swifties’ beef with people who have supposedly wronged taylor is so funny to me cause it’s like on one end of the spectrum one dude stole her entire body of work and one dude emotionally manipulated her and their relationship when she was 19 and on the other end of the spectrum there’s her boyfriend of 6 years she parted amicably with and a girl who can’t even legally drink alcohol in the united states like it’s all so unserious be so fucking real

Falling: What If I’m Someone You Won’t Talk About?

Hey guys! Here’s another one for you all! It’s sad just like the last one! I hope you all like it as much as Cherry. This one is a bit long too lol. Thank you all for reading and sharing my stories. It really makes me feel good to know that you all are enjoying my stories! Please feel free to message me any ideas that you may have or something that you want to see me write! I will write any idea you come up with. I love to include you all into my writing. So don’t be shy! Like I said before, this Fine Line Series is on the top of my list to finish. But ideas are always welcome here. As soon as I finish this series, I will upload some other imagines for you all to read. I will add them to the master list once this is done. Much Love- K

Summary: You and Harry have been broken up for a couple of months. You have an interview for an upcoming movie you are starring in. You are going on the Late Late Show with James Corden. He asks you questions related to the movie but then he brings up some questions about you and Harry. You haven’t really talked about Harry to the public before, even when you two were still together. So you get really nervous to talk about his post break-up. But James surprises you with Harry’s new music video and song that an anonymous fan requested to play for you. As you watch the video, you notice someone in the crowd but you can’t quite place who it is. But James has an even bigger surprise for you after the show. 

Pairing: Harry x Reader

Rated: PG

Masterlist

Being in the lime-light is difficult when it comes to relationships. Your schedule becomes extremely busy and even if you aren’t working, you are still working. Paparazzi are everywhere you go. It becomes difficult to hide your personal life. It ruins the intimacy for you and your partner sometimes. You feel responsible for protecting your loved ones when it comes to the public eye. It’s hard to keep up with relationships when everyone in the tabloids tries to tear you down. Fans are amazing. They are the reason you keep following your dreams. But other fandoms can tear down your confidence when it comes to their idol. But hey, that’s the price of fame. Not everyone will love you and not everyone will be rooting for you.

For me though, being a young actress and dating a mega superstar was so hard. I was super close with Harry before we dated. Our friendship started around the end of One Direction and through his making of his first solo album. We were best friends and I supported him through the end of One Direction. He was super nervous about releasing his first solo album. I told him that it will be worth it and everyone will still love him the same no matter the outcome. It became one of the top albums that year. He was so happy and I couldn’t deny how proud of him I was.  

We stayed close together when he went on tour that year for the album. I tried my best to go out to his shows. It was a little difficult with me being in a few shows. Eventually, when he took his time off after touring, we reconnected and started dating in 2018. It became difficult to keep our relationship private. Everyone was watching us to see what would happen between us. Fans were blowing up online about us. Supporting us and others were jealous. It just comes with the business. I was trying to stay confident for Harry and our relationship. But it became difficult when the tabloids started saying they spotted Harry with other girls here and there. I’m not one to read into those things. Especially when I trusted Harry. I never once doubted his loyalty to me.

    But as the tabloids went on, it became difficult for me to hang on to what we had. Then I got offered a job for a big movie that was coming out. Harry began to dabble into his second solo album. Our schedules became harder to see each other with our separate projects. Then one night, I got a call from a mutual friend of ours. They told me that they went out to a bar and saw Harry there. He was hammered and apparently was flirting with some other girl there. I was heartbroken at the news. I was panicking around my home trying to figure out why he would do such a thing. I tried calling him a few times and texting him, but I got no response out of him that night. I got zero sleep. Thankfully, I didn’t have work the next day.

    When I woke up the next day, that’s when the pictures and videos were uploaded online of Harry’s scandal. I read the tabloids for once and watched the videos. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was so broken. My heart was aching as I laid in bed all day. I cried and ignored everyone who tried to check on me… Even Harry. Later that night, I decided to check my phone. I read all of Harry’s messages. He was upset and apologizing left and right for what he had done. I told him that I couldn’t forgive him and that it hurt too much for me to keep this relationship going. I had to protect myself for once. I loved Harry whole-heartedly and I loved everything about him. We had so much fun together and laughed so hard at our horrible jokes. But it was like all of that was gone now.

I didn’t recognize him anymore. I trusted him with the most fragile parts of me. It felt like none of that mattered now. We broke up and the tabloids kept reeling in on why we broke up. Paparazzi followed us both everywhere and asked horrible questions about why we weren’t together anymore. I decided to focus on myself and my career and I suppose Harry did the same. He ended up releasing his second album this October. I listened to a few songs and watched the music videos even though my heart hurt and yearned for him. I was still going to support him. He was someone I always looked up to in my career.

Now, after a few months my movie was about to come out. I was busy with meetings and interviews with my cast mates. That’s what I always did when I went through a break-up. I just throw myself into my work and focused on my career when shit hits the fan. Tonight, I was going to be on James Corden to talk about the movie I was starring in. I was super excited because James was always someone that could make me laugh. He was always so sweet and kind to me. I was in my dressing room watching the show. I was in a shiny, navy blue dress that stopped at my thighs and some black heels. My hair was pinned back to show off the sliver hoops in my ears. My make-up was natural, but it still made my eyes pop. I was playing with my bracelets nervously waiting for my que to head towards the stage.

    They were on a commercial break when I heard a knock on the door. The stage manager peaked their head in and smiled, “Places Ms. Y/L/N.” I smiled up at them and took a deep breath. I stood from the couch and followed them to the stage. There were a few crew members adjusting my mic for me. I smiled and thanked them looking over to the stage manager. They started to count down to signal that they were live again. “My next guest is incredibly talented and a truly wonderful young woman. She is starring in the new thriller movie called ‘The Chase’. Please welcome, Y/N Y/L/N everybody,” James spoke and the curtains pulled back for me to walk out on stage. I smiled bright and big walking out while the crowd cheered for me. I giggled and waved as I made my way over to James who was standing up beside his desk to pull me into a warm hug.

    I open my arms wide and wrapped them around him. “Oh, it’s so good to see you,” I said as I pulled away and took seat on the couch next to his desk. “It’s always a pleasure to have you here,” James spoke with a huge contagious smile. I blushed looking down feeling my nerves calming slightly. “So, you have been busy,” James spoke up breaking my nerves from taking over. “Yeah, I’ve been very busy,” I nodded looking at him gleaming with joy. “You are in this movie and I couldn’t be more excited to see it. I have been waiting for this moment! You have starred on many T.V. shows on and off. How does it feel going into the movie business,” James asked while leaning forward on his desk. I giggled and nodded along with him in excitement. “It’s definitely different for me,” I blushed looking at my bracelets.

    “I haven’t been around such a huge set before and it was so incredible to see how this story unraveled on set. It was interesting to see how everything comes to life with a movie script. Obviously with T.V. show sets, they aren’t as big as you would think. You don’t always get to do cool adventurous things like a movie. So, it was really amazing to be out of my element and learn new things about myself along with filming,” I smiled big to James and the audience who were in awe of my explanation. “Oh, of course. It’s completely different and so amazing with the story telling. So, tell us a little about the movie and who your character is in the film,” James said taking a sip of his water.

    I smiled and looked to the audience, “Well this movie is a huge thriller. There is a lot of action in the film. ‘The Chase’ is about a girl named Claire Bennett which is my character in the film. She finds out that her family is being held captive by these group of investors that meet with her dad early on in the film. She basically fights to save her family and it begins a huge chase/countdown to save her family.” The crowd ‘oo’ed and ‘aw’ed at my description of the movie without giving too much away. “That just sounds incredible,” James smiled big and looked to his cards. “I heard that you did all of your own stunts in this movie. Is that true,” he asked shocked and very interested in this rumor.

    I laughed and nodded slowly, “Yeah, that is actually true. I wanted to try something new for once. I met with the director and told him that this is my first big movie. I want to give it my all and I want to make him proud of my role. He was super cool about that and very happy to hear that I would be willing to learn something so difficult. We ended up finding the perfect stunt trainer for me and I started working with her. I’m so grateful for her and I’m definitely proud of myself for trying something so out of my comfort zone. I personally think it will make the film that much more great to see someone so devoted to their character.” James was stunned and started clapping. He stood up out of his chair and the crowd began to cheer with him.

    I laughed and waved everyone off. “That is just brilliant. I love your devotion in fully taking something on like that. We actually have the never-before seen trailer right here. I’m so happy you chose our show to release this trailer. Here it is,” James says pointing to the camera men to switch it over to the trailer. The lights dimmed for the audience to watch on a big screen. I smiled and looked at the screen with so much passion. It was incredible to see this came to life. I peered around everyone’s faces to see their reactions. Everyone seemed to be on the edge of their seats and that was the best reaction to hope for. I giggled as it came to an end and the lights came back up. James’s mouth hung open in amazement and looked to me. “That was incredible. We are going to take a short break and we will be right back to ask some more questions with Y/N,” James smiled to the camera and we went to break.

    As we took a break, I reached for my water and took a sip. “I just want to tell you how proud I am of how far you have come Y/N,” James spoke as we sat there waiting for us to go live again. I smiled and felt tears stinging my eyes. “Thank you, James. That means the world to me really,” I smiled and reached his hand holding it tight. He smiled and squeezed my hand, “Any time love.” I giggled and the management gave us the signal we were going live again. I smiled and leaned back on the couch holding my water. They counted down from three and pointed to James. “Welcome back to the Late Late Show. I’m here with Y/N Y/L/N and we are going to ask some more questions to get to know her a little better. We just discussed her new movie coming out and showed the trailer for the movie. Let’s get a little more in depth with who she is,” James smiled and the crowd cheered agreeing to his suggestion.

    I felt myself growing nervous again and smiled to everyone. “So, what do you like to do outside of work Y/N,” James asks with a smile. “Well, I love to read a good book or write in a journal. I love to spend time with my friends and family when I get free time as well. I try to keep myself grounded,” I giggle as he nods. “Now, have you been dating since your break-up from the mega popstar and one of my great friends Harry Styles,” he asked raising an eyebrow. I felt my heart slowly sink to my stomach at the sound of Harry’s name. I bit my bottom lip and looked down. I know the crowd is on the edge of their seats waiting for this answer. “Not recently no. I have been quite busy with interviews with my cast mates and promoting the movie,” I smiled a small smile trying to ignore this feeling of being sick.

“Now, I know that it is a touchy subject talking about him. But you and him haven’t spoken publicly since the break-up about each other. Why is that,” he asked leaning back a little. I could see the nerves in his face. I looked off to my management and back to him. My hands started sweating as I set my cup down on the table in front of me. “Well, Harry and I started out as great friends. I think that our friendship and relationship was something so personal to us. I know that I haven’t spoken about it because I believe we are both healing from what we went through. I believe that neither of us have anything bad to say about one another. It’s just a little touchy for us and being in a relationship in the public eye is difficult you know,” I say looking down breathlessly. My heart was all the way to my stomach now.

I swallow hard as I gathered myself and looked to James with a little smile. “I can understand that, yeah. Have you listened to his new album Fine Line at all,” James asked trying to give me a reassuring smile. “I have heard a couple of songs here and there. It has been hard for me to sit down and listen to it with my schedule, but I still support him whole-heartedly. He is super talented and I will always be one of his biggest fans. I plan on listening to it all the way through very soon though,” I nod to him and casually wipe my palms along my dress. “Well, today he released a music video for his song called ‘Falling’. It sounds like something you may want to hear. Do you mind if we play the video,” James asked leaning forward and looking out to the crowd. The crowd roared and pleaded with me to say yes.

I can’t lie I was slightly curious as to what the song is about. I was also curious to see what the video looked like. I bit my lip again and looked to my management. They shrugged with a small smile telling me it was my call. I looked to James again and nodded, “Sure, I am a bit curious.” James smiled humbly and nodded to the camera men to play the video. As the song starts, Harry is sitting on a floor with water pouring in around him. He is leaned against a wall soaking wet breathing deeply. It pans to his hand on the piano and then a full body shoot of him laying along the piano bench.

I felt my heart pick up speed as I listened to the lyrics and felt tears at the brim of my eyes. That’s when he starts singing the chorus and the pain in his eyes isn’t hard to miss as he looks into the camera. “What am I now? What am I now? What if I'm someone I don't want around? I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm fallin' What if I'm down? What if I'm out? What if I'm someone you won't talk about? I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm fallin'.” My throat felt dry and like it was closing up now. I felt like I couldn’t breathe just watching this video. He was in pain and he was beautiful all in one. The water begins to rise in the video and can’t stop my eyes from letting the tears fall as the memories start to replay in my mind…

-Flashbacks-

         *** It was a rainy night in L.A. Harry had come over and we were watching some random rom-com that he chose while I made the popcorn. We were curled up on the couch wrapped up in each other in a blanket along the couch. He was running his fingers through my hair as I watched the movie happily. He leaned down and started kissing my jawline and then down to my neck causing me to giggle at the feeling of his lips. He started to chuckle softly and ran his hand up my side. I felt myself stiffen at his touch afraid that he will start to tickle me. That’s when he stopped, looking me dead in the eyes. I couldn’t help but get lost in the jade green eyes of his. They always captivated me.

         He then started to tickle me causing my whole body to jolt and squirm. Our laughter filled the air not caring about the movie anymore. I was squealing and trying to tell him to stop but he wouldn’t. He was determined to leave me breathless. Finally, after tickling me enough he slowed his fingers down. He started rubbing my sides gently to let me catch my breath. I looked up at him and smiling while panting. “What was that for,” I asked looking up at him with a playful smile. “I just love to hear you laugh,” he smiled big down at me and leaned down kissing my lips.***

*** I then began to picture him getting ready backstage in his dressing room at one of his concerts. I was drinking some tequila on the rocks watching him change. I was taking in all his features and how his tattoos shaded his toned body perfectly. I was so in love with this man. I could look at him for hours on end. I blushed when he turned to look at me. “What is it babe,” he asked looking at me raising his eyebrows. I looked down shaking my head and giggling, “Oh nothing.” I waved him off and he just smirked strutting towards me. “You know, it’s not polite to stare princess,” he had walked around the couch I was sitting on and leaning behind me. I could feel his hot breath against my ear as he spoke the words.

I squeezed my thighs together at the sound of his voice as he brushed my hair back. He attached his lips to my neck and I felt myself fall back against the back of the couch. I was in a trance at the feeling of his lips and hot breath against my skin. “Mm, I can’t wait get you alone after the show princess,” he smiled across my skin and I moaned softly looking to him. He pulled his lips from my neck and to my lips. I smiled into the kiss and pulled back slightly, “If only I can wait that long.” He chuckled and his stylist waved at us. “Hey lovebirds, I hate to break up the love-fest, but we need to get you dressed Harry,” she smiled at the sight of us and we both blushed this time. “Later, I promise,” he whispered to me and I nodded trying to hold it all in.***

*** I remembered the time we were at Harry’s place cooking dinner together. He had turned on some music and we both sang loudly with one another. We were laughing and dancing around the kitchen. He then pulled me into his arms and spun us around the kitchen. I giggled and held onto him as he dipped me down. I looked up at him with a lopsided grin. He chuckled and pulled me back up leaning our foreheads together. “You know I love you right,” he smiled down at me. I nodded slightly and placed my hands on his cheeks, “And I love you Harry.” He grinned and kissed my whole face causing us to break out in a fit of giggles.

*** The day the tabloids flooded online with the proof of Harry cheating on me was the hardest. I was unable to move in bed. I felt like I was glued down to the mattress. I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that he touched someone else the way he touched me. I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that he kissed someone the way he would kiss me. The fact that he had the nerve to take her back to his hotel crushed every ounce of me. He decided to be intimate with someone other than me. It hurt me because he had touched me in ways no other guy has. He taught me incredible things about how to make my body feel the way he made it feel. He took me to euphoria in our intimate moments. How could he throw that all out the window for some random girl?

My mind raced with so many questions that I honestly wasn’t sure I wanted the answers to. Was it worth? Was she good? Was she better than me? Did she make him feel the way I did? Was he faking it this whole time with me? Did he really love like he said he did? Why did he have to do it like this? Was he bored of me? Was he tired of me? Was he mad about our schedules? Was he just lonely and decided on someone random? Did he ask her to meet him there? Was this all just planned out to hurt me? Why me? Did he still love me even though he made his bed? How could this be the end? Who was he now? Do I even recognize him anymore?

There was a day we met up after our break-up to try and discuss things that popped into my head. We went to the Beachwood Café and sat there both unsure of what to say. “I-I didn’t mean for this to happen…,” he said softly. I felt my heart crack and I was unable to look at him. Who was this person sitting in front of me? “It was a mistake Y/N. I was drunk and I don’t know what had gotten into me. I was stupid,” he whispered trying to hold back his tears. I sniffled and tried my best not to cry. “Harry… I don’t think I can trust you… not now. You made the choice to leave with her and take her back to your hotel,” I felt a single tear begin to fall down my cheek. “Y/N… don’t say that please… I love you and I don’t want to lose you… not like this,” he was full blown crying now. “I’m sorry Harry… I just can’t right now,” I sniffled as my heart chipped away at the crack in his voice.

“Please don’t go…,” he sobbed quietly and I couldn’t bring myself to look him in his eyes. I took a shaky breath and looked down at my hands that were gripping the bottom of my hoodie. “I’m sorry Harry… I loved you and I cared a great deal about you…but I need to be alone right now… I don’t know what to say to you… I don’t even recognize you right now…,” I whispered as tears just spilled out from my eyes. Harry sobbed as I finally stood from our table. I slid my sunglass down so no one bothered me on my way out. If that was even possible at this time with our break-up still fresh in the public eye.

As I turned to leave, I felt his hand reach from mine. That was the breaking point for me. His touch. I didn’t want to be touched by him after his mistake. It made me feel disgusted with myself. It made the questions grow louder in my head and I clenched my hand into a fist before he had the chance to interlace our fingers. My heart finally shattered as his hand wrapped around my wrist and the words left his mouth. “Who would I be without you? What if I’m someone I don’t want around Y/N,” his voice was shaky and it cracked again. “I have to go…,” I whispered looking down to my feet. I gently pulled my wrist out of his grasp and headed out of the door making a beeline to my car. ***

-End of Flashbacks-

         As I pull myself out of my head, I look back up to the screen as the water rises around Harry as the bridge of the song cuts in. “And I get the feeling that you'll never need me again,” he sang and there was the shatter in my heart once again. I needed Harry. I will always need Harry. This song was about us. It was about his mistake and how he was hurting due to his own actions. He admitted it in his lyrics. I was trying to hold back my sobs as James looked over to me and handed me his handkerchief. I thanked him softly and started to wipe my tears away. Harry was now completely under the water. He was drowning. The music went silent and he was just sitting at the piano in pain. I looked out into the crowd to see how everyone else was doing with the song and video to distract myself from falling more apart than ever.

         I was watching some reactions. Some people were wiping their faces and sniffling. Others were mesmerized by Harry’s lyrics or just him in general. I bit my bottom lip to keep it from quivering still scanning the audience. I noticed a familiar figure sitting with a hand over his mouth and his hood was up. It looked like he was wearing sunglasses because the screen was reflecting off the lenses. I turned back to the screen at the sound of Harry’s voice.

         I felt the pieces of my heart crumbling in my chest as I watched him on the big screen. How could he still be so handsome even though he was broken in this video? He was floating gracefully underneath the water as his shirt floated around him. I wanted to just reach in the water and pull him out. As the video ended, the lights came back up and looked down still wiping my face. “Well, that was… heartbreaking,” James says softly and looks to the audience. I knew everyone’s eyes were on me now. I was just trying to gather my thoughts and make the tears come to a halt so I could speak up. “Are you alright love,” James asks holding out his hand for me. I nodded slightly and giggle to reassure everyone. “Yes, I’m alright. Just wasn’t expecting it to be as deep as it was,” I smiled up at him taking his hand. “I understand. I think we all can understand that. I just felt you needed to hear that song in particular from the album,” he smiled sweetly at me as I nodded at his thoughtfulness.

         “I appreciate that. It was an amazing song,” I say softly as he rubbed the back of my hand. “I just want you to know that this was an idea sent to me anonymously to surprise you in a way,” James looked out to the crowd and I followed his gaze to the crowd. I noticed the man that I saw before the video ended. He in fact, had his hood up and sunglasses on. I still couldn’t tell who it was underneath, but I felt like I knew them. I turned my attention back to James with a small smile. “Well, whoever it was I really appreciate it. It was kind of them,” I nodded. “We will be right back after this short break. Don’t go anywhere,” James said to the cameras. They cut to the commercial and I stood hugging James tightly.

         As we pulled away, James held my shoulders keeping me in place. “Listen, I hope I didn’t cross any lines with tonight. I really am proud of you and everything that you are becoming in this industry,” James spoke softly to me. I nodded and smiled, “No you didn’t cross any lines. I think it was about time I talked about Harry and I for once. It has been a couple months post break-up. I will say I was surprised with his song and video.” James laughed lightly and nodded. “I was too when I got the request to play it for everyone and especially you. Would you mind staying until after the show? I have a special surprise for you,” James smiled a hopeful smile. “Sure, thank you. I will be in my dressing room until then,” I giggled and hugged him once more.

         As I waited in my dressing room, I watched the rest of the show. James played a game with the audience before the show came to an end. I waited patiently with my management that praised me for doing so well with the interview, even if I did cry. They told me how I handled everything well when it came to Harry. I didn’t give too much away and that made me feel a little better. I was a little anxious while waiting on James to come back to the dressing room to give me my surprise. I felt like even my management knew something about it when I asked what they thought it might be. They didn’t really say much when I asked. I just shrugged it off as I played with my bracelets.

         There was a knock on the door and I stood pulling myself out of my thought about Harry’s song. I opened the door and there stood James with a warm smile. “Y/N, would you mind following me out to the stage,” he asked holding out his arm for me to take. I tilted my head at first confused. No one was here now, so why did we need to go back out to the stage area? “Sure,” I smiled and put my arm in his as he led us back towards the stage. We talked about the rest of the show here and there on the way. I was feeling even more nervous as we approached the curtains. “I will let you walk out there for your surprise. I have a few things to finish up in my dressing room with my management. Is that okay,” he asked stopping us and I pulled my arm away.

         “Yeah, I should be fine with that,” I said feeling very confused now. “Okay great,” he smiled and turned to walk away. I stood there for a minute trying to figure out why he wasn’t coming out to the stage with me. I shook my head slightly and slowly opened the curtain. I walked out and there stood the guy in the hoodie. He had his back towards me and was shuffling his feet around. I bit my bottom lip nervously trying to figure out why he was here. “Hey, is this my surprise? Are you the one that requested James to play the video during the show,” I asked nervously as I slowly made my way to the random guy. I saw him straighten his shoulders and stop his movements.

         I stopped a few feet behind him still curious as to why he was dressed this way. He slowly turned with his head down, “Um, yeah that was… that was me.” His voice shocked me slightly because he sounded just like… “Harry?” I asked the guy as his hands reached for his sunglasses pulling them off. He let his hood fall and finally looked up at me. My heart started to pick up speed at the sight of him. His eyes were still a little bloodshot… like he had been crying? “Yeah… I know that this is a bit sad of me to do. But I wanted to show you that I miss you and that I’m truly sorry for hurting you. Writing my second album was really tough when I lost you. So, I wrote about us. I wrote that song about our break-up and I knew that I had to make a video to show the world and you, how I was truly feeling after my mistake…,” Harry spoke looking down while playing with his sunglasses nervously.

         “I know that this is a bit much and it was probably hard on you. I saw how you reacted to the video. You were crying and I didn’t want to upset you more. I’m just really sorry. I’m stupid for ever letting you down. I was stupid for doing something unforgiving. I was stupid to let myself slip into someone you couldn’t trust anymore. It was all my fault and I take full responsibility for everything,” he sniffled and I could see the tears filling his eyes again. I didn’t realize that I was crying now too. He looked like he was going to break into a million pieces. He looked like he could crumble if I touched him. I slowly walked up to him and stopped in front of him. He looked up to me with his bottom lip quivering now unsure what to do with his self.

         “I told you that day… I didn’t know who I would be without you. I had to realized that I didn’t want to be that person who hurt the only good thing in his life. Sure… I love my fans and my music. I love my family and my friends, but most importantly… I love you. I was surprised that you even talked about me. I just miss having you around. And I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get back to where we used to be. To show you that I will never do that to you again. To build your trust back up,” he whispered looking down into my eyes. I placed my hand against his cheek and softly rubbed it with my thumb wiping his tears away. “I love you Harry,” I whispered and his whole face crumbled into a sob as he leaned his forehead to mine.

         He wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me into him and squeezing me tightly. I shushed him as he tried to steady his breathing. I wanted to just hold him together, but he was slowly crumbling into me. “God… I missed you so much… I missed your voice…,” he said as he buried his face into my neck. I ran my fingers through his tousled curls trying my best to keep him together. “I missed you too. And your voice,” I said softly, smiling to myself. He pulled back a little after calming his-self down again. He looked down into my eyes and then to my lips. I leaned up in his embrace and brought my lips to his. Our lips connected and there was that familiar spark again.

         After all this time, the flame and the spark never disappeared. After all this time, he was still the only person who could make me feel this way. He deepened the kiss by picking me up slightly off the ground and I felt him smile against my lips. He placed me gently back down and pulled back leaning his forehead to mine again. “So, can we start over? One step at a time,” he asked rubbing my cheeks with his thumbs. I looked at him and we heard someone from behind us. “Oh, please say yes,” James said and we both turned to see the crew and management watching us with tearful and hopeful eyes. We both started blushing and laughing at the sight of our friends waiting for my answer. I turned back to look at Harry, “Yes, one step at a time.” He smiled and pulled my lips back to his as he spun me around happily.

Today’s author is suspendrs / @suspendrs​ ! Don’t forget to give the fics kudos and leave a comment! 

to the cloud and the cold (2k)

Or, Louis is a Summer Fairy, Harry is an Autumn Fairy, and the autumn equinox is the best day of the year.

fearless (97k)

“You’re my best friend, Louis,” Harry says, barely above a whisper. Even if he was yelling, Louis wouldn’t be able to believe his ears. “And I know it’s been a while, but you’re still the person I consider my best friend,” Harry says.

Louis blinks, and then blinks again. “I honestly cannot say the same, Harry,” he says.

Or, Harry left home without a word after high school, and a lot can change in ten years.

just a little dance (1k)

“Keep your head up, love,” he says, pulling away and grabbing Harry’s hands. “Dance with me.”

“I don’t want to dance,” Harry pouts, but he lets Louis pull him into the center of the dark kitchen, anyway.

“Just a little dance,” Louis says, tugging Harry’s hands until he’s flush against his front.

Or, a tiny drabble based on the cutest lyric from perfect now

ferricadooza! (65k)

Harry can’t even fathom the idea of surrendering; he’d fight ‘til he died, if he had to, anything to keep from surrendering.

Or, the year is 1963, homosexuality is illegal in the UK, Louis owns a gay bar, and Harry’s an underground boxing champion with an unfortunate enemy.

at last, at last (41k)

“Come with us,” Tommo says, stopping at the other end of the gymnasium, near the doors. “Don’t let them make you suffer any longer. Come with us, and be human.”

Before Harry has even finished thinking it through, he’s on his feet, gaining the attention of every single person in the gymnasium. What has he got to lose, anyway?

Or, Harry is born into a cult in a post-apocalyptic world, and Louis is the leader of the rebel group tasked with the mission of shutting them down. Together, they make a rather effective team.

the act of making noise (32k)

“Oh,” Harry frowns, waving him off. “No, I could never. I respect myself too much to sing for a living.”

It feels like a slap across the face, but Louis does his best not to stiffen, blinking once and then frowning. “What?”

“Those people are always so miserable, you know?” Harry says, hopping down off his stool and straightening his sweater. “There’s so much pressure on them, and they have to work so hard to keep up appearances, I can’t even imagine how difficult that is. I can’t even stand to listen to pop music today, let alone watch TV or read the magazines. It makes me so sad, thinking that those people, you know, the ones who actually went into it with heart, they only ever just wanted to make music and instead they got turned into things on leashes being paraded around to make money for other people,” he says. “Anyway, you can have the stool.”

Or, Louis's famous, Harry has no idea who he is, and they get snowed in together at a ski lodge in Vermont.

walls (20k)

The thing about having been on the move so much for the past five years is that now, once they’re finally able to sit down and rest for a bit, they don’t really know what to do with themselves. Louis loved the pace of the band, for all he and the others complained about it; he isn’t very fond of sitting still, and he absolutely loathes boredom, and there was very little space in their lives for either of those things while they were so busy putting out an album every year and touring more often than not. Being in the same room as Harry while neither of them are under the pressure of keeping up appearances feels like being in a room with a total stranger, and the amount of trouble they’re having trying to get to know each other again is really rather alarming.

Or, a love one whole decade in the making, inspired by Louis's debut album.

fine line (22k)

There’s still a lot of things they don’t talk about, a lot of things they don’t bring home with them at the end of the day, and a lot of things that don’t even need to be said. The world is the world and it sucks sometimes, but it’s far away when Harry’s at home and Louis’s here with him and none of it needs to matter when it could just as easily be ignored. Harry tries to open up sometimes, tries to bring Louis into his world, but Louis’s got a world of his own to tend to, and it feels like more often than not they are on two separate planets and the universe just keeps expanding.

Or, a love three more years in the making, inspired by Harry’s sophomore album.

out for a duck (2k)

“Well, once I got control of Clifford, I took him right back to the house and changed my clothes and gave him one hell of a dressing down, let me tell you,” he scoffs. “And then I felt so bad I went back out to see if the duck had gone back to her eggs, and that Clifford hadn’t damaged them or hurt the duck at all. She wasn’t there when I got back, and I sat there for hours waiting for her, but she never showed her face! She just up and abandoned her babies, just left them there cold and alone, all because a dog barked at her,” he sighs, shaking his head.

“Still not sure why the eggs are now in my kitchen,” Louis frowns.

“I couldn’t just leave them there!” Harry says. “It was my fault they were abandoned! Well, Clifford’s fault, but whatever. I couldn’t live with myself if I just left them there to die. So I came back to the house and got a bowl and some gloves and scooped them up so I could bring them home and keep them warm until they hatch.”

Or, Harry accidentally adopts two duck eggs.

what’s inside your imagination (is as real as anything else) (3k)

“Hey!” Niall shouts suddenly, scaring Harry nearly out of his hat. “We like your costume!”

The ghost turns to glance at Niall, producing a hand from under the sheet and giving him a thumbs up. Harry can’t help but laugh a little more, the casual gesture adding to the entire vibe of the sunglasses-wearing ghost.

The ghost looks at them for a moment longer before turning and disappearing into the crowd again, and Harry sighs. “I love Halloween,” he says thoughtfully.

Or, Harry's a witch who likes to pretend he's a human pretending he's a witch, and Louis's the human in a not-so-clever costume that keeps catching his eye.

satellite (100k)

“It’s been three years since I’ve had a proper hot meal,” Louis says finally. “I have no idea where my family is, or if any of them are even still alive. The only reason I’ve been able to keep myself alive for as long as I have is because I keep to myself, stay guarded, stay hidden. It’s the only way I know how to live,” he says.

Harry wants to cry, but he tries to put on a brave face when Louis finally meets his eyes. “You’re safe here. You don’t have to be so guarded around me,” Harry says quietly, earnestly.

“That’s very sweet of you,” Louis says, putting his fork down. “But yes I do. Especially around you.”

Or, Harry finds out that someone's been living in his house without him knowing, but instead of kicking him out, he falls in love with him.

sugar in a plum (4k)

“I’m your dad,” Harry says softly, extending his hand to Plum for her to have a sniff. Plum considers for a moment, looks up at Louis, and then bites Harry’s finger.

“Ow!” Harry shrieks, pulling his hand away quickly. He’s not bleeding, but Plum’s teeth are incredibly sharp, he feels like he’s been stabbed with ten tiny needles. “Jesus, Lou, I thought we were getting a cat, not a demon.”

Or, Harry's new kitten is out to ruin his life.

there are no atheists in foxholes (64k)

“Do you think we’ll ever see it again?” Harry asks after a minute. “London?”

Louis blinks, looking down. They very well could spend the rest of their lives on this island, and they’re both very aware of that. Everyone probably already thinks they’re dead, anyway. Their flats are going to be sold, and their families are going to have funerals, and life is going to go on without them. Even if they do get rescued, it’s already been days. The news of the shipwreck has definitely reached London by now. They don’t know if there’s been any effort to look for survivors, but they also don’t know how far away from the wreck they are, or how far people are going to go to look for them, or if anyone even knows that this island is here and, like, it’s very possible that they’ve already looked and stopped looking for survivors, and no one knows they’re out here-

“I don’t know,” Louis says, before he can start spiraling. “I hope so, but I don’t know.”

Or, the sea takes everything from Louis, but it gives him back more than he ever could’ve asked for.

it ain’t right, but isn’t it amazing (7k)

It’s all Niall’s fault, as most things are. Niall’s the one that made the bloody Tinder account in the first place, and the one that added every decent looking photo of Louis he could find on his phone, and the one that swiped right on the first fifteen guys that popped up. Yeah, Louis might have done the rest of the work that landed him here, in the men’s toilets of a Japanese restaurant in west London with vomit dripping down his chin and down the very, very attractive chest of the very, very attractive man in front of him, but Niall started it.

Or, Harry takes Louis for sushi on the first date. It doesn't go well.

keep this love in a photograph (48k)

“I could never forget a damn thing about you, Harry Styles, not even if I wanted to,” Louis says. His hair falls into his face when he glances over at Harry, the moonlight reflecting off of it and making it glow golden, like maybe Louis himself is the sun.

Harry thinks of how dark and cold his life got once Louis went away, how Harry got a taste of the sweetest sunshine imaginable and then was plunged into the longest winter of his life. He feels like he’s been buried under mounds of snow for months, years, and he’s finally made it to spring, finally getting another taste of how wonderful life can be.

Or, it’s 1919, and Harry’s been falling in love with his best friend for his entire life.

thrills don’t come for free (4k)

The night before comes back to him slowly, puking in the toilet at the club and then falling asleep in his car in the parking lot. He closes his eyes again for a moment until he realizes that the car is on and moving, and someone is driving it that isn’t him.

He picks his head up and peers between the seats, catching sight of a perfect stranger sitting behind the wheel, singing quietly and driving Louis’s car.

Or, Louis has a bit too much to drink and falls asleep in the backseat of Harry's car.

not even the gods above (25k)

The thing is, though, this isn’t good enough for Harry. Sure, he has the rest of his life to be a notable king, but he wants to be notable now. He wants to bring the two kingdoms together and he wants to do it early on, wants to be the one to facilitate the merge until it seems like the two kingdoms were one all along. He doesn’t want to wait, but everyone he’s turned to thinks waiting is the right choice, so he supposes he has to trust them.

That is, of course, until a declaration of war from the Kingdom of Tomlinson shows up at his palace.

somewhere far away from here (12k)

“Harry,” Louis says, squeezing his arm. “Do you know her?”

“My sister,” Harry mutters, eyes glued to the screen.

“What’s she saying?” Louis asks, voice quiet. “What does she want?”

“Me,” Harry murmurs, hardly a breath. “She knows I’m here.”

Or, Harry's sister comes to Earth to bring him home, but Harry's got a few things keeping him here.

i’ll take your pain (2k)

It’s kind of romantic when Harry thinks about it, feeling all the pain of the person he’s supposed to love for the rest of his life. Sure, it’s rather inconvenient when he’s in class and his soulmate gets kicked in the balls, or when he’s sleeping and his soulmate knocks his head or his knee off something. It’d be nice if the function helped them to find each other, but Harry supposes he can live with knowing that they’re destined to run into each other someday.

Or, soulmates have the ability to feel each other's pain, and Harry finds his after getting his arse waxed. (Or, the soulmate au crack fic I can't believe I actually wrote.)

the pink album (31k)

They don’t really discuss how hard it is to be in this situation, or to be doing the things they have to do to continue being together. It’s just something they don’t talk about, and that’s alright. Or maybe it isn’t, but they’ll cross that bridge when they get to it.

Or, a love seven years in the making, inspired by Harry's debut album.

i’ll make this feel like home (41k)

It’s nerdy, much nerdier than anything Harry would have engaged in back home. Perrie and Ed are singing some song from West Side Story and Stan is just giggling along, and it’s almost weird how weird Harry doesn’t find it. Liam and Niall would be running as fast as they could from this interaction, but somehow, Harry finds himself giggling along as well.

Maybe it’s because no one in this group seems like they should belong in this group, but Harry feels like he fits right in. He feels more himself than he has in weeks when Louis plops down beside him for a couple moments and throws out another title to add to their movie marathon. Even though he can’t contribute to the conversation about musicals and he has no idea whether The King and I or Oklahoma is more important, he never feels like an outsider.

Or, Harry is new to Plymouth and has had a rough start, but Louis won't rest until he makes it start to feel like home.

dirty laudry looks good on you (19k)

“So um, Niall mentioned you haven’t lived here long. What brings you to London?”

“What is this, an interview?” Louis smirks, stealing Harry’s drink and taking a sip. “Wanted a change of scenery. Dunno.”

Harry hums and takes his drink back, narrowing his eyes playfully at Louis as he takes a long sip. “Can I buy you a drink, or would you rather keep sharing mine?”

“You most certainly can buy me a drink,” Louis grins, grabbing the bottle back out of Harry’s hand, “but I’m still going to be stealing yours.”

Or, Harry is jaded and sad and resigned to be forever alone, until Niall sets him up with a friend of his whose broken pieces may just fit pretty well with Harry's.

we’ve got to get away from here (23k)

“It is my understanding that you are the most comprehensive member of this agency in the field of extraterrestrial life, is that right?” the agent asks. He’s trying to sound calm, but Louis can tell he’s shaken as well.

“Um, I guess so,” Louis says, glancing over at the man in the blanket again.

Suddenly, Louis’s blood runs cold. There’s something off about the man, something in his gaze, something Louis can’t put his finger on. It’s terribly unsettling, but excitement bubbles in his gut.

Or, Louis is an FBI agent who likes to think himself a paranormal expert, and Harry is the alien that somehow ended up in his office.

in midnights, in cups of coffee (15k)

“Sorry about the sugar,” Louis says, backing toward his own flat. “Bundle up before you go out.”

Harry smiles so sweetly then that Louis can’t imagine he’ll even need the sugar, if the muffins aren’t sweet enough just because they were made by him. “Thanks,” he says, eyes lingering a little longer on Louis before he lets himself back into Gemma’s apartment, and then Louis is just standing in the hallway by himself.

Or, Louis is overworked and cold, Harry is stressed out, and they might be in love.

come away with me (80k)

Or, Louis has to pick up the pieces of his and his daughter's life after his wife dies, and Harry is a beautiful stranger that just wants to help.

in the night (19k)

Or, the self-indulgent reversed pov and slight continuation of come away with me.

my song has not been sung (2k)

Or, Harry is watching a protest from the sidelines until a boy with a rainbow flag and a pretty smile drags him right into the middle of it.

i’ll be home for christmas (12k)

Or, Louis and Harry can’t decide where to go on Christmas.

autumn leaves (27k)

Or, Harry is an American soldier in France during World War II, and Louis is a French waiter that doesn't mean to fall in love with him.

we’ve got unfinished business (7k)

Or, there’s a ghost in Harry and Louis’s apartment that seemingly just wants them to date.

falling in love with you again (4k)

Or, three times in which Louis fell in love with Harry all over again.

heading for a small disaster (20k)

Or, Harry drives an Uber and Louis’s life is falling apart.

don’t stop to worry (4k)

It was just supposed to be a trim today, to skim off the dead ends of his hair. He had no idea it’d end the way it did.

Or, Harry cuts his hair. It's kind of a big deal.

diamonds, they fade (1k)

The cold does nothing tonight but remind Louis of the boy he left inside, the boy that’s curled up under the blankets by himself right now, the boy that’s probably going to come looking for him soon when he wakes up and Louis isn’t there.

Or, Louis has insomnia.

maps can be poems when you’re on your own (19k)

Or, Harry falls in love with the guy his best friend is fooling around with.

we could be enough (4k)

Or, Harry runs an anonymous crush confession column in the school newspaper and Louis has quite the crush to write in about.

no place to call home (22k)

Or, Louis isn't Peter Pan and Harry isn't Wendy and Neverland is nothing like Harry thought it would be, but it's perfect anyway.

show a little mercy (3k)

Louis hates him so, so much. But then again, he’s never loved someone quite so fiercely.

Or, Louis and Harry try to break up. (Or, a drabble based on Love You Goodbye)

kiss me on the mouth and set me free (17k)

Or, Louis is a gamer and Harry is a beauty guru, and VidCon is a good place to fall in love.

sing me like a choir (17k)

Or, Harry is nervous to do actual makeup on his channel, until his boyfriend Louis helps him out.

please don’t bite (21k)

Or, Harry releases his own line of beauty products, and Louis feels abandoned when Harry’s newfound fame gets the best of him.

underneath the christmas tree (17k)

Louis sends Harry on a scavenger hunt on Christmas Eve.

to be loved and to be in love (50k)

Harry and Louis' first year as a couple, as captured by snippets of home movies.

hope your heart is strong enough (4k)

Prompt: Set in the US, Harry spends Thanksgiving with Louis' family, or vice versa. Chaos ensues.

to watch you fall (16k)

Or, Harry is lonely and Louis is engaged to be married.

give me your hand and i’ll hold it (18k)

Prompt: Harry (9) moves in next to Louis (11). They have little roofs under their bedroom windows and like to sit there and talk. Seven years later, Louis has to leave for college.

you make me strong (14k)

Louis comes home from war with a few more problems than he left with, but Harry can't find it in himself to let him go.

When award-winning cinematographer Rodrigo Prieto started working on the video for “Willow” with Taylor Swift in November, he didn’t know that it was a part of her new surprise album, Evermore.

“I thought maybe it was a video for the previous album,” he tells Rolling Stone. “I didn’t even know what the song was at our first meeting.”

Prieto wasn’t the only one in the dark about the new record; Swift dropped Evermore last week with a very similar rollout to her previous LP Folklore, complete with a self-directed music video released at midnight along with the album: “Willow.” The video serves as a narrative continuation of the story in the “Cardigan” music video — which Prieto also worked on — featuring a ton of visual references to tracks from Folklore.

“Willow” starts off in the same cabin where the “Cardigan” video left off, and Swift is once again beckoned to go inside her magical, time-and-space-traveling piano. She follows a golden string (referencing the Folklore song “Invisible String”) and arrives at an autumnal forest clearing under a willow tree, where she sees the reflection of a man (played by her tour dancer Taeok Lee) and a woman in a moonlit pool. The string later leads her to a scene from her childhood, a carnival tent party where she performs inside a glass box, and a wintery seance in the middle of the forest. Eventually, the string leads her back to the cabin where she reunites with Lee.

As with the “Cardigan” video, Swift, Prieto and the production team not only had to keep the shoot under wraps, but also find innovative ways to film the project under Covid-19 safety protocols without endangering the lives of the crew. Prieto spoke to Rolling Stone about the production this time around, and how the team brought Swift’s witchy vision for “Willow” to life.

How did the “Willow” shoot differ from “Cardigan”? It looks like you guys were able to have other actors on set this time around, but how did that change the safety measures you had to follow?

It was still very, very strict. A big part of it was the whole testing protocols, which we also did last time. But when we were doing this video, we knew more [about the virus], and the safety guidelines were more specific. We followed the same ones the DGA has done, that my union Local 600 has done, SAG — they’ve all put in place these protocols that we did follow, and were very careful about it.

For instance, in the scene with the choreography around the tree and the clearing, you know, with a sort of dance around these magical orbs, there was a limit on how many actors and dancers we could have there. That was created by visual effects, actually — they added in more dancers. I think the actual number was 10 dancers when we were filming, and they all have masks on, actually. We can’t see their faces, and that’s partly because they have masks.

There’s only really one moment, in the cabin, where she’s in close contact with [another actor], with the man that she’s been missing at all these different moments. But, of course, both were tested, and they’d only take off their masks in the moment where we’re actually shooting. Everyone else would always wear masks on. And similar to last time, anybody who was in the immediate vicinity of the scene had to have a red wristband — it was all color-coded, in terms of who could be close to the scene and the actors. And certainly, it was very important to have not only a mask, but a face shield whenever we were anywhere close to Taylor or any of the other actors or dancers.

I still used the remote camera on a crane, so there wasn’t even a camera operator close to anybody. We were still following all the guidelines very closely, but now, it felt more relaxed in the sense that we have more information. We could just follow all these protocols. And we knew that we’d be safe because it was all pretty strict.

You mentioned last time that communication could sometimes be difficult on the “Cardigan” set because everyone had to kind of yell at each other or point to things since they couldn’t get in close proximity. Was Taylor able to be more hands-on in her directing this time around, like she was while you were shooting the music video for “The Man?”

That was still was the case — especially when you have a mask and a face shield, and you’re six feet away, you have to be a little louder to be heard. So we did maintain that protocol. But she was still very involved. I would stay at my monitor at the DIT [digital imaging technician] station, because it was the best image, but everyone would all be kind of looking at it from a distance, from six feet away.

But there was one moment that was unforgettable. And she actually has mentioned it, which was, just as we were starting to film on November 7th, we got the news of the election result. We were both looking at the monitor at the DIT station, and she got a text alert or something like that. Obviously, at that moment, we were all working on the video, but in the back of our minds we’re all like, OK, what’s gonna happen? And she was the only one who could actually look at her phone, because in fact, everybody had to relinquish their phones in the beginning so that nobody would take photos of anything, except for a few people like myself, who could sometimes use our phone to take a photograph as reference. And I was only using it very, very sporadically for that sort of thing.

So Taylor ended up being the messenger for the election results on set.

Exactly. So, she’s next to me — six feet away, but she was next to me. And she got this text, and she showed it to me. So I learned of the result from her at that moment, and what I told her was, “I will never forget this moment,” both because it’s such a historically important moment and because she was the one who showed me this information, you know. That was pretty special. Yeah. I felt like celebrating and doing a little dance, but I didn’t — we’re professionals and we’re working and also, I wanted to be respectful of anybody who had voted differently. But it was a very incredible moment, and just the beginning of a three-day shoot that turned out to be an adventure.

This video makes so many references to songs on Folklore and older songs from Taylor’s discography, both obvious and hidden. How did she lay out her vision to you?

The first meeting was talking about the story and the ideas. I still didn’t know the song, but the first thing was figuring out that it’s a continuation of the previous one we did together. At that moment, she was still kind of developing her ideas and trying to figure out exactly what was going to happen — for example, the ending wasn’t quite clear yet. She knew that she wanted to finish again in the cabin and that [the man] would be there, right. But during that meeting, we decided to have them both leave the cabin. That was an idea that came to us as we were talking as a team.

And then we went back and forth — at first she thought it should be night outside because it’s always been night, and then she changed her mind and said it should be daytime, so we were like, OK, what does it look like out there? Is it just the limbo? And then Ethan Tobman, our production designer, said it should be this sort of autumn forest. She was very much appreciative of that and really listened to everybody’s ideas.

There was also discussion about that moment in the clearing, about whether it should be a bonfire or not. First of all, with production, we would have had to shoot it outside and that would have been very complicated. But also she felt that, even with special effects, it was not a good thing to show with all the wildfires going on in California. So she came up with the concept of some type of orbs, something more magical, and Ethan Tobman came up with a bunch of different reference photos for that. That was the way we developed these concepts — even with the willow tree, Ethan sent some images and ideas, and one of them had these magenta leaves on the ground, which was weird and magical. Taylor and I loved that. It was that kind of back-and-forth in the pre-production phase, before we even heard the music.

It’s amazing how you were able to pull this off under such complicated circumstances — communicating back-and-forth over Zoom, and then with the actual video shoot itself.

It’s pretty tricky to get such a complicated and really technically challenging shoot off the ground, but we planned it all beforehand. Ethan Tobman was working with his art director Simon Morgan on designing the sets over Zoom. So, it was all overhead plans, and then you have to go to the set and map it out. For that clearing scene, for instance, Simon Morgan and myself, and my gaffer Manny Tapia and my key grip Donald Reynolds, we went to the soundstage first and taped the space in the center where the magic orbs would be. And then we measured the distance to the background with the blue screen, and taped where all the trees would be, and then figured out where all the lighting would be for there and the carnival set — everything had to be very, very precise, and the distance had to all be worked out. It really helped when we were actually shooting, because it went very smoothly. So, that’s how we made it.

"Everyone only writes about Peter ..."

[Carl Interview from september 2004, translated from german]

Carl Barât is beautiful. And so self-confident that he deliberately intensifies his mumbling for an interview ... and at the end asks charmingly, if it was bad. This is what the libertines are like: the outside world belongs to them. Inwardly, they are sensitive and vulnerable; just stumble over the simplest questions.

Carl Barât stands in front of me relaxed and damn good looking. Is that supposed to be the same one, who stared at you so pale with his distraught look from the album cover? The one who looked clearly youthful on the last tour? Now it is hard to believe that this man who comes up the stairs to the interview room with his shoes clattering loudly is only 26 years old.

He sits in front of me completely relaxed and mumbles "It's really hot here". And that where the libertines have just come from a festival in sunny Italy. Without Peter Doherty. Last year it still seemed inconceivable that the Libertines would finally break up their front man duo and go on a full tour without the problem child. In the meantime you look at their second album in disbelief and wonder, why the band even managed to record a second album.

This may be mainly due to their new manager Alan McGee: The man, who tamed the Oasis brothers, "chose us. He saw our problem and wanted to change something. He saw that we needed help ... and he could help us a lot." But how do you help a band like the Libertines, which Carl himself calls "difficult to manage"? Certainly not by slipping into the role of a contract dealer as a manager.

Much more important was McGee's human instinct: "He persuaded Peter to go to rehab. As a manager, he protected him from certain things." It was McGee who kept this complicated band structure together even in difficult times. "He's great", Carl summarizes his assessment of Alan McGee. And while he is saying that, he stops mumbling so outrageously for a brief moment. It seems important to him that he is understood here.

The effects of McGee's involvement may be good for Peter. But Carl obviously takes this topic with him. What he misses most about Peter while touring Europe without him, he has to think about for a while. Hasn't he been asked this question a thousand times? Is it so important to him that he has to look for the right words first? "A sense of unity ... our success ... when we work together you can feel that we are achieving, what we want to achieve"

But the songwriting is not always so cozy: I would like to know whether there is cooperation or rivalry between the two when writing. Again Carl has to think twice to come up with a monosyllabic answer: "Both a little."

The friction between Doherty and Barât is constant. While the songs of the Libertines on "Up The Bracket" still had a clear framework that held them together, this now seems to be falling apart like the bond between the two front men. The dispute between Carl and Peter is reflected on every corner. But was this step towards being less catchy really a conscious one? "No, you don't do that on purpose. It's just different. It was a bit more sincere than the first time. Because we knew that we had people's attention", explains Barât the self-image when working on the second album.

But could the irritable, violent mood that prevailed between the heads of the Libertines during the recordings for the second work have released positive energies? "Violence?" Asks Carl in disbelief. I try again, if the trouble in the band also unleashes positive energy. "Having troubles? I don't think so! But, well ... I don't know if I really understand the question." I'll make it clearer: if you argue in the studio, for example, doesn't that help you? "But I wouldn't say that that's positive. Maybe it has something to do with passion. I don't know."

Often in the last few weeks it has been written that the album should tell the libertines' view of their own story of friendship, setbacks, and forgiveness. It is intended as a reply to the countless articles in the tabloid press. But Carl Barât doesn't want to know anything about that this afternoon in Berlin: "No, I don't want to oppose anything to the boulevard. I don't want to have anything to do with this world." These are just stories about life and music. "We just want people to listen to us." Which is difficult, because "everyone only writes about Peter. Unfortunately, that also overshadows the album." Carl finds it "hard to do interviews. You reveal so much personal information. And when you are unlucky people write really terrible things about you, especially the tabloids."

Contrary to Carl's attitude, Peter literally runs to the gossip papers and tells them his hot stories of addiction, disappointment and hope. You'd think Carl would be incredibly pissed off at this behavior: "No, not really ... as long as he's telling the truth! Which is not always the case ... And then I get very angry."

Nor is he really surprised by rumors that Peter is posting libertines demos on his Babyshambles site. When asked about this project by Peter Dohertys, he first sighs for a long time. "I don't really want to talk about that." No problem. This often seems to be the keyword for Carl. As soon as you tell him: It's OK, you don't have to talk about it, then he decides to do it: "Oh, I don't know," he says, and sounds like a worried mother, "I'm never really surprised about something like that. Just disappointed. "

Carl has no contact with Peter at the moment anyway. He must first "stop using crack and heroin" before he can return to the band. Is it likely that it will stop? "At the moment I don't believe in it," Carl mumbled quickly and incomprehensibly. Despite all this, he continues to think that the Libertines are a very romantic band, dreams of his fairy tales of Albion and Arcadia. And about the fact that everything will be fine again: "The band will definitely go on". The question is not whether, but how things will go on with the libertines.

Even the hype surrounding the band didn't leave any significant marks on Carl: He only noticed something in interviews anyway. "But no, that has nothing to do with my world." Much more important than the gossip magazines are the fans, with whom the Libertines have developed a very special relationship, especially in England. In their homeland they often play "intimate gigs" that are announced on their homepage shortly beforehand. With his "Babyshambles", Peter Doherty has already gone so far as to organize concerts with fans or even at home.

But what is the intention behind these concerts? They have enough fans anyway: After all, their second album in England hit number one in the charts from scratch. "I like to play the guitar, make music and be in bands. And I like those big buses, stopping somewhere, driving off again, and all the other stuff, I don't like. But that's probably how it is when you play, on the road. If you want to make music, you need an audience that wants to hear you. "

Manager McGee not only attested that the Libertines had an intimate relationship with their fans, he even called them the "most culturally significant band, perhaps since punk emerged". "He's our manager, he says a lot of things like that." You don't want to believe it, can't the convinced Carl understand such a statement? "But I think so. It's about passion. You have to show people that they should go their own way. You have to show them a way."

To encourage young bands to go their own way, Carl also has his own club project in London. "I do this to have a nice evening. And there are people who want to go on stage. There are some brilliant bands that I want to give an audience to."

The moment I signal to Carl that I don't really have any more questions, he suddenly comes to life. His mumbling settles on a bearable level, he offers me a butt and starts chatting away. That he is looking forward to the concert tonight because he remembers the German audience as so "passionate".

And that the Coke Light Lemon he is drinking is really disgusting: "it has never seen a lemon in it‘s life." Suddenly he's relaxed, joking about how gross Coke Vanilla is, too. Then he would like to know something about monuments near the Berlin Victory Column. Whether it had something to do with the Second World War. Apropos: is the libertines song "Arbeit Macht Frei" a provocation? "It has nothing to do with Germany or the Germans. The song is about something that has historically been synonymous with hypocrisy and hypocrisy." All right.

Carl explains to me, that the builder of the Oberbaum Bridge killed himself because the bridge was not high enough ... and finds this an understandable reason for suicide. But even now he remains a little skeptical. What remains is the fear of the lurid tabloids that want to squeeze out the history of the band even further.

"Oh what became of the Likely Lads? What became of the dreams we had? Oh what became of forever?" Can something like this band, shaped by a back and forth between friendship and rifts, really last forever? "I don't know, I've never tried!"

source: https://www.laut.de/The-Libertines/Interviews/Jeder-schreibt-nur-ueber-Peter-...-13-09-2004-240

200924 20 Questions With SuperM: The K-Pop Supergroup On Their New Album & Becoming ‘Like Family’ With Each Other

Last year, SuperM notched a huge win when their self-titled “mini album” debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 albums chart. The K-pop supergroup -- which consists of members of EXO, SHINee, NCT 127 and WayV -- had generated a huge amount of buzz before releasing a single track thanks to its star-studded lineup, and with the No. 1 bow, SuperM was off to an explosive start.

With Super One, the group’s first full-length out Friday (Sept. 25), SuperM continues its positive momentum. The hopeful, hook-stuffed album allows all seven members of SuperM to shine, while also expanding the group’s pop aesthetic and finding the right balance between singing and rapping. Songs like “Wish You Were Here,” “Better Days” and lead single “100” demonstrate SuperM’s dexterity -- and even though it’s still uncertain when their global fans will be able to see the songs performed live, the collective sounds prepared to put on an eclectic, wide-ranging show with these tracks.

Ahead of their new album’s release, the members of SuperM answered 20 questions about their musical backgrounds, leaning on each other during the pandemic, the highlights of Super One and more:

1. What’s the first piece of music that you bought for yourself, and what was the medium?

BAEKHYUN: An Avril Lavigne CD. I really liked her music when I was young so I remember going to a CD store with my brother to buy her album.

2. What was the first concert you saw?

KAI: I remember I went to my first concert when I was 16 years old. This was Usher’s concert when he came to Korea. Seeing him perform onstage inspired me to work harder towards my dream to become an artist like him. I still can’t forget the energy and the vibe of people around me and remember wanting to perform on a big stage like that.

3. Who made you realize you could be an artist full-time?

TAEMIN: My mom was the first person actually. When I was very young, she saw how much I enjoyed singing and dancing and encouraged me to audition. Since then, I started moving towards my dream to become an artist and performer. She helped me discover my passion at an early age and encouraged me to do what I love, and for that, I’m forever grateful.

4. What’s at the top of your professional bucket list?

TAEYONG: I just want everyone I work with to be happy, and work together for a long time. This includes not just SuperM members, but also the rest of the staff and the team behind the scenes that make it all happen!

5. How did your hometown/city shape who you are?

MARK: I think everyone is influenced by their hometown and where they come from. It’s really special to be a K-pop artist and perform in front of fans in Canada, where I’m from. When we performed in my hometown during the world tour earlier this year, it was such a significant “homecoming” moment for me. Canada always has a special place in my heart.

6. What’s the last song you listened to?

LUCAS: The last song I listened to is Justin Bieber’s new song, “Holy.” It’s a great song to listen to when you are feeling tired. I listen to it on repeat when I’m on the move during the day and it puts me in a good mood.

7. If you could see any artist in concert, dead or alive, who would it be?

TEN: I would choose Michael Jackson, because I always regret that I didn’t get to see him perform onstage live. I look up to him as an artist, and I’d love to see him sing and dance live at one of his concerts.

8. What’s the craziest thing you’ve seen happen in the crowd of one of your shows?

MARK: Well, one thing that happens at every show is how emotional I get seeing the venue packed with our fans. Before going onstage, I always take a peek at the audience from behind the curtain, and it’s hard to describe the exact feeling in words but it feels surreal — too good to be true, almost. Especially for a standing audience, it’s not easy standing for hours straight in a tight space, but their energy never goes down. I never feel tired onstage because of them. It’s still pretty crazy to me to see and feel their energy every time. I miss them!

9. How has the pandemic affected the way you’ve created music in 2020?

BAEKHYUN: The process of creating music, writing and recording songs, was pretty much the same. However, planning the album promotion during pandemic was a little different, since everything had to be done online. We had to think of fun and unique ways to interact with our fans, from creating our own reality show to holding livestream, AR tech-based concerts. We have a lot more creative content in store for our fans, so stay tuned!

10. What was your reaction to SuperM’s mini album topping the Billboard 200 chart last year?

KAI: Everyone was super happy. We put our heart and soul into the album and worked really hard on it, so in a way, we were looking forward to the results. When we saw that the EP hit number one on the chart, it was one of the happiest moments of our career.

11. What’s the biggest difference, creatively speaking, between last year’s mini album and Super One?

TEN: The mini album was more about introducing SuperM and our SMP-style performances, whereas for Super One, it shows more of our different musical styles and really brings out the dynamic qualities that we possess as a group. So, to put it simply, Super One is the completed version/look of SuperM. Also, what was important for us when creating this album was to include a message of hope and deliver that positivity and strength to listeners. Music can really lift your spirits when you’re feeling down, so I hope people find healing and happiness while listening to our music. That would make us very happy.

12. Why did “100” make the most sense as a lead single?

TAEYONG: “100” is all about speed and energy, so it’s the perfect single to showcase SuperM’s power as the opening act of Super One. It also helps convey the message that we are always moving forward at full-speed, giving our 100% in all we do.

13. What’s one song on the album that you suspect will be a big fan favorite?

LUCAS: I think fans will like “Better Days.” It’s a nice ballad song for a great start to your day. It also contains a message of comfort and empathy to help get through these difficult times. We hope our fans can feel the warmth of this messaging through our vocals and fluid rapping.

14. How has the group bonded during what’s been a wild 2020?

TAEMIN: We’ve been through a lot and have always been there for each other through thick and thin so naturally, we’ve gotten very close. They’re like family now. We didn’t have to “try” to become close, it just naturally happened -- as if we were destined to be in the same group.

15. SuperM has been part of a massive year for the global expansion of K-pop. How does it feel to see so many K-pop songs, albums and artists setting records?

MARK: This makes me really proud. I remember growing up in Canada, a lot of people at my school didn’t know K-pop. It was mainly just popular among Koreans. Now, so many people all over the world know about it and K-pop is getting so much attention. I feel honored and proud to be a part of this movement. Bringing the two cultures closer together and building that bridge through music is such a historic moment, and I can’t wait to contribute more to it and create great music for listeners worldwide.

16. What’s your go-to song that you’ve been singing along to lately?

BAEKHYUN: These days, I have Eric Benet’s “Still with You” on repeat, so I’ve been singing this a lot lately. This was one of my favorite songs in high school, and ever since I started spending more time at home, I’ve been revisiting some of my old favorite playlists. They bring me back to that moment when I was in school, aspiring to become an artist.

17. What movie, or song, always makes you cry?

TEN: This always changes, but when I can empathize with the characters in a movie or connect with the emotions in a song, it makes me cry. I recently cried watching the animated film, Grave of the Fireflies. I watched this for the first time when I was young, but re-watching it as an adult touched me in a different way.

18. If you were not a musician, what would you be?

LUCAS: If not a musician, I’d probably be a firefighter – a job that saves other people’s lives is truly inspiring to me. But if not a firefighter, I’d definitely choose a career that make people happy, just like what I try to do now through music and performing.

19. What’s one piece of advice you would give to your younger self?

KAI: I would tell my younger self to take care of yourself and stay healthy, because health is so important! I would also tell him not to be so hard on himself and enjoy the ride as a young teenager. This is the time for having fun and trying different things! Back then, I was so focused on my career and working towards my dreams that I didn’t spend a lot of time doing “regular teenager experiences,” which I wish I did more of!

20. What’s your message to fans who have been supporting SuperM -- and waiting for this album to arrive?

TAEMIN: It’s been almost a year now since our debut, and we are incredibly grateful to have so many fans cheer us on. We put our heart and soul into the album knowing that our fans have been waiting for a long time. While we’re sad that that we can’t meet them in person, we hope they can feel the positive energy through our songs and performances.

Jason Lipshutz @ Billboard

#80-71

80. The Lucky One (7.244) Highest score was 11 (@treacherousdemo​); Lowest score was 5

I think we should all take some time out of our day to rewatch the Red Tour performance of The Lucky One. This song really does get slept on a bit, doesn’t it?

Highlighted comments: @corneliaavenue​: “"They tell you that your lucky, but youre so confused cause you don't feel pretty you just feel used" is a god tier lyric”  @yourivysgrows: “I love the story ??”

79. Soon You’ll Get Better (ft. The Chicks) (7.250) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 4

Like Ronan, this is a song I’m not going to say much on. But I will say that it was beautiful of Taylor to perform this song on the One World: Together at Home benefit concert, especially knowing how difficult this song was for her to just put out to the world.

Highlighted comments: @itspeterlosingwendy: “its great but it makes me sad” @yourivysgrows: “I cannot listen to this one.” @corneliaavenue: “needs more Chicks, needs to make me not so sad”

78. seven (7.275) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 2

This song is hauntingly beautiful. Taylor’s voice on this really makes the song in my opinion, it helps capture the childlike innocence and naivety. Also, the lyric “passed down like folk songs, the love lasts so long” may as well be a thesis statement for folklore the album.

Highlighted comments: @yourivysgrows: “This is the only one I skip /:”

77. Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince (7.306) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 5

This song deserved so much more! I think it’s an absolutely brilliant metaphor, and while I understand the marketing choice behind writing a whole new song to push alongside the film, I really wish that Miss Americana the documentary had just used Miss Americana the song as it’s companion piece. Also this could have had an incredible, cinematic music video. We were robbed, I say! Robbed!

Highlighted comments: @treacherousdemo​: [gives the song a 5] “i apologize. had to be said though.” (no it didn’t!) @everfolk: “I love the cinematic feel of this song, and I feel like people don't acknowledge the fantastic metaphor it has enough” 

76. dorothea (7.320) Highest score was 9.5; Lowest score was 5

This is... kinda the most yeehaw Taylor has gotten since she left her yeehaw era? The fact that it connects to ‘tis the damn season and Taylor has said that Dorothea attended the same school as Betty, James and Inez makes me wish we had gotten a full-blown concept album exploring the lives in this small town that Taylor conjured up from her imagination.

Highlighted comments: @yourivysgrows: “Made me love the name Dorothea tbh”

75. Red (7.328) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 2

Can you believe Taylor invented colours with this song? She’s so powerful.

Highlighted comments: @leadinmeon: “this song is so boring why do ppl like it” @corneliaavenue: “You were red and you liked me 'cause I was blue / But you touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky / And you decided purple just wasn't for you” @everfolk: “I love the metaphors in this song especially the first lyric”

74. You Are in Love (7.350) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 2

In case you’ve forgotten, Taylor wrote this song about Jack Antonoff and Lena Dunham! Once you’ve been sufficiently horrified by that knowledge, take comfort in the fact that it’s now probably something that Taylor herself relates to. And that’s very sweet.

Highlighted comments: @liabilitys: “patiently waiting for the day i can relate”

72. Breathe / Forever & Always (7.369) Breathe: Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 4.9 Forever & Always: Highest score was 9.5; Lowest score was 4

A Fearless double-feature tie! Breathe includes a feature of the ever-so-iconic 2am motif, and also has backing vocals from Colbie Caillat, a country singer I am not at all familiar with.

Highlighted comments: @tobesolonely: “*cries in 2 am*” @yourivysgrows: “I forget this one existed”

As for Forever & Always... she deserves better! Forever & Always has live performances that bring out peak unhinged Taylor. I mean... “if guys don’t want me to write bad songs about them, they shouldn’t do bad things!”. THE CHAIR THROW?! Fearless Taylor was batshit crazy and we all need to pay her more respect.

Highlighted comments: @walte01: “prefer the piano version” (a lot of people do </3) @onceintwentylifetimes: “both versions are fantastic and so is the live…such a good song”

71. marjorie (7.380) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 4

I only gave this song a 6, and I’m kinda regretting it because it’s kinda beautiful? I really like the “what died didn’t stay dead” hook and I love the parallel between track 13 on folklore mentioning Taylor’s grandfather, and track 13 on evermore being a tribute to her grandmother.

Highlighted comments: @yourivysgrows: “This one is so cute”

[INTERVIEW] Baekhyun, Kai - 201001 Elle: “SuperM On Album Super One's Message, Friendship & Their Group Halloween Costume”

"What happens when you put together an Avengers-style K-pop group, featuring the top talent from some of South Korea's biggest boy bands, and unite their individual bands' fan bases? The boys of SuperM—Mark (from NCT and NCT 127), Kai (from EXO), Ten (from WayV and NCT), Lucas (from WayV and NCT), Taemin (from SHINee), Taeyong (from NCT and NCT 127), and Baekhyun (from EXO)—started that journey a year ago and made history.

With their first, self-titled EP, SuperM became the first debut K-pop act to reach #1 on the Billboard 200 albums chart. Nearly a year later, their first full-length album Super One is newly released—and very much influenced by the ongoing coronavirus pandemic, which has stalled most musicians' plans for touring and performing for fans. Songs like "Together at Home" poignantly touch on it, with lyrics focused on finding the silver lining and embracing little pleasures.

Taemin tells ELLE.com that the boys want Super One to bring joy to their fans, and a sense of unity as the world goes through this period of quarantining and social distancing. "We want our fans to know that despite the distance, we are together in spirit," he says. "We created this album wanting to give back to our fans who give us unconditional love and support. Hopefully through our music, they can feel the positive energy and find happiness and hope to help get through this difficult time together."

Below, the boys discuss the album with ELLE, along with insights into how their friendship changed during their first year as a group, their experiences quarantining, and what their group Halloween costume has to be.

How has it felt to watch K-pop, C-pop, and J-pop take off in the West over the past couple years, and be part of that moment?

Taemin: As a K-pop artist, I am very proud. From performing in Paris and L.A. for the first time to having fans recognize me when we were taking photos along Abbey Road in London, these moments don’t seem that long ago, but it’s amazing to see how quickly K-pop has become popular around the globe. I am proud to have been a part of this movement and I’ll continue to work hard to help take K-pop to greater heights.

Last October, you made history as the first debut Korean act to hit #1 on the Billboard 200 with your SuperM EP. How did it feel taking that in? As a group, what is your dream to accomplish in the U.S. music scene?

Baekhyun: To have our first debut album hit number one on the chart was an incredible honor and the happiest, unexpected surprise. This is all because of our fans and I am so grateful for all the love and support they have and continue to give us. This just made me want to work harder to create a better album and provide more amazing content that brings joy to the fans. As for my goal in the U.S. music scene, when everything gets better, it’d be a dream come true to perform during the Super Bowl Halftime Show!

You’ve all known each other for years before working together. What were your first impressions of each other?

Mark: Before coming together as SuperM, I always looked up to them as role models. It was a cool feeling to see them all when we first had our meeting. I was thrilled and really looking forward to being on a team with them. And so, getting close to them as a brother and as a person was a good transition from just knowing them as senior artists. They all have their own brother-like personalities and I’m really happy to be able to see that side of them and have them accept me as a brother too.

Kai told Billboard last October that there was "nothing new to learn" about each other since you’ve all been friends for years. But what has working together as a group on this album taught you musically?

Taeyong: All the members are great artists and performers—each with their own unique, individual charm. Put them together and you get this amazing synergy onstage that’s been fun to show our fans. There are so many lessons I’ve learned from being part of SuperM but I would have to say the older members’ leadership and their ability to empathize with others inspired me to become a better leader for NCT 127. They really listen to what you have to say and always give great advice so I try to be the same for NCT 127 and help bring out the best in each member. I still have a lot to learn but I’m always trying to improve and working with SuperM encourages me to do so.

Ten: I learned so much from all the members while working on this album. They give the best advice, especially the senior members. Taemin gave me great tips on how to better express myself on stage and Baekhyun helped me a lot with my vocals. Outside of work, we can have deep conversations about anything. We all began our career at a young age so they really understand what I’m going through and how I feel. I can always count on them when I need someone to talk to.

How has being bandmates changed your friendships over the last year?

Kai: In the beginning, because we mostly knew each other as juniors/seniors within the industry and label, it was slightly awkward. But once we started to get to know each other, we were all able to connect with each other within the older/younger brother dynamic, so now they really feel like brothers to me. And I want to keep it that way going forward.

What has been your favorite moment from your first year together?

Baekhyun: One of my favorite moments would have to be when we filmed the reality show together. It was fun to do “regular” things together like cooking, playing games, and doing challenges. Everyone has a great sense of humor so we laughed the entire time. It was a great opportunity for us to bond and we had a blast.

Kai: I’d have to say when we were touring around the world together—and more recently, when we got to shoot our own reality TV show. Each of those moments brought us much closer together.

Taemin: When we made our debut as SuperM, and held our very first showcase at Capitol Records. I remember thinking, "This is another new beginning for me" and it brought back old memories of when I auditioned for SM and debuted as SHINee. It felt like another new path was created for me and I remember feeling all kinds of emotions throughout the day.

Taeyong: If you think about it, a year is not that long, but we made so many memories together and I think that’s because we are all positive-minded people. In the past year, we spent almost half a year on a world tour and the other half practicing and preparing for our album. I’ve grown a lot both on a professional and personal level so I cherish every single moment!

Mark: I think it would have to be our debut showcase in L.A. at the Capitol Records Tower. We were nervous but it felt good that we were all nervous together. Sharing the same emotions with the members is a good feeling because you know we’re all in it together.

Ten: When we went on our world tour. Experiencing different cultures and meeting our fans worldwide was unforgettable. Also, we all got very close during the tour from being together 24/7. Because we come from different groups, this was our first time doing a tour together so we were able to really bond.

Lucas: Our first performance of "Jopping" in L.A. It was a great feeling to finally be able to show the world what we’ve been working really hard on. The audience’s energy, the city, and the overall vibe that day was incredible. I’ll never forget it.

What song on Super One are you most proud of and why?

Taeyong: I am most proud of "Together at Home." It’s a little more special to me because I wrote some of the lyrics for the song. I put a lot of thought into the messaging and wanted to say that even though we are not physically together, we can find new ways to be there for each other. With what’s going on right now, I feel like fans can relate to the message and find comfort knowing that no matter what, we’ll always find a way to reach them. It’s a feel-good song that anyone can hum along to.

Lucas: I choose "Infinity." You can really feel our energy and our ambition "to go to infinity." Our title song, "One," is a hybrid remix that combines "Infinity" and "Monster" so it’s fun to hear the two tracks on their own and then hear "One" which has a completely different vibe. Each has its own charm.

Mark, you helped write "100" and Taeyong and Mark, you worked together to write "Together at Home." What do those songs mean to you? How has your songwriting evolved as you’ve worked on more music?

Taeyong: "Together at Home" [has] special meaning to me. When writing the lyrics, I tried to be as honest as possible with my feelings and thankfully, the team loved it, so I was very happy about that. Hopefully fans can also feel the sincerity of the message and like the song as much as I do.

Mark: It was fun writing both songs but I enjoyed "Together at Home" a little more because it really suits the current situation we’re all going through and I could really relate to it. Through this process, I realized how important it is to stay true to yourself. You can get inspired and get ideas from basically everything around you, but ultimately, you need to interpret them in your own way. Staying true to yourself differentiates you from other artists. This is what I always try to bring alive through my music.

Who would you love to collaborate with?

Taemin: I would love to collaborate with Jessie J one day. Her performances are very sincere and I can feel her singing from the heart. I admire her energy and passion onstage and she is someone I feel I can learn a lot from. I also think we would create great synergy together if we collaborated!

You all are incredible dancers. What song from Super One has your favorite choreography so far?

Kai: I personally like "Tiger Inside." The choreography is inspired by the movement of a tiger and fits perfectly with the concept and theme of the song. I like that the choreography has its own storyline.

Quarantine and COVID-19 have drastically changed every musicians’ plans for the year. What is a day in the life of quarantine like for you? What things have you done for self-care when the days have felt harder?

Ten: First, I do the basics like wash my hands often, take vitamins, eat healthy, and exercise. But, most importantly, I’ve been keeping myself busy at home relaxing, practicing my vocals and dancing skills, finding new hobbies, and trying new activities that I didn’t have the time to try before. I was actually surprised at how much you can do at home.

Is there anything you can tease about what fans can expect for your next tour?

Mark: When we are able to tour again, I can guarantee we’ll be preparing the best show ever. As much as we missed out on a lot of shows due to inevitable circumstances, when it’s safe and the next tour opens, we’ll bring everything we have for the fans, especially songs from Super One.

What Halloween group costume will SuperM do this year?

Mark: It would have to be The Avengers! And if I were to do it myself, it would still be a character from The Avengers. Maybe Spider-Man? It’s a character fans really like and I think it suits me really well.

What's an entertainment pick—TV show, music, movie, video game, book—you’ve loved in quarantine?

Baekhyun: I’m sure many people are already watching a lot of Netflix and YouTube videos at home. Rather than an entertainment pick, I think it’s a great idea to take advantage of the time we have and start a new hobby you can do indoors—like learning to play a new instrument. Everyone has something they’ve always wanted to try but never did. Now is a great time to start! If you're interested in learning a new instrument, there are many great books and tutorial videos online so you can teach yourself!

Taeyong: SuperM videos! We created a lot of content for you guys and they’ll definitely keep you entertained and make time go by faster. Hopefully they’ll make you laugh too!

What’s next for SuperM?

Baekhyun: Fans have already seen our powerful, energetic side through our performances. Now, we want to get closer to the fans and show them more of our "human" side—who we are off-stage. Of course, we’ll continue to bring great performances but at the same time, we want fans to feel comfortable approaching us and not feel so distant. Most importantly, I want fans to find comfort and positive energy in our music."

Credit: Elle.

My Senior Soundtrack - Playlist

Written by Jen Moglia. Graphic by Allison Thompson. 

At the end of this month, I’ll finally be graduating high school. Typing that sentence definitely felt surreal. 

Years and years of hard work and stress, with some not-so-bad times mixed in, will culminate in the moment I’ve been waiting for for as long as I can remember. I had been told countless times that senior year would be easy and that high school would consist of the best years of my life, and while I did enjoy a lot of it, there were also some incredibly difficult times, especially this year. 

What follows is a list of songs that got me through some of those darker moments. I hope that they can be there for you too. 

“Roses” - Watsky

Favorite Lyric: “Leaving is supposed to be hard / Man, I thought it so was selfish of people I love to keep falling out of my life / But now I know / No, I don't take it personal”

This was a song that I connected with a lot when making decisions for college - did I want to move away and start a new adventure on my own, or did I want to stay home with all the people and places that I knew and loved? Listening to these lyrics helped me feel better about my decision to move away for school, learning that I wasn’t selfish for wanting to start fresh.

“Never Grow Up” - Taylor Swift

Favorite Lyric: “And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots / But don't make her drop you off around the block / Remember that she's gettin' older too / And don't lose the way that you dance / Around in your PJs getting ready for school”

Taylor Swift is one of my favorite artists of all time, and this song has been hitting particularly hard for me lately. For as much as I can’t wait to start this next chapter of my life, there’s so much about home and my family that I’ll miss more than they will ever know.

“Boston” - Augustana

Favorite Lyric: “She said ‘I think I'll go to Boston / I think I'll start a new life / I think I'll start it over / Where no one knows my name’”

Augustana’s most popular song, I listened to this track a ton when I was first starting high school, dreaming of running away someday. The fact that that day is almost here is crazy to me.

“Swim” - Jack’s Mannequin

Favorite Lyric: “You gotta swim, swim in the dark / There's no shame in drifting / Feel the tide shifting and wait for the spark / Yeah, you gotta swim, don't let yourself sink / Just find the horizon / I promise you, it's not as far as you think”

Another song that I loved in my late middle school/early high school years, this band and all of Andrew McMahon’s projects in general have been staples in my Spotify library for years. This track in particular served as motivation for me to keep going during hard times.

“North Hansen” - Bearings

Favorite Lyric: “I've got dreams, I've got needs / I've got things I believe / That I just can not let go / I still, think about you every single day / I still miss that old North Hansen Home / Sometimes I wanna go home / All I'm saying is the ending scares me every time / Your words replaying / Over and over I save them in my mind / Now I'm grabbing a hold / Of what's about to unfold”

On the flip side, Bearings has been a huge part of the last few years of my high school experience; their 2019 tour with Grayscale, Belmont, and Rich People was the first tour I ever did multiple dates of, and those days and nights I spent traveling and singing my heart out truly changed my life. I leaned on this band’s entire discography during my junior and senior year, but this song specifically reminded me that it’s okay to be scared of leaving home as the future approaches.

“Ribs” - Lorde

Favorite Lyric: “This dream isn't feeling sweet / We're reeling through the midnight streets / And I've never felt more alone / It feels so scary getting old / I want 'em back / The minds we had / How all the thoughts / Moved 'round our heads”

How could I make a “coming of age” playlist without this song on it? Lorde has been a big part of my life for a while now - her hit song “Royals” was the ringtone on my first Smartphone in fifth grade, and I saw her live for the first time on the night before my 15th birthday on her Melodrama World Tour in Brooklyn, New York. Much like the last song, this track perfectly captures the fear of the future and getting older.

“Atlantic” - Grayscale

Favorite Lyric: “This place feels more and more like nowhere to me / I'm sick of waiting for a fire to ignite / I could just leave here without a goodbye / I'll burn down this bridge / And set my life up in smoke...I want to go / Run from this panic / I need the unknown”

As I mentioned earlier, attending four dates of Grayscale’s Nella Vita Part One Tour and six dates of the album cycle in total (bringing me to a grand total of ten times seeing this band) was a formative experience for me. Getting to end every night screaming the lyrics to this song, once again, dreaming of starting a new life as soon as I could, was cathartic.

“City Lights” - Emblem 3

Favorite Lyric: “Caught up in those pretty city lights / Wishing on a star for your direction / Thinking of a new and different life / Babe, I know this one ain't what you've been dreaming”

I choreographed my “senior solo” in my dance class to this song, one of my favorites for many years. Although I have a feeling it’s about someone moving thousands of miles away to chase dreams of stardom rather than moving two hours away to attend college, it certainly served as a source of comfort for me.

“Play” - Rich People

Favorite Lyric: “Because I know I'm beautiful enough / For someone to love / I don't know many things / But I feel everything / And I'm just too young to give up”

Rich People is my favorite band of all time, which you probably already know if you follow me on social media, and getting to watch them perform and connect with them was a major part of why following the Nella Vita Part One Tour was so pivotal for me. This song is my favorite off of their most recent album “Harmony”, and my graduation cap will have these lyrics in frontman Rob Rich’s handwriting on it later this month. This band and this song mean everything to me.

“Dream Envy” - Rich People

Favorite Lyric: “It's no way to live / Sitting on the fence asking myself ‘what if?’”

Another Rich People song, no surprise here, this is one of my favorites from their first release, “Jacob’s Ladder.” It reminded me that “sitting on the fence asking myself ‘what if?’”, is, indeed, no way to live, and it pushed me to make definitive decisions, leaving no stone unturned.

“Something Bigger Than This” - Trophy Eyes

Favorite Lyric: “I'm still flying through my twenties / Waiting for someone to say I made it / Golden boy, tiny paycheck / Big ideas and broken heartstrings / Waking up in the same old skin / It ain't easy to believe / We were born for something bigger than this / It don't make much sense right now / But it will all come together when the lights go out”

I saw Trophy Eyes live for the first time at the start of my sophomore year at the Stereo Garden in Patchogue, New York, leaving my last-period algebra class early to attend their show with Neck Deep, WSTR, and Stand Atlantic (sorry, Ms. Sloane). Their music has resonated deeply with me since then, and this song has especially been a huge source of motivation for me when I was feeling down about myself.

“Forevermore” - The Maine

Favorite Lyric: “Never really ever felt this type of vulnerable / Don't have to hide, don't have to fear / All you have to be is here...And I said, ‘I wanna feel like this forever’ / Even if forever's just for now / We're on fire, let us burn / As the outside world, it turns / We are here and alive / In our corner of time / Forevermore”

The Maine is another band that I feel has been here for me for as long as I can remember, remaining in my daily rotation since the summer before high school started. This song, off their most recent album “You Are OK”, has reminded me that wherever I am is exactly where I need to be at that point in time and to embrace every single moment.

“Flowers on the Grave” - The Maine

Favorite Lyric: “Feel the moment all around you / And the quiet that surrounds you / The time you have is sacred / Don't wait around and waste it / They can't take that away from you / Everything is temporary / Even the sorrow that you carry...'Cause you don't plan life, you live it / You don't take love, you give it / You can't change what is written / So when fate cries, you listen / And flowers on the grave / Of the child that I used to be”

The first time that I saw The Maine was at the New York City date of their “The Mirror” tour at Webster Hall. When they closed with this song, I was near inconsolable; my friends were practically passing me around to hug me and make sure I was alright. Similar to the last song, this track reminds me to live life to the fullest and not take anything for granted, not wasting any time mourning the past and only looking towards the future.

“Old Book” - Real Friends

Favorite Lyric: “It really weirds me out / Because I never thought I'd be where I am today...This isn’t where I want to be / Getting older scares the shit out of me”

On the topic of bands that were constants for me in my formative years, Real Friends was one of the first pop-punk bands that I truly loved. I wore a shirt with their “The Home Inside My Head” album cover on it on my first day of high school, and their 2018 show with Eat Your Heart Out, Grayscale, and Boston Manor at Irving Plaza in New York City was one of my first real general admission concerts; I don’t think I’d be where I am today if I didn’t go to that show. This song  always served as a reminder that I wasn’t alone in my worries about the future, and that it would all be okay, even if I didn’t know what I was doing or where I was going.

“Satellite” - Rise Against

Favorite Lyric: “We'll come clean and start over / The rest of our lives / When we're gone, we'll stay gone / Out of sight, out of mind / It's not too late, we have the rest of our lives...This is a life that you can’t deny us now”

Four years ago this week, I saw Rise Against for the first time, opening for Deftones at Jones Beach in Wantagh, New York with my dad; at the end of July, I’ll get to see them kick off their latest tour at Pier 17 in New York City with one of my best friends. If that isn’t a full-circle moment, I don’t know what is. Rise Against is one of my favorite bands of all time, and their music has always made me feel strengthened and empowered. This song specifically inspired me to reclaim my own life, not letting anyone else determine the outcome and my mindset but myself - it’s also the perfect angsty soundtrack to a fresh start.

“Something Special” - A Will Away

Favorite Lyric: “‘Pull out your clothes / You're made for something special’ / If that's what it takes to get you out of bed / You think you're meant for California / But that's just in your head / I saw you howling at the street lights / Pressed against the skin you want to shed / You tore down all the walls for answers / And found this shit instead...Don't let the poison that surrounds you / Stifle out the life you want to live / Please know it truly doesn't matter / And truly never did”

Though I’ve been listening to them since my sophomore year of high school, A Will Away is a band that I really got into this year as a senior. “Something Special” is my favorite song off of their album “Here Again”, and while I know it wasn’t written about finding friends that feel like family, rejecting negativity, and starting a new chapter, that’s certainly what it’s about for me.

“Lead Balloon” - Vanna

Favorite Lyric: “This isn't how we die / You're not reading the ending right / You are meant for greatness / Open up your eyes and face it / Now to your feet and follow me / The road is hard but you're harder / Can't you feel your heartbeat starting?...You're weak but you can feel now / Your soul slowly getting out / You are so strong / And you'll have to carry on now / Cause I know that you know how”

Vanna’s “All Hell” was an album I discovered around this time last year, and I listened to it non-stop for all of summer 2020. It became one of my favorite records ever (and not just because of the pink aesthetic, though I do appreciate the use of my favorite color). When I was struggling a lot during the first few months of the COVID-19 pandemic in more ways than I could count, this song really helped me through, these lyrics in particular. It gave me hope that I’d make it to the end of my senior year celebrating, which, thankfully, I did.

“Give Yourself A Try” - The 1975

Favorite Lyric: “Won’t you give yourself a try?”

While the lyrics of this song are a bit odd, frankly pessimistic, and hard for a teenager to relate to, its catchy, more optimistic chorus served as a mantra for me throughout my last few years of high school. If I couldn’t take a chance on myself, why would anyone else want to? This song’s refrain sparked a ton of self-love in me, and I spent many nights dancing around to it in my bedroom. Also, I couldn’t leave this band off of this list - I’ve been listening to them since their self-titled LPs came out when I was 10 years old, and the album that this song is off of, “A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships”, is one of my favorite records of all time.

“Garden Song” - Phoebe Bridgers

Favorite Lyric: “I don't know how, but I'm taller / It must be something in the water / Everything's growing in our garden...She told me my resentment's getting smaller / No, I'm not afraid of hard work / I get everything I want”

Much like A Will Away, Phoebe Bridgers is an artist that I had known of and had recommended to me for years, but I only really started listening to her as a senior in high school. “Kyoto” and “Would You Rather” are probably my favorites by her, but this song, along with “It’ll All Work Out”, helped me through feeling scared for the future and wondering how I grew up so quickly.

“Growing Up” - The Maine

Favorite Lyric: “We'll never lose what we had...Growing up won't bring us down / Graduate, what's a kid to do now? / Get away, yeah / We've got so much to prove / 'Cause it's time to move on / And I start to let go...We're in this together / Yeah, we'll make it somehow / Nothing's gonna stop us now”

Finally, to close it out, one more song by one of my favorite bands ever, and one of the bands that carried me throughout my senior year, as well as all of my high school years. I had to include this one - my graduation pictures were captioned “graduate, what’s a kid to do now?” At its core, this is a song about holding on to childlike energy and teenage memories despite growing up and moving on. Every time I listen to it (which has been a lot, lately), I’m reminded that I have the best friends in the world who have given me some of the happiest years of my life, and that doesn’t have to end just because we’re getting older. “Growing up won’t bring us down.”

For more songs like this, you can follow my Spotify playlist titled “senioritis” here. 

Congratulations to everyone who is celebrating this month, whatever you might be graduating from!

QUESTION OF THE DAY #12: What is your opinion on theatre bootlegs? Spill as much or as little tea as you want.

MY ANSWER: it would be incredibly hypocritical of me to say there’s nothing good about them. i discovered a couple of my all time favorite shows through bootlegs, and when i was a high school/college-aged theatre nerd stuck in the midwest (which i still am, just a bit older now), they brought me a lot of comfort that i could relive my favorite shows again. that said, i can understand POVs re: they weren’t filmed with consent from the actors. however, actors who are speaking out against them need to realize that mainstream theatre needs to be made more accessible in one way or another for poor, disabled, and international theatre fans. tldr: bootlegs aren’t going to go away if celebrities disavow them, but theatre might be able to become more accessible if more of them talk on THAT instead of how evil bootlegs are.

SUMMARY OF ANSWERS: out of 41 responses: 21 were an enthusiastic heck yeah, 13 weren’t as enthusiastic but still along the lines of yeah i support them, 3 answers were like eh i can see both sides i guess/leaning towards no, and 4 people outright said nah bootlegs are not the answer. All the answers under the cut!

if you wanna fight or agree with anyone, refer to the # and send in an ask or reply to this.  

also: while i agree with much of what was said under the cut, i will not come out and say which ones i agree with and what i don’t. my opinion is above and that’s all you need to know about what i think. i do not necessarily condone or agree with anything below. okay, enjoy reading.

1. Anonymous said: I may not be the biggest fan, but I totally get why they exist and have watched a few when they pop up

2.  Anonymous said: for the qotd: bootlegs are godsends

3. Anonymous said: oh god i literally just went on a tangent on twitter just now but bootlegs good!!!! people willingly watch blurry footage of a show bcs they want to know what the show is like, want to experience it live. bway shows arent accessable for everyone (due to prices and distance) but ppl still want to know what its like performed on stage. bootlegs literally dont harm the community. ive seen poto boots, proshots and the tour yet id willingly pay 2 watch again. boots make theatre more accessable imo !!

4. Anonymous said: Boots are good to get a glimpse of different productions? Like even despite Proshots existing of certain musicals, I'd still be curious regarding other interpretations of it! And also besides this it definitely helps make shows accessable to people who physically cannot watch the show!

5. galactic-greens said: I truly see no harm in bootlegs as long as they are treated respectfully. While the creation and consumption is technically a crime, it by no means whatsoever makes you a bad person. It's essentially documenting theatre, and ensuring generations to come will be able to experience what could have been so fleeting. They maintain a community, and as long as NFT dates, masters, and general spread of bootlegs are respected then there really can be no problem. It's just a way to immortalize the art!

6. Anonymous said: On bootlegs: oftentimes they’re the only way someone could be able to see a show, because not everyone can afford the tickets or even the cost to just go to New York for a show. However, it should be acknowledged that filming obviously in the actors’ faces is pretty rude, but at the same time bootlegs at least give a chance for people like me to see shows I might never get to see otherwise.

7. Anonymous said: I love bootlegs because I don’t have the means to be able to travel to see shows or afford tickets, i also do theater and i feel like the point of the art is to share it as much as I can

8. Anonymous said: i've never seen a large-scale live show bc they are not accessible to me. bootlegs are amazing. truly glorious.

9.  Anonymous said: i understand that this is a rather unique experience, but i live in nyc, so bootlegs never measure up to the real thing for me. i know that this isn't something everyone can be lucky enough to say, but live theatre could never be captured in the form of a bootleg-- i don't even like released proshots as much as the real thing

10. Anonymous said: for me bootlegs are fine for those who can't see it live because of the price and they are living from another country though i know there are a lot of actors disagrees about it

11. Anonymous said: as someone who can't afford to go to a professional production of anything, absolutely gimme a bootleg. obviously I wouold prefer, like, a proshot of a show and I really hope that becomes more of the norm (I watched the Newsies proshot on Disney+ and had the happy wiggles for hours afterwards, and I can't wait for the Hamilton one to come out) but until that starts happening I'll take a bootleg any day.

12. Anonymous said: I like that it helps people get into fandoms/musicals that they wouldn’t’ve otherwise but I would prefer if theatres professionally films them.

13. maycombhoney said: they will be a part of theatre culture until live theatre is made accessible for more people

14. Anonymous said: bootlegs are great and until the theater community decides to produce pro-shots i’m all for them

15. zoueriemandzijnopmars said: I would personally feel kinda bad for watching bootlegs, because it won’t directly bring money to the people who worked on the show. I don’t judge people who do watch bootlegs though, because let’s face it, bootlegs are not a replacement for actually going to the theatre and it’s not gonna lose the creators actually money. It might even make them money, because people will listen to the album/buy tickets anyway when they can. I’d just personally be more comfortable watching a proshot

16. Anonymous said: I don't pretend bootlegs aren't stealing but whatever harm they do is abstract enough - and my decisions are drop-in-the-bucket enough - that I do it anyway

17. Anonymous said: I’m totally fine with bootlegs. I’ve watched so many of them that it wouldn’t be fair if I wasn’t. The fact is most people just aren’t able to see shows. Either they live too far away or they can’t afford it, and if this is the only way someone can experience a show, it’s better than never seeing it at all

18. Anonymous said: i think bootlegs are important for accessibility but i really wish more theatres would release proshots. i wouldn't even mind if it were after the broadway run or after the original cast is switched out, but i think it's valuable to have those recordings out during the run of the show to get more people interested and actually wanting to go out and see it. plus, if they're worried about money, they wouldn't *have* to be free. just cheaper than tickets and travel.

19. Anonymous said: about the question of the day, honestly i think bootlegs are fine as long as they're done respectfully and the filmers aren't distracting with it

20. locke-writes said: For the question of the day: If there’s absolutely no way I can see the show live or from a professional recording then I’m going to watch a bootleg. Theater should be more accessible and sometimes a bootleg is my only way to access a show. Having been part of film crews who have shot live theater I think a lot of the lack of pro recordings is the idea which that theater is difficult to record. It isn’t. Give me a pro shot show over a bootleg anyday but I’ll take what I can get

21. Anonymous said: My opinion on bootlegs is I prefer professional recordings ONLY because bootleg quality is terrible for my auditory processing problems and I hate the washed out quality. But since professional recordings are rare (unless you are, interestingly enough, Sight & Sound Theatre); for everyone else: BRING ON THE BOOTLEG! ~ Stripe Conlon

22. Anonymous said: Bootlegs are complicated! As a fan/consumer I think they’re okay, especially considering how inaccessible theatre is for people living in other countries, people who can’t afford to experience shows live, and disabled folks. But as someone who also performs, i understand that it can be distracting and legally complicated for actors who are trying to do their best and did not consent to being filmed that night. I just hope that pro shots will become more common.

23. penguinated said: Bootlegs are fine. They don't cost Broadway a thing since people will literally never not pay to see live shows (except during covid of course). and for many people, seeing a certain show with a certain cast will NEVER be possible, so what's the harm in watching the bootleg? The bootlegs aren't the problem, it's the inaccessibility of live theater, ESPECIALLY Broadway shows. If more things were available to stream (i.e. BroadwayHD) there wouldn't be a need for bootlegs. Bootleg away, imo.

24. Anonymous said: until theatre is made accessible to everyone and there is a proshot released for every show, bootlegs are absolutely necessary for the prosperity of theatre

25. Anonymous said: It's so sad that people think bootlegs are necessary! and it's even sadder that in a way they are. however, too many people use them as an excuse to not pursue alternate affordable alternatives for theatre (such as broadway hd, pursuing local shows including high school and college theatre, and utilizing legally free shows online). In addition, bootlegs absolutely CAN be unethically sourced- recordings of locally produced shows can get theaters in trouble and bankrupt them with legal fees. and if you're recording something from Broadway (which is fine imo usually), if you're actually making people PAY for your illegal recording, that's profiting off the work of others and is both very unethical and exploiting the very people many bootleggers claim to work for the benefit of. When it comes to bootlegs, it's one thing to pass around shows that have finished their runs on Broadway for free- but there's too much unethical and even HARMFUL bootleg behavior and it needs to stop.

26. Anonymous said: since Broadway is too rich and doesn't wanna spend money(for some reason) streaming their shows, then bootlegs are the only option.

27. Anonymous said: Theater is so inaccessible that bootlegs are necessary for a lot of people because with a lot of shows you can’t get a good idea of the show just from the soundtrack but people that share nft boots are assholes

28. Anonymous said: Bootlegs do more good than harm. Those against bootlegs are elitist and don't understand some people cant afford hundreds of dollars in theatre and plane tickets. Bootlegs make people crave the live experience more, a dark and shaky video with shit audio doesn't satiate the desire to see a show live. And if the show is closed all the more reason to watch a bootleg!

29. lynntjeeee said: Theatre bootlegs are amazing and are why there are fans. I live in a country with no musical theater (except the occasional sucky original production with a local celeb who can't sing) so if it not for bootlegs I wouldn't be able to watch any shows and wouldn't be a fan (thus not spending money on cast recordings, etc). People need to realise this, bootlegs do not harm the theater, in fact it only helps it. If there were official recordings, there would be many more fans (and thus more profit!)

30. Anonymous said: Opinion on bootlegs: They wouldn't be necessary if the theater industry would get with the times and release professional shots of their shows on streaming services/cable.

31. Anonymous said: I think that people are really overreacting about bootlegs. ESPECIALLY bootlegs if shows that have already closed- you may never get a chance to see that show! Ever! Now there’s an affordable and accessible way to see shows that people would kill and die for. It isn’t losing Broadway money, in fact it is bringing more people into the medium. Maybe if full proshots were more common I would feel differently, but since there is literally no other way, boots are fine.

32. Anonymous said: Bootleg opinion: just go absolutely hog wild. Fuck it. Be gay do crime.

33. Anonymous said: Bootlegs are one of the few things that are keeping me sane right now, plus the fact that not everyone has dat cash money to see the shows live, so yeah they're good stuff (as long as they are available online w/ at least vaguely good sound quality anyway 😆)

34. Anonymous said: I see it both ways. I can understand why those in the profession are against it; it’s their hard work that’s getting pirated. But I’m also poor. I have no access to theatre outside of cast albums and bootlegs. I don’t watch bootlegs because I personally feel guilty, but I will not and do not judge others if they do.

35. whatdoscissorsdo said: I think broadway bootlegs r okay?? eat the rich amirite

36. Anonymous said: I trade and watch bootlegs and don't plan on stopping, but I've recently realized that it must be super uncomfortable for actors to be filmed without their knowledge or consent, or just to have to have on their minds that they might be being recorded at any time in a performance. Like, I've happily watched Many™ Spring Awakening videos in the past year, but I doubt Alexandra Socha is that thrilled knowing there are videos up on YouTube of featuring her nude at age nineteen.

37. i-am-having-an-emotion said: they will remain a necessary evil until theater is more accessible to the masses. seeing real live theater is always better than a boot but literally like 95% of people can’t access live theater, especially at a broadway caliber, so like..... do The Poors not *deserve* theater??? what are we supposed to do BUT make bootlegs?

38. ope-okay said: bootlegs are blessings from heaven and no one can convince me otherwise

39. Anonymous said: I think it can really hype up the want for the musical. And a really good boot release can bring new creations to an otherwise small fandom. Personally I’m more interested in seeing the musicals I’ve seen boots of than the musicals I haven’t

40. Anonymous said: On the topic of bootlegs, I think they’re great but like especially for people who do not have the means to go see the shows during their runs, I feel like if you do have the means to go see the show you should do that instead

41. Anonymous said: I have a REALLY hard time with bootlegs. Because artists deserve to be paid for their work, and there are a whole host of copywriter issues that come with the mass production of a show. In addition though, I understand the anger you feel at not getting to see a show live, however there are so many resources available to help people get the idea of their favorite show even if they never see it. Honestly Wikipedia is my favorite resource, as often that has a full synopsis of the show. I’ll read that and then listen to the recording a bunch so I can understand the story and imagine what it may look like. A lot of shows put clips on YouTube, the Macy’s parade, the Tony Awards, NBC does a whole broadway week, there are so many ways that you can get glimpses into these shows without resorting to bootlegs (which at this point are still illegal) I’m not a supporter of the “theater must be seen live” idea. While I LOVE live theater (and as a performer I like feeding off an audience) but I’ve see shows with just proshots or just the movie version and they are still just as good. Unfortunately I think the only way we’re are going to make theater more accessible to audiences is through time. Bootlegs I think only make people less inclined to record shows and mass produce them. There are a whole lot of legal things that go into that as well. What I can say is what I’ve done. Read up on the show, watch all the clips you can, sometimes scripts are posted online maybe read those, listen to the album, look at pictures. It SUCKS that theater is exclusive, but bootlegs are not the solution.

let me repeat: if you wanna fight or agree with anyone, refer to the # and send in an ask or reply to this post.

Matt’s statement:

“This is an incredibly difficult statement to write, but I have to announce that I am stepping down as the frontman of Evile and leaving the world of live music. I want to make sure I explain this decision fully and effectively, as fans of the band, especially the people who have followed Evile from the beginning, deserve so much more than just a slapped together, generic, easily press digestible ‘band member leaves band’ paragraph. Evile has been a very large part of my life, something I have given a huge amount of energy and time to, and this is a decision which I have agonised over for a long time as it’s something I care about deeply, but it’s a decision I have to make. So, please allow me to explain it as best I can. There are two main reasons for this decision, firstly there is family. Since starting Evile, I had very few commitments, allowing me to sink as much time as possible into the band, but in the past several years that has changed. I became a stepfather to two young girls around a very traumatic time for them, and very shortly after became a father to my own daughter. The time that I have had available to pursue music has been vastly cut down, and considering the future when live music becomes possible again, the demands of a touring band lifestyle are not as viable and realistic for me anymore, as my duties as a father to three children outweigh anything else. I don’t want to be away from my family for large amounts of time, and outside of my full time employment I don’t want to divide 50% effort and time to the band and 50% to my family as I feel like I would be giving each side half of the time they really deserve, and if I have to choose which one I want to give priority and 100% to, it is my family. I don’t want to go out as a frontman who is only half prepared, half practised and half ready, as Evile and its wonderful followers deserve better than that - and on the other side of that, I don’t want to be away from home for long periods of time and not be around to help my children grow up, they deserve better than that, and I don’t want to miss out on any part of their lives. The other reason is my health. I’ve always said that I would do Evile for as long as possible, either until I’m dead or until I can physically no longer manage performing on stage. I have come close to the former, but the latter is now where things are (when compared to the former, a relief). Over the past couple of years I have had a non-stop run of health problems, mostly chest related, including costochondritis, several chest infections, a spontaneous collapsed lung (which I stupidly thought was another chest infection) and then kidney stones and a few other health detours. This all relates to singing, which is something that is nowhere near a natural ability or talent of mine, it’s something that I have had to work incredibly hard on to get to where I managed, which let’s face it, isn’t exactly anywhere spectacular, I’m never going to end up on anybody’s favourite vocalist list (although there is one thing I’ll mention later). But, the amount of upkeep it takes to maintain what vocal range/power/lung capacity I have/had to a usable standard is ridiculous, and my annoying health issues make that obstacle ever harder to overcome, made even more difficult by my limited available time to do so, it comes down to me accepting that I can’t do everything and I certainly can’t do everything and stay healthy. A singing voice is a muscle and I always had the time to spend training it so I could keep it in a decent place for getting through a tour. Now, my health issues of late have destroyed what singing voice I had, and in the past several months of starting vocal training all over again, getting somewhere, getting ill, starting all over again, getting ill, starting all over again, and so on - I have come to realise that I just don’t enjoy singing anymore and I’ve had to be very harsh with myself to realise that truth. I was never the best frontman, or the best singer, and Evile deserve to have a frontman who can give 100% to that craft, and I am fully confident that person is out there and can help take them to that next level where I hope and believe they can go, nothing would make me happier than to see the band be a real success. For twenty years I have had the great pleasure of writing and performing music with my brother Ol, Ben, Mike, Joel and Piers in Evile. It has taken us to places I never imagined, locations I never thought I would get to visit, let alone go to these places to play music for people who were willing to hear it. I’m proud of the band’s achievements so far, touring with some incredible bands such as Megadeth, Exodus, Kreator, Overkill, Voivod, Sepultura, Three Inches of Blood, Entombed, Forbidden, Machine Head, Amon Amarth, Satyricon, Gama Bomb, Warbringer, Dr. Living Dead, Lightning Swords of Death, Sanctity, Mutant, Pitiful Reign, Seregon, Onslaught and more, then getting to see pretty much all of America, Canada and a vast majority of Europe, living in Copenhagen for a month recording a debut album with Flemming Rasmussen and using some of the same gear used to record Lightning/Puppets, recording three albums with Russ Russell, releasing four albums with Earache Records, having songs featured on Rock Band, having a song in a Neil Jordan film (Ondine), getting into the UK charts, having original album artwork created by Michael Whelan (did you know the band members are hidden on that cover?), being on the front cover of Terrorizer magazine, playing at some amazing festivals and meeting some incredible people from all walks of life. There are plenty more to mention, plus all the brilliant things I’m grateful to have seen, which I wouldn’t have if I wasn’t in the band, like a small ‘up close and personal’ acoustic Skunk Anansie set in the press tent at Sonisphere (Paranoid and Sunburnt is one of my desert island discs, I had the chance to chat to them after their set but completely bottled it and will forever regret it), but I want to mention just a couple of other things while I have chance to do so. I’m proud of my contributions to Evile’s music, whether it’s riffs or sections here and there, or entire songs (Burned Alive, Plague to End All Plagues, Long Live New Flesh, The Naked Sun) but i’m proudest of the lyrics and vocal lines I contributed, which is roughly half of Enter the Grave, most of Nations, most of Five Serpent’s Teeth (for those two records however, Ol and Russ deserve a lot of credit for guiding me through parts I intended to sing, telling me it was nonsense after I tried it, and helping me find the correct choices, that was invaluable in making the albums as good as they could be) and nearly all of Skull - which is where I want to point back to what I mentioned about singing earlier, as while I acknowledge it isn’t a natural ability and I’m not the strongest or even that impressive of a vocalist, I will always be glad that my performance of Tomb exists on that album, it was a hugely personal thing to perform and record and I’ll be forever proud that I got to do that and do it as well as I possibly could, that is my favourite album of the four I got to be part of. I also want to quickly mention that I’m proud of being connected to Jackson Guitars for so many years, it’s an honour to have been in their catalogue too, I’ve played Jacksons for as long as I’ve been playing guitar, so I would like to thank them for being so kind to me for the 14 years I’ve been associated with them. This is a lot to read, but I want to get all of this written down as I’m trying to process my twenty years of experiences and thoughts on so many things connected to playing music, into several paragraphs, there’s a lot I would love to say, but I’m not one to outstay my welcome. I want to finish with a couple of things, one of them being a big regret I will have about leaving the band, that I never got to play a show with Metallica, that was my biggest personal goal in playing live music, not fame or anything material, I just wanted to play a show with the band that changed my life. Even just meeting James Hetfield would have been enough for me, but I guess that’s one personal goal I’ll have to live with missing the chance on. More important than the personal things I’ve just written about though, is one of my main areas of pride, and that is Evile’s fans, I’ve always been so proud to be able to say that Evile has such wonderful and dedicated fans, it has been a pleasure to meet so many of you, to stand on a stage and play music for you, to see and hear you singing lyrics and vocal lines that I’ve written, to see all that headbanging madness, I will truly miss getting on a stage to play those songs, so I would like to say a real thank you to everyone who has spent time listening to these first four albums and come to shows to see us play live while I got the chance to do it, I will miss your headbanging and energy like you wouldn’t believe, but I will never forget it. Lastly, and very importantly, I want to mention Mike. A person I wouldn’t have known if it wasn’t for being part of this band, one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met, a true heavy metal soul and a gentleman. This is one of the biggest things I’ve struggled with in my decision, I’m so sorry to him, that I can’t do my bit in continuing his legacy as a part it anymore. It breaks my heart to leave something that he was such a big part of, and that I was a part of with him, something that he was doing when we lost him. My hope is that, as a father himself, he would understand the decision I’m making. I’m taking all of my memories of Mike with me, and every year will always have a glass ready to raise on the day he entered this world, and on the day he left it. Thank you to everyone for reading this, hopefully I’ve written it well enough so you understand my reasoning. Please continue to support Evile as much as you ever have done, I wish the band all the success possible on their future journey, it’s been twenty years of extreme highs and lows, and everything in-between, I’m proud to be able to say I was part of it and I’ll be following where it goes from here with great interest, as a lifelong fan. My intention is to still play the Enter the Grave/Mike Alexander tribute show, whenever that may happen, as it would mean a tremendous amount to me to be able to pay tribute to Mike in a proper way, by playing the album he contributed the most to. But as of now, I am no longer part of the band. Please can I ask that people do not message me directly, I won’t be able to respond. Instead, please leave a comment below if you wish to say anything, positive or negative. The only thing I ask with that, is that you please remain respectful, whatever you want to say, good or bad, as the world has enough problems at the moment, and one of the things it needs is for people to think about what they say and care about how they say it. Thank you all again for your time in reading this, and thank you all for your time and energy given to Evile while I’ve been part of it. For the penultimate time (the last time will be the Enter the Grave/Mike show)... I salute you all.”

190622 CanCam - Member Interview

Raws by @takejun20522_ at Twitter

RM

“I get really nervous on large stages, but the feeling of “I have to do it” makes me that much stronger.”

When it comes to memories of America, it has to be the BBMAs. It was our first live performance with Halsey, so it really left an impression on me. I also met Drake, who I’ve always admired, and he said “You guys are the most famous in America right now”. I found it funny to have the person who I consider to be the best in America say that to us.

Being on an incredibly big stage makes me nervous, but when we’re in America my feelings of “I have to do this” grow even stronger to make up for the members. It can’t be helped, since the others can’t say that much. I think I’m cooler than usual when I’m in America. (laughs)

Speaking of cool, personally I find JK to be really cool recently. He’s pretty much always working out. I haven’t been able to exercise much lately, but JK is always building his muscles. There’s something mesmerising about his body, even from a man’s perspective. (laughs)

The other thing that left an impression in America was the second concert in LA, when I looked at the audience during the encore. There’s a performance where they illuminate us with their phone flashlights, and it was just so beautiful. The Japanese original song “Lights” this time is exactly that. In a dark space or dark time, look at that light and keep walking. In a way, it’s the light that ARMY have shown us, and also ARMY themselves… I made the song with those kinds of feelings. That’s why, when I close my eyes now, what comes to mind is… Huh? It’s V. Because I saw him sleeping over there just now. (laughs)

Q. Was your legendary Rose Bowl comment an adlib?

I prepared a comment for the encore, but the audience’s lights were so pretty they blew it all away. It was so beautiful, some words about the galaxy just came out.

Q. What’s your recommended point of the new song?

Boy with Luv’s dance that looks like hitchhiking. I want to try it for real, but I don’t think anyone would stop for me because I’m scary. (laughs)

Q. How do you refresh yourself lately?

I like looking at art. In terms of Japan, I like Senju Hiroshi’s “Taki”. I’ve heard Senju-sensei has an art gallery, so I’d like to visit one day.

Q. Do you have any plans to write a book in the future?

It was my dream to be an author when I was in primary school. But after meeting music and having my dreams fulfilled as BTS right now, I’d like to continue working hard with BTS. (laughs) Once I’m 40-50 years old, it’d be nice to write novels and essays.

JIN

“Even in the smallest moments of our daily lives, we show consideration for each other. That’s part of what makes us BTS.”

I’m the eldest of our team, but I’m the type to approach others with no regard for age hierarchies. I’ve never really been overly conscious about those things, but recently I’ve started to believe that “the culture of changing attitudes or the way you treat others based on an older or younger age isn’t good”, and it also makes the relationship seem lifeless. The fact that not only me, but the other members also think this way is part of what makes BTS BTS. Showing consideration for each other over everything, no matter how small, can be felt in the smallest moments of our daily lives. If there’s something that another member wouldn’t like, another member would speak up and say “You should probably stop that” first.

Apart from that, the members charms that only I know… I think ARMY would know better than me. Since I’m not watching the others that closely… (laughs) Ah, but it’s funny if you pay attention to RM during the American interviews. He’s fluent in English and leads the interviews with his answers, but he also makes sure to direct some questions to us. Whenever he does that, he makes sure to give us the chance to answer with one or two easy words instead of a difficult sentence, so that we’re able to answer them too. Like how RM excels in language, and the others excel in dance and singing… Our team’s strength is in how we each have our own speciality, which I think is very cool.

Q. What’s a “small happiness” you felt yesterday or today?

I’ve been into the TV show “Walking Dead” recently. There was a character I didn’t really like that I would have preferred to be gone. Then a zombie solved the issue for me. (laughs)

Q. What do you see when you close your eyes right now?

(While closing eyes) A zombie. (laughs) They keep appearing when I close my eyes.

Q. What’s something cute about the members?

When they meet celebrities they’ve always wanted to meet at Billboard, they get really happy.

Q. What choreography do you like from BTS songs?

The part where we hit the table in Dionysus.

Q. How do you refresh yourself lately?

…Zombies. (laughs) I’ve only talked about zombies today, is that okay?!

JUNGKOOK

“Personally I wish I had a single talent that I excelled in”

There’s a lyric in the new song “Lights” that goes like “Nobody’s perfect”. I really love this part. It’s like I’m being consoled that it’s fine not to be perfect. People often praise me saying that my dance and singing is perfect, but that’s not true at all. I wish I had a single talent that I excelled in. I’ve tried many things in search of that, but right now I’m focusing on doing my best in the things I need to do. While doing that, listening to this song makes me realise I don’t have to be perfect, which is comforting. Ah, I don’t have anything I’m particularly good at, but there is something that I’m bad at. Using my head! I’m really bad at that. (laughs) Speaking of new songs, Boy with Luv is also a really good song. After all, its choreography is rather simple out of all of BTS’ songs. That’s a happy point for me. (laughs)

It’s really difficult to completely recover your stamina while standing on the stage. Even I unconsciously try to squeeze out the last of my energy as the concert nears its end. There have been times where I’ve been unable to move from muscle pain the day after a concert. That’s why right now my top priority is to not get hurt. I want to be able to build myself up and manage my body more… Huh, what part of myself am I most confident in? Ah… (shy smile) Hmm, I wonder. I don’t know myself. I’ll do my best to build my body up more!

Q. What’s your honest opinion of the current world tour?

There’s a song called Mikrokosmos on our album, but it’s like seeing that for real. It’s so inspiring and makes my heart burn sharply. I really think of it as a happy moment to me.

Q. What do you see when you close your eyes right now?

Lots of things come to mind, but none are very clear. They’re all a vague blur… Like I can nearly see it, but can’t. (laughs)

Q. What part of the members do you think is adorable?

Jimin. You can tell he really loves the stage from the bottom of his heart. We really understand each other in that way.

Q. What’s a method of relaxing that you’re into?

Recently I went to Ariana Grande’s concert and had a lot of fun. I was encouraged as an artist and I was able to enjoy the music a lot, so it was great.

Q. What are the conditions for you to think that someone is wonderful?

Someone who has a lot to teach others, someone I can understand. And someone who is cool!

SUGA

“The nerves at Billboard, the choreography of a new song. I always enjoy doing new things.”

We barely have the chance to do these sorts of interviews anymore, so being able to send our words to the readers and ARMY like this makes me happy.

When we make original songs in Japanese, we take a lot of things into consideration when creating it. What I noticed in doing that is that there’s a certain sensitivity that can be found only in the original Japanese songs. Like with the song’s melody and style, the lyrics are just as sensitive. With all the emotional parts, I think the new song “Lights” has especially brought out those emotions well.

I’d also like you to pay attention to the choreography of Boy with Luv! There’s something new about it compared to our style until now. I always enjoy doing new things. Even at Billboard, that feeling of elation seeing our group name during the Top Duo/Group award. The feeling of tension entering the Rose Bowl like we’re participating in the finals of the World Cup... They’re all memories I’ll have forever, and it was all so much fun.

When I want to switch over from that exciting space and relax, I often listen to lo-fi hip-hop. It’s mentally comforting. My favourite is Nujabes. I’ve always liked him in the past, but I’ve been listening to him more again lately. As for recent changes, I’ve gotten into a game. I wasn’t a person who played games, but now I’m really into a certain game. As long as I have the chance, I’ll be playing it. I’m the type to continuously do something once I become obsessed with it—and not only with music. Everyone says I’ve become more talkative since I started playing games? That’s not true. They just feel that way because we’re together 24 hours a day, surely. (laughs)

Q. What’s a small happiness you felt yesterday/today?

Yesterday… I didn’t do anything… The time I spent lying in the hotel bed was my happiness. (laughs)

Q. What comes to mind when you close your eyes right now?

(Closes eyes) The feeling of being in the stadium and looking at roughly 70,000 people in the audience from the stage. It was really like looking at a galaxy of stars.

Q. Did you buy anything during this American tour?

Every time I come to America I buy another piece of music equipment. This time I bought a mic.

Q. What’s your recommended song for when you feel down?

Dionysus. It’s Latin, so it energises you.

Q. What kind of person do you think is “wonderful”?

Someone who can do their job well. No matter their employment or gender, people who do things properly are cool.

V

“ARMY’s cheers are my reward. It feels like everything paid off!”

We’re right in the middle of our world tour right now, but I really felt that the fans are a huge source of energy to us once more. Every time we have a concert and so many people send us their cheers, it feels like I’ve been rewarded for all my efforts until now. The scenery at America’s Rose Bowl was truly beautiful. When I saw that picturesque scenery, it felt like everything had paid off. At the same time, because every member individually stands out, the whole group can stand out. I really thought everyone looked so cool.

In the free time during our tour, I’ve been into visiting art galleries and finding new works of art. Recently I’ve really been liking the works of Fernando Botero and Edward Hopper. Of course there’s a charm with famous works, but there are lots of less famous works that are just as lovely. That’s why I’ve been having a lot of fun recently looking for works that aren’t really well known by other people but shine in my eyes when I look at them. As for other ways to relax… I feel happy when I look at clothes and furniture that I like. I can understand why clothes, but I’m not sure why I feel calm when I look at nice furniture. (laughs) Speaking of clothes, I splurged on a brand I love the other day! I bought a dress shirt and jacket and knitwear and T-shirts, and that made me really happy. As for other things I got excited about recently, the Korean catering just now was really good. I never imagined I’d be able to eat that in America, so I was really happy. <3

Q. What do you see when you close your eyes?

Birds. I don’t know if they’re beautiful or not, but they’re flying in a flock. (laughs)

Q. V seems to have a lot of friends, what are some tricks to making friends?

If I think someone matches me in personality, I’ll approach them as myself and talk to them. When I think we think the same way, I’ll often get closer to them myself.

Q. Which BTS song would you recommend to cheer someone up?

Mikrokosmos. I listen to this song a lot myself recently.

Q. What makes you think someone is wonderful?

Someone who has a clear mind and can express themselves clearly. Someone who makes you think “I want to follow this person” just by hearing them talk. Don’t you think that’s wonderful too? Someone exactly like RM.

J-HOPE

“I don’t need to worry about the other members when we’re on the stage anymore.”

The members have been together for such a long time, we understand each other as easily as breathing when we’re on the stage. After spending over 7-8 years with each other, we can tell what each other is thinking just by meeting eyes. Because we all know what our role is and what we need to do, we don’t need to worry as much about what the others are doing on the stage anymore--in a good way. But in our hearts, we’re constantly making sure no one gets hurt or sick. Since every member is a precious, irreplaceable piece of a whole.

In order to make the stage a better place, I personally endeavor in image training. I’m always thinking about how I can make the same concert contents into something fresh every time. As for things I do for my own sake... let’s see. Lately, I've been drinking onion juice (玉ねぎ汁) every morning. I also take a variety of healthy things, like herbal medicine and vitamins. (laughs) I believe that a healthy heart is not only connected to food and drink, but also to maintaining a clean state of mind. When I’m in a good mood, I think I naturally feel better, and smiling more also leads to having a better condition. The secret to my smiling face? Thank you for the praise! (laughs) This is how I am every day! When I live every moment in gratitude, I naturally end up expressing my feelings on my face. Even in this moment, when I think about how we’re appearing on the front cover of CanCam, I end up smiling out of gratitude.

Q. What was a small happiness you felt yesterday or today?

It really is a small thing, but breathing the air here in LA. Being able to work outside in locations like this both yesterday and today and feel the atmosphere of the area makes me happy.

Q. What comes to mind when you close your eyes right now?

I wonder what... “If only I could fall asleep like this”, I guess? I’m a little sleepy right now. (laughs)

Q. What part do you like from the new song?

I love my part in “Lights”. Though I’m sure everyone loves their own part! (laughs)

Q. What makes you think someone is wonderful?

Someone who does their work properly, a person who can clearly tell the difference between public and private, someone with high professional sense. And someone who smiles a lot! Yes, I’m talking about me! (laughs)

Q. What made your heart skip a beat recently?

When I bought something I liked. I did a lot of shopping in LA... like art and things.

JIMIN

“Seeing all the members’ sincere selves made me want to change too.”

I’ve been with the members every day for 8 years, so I really can’t find anything unexpected about them. Despite that, during the current world tour I felt once again that each and every member treats their job with a sincere sense of responsibility. In the rehearsal the day before the concert, each member checks every detail of their solo songs so it takes roughly 13 hours. It made me realise how much they treasured the stage. Even being beside them made me think about many things.

Since coming to America, I’ve started sleeping and waking up early. I’ve started to get up early and listen to songs, open my computer and click around with my mouse. (laughs) The fact I can wake up by myself instead of having a manager wake me up for the first time in a while makes me want to be praised. (laughs)

What I look for in a wonderful person? Let’s see, I’ve made a new friend recently, but when I see that person I think “How wonderful”. They’re responsible and treasure what they’re doing with gratitude. I think attitudes like that are cool. Also, people who know what makes them happy are cool too. A recent moment where I’ve felt gratitude and happiness is when we sang Mikrokosmos at the stadium. The audience all held their lights and illuminated us. That situation and the lyrics really resonated within my chest. By the way, the lyric was “It might even be that the expression of this night is again so beautiful” [lyric credit: wisha]. They’re the words that RM wrote for me. (laugh)

Q. What’s a small happiness you felt yesterday or today?

The scenery here (the studio of a house in LA) is very pretty, so just looking outside makes me happy.

Q. What moment comes to mind when you close your eyes?

(With eyes closed) Hmm... I haven’t eaten yet today. So I’m thinking of going to eat after this.

Q. What song do you recommend for when you’re feeling down?

Boy with Luv and Jamais Vu. Jamais Vu is a song between J-Hope, Jin, and Jungkook. It’s healing to me too.

Q. What made your heart skip a beat recently?

The biggest moment was when we received an award at Billboard! Also, my heart beats faster when I look at Cancam. (laughs)

Q. Is there anything you fuss over with hair care?

I’ve been struggling with hair care lately, so my hair’s getting shorter even if I don’t cut it. I wanted to be a little kinder to my hair, so I’m making it black for a while.

Bon Iver: A Retrospective

I think it’s fair to say that, after 10 Years, 4 albums, and 1 EP, Justin Vernon of Bon Iver has established a formula.  Not in the traditional sense, bands like Fleetwood Mac or Maroon 5 are well known for having formulas, but in the sense that his music tends to be about the same thing.  Whether the stripped back, wintery beauty of For Emma, Forever Ago, or the electronic chaos of 22, A Million, Vernon trains his lyrical camera entirely on himself.  Emma is about his failings as a lover, Blood Bank is about recalling the good times, Self Titled is about his past as viewed through age and significant dates. 22 is about his longing to grow past his current place, and his latest album, 2019’s i,i, is about finally coming home.

We begin our tour with For Emma, Forever Ago, the demo tape that was so good it was pretty much released as is.  The story behind Bon Iver’s debut is so poetic, it is told over and over again in the band’s mythology.  After a particularly difficult run of Irish luck in which his former band, DeYarmond Edison, broke up, his girlfriend left him, and he contracted a one two punch of pneumonia and mono, he sequestered himself in a cabin in Eau Claire, Wisconsin, and wrote and recorded For Emma over the course of one very intense winter.  He submitted the demo tape to the indie album Jagjaguar, where it was immediately accepted and sent to print with very minor revisions to add extra instrumentation and clean up the mix.  The album opens with the beautifully atmospheric Flume, a bare guitar emphasized by snowy static and Vernon’s clear, bell like voice.  “I am my mother’s only one”, he mournfully cries, “It’s enough.”  The main idea contained throughout the album is loneliness, and the album’s mix as well as its lyrics go a long way to establishing this theme.  The two standout tracks for establishing this mood the most potently are the third track, Skinny Love, where Vernon laments a love that simply is not going to plan, and the album closer, Re:Stacks, a mournful ballad about being unable to move forward despite being already packed.  It’s no surprise that this track would end pretty much every early Bon Iver show.  This is not to say that the album is entirely without lushness; the side 1 closer The Wolves Pt II is a textbook example of how to build a crescendo in a folk song, showing off Vernon’s aptitude for mood that would become fully fleshed out in later releases.  In retrospect, For Emma is an incredibly strong debut and an album that works well as a thesis for the later parts of the band’s career.

Following the relatively minor release Blood Bank, a 4 track EP that is only notable for the song Woods, a track built entirely out of acapella autotuned vocals and a track that gained the notice of Kanye West, Vernon and his entourage recorded and released Bon Iver’s self titled album in 2011.  This album marked a sea change in the way that Vernon approached the project.  As opposed to the quiet, stripped back sound of For Emma, the self titled album is lush, full sounding, and packed with swelling crescendos and massive climaxes, as if Sigur Ros decided to make folk music.  Tracks such as the beautiful, soaring Perth and the subtle, yet beautiful Michican’t do a great job at providing a lush, pillowy bed of sound that you can just lie in.  However, the true standout of the album is the closing track, Beth Rest, which adds a new toolkit to the Bon Iver sound; electronics.  Granted, these are 1980s power electronics, but they are electronics none the less.  Vernon also goes one step further and blankets his voice in copius amounts of autotune.  The result is something beautiful, yet distant.  As Vernon puts it, “It is the sound of doing something you want to do with absolutely no restraint.”  Bon Iver would go on to be Justin Vernon’s first true success with the group, earning him critical accolades and a truly wide audience, which resulted in him being nominated for, and subsequently winning, the best new artist grammy award in 2011.  Personally, I feel that Bon Iver is the moment when the group truly found its sound, grandiosity and beauty, but filtered through reality and experience.

After the wild success that the self titled album brought him, Vernon put the project on indefienate hold.  He stated that he wanted to decompress for a while and for that to happen, Bon Iver had to take a break.  He didn’t know when, or if, the project would return, and many fans feared the breakup of the band.  During this time, he would only release an itunes session of material from the self titled albums, but no new songs were released.  During this time, he would help Kanye West record two albums, and would work on several side projects.  Bon Iver returned in 2016 with 22, A Million, by far the projects’ most ambitious output and it’s most musically dense.  In a strange move for a folk act, the album contains almost no acoustic instruments.  The album is as lush and beautiful as the self titled album that made the project famous, but takes that lushness in a different, icier direction.  Songs like “22 (OVER S∞∞N)" and, "10 d E A T h b R E a s T ⚄ ⚄" reveal a sharper, more electronic form of songwriting.  Comparisons to Everything in it’s Right Place and The National Anthem off of Radiohead’s Kid A are only too easy to make.  However, this is not to say that all feeling has been drained from the record; tracks such as 29 Stafford Appts. and 8 (Circle) are only too happy to indulge in the previous beauty of earlier releases, with saxophone arrangements by Sad Sax of Shit soaring above Vernon’s autotuned vocals.  22, A Million is a mixed bag of an album.  Certain tracks such as the aforementioned 10, are too dense and difficult for me to truly enjoy, but the album makes a brilliant case for the new direction of the band.  I was left disappointed, but excited to see where the group would go next.

Thankfully for fans who embraced this new direction, Vernon was much quicker on the draw for his next album.  In 2019, when Bon Iver released their fourth album I,i, which feels, for all intents and purposes, like a refinement of what Vernon tried on 22, A Million.  Tracks such as iMi and Holyfields feel like a softer, easier listen than most of the material on 22, A Million. The instrumentation feels more controlled, tighter written than what we saw on his previous efforts.  There is little that sounds accidental, especially when compared to For Emma, which is an album nearly full of accident.  However, this precision does not mean that Vernon sacrifices any of his songwriting beauty.  Hey, ma, and U (man like) is one of the best one two punches in modern folk.  Hey, ma is a lush, dense electronic song about forgetting your roots.  “Tall time to talk your money up while it’s living in a coal mine” chastises Vernon, speaking to someone whose dreams are, perhaps, too big for their small pocketbook.  U (man like) is about improving yourself through constant work and effort. I,i feels like a fitting bookend to Bon Iver’s current discography.  It is Vernon’s most carefully crafted album but also one of his most obviously personal.  There is little that you cannot feel as Vernon does on this album.

There is this idea in music criticism called the best new artist’s curse. The idea is that the best new artist’s Grammy award for any particular year usually goes to flash in the pan artists who end up not contributing anything and flaming out after one album.  Of course, there are exceptions to this rule, but for every Beatles and Mariah Carey, there is at least five Starlight Vocal Bands.  It is my personal belief that the indie music scene is better for Justin Vernon not being one of these artsits.  Bon Iver has accomplished much over it’s decade long existance, and Vernon has established himself as one of the premiere artists of indie folk.  Not a flash in the pan, but one of the most brilliant songwriters of our generation.

Hiii! I recently just fell in love with Queen and I think they are absolutely amazing and I love how hilarious and adorable they all are with each other. I just have one question: I can never find anything really where Brian and Deaky are being cute and talking about each other. Is there some animosity there? Just wondering. Thanks!

Oh wow this a GREAT ask. I actually feel quite honored that you came to ask me about this!

First of all, hi!! Welcome to the Royal Family!! Always great to have new Queenies on board.

So, the short answer to this is, yes. There was a bit. But allow me to elaborate.

I think from the beginning, John and Brian were never as close with each other as they were with Freddie or Roger. John was introduced to Roger and Brian at a club through a mutual friend, and John and Roger hit it off right away. They shared a lot of the same interests; cars, music, science fiction, movies. They are also the youngest, so they were immediately buddies. Once John joined Queen, Freddie felt the need to sort of be John's "band mom", for lack of a better term. John was always incredibly shy around new people and crowds, so Freddie sort of became John's voice, and tried to kind of protect him from some of the crazier aspects of the rock 'n' roll lifestyle. Now, although they got along and worked fine together professionally, and respected each other as musicians, I don't think Brian and John quite had that close of a connection.

However, when John found those old radio parts and built his home made amp in 1972, he brought it to Brian and immediately Brian started experimenting with it and various other equipment. The Deacy Amp was responsible for a lot of the layering and tone and such that became an integral part of Queen's sound. Take a listen, for example, to Brian's song "Good Company". He was able to create the illusion of a string ensemble by layering the Red Special through the Deacy Amp. There's a great article on it here. Brian still has and uses the original Deacy Amp.

As time went on, John started to become more involved in the decision making and songwriting processes. He started joining arguments. He became more confident in himself and his place in the band. With that comes more friction between these four very strong personalities. It's important to understand that the four members of Queen had vastly different songwriting styles and musical tastes. Roger is a very punk rock style drummer. Brian, for the most part, has that sound that leans from prog rock into metal, with his occasional foray into folk style. John is a funk master. He was all about funk, Motown, and disco. One of his favorite groups was Cream. Freddie loved his fantasy songs, and was very into pulling classical piano and opera sound into his songs.

The point where this all comes to a head is on their 1982 album Hot Space. You can look up critical reviews of this album, most of them will say that it was very "self indulgent" of Queen, and it strayed very far from their "usual sound" (which is saying a lot for a band whose sound had already been all over the place. For the love of cheese, their biggest album to date was called A Night At The Opera, which spanned from music hall to folk songs to seaside ditties to love ballads. I digress.) Now I've heard lots of different takes on this. Apparently the recording of Hot Space was a tense time, but it was all around a bad time in Brian's life in general, for personal and professional reasons. He and Roger were fairly opposed to the idea of a disco album. The Game had already featured a lot of funk style, and they'd broken their one rule and used synthesizers. Roger and Brian wanted to return more to their prog rock roots. Freddie and John, however, were really pushing for more exploration into these styles and genres. They wanted to move with the times. It's been said that at some point in all of this, John and Brian came to a head and had the worst fight they'd ever had. This, supposedly, was the birth of "Back Chat". I don't know that it's been confirmed, but listening to it, it's really difficult to think that Deacy wrote it about anybody but Brian and their difficulties, especially with the line, "You stand so tall, you don't frighten me at all". The song just screams frustration. It's also said that they argued about whether Brian should put a guitar solo in it (Deacy apparently didn't want one).

However, they seem to have pulled through this just fine. They went on tour shortly after the album was released, and "Staying Power", which is the first track on Hot Space, became really popular during that tour. Brian can now, it seems, look back on it with no ill will.

During recording for The Works and A Kind of Magic, and their subsequent tours, for the most part, they seemed to be back to the professional rapport they'd had before. Roger and John did a lot of the public appearances and gave interviews. Freddie, I believe, was working a lot on his solo work. Brian was dealing with the dissolution of his marriage (but that's a whole other can of worms.) But Queen as a whole was back in tip-top shape. There are even a few shared moments on stage between John and Brian. One in particular I can think of is them teaming up to harass Freddie a little at one show when he made them wait to start the next song so could get his water.

During Freddie's final years, and the making of The Miracle and Innuendo, they all seemed to really pull together after taking a small hiatus from working together. Those two albums were on a much higher level than most of the work they'd done in the 80's. They were back in the swing of things. John was even more confident snd more willing to give interviews.

Brian, as well as Freddie's long term partner Jim Hutton, said that John wasn't around all that much toward the end, as Freddie's illness was really quite difficult for him to deal with. And, supposedly, when finishing Made In Heaven, there was a bit more tension as they all argued over how to finish this album without their voice of reason. But when you've just lost your best friend to an illness that no one seems to even want to understand, you're bound to lash out even at those closest to you.

Now, Brian speaks about John with nothing but respect, appreciation and admiration. He always, I believe, had that respect and awe for Deacy as a bassist and musician. He talks often of how lyrical and melodic John was on bass, and how much of a powerhouse he and Rog were as a rhythm section. He has spoken of how John is still a part of the business side of Queen, and how he always informs John of what they are doing. He doesn't always get an answer about things, but he keeps John in the loop. And there's also a tweet floating around out there where he said that John's songs are still good!!

So in conclusion, yes, there was some tension, but not any more than there was in the rest of the band (there are some.stories there, too. They fought so hard some times they'd start throwing things), but I think the reason we don't see as much interaction between Brian and John is simply because, while they were friends and bandmates, they didn't have the same close relationship with each other as they did with Freddie or Roger, which is neither good nor bad. It just is. They still spent 20 years as half of an absolute musical power group, were able to create amazing music together and spend so much time in close quarters without killing each other or walking away from the band.

Also, have this. I think it's cute.

(Oh god I'm sorry this got so long. Also if anyone would like to add/correct any of this, please feel free. I am definitely NOT the last authority on this!)

200930 SuperM On Album Super One's Message, Friendship & Their Group Halloween Costume

What happens when you put together an Avengers-style K-pop group, featuring the top talent from some of South Korea's biggest boy bands, and unite their individual bands' fan bases? The boys of SuperM—Mark (from NCT and NCT 127), Kai (from EXO), Ten (from WayV and NCT), Lucas (from WayV and NCT), Taemin (from SHINee), Taeyong (from NCT and NCT 127), and Baekhyun (from EXO)—started that journey a year ago and made history.

With their first, self-titled EP, SuperM became the first debut K-pop act to reach #1 on the Billboard 200 albums chart. Nearly a year later, their first full-length album Super One is newly released—and very much influenced by the ongoing coronavirus pandemic, which has stalled most musicians' plans for touring and performing for fans. Songs like "Together at Home" poignantly touch on it, with lyrics focused on finding the silver lining and embracing little pleasures.

Taemin tells ELLE.com that the boys want Super One to bring joy to their fans, and a sense of unity as the world goes through this period of quarantining and social distancing. "We want our fans to know that despite the distance, we are together in spirit," he says. "We created this album wanting to give back to our fans who give us unconditional love and support. Hopefully through our music, they can feel the positive energy and find happiness and hope to help get through this difficult time together."

Below, the boys discuss the album with ELLE, along with insights into how their friendship changed during their first year as a group, their experiences quarantining, and what their group Halloween costume has to be.

How has it felt to watch K-pop, C-pop, and J-pop take off in the West over the past couple years, and be part of that moment?

Taemin: As a K-pop artist, I am very proud. From performing in Paris and L.A. for the first time to having fans recognize me when we were taking photos along Abbey Road in London, these moments don’t seem that long ago, but it’s amazing to see how quickly K-pop has become popular around the globe. I am proud to have been a part of this movement and I’ll continue to work hard to help take K-pop to greater heights.

Last October, you made history as the first debut Korean act to hit #1 on the Billboard 200 with your SuperM EP. How did it feel taking that in? As a group, what is your dream to accomplish in the U.S. music scene?

Baekhyun: To have our first debut album hit number one on the chart was an incredible honor and the happiest, unexpected surprise. This is all because of our fans and I am so grateful for all the love and support they have and continue to give us. This just made me want to work harder to create a better album and provide more amazing content that brings joy to the fans. As for my goal in the U.S. music scene, when everything gets better, it’d be a dream come true to perform during the Super Bowl Halftime Show!

You’ve all known each other for years before working together. What were your first impressions of each other?

Mark: Before coming together as SuperM, I always looked up to them as role models. It was a cool feeling to see them all when we first had our meeting. I was thrilled and really looking forward to being on a team with them. And so, getting close to them as a brother and as a person was a good transition from just knowing them as senior artists. They all have their own brother-like personalities and I’m really happy to be able to see that side of them and have them accept me as a brother too.

Kai told Billboard last October that there was "nothing new to learn" about each other since you’ve all been friends for years. But what has working together as a group on this album taught you musically?

Taeyong: All the members are great artists and performers—each with their own unique, individual charm. Put them together and you get this amazing synergy onstage that’s been fun to show our fans. There are so many lessons I’ve learned from being part of SuperM but I would have to say the older members’ leadership and their ability to empathize with others inspired me to become a better leader for NCT 127. They really listen to what you have to say and always give great advice so I try to be the same for NCT 127 and help bring out the best in each member. I still have a lot to learn but I’m always trying to improve and working with SuperM encourages me to do so.

Ten: I learned so much from all the members while working on this album. They give the best advice, especially the senior members. Taemin gave me great tips on how to better express myself on stage and Baekhyun helped me a lot with my vocals. Outside of work, we can have deep conversations about anything. We all began our career at a young age so they really understand what I’m going through and how I feel. I can always count on them when I need someone to talk to.

How has being bandmates changed your friendships over the last year?

Kai: In the beginning, because we mostly knew each other as juniors/seniors within the industry and label, it was slightly awkward. But once we started to get to know each other, we were all able to connect with each other within the older/younger brother dynamic, so now they really feel like brothers to me. And I want to keep it that way going forward.

What has been your favorite moment from your first year together?

Baekhyun: One of my favorite moments would have to be when we filmed the reality show together. It was fun to do “regular” things together like cooking, playing games, and doing challenges. Everyone has a great sense of humor so we laughed the entire time. It was a great opportunity for us to bond and we had a blast.

Kai: I’d have to say when we were touring around the world together—and more recently, when we got to shoot our own reality TV show. Each of those moments brought us much closer together.

Taemin: When we made our debut as SuperM, and held our very first showcase at Capitol Records. I remember thinking, "This is another new beginning for me" and it brought back old memories of when I auditioned for SM and debuted as SHINee. It felt like another new path was created for me and I remember feeling all kinds of emotions throughout the day.

Taeyong: If you think about it, a year is not that long, but we made so many memories together and I think that’s because we are all positive-minded people. In the past year, we spent almost half a year on a world tour and the other half practicing and preparing for our album. I’ve grown a lot both on a professional and personal level so I cherish every single moment!

Mark: I think it would have to be our debut showcase in L.A. at the Capitol Records Tower. We were nervous but it felt good that we were all nervous together. Sharing the same emotions with the members is a good feeling because you know we’re all in it together.

Ten: When we went on our world tour. Experiencing different cultures and meeting our fans worldwide was unforgettable. Also, we all got very close during the tour from being together 24/7. Because we come from different groups, this was our first time doing a tour together so we were able to really bond.

Lucas: Our first performance of "Jopping" in L.A. It was a great feeling to finally be able to show the world what we’ve been working really hard on. The audience’s energy, the city, and the overall vibe that day was incredible. I’ll never forget it.

What song on Super One are you most proud of and why?

Taeyong: I am most proud of "Together at Home." It’s a little more special to me because I wrote some of the lyrics for the song. I put a lot of thought into the messaging and wanted to say that even though we are not physically together, we can find new ways to be there for each other. With what’s going on right now, I feel like fans can relate to the message and find comfort knowing that no matter what, we’ll always find a way to reach them. It’s a feel-good song that anyone can hum along to.

Lucas: I choose "Infinity." You can really feel our energy and our ambition "to go to infinity." Our title song, "One," is a hybrid remix that combines "Infinity" and "Monster" so it’s fun to hear the two tracks on their own and then hear "One" which has a completely different vibe. Each has its own charm.

Mark, you helped write "100" and Taeyong and Mark, you worked together to write "Together at Home." What do those songs mean to you? How has your songwriting evolved as you’ve worked on more music?

Taeyong: "Together at Home" [has] special meaning to me. When writing the lyrics, I tried to be as honest as possible with my feelings and thankfully, the team loved it, so I was very happy about that. Hopefully fans can also feel the sincerity of the message and like the song as much as I do.

Mark: It was fun writing both songs but I enjoyed "Together at Home" a little more because it really suits the current situation we’re all going through and I could really relate to it. Through this process, I realized how important it is to stay true to yourself. You can get inspired and get ideas from basically everything around you, but ultimately, you need to interpret them in your own way. Staying true to yourself differentiates you from other artists. This is what I always try to bring alive through my music.

Who would you love to collaborate with?

Taemin: I would love to collaborate with Jessie J one day. Her performances are very sincere and I can feel her singing from the heart. I admire her energy and passion onstage and she is someone I feel I can learn a lot from. I also think we would create great synergy together if we collaborated!

You all are incredible dancers. What song from Super One has your favorite choreography so far?

Kai: I personally like "Tiger Inside." The choreography is inspired by the movement of a tiger and fits perfectly with the concept and theme of the song. I like that the choreography has its own storyline.

Quarantine and COVID-19 have drastically changed every musicians’ plans for the year. What is a day in the life of quarantine like for you? What things have you done for self-care when the days have felt harder?

Ten: First, I do the basics like wash my hands often, take vitamins, eat healthy, and exercise. But, most importantly, I’ve been keeping myself busy at home relaxing, practicing my vocals and dancing skills, finding new hobbies, and trying new activities that I didn’t have the time to try before. I was actually surprised at how much you can do at home.

Is there anything you can tease about what fans can expect for your next tour?

Mark: When we are able to tour again, I can guarantee we’ll be preparing the best show ever. As much as we missed out on a lot of shows due to inevitable circumstances, when it’s safe and the next tour opens, we’ll bring everything we have for the fans, especially songs from Super One.

What Halloween group costume will SuperM do this year?

Mark: It would have to be The Avengers! And if I were to do it myself, it would still be a character from The Avengers. Maybe Spider-Man? It’s a character fans really like and I think it suits me really well.

What's an entertainment pick—TV show, music, movie, video game, book—you’ve loved in quarantine?

Baekhyun: I’m sure many people are already watching a lot of Netflix and YouTube videos at home. Rather than an entertainment pick, I think it’s a great idea to take advantage of the time we have and start a new hobby you can do indoors—like learning to play a new instrument. Everyone has something they’ve always wanted to try but never did. Now is a great time to start! If you're interested in learning a new instrument, there are many great books and tutorial videos online so you can teach yourself!

Taeyong: SuperM videos! We created a lot of content for you guys and they’ll definitely keep you entertained and make time go by faster. Hopefully they’ll make you laugh too!

What’s next for SuperM?

Baekhyun: Fans have already seen our powerful, energetic side through our performances. Now, we want to get closer to the fans and show them more of our "human" side—who we are off-stage. Of course, we’ll continue to bring great performances but at the same time, we want fans to feel comfortable approaching us and not feel so distant. Most importantly, I want fans to find comfort and positive energy in our music.

Alyssa Bailey @ ELLE

ENGLISH TRANSLATION ( Jeannette Nobbe)

VOLSKRANT.NL 31/01/20

by Mennon Pot

https://www.volkskrant.nl/cultuur-media/conchita-wurst-sorry-dat-ik-zo-n-wandelend-cliche-ben~b0477817/

(Conchita) Wurst: 'I'm sorry I'm a walking cliché'.

Above all we know Conchita Wurst as the bearded 'female 'singer who won the ESC in 2014. But we've moved on and are a bit wiser. It´s just Wurst now, but the beard is still there.

With light feathered steps, Thomas Neuwirth (31) enters the conference room of the hotel in Groningen where he is staying: black combat boots, black leather pants, tight black T-shirt, the black beard and the perfect short trimmed jet black hair..

He introduces himself as Tom. It's not difficult to recognise the bearded drag queen Conchita in him. (Kopenhagen, 2014, remember?) but the dress and wig are stowed away for a while. Conchita has a sort of sabbatical, so to speak.

Neuwirth is on tour as a man. Stage name: Wurst. Yesterday evening he performed in Groningen; the next concert will be 7 february at the Melkweg in Amsterdam. His new album 'Truth over Magnitude' also carries the artist´s name Wurst.

Let's get this straight: when the subject is Conchita Wurst, the word 'transgender' sometimes comes a long. Wrongly. Neuwirth is a man, ('but incredibly gay, of course'), who has a choice from now on: being on tour as a drag queen (Conchita) or as a man (Wurst) .

´a lot of fun, being a masculine stage persona', he says. Conchita will turn up again somewhere else.

Holland appreciated Conchita's 'Rise like a Phoenix' with the highest score, almost 6 years ago.

Neuwirth didn't forget: twelve points, douze points from Holland for the bearded diva from Austria.

Then hectic years followed. 'After the Song Contest I thought, I have to make the most of it now, build my fame and cash it in. So I surrounded myself with all kinds of experts, managers, stylists, make/up artists, the whole circus. After 3 years I was exhausted. I couldn´t do it anymore. I told my audience every nigh, be yourself, believe in yourself. But along the way, I forgot myself.´

He got rid of the experts’ circus and is having a relaxed tour now, with a small entourage. He feels good again, although in 2018 he had to announce he is infected with the HIV virus. His manager politely asks, almost in an humble manner, not to talk about that.

Tom doesn´t appear to be very worried about that. There has seldom been a star who starts an interview so cheerfully. ´A great photo shoot and after that talk about things I find beautiful and fun.

Terrific, I was already looking forward to it when I came out of bed.´

´Curriculum Vitae'

1988 – Born as Thomas Neuwirth in Gmunden, Austria

2007 – Candidate at the talentshow Starmania, and boyband Jetzt anders!

2011 – Debut as female persona Conchita Wurst, the debut single `I´ll be there´

2012 - Second place at the Austrian Songfestival

2014 – ESC winner with ´Rise like a Phoenix

2015 – First album ´Conchita´, co-presenter ESC

2018 – Second album ´From Vienna with Love´

2019 – Debut as male stage persona ´Wurst´, third album ´Truth over Magnitude´

2020 – Wurst ´Trust over Magnitude´ Sony Music

Wurst will be performing in the Melkweg in Amsterdam on February 7

SOUNDTRACK

Music from the Motion Picture Titanic ...1997

´My first CD. I was 9 years old when I bought it. `My heart will go on´’changed my life´. As it were, Céline Dion gave me permission to be utterly dramatic and to be over the top. When I came out of the closet, I heard that song in my head.

It was also a liberation for me as a singer. My mom always sang with a thin, high falsetto voice. I thought that was how it should be. Dion taught me, you may yell as hard as you can, with all the power you have in you. When you sing so loud, you can’t fake it. The sound you push out of your body, is the sound of your body, unique and by definition authentic. Céline Dion taught me that singing is something really physical.´

SERIES

The Crown ..Netflix..., 2016 until 2019

´For me it´s getting difficult to watch a movie to the end. I guess that´s because of all the series on Netflix and HBO. My favorite is `The Crown´.. ´the intro alone is so beautiful, that liquid gold that forms a crown, such art. I used to watch it twice. Ít says something about the fact that I can´t choose between the two women who play Elizabeth and the two men who play prince Philip. All the actors are great. The costumes, the stories, the palaces, it´s so delightful. The history also intrigues me, after every episode I checked on Wikipedia if it was really what had happened.

PARTIES

´At Christmas I always come back to Vienna. I love the lights, glitters and decorations, my inner Mariah Carey is looking forward to it every year. Christmas 2019 was extra special because it had been a long time since the whole family came together at my grandmother´s house.´

I would love it to be like that every year... A couple of days being together in one home. Talking, getting to really know my family. Maybe now you think, days on and on with uncles and aunts, such horror! It is easy to say that I don´t really have much in common with these people. But I do, Really. They all have a story and similarities with your stories. Ask them about your life and tell them about yours.´

That´s what Christmas is all about to me. To me, the birth of Jesus has not that much to do with it.´

ISLAND..

I have an agreement with my best friends to go on vacation at least once every two years. We have been to Mykonos a couple of times, THE especially gay island. I´m sorry I sound like a walking cliché.´

The sun, the sea, the beaches, the small streets, so cosy. We rent a house with a pool and for a week or two we live in our own little paradise, actually being a bit tipsy the whole time. Go shopping and cook.´

`What´s also very important, on Mykomos, the wind is always blowing the right way. I love to watch the women, because their dresses and their hair flutter so beautifully.´

STYLE ICON

Victoria Beckham

I was and still am a big Spice Girls fan and I especially admire Victoria Beckham, because she lives her life the way she wants. She appears in tabloids every day, but has survived a crisis in her relationship and has stayed happy with the love of her life and her family. I think that it´s really strong.´

In regard to her style, she can go from very classy to very trashy, I like that. One day she´s wearing a designer dress, the next she and David Beckham are walking in identical jogging suits. She couldn’t care less. I think that it´s inspiring.´

´I think she is utterly authentic, raging through the glamour. Although I have never met her, I´m sure that I could have a lot of fun with her. I´d love to drink some tequila with her for an afternoon or so.´

AGE

30

´I thought becoming 30 was really special, I lost my wild behaviour, came to be more restful. Some way or another I think a lot about some things my mother said: in my twenties, I ignored those lessons, but now I´m 30, I suddenly realised she was right for example how important family and friends are.

I´m 31 now, I have inner peace and my life in order, but I still feel young. I´m convinced that this the best period of my life´. My advise to everybody... be 30.´

ALBUM

Recomposed by Max Richter / The Four Seasons ..2012

I don´t play any instruments and until not too long ago, I didn´t really know much about music. I really found that a pity sometimes. Fortunately, my good friend Martin studies at the School of Musical Arts... !! He´s studying the history of music intensely and tells me about a lot of great composers. I learn a lot from that.´´I never understood classical music and didn´t really know anything about it, but thanks to the listening sessions with Martin I fell in love with Vivaldi..

The pop artist of the classical artists.

´Max Richter interpreted Vivaldi´s Four Seasons and composed it in a modern fashion. It´s a modern, post minimalistic piece, completely different from the original one, but you still recognise it. Greatly done, at the moment it´s my favorite album.´

BOOK

Friedrich Schiller « Ueber die aesthetische Erziehung des Menschen ». About the aesthetic upbringing of the people..´

´A good friend advised me to read the philosophical letters from Friedrich Schiller ..Letters, 1794-1795)

That´s a hard job to do. Because of the old fashioned German I had to read some sentences 5 times. You always have to wrestle yourself through a thick layer of 18th century sexism.

´But further on you´ll find something beautiful. Schiller writes a lot about finding your inner beauty and your own truth. Dare to be yourself. Embrace your darker sides. Those are important as well.´

´At the same time he preaches self-perspective.. don´t take yourself too seriously, you´re not the center of the universe. That is very worthy to me. Namely because I DO think I´m the center of the universe, haha.

`Still it´s very wise of him, to send a message from 1795 to a 21st century queen with a Mariah Carey complex.´

CLUB

Circus in Vienna

´The Arena is a huge complex in Vienna, a concert building with a mega discotheque. A couple of times a year they organize Circus, my favorite gay club night. I always go there with my group of closest friends, but it´s actually a bit of a rule that we lose each other and disappear into the crowd.´

´I roam around all night- Every room, every floor has its own musical theme and decoration. I love the types of people I meet there, their clothes, their fetishisms, everything.´

….Arena Vienna, Baumgasse 80, Vienna

CITY

Amsterdam

´I live in Vienna, I love Vienna and I will always come back there, but the greatest city I´ve been to is Amsterdam – since then I traveled all over the world so I know what I´m talking about.

´Of all the cities I visited, Amsterdam is the only one where I would want to live a period of time. So that´s what I´m gonna do, this summer, for a few months to begin with.´

´I can see that Amsterdam also has the flagship stores from all known store chains. And a lot of tourists, like every special city. But I see all these small jewelry shops where they sell their self-made jewelry. Little bakeries. Cosy streets. And a lot of water. I love water. I love cities with lots of water.´