The way we could have had a whole season of Alex communicating with Michael through flashing lights and ringing bells, seeing Michael having one-sided arguments with Alex where you can *feel* his sass, Michael quietly whispering how he misses Alex and he's working so hard to get him home, Bonnie making a pass at Michael and something exploding nearby, and then Michael going frantic when the lights and stuff suddenly go crazy and then quit and Alex stops answering....like, we could have ABSOLUTELY still had so much Malex/Alex in feeling and in spirit without Tyler being there if he was unable to film. Vlamis would have absolutely sold it, (as would Trevino and Jeanine because we should have had the science bros all 3 working together), and it would have kept Alex in the center of the story, and SHOWN us Michael thinking about him all the time, so WHEN something happens, the fear and panic feel more genuine for the character, but also the audience because we would have seen them working together every step of the way.

I just...HOW do you have cosmic soulmates who are so desperate to be together, who are aching to not be separated even for a week or two, have one of them get kidnapped which is what angsty dreams are made of, and then bungle it THIS BADLY? Like, you have to WORK to undercut the narrative this hard, meaning it was an active choice to sideline Alex/Malex from the story.

Thank god for those cropped stills because they are the REAL stills 😂 not me ignoring who else is in the second photo or focusing on the first one because I want them to exchange the bandanna and ring as a promise that this is their time. Maybe I'll get to finishing the mind scape part of my other spite fic!

Okay, no you know what? I’m not done. Because I’m already seeing people slamming Alex stans and saying that the show at least “supported” Tyler during this time and while yeah, he wasn’t fired and written off the show if you think his time off came with no repercussions you haven’t been paying attention. 

The character that he loved and felt so connected to and was so excited to play, got put in a hole in the ground and forgotten about. His soulmate wasn’t even allowed to miss him, or notice he was gone 90% of the time and spent all his scenes with the new girl who kissed him, or his ex, putting their feet up and chilling. Alex wasn’t even allowed to reach out to his cosmic soulmate!! He had to reach out to Michael’s ex, the woman who literally came between them while since season 1 Tyler’s character has not ever been allowed to be hurt or angry about any of that. 

His “friends” didn’t notice he was missing and weren’t allowed to be worried about him either, just called to leave snappy voicemails about him not being there to support THEM when they needed something, and when they DID figure out he was gone, they plotted to keep it from Michael, and when that didn’t work, they actively kept Michael from going after Alex in mean and manipulative ways.

 His brothers and mom as far as we know weren’t even told that Alex was missing despite m*ria supposedly still being on speaking terms with her boyfriend Greg.

Tyler poured his heart into this character and this love story and when he was unable to be there, you know Vlamis had his back and would have carried the Malex storyline for both of them, happily! We know he can do glassy eyes over inanimate objects, we know he can deliver feral Michael, we know he can banter with thin air and make us believe he’s having a conversation with “ghost” Alex. But instead of honoring this character and this love story, the character and love story (and fans) were punished with this mess.

Yes, Tyler was unable to be on set and good for him for negotiating his contract to take care of himself. This has never been about him. Remember when I said the emotional beats were big enough that the writers would have to hit some of them by accident and it felt almost purposeful because they had to work to miss all those beats so hard? I hate being right. 

So m*ria knew Alex was against marriage but never let go of wanting to marry him herself huh?

This whole scene is so disgusting. Alex not even being allowed a SINGLE family member to be there, after Greg stood between Michael and Jesse's gun because he knew how important Michael was to Alex, and eventually killing Jesse to keep them safe. But thank fucking christ m*ria isn't inconvenienced about Alex's LITERAL BROTHER COMING TO HIS WEDDING because it might interfere with her hopping on some new dick. Way to make everything about m*ria instead of ALEX.

He has to fucking support this woman saying ON HIS WEDDING DAY that she's relieved the man who saved him and Michael so they could even GET here wasn't coming because she wants to break up with him and hasn't had the balls to do it for over SIX MONTHS. Even here, even now, Alex is not allowed the grace to be upset or hurt by her terrible actions and attitude. What a fucking slap in the face to Alex as a character and the fans.

"But they couldn't get the actor for Gre-" I DON'T FUCKING CARE. Take that time to have Alex and Kyle have a heart-to-heart and him thank KYLE for being the stand-in when his brother couldn't make it. BAM. 100000% less disgusting.

Friendly reminder that Tyler's health has never been any of our business and his physical availability to film has not been the issue with this season. It has ALWAYS been an issue with the writing and instead of honoring Alex's character and Malex's love story when Tyler was unable to be there, they stuck Alex in a hole and refused to let Michael care about or go after him after he found out where Alex was (like what if they just...didn't find the quicksand and we got Michael searching for Alex, or saw the parts with him putting things in the hole and not being able to pull them back. So many different options!). Alex missing sucked of course but Tyler's health is more important and no one has argued that this whole time. However, if they had done this storyline justice, it wouldn't have felt so much like Alex and Malex getting sidelined.

People out here really saying m*ria is Alex's best friend and not everything about Alex has to be about Michael when the show has literally never shown m*ria doing anything for Alex or being his friend in any way, quite the opposite really, and has REFUSED to let Alex have/do/be anything outside of Michael for AGES.

Alex fans have been BEGGING to focus on Alex outside of the Malex dynamic since the show started HOWEVER this particular storyline should be about Malex! It should be about their cosmic connection and fighting to get back to each other and putting Michael's ex into the middle of was a shit choice! Having the 2 people looking for him be a character he has not shared a scene with, and the woman who looked him in the face and said she knew what Michael meant to him and then turned around and pursued Michael anyways while manipulating Alex and preying on his trauma at every turn, is a SHITTY WRITING CHOICE.

It undercuts the Malex soulmates story, it undercuts their importance to each other, and NO ONE would be okay with this if it was happening to Echo but Malex fans are just being difficult and need to stop making everything in Alex's life about Michael?! Please.

These reviews continue to deliver nothing but truth bombs.

Alas, we need to keep in mind that there are two separate issues. The first is fans missing Alex. The second is everyone missing a good story.

Alex’s absence did not cause the terrible writing, the incoherent plot, the overly packed narrative, or any of the other issues that have occurred. All you have to do is look back over the show’s history to know that these problems have always existed.

There was absolutely a way to make Alex a part of the show without the audience seeing him. It also would have tightened up the writing by giving the narrative more coherence and making room for better character arcs.

Alex’s disappearance should have been all Michael, all the time. It could have gone like this: We take the not seen sex to the bedroom and make it seen. Michael “all impulse” Guerin in the throes of passion puts a handprint on Alex. It would be the queer version of Liz being thrown into a bookshelf or Maria knocking down a painting. Now, Michael and Alex are connected. Alex gets sucked into the alien sandpit. He’s distressed. He’s scared. He’s confused. Michael feeling this rush of emotions collapses. Michael becomes possessed with finding Alex. He spends hours, days in his lair. Alex finds a way to communicate with him, growing Michael’s obsession. He feels, through the connection left by the print, Alex getting weak. Michael feels the sickness coursing through his body, and then he realizes that Alex is dying. Michael is now frantic. We then pick up with Kyle and Michael finding a way into the portal, and Michael entering.

This didn’t happen because the writers have never known what to do with Maria, so they toss her leftovers or storylines that rightfully belong in the hands of another character or worse yet give her a plot that adds little to the season’s overall narrative. It also didn’t happen because the show was full to the brim with guest stars.

***

With only two episodes left, the writers decided to pack a proposal into the episode. They’ve wasted tons of time, so now there is truly no time to waste. Michael accepts Alex’s proposal and let’s it be known that’s he’s so in love with Alex that it’s embarrassing. No, what’s embarrassing is that this show wasted so many season not taking advantage of the chemistry these two generate. These two deserve the proposal and their happy ending, but I'm still peeved that it was rushed.

Do we think they’ll get married in the pocket dimension?...I’m of two minds. Mind the first: Their crap friends don’t deserve invites to the wedding. Mind the second: Unless you subscribe to anarchy, the marriage isn’t legal until you sign the certificate, so sure go ahead, get married in the upside down.

The proposal and almost-not quite celebration sex is interrupted by Alex confessing that he’s dying of radiation poisoning. And this was the moment when all I could do was chuckle and shake my head in disgust. Not because I was surprised, but because Alex remains the writers’ favorite punching bag. I mean, Liz vapes alien mist and gets a Wild West adventure; Alex does his job and gets radiation poisoning. Similar.

***

One would think Michael and Alex could have their reunion moment without any intrusions...Sadly, the writers decided to slap the ice cream out of viewers hands by dragging Maria into the conversation. Even when we don’t see Maria, we have to hear about Maria. Apparently, she created something. The words Alex spoke were 93% too made up for me to follow.

***

I’m highly amused that Max and Michael have been traipsing around Roswell with the mark of Ophicius etched on their bodies. We basically have a situation where someone sees a cool letter or symbol from a language they don’t speak only to discover their new tattoo says ‘dead chipmunk sex is the best sex.”

***

I’ve decided not to ask how Clyde knows everything because then I’d have to ask about the burned grove of trees. It’s another moment where you stop and wonder how writing can be this awful. I mean think about it. Alex saw the trees and then someone burned the trees. Whomst’d burned the trees?...Do we really have time for another mystery or will this simply be an illogical complication for the sake of adding just one more complication? I dare say we know the answer, but I’m willing to be proven wrong.

***

Roswell, New Mexico is the psychological equivalent of believing you’ve caught Santa coming down the chimney only to discover it’s the clown from Poltergeist gnawing on a bloody reindeer leg. You can’t unsee it. You can’t forget it. And in your heart of hearts, you knew the moment was too good to be true. It was never going to be Santa. It was always going to be a bloody nightmare.

My prediction for the remaining episodes is Malex reunites in 4x11 which will probably be the only other episode M*ria misses this season. The show will still somehow find a way to make it about her and none of the emotional beats will land. I hate it here.

You think they'll have her miss the episode where Malex reunites? You're far more optimistic than I. My prediction is that she's there and serves as the conduit for Michael to save Alex and nearly dies herself so they all have to fawn over her and her amazing, and saintly sacrifice. 🙃

Alex: *has been missing since 4x02*

Liz: *inhales some pod mist* *4x09 becomes the "Avengers assembling to come together for one common goal” episode*

Us:

Alex, still in the goddamn hole waiting for everyone to save Liz so they can remember he exists:

“No one has heard from Dallas or Bonnie since yesterday”

Okay but it's also SO insulting that after Vlamis especially went to bat so hard for Malex, the show just...hung him out to dry this season. They have him getting kissed by another woman and spending all his time with his ex in Alex's house, they have Alex reaching out to her instead of Michael, and then they cut scenes of Michael caring and worrying about Alex making it look like Michael doesn't care that much and Vlamis is hyping people up for nothing. It's so disrespectful when he and Jeanine did so much of the legwork promoting and hyping the show, much better than ANY of the official accounts did, only to barely remember Liz is supposed to be the lead, when they do she is nearly unrecognizable, and leaving Vlamis to promote a final season that was supposed to be Malex boyfriends era by writing a character who is barely allowed to remember his bf exists for 6 episodes and then has to apologize for his sense of urgency about saving Alex and stop doing that to help everyone else save Liz.

I know Vlaims isn’t going to make a reputation as someone who trash-talks the shows he works on, especially not the one that gave him a big break, and that’s totally fair! It’s a job and he hustled his ASS off to get the most of of this exposure. But I would loooooove to hear his thoughts at some point.

"This episode is for the Malex fans!"

Imagine having a group with a doctor who also learned alien anatomy and healthcare on the fly, and 2 geniuses, one who can also fix/build anything and one with multiple degrees, and saying that the woman who basically told a guy to save her or die trying before she threw herself off the roof of a building in broad daylight where anyone could see him saving her, is the "smart” one in the group.

The only reason Alex is reaching out to her instead of his actual best friend Kyle or , ya know, the love of his fucking life that he has a cosmic connection with (the pieces want to be together, remember?), is because without that there would be nothing for m*ria to do because her character is and always has been superfluous to this story. Sorry the writers suck at their jobs, but I’m not going to kiss their asses for ruining everyone else’s stories to try and figure out something for her to do.

"The feather floating in the air? Alex is an ariman!"

Also, that woman has canonically not given a single fuck about Alex since she decided to pursue Michael while knowing Alex was still in love and feeling hopeful about things, so to 3 full seasons later try and tell me that he would reach out to her instead of his LIVE IN BOYFRIEND AND SOULMATE is insulting beyond belief

Lol at the RNM socials asking where the Malex fans are and to watch tonight like the last time they promoted an episode "for the Malex fans" we didn't get slapped in the face with m*luca-lite and m*ria in the middle of every supposedly "Malex" moment while not even getting a glimpse of Alex. 🙄 I mean, I hope we get Alex back too but their whole attitude this season is Not It.

So knowing what the synopsis for 4x12 says and all the "I don't want to be a taker" stuff, I'm wondering if Bonnie sacrifices herself or something to help Michael, Alex, and Dallas get out. But also like, who cares? She's a side character who took away people's powers so they couldn't fight the dictator trying to suppress and murder them, but they don't like to talk about that, she's just supposed to be some bright-eyed, bushy-tailed baby so her sacrifice wouldn't feel like a redemption either like it might if it was Tezca.

If I'm gonna see anyone wailing over a corpse I'd want it to be main characters! BUT after not seeing Alex for at least TEN WEEKS by the time 4x11 rolls around, IF he's even in that, I'm not sure how satisfying it would be if it was him that died and needed to be resurrected. And Michael quite frankly was forced to spend so much of this season not noticing Alex was missing and chilling with his ex, that it wouldn't feel right having Alex crying over his body after being left for days so Michael could talk to m*ria about saving him rather than going out to the desert to run tests on the sinkhole the second people stopped guilting him about leaving.

Because the rest of the season has been so badly executed, nothing they can pull off in these last 3 episodes is going to hit any of the right emotional beats 🤷🏻‍♀️