aaand we’re back

It's so awesome there's blogs like yours out there trying to provide content for GN and Male fans. It's so hard to find anything even GN, and as a nonbinary person I just want you to know how much it's appreciated! If you're okay with taking requests right now, I have an Obey Me one? Do you have any headcanons on a poly/throuple relationship between a GN MC, Satan, and Solomon? Those two are surprisingly good friends in canon and alike in a lot of ways, I love them both so much!

throuple satan and solomon headcanons

reader: gender neutral, they/them pronouns

tw/cw: a bit of spoilers and fighting/blood mentions

author's note: AWW YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CRY YOU'RE SO NICE, ANON :,) i'm trying my hardest to provide more content for other male and gender neutral readers out there, so i really hope that what i write is enjoyable for yall <33 also i haven't the slightest idea of satan and solomon's canon relationship because i'm only at like lesson 30 smth and don't keep up with my messages so i just pulled most of their dynamic for this out of my ass ( ._.)

It was like a cat just met a dog when Satan and Solomon started dating. They have similarities, sure, but whereas Satan is cold and calculated with his spells, plans, and pranks, it's as if Solomon doesn't think. Like, ever.

How was someone so smart so insufferably stupid at the same time? It's as if Satan is his babysitter more than he's his boyfriend.

Oh god and when Solomon ropes you into doing something with him-

"I hate you both," Satan grumbles, checking your temperature and seeing how it's well above the normal temperature for humans. "Solomon, you can't just drag MC on all your dangerous adventures. They're much more human than you are."

"Just because I accidentally made a spell that cursed me with immortality doesn't mean I'm any less human than they are." Solomon crosses his arms at his boyfriend's hurtful words. "Besides, MC wanted to come with me. Isn't that right, MC?"

You didn't speak. That was probably because you had passed out from how incredibly fatigued you were. Your skin was sticky and noticeably sweaty, eyes closed shut while letting out painful whimpers.

"Tell me again just what happened to them?" Satan groans as he opens a spell book. God knows where he got it. He did that a lot. He was like a video game character or something the way he'd just pull books or spell jars from out his ass. He was always the one Mammon would ask for a pencil, because hell he had like hundreds on him at all times.

"Well," Solomon cheekily smiles and scratches the back of his neck. "We went looking for some herbs for a new spell I concocted."

"Uh huh?"

"And MC sort of... fell."

"What did they fall on, Solomon?"

Said man falls silent. "Solomon?" Satan drags out his lover's name, threatening him, to which all Solomon can do is smile again, this time more nervous.

"They kind of, maybe, fell into a bush of what could have been poisonous flowers...."

"What kind of poisonous flowers, Solomon?" Satan glares at him.

Solomon thinks for a moment, then clasps his hands together. "Let's just say that if we don't get Diavolo or Lucifer in the next," he looks toward a clock, "fifteen or so minutes, MC might fall asleep for probably a whole millennium."

That earns the sorcerer a big thwack to the back of his head by Satan's spell book.

That was probably the first major incident where you were dragged into Solomon's dangerous plans, but it certainly wasn't the last. Most of the time you either ended up with several scrapes or bruises, things Satan or Solomon could easily patch up on their own. But sometimes you'd come back missing a shirt or as a cat.

(It's hard for Satan to be mad at Solomon for accidentally turning you into a cat, but he manages it because you were furious.)

... You were a really cute cat though, MC.

A cat was frantically trying to climb up Satan's pant leg. He was out in the garden tending to his flowers when a kitty he'd never seen before made their way through the bushes and crashed into his leg.

"Hello little one," he smiled at the cat. "Are you lost?"

The cat let out a pitiful wail and latched themselves onto Satan's leg. Satan frowned a bit and started to get worried. "Are you hurt? What's wrong?"

He picked up the cat to examine them. They were a cute little thing with [eye color] eyes and a sleek fur coat. Satan couldn't see anything physically wrong with them. Their paws looked fine, and there was no blood anywhere.

"Did you lose your mom? Maybe your kitten?" he began to muse, then Solomon exploded through the bushes looking frantic as ever.

"Have you seen a cat?" he gasped for air. "About this tall, [eye color] eyes, clearly upset?"

"You mean this one?" Satan held up the cat he found.

"Yes! Give them here-"

The cat hissed and clawed at Solomon's hand, burying themselves further into Satan's grasp. They growled, then looked toward Satan to let out another pitiful whine.

"MC, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!" Solomon cried.

The cat hissed again.

"I'm sorry, did you just say MC?"

Solomon stiffened. He started to laugh nervously, fiddling with his cuffs. "Uh... would you break up with me if I told you I turned our darling MC into a tiny cat...? If so then no, I didn't say MC."

"You did what?!"

"Oh would you look at the time! I have a meeting with Lord Diavolo I must attend to right now, goodbye Satan, I love you!"

And then Solomon left, leaving Satan to fix whatever spell he put on their partner by himself. Satan wasn't angry about it, but the look of pure rage on your little furry face was enough to let Satan know that if he kept you as a cat for a moment longer you'd raise hell upon everyone in the vicinity.

Having a pact with a demon means that pretty much everything you do is shared with said demon. You feel emotions stronger, god forbid if you feel their specific emotions. You could be angry at Mammon for swiping a bag of candy you bought for yourself, but you act as if Mammon robbed you of every last thing you had just because of the pact you share with Satan. He feels awful about that, even though you reassure him time and time again that:

1.) It's not his fault, and

2.) You wanted a pact with him

Even so, please give Satan cuddles and kisses after he gets all sulky. He acts composed, but on the inside he's so incredibly self-conscious of both his sin and his pact with you.

"You need to be more careful," Satan quietly mused as he bandaged your hurt hands and face. You had gotten into a fight at school because a demon shoved you, and now you were currently inside Satan's room, getting blood all over his pretty carpet.

"I know," you softly sighed and hissed once the rubbing alcohol came into contact with the cuts on your face. "I just, I don't know. It set me off for some reason."

Your boyfriend hesitated for a moment, then applied a bandage to your cheek. "It's because of the pact."

"Satan-"

"You know I'm right, MC." Satan didn't look at you when he talked. Instead he looked at his lap, which had the first aid kit he was using to fix you up in it. "I know I talk about this a lot but... I am truly sorry for doing this to you."

"Hey," you cupped his cheek. "It's not your fault. I can learn to live with this. I learnt to handle my greed, envy, and gluttony when I built pacts with your brothers, right?"

"You shouldn't have to though. Maybe it's best if I-"

You silently kissed him. It was a bittersweet kiss, one filled with love yet unspeakable sadness and hurt. Satan was so self-conscious of his sin, yet you loved him still anyway. You wished he could see that.

"Don't finish that thought," you whispered as you pulled away. Resting your forehead against his, you continued. "I love you. Despite your sin, despite how you were born, despite everything; I love you. I chose you, and I wanted a pact with you." You smiled, and Satan couldn't help but blush at your next sentence.

"You silly demon. You really can't see how amazing you are, huh? It's okay though, because both me and Solomon will always be here to remind you."

Solomon touches all your pact marks constantly. When you take off your shirt it's hard to stop him from touching Leviathan's mark located directly on your back. He's always rubbing his fingers over Beelzebub's symbol on your stomach, always outlining Mammon's mark on your wrist. Sometimes he kisses Belphegor's symbol on your throat. When meeting your eyes, he never fails to stare into the one that holds Lucifer's mark, and even though you cover your thighs almost all the time, it's like Solomon can tell where Asmodeus's mark is. It's his favorite place on your thigh to touch.

You sighed whenever you felt Solomon's lips touch the small of your back. A smile made its way onto your own lips as you giggled.

"I didn't expect Satan to place his mark somewhere so... subtle," he admitted as he popped up to press a kiss to your cheek.

You looked at him out of the corner of your eye. He was playing with your wrist again, looking at the symbol of greed that adorns your skin.

"Solomon," you started.

Your lover hummed. You could tell he was beginning to grow drowsy. His eyes were closed and his movements slowed.

"Are you... jealous?"

That woke him up. He made you face him, and the expression he wore was unreadable. It worried you. Maybe you shouldn't have said that.

"I just mean, like," you grew embarrassed. "Um... you're always touching my pact marks, or always looking at them, and I don't know. Are you mad at me for them?"

The sorcerer gently grasped your hands. His fingers were weirdly soft considering how much he uses them. He sat there for a moment, just running his thumbs over your palms before speaking.

"I am a little," he admitted. "But I'm not mad at you. If anything I'm proud."

You smiled a bit. It was a lopsided and awkward sort of smile, but to Solomon it was the most beautiful thing in the world, as cheesy as that sounded.. He loves seeing his partners happy. He loves seeing you happy.

"You're much stronger than you think," Solomon continued. "Being able to hold seven different pact marks, ones belonging to Avatars, as a human with no sort of prior knowledge on magic?" He beamed. "You're incredible."

That only embarrassed you more. You groaned a bit and tried swatting Solomon away to hide your face, but your lover only pulled you in for a short yet loving kiss.

"You're cute, you know that?"

"You're cuter," you retorted. Solomon just smiled.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, dear. Speaking of which," he leaned back on your bed and made grabby hands at you, indicating that he wanted you to lay next to him. "I'm tired. Cuddle me."

"So needy," you joked, but instantly complied to Solomon's request. He was never like this in public. It was nice seeing him so open and vulnerable... and cute.

Double Indemnity: Ch.1 (Josh Kiszka x Reader)

Summary: After an incident their freshman year they could barely stand to look at each other. Now it’s their senior year and are grouped together for their final project. What could go wrong?

Warnings: Cursing

WC: 2.3k

Authors note: Well. I flipped into Josh’s lane and thought of this sucker and couldn’t get it out of my head. After I heard the story behind the writers of “Double Indemnity” I just had to make this. Heres to me hopefully finishing a series! Enjoy!

Let’s go back to the day when I “met” Josh Kiszka and when I actually met Josh.

It was the summer before my freshman year of college, and at that point, film sets weren’t a stranger to me. But I sure didn’t have the experience that most of the already film majors around me had. I was roped in by my long time friend Jack who I hadn’t spoken to since graduation, but due to the circumstances, he needed as many crew members as possible. He had 2 days to write, shoot, and cut together a short film. I was a PA (production assistant) and was frantically running around helping in any way I could. I was smart enough to stay out of the way and speak up when needed.

 I met most of the crew except one, the cinematographer/camera op, who was the busiest on set. The exception being Jack, who was the director. I heard the camera OP was only there because he had the nicest camera, but my mind may have tainted what I heard about him that day.

With only an hour to spare we had finished the film. All of us dehydrated and starving, sleep-deprived too. I was cradling a horrendous migraine from the lack of water and was ready to leave before someone suggested we go to Cookout. Which is arguably the best food at 3 am. 

Against my will, I was dragged to the fast-food restaurant with the rest of the crew. At that point, I was barely conscious and sat in the back seat of Jack’s car. The stranger cinematographer who I hadn’t noticed was next to me until he tapped my shoulder. With a concerned look, asked me if I was okay and needed anything. Which was nice of him considering we’d never spoken. 

After the short exchange of words, he never seemed to fully leave my side. May it be his glances from across the table with the same concerned look, or him bring me cups of water, which I still don’t remember him getting up for. 

After that night it would be months until I see him again. 

I didn’t expect him to be in my Post Production class, but I was definitely happy to see him. It was my first day of classes and to see a familiar face was a nice change of pace compared to whirlwind of a day. Though it wasn’t too long after that that my feelings for him changed.

If you’re a film student you’re going to edit a Gunsmoke fight scene, it is basically a right of passage. Anyways I was an experienced editor and of course, was going to cut the fight scene to the beat of an Ennio Morricone song. If we were going to work on a western scene then Ennio was a must. 

 I was damn proud of my work, I seemed to be one of the best editors in the class, josh being right there with me. We didn’t exchange many words, but we kept each other company by simply sitting next to each other. 

Then came the critique day, when everyone watches your video and gives you notes. Usually its never good notes.

 After our class watched it everyone had a lot to say, mostly over small slip-ups I didn’t notice, that’s normal. Josh’s video was next and the moment the music played I was livid, he had used the same exact song, even cut it the same way I did. The worst part was that no one had anything bad to say about it, all good comments. I kept it contained, for the most part. I didn’t verbally say anything, but my constant tapping and dirty looks in his direction said otherwise. I don’t think he’d noticed.

I waited until everyone left and simply gave him a piece of my mind. Maybe I snapped at him… either way, it led to us getting into our first screaming match. Josh saying he “didn’t” copy my video and me disagreeing. I honestly don’t remember how it ended, but I do remember us getting kicked out of the building for it. 

Anyways that was three years ago, and we still hate each other. Yet here we are still in all the same classes, but the difference is we have silent warfares. Constantly competing with each other, showing each other our higher grades, and besting each other’s videos. I can barely stand to hear him talk anymore, but I do have to say. He knows how to make a good line. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Even with the cold chill of the November air prickling my skin and the wind whipping my hair, my mood couldn’t be damped. Maybe “chill” is an understatement. Living in “The City by the Lake” aka Chicago brings on the harshest of winters, and as crazy as it seems, I always weirdly miss it when I go back to Michigan. Sure it has it’s many feet of snow, but Chicago makes the wind weirdly dazzling. 

This is my last coffee, I’ll switch to tea. Is something I say every morning when I get up before classes, but here I am again, with an out of place cold brew in hand and a raging caffeine addiction. In hindsight, it is better than my previous vice, cigarettes, but the headaches it brings on is just as bad as missing a cig. My one hand shoved in my pocket and the other is clutching the same cold brew as before. I may have said that I couldn’t be bothered by the weather, but I’m not immune. 

As soon as I enter Columbia’s Media Production building everything becomes flush with warmth. Its a bit uncomfortable really. I remove my gloves and quickly checked my phone, affirming that I’m right on time as always. As I stroll through the halls I tune more into the music, enjoying my free time. There is just something about Chet Baker and Chicago that just mixes so well. 

Todays a good day though, it marks my one year of quitting cigs. Did I mention that I quit? Because I quit. Anyways my roommate made a big deal out of it, I also figured out the coolest riff, I’m kind of shit at making music out of thin air so it’s a big day. 

After taking the long way to my Directing class (Cinema Directing III if you want to get technical) I finally made it to the small class. Most of the class was there, luckily for me my two-year seat partner, Gwen, was already there, waiting where she always does. We met in our Single Cam 1 class and have been inseparable since, well actually Gwen, Cora (the previously mentioned roommate), and I have been inseparable ever since. 

I made my way to my usual seat and peeled my overworn leather bomber jacket off, already feeling more comfortable. Slumping back in my chair I lazily grabbed my sketchbook and pencil out of my bag. Its become a kind of habit to draw my professors and classmates every day, something is just so fascinating about their compositions. I got to work on Gwen who was hunched over, focusing on her book in front of her. I got to work and as soon as I finished up on the basic shapes she quickly sat up, focusing on me. 

“You ready for the final project?” She questioned, stealing my coffee in the process.

“I’ve been working on a few ideas already, but then again I don’t know the assignment yet. I do know I will be grabbing the usual 4 of you the moment he says “groups.”

“Heres to hoping we can pick- Oh!” She almost spilled my coffee when she interrupted herself. 

“I forgot to text you! Happy one year of being ciggy free!” She exclaimed, handing me back the bottle.

I took a swig from the bottle when she gave it back. “Well thank you, darling. I feel like having clean lungs shouldn’t be such an achievement, but I guess here we are.”

“Be proud! Besides gives us a reason to head to Jerry’s.”

“We’d celebrate over anything if it meant going to Jerry’s and getting pissed.” I smirked at her.

“Well. You got me there. Anyways you are right, we will be getting drunk out of our minds tonight. Bless the man who decided to open a bar directly next to your apartment building.” She said, with a playful smile on her lips.

“Bless him indeed.” I laughed. 

At that moment I locked eyes with none other than the aforementioned, Josh Kiszka. It’s oddly enough what we do every time we see each other. Which is more often than I think both of us care for. But seeing him roll his eyes every time I glare at him is kind of fun. 

I followed him with my eyes as he sat down in his seat, instantly sticking his nose in- wait what is he reading? I focused and realized he was reading the screenplay for Tarantino’s “Reservoir Dogs.” Where the hell did he even get that? 

My eyes snapped up to the professor when I realized he started class.

“Alright, I’m just going to jump into this. Today we start on your final projects, and I think it’ll be very fun. A challenge for sure, but fun nonetheless.”

I slipped a sly smile to Gwen, already thinking of the best ideas in my arsenal to use.

“In groups, you all will be recreating a favorite film, but it should max be 20 minutes long. Now that’ll be your job to rewrite and format it so you can fit in the timeframe. Oh, and I swear to god if another person does Pulp Fiction I will actually scream. You can hold me to that.”

Oh Jesus okay this will be hard as hell, I guess something with a simpler plot will be easy. Ooh, or something that’s so overcomplicated I can rewrite it so it’s simpler. What’s something that’d be good for Gwen, she’s a good actress, but she can only play so much-

“I already have your groups picked out let me just put them up on the board.” My professor said, searching for the list on his computer.

Oh god. He’s never done this. We always pick groups. If Gwen and I aren’t grouped together I may just riot. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him drag the document over to the screen, so I quickly directed my attention to it.

I searched all of the lists, finally finding my name at the top of group four. Rob, Eric, and- Oh shit Gwen! Wait. There’s one more. The moment I saw the J I knew exactly who it was. My eyes darted over to Josh’s seat and had the same look I could only guess that was on my face. We both glared at each other, if we stared any harder we’d burn holes in each other.

“Motherfucker!” I whispered to Gwen, trying not to raise my voice.

“What? We are in the same group.” she looked back over to me with confusion on her face. She followed my eyes to the equally angry man across the room from me.

“Oh, shit..”

“Oh shit is right! I can’t work with that guy, I swear to god… Damn it, I can’t think of an insult! Quick help me!” I stammered out, you could practically see the steam coming out of my ears.

“Um... You can’t work with that Frodo look alike?” She suggested, both of us whispering to each other now,

“I’ll take it. I can’t work with that Frodo look alike! He’s just gonna take all of my good ideas and throw them into the lava like that fucking ring. Wait is it Frodo or sam who throws it? Know what, I don’t care. Look at what he’s making me forget important plot points in movies. I can’t work with someone who hinders my thinking process.” 

“First off, Gollum falls in with the ring in hand. Secondly, drink your coffee and focus on what movie we should do. Suggest something so good so fast that it’ll make his head spin.”

She put the almost empty coffee in my hands and I took a swig, still glancing back at josh, making the same face. 

Gwen started to ramble on, her words in the back of my mind. All I could focus on was wanting to be in any other group than his, even Leonard. He refuses to watch a Tarantino film, and simply because he thinks he’s beyond that. Leonard is someone I talk to if only necessary.

 I tuned back in to hear. “I mean if you think about it, as much as you and Josh are to Frodo and the Ring. You’re more like Billy Wilder and Ray Chandler. I mean they hated each other, but damn if they weren’t good writers. Plus, they respect a good line-”

Inspiration was swept over me. I knew exactly what we had to do. Before I knew what was happening my feet carried themself over to Josh’s seat. Same as before, we both had the same expression, except this time it was one of surprise. 

“Double Indemnity!” I blurted out a bit too loudly.

He seemed even more confused. “Double insurance money?” He questioned.

“Fuck. No. It’s the film we are going to make. It’s a fantastic idea, and it’s happening. Not even you can argue with me!” I sped out.

He sat for a moment in thought, his brows furrowed together and a cliche hand positioned on his chin. 

“Fine.” Is all he said, his arms were crossed. He seemed defeated.

I simply turned on my heel and headed back to my seat. An overexcited grin plastered to my face. 

Penpals? Chapter 2

Chapter 2: 

November, 2017 

After about 2 weeks of preparation (waiting for a paycheck) Arizona had almost everything ready for her box. All she had to do was write the letter. 

*Dear Jinho, I don’t have words to express how grateful I am for everything you sent me. I actually feel bad because I don’t send as much. But here are a few of my favorite things from America. I really hope you like them. The SNSD mug? I use it everyday for my morning coffee. (she printed out a photo of the mug on her side table) The tea is incredible! Jinho, everything is incredible and I can’t thank you enough! 

By the way, how are you? How is South Korea? I hope you’re doing ok as well as your friends. I am ok, just a little bit stressed with school. Our final exams are in about a month and believe me I am not ready. Oh! I haven’t introduced myself. As you already know my name is Arizona, I am 20 years old and I am a music major in college. That’s something we have in common, music. I wanted to become a music major because I would love to be a music teacher in a university. I feel like my acquired skills would be exploited there. I really don’t know what to say about myself. My favorite colors are moss green and beige. I cannot write with normal ballpoint pens. I know. It’s weird. Fountain pens are a blessing and they are the best thing in the world.*

***

Bang Chan was in his room working on some mixtapes when he heard Jisung yell. 

“YA! We got a package for Bang Jinho. Who is Bang Jinho?”

Bang Chan threw his laptop on his bed and almost slipped on the wood floor, running to where Jisung was.   

“Nae goesida!” It’s mine! He said. He yanked the… box? A box? And ran to his room, locking the door behind him, leaning on it as if one of his band mates were to break it down. It has happened before... 

He clutched his chest regaining his breath. He took a seat on the floor and curiously examined the box, it had the typical shipping label. He didn’t spare a minute so he opened the box with his bare hands. Inside the box were a variety of American sweets. He found a mug with the american flag on it, post-its of the american flag… There were a lot of things with the american flag. Very.. touristy. Still, he thought it was cute. He saw a light blue envelope and grabbed it. It was time to read what she said. 

Dear Jinho…

.

.

*I have no siblings, sadly. I am an only child so I grew up alone sometimes. But that’s ok. I don’t mind being alone sometimes. I find comfort in being alone. Oh! I listened to the songs you sent me. Ok, let me gather my thoughts. 

Likey: It’s so catchy and I watched the video as well and now I can’t stop doing the hand movements from the beginning! My best friend Nick, laughs and teases me because I will do it without realizing it. I will have to check out more of Twice’s music, they seem very promising. 

You Are by Got7: I have heard of them but never got into their music yet. This was until you told me to listen to this song. I like this song. It’s has a beautiful melody. I like how it builds up and I didn’t expect the chorus to sound like that! I know kpop involves a lot of rapping but that “IT’S A BEAUTIFUL SKYYY” Dude. That buildup. Wow. 

Matryoshka: I don’t even know where to begin. Who are these people?? I mean, I downloaded Soundcloud because you mentioned it and I was blown away. They are amazing! The first rapper has such a chill flow. It’s like he’s not trying but it sounds good either way! The second one? He’s good, too good. And the third one? Oh Lord. I really hate you right now. Who the hell has that type of voice? I figured it was him who accentuated the MAAAAAAAATRYOSHKA. And wow, just wow. Thank you for showing me these amazing rappers. I have to look into them more! 

Lastly, Be Lazy. I have like 2 things to say. THE BASS. THE BASS. Thank you. I like them so much. THE BASS.*

The letter was two pages long and Chan enjoyed reading all of it. She seemed like a very animated person. She seemed to be happy about the simplest things and that weirdly made him smile. 

FAST FORWARD TO DEBUT ERA. Chan and Arizona have exchanged a few letters (shipping time and Chan’s schedule). But they became great friends in the short amount of time they’ve corresponded to each other. They kept trading on songs, Chan loved or dislikes the ones she sent and same went for her. In future v-lives, he would play some of the songs he told her to listen to. But, one thing was for sure. Chan converted Arizona into a newer generation K-pop lover. Chan told her that 3racha were actually part of a survival show that basically consisted of working hard to be able to debut together. He also never told her that he was Bang Chan. But, he did tell her that he was working hard in order to get a job as a backup dancer for idol groups.  

March:  Chan to Arizona (They just debuted)

*Zo, I am so happy! I GOT THE JOB! I wish I could tell you all about it but I can’t!*

Arizona to Chan

*No way! Jinho that is amazing! I am so happy for you! I know how much you worked for this! Whenever you get to dance on stage let me know so I can watch you.* Chan sighed as he read her response. She will see him, but she won’t know who he is.  

Fastforward

Months go by and Stray Kids have won multiple rookie awards. Thanks to Chan, Arizona has gone head over heels for them. She will rant about them in her letters and fangirl with him.

*Jinho… I know I sent you your letter and you probably received it yesterday or a few days ago but this is an emergency. SKZ DROPPED ANOTHER VIDEO!  BTW, You have to see the street version of  Insomnia. THEY WERE IN THE US I MEAN WHAT THE HELL! This is why I hate being a college student. No money. And, 10 days later they release the street version of Question? Do they want to kill me. Changbin and Hyunjin body rolling killed me! They all killed me. I really can’t thank you enough for introducing me to them. #PROUDSTAY*

For the release of their album I Am Who, Chan sent her an album. He wanted it to be autographed but he couldn’t explain how he made that possible. Either way she has his handwriting in paper so that counts? The boys knew about her, not much but they did know he was corresponding with a girl from America. Either way, she has his handwriting. Arizona in return, sent him an ASAP Rocky album! That made Chan very very happy. 

Life suddenly was brighter for Arizona. She always had a hard time seeing the bright side in life and being positive was extra effort. But corresponding with Chan helped her breathe with ease. He was her escape room. She could tell him everything and she knew that he wouldn’t judge her. He would always offer words of comfort and advice. There were times where she would vent about how hard her classes were or how her  mental health deteriorates day by day.  Chan wasn’t bothered by this. He wished for her to be happy and free in her own mind. He would occasionally send her various letters in the span of a few days or less. He knew she wasn’t expecting it and he hoped it made her smile, which it did. 

They were so used to corresponding to each other that friendship slowly and silently became something else. Arizona once debated about it but she brushed it off. It can’t be possible and it won’t be. Letters were romantic and that is the stigma that is around it and that’s all. There is nothing more to it. Chan thought of her constantly when he wasn’t busy with producing, practicing or anything related to the group. He knew he liked her, did he have the opportunity to ask for a picture? He did. But he didn’t ask. He would feel obliged to send her one of himself and he couldn’t do that. It was enough with lying about his job. 

FEBRUARY - 2019 

“I am soooooooo tired.” Arizona complained as she walked into the same coffee shop she frequented with Nick over the course of their college years. Both were seniors now, graduating in May! 

“All nighter?” Nick asked? She just nodded and smiled at the barista giving her their order. 

“You’re a master procrastinator. What were you doing?”

“Working on my senior project and portfolio.” She mumbles taking a seat and resting her head on the table. Nick didn’t miss how she avoided his eyes. 

“And probably writing J’s letter right?” Arizona looked up at her best friend and smiled. It was true, she was working on less than 2 hours of sleep, writing the letter and working on her project. “Zozo, you like him don’t you.” It wasn’t a question. It was an affirmation. 

“Nick, stop.” She wasn’t ready to face this topic yet. Like him? Pff. She’s never seen him before. “We’ve never met and probably never will. Ok? Drop it.”

“You don’t have to like or love his looks.” Arizona knew that and she knew what danger she was in of falling harder and faster for Jihno. She just wasn’t ready for it. 

Arizona arrived home after her evening lessons and collapsed on the couch. She was just dozing off when her mom threw some papers on her stomach. “You have mail” She said. The sleepy girl sat up and flipped through the envelopes. Phone bill, student loan information, a postcard?  

“Australia? I don’t know anyone in Australia.” She turned the postcard around and smiled when she recognized the handwriting. 

*Hey Zo, sorry this is going to be short. But, I am in aussie visiting family. I won’t be able to read any of your letters until I get home but I will write! Just make sure to send your responses  to my normal address. I am so happy to see my family again, I actually came with a few of my friends and we are just touring around. I also heard Stray Kids are going to be here! I’ll see if I can go to their concert or spot them at the touristy sites. If I do, I’ll send photos. Take care. 

Jinho.*

Her heart fluttered. He knew how much she loved Stray Kids that he would even look for them for her! The days flew by and she received an envelope. It contained a post-it and multiple photos. The note said, ‘Found them.’ The photos were of Stray Kids near the Sydney Opera House. Wait, he found them? The photos seemed to be taken from afar and the boys were with cameras? Filming a video? Arizona died right there. He went all the way to find them, take their picture, develop them and send them to her. 

Chan’s Perspective

Chan asked his manager to take photographs of them as they filmed and as if they were fans who spotted them. Manager Kim (let’s say that’s his name) agreed without asking for a reason. Chan quickly developed them and sent them before going back to South Korea. He was dying to tell her who he was. After all, he was her bias. Not that it made any difference. Sadly he still couldn’t, Stray Kids were going to be extremely busy in the next month and he feared not to have time to write so he made sure he had conversations planned out so she wouldn’t feel lonely. He also had the feeling that this comeback was going to be important for their careers. 

His last letter ended with; ‘Zo, I won’t be able to write as much because I will be dancing for a group for their comeback so we will be very busy practicing. But, I will try to write as much as possible. Don’t miss me.” 

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Hey guys this was more of a filler chapter. I hope you get an idea of how the story is going to go.  There will hopefully be two more chapters, I still don’t know how I will space them out. Next chapter is going to be about the Miroh and Yellow Wood era. Arizona also graduates college and there is a big surprise that will lead to the last chapter. 

Playlist?

Adios - Everglow

Teeth - 5 Seconds of Summer

Wanna Go Back - Day6 

Mirror - Stray Kids

These are the pictures Chan sends to Arizona.

Goty 2019

Hey. It’s game of the year 2019 baby. By now you know the kinda justice we seek on these streets, so no long-winded introductions, except to remind you that these aren’t reviews, and honorable mentions have been moved down to the bottom this year because we're evolving.

12. Super Kirby Clash (Switch) - A free to play online Kirby spinoff centered around combat that features microtransactions sounds like an awful idea on paper, and yet it’s somehow my most played multiplayer game of 2019. I won’t try and present the game as anything more than what it is, which is basically a very (very very very!) simplified, arcade-y Monster Hunter game with a very (very very very very!) cute aesthetic. But as a recent convert to Monster Hunter and a longtime Kirby lobbyist, it turns out that that’s all I need to play a game for nearly 100 hours. The four classes all have varied abilities, gameplay and roles to play, and there’s nothing more satisfying than freezing time as the mage in the middle of an enemy’s jumping animation. I found the microtransactions to be completely fair, as I spent around 10 dollars total on the game and never found myself hurting for apples (the game’s main currency and the only one you can buy with real money) to upgrade my equipment. This isn’t a game I would be able to recommend to everyone, but if it’s your type of thing then it’s going to be very much your type of thing.

*Image credit: 505 games

11. Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night (Switch/PS4/Xbox One/PC) - Despite horrible first impressions from my backer copy of the Switch version, Bloodstained really ended up delivering the true Castlevania: Symphony of the Night successor it promised to be, and I had a fantastic time with it (after trading in my Switch version and begrudgingly purchasing a PS4 copy). While I love almost all of the Castlevania games in their own ways, even the best entries post-SotN didn’t end up feeling much like SotN. Bloodstained, meanwhile, wears its inspiration on its sleeve. Or rather on its wolf hood and gas mask combo.

Obscure, bizarre, and goofy secrets are around every single corner of the castle. I mean, like, really esoteric ones that I can’t imagine having found without a guide. From the myriad of hidden (and very challenging!) boss fights, to trophies popping for playing a piano while having a fair familiar out to entire sprite based areas, the surprises never stop being thrown at the player. It adds so much goofball flavor to the game that’s missing from just about any other entry in the genre, and it does the brunt work in giving this game its identity.

Not only are the secrets plentiful and good, but the combat is also excellent; much like a couple entries in the latter Castlevania games, just about every single enemy in Bloodstained has a chance of dropping you a shard upon defeat, and each one gives your character Miriam a new ability. Some of these are simple passive buffs, while others completely change your combat options. From ghostly portrait guardians to giant dentist drills coming out of your hand to summoning disembodied dragon’s heads, the shard system is never not entertaining, and leaves the player so much room for experimentation and realizing their ideal build it’s actually a wonder they were able to bug test this thing at all. And truly, the main issues holding Bloodstained back from true greatness are its technical issues. Which is a shame, and seemingly an issue on all platforms. But if you can handle a hard crash here or there, you’re in for a treat.

10. Fire Emblem: Three Houses (Switch) - I never thought I would care at all for any Fire Emblem game. Certainly, I saw the appeal of them prior to Three Houses, but they just never seemed like something I would want to devote a lot of time to. But putting the game in a school setting and recontextualizing your soldiers as students really made a huge difference for me, and I bonded with the characters in the game in a way I normally reserve for my Pokemon teams. And unlike Pokemon, I can marry my students, which is beautiful and horrifying.

There are definitely issues with Three Houses. A silent protagonist has no right starring in a game like this, especially with all the emotional story beats the game is trying to pull off. The writing in general was also all over the place, ranging from odd decisions with both the characters as well as the overarching story (some of this is remedied by replaying the game multiple times and going down different routes, but I put 60 hours into the game and couldn’t even finish two paths, so that’s a bit unrealistic). Lastly, the monastery that serves as your school needs just a tad more variety in activities to do in between the battles, as what started out as my favorite part of the game became a chore for the last dozen or so hours.

All of that said, I am anxiously waiting for the sequel, as the foundation that’s been put down here could lead to something truly special. As it stands, this is the best secret Harry Potter game ever made, and that alone is going to have a lot of appeal to a lot of people.

*Image credit: Gamespot

9. Resident Evil 2 (PS4/Xbox One/PC) - Truly, I have never been more stressed out when playing a game than the first time I had to start dealing with Mr. X. Yes, on each subsequent playthrough (of which I did many!) and even encounter he became less of a threat and more of an annoyance, but much like a good horror movie, that first time will remain embedded in my brain as one of my most memorable gaming moments.

And that kinda sums up Resident Evil 2 as a whole for me. An amazing, unforgettable start in the police station, followed by a somewhat middling second act in the sewers, and ending on kind of a weirdly short whimper in a very tonally different setting than the rest of the game. And that’s without getting into how disappointingly similar the “B” playthroughs of either character were to their “A” counterparts. It was all still great, mind you, and the gameplay and scares remained excellent throughout. But man was that first act in the police station something truly special, and I’m hopeful that the eventual remake of 3 keeps more of that tone throughout.

8. Pokemon Sword/Pokemon Shield (Switch) - Cutting hundreds of Pokemon was pretty close to the bottom of my list of concerns going into the latest Pokemon. The series hasn’t really grabbed me in a major way since Black and White on the DS almost 9(!) years ago, and I had largely accepted the idea that I was finally growing out of the franchise. While this 8th generation of Pokemon titles is far, far from perfect, and in fact doubles down on a lot of the aspects I don’t like about modern Pokemon games, Sword has become my favorite entry in the series in a very long time.

This is down to two things: my favorite batch of new Pokes the series has ever had (Galarian Farfetch’d, my prince............) and the introduction of multiplayer coop content with raids. The former is subjective I suppose (but seriously, Galarian Farfetch’d), and the appeal of the raids is going to be dictated by how into repetitive content you are and if you have people to raid with. I’m fortunate enough to love repetitive tasks in video games, especially repetitive tasks that amount to fighting and capturing giant monsters for rewards, and to have a partner to enjoy those repetitive tasks with. We lost entire weekends to hunting down new raid opportunities in Sword, and this feels like the first major step the series has taken in nearly a decade to try and reengage me in a meaningful way.

And don’t get me wrong: Pokemon has a long way to go to bring me entirely back into the fold. The dungeons are nonexistent, the routes are largely completely straightforward affairs, the post game content is so light that “barebones” feels like a generous descriptor, and the performance issues in the wild area (the game’s more open, free roaming space) are inexcusably awful when played online. I hope by the time the 9th generation games roll around that we’ll get a bigger advancement than what’s been seen here, but to me, this feels like an all around better made product than any of the 3DS entries, with or without Galarian Farfetch’d.

7. Risk of Rain 2 (Switch/PS4/Xbox One/PC) - The original Risk of Rain is a personal all-time favorite, so seeing the developers successfully make the jump from 2D to 3D while still maintaining everything I love about the first game is a truly remarkable feat. Both games sport essentially MMO-lite combat with abilities dictated by cooldowns and items that you get from chests and bosses, with rogue-like progression and permadeath. That’s a lot of jargon even for me talking about video games, so essentially: keep shooting things and powering up by grabbing items and defeating bosses, and when you’re dead you’re dead (bar a specific item), rinse and repeat.

It’s deceptively simple while being endlessly replayable. The true fun comes in when playing with other people, as every character plays completely differently, and figuring out builds for each person on the fly is extremely fun and rewarding. This also means that if you start getting bored of one character, simply play a different one on your next run. Add in an extremely moody sci-fi aesthetic (including one of my favorite soundtracks of the year) and that’s Risk of Rain.

The main issue with Risk of Rain 2 at this point is that it’s simply unfinished, and won’t even have an actual ending state until spring of 2020. This doesn’t hamper my enjoyment of the game much, hence it being on this list, but I imagine a lot of people would be bothered by it. The developers have done a great job of updating the game at a decent pace so far though, and every major patch has come with a new character, among a ton of other things. And if I’ve already gotten this much enjoyment out of an early access title, it’s exciting to think about a feature complete version down the line. And hopefully that feature complete version of Risk of Rain 2 includes the Chef character from the first game *ahem*.

6. Astral Chain (Switch) - In a year full of some real dang weird yet shockingly great games, Astral Chain stands tall as probably the weirdest surprise of them all. You’re a future cop fighting invisible ghost demons from an alternate dimension with your own invisible ghost demon chained to you through some high tech handcuffs. That’s just the first half hour of the game, and it ratchets up the anime nonsense many magnitudes over in the course of its 20ish hour runtime. And it’s great and stupid.

It’s not just the plot that’s over the top, though. Coming from developer Platinum Games, renowned for their nonstop super sweaty action portfolio, Astral Chain spends just as much time tasking the player with exploring its world, characters, and lore as it does asking you to punch enemies the size of skyscrapers (or bigger). It’s a formula that works shockingly well, as I found myself enjoying the downtime segments just as much, if not more, than the action portions of the game. And the action that is there doesn’t really play like your typical Devil May Cry or Bayonetta, either; the player character, while critical to pulling off combos and the like, is not your primary damage dealer, with that role being fulfilled by your five “legions” (the aforementioned ghost demon buddies), all of which have different strengths, weaknesses and abilities. The gameplay ends up feeling kind of like a realtime Pokemon game by way of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, and no sentence I’ve ever written has been as cool as that one.

I do think Astral Chain falls a bit short in the combat department, at least compared to other games in the genre. It’s a bit too simplified, despite how crazy looking and overwhelming the actions you and your legions end up doing can be, and I think that the obligatory Platinum-style grading system in this is very poor - it doesn’t seem to grade overall performance so much as it just wants you to constantly be switching your legions in the midst of battle. Which is a great lesson to teach your players, but I would also like if anything else about my combat performance seemed to have significant weight on my grade. Having said all that, it’s a flaw that I found much easier to overlook in the midst of battle when I sent my wolf legion ahead of me, biting and tearing its way through a cluster of enemies, while I hung back inside of my punching legion, finally able to fulfill my years-long Star Platinum “ora ora ora” fantasies.

5. Anodyne 2: Return to Dust (PC) - There’s a lot going on in Anodyne 2, and I fear trying to describe it in words, not only because of all the jargon I’d inevitably have to use, but also because I’m not sure I can do the game justice. To that end, here’s a brief trailer of the game to get you started:

If you find that trailer at all intriguing, Anodyne 2 is definitely for you. And if you’re still skeptical, know that the game has far more to offer than just its (beautiful) low-poly aesthetic. While visually it’s obviously most evoking Playstation 1 era games such as Mega Man Legends, in terms of the tone of its writing it strikes a pretty peculiar balance between Earthbound and Nier: Automata (names I do not invoke lightly!). The visuals aren’t just an aesthetic choice, either - throughout the game you find yourself in 2D overhead areas, solving puzzles inside of the minds of other characters, and these varying layers of abstraction serve to further the game’s message and atmosphere. And it’s all of these things combined that pushed Anodyne 2 over the edge of “memorable” and into the realm of “haunting” for me.

It’s a game that wants to be played and experienced by everyone; you can tell how much love was put into every single corner of the world, every line of dialogue, and each and every single goofy joke. Steven Universe (another seeming inspiration of the developers) is the only other piece of media that has reminded me of just how lost and alone I’ve felt at various stages of life, while choosing not to dwell on that and instead using it as a launching pad to remind me of just how far I’ve come. As the game itself says, Anodyne 2 is a game about life, and I’ve rarely come across one that felt so full of it.

4. Judgment (PS4) - With the release of Yakuza 0 a couple of years ago, the Yakuza games went from a series I was vaguely aware of in my periphery to maybe my all-time favorite video game comfort food. They’re silly, melodramatic, sad, and beautiful, tonally swinging back and forth like a large imposing guard wildly trying to hit Kiryu with a couch section. Most importantly, they manage to feel heartfelt and personal in an age where high budget games seldom feel anything of the sort. I was initially hesitant, then, to play a spinoff that threw aside its entire cast of established characters for a crew that dabbles in detective and lawyer work; I didn’t think there was much of a chance that this new band of very handsome crimeboys with hearts of gold would be able to compare to Kiryu, Majima and the like. How glad I was to be wrong, as Judgment is now maybe my favorite of the Yakuza games I’ve played.

By pulling further out (but not completely away) from the culture of organized crime as the central driving factor of the story, you no longer need to memorize a dozen different yakuza organizations and all of their subsidiaries and patriarchs within, nor do you have to try and remember which side is feuding with who. And that isn’t to say that the story doesn’t have just as many twists and turns; it does, and despite the larger scale of the stakes, ends up feeling more focused and personal. I also found it easy to bond with the two main characters, Yagami and Kaito, as not only do their personalities play off of each other very well, but they simply share more screentime together than I’ve ever seen Kiryu get a chance to do with anyone. Truly, the story ended up being one of my favorites in the entire medium, and I fell in love with the characters to the point where I got misty eyed during the credits.

With regards to gameplay, it’s a Yakuza game. Which means a lot of running around Kamurocho, talking and shopping and playing minigames and brawling. Since the player character in this entry is a detective, there are various mechanics and events related to the profession, such as investigating crime scenes and tailing suspects, but they’re by far the weakest part of the game, and you shouldn’t come to this game looking for incredible detective gameplay. Instead, come to the game for literally everything else it offers, because it’s a fantastic experience all around, and a great jumping on point for anyone unfamiliar with Yakuza.

*Image credit: Steam user Symbol

3. Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice (PS4/Xbox One/PC) - Frankly, I did not much care for Sekiro for the majority of my first play through. Specifically, I dreaded its boss fights. To go from the sheer joy of being able to dispatch a courtyard full of enemies in any way I pleased in the game’s relatively free form stealth sections, to being killed in a matter of two or three hits to every single boss and miniboss was frustrating; how could I not groan when I started that duel with Genichiro at the top of the castle, knowing full well that I was going to be stuck there for a few (or more) frustrating hours? It wasn’t until the fight against the protagonist’s father figure, Owl, hours later at the same location as the aforementioned Genichiro fight, that something clicked. It only took around 30 hours, but suddenly, instead of approaching the situation like a Dark Souls or Bloodborne boss, I was not only being defensive, but I was being aggressively defensive, parrying nearly every single blow. Suddenly it was me standing in place, baiting out my opponent’s attacks only to throw the force of his own momentum back at him. Suddenly combat made sense in this damn game. And suddenly I was dead again in a quick three hits after inhaling some magic gas that prevented me from being able to heal. But that was ok! Because suddenly this game was amazing, and suddenly I had completed it four times and adored every second of it (except for that fucken four form final boss with no checkpoints).

I still stand by my (and a lot of other’s) original complaint that the disparity between the freedom offered in the rest of the game compared to the unflinchingly rigid roadmap you have to follow in fighting the bosses is jarring game design, and it’s very fun to imagine a version of Sekiro that lets you approach bosses any which way you like. On the other hand, no other game that I’ve ever played, not even Sekiro’s predecessor and my favorite game of this console generation, Bloodborne, has come anywhere close to making me feel this cool when fighting bosses. And that’s a mighty impressive accomplishment on any game’s part, speaking from the perspective of an overweight, sweaty, hairy, very uncool man.

But really, fuck that final boss though.

2. Dragon Quest Builders 2 (Switch/PS4/PC) - When we were around 10-years-old, one of my best friends, Patrick, used to host fairly regular Lego-building sleepovers, where everyone built whatever they wanted, and our creations were then showcased to the rest of the group. Being that the group consisted entirely of pre-pubescent boys, this meant building various robots or cars, all of variable quality/ability to stand upright. During one of these nights, in lieu of the usual deathbot piloted by the ghost minifig, I instead constructed a little bunker for the ghost - a place where, after a long day of being forced (by me) to pilot his mech suit and commit unspeakable acts, he could hang up his ghost hat and be forced (by me) to ponder the morality of his actions. It was just a tiny little room with the necessities: bed, table, bookshelves and pizza, but when presenting it to my friends I proudly declared that the bunker was also located at the bottom of the ocean, a factor that couldn’t be visually represented due to the harsh limits of time, Lego pieces and my ability. I was pretty proud of my cool-down chamber, but if memory serves correctly, it was Patrick’s no doubt boorish creation that was the apple of everyone’s eye. And who am I to try and convince a room full of my peers that actually, a secluded room where you could read in peace for all eternity was much cooler than a punching gorilla bot?

This is all to say that I have never been a creative type, especially when it comes to building. I had previously played Minecraft and the first Dragon Quest Builders, and while I enjoyed them, there wasn’t quite enough there to make me want to engage with them on a level beyond just playing them like any other game - I don’t think I ever built anything in DQB1 that wasn’t required for the sake of progression in the main story, and the less said about my Minecraft efforts the better. Builders 2 expertly sidesteps this issue by wrapping its building mechanics around an engaging and hearfelt story (I got teary-eyed multiple times!), great characters (especially the main character’s mysterious best friend/partner in crime, Malroth) and a lovely localization. It also encourages more freeform building than the previous game by tying the progression of the story to the progression of your main, customizable island. You don’t ever really have to go off into the weeds on your own in regards to building, but the game gives you so many opportunities to fill in the blanks on premade templates that you eventually just become comfortable in doing so. It’s hard to stop myself from gushing about the game, to the point where as I type this I’m questioning why it’s “only” number 2 on this list.

And thanks to DQB2, for the first time in 20 years I revisited my first creative endeavor: the underwater solitude bunker, this time no longer held back by the technology of the day, instead fully realized in digital form. Built as far down as the game would allow my character to dig, hidden beneath the still waters of a reservoir inside of a pyramid, it is truly a testament to mankind’s ingenuity. And it is wicked. Naturally I had my artist (and DQB2 fanatic) girlfriend visit my game’s world so she bask in my true brilliance. I gleefully guided her down to the catacombs and down the intimidatingly long chain that dangled into the deceptively still depths. After a brief swim into the murky unknown, we arrived at our hidden destination at the bottom of the earth, where she was greeted by the sight of my submerged masterpiece. A wry smile snaked itself around my lips, as I knew, was absolutely certain, that within seconds, once she had made it through the de-pressurization chamber at the entrance to my paradise, I would be hearing the words of someone simultaneously shocked, awed, and hopefully only a bit jealous. Instead, I was met with a few seconds of silence followed by a patronizing “Well, I’d have never thought to build something like this.”

So, I guess that’s why Builders 2 couldn’t quite reach the number one spot: true art is never appreciated in its time.

1. Hypnospace Outlaw (PC) - No piece of commercial art has ever felt like it was made for me in the way that Hypnospace Outlaw does. I grew up on the internet during the time period this game’s alternate reality take on the 90s internet is drawing its inspiration from; I have talked at length, to anyone who will listen, about how this early incarnation of the internet felt more like a physical space than it does now, and how much I miss the days of stumbling on to weird Geocities sites, meeting people in AOL chatrooms, and the early days of pirating. I met my first girlfriend through the internet, as well as my current one. The vast majority of the friends I’ve made in my life would not have happened without the internet, and not just because of distance; the internet allowed the younger me to be the person I was too insecure to be in person, and to develop my own voice. I owe who I am to the people I met in freeware fanmade Dragonball Z games and IRC chat rooms, and I think that’s kind of fucked up and magical, and it’s all kind of a miracle that I’m not even more of a mess of a person than I am today. And the developers of this game have clearly had those experiences, too.

I’m not going to sit here and tell you that Hypnospace Outlaw is for everyone, because it’s absolutely not. It’s essentially a detective game, but you’re solving cases by investigating user made internet pages circa 1997, and the “cases” you’re working on are largely things like bullying and copyright infringement. In other words, you’re mostly just reading gaudy websites and figuring out more about the back end and exploits of the Hypnospace experience. It is incredibly specific and niche and, as someone that sorely misses staying up until 3 AM downloading Winamp skins, I can’t stop thinking about this game, even months later.

I wrote a longer piece on the game on this very blog, and instead of rehashing anymore of it here, I’ll just direct you that way. Though if I may, I’d like to give one last endorsement for the game for any hypothetical person reading this that’s on the fence about trying it - if you’re the kind of person that somehow finds yourself reading this game of the year list, and have made it this far down the page without getting bored, I promise you that you’ll find something to love about Hypnospace Outlaw.

Honorable mentions (for games that were either not originally released in 2019 or I still wanted to briefly touch on):

Dragon Quest 11 S: Echoes of an Elusive Age - Definitive Edition (Switch) - Somewhere in between listing the original release of Dragon Quest 11 as my 7th favorite game of 2018 and now, it went from being “a really great JRPG” to “one of the best games I’ve ever played”, and in all honesty should have probably been at the top of last year’s list. A beautiful, unmatched experience all around.

Overcooked! 2 (Switch/PS4/Xbox One/PC) - The Overcooked games are possibly the best coop games I’ve ever played by merit of them actually requiring communication between players. Framing the game’s mechanics around cooking food, a universally understood act, is brilliant.

Baba is You (Switch/PC) - This is the most clever puzzle game I’ve ever played. Hell, it’s probably the most clever game I’ve ever played period. What prevented me from truly falling in love with it was that every single puzzle after the first couple of worlds became the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to do in my life. And while that did make solving those puzzles equally satisfying, the thought of dedicating multiple hours each to stumbling through dozens and dozens more of single screen puzzles was a bit more than I was able to handle. Still, for any puzzle fans, there are some genuinely jaw-dropping moments in this that shouldn’t be missed.

Kirby’s Dreamland 3 (Switch/SNES) - The things I didn’t like about DL3 as a single player game are exactly what makes it a great coop Kirby game, which was a way to play this game that I never had the pleasure of experiencing until this year when it was re-released on the SNES Switch app. It’s skyrocketed up my list of favorite Kirby games, as well as become my favorite SNES coop game. Also, Gooey.

Kind Words (lo fi chill beats to write to) (PC) - I don’t quite qualify this as a game, as it’s more of a message in a bottle app with a very warm and charming aesthetic. But if you’ve ever wanted to anonymously reach out to strangers and tell them things are going to be all right while listening to some calming music, this is the thing for you.

Luigi’s Mansion 3 (Switch) - I have a deep, deep fondness for all three of the Luigi’s Mansion games (the GameCube and the original game were my first launch day purchases!), and 3 is by far the best game in the series. Every single moment of it was some high degree of charming and/or cute, and it’s a game I would feel confident in recommending to just about everybody. However, while I truly loved my time with the game and will no doubt replay it years down the road, there was nothing inside of it that really left any kind of deep impression on me. It’s a summer blockbuster in a kid-friendly spooky form, and that’s great for what it is.

Super Mario Maker 2 (Switch) - Mario Maker 2, sequel to what I would consider to possibly be the best game Nintendo’s ever made, is by far and away my most disappointing game of the year. It’s still an amazing toolkit, and I’ve been very satisfied with the levels I ended up making. That said, the gaming landscape has changed a lot in the 5 years between the original and the sequel, and with Nintendo’s nigh complete silence regarding updates coming to the game, I can’t consider it to be anything but a massive disappointment. And maybe that will change! But as of this posting, there’s been almost nothing to keep me coming back to the game a mere few months into its life, and that’s a huge problem. All of that said, it’s still a fantastic game and value, especially if (like most) you didn’t get a chance to play the original due to the console it was stuck on.

Photon Breaker Zechs: Through the Window

Chapter 2: Video games are best enjoyed with your friends. After composing myself from my initial shock, I realized I was able to call up the familiar menus and interfaces as I saw them in-game. A swipe of my hand and a little willpower would call up my inventory, status menu, skill tree, and anything else I could normally access at button prompt. Once I was aware of this, I tried to find the “Log Off” or “Exit Game” option but was unable to call up that one submenu despite having all others at my disposal. Silently cursing, I called up my friend list and saw a few active profiles – namely that of Deegal. If Dieter was playing, then I would at least be in good company to figure out the situation. If he was outside the game, perhaps he could give me valuable insight for how I would get out of this mess or, if he too were suddenly in a similar situation, we could at least bask in a shared misery. I tapped his name in my list and saw he was in Strattburg as well. Which was good, as this new body felt awkward, like I was standing on stilts that I couldn't remove, as they were now my own legs. I had made my avatar as tall as a Loppo could possibly be – not counting his... my... ears I believe the game told me I was about 6'10”, or about 8 inches taller than I was in the real world. This made my gait clumsy and awkward, so I wasn't in any rush to go bolting out of the village on some half-baked effort to find him. Then the options came up: Message, Voice Chat... Wait, voice chat? How would that even work without a headset or a mic, I pondered. Either way, it would at least work to grab his attention and I could think of something else. I pressed the option and heard a strange ringing sound, like a telephone I could hear but not see had begun to ring for him. After waiting for what felt like a small eternity, but was really just a few seconds, I heard the other side answer. “Hi?” I heard a... weirdly feminine voice chime in answer. “Uh, Dieter?” I hesitated. “Jake,” the woman's voice confirmed. At this point, the only thought that ran through my mind was, Hell with it. I'm just gonna roll with this. “Can you come over here? We have some things we need to discuss,” I tried to play it off like I was in control of the situation, even though it was apparent to all involved I totally wasn't. “Okay,” the woman's voice replied, “But there's one thing...” “What's that?” I pried, beginning to walk down the main street of Strattburg, moving my eyes from side to side as I went. “Where are you?!” they snapped. That confirmed it for me – female voice or no, that was Dieter's usual level of patience. I recalled he had made a female avatar and, while the idea repulsed me in every way humanly possible, I had to conclude that his vocal chords were now physically different, much as my legs were now. “We're both in Strattburg, so we can easily meet up,” I said, as reassuringly as I could. Just as the words left my mouth, my eye took note of a player character with green text over her – the color the player's text would appear to those on one's friend list. “Deegal”. That was her... or rather, him. “How do you know that?!” he barked. “Dieter, I can see you. Turn around,” I explained. He turned around, revealing his avatar as I recall him building her – a ludicrously voluptuous Floof clan woman, barely passing for PG-13 with a karate gi that seemed to desperately strain against physics and logic to stay covering her body. Like Neeku, she had pointed, animal ears atop her head and a bushy tail waving behind her – which I would later learn wagged when Dieter was excited about something – with brown hair and bright eyes. The fact that this form was easy on the eyes made me want to throw up a little. It made sense, of course. No anime-inspired MMO would make characters less than at least conventionally attractiveness. I recall I gave my own avatar ridiculously huge, flowing golden blond hair as a joke before it immediately was concealed below the bucket helmet that all Bunkers began with. Around this time, I noticed someone had been following me and with a quick glance I was able to identify it as Seamus. It wasn't hard, not only did the green nametag prove it, but also that, unlike Dieter and myself, he made himself a human avatar and then went to great pains to make it look as much like his actual real-world self as the system allowed for, though with some embellishments all his own. I silently wished he hadn't added the weird, whispy mustache to his avatar. It was creepy and unsettling but I didn't have the heart to say so at the moment. I nodded to him, a gesture he returned as we all seemed to arrive at the same conclusion. “Well, why didn't you tell me sooner?!” Dieter grumbled as he approached us. The call, once we stopped focusing on it, seemed to hang itself up. What a courteous invisible phone line. “I was trying to,” I returned with a half-truth. As if I had any idea what the hell was going on in the first place, “It seems we're all of the same opinion,” I trailed off, unable or unwilling to state the obvious. We made an odd trio, a modestly short, immodestly-dressed Floof woman, a towering giant made up of plate-mail to the point where my sex and species were, frankly, irrelevant, and a dark-haired anime protagonist with a long, flowing white coat and the mustache one would associate with wanted posters. We really could've passed as a trio of estranged characters from an anime. “Oh, hey, Dieter! It looks like you’re here, too! Fancy that!” He beamed with entirely too much enthusiasm granted our current situation, “I woke up from a cheese poof nap and here I am. I don’t think I’m dreaming, am I?” “No, Seamus, I don't think so,” Dieter frowned dramatically at his junior. Dieter always complained of Seamus's high-pitched voice, but I just didn't have it in me to tell him that was actually deeper now than it had been in years prior. Not that I think he'd believe that assertion anyways... “Oh boy! Does this mean you’re going to call me by my actual name from now on?!” Seamus beamed, pulling his hands up to his chest in surprise and elation. “Don't count on it, Zechs!” Dieter grinned, baring fangs, “Anyways, do you guys have any idea why or what we’re doing here?” Before I could posit my theory about Satan being alive and well in the world, or monkey's paw wishes, or gypsy curses, I was headed off by a newfound intruder, “Isn’t it obvious? You play the game,” a woman, clad in a flowy, purple robe approached us. “And... who might you be...?” I became incredibly aware of the weight of the warhammer slung over my back and felt a need to have it ready, just in case. Something about her just never did sit right with me, but I maintained my stance. “I’m the administrator of Slidelands. It is by my power that you’re here now, as you are,” she explained simply. The three of us stood opposite her, at a loss for words. I could think of nothing else but to beg for whatever she had done to be undone but before I could even get that far, it was Seamus, or rather his avatar, Zechs, who spoke first. “Whoo-hoo! Thank you! I love Slidelands, and now you need us to save the world or fight some great evil, or take on a nearly impossible quest, right?” he whooped with joy. It was everything in my power not to deck him for that. Dieter seemed to share my frustrations, but I held my silence, hoping that some good news would come of this exchange. The strange woman grinned slyly at us, “See? I knew it, ever since I met you, that you’d be perfect for my purposes,” She reached out, patting Zechs's shoulder, which would later cause Dieter to joke about it being 'the first time a girl touched him' but I awaited her answer with baited breath, “No, my dear Zechs, your task before you that I wish you to complete is to conquer this world. Defeat all others with your group and realize your potential as your titles as No-Life Kings,” I was visibly crestfallen – or would have been had my helmet not hidden my face – as I let out a sigh. Ultimately, all that told me was that we were screwed and she lacked either the will or ability to set things to right if we didn't cooperate with her sick little game. “That’s pretty flowery language,” Dieter observed, making a rude gesture with his off-hand. “That's hardly the problem here,” I growled, barely above a whisper. Come to think of it, I doubt anyone heard it outside my helmet... “It’s critical to your mission. Death has no hold over you now, not that you were paragons of life anyways,” the admin smirked in a truly obnoxious fashion. She held the power in this struggle and knew it too, the smug snake. I grit my teeth in response, willfully ignoring the inherent futility. Dieter folded his (her? Never mind. Not thinking about that anymore.) arms across his chest, “Is that so?” “I guess you’ll have to see!” she again grinned at us, “In any case, I hope you’ll enjoy and explore my world, and eventually, fulfill my task,” She then, without warning, faded from view, becoming little more than a hologram before vanishing completely. So that was our challenge. We were being asked to complete an MMORPG. She might as well have handed us a spade and asked us to count the grains of sand on a beach. Online games are, by design, endless. They are designed to be unbeatable, not because you'll hit a wall at the opposite end, but because you'll never run out of doors and hallways. As I said before, Slidelands has undergone over 15 major expansions and add-ons not to mention smaller bugfixes and minor content upgrades. Even if a player soldiered through the enormous swaths of content – or simply cherry picked their favorite bits and focused primarily on the story quests – the difficulty eventually begins to scale on a logarithmic basis, meaning no amount of grinding will ever be enough to satisfy the difficulty demands of the next steps. In short, you either undergo, frankly, ungodly amounts of side content, spending enormous amounts of your life doing quests that are, by and large, unnecessary, or you get hard denied by the obscenely high numbers of late game content. Most players simply reach a saturation point and drop off, stop paying their monthly fees, and allow their accounts to be soft-locked by the administration until they either pick it up again or delete it from their hard drives. Telling me to “beat an MMORPG” is akin to telling me to tear down Mt. Everest with a shovel. Doable only in theory. My theory-crafting train of thought was derailed when Zechs pumped both fists skyward and shouted, “Well! Time for us to explore, you guys!” His boundless optimism would be admirable, were it not so misplaced. Dieter mumbled something incoherent, prompting Zechs to ask him what was wrong. “I… don’t know how really to play this game,” he confessed. “You serious?” I was incredulous, “But you spent like four hours on it before, didn’t you?” “Well, yeah, but I spent most of that time actually making my character. I only actually played the real game for about twenty minutes. Well, twenty minutes after I finished the tutorial. I know how to use items and all, but I’ve seen combat tutorials online, and I am not ready to say I would wager my life on the byzantine, comprehensively dense pile that is Slidelands combat,” Dieter had a bad habit of stuffing 20 dollar words into 10 cent conversations, but it was a welcome change from the 2-bits one was more liable to receive in an MMO. But I digress. Placing an armored hand to the helmet-equivalent of my chin, I said, “Well, I guess the best way to understand it is to undergo it yourself, then!” “Hey, yeah, we can go out into the forests,” Zechs suggested, “You can level up and learn the ropes. We’ll be nearby and there’s nothing that could possibly hurt us there. Well, not hurt me. There are still elite critters who can give you a hard time, there, Jake,” I shot him a look, but I doubt the meaning found its mark as he just grinned in response. “Fine, fine, I suppose, if I’m going to be stuck here for the time being, I may as well get the low-down from the “expert” here. First things first, though, I, uh...” Dieter trailed off again, looking awkward for a moment. Again, Zechs had to prompt the follow-up, “I…uh, need to powder my nose, or whatever!” “Is that it, why didn’t you just say so? There’s one over there. Although, it’s cool. Why didn’t you just say you needed to go?” Zechs managed between his hysteric laughter. “Because dude or no, I’m not going to out and say I need to take a crap to you, Zechs,” Dieter demanded, then hurried off, clearly not perfectly in control of his new frame. “We have to use the bathroom in an MMO?” I pondered aloud. “Well, since we're in the game world now, I guess we still need to do those things. Y'know, like eat and sleep,” Zechs returned, “What are you gonna do with all those layers of armor when nature calls, anyway?” “Hardly seems like your concern,” I growled, “Moreover, I can just open the interface and unequip anything, as needed. Though I suppose since I can fiddle with the latches, I could do it the old school way,” I reasoned, best as I could. It's not that Zechs's logic was wrong. It's more that I just couldn't put my head around this 'world' being 'real'. As far as I was concerned, this world was a game, a 'fake' world that somehow impeded me from returning to the 'real' world. We stood idly. Or, rather, Zechs leaned against a fence and I practiced walking in my new body by pacing, trying to adapt to just how bizarre it felt to suddenly be as tall as I was. I had been the same height since I was 13 years old – to suddenly have 18 years of muscle memory pulled out from under me was quite a shock. “Sure is takin' her sweet time,” Zechs observed. “His time,” I corrected his nomenclature, aware of how much triggering that would cause, should it have been broadcast in the server's public chat feed. But honestly, I couldn't say I would've cared, as I tended to mute that when this was all just a game. “Looks like a duck, quacks like a duck...” Zechs giggled. “Eww. Gross. Barf,” I replied, “I'm putting a moratorium on that line of thought right now,” As I was practicing my steps, I felt one leg fail to connect and I went face-first to the ground. I sighed deeply as I glanced up towards a densely wooded area, just behind a nearby tent. I then witnessed Dieter walk into the bushes and... offer up a prayer to the porcelain god there. Well, never getting that image out of my head, no matter how hard I try. I pushed myself to my feet and walked back to Zechs, pretending I hadn't just seen that as Dieter quickly jogged back to us. “Okay, okay, I’m good, let’s go,” Dieter said, looking quite flustered. Zechs nodded and I offered Dieter an unheeded glance of pity. We ventured into the first forested zone outside the town, where Dieter had briefly started doing some simple quests and got to level 3 before losing interest in the game. Dieter was a Jetter, a class that specialized in speed and attack at the expense of all other stats, and it suited his impatient, impulsive personality type quite well. Explaining to Dieter the Three Rings Theory of party formation was just a waste of breath, as he would just rush all of his problems and hope that the limited sustain talents of the class could carry him. Not that Zechs was any better, but at least the Breaker wore medium-class armors and therefore could soak hits better. But what do I know, I'm just the party tank. I suppose now is the time to explain Slidelands and her namesake. Imagine a slider puzzle, made up of square pieces that can be rearranged to form a picture. That's how the map of the game looks, when taken as a whole. The game is made up of moving 'pieces' that follow set rotations, linked by warp gates at the extreme edges of each. On each tile are a series of zones, broken up into towns (safe zones), field zones (like the forest, where monsters spawn), dungeon zones (small, self-contained areas full of monsters and loot), and raid zones (essentially, super dungeons). If it sounds like this game has entirely too many systems crowbarred into it... well... you're right. Once in the forest, Dieter set to work, randomly punching and kicking critters, screaming his attack names like a man possessed. Or perhaps, a woman possessed by a man, I guess? I chose to ignore him in order to check a theory he caused me to consider. That, instead of using an interface, we could use our abilities by simple verbal command. Zechs and I tried this a little while Dieter sent furry bodies sailing through the air. I found a spot in the menu called 'Journal' I had previously ignored while playing the game where I could focus my thought on it and they would manifest as text memos. I thought about making a memo about it, but reconsidered when I realized it might come off as redundant. “So, uh, guys, I see some squares in my vision,” Dieter shouted over to us, “Whenever I do attacks they fill in. They seem to erase themselves after a few seconds, though?” “Oh, those?” I looked up from my memo, “Those are your Art Cells,” “And what are those...?” Zechs raised a hand to emphasize his point and began to explain, not unlike a college professor, “It’s a way that the developers found to halt the excessively fast attacks of the Jetter. In vanilla Slidelands, the Jetter’s actions were limited only by the action speed of the user. Because of this, people would overdose on coffee, ritalin, and sometimes… other things, in order to increase their reaction speeds and solo even the strongest known raid bosses. To counter this, the 1.1 patch replaced the Jetter’s action set with the Art Cells, forcing them to pause every so often and wait for further attacks,” “So, I got nerfed then?” Dieter balked. I rolled my eyes. Only he would view something that stopped players from actively breaking their finger bones as 'I got nerfed'. “Well, not really? This was back like… twelve years ago? I doubt you would’ve cared back then,” Zechs nervously grinned with a shrug. Dieter then went back to punching the squirrels as I briefly removed my gauntlets using the interface. “What're you doing, Jake?” Zechs pried. I silently grabbed a fistful of grass from the forest floor and let the blades cascade into the breeze as they wafted by. “I couldn't do this when it was a game,” I observed, seeing small amounts of the chlorophyll stain the white fur of my paw-like hand, “Weird,” “Uh, are you getting existential or something?” Zechs was clearly uncomfortable with this. I sighed. My attempts at parsing this world piece by piece was soundly defeated by someone who simply chose to embrace a world with no real accountability like a manchild. “Uh, guys? I found this weird monster statue. It also has a weird exclamation point over it,” Dieter shouted over to us. “Monster statue?” I wondered, sliding through some of the in-game menus in front of me over to the in-game encyclopedia, a disgustingly comprehensive guide to anything one is liable to encounter in the game. After using the search function, I found it. “Ah. Here it is. It must be a Master Statue. Given location, probably the World-Devouring Ogre subclass,” Oh, right, subclasses. Those are yet another means by which to customize your characters. You can level them up to your heart's content, but you can only have one active at a time – thereby only receive the stat bonuses of one at a time. Broadly speaking, these fall into one of four families: crafting, collection, combat, and hobbyist. Crafting classes, like blacksmith and seamstress, create useful tools, weapons, armors, and other things adventurers can immediately put to use. Collection subclasses, like miner and woodcutter, are for the gathering of raw materials. Since raw materials will be used in recipes well into the endgame sections, there is always a demand for their services. Combat subclasses, like the World-Devouring Ogre and Vampire, supplement combat talents and can even grant additional combat skills. And hobbyist classes, like Beekeeper and Qwibon Rider, each have unique abilities all their own. “Are you sure?” Dieter called back. “Yeah, dude,” I returned, re-equipping my gauntlets, “You like massive damage dealing, this subclass’ll give you that. Go for it!” I looked back down to my memo-to-self as I jotted down my observations. “Wow, look at them go,” Zechs admired, evidently watching Dieter's battle against low-level fauna with great interest. I hummed a reply, wondering vaguely if our memos could be seen by other players. Last thing I'd want was for some passers-by to read that I had been sucked into a game and assume I was crazy. “Up and down and up and down and...” Zechs chanted rhythmically for a time. “Uh-huh,” I managed. “It's like watching gelatin bounce!” he sputtered and salivated. “Yeah, well, I would assume... Wait, gelatin?” That was what commanded me to look up at the fight again, as Dieter was dancing furiously against a crimson-colored critter. I then watched on as it sunk its teeth into Dieter's arm and I saw a green bar sink slowly downward and change to an equally-red color as the monster in question. “The hell?” I whispered. I watched as he activated some buff or the other, punching the critter out of the air and throwing it back as it unleashed a mortifying scream. “Dieter! That cry! That’s a roaming boss! Oooh, I was afraid of this!” Zechs exclaimed, running towards our companion, “Don't worry, we'll help you!” A boss? Surely Zechs had misspoke. Could boss-tier monsters spawn in the very first field zone?! I briefly pondered just how sadistic the devs of Fairy Land were in their design philosophy, but then I remembered these were the people who sent a giant crab riding atop a giant turtle after Neeku and I for sitting in the shade for too long, and I quickly pursued after Zechs. When I caught up, I bent down, halting his advance, “No, no. He's... he's got this. I think,” He and I took a step back to watch what would happen next. What unfurled next was a truly impressive and acrobatic display of combat prowess. Not hindered at all by his new physique, Dieter deftly dodged and dished out damage with deadly devastating decisiveness. I was legitimately impressed. At one point, it seemed like he had the monster on the ropes and would force it to retreat – many monsters in the game were actually given pretty advanced AI routines to dynamically react to how a battle was going – but Dieter would not grant it the opportunity. He brutally grabbed it out of the air and began squeezing the life out of the thing by crumpling it into a ball as it was originally a piece of furry origami art. And, much to my horror, stuffed the thing in his mouth and ate the damned thing. I don't know if it's the fact that the taste of paper triggers my gag reflex or if I was just too stunned to even comprehend this, but I just stood there, stunned at the display. Dieter then turned to us, a crazed bloodlust burning in his eyes as he unleashed a fell and terrible howl, throwing his head back like a wolf. Just in time for his oversized chest to follow-through and bash him in his own face, throwing him head-first to the floor below. “Whoa,” I heard Zechs admire, barely above a whisper. I sighed and walked over to my stunned companion and glanced down at him. He blinked a few times, presumably trying to shake the haze off, as he groaned, “C-can you help me up?” he weakly offered. “Got a bite to eat and you think you could take me on?” I chuckled, then gestured with my free hand to the area on my helmet where my mouth would otherwise have been, “Oh, you got some Critter in your teeth,” I heard him mumble his reply, “Oh, good. I could still take you. I'm level 75 now!” “Oh, well, that’s good.” I nodded as I called up my menu before my hand and flipped a few settings, “However, still, let me put my profile on public,” Windowz, Proton Bunker, Level 237. “Oh. Wait, levels in the hundreds? What the heck is up with that?!” he grunted, in a way not entirely dissimilar from how I had reacted to the same realization. Zechs walked closer to us to explain, “This is a MMORPG, and one of the worst about grind. Of course this game is going to have a stupidly high level cap. In fact, in the fifteen years that Slidelands has been up and running, no one has hit the level cap. Ever,” I didn't have it in me to mention I heard previously heard rumors about the game's level cap going up with each expansion, either, so I simply assisted Dieter in getting to his feet and helpfully said, “Here, let’s get you back to town,” Not long after, we sat down in the biggest tavern of the first town. I was skimming menus still as we found a table and sat down together. I admit I was only half-paying attention as Zechs and Dieter engaged into a conversation about the latter's recent stat point gain and his wanting advice on where to distribute them. Like there was any doubt, since the min-maxing scrub was already following a meta build I had heard of – where the Neutron and Jetter had insane power/speed builds that had surprising amounts of self-sustain. It struck me as absurd that he'd follow a guide and then suddenly stop midway in. In the back of my head, I could hear Neeku's condescension of “But... but the meta!!” I chuckled when the thought crossed my mind. My focus returned midway into the discussion with Zechs gawking, “So, you're telling me that you made a nearly perfect min-maxed character without trying to do so?” “I guess?” Diegal shrugged. “Wow, man, just, wow,” Zechs shook his head in disbelief. “Like you have room to talk,” I scoffed, “Your build is a Photon Breaker, a middling all-rounder 'Tron alongside a middling all-rounder front line combat class. Face it, Zechs, you're a jack of all trades, master of none,” The Photon Breaker lacked major, crippling weaknesses, which made it noob-friendly and a 'safe' choice for the noncommittal sort. “So? What's your build then?” Deegal challenged. I sighed, pressing the tips of my gloved fingers together before my helmet. I opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off, “Dude, you seriously need to take off your helmet. At least in here. You can't be a big, scary space marine guy all the time!” I sighed again. I guessed he couldn't see my nonverbal cues and figured he might have had a point. I yanked the bucket off my head and shook my sweaty hair free as it carelessly tumbled down around my head. As I mentioned earlier, my hairline in the real world was... unsatisfactory. So as a bit of an in-joke, I gave my character a ludicrously massive pompadour worth of blond hair that flared a bit in the front, in traditional anime-esque fashion. Deegal made a strange face at me, perhaps surprised I was playing a loppo race, but allowed me to speak, “I, Jake,” I deliberately hammed up my delivery, “am a Proton Bunker. Proton is a physically inclined 'Tron, while Bunker is the epitome of defensive field control and enemy direction. I ensure that enemies focus on me and me alone,” He nodded wordlessly at me, but seemed a bit startled by something. He knew I played a tank, so I guess it was the loppo thing. Weird. “Here are your orders, sirs and madams,” the waitress stepped over to our table. She smiled at me, almost apologetically, as she spoke, “The, erm, meatball sandwich for you, sir Loppo,” “Indeed,” I chirped merrily, “Excellent!” I was excited at the prospect, having not eaten at all this day and, frankly, I figured fake food could tide me over until I figured out what was going on. Right up until the blinding, searing agony surged through my entire being with a force that felt as if a heavy weight boxer had just checked my solar plexus. Every iota of willpower in my entire being had to be forced to a singular point in the back of my throat to stop myself from vomiting what contents may have been in my stomach prior. I spat out the sandwich in a mixture of feral terror and mortal shock. What the hell had just happened?! I cursed and sputtered desperately. I think I managed to get some words out, but couldn't swear to it at the time. Zechs shrugged and grinned nervously, “W-well, buddy, I didn't want to tell you this, but Loppo, your rabbitman race, are all strictly vegetarian. They can't digest meat, like at all,” I struggled to recover my breathing as Dieter riotously cackled at me, “Hey, can you get my friend a new sandwich, with... Hmm. Kale, pickles, oh, lots of pickles, lettuce, and tomatoes? Oh, and some carrots on the side, too?” I barked something obscene under my breath that, in retrospect, shouldn't be transcribed here. As if I need to explain further, I don't care for bitter tastes or certain textures – of which the above order falls neatly under. The only reason I didn't say more was because I stopped to run my tongue along the tops of my teeth. In the front were pronounced, sharp teeth for cutting. Next to them in the human jaw would be canines – designed for tearing. But in place of them were flattened teeth, like a vegetable-eating species would have. I was unsettled by this, to say the least. The waitress was uneasy, simply giving us an, “Okay,” before pulling something from her pocket, “Oh, and before I forget. I was told to give this to you.” She then handed Diegal an envelope. Out of reflex, I shot her a nasty glare, indicating that her presence was no longer welcomed at our table. I then extended the same to the laughing hyena-bitch who sat opposite me. I must have said something, as Diegal fired at me, “Don't hate me, hate yourself for opting for a vegetarian race. I'll be taking your sandwich, now, too,” As he slid the plate across the way. “You wanna fight?” I whispered, as I felt Zechs grab my shoulder, clearly telling me to knock it off. I knew he was right but in that moment, I was pretty mad, to put it gently. “Who's it from?” Zechs cut me off. “Does it matter?” Dieter shrugged carelessly. I snatched the letter from him and opened it forcefully. I scanned it for a second before reading it aloud, “Dear Zechs, Windowz and Deegal, My apologies for earlier. I didn't realize I hadn't installed proper toiletries for you before. Hopefully, everything is fine and dandy now that the latest patch-mancy has been implemented. Well, I wish you luck and hope for your success, Sincerely, Administrator Catalina Ur-Grafzou,” As I finished I thought back to what I saw and decided to take jab back at my dear friend, with the opening now presenting itself, “Wait, toiletries weren't implemented before? What the heck? Was everything right before, Dieter?” I saw the color drain from his face, “Uh, sure?” he offered, biting into my sandwich anew, “Why do you ask?” “Oh,” I hummed, “No reason. It just seemed odd she'd send us a message for that if everything was fine before, but whatev—Ohgodammit.” The waitress returned, having taken Dieter's faux-order seriously. I swear to whatever demon rules over this world, the NPCs were just as stupid when I was trapped with them than when I skipped their dialog with the Escape key. I said some... words one really should not say to someone in a service industry job to make her leave. The weird part about it was... I think I made the NPC cry? I told myself it was a trick of the lighting. Nothing that rock-stupid would happen in this world. My appetite completely destroyed by what just happened and my enthusiasm a distant memory, I put my mug to my mouth to the good old reliable taste of city tap water. Well, it tasted like the tap water of the town I lived in. I stopped halfway. This is all fake anyway, so who really cares? I reasoned. Diegal and Zechs continued talking but I had stopped listening. It was immature and stupid and I should've let it go, but I sat there and stewed in my anger instead. Setting my cup down, I interceded into their conversation, “Anyways, enough of this stupidity, let's get out there. We need to get ourselves up to snuff so we can complete this dumb quest thrust on us,” I went to stand, only to see the damned waitress was back again, but this time to hand me a bill. God damn NPCs... I fished for the coins, dropped them and cursed the brainless AI one last time for good measure. Afterward, we were heading back to the Forest of Beginnings. Putting my helmet back on and getting to move around freely helped me burn off some of the stress – in addition to the primitive catharsis that was smashing monsters who we hopelessly outclassed in single blows. I must say, it made me feel pretty cool to know I'd come such a long ways in a short time, for what it was worth. However, the resounding gong of falling hammer blows came to a stand-still – in fact, all three of us did – when we heard a sudden cry: “He-e-elp!!!” “Did you all hear that?” Dieter cried out. “It's coming from ahead of us, by about a mile,” Zechs reasoned with startling levels of precision. Dieter seemed to think so too, as he shot back, “That's pretty impressive. How did you figure that out so quickly?” “Oh,” Zechs sheepishly grinned, “I took ten levels in the Stalker subclass, and I can track anyone I've ever messaged, and that's coming from one of my friends.” Dieter and I awkwardly exchanged glances as I offered a shrug, “All the more reason to help. Let's go!” I brandished my hammer and shield, as something occurred to me. An odd bug I discovered in the game due to my particular build. And it didn't take long for my friends to notice it either. “Uh, Jake, man? You're, um, how do I put this... You're running backwards,” my floof companion offered. “I know. Because I can't move that fast forward. My armor load is too high for my weight bearing, and so my walking speed is cut in half. You could give me a five minute head start and you'd probably still beat me in the hundred yard dash as I am now. However, movement speed doesn't factor into defensive evasive maneuvers, so...” I trailed off. I learned the trick while goofing around, finding my back-step dodge command, which was technically on a 1-second cooldown, moved my avatar faster than walking forward. Weird ninja-solutions to these kinds of problems were lauded by Fairy Land developers and, thus, usually were not patched out. He seemed satisfied with my explanation, “I see, then. Well, don't hit any trees.” I swiftly explained a talisman I used for 360 vision. While the game was viewed 3rd-person style, wearing certain equipment would have secondary effects and bucket helms would shadow the world behind my character as a means of expanded role playing. The talisman in question was a reward for tank classes who reached certain level thresholds and did a particular questline. But it worked for my needs. Which is good, as we soon ran into a complication in our impromptu search-n-rescue mission. There, at a lake somewhere near the forest's center (where subsequently stronger monsters tended to gather) was a Boss monster. Zechs broke the awkward silence, “Oh, geez. I didn't realize it was the new moon,” There before us, center of the lake was a truly impressive sight to behold: from the waist up, one could be forgiven for mistaking it for a 30 foot tall woman, blessed by her creator with an unnaturally acute beauty and an otherwise-inviting smile and posture. The devs even rendered her a belly button, which barely floated above the waterline. However, there was no mistaking the lower half for what it was – a terrifying amalgamation of aquatic animal body parts. Where hips should have been was the body of a cuttlefish or a particularly sponge-like snail, with tentacles extending every which way not unlike a squid. Around the water's edge were smaller, cuttlefish-squid monsters, called Lesser Omens, patrolling nearby. When Dieter demanded to know what the lunar phase had to do with anything, Zechs shouted back, “That's because that's the only time that this monster, the Neptunine Omen, appears. Be on your guard, Dieter!” “Yeah, yeah, I've seen enough weird Japanese porn to know what to expect if I fail,” Dieter, in a bout of infinite class, responded coolly. Surrounded by the Lesser Omens, there stood a lone adventurer: a Squerran female who looked to be some sort of mage-class based on her ill-fitting, baggy robes that made her already-petite frame look even smaller. My natural instinct was to protect her first, but if we broke rank and got swarmed, we wouldn't be doing her any help at all, so I motioned for Zechs to stay close as we advanced. I dropped my hammer down atop a Lesser Omen as Zechs stayed by my side, slashing wildly at the slimy little piles. I figured we could stay in standard 3-Ring formation and force the upper hand by weeding out the smaller ones faster than the big mama could generate them. Dieter, of course, had other plans. She leaped over us, sailing into direct contact. Zechs briefly reached his free hand out, as if to call for him, but I motioned for him to... let it unfold. There was no use in trying to stop him now. “Dude, if she dies, there goes my chance!” my short friend hissed at my side. “It was funny the first time. Now it's just creepy, man,” I shot back. I had to admit, his surprise attack gambit caught the boss off-guard, so I saluted Dieter somewhat for taking initiative. Or, rather, I did up until one of the tendrils grabbed him around his midsection and began slamming him to the ground, much akin to the old Saturday morning cartoon slapstick sketches I used to watch. I admit it: I smiled a little. “I'll help you!” The Squerran girl suddenly started, “I call upon the Gnosis of the Soldonna! Tiny Puttirim!” I glanced over just in time to see a tiny, cherubic angel figure appear and began shooting small jolts of lightning into the horde. This served to provoke every last one of them – including ones that I had previously focused on me – as they dog-piled onto the poor thing. As I looked back to see Dieter's health (unsurprisingly in the red) ticking downward, as he unleashed a roar, fell and terrible, as he proceeded to tear the tentacle from its original owner and began bashing the lessers into oblivion. I was a bit at a loss as I watched the scene unfold. Just then, I heard the boss's low laugh echo again and looked her way, just in time for Zechs to take to the air, slashing wildly. Before I knew it, he had pureed a hole straight through her, dropping the boss where she floated. “WHOO-HOO! Oh, yeah, Dieter! Good job on distracting her so I could finish her off!” Zechs cheered wildly. “What?” I heard Dieter barely mumble. “You think you won? Lady Neptune will devour your... guts,” the barely-hanging-in-there boss gurgled. Feeling the day's mounting frustrations and my own helplessness mounting up, I whipped out my hammer and proceeded to exert all those feelings all over the boss's skull, quickly demolishing it into a semi-consistent pudding-like mixture. “My heroes,” The Squrran mage teased as she approached us. Zechs took it to the mug like a champ with a big grin, “No worries, there, Errin. Say, how have you been?” She shook her head, “Not terribly good, I'm afraid. At first, I was enjoying myself being so immersed into the game, as I was collected quite a bit of excellent data, and then... I realized I couldn't get out. Is this what they call losing touch with reality?” “Dude, who is this?” I asked, leaning down closer to Zechs. “Oh, my apologies. I am Dr. Erin Sanderson. You may call me Erri or Errin, too, if you prefer,” She introduced herself politely. I was considering why the name rang a bell, but Dieter beat me to it. “Really?! You know Erin Sanderson?” he growled. “Is that a problem?” Zechs squeaked. “She only wrote the most inflammatory documents on the internet, only after that one guy who wrote the hilariously incendiary 'Everything you like is shit' trollpost,” I had heard of her. I had actually even watched a couple of her ZoomTube videos where she talked about social systems in games. Sure, I disagreed with her take that every game needed social elements crammed into them, but I didn't find her all that offensive. Compared to how my day had been so far, I considered her a step up. “Yes, well, please, forgive Seamus, or Zechs. He was quite a gentleman to help me before as he did, and now. He has been invaluable to my research into online interactions, and now, what with this bizarre happenings before me, I'm sure his help will be invaluable once more,” “Now, you need to fill me in,” I offered. I wanted to hear the other side too, just to be sure I didn't step into a minefield. “I'll tell you when we get back to town. I need some new clothes. I got squid slime all over these ones,” Dieter wrinkled his nose in distaste. Which was fine by me. I was already exhausted after the day we'd had.

Like Oh 2.0 - #BESTLEADERJBDAY

Previous Chapter: Happy New Year Word Count: 2,886 Summary: It’s JB’s birthday as well as a fan meeting in Taiwan! He invited Melanie and of course Melanie drags Serena along as she can’t go to these things alone.

Like Oh 2.0 masterlist

it’s here! jb’s birthday especially within the new year. um... just two more chapters and the story is complete. the relationship status of the couple is slightly a little more clearer as well. but yeah, um happy reading and kthxbai, Admin Lia~

"I still can't believe we're really here." Serena stated in awe as she and Melanie sat among fellow IGOT7s at GOT7's fan meeting held in Taipei, Taiwan at the Taiwan International Convention Center. "Of course." Melanie laughed. "For his birthday he wanted me here." "Well, you could've come by yourself." Serena deadpanned as she adjusted the ahgabong onto her other wrist. "You know I don't go to these things alone. Besides, I'm pretty sure your man wanted you here, too." Melanie teased as she elbowed her sister playfully. "Don't try to deny it since we're gonna go to LA on the the twenty-ninth." "Sure." Serena dismissed her sister as Melanie laughed.

~~~~~~~

The fan meeting was going well with many things already happening. The sisters found out that Jaebeom's parents were there as well and sitting among the other fans in the audience. Serena teased her sister by saying that Jaebeom probably wanted her to meet his parents, too, which made Melanie rolled her eyes at her sister's words. Still a heart thumped hard against her chest at the mere thought of it. Anyways, GOT7 opened with the Chinese version of Let Me and then Prove It afterwards. Then the group did their greetings and introductions while also speaking in Chinese for their fans and showcasing their language skills. Everyone greeted Jaebeom with a 'happy birthday' in Chinese when it was his turn. Jackson skipped over Mark so he would be last to say more words compare to the other members.

After that they then played charades with the fans before their next two stages of Boomx3 and Just right. Once both performances were done they went into their first talking ment with BamBam leading the crowd to do a wave of sorts. Later GOT7 answered post-its from the fans with majority of the questions being directed towards the leader due to his birthday. The other six were acting and singing cutely towards Jaebeom due to his birthday as they knew he couldn't deny them with Jackson going first, followed by Jinyoung, and then Yugyeom who grew embarrassed during the segment. Next was Youngjae being his typical cutie self and then by BamBam shoving a heart in Jaebeom's face. Finally Mark ended it with his cutesy self and later his high-pitched voice saying 'JB' made him stop from continuing.

Jaebeom thought it was over until Youngjae read a post-it where a fan wished Jaebeom a happy birthday, but wanted to see the leader's aegyo causing the older male to become fluster and everyone else cheering for Jaebeom to do it. Eventually giving in, Jaebeom did it after psyching himself up with the help of Jinyoung telling him to do it while facing towards a specific camera. Jackson's announced the next post-it note that he had chosen that wanted Jaebeom to do a sexy dance and Jaebeom pointed out that his mother was in the audience. However it just caused Jackson to egg the leader on even more as Jackson asked for the music to play and 'Prove It' came on. Jaebeom seemed embarrassed and shy, but nevertheless he went with it and his mother even signaled him with a heart above her head to encourage her son and even showing a thumbs up afterwards.

Following that act Mark's sticky note requested for Jaebeom to do the 'I'm So Sexy' dance, and the leader did it alongside Yugyeom by his side. Next was Jinyoung's note where he chose one that wanted Jaebbeom to sing and he did, but for not that long must to dismay of fans and even Melanie who wanted to hear more. Luckily, Jinyoung wasn't satisfied with it and Jaebeom sang a little longer and a bit louder where the fans even waved along to his singing. Some more things happened with Youngjae reading for Jaebeom to do another sexy dance while showcasing his English speaking skills as the fan had written in English. Later BamBam read another for the leader to dance to girl group songs. Jaebeom didn't want to do either, but with the members pestering him he once again gae in finally danced to Red Velvet's Dumb Dumb as the song had randomly come on.

Some more fun happened with Yugyeom picking out a note requesting for yaja time with BamBam and Yugyeom having lots of fun with this little segment much to the dismay of the older members. Luckily, that was the last bit for the sticky note board and they moved on with GOT7 performing two more songs which were Fly and If You Do next. Then came the special project from IGOT7s which was dedicated to Jaebeom for the idol's birthday where they had prepared a special video. Within the video also had Jaebeom's mom delivering him a heartwarming letter which caused Jaebeom to shed a few tears upon watching it. A moment later the birthday cake was presented while singing the happy birthday song before GOT7 ended the fan meeting with their title song, Hard Carry.

~~~~~~~

Melanie and Serena actually returned back to Taipei 101 Sparkle Hotel once the fan meeting was over to rest before heading home later the next day. As much as the sisters wanted to stay and hang out with the group, but they couldn't just walk up and have access to the backstage without having to explain this and that. In the end the sisters didn't bother with Melanie sending Jaebeom a text that they had left back to their hotel instead. Anyways, once the sisters were back at the hotel Melanie went to shower and Serena changed clothes before lying on her stomach to upload her fan-cams onto Instagram like she usually did after such an event.

Some time later Melanie got done showering while cleaning out her ears with q-tips as Serena was a third of the way of uploading her fan-cams onto her social media account. Both sisters were chilling on their respective beds as they re-lived the fan meeting experience like they always did. "I think you got some serious competition, Mel, because Jackson was seriously all over Jaebeom." Serena commented with a chuckle upon seeing one of the many moments of the two together as Melanie laughed in agreement. "I know right. He'll always be his number one fan." "Still though, I hated Jinyoung's hairstyle even though he looked handsome as always." Serena complained as Melanie shrugged indifferently. "That's just you." "Yeah, basically."

The duo continued to talk before becoming silent to do their own thing in comfort. Serena continued uploading one minute clips unto her Instagram with Melanie later changing into something more casual cozy instead of staying in her tank and shorts. Serena eyed her sister weirdly upon hearing Melanie moving around the room more than normal. "Um, where you going?" "Dunno yet. It's a secret." Melanie laughed not facing her sister while putting on light make-up. "You gonna meet up with your idol boyfriend who's now my ex-bias?" Serena cooed as Melanie cast her sister a playful look. "Maybe." "Then have fun and hope you guys get to eat cake or something if you do."

Serena went back to paying attention to her mobile device when a knock sounded from their hotel room's door a moment later. Melanie went to answer it while gathering her things and telling her sister that'll she back soon. Serena replied with an 'okay' and heard muffled talking, but she wasn't really paying attention as the door clicked shut afterwards. Serena was still lying on her stomach and uploading the last few videos on her Instagram when she felt one side of the bed dipped a second later. She turned her head to see what had caused it and was surprised to see Mark sitting there with a silly smile. Unconsciously, she scooted away from him while sitting up, placed her phone off to the side, and eyed him suspiciously. "Um, why are you here?"

Mark reached out to take a hold of Serena's hand. "I can't visit my favorite home girl?" Mark chuckled as he tugged her forward and Serena wasn't expecting him to do that and she lurched forward almost falling into his lap. "What are you trying to? You're not supposed to be here in my hotel room alone like this!" Serena panicked as she scrambled away from the male in her flustered state while Mark laughed. "Relax. I was messing with you." Serena stopped her fussing and glared at the idol. "Haha, not." She mockingly stated to him as Mark continued to smile wider at her behavior. "Go back to your hotel and hang out with your members, Mark." Serena told him as she began pushing him off the bed. "Some of us are trying to be regular fans here and upload fan-cams for others to see."

Mark stopped her by wrapping his arms around her once they were standing. "Why are you trying to kick me out when I just got here?" "Because I can." Serena reasoned as she unconsciously wrapped her arms around Mark. "Fine. You can stay. Is JB coming back with my sister though?" "No, Serena. He kidnapped her." Mark joked as Serena slightly hit him with her fist as Mark laughed in response. "You're not supposed to make jokes about Melanie like that." Serena scolded him. "Only I can make jokes like that about my sister." "Whatever you say, Serena. Now, let me see what videos you be uploading about me." Serena scoffed as she pulled herself away from Mark. "Excuse you, Mark, but I record everyone and not just one person." "Maybe you should change that?" "Nope. Not happening."

~~~~~~~

Jaebeom and Melanie wandered the streets of the Linjiang Night Market, also known as Tonghua Night Market, as it was close by to the hotel. This night market was more local and not many tourists frequented the spot so it was easy for the pair to walk freely hand-in-hand despite their get up as they scanned their surrounding. Although neither spoke Chinese they didn't let that deter them from having a good time with one another. Upon the beginning of the street Melanie spotted the fried steam buns stall and tugged Jaebeom towards the delicious smelling place. The duo were in luck as it wasn't that crowded and were able to order quickly. Luckily, Melanie learned enough Chinese to order food when she came with Serena last night when they explored the night market.

"I really love the dumplings and the buns." Melanie told Jaebeom as she ate between both items as Jaebeom laughed while eating the bun first. "This is really good." "Because it's steamed on top and fried at the bottom. That's why it's super delicious." Melanie informed him as the duo continued their walk when Melanie smelled something stinky, but knew what that could mean after finishing both of her dumpling and bun. "Let's get stinky tofu, Jaebeom." Melanie suggested as she pulled the idol towards the stall. "Do you really want to eat that, Chaewon?" Jaebeom asked after finishing his food as well. "I do. Unnie and I tried the deep fried one last night."

Jaebeom was hesitant due to the smell, but it turned out to be good in the end. "Okay, Chaewon, it wasn't that bad." Jaebeom admitted as Melanie grinned while eating her own. "Haha, I know right." The two continued on when Melanie spotted another familiar cart which was another stinky tofu one, but Jaebeom told her no. The duo continued on when they spotted Lou Rou Fan across from the second tofu cart. "Ooh, this one is super delicious as they have the fatty pork juices mixed in with the rice. We should order some meatball and daikon soup, too." Melanie said excitedly as Jaebeom laughed, but patted their hooked arms. "Whoa, Chaewon, calm down. We still have the rest of the stalls to check out." "Oh, haha, well, let's just tried the pork rice for now then."

Once done the couple moved on down a few more stalls where they enjoyed the different types of egg tarts at another stall. Jaebeom was disappointed that the seller didn't have just a strawberry flavored one, but Melanie had him try one with a matcha green tea crust. Another with a chocolate crust and even one filled with caramel filling to just bring up his mood from not having just a strawberry one. Before leaving, Melanie also purchased a black sesame flavored one and a mango cheese which Jaebeom told her she had weird tastes although he wanted to try the flavors himself and Melanie smirked at him.

Melanie and Jaebeom soon came upon a bubble milk tea shop where the male idol got his strawberry fix while Melanie got herself a pistachio and almond flavored one. They talked and finished their drinks before backtracking back to the hotel until Melanie remembered that there was one more place that they should visit as they made a left down Tonghua Street to stop by Gua Boa where they served their classic dish which was pork belly sliders. Of course they had other fillings, but Melanie ordered basic one which was the pork belly with pickled greens, parsley, and peanut sprinklings from the last time she had it with her sister. Jaebeom really enjoyed the sandwiches that he order another set for him and Melanie before leaving back to the hotel.

"So is this our second date?" Melanie asked the idol with a teasing smile as she and Jaebeom were close to the hotel. "Yes." Jaebeom smiled. "Yes it is. Thank you for coming all the way to Taipei for my birthday, Chaewon. I know you didn't have to, but I really appreciated it that you did." "You're very welcome, Jaebeom. I couldn't miss your birthday again now that it's a new year since Jyongri unnie and I celebrated the other boys last year." Melanie reasoned with a smile. "Besides, it was another excuse to attend your guys' fan meeting concerts." "So are you here because of me or because it's just GOT7 related?" Jaebeom asked with a serious tone as Melanie chuckled and planted a kiss on his cheek. "Both."

"Okay, fine. Still means that I'm part of GOT7, anyways." Jaebeom said as he pecked her on the lips quickly while Melanie shook her head with a smile as the two entered the hotel and were now outside Melanie's hotel room. "Thanks again, Chaewon. I'm sorry you couldn't meet my parents though." "It's okay, but I still think it's a little too early for that anyways, Jaebeom. Don't you think?" Melanie told him with a shy laugh as Jaebeom cupped her face lovingly. "I guess you're right, Chaewon, but one day for sure since I think y'all would get along." "I would hope so, but one day, Jaebeom, but not today." She agreed as the two shared one last kiss for the night. "Now, need to get Mark hyung and we'll get going." "Okay."

The duo entered the room and saw that the other pair were asleep within each others' arms. "This is so cute and funny." Melanie whispered as she brought out her phone and took a picture while Jaebeom looked at her confused. "Why is this cute and funny?" "Because unnie said she would feel bad for the guy she's with if she did these couple things and here she is doing it despite what she claimed she wouldn't do. So I got proof that she was bullshiting me this whole time." Melanie grinned while examining the photos she had just taken. "I don't know if I should be worry or not." Jaebeom chuckled as Melanie grinned at him. "Don't worry about it."

"Alright, I won't if you say so." He said as he rubbed his neck nervously while looking at the sleeping pair. "Um, should I wake up Mark hyung or should you wake up Jyongri noona?" "Oh, yeah, right. I forgot about that." Melanie remembered as she put her phone away. "I'll wake up her so she can wake up him." Melanie did just that and Serena stirred awake as she sleepily looked at her sister. "Back already?" "Yeah, but JB and Mark need to get going." "Okay." Serena turned to face Mark as she shook him awake. "Five more minutes." He groaned as he nuzzled his face closer to Serena causing her to laugh softly. "Sorry, but you need to get going."

Mark groaned, but got up as Jaebeom took a hold of his member to keep him steady. "Good night and take care." Serena bid them as Melanie walked the two out. "You're not gonna give me a goodbye kiss?" Mark pouted as Serena chuckled with a shake of her head. "No." Mark quickly rushed back to Serena and stole a kiss before running out of the hotel room with the other two laughing as Serena smiled at Mark's action. "Good night, Jaebeom." Melanie bid him a good night as Jaebeom did the same. "Good night, Chaewon. Thanks again." "You're welcome and I hope you had a good birthday." "I did, especially thanks to you. Sweet dreams and take care." "Same to you." The two share another small kiss before Jaebeom joined Mark at the elevators to return back to their own hotel and the other members.

Story of Another Us | Week 13

university au, platonic af, now on ao3!

previous chapter | masterlist | playlist

A long term plan with short term fixes

Having anxiety disorder means that sometimes you’re not able to do what you want. Sometimes you have to sacrifice things for your mental health. Sometimes it’s the other way around, but it’s not always for something you want. There are times where you have to sacrifice your mental health for necessary everyday things like answering the phone, going to the store, and even driving to places that make you deeply uncomfortable.

I wasn’t exactly sad that I was missing PAX East this year. While I did enjoy video games from time to time, and while I did support my boyfriend and what he did, conventions weren’t my scene. Okay, that’s somewhat of a lie. I really wanted to go, I just hated the method of transportation: flying.

Yeah… no. Being stuck in a small space in the air for an extended amount of time is absolutely terrifying. That single fear has made me turn down several opportunities. I couldn’t go to Playlist Live, I couldn’t collab with several major makeup brands, and I most definitely couldn’t go to any PAX.

Just driving the boys to the airport gave me heart palpitations and sweaty palms. I wasn’t even going on the plane, why did I have to be such a baby about it? I wasn’t even brave enough to go inside the damn building to see the boys off. I parked the car in one of the loading zones in front of the entrance and got out to say goodbye.

“You sure you’ll be fine?” asked Mark, who went to get the luggage out of the trunk.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it,” I replied, ignoring the disbelieving looks from Matt and Ryan. At least they saw me for what I was: a mess.

“Just call me if you need anything,” Mark told me. Things I’ve heard before. Things I probably wouldn’t do unless I was actually dying.

“Okay.” Empty promises.

The tension had gone down slightly over the last couple of weeks. Mark was okay with letting Jack live at my place, but Jack was still weirdly silent and tiptoeing around everything. I wondered how they would survive the weekend together. I wondered if any fans would notice the bad energy. I wondered if they would know it was my fault.

After getting out their luggage, Mark closed the trunk. “Okay, well. Our flight takes off soon, so we’d better get going.”

I went to hug my boyfriend, who was surprised at the gesture. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, giving me a little squeeze.

“I’ll miss you,” I told him sincerely.

“I’ll miss you too, babe.”

I let him go and then I hugged Jack goodbye. Again, he was strangely quiet, but I didn’t know what to say to him either. I couldn’t really say anything without fearing that Mark was going to give him shit about it. I didn’t want to send him off onto another fight with Mark. I was already worrying before they even left.

~

Almost as soon as I got back to Mark’s empty house, I got a phone call. At first, I thought that one of the boys had forgotten something, but then I looked at the caller ID. It was Sophie, which was a little shocking. I rarely spoke to her outside of YTU, and I did not have the energy or courage to answer, so I left my phone face down on the counter and went to tend to Chica.

The afternoon was spent playing with my boyfriend’s dog and then editing my latest video in my boyfriend’s room. Chica sat at my feet, chewing on a bone. That was the only noise throughout the house, aside from the voices of myself and Jack on the computer.

Watching back the footage of me and Jack was rather entertaining. You wouldn’t think that there was something else going on behind the scenes. You couldn’t tell that we were feeling guilty or sad. In fact, this was a side of me that my audience rarely saw.

The Bella Santiago in this bleaching/hair dyeing tutorial was smiling. She was enjoying herself, she was laughing with her friend. She wasn’t ranting about politics or equality, or sweating from getting so fired up. I couldn’t remember the last time I was so upbeat in a video. It was strange.

“Now, I haven’t bleached or styled hair in a while. So if you end up bald, then forgive me.”

“Should I be worried, then? You’re actually Googling how to do this!”

“Shhh, no te preocupes, I just have to refresh my memory.”

The whole video was just banter. Two friends laughing together and having fun. Of course, the Internet was going to take it differently, but we had that coming regardless. There was always going to be someone who hated me for being around Jack and someone who wanted me to replace his current girlfriend. That’s just how this life was. There wasn’t much that could be done about it.

I kept editing until I had to take Chica outside. It was nearly dark by then, and I had a sudden spike of energy. I was scrolling through my phone, rapidly going through my Twitter feed. I was singing to myself too, something I was listening to in the car on the way back from the airport. Then I saw a promoted tweet for Demi Lovato’s latest single, Stone Cold. I was humming that to myself for a good while. Then, I figured, I had the house to myself, and Mark had a guitar and keyboard here somewhere.

I brought Chica back inside and then got right to work. I dashed through the house, grabbing lights and a camera. I set them up in front of the couch in the living room, all while warming up my voice. Finally, I grabbed the guitar from Mark's room and practically ran downstairs to my recording area.

Ironically, I didn't start with Stone Cold. I was playing a different song, Airplanes, on the guitar, and next thing I knew I was singing it.

“Most of my life, I sat on my hands I don't make a sound Getting it right, I made all my plans Lost, never found”

Somehow I always found a song that I could relate to. It was the only way I could express my feelings without outwardly talking about them. I didn't know how to name my emotions either, according to Helena, so singing songs was a healthy outlet.

“Airplanes cut through the clouds Like angels can fly, we'll never die Sirens cut through the night Like screams set on fire, rising up high I've got something to prove, nothing to lose In this city, in this city, oh”

When I finished that song, I was in a different mood. I set the guitar aside and went to stop recording. Thinking, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and looked through my music. I had to find something. Anything for me to attach whatever I was feeling to. I started tapping my foot anxiously, and nearly jumped when I found the song I needed. If I could sprint while carrying expensive camera equipment, I would have. I was careful but quick going back up the stairs to where the keyboard was in Mark’s room.

“Okay, okay, okay,” I whispered, my mind buzzing so hard I couldn’t properly focus. “Okay, okay, new shirt, new shirt, okay, okay…”

I yanked off my grey tee shirt and put on a black crop top. Then I went over to make sure the camera was recording and that the lights were on. Everything was set, so I took my place at the keyboard and played the song.

I sang. I made it through a Little Mix cover before I started shaking. Then I made it through my Demi Lovato cover and everything was fine until it wasn’t. We all know that was bound to happen.

~

“Bella Santiago, age twenty three, admitted to psych after having a two hour long panic attack and a psychotic episode,” reported a nurse to a doctor.

Surely I had to be sedated. There were two people talking about me right in front of my face and I didn’t feel the dull ache in my chest or the flipping of my stomach. I just lied there in bed and listened, keeping my eyes fixed on my feet. I was itching at my arms incessantly but I was generally complacent and well behaved.

“How are you feeling, Ms. Santiago?” asked the woman in the white lab coat, Dr. Starr.

Hmm, tough question. Too much pressure. My eyes widened as if she had asked me to murder someone.

“Well, let’s check your pulse,” she said, probably reading my ugly, unstable body language.

Hesitantly, I gave her my arm and she placed two fingers on my wrist. Fast. Panicky. Why couldn’t I be dead?

Once Dr. Starr saw my arm and the redness, she ordered for the nurse to prep me for some tests. Then she asked me if I was allergic to anything, or anything that could have caused this “rash.” I played dumb and said no. They were already prepping the medical stuff, so it was too late to mention that it was an anxiety thing. When situations got really drastic, I just scratched at my arms as if they were very itchy. It was rare, and for some reason, this was a drastic situation.

“Now, is there anyone you want us to call in the meantime?” Dr. Starr asked me once her medical talk with the nurses was over.

Mark. But he’s been in Boston for twenty four hours. He hasn’t had much time with his fans or his friends. I couldn’t take him away from that or have him worry. He was probably still mad at me too.

“No,” I replied shortly.

Dr. Starr tilted her head. “No family? Close friends?”

“I have no friends, and my family want nothing to do with me,” I mumbled, now pickin at my nails.

“Well, your family must be wondering where you are…”

“They haven’t wondered for five years.”

Uncomfortable silence.

“I see,” the doctor concluded. “Well, Ms. Santiago, can you tell me what were you doing before this happened?”

Here we go.

“Singing,” I replied. “Then I started panicking. I thought I was dying, or that I completely lost it.”

“Have you been hospitalized for panic attacks before?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Well, we’re going to be monitoring you for the next couple of days.”

I could only hope I would be out of here by Monday. I wasn’t even sure how bad I was anymore. Surely they wouldn’t make me tell them who to call. I wasn’t suicidal, I didn’t intentionally harm myself. This had happened before, and I was alone, then too. This wasn’t anything to worry about, right?

The nurse didn’t let me go on my phone. If it wasn’t for the TV, then I really would have lost it. I couldn’t be without some kind of distraction. I couldn’t even figure out what exactly made me go here. According to the people here at the hospital, I had a psychotic episode. Or maybe I told them that. I couldn’t really remember.

Blood was drawn from me a little bit later. Me, being me, I cried. Test results stated that I had no type of skin rash. It wasn’t until Dr. Starr got me out of bed and to a psychiatrist’s office within the hospital did I actually reveal that it was due to anxiety.

“How often does this happen?” the psychiatrist, Dr. Francis asked. “Have you ever gotten these itches treated before?”

“No, it almost never happens,” I replied. It was getting easier to talk to people around here. Maybe it was the sedation. Or the fact that he was qualified to handle me made it more comforting. “Last time I was in the hospital, I was itchy too, and it was because of anxiety.”

“Okay, well I can prescribe something for that. Maybe a low dosage since it happens rarely,” he said, writing on a clipboard.

Oh no, medication talk. I never wanted to take medication… says Bella, who has never had a mentally stable day of her life and wonders why.

“May I ask, why you didn’t have anyone call someone for you?” Dr. Francis had questions I did not want to answer. Why couldn’t he asked me about my maladaptive behaviors or something?

I hesitated. “I don’t have anyone.”

“No parents or siblings? A boyfriend, perhaps?”

I shook my head, avoiding eye contact.

Dr. Francis sighed. “Forgive me for being forward, Ms. Santiago. But I have a daughter who watches Markiplier.”

God fucking shit of a fuck.

“I’m not in danger of killing myself or harming myself or anything,” I said. “I don’t think there’s any reason to notify him. He’s on the other side of the country right now, anyway.”

“Do you feel like you would be bothering him if you told him?”

“He’s just so busy, and we just got over a fight we had. I want everything to stay perfect.”

“What exactly is he busy with right now, Bella?”

“He’s at a convention in Boston. He’s doing YouTube stuff, and I don’t like to interrupt him. Like, it’s just me and my anxiety again. It’s just repetitive and kind of unnecessary.”

Dr. Francis asked me more questions, and the more I talked, the more I realized how crazy I was sounding. Turns out, I wasn’t buying makeup because I loved makeup. I bought things to fill the sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction in my life. I sang excessively because I couldn’t bear the thought of facing my actual feelings head on. I wasn’t constantly tired from walking around campus, I was just severely depressed. I didn’t want to tell Mark I was in the hospital because he was busy, it was because I was depressed I felt like I wasn’t worth his time.

It’s not like I wasn’t aware of all of this, it was just a tough pill to swallow. And now because of it, I really did have to take pills. I had to make friends with a little lady called xanax.

When I went back to my room, the nurse let me go on my phone. I was cooperative and unproblematic, so I got a small privilege. I sent out a tweet talking about how productive I was the last couple of days, which wasn’t really a lie. After that, I checked my text messages. All of them were from Mark.

“We landed! How are you?” Sent at 3:04PM.

“Had a meeting, then went to dinner with the gang!” Attached was a picture of Mark, Jack, Matt, and Ryan. They were sat at a table in a restaurant with Bob, Mandy, Wade and Molly. Sent at 10:11PM.

“You’re awfully silent. Everything okay?” Sent at midnight.

Now it was time to lie. Well, sort of.

“Hi! Sorry for not replying!! I spent literally all day filming! I made three whole videos! I went to sleep right after haha hope you’re having fun at pax!!” Accompanied by several emojis so nothing seemed fishy.

I wasn’t lying. I did spend a majority of the day filming. I didn’t feel as nervous as I normally would have, thanks to the xanax. I had next to no problem giving my phone back to the nurse, not even waiting for a response from Mark. He was probably too busy to answer me anyway.

_______

next chapter

Rocky IV

Rocky was impervious to it all. He and Drago were toe-to-toe, silently assaulting each other with psychological weapons. If looks could kill...

This book is bad. I’ve never been terribly familiar with the Rocky movies. I watched Rocky IV for the first time right before I started reading this masterpiece. The film is a somewhat baffling mess, and some of that mess is weirdly fixed by this book. There are so many minor and major differences between the book and film, it’s hard to believe Sylvester Stallone wrote them both. On the other hand, I haven’t found evidence of a ghost writer, so why not?

So, having finally watched the film, the first thing I wanted from the book was any small attempt to make sense of the fucking robot. There is none.

A robot walked through the door. It was about five feet tall and rolled on wheels. In its outstretched arms it held the flaming birthday cake. A perpetual “Have a nice day” smile was painted around the microphone box on its face. A pink ribbon was tied decoratively around its square head.

So, the description is a little different from the actual robot, but that’s the least of my concerns. They give the pathetic, lonely, alcoholic Paulie a robot as a joke because he doesn’t have any friends. At first he’s annoyed, then he uses the skills he must have learned at the slaughterhouse to reprogram the robot to talk with a breathy female voice while on a constant mission to supply him beer. In Las Vegas, he’s sad he didn’t bring the robot. After he loses all his money on slot machines and blackjack, he talks to a prostitute but laments losing all his money gambling, and he’s sad he didn’t bring the fucking robot. You can just go ahead and assume he’s jamming his dick into some part of that robot. 

While Paulie is losing all his prostitute money gambling, Stallone supplies a perfect example of the kind of bad writing that loads up this short book.

A chair opened up at the table. Paulie decided that a change of games would help his luck. He sat down and bought twenty dollars’ worth of chips. If you’re gonna do it, might as well splurge. He put a two-dollar chip in front of him. The dealer drew the cards out of the shoe. Paulie got a ten and a king.

What table? Yes, I suppose a change of games would at least make a more interesting time than cheap slot machines. Is twenty dollars splurging? How broke is Paulie? Wait, how does he make money? If you’re gonna do it, you might as well cliche. A two dollar bet is not a splurge. Oh, it’s a blackjack game. You could have called it a blackjack table in the first sentence instead of “the table.” This is a major casino in Las Vegas, not an illegal casino in the basement of a bar.

And so Sylvester Stallone’s writing is filled with paragraphs like this. Sometimes pronouns are not clearly defined, because they’ll switch who they refer to or they just won’t clearly refer to anyone. There are so many cliches I should have kept count.

A few hookers loitered in front of the bar, but Rocky didn’t recognize any of them.

So, after the robot nonsense, the next most obvious thing I wanted from this book was the book version of the montage. This film is notorious for its use of montage. I timed the montages. There are four montages in the film. After fighting with Adrian, Rocky has a driving montage. There are two separate montages when Rocky is training in Russia. And then there’s the montage to skip twelve rounds of boxing in the Rocky-Drago fight. I think people might think of the James Brown music video in their estimation that this movie is overloaded with montage, but it’s really not a montage. It’s a music video.

Anyway, the four official montages amount to fifteen minutes and seventeen seconds. The end credits roll at eighty-four minutes. If you take out or just severely reduce the length of the montages, the movie is just less than seventy minutes long. If you want to argue that the James Brown music video counts because it is unnecessarily inflating the film’s runtime the same as the montages, go ahead and cut off another two minutes and forty seconds. Either way, this film is short enough without discarding fifteen-eighteen minutes. In the book, James Brown is absent. Apollo Creed’s entrance is a normal paragraph.

Suddenly the band started playing again. It was a lively, raucous tune. A side door to the ballroom opened and a troupe of scantily dressed chorus girls holding small American flags entered. They were followed by Apollo with Rocky at his side. Behind them were Duke and Paulie. Apollo was dressed as Uncle Sam in a red, white, and blue suit complete with a top hat. The ballroom thundered with applause. Well-wishers tried to swamp the group as they made their way to the ring, but the polite, yet firm security men kept them at bay. Their job was made harder by Apollo. He kept reaching out to shake hands. When he reached the bandstand he jumped up and down in time to the music. The applause became so loud that the band itself was drowned out. Rocky shook his head in wonder. Who says you can’t go home again? Apollo was doing it.

After that, the driving montage is completely replaced with actual story. Rocky doesn’t drive around thinking about the shit that happened in the first three films. He tries to convince the United Boxing Federation to allow him to fight Drago, and forfeits his title when they refuse. Paulie wrecks Rocky’s car. The mayor of Philadelphia pays to restores Goldmill’s Gym so Rocky can train somewhere familiar. Two officials from the State Department try to convince Rocky to cancel the fight. They have statistics that prove he can’t win. Shitty Paulie tries to convince Rocky to hit Adrian regularly so she’ll learn some respect. It’s not all good story, but it’s so much better than the driving montage.

The only montage that really makes it into the book in a way that feels like a montage is the training-in-Russia montage. The film breaks it into two by having a short scene when Adrian joins him. The montage just eats up most of the penultimate chapter and it looks like this:

This is the book version of a montage. Even with Stallone’s basic writing, it works.

Rocky turned into the camera’s glare. “Get that light off him!” Duke grabbed the man by the belt and jerked him away from Rocky and Apollo. Rocky cradled Apollo’s head in his arms. “Hold on. You can do it. I know you can. Just hold on.” But Apollo let loose and flowed into legend.

I am still so very confused by some of the differences between the film and the novel. The first thing I need to address is a bit tricky. In the film, which as I said rolls credits at about 84 minutes, Apollo Creed dies at about 32 minutes. The novel is 156 pages long, and Apollo dies on page 101. This means that 2/3 of the story in the novel is contained in the first 1/3 of the film. This would almost explain the abundance of montage in the remainder of the film if it weren’t for all the story Stallone left out of the film but still put in that part of the novel. The novel tells a far more even story and I would sincerely like to know what went wrong when Stallone filmed the damn thing. He clearly thought about the gaps in the story and filled them in with the novel. Even accounting for the montages after Apollo’s death, how did he get more runtime out of the last 1/3 of the novel with objectively less story?

Would you like to know more about Ivan Drago? It’s in the book. Read up on his background and how he started boxing. However, there’s also something in the book that would probably have him in jail. In the film, Apollo’s death doesn’t look like deliberate murder. When the fight is technically over, Drago stops punching and starts reciting the English he’s been told to recite. It’s sort of chaos. The book, however...

Rocky grabbed the towel and quickly threw it in the ring. Drago was still punching. Apollo rocked savagely with each blow. It was amazing that he could still stand. “The ex-champion is out on his feet. He’s being pounded without mercy. Balboa has just thrown in the towel!” White yelled gratefully. As soon as he saw the towel the referee stepped in and tried to separate the fighters. Drago paused again to look at his corner. Rimsky nodded grimly. Drago pushed the referee aside and delivered a final blow that could be heard over the din of the crowd.

Murderer. The fight is over and he pauses to look at his handler before punching Apollo one last time. It would be hard to argue that Drago wasn’t ordered to kill Apollo, what with all the cameras around. The rest of the story would be quite different then.

I want to address one last thing that I think gets lost in the James Brown and montages and Ivan Drago, and that is Rocky Jr. Unlike Die Hard, no one thinks of this film as a Christmas movie. You should add it to your Christmas viewing, honestly. The final fight takes place on Christmas Day. That’s enough. But what about Rocky Jr.? Think about the story from his perspective. For his entire life, Apollo was Rocky’s best friend. He probably called him Uncle. He watched Uncle Apollo get murdered. Then his dad is going to Russia to train to fight the same person that murdered Uncle Apollo. And that fight is going to happen on Christmas Day. Then his mom left to join his dad in Russia. Who’s taking care of him? It’s the housekeeper you barely see in the movie, not that either film or novel mentions it. Stallone didn’t think to address the fact that Rocky and Adrian abandon Rocky Jr. at Christmas. In the film, you see a few shots of him watching the fight with a couple friends and Paulie’s robot. The novel at least has the housekeeper instead of the robot. This is, by far, my favorite Christmas story now. Who are the friends that watch the fight with Rocky Jr.? How did that get set up? “Hey, I know it’s Christmas and your parents probably want to spend it with you but do you want to come over and maybe watch my dad get murdered by a 7 foot tall Russian?” In the novel, Rocky doesn’t even say “merry Christmas” to Rocky Jr. at the end of his speech.

Rocky Junior couldn’t take his eyes off the television set. Was this really happening to his dad? Was this what boxing was about? It was horrible. He wanted it to end. He wanted his mother and father home. “Your dad’s getting smashed,” a friend said quietly. Rocky Junior blinked, but the picture didn’t go away. It was real, not a nightmare.

Yeah. This book is bad and you should absolutely read it.

Also, Adrian is pregnant in the book, and Rocky tells Paulie this right after Paulie tells him to hit her to teach her respect. Her pregnancy is entirely forgotten after that though, and it is not an issue when she travels to Russia to watch her husband possibly get murdered. It just isn’t mentioned again. Just something to think about. What a Christmas story. Buy paintings so I can buy more paint to paint more paintings