happy when every one died. but i was wrong, because there was one person worth saving. that's what i did. i saved him. then i protected him. that’s why men like you and i are here. we have a job to do. and god help any motherfuckers who stand in our way.

it's such a weird way to foreshadow the end of the game and joel never needed any one to tell him what to do. he's adamant about never comparing ellie and sarah, because he never does. how joel feels towards ellie naturally progresses through the game, from being an obligation to the memory of tess, to someone he cares so much about that he can't trust himself with her safety, to securing her safety and the highest fucking cost (their relationship). it's disingenuous to the character of joel and his own motivations.

i don't believe that derivative works must remain 100% faithful to the source material. but i do feel genuinely crazy watching this show, and people's reactions to the show and its character choices, and feeling like the odd man out for questioning why these specific changes were made.

but ultimately, one of my biggest fucking gripes about the old man yaoi and their happy (to a certain sense of the word) ending, this ending they get in this show but not in the game, is that ellie isn't going to get that. ellie and riley and cat and dina, they can't get this happy and loving relationship because the story they are in won't let them. ellie was one of the first lesbian characters i immediately and strongly identified with, even before i knew she was a lesbian, and the series is a fucking tragedy and i'm glad bill and frank got their happy ending together, but i know the lesbian and bisexual women won't get that.

the last of us isn't a happy game or series. most moments of joy and immediately undercut by tragedy. ellie tries again and again to bring levity to the environment, but it can't last. and to see her lose a fundamental part of her character, the part fascinated with the outside world, with an urge to do good, feels bad.

#etxt #sorry if u liked it im just a hater

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lovecolibri · 2 years

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RNM has spent more time pointlessly physically separating Malex in the seasons they've been happy than they ever have when they were constantly being traumatized, and it isn't even trying to write for Alex now that he's no longer being tortured by Jesse. That is... loud. Even if ultimately something good comes out of the kidnapping, it's screentime Malex should spend thriving, and Alex should be able to exist as a valued member in the group and as Michael's boyfriend with friends of his own instead of constantly being stashed away in bunkers and his house and us hoping more than one person will be allowed to be worried about him when people realize he's missing.

I don't know if the actual screentime minutes they share would confirm this, but it FEELS that way, and that's what matters. Also the fact that Alex was tied to the Manes family, Caulfield, had a close friendship with Rosa, worked on a machine engineered by Michael's mom and tampered with by his dad at an organization that had *something* to do with whatever TF was going on in season 2 (that's when DS is first mentioned), and with ALL his skills and knowledge and connections to the group he is STILL being shut out of almost everything and his POV is almost never seen is my villain origin story. Deep Sky and the Lockhart Machine had SO much potential to be fascinating but then they decided DS doesn't even actually know about aliens (but sure it's tooootally safe to do all their alien research there because they know the director), and the Lockhart Machine got ONE (1) good episode focused on Alex but we wasted HALF of 3x08 (I think m*ria got like, 20 minutes of screentime?!) getting info about the machine that Alex already access to and we should have seen HIM getting it!

The fact that he has AGAIN disappeared and no one has noticed because despite him being worried Michael would feel abandoned AND the fact that him going away lead to him being kidnapped once before but yet he didn’t set up a check in schedule with Michael is absurd. We should have spent the whole last episode with Michael being antsy that he hadn’t heard from Alex and trying to play it cool because he doesn’t want to seem “needy” because that’s actually on brand for him! And we could get him talking to other people about Alex! Though he does get to bring Alex up with Dallas every once in awhile which has been nice.

And Alex, Alex just isn’t allowed to talk to anyone about Michael, and their relationship ever and that’s IF he even gets to have scenes with other people despite being one of the more interesting characters deeply connected to the major storylines. It’s ridiculous!

And yeah, even if something good comes out of THIS kidnapping, it’s already been played out, badly, in season 2 so no one has the patience to deal with it a second time, especially with him just disappearing from the narrative because no one can talk about characters who aren’t there (HOW IS MY GIRL ROSA DOING?! WHO KNOWS?! NOT FUCKING US).

For making Alex and Kyle two of the characters most deeply connected to the main plots they sure have been kept out of a lot, but thank goodness they came up with some dumbass way to include m*ria by suddenly making her an alien in season 2 (after confirming she had NO alien markers in season 1) because they got flack for her being useless. 🙄🙄🙄

#my sweet nonnie friends #roswell nm #roswell spoilers #roswell nm my behated #alex manes #anti maria deluca

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russetfur1128 · 1 year

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So I had a really cool dream last night. It was framed like a cartoon series rather than just a dream. There was a villain and everything.

There's this girl who has somehow traveled back in time to the time of the dinosaurs and gotten stuck there. She doesn't remember how she got there or who she used to be. However, she is accepted into a family of triceratops as one of their own and spends quite a few years there. All she has left of her previous life is a purse and its contents (I don't remember what was inside, but it was important to her)

One day there's a flood that separates the family, and the mother dinosaur and the girl have to try and find the rest of the family.

They end up coming across another human and chase her down, only to discover a secret train that can travel through time. The lady explains that the train can take you to the next stop, but to get to the girl's time (2034) it will take many stops and a lot of money. The lady gives the girl the fee to ride (a quarter) and the girl got on. The mother dinosaur wished her luck and told the girl that she had to stay and find her mate and son. The girl was sad, but accepted this.

Then, something bad happened and caused the mother to be forced onto the train just as it left. The lady is rude about it, and says how badly a dinosaur would stick out. The girl defends the mother and tells the woman that she doesn't have to help them, but the woman tells her that they don't know the first thing about time travel, so she kinda has to.

They get transported to a time with ancient farmers and hijinks ensue while trying to keep the dinosaur hidden. Then once they get settled on their own farm, things become much easier. Suddenly the mother seems to get sick and begins to look worse and worse. The girl gets worried and talks to the woman, who just tells her that she had told her that bringing a dinosaur along was a bad idea. However, it turns out that those who know of the trains existence, gain the ability to change to fit in with the time they are in. So the mother wasn't sick, she was just slowly becoming a cow to fit into the time period.

Eventually, they get on the next train and get transported to new York in the 20s. The woman tells the girl and the mother that they can ask the conductor the time of the next trains, but warns that some trains will take you to different places. They thank the woman before heading off.

The mother now appears human and is fascinated by this. She gets into trouble because she keeps trying to do human things, but not fully understanding how to be human.

I don't remember much of the middle of my dream, but I do remember that it was episodic and showed the mother slowly learning how to be human and that each "episode" took place in a different big city and had an "animation" style to match the time period.

Eventually, they reach the girl's time, and they sadly part ways. The mother ends up discovering what happened to the dinosaurs and becomes very depressed, while the girl starts to figure out her history.

One day, the girl decides to check on the mother to see how she is doing, only to find her living in an abandoned lighthouse as a cat lady. The girl vows to go back and get the rest of the family to make her happy again.

The girl explains to her friends about the train and what she planned to do, and they didn't believe her, but promised to help get quarters to help anyway. Once she got enough money, she went all the way back to the time of the dinosaurs to find the rest of the family.

The rest of my dream was a montage version of before, where the father and son slowly figure out how to be human, reuniting the family, and defeating the big bad by sending him back in time. I don't really remember it all that well, but it was a good dream.

#dream #dreams

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lonelier-version-of-you · 2 years

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About to rewatch S20E10 “Square One”. If I recall correctly this ep is the first time John loses a trial patient, so that should be interesting.

Edit 1: Oh Zav I miss you.

Edit 2: John on his iconic dictaphone. Also watching these episodes knowing what the 8th Doctor’s TARDIS looks like, I’m convinced the whole luminous blue vibe of John’s lab was an intentional shoutout to it.

Edit 3: I love this little Donna and Serena scene.

Edit 4: I really do love me some good morally ambiguous John content. They should’ve kept him this way, it was a lot more interesting than the supervillain direction they took him in.

Also Jac high on pain meds and actually being happy and friendly for once is hilarious.

And, a line from Fletch: “Have I stepped into a parallel Darwin?” Nah, Fletch, the parallel Darwin came later, in 2021 when Sahira was suddenly Henrik’s childhood friend for some reason.

Edit 5: We went from a Zav scene to a Jason scene just now. What a downgrade.

Also, gah, Jason: “Prison should be for bad, dangerous people, not good people like Ric who are just doing their best!” WHY DOES HE TALK LIKE A 5 YEAR OLD IT’S SO ANNOYING. I know we autistics tend to have different speech patterns but the way to write that is not to write dialogue on literally the same level you’d write dialogue for a neurotypical child character.

Edit 6: I love Roxanna’s blouse in this ep.

Edit 7: Absolute legend Ken Davies is back! I’d forgotten he was in this ep!

Edit 8: Jac is so fucking beautiful. She literally looks like a goddess or something.

Edit 9: John was SO blatantly severely mentally ill the whole time why did no one intervene??

Also lol @ Ollie joking about his lack of motor skills to Lofty the dyspraxic man.

Edit 10: When Jac said “it’s miraculous what a full 5 hours’ kip can do for you” I felt that.

Edit 11: I actually agree with Serena on something for once - the ‘Ric in prison’ storyline WAS “utter madness”.

Edit 12: The Rox and John dynamic was really fascinating. Also, John’s body language is VERY Henrik-esque in this episode.

And why does John talk like me? “There’s been no improvement, alas!” 😂

Edit 13: This episode is Jason in his 5-year-old era and not in a realistic developmental delay way (look at someone like Chantelle, she was autistic coded and “childish” but wasn’t written like an actual child) but in a ableist writing way.

Edit 14: ZAV!! I love his outfit in this ep. Also, it’s truly amazing how much character development he had when he was only on the show for 2 years.

Edit 15: Interesting dialogue. Rox: “I would err on the side of caution.” John: “You always do.”

Edit 16: Love the Jac and Ken banter. “I did the best I could, but despite my efforts, you pulled through.”

Edit 17: Rosie Marcel is SO good.

Edit 18: Zav was such an asshole when he first started out.

Edit 19: John on the dictaphone again!

Edit 20: John’s despair about the trial failing reads differently looking back after the later reveal that it was all about trying to save Lana.

Also, him lying to Essie and saying the implant didn’t fail... oof.

Edit 21: Very visible anxious stimming from John when his patient goes into arrest.

Also fuck I basically stole this scene for my one unfinished fanfic without remembering. I hope everyone thinks it was a deliberate parallel lmao.

Edit 22: I think the patient’s mum is doing a guest-character-speaking-for-staff member moment when she’s talking about the trial to John: “I didn’t think of the risks.”

Edit 23: Paul McGann is an INCREDIBLE actor.

Edit 24: John not wanting to bother Henrik by calling him about the Medical Director job :’))

Also, funny thing is, when John said he just wants what’s best for his patients I do believe he genuinely thought that.

Edit 25: HENRIK

Edit 26: “Meetings, paperwork... hardly John’s field of expertise, is it?” Lmaooo

Edit 27: I love early John with the curly hair.

Edit 28: John is very very good at manipulating people, whether he’s using it for good (as he is in this case - seeking the Medical Director job and talking Serena into giving it to him so he can help Roxanna fight for the TMS for Ollie) or not. One has to think Henrik picked up some techniques from him. I mean, the Henrik we saw in the flashback episode couldn’t manipulate anyone if he tried, I don’t think.

Edit 29: Lofty saying he’s not like Isaac aged poorly :(

Edit 30: Zav showing a moment of tenderness towards Nicky.

Edit 31: John on Henrik: “He’s like the rest of us. Lost without a stethoscope.”

Edit 32: Serena saying she’d cheerfully hand Gaskell the CEO job. That’s so fucking funny in hindsight of how John turned out.

#gaskell rewatch liveblog

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