#it was really a squeaky toy kind of sound
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Ok, so apparently, she enjoys agility. She started squeaking when we got there.
#it was really a squeaky toy kind of sound#I was worried she'd hate it#or wouldn't be able to focus#but the main “problem” now is that she likes tunnels too much and tries to get in there as much as possible before we even start#koolie#australian koolie#navi#my photos#agility
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why is it always about ellie pleasuring us and never about us pleasuring her??? like I wanna edge then and then overstimulate her till she cries 👉👈
right?? like.. ugh especially with a vibrator !! mdni. mama petname used. sub!ellie. bratty behaviour. blah kind of a lazier drabble focused more on dialogue im just practicing for pccb (pretty cunt central, baby: a fic) 1.5k+ wc.
⤹ edging ellie with a vibrator ⋆ . ☣
Hung like a vignette upon her lain body, Ellie was vulnerable. Accelerated in the pump of her blood. Cold of her sweat, beading clammy condensation on her cheeks, a single bang strews itself across that muggy biome of skin— somehow looking darker as it soaks up her wet frustration. The bedspread, however, drank up a lethal amount of her crying sweat. A dull radiograph beneath her, turning lilac hue of her blanket—mauve, marking her body with a vignette of her own.
Ellie on her back, thighs broadened on each side of you, and you fully kneeling with cold toes wedged into the chub of your ass, is your position. Skimpy end of her pubic bush tickled your belly button whenever she scoots closer, eagerly trying to rub her greedy pussy on you— fuck, you cherish those little antsy movements.
"Fuckin'— unhhh— nuhnonono babe, baby.. fuck, c'mon!" her words drove on a groan, snapping into an upset whine when a certain toy was drifted from her beaming cherry clit.
Fun. Fun is what you gain from this, and it fed you with hormones to perceive it in that light. Your thumb planes plumb on a flat button, the surrounding indentation kissing your print as you let it sit softly, no vibrations to numb it.
Ellie chases your detach with her hips bucking and legs arisen, sticking out her cunt for that damn toys' bulbous head, "Mama— please, fuck.." the whine leavens, straining in her clench of stress.
She is so fucking handsome, cute— alurring with that glassy daisy nose. Buttony and speckled like a daisys lemony pistil, but glossy as a pearl washed upon a rocky cove, orb of luster on the tip to prove it. Fairest terra of her skin, has gone scarlet against the pale sand of her cupids bow, which she rolls inward to her bottom lip in even more neglect of her edging. Too fucking cute.
"Yeah, you fucking like that?" you flipped the toy on and jabbed it into her clit, provoking her hips to jerk in regret and her legs to clamp in on you— to which you dug your free hand into the plush hind of her thigh, stretching the web of your thumb and pointer, and craning that shit 'till her knee nearly kissed the mattress. Sprawled like a bitch in heat.
"Fuck fuck fuck! N— ohhh my guuh, haah—" Els bolted her eyelids to a creasing shut, scrunching up to her nose as you sunk that vibrator head in vertical drags, watching her pretty pussy lips swallow the ridge of it, "uhhhnn t'can't, cuuhh— uh!" blabbered she.
Your blabbering mess. Jolting up her pussy for you, the bulge of its aroused state really catching your eyes.
"Can't what, baby?" you coo belittleingly.
A nubby mass pushes your nude hips into her butt, thereafter you realize her heel was nudging you close, because she longs for your closeness, to be near when she cums.
Strias of breath warble from her throat, panting in dainty breaks, "Huhh— ha, uhh babe, m'wanna cum for you, cum with my pussy all over y—you, y—yeah.." her tune turns squeaky, enticing you with that weak coo, only to grow pouty and sassy, "stop be— uhhn, being a dick.."
A brow arches in amusement, "What was that?" you curl in feigned curiosity, lifting the whirring bulb with a webbing of her slick gluing from the verge of her hole to the plastic tip.
"Fuck—" a dramatic pulling of pants rise again, chest aswell, vocal chords calming, "you're just getting me back for teasing you, hmm?"
"Yes.." you spur from lying, sounding proud.
Rose buds of her lips curl in as she chugs air, gazing so doey—eyed at you through lashes sodden in faint tears. Those fucking brows curved in at the base of her nose, making her look so— dizzied, like she was about to pass.
She hikes up onto her elbows, pressing her hot buttcheeks harsh into your thighs until they splat. Ellie just knew, by the twist of your words and the crescent carving below your nose, you enjoy this. "God, you.." a sigh leaves her, cheeks inflating, "you fucking like this."
You frill, "Mhm."
"Fuck you."
Faking offense, you dusk your lids to a slit, glaring, "Scuse me?" stern with a smile, you winch a hand behind you— wrapping around another toys girth, "wanna talk t'me like that?" you press the vibrator back to her clit, swerving your other hand 'round and dipping the spade of a purple dildo into her hole— fast, stretching her lips open and bottoming 'till the small silicone balls squished her perineum.
"Shit!" yelped she, sudden lunge of her large mitt now grappling the hand on her thigh and burrowing bowed nail marks deep in your wrist, second hand clawing the cotton sleeve of her pillow.
You smack the balls hard on her wet skin, draining every bit of precum from her filthy gaping pussy— which landslides in between her ass. Drawing strings and strings from her cervix, the squelch arouses your ears, flushing them in heat.
"Yeah?" you silken a muse at her choked and elongated moans, dazzling the front of your knuckles in slick with your speed, "slutty fucking pussy, lookit' her— clenching that cock in."
It hadn't even washed over you that she was already cumming, bubbly sounds of her piped squirt swelling into your ears— thenn the little spurts come and the pooling of white cream licking up the pumping veins spatters your belly, riling you the fuck up. You didn't let up, nuh—uh, not when her raised brows, banshee—wailing mouth and ghastly eyes made you feel hot inside your own cunt, striving for overstimulation.
"Ohhh my god— huhhnn.." Ellie groaned, tatted arm flexing it's veins and yielding pigment from her fingertips.
You slipped the dick out like butter— her labia kissing closed, and slap it down on her swollen folds, noise coiling, getting her to jerk and push out more slicky finish, "There you go— good girl, cummin' for mama?" you steady the vibrator, letting it torture her convulsing clit for an.. untold range of time, whatever floats your boat.
"Uh'huh.."
Nimble as ever, you glissade the dick up her torso, crushing her slobber webbed lips with the pussy—reeked tip, "Mhm, that's right, open up babe.." asking of her with a satiny softness taking over that cold voice.
Spit drools down her chin as she caves her gob over, pupils colliding as she crosses her eyes in, "Ghh— uhhhahnn.."
"Don't talk.." you enlist a ruder tug on her clit with the vibe, forcing all that sweet syrupy cum down that throat of hers in droplets off the dick, "suck that fucking cock.."
Obeying, she rumples the plump coral skin around the thickness and drags them over the texture, pulling them out slightly. Cream white began to build at her pie—hole, cherry pie lips, a la her scarfing gags spitting everything that wanted to travel down. Little 'guh, guh, guhhs' bounced off her larynx, a fucking angel soprano to your ears.
However, she just couldn't stop thrashing. Past her point of please, were her non—verbal pleads of relief. Relief from that whirring device, rolling her butt deeper into the mattress now opposing the chase.
Ellie's quivering right arm fleets up and grabs your wrist, shanking the hell—sworn cock out of her mouth with spit connecting, messy girl, "Nonono, fhck— too much t'much 'tmuhh— ahh~" she gabbles, locking her butt up and humping up into the air void of intention.
Too much.
Too much..
Not enough.
"You know this baby," a bastion of even more pride instills your craving cunt, winding your knees smushed into the bed and crawling over her, body casting dark in your vignette, chastising "Ellie doesn't get a break 'till I cum too, 'kay?" you whisk the toy away, just for a second.
The bitter burn of tears piggyback over her bottom lids, squeezed out like orange juice and glossing like her wet and mucky slit did, both squinting at your actions. A snotty sniffle flows into her woozed words, "C—can I at least tou—uhh, touch you.. babe?" red puffy eyes gazing into yours with such want, skipping momentarily to search for any expressive sign of a reply.
"Sure baby, sit up— but don't close those fucking legs." you accept her ask, watching that ruffly—haired girl scoot up with such excitement.
Ellie sits vanward still, slouching with widely spread legs and a timid hand reaching for your cunt, the contrary paw dropping and fondling the cushion of your butt cause she just couldn't help the urge, tucking her head in the warm hearth of your neck— latching a bite so she may distract herself from what you're about to do.
You take her hand and invite it in, feeling her fingertips divide and tease your folds and her teeth nipping tiny spots of flesh into her dried chuckling mouth like a goat grazing, giving you the green light to creep the toy on her bloated bud, once more.
"I fucking love playing with you."
#ellie williams#⤹𓍢ִ໋aestras asks#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams smut#ellie tlou#ellie x reader#lesbian#sapphic#ellie williams x fem!reader#ellie williams fic#sub!ellie#ellie williams blurb#ellie williams drabble
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RECKLESS
Ellie Williams x fem!reader
Summary: While working, Joel comes in and tells you that your girlfriend, Ellie, was injured on patrol.
Contents: Slight misogyny, injury, swearing, angst, fluff, unconsciousness, playful banter.
Everyone in Jackson had a role, a purpose. Naturally Ellie was assigned to patrol and scavenge. Ellies strength was admirable, she was smart in combat, strong and immune, it was obvious why Maria put her on patrol. But you hated it.
You were never a natural fighter, more soft in nature. You were assigned as a glorified babysitter, taking care of toddlers during the day while their parents went off on errands and jobs. So you knew very little on combat.
Ellie loved that about you, your kind sweet and carefree nature, you seemed so fragile she had this urge to protect you ever since she first saw you chasing down a run away five year old, smiling and laughing as mud and snow splattered on your clothes.
You loved the kids, they loved you back. The small day care building always filled with childish babbles and bubbly giggles. You loved your job but you hated Ellie's. The idea of your girlfriend running from clickers. Shooting and climbing in abandoned building, death lurking round every corner.
You knew she was immune, her immunity calmed your nerves a ton. But immunity didn't protect her from people. Due to your kind demeanor people often assumed you were gullible and timid so they tried to take advantage of that. You couldn't count the amount of times you'd clutched your hidden pocket knife when someone approached you.
People in fucked up situations become morally grey and inhumane. Willing to do anything to achieve they're end goal. And it was horrifying, you trusted Ellie with your life, but you didn't trust others.
"Miss Y/NNN" a small squeaky voice pulled you from your chance. A small brunette girl looked up at you, doe eyes filled with tears, puffy cheeks and a snotty nose.
"Oh, What's wrong Nora? Why you crying huh?" You say bending your knees and crouching to her eye level.
"Miles won't share his toys cars with me-me. He says- He says I'm a girl so I can't play with cars" her words were rushed, small sobs and sharp intakes of breath between words. "Oh I'm sorry sweet pea, I'll go talk to him, why don't you go colour for a minute and I'll get you a car, yeah?" She sniffed, wiping her snotty nose with the sleeve of her cardigan and waddling towards the colouring table. Sighing softly you turn towards the group of boys pushing small cars on wooden tracks around on the floor.
"Hey guys, you've made Nora quite upset, can you tell me why you did that" you spoke softly, sitting down next to the group of 4 year old boys.
"because she's a girl. And these are our toys..." He mutters moving the toy car and bashing it into his friends.
Thinking on how to approach this you start talking. "In Jackson, everyone shares, the other day I was food shopping and your mother shared some of her vegetables with me. You see if you want to be a big boy you have to learn to share sweetheart. Nora might be a girl but she can still like cars."
He looks at you "So if I go give Nora a car, I'm a big boy?" He questioned, looking comically puzzled. "Yeah that would be really nice of you honey." You say an encouraging smile painting your face as he begins to wonder towards the brunette girl, two toy cars in his hands.
"Y/N." A deep voice sounded from behind you. Quickly getting up and turn around "Joel." You said to the man whose frame took up the majority of the doorway. "What's up?, usually you don't come visit me during work." You added, a smile graced your face at the welcome visit from the man.
"Uh, Ellie came back from patrol and she's not looking too good. She was shot with an arrow in her shoulder, it wasn't bad by itself but it sent her falling forwards and she hit her head, she's out cold." He explained to you, the worry written on his features soon matching yours. You felt your heart drop, a sense of dread overcame you.
"Oh shi-" you cut yourself off looking at the distracted 2-6 year olds, "shoot." You finish "where is she?" "She's in my spare room, I patched her up she'll have a headache when she wakes up and have to rehabilitate her shoulder for a few weeks, thankfully." He answered.
" my shift ends in five, Gia should be here for her shift soon, you mind staying here till she shows up?" He sends a nod your way and you immediately grab your jacket and bag leaving the middle aged man with the group of fifteen toddlers. If you weren't so worried about your girlfriend, you would've laughed at the situation. Joel miller with a crowd of children, completely hopeless. Poor man.
Your feet hurried as the sight of Joel's house came into view. Hurrying up the porch steps, swinging the door open, quickly throwing your shoes off, dumping your backpack on the ground and rushing upstairs.
Opening the spare rooms door, your breath caught in your throat as the sight of your unconscious girlfriend laying on the double bed, bandages rapped around her shoulder, a patch on her head, covering what you can imagine Is a large bruise. You moved forwards, perching on the mattress looking down at Ellie.
Her face looked calm and serene, her beautiful brown hair falling Infront of her face, her soft lips had a small split in it. You kissed her cheek, tucking her hair behind her ears. You looked around the room, your eyes focusing on the rocking chair pushed into the bay window. Getting up and pushing the chair closer to her sleeping form.
You say on the chairs floral cushion, reaching forward and grabbing her hands. Absentmindedly your fingers began to trace the veins and scars on her hands.
"hey.. HEY." Your body jolted up abruptly, being startled awake by a husky voice. "Ellie..." Tears welled in your eyes as you stood up and cradles Ellie's face.
"you are such an idiot, so so reckless and stupid..." You mutter gazing into her eyes, you saw her lips quirk up in amusement. "Don't smile, you're in a huge amount of trouble, missy" you say sternly, raising an eyebrow at her when she rolls her eyes playfully in retaliation.
"sorry, miss Y/n" she mumbled pouting out her bottom lip, mimicking the kids you work with.
"Oh shut up" you reply, you lean down, gently pulling yourself closer, and tenderly push your lips against hers. A sigh leaves both of your mouths, relief evident in both the softness of the kiss and in the happiness of Ellie being okay.
She's okay, she's alive. Of course she's alive, your girl is so strong, she'd never leave you.
Ellie breaks the kiss murmuring a soft "c'mere" and patting the empty spot next to her on the bed. You scooch yourself over to her, resting your head on her uninjured shoulder and nuzzling into the crook of her neck. Her hand reaches out and cradles the back of your head, dragging her hands through it, softly combing and detangling.
"I'm alright beautiful, I'm all okay. I've been through too much shit to let an arrow fuck me over. And I could never leave my pretty girl alone, you're stuck with me sweetheart, you're never getting rid of me, for as long as I can help it.
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I like this one more than my last one. I hope you enjoyed this mini-fic. If all goes to plan then I should be uploading some head canons later too.
NOT PROOFREAD
#ellie williams#ellie williams x reader#pedro pascal#the last of us#ellie williams fic#ellie williams x fem!reader#ellie williams x female reader#tlou hbo#ellie headcanons#lesbian fic#lesbian#ellie x reader#teacher!reader#elliesmainhoe
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Too Sharp to Touch pt.7
Word Count: 4.2k (I gotcha covered besties)
Warnings: Swearing, mentions of guns, vomit, violence
Summary: After a long week of back and forth between you and Wednesday you have to go into the woods in search of your hidden textbooks.
Pairings: Wednesday x Reader
Too Sharp to Touch Masterlist
When you sat down at the dining hall for breakfast the first thing that happened before you even got to take a bite of your cereal was that what appeared to be a freshly-sharpened dagger was thrown with deadly accuracy straight at your shoulder.
Of course, you were able to dodge it; you were a werewolf - you basically had spidey senses thanks to your heightened hearing and sense of awareness but you still practically jumped out of your seat as you did so, your eyes landing on the hunk of metal now embedded in the wooden support behind you. When you glanced at the exit to the dining hall for the culprit you saw nobody there. Though you knew exactly who it was.
Your week had been a living hell. Wednesday knew. Of course she had found out. You knew your acting had been shit. And you had been an idiot to think you weren’t going to pay.
You had started out your lovely morning the day before, awaking to a hissing sound in your dorm room. It was subtle, and definitely not something you noticed at first. You had sat up in your tangle of blankets and looked around with groggy eyes, checking your watch and looking out your window to try and estimate the time, trying to figure out what had woken you in the first place. You’d slid out of your bed, and that’s when you heard a sickening rattling sound from right under the bedframe, knowing enough from your time in the woods exactly what it was.
You had performed what you personally thought to be a ninja skill level dodge, twisting on your heel in that new move Wednesday had shown you during lessons the other day, jumping out of the way and over onto the other side of the creature, grabbing the rattlesnake firmly behind the head while it thrashed about, hissing furiously and snapping at air. You had planned on disposing of it outside in the woods where it belonged but when it almost bit one of your fingers off you simply cracked it in half with a huff.
Rumor was the teachers were horrified to discover a dead snake in the trash cans.
You knew who it was the second you had seen the snake anyways. It wasn’t like you had left your window open and a rattlesnake so happened to somehow slither up a two story building to slip inside, half a mile away from where most snakes inhabited the woods.
No, you knew better than to think that.
And sure, you knew that you deserved this but you were never one to pass by some competition.
You had gone to YouTube on a search for some things, and after a painfully long day of watching multiple tutorials, with the help of a newly vengeful Thing (still mad over being falsely accused), you managed to not only replace Wednesday’s cello strings with guitar strings but you also managed to un-tune it, screwing the knobs not to the point of breaking, just enough to annoy the Addams. Thing had reported detail by detail that night his dramatic recollection of Wednesday’s annoyance and slight confusion when she picked up her bow to play the cello and was met with the realization that not only was her instrument untuned but somehow replaced with the wrong kind of strings.
You knew it was suicidal but you loved it.
After classes that same day you had headed back to your dorm to finish up a paper for tomorrow but when you sat down at your desk to start working, upon pulling open your drawer for your school supplies, not a single piece of paper or notebook was to be found. And instead, all that you saw were dog toys. The drawer was packed top to bottom with squeaky toys, tennis balls, and rawhide bones. You had been in surprise for a moment and honestly you thought it was a little funny, not really that offended. You’d been able to get rid of most of the toys, (you gave them to a thrifter in Jericho later on), but you did end up keeping one of them for yourself, though you didn’t tell anyone about it.
Your retaliation in response to the dog toy stunt was to put creamer in her coffee when you were sitting beside Wednesday at the study group, waiting giddily for the raven’s return from the shelves of the library. The goth had returned a few minutes later and sat down beside you at the desk, returning to her work. You had to wait a couple minutes before you saw her glance at her coffee to take a sip, and the look of disgust from the now sweet taste of what once was such a bitter coffee was quite enjoyable to you. Maybe you were a bit of a sadist, but you still had to pinch your inner thigh to keep yourself from giggling at the sight of the raven’s glare slowly shifting over to you. The rest of the group, if they’d noticed, would surely be confused but both you and the Addams knew exactly what was going on.
It honestly wasn’t too bad of a week now that you thought about it. Sure, you had to be on alert constantly but that was what your relationship with Wednesday typically consisted of. Just with a slight bit more murderous intent. Which, honestly, you didn’t mind. It felt good to be enjoying yourself, even if what you did consider ‘revenge’ was a little watered down compared to what Wednesday did. The only real time you had been in serious danger was yesterday.
You had been in botany class, doodling on your notes as you half-listened to the teacher, when you’d spotted a granola bar left discarded in the section under your desk, much to your relief. You hadn’t eaten much that day so it was a pretty damn lucky coincidence. You were completely unaware when Wednesday watched you eat the granola bar, eyes trained on your every move.
You’d been awake all night that night throwing up. Although the goth didn’t actually make an appearance that night you knew that Wednesday had tampered with the sealed granola bar you’d eaten, although when Thing arrived in your dorm with a bottle of water for you and some lame excuse that ‘it was his idea’, you had felt a little bit better. You had sent the hand back with a couple spare inks you had laying around as a thank you. That night overall had been somewhat of a trainwreck though. Only Wednesday Addams of all people could somehow tamper with a sealed granola bar. It was still puzzling to you how in the hell she’d managed to do that.
Not many students knew about the ongoing ‘war’, so you called it. It was a loose term and you didn’t take it very seriously. Enid and Thing knew, of course, and they just stepped back and let you two do whatever it was you were doing. As for the others…well…it was also funny to see their reactions. For example, when you were playing the game Mousetrap with Ajax, Bianca, and Divina in the quad the other weekend. It was your turn, and you’d accidentally set off the trap. Much to the others surprise the traps that’d been set up throughout the game were rigged, and when you turned the crank a small blade shot out from one of the plastic pieces, taking out a small chunk of flesh from your finger. It wasn’t deep but it still stung like a bitch and you had to go bandage your hand before you even considered playing the game again. A small compensation, though, was the look of horror and shock on the others’ face when the whole ordeal had occurred. Oddly enough that night you’d found a small tube of some sort of mystery cream on your bed, which, when smeared on your wound instantly took the pain away. You had no clue what was in it or where it’d come from.
So, today, you had to go and find where in the hell the vengeful Addams had put your school stuff. Although you had gotten all of those dog toys out of you way after a quick search of your dorm your textbooks were nowhere to be found, which, admittedly was a problem. Sure, you didn’t like to do schoolwork but it wasn’t like you didn’t need to do it. You were already late on a couple assignments so if you didn’t get your ass in gear you were going to be in trouble. You’d already looked in all the places you’d thought of but had come up dry, and you had no clues or context as to where they could be so you gave up and decided to just go to Wednesday and ask.
You knew that since it was early morning the Addams was awake. You had time before class to talk. Especially since you had just had a dagger practically thrown at your face. Well…your shoulder. Odd, considering you knew that a dagger in the shoulder definitely wouldn’t be a fatal wound.
After yanking said dagger from the plank of wood it was embedded in, you carefully held it so you wouldn’t accidentally stab yourself as you walked quickly out of the dining hall, cereal left behind and uneaten. The hallways weren’t as crowded as usual due to the early morning so it wasn’t hard for you to manuever through them, headed for where you knew Wednesday was. The Addams always sat every morning in the quad with a cup of bitter coffee, either writing in one of her notebooks or reading. And when you entered the almost gray area when you eyes fell upon the familiar spot, there she was.
The raven was seated stiffly on one of the benches by the wall, a book in hand and a cup of coffee at her side, still steaming and clearly fresh. She hadn’t been here long. And the second you stepped into the quad you didn’t miss her glance over in your direction. You had to stop yourself from starting to long as you shook your head and approached the goth, your eyes narrowed, huffing with frustration as you halted directly in front of her. Frustratingly enough, she didn’t make eye contact with you, purposefully ignoring you as she slowly and delicately turned a page in her book.
“Tell me where they are.”
“What a warm welcome,” Wednesday quipped with a raise of her eyebrow as her dark eyes never strayed from the pages. “It’s quite early for you to be awake. I expected worse of you.”
“Cut the shit and tell me where my books are, Addams.” You tapped your foot impatiently, silently debating whether or not to push her book away. “I don’t have all day.”
“Oh really?” Wednesday turned another page, perfectly manicured black nails lingering for a painfully long amount of time. “I assumed that you had an interest in playing games, Y/N. And though you might be somewhat adequate at playing your trivial…amusements on others, I, on the contrary, can assure you that you are inferior when it comes to being the subject of my dissatisfaction.” A hint of a smirk passed over her deadpan expression as she tilted her head slightly to finally look up at you. “Besides, I assumed you would appreciate my…tokens of appreciation towards your stunt.”
A small huff of annoyance passed your lips as you frowned slightly at the raven. “Look, we’ve been going back and forth all week and I just need my stuff back. Would it make you feel better if I said that I forfeit?”
Another page turned slowly, making your fists clench as Wednesday responded, “it was inevitable that you would accept defeat. Your blows were remarkably inferior.” She paused to take a sip of her coffee before her eyes once more met yours. “Seeing of your abilities I assume that you should be able to track out your possessions; I might recommend searching the north-western quadrant of the woods.”
Your eyes widened in frustration and annoyance. “That’ll take me half the day to search, how much ground to you expect me to even cover in the period of time that I have to work with?”
“Your senses are more than satisfactory for uncovering your works. If you use what you have of a brain then you should be fine.” The raven gave a slight roll of her eyes, returning back to her book, muttering. “Just don’t do anything foolish.”
“Yeah, yeah, glad to know you care so much.” You were poking at her now but you weren’t really paying attention when the Addams shot you the deadliest of glares, jaw tightening with frustration before returning to her book. You exited the quad, swerving down the hall. How in the hell were you going to do this alone? You had a lot of area to cover and only so much time before class started. Huffing, you picked up the pace as you powered through the halls. Your ears picked up a familiar scuttling sound from somewhere behind you, followed by a small tugging of your pants leg, making you turn and see none other than Thing.
“What do you want, Thing? I don’t have much time.” You paused your walking so the appendage could tap rapidly without having to move at the same time. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll deliver your lotions tonight, okay? I can’t right now but I promise I will.” An idea sparked in your mind before you started to walk again and you slowly glanced down at Thing. “You want another nail filer, right?” A couple of taps easily affirmed your question as you brightened. “Perfect. Then help me find where the hell Wednesday hid my books in the woods, and you’ve got a deal.” Thing paused for a moment before rapidly tapping again.
“You weren’t with her when she hid them…” you slightly deflated before shaking your head and continuing. “Doesn’t matter. Two heads are better than…” you trailed off before trying again, “two hands? Two hands are better? Wait…” you counted your own hands for a moment, feeling extremely dumb for a second. “Three- three hands are better than one.” You were met with a couple smug taps and you bristled. “Shut up and help me look.”
The hand grabbed hold of one of the straps of your backpack to pull himself atop it, and you took that as a sign to continue, weaving through the halls until you hopped off the back steps and onto the lawn. The early morning sun was just starting to tip over the trees that still somehow bore leaves, though the grass was scattered with said foliage, crunching underfoot as you made your way across the lawn, shivering slightly as you silently wished the sun would just hurry the hell up.
The protection of the woods dimmed the light further, despite the lack of protection from the trees, what little light there was quickly darkening as the cover of the forest encapsulated you. It wasn’t as peaceful as usual. The woods had an almost eerie vibe, one that you couldn’t place but one that you could sense. That little patch of fur on the back of your neck? Standing on end, like your spidey senses. You caught yourself looking around on multiple occasions, having to shake off the wariness as you tried to focus on the task at hand.
Wednesday had said it was in the north western part of the woods. Perfect. You were already there. But how would you be able to track down textbooks? What kind of scent trail would that even be? Sure, you’d maybe spilled a tad of soda on a page or two but surely that wasn’t anything strong enough to track down. You let your bag down so that Thing could emerge and the hand was instantly scuttling off into the woods, searching one section so you could continue yours.
No, you were not going to get on all fours like an animal and sniff. The mere idea sent a shudder of repulsion and disdain down your spine, as you simply crouched down on the balls of your feet, closing your eyes as you tried to focus on what you were honing out. All that you could scent at the moment was pine, fir, durt, and the regular must odor of the forest, overlayed with old scent trails of animals that’d passed by long before. Underneath it was a scent you couldn’t quite place. It was almost a sulfuric scent; it was definitely faint and you had to really focus to even get a good whiff, but it was there.
You started half walking half jogging around to try and get some sort of scent trail, rolling your eyes as you silently regretted your action of stealing the Addams’ typewriter. How in the world did she even expect you to-
A faint hint of vanilla.
You caught the scent abruptly when you passed a particularly large clump of undergrowth, stopping in your tracks as you slowly backed up to confirm what you’d just detected. Sure enough there was the scent of vanilla - a good strong whiff of it. Easily scentable. You crouched down again, not caring for once about dirtying your pants as you tore aside a couple clumps of pine needles and dirt, revealing a cardboard box, slightly bigger than a shoebox. Upon opening said box your books were revealed, and you let out a sigh of relief. As you pulled the box from the undergrowth you realized that the box had been lightly doused in vanilla extract, explaining the source of the trail.
Tucking your box safely under your arm, you started to pull your backpack back over your shoulder, dusting dirt and forest debris from your uniform when you suddenly heard the sound of multiple birds taking flight. Your head snapping upward you saw briefly through the thick trees a good number of said birds startled into the air, flying away with what to you sounded like a loud flapping of wings and an alarm call.
A faint scuttling broke through your thoughts as out shot Thing from the undergrowth, clearly scuttling as fast as he could as the hand dashed over to you, trying to sign through his scampers toward you.
“Thing, what’s wrong?” You glanced at the appendage, worry thick in your tone, trying to understand what he was trying to say, but before you could try and make sense of anything a sudden sound broke through the woods, causing you to jump.
A gunshot.
The sound cracking through the still early morning forest air was enough to make your stomach curl as the fur on the back of your neck instantly stood up, your fingers gripping your backpack strap so tight that your knuckles began to whiten as your eyes widened. Thing leapt atop your bag, signing rapidly, but you were in too much of a daze to even process anything he was saying, practically frozen on the spot like a deer in the headlights as you tried to work through the current fog that was your mind at the moment.
You couldn’t hear anymore gunshots, thank god, but now dread hung thick in the forest air, tension strung tightly from branch to branch as if it was something palpable you could touch. A thick stench of sulfur returned to your nose and you recoiled, taking a step backward that broke you from your daze, instantly reminded of the sulfuric scent you’d smelled earlier. You were backing up now, Thing clutching tightly to your bag as you turned and ran.
You knew there was nothing, nobody behind you but you were beginning to hear things, imagining the rapid footsteps and the crunch of dry leaves underfoot other than your own as you strained for every ounce of speed your body possessed. You were in flight mode.
Lungs aching and mind focused only on getting out of the forest, you burst from the cover of the forest, racing across the lawn as Thing held on for dear life just so that he wouldn’t fall off. You weren’t paying much attention as your feet got tangled up, and you took a tumble to the ground, skidding a couple feet in the grass as you felt the dry autumn terrain tear at your clothes, most definitely skinning a knee in the process. Thing went flying, landing a couple feet away from you as you stilled on the ground, taking in short breaths.
Your breathing was hurting. God, it hurt to breathe but every second you didn’t it felt like your lungs were going to shrivel and die. Struggling, you huffed in short, cut off breaths as you tried to register everything at once and calm yourself down.
Your body stilled when you heard the dreaded crunch of dry leaves underfoot growing closer. Weren’t you just imagining things? You were supposed to be safe here, Nevermore was supposed to be safe.
“Y/N.”
You slowly dragged yourself to a sitting position, trying to force an expression of calm on your face despite the icy panic you were still experiencing as you slowly looked up to see Wednesday, dressed in uniform with her bag over her shoulder standing beside you, eyes examining you as if you were a scientific experiment. Were you? Was that was this whole… treasure hunt in the woods had been?
“What happened?” The Addams tone was neutral but oh so barely softer. Her glare wasn’t as piercing as usual. She could tell. Like a shark smelling blood in the water, she could somehow tell how panicked you were? Was it the fact that that damn patch of fur you had was still sticking straight up and bristling like a hostile dog? Was it your struggling to take in breaths as you groaned at the new pain in your muscles from the fall you’d taken? It definitely wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been but it still stung.
You struggled to answer as your voice came out much softer than you intended, “I- it- there was-” you had to drag in a couple more breaths as the raven slowly knelt down beside you, cold knuckle coming under your chin to lift your face to meet yours, her eyebrows furrowing as she met your eyes. “I would suggest attempting to control your breathing and refraining from talking until you do so.”
Instead of responding with a witty remark you simply took her advice, trying to do a breathing exercise as you silently counted in your head, closing your eyes to help your focus as your chest began to rise and fall in a less erratic pattern. Slowly, you regained your focus and the panic seeped away, and you were able to speak regularly, though your voice had a slight shake to it. Damnit, you were supposed to be better than this. You didn’t want Wednesday’s pity.
“I found the books but when we were about to leave we heard a gunshot in the woods.”
Wednesday’s hand was gone almost as soon as it had come; you hadn’t even noticed. The Addams raised an eyebrow. “We?”
“Thing and I. We were together,” you stood up painfully, rubbing your skinned knee as you retrieved your fallen items, gesturing to Thing who was on the ground still, dazed. You silently promised yourself to bring him an extra nail buffer for the appendage as an apology later that night, watching him slowly crawl over to the two of you.
Wednesday straightened as her eyes flicked from Thing to the woods, clearly in deep focus as she remained silent for a moment. “Approximate the distance between where the gunshot originated and the academy.”
You thought for a second, math racing through your brain as you tried to make a connection. Damnit, you were sucky as hell at your math. After a moment you responded uncertainly. “I’d say two miles. The sound wasn’t as sharp as it could’ve been.” You were pacing now, mind racing as you recalled the sound itself. “I think it was a shotgun.”
“I see.” Wednesday’s eyes narrowed slightly and you noticed her jaw tighten slightly as she glanced at Thing again. “And what did you witness?” The appendage began tapping slowly at first, shaking off the daze of his own fall before his signs became more rapid in pace. The Addams sighed slightly as she folded her arms before muttering, “at least you made a wise decision in splitting up to cover ground.” She paused before turning to you, eyes glancing up to meet yours. “If I may offer a suggestion, I’d recommend that we bring this to Weems.”
Your eyes widened slightly and you felt a small flutter in your chest as you spoke, trying not to sound too hopeful. “You mean we’ll work together?”
Wednesday gave a roll of her eyes, muttering something under her breath with gritted teeth before finally glaring at you again. “Yes, but only for the fact that half of this school are incompetent adolescents who would perform quite poorly compared to… you.” The Addams reluctantly admitted, her voice becoming strained at the end of her sentence. “Strictly a professional relationship shall be required. Understood?” She offered her perfectly manicured hand to yours, waiting for you to shake with a raise of an eyebrow.
You didn’t hesitate one moment, grasping her cold, stiff hand in hers and shaking it.
—————
pt.8 here!
#wednesday addams#wednesday series#wednesday#wednesday x reader#wednesday 2022#wednsday addams#jenna ortega#werewolf#tstt#werewolf x reader#Thing#omfg r is so adorable but an idiot#wednesday's such a damn softie 💀
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Can you write about Sinclair brothers and Rusty nail's S/O is an artist but S/O's sketch book all only draw about them.
Thank you and I really really love your any creation or other thing else!! Really thank you and hope you have a wonderful day like you!!💜
Slashers coming across s/o's sketchbook
A/n: Thank you Nina, I love you too!! And again, Im so sorry for taking so long on your reqeust!
Warnings: Jonesy is the queen bee. Bite me. Not proofread.
Credit to @cafekitsune for the banner(s)
Beaugard (Bo) Sinclair
Bo didn't mean to stumble upon your many drawings.
He was up at the house, trying to tidy up a little (shocker I know)
and happened to knock over a stack of books. One of them being your sketchbook. He kneels down, picking up the books but pauses once reaching for yours. After a few seconds of glancing around the room, he grabs it and starts skimming over the many pages.
As he flipped through its pages, he was taken aback by what he saw. Each page was filled with intricate and lifelike drawings of only him. His heart swelled with a mixture of surprise, and a touch of vulnerability. He had never imagined that anyone apart from his brother could make something so beautiful.
Bo's fingers gently traced the lines of his own face in awe, realizing just how deeply you had been observing him. His mind began to race before quickly being interrupted by the sound of the front door being opened. He smirked to himself, keeping his back turned from the door as he kept flipping the pages.
Jonesy came trotting into the room with the wag of her tail, tongue carelessly hanging out. You weren't far behind as she walked up to Bo, giving his leg a short sniff before carrying on toward the basement.
"What'cha doin'?" you quirked a brow as you quickly caught on to him seeming to be hyper focused on whatever it was he was reading. When he turned his body, your book coming into view, your pupils dilate at the realization and embarrassment.
"Ya've really captured my good looks darlin! I never took ya for an' arti-" before he could finish his next sentence, you ran up and tackled his ass to the ground in desperation to get the book back and out of his eyesight. This caused him to laugh as he kept holding the book farther away from the both of you on the ground. After a couple minutes of teasing, he hands your book back, adding one last cherry on top.
"I also seen that ya've been studyin' anatomy~" He immediately got an elbow to the ribs in response.
Lester Sinclair
Had to take a double take.
He was digging under his trucks seat, looking for a toy Jonesy had dropped. He grabs ahold of something, thinking it's the squeaky toy, he yanks his arm out only to raise a brow in confusion when seeing it's only a book. The kind of book people use to draw with. He looks over to Jonesy who was sitting in the passenger seat, waiting patiently for her toy to be returned to her.
"I'll git yer toy in a second, alrigh'? Let me jus' look at this real quick," he sits down in the truck, carefully opening the book. His eyes growing wide when he spots your initials signed into the first page. He looks up at the front door to the house, seeing as the coast was clear, he looks back down at the book, peeling back another page. The first page was just little doodles of Him, Jonesy, and you. He flips another page, this time met with much more detailed sketches. Them being of only him. His eyes stayed glue to the pages as he skims each page with great precision.
"What'cha reading?"
He jumps in his seat when you pop up beside his truck window. The book again falling to the floor. He clears his throat, trying to calm his breathing.
"Erm...Would'ja believe me if I said nothin'?"
You quirked a brow before leaning inside the window and looking at the book on the floor of the truck. A look of embarrassment washes over your face.
"You were looking at my drawings...Weren't you?"
After that, he apologizes profusely, ending with you quickly forgiving him but taking the book back inside with you, deciding it best to keep it somewhere else and not in his truck anymore. As he watched you walk but up the steps into the house, his thoughts were interrupted again. This time by Jonesy barking at him. He turns around to see her still pawing at the seat, wanting her toy.
"Oh shoot! Sorry girl!" he quickly goes back to the task he was doing before, reaching under the seat for the dog toy.
Vincent Sinclair
His face gets so hot from the discovery, he almost thought his body heat melted his mask.
You both were in the basement. He was at his desk, working on another mask mold he had recently got from Bo. You were sat on his bed with Jonesy laying her head on your lap asleep. Currently you were drawing another sketch of Vincent, this time sitting at his desk working on the mask mold. After a few hours, you were almost finished with your drawing. Jonesy had already woken up a few minutes' prior. You were putting on the finally details when she trotted back into the basement, carrying her dog bowl in her mouth. She placed it Infront of the bed, nuzzling it with her snout closer before sitting down and looking up at you. You stare between her and your almost completed sketch before letting out a small chuckle. You set down your book on the bed, picking up the bowl and walking toward the stairs.
"Ima go feed Jonesy, be right back Vinny"
He let out a Mmhh in acknowledgement. When you leave with the dog, he continues working. That doesn't last long though when his focus goes to the open book on his bed. He looks over to the stairs then back to the book. He sits there for a moment before deciding to stand up and walk over to the bed. He pulls the book toward him, looking over the page you were recently drawing on. He's beyond surprised. The talent and detail is admiring to say the least.
By the time you return to the basement with Jonesy, he had already seen every single drawing you had in that book. He had already gone back to his wax mold, trying to keep his focus on something else besides all the thoughts and images in his head from his discovery. His face was almost as warm as the boiler that was a few feet away. You didn't seem to notice though as you went back to your spot on the bed and get right back to sketching.
He ratted himself out later on.
Rusty Nail
Flattered and impressed as hell.
After not getting to see each other for what seemed like a month but was only a week, Rusty finally pulled up to yall's shared home. The only thing on his mind was finally getting to sleep in his own bed with his only and favorite person. Upon walking through the door, he was immediately tackled by your affections.
"Welcome home old man!"
He lets of a rumble of laughter, giving your head a quick peck while wrapping his arms around you to also return the affection.
"Someone missed me eh?"
As you both go to your shared room, Rusty plops down onto his side of the bed as you walked over to your side, grabbing a book off the nightstand.
"I know you're probably exhausted but I want to show you something since I don't have the patience anymore."
You walk back over to his side, taking a seat beside him as you open up the book for him to see. Inside it was sketches you've drawing over the past week of his absence. Even though he was tired, his eyes grew a little surprised as he skimmed over the drawings. It was like looking in a mirror. He traced his hand over some of them, a soft smile spreading gracing his lips.
"These look beautiful sweetheart" he looks up at you with a smile before leaning forward a pressing another kiss to your cheek.
Now every time he leaves for a long drive, he takes a drawing with him and keeps it on his person at all times.
#bo sinclair x reader#lester sinclair x reader#vincent sinclair x reader#house of wax x reader#sinclair brothers x reader#rusty nail x reader#rusty nail#rusty nail joyride#rusty nail joy ride 2#joy ride 2#joy ride 2 dead ahead#joy ride
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Hiiii could you maybe do some TADC with a stress toy like reader? like a squeaky toy almost, who doesn't mind and actually kinda enjoys being squeezed cuz it's like a tight hug? If not the whole cast maybe just Gangle, Pomni, n Zooble pls I just really like your hcs
Gangle, Pomni, and Zooble with a stress/squeaky toy reader!
EHEHEHEH i made a mocha Frappuccino today its very yummy suck it starbucks you suck as a company and make mid as shit coffee
anyways i hope you enjoy this anon!
POMNI:
honestly i can kind of see pomni making squeaky noises when she gets crushed or squeezed or otherwise squished. to imagine you guys just hugging one another and just. you both make a squeaking sound LMAO. anyways i think pomni subconsciously squishes you, like doesnt fully realize shes doing it.. kind of gets a little embarrassed when you bring it up to her in a teasing tone.. please reassure her you dont actually mind and she can go right ahead with clinging onto you... probably more likely to squeeze you more after another day of trying to find an exit (and obviously not finding one)
ZOOBLE:
honestly i dont think they would use the fact that youre like a toy for the most part. zooble doesnt strike me as the type to like physical affection all that much, actually i dont think they like touch in general.. maybe thats just me projecting me aversions onto them but you know. srhugs. but every now and then you guys DO hug and cuddle.. probably jumps a little when they squeeze you a little too hard and earn a soft squeak from you.. probably ask if you made the sound with your mouth or something. cue them learning something new about you, unless they saw you make the sound after like. getting crushed during an IHA/j
GANGLE:
shes not strong enough to make you squeak/j ...though now that i think about it; does gangle have the same strength as she did when she was in her real body? or is she limited by her ribbons + some pity strength so she can actually support herself and her mask.. makes me wonder about the physics and rules of the digital world.. but thats off topic. i think that she would give you full body hugs, oddly very stressed (gee i wonder why, definitely not because of some rabbit/s)... its nice having someone around to let her vent her stuff out, usually hangs around you during free time and IHAs.. very nice, me thinks... building off of the possibility of her not being able to make you squeak i think it would be funny and sweet if you made the noise with your mouth (badly intimidating it, obviously).. its the thought that counts you know?
#tadc x reader#the amazing digital circus x reader#digital circus x reader#gangle x reader#gangle x you#pomni x reader#pomni x you#zooble x reader#zooble x you
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The Pets Favorite Toy
Jupiter
He likes anything metal. Anything that will make a clinking sound when he hits it against something. Metal sounds the most pleasing...and happens to be the most annoying
Schelm
Mozart needs to keep him away from his violin bow because he loves to swing that around and ruin the strings on it. But he really loves bells. He has one on his perch and loves to ring it. Sometimes it seems like he's trying to make music with Mozart.
Lumiere
A simple string does the trick. But he has a little stuffed mouse that he carries around. He's always batting it around Leonardo's room and losing it and he cries until Leonardo moves things to be able to get it back out
Brush
Anything he can get his hands on. For a week he just carried around a spoon. He also has a thing for taking Comte's ties and hiding them under the couch.
King
The boy wants to play tug of war with anything. So if he has something in his mouth and you go to take it, he thinks you also want to play. Theo has had shirts rip from this. However he's giving me sick vibes. He just carried around one of Theo's socks when he's working for comfort
Vic
He has a ball he loves to play fetch with, but man does he love to dig in the garden. That has to be his favorite thing to do. He also wants to find the biggest stick and try to carry it.
Harry
Isaac made him a wheel to run on and that's all he does now. Those little legs go so fast. Nyoom. But he would also love digging through packaging peanuts. Putting some treats in there for him to find.
Cherie
String also works for her. But she goes crazy for feathers. So when the birds are shedding, Jean gathers their feathers and puts them on a string for her.
Bunta
Paper. He wants to rip up paper. He thinks it's so much fun to rip it up and put it in his nest. But he will play with anything he can get to. He tends to steal paintbrushes.
Puck
He has a little tunnel he runs in and out of, and is acting like he is hiding. He will sit in it and watch Will do his thing, thinking he is hidden and cannot be bothered from inside the tunnel.
Time
Comte's shoes. If he leaves his shoes out Time will chew on them. But he also loves playing with a ball, chasing it up and down the hallway. Sometimes treats will come out of the ball and.he gets super happy.
Lottie
She has a little kiddie pool and she begs Sebastian to fill it up. If there's no water in it she stands in it and baaas at him. She just wants to play in the lil pool
Marshmallow
Definitely a squeaky toy kind of gal. But also anything crinkly. If it makes noise she wants it. But if it's a squeaky she wants to rip it out and then play with the toy. They have no clue why. She just wants to rip something to shreds and take it's heart out
Mephie
Faust gives her a lot of little kid puzzles and she loves them. The ones where you have to fit the right shape through the right hole? She loves it. But she also has a little stuffed animal she carries around and she CRIES when Faust has to wash it.
Louis
Basically anything he's allowed to chew on. They give him teething toys and he sits there and chews. However. He also loves the red dot. And the fact that he can climb makes it even more fun for Charles.
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Month three (July): letters to Juliet
Summary: You haven't been able to get Sy out of your head since that dream, So...you decide to write him a letter.
Warnings: none
July 1st 2022
Dear Sy,
I don't know if time is flying by so fast for you too, but it sure is here. I can't believe it's July already...
People have been putting up decorations for the 4th. I guess it made me think about you 'our boys over seas' or whatever
I guess I thought it would be nice for you to get a little update on the home front. Everything is pretty chill here. The neighbors in 6D just got a dog. One of those tiny ones that look like microwaved tissue. They named him Lester. A pretty 'old man' kind of name in my opinion, but I guess that's fair because he looks about a hundred years old.
I haven't burned the place down (yet). Although I did have a pretty close call last week when I tried to make a stir fry. I ended up ordering take-out, just to be safe. I bought some plants too, I hope that's okay. Well, I guess that's that then... I don't know if you're able to write back? Please don't feel obligated tho! I'm sure you're pretty busy? Fighting for the country and stuff...
Sincerely,
your favourite roomie
18/7/22 18:47
Dear 'home front',
Your letter was unexpected but welcomed. I hope you enjoyed the 4th of July. I've been sweating my balls off, but aside from that I'm holding on okay. It's weird knowing there's someone waiting for me in my home while I'm here. Well, our home now I guess. 'Lester' is the most 6D name I've ever heard. Speaking of dogs, there's one here that's taken a particular liking to me. The guys here told me her name is Aika. I think her owner was one of ours, a long time ago. She's a tough one, survived on her own here all this time. I started spraying her with green dye, to keep her safe. Kinda works like a life jacket I guess. If we make it out of here together I'm bringing her home, I think you'd really like her.
Sincerely,
Sy
July 29th 2022
Dear Sy,
I'm glad you got my letter, and I'm glad I got one back. I can't remember the last time I had a penpal. Handwritten letters feel so old. It's nice I suppose. People are online too much nowadays. Oh god, now I sound old. I'm glad you made a friend, even tho she has four legs and a tail, I'm happy she's keeping you company. You better keep her safe, because I'm already excited to meet her. I'm sure Aika and Lester can become friends, either that or she thinks he's a squeaky toy and swallows him whole.
p.s: Aika, if you're reading this, please keep Sy safe as well, because I'm pretty sure the garbage disposer broke and he needs to fix it.
Sincerely,
your favourite roomie
______________________________________________________________
A/N; ALRIGHT OKAY I THOUGHT THIS WAS VERY CUTE......
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i love love love love the chimera character in your icon!! did you make them? if you did, do youve detail pics and/or wip pictures? i really want to make / modify a sensory plush for myself so i love the addition of things like the teether tail and would love to see all the little beastie's features and learn more about them if youre ok with sharing!! and in general, do you ever post WIPs or tips abt sewing?? thanks for your time and sharing your amazing work with us!
First off, yes I do have a few bits and pieces of sewing advice in my plushie advice tag! There could always be more, though…
I’m glad you enjoy my chimera, I love him too! He was such fun to make and come up with all the babyish details for, and I’m very proud of him.
I don’t really have wip pics of the chimera (since I was kind of in The Zone making him) but I can take you on a, uh, short tour of his features, that sounds fun!
The baby boy himself… lots of pictures and words under the cut!
Here are the first doodles of him as I came up with his design! I was trying to make a cute lion/lamb (the meanings of the two parts of my irl name!) which is basically a chimera already, and the combination of primary colours, rainbows, and a cloud-like wool mane made the weather theme just happen.
Obviously I just had to sew this! He already looked just like a colourful baby toy.
Here is his lovely little face. I took style inspiration from a lion toy I had already, and to keep him accurate to a baby-toy style, I used embroidery stitches to make his face rather than any “choking hazards” like plastic eyes. I’ve not really used embroidery before so it was pretty hard to do neatly!
He’s also got ribbon loops for whiskers (or are they sun rays?) and you can also see a bit of star-textured minky fabric on his face and ears. Fun textures are important!
His mane is made with a super soft and fluffy fur fabric. Maybe not strictly “baby safe” since it can slightly shed fibres, but it’s very nice, and I’m not exactly a real baby lol. His horns have a nice ridged texture, you’ll see what those were made from in a moment…
Oh, I also added a banana scent chip from Build-a-Bear into his little head, because I love that smell. He’s a multi-sensory plush alright.
His front paws have some noises in them! In the red one is a squeaker, and the blue one is a rattle. You can buy these especially for putting in toys, but the rattle I used in him was actually just a little plastic capsule with a few beads inside like pictured!
All four paws have a bumpy rubbery texture on them. Rather appropriately, they are made from actual baby socks! I found a multipack of different colours that matched my planned colours perfectly by sheer luck.
The ridged horn material came from the top of the red sock!
Here is the tummy, also made with a star textured fabric. It has a cylindrical chime inside which makes a lovely musical jingling sound when he’s tipped around.
While bean filling probably isn’t baby safe either, I did put a beanbag in his bottom because I like a bit of weight and it helps him sit nice.
The wings have matching dimple textured minky on one side and smooth minky on the other. I feel like dimple minky is a must if you want to make a babyish toy!
Inside the wings are some pieces of (clean) cereal packet to give them a light crinkle sound. You can buy crinkly material especially for this too, which can be a lot noisier! He’s actually very quiet as crinkly toys go, but I’m okay with this.
He’s got some little raindrop patches made from dotty cotton, with more embroidered edges which I recall having a lot of difficulty with… looks good though! As well as textures, you gotta include some fun visual patterns in a baby toy too.
And finally, the tail! A thick rainbow ribbon holding a cloud shaped teether - another lucky find in a baby shop! It came attached to a squeaky sun and crinkly rainbow, currently held by another toy.
Originally I’d simply stitched the end of the ribbon in place around the teether, but then I got some plastic snaps (for making bandanas with!) and found they gave it a much nicer finish.
And that’s about it! Hope you enjoyed getting to know the little chimera and his features!
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i was thinking about how cute it would be to give pet gyutaro chew toys--his teeth are so sharp they'd need to be chewing bones or really hard rubber, but he'd love to gnaw on them! it'd also be funny to use a tug rope with him, like you're holding on to one end while he bites and pulls on the other, but his bite strength is so strong that the second he gives it a good yank you go flying😭poor baby feels so bad, he immediately drops the toy and looks like a dejected puppy, curling in on himself--it's only when you start to laugh and assure him that it's okay and you're alright does he start to feel better❤️
AW!! HE DEFINITELY DOES THIS!! ♡
His teeth ache a lot because he was never given anything to chew on from his previous owners. So you make sure to give him plenty of things to chew on.
You often give him bones but he usually devours them within a day. Once you even invested in getting him a giant cow bone and it only took him a few days to destroy it.
He loves using chew toys though (the squeaky kind that dogs use). The squeaky sound makes him feel like he's killing something and it feels good on his teeth.
He loves playing with you too, but he often underestimates his strength and you end up being tossed around. It's better if you just throw the toys for him instead.
The issue is that if he runs out of toys because he destroyed them all, you might find him chewing on other things. Like that day you found him gnawing on the mailman's tire. Man, does Gyutaro have it out for the mailman.
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TMNTposting Raphael edition (Part 2):
Part one can be found here. I really wanted to talk about my favourite little guy but I didn't feel like I had enough space to get all my thoughts down in the last post. So technically the entirety of part 2 is dedicated to 87 Raphael.
When asked who my favourite version of Raphael is, my answer is always a tie between 03 and 87 Raphael. I'm probably biased because they're the versions of Raph I grew up with, well 90s movies Raph is also in there but I really don't remember enough about the movies besides the Ninja Rap scene and I haven't rewatched it yet. The point being, 03 Raph tickles that itch for "more traditional Raphael" while 87 Raphael...I kinda just vibe with the little guy.
At face value he seems about as much of a traditional 'hot head' Raphael as Rise. Neither of them really fit into the "explosive temper" territory as 03, 12, 07 or the original Mirage comic Raph. He's a silly little dude. He likes playing dress-up, stand up comedy, and acting. Of all the versions of Raphael, he's definitely the most 'kid-like'. He's childish, he'll heckle his buddies for laughs, he even tells Shredder to go suck a lemon in the first episode. He's hilarious! But that type of comedy usually ends up getting him, and the other 87 turtles lets be real, into crossovers that horribly mischaracterize the poor kid.
As much as I loved TMNT 03, Turtles Forever is such a disservice to what TMNT 87 was, and who the 87 turtles are. 2012's second crossover with 87 also follows the TMNT 87 hate train, and it's so frustrating as a fan of most TMNT media. I get that the OG cartoon was super silly and tame compared to the others at face value, but every time someone says this I need to remind them it's 1) a cartoon from the 80s, and 2) lowkey really dark the more you think about it.
Such as:
-every time slavery is brought up and a plot for some other planet
-the entirety of the Red Sky seasons
-the humans of TMNT 87 always threatening to eat and or shoot the turtles because they're mutants
-the whole mutant hate sentiment being an allegory for the civil rights movement
But this is a post about Raphael. He's definitely still a funny little dude. But a lot of his humor stems from sarcasm and his cynicism towards the world. Raphael, is well aware humans are not fans of him or his compadres, and often sides with Donatello whenever he and Leonardo get into arguments about helping the humans. Their human friendship circle pretty much just ends with April and that's a dubious friendship at best since they're more or less a bridge towards her next scoop. None of them are really fans of Irma, Casey rarely appears, and the other human characters in the show are usually trying to turn them into kebabs until Dirk Savage the Mutant Hunter which already kind of says enough for itself.
This poor kid is honestly the bravest little dude. More often than not he'd rather run from a fight, or push Michelangelo into one for him. He's scared a lot, really giving off those youngest sibling vibes that are rare for Raphael. He's such a little scaredy cat that he his voice will sometimes sound like a squeaky toy. If Turtles Forever was correct about anything, it would be that Raphael would absolutely burst into tears meeting his Mirage counterpart.
But despite this all, Raphael is still probably the bravest version of Raphael they've ever created. Even though he'd rather scram, and read comics or watch TV. Despite knowing humans have it out for him, and will never accept him into their society. Even though he knows every time he saves them it will be a thankless job, Raphael will fight until his last breath. Like every other Raphael, he will protect the people and city he loves because that's who he is!
One of my favourite episodes in TMNT history has to be Raphael vs the Volcano because it really shows who 87 Raphael is as a person. There have already been a few posts about it recently who have all been far more coherant than I ever will be but let's do it anyways.
Raphael vs the Volcano:
-Donatello's latest invention, a health machine, malfunctions leading Raphael to believe he's unhealthy
-after panicking in the sewers a little bit, he goes back to the lair, only to overhear Michelangelo and Donatello lamenting over the loss of their dear friend.
-assuming they're talking about him, and that he only has a day to live, Raphael runs off, deciding that despite the fact the world sucks he's going to use his last day to make the world a better place
-he does a bunch of good deeds, increasing in danger, wearing a musketeer costume while the other turtles and April try to catch him
-some botanist is mad that a rich lady is taking credit for his discovery so he decides to eliminate all organic life on earth...not really important for Raphael's character except the fact he catches wind of this and takes this as his last deed before croaking.
-Raphael literally jumps into a live volcano to get the canister of anti-life juice, only escaping seconds before it erupts because the turtles arrive in time.
-the lesson of the day? don't jump into live volcanoes.
There's so much to unpack about this episode, but it'd mostly be reiterating the same things I said earlier about him. With a time limit on his life Raphael, despite the way he's been treated by the world will let go of his cynicism and crankiness to help people if it benefits everyone else. The kid shakes the moment he realizes it's been a huge misunderstanding and he's perfectly fine. Throughout the episode he's even saying things like "yeah too bad this is gonna be my last day". Like...he is CONVINCED he isn't making it to adulthood. If you think about it, it's basically what the other Raphs are as well, without the super explosive tempers. They're all just good-natured kids who have circumstances weighted against them, but they'll do whatever they can for the safety of their friends and family.
Please PLEASE give the 87 TMNT cartoon a chance if you've never seen it before. I promise it's actually good, and it has some extremely funny episodes.
#teenage mutant ninja turtles#theotxt#87 raphael#he means so much to me your honor#tmnt 12#tmnt 03#rottmnt#tmnt 1987
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coukd u maybe do a b99, maybe jake teases amy at work by just poking her sides then amy gets revenge when they get home ?
Poking the Bear
For the record, Jake loves his girlfriend. He just also really, really loves messing with her. She makes it easy.
“Hey, Ames. Can you pass me that box? Yep, that one.” He points up at the upper shelf in the evidence locker, knowing damn well Amy can just barely reach it. She stretches up onto her tiptoes, pulling the box closer to the edge of the shelf with small brushes of her fingertips. Jake watches the movement of her hands for a little too long.
When the box reaches the shelf’s edge, Jake crowds right behind her. She instinctively leans back into him--which, wow, that’s adorable--and uses his presence to keep herself from losing her balance.
He pokes her sides. Her squeak echoes like a gunshot.
“Jake.” She whirls around and grabs his hands.
“Amy.” He gives her his most innocent stare. “Still need that box, babe.”
She narrows her eyes at him. He smiles.
Amy slowly, slowly, reaches up for the box, eyes flicking rapidly over her shoulder to ensure Jake isn’t up to shenanigans. When she has the box securely in her hands, he pokes her sides again. She drops it with a yelp. He picks up the box as if nothing happened, as if she weren’t boring holes into the side of his head with her eyes.
“Thanks.” He kisses her temple and squeezes past her, not even bothering to hide his smirk.
…
“‘Scuse me.” Jake gives Amy’s sides a few pinches. Amy giggles--giggles!--and bumps into Rosa in her effort to escape. Rosa and Jake lock eyes for a moment.
“Jake,” Amy hisses, her face blooming an adorable pink. She swats his shoulder.
“Amy.” Jake holds an affronted hand to his chest. She glares, her nose scrunching just slightly as she tries to explode his head with her mind. Jake fights the temptation to kiss her nose.
Jake slips some cash into the vending machine and gives it a good kick for an extra bag of chips. He tosses it to Rosa and she catches it one handed, popping the bag neatly at the top with the force of her grip. Jake pauses to admire her handiwork, pokes Amy again, and swiftly flees the breakroom. He just narrowly ducks out of her grasp, but her squeal tells him that she couldn’t escape Rosa’s.
Amy’s laughter follows Jake out into the bullpen. His heart soars with it.
…
“Jacob Peralta.” The door slams open. Amy kicks off her shoes and leaps onto the bed.
“Hey honey, how was your--Amy, we can talk about thihihis!” Jake cackles as Amy tazes his sides, moving up and down in erratic patterns. He grabs her wrists for something to hold onto.
“Go ahead, talk.” Amy readjusts herself on his legs. Jake splutters and stares up at her, any coherent defense of his character lost to the sight of her hovering over him, her hair tumbling in loose waves down her shoulders. She rests her fingers in points on his stomach, still but threatening. God, she’s so pretty--focus, Peralta.
She raises an eyebrow. Jake whines and covers his face.
“That’s what I thought.” She vibrates her fingers into his stomach. His whole body jumps and he plummets into belly-laughter, the kind that makes him curl like a shrimp and wave his hands around.
“You have some nerve when you’re the one who’s deathly ticklish.” Amy tries to sneak her hands up to his armpits, but he clamps his elbows tightly down. This only traps her fingers on his ribs, but he’ll take it. He’d like not to die tonight.
“I am not!” Jake gasps, but the goofy smile on his face isn’t helping his case. Amy squeezes his sides. Jake makes a noise not unlike a squeaky toy, complete with a bouncy giggle, and Amy has the audacity to coo at him.
“You sure? Because this--” Another squeeze, and Jake actually snorts-- “Says otherwise.”
“You sound like the Pillsbury dough boy.” Amy snickers. Jake lets out a garble of syllables and curls up again, but Amy pinches at his stomach until he uncurls. He throws his head back into the pillows and kicks his legs. She finds a seam of muscle near his sides and curls her fingers into it, scritching with reckless abandon. Jake squeals and flops around.
“If you wanted me to do this, you could’ve just asked,” Amy murmurs in his ear, her smile curling past his pinkened ears. He squeaks in a way that would put their tea kettle to shame and hides his face again.
This is one of the best parts of their relationship. The way she knows him inside and out.
“Y-You are going to kill me, ohmygod.” His voice comes out at a higher pitch than he would have thought possible.
“You’ll live,” Amy says sweetly, jamming her thumbs into the creases of his hips. Jake’s life flashes before his eyes as he shrieks. He arches his back near-snapping as his laughter plummets into silence.
“Amy! T-Tickles!” His laughter rockets back to life, laced with hiccups. Amy laughs with him and it’s the only thing his melting brain can focus on besides her evil fingers.
She slows her hands, indulging in the full-body jumps she can coax from him with a poke nearly anywhere. His giggles swirl around them both. He throws an arm over his face as he reacquaints himself with oxygen.
Poke. Jake jumps and giggles, laughing more at himself and the situation than the touch. Amy must be able to tell too—she chuckles at him and smooths her palms over his chest.
“I have seven brothers. You will not win this war.” She points at him very sternly. He leans up for a kiss and she indulges him, but that brings her finger right into his ribs and then they’re both snickering again.
As Jake’s laughter dies down, the grin stays, morphing into something mischievous and a bit devilish.
“Doesn’t mean I can’t try.” He flips them over, scooping a squealing Amy into his arms and plunging willingly into the throes of revenge for the sweet laughter of his love.
#my fics#peraltiago#ticklish!jake#jake peralta#ticklish!amy#amy santiago#brooklyn nine nine#b99#they are everything to me do you hear me. everything.#haven't seen the show in a while so sorry if they're a little off! but this was so fun to write#truly a couple that feels like coming home
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it's hard to put into words the discomfort of the back end of season 2 of Twin Peaks.
You can't say a show jumped the shark when it built itself on jumping the shark. You can't say it's too campy when soap satire is in the bones. It's not like it's lost focus, added too many plot lines or stretched believability because that was part of the deal when it was working. I guess maybe it's zeroed in on the wrong things?
It's like there's a balance, a rhythm of quirkiness that, if disturbed, tips into annoyance and tedium. I have no idea what that is in this case because the pacing and tension, the mix of dark and light, well that was also all over the place.
I have been a fan of unusual absurd off kilter music, stories and visual media for over twenty years and somehow have zero vocabulary other than this made me feel things and this just didn't hit and of course art is subjective but isn't it odd that we don't have any language to explain why this "I think you should leave" sketch or adult swim fake commercial makes you laugh and another leaves you cold? an album that sounds like squeaky toys in a blender while people do construction has a tune that makes you forget to breathe: what makes that one special? I feel like i'm missing some kind of language and the keys to explain.
lately i've used the phrase "making emotional sense" for stuff that conveys what it wants, however bizarre or over the top. I can't help but think Twin Peaks started looking for a logical answer that doesn't explain the real emotional rot.
anyway I have two more episodes to go before things get really dark and symbolic again. I'm hoping the Ted Raimi in a bad wig cameo is the lowest shark jumping we get.
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I’ve finally started listening to Season 2 of The Magnus Archives, so as per usual, here are my thoughts on the first 10 episodes of the season, from 41 to 50! Already this season is shaping up to be a wild ride and I’ve really enjoyed it so far. But as always, here are some things to consider if you plan to read this post.
1: This post is extremely long and in depth, the longest of these I’ve made so far in fact. Read it only in chunks or if you have enough time on your hands.
2: There’s obviously spoilers for everything in The Magnus Archives up to Episode 50, so please tread carefully if you haven’t gotten that far. Also, please do not spoil anything from future episodes for me.
3: I recommend you read my previous posts before this one, as I will be referring back to those older posts. I’ve made a link to the masterpost here for you to easily access them.
Anyways, enjoy my rambling! :)
- Episode 41, Too Deep ⬇️
Statement of Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, regarding exploration of the tunnels recently discovered below the archives. Statement taken direct from and recorded by subject.
That episode title is right, the show of going a bit too deep for my liking, I’m SCARED. You know what, I’m happy to say that Jon has blossomed into quite the relatable protagonist. He has an undying thirst for the truth, and is extremely paranoid and traumatized by the events of Season 1. He’s just like me fr! Anyways, thankfully the content of this episode was much simpler and easy to digest than I thought it would’ve been initially. It does feel like Rusty Quill wanted to ease listeners back in by giving us an episode that establishes the new status quo, but that being said, this one still gave me quite a bit to think about. Firstly, we have Jon’s mental state which is…yikes. Like, I know a month has passed an all, but I still feel like he needs a hug and a long nap. I know I joke about wanting to bash this guy’s head in like a piñata, or throw him off a skyscraper, or squeeze him like a squeaky toy…but now I’m genuinely concerned for him. Knowing how Jane scarred him physically and mentally is really upsetting, but hey! At least Martin seems to be taking good care of him, although considering what happened to him last season I still have to question if he’s ok as well, just…I want everyone to take care of themselves as well. Also, I know this sounds wrong, but I kind of hope that jar actually does have Jane’s ashes in it, because I miss her and it would be nice for her to still kind of be with us. Also I hope Tim gets back to work ok :(. Also Not!Sasha still terrifies me-OK! Back to Jon! It is really cool that the season begins with a statement directly written by the protagonist, and while I’m certainly concerned about his paranoia (which I’ll get to later), it’s nice to see him actively engaging in the mysteries and looking for answers. But with that out of the way, what about the tunnels? Well, firstly, I’m glad that this episode clarified that these tunnels are like…a new discovery? Because when Tim mentioned them in Episode 39, he spoke about them as if they were common knowledge, which was just…kind of weird to me? Now, it’s become a lot more apparent that the tunnels are quite a recent discovery, and they make for a very intriguing new mystery! I’m certain they’ll show up more throughout the season, but for now, they are just…really terrifying. Firstly, I’ll mention some of the things we discovered about them that were followed up on here, and then go on to the brand new information we got. …GOD DAMN POLICE! I WANTED TO LISTEN TO THOSE TAPES!!! Look, I get WHY they took them, it’s just…UUUGGGHH!!! Gertrude Robinson, WHAT ARE YOUR SECRETS?!! On top of that we have the matter of the weird circle of worms. I still think they were trying to open some sort of hidden passage, but the implications that…someone else was there are certainly concerning. I assume it’s whoever seems to be lurking around down here (who might also be the voice Jon heard), but…I really don’t know what to think of this. I really don’t know what to think of…ANY of this! But as for the new information provided, we obviously have the facts about Millbank Prison.
Firstly, it’s always a pleasure to see TMA incorporate obscure real-world history into its story, I just think it’s generally kind of neat whenever they do that. But outside of that, I don’t really know what to make of this information outside of a couple of things (like the institute being built on top of a prison being potential symbolism for Jon being stuck here now that he’s gotten wrapped up in the mystery). The two things that really caught my attention however, was that they make sure to bring up the panopticon format of Millbank. This kind of ties into the whole them of “being watched” that’s been coming up. Also, I guess now’s a better time than ever to mention the whole idea of Jon being watched. I honestly don’t know who or what is watching him, but my best guess is that it’s whatever is in the tunnels, or if I’m crazy, ME. (Although I’m technically listening so…idk. It still makes me feel kind of guilty though.) The other big takeaway is that Millbank, and likely the tunnels, we’re built by our beloved Robert Smirke. The tunnels already did remind me of Episode 35, so this isn’t all that surprising, but it’s nice to get further confirmation that these places are fucked up! It does make me wonder if he had a hand in building the institute itself though…hmmm… But after that lore drop, we get to the creepiest part of the episode. I’ll just say it: No, I do not know who is in the tunnels, my best guess is Gertrude’s killer but I don’t think that’s saying much. I also do not know what the wine bottle means, (although I literally just made a post about a wine bottle on a street that felt like the beginning of a TMA statement? That’s really weird?!) nor do I know who or what drew that arrow, or told Jon to leave. All I know is that, yes, this heavily reminds me of Episode 15. Like, not just this scene, but honestly the episode as a whole. This makes me think that maybe the thing in the tunnels is the same force behind Lost Johns’ Cave, and combine that with the fact I suspect said force to be the same as the darkness from Episodes 9 and 25, and that Jon’s torch apparently started to dim strangely quickly…I just feel like The People’s Church of The Divine Host might have some relevance here. Either way, this just makes me more and more concerned for the institute staff. It just goes to show that they have gone…well, too deep, and that even if he runs out of those tunnels, Jon is not truly safe from, say it with me everyone…✨the horrors✨. Oh Jane Prentiss’ Ashes, we’re really in for it now.
But of course, that’s not all, as the episode ends with a secret supplemental from Jon! …The fact that exists at all just makes me more concerned for his paranoia and mental health. So you know how I said I’d love it if Season 2 was a murder mystery? Well…be careful what you wish for I guess. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very excited by the plot point but…Jon can you please just calm down you’re scaring me. It’s interesting that he too is most suspicious of Elias though. I’m still very suspicious of him as well but..I don’t know, usually when a show tries to steer you in one direction like this, it ends up going the other way, so this oddly makes me like…2% less suspicious of Elias, simply because I feel like the show’s trying to bamboozle me. As for the other potential suspects, well, Sasha would be an interesting choice given that she’s…you know…although oddly enough I doubt Not!Sasha did it, since she probably wouldn’t have been at the institute when Gertrude was murdered. So congratulations Not!Sasha, I’m not suspicious of you for once! There’s a decent enough possibility for the killer to be Tim, but I’d genuinely be STUNNED if it was Martin. Like, it could be an excellent twist if done right but WOW. That would be genuinely insane. Overall I’m still most suspicious of Elias by a wide margin, but much like Jon, I’m keeping my suspects open just in case. The last thing I have to mention here is how this supplemental made me think about how…me as the listener fits into this. In canon, I feel like I’m supposed to be either Jon’s successor, his killer, some random shmuck who just came across the tapes, and MAYBE whoever Jon feels like is watching him although that seems a bit more unlikely. Anyways, that’s a wrap on this episode! In conclusion, it was a good episode, and I’m as scared as I’ve ever been, but hey, I’m also excited to listen to the rest of the season and see where the mysteries go! (Also ALEX READING THE END BIT? HELLO?! That’s the scariest part of the episode.)
Sorry if this one was also a bit incoherent (is this like a curse with Robert Smirke statements or something), like I said, this one kind of feels like one meant to ease you back in, so I don’t have too many coherent thoughts on the reveals of the episode just…a lot of emotions. I’m sure that’ll change as the season progresses though. Although, I did have one theory brewing in my head, it doesn’t really connect to anything in this episode that I’m aware of but I just thought I’d put it here. So, I was thinking about some of the cults from Season 1, namely The People’s Church of The Divine Host and the heat-based cult. I’ve assumed that they’re completely separate, since they seem to serve separate powers, but in retrospect, they actually had some very notable things in common, outside of just…being creepy cults. Namely, they both seem to be in opposition to both Gertrude Robinson and Gerard Keay. The PCOTDH performed a ritual on the supposed date of Gertrude’s death, while the heat cult contained pictures of her in their creepy bottles. Meanwhile, Gerard straight up kills the person who seeks to be a member of the heat cult, and his symbol seems to be an eye, while The PCOTDH has a closed eye as their symbol. So either these two groups are intrinsically linked at the hip, maybe even different sects of one larger cult, or Gertrude and Gerard just both had knacks for pissing cults off. Eh, food for thought.
- Episode 42, Grifter’s Bone 🎹
Statement of Jennifer Ling, regarding a live musical performance she attended in Soho.
This is literally just Killer Track from Nightmare Time lmao. I mean not really, but like…come on, they’re about songs that kill people, and also both contain instances of songs that cannot be remembered. This episode was MADE to fuel my hyperfixations. Also, fun fact, I recall seeing a post about tma before I started listening, where it mentioned how some episodes are deep looks into trauma while others are about a song so shit that it kills people. That post was actually one of the first things that got me to consider listening, so it’s cool to have finally come across that same episode! Although granted, I don’t think that’s the most accurate description, but I’ll get to that soon. Anyways, even if I didn’t find the episode super scary until the end, I’m more than willing to excuse it simply due to how creative it is. I know I just compared it to another piece of media, but all things considered I think this is a very fun one conceptually. Music journalism of all things isn’t something you’d expect to get tackled in tma, but it surprisingly worked really well. I actually quite liked Jennifer as the protagonist here, while she’s not nearly as shaken by the events as someone like the guy from Episode 37, I still got this…uneasy feeling from Jon’s narration, like from the beginning, you could tell something bad happened without it being TOO obvious. And…learning what happened to her after she gave her statement…yeah I can see why she’d be on edge! I thought Grifter’s Bone itself was really creepy and I do hope we learn more about them going forward, like, yeah, this was just a fun, kind of creepy, and very creative episode that I had a good time with. But then the post-statement investigation is revealed and…wow. Look, I think the jokes about the music being so shitty it kills people are funny, there’s some genuine gold about that in the YouTube comments. I mean hell, it’s a joke in-universe! But, part of me thinks that’s doing a disservice to what the episode is actually about. Because by the end, we see that it’s about a song so good that it causes people to harm and/or kill each other. I think there’s a good few ways you could interpret the meaning of this, but I personally see it as a metaphor for toxic fandom behavior. Look, I’ve BEEN in music fandoms before, I can say with certainty that this works as a metaphor. But, who knows? I’d love to hear other people’s takes on this as I think it can be seen in multiple ways. On top of that, there’s a few weird things about the circumstances i which Grifter’s Bone plays. Like, when it was just Alfred playing, Lee had no memory of the concert, and also survived. But when the entire band played, Jennifer remembered the concert, even if she wasn’t in the venue, and for some reason it triggered a…gathering between ghosts that killed each other again? I don’t know, there’s just some strange things going on here, and while it’s hard to really find anything that Grifter’s Bone might connect to right now, I hope some connections and answers pop up later. (Well, in retrospect, they do actually kind of remind me of The Piper from Episode 7, since that thing also played music and drove someone to bloodlust, but granted, the themes between the two episodes seem to be pretty different so I don’t know if that actually means anything.) However, one connection I found interesting was the presence of the crystal shop, which I really can’t see being anything other than the same one Jane was working at. This, along with the description of his expression, leads me to believe that the man who tried to warn Jennifer was the “Oliver” who Jane saw. And…I will concede that this could make the theory of him being Antonio Blake more plausible. Antonio is obviously important, and assuming this guy is Oliver, then he’s important as well. Also, someone in the comments pointed out that maybe he foresaw Jennifer’s death, which…yeah, I can see that! I still think I need more time and evidence before I’m fully sold on this theory but…I won’t deny it’s plausible.
So yeah, I had a really good time with this episode! Creative concept, fun execution, it’s up there with Anatomy Class as being…as “chill” as a an episode of tma can be. I’d really like to see this develop into a larger plot, but I���m also happy with just this statement (although some answers would be nice). But obviously, there is one thing that I have failed to mention. That is of course…the legendary supplement. Oh. My. God. Martin, you poor poor soul. You know, I had some joking suspicions after listening to one of the bonus shorts with his poetry on it (which I probably should’ve waited for, but like, I needed something to calm down with after the Season 1 finale), but…I actually can’t believe it. Martin has a genuine thing for Jon. And it is adorable, sad, and absolutely hilarious. Adorable in the sense that Martin’s crush is really cute and that I think they could make for a really cute couple, sad in the fact that Jon is the most dense human being in existence and that this is a horror series, so the relationship is probably doomed by default, and hilarious in the sense that Martin is trying his best to get Jon to fall in love with him, and not only does Jon not recognize it, but. But. He- he thinks he’s trying to SABOTAGE HIM. This. THIS PARANOID LITTLE FREAK I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very concerned for him right now, but I’d be lying if I said that this wasn’t the ship dynamic of the century. Damn you Rusty Quill, I can’t solve the overarching mystery now because I’ll be too busy thinking about THIS. (Also I find it both really funny and really sad that Jon’s so suspicious of Martin when Not!Sasha is. RIGHT. THERE. If there’s a single scene where he goes “Sasha is the only person here I can trust” or smth I will lose my mind.) There’s also the matter of his note which could mean…honestly anything. All it tells us is that Martin is lying about something, which could be anything from his crush on Jon to him actually being the killer (although I think the latter is unlikely since this is only the second episode of Season 2), and that his mother probably has…some sort of relevance. It could mean a lot of things but for now I’ll just put a pin in it. So yeah, really enjoyable episode with a fantastic supplemental.
Also, we have the million dollar question. What do I think Grifter’s Bone sounds like? Well, that’s easy:
- Episode 43, Section 31 🚔
Statement of Police Constable Basira Hussain, regarding her time investigating strange occurrences as part of Section 31. Statement taken direct from subject.
NOOOOOOO NOT THE COPS!!! WHO LET THEM GET INVOLVED???!!!! Nah I’m just kidding, Basira Hussain was actually pretty cool. So, this episode is quite the interesting one, as despite it technically being another statement, the way it’s structured makes it feel pretty unique. Obviously this episode has some very interesting reveals in terms of the overarching plot, but I feel like it’s purpose here was to establish the importance of the police force, namely Section 31, to the plot of Season 2. I mean, given what we learn about them here, and the fact that they’re in charge of a lot of matters related to Gertrude, I’m not surprised that they seem to be playing a decently significant role here. But uh..anyways let’s start off by talking about Basira. Yeah I like her :). She was chill, and I like how she’s very willing to help Jon out despite the fact that she probably shouldn’t. It’s a nice change of pace considering how I, and I assume many others, are used to cop characters being very stuck-up, and I think her seeming frustration with being sectioned was pretty endearing. I also kind of liked the buddy-cop dynamic she had with Jon as well, and I especially liked how this is really the first instance we have of Jon being very open to what the statement giver is saying. It really shows a lot of growth from his Season 1 denial, even if it comes at the cost of him going insane in this season. I’ll touch more on her deal with Jon at the end, but for now I’ll talk a bit about the experiences she describes. Obviously, the experience with the burning building was by far the most interesting one. I’ll start off by saying that as creepy as his death was, the sectioned officer Basira was working with has it coming. That’s what you get for being racist! Or misogynistic…Or, generally prejudice- Look. What I’m saying is that he probably deserved his fate. But who cares about that because OH MY GOD EPISODE 12. Obviously the episode has come back in multiple ways via stuff like Gerard and The Cult of Asag, but finally getting some confirmation on who the other burnt guy was is really cool! Diego Molina is quite the enigma, and the episode really got me thinking about his abilities, the book in red leather (which I struggle to see being anything other than another Leitner, although I have to question what Jon mean’s when he said he had a suspicion as to where Diego got the book. Like it was obviously in Jurgen’s library at some point but that doesn’t mean he got it directly from there. Maybe I missed something, IDK), and generally what the deal with The Cult of Asag is. Also, it seems Diego got burned and later killed by Gerard after the events of this episode, which makes me wonder about how he got burned there, since he was completely fine here. And also he has a zippo lighter, like Gerard and Jon? What does that mean? Is it the same as Gerard’s? But…his had an eye symbol, not a flame or whatever. I don’t know, I have a lot of questions regarding this guy and the cult he’s a part of. but I’ll just have to wait and see what pops up as time goes on.
Now, Basira’s second encounter with the paranormal doesn’t have as much going on, but I still find it very curious. The person she finds in the room is pretty interesting. The thing that really stuck out to me was that his house was in complete darkness. Given how this episode definitely deals with The Cult of Asag, I have to wonder if this is supposed to hint towards involvement from The People’s Church of The Divine Host. Someone in the YouTube comments also pointed out that the guy could’ve been one of the grim reaper people from Episode 29. I won’t deny the possibility, given the domino cases, attempt at suicide, and the fact that he was still alive after death, but I’ll keep other possibilities in mind as well just in case. However, something that obviously stuck out to me here was the presence of Daisy, Basira’s partner during this incident. She mentions having an encounter with vampires, and while Basira brushes it off as a joke…come on, there’s no way this doesn’t mean anything. And I actually have a small theory regarding this. You see, from Episode 36, we obviously know that Trevor Herbert, the vampire killer himself, is a relatively important character. We also know that he has a currently unnamed woman as his companion, so I’m wondering if that woman might be Daisy. This would probably mean that they departed from each other’s company at some point but…I just can’t shake the feeling that this is a possibility. The only potential hole I can see in this theory is that the woman had a scar on her eye, which seems like a pretty notable detail that would be weird for Basira to leave out, but it’s equally possible that she just didn’t find it worth mentioning. Either way, I am certainly interested by that line about vampires. One other line here that stood out to me was Basira’s mention of a spooky clown doll, which HAS to be a reference to Episode 24. We know that “weird” incidents are usually dealt with by Section 31, and that Section 31, is a rather small team, so it’s possible that Basira has been involved in police investigations of multiple statement, but I still felt it was a interesting thing to quote.
So overall, this was a pretty good episode. It’s not an all-time favorite for me if I’m being honest, but it set up some very interesting potential plot threads, I really liked Basira, and I thought it was cool to get a first look at what I assume will be a good amount of involvement from the police in the future. But of course…we have that supplemental. Oh thank fucking god we didn’t have to wait too long to get Gertrude’s tapes. Basira, you’re an absolute G, I hope to see more of these come through in the future (although I also hope she doesn’t get fired in the process lmao). I’m…probably not prepared for whatever will be on these tapes going forward but, hey! Let’s just appreciate the fact that we’re getting them at all! I…am getting more and more concerned for Jon though. Like, sweetheart, you REALLY need to lie down for a bit, I know it’s rich coming from me, but this constant search for the truth is going to bite you in the ass if you keep on going any further. You could also use some more help from Martin as well…no reason… Anyways, so far the season is going great, only three episodes in and it already feels like it’s going places. (I would like an update on Tim though, and…”Sasha”….ehhhhhh…)
Supplemental: “Martin just kissed me, I THINK THERE WAS POISON IN HIS MOUTH” - Jon, probably.
- Episode 44, Tightrope 🎪
Case 9790302. Yuri Utkin. Incident occurred in the village of Algosovo, Central Russia, November 1952.
WOOOOOOOOO GERTRUDE!!!! FINALLY we get to hear her, and while she’s still obviously shrouded in mystery, I was very satisfied with what we got of her. Firstly, I absolutely love the fact that she’s voiced by Jonny Sims’ mother, I always find it really funny whenever the roles of characters reflect the relationship between the actors, so I just though that was really cool. And she did a great job in the role, honestly I felt like I was being read a bedtime story. Specifically a fucked up German bedtime story (or I guess Russian…technically…). Honestly she’s pretty in line with how I imagined her, although I kind of thought she’d be a lot more cold when she comes off as just…pretty chill in reality, at least in comparison to Jon. And that’s probably the element of her character that interests me the most, outside of what she was doing and what really happened to her. Compared to Jon, who is frantically searching for the truth with very little answers, Gertrude seems to be much more aware of what’s really going on. She’s SO familiar with The Other Circus that she’s able to read this extremely creepy story and be like “wow this guy got lucky.” Like…WHAT HAS THIS WOMAN SEEN?! Obviously there could’ve been a period in time where she, like Jon, was in a frenzied state looking for answers, but in the context of what we’re seeing, it provides for an interesting contrast between her and Jon that I really like. But it raises SO many questions. Like, what exactly would it take for Gertrude to react extremely to a statement when she’s this unbothered by what she’s reading? How much did she know? I mean, I think it would be safe to assume she died because she knew too much, but like…how many weirdos and cults did she piss off in the process? I’m really anticipating where they might go with her in the future, as there’s a lot of interesting routes they could take. But outside of our first look at Gertrude, we obviously have the statement itself, and FUCK YEAH IT’S THE OTHER CIRCUS!!! Even though it’s only shown up in a couple of episodes prior to this one, this circus has actually been one of the most intriguing plot threads for me personally. I’m just a sucker for creepy carnivals, so finally getting an episode with a big focus on it makes me very happy. Ultimately this episode confirms my suspicions that this thing is a cult, because like…come on. There’s no way it isn’t. However, I still don’t really know what power they might serve, and the ringmaster Gregor Orsinov remains shrouded in mystery. As do…ALL of the cult leaders now that I think about it. We really only know the names of two of them, those being Gregor and Maxwell Rayner, but that’s about it. Regardless, I do feel like this episode gave a better idea of what The Other Circus wishes to accomplish, or at least what their deal is. The tiger, the freaks, the people in the audience, and…maybe the Ivan we see on the tightrope (I haven’t made my mind up on that one), are all implied to be not entirely…real, or as Yuri says, impossible. I think they’re basically artificial copies of real people and animals, but with some minor differences like glassy eyes or impossible anatomy, hence why it’s called “Another Circus”. For what purpose other than creeping people out, I have no idea, but I feel like that’s what’s going on here. As for the bag…well, I think it probably did contain Ivan but…I don’t really know what’s up with it, although it did kind of remind me of Episode 5 with the trash bags, and I think that episode connects to Episode 34, and…now that I think about it, the slightly off people and animals here are kind of like the anatomy students. Yeah I think I’m going in insane circles now! Also I guess I haven’t really talked about the story here, truth be told it’s not the most interesting element of the episode but uh…yeah I liked it as always, I feel pretty bad for Yuri and Ivan. God, imagine having severe mental trauma as the best case scenario simply because Gregor and his circus are just that dangerous, that’s messed up!
Well, outside of all of that, I obviously have some connections to discuss, so what about those? Well, obviously this one connects to Episode 24 more than any other, most notably via the calliope organ. So…yeah, I guess Nikolai Denikin wasn’t that good of a person! My initial assumption was that he caught onto whatever messed up things The Other Circus wished to achieve, and then quit and hid the calliope (…I miss Sasha) to stop them. Now that could still be the case, but this episode suggests that Nikolai was aware of The Other Circus’ horrific tendencies, and gave them a lot of power, meaning that he’s not entirely without a bad streak, and very well could’ve still been affiliated with them even after he “left” in the 1970s. Secondly, we have the clown in purple and white with polka dots which…almost perfectly matched the description of the doll from Episode 24. From that episode, it seems that doll was capable of turning other people into dolls…but does this episode signify that the clown doll was also originally a person. Maybe they sacrificed themselves in order to turn other people into dolls, or they were turned into a doll as punishment and the curse goes to other people whenever the calliope plays…I don’t know but it’s suspicious, especially since Basira Hussain seemingly mentioned the doll in the previous episode. But most interesting to me is the presence of who it seems very likely are our beloveds, Breekon and Hope. This is the first time we’ve seen them affiliated with a faction other than their own (although I do think they connect to Mikaele Salesa but that’s a different topic), which is very interesting. I already suspected they were the guys who stole the calliope in Episode 24, (looking back they were also probably the “two strong men” in the picture Jon described) and I believe that even more now. However, this episode gave me two ideas as to why they might have stolen the calliope in the first place. The first idea is dictated by the idea that Nikolai Denikin was no longer affiliated with The Other Circus. If that were the case, then I believe that Breekon and Hope are still affiliated with The Other Circus, and tried to steal the calliope back, but then it ended up in the institute’s artifact storage through unknown means. More likely though, I think that Nikolai was still affiliated with The Other Circus, and Breekon and Hope left, explaining why they are shown with their own company in modern day. As for what reasons, I don’t know, but I believe that it gave them enough motivation to steal the calliope as revenge, and then deliver it to the institute. Either way, their presence here is very interesting, and it makes me wonder if there’s any connection between The Other Circus, and all of the items that Breekon and Hope have delivered. Specifically the table because…well, it’s implied there were fake people in the audience and…you know… How many episodes do you think it’ll take for my brain to explode now?
Overall this was a VERY intriguing episode, getting a first look at Gertrude and more on what is one of the most intriguing plot points so far for me was very satisfying, and I’m sure I’ll be spending a lot more time mulling this over. As for the supplemental…well that is certainly concerning. I feel like they want me to be suspicious of Martin due to that note, and I am to an extent but…this has Not!Sasha written all over it. I mean, it’s implied she already stole a few tapes so I wouldn’t be surprised if she was snooping around. (The irony of one of the tapes she stole being Episode 24’s as well, lmao.) Well…that’s about it. All in all I’m very intrigued, I hope Jon is able to take care of his supplemental and..uh…I don’t really know how to end this part so EPISODE 45!!!!!!
- Episode 45, Blood Bag 💉
Statement of Thomas Neill, regarding his experiences working in malarial research during the spring of 2010.
EW EW EW EW ICKY BLEGH. I…do not do well with mosquitoes. Worms I can handle, like, I can relate to that, but mosquitoes? No. Devil spawn. Even worse when they spread malaria. So suffice to say, considering that this IS a horror podcast, this episode did a pretty good job! Ultimately some of the plot details here are a little bit vague, and the episode itself doesn’t have as much to unpack as some of the others so far, but I’ll discuss what I can regardless. Firstly, I do really like the general setting of this statement. I’ve always found lab accidents to be very scary if done effectively, what with how fragile and dangerous that kind of environment can be. I also thought they handled it really well with the slow build of paranormal activity, up to the…extremely gruesome ending. Like, YIKES. Honestly I feel really bad for Neil, poor guy was just being silly in the workplace and needed some cash, yet he got SO screwed over. Why am I surprised though, reality just seems like a massive bitch in tma, maybe even more so than in our timeline! But hey, at least there was another theatre kid Jon moment when Thomas was describing Neil’s death, so that’s nice! Neil’s death also did kind of remind me of just…everything Jane, what with a whole bunch of creepy crawlies enveloping him, although worms aren’t really traditional insects so I don’t know if those similarities mean anything, especially since this episode lacks the theme of toxic love that was extremely present with The Flesh Hive. (Although there was fire extinguishers involved…hm…) Speaking of that though, I want to talk a bit about the syringe. I think the implication here was that the mosquitoes wished harm on Neil due to his attempts to work against them, which is…an absolutely horrific thought. Those things are already little assholes, but the idea of them having a PERSONAL GRUDGE…oh no no no no no. Anyways, I think the syringe protected him from them, so when he lost it, they went full ham, infecting the haemoglobish with a bajillion diseases, and later killing him. (And also Thomas later on, what a bunch of assholes!) But this idea, the concept of an insect ecosystem being sentient enough to wish harm on a human out of a personal grudge…yeah it’s very adjacent to The Flesh Hive. And considering that the syringe was last seen with someone as important as Mikaele Salesa, I feel that it might be important if the institute ever has to deal with something flesh hive-adjacent once again. Oh yeah, Mikaele was here too. Kind of surprising considering it hasn’t been that long since he last showed up in a statement. Ultimately this statement didn’t really tell us that much more about him, he just continues to be a mysterious guy who’s probably bad, but maybe not as bad as some other people. And while there are rumors of his death…I highly doubt he’s really gone. Either way, I’m interested to see where they go with him in the future. (Also Jon just starting his closing thoughts with “yeah I hate mosquitoes too”…he’s real for that honestly.) Um…what else? Well, I find a few small details curious. Firstly, the rising heat in the lab is VERY reminiscent of a lot of previous statements, such as Episode 12, 37, and the Hill Top Road cases. To me it signifies some sort of connection to The Cult of Asag, although I have no idea what said connection could be. A lot of people also pointed out that the only blood type mentioned so far in the entire series is 0-, which is kind of curious, although once again, I don’t what that might mean. And finally, we have the reveal that Thomas started working at King’s College, the same place where Dr. Lionel Elliot taught in Episode 34. Overall, the connection are pretty vague here and don’t reveal all that much new, so either this episode is setting up stuff that hasn’t shown up yet, or it’s less relevant than I think. But as always, I still enjoyed it! Neil’s death will probably give me nightmares but who cares? Still a very good episode!
So…the supplemental. You know, if I worked in the archives, I would find Mikaele, get the syringe, and provided it’s not some kind of cursed talisman, I’d use it to sedate Jon because SWEETHEART YOU NEED TO LIE DOWN. On one hand, seeing Jon slowly go insane has been very entertaining, on the other hand, it makes me terrified for literally everyone. This isn’t even a visual show and yet I can still clearly see him shaking violently and eating things from off the ground. I mean, just look at him. Martin has a crush on him and yet Jon thinks he’s secretly plotting a murder. (Also what a sweetheart he is giving his boss/crush tea during his moments of insane paranoia, very glad to hear him again.) “Sasha” is, as far as I know, the most objectively suspicious person in the archives, and yet she is the only one Jon hasn’t batted an eye at yet. And Tim…Jon’s LITERALLY just stalking him?! No?! I mean, I guess I’m also a little curious as to why he’s working at the institute despite no signs of prior interest in the paranormal but like…I wouldn’t go as far as to start taking pictures of his fucking house! (Although how come Martin knows what his house looks like…hm…) Also HOW could you even think that Tim “Joe Spooky” Stoker is capable of murder?! He would never! (…please let me be right when I say that) …Look, I know I’m the one writing insane analyses of this podcast, and I’m probably a massive hypocrite saying this since I am LITERALLY setting up a cork-board in my room for connecting the dots, but that doesn’t make Jon any more sane, okay? Maybe…maybe we should both just lie down…despite the truth being just out of reach...I’ll listen to Episode 46 tomorrow…uuugghhh…
- Episode 46, Literary Heights ⛈️
Statement of Herbert Knox, regarding a repeat customer to his bookshop in Chichester.
Stupid idiot mother fucking god damn fool Jurgen Leitner is lucky that this episode was so fantastic, or else his sad frail old man twig bones would’ve simply flaked apart under my epic huge meat fist. (Look, I have to quote it SOMEWHERE ok?) Anyways, this episode was…absolutely phenomenal? Like, I’ve really been enjoying the season so far, but this episode coming out of nowhere and worming it’s way into…I don’t know, at least my top six episodes, is kind of insane. There’s obviously quite a bit to unpack here, so I guess I’ll start with just a few basic observations. Firstly, this episode opens with one of the best examples of theatre kid Jon so far. Like, the shift in his voice is absolutely hilarious. Secondly, and I feel like I need to address this, there has a been a metric fuck-tonne of Micheals in the show so far, so being able to refer to one as Mike is an absolute blessing. …I have a theory surrounding that though, but I’ll get to it in a minute. But I guess that works as a good segue into the main topic of interest here, Mike Crew. Truth be told, as good as it is, I don’t have much more to say about the episode on its own, as I think most of the intrigue comes from the implications for the overarching narrative it brings, although just to be clear, I’ll say that the episode has a fantastic story to tell on its own. Anyways, enough preamble, MIKE CREW! It’s genuinely such a treat to get a better look at just…what this guy is even like. I’ve known that he’s important for a while, but that’s only because he was mentioned in two separate statements, and I never knew WHY he was important, but this episode comes with some really interesting reveals. Firstly, I have to say that this guy is absolutely one of my favorite characters from the statements so far. His whole vibe is just so intriguing, and you get the sense that he has a better understanding of ✨the horrors✨than most other characters so far, but that he’s also terrified by what he’s witnessed. Anyways, I think the most interesting element of his character is how he’s clearly…just a very haunted man. This episode definitely suggests that him getting struck by lightning as a child was a paranormal experience that…connected him to something. I think it would be cool if we maybe got a statement from him later on that talked about that more, but for now, it’s just very interesting to see those powers over storms and electricity he seems to possess, willingly or not. It also seems like maybe he was studying Leitners and other books on demonology in order to get a grip on whatever was haunting him, with The Boneturner’s Tale obviously being one of them. Oh yeah, there was also some interesting stuff about Jurgen Leitner here. I do have to wonder if all of those strange deaths that occurred in the old book trade were caused by either him or his fucked up books, although he supposedly went into hiding in 1994 so I’m not entirely sure what that means. I’ve also started to notice how the Leitners…compel people. Like, Dominic Swain just…decided to go on a wild goose chase in order to learn more about Ex Altiora, Sebastian Adekoya was adamant on getting The Boneturner’s Tale despite knowing that it was bad news, Jared Hopworth was lured in by the same book despite clearly not being much of a reader, and now we have both Mike Crew and Herbert Knox fighting desperately for Ex Altiora. It’s…just very odd how much these books draw people in. And I think this is another good segue into talking about the glorious return of Ex Altiora.
Firstly, I nearly screamed at the name drop, like oh my god that was so exciting. Secondly, it’s really cool to finally learn what the story in the book even was. If it wasn’t for the fact that I’d end up in a perilous situation if I did so, and that I don’t know Latin, I’d honestly read it, it sounds pretty cool. Either way, Mike’s possession of it is very interesting to me. Obviously it seems like it’s because of him that the Lichtenburg Figure showed up in the book, meaning that it’s unlikely that Mary Keay was trying to trigger Dominic’s childhood trauma, I guess. It’s also very curious how Mike somehow knew how to wield its power correctly from the looks of things, and I also have to wonder why it ended up in some random bookstore when it seemed to be so important to him. But I think the most interesting thing about it is how it connects to whatever was haunting Mike. Jon suggests that he was trying to use it as a ward, which I do agree with, but I wonder if it backfired in the end. Maybe Mike thought that its raw power could protect him, but in reality, the book was connected to the force pursuing him without his knowledge. I mean, Ex Altiora causes vertigo and is about a high mountaintop village being terrorized by a vast and unknowable massive monster, and Mike is connected to the sky, so I think it adds up in the end. (Also, if I didn’t already think so, I’m absolutely certain that the events of this and Episode 4 connect to the ones of Episode 21, meaning that yes, the fucking sky is an eldritch horror in this timeline, and chances are Ex Altiora and the skydiver guy are harbingers of it. What does this even mean for tma’s world structure, holy shit.) Anyways, I think this theory also works because of Mike’s fate. I mean, he says “I am yours” (which is very similar to Edwin Burroughs saying “I am not for you, I am marked btw), and then throws himself out of a window. I feel like in the end he submitted himself to the forces chasing him after Ex Altiora ironically drew him in further. Said force might also be called “Vertigo” or “The Vast” based on what he says during his chants. (Also I don’t really have any theories as to how the bell tower was opened up just so you know.) As for Mike’s fate, well…I honestly don’t really know, although I think the lack of a body and his clear significance to the plot mean that he’s not…entirely dead. Maybe the Lichtenburg Figure is supposed to suggest that he’s inside Ex Altiora? Maybe…the sky ate him? I can’t quite tell yet, but I’m sure this isn’t the last I’ll hear of him, he just seems too significant (and just…way too cool) to write off here. Although…I do have one more theory about this episode, one that I’d like to proclaim my crack theory (as if my other ones already aren’t cracked). Oh boy here we go…
So I mentioned that there’s a lot of Micheals in this show, so much so that from what little I’ve seen it’s a meme in the fandom. I mean, it makes decent sense, Micheal is an extremely common name after all…but what if this goes deeper. What if every major Micheal in this podcast actually has direct connections to each other? So far we have three Micheals that seem to hold plot relevance (please, PLEASE let it stay that way.) They are Mike Crew, obviously, Gerard’s grandfather Micheal Keay, and the mysterious “Micheal” that Sasha meant, who is presumably the person that was pursuing Ivo Lensik’s father. Keep in mind the word PURSUING. Because…you remember how bony-hand Micheal appeared all weird and distorted in the window of Sasha’s apartment building. Well, it’s probably just my imagination, but…it reminds me a hell of a lot of the thing chasing Mike. On top of that, I originally doubted that bony-hand Micheal was the same person as Mike Crew due to the lack of a Lichtenburg Figure on his body (although Mike does actually seem to be capable of hiding it based on Herbert’s description of him, but said description is notably different from that of Sasha’s Micheal anyways), but I did throw out the possibility of him actually being Micheal Keay. This could also explain why he had all of those strange attributes, as Mary Keay seemingly learned how to live beyond the grave, yet she came with a number of visual differences from when she was, like, actually alive, so maybe something similar happened to her father. (and then maybe Gerard…please…please let my favorite MCR reject guy be alive…) So, here’s the basic premise of my theory. Micheal Keay found some sort of way to live after death, becoming the strange distorted Micheal that Sasha saw. This new form of Micheal Keay would form a connection to fractals, terrorizing Ivo Lensik’s father, and also a connection to the sky/vertigo/the vast/whatever you want to call it, and then start terrorizing Mike Crew. (I mean, the fractals give off the same vibes as the Lichtenburg Figure right? RIGHT?!) And then, and I know this is a huge reach but like I said, it’s a crack theory, Mike was absorbed by the being that was pursuing him. Micheal Keay is alive, and absorbing people, one of whom just happens to have his name. If Ivo’s dad was named Micheal Lensik I might just go insane. Now, do I expect this theory to be true. Oh god no! Like I said, this is absolute crack, but I think it would be very funny if every Micheal in this podcast is actually just the same person. There’s a lot of other mysteries surrounding these guys, and I’m sure I’ll be satisfied with whatever they pull off.
So that’s Episode 46. Overall this was a phenomenal episode, it’s absolutely my favorite of Season 2 so far and at the very least one of my favorites in the entire podcast so far. It’s given me so many things to think about and I’m really excited to see where they go with the plot surrounding Mike in the future. As for the supplemental, well…you know what, Brian David Gilbert- I mean Jon (yes I finally made that connection) has every right to be concerned about this one. It is admittedly a little bit unnerving that there’s another person exploring the tunnels, my best guess is it’s Not!Sasha because…well, she’s just suspicious by nature, but it could easily be Martin, Tim, and especially Elias as well. Or worse…whatever’s down there is trying to get out. There’s also the matter of the spiders which is…very interesting. Episode 32 already separated the spiders from The Flesh Hive, but I didn’t think they would go as far as to kill the remaining worms. In fact, I suspected they were in some form of collaboration, since Jon smashing that one spider lead to the infestation of worms, and the worms were present in Episode 16. But no, they’re actively killing the worms. Maybe as like…a punishment for failure or something? I really don’t know what the deal with the spiders is, but it’s certainly interesting. Anyways, great episode, can’t wait to see what comes next.
Oh, one last thing. I have this copy of Dracula in my house, and it really reminds me of Ex Altiora. Like this is what I imagine it looking like. (Also STOKER? As in TIM STOKER? Ok I’ll stop.)
- Episode 47, The New Door 🚪
Statement of Helen Richardson, regarding a new door in the house she was selling. Statement taken direct from subject.
What what what what what what what what what what what what what in the everlasting FUCK?! I don’t…what do you MEAN? RIGHT AFTER MY FUCKING MICHEAL CRACKPOT THEORY YOU GIVE ME THIS?! I CAN’T…WHAT…THERE’S SO MUCH GOING ON I LITERALLY CANNOT HANDLE THIS UAAAGGGGHHHHHHHH. Ok…calm down calm down calm down calm down just CALM. THE FUCK. DOWN. You can do this. You are a TUMBLR. ENBY. You can coherently summarize this episode. Right? …right? Oh no….
Ok so…let’s just start from the top with the things that are easy to summarize. Firstly, this is a statement recorded live from subject, so we obviously need to talk about Helen Richardson. Oh god….what a poor soul. I REALLY feel for her, compared to every other statement giver, at least the ones who gave their statements live, she was absolutely the most distraught by her experiences. Her VA did a fantastic job portraying her fright, I liked how she was frantically drawing a map at the beginning, and overall it’s just really not hard to feel for her, especially given her…fate, but we’ll get to that later. It was also extremely gratifying to finally have an instance where Jon fully believes the person he’s talking to, he was decent with Lionel and Basira, as well as his coworkers, but after his interactions with Naomi and Melanie, seeing him fully believe Helen was honestly really nice, just shows how much he’s developed since most of Season 1…although it has come with him being extremely traumatized and erratic but hey! It’s still cool that he was genuinely trying to help Helen out, because if this was Season 1 he would have not believed her. Anyways, what about her actual statement? Well…that’s absolutely terrifying. Like, I am never going to be able to look at doors the same way ever again, am I? This is already a terrifying experience on its own, but the fact that Helen is an ESTATE AGENT of all things makes this so much worse, like you could just tell that this was her personal hell. And then we have the backrooms themselves which-yeah I’m going to call the corridors the backrooms until further notice because god damnit sometimes you just need to be annoying. Anyways, everything about that place(?) makes me uncomfortable. Firstly, the opening of the door reminded me a little bit of the coffin from Episode 2, and the corridors especially reminded me of Episode 30 with the slaughter house. But outside of those interesting yet admittedly tangential connections, there’s so many terrifying aspects of the backrooms that are just so extremely terrifying in their own right. The way the door just shows up out of nowhere and lures you in, the way Helen’s face looked like it had been crying for hours when she looked in the mirror, the repeated paintings, the temperatures that don’t make sense, Micheal just…lurking there waiting to kill her, how she ended up somewhere entirely new when she finally “escaped”, and of course, the fact that it functions like a Cthulhu city with how it just DOESN’T. MAKE. SENSE. That seems to be the main theme here, just…everything not adding up, confusing people, nearly making them go insane, that is the nature of these corridors, and Micheal himself. And you know what, I think it’s about time we talk about the end of the episode. While the statement is fantastically written and viscerally terrifying, it is overall very short, and I’d say the true meat of the episode comes from the ending. Because Oh. My. God. I have some thoughts.
I’m just going to start off by saying that the drawn-out door noises that played when Helen left initially just came as a “haha funny trauma noise” moment from Rusty Quill, and nothing more. …Oh how naive I once was. Anyways, before I talk about tall blonde and Handsome, I guess I should address the glorious(?) return of Not!Sasha! …Oh no. I don’t know if it’s more or less unnerving that she’s actually speaking like a somewhat normal person now. That…that is very very bad. But she still sounds so noticeably different from the real Sasha, so much colder…I…I really do not like her! The way that she avoids re-recording Sasha’s statement because she doesn’t remember the whole thing, and the funky audio distortion that plays in the room it’s…no! No no no no no! Well at least someone seems to know what’s really going on, and that is of course, the man who speaks in hands (woah reference), Micheal…something! Apparently there’s no such thing as a real name so I’m going to assume he just doesn’t have a last name for the time being. Anyways, ever since Episode 26, this guy…thing…door has been haunting me for ages. He’s never quite at the center of my mind, that honor goes to people like the worm wife, god damn fool book-collecting dust-eating rat old bastard shithead idiot avatar of the whore, my goth son, and Jon and Martin but only if they are holding hands. But still, the way he was so enigmatic with his motivations, where he stood morality wise, his generally creepy vibe that makes me imagine him as a guy that’s always smiling, his big-ass hands, and the sense that he was so above everything and everyone in this entire story, it always kept me terrified and intrigued. And now that we’ve finally met him…yeah, he absolutely lived up to the hype. I’m sorry Jane, but I think I’ve found a new obsession. I want this thing and his gender carnally. His VA does such a phenomenal job, like I know it’s somewhat filtered but still, the tone and especially the laugh, like HOLY SHIT that is a creepy laugh, it’s all fantastic. And I mean, yeah, it still feels like he’s so above everything else, like everything connects back to him, but also like he’s so vastly beyond everything that it doesn’t connect at all. All of his dialogue is so confusing but also interesting and…well, I guess I should discuss his dialogue, because there is actually quite a lot to unpack from a good amount of his sentences.
So, when Micheal first shows up, the strange pitch that started playing when Not!Sasha entered the room changes, suggesting that Micheal and Not!Sasha are either very different from one another, or very similar. (Also, I’m assuming that the pitch playing when Not!Sasha was around is a different one from Micheal’s, because it sounds really similar to the sound that played when Sasha came across the table in artifact storage.) Either way, his first line “Do you even know they’re lying to you” seems to confirm that Micheal knows the truth about what happened to Sasha, showing how powerful he really is. Now granted, when you consider his naturally maddening personality I doubt he’s going to reveal the truth anytime soon, but it’s worth keeping in mind. (Especially since it’s implied that Elias knows what’s going on, or at least has a hunch so….hm….) Going forward, Micheal refuses to elaborate on how he got in, like the silly king he is, and then says his name is "a real name." This is interesting, as he later contradicts this by saying there's no such thing as a real name. Obviously that last quote ties into themes of inhumanity and lack of identity that seem to follow him, but I'm just going to assume the contradictions are a result of him just, once again, not making sense. I'm sure there's a deeper meaning, I just don't quite know what said deeper meaning is yet. Also I love how when Micheal said he wasn't going to kill Jon, Jon was like "oh :/". Just like...end his suffering I guess. That seems to be another prevalent theme with Micheal. He's not exactly...good, but he's also not really a major antagonistic force...yet, at least. Regardless, it's next that we learn why he's here and...oh...oh no. That's genuinely really off-putting. So yeah, Helen got trapped in the backrooms AGAIN, right after she gave her statement. I...I don't think her chances are all that good if I'm being honest. Damn. DAMN. Also, the part where Jon realizes that the door she left from was never there...that was absolutely chilling. (Although isn't it like...a yellow door? Wouldn't Jon have noticed that? Unless the doors in the archives are already yellow?) But like, imagine if this was a common occurrence. Like, what if Jon just read, I don't know, Jason North's statement from Episode 37, and then immediately got set on fire? Because that's what this feels like. Interestingly, when Jon questions if Micheal is the owner of the backrooms, he responds with "does your hand, in any way, own your stomach?" This seems to suggest that Micheal and the backrooms are one and the same which is...not confusing and terrifying at all! I'll take a bit more about what I think Micheal even is in a second but for now just keep in mind that this information is...very concerning. Also "let her go!" followed by "no :)" was kind of funny. After all that, Micheal...stabs Jon? I mean, that's absolutely not a good thing, but it didn't seem that major or painful all things considered. I'm just going to assume he used his big-ass knife hands to stab Jon in an ultimately non-vital place, because that's what the audio seems to suggest. Now, I'll touch a bit more on Micheal's comments about his own identity in a second, but for now, the last things he says correspond with his motivations. Apparently he helped Sasha learn about The Flesh Hive because he did not want the institute to disappear too early, as it would have "unbalanced the struggle." Jon believes that this implies the existence of a war, and given how I've been speculating that all of the horrors and their servants are at each other's throats...I have to agree. It also suggests that Micheal is a lot more aware of how things are going to pan out in the future than Jon, which is...interesting. Anyways, he then mysteriously vanishes, and Jon ends the recording. It's so serious that we don't even get a supplemental. So with all of this in mind...what are my overall thoughts on Micheal?
Let's just run through everything we know. Micheal is a weird tall blonde guy who has an uncanny laugh and massive hands. He is connected to some sort of maddening pocket dimension that is accessed through a teleporting yellow door. He lured Helen Richardson into there twice, and she is still stuck there. He also probably got rid of Ms. Richardson's actual clients, and he's implied to have some sort of connection to fractals (which admittedly to line up with how maddening he is), meaning there's a good likelihood he was the being chasing down Ivo Lensik's father, and he maybe had some sort of encounter with Jane given how she also mentions fractals. He seems to be antagonistic and has bad intentions, but wants the archival team to stay alive since he views them as important, and believes the loss of the institute would "unbalance the struggle" implying the existence of a war. (my theories are being validated kind of!) Despite this he chooses to stab Jon anyways, and his whole character seems to be built around insanity, doubt of one’s own mind, and contradictions. So…who or what do I think he is? Well, I think our best hints come from the one major piece of dialogue from him I neglected to mention. That being when he calls himself a “what” instead of a “who”, saying that a “who” represents a level of identity he “can’t ever retain”, and how he isn’t used to talking about himself. This all suggests that Micheal is obviously not human, but also can’t function under the human understanding of identity. However, he also says that his identity is something he can’t “retain” rather than “obtain”. This suggests that he might have actually been something more human than what he is now in the past. And…funnily enough, this kind of lines up with the theory about Micheal Keay and Mike Crew I just made. (And, yes, hearing him in this episode immediately after writing that down was indeed very exciting.) I mean, in the slim chance that theory is correct, then..yeah, a guy who lived beyond his natural lifespan and then absorbed another guy, possibly even more people, would not really be all that human. They’d have multiple identities conflicting with each other. But granted, this theory is pretty cracked in my opinion, so maybe something more logical would be…something like the anatomy students! They also kind of had this lack of identity and weird way of speaking, so it could line up very well. Also, they contorted their bones at one point (which is admittedly more similar to The Boneturner’s Tale but still), and you know how they were all functioning under the basic bitch names of different cultures? Well…Micheal is one of the most common names in the west so, who knows? And this might connect back to Not!Sasha! After all, I’ve already made comparisons between her and the anatomy students, and Micheal is aware of her true identity, and he plays a different yet still pretty similar pitch to her when he’s in the room, and the hypnotic pattern on the table might be similar to FRACTALS? Look…I’m basically saying that Micheal is an enigma, and there are a lot of opportunities for what he could be. But what I do know…is that this thing is so far above everyone else like holy shit. He just…I don’t know what it is, I feel like he’s basically god. Everything connects back to Micheal, but it also doesn’t because he couldn’t care less about all this shit. It feels like almost everything has at the very least a small connection to him. I don’t know why I think this it’s JUST. THE. VIBE.
Wow. That was certainly quite the episode. While the statement itself was very short, and while I am confused out of my goddamned mind, this was another phenomenal episode. It should be a crime to put this right after Literary Heights, I’m just saying. It had a really well-written main character, a terrifying scenario, dozens upon dozens of implications, and…Micheal. Just Micheal. There is probably so much that I didn’t even touch on here, but that’s just because my brain is so scrambled trying to figure this all out! Which you know, given the themes of the episode, I feel like that’s by design, and I’m ok with that. I’m very excited to see…whenever and however this all pans out, but for now, I’m going to take a three day-nap. Honk shoo mimimi or whatever the kids say.
I said “Micheal” like…26 times in this section alone…Fuuuuuuuccckkk. Am I really about to ditch the worm wife for the hallway husband? (Update: No, but that’s only because I realized I have two hands.)
- Episode 48, Lost in the Crowd 🧳
Statement of Andrea Nunis, regarding a series of encounters in the streets of Genoa, Italy.
Ok, so thankfully after Micheal’s Marvelous Maze of Madness ft. Micheal, this episode was a bit of a more standard affair, and a lot easier to digest and process. That being said, this one kind of fucked me up! Generally I’m a pretty introverted person, so I’ve found it kind of interesting how the couple of statements where the idea is “character who likes being alone gets karma” are some of the scariest for me personally. Also, I will mention that while there is a common theme between this and Episode 13, I don’t necessarily think they’re connected for a couple of reasons. Firstly is the lack of any tangible signs of The Lukas Family, and secondly is the fact that Naomi’s experience manifested in the form of a wide open field with nearly nothing in it, while Andrea’s was in the form of a crushing crowd. Granted there was a gray sky in the alleyway she went into, which could connect to Naomi’s fog but…eh, I’m not too sure. I personally think the one thing that connects this statement to the rest of the series is Gerard’s presence, which I’ll get to later, but still, those similar themes of one’s own introverted tendencies being turned against them felt worth mentioning. But outside of that recurring theme calling me out a second time, there were quite a few other things that really spooked me. Ethan’s fate was genuinely pretty sad as he seemed like a nice guy, the mentions of heat popping up once again were unnerving as usual, and…the crowd itself. This…this genuinely had me curled up in a ball. I hear people say that you will inevitably find at least one tma episode that feels like it’s targeting you specifically, and while I can’t confirm if this is that episode for me, I…wouldn’t be surprised if it was by the time I’ve finished listening. I have a very bad relationship with crowds so…yeah, this one hit very close to home. The description was…so, so visceral. The blanked out faces, the garbage noise, the constant shoving…I think it put how I subconsciously view crowds into words perfectly, and…yeah, I don’t really have that much more to say about the statement other than it was sad and terrifying for me. Needless to say I don’t think I have any desire to go traveling any time soon lmao. But hey, that all just means it’s doing a damn good job as an episode of a horror podcast!
But outside of the core story, we obviously have the very intriguing return of who is presumably…MY GOTH SON HELL YEAH! GERARD KEAY NATION LET’S FUCKING GO!!! Honestly, considering that he has to live a life of fighting the horrors (and maybe…spreading them…), and also seems to have a fucked up family history, I genuinely hope that he was just on vacation here, whether he’s good or bad or morally gray, I think he deserves a break. Anyways his appearance here is certainly pretty intriguing. Not only is this the first statement he appears in that seems to be completely unrelated to any Leitners, but he also mentions that Andrea had been “marked”. Marked by…what exactly? If I had to guess, I would assume that it would be the entity possessing Hill Top Road. When it fully took over Edwin Burroughs, he said “I am marked”, and on top of that, it also has connections to heat and distorting the world around people until they snap back to reality, both of which are things that Andrea experiences. Honestly, this being seems to pop up all over the place, as it seemingly has some level of ties to The Cult of Asag and maybe even Micheal (though that’s probably just the brain rot talking), and while it definitely seems to be at its strongest on Hill Top Road, it’s implied that it possessed the girl who Edwin Burroughs attempted to perform and exorcism on, so I think it can still appear in other places. Thankfully Andrea seems to have been able to fend it off by thinking of her mother, but that just makes me more intrigued as to how Gerard knew that would help fend off some sort of eldritch heat god. On top of that, this is like…the one statement so far where he shows up and doesn’t do anything that is potentially morally questionable, outside of Pageturner in retrospect I guess, so…yeah, even though this episode was a lot more easy-going than the last one, it’s still given me a lot more to think about. Gerard’s presence and actions, whatever marked Andrea and caused all the bad stuff to happen…it is certainly all very intriguing. Overall, while this isn’t an all time favorite episode for me or anything, I still thought it was a very good one and…genuinely really unsettling for me personally. I’m glad we got to see another look at Gerard and, yeah, there’s not much more to say, just another good episode. Well…there’s not much more to say outside of the supplemental at least.
Oh god fucking damnit Jon. He has clearly not heeded my advice to lie down because what the fuuucckkk. I understand if he’s a little bit shaken after the encounter with Micheal, and obviously watching a real-estate agent basically die without you knowing would probably fuck you up but OH. GOD. Ok well, it’s at the very least a good thing that he finally realized that something’s up with “Sasha” but…did he really need the god of confusion or whatever he is to tell him that?! You are an ARCHIVIST. An ACADEMIC. YOU SHOULD BE BETTER THAN THIS!!! He’s all like “I didn’t suspect her because she’s handled the Prentiss attack better than anyone else”…AS IF THAT’S SOMEHOW NOT CONCERNING?! IF I WAS HIM, I WOULD BE EXTREMELY CREEPED OUT IF SOMONE WAS JUST…CONTINUING AS NORMAL AFTER ALL OF THAT! God, what an absolute dumbass. His density knows no bounds. I love him dearly. Still though…it’s a good thing he caught on at least. And then we have his conversation with Elias, and yeah, that doesn’t do him any favors! Don’t get me wrong, the entire scene is absolutely hilarious, I love how he questions if Dr. Elliott or Micheal were filing complaints, how he chocks up being a fucking stalker to being “worried about Tim and Martin’s mental health” (oh god Martin’s crush is going to end up being so fucked I can already tell), and I love to envision him just standing outside Tim’s house with binoculars in a very easy-to-see location. But..wow! You know, when I said it would be nice to see him grow out of being a skeptic, I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THIS! And then he finishes the supplemental by saying he’s most suspicious of Elias which like…yeah, me too, but I don’t think it’s for the same reasons! If anything, this is the least suspicious Elias has ever been, honestly hai requests of Jon seem pretty reasonable. Well…at least Jon knows who to be the most suspicious of now…I guess. Someone please just knock him out with a frying pan, he really needs it (affectionately)….
- Episode 49, The Butcher’s Window 💪
Statement of Gregory Pryor, regarding his investigations into one Hector Lorado during the summer of 2007.
I’m going to start off by saying that for some reason, on the YouTube upload, the little title card didn’t fully load for this episode. What was up with that? Is “butcher” or “window” some sort of British swear I’m unaware of? Well, regardless….EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW!!!! Yet another episode that makes me feel really uneasy like…wow! I expected some body horror or meat related stuff given the title, but…I did NOT think it was going to go like…that. But outside of my sheer terror, this was another really great episode! It was terrifying, but it also built on some things that I…honestly kind of forgot about, helped fill in some gaps, and also came with some very fun reveals at the end. (oh my god I can’t wait to talk about that) As per usual I’ll start off with just some fun and interesting things about the episode that are easy to talk about. Firstly, I actually really liked Gregory Pryor as a protagonist here. I’ve always kind of had a fondness for the statement givers that are just…honestly pretty big dicks, as I think it adds a good level of realism to the world and helps to shake things up. Honestly the whole vibe of the statement was so gloriously shitty, I just got the sense that no one involved with what happened was particularly likable. I also was a little bit curious about the presence of the Ukrainian mafia here, initially I thought the guys who were bargaining with Hector were supposed to be Breekon and Hope but I think that was just me going insane. If I had to make one minor complaint about this episode, it’s that I felt like it took a while to get into the weird horror aspects. I mean, most episodes don’t get into the real meat until later on, but they usually add intrigue with just…little oddities here and there. For example, Episode 46 doesn’t get truly freaky until later on, but the mentions of the weird smells and lightbulbs whenever Mike entered the room helped in making me feel uneasy, while this episode doesn’t really have much of that. But this is overall a very small and meaningless complaint, because when we do get into the actual horror…oh my god. I have some things to say.
So…yikes. Before we discuss the return of the big beefy bully boy, I’ll just talk a little bit about how FUCKING GRUESOME this part is. Like…I was very disturbed. Gregory hiding in the locker, Hector turning out to be alive, all of the shit that Jared did, the teeth hole underneath the floorboards, the discarded clothes and the body of the original owner that was later found, the general atmosphere of a morgue inside a butcher’s shop, the fact this went on for four fucking hours, and Gregory’s escape attempt which led to…the arm. I initially thought it got chopped off, which would have been terrible already, but then…then we learn that Jared FUCKING RIPPED THE BONE OUT THE SOCKET AND EW EW EW. All of this was tense and horrible and I absolutely loved it. Happy that Gregory got a prosthetic though, even if I just said he was kind of a dick. But anyways uh…Jared Hopworth is back! Honestly I kind of forgot about him, but it is really cool to see that he’s a more prominent recurring antagonist, given that his whereabouts were kind of a loose end at the end of Episode 17. And…I mean, I do not know how to feel about where he’s been. On one hand it’s..good for him(?) that he was able to capitalize his abilities (especially alongside the fucking mafia of all people), but on the other hand, he’s clearly a terrifying meat bone monster thing that is no longer human and is dismembering people in order to morph himself even further. So…yeah, overall I’d say his return isn’t exactly a good thing. I mean, he could change the medical world with these abilities but instead he does this. What an ass! But in all seriousness, I’m absolutely terrified of this man. Just the knowledge that this…thing is STILL out there, still turning people’s bones, is…not exactly a pleasant thought. Like, obviously this is fiction, but I LIVE in England, I still feel like Hulk: Bone Edition could come at me and that’s not a good thing. It’s also interesting that Jared is not seen using The Boneturner’s Tale to…you know, turn bones anymore. I’ve seen someone suggest that maybe he also put the book inside his body, which could definitely be the case, but Mike Crew still seemed to have some sort of connection to Ex Altiora even before he found the book so…I just get the feeling that a single encounter with a Leitner is enough to give someone some weird abilities, although it does make me question where the time might be now…yikes. (Also, if he opened the book at one point, does that mean that Mike could also turn bones? Or did the book specifically choose Jared as if it’s sentient? Honestly I’m just starting to get the vibe that this old-ass bibliophile is responsible for every little bad thing that happens in this podcast.) One other thing about Jared is that now that I think about it, his weird shape is very similar to that of the anatomy students and Micheal. There very well might be some connections there, but I’ll just have to wait and see where they might go. What’s also very curious to me is that…interesting hole that Jared started throwing the bones into. For some reason, it kind of reminded me of that part in Episode 30, where David Laylow was nearly fed to a massive meat grinder. I only say this because Jon straight up says that this statement reminds him of other meat-centric ones, such as Episode 30, but also others like Episode 18, probably. In fact, I wonder if this butcher’s shop is where Toby Carlisle from Episode 18 was getting the meat, maybe he knew Jared. Now, I can’t say how all of these episodes connect perfectly, I just know that there’s a connection. What I do find interesting however is that this episode is home to both meat and bones and…that got me thinking about a theory I had on ✨the horrors✨.
When I wrote about Episode 35, I listed out what I thought the driving forces behind all things spooky in the timeline were, and I mentioned something associated with meat, and something associated with bones as two of them. However, given what we have here, I now think that these “two” are actually the same being. Rather than one being meat and the other being bones, I think there is one singular being with command over bodies in general, and that’s what has been witnessed in every episode with either concept involved so far. This revelation doesn’t really give much, as I still don’t know…what the hell this thing even is, but it has made me want to revisit my list of ✨the horrors✨ with a new coat of paint. So, here it is: Eldritch Gods 2.0!
- The Anglerfish (1, 28)
- Vertigo/The Vast (4, 21, 46)
- The Flesh Hive (6, 22, 26, 32, 36?, 39, 40, 45?)
- The Piper (7, 42?)
- Asag (8, 12, 19, 20, 37, 43, 48?)
- Devouring Darkness (9, 15, 25, 41)
- Eyes (12, 20, 23)
- Isolation (13, 33, 48?)
- Body Horror (14, 17, 18, 30, 35, 49)
- Spiders (16, 32, 38, 48)
- Whatever The Other Circus deals with (24, 44)
- Micheal :-) (8, 26, 47)
And then like…maybe one or two more if the passages Robert Smirke designed do indeed represent ✨the horrors✨. I also guess I should mention the remark I made about these things representing different fears, since I said that one of the reasons I scrapped that theory was because “bones” were just too specific. Now granted, I am not fully reviving this theory, as just because something is scary does not mean it represents fear (even though I still think fear is a core theme of the podcast(, but I will concede it makes the theory…slightly more plausible, but I’m still kind of on the fence about it. So um…yeah! That’s about it for the content of the statement! Overall another great one, a bit of a slow start but it more than made up for it with what happened later on! But of course, I can’t neglect to mention the follow-up and the supplemental because…oh my god this is absolute gold.
“Come on down to The Magnus Institute. We have Jonathan “Ex-theatre kid turned crazed conspiracy theorist” Sims, Martin “pines after his emotionally constipated boss that either hates him or suspects him of murder and steals tape recorders to write poetry” Blackwoood, Sasha “she is totally normal” James, Tim “bisexual icon otherwise known as Joe Spooky” Stoker, and Elias “smokes weed” Bouchard! Simply sell your soul to ✨the horrors✨ of academia, and start your work now!”
So…there’s certainly some interesting things to talk about here. There’s nothing about the statement that really sticks out, or that I haven’t already mentioned, but most of the interest comes from information on the institute staff. Firstly…hell yeah Tim you fucking get it. The man comes back from a horrific worm infestation and gets back to his hobbies of being silly and seducing cops for information. What an absolute legend, I wish he ran the institute, nay, the country. Also find it interesting that Basira has “refused to compromise her position any further”. Hopefully that just means that she doesn’t want to anything outside of sneaking in Gertrude’s tapes, as it would be a shame if those stopped coming in, given how interesting the first one was. It is very funny to me however that Jon says he doesn’t want to get involved in “personal drama”….when he is literally outside Tim’s house stalking him. Never change Jon. Actually please do change. Actually I don’t know. Also we have Not!Sasha, and while I can see why some might interpret her computer troubles as relating to the ones that force Jon to record statements on tape…I personally think she’s just really fucking weird. It also made me realize that doing I.T. in a place like this must seriously suck ass. (Oh god…imagine being in H.R. though…how would you manage the worms…HOW WOULD YOU MANAGE JON OH GOD.) So (almost, looking at you Not!Sasha) all of that is fine and dandy, but things get very interesting when we start to look at Jon’s investigations into Elias. Finally some substantial lore on this guy! (Sure, Jon should probably be looking into Not!Sasha but…he’s still suspicious as well so I won’t hold this one against him, even if his reasoning for suspicion from last episode is dumb as all hell.) So, we learn here that the institute was previously ran by a man named James Wright, who ran from 1973 to 1996. Not only does this mean that Episode 44 was recorded not too long after Elias took over, but it also means that…James Wright probably ran for an unusually short amount of time. I mean, I doubt you’d start running an institute like this in old age, and while he could’ve died in an accident or due to medical complications…I can’t just shake the feeling that he was murdered, despite the lack of information on him. Like, if Elias is being set up as antagonistic, which I feel like he is, then I could see him killing James just to gain his position. But on top of that lore, we learn that Elias joined in 1991, and worked in artifact storage, becoming head of the institute unusually quickly. But more importantly…HE CANONICALLY SMOKES WEED FUCK YEAH!!!! I don’t CARE if the implication is that he doesn’t do so anymore, I will forever believe that he still does it in secret because the amount of hilarious scenarios that could come from that are too good to pass up. But…yeah, this information on his past is weird. Like, you would not expect a stoner with a lackluster university degree to become the head of an eclectic academic institution so easily, let alone to have the personality of the Elias we see here. I saw someone suggest that maybe the real Elias was taken and replaced by one of the things that took and replaced Sasha, since he worked in artifact storage. I personally think it’s unlikely, since that event only transpired due to the table, which was only delivered to the institute fairly recently, but it’s a fun theory nonetheless, and it could explain why Elias seemingly knows that Not!Sasha isn’t who she says she is…and for some reason chooses not to tell Jon and the others. And hey, the table has definitely moved around before given it’s presence in Graham’s house, and maybe Hill Top Road, so it’s technically possible that it’s been to the institute before and was just temporarily moved to victimize someone. But as cool as this idea is, I have a bit of a different theory. It’s looser, but it makes more sense in my head.
You see, I think that Elias Bouchard has done some bad things and that he isn’t entirely moral, but I don’t think he has the worst intentions at heart. Based on all of the information, and the vibes he’s giving off, I think that he has likely witnessed the horrors first hand. This would explain his possible change in demeanor, perspective and personality after joining the institute, his supposed great knowledge on the paranormal, and why he was able to recognize Not!Sasha, without him being some horrific monster. I don’t think he was impersonated, but..he could’ve definitely seen something in artifact storage, or maybe even before then, as it would explain why he started work at the institute in the first place. And…I personally think he wants to avoid ✨the horrors✨as much as possible. He’s seen them first hand, and he wishes to keep them far away. This would explain a multitude of things. It would explain why he’s quite discouraging towards Jon’s attempts at investigation, why he was willing to sacrifice Jon and Martin to deadly C02 if it meant killing Jane, why he’s so quiet about details surrounding Gertrude. And mentioning Gertrude, if we assume that Elias did indeed kill her (which I still think is the most likely course of action, even with the potential of him being a red herring) then this potential worldview of his would explain why he would’ve killed her. Gertrude clearly knew quite a lot about ✨the horrors✨, much more than Jon at least, given how she talks about The Other Circus with such familiarity. And given how it seems that at least two cults have something against her, it’s safe to assume that she made an enemy of eldritch forces. So, Elias killed her out of fear for what she could’ve caused. And that’s why he’s trying to keep Jon calm (and desperately failing, might I add), as he does not wish to kill him as well. I know all of this is a huge claim to make but honestly…I could see it working out. I feel like Elias will end up being a very morally compromised character, one that has good yet potentially misguided intentions at heart, and had to do some terrible things to keep ✨the horrors✨ at bay. …I’ll just have to wait and see, I guess.
So yeah…that’s Episode 49. Another great episode as always, it definitely went some interesting places, and I’m very intrigued by the information on both Jared and Elias. Also, I hope that Tim’s polycule ends up successful (I’m just going to go on that assumption because it’s more fun.) I…once again don’t really know how to end this so uh…here’s a wacky link I found!
http://paypal.com/IFuckingHateJurgenLeitner
- Episode 50, Foundations 🏛️
Statement of Sampson Kempthorne, regarding the workhouse architecture of George Gilbert Scott.
And here we are! I’m now 25% of the way through The Magnus Archives, woohoo! So, did this episode conclude the first quarter of the series in a satisfying way? Well…I mean I guess yeah? Overall, I think the general concept of the episode makes it more than worthy, as having another statement given directly to the guy who founded the institute here does feel very totally fitting. But…I don’t know, it isn’t exactly a favorite for me. Not due to any particular flaws, as always it’s still very enjoyable and far from bad, but I guess I just don’t have that much to say about it, especially in comparison to some of the other episodes from this first quarter of the season. Regardless, there’s still definitely quite a few things worth talking about so uh…how about I get into that?
I’ll start off by saying that this episode does immediately get points for incorporating real-world history into it, which I’ve already said is something I really like in this podcast. As it turns out, Sampson Kempthorne, George Gilbert Scott, and Henry Roberts were all real people, along with the returning Robert Smirke, so it’s cool to see them get incorporated into the plot here. Although, I did find it funny how the case number was “8141206” as that error makes it seem as if the statement was given in 1814…and all of these guys would’ve been children at that point in time. This episode also thankfully gives a bit more information on Jonah Magnus, the founder of the institute. At this point in time he would’ve actually founded the place, unlike in Episode 23, and honestly, I think he would’ve had a lot in common with Jon. I mean, both of them probably talk like the haunted protagonists of Victorian gothic horror novels, and also need some rest, I can see some similarities there. I’ll touch a bit more on Jonah later, but for now I’ll just say that…yeah, those letters are a little…not all that heterosexual sounding. I mean, most old letters between two rich guys do feel kind of fruity by modern standards but…you get what I mean right? But as for the statement, well, I’ve got to say I love how we now have multiple instances of people leaving to New Zealand for the sake of escaping ✨the horrors✨ of England. I don’t know I just think that’s kind of funny. But when we get into the paranormal stuff that happens here…well, it’s pretty vague, but I think I can make some sense of what’s happening here. Obviously the person behind all of this is “The Governor”, someone with the ability to make buildings compress and kill people. My current assumption is that this “Governor” is indeed George Gilbert Scott. Both of them are…well firstly, they’re both really weird, but there’s some other things worth noting here as well. They both have some sort of interest in compressing architecture, we’re nearby the sites of The Governor’s actions, and on top of that, George’s plans were found in Sampson’s house after it started to close in on him. If they are not the same person, then they are at the very least strongly related and working together. However, the existence of The Governor does bring up some interesting ideas. You see, I initially assumed that the darkness worshipped by The People’s Church of The Divine Host was the same thing that appeared in Episode 15 and Episode 41, having the ability to morph rooms in order to trap and kill people. Now, that darkness could’ve still been there in those episodes but…honestly, aside from Sampson’s incident taking place at night, this darkness doesn’t really seem to be present here. This actually makes me think that the darkness and the compression are the results of two different eldritch horrors, and if we go back to the theory on what I think ✨the horrors✨ are, that brings us to a total of thirteen. Now, I still think that there’s actually fourteen eldritch beings at that the death number is meant to throw me off, as the passage that led to the central room in Episode 35 also had weird properties. In fact, that specific passage might actually be meant to represent the compressing horror. So, I still think I’m missing something here if my theory is in the right place, but I feel like I might have made a step in the right direction here. So, uh… Eldritch Gods 3.0!
- The Anglerfish (1, 28)
- Vertigo / The Vast (4, 21, 46)
- The Flesh Hive (6, 22, 26, 32, 36?, 39, 40, 45?)
- The Piper (7, 42?)
- Asag (8, 12, 19, 20, 37, 43, 48?)
- Darkness (9, 15?, 25, 41?)
- Eyes (12, 20, 23)
- Isolation (13, 33)
- Body Horror (14, 17, 18, 30, 35, 49)
- Compression (15, 41, 50)
- Spiders (16, 32, 38, 48)
- Whatever The Other Circus deals with (24, 44)
- Micheal :-) (8, 26, 47)
So there you go! This is my current list until further notice! One last thing I feel is worth mentioning is that Smirke suggests that George had a “patron”, but I have to wonder what that actually means. It could definitely mean The Governor, if he’s a different person, but if George is The Governor…then you could maybe take more a D&D Warlock approach to the term “patron”. Also, I fee I should address why I view ✨the horrors✨ as “eldritch”. Simply put, some spoiler-free content on tma I saw called it eldritch horror, so I’m just going on the assumption that’s what’s being dealt here. I only say this because there is still some good evidence for all of this to be the work of demons, or something along those lines, so I wanted to explain why I have this interpretation. Anyways uh…back to the statement! So, the other main thing of intrigue that came from this episode was of course the return of Robert Smirke, which also acts as our first look at him as a character. And…he’s pretty confusing to me. You see, with the way that he talks about George’s architecture, how he bashed it and says that Sampson was lucky to not have to work with him much longer, you’d assume he stands in opposition to whatever George / The Governor is doing. But then again, HE built the passages underneath the reform club, as well as the ones beneath the institute, so he’s not entirely resolved of making creepy architecture either. Now granted, I have suggested that you can serve one horror and be against others. For example, I believe Gerard serves whatever horror connects to eyes, but that he’s against Vertigo/The Vast and Asag given his actions. The problem however is that Smirke built the tunnels which I believe reflect ✨the horrors✨, so…that would mean he doesn’t really have a side in this conflict (which I assume to be the conflict Micheal talks about). Overall Smirke’s motivations and morality are very enigmatic at the moment. But what’s even more interesting here is that based on Sampson’s words, it seems that while the institute was founded in concept by this point, the actual building might not have been, since Jonah was working at Edinburgh Townhouse. This makes it possible that Jonah built the institute over the tunnels even though he had knowledge of Smirke’s strange designs. Which like, I get it, if you have an interest in the paranormal that’s fair enough of a move to make but…it just makes me worry about the purpose of the institute a lot more, and also makes me concerned for Jonah’s fate. I feel like an overarching theme of the story is that if you dig too deep, you’ find something you wish you hadn’t found, which makes me very fearful for the history of the institute, everyone currently working there…and myself, now that I think about it. (And if the institute has a stake in the “struggle” Micheal mentions…are they aligned with the compression horror?) Overall, while this episode isn’t an all-time favorite for me, it’s given me enough to think about going forward. The history of the institute, The Governor and the…odd themes of poverty abuse that follow him now that I think about it, and Smirke’s architecture are all very interesting topics that I would love to see get expanded further. While it’s not my favorite episode, I think it certainly works as a finale to the first quarter of the podcast.
Oh yeah, the supplemental. Uh….I mean, this one is fairly brief but that’s fine because it’s funny as fuck. Oh Tim…you have no idea do you? I mean, that’s not me saying that Jon reciprocates Martin’s feelings at the moment, because have you SEEN the man? What I am saying is that…Tim really is a bestie ignoring the plot isn’t he? Like, I love him, but he has NO idea where the romantic subplot is going. But outside of that, it’s nice to know Basira is still trying to give out the tapes, and it’s also good to see that Jon is finally in…some form of therapy. Hooray for marginal improvement!
Well, that’s a wrap on the first quarter of season two, as well as the first quarter of the entire podcast! In conclusion, season two has been absolutely fantastic so far. So many great episodes like Grifter’s Bone, Tightrope, Literary Heights and The New Door have already blown me away, and it makes me even more excited to see what the rest of the season will dish out. The supplementals are a great way to advance the plot, and the directions all of the characters and storylines are taking are extremely satisfying and/or interesting. Looking back it’s…kind of insane that I’ve gotten this into the podcast. I initially started listening because I wanted to write my own horror, and thought something to have in the background for inspiration would be nice. But then I listened to the first two episodes while doing mundane busywork in a class and…it absolutely hooked me. And here I am, writing ass-long posts about them. I still intend to write my own works in the future someday, and I’m working on it as we speak, but I’ve just got to say it’s been such a delight getting deep into this, and everyone who worked on this podcast has my highest respect. And as always, thank you for reading of you’ve made it this far, I consider you an absolutely legend of perseverance if you’re able to listen to someone ramble for this long. In conclusion, Jon needs a nap, Martin needs a happy relationship, Tim needs all of the riches in the world, Not!Sasha needs to die, Elias needs to explain himself, Gertrude needs to explain herself, Basira needs to be careful, Helen needs to GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE, and Micheal needs to get in my life right now. See you next time :).
#the magnus archives#tma#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#gertrude robinson#robert smirke#elias bouchard#gerard keay#jennifer ling#alfred grifter#diego molina#nikolai denikin#breekon and hope#jane prentiss#mikaele salesa#tim stoker#not!sasha#jurgen leitner#mike crew#micheal keay#micheal the doorman#helen richardson#jared hopworth#james wright#jonah magnus#the governor
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Steeplechase #36
KRYSTAL WITH A K????????? GIRL???????
KRYSTAL WITH A K, HEAD ARCHIVIST OF THE SOVEREIGN STATE OF STEEPLECHASE
YELLING
OFF TO A ROARING START
Return the Nanofather to us!!!!
"Were you ever a child?" "Oh yes, a long time ago." Montrose was a child once confirmed
Montrose lore????
"This is the jungle of trust right here."
"I'm a sucker for a tailored experience, especially when that requires no human to human contact. It's why I work here in the first place."
"I look at Beef and Emerich. And I say, 'Not all of them'." AHH
"A real Beefy rascal named Toddzilla." "WHAT" "NOT YOU"
"Dad, you're so good at getting low numbers out of a hundred." "Thank you, Travis."
"He's adorable, and his name is Claude." or is it Clawd
"It wasn't until I saw you play the game, or attempt to play the game--"
"Everybody shut up and let me fucking weave." nanofather in disguise as justin
"I...hit the gritty."
"You mean DOCTOR BALLSWEAT? She's a PHYSICIAN!"
[awed gasp] "Dad!"
"I'm more of a books guy." Beef my beloved
Beef really is the only one who is good at deescalating a situation which is great considering he's the fighter
[Justin makes a sound not unlike a squeaky toy]
"What is your means of egress from New Kididephia?" "Well, I'm kind of lying."
Emerich is like Montrose's makeup artist
Orwell's voice is a little Firbolg-esque
"I have three dads." You have two uncles and one dad."
"I would like to have a hang sesh with Beef and Emerich"
I love their dynamic so much
"And by concerned I mean hugely excited"
"It was a whole gambling cheating scandal thing. It's not important."
THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER
"Become what I am, which is basically God." "Woah" "HELL YEAH"
"That is not what I thought you would say, Emerich, but I'm so fucking glad that you did."
THE SAX
SHOOKLES WHAT
THE NANOFATHER
THE NANOFATHER YES YESSSSS YESSSSSS
GODDAMN WE WERE RIGHT IT WAS THIS SAME BLASTED WASTELAND
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Cleo didn’t want to care. She liked the popularized girlboss version of herself that seemed to have proceeded her in this world. Hell, even Etho was scared of her to the point of blatant respect. But the thing was, she did care, and cared too much for her own good, probably.
She and Scott went on hot girl walks every morning, just a little stroll around the server, so Cleo’s deadened limbs wouldn’t go completely numb, and so Scott could talk loudly about how shit everyone else was compared to them. It was a good system.
But back to the whole caring thing. This little annoying trait of her, caring too much, liked to poke its head out at the stupidest of times. Like on a particular hot girl walk.
“Oh and here’s the perpetual honeymooners. They’re disgustingly in love and I hate them for it.” Scott said far too loudly as an aside to Cleo as they rounded a corner and came upon Bdubs and Impulse’s house. The aforementioned honeymooners were gardening, and definitely heard Scott’s comments.
“Jealous much?” Bdubs, still looking like a mess it seemed, leered at them good-naturedly.
“Hi Cleo! Hi Scott!” Impulse waved at them with a warm smile. “Out for your girl walk? Wait- how does it go again?”
“Hot girl walk. Clearly you’re not hip. Work on that.” Scott corrected him.
“Getting bored of him yet, Impulse? Oh hi Cleo and Scott.” Etho appeared from the other side of the road, riding a horse.
“Oh Etho, always with the jokes. I could never get bored of my love!” Impulse chuckled. “If worse comes to worse, I’ll just poke him so he makes funny sounds.”
“He is like a squeaky toy.” Cleo agreed, but she trailed off. No one really noticed, which was probably for the best. Scott started talking to Impulse, but it was Etho and Bdubs that had caught her eye. They had wandered away slightly from the group, and something about it was… off. Bdubs and Etho had history, enough to fill a book. Cleo knew that. But it was in the way that Etho stood close to Bdubs, the way that Bdubs looked back and forth from Etho to the rest of the group. Cleo and Etho had history too, and that tilt of his head was a dangerous one. A possessive one. And the jokes, always with the snide comments about Impulse and Bdubs…
“…but me and Cleo have a hot girl walk to get back to, if we want to remain the hottest bitches on the server.”
Cleo started at her name and turned back to Impulse and Scott. “Right yeah.”
“Enjoy your walk.” Bdubs told her, walking back over. Etho was already off in the distance, riding away. Impulse put an arm around his soulmate and waved them off. Bdubs, Cleo noticed, just kind of stood there in the embrace, like his mind was elsewhere.
“Did you notice anything odd about Bdubs and Impulse?” Cleo asked Scott when they were out of earshot. Scott didn’t know those people as well as she did, but he was clever and had keen eyes.
“Yeah, Etho’s totes jealous.” Scott said. “Bdubs gets a cute little husband and suddenly there’s Etho on a horse. Tea, honestly.”
“Yeah…” Cleo murmured.
——
She wished she could forget the whole thing. She wished she wasn’t so damn caring. She didn’t care! Definitely not. Never.
But yet here she was, taking an evening stroll by herself right to Bdubs and Impulse’s front door. They were gardening. Again.
“Do you two have nothing better to do? You need new hobbies.” Cleo grouched at them as she approached.
“Hello Cleo!” Impulse welcomed her happily. “Lovely to see you as always.”
“We garden and we go inside and stare lovingly into one another’s eyes. It’s a full schedule, Cleo.” Bdubs replied to her snark.
“Well, I need to interrupt the busy schedule for a moment. Impulse, would you come on a hot girl walk with me? Only be for a short while.” Cleo asked. Impulse looked at her, and then back at Bdubs.
“I can come too.” Bdubs said. “I could use the exercise.”
“No, there can only be groups of two for the hot girl walk. It’s the rules.” Cleo outright lied. “Plus, don’t you want your man hot? More hot? Come on, Impulse. He’s safe with me.”
“I’ll be back soon.” Impulse promised Bdubs. “Love you more then anything. I promise I’ll be safe. Cleo’ll scare any danger off.”
“Love you more.” Bdubs said, eyes flicking to Cleo suspiciously. He watched them walk away, Cleo could sense it even with her back turned. She turned around at the crest of the hill and glared at him. She could see him shrink back. Bdubs was many things, but he wouldn’t dare fuck with her.
“So, a girl walk! How exciting!” Impulse pumped his arms and smiled. “What does one do on such a walk?”
“Gossip mostly. Listen, Impulse, how is your marriage going?”
Impulse sighed happily. “It’s bliss. Couldn’t think of any other way to say it. He’s perfect, we’re perfect. I’ve never felt so much comfort in my life. He’s my home.”
“Oh my god.” Cleo thought, looking at the man walking next to her. “He’s actually lovestruck.”
“Etho seems to be a frequent visitor of yours.” Cleo prodded ever so slightly.
“Yeah. We- okay, you can’t tell anyone about this- but we have potential allies we want, and Etho is one of them. Bdubs said he wanted him, and I trust his judgement, of course.”
“He said he wanted him. He said that specifically?” Cleo asked, a nasty feeling settling into her gut.
“I think so, yeah. Why, do you have insider information?” Impulse stopped her, concerned.
Cleo looked Impulse over. She knew him well too, knew that he was a big guy with big emotions. Fiercely loyal but easygoing and kind. And right now he was blind to everything except his soulmates’ sweet nothings that Cleo was quickly beginning to suspect really were just nothings.
“Listen. Bdubs is great. I love bdubs. You love bdubs. We all like bdubs.” She spoke carefully. Very carefully.
“I love him the most.” Impulse said with a smile.
“…right, yeah, that.” she paused, hoping Impulse would make a joke out of his words, but no, he was dead serious. “Impulse, you remember Bdubs’ past, don’t you?”
“Oh yes, I mean, we had our own little tiff.” Impulse grimaced comically. “But that’s all in the past now. He loves me. I love him.”
“Good lord, for someone who is good at redstone you sure can be daft.” Cleo gave up on subtly. “Impulse, I don’t trust Etho, and I don’t trust Bdubs with him. Bdubs is great, lovey, but he doesn’t do safe. You’re safe, and I’m sure you’re wonderful to him. But I know Bdubs better then you, and that’s just the truth. And the truth of the matter is that I think you’re blinded by new love, quite frankly. Etho’s been poking at you and him from the moment you realized you were soulmates, I’ve heard it through the grapevine. I think that you are going to get your heart broken, Impulse. You need to start paying attention. This isn’t a story with a feel-good ending and a kiss in the sunset. This is death row, and you two may be soulmates, but I think he will drag you to hell on a leash just to have some sense of instability.”
The smile on Impulse’s face became more and more fixed the longer Cleo talked. And when she stopped, the silence was practically rancid.
“You can not try to plant seeds of mistrust with me, Cleo. I’m sorry we lied to you about Scott and Martyn, but your lies are useless here. We are fine. Bdubs and I are wonderful, and I trust him. You don’t need to project your own relationship insecurities onto us. I think I’m done with the girl walk now.” He left her, walking back to his house, back to Bdubs.
“God damn it, Impulse.” Cleo sighed. “I did what I could. Not my problem anymore.” And she walked away, knowing fully well that Impulse was probably already telling his lovely perfect Bdubs what she’d said, and knowing that she had probably put a big red target on her back by opening her mouth. She wished she could say she didn’t care, but a deep, cold dread was washing over her for Impulse. And frankly, it kind of scared her.
#June 25 2022#fic#double life smp#dlsmp#zombiecleo#impulsesv#bdubs is also there#etho too#and Scott#long post#trafficshipping
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