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canonicallyobserving911 · 9 months

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9-1-1 Season 6 - Constructive Criticisms #14

Edmundo “Eddie” Diaz

DISCLAIMER: THERE ARE THREE SEPARATE POSTS ABOUT BUCK, EDDIE, CHRIS AND BUDDIE. The reason for this is because there was a lot of information to cover and the attempt to combine it into a single post, like those completed for the other main characters and ‘ships’, wasn’t feasible since one post for them and their family would’ve been too long. Therefore, their posts are numbered as follows: Evan “Buck” Buckley - #13, Edmundo “Eddie” Diaz and Christopher “Chris” Diaz - #14 and “Buddie” - #15. Each of these posts are identically tagged because they include information that’s related to all of them.

FULL DISCLOSURE: Eddie Diaz is my favorite character! FULL STOP! I wouldn’t and won’t watch 9-1-1 if he’s not present (which is the reason why I’ll never do a rewatch of season 1😊.)

This is a LONG POST.

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Edmundo “Eddie” Diaz is a main character, he became part of the main cast in 2x1 and he’s been on the show ever since. His legal name is Edmundo but he doesn’t allow anyone to call him by that name unless it’s his parents (they call him Edmundo and Eddie interchangeably) or someone who really doesn’t know him. He also doesn’t like for anyone to call him “Diaz” but he does allow Bobby to call him that since he’s the captain and he let Lena call him that too in 3x4. He has a son named Christopher, who’s also a main character.

Bobby recruited Eddie and when Eddie arrived at the 118, he had just graduated at the top of his LAFD Academy class and he had already completed two tours in Afghanistan where he was an Army medic. While looking at him through the glass windows of the locker room, Chimney was the first person to say he was a beautiful man, Hen agreed and they WERE NOT WRONG since Eddie is indeed beautiful! Then Bobby went on to explain all his accolades and accomplishments and he also said he liked to be called “8-pack”.

Eddie is not only beautiful, he’s also sexy, handsome and gorgeous but in addition to all of those attributes, he’s so much more than that. He’s a GREAT AND FANTASTIC DAD all by himself and contrary to popular belief (Buck’s wacky memory during his coma dream in 6x11) Eddie was ALREADY A GREAT DAD BEFORE HE MOVED HIMSELF AND CHRISTOPHER TO L.A. He works hard to make sure Chris has everything he needs and he’s sacrificed so much for him including his job in 5x10.

In season 6, Eddie was sidelined a lot the same way he was during seasons 4 and 5 but it doesn’t make sense because he’s a main character. He only had four or five storylines for the entirety of the season and the majority of them happened in 6B when they forced the dating narrative on him via his aunt Pepa. Only one of his storylines lasted for more than one episode and it was the one that had him dating again. Prior to season 4, he had his OWN STORYLINES that didn’t revolve around another main character but after the shooting, everything that happened to Eddie was made to be about Buck and was told from Buck’s point of view. Most of his screen time in 6B showed him out of character, had him doing things he’s never done before and the same is true for his blood relatives.

By the end of 6x18, Eddie was almost unrecognizable with the way they had him acting and he ended up in a relationship that was a redux of the one he had in season 4. In 6B, the show spent a lot of time proving he’s not alone from 6x10 through 6x13 but in 6x14, they had his aunt Pepa pressure him into admitting he doesn’t want to be alone. There were a lot of unanswered questions for Eddie when the season ended and none of the things that happened from 6x14 through 6x18 made any narrative sense for his character.

My fourteenth set of “constructive criticisms” regarding the character Edmundo “Eddie” Diaz in season 6 are included below the cut. Please note criticizing a TV show is NOT a bad thing especially since TV critics have been doing it for decades. Constructive criticisms are designed to help make something better and they are VERY different from negativity. A person can offer criticisms about a form of entertainment they spend their time watching and not be negative about it the same way two people can agree to disagree on a topic. Just because one person liked the season, they shouldn’t expect others to feel the way they do because everyone has their own opinions. Simply put, two people can have different opinions about 9-1-1 and those opinions can COEXIST since they are not mutually exclusive.

If reading criticisms about the TV show 9-1-1 upsets you, then don’t read below the cut.

Warning! ⚠️“Constructive Criticisms” Ahead!⚠️

Disclaimer: This post is NOT about the actor RG who plays the character of Eddie. RG is an excellent actor who has a lot of range and experience and he plays the character effortlessly. The issues with Eddie and all the flaws included in season 6 as well as other seasons, are not reflective of RG as a person, so please don’t confuse the information included in this post with the actor. These criticisms ARE NOT about the actor, they’re about the character (not a real person) and the way the show portrays him.

Edmundo “Eddie” Diaz

As mentioned above, Eddie is indeed a beautiful man but he’s so much more than that. First and foremost, he’s an EXCELLENT DAD to his only son Chris. He’s also competent, confident and very knowledgeable. Aside from those attributes, one of his most important characteristics is often overlooked. He has a HUGE HEART and he’ll do anything for anyone. He’s given advice to his friends and family on several occasions and unlike some of Bobby’s advice (mainly the things Bobby’s told Buck and Eddie regarding relationships), Eddie’s advice is GOOD and it’s HELPFUL (related post linked here). An example of this happened in 3x13 when he reminded Chimney “Tomorrow isn’t promised”.

Eddie was already skilled when he started working at the 118 and it was one of the reasons why Bobby recruited him. He knew the reason why he was there and he remained focused on the tasks at hand. It took less than a few hours for him to demonstrate that he was a valuable asset to the team and he was immediately accepted into the 118’s found family. He was new to Los Angeles because he had recently relocated himself and his son, Christopher there from El Paso, TX after Eddie got a job with the LAFD. Also, he had an established support system in his grandmother, Isabel Diaz and his aunt Josephina “Pepa” Diaz and they helped him take care of Christopher whenever he had to work if Chris was not in school.

When Eddie first started at the 118, no one knew he had a son because he didn’t tell them. He was a private person and he kept his head down so he could do his job. He remained focused and he wasn’t really big on sharing any personal information about himself. Eddie has a complicated past; he was married but he didn’t tell anyone until 2x7 when he had to call her to interview at Chris’ school, his parents were SUPER CONTROLLING (his mother, Helena still is), he loves his grandmother, they have a great relationship and his aunt was always there to assist him with whatever he needed in season 2.

Prior to the end of season 4, Eddie had his own storylines and he’s always been viewed as a complicated character. But something happened in seasons 4 through 6 because all of his storylines included Buck even though all of Buck’s storylines didn’t include Eddie. He was sidelined for the majority of 6A and part of 6B too which was ridiculous. All his scenes were cut short, chopped or shoved into the end of an episode (looking at 5x13 which included his mental breakdown in the last five minutes of the episode and 5x18 which showed his return to the 118 in the last one minute of the season). Other than his PTSD storyline in season 5, he hasn’t had one that went on for more than one or two episodes since.

The storyline he had in season 5 SHOULD NOT HAVE AFFECTED THE AMOUNT OF SCREEN TIME HE RECEIVED IN SEASON 6. HE’S A MAIN CHARACTER BUT INSTEAD OF GIVING HIM THE SCREEN TIME HE DESERVES, the show continuously shoved Buck into almost every episode for long periods of time. Other than 6x3, Buck was not only involved in his own gazillion storylines; he was also shoved into other main characters’ storylines too and the recurring characters that were brought in for Buck's storylines were too. But Eddie's barely received a full scene that wasn’t overshadowed by Buck’s involvement since season 3.

Eddie’s been a main character since his first episode in 2x1 but for some unknown reason, he’s been treated like a recurring character for the last few seasons and it doesn’t make any sense at all. He’s constantly left in the background and he’s only given the attention he deserves when he’s being shown waiting for Buck to catch up and understand something. It’s not fair because he’s a character all by himself and he has interests that go beyond whether he will or won’t end up in a relationship with Buck.

In the beginning, he was there to do his job and he wasn’t aware of Buck and how much he didn’t like him. Based on Eddie’s reaction to Buck’s behavior, it seems like he really didn’t care. Buck was the one who was all pissy and acted like a toddler while Eddie explained to him while they were in the firehouse’s gym, they did the same thing but he just did it while he was being shot at.

Eddie’s past

Eddie’s past is complicated and he was shouldered with a lot of responsibility at a very young age. His father, Ramon was on the road for work and was rarely home but his mother, Helena was there and she was and still is very controlling. He got his high school girlfriend pregnant then he married her and became an instant husband and father. He enlisted in the Army and when his time was up, he reenlisted. After he was wounded in action and honorably discharged, he returned to El Paso but nothing had changed. Him and his wife, Shannon still argued all the time, they were never on the same page and she left him and Chris there while she traipsed off to Los Angeles to take care of her mother. She left them with a note that stated she needed time too.

He worked three jobs to take care of Chris and even though his parents were helping him, he decided to relocate once he realized they didn’t have him or Christopher’s best interest at heart. They wanted to control him and his mother told him to leave Chris with them instead of taking him to L.A. but Eddie didn’t want Chris to grow up like he did with his mother constantly limiting Chris and trying to control him.

Identity

In CANON, it’s never been explained why Eddie doesn’t usually let people address him by his legal name and his story has been told in parts. He didn’t reveal he had a son until Buck asked him who he was trying to get a hold of in 2x2 and he didn’t mention he had a wife until 2x7 when he was at the Durand School with Carla. His grandmother and his abuela were shown first in season 2 and his parents didn’t appear until 2x18 when they arrived for Shannon’s funeral. They weren’t shown again until Eddie had flashbacks while he was trapped in the well in 3x15.

In 3x8, after Bobby was told about Eddie’s participation in the illegal fight club, Eddie admitted he needed to be in control during their conversation and while he was in therapy with Frank in 3x9, he admitted he doesn’t feel anything. In one of his flashbacks in 3x15, he told Shannon he felt alone and it wasn’t until 5x1, after his first panic attack, that he was told by Dr. Salazar he might be repressing something. In 5x13, he was extremely vulnerable, he reached his breaking point and he had a mental breakdown. Prior to that he’d never let anyone see him cry (he cried a little while he was talking to Bobby in 3x8 but he didn’t cry like he did in 2x17, 3x15 [flashback to his time in the Army] 5x13 and 6x11).

Eddie’s a chameleon and he knows how to adjust to whatever situation he’s involved in but underneath his controlled bravado, he’s a genuinely nice guy who just wants to be in love. He wants someone to not only love him but they have to love Christopher too. He’s an awesome father who puts Chris' needs before his own because he doesn’t want him to grow up without him being there the way he had to grow up without Ramon being present.

After everything Eddie’s been through, the show dropped the ball when they regressed him in 6B. All the work he did before he was forced into that raggedy and trifling dating storyline in 6x14 was dismantled and he became completely unrecognizable. The show turned him into a giggly high school teenager who didn’t understand the things he wanted when he was 14 and 18 years old, like magic and chemistry no longer applied to him because he’s an adult now who’s either 34, 33, 32, 31 or 30 years old (more on his retconned age below). He was no longer the confident, courageous, strong, stoic, Army vet because they completely obliterated his character by retconning his age, retconning his relationship with Shannon and by having him make the same mistakes he’s made in the past by going after a woman who would be someone who would be there for Chris instead of him choosing the BEST person for both him and Chris (BUCK!).

Decisions

People have told Eddie what to do his whole life and other than the decisions he made to remove Chris from that toxic environment with his mother, him moving them to L.A. and him changing his will, all his other decisions were based on someone else’s opinion, him being controlled and/or ordered around by someone else. Ramon told him to be the man of the house when he was 10 years old, his mother told him what to do while his dad was away working, he enlisted in the Army where he received orders 24/7 and he got a job with the LAFD where he receives orders from his captain whenever he’s at work.

The two times he tried to make decisions for himself, he was told by Bobby to stay with Shannon in 2x17 because he would be a great dad of their second child (she wasn't pregnant) and Bobby also told him in 4x6 that he shouldn’t let an opportunity pass by which caused him to start dating Ana. In 2x17, he tried to make it work with Shannon again even though he said he knew he shouldn’t have let her back into their lives during his conversation with Bobby in 3x8. In 5x2, he was planning to stick it out with Ana instead of breaking up with her and he probably would have continued to do that if Buck hadn’t explained how it was going to end up hurting her. Eddie was literally having panic attacks that were so visceral they made him pass out in a suit store all because someone mistook her to be his wife and Chris’ mom. He was still trying to decide what he was going to say until 5x3 when he went home and that’s when he finally broke up with her and explained it was “the idea of them” that caused him to try to make it work. Since Eddie misunderstands a lot of Bobby’s advice, he should stop seeking him out for answers and he should stop listening to him. He should talk to someone who can help him with his love life because he’s not Bobby and other than the fact that both of them have deceased wives, they don't have the same life experiences. Maybe Eddie should talk to one of his friends like Karen or Chimney the next time he has questions about who he should ask out on a date.

Therapy

Eddie worked hard to be better for himself when he went back to therapy in season 5, he took it seriously after his breakdown in 5x13 and he was happy at the beginning of season 6 but the show dismantled all the work he did on himself during 6B (related post linked here). He was learning to be better but he wasn’t shown going to anymore sessions with Frank after 5x14. Pepa pushing him to date was stressful for him and NO ONE LISTENS TO EDDIE when he tells them he’s not ready. Bobby pushed him to date Ana in 4x6 even though he said he wasn’t ready and Pepa did the same thing in 6x14. It’s clear something is holding him back but they won’t allow him to work through it on his own and that’s why he keeps ending up in these one-dimensional relationships with Ana and now her clone Marisol.

Since he still internalizes everything, in 6x11, it was clear he was struggling with death and how it attempted to take someone he loves away from him and Chris again but just like always, he wasn’t shown dealing with it or going to therapy about it. He was wearing his therapy sweater in 6x15 but he wore it to Shannon’s grave with Chris so who knows if he even had a session earlier that day since it wasn’t shown in CANON.

He almost had a panic attack in 6x9 so it would have made sense for him to schedule a session to discuss what triggered it (the answer: Buck’s announcement about being the official creator of new life did it). In 6x7, he talked with a random recurring character named Felisa about the Tsunami even though he didn’t mention Buck and Chris went through it together. In fact, he didn’t mention Buck at all but he sure did mention Shannon even though he hadn’t said anything about her in years.

In 5x13, he told Frank, one of his old drill sergeants said, “Pain is just weakness leaving the body” which was clearly bad advice but Eddie hasn’t discussed the comment since that session but it was clear he experienced pain in 6A after Buck made his announcement, again in 6B after Buck died for three minutes and seventeen seconds and again in 6x15 when Buck said Natalia sees him which was a bunch of BS.

Missing

In 6x10, Eddie was missing during the scene that included the woman who had her baby after the car she was riding in got struck by lightning but he was CLEARLY SEEN AT THE FIREHOUSE with the rest of the 118 before they arrived on the call. He was literally throwing a baseball with Hen while they stood in between the engine and the ladder truck, so what exactly was the show trying to illustrate with him not being on that one call?

Also, he was missing from the locker room in 6x13, when Hen and Chimney heard Buck calling all the women that he’d previously had sex with to see if he satisfied them. Chimney wasn’t even on that call with the victim Patsy and her husband but Buck, Eddie and Hen were there. Did the show think the audience wouldn’t notice that? If they did, they were wrong.

Character assassination

One of the many things that upset a lot of viewers in 6B was the word used to describe Eddie in 6x11 during Buck’s coma dream. Chimney said he was ANGRY but that’s so far from the truth that it’s utterly ridiculous. It’s absurd how the show allowed that word to make it into the episode and it shouldn’t have been greenlit since Eddie’s NOT ANGRY (related post about stereotypes linked here). Even though it was said in Buck’s coma dream, the whole episode was a jumbled mess that was too confusing to be figured out after just one viewing. It had to be dissected to understand it in its totality, therefore viewers who haven’t watched seasons 2 through 5 wouldn’t know Eddie’s not like that.

He's so kind and humble and he’ll do anything for anyone. He doesn’t like to show vulnerability but he’s not some ANGRY guy that’s rude to everyone. He participated in an illegal fight club but his temporary partner introduced him to it and she wasn’t called ANGRY. The only time Eddie was upset was in the grocery store in 3x5 when he and Buck were having a relationship argument about their kid since Buck wasn’t visiting Christopher so that’s just par for the course. The truth is Buck was rude and angry towards Eddie and it happened on Eddie’s first day at the 118. But in 6x11, in Buck’s twisted mind, he figured Chimney calling Eddie ANGRY was an accurate depiction of him, even though it wasn’t. That one word completely ASSASSINATED his character in season 6, it’s still frustrating to think about it today and it’s been more than three months since the finale aired. WTF? This was BS and it needs to be rectified in season 7.

Lies

Eddie lied in 6x14 when he said, “I do not panic” when everyone who watched season 5 knows that he does panic (related post linked here). He also lied to Chris in 6x17 when he told him he was going to run errands but in actuality, he went out to play golf and go hike so he could try to find a date. This was completely unnecessary and should have been eliminated from the episode.

Why was Eddie blatantly lying about something everyone clearly saw him do? As mentioned above, he became unrecognizable by the end of the season.

Single marital status

Another implication that assassinated Eddie’s character in season 6 was the fact that the show tried to make the audience believe Eddie’s going to die alone. HE’S NOT and he wasn’t shown to be alone or that he even had feelings about it until 6x14 when Pepa wouldn’t stop pestering him about dating. Then she pushed him to admit he didn’t want to end up alone.

The weird thing about the positioning of that episode was it happened AFTER EDDIE AND BUCK WENT ON A DATE TO PLAY POKER in 6x13. So what exactly was the show trying to prove with that BS storyline?

It ended up being another disservice to Eddie when they could have just shown him thriving and enjoying his life as a single father. But instead of doing that, they brought Carla back so she could tell him something that he was going to misunderstand again. Once again, the show used Carla (6x8) and Bobby (6x14 and 6x17) so they could tell Eddie something about dating or his lack of it and they went even further when they included Pepa in the mix in 6x14 which was egregiously ridiculous since she was the one who noticed how much Eddie and Buck meant to each other in 2x4 after she met Buck for the first time at the hospital. The truth is Eddie’s not lonely and he will not die alone. But if he chooses to be alone, that should have been shown as a choice he made for himself and that it was ok to do it if that’s what he wanted.

When Eddie went on that date with Vanessa in 6x14, he said, “Full disclosure” but she interrupted him and wouldn’t allow him to finish. What was he going to say? Could it have been something other than him explaining he wasn’t over his dead wife? Probably but the audience will never know.

Age discrepancy

EDDIE IS NOT THE SAME AGE AS BUCK! From his introduction to the show in 2x1, he was shown to be older and more mature than Buck but his age along with Buck’s, Shannon’s and Denny’s were all retconned in season 6. In 6x15, Shannon’s age was changed via the dates included on her gravestone and they retconned Eddie’s age in 6x16 when he said he and Shannon met when they were 14 in the 8th grade. It’s nonsensical because Eddie and Shannon being two or three years older than Buck shouldn’t matter. Prior to season 6, Eddie was ALWAYS SHOWN TO BE MORE MATURE THAN BUCK so they did his character a huge disservice when they retconned his age.

His story has been all over the place, so no one really knows how old Eddie is but retconning his age WAS A MISTAKE because in 2x1 Chimney told Buck he wasn’t Eddie’s elder. Since Eddie’s and Shannon’s ages were retconned, it’s possible Chris is not actually 12 years old anymore and his age may have been retconned to make him 10 years old again like Denny.

Eddie’s familial support system

They took EDDIE’S BLOOD RELATIVES and his PRE-ESTABLISHED support system away and didn’t tell the audience until 5x17. Why did Isabel have to move back to El Paso when Pepa has a huge house that she lives in alone? Isabel could have lived with her instead of Ramon but the show keeps removing people from Eddie’s life while they keep adding people to Buck’s. It doesn’t make any sense because now Eddie has to depend on Buck and the 118 for almost everything but Buck doesn’t have to depend on Eddie the way the show has things setup. This is UNFAIR and it doesn’t make any narrative sense unless they’re leading up to making them a CANON couple.

Pepa was written out of character in 6x14 and she seemed more like Helena since she was pushing Eddie to do something he clearly said he wasn’t ready to do. What was the purpose of that?

Eddie’s parents

Eddie parents are interesting. Helena’s done nothing but try to control Eddie and Chris while Ramon listened to everything she had to say. In 5x17, after Eddie and Ramon reconciled, it appears their relationship has gotten better but Helena was still trying to control Eddie in 6x15 when he tried to explain they were busy and couldn’t visit them in Texas. He told both of his parents in 5x17 that planes fly in both directions so what was up with them not visiting them in L.A.? They could stay with Pepa when they visit.

Eventually, Eddie will have to deal with his mother and explain to her that she’s the reason why he had so many issues with control. He doesn’t see it yet but hopefully one day he will. She’s also said a lot of horrible things to him but season 6 retconned her and tried to make her likeable. She didn’t deserve a redemption because she hasn’t earned one.

Eddie deserves for someone to care about him too

It’s unfair how every time something happens to Eddie, Buck’s the one who’s shown to have been affected by it but when something happens to Buck, they don’t allow Eddie to be there for him. The show made Eddie being trapped in the well, the shooting, his mental breakdown, them being held hostage by Mitchell and Dom along with everything else that happened to him be about Buck instead of focusing on Eddie. The audience didn’t get to see Eddie’s recovery after 4x14 but they shoved Taylor Kelly into Eddie’s house (instead of one or both of his sisters) at the end of 4x14 with everyone else and they shoved her into 5x11 too during the Buckley-Diaz Family dinner.

In 6x10, EDDIE WAS CATAPULTED OFF THE AERIAL but NO ONE, not Bobby, Hen or Chimney asked or checked to see if he was ok. They didn’t even check on him after they made it to the hospital. It seemed like par for the course since all the focus was on Buck even though they were both struck by the same bolt of lightning. To add insult to Eddie’s injuries, they wouldn’t even let Buck check on him after he woke up from his coma dream. They keep wedging all these random people into his storylines and they’re still doing it, hence, the reason why they wait for half the season to be over then they bring Carla Price back who’s Chris’ home healthcare aide. But she shouldn’t be the one Eddie talks with because he does have friends.

Stop including Carla Price in Eddie’s storylines

WHY IS CARLA THE ONLY PERSON EDDIE’S ALLOWED TO TALK TO? She’s Chris’ home healthcare aide but she’s always brought back to talk to Eddie when he should be allowed to talk to Isabel, Pepa or Ramon (since they reconciled in 5x17) or someone else other than her if they aren’t going to let him talk to Buck. Everything she tells him confuses him even more and it’s always been like that. In 2x7 when she said “A boy needs his mother” Eddie thought she was telling him to get back with Shannon but she wasn’t. In 4x13 when she told him to follow his heart and not Chris’, he was confused then too. In 5x10, Eddie should have had a conversation with someone else about whether he should leave the 118, like CHIMNEY, because Carla was not the person to help him.

He and Chimney are friends, they have been for years but they’re NEVER shown interacting outside of the firehouse. It was clear in 6x5 when Eddie took Hoover the dog to Chimney’s apartment that he and Eddie hang out with each other. In 6x8, Eddie should have had the conversation about Chris and his crush with Hen or Chimney not Carla. Or here’s an idea, those scenes should have been SOLELY ABOUT EDDIE AND HIS SON CHRIS so they could have shared some father and son moments like they did in seasons 2 and 3. Why is Carla being wedged in when she doesn’t have to be? None of this makes any narrative sense.

Friendships

Everyone knows Eddie and Karen are friends and he’s friends with Chimney and Linda too but he’s never shown hanging out with them. The question is why not? He’s not afforded the same character development in that area like everyone else on the show is. Hen and Athena are friends, so is Hen and Chimney. Maddie and Josh are friends too but Bobby and Eddie are the only two who don’t have friends they can spend time with when they’re off work. Eddie’s trip to the hardware store in 6x17 with Bobby doesn’t count because they have conversations like that all the time.

Eddie’s past relationships

Eddie wants someone who loves both him and Chris. Shannon said she loved Chris but she left and didn’t contact their son for two years and if Eddie hadn’t called her to interview at Chris’ school, she probably wouldn’t have come back. She suggested they get a divorce while he wanted to try again. She told him he was a really great dad but she never commented on her own mothering skills. However, she couldn’t wait to remind Eddie she’s Chris’ mother in 2x7 when she went to Eddie’s house and asked could she see Chris but when he said he didn’t want to confuse him, she said, “I’m his mom” well what did that have to do with the tea in China? NOTHING because she left and didn’t try to contact them. If she didn’t want Eddie, ok fine but she had a son who she didn’t check on. Let’s be real, most mothers would have taken their child with them when they left but she didn’t.

They were never on the same page and all they did was ARGUE! The audience shouldn’t have been convinced by that scene in 6x15 when they were sitting in front of her grave because Eddie knows the truth. He read the letter she wrote to Chris but HE WILL NEVER TELL HIS SON THAT HIS MOTHER DIDN’T WANT TO STAY FOR HIM because he won’t hurt Chris like that. Eddie carries the guilt of her not wanting to be a wife and a mother with him and hopefully he’ll be able to let it go in season 7 so he can focus on himself and stop it with this fictitious made-up fairytale about the way things were with her while they were in high school.

Eddie was 14 when they met and so was she and for anyone who believes those retconned ages the show pulled out in 6x15, they were 18 and fresh out of high school when she got pregnant so neither of them knew enough about love or anything else to have had some Romeo and Juliet type of love affair. He was gone for 5 years while he was in the Army and she left for two years after he returned to the states. If the amount of time they actually spent under the same roof is added up, it can’t be more than a few months. He came back for Chris’ birth then he left again, he reenlisted which means he may have been in Texas for a month or two and when they reconciled in season 2, it was in October of that year and she died in May of 2019 but they weren’t living together in L.A., so the total amount of time they may have been under the same roof is 4 or 5 months.

That scene in 6x15 of Eddie and Chris sitting in front of Shannon’s grave was RIDICULOUS. They had never done that before and it didn’t make any sense. Eddie hadn’t mentioned Shannon since 5x10 and that was because Chris had a nightmare about her. So, why did they bring her back to halo her like she didn’t leave Chris and not call him for two years?

Ana was in love with the “idea” of her and Eddie the same way he was but she wouldn’t admit it. The proof happened in 5x1 when she cared more about dressing Eddie up like he was some type of Ken doll before his first panic attack. She avoided talking to him about it until he broke up with her. She didn’t sit down to have a conversation with him like she should have but she sure did try to make it seem like he was the problem when she threw his panic attacks in his face.

At the end of 6x18, the way Eddie was acting was completely out of character for him. Prior to that episode, he had never acted like a giggly school kid but that’s exactly how he acted in that episode when he was trying to ask Marisol out on a date. Does the show really want the audience to believe King Petty Eddie Diaz who gave Taylor Kelly the stink eye several times in CANON doesn’t know how to ask a woman out on a date? Also, he literally reproposed to Shannon in 2x17 before she suggested they get a divorce so the version of Eddie in 6x18 didn’t make any narrative sense.

So WTF was that BS and who’s raggedy idea was this? Eddie’s nothing but confident, HELL he exudes it and he’s cool under pressure so how was the audience supposed to take that or interpret that scene of him dancing around like he got a date with a celebrity?

Is Eddie dating Marisol for Christopher or for himself?

In 6x17, Eddie WAS STILL LOOKING FOR SOMETHING/SOMEONE FOR CHRISTOPHER INSTEAD OF FOR HIMSELF (related post linked here). When he saw Marisol at the hardware store, once again Bobby’s ‘raggedy advice’ was misconstrued and Eddie misunderstood what or who he should have been looking for. He did the same thing after he saw Ana again in 4x6. If they did date or if they will still be dating at the beginning of season 7, it shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone if Eddie has another panic attack followed by another scene of him saying “Chris loves you so much” the same way he told Shannon and Ana before he ends it. Marisol’s name literally means LONELY or SOLITUDE. Their relationship won’t work so it doesn’t make sense for them to be together especially since HE’S ALREADY FOUND THE PERFECT PERSON FOR CHRIS (BUCK) but he keeps looking past him.

Christopher “Chris” Diaz

Chris is a main character but he only had two storylines in season 6 and they weren’t all about him. In 6x4, he skipped his Science Club meetings but that storyline was used to rope Buck’s ridiculous sperm donor storyline into it and it was also used to show Chris is growing up and he won’t be hanging out with Eddie as much anymore. Therefore, it was about Eddie. Also, his 6x8 storyline about the crush he had on a classmate was also made to be about Eddie. The audience wasn’t shown Chris dealing with his crush on his own and actually, Carla was the one who suggested he might have a crush but Chris never said if he did.

Can Chris please get a storyline that doesn’t revolve around Buck and Eddie? He’s 12 years old now which means he should have his own storylines just like all the other first responder kids had their own. There are so many ways the show could handle it but for some reason they won’t. They could let Chris have an honest conversation with Eddie about Shannon instead of making up that smores storyline in 6x15. Chris was 5 years old when she left them in El Paso and they weren’t shown making smores together in season 2 before she died so who made up that story and why was it greenlit since it wasn’t true?

Since Eddie was sidelined for all 6A except for 6x7 and his storylines in 6B were more of the same from season 4, it would be nice if they actually gave him some storylines that were all about him and Chris. Not that retconned storyline with Shannon or the ones where they constantly add Carla into the mix. Both Eddie and Chris are treated like recurring characters even though they’re both mains and it needs to change before season 7. They shouldn’t be sidelined only to be pulled back in for Buck’s storylines. When is Buck going to be sidelined so he can be pulled into Eddie’s and Chris’ storylines?

Eddie and Chris both need and deserve more attention. If 9-1-1 is turning into the Buck show with everyone else revolving around him and his love interests then, Eddie and Chris need their own show. Can Eddie be HAPPY once and for all? If they aren’t going to let him and Buck get together then let Eddie live his life happily ever after ALONE and let him get into some activities that mean something to him like baseball. They moved his family away and have made him completely dependent on Buck and Carla which is RIDICULOUS.

Hopefully things will be different in season 7 for both Eddie and Chris. Also, it would be good if they leave Marisol in season 6 where she initially appeared because no one wants to watch Eddie be in another relationship only for him to end up having panic attacks and trying to stick it out while avoiding what he wants for himself. EDDIE AND CHRIS DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!

These are my criticisms regarding the character of Edmundo “Eddie” Diaz for season 6.

I have a total of 15 CANON “Constructive Criticisms” and as of Wednesday, August 30, 2023, they’ve all been posted. The topics were posted in a specific order that begins with the overall issues for season 6 so they can be referenced within the posts about individual characters and ships that followed them.

#buddie #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #evan buckley #911 fox #911 on fox #911onfox #911 #911 on abc #911 abc #911 meta #9-1-1 Season 6 - CANON Constructive Criticisms #Canonically Observing 9-1-1 Speaks #911 season 6 #911 s6 #911 season 6 speculation #the buckley diaz family #buckley diaz family

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thebarontheabyss · 5 months

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Hey, wassup homie. If you have the time and patience, can you eat what I decided to cook 🔥🔥 (I am so cringe).

For the holiday season, I never experienced the joys of making gingerbread houses. So I hope to see such euphoria somewhere else. Your lovely cast decided to make gingerbread houses. How exactly good are said houses, what special decorations do they have, whose house is about to crumble to bits?

Hi there, bro! (Oh god the cringe 😭)

Firstly, I really want to express my deepest condolences about your gingerbread housing situation. Hope you are getting better!

Now for the prompt…

Death, ever the gentle soul, constructs a gingerbread house that's as sweet as it is wobbly. Constantly apologizing to the gingerbread for any perceived mishandling, their creation is whimsically lopsided, much like their approach to life (and death).

Lilith/Damien conjures a devilishly decadent gingerbread palace with sugar-spun flames and candied brimstone. The grandeur is impressive, but one can't help but wonder if a touch of hellfire wasn't used in baking.

Morgan/Morgana, as can be expected, first uses magic to conjure up an ethereal gingerbread house that shimmers with enchantments. Pepper, however, is quick to criticize this magical shortcut. Chastened, the witch tries a hand at mundane construction, only to end up with a crumbled mess.

Peisinoe crafts a theatrical gingerbread stage with cookie performers and an icing-draped backdrop; it's less of a house and more of a tribute to the arts. They will nonchalantly say that the stage is their house if you ask them why they made it.

Yaga meticulously assembles a gingerbread abode that epitomizes precision and efficiency. Each candy is methodically placed, each icing line flawlessly straight. Her grumbles about the frivolity of the task don't stop her creation from being the most structurally sound of the lot.

Hastur's creation mirrors his nature - stoic, imposing, and surprisingly intricate. His gingerbread fortress, complete with marzipan defenses and licorice guards, is not just practical, but also tastes the best.

With her innate cheerfulness, Shelly crafts a gingerbread house that radiates warmth and joy. Adorned with colorful candies and frosting with just the right amount of sweetness, the house almost resembles a bar - maybe a nostalgic nod to her own lost home.

Lastly, He Without Name creates something less of a house and more of an abstract representation of home. It's a minimalist structure, challenging the concept of a gingerbread house. The others will try to figure out what to make of it, but it's undeniably intriguing.

The Raven can't exactly build a gingerbread house, but he would definitely enjoy criticizing all the others.

#choice of games #wip #hosted game #fiction #interactive fiction #interactive novel #thebarontheabyss #choicescript #cog #hosted games #the witch tbota #the bar on the abyss #hastur tbota #the devil tbota #death tbota #tbota #he without name tbota #peisinoe tbota

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glasskey · 11 months

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Justice THT Style - Part 4 - Tuello

Today I’m going to be discussing Tuello and all his various forms of justice. Tuello’s had quite a journey lately and as his allegiance to June grows, so too his sense of Justice must also change.

In season 4, when Fred was at the top of everyone’s shit list, we were finally given a proper introduction to Mark Tuello (YAY). As a character he seems to have an almost Teflon like quality, he’s likeable to the point of being cuddly, and even when he does fuck up he seems to redeem himself without so much as a scratch. I love Tuello, he’s extremely layered and I’m always on board for the onions in any cast of characters. Tuello is, for all intents and purposes, the Nick Blaine of Canada. They both occupy positions of power and judgement and like Blaine, Tuello acts like a light in the dark whenever June needs to find safe harbour.

As a diplomat it’s expected that Tuello’s sense of justice is strictly procedural and in season 4 he bargains with Fred to acquire him as an asset. But he’s a complicated guy, Tuello feels Junes rage and frustration, he knows Fred is a POS who doesn’t deserve immunity and a quiet house in the suburbs. He knows full well that by handing over Fred to Gilead he’ll be sentencing him to death, but regardless he marches him with firm righteousness across the border and does just that.

The similarities between this and Blaine's walk with Fred through the woods seemed to foretell the partnership between these two men in delivering justice that was at last cemented in season 5. With both men Fred stops mid walk to rage indignantly at them, only to be brutally rebuffed each time. I am not joking when I say the very SECOND I saw Blaine jump out of that truck and flash those suspenders (sweet mother of Mary) I knew their partnership would come to pass.

Like Blaine he’s not really one to revel in retributive justice, but in this case he was happy to partake and in season 5 he stopped by Junes’ house to give her an unexpected pat on the back for her murderous endeavours. Tuello also seemed to have an intimate knowledge of what this would ultimately cost June personally…..the figurative second grave.

Tuello may be truly benevolent, but every move he makes is a precise and purposeful attempt at the restoration of democracy to a broken country. Tuello likes Blaine, he honestly believes he is an “honourable man” and he’s truly awed by Nicks love for June. He’s a romantic and he simply can’t understand why Serena would go back to Fred or why Nick didn’t run away with June. He’s visibly heart broken when Blaine professes that he feels worthless and I was utterly convinced in that moment that Tuello would need to light the way, if Nick was ever to hope to make it back to June.

As romantic as he may be, he’s no fool, he makes Nick sign a contract and he intends to hold him to it. Nick Blaine is a HUGE asset to Tuello, ultimately taking the place that Fred would have occupied as a source of information about the inner workings of Gilead, this may mean that Nick is in for a long haul as a double agent. Tuello is ultimately a real messenger of peace; his kindness towards Blaine, his repeated attempts to help Serena, his attempt to rescue Hannah and his warnings about New Bethlehem, all testify to this. Everything about Tuello is designed to command respect, but in his case its done with a kind word and a contract instead of a noose. Tuello has been constructed to be almost father figure like in nature. There’s something wonderfully comforting about his presence; he has a voice that could read you off into a blissful slumber and he’s rarely seen dressed in anything but a well tailored suit.

Tuello is remarkably cool headed in most situations, even those that should send him into a tail spin. I’ve only seen him get slightly flustered once or twice, the most notable being when June neglected to make an appointment and surprised him jogging. To be fair, no one looks their best clammy and gasping for breath, and lets face it their last encounter didn’t really end on a high note.

While I’m thrilled to have Tuello along as an ally, I’m acutely aware that everything about him screams (in a warm caramel voice) the virtues of restorative justice, and I’m wondering how well our lovely diplomat will fair once he’s seen some actual corpses swing. Tuello, like Blaine, may want to stick to the rule of moral and law, but I fear that as Gilead seeps across the border, he may quickly come to realise that stronger methods will be required in order to restore peace. Next time I’ll be discussing the use of Tokens in THT. What are they and what do they mean? See you then.

#nick x june #june x nick #june osborne #max minghella #hulu streaming #nick blaine #mark tuello #osblaine #the handmaids tale hulu #elisabeth moss #sam jaeger #the nick blaine of canada #bruce miller #hulu series #tv series #handmaid's tale #the handmaid's tale #handmaid's on hulu

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leonsliga · 4 days

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I need to vent to someone so I hope it’s okay to send this to you. I made the mistake of reading some comments about yesterday’s game and saw lots of comments that I’m seeing often lately: people hating on Manu and Thomas (especially Manu after his mistakes yesterday), complaining they’re too old, useless, can’t do nothing, should just stop and even worse things. It makes me sad and mad to see this shit. People love to forget everything they’ve done for this club and the national team. And I think they’ve proven this season that they’re still capable of playing great football (I read somewhere that Thomas has one of the most scorer points from all players this season even though he didn’t play that much. Hello??!!) Everyone makes mistakes but apparently it’s forbidden for them.

I dread the day they are going to retire but to be completely honest when I see these things I almost wish they would have done so this year. Because I don’t think the hate is going to stop next season. And they absolutely don’t deserve this shit coming at them. They are legends and should be treated like that.

Any thoughts? (btw so sorry about this loooong ass ask, didn’t think it’s going to be this long 😬).

Hey anon! No worries! Sometimes you just need to vent, and that’s ok. You’re more than welcome to do so here 💜

I definitely feel your pain too. It’s hard to avoid reading people’s comments, even if we know the inevitable hate will be lurking around every corner there. I’ve said it before, but I feel like it’s still as true as ever: us fans are a fickle bunch, and unfortunately, not even club legends are spared abuse.

You asked for my thoughts, and if I’m honest, I feel the same way you do. Constructive criticism is one thing, but outright hate is another entirely. No one deserves hate comments, least of all Manu and Thomas, who, despite still playing for Bayern, are already veritable club legends. It can be easy for us to forget that in spite of how much money they may make, footballers are still human. Even Manu, who many—myself included—consider the best goalkeeper in the world, makes mistakes. The great Thomas Müller has off-days too. To be human is to be imperfect.

What bothers me the most is that all too often it’s the same people who complain that Manu and Thomas are finished one match that praise their incredible resilience in the next. They act as though they’re not the reason they have to be resilient in the first place. It breaks my heart too. Our memories can be so finite—even tremendous accomplishments can have a limited shelf life. Like you said, they’ve done so much for Bayern and the national team, gave us so many titles to remember them by, but when you play for a club as successful as ours, success becomes an expectation. A requirement. If you’re not playing at your absolute best every game, you’re not good enough. It’s cruel, but for some fans, it’s true.

This is especially unfair when you consider—as you already have—Manu and Thomas’s performances this season alone. Thomas amassing as many scorer points as he had this season is no small feat, especially considering how limited his playing time has been recently. And as for Manu, I think people forget that not too long ago, the man was literally learning how to walk again. He’s bailed us out so many times this season alone; I don’t think I’m wrong in saying that we would’ve finished a lot worse than 3rd in the Bundesliga without him.

I’m dreading the day they’ll inevitably retire too, especially knowing it’s on the horizon now. That said—and maybe it’s a bit selfish on my part—I’m kinda glad they didn’t retire this season. Not just because anything less than one last Meisterschale lift would feel like an inadequate sendoff, but also because, as much as I hate to say it, that hate has always been there, and it probably always will be. Thomas and Manu could be playing in their prime right now, and there would probably still be some vocal group of “fans” insisting they’re not good enough. Unfortunately, you really can’t please everyone, and nowhere is that more true than in football. Thomas and Manu are club legends and deserve praise for everything they’ve done, but some people will never give them that, and that’s why I’m glad Thomas and Manu have the thick skin they do. They could handle hate in the past, and they still can (not that they should have to, but I digress). I think my ultimate hope is that they retire when they’re ready, and don’t continue to push themselves beyond their limits for our sake. They’re still playing really well right now though, if this season is any indication. So I guess that means we’ll have to see what the future holds.

You don’t need to apologize for sending a longer ask btw; generally my responses are longer than the asks themselves because I just can’t help myself 🫶 you may think your asks are long, but I guarantee I’ll give you a run for your money 😂

#anon 💖#thomas müller #thomas mueller #thomas muller #manuel neuer #fc bayern #fc bayern munich #fc bayern münchen #beating the subject matter to a pulp as per #football asks #my asks

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ingravinoveritas · 1 year

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u know michael has spoken out against people bashing/speculating about his relationship and anna multiple times right? even blocking some “fans” for doing so

Hello, Anon. I'm guessing this is in response to this Anon, which I answered recently.

I'd first like to clarify one point, which is that I don't consider what I wrote to be "bashing" Michael's relationship. I've noticed that people seem to characterize any commentary that isn't enthusiastic, over-the-top praise as "bashing," which in turn leaves no room for nuanced conversation, which is what I was trying to do with that post, by responding to a question that I felt I could answer.

Second, there are only two instances I am aware of involving Michael speaking out about or blocking people for talking about his relationship with AL. One occurred four years ago and sounds as if he was under tremendous pressure/had no other choice. The other took place three years ago, and what I think often gets overlooked is that this was during lockdown, when Michael was already not in the best frame of mind. It was a time I seem to keep seeing folks on Twitter refer to as "feral Michael" (such as the incident where he had an interaction with a fan over the bees in his house), but that I think is more accurately described as "unhinged."

The distinction between the two is that "feral Michael" is the Michael who was on the GO press tour making cheeky comments about Aziraphale and Crowley and brazenly flirting with David and basically being the world's biggest Ineffable Husbands shipper. "Unhinged" Michael was the side of him we saw during the pandemic, and the very difficult time we were all having. He was clearly, visibly depressed and struggling (it was especially noticeable during the second season of Staged), and it was frustrating to see everyone ignore that, and seemingly still ignoring it three years later.

That being said, aside from the above mentioned incidents, I'm having a difficult time recalling Michael ever speaking about his relationship with Anna, let alone defending it. He's talked about her during paid interviews, where the interviewer prompts him to do so (such as in the PR pieces that were published in the Australian media ahead of him appearing in Amadeus a few months ago, and this interview promoting LTTC at the end of 2021), but he has not and does not bring her up unprompted. (Again, in sharp contrast to how he constantly brings up David in multiple interviews without the interviewer even saying a word.)

There were also multiple opportunities for Michael to talk about AL publicly on social media over the past few years, and yet he's seemingly chosen not to do that. He didn't promote LTTC with her (and in fact if you look at their tweets promoting the film side-by-side, there is a stark difference). He didn't mention her or their appearance together in that one episode of Sandman, and he didn't at all promote Staged 3, which was released with almost no advanced notice in November of last year and has barely been talked about since.

I have to admit something, Anon: I am disappointed. You could have come in here and said you disagreed with me, and that would've been absolutely fine. I'm always open to hearing other opinions and people who don't agree with me, and we could have had a discussion and shared opinions in a constructive way. But when you come in here without any receipts and make comments that sound a lot like barely veiled threats, I know that your aim is to intimidate and shut me down, because you want me to stop talking.

I believe that Michael is welcome to cultivate his online space, and so are we all. My intention is to keep a respectful dialogue going because I don't believe shutting people down is the answer. I'd love for you to be a part of that, Anon...but if you don't happen to like what I am writing, it costs nothing at all just to block me and move on.

#anonymous #reply post #michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #the fact that i even gotta respond to this #i can't even with this nonsense #i'd rather look like a 'bad' fan and talk about the reality of the situation #than look like a 'good' fan by ignoring it #and it also blows my mind that the stans can't see the sadness in Michael's eyes #and would rather pretend that everything is fine instead #anna lundberg #discourse

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pinkeoni · 10 months

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I dont want to milk the discussion to death but i am writing this after reading the post and comments under that post on reddit. You dont have to answer i am just writing it as an observation.

Its understandable why people do not see Will's importance or role. What the writers did with him wasnt just holding the spoiler for the finale. After all you can still pull a plot twist while revealing some of the stuff or putting more setup. But theu revealed basically nothing with litte to no setup. In Will's case it doesnt help bc they also sidelined him way too much and separated him from the main plotline. That is just a writing mistake and admitting its not hating on the writers.

I dont want to sound rude. And Whenever i have this discussion with people i tend to keep an open mind to the both sides. Overall though i tend to agree that if your writing is pretty much alien to most of your audience then it is bad writing. This show isnt written for a selective part of the audience. I wish people would realize that. If i go to twitter, reddit, insta, tiktok or other sites that make posts and analyses about ST and i see the majority of people call Will unimportant then the writers failed at even hinting at his importance. People shouldnt be saying he is an irrelevant or unimportant character that doesnt do anything. It is not just El fans who say this, its the majority of the audience. It was the writers job to stop this accusation by putting more setup and adding more screentime for him before the finale season rolls, even if they want to pull a plot twist in St5.

People also dont like plot twists that has little to no actual setup. That is why plot twists are tricky. Also keep in mind that the same thing applies to byler going canon... i dont want to sound like i dislike the show because i dont. But i have to admit that they flopped the writing. I genuienly think that once St5 rolls people will realize this more. Heck even some Will fans themselves think he is not that important and what happened to him were all coincidental. Can we blame the overall audience for thinking that way?

My problem isnt that i think Will is unimportant but rather how the writers approached it. It is full of bad decisions and lack of good writing. And whatever plot twist that they may pull might not even have a positive pay off at the end due to how they have been writing things. In that case is it even worth to pull a plot twist if the pay off also flops? Imho the Duffers dont realize that their setup for a potential pay off is built on a weak construction site but they like the element of twists so they dont care about the coherent build up and progression.

Will the audience's response to what happens in St5 be "Wow this is so true how didnt i see it coming" or will it be majorly a reaction like "This is bullshit there was almost nothing that suggested this"? Because the latter one seems more likely to happen, unfortunately.

Anyways this was all over the place but admittedly i wrote it after reading the comments on reddit as an overall afterthought. I respect your opinion but in think there is a major disconnect btw the writers and its audience here in terms of writing imho.

Hello anon,

Decided to go to sleep before answering. No, I don't think you're being rude, and to be honest I agree with a lot of what you said. I think that the points we disagree on we may just continue to disagree on 😂🤝

I don't think you are hating the show for pointing out flaws in the writing, and in the post I just made about this I do at least try to acknowledge some of their shortcomings such as— shafting Will's presence and not balancing the supporting casts' storylines. I do agree that, like you said, that Will's role in the story could have been emphasized more.

The thing that I do disagree with, and maybe we just won't ever see eye to eye on this anon, is that there wasn't any setup at all, especially concerning his role in the supernatural plot. I listed off the evidence and gave my reasoning in my post, so I won't repeat here as to not sound like a broken record.

I also agree that no, the show isn't written just for the over-analytical people like me, but I think surveying reddit isn't an accurate depiction of the general audience. Granted I don't see much of sttwt, tiktok and insta so I'll just trust your word for it. But in that specific reddit thread, it seemed like fans who were adamantly trying to deny Will's importance, using faulty evidence as proof. It's interesting because these aren't really fans who watch from a surface level, they actively participate in fandom and willfully skew their perception of the text in order to fit their vision of things.

I think when it comes to revealing Will's importance and having it not come out of nowhere, it will all come down to execution in this final season. If the show reminds the audience of some of the hints leading up to it, then maybe they won't feel so vexed when the reveal happens. If they throw us in the deep end and start pulling out new details then it would definitely feel out of nowhere. It'll be a fine line for them to walk for sure.

But anyway that's where I'll leave it anon. I appreciate you sharing your opinion, although I still maintain some of my thoughts on this and I think you will too and that's okay 🤝

#anon #asks #stranger things

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the-darkness-does-not-bargain · 10 months

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for the fic writer ask 👀🥺 please may i have 3, 7, 14, 15, 17, 19, & 25. sorry there are so many but what can i say i love your writing 😌

🥰🥰🥰

3. Favorite fic I have written: It has to How to Stitch Holes in the Sky, that fic is my baby 👶

7. How many ideas for fics do I have right now? So many, dude, literally so many. Thinking about my Elden Ring au again, the sci-fi au, my quasi-Good Omens au, and my Skyrim au, just to name a few. Then I have a few season 3 fic ideas about the Holy War where I make gratuitous Evangelion references.

14. If I could see one of my fics adapted? That's a toughie. My heart says HtSHtS because with the right talent and budget it could be the best Dragon Age show/film we're likely to get, and I don’t say that as a boast 😬. But! Lazarus would be also be pretty cool because it would give the SCP universe representation outside of the wiki and the fan games.

15. How do I come up with titles for fics/chapters? As far as titling fics goes, I'm a predictable slut for using song titles, with rare exception. I will also jump at any opportunity to name chapters after songs too (see: my two She-Ra fics). But if I'm not doing that, I just try to match the titles to the general theme of the work, so Chant verses for HtSHtS, data logs for Lazarus, etc etc.

17. What's something I learned while researching for a fic? That burns left by lightning strikes heal very quickly and almost never scar. I was going to have a character have lichtenberg scars from a lightning strike, only to find out that those marks tend to fade within a day. Both interesting and disappointing at the same time.

19. Sneak peek!

Now that you've made the decision to try negotiating with the rebels, things begin moving at a rapid pace. Josephine starts working her magic, sending messenger hawks with one hand and penning orders with the other. Dora focuses her efforts on arranging troops throughout the Hinterlands, guarding the roads and protecting the refugees in case the Templars try to attack. Mother Superion sends Harding back to work with her best spies to infiltrate Redcliffe and gather intel before your arrival.

Within Haven's walls, the people aren't resting either. Construction on the siege weapons continues from dawn until dusk, and an ever-growing number of soldiers train in shifts out in the cold.

Lilith doesn't try to ambush you with training again. In fact, she seems to be avoiding you, leaving the position of instructor open to Beatrice once again. She doesn't try to hit you with sticks, but she does gently reassert the Seeker’s point about your fitness level.

"We'll start simple," she says on the first morning she greets you in a set of warm fatigues rather than her usual robes. Simple turns out to mean jogging laps around the frozen lake, which nearly does you in before you've even begun.

"Draste’s tits," you pant hoarsely, stopping in your tracks somewhere into the second lap and planting your hands on your knees. "How does anyone just do this?"

She jogs back to you with limber strides, her natural grace unhindered by the snow and mud. "They practice," she tells you plainly. "They work at it until it's easy. And then they keep going." She isn't even out of breath, what the actual fuck?

"And there's no way we could just skip to the part where it's easy and go from there?" Your lungs feel like they’re going to blow your ribs out.

She chuckles. "I'm afraid not." She gently pushes on your shoulders until you straighten. "But we can at least move on to something else."

25. Have I ever upset myself with my own writing? As in, have I ever made myself cry? Yes, on occasion. Or, has my writing upset me in other ways? Also yes. I've been writing since middle school; needless to say I've gone through some serious growing pains with my work. I smashed one of my own flash drives with a hammer once because I hated everything on it. Good riddance to it.

#ask meme #thanks bestie 😘

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mamthew · 1 year

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When Harvestella was first announced, I was surprised by how excited I was for it. I don't even play farming sims, and I've had more criticism than praise for Square Enix side projects like Bravely Default and ESPECIALLY Octopath Traveler, but the trailer was so reminscient of Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles that I couldn't help but eagerly anticipate it. The idea of a fifth season of death that kills crops, forcing adventurers to venture outside in search of a way to stop it had the potential to give this farming sim as potent a sense of urgent melancholy as miasma had done for FFCC, and I've yearned for some kind of aesthetic successor to that game for nearly as long as I've been playing video games, with little luck. The game's action combat and use of huge crystals as setpieces further cemented in my mind that the two games were alike.

Harvestella isn't like Crystal Chronicles. It's not like Bravely Default, or Octopath Traveler. Hell, it's not even developed by Square Enix. The developers, Live Wire Inc, cut their teeth on shoot 'em up ports until 2021, when they released a sidescrolling Dark Fantasy action RPG they co-developed under a small publisher. Harvestella might be published by Square, then, but it is not to my mind A Square Game. It doesn't feel like it's trying to be the contemporary version of an old Square property the way much of Square's smaller output does. It feels like an indie game. Harvestella is best thought of as a passion project by some folks who didn't really have the budget to make something as lavish as their ideas deserved but did have some really talented artists who were able to smooth over some of the rough edges with some absolutely gorgeous visual art, one of the best RPG soundtracks in years, and a thoughtful and complex story.

Harvestella is an overly-simple action-RPG and also an overly-simple farming sim with an absolutely bonkers story that has absolutely nothing to do with farming. It's missing a lot of features that are expected in its genres. Its tutorials in some areas are close to useless, there's no way to see how much money a product will sell for until it's been sold - which is uhhhhhhh not great in a genre about simulating mercantilism, its combat never reaches a point where it feels complex or even good, its farm customization options are too basic for your farm to ever really feel like your own, and it has no romance options. None of these are dealbreakers for me - obviously, as I put over 90 hours into the game - but they're not great issues to have, either. Also, the game simultaneously has too much voice acting and not enough. Almost none of the dialogue is voiced, but characters have lines in battle and while you're farming, and the delivery for those lines ranges from just good enough to abysmal. A voice line kicks in every single time you perform any farming action, and for some reason all those lines are done in a really grating falsetto stage whisper that makes the game actively embarrassing to play. Frankly, I don't think the game is worth $60. It clearly wasn't budgeted like a AAA game. Lots of love and talent went into it, but that's true of plenty of $30-$40 games. I came away from Harvestella feeling like I'd played an indie game that industry giant Square Enix pretended was something else. But that's not the fault of Harvestella or its devs - that's Square's fault.

I want to get into story spoilers next, because the themes and philosophies of Harvestella are unique enough that I was baffled by most of the game's story decisions for over half the game, before they made it clear what they were getting at, exactly. Honestly, what Harvestella is trying to say is probably the most interesting thing about it, in a way that reminds me of Legend of Mana, which is high praise. Harvestella is a game about cultural constructs and societal collapse. For a time, I was describing the game as "post-truth," and I still think that's accurate, but not exactly in a conservative way. The first two-thirds of the story felt impenetrable for this reason. It kept making story decisions that were directly counter to the decisions that I'm used to RPGs making.

For example, one party member is a high-ranking church official, but when she joins the party, she learns that the church leader, who adopted her as a child and took her into the church, is a literal monster who has been using his position in the church to eat adherents. Pretty standard RPG fare. In the party member's side story, she learns that the church's doctrine itself was created by an AI. A robot was tasked with keeping humans from fighting each other too much and decided the most effective way of doing so was to procedurally generate a holy book using texts like the Bible and the Koran as inspirations. In most games of this kind, when the characters learn that a church's foundational history is entirely fabricated and its clergy has been engaging in murdering innocents, the characters then fight to dismantle the church. Here, though, the character decides that the good of the church, even if it is based on lies, outweighs the harm it has inflicted, and places herself as the church's leader and central figure so she can better control it as a force for good. She says she does this to "fight the status quo."

In another character quest, a character learns that his memories about the royal family he serves are all fabricated, as the family doesn't actually exist. When he confronts the robot who created his memories, the robot tells him that the species that created it had gone extinct before it was ever given consciousness, and it decided that carrying out orders for a fake master you vividly remember is better than the hell of doing the same for a real master that you have never met and never will meet. with this in mind, the character decides to keep and cherish his false memories. Moments like these gave me whiplash, and I talked to anyone who would listen about how strange the game's decisions were.

It's only in the last third of the game that these themes about pushing back against what's true and inconvenient in favor of what's imagined but comforting begin to coalesce into something interesting and worth engaging with. I won't get into all the details, but like most RPGs, Harvestella is a game about the coming climate crisis. It is revealed partway in that Harvestella takes place two millennia in the future, after humanity went extinct and new humans evolved to take their place through sci-fi means that don't really matter. The people of our time had tried desperately to flatten the differences between humans and drive cooperation in the face of climate disaster. When the internet failed, they developed technology to push the continents back together into a Pangaea, hoping that proximity would foster understanding. When that failed, scientists created a telepathic machine that could read the thought patterns of the entire population - essentially an artificial collective unconscious - so they could discover some kind of consensus they could build on. The only consensus the machine could find, in the face of seemingly inescapable societal and environmental collapse, was a belief that there was no chance of a future. People feared the existence of human diversity, fell back on nostalgia for an idealized past, and in doing so had unintentionally formed a death cult - essentially, they had embraced fascism.

Quietus, the season of death, was created by this artificial collective unconscious to grant humanity's shared wish for an apocalypse. The game uses its theme of illusions versus the truth to argue that while the logical course of action in the face of dire news and statistics is to accept that the odds of surviving and building a better world are infinitesimally small, we have to ignore the facts and push on to survive and build that better world regardless, because there's no chance of it happening if we give up at the starting gate. It's remarkably similar to FFXIV Endwalker's dichotomy of despair versus hope and message that forcing ourselves to feel a false hope just to stave off despair is better than allowing ourselves to despair and therefore not even trying to fix things. Even Harvestella's final boss is very reminiscent of FFXIV's Endsinger boss in theming and design. Which I don't mind and don't really think is a case of one developer copying the other; this stuff is just on everyone's minds lately.

When I first began describing Harvestella as "post-truth," I did so entirely as a comparison to the rise in political lies spread and accepted by the right-wing that has been widely discussed since the beginning of the Trump era. As the game justified its theming, however, I found myself beginning to want to embrace "post-truth" as a much broader and even somewhat positive characteristic of our era. We're quickly reaching a point where believing that there can be a future at all is a lie we knowingly tell ourselves, which was the point Harvestella makes. But in a time where we are becoming increasingly aware of the presence of hegemonic narratives influencing our perceptions of reality, just pushing back against those narratives can be, to an extent, post-truth. Harvestella has almost no character creation options, but it does allow the player to choose body type, voice, and pronouns entirely independently of each other. I'd originally seen this as a nice little addition to a game in a genre that often does embrace queerness, but now I'm starting to view it as an opening manifesto. From a certain point of view, queerness is a sort of engagement in post-truth. We all are who we say we are, hegemonic narratives be damned.

The secret class you earn in Harvestella for building up your farm enough is the Aristotle, a kind of mage that can fight using the four classical - or Aristotelian - elements, fire, water, wind, and earth, which pop up throughout the game. One character from our own time finds everyone's acceptance of the classical elements frustrating when she knows about the existence of the periodic table. But because she's in a world where people only know of four elements, those elements function as the philosopher Aristotle had theorized they had. Even after your protagonist learns that there is a far greater range to science than their society has learned, they are an Aristotle anyway, drawing energy from only four elements and using that energy to cast powerful magic. Our hegemonic narratives may limit our scope, but as a bloc, we have the power to shape those narratives and change the scope. Our collective imagination can construct Truth, which is an incomprehensible amount of power that's mostly been used to oppress and harm, but we could, in theory, turn around and use for good.

I'm not sure where the line is - if there is one at all - where postmodernity ends and this post-truth begins, but I'm starting to begin to think of things in those terms. I think there's some real potential in exploring the limits and capacity of this framework, and I guess I have a simple farming sim and a simple RPG to thank.

So, Harvestella. It's an overpriced, low-budget but pretty little game with some cringeworthy voice lines, some fun farming, and a story that's possibly impacted how I think about the world from here on out. 7/10.

#harvestella #square enix

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littlespoonevan · 2 years

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one thing i’ve noticed lately about the difference between writing fanfiction and writing original fiction is that when you’re writing original fiction every word has to be deliberate. i remember when i first learned about the concept of chekov’s gun i always thought it was more relevant for mysteries or specifically referencing important plot points but actually, this notion of “don’t put that there unless it’s there for a reason” weighs on me with pretty much every sentence i write when it comes to my original work. in contrast, i’m 99% sure this has never once occurred to me when writing fanfic.

and none of this is to say that fanfic is less credible or that i don’t try as hard when it comes to fic writing but more it’s an explanation for why i often find fanfic easier to write??? like, if i’m writing fic i can absolutely write 30k off the top of my head and i don’t have to question what this character is saying or what they’d do in this situation because i already know. i have a wealth of episodes that tell me. i know their intentions and their motivations and their feelings towards characters a, b and c. so it’s easy for me to make quick judgement calls. i can write “they’re gonna do x because of y” without planning it all out first because i understand them and i know my reader does too.

even if we have different fanon interpretations we both know this character so our engagement with the story relies on this implicit agreement that we Get It. you’ll get why i had that character say that line and you’ll get why this argument happened bc something very similar has probably happened in canon before so there’s no need for further explanation/extrapolation.

but with original fiction you, the author, have created these characters from scratch and you need to decide why they act the way they do. even if it isn’t spelled out for the reader in the first chapter you still need to know. you have to think both ahead of and behind the story you’re telling. you have to spend so much time constructing their life and their world so that you can get to that place of writing them freely. but that can be so extremely tiring????? because inevitably you’ll have to stop and figure out if what you’re writing is “in character” for this character you’ve created. you’ll revise and change details and that means trawling through the work again to make sure what’s been written so far is consistent. and there’s just so much more stop-starting with it all, y’know??

like, sometimes i get frustrated when i look at my original work because, aside from times where i’ve had extreme writers’ block, almost every fic i’ve ever written has taken me less than 6 weeks to write. so i get annoyed and think “a novel really only needs to be 60-80k, that should take you two months” except it won’t. except i have drafts that are 5, 10, 20k that i started literal years ago and are still unfinished because i don’t know this world inside out like i do the show i’ve been consuming for x amount of seasons. so i have to take my time and sit with it and make plans and outline and redraft in ways i’ve previously never had to.

and idk i just feel like, the more i try to navigate writing both original fiction and fanfiction at the same time, the more i feel like we really can’t compare the two at all beyond the fact that they’re both written mediums. we can look at a script and a novel and acknowledge the fact that they’re similar but they serve different purposes and have different strengths and i can’t help looking at original fiction and fanfiction the same way now???? they’re very similar and i’ve definitely read fics that feel like novels (or are better than them in some cases) but i think ultimately, for all their overlap, they really are two completely different genres, y’know?

#writing adventures #this has absolutely no point i'm just musing #and complaining to myself about the fact that original fic is so hard #hence why i'm taking a break and writing the single parents au askdjfh

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thebopkabbalah · 1 year

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NOTES ON TELEVISION P.2

in chicken pox isolation, despite a long distance from t.v. shows in general and a will to read/watch films, i did end up consuming a lot of television. so here we go - this is from the last week or so, dating between 27th november to 4th december 2022. there are spoilers below.

house of the dragon finale (repeat watch, hotstar)

i rewatched the entire season and was very satisfied with spending more time in the GRRM universe, though here i’ll talk only about the finale. for an ending, it’s a pretty standard and solid delivery that, on my first watch, really kept the tension building towards the latter half very well -- on my second watch, though i knew what Vhaghar was going to do, just the visual of her overhead was enough to make me tense again. couldn’t quite connect with rhaenyra and daemon as a unit this time, especially when he does what he does. it seems a little out of line - was it just for the sake of unpredictability? or was this a development of his characterization? i don’t know. i think one more extra thing i love about HoTD was the music, the world building and production/costuming...just absolutely excellent. it’s still not quite as lived in a world as game of thrones but it could reach there. i think they need to stop hurrying so much? GODDAMN EMAA D’ARCY IS SO HOT. i’m very happy to see non-binary folks on screen. cannot wait for season 2, i’m a bit obsessed with the GRRM universe. ugh.

the crown season 5 (netflix)

let’s be honest, this was a pretty shitty/average season. nobody except the actor playing diana was the least bit convincing - the camilla actor looked shockingly like her so really well done there. but the queen, the king, charles etc etc very average. i also found the narrative building/construction incredibly weak, loose and disconnected - what were the episodes moving towards? there was no direction to what i was watching and mostly, i skipped through the season only pausing to see diana. the season also seemed very pro charles-camilla, which was very odd and unsettling. definitely a waste of time, even someone as fucking brilliant as lesley manville seemed wasted in the show!!!! who cares to be honest, we could put this money into more interesting historical / period dramas now, really. awfully done.

interview with the vampire (downloaded)

well well well, what a sexy little romp this was. there are some incredibly compelling things about it - um, jacob fkn andersen for a start??? wow. also the beauty of being able to say a queer black man in a historical-supernatural setting, dealing with so many things, it was really fucking wonderful. sam reid is also incredible charismatic, would find myself wondering - ugh, why am i rooting so much for him??? the costuming was off the fucking charts. their child-sister was alright, improved later but not convinced by the actor tbh. i was also unconvinced by the lack of sexual intimacy/queer sex (hello???), it was always only ever suggested types, i thought the whole dubai set-up was too weirdly done, i didn’t find the actor playing Rashid/Armand very convincing or compelling (props for muslim representation but couldn’t we have picked another actor??) and the journalist also felt a little one note, not very COMPELLING.....especially for a show with so much promise!!!!!! music was lovely, the sexy vibes were almost perfect - but we could have seen more lore, more world building? idk. lots of fantastic queer, race and class politics!!! a mixed bag of being horny, happy and confused!!!

dead to me season 3 (netflix)

this one started out okay, a little too on the nose with the hit and runs and overlaps to be honest but now it’s really dragging itself. it’s also like too much put together without much thought? jen is pregnant, judy has cancer, they’re making all kinds of claims to the fbi and the police? it’s getting harder and harder to take this universe seriously. before all the orchestrated chaos that seems to have little impact on the viewer, i was actually laughing. the dialogues were great first half, despite the hit and run gag etc, and i was living for this amazing female best-friendship on screen (YOU ARE MY FUCKING HEART! is something i want to scream at my best friend one day too!!!! its such a great moment) - but ya halfway through it seems to lose its steam, purpose and earlier energy?? why does jen’s house start looking like an ad shoot??? why is the fbi made up of only one agent who lives in a motel?? it’s like the show wants to create a number of different rules for its universe - campy? dark comedy? telenovela-esque?- idk, something’s off this time round -- or maybe i’m projecting too much realism? let’s see, two episodes left now.

wednesday (netflix)

ah! wheuew! after hearing so much from my flatmate, being shown that incredible dance sequence and the praise from my cousin as well as constant tumblr trending, i watched this in the span of a day or so. shouldn’t be so proud of super fast consumption but this was really very good!!! nearly excellent!!!! the music is absolutely exceptional, i will be hearing jenna ortega’s cello solo in my head for a while. she’s also absolutely PHENONEMAL. i love her and enid’s friendship, i was crying at that hug bitches. other characters are also great, though not given a lot of time to develop/gather depth. do agree that the black characters felt very detached from their racial identites even as racial politics is part of the show??? it was a lil weird. gwendolyn christie is a gorgeous one, though she stood often in only one pose. was this deliberate? catherine zeta jones did not fully convince me - but the 1990s casting was too good. that bee friend of hers was ok ok, some of the twists were expected, some were wildcards which i enjoyed. i really enjoyed this so much, surprisingly - i don’t really see the CW ties that many critics have pointed out, the tone is very much its own/certain/great. jenna ortega holds the whole damn thing together so perfectly. i would contest that the CGI/production is sometimes a little off and the narrative is weak in places, even the dialogue falls short at moments...but damn it, i enjoyed it so much. now im going to go back to my typewriter too!!!!!!

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uglycourage · 2 years

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MIFIRA UPDATE

My laptop got the infamous blue screen of death recently, so until I can afford a new one I am without that resource for the foreseeable future.

But this is okay as the motivation for MIFIRA seems to come in cycles. In truth, I’ve been distracted the past couple months with finding another job, detoxing/withdrawal (the joys of being an addict), applying for State healthcare so I can finally afford to see a psychiatrist, and my brain in general jumping from hyper fixation to hyper fixation because it needs to constantly be stimulated. So, it’s been tough for MIFIRA to have the solo spotlight when there’s so many others points of distraction.

But the passion for this story will never die, especially when I have such encouraging, thoughtful, and infinitely kind readers as yourself. I say it all the time in my author’s notes… this story would not be as far along as it is without you all. I wouldn’t be nearly as motivated, nearly as confident uploading. I love hearing your thoughts, positive or constructive. I love wondering what’s going to happen with you, conveniently forgetting that I already know. I love the love you have for this story as it gets me to fall in love with it in ways I didn’t know I could. It’s not even a question that if I ever publish an original novel, y’all are getting a shoutout. Screw the preface chapter where I talk about the writing process of my book, imma list all your usernames. Yes, that includes you, username satansdeliciousasshole666.

On the note of writing and updating without a laptop- Ill be handwriting future chapters and then stopping at my local library to type up and post them. Wild saying that, it’s been almost a decade since I’ve had to do things that way. I’ll be intrigued to see how my writing varies between being able to speed type on my laptop vs. manually and patiently writing by hand. I’ve always preferred the former because my thoughts naturally race and a laptop has always been able to keep up with them. But many writers swear by the latter method… I’m curious to see the difference, if any.

The bottom line is I am working on the story, it just might be a lengthier process for now, having to do everything by hand.

Sorry this post doesn’t bring better news, I really wanted to get chapters uploaded in correspondence with the summer season being upon us (in the northern hemisphere anyway). So that it seems like Jack and Celine’s adventures are more plausible to envision happening all the way up in Maine.

I’m about to head to the library now to reread some former chapters. There is always something to re-edit and that helps me get back into the groove of a story.

Happy almost summer, thank you for sticking with me for so long, and I wish you all a safe and lovely weekend ✨

#mifira

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ofadistantfuture · 4 months

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Dear future one,

I am not loved easily. How quickly I resist it when the hairs on the back of my neck prickle with its premonition. Does he like me? Is he interested? What of my feelings?

You know how I fight it so often. Almost with sheer belligerence I bark at the attraction to back off. How dare it sully this friendship with its cruel constructed hopes and expectations. How it has caused me so much heartbreak receiving and giving rejection. Oh, I don’t know how to embrace it and I’m so, so sorry. I may have turned your feelings into vile unwanted things because of how much I don’t want my own.

Would you understand that very broken, very shattered part of me? How I have longed to love and being left hanging out to dry on a precipice? Then seeing someone offer me their affection I am so spooked I abandon them to the same fate? My initial reaction to the thought that he is pursuing something with me is ‘stop’ and ‘why’ and ‘I can’t’.

Stop drawing close to me. Stop sending me messages that show you’re thinking of me and inviting me to places just the two of us. Stop getting nervous and hesitating around me and listening to me. Stop being kind to me. Stop asking me for advice or what I think or what I want.

Why would you even want to try if I’m so closed and abrasive? Why do you even like me, are drawn to me? Why be gentle with me when I may not be gentle with you at all? Why believe anything I have to say? Why put in this effort if you’re going to be disappointed in the end?

I can’t commit to liking you. Or even being attracted to you. I can’t overcome this fear that has shaken my confidence that I’m a terrible, terrible judge of character and friendship. I can’t be sure I even like you, can’t be sure that your flaws are not the only things I’ll find to push you away. I can’t love right now because I’m scared and I’m scared because I loved and it hurt.

But if I could tell my shaking heart something it is this: you will be healed. It is a promise. Maybe not now, not today, not in time for the next boy that comes around. You will be healed of this fear and this pain and you will be able to love. Every tear wiped away.

But don’t mistaken the fact that you’re not sure if you love now to not being loved. Because this boy is proof that you are loved, regardless of who you are and have been, God gave him to you in this moment as a sign of his love to you. You who are filled with such sadness and hatred and Mara have been given a Ruth and a Boaz to stand beside you and remind you that you have not been forgotten.

So I’m telling my heart this, and I’m telling you this too: you are loved. You are loved even when you are unlovely. God does not let us only be loved when we are useful and healthy and reciprocating. He lets us be loved constantly and maybe it is surprising and bewildering to be experiencing love right now. But this boy is proof to me that I am loved even when I cannot love back. He is a grace in this season, even if I can never reciprocate I can be thankful for that kind of sign.

So, I am proof to you. That you are loved in whatever season you’re in. Whether is your finest or your worst, whether you’re feeling peak confidence or more unsure of yourself than ever. I love you. I want to care for you and challenge you and encourage you. I want to give you the courage to face yourself and the world and be brave and honest when you’re scared. I want to confide in you and trust you. I want to hold your hand.

Whatever season I find you in, whatever season I find my heart in, I love you. It’s not a perfect promise, but it is a promise to try.

- J

#2024

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littlemisspascal · 2 years

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Mailroom Crush Part 7

Pairing: Javier Peña x Female Reader

Word Count: 3000

Summary: A story about Reader who works in the mailroom of the embassy and her encounters with a handsome, brown-eyed DEA agent.

Warnings: Language, fluff, angst, Reader sits on Javier’s lap, inaccurate depiction of an embassy mailroom, this is only loosely based on canon of Season 3 so the timeline does not 100% match the show’s

Author Note: Thank you everybody for your amazing support and encouragement! I appreciate every word and I hope y’all enjoy this segment 💝

PART 6 / PART 8

(gif made in canva by me)

For all the letters and packages you successfully deliver, items will still inevitably wind up getting lost. You do your best to double-check the names on the labels and envelopes match the recipients’, but sometimes papers stick together or the handwriting is messy and they’re accidentally sent to the wrong office or placed in the wrong mail slot.

You deal with hundreds of deliveries per week and although you hate to admit it, you’ve learned to accept the fact you can’t account for all of their whereabouts 24/7. Sometimes it isn’t even your fault the items are lost. The embassy staff are forgetful creatures, creating unorganized piles on their desks or feeding dozens of documents into the shredder at once.

Point is, mail is easily lost.

But being easily lost does not guarantee never being found again. Sometimes those missing items have a funny way of being rediscovered. Once somebody taped a letter to the mailroom door with a note saying it had been mixed in with their bundle accidentally.

So now when something’s missing–be it mail, pens, your car keys, whatever–you cling to the hope of it returning instead of drowning in worry over its disappearance. You’ve learned to become observant, alert, mind and eyes sharp for the tiniest of clues. But you’ve also developed the belief that if what is lost is meant to return to you, then one way or another it will.

The time’s verging on eleven o’clock when you step out of the mailroom to grab more paper from the embassy’s supply closet. Usually the cupboard in the mailroom is fully stocked with everything you need to get through your night shift, but apparently there must have been a bunch of documents printed during the day shift because you couldn’t find even a single spare sheet on any of the shelves.

As your footsteps echo off the tile floor with an annoying clicking sound, you contemplate stopping by the vending machine for a soda or maybe even a candy bar. There’s nobody around except for you so it’s not like you’ll face judgment if you indulge in your chocolate craving. The cleaning crew is already finished with this floor, and you figure if Javier was going to drop by then he would’ve already.

Your little late night rendezvous with Javier in the mailroom aren’t usually preplanned. He either shows up or he doesn’t. On the nights he’s absent, you’ve learned it’s most likely because he’s consumed with sifting through his boxes of files on the Cali Cartel, oblivious to the passage of time and the rest of the world, but on two memorable occasions you’ve peeked into his office and found your boyfriend asleep on the couch instead. He looks younger when he’s dreaming, peaceful almost, a lot less burdened than he looks when he’s awake.

The sight of a light on in one of the audio rooms sends your thoughts scattering. Even without being able to see inside you know it’s Javier. Throughout the week you’ve caught glimpses of him frequently going in and out, usually with Stoddard on his heels, though what exactly he’s been listening to you haven’t the faintest idea.

You pause outside the door, torn between knocking to check on him or leaving before he discovers your arrival. Ever since the misunderstanding with the photographs, Javier’s been determined to keep you distanced from his work, maintaining a carefully constructed wall around all things pertaining to the Cali Cartel. As a result, Agent Peña continues to remain an elusive side of Javier’s personality to you.

Not for a lack of trying on your part, however.

Your attempts at getting Javier to open up about his job and unload some of the stress he carries on a daily basis have all been slyly evaded like a fox outsmarting a trap. Sometimes he’ll distract you by deflecting your questions back at you, seeming to enjoy listening to you ramble on about the positives and negatives of your day, or he’ll talk about growing up in Texas, knowing you’re always interested in hearing of his life before Colombia. And if those tactics don't work then a couple of heated kisses has you turning to putty in his hands, unable to remember your own name let alone those of the Cali Cartel leaders.

Once you stopped by his office during your lunch break, bringing him an extra piece of cake you’d packed with the intention of sharing it. He’d smiled at your impromptu visit, leaning over his desk to press a kiss to your cheek, but he’d also made a point to shut all the open folders he’d been browsing before joining you on the couch.

Trying to erase the lines of tension on his face, you’d said in-between bites, “I’ve watched a couple of true crime documentaries, Javi. I highly doubt there’s anything in those files that would give me nightmares.”

His expression tightened, eyes turning dark, looking at you like you had no idea what you were talking about. Like you were hopelessly naive and disillusioned.

“Oh, tesoro, I wish that were true.”

Biting your lip, you surrender to your selfish desires and knock twice. You wait a beat, then mentally slap yourself because duh he won’t be able to hear you if he’s wearing headphones. The doorknob twists without resistance when you grab it and you poke your head inside, eyes immediately finding Javier sitting at the sole desk in the room listening to a recording.

You tap his shoulder. “Hey.”

Javier jolts, a flicker of alarm crossing his face before his expression relaxes when he realizes it’s you. He slides the headphones down around his neck and asks, “What’re you doing here?”

“I saw the light was on. Thought I’d say hi,” you answer simply, though your gaze strays from his tired face towards the audio equipment on the desk, noting the various wires and buttons. There’s a label on one of the tape reels with the name Christina Jurado on it. You recognize her as the blonde photographed with Javier who he claimed is married to a banker with big ties to the Cali Cartel.

You raise an eyebrow. “What’re you doing here?”

He sets his hands on your waist, lips curling into a pleased smirk. “You came all this way just to say hello? I’m touched, tesoro.”

He’s doing it again, you think even as you wrap your hands around his wrists, finding comfort in his pulse beneath your fingertips, and move to stand closer between his spread legs. Sneaky little fox.

You reach out a hand and his eyes shut in expectation of you caressing his face, something you’re quite fond of doing during your moments of alone time with him, but instead you tap a fingernail against the side of the headphones.

“You wiretapped her phone, didn’t you?”

Javier’s eyes fly open, lips parting with surprise. He shouldn’t be though. Despite being a lowly mail clerk, you know not everything that happens in the embassy is legal. It’s practically an open secret around here that everyone, including the ambassador himself, have all bent or outright broken the law in order to get the desired result of a positive outcome. Politics have been and always will be messy, one of the abundant reasons you stick to sorting mail instead of seeking any kind of promotion.

The grip on your waist tightens and his mouth opens, a protest ready on his tongue, but before he can voice it you take a page out of his playbook and sit on his thigh, fiddling with the buttons of his shirt over his chest, and look up at him through your eyelashes.

“I know you’re trying to protect me,” you say quietly, “but please no more lies, Javi darling. Don’t make me worry about you more than I already do. Let me in.”

Javier’s jaw clenches, mulling over your plea. You know this is hard for him, that he’s doing all he can to keep you away from the darkness of his job, to prevent a target being painted on your back, and here you are begging to jump right into the deep end of it all with him.

You can’t ask him to quit his job. Partly because you don’t want to feel the hurtful sting of rejection when he chooses it over you, but mostly because you know if he did quit, if he did stop chasing after bad guys and let them get away with their sins, then he’d never know peace. Not truly. He might fake it for a while, smiling at you over grilled cheese dinners and thinking up ridiculous puns to make you laugh, but deep down his desire for justice would remain unsettled. He’d grow to resent you. And then he’d leave you.

An alternative option would be you leaving him first. Sever all emotional ties and go back to your safe (and lonely) bubble of existence you lived in before dating him. But you tried that already and those two weeks apart were some of your worst days in recent memory.

The fact is, Javier’s a part of your heart now, wrapped up in your bones, as necessary in your life as the oxygen you breathe. You’re willing to take the plunge and walk with him through the dark if that’s the only way to stay together. Perhaps you could even help him find the light on the other side. Question is though, will he continue keeping you at arm’s length or will he accept your choice?

The gentle touch of Javier’s hand upon your cheek has your eyes locking onto his. You say nothing, just lean into his palm and pretend your heart’s not pumping a frantic beat in your chest.

“Tesoro,” he starts, thumb brushing against your skin. “You’re asking me for something dangerous.”

“I’m asking for you to talk to me,” you lightly amend.

There’s a lengthy pause that follows your words, long enough you start to feel defeated in your endeavor, but then he nods. “Okay,” he says, reluctance so thick in his voice it’s practically dripping from the word. He swallows, tries again. “Okay, you want to know what’s going on then I’ll tell you. No more hiding.”

And then it’s like the floodgates open up. He starts talking, brutal in his honesty of all the nitty-gritty details, telling you about finding Gilberto Rodriguez hiding in a crawl space beneath the stairs of his bathtub, and the mounting pressure of trying to take down the other cartel leaders before Gilberto finds a way to slip out of jail, and the discovery of Franklin Jurado as the cartel’s banker which led to wiretapping Franklin’s wife’s phone with hopes he’d slip up and reveal something important. Except he didn’t and time’s fucking running out and desperate times call for desperate measures.

You sit on his lap and listen silently throughout the whole explanation, keeping your face carefully composed even when he brings up his meeting with Christina at the bar, how he’d attempted to flirt with her in order to get her to spill information. Javier holds onto your hand during that part, lacing and unlacing his fingers through yours like he’s trying to soothe you both. Admittedly, it does help you stay grounded in the moment, especially when he confesses to visiting Christina a second time earlier this week to convince her to make her husband flip—a visit he had not so much as hinted one word about to you prior to this conversation.

There’s a small part of you that feels slighted by the tardiness of this revelation, but the intrigue and relief flooding through your system are stronger sensations. Javier’s finally handed you all the puzzle pieces you’ve been missing, trusting you to see the whole gruesome picture instead of just the pretty parts.

“So,” you finally speak after Javier’s gone quiet and you’ve absorbed the overload of facts. “Was your second attempt at convincing her successful?”

Javier’s mouth twists. “Kind of.”

“What does that mean?”

“She said she’d think about it.” He sighs through his nose. “Then Stoddard got a recording of her talking to Jurado this afternoon, trying to persuade him but it didn’t go well. Here, listen for yourself.”

Javier lifts the headphones off his neck and hands it over. After you adjust the speakers comfortably over your ears, he leans over to press a button and then a woman’s voice—Christina’s, you presume—is all you can hear.

“Maybe we have more options than we think, Franklin,” she says, a nervous lilt to her tone. You imagine her pacing while holding the phone, too restless to sit still.

“What do you mean, ‘more options’?” Franklin counters, tense and suspicious.

“You know things. You know about the organization, how it all works and—”

“You want me to be a rat? Have you been talking to someone?!”

You wince as the couple dissolves into an argument, voices increasing in volume and overlapping, vying to subdue each other into submission. Barely able to understand them anymore, you start to reach up to remove the headphones except then Franklin’s voice goes abruptly polite, clearly talking to somebody else on his end.

“Danki masha danki, right? Thank you.” A pause. Then, speaking again to Christina, the banker says, “That was room service. I’ve got to go, but this discussion isn’t over, bonita. I’ll call you later.”

The audio equipment beeps, signaling the tape has reached its end.

“What language was he speaking at the end?” you ask, looking at Javier with furrowed brows. “I’ve never heard anything like it before.”

“I asked around, turns out it’s Papiamentu,” he answers, taking the headphones from you and setting them on the desk. Seeing the lingering confusion still apparent on your face, he elaborates, “It’s the local language in Curaçao.”

“Oh,” you blink, not what you’d been expecting as an answer. “So…I guess it’s safe to say he’s probably doing business there? I bet Curaçao has a lot of banks.”

“A lot of fucking banks,” Javier agrees with a nod. “There’s also a luxury resort there with a guest using one of Jurado’s aliases.”

You bite your lip, unsure what you’re supposed to say to that, and Javier is just staring at you, a look on his face like he’s hoping you’ll connect the imaginary dots, sparing him from having to do it for you.

It seems fitting this moment is happening within such a private space. You and Javier have a habit of finding these places—the supply closet, his apartment, the mailroom past sunset—where you can just be yourselves without any witnesses.

However, this moment feels different than previous ones. Heavier, somehow, like the air is filled with dread, reminding you of being caught in a rainstorm without an umbrella. You don’t like it.

“What’s wrong?” you ask, unable to stand the silence anymore. “This is the big break you’ve been waiting for, right? You know where he is now so you can–”

Oh.

Your shoulders slump, realization striking you square in the chest. “You’re going to go after him.”

Javier’s hands tighten around your middle, wanting to pull you closer but having to resist because there’s absolutely no way cuddling would be comfortable in this chair.

“Yeah, tesoro,” he admits softly. “I have to.”

You could argue, tell him that technically no, he doesn’t have to be the specific agent who makes the arrest. You could, but you don’t because you know this mission of dismantling the Cali Cartel has evolved from being another career defining moment for Javier as a DEA agent into something profoundly personal for him. Something he has to see through to the very end.

“When are you leaving?” you ask, toying with his sleeves rolled up around his elbows.

“Tomorrow afternoon.”

You inhale a deep breath and close your eyes for a moment, trying to make everything slow down, if only for a few precious seconds.

“I was going to come by your place in the morning and tell you,” Javier continues, voice still so soft it almost pains you to hear him speak.

Eyes remaining closed, the question slips out of your mouth before you can stop it, “You weren’t going to tell me tonight?”

“I couldn’t bring myself to. You’re on shift and I didn’t want to distract you by dropping that kind of news on you.”

You look at him now, eyebrows climbing incredulously up your forehead. “So, what, you were gonna tell me you’re leaving the country to chase down a member of one of the biggest cartels in the world over coffee and donuts?”

Javier’s silence is confirmation enough that’s pretty much exactly what he was going to do. He looks everywhere but your eyes, uncomfortable now that you’ve managed to put a crack in his armor. You have hopes one day he’ll have no need to wear it around you at all, that he’ll feel safe enough to do so.

And it suddenly occurs to you then, that he was going to bottle the news of his leaving as long as possible to keep you from being hurt by it. God, this man…

“Oh, Javi darling,” you breathe, the amount of affection you feel for him threatening to choke you.

“I’ll come back as soon as I can,” he promises, squeezing you again, mistaking the emotion in your voice as disappointment.

When things go missing, it’s your belief if what is lost is meant to return to you, then one way or another it will. It’s a belief that requires a high amount of patience. To wait, and wait, and continue waiting for an outcome that may never come to pass.

Luckily for you, your job has taught you how to be a master of patience.

And if anybody’s worth waiting an eternity for, it’s Javier.

You offer him a small smile, leaning in close to murmur against his lips the same words you’d said to him last time his job stole him away from you.

“Good luck, Javi.”

#Javier peña #javier peña x you #javier pena x you #javier pena fanfic #mailroom crush #my fic #my writing #pedrostories

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mrsmaybank · 3 years

Text

Crushing - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

“Reid, stop giving JJ’s intern bedroom eyes. It fuckin’ weirds me out.”

A/N: I love baby genius, season one Reid so much. I wanted to give him a soulmate. Soulmate is you: shy and also a baby genius. Okay, thanks for reading. This was honestly just for me.

CW: Implied Smut, Mild Cursing, shitty writing

“Who...Who is that?” Dr. Spencer Reid, debatably the wordiest boy Derek Morgan had ever met, was suddenly at a loss for words. Maybe it was your perfectly sculpted face, your shoes, the copy of The Kreutzer Sonata held to your chest, your chest, or maybe a mix of it all. Whatever it was, at sight of you walking through the office doors, he was stripped of his ability to speak.

“That’s JJ’s new intern.” Morgan said plainly, before noticing the completely enamored look on his friend’s face. “What, pretty boy?” Reid couldn’t even be bothered to reply. He was too busy studying every detail of your frame.

“You think she’s cute or something kid?” Morgan playfully jabbed his shoulder, Spencer’s face instantly flushing an embarrassing shade of red.

“What?!” He shrieked, “I-no! That’s not..No!” That’s a lie.

“I just..I didn’t know JJ was getting an intern.” That though, was true.

“She’s supposed to be pretty impressive. Let’s go meet her.” he started in the direction of the coffee stand, where you and JJ had begun chatting. Before Spencer could protest out of his shyness, he was being dragged along.

“Morgan,” JJ smiled, “Spence,” she nodded in his direction, “This is Y/N Y/L/N. My godsent savior.” JJ beamed in your direction.

You smiled more sheepishly then you would’ve liked, muttering a “Hopefully.” that got a laugh from Morgan and a “Oh, please.” from JJ, but nothing from the man in the glasses. You did your best not to read into it.

“Derek Morgan.” the muscular agent extended his hand to shake yours, an offer you timidly but happily accepted.

The taller, lankier, younger, incredibly cute man next to him stuffed one of his hands in his pocket and shifted uncomfortably with a small wave, “I’m uh, Doctor Spencer Reid, oh! Uh, you don’t have to, uh call me Doctor. No..” He shook his head, “Just Spencer is fine.” He looked at you with wide eyes that sent butterflies berserk in your stomach and swiped his tongue in between his lips that only made them go crazier. JJ had told you all about the team. About the magnificently brilliant Dr. Spencer Reid, his 3 PhDs and eidetic memory, and all the other quirks you’d have to know in order to work with him, but had failed to mention how utterly hot he was. You felt a crush hijacking your system already. Dear god.

“It’s nice to meet you both.” Your hands gripped your book tighter as you shifted onto your tiptoes, “I’ve heard really exceptional things.”

The conversation was set to continue, but Morgan and JJ were summoned by Hotch to the closed doors of his office. Leaving the resident genius and you starting at each other with tight lip smiles.

Spencer started first, “The Kreutzer Sonata is great.” He excitedly continued, “It uh, it actually used to be a pretty bold book to carry around. After the work had been forbidden in Russia by censors, there was actually a mimeographed version that was widely circulated. Then in 1890, the United States Post Office Department prohibited the mailing of newspapers containing serialized installments of it too. Theodore Roosevelt even called Tolstoy a-”

His enthusiasm was beyond endearing. You finished for him with a soft smile, "Sexual moral pervert.”

Spencer’s lips upturned in a smile. It was rare somebody in the office could finish his sentences. And he couldn’t help but replay the crass words being said in your soft voice. He felt a crush hijacking his system already. Dear god.

“Most people don’t recognize it in the original Russian.” Spencer heard you say.

“Most people probably wouldn’t recognize it in English.” he retorted.

You laughed, “Yeah, you’re right.”

Spencer wasn’t even kidding. “I’m not joking.” He shook his head. “It’s unfortunate how many people aren’t even vaguely familiar with Tolstoy.”

“It is.” you agreed. “You went to Caltech, correct?”

He smiled, “Yes.”

“I almost did too. Decided last minute on Columbia.”

“You went to Columbia?” he asked.

“I just graduated.”

“How old are you?” he asked before quickly correcting himself, “I’m sorry! That was forward! I am not...I’m not trying to undermine your studies with your age, I promise. I’m just curious.”

“No! It’s okay!” You got out fast. “I’m 19. I graduated high school a little bit early.”

“Me too.” He smiled. “12, actually.”

Your eyes went wide, “12?”

“Yes, um, in a Las Vegas public high school.” He winced, but the self-deprecation somehow came out charming, “I uh,” His eyes narrowed, “didn’t go to a lot of parties.”

That made you wholeheartedly laugh. “Me neither! I graduated at 15, which you know is the age everybody else starts. It created a really weird dynamic because the older kids in my grade didn’t like me, but the underclassmen my age really didn’t like me.”

Instead of the laugh you were expecting, Spencer just gave you a pensive stare.

“Um..I can’t see why. I think you’re very likeable.” The compliment would’ve been strange exchanged by anybody other than Spencer to you.

“Wait till you get to know me.” You said it through a smile but so softly you were afraid he might not be able to hear it, but he did.

And that was confirmed when he flashed you the most incredible, toothy grin you’d ever seen. “I uh, I doubt there will be any change in opinion.”

“Well, um, I’m sure- I think! You’re very likeable as well Dr. Reid.” you said.

“That’s what you say now.” He retorted in the same coy tone you had earlier.

You shook your head, “You’ll find I can be insufferably stubborn.”

-----------------------------------

After two weeks, there was little Spencer could do to hide his massive crush affinity for you from the team.

In the bullpen:

You guys had locked eyes and were mouthing out exchanged of No’s and Yes’s from across the room. There was an ongoing half-serious dispute about whether or not Xanthippe slept with Plato.

Morgan glided in his wheeled chair to whisper into Spencer’s ear.

“Reid, stop giving JJ’s intern bedroom eyes. It fuckin’ weirds me out.” He said, shoving files into the cabinet below Reid’s desk.

“I’m..I’m not.. I--what? Bedr--No!” Reid whisper-shouted back.

On the jet:

“Reid?” Gideon called Spencer, “Chess?” He motioned towards the board.

“Yes, sure. Just give me a second. I’m almost done. I’m reading Infinite Jest. I don’t usually enjoy literature if it isn’t classic, even less so if it’s American. But..” Spencer smiled, “Y/N likes the author.” He continued his fast-paced reading of the third-to-last chapter of the book.

Morgan and Gideon exchanged glances.

Even in front of you:

You opened a sugar packet and began stirring.

“De Revolutionibus Orbium Coelestium is still some of the best work on heliocentric theory out there, I think. Copernicus knew what he was talking about!” You spun on your heels to see Reid’s face contorted in disagreement. You giggled, “Don’t give me that face! I’m right!”

He took a sip of his coffee as to keep himself quiet. “Listen, cosmological theory is for…”

But the pair of you were interrupted, it was Elle, standing behind you and in front of Spencer.

“New skirt?” Elle asked as you turned, back now facing Reid. She was pouring herself a cup of coffee too.

“Yes!” You excitedly nodded. “You like it?”

Elle looked up and down, but not at you. The judgmental eyes were for the man behind you. She pursed her lips, “Not just me.”

The only face redder than yours was Reid’s.

-----------------------------------

Nights spent in a bar after a case that had dragged on far too long was nothing new, but the energy tonight was especially light. Gideon had refused, but everybody else was just relaxed, even Hotch, and the team just got happier at each other's happiness. It was great, really. As Hotch and Morgan sipped on whiskey, JJ and Penelope had already downed four sugary, colorful cocktails and were in a whispered fit of giggles. Elle and Spencer settled on a tamer option of an IPA Spencer couldn’t name.

“SPENCER!” Penelope excitedly shouted, “Y/N is literally you! You’re both adorable! You’re both geniuses! You’re both young!” She drew on her rant, “And if you have a crush on her you should just tell her!” JJ’s eyes widened in embarrassment as she tried to cover Penelope’s mouth.

Morgan and Elle erupted in soft laughter while Hotch cracked an uncharacteristically amused smile.

“Spence, I swear, I didn’t say that! I just...I may have mentioned how happy you get every time she’s around! And how you guys can talk for literally hours!” JJ defended, her words slurring in silly drunkenness.

Spencer rolled his eyes. This wasn’t the first time they teased him about you, and it probably wouldn’t be the last time either.

“I don’t have a crush on her! We just….we like the same things! It gives us a lot to talk about.”

“Yeah?” Morgan said through a laugh, “And what is it that boy and girl wonder talk about so much?”

“Well, uh.. a lot of things. But I find she gets the most excited when we are discussing the theories of postmodernism, in that apparent realities are actually just social constructs and veritable realities are subject to change, and uh... we like to talk about linguistics….political philosophy….history... mathematic theory...and uh, oh! Doctor Who.”

Spencer was blushing and spoke about you like a teenage girl did their boyband crush, and the team noticed. They didn’t even need to say it out loud. Spencer gathered from the way they looked back at him.

“I heard she lent you a book too, Reid.” Hotch said before taking a sip from his glass.

“Yes! She did!” He smiled, “It was her copy of Pale Fire. She has an impressive collection of 19th century Russian literature. All in its original dialect! Some of it’s even annotated, which usually would annoy me but since it’s her thoughts and notes I sort of find it endearing.”

“Dr. Reid is endeared!” Greenaway shrieked.

“Yeah,” he nodded, pushing his glasses up a little higher on his nose, “I find her incredibly endearing.”

“Y’all that sounded like a dorky love confession.” Morgan said as the team erupted in laughter and Reid’s head fell in a smile. There was no point in denying it anymore: He really, really liked you.

--------------------------------------

Within two months, you and Spencer had finally put your shyness aside, and spent a very lovely evening at watching an orchestra at the Smithsonian Music, and sharing noodles at your favorite Thai restaurant. And then you guys spent some time on your couch. And then in your bed. And then in the shower. And then in the kitchen. You were both very sexually frustrated.

For the following two months, as soon as you both stepped out of the office, it was very, very hard to keep your hands off each other. Could either of you help it though? Teenage geniuses don’t experience parties, or football games, or clumsy sex. The time was perfect to make up for it.

And you guys did. The sex part at least. “Football involves a lot of dirt. And germs. And sweat.”

“Oh my god!” you shrieked. His hands were in a place they found themselves more and more often: Your pants.

“Does it feel good?” he asked, continuing his pattern of small circles on that particular bundle of nerves.

“It feels great.” You nodded.

“I uh, I’ve been researching the female anatomy.”

You closed your eyes and nodded your head, but trying to focus on your boyfriends newfound intellect. “It’s fascinating, isn’t it?”

He watched your undoing with boyish adoration and curiosity before swallowing, “Very.”

“Oh fuck!” Your legs began to shake, “Spencee...I’m gonn--”

--------------------------------------------

You and Spencer just understood each other.

#drspencerreid #dr spencer reid #dr reid #criminalminds #reid criminal minds #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader #Spencerreid #spencer reid reader insert #spencer x y/n #reid x reader #spencer reid #professor reid x reader #professor reid #season1 reid

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