#it’s very complicated
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being 14 is the closest to god you’ll ever feel
#there’s something about ages 12-14 that are#just different#you feel everything so deeply#your world is so small#your future is so big#the angst is crazy#i love it by stephen king#because it’s portrayed so well in the book#also replaying tlou part one and ellie’s angst#it’s like innocence that isn’t really innocent#it’s very complicated#i would write about this forever if i could#personally i hated being 14#but there was something so fascinating about it#so precious
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When I say I have a complicated relationship with Hakuba Saguru as a character I mean this:
Fanon: God he’s so layered, deep and complex sometimes but other times he’s just a rich babygirl
MK: Silly goofy lil baby
DC: I wanna punch that damn bitch so hard, also how dare you disrespect my man Hattori like that >:(
#detective conan#hakuba saguru#it’s very complicated#like the detective koushien made me hate him#but Magic Kaito him is just so cute#arrrggghh#and we don’t talk about fanon#cause that’s a can of worms I don’t wanna open#not yet at least
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HAHA look it’s that AU thing i talked about in the post before the ask when I misread the ask for the drabble haha oopsie anyway here have angst for an AU I’ve kept to myself
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Geno was tired.
Because there was, simply, no escape.
No matter what he tried to do, no matter what he did, no matter how he gave up… this would always happen.
He didn’t know it, but he knew it. It had to have happened before. Chara was not surprised by a “glitch” in the save screen, and he hadn’t been brought up to the kid at ALL until Sans said something.
He was certain following Gaster into the void wouldn’t stop anything either. He was the only thing keeping Sans from trying the DT again to somehow send another part of them here.
… how many times had this happened?
Geno stared blankly at the grass in front of him, scarf tucked over his skull. Had anyone else been around, they probably would have seen that his eye lights had vanished- making him look as dead as he really, really should be.
But he couldn’t stop thinking about it.
How many versions of him had tried the same exact thing and then given up? Clearly there had been no real solution found. But how many had tried? How many versions of this fraction of his soul had split? How many went mad with their first runs? How many lasted longer? How many let themselves dust out of depression, how many had accepted Gaster’s proposal?
Because Gaster had also said he wasn’t the first.
A tear fell down his cheek, dripping down to land onto the floor of the save screen.
… but he felt nothing.
How many times had Chara won? How many times had they failed?
A shudder shook the save screen. Geno looked up.
Another reset.
Another timeline gone because Geno was drowning in the hidden messages of meanings of timelines past.
Another tear fell to the floor.
Another.
The human once again walked up to Flowey.
All the rage Geno had once felt, all the pain and agony…
Did it all even matter, in the end? Would it ever lead to anything, was there anything he could do that no Geno had tried before?
Geno didn’t know.
He…
He didn’t know if he wanted to know.
Geno looked back down at the grass- the same as it had been since he had arrived, no matter how he tried to destroy it in anger or tried to dig it up to see if something was hiding under it.
Always.
The.
Same.
Had someone else been there with him, they would have seen the glitches that rolled over his body. They would have seen how they changed him, how he appeared bigger than he had been. How his melted eye light was visible and actively melting. How it looked like DT was flowing down his cheeks and arms like blood, how it stained his fingertips and feet. How his eyelight was a single red ringlet that stared into your soul, how the hood that had been made of the scarf shadowed his skull, his body decorated in pixels.
But then it was gone, like it was a simple blink of an eye.
Geno sighed, having not noticed anything wrong- not seen that he had changed.
How much longer would he last…?
#writing#basically#it’s a mash up of Aftertale and Dusttale#kiiiiinda#it’s very complicated#but I wrote it bc I misread the ask so I figured I’d post it#this AU rotates in my head once every few months#lil blorbo in my closet#his name is Pesticide#or at least that’s what he changes it to when he manages to glitch out of the save screen#feel free to ask me about him#he is very much a little baby man guy#Geno#Geno sans#Geno!sans#genocide!sans#genocide sans#genocide sans gaster#UTMV AU
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our lives have been changed today and it’s the only thing i’m currently sure of
#god bless i was with my cousin the entire morning we helped each other a lot#am at home now my mom’s resting but rly she’s not well#it was her mother#had very difficult relationship#there is so much to deal with and so much to unpack#i hope i can be strong for her and for myself#i hope she didn’t suffer. apparently she didn’t bc the impact was so intense she had died instantly#that’s what i want to believe#the lorry driver who caused it is dead apparently#but it hasn’t been confirmed#i just hope she’s someplace self now i hope she knows i think abt her and i have been thinking abt her all those years we haven’t seen each#other#it’s very complicated#i’m wearing the ring i got from her today#she was in my dream today right before she died i kid u not#she said come with me and i said No#but it was peaceful#i hope she knows i actually loved her#even though we caused each other so much harm#she was a very difficult and complex woman with a long history#she was a medical doctor#i am heartbroken thank u for reading#i hope you are safe grandma
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you're in the habit of denying yourself things.
if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.
but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?
what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.
and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.
you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.
so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.
it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.
sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.
oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.
#warm up#this isn't good#writeblr#this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3#but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker#and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS#the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!?#..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much.#on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt#and medical debt#i will put that first little bit of cash#into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments)#i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option#but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver#oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs
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trick or treat :D
you get……….. a deleted scene!!!!
There used to be a character called Oscar but he was very boring 👎👎👎 I did really like this line though, sad it had to be cut :((
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kind of wild how much fiction still treats torture as something that objectively works when every study has shown that it does not work at all and is possibly the least effective way to get correct information
#at the very least it's the worst from a cost/benefit standpoint#there will always be some 'interrogation expert' faction that are all ooh we can get any information from anyone#with our pointlessly complicated and resource intensive methods of beating the shit out of people#like no the fuck you can't that's not how anything works
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correct me if i’m wrong cos i don’t watch dune.. but i’ve seen people call paul a tragic character. except isn’t he a whole white coloniser tricking indigenous poc into believing he’s a prophet to serve his own interests? that’s inherently evil that cannot be a tragic character imo
so yes that is correct that is what happens. the tragedy is that he is a sixteen year old boy who gets a vision of this happening and he is TERRIFIED and absolutely does not want this to happen at all. He does not want the holy war he does not want to be the chosen one he initially very much wants to fight alongside the fremen as equals trying to liberate themselves from their current colonizer without becoming the messiah because they have common political cause.
And then the entire second half of the first book (and the second movie) are about the concessions he makes to himself bit by bit by bit (well it’s the only way to save his mom and sister. well it’s the only way to prevent nuclear war. well he does want his revenge. well maybe he IS special.) Until by the end he has lost 100% of his humanity, fully wants to be the messiah and is willing to manipulate people into thinking so, and has declared himself duke of arrakis in his father’s name and made a play for the imperial throne.
you’re right that it’s evil. the book and these movies agree with you. the tragedy is watching a child who desperately wanted to avoid this slowly completely lose himself to it anyways. i don’t think “tragic” and “evil” are inherently mutually exclusive.
#so dune is thematically complicated. because it IS very much anti white savior and anti colonial.#but the author white american weirdo that he is is still throwing a lot of orientalism out while communicating those themes#dune
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I'm re-reading the Discworld series for reasons, and honestly the most relatable part of reading these as an adult is how many of the protagonists start out being tired, used to their little routine and vaguely disgruntled by the interruption of the Plot. Sam Vimes wants to lie drunk in a gutter and absolutely doesn't want to be arresting dragons. Rincewind is yanked into every situation he's ever encountered, though he'd much rather be lying in a gutter too. (Minus the alcohol. Plus regretting everything he's ever done said witnessed or even heard about fourth-hand in his whole life.) Granny Weatherwax is deeply suspicious of foreign parts and that includes the next town over; Nanny has leaned into the armor of "nothing ever happens to jolly grannies who terrorize their daughters-in-law and make Saucy Jokes"
Only the young people don't seem to have picked up on this---and that's fortunate, because someone has to run around making things happen, if only so Vimes and Granny and Rincewind have a reason to get up (complaining bitterly the whole time) and put it all to rights. Without Carrot, Margrat, Eric, etc. these characters don't have that reason; they're likely to stay in the metaphorical gutter and keep wondering where it all went wrong or why anything has to change.
............well, that's not quite true. You get the sense that Vetinari knows how much certain people hate the Plot. And as the person sitting behind the metaphorical lighting board of Ankh-Morpork, he takes no small pleasure in forcing the Plot-haters specifically to stand up, and say some lines.
#I finished guards guards just yesterday and I forgot that vimes and wonse were set up to be mirror images#both boys from the shades of very different natures; who made good (ish) in wildly different ways#also it's interesting reading this books from an adult perspective; my mind isn't blown that these books exist#anymore; plus I've read so many good books since#and they're not perfectly constructed novels! especially these early books;#there are plenty of spots where I can feel the narrative get thin; where there's more handwaving than I remember#but each book IS better and tighter; the jokes are funnier and the irony sharpens; the footnotes are better utilized#the characters are getting more interesting and complicated as opposed to set-ups for jokes.#it's an illustration of someone getting better at their chosen field and that in itself is more impressive than I was anticipating.#discworld
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i love gorgug as the car owner friend. slightly grimacing like oooh no dont scratch the paint, cmon guys my parents gave me this car i dont wanna dent it. no don't let ur blood demon pet sit there hes gonna stain the seats.
#it feel like a very teen sentimentality amongst the action which is part of what i like about fantasy high and the seven#and i think this season is gonna continue to show that contrast#but more complicated thoughts for tmrw#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#d20#dimension 20#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#fantasy high junior year spoilers#gorgug thistlespring
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pride and prejudice enjoyers when the main characters make choices based on both their pride and their prejudice
#me when mr. darcy (a very prideful character) complicates the story by acting on his prejudice: HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS WHAT I CAME FOR#mine#pride and prejudice#jane austen#classic literature#literature#books#reading
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spent like an hour trying to find a post abt the disparity of origin companion's content in bg3 and couldn't so, hey, this fucking sucks
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#the fact that the astarion favoritism is baked into the game itself is so darksided oh my god#bc what do you mean wyll has TWO THIRDS THE AMOUNT OF DIALOGUE???#anyways this thread was also how i found out that astarion is the only one with durge specific scenes#and bc the writer was being forced into crunch and writing for both of them. lol#ETA I know abt Wyll being recast/rewritten and Karlach being added last. the post I linked goes into all of that in detail#as well as linking to another post that goes into even more detail and explains where these numbers came from.#you do not have to tell me. or accuse me of making shit up to make people mad. i know and i'm still mad lol#game design is very complicated yes but there's many ways they could've avoided giving the one black character the least amount of content
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Why self-diagnosed autistics are valid
medical diagnosis can be expensive
humans are the experts on their own minds
family may prevent assessment
diagnosis criteria is a poor checklist of stereotypes
diagnosis criteria ignores gender, race, sexuality, culture & more
medical diagnosis confirms autism, but doesn't create it
discrimination within the medical profession may prevent diagnosis.
Assessment waiting lists often long
medical trauma may make assessment unfeasible
Neurodiverse Journeys
#self diagnosis#why it’s valid#I find it perfectly acceptable with doing the correct research#the diagnosis process can be complicated and sometimes not a very pleasant experience#i honestly think I had ADHD too but I have no idea if I am#actually autistic#self diagnosed adhd#neurodivergence#neurodiversity#actually neurodivergent#feel free to share/reblog#Neurodiverse Journeys (Facebook)#autism awareness month#autism acceptence month
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DP x DC: The Most Dangerous Card Game
Ok so Danny has essentially claimed earth as his. And he is fully aware that there are constant threats to the planet. Now he can’t stop a threat that originates on earth (that’s something he’ll leave to the Justice league) but he can do something about outside threats. Doing some research on ancient spells, rituals, and artifacts, he cast a world wide barrier on the planet to protect it from hostile threats so they cannot enter. This will prevent another Pariah Dark incident. However, barriers like this come at a price. You see, there are two ways to make a barrier. Either make one powered up by your own energy and power (which would be constantly draining) or set up a barrier with rules. The way magic works is that nothing can be absolutely indestructible. It must have a weakness. The most powerful barriers weren’t the ones reinforced with layer after layer of protective charms and buffed up with power. Those could eventually be destroyed either by being overpowered, wearing them down, or by cutting off the original power source. No, the most powerful barriers were the ones with a deliberate weakness. A barrier indestructible except for one spot. A cage that can only be opened from the outside. Or that can only be passed with a key or by solving a riddle. So Danny chooses this type of barrier and does the necessary ritual and pours in enough power to make it. And he adds his condition for anyone to enter.
Now the Justice league? Find out about the barrier when Trigon attempts to attack, they were preparing after he threatened what he would do once he got to earth. How he would destroy them. The Justice league tried to take the fight to him first but were utterly destroyed, so they retreated home to tend to their injuries, and fortify earth for one. Last. Stand. Only when Trigon makes his big entrance…he’s stopped.
The Justice league watch in awe as this thin see-through barrier with beautiful green swirls and speckled white lights like stars apears blocking Trigon and his army’s advance. The barrier looks so thin and fragile yet no matter how hard the warlord hits, none of his attacks can get through and neither can he damage said barrier. That’s when Constantine and Zatanna recognizes what this barrier is. Something only a powerful entity could create. For a moment, the league is filled with hope that Trigon can’t get through yet Constantine also explains that it’s not impenetrable. And clearly Trigon knows this too for he calls out a challenge.
And that’s when, in a flash of light, a tiny glowing teenager appears. He looked absolutly minuscule compared to Trigon and yet practically glowed with power (this isn’t a King Danny AU though).
And that is when the conditions for passing the barrier are revealed. And the Justice realize that the only thing stopping Trigon and his army from decimating earth. The only way he can get through….is by beating this glowing teenager in a card game.
Not just any card game though. The most convoluted game Sam, Danny, and Tucker invented themselves. It’s like the infinite realms version of magic the gathering, combined with Pokémon, and chess. And Danny is the master. So sit down Trigon and let’s play.
(The most intense card game of the Justice league’s life).
After Danny wins, this happens a few more times with outer word beings and possibly even demons attempting to invade earth, yet none have been able to beat the mysterious teenager in a card game. Constantine might even take a crack at it and try to figure out how to play. He’s really bad though. Every time this happens, the Justice league worry that this might be the time the teenager looses. Yet every time, he wins (even if only barely).
Meanwhile, Danny, Sam, and Tucker have gotten addicted to the game and play it almost daily. Some teachers might seem them playing the game are are like ‘awww how cute’ not realizing this game is literally saving the world. Jazz is just happy they aren’t spending as much time on their screens playing Doomed.
#DPxDC#dcxdp#Danny makes a card game to save the world.#Technically he worded the ritual so that they had to ‘beat’ him as those are the most powerful barriers and most reliable.#keys can just get lost or stolen (like the one to Pariah’s Coffin)#A riddle would be useless once someone figured out the answer. Like how no one takes the sphynx seriously anymore.#(Sorry Tuck. But it’s true).#And there is NO WAY Danny is just leaving a hole open for anyone to pass through. No thank you!#So…beating him. But it’s not like Danny wanted to fight so…he edited the ritual a TINY bit. Card games are good. Much less painful too.#Danny Tucker and Sam made the most complicated card game they could imagine.#It’s based on their strategies for fighting ghosts. Capturing them in thermoses. And MUCH based on a on field battle strategy.#It often requires spontaneous thinking on the spot. So Danny? In his ELEMNT. It doubles as practice for his actual ghost battles too.#They had SO much fun making this.#Sam added an entire series of plant cards that act as traps and healing ointments and duds that just take up the field.#Tucker added legitimate hyroglyphics combined with Latin as well as English and ghost speak.#Yes. You actually have to speak that language to play. With proper pronunciation. (Amity Parker’s think the three are talking gibberish.)#I headcanon Sam and Tucker are fluent in Ghost.#Constantine WILL figure this game out SO HELP HIM!#Some of the cards also have combinations related to constellations either in name or placement on the board.#By the way the board is based on a Hexagonal summoning circle with Rhunes along the edges#And the placement of the cards on the board and on what rhune MATTERS.#Also the cards move disintegrate and have certain abilities. Think of Harry Potter Wizard Chess.#But they are normal when Danny plays at school. This is just for ✨effect✨ Against invaders.#Danny faces multiple opponents. He also halts alien invasions.#While Danny COULD stop crime on earth he’s not sure how to fight a normal human and hold back so he sticks to ghosts.#The Justice league are going crazy trying to figure out who this entity is and after deep research are convinced this is some sort of#Ancient being who has protected earth for millenia. They have paintings on ruins and everything.#Danny is not aware they think this.#Raven starts praying to Danny as if he is a god and wrangles the other Teen Titans into doing so as well. Danny is still unaware of this.#Danny is not a King or an ancient. Just a very VERY strong ghost.
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Hi Jonny! Re: your latest post, did you mean that guest writers are also involved with the metaplot portions (with Alice and Sam ans Gwen and the others), or just the case file/"statement" parts? Inquiring minds would like to know. Really enjoying Protocol so far!
So, the detailed answer to this is very complicated, as it's all about parallel production pipelines and varies quite a lot between guest writers, as they all had different schedules/availability. We'll probably dive into it more on a Q&A at some point.
Broadly speaking, the shape and story of the overall metaplot is all me and Alex. We'd have loved to get some of the guest writers involved for a bit more of a writers room feel, but time and logistics simply didn't allow for it. Once we'd sculpted the seasons, we sent out the episode briefs to the guest writers, along with a prompt for a possible case. Some of them used the prompts, others created the whole thing themselves. A few did a pass at the dialogue scenes, but most of these ended up being heavily redone by me and Alex when we were going through and weaving the story together and making the characterisation consistent (it was all being written pretty much simultaneously, so when drafting the guest writers really only had the pilot to go on in terms of writing the cast). Then there were a couple rounds of feedback/edits for the cases, and me and Alex adding in bits to tie the case into the metaplot a bit more and make the tone a bit more cohesive.
Like I say, it varied heavily based on the guest writer (and which of myself or Alex had the first edit pass on an episode), but if you're trying to guess how likely any given event/line was to be written by someone specific, the chances are generally something like
Overall story: 50% Jonny, 50% Alex
"Written by Jonny" episode: 80% Jonny, 20% Alex
"Written by Alex"episode: 80% Alex, 20% Jonny
Guest writer episode (case): 80% Guest, 10% Alex, 10% Jonny
Guest writer episode (scenes): 20% Guest, 40% Alex, 40% Jonny
To be clear, these numbers are purely illustrative, but they give you a rough idea of at least how it seemed from my end. April's been doing a fantastic job of organising the production, so apologies to her if I'm talking fully out my ass :p
#plucking numbers out of the air#collaborative writing is complicated#but very rewarding#tmagp#the magnus protocol
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watching the sdcc panel and i am just very :) about how sweet their answers to “what are some of the micro moments from the game that have stuck with you the most over the years?” are. taliesin saying what the fuck is up with that which was the first like The Party Gets To Know Each Other moments of c3. travis saying asking his wife if he could kiss her in campaign. marisha going way back to the cannonball competition in campaign one. ashley choosing the beauyasha date but also just the silly goat noise matt made. liam adding onto that to compliment matt roleplaying grass so well and then saying his favourite moment was writing a story for laura and reading it to her as caleb for jester. and then matt saying that was his answer, and that his favourite moments of the game are when they find ways to give gifts to each other whether tangible or not. and sam saying his favourite moments have less to do with the story and is more so when he can just. see his friends across the table from him. when marisha perches and when laura and ashley are (badly) drawing dicks and liam saying he loves when sam sneezes and ashley tells him to stop it and just. yeah. they Are an extremely popular online powerhouse, but i’m so happy that they’re also friends building a world together out of gifts to and love for one another.
like i Am so enamoured with the characters and the world of exandria but the moments when you can feel the love that those people have for each other reach out from behind the stained glass of their performances (to steal a metaphor from brennan lee mulligan) are so extremely special and i am endlessly grateful that they decided to share their silly little home game with the world.
#it’s just the. laura and travis’ characters always being supportive of one another when they’re facing hardship#taliesin and marisha consistently making characters who challenge one another and still protect each other relentlessly#all of them being so fond of ashley’s characters always and literally seeing them light up in c1 episodes when ash got to join in person#sam and liam always making characters who offer one another reprieves into kindness that they don’t always get in the campaign setting#liam making orym after falling in love with keyleth as vax#marisha making laudna after matt’s storytelling with delilah and choosing vex as her body double#ashley using ‘i would like to rage’ and matt having kord ask her where she finds her strength#laura and matt always weaving these deeply complicated and emotional interactions between a daughter and a father#the gasps and yells and clapping when matt makes cool sound effects or reveals a map or breaks/ends on a cliff hanger#them ending both campaign 1 and 2 with ‘what a great/nice story’ and travis saying ‘let’s do it again!’#and it’s like. yes yes i love the comics and i’m a fan of tlovm but . seeing this well produced thing that somehow mimics#the feeling i get sitting in my living room laughing with my roommates about my ranger’s giant rat failing to climb stairs#it’s very special it’s very sweet#critical role#sdcc 2023#taliesin jaffe#travis willingham#marisha ray#ashley johnson#liam o’brien#matthew mercer#laura bailey#sam riegel#cr cast#critical role cast#my posts
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