#it really makes artists not want to do anything when there is zero engagement
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It’s a dreary, drizzly evening that calls for streetlights earlier than usual, their light straining weakly through the thick mist off the bay, and as I glance down at Ivy with droplets of rain beading on the halo of frizz around her plaits I consider the fact that she was right, a jacket wouldn’t have been the worst idea.
The lights are on early at Michelle’s house too, the voile netting over the netting in the living room window not giving anything away inside, just the vague shapes of whatever is on the television.
As always, the door is off the latch, and inside Jen is leaning against the counter by the toaster spinning a butter knife in her fingers. She gives me a wary look when we see each other. “She’s in the living room,” and holds her hand out to Ivy, “Hey Ives, do you wanna hang out with me for a little while? C’mere, oh, who did your hair today? Was it your brother? Yikes, okay let me have a look at this…”
I gingerly push through to the living room, where Michelle is engaged in an intense discussion with both of her parents. She’s slumped on the couch with puffy eyes while they stand with their backs to the fire, glancing at me with alarm as I enter the room wielding a bar of chocolate, which, in hindsight is a bit of a pathetic celebratory or consolation prize.
“Hi.”
“Oh good, Jude,” Rahim beckons me over to the couch to sit with Michelle, and I take her hand, “can you tell her that this is not the end of the world?” He’s saying, voice tinged with impatience, “There are plenty of other opportunities.”
“Zero, huh?” I say gently, and she shakes her head, arm trembling as she passes the letters to me. One, two, three rejections. I read one of them briefly, from Paris.
“‘...unimaginative and containing cliches…’ wow, that feels a bit harsh, doesn’t it? I don’t think they needed to be all like that about it.”
She breaks down in tears, “I’m a terrible artist.”
“No, you aren’t,” I skim through the one from Berlin, “Look, they’ve said here that this year’s application was their strongest in history. Don’t beat yourself up about it.”
“I just feel so stupid.”
“What? No, you’re the furthest thing from stupid.”
“Michelle, there are other options,” Rahim practically pleads, “Why don’t you go back to the application portal before it is too late and put down something more reasonable?”
Debra agrees, “This is what we’ve been saying, Michelle, maybe art is wrong for you. See? You shouldn’t have changed your mind in the first place. There’s a good reason you decided against it-”
“Yeah well I want to do it now, don’t I?” Michelle snarls, swatting tears away from her cheeks, “Jude and I are doing this together, it’s already decided.”
Her mother eyes me warily before deciding that I should probably hear this too, “Love, you know it’s not always a good idea to make big life decisions based on your boyfriend. Nothing lasts forever.”
“How could you say that?”
“What happened to veterinary science, hm? Wouldn’t that be a good career?”
“I wanted to be a vet when I was like, seven, what are you on about?”
“Or she could be a doctor, like me!” Rahim attempts, but this is only met with a fresh barrage of sobs. I rub my girlfriend’s back uselessly while the chocolate softens inside its wrapper against the heat of my leg.
Debra is looking at me empathetically as I comfort her daughter, as though she and I have some connection now, like a baton has passed through some small exclusive club for people who have held Michelle while she cries. “How did you get on with your applications?”
“Oh, um, yeah, I got in,” I feel guilty even saying it but Michelle doesn’t really react to the news, as though she already made an assumption, but I jump in to finish quickly before she can make another. “I won’t be accepting any of them, though, I mean, obviously. I was only ever going to move away if Michelle was coming too, and, you know, unless London works out then that won’t happen.”
Michelle kneads her eye with the heel of her hand, “Did you not get the email?”
“What email?”
“From the London school.”
“Uh, no, I just saw the letters.”
Her eyes widen, “So you didn’t see the NCAD email either?”
“Since when were there emails?”
“Oh my God,” she’s on her feet then, all of her misery forgotten in favour of urgency. “Go and look right now, what the hell?”
“Love,” Debra attempts soothingly, “it’s probably better if Jude checks his emails on his own, isn’t it? The last thing we want is for this to set you off-”
We’re already running for the stairs, her behind me prodding my back the whole way up in a way that feels like she’s forcing me to walk the plank to my untimely death in a tank of piranhas. We burst into her room and she runs to navigate to gmail while I sweat despite the temperature of her room, which is always kind of cold.
I log in and the page loads up to two new emails sitting brazenly in my inbox.
“There they are, click them!”
“Michelle I just want to say that-”
“Oh, come on,” she seizes the mouse and clicks for me, first the one from London, and her voice is flat, “They accepted you. No surprises.”
“It doesn’t matter though, does it? If they didn’t accept you too then I’m not going.”
“Mm.” She immediately clicks the next one, from NCAD, “It’s just points,” she mutters in explanation, “So it all depends on our leaving cert,” scrolling, she reaches the bottom of the email where my points sit, undeniable in a bold black font against stark white.
I feel her stiffen. “One thousand?”
“Uh, wow, is that good?”
There is a long pause. “Jude, that’s literally maximum points.”
I can’t bring myself to look at her right away, but I feel her eyes on the side of my face, searing holes through my skin.
“I thought your interview went badly.”
“Yeah me too!”
“Well then-” she breaks off to make some noise that’s somewhere between a scoff and a sob, “then how did you get such ludicrously high points?”
“Like what I said, I suppose. They were arseholes to everyone on purpose,” I spin around to her, “What did you get?”
“Four fifty.”
So I grab hold of her hands and hold her very tightly and very still, I want to seem sure, “No matter what happens, we’ll be okay,” I promise, “Even if none of this works out for you, I’ll still be right here, do you hear me?”
She nods.
“I’m not going anywhere without you. God, I mean, why would I even do that? You’ll get NCAD off the back of your leaving cert points, I’m one hundred percent sure. And... even if you don't, I'll stay in Dublin.” As soon as I say it I start feeling nauseated, and dizzy, a bit heady like I’ve inhaled some miscellaneous gas from the science lab, but I fight through it, “fuck all of those stupid plans for going abroad, right? I’m here.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m serious.”
“I know.”
“Okay, c’mere,” I pull her into me and hold her tightly, taking in the smell of her hair, the way her narrow shoulders, her birdlike frame softens in my arms and accept that this is the comfort I will rely on from now on. True, it’s not always easy with Michelle, but we really do love each other. Sometimes love is work, but love is rare and worth holding onto with both hands and your whole heart. All those plans I had, I think, they were misguided, a youthful mistake. Perhaps at some point in the future I can move to Amsterdam, or Paris, or Berlin, or London, and do something creative and exciting, but not now. That’s what I’ll do in ten years, when everything is different. I’ll make sure to tell Sam.
Who did I think I was, really, trying to do all of that at eighteen? Now is for this, for Michelle. For doing something right.
“I love you,” she says, and I wonder, with her cheek resting against my chest, if she can somehow hear the way my heart tightens as though grasped by a fist, or how my breath catches in my throat when she says it. I’m surprised by the rising feeling that I might start crying, but I force it down.
Crying over what, Jude? I sneer at myself.
Yeah, that’s what I thought. Something stupid, as usual.
Beginning // Prev // Next
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I've been in a creative slump lately, and I think I finally figured out why, and I want to share because maybe I'm not the only one.
So AI is here. And fandom engagement is wayyy down. And it feels like there are a dozen different ways that you're devalued as an artist/writer/any kind of creative person who makes and shares stuff. I've seen people talk about the lack of engagement and positive feedback, and that's definitely a trend as well and doesn't help. But there's something else at work as well.
I thought I was just burned out, maybe a little depressed, but I actually do have creative energy. I do stuff all the time. I'm full of ideas. It's only when it comes to fanart and fanfic and basically anything I'd share online that I sit down to do it and immediately want to give up and fall asleep.
I think I finally know why. What happens is, I make a thing, I share a thing... and it's met not with hate, or silence, but with demands for more. Every fic writer has probably run into this, the comments that just say "more please" or "when will you update". We all hate it. It makes you want to never update again. But when it's only the occasional comment, you shrug it off, maybe complain to your friends, done.
But I feel like it happens way more nowadays. It's a general shift in attitude. People do it with everything now. I like this thing, give me more of it. And I kind of get it, but also, I don't. Not to the extent it's happening at the moment.
The textbook example for me is still Rogue One. People loved it... and demanded a sequel. For Rogue One. A movie in which every single main character dies at the end, and which leads literally directly into A New Hope. What would a sequel even be about? The five minutes Leia spent running from Vader? It makes zero sense. The sequel to Rogue One already exists, it's called A New Hope and it came out over forty years ago.
But they didn't think about that. They didn't give a moment's thought to what a sequel could be, they just wanted more.
And as the person who made it, that reaction tells me a) you didn't pay a single ounce of attention to what I made because you're asking for something that makes no sense and b) nothing I make is or will ever be enough. The reaction is always "make more".
And that is just demotivating as hell. If nothing I do is ever enough, why even try? I might as well give up. If posting something means I'll have people demanding more, it's better I don't post anything. There's also, I think, a part of me that has her arms crossed and is refusing to make any more stuff for those people. But that's a small part of it. Most of it is honestly just an overwhelming feeling of wanting to give up. Which explains why it feels so much like depression.
So we've got this environment where people just demand more and can never get enough, and don't even really appreciate what they have because they're too busy demanding the next new thing. And it's not flat-out hate, I know some people will even insist it's a positive - after all, would I ask for more if I didn't like the thing? - and that's what's made it so hard to notice what's happening. It's like the attitude just sneaks into your brain and poisons you from the inside.
So I think this how I got to where I'm at currently. I hate it here. I hate sitting down to draw or write and immediately going "meh". I'm going to work out getting out of it. I can't change people, so I'll have to find a better way to deal with the situation, a way to keep it from doing this to me. I don't know how yet, but that's the next step.
I just wanted to share to see if it resonates with anyone, if anyone else feels like this? I only started figuring it out yesterday when it sort of hit me, so maybe it doesn't entirely make sense yet, but yeah. That's where I'm at.
#idk how to tag this really#artist woes#would love to hear if anyone feels similarly#or has any solutions even#do NOT want to hear from anyone who insists it's meant with love#or whatever#because tbh it doesn't matter how it's meant#my feelings are my feelings#and i'm sick of people trying to argue them away
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One thing about OCs and the internet is that nobody cares about your original ideas. That's not to put anybody down, it's just the truth. They have no context for these stories, worlds or characters, so they don't have any reason to devote attention to them unless you catch them at in the perfect mood and manage to wow them with your post.
The thing is: the amount of people who care will remain at zero if you never post anything. If you want people to love your stories and OCs, you have to put them out there. They'll be ignored a thousand times, but someday you'll probably get five or so people who love your stuff. (And when I say five or so, I mean it. I have over a thousand followers and you can see for yourself what the engagement looks like on my OC posts)
So really. People who have been doing this for years still don't have swarms of asks and fan art and people thirsting over their OCs. Only the already popular artists get that and they usually get there by making fan art or just having expert quality work. So stop discouraging yourself over getting the normal engagement numbers on something original. It just doesn't get traction and that's ok. It's no reflection on the quality of your post or your ideas.
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well hey, since hardly anyone's looking at this corner of the website anyway I might as well take the opportunity to vent (it's annoying to do it on twitter with the character cap)
Man, social media is hard.
I see so many people posting regular content consistently for years and years without even seemingly breaking a sweat, while it's always been so difficult for me... Calculating engagement, deciding the best times to post, or, hell, even just sharing what they think/feel/made/fucking ate that day just seems, like, so easy and second nature for pretty much everyone around me. It's genuinely incredible to me that somebody can share what they've learned about idk shitty impractical tanks made in WW1 on this website and make it such an interesting read that hundreds of people engage with it!
But I've tried keeping social media accounts for art and stuff so many times now, on here, on Instagram, on Artstation, on Xitter, and eventually it just- kinda- fades away, it just feels so exhausting to keep track of all the things necessary to Chase the Algorhythm™ if you wanna have any relevancy. Is it a charisma thing??? Where do I grind to get a stat boost on my Cha???
I'd love to say it doesn't matter to me, since I've been drawing shit for myself for years now, but unfortunately artists do need social media presence if they wanna get work. Not to mention, well, I wanna reach people with the stuff I do! I want people to react to what I made, to say what they liked about it, or how it made them feel, and then when I post something I worked on for hours only to get, like, almost zero visibility? idk, man, it just kinda hurts. It's probably selfish and immature for me to say it, I know that it takes time and effort to build an audience and all that, but damn I get happy when people show me that something I've made has affected them positively. I like the connection, I like the conversations, I like meeting people who enjoy the same nerdy trash that I do!
(I was very fortunate to have an art post of mine reach a lot of notes here years ago, which was amazing, but it's such a rare thing)
God, and, like, there's all these weird unspoken rules about interacting on social media too.
The other day a friend of mine came up to our friend group and was like "oh my god this girl liked my stories on instagram it means something does she like me" and I was SO confused and then they were like "well, when somebody not on your friends list likes your stories, it means they're interested in you"
Then some time later another friend was telling me that somebody stopped liking her posts and unfriended her and how that is a horrible offense and my fucking brain hurt, like- okay I get the unfriend part kinda but there could be a hundred reasons for it??? it's not like you have a deep personal connection to all 300 friends you have on your account???
Then I see so many people out there simply sharing something they think or did only to have some rando twist what they said and come at them like they're the shittiest person on the planet that deserves everything bad in life actually (except the ones that are willingly spouting/promoting hateful shit to begin with. Those can rot in hell and I shall not mourn their demise)
Like??? It might be the Power of Autism™ in me but it always feels like I'm one step away from either making a fool of myself or offending twenty different people or both. It's both the fear of having hundreds of thousands of eyes on me and the fear of having none at all. And that makes it really difficult to share anything on the internet for me. I already have to deal with my entire existence as a trans woman making some cunts around the world mad, it sucks that I have to risk it in places where I just wanna post dumb drawings and talk about dumb things that make me happy with others.
I dunno. Word vomit I guess. Social media is hard. Interacting with humans is hard. Sharing stuff is hard. I prefer Pokémon
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Hello! I just wanted some clarification as to why earning some income off of fanfiction is this horrible unethical act.
Do fanarts and zines also apply under this copyright infringement and if so, why are those works allowed to make some profits but not fanfiction? To me it seems like a double standard, especially because I seriously doubt anyone making either fanart or fanfic are claiming that the characters and story are their own original works. Blatant plagiarism and profiting from it is one thing but receiving some income because someone really likes a fan work is another.
I understand that in extreme cases, authors can sue, like you mentioned Anne Rice but in most cases, the authors tend to be chill with fanworks? They know it encourages engagement and hell, some of those big scary publishing companies that you seem to be wary of actually scout fan artists and writers to bring on board for their next projects.
And it's not brought up often in these arguments but Anne Rice herself became lenient towards fanfics of her original work in the last couple years before her death, even apologizing for her behavior then.
So while I understand the concern for lawsuits, I just don't see how writers and artists are "late stage capitalist dicks" for earning an income off fanworks that are clearly stated and implied to be the original works of the author and not their own.
typically i'm a "never assume malice where ignorance can serve as an explanation" kinda person, but YEESH, it's hard not to perceive hostility in this one boys, here's why:
1) i never called writers and artists "late stage capitalist dicks," and putting that phrase in quotes to make it seem like i did tells me you're not here for productive communication...that intentional misquote showcases either a blatant attempt at weaponizing intellectual dishonesty OR a lack of reading comprehension on your part, one i doubt i can correct through anonymous tumblr asks
2) "why are fanzines allowed but fanfics are not?" presupposes what you think my position on the matter must be, but i haven't expressed my opinion on fanzines, let alone voiced a double standard in favor of them...this is (once again) a blatant attempt at putting words in my mouth and/or a complete misread, intentional or otherwise, of what i actually stated...and in fact i said in a comment that fanart ALSO exists in a legal gray area, so you didn't do your research very thoroughly if those are the words you're trying to put in my mouth (solid attempt tho, 6/10)
3) i ALSO didn't call anything unethical, as you claimed in your comically hyperbolic opening line...i called selling fanwork illegal. morality and legality are not the same thing, so whether your mistake regarding the differences between legality and morality is the product of ignorance or malice, the fact remains that it's yet another blatant misread of what i said, good job there buddy, you're batting a thousand
i could dig further into the bad-faith rhetoric oozing from that ask (the sheer hyperbole and melodrama of it + the litany of loaded questions are an immediate sign it wasn't sent in good faith), but i think i've made my point LMAOOOOOO...but to sum up, i have very little interest in engaging with you when you're talking in SUCH bad faith and with such an antagonistic tone...you're misrepresenting SO MUCH so blatantly and with such confidence, it gives me zero confidence in your desire to actually learn or explore these very interesting issues...you just wanna argue and twist my words, and i'm not gonna enable that bad behavior by giving you more to twist
but look bruh, i get it: you're feeling insecure and defensive over a comment about being careful about monetizing your fanwork, and you took a post about the concept of capitalism and its impact on the arts so personally you confused comments made about capitalism itself for comments about you as a person...but this hostility is NOT a commensurate reaction to what i said and i'm shocked you think otherwise, and if you want to have this conversation, we can...but only once you learn to argue respectfully
TL;DR: i doubt your ability to engage in good faith so i'm not going to respond earnestly, as it'll be a waste of my time...reread my posts after you've had time to release this defensive energy...engage with what i said, not with what you THINK i said...have a nice night and best of luck to you
#bad-faith arguments give me hives#sorry about the typos#i can't be bothered to edit this and just dictated it through my phone LMAOOOO#also that ask feels like a gish gallop and i have refused to engage with that bit of debate chicanery since 2005#i have a dayjob and no time for weaponized logical fallacies
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Hey! Idk if you remember, I'd talked to you about making your aymeric x estinien housing art into ffxiv housing. Ever since then, I have really fallen in love with your art style! I am also a noob artist and opened comms recently, but I haven't gotten any yet haha do you have any advice and tips for me to help gain an audience and commissioners? Thank you and goodluck with your shop!
Hello again! Yes, I remember gosh thank you so much for enjoying my art! Also I'm always super happy to answer art stuff since I'm in love with it, but I will open with a disclaimer specifically for the growing audience bit cause for a long time I've primarily been an OC / original art artist and it wasn't till I became cripplingly obsessed with estimeric that I grew some semblance of a following so I'm a pretty small artist by most standards ;;; With that said, here are my tips and advice which I'll separate into 2 parts
Putting this under a read more cause it's LONG
Commissions (mostly about expectations, best practices, and organisation to make it easy on clients)
Have some kind of commission page (here's mine for example) to make it easy for your clients to be able to reference something and for you to direct new inquiries to. This can be anything from a website/carrd to even just a google doc/tumblr pg. Will there be clients who never read this? Absolutely. BUT it's also great for clients who are shy and/or who like coming prepared
Have a Terms of Service section!! In our current day and age of tech bros and assholes trying to exploit and scam creatives I cannot express enough how just having a TOS will deter these ppl! It shows you're serious and that you know what you're about, making you less of a target!
MOST IMPORTANT! Be kind to yourself!!! Opening commissions is exciting due to the prospect of making money from something you love and it can be very disappointing and demoralising when you don't get any! It's also a very "feast or famine" type of roller coaster, so don't feel bad if you don't get any, even super large artists struggle!
Building a following (from someone who's doesn't actually prioritise this so take it as you will!)
You've probably heard this before but fanart is definitely better at drawing a crowd than original art so I feel obligated to mention it. (I'm a pretty classic case study of this imo lol) And the reason for this is that there's already an established audience out there that loves the content you're making unlike original art where you're starting from ground zero. Does that mean you should give up making original art if you want followers? ABSOLUTELY NOT! And honestly most of my advise will be from the perspective of growing an audience via original art because you can apply the same principles to fanart so here we go!
Consistency is key. Being a constant presence on your existing followers' feed means having consistent chances for them to share/engage with a piece of your artwork, which means more chances for new eyes to see them which means more chances for followers etc etc. But what's the pace? Well that depends on how brutal you're interested in being with yourself unfortunately....if you die hard want to grow as fast as possible then once a day (i've seen some artist do more;;;) but it's something I would NOT recommend for all sorts of risks. (you can mitigate the risk ofc but that's like a whole thing in itself) I'd advice you to figure out a pace that works for you so that you maintain a healthy relationship with your art
Join events/zines/bandwagons. Whether it's things like drawtober, ffxiv art parties, or zines, engaging with community/communal activities (especially those with hashtags/promos) can help you engage with people who might not have found you otherwise. If you're a social person it's a great chance for you to make friends who have similar interests too! Making art related to a piece of media that just came out is also great way of engagement since people are probably looking for it (for example spidersonas or dressing OCs in outfits to watch the barbie movie)
Make it easy to find your art when someone visits your page. It doesn't necessarily have to be a full portfolio, but giving viewers a place to see only your art posts is crucial imo. Tumblr is great since it's tagging system is fantastic making this part easy but places like Twitter for example only have a single media tab; so making a thread for art post or keeping your media tab clean is ideal. (you've no idea have many artists i've chosen not to follow cause their media tab is 1 awesome piece of art then just 500 cursed memes/reaction images lol)
HARDEST BUT MOST IMPORTANT POINT! Make compelling art. I follow artists who post a piece of art maybe once every....I dunno 3 months if even that, but when they do they get thousands of notes, why? Because it is a compelling piece of art. Something that touches the heart or makes you gasp in awe or swoon from it's vision or die laughing. And this is the hardest point because what that looks like is completely unique to you. Basically it is your answer to the question of "Why do I make art?" which artists everywhere all around the world, regardless of genre or industry, are trying to answer themselves. The one thing you MUST REMEMBER while you try to figure this point out is that it must involve Love. That means loving the journey; the grueling failures, steep learning curves, and all, because if even you don't love what you're trying to create other won't either. And that's not to say you have to be happy about a piece of art not turning out right (I still cry from frustration myself all the time) but it does mean be kind to yourself when you fall so you can pick yourself up easier when you stand again
THAT WAS SUPER LONG WOW! With all that said tho those 1st 2 points for growing an audience is what I would recommend focusing on! The internet is all about engagement and you can't have that if there's nothing to engage with! Also because it just bears mentioning that sometimes it is just a skill thing and you just have to get better at drawing BUT that is not to say skillful=complex! Nonono take a look at webtoons like "My Giant Nerd Boyfriend" by fishball or "Sarah's Scribbles" by Sarah Andersen. Or illustrator's like loonpflug or mmeiccaa. It's not complex but it's some FKIN GOOD ART!
Ok I will stop my ranting here GOOD LUCK AND DON'T FORGET TO BE KIND TO YOURSELF!! You are more than how many numbers you make on the internet and I hope that you always remember that 💖
#asks#oh as a footnote i guess#pretty promo posts for ur comms will prob help#if you see comm promo posts that look pretty u can save them as refs for urself#just make sure they're clear#also luck#so much LUCK#so don't feel bad if it takes awhile#just keep at it#AND HAVE FUN!!!#also also the risk mitigation for consistent posting rlly is it's own post#so feel free to ask again if u'd like to knw more#or wanna knw anything in general lol
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”
You never know what they're doing behind the scenes so I think this fandom could use a lesson in how to not jump to conclusions or assume the worst."
As someone who works in activism and advocacy, let me shed some light on the humanitarian crisis in Palestine and lay it out in a way that will make it digestible for you. If you choose to not read any of this, it's okay to say you don't care, but don't be a wuss and hide behind anonymity to do it because I (along with many others) don't want to be associated with people like that.
The main point here is transparency and avoiding hidden action. There is zero room for secrecy when it comes to this genocide and standing in solidarity to those who are being wiped out. The people of Palestine are begging for visibility and it's gotten to the point where U.S. citizens are resorting to extreme measures, including self-immolation (or setting themselves on fire, in layman's terms).
It is extremely valid to criticize artists or really any person who claims to be an activist (whether it's through messages they send through their songs, personal statements they've made on their profiles about being allies to people of color, and the band's brand as a whole, which are all things that Greta Van Fleet have done) but only speak out on humanitarian issues when pressured or when it directly affects them (Again, both are things that Greta Van Fleet has done).
This is the truth and despite aligning with the ideals of peace, love, and unity, no one (including the band itself) wants to take concrete action to support those values. It's more than likely that those who dismiss public action from their favorite artists as ineffective or suggest that support is being provided privately have not taken any tangible steps to support Palestine. Yes I am talking about the majority of the crowd chanting, "Theyre probably doing things in real life", "Posting isn't going to do anything", and "They're probably doing things behind closed doors".
I also saw criticism on here regarding the criticism for Greta Van Fleet and the support for Zionist artists. It is important to note and clarify that holding an artist accountable, having differing opinions on an artist's character than the rest of the herd, or criticizing an artist's actions does not equal a boycott.
Additionally, people who genuinely care about the Palestinian cause are not supporting artists who merely preach peace, love, and unity and/or claim to be a feminist or any sort of humanitarian in any form but have not demonstrated tangible support for Palestine. They are also certainly not supporting artists who are known Zionists. There is plenty of music and artists out there to listen to (especially in the rock genre) who have been openly supportive to the Palestinian causes and those similar to it that you don't have to listen to Zionist artists to have good music.
Furthermore, when it comes to Greta Van Fleet it is fine to separate the art from the artist. It's also fine to not do so, but their hypocritical actions are not something that we will continue to ignore. While there are several performative activists here, that is not the case for everyone. It is not fair that those doing tangible work both on and offline are being overshadowed and lumped with those doing it to avoid being 'cancelled' and are unwilling to be open about their blatant indifference to this humanitarian crisis (just like those who hide on this anonymous page and spew falsities about those speaking out are doing).
Artists engaging in insincere gestures or support or maintaining false images to maintain popularity and financial gains without actively supporting the causes they claim to is not a new situation. It is just something that has not ever been put as openly on blast as it is now thanks to social media, especially in light of recent events. This behavior from them mirrors that of their audience, which often blatantly overlooks their problematic behavior because of them being attractive (this was evident through all of SpeakupGVF).
There have been several actions from GVF (their open support for nfts, their lack of ticketmaster control despite being in the anti-ticketmaster documentary, having an entire social media platform based on a song condemning social media, etc. all things that artists who actually care about these issues have either not done or have openly spoken out against or have taken action against) that prove that, like many other artists, prioritizes relevancy and financial gain over genuine activism.
People who choose to remain ignorant of these facts are making a conscious decision to do so at this point and if you're choosing to do so, at least do not do so anonymously because at least be loud and wrong if you're going to be that wrong.”
Im Jewish and what I got out of this is you hate me based on my religion. You know nothing about me but you’d label me a Zionist and immediately I’m nothing in your eyes. According to you, antisemitism is accepted here and should be everywhere. Lemme guess, you’re one of those people that claims the holocaust never happened and Jews lied about that too. Throughout history, we are the one group that has consistently been persecuted, but we are the ones to be hated on here?
this is an extremely complex situation n both sides and it’s not the type of thing that you “pick sides”
#greta van fleet#gvf#josh gvf#sam gvf#jake gvf#josh kiszka#danny wagner#danny gvf#jake kiszka#sam kiskza
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Now that I've slept on it for two days, I think my thoughts are clear enough to finally formulate my words about the whole situation with a certain pig. Actual final post on this unless. Idk something worse happens but given that pizza discord was lifted up like a nasty rock I sort of doubt it.
I've been seeing a lot of takes lately given the pizza game. I agree with a large chunk of them that boil down to 'don't make playing this game a moral thing'. I don't agree with sentiments that are akin to 'this was years ago', or 'you're all just trying to cancel him because the game got popular'.
I was in that discord. I had most of the channels muted, but I'm pretty sure I left it in 2020ish. I only didn't see the grossness people are outlining firsthand because I only looked at the dev update chat at the time so I can see what he was implementing. One of my dearest friends had a very, VERY bad experience with it. It's not my right to exactly describe what happened to them, but... Yeah. It was awful. I get that all official discords become cesspits when they get thousands of people in there, but there's no excuse for what happened in there.
I can confirm that the discord was always full of redditor-like types and worse, which is why I muted all of the talk channels to begin with and didn't even glance at the fanart I was really there for. You may notice, if you're a long-timer that is, a lot of early Pizza T0wer artists didn't make fanart again when the game came out. The reason is a lot of them were treated like garbage in the discord. Sure, you had your usual types of people who stupidly make comparisons like 'oh your oc looks like (canon character)' thinking that's a good thing to say to a random artist who may or may not be ok with that, but many of them were just... Outright hostile.
Moderation was never good. I can't exactly recall how the mod team was cycled, but most of them didn't-- Or couldn't do their job because of the vast amount of people flowing in pre-release. It is legtiamately no wonder why it's had so many issues upon release. What I'm getting at here is the discord server was an awful idea. Even if it was patreon only a lot of the patreons made this sort of gross echo chamber. The reason why the stuff with pig both surprised me and didn't surprise me was because of the other half of the publishing company, Sertif.
Sertif to me is the most baffling part of all of this. Not because they did anything wrong, no, the exact opposite. They're arguably the most squeaky clean part of the team, being a far cry from whatever slop pig spewed. Which makes the fact that pig said all of that stuff lowkey worse to me? I don't know if they forgave him for that, or they were somehow unaware. Sertif is also the reason why I can't fully hate the game even with the flaws sprinkled throughout.
It's just upsetting. I can't blame people for reacting the way they have, but at the same time people have gotta stop making excuses. I think it's completely valid to say 'hey you're still allowed to enjoy the game and characters, just don't defend the stupid ass pig'. I think a lot of people put it aptly that the game has already gotten traction. It's your choice if you still want to make fan content or not, it probably won't have a heavy effect on the game's sales at this point. It's sort of people trying to boycott pkmn to a much lesser extent-- People are still going to buy it because they're not engaged with online couture or multiple other reasons.
I do indeed have zero respect for people rubbing their hands together like flies like 'finally I have an excuse to dislike popular thing'. Like, really??? That's where your priorities lie? You can dislike the pizza game. You could've still disliked it if the pig was squeaky clean. But this exact same thing happened to two fixations I heavily fell out of, that being 0mori and f//nf. They gained traction, and people dug stuff up on the creators.
I'm not going to claim that people only dug this stuff up because the game got popular. I won't assume bad faith despite many people assuming bad faith out of others becoming a trend nowadays. People have a right to know what the hell creators did before deciding to get into a game. But claiming people are a bad person for liking a piece of media...
...For the love of god, at least confirm if they do or do not condone the creator's actions.
It's very easy to say 'no media is perfect', sure, but I think most people have gone through the song of dance of 'thing I like was made by an awful person!' there are rare white whale situations where you really should drop the franchise (cough) bad wizard franchise (cough), but expecting everyone to just... Drop a piece of media like a sack of bricks?
Please think realistically. It's great that you're informing people, but expecting people to drop media... You don't know their history with it. You don't know how much comfort it brought them or anything else. Demonizing people for liking pieces of media with flawed creators is really just a waste of time.
I won't ever undermine what pig has said and done. I hope he properly apologizes and hell, takes the extra mile, adjusting those questionable enemies and donates to a few charities or something to show he gives a shit. The very little credit he's done is he admitted what he said was shallow. I know the bar is in hell, but it's good that he isn't trying to double down and go 'bluh that was funny though' (I can imagine his cesspit of a discord echochamber has tried to say this. No way in hell I'm going in there to check and I wouldn't encourage anyone to go into that place with a ten foot pole).
I know I don't need to defend myself nor am I a bad person for acknowledging the creator is a shithead and still enjoying the game and the fan content around it. I have a lot of friends who like fn4f who hate Scott. I wouldn't be friends with them if they defended him. People trying to say this and that about this stance is... Bizarre.
I understand how Pizza game can make people uncomfortable now (always have given the long running history of the bad discord), and people have their full right not to engage with me because they are uncomfortable. At the same time, they shouldn't accuse me of being a bad person because I like something made by a bad person.
A lot of music artists, or hell, artists in general are pretty bad people but people will still admire the artist's ability. A lot of people online who hostility attack people over their interests probably have one of their own pieces of media that isn't squeaky clean.
Please save yourself the mental trouble and stop making people feel 'bad' for liking media. In most cases, you can just block them and mute the tag. It's a waste of everyone's time to hunt people down over this sort of stuff.
Stay informed, don't make excuses for content creators. That's all I ask.
#kirm rambles ✨#negative /#to that one playtester still playing pick me and defending the pig by claiming people are trying to end him for 'no reason'; I gotta say#you really haven't changed a bit. I won't say names but you know who you are#long ramble ahead but yeah. I've been here since 2019#so naturally I was in the discord for a solid second. I remember that some of my art was mocked#because I drew Peppino saying 'respect artists' or something#if that's anything to go by. I do try to separate the media from the fandom as hard as that can be though
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Hi! I’ve recently seen an argument you’ve had with a black!girl x kpop writer, and even though I’ve never been too fond of slapping a race on that kind of content, as I also feel that it’s fetishizing, I found a lot of your responses to be very thought-provoking and worth looking into (which I did). As a black person who does enjoy K-pop out of my love for music of all cultures (including French music, and Middle-eastern music), I couldn’t help but feel guilty for supporting certain artists: Should I feel guilty? Is it okay if I listen to them at all?
Another thing I wanted to point out is that I agree that anime is VERY UNSAFE for black viewers and I never understood why black people (or people in general) wanted to be associated with it. I find it to be very exploitive of black culture, BIGOTED, and perverted as a whole—not my cup of tea.
But back to K-pop and the associated content here on tumblr, do you think it’s harmful that I read NSFW kpop ff (even if it’s not race-specific, but just random ones) in general? Is consuming SFW kpop fiction wrong too, even if it isn’t race specific?
I admit that i find some of these men attractive and reading the stories people come up with are interesting, but I never want it to be perceived as a fetish when I just find it fun.
Though, perhaps I should reframe my idea of fun and find healthier means of enjoyment if you recommend. ✅
I’m a black teen in a society where Asian people are glorified, and I just really don’t want to be apart of anything that contributes to racism, self hatred, anti black ideologies, or that could hurt me or my people.
I’d really appreciate it if you responded with tips/advice! Thanks ❤️ You’re doing a great thing by speaking up for what you believe in and going against the masses with boldness, btw!
Greetings!!
First, let me say that I appreciate the time you took to reach out to me. This is the dialogue I was seeking to have, before folks got defensive about it in that other thread. But, your response made it all the more worth it. I like public discussions, because even if the person I'm talking directly doesn't get it, then there's always people reading it that may gain something from what's been said.
You sent me 2 Asks on here, so I will answer both in this one ask, if that's okay.
<<Hi! I’ve recently seen an argument you’ve had with a black!girl x kpop writer, and even though I’ve never been too fond of slapping a race on that kind of content, as I also feel that it’s fetishizing, I found a lot of your responses to be very thought-provoking and worth looking into (which I did). As a black person who does enjoy K-pop out of my love for music of all cultures (including French music, and Middle-eastern music), I couldn’t help but feel guilty for supporting certain artists: Should I feel guilty? Is it okay if I listen to them at all?>>
I never want to be the person that tells people what they can and can't, or should and shouldn't do. My only intent is to inform people about the choices they make, while also leading by example and sharing why I don't indulge in certain things. That said, I have zero tolerance for cultures, religions, music, etc that disparages Black people globally. I don't know where you live, so for the sake of discussion, I'm going to assume you live in the US (feel free to correct me on that). As such, I don't even listen to Rap/Hip-Hop music, nor engage in the culture as much as I used to when I was much younger, for this same reason.
When I was your age, Hip-Hop was the voice of the people, that spoke to our issues of Oppression. Now, it's become a corporate-controlled, cultural catch-all for all the worst elements of our community: violence, crime, materialism, misogyny, substance abuse, sexual deviancy, gang/prison culture, use of harsh/ugly words, and an overall lack of intellectual growth. So, I take in very little Hip-Hop these days, and the little that I do take in, is usually from years past. Music for me should always be uplifting and inspiration for every listener, but very little music from contemporary Black America speaks of love, respect, etc. Its all depression music now.
So, instead of recommending what not to listen to, I much rather recommend some music genres that you could listen to, either instead of or in addition to your current listening choices. First, I think every one could benefit from listening to music that came long before them. I highly recommend listening to the music your parents, grandparents and great-grandparents listened to when they were your age and older. It was artful, soulful, and fulfilling in all the ways that current music is not.
Also, I personally do not listen to Middle Eastern and French music, because both these groups are highly oppressive to Black people. Nonetheless, it always amazes me, how Black people the world over will indulge in everyone else's genres, but not our own. As such, I would suggest dabbling in music from around the African Diaspora. Caribbean music (Reggae, Soca, etc), Afro-Latin Jazz, and Continental African (Afro-Beats, Amapiano, etc) are great places to find soulful, melodic, and rythmic music, directly from your own Ancestors. Tjere are a dozen different Caribbean music styles, & dozens of African styles. On my own page, I regularly post music under the tag "#Shango's Playlist". That could be a great point of reference for you with new music.
<<Another thing I wanted to point out is that I agree that anime is VERY UNSAFE for black viewers and I never understood why black people (or people in general) wanted to be associated with it. I find it to be very exploitive of black culture, BIGOTED, and perverted as a whole—not my cup of tea.>>
I absolutely agree with this. For the life of me, I don't undertand the obsession with anime, especially for Black people. I posted this short vid about it recently....
And.....
youtube
As someone who is a writer, and has collabed with other artists on things in the past, it's weird watching Black people try to convey the Black experience via a non-Black lens. I've seen artists and writers mimic the Anime style and aesthetic, to the point that some of them try to even go to Japan to get jobs as illustrators, only to get rejected as soon as they get off the plane. It's sad and embarrassing, just how disconnected we seem to be about how the world works. But I digress....
>>But back to K-pop and the associated content here on tumblr, do you think it’s harmful that I read NSFW kpop ff (even if it’s not race-specific, but just random ones) in general? Is consuming SFW kpop fiction wrong too, even if it isn’t race specific?>>
I would say to at least try to balance the non-Black content that you indulge in, with actual Black content as well. Non-Black people should not live rent-free in your head, when your own people don't live there as well. But ultimately, K-Poop is racist, whether NSFW, or SFW. And this is why I don't ever, and would never indulge or partake in it.
Furthermore, I also have no interest in K-Poop's watered down & exploitative take on the Black experience. If I wanna see people twerking with bandanas, gold teeth. & fake dreads, I can watch Black rap videos for that 🤷🏿♂️. Just like I don't wanna see non-Black women with fake butts & fake lips, when I can worship those natural traits on Black women.
<<I admit that i find some of these men attractive and reading the stories people come up with are interesting, but I never want it to be perceived as a fetish when I just find it fun. Though, perhaps I should reframe my idea of fun and find healthier means of enjoyment if you recommend. ✅>>
Admittedly, I would always rather see Black people developing an attraction for their own first and foremost. And ultimately, it is in fact fetishizing those people. But it's good that you are at least willing to seek healthier (key word) means of enjoyment. I don't think in this society, Black people (especially the youth) are taught Black Love, as the media only portrays Black people with non-Black people on TV, marketing, etc. This is how misguided notions about beauty gets pushed on people, especially Black people, who suffer from self-esteem issues in this regard.
<<I’m a black teen in a society where Asian people are glorified, and I just really don’t want to be apart of anything that contributes to racism, self hatred, anti black ideologies, or that could hurt me or my people.
I’d really appreciate it if you responded with tips/advice! Thanks ❤️ You’re doing a great thing by speaking up for what you believe in and going against the masses with boldness, btw!>>
I cannot tell you how much this means to hear!! 🙏🏿
I don't understand the obsession with Asian people either, especially as a Black person. And that goes beyond their treatment of us as Blacks. The unparalleled Beauty of the Black Woman, and the raw power and strength of the Black Man is something that no other group can compare to. Personally to me, Asian women look like little boys to me; all small, frail, awkward, uncoordinated, etc, and that's not something that I personally find appealing. Not to say that every Black person is big and powerful, but there's a style and grace and charm to Black people that no other group has. Which is why I highly suggest tapping into that from your own people, be it in the form all of our creative expressions (music, dance, art, etc). Doing so will also help unlock all those wonderful qualities within yourself as well, because art imitates life (as I'm sure you know), and so Black expressions are reflections of all the wonderful qualities that are within you.
<<I’m the same girl from the last question, but I was also wondering if you think it’s harmful for non-black girls to engage with K-pop fiction (whether it be race-based or not, or 18+ or not).>>
Honestly, I really don't focus on what non-Black people do or don't do. Most of these Non-Black People feel the exact same way about us that the K-Poop people do, so they already have that in common. As Black people, I believe that our primary focus should come from, and should be on ourselves. Every other group puts themselves first, and we should be doing the same.
Hopefully this answers and addresses your issues. If not, please feel free to ask more questions as you feel the need. I'd be delighted to answer. 🙏🏿
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💘🌈🕯️and 🤲 pls <333
💘Is there any posted fic you want to rework/re-edit/re-write?
I would like to have another look at Holding Tight and make sure the grammar and spelling is just right. And I think I would trim the ghost at the skating rink side-story because now it feels a little dumb.
I would also like to make Then When I Met You a little longer because it was a sweet one shot with a lot of potential.
(I'm not going to do either of those things in the foreseeable future though lol)
🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?
Angst is so difficult for me. Just the idea of starting to write something that will make me sad and the character sad... I lose all my motivation. i never said that we would die together and Chapter 22 of Holding Tight were especially hard for that reason, even though I already had the ending planned out it was so hard to just write it.
🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn’t think it would take you?
Originally, The Gardener's Son was never supposed to be as smutty as it turned out to be. I had planned on a bit of role play being a catalyst for Dmitry realizing his feelings for Anya but I just didn't know how far it would go lol
It also was supposed to be one chapter only but then I was like, actually Anya has rights too, so
🕯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you’re not a social person/experience social anxiety?
For one, it makes it obvious that fan writers and artists are people with lives that do this for the love of it and not like AI machines that feed us content every few days. It takes time and love to do anything.
I've tried to make it a habit to compliment creators as much as possible because it's the nice thing to do and it's free. A little ramble in the tags, a comment, a kudos, etc. truly can make someone's day <3
🤲what do YOU get out of writing?
It's a fun, creative, pure thing that I can do in my downtime (usually in my notes app while I pretend to text someone lol). There's like zero outside pressure for me to be good or even make sense, I can play with my blorbos all I want, and I get to know people within the fandom that I wouldn't have connected with otherwise (like you?!) because I'm very introverted
#it's wild to think that i wouldn't know you if i hadn't gone and made a super niche ice skating au of a broadway musical?!#(there were two candle emojis so i answered both)#thank you for asking miss iz ily!#replies#aralisj writes#izloveshorses
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I hope I’m not misreading your posts as slightly facetious? They come off that way a little and it just seems like you’re trying to make a point by it, I’m just not sure what it is that you’re looking for. Do you want that author to apologize and take back what she said? I don’t think that you… don’t think that supporting authors and artists is important, and this is more supposed to demonstrate how bad it would be if all fandom wasn’t supportive? I just don’t understand what the endgame is
Hi there anon 👋🏻,
Sorry I missed (what I’m assuming) is a follow-up to an earlier ask. (If it’s not, and you’re a different person, please scratch that~)
"I just don’t understand what the endgame is”
What do you mean “endgame”?? I already secured the mother of all “endgames”.
In the past, engaging with the art and fics I enjoyed cost zero money and was comically low-effort, but now I literally don’t do anything, and I still get to fully enjoy the extraordinary benefits of everyone else’s labor, time and effort.
What could possibly be a better “endgame” than getting everything I want, when I want it, as much as I want it, and exactly how I want it for absolutely NOTHING?? It’s how the vast majority of consumers in our fandom do it, so why can’t I??
Especially now that I know that commenting has never really been a thing in the history of fandom, that the “healthiest and most satisfied creators” 🥴 (i.e., the *good* ones) write for themselves, that lack of reader engagement won’t stop writers from writing, and we can treat these concerns for what they *actually* are: whining that can be taken with a “grain of salt”.
Do I want that “author to apologize and take back what she said”?? No, of course not. Why the hell would I?!?!?!!?
She generously took time out of her busy schedule to impart her history and valuable knowledge on the ways of fandom to me, and in doing so made my experience as a consumer first and foremost a trillion times more convenient than it already was. And for that, I am eternally grateful.
There is no reason why my lurkership should ruffle any feathers or cause confusion in any way. What I do now is no different than how the vast majority of consumers in our fandom enjoy fanart and fanfics - and in my case, I actually have the sage words of a bonafide fandom veteran to justify and legitimize my endless voracious silent consumption. 😇
All of our fandom writers who whine about feeling demoralized, unseen, and unappreciated should follow the shining example of this kind, selfless and truly virtuous author and stop expecting anything they value for their extraordinary efforts. 😠
Instead of being entitled, problematic and wasting their time complaining about baseless nonsense, they should be writing even more free content for deserving silent consumers like me. 😤
CHOP CHOP, WRITERS!!
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The ask mentioning variety shows and fans screaming about the “mistreatment” of idols has me wondering what you think of the larger trend of that. Obviously the group under discussion probably gets that the most since their fans can be……rabid…….at times, and have zero sense of nuance in the slightest. But they’re definitely not the only fandom like that. In recent weeks I’ve seen fans complaining about how Itzy is being “mistreated” for the venue sizes on their us tour (and txt got the same); bts plus p1harmony apparently were both “mistreated” for a 3 minute comedy bit on the daily show with Trevor Noah; bts has been “mistreated” by the western media for calling it a hiatus (which their official subtitles apparently did!). It’s getting kind of insane. Western artist fans do this sometimes too, but a decent number of very vocal kpop fans seem to infantilize their groups to a much stronger level and take issue with just about everything.
Obviously none of these are mistreatment in any classic definition, and if someone was legitimately being mistreated that’s a bigger deal (and probably a legal one too). But it feels like these claims:
1. Mask any real criticism or concerns that should be voiced, much like the boy who cried wolf fable. It’s hard to take any of it seriously at this point.
2. Make it really difficult to do anything creative because of the blowback. Like yes, there are reasonable lines in the sand (like please stop making minors do things that really should only be for adults….or maybe stop debuting minors…), but the pushback has gone so far past the reasonable line that it’s no longer in sight.
We’ve already seen western tv and movies cave to the demands of fans, usually at the expense of the creative vision of the original creators. What kind of effect do you think this pushback is having in kpop and will have in kpop moving forward? Should we be concerned?
i agree with you on the whole, it absolutely does mask real criticism, but to be honest i'm not actually sure it's going to creatively affect kpop that much. fan interactivity has been built into kpop from the very beginning and it's part of the reason why it functions the way that it does. kpop has, for better or worse, sort of a system that shields everyone except the idols from a public presenting front. obviously you can go looking for the names of the people involved in things like choreo and styling etc etc and you'll find them, but they don't get full billing and they aren't gonna be noticed by people who aren't looking. AND you can't look for staff via their faces, because everyone gets blurred in extra content. there's an understanding that these people are not there to be in front of the camera, their work is what is meant to be in front of the camera. fans can't really actively harass the true creative staff, all they can usually do is harass the company, and (for better and for worse) it's debatable if that actually even does anything. the reason we've been seeing shit go down with western media in the last couple of years is because western media is overwhelmingly not made for fan interaction. there's no company protecting them in the same way, so you can easily find and access staff and creatives directly. fan culture was the quiet part of western media consumption for DECADES, and up until recently (read: social media) fan circles stayed in fan circles and artists stayed in artist circles. but now that the internet enveloped everyone in this free for all and so much of the new media that's being produced is recycled old media, there's nothing stopping fans from actively engaging with the people who directly make the work. and when you're a creative that's a lot of overwhelming engagement that you aren't prepared for. and when you have a lot of people that like a thing that you made, there is a part of you that wants to please them. and when, in western media's case, the fan conglomerate gets so big and loud that it's affecting business decisions and as well as smaller creative ones, that's becomes a much more pressing problem for media creation.
tldr: kpop isn't engaged with the same as western film and tv is, so it's not likely to change that much.
#wait. p1harmony was on trevor noah????????????????????? how did THAT happen?????#also something to note. having idols that don't 'make their own music' IS another level of protection for both creatives AND idols#when you put something of yourself that you made out there to be seen by people it's hard#you want it to be received well SO badly and its hard to not take criticism personally#when you (for example) write a song that someone else sings - it's easier to help distance yourself and see any criticism objectively#and it's the same for the person singing. they didnt write it so theyre not taking the creative onus#tbh i think all fan culture is fucked and it's made everyone lose touch with how to engage with are like a normal person#kpop questions#text#answers#k variety questions#also this is not to say that creatives should not held accountable for mistakes bc they absolutely should. but you need to actually like.#CREATE the work first#for the record i dont think either of these systems are that good but one of them is better at protecting artistic integrity in a way#anyways all of this is capitalism's fault
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Hurricane Ian Taught Me...
Ah! This is going to slightly place me in the path of a few crosshairs but methinks its important to have a better fundamental understanding of where I’ve been for the last few however-many-increments on which you choose to check this blog for updates on a statistical zero dopamine-addict with no prospects in life besides writing.
I can’t do anything else, but write. It’s all I feel like I’m good at, all I can take pride in, and all that I am, a writer, at my core. Dependably, I can always fall back on vocabulary to get me out of particularly-rough situations. Here I am, rocking you all like a-... well, you get the idea.
There isn’t any end to the amount of complaining that I had to do over the course of my little “vacation” from sanity, but now that I’m plugged back in, I can recount it in vivid detail.
It made me want to write a movie, the type of 75-minute mock-umentary film with a really tight script about a young adult wanting to patch things up with his parents since the three of them have nothing better to do when the power is out. Sadly, things didn’t go that way for me. I’ve come back after a business-week without power, or much connection at all, to the world around me.
It’s true what they say, I suffered for my low attention-span on this little journey, so now I’m here to report my findings. I’ve learned that--... ahh... aaah.... I’ve left my notebook in my other pajama-pants. Fuck. Well, let’s just riff it, then.
I didn’t learn much, if I’m being honest. I learned what I sort-of already knew, which is that my brain is horribly addicted to the chemicals that make it ding with rewards and proper transience between both effort and reward has been cut very short for a very long period of time.
I learned that all it truly takes is a small amount of drugs, a good amount of decidedly-weird fetish porn and a 12-pack of your local neighborhood cola to nearly drive yourself insane without an ability to regularly engage with your routines.
Maybe not you, but I speak with the royal You since this nearly drove *me* insane, you can deal with me pointing the finger at you even though this is all me whining about something that I think everyone should really suffer through, modernly.
Power outages are no joke, if reserve generators don’t kick on fast enough, people can die in hospitals, homes, anywhere, really. The point is that I didn’t have enough fucking Summer Sausage to last me the entire journey, and I’m not the hero. If anything, I’m the villain of the story. That’s what the script would be about, honestly, how we’re each responsible for our own actions at the end of the day, and the artistic expression of that would be me atoning with my neglect and trying to eke out a living different to my parents, but still all unique in my own mind.
I owe that to myself, at least I’d like to think so.
#cut to metal riff#writing#writeblr#blog#blogging#blog post#a breath of fresh air#finally#i'm back#returned#home#my beard#is so fucking long
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Seeing Him For the First Time Again
In which Geralt, when waking up after tonsil removal surgery, suffers from temporary memory loss. The stunning stranger at his bedside claims that they're married. Geralt has trouble wrapping his head around it.
A little addition to the Singer and the Sailor series, but can be read as a stand-alone. Inspired by this video. Also available on AO3.
There’s a cacophony of sounds around him but he doesn’t fully process the noise. He only knows that he’s had tonsil removal surgery. His throat sure hurts like it. His head is heavy, his mind fuzzy, it’s all wrong. He wants it to stop.
His thoughts go directly to his mouth as he mumbles, “I need medicine.”
From the right, there comes a beautiful, mellifluous voice.
“They’re bringing you some,” it says.
Startled, Geralt looks to where the words came from and –
His breath hitches in his throat and his heart skips a beat; there, right at his bedside, sits a vision.
The man is not just a man. He must be an elf, or a fae, or some other inhuman being. His face is straight out of a fairytale, and his eyes are so wide and blue. He could be an angel, with those eyes, but his body – strong neck, broad shoulders, chest hair – invites Geralt to sin.
Why would someone like this be here, watching over him?
“Did the doctors send you?” he wonders. With mouth-to-brain filter absent, he adds, “You’re eye candy.”
The otherworldly creature laughs – which is such a gorgeous melody – but god, his smile. His smile is the Sun itself.
“Wow,” Geralt breathes out. “You’re the prettiest person I’ve ever seen.”
“Well, thank goodness Yenna isn’t here,” the guy replies, grinning. “You’d say that to her instead if she were.”
“Yenna?” Geralt echoes. The name feels familiar on his tongue for some reason. “Yenna... Yenn... Yen...”
“Yes, Yen,” the stunning stranger chimes in. “She’s visiting you with Ciri later.”
He’s somehow sure that he knows Ciri too. The next moment, he realises that Ciri and Yen are important. He feels it down to his very bones. Why? That escapes him, even though -
This train of thought is cut off by a snicker. Geralt looks at his bedside angel once more. The surreal man is holding... something, in one of his hands. It’s a really beautiful hand, as if an artist carved it from marble. The whole of him is like an artwork. He must be widely admired, with such compelling facial features and those eyes.
“Are you a model?”
“No,” the stranger denies.
That doesn’t make sense. Why wouldn’t he be? He’s so pretty. He’s pretty like a... like... somebody. He’s certainly someone. Geralt needs to get to know him.
“Who are you?” he asks. “What’s your name?”
“My name is Jaskier,” the man introduces himself. “I’m your husband.”
“You’re my husband?!” Geralt gasps in shock, not believing his ears.
“Yeah,” the model-but-not-a-model – Jaskier, yes, that name suits him – confirms.
“Holy fuck!” he exclaims, smiling, his chest fit to burst with joy.
Jaskier chuckles so beautifully again and Geralt closes his eyes, savouring the sound. Then, a wave of nausea hits him and he can’t really focus on anything. When it passes, Geralt turns his head back to the vision at his right. His husband. That’s so incredible. And serious. They could be parents, even.
“Do we have children?”
“Depending on how you look at it,” Jaskier explains, “We have between zero to two kids.”
Geralt frowns, dumbstruck. How do you have between zero to two children with someone? He’s quite sure that having children with someone doesn’t work like that. Having children starts with... kissing... and then... Wait.
“Have we kissed yet?” he asks.
Jaskier throws his head back, laughing with his whole body. Geralt’s breath is taken away again.
“We’ve kissed a lot, darling,” Jaskier answers.
“Is that what we call each other? Darling?”
“We call each other many names, dearest.”
Suddenly, there’re many thoughts at once running through his mind. Something about “Lead me, dearest”, sirens and sea. Yes, sea, he knows that too. He knows that he knows many things; he isn’t young. But since when has he got a husband?
“How long have we been married?”
“Three years,” Jaskier replies, smiling warmly.
“Fuck yeah, I hit the jackpot!” Geralt cries triumphantly.
Jaskier is his husband. He’s his. His to love, his to touch –
“Let me see your face,” Geralt says as he reaches out to cup Jaskier’s cheek. Turning his husband’s head to the side, he gushes, “Your profile is perfect!” Then, he loses the strength to touch Jaskier, but that’s all right. He has another idea. “Turn around.”
“No,” Jaskier objects with a delighted giggle.
Geralt pouts. He just wants to see if Jaskier’s ass is as perfect as the rest of him. Not that he doubts it. Wouldn’t hurt to check, is all. Checking up facts is good.
“We’re married!” he repeats with wonder and his husband nods. “Oh fuck.”
Jaskier only laughs again and tells him to settle down. Geralt, being a good husband to his surprise husband, listens. Still confused as to how he got so lucky but overjoyed at the fact nevertheless, he drifts off to sleep.
***
Later, as the anaesthesia starts wearing off, Geralt’s memory returns, dispersing his confusion. Slowly, all the pieces fall into place:
Jaskier is not a model, but a well-known singer, who Ciri was a fan of as a teenager.
Jaskier and Geralt got together after they pretended to be engaged and actually pulled it off. They have been together for six years now.
Geralt and Jaskier call each other a sailor and a siren. “Lead me, dearest, to the coast of tomorrow” is engraved on the inside of their wedding rings.
Technically, they don’t have children together. Geralt has Ciri with Yennefer. Jaskier is Dara’s guardian. Yet, Ciri and Dara are inseparable like siblings, and Jaskier and Geralt treat them as such.
Jaskier and Geralt also have a dog and a boat. Both are of the same name.
As a retired Royal Navy commander, Geralt finally has enough time to cherish his family. He often takes care of his nephew - Eskel and Essi’s son - Nao. He does that especially when Eskel is deployed, just like Eskel used to help him with Ciri. Lambert and Aiden help Essi too. So do Yennefer and Triss. And Jaskier and his sisters with their families. Plus Ciri and Dara. And Vesemir. Jaskier’s parents as well. Really, Nao, at two-and-a-half, might already be the most spoiled child in the world. Not that he minds. He loves the attention nearly as much as he loves Jaskier’s niece, Zofia. Zofia and Nao are so adorably taken with each other that no one can quite handle it.
All in all, Geralt’s life is just so good.
“I really did hit the jackpot,” he says after they return from the hospital.
“No, my heart,” Jaskier replies, “I did.”
Then, they kiss, and the anaesthesia incident is happily forgotten.
Or so it should have been.
The reality is this: at a family gathering a week later, it turns out that Jaskier recorded the whole thing. He shows the video to everyone. Geralt has never been simultaneously laughed at and called “precious” so much in his whole life. In fact, he never wants to hear the word “precious” spoken in his vicinity ever again.
More or less fleeing this predicament, Geralt takes Roach (the dog) and goes to hide on Roach (the boat) for solid three days. He wants to stay there longer, he tries to be mad, but then Jaskier appears with an apology song.
Geralt thinks to himself he’s a rather shitty sailor, unable to resist a siren’s call.
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✨ fic recs ✨
ok so back in like 2014 i watched supernatural for a solid 3 years until they killed kevin and charlie and i got bored of the bmol storyline. now im here again let’s not talk about it. BUT during this time i accumulated a Lot of fic and in the past two months i’ve gone through all 213 of my bookmarks and gone through like every rec list made after s12 in order to read fic set during every specific season while i rewatch the show. because im insane <3 im on s8 rn and wanted to share my list of favourites from each season so far as well as my favourite aus ! they’re all generally nsfw so minors be careful, and also check the warnings ! and i will update this when i finish s15 <3
aus
asunder by rageprufrock (23.8k, e, background samruby)
obviously the most perfect thing to ever exist.
and this, your living kiss by opal_bullets (56k, m, background saileen)
poet dean fic need i say more. part dean studies if dean studies was elaborated on lovingly in detail for 56k words, part gorgeous and beautiful poetry, part incredibly clever commentary on meta and fan allusions, and part stunning exploration of the relationships in the show turned on their heads.
one white little lie by komodobits (11k, gen)
this is SOOO cute. cas is so embarrassing i was covering my face the entire time i was reading it. if u want to be cheered up. read this.
broadway musical by griftings (12k, m)
this is genuinely sooo funny. big “castiel did you fuck the michael sword” energy and jimmy novak as that “am not against gays” tweet, plus jo <3
c-s-t-l by komodobits (90k, m)
i haven't read this in a while but from what i remember it was incredible and also had cassie <3
rest is under the cut because it got long fhjfkfklf
pre-series/season 1-3*
a turn of the earth by microcomets (time travel, 95k, standford era, m)
i think everyone’s read this at this point but if u haven't. what are u doing. go read it. it’s absolutely everything i reread it in the week before the finale without remembering half of the stuff it talked about and i was a WRECK. if u think about standford era dean every day read this. cas punches john winchester in the FACE.
geography by aeli_kindara (3k, teen and up, warnings for discussion of rape/non-con and prostitution)
not dean/cas but a really wonderful and needed conversation with sam and dean during 2x02.
season 4
so says the sword by komodobits (85k, e)
yeah. i dont need to say anything.
consequences of falling by fayjay (37k, e, background samruby, warnings for rape/non-con)
THISSSS FIC. pls it’s perfect literally everything i wanted when i was watching s4 and obsessed with love as an act of worship + ruby and cas parallels. ruby and cas get drunk together! ruby says this: “dean and castiel sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes the fall from grace, then comes battling the hosts of hell and wishing that you’d managed to get your skinny ass laid before the freaking apocalypse”! what more could u want!
named by rc_machlan (94k, m)
literally the best fic in the world i am not going to say Anything if you love dean and angels and the mythology of s4-s5 that was promptly dropped, you absolutely have to read this.
four people ruby seduced & one she actually fell for (or: ruby's epic love affair with humanity in general and sam in specific) by tuesday (3.7k, e, samruby, ruby/jo)
this is more background deancas than anything else and does contain brief, not romantic in any way dean/ruby and dean/cas, but like. if u love ruby (which i do) u have to read this.
season 5
final fantasy by orange_crushed (1.9k, m)
endverse.....this made me want to die
the (mostly accidental) courtship of dean winchester by tuesday (11k, m)
a classic for a reason. really cute and soft and the handprint and cas beating dean up in 5x18 are angelic marriage rites. what more could you ask for.
the girlfriend experience by rageprufrock (15k, explicit)
of Course i mean of COURSE. thee s5 deancas fic.
strike me down and i’ll come back more powerful than you can possibly imagine by trinityofone (10k, gen)
post 5x22 dean and cas rescue sam from hell with the help of some special guests. PERFECT. the only valid good omens crossover.
season 6**
something stupid by zatnikatel (20k, e)
this broke my heart and put it back together. one of my favourite cas characterizations, takes place over s5-s6 and it’s just stunning.
a crash course in someone else’s history by annie d (11k, teen and up)
s4 cas ends up in the body of cas in 6x20. fucking life-ruining.
season 7
make known by domesticadventures (16k, teen and up)
this is a really heartbreaking look at dean’s headspace near the end of s6 and throughout s7, and it’s really wonderful with a hopeful ending.
redemption road by a whole bunch of people (652k, virtual season, explicit)
oh boy. ok. know ur herstory ! this was written from 2011 to 2012 and it is thee s7 fic, a virtual season written by 17 fans all together. it’s very very long and it suffers sometimes from having being written a decade ago, but im making my way through it right now and it still fucking holds up. i really do recommend reading at least some of it, you can stop around halfway through and you should be fine.
season 8***
rinse, repeat by ias (3k, teen and up)
exploration of cas when naomi forces him to kill copies of dean and then his perspective in goodbye stranger.
my keeper by whelvenwings (5k, gen)
another goodbye stranger fic, this time with bonus artist cas!
though the course may change by imogenbynight (51k, e)
au after 8x23. i love this fic so much. dean accidentally ends up making himself have to go undercover with cas and pretend to be fake engaged. also, charlie and kevin. do i need to say more.
apres by imogenbynight (24k, e)
au after 8x23 where dean goes to find cas after the angels fall in paris 🥺
*i have found exactly one bela fic that i loved, and zero henriksen fics that i loved, so IF u have recs for those. i would appreciate that.
**mostly the s6 fics i read were uh...vampire dean fics...
***have found one (1) good dean/aaron fic but im still searching for the perfect purgatory crew fics
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"You never know what they're doing behind the scenes so I think this fandom could use a lesson in how to not jump to conclusions or assume the worst."
As someone who works in activism and advocacy, let me shed some light on the humanitarian crisis in Palestine and lay it out in a way that will make it digestible for you. If you choose to not read any of this, it's okay to say you don't care, but don't be a wuss and hide behind anonymity to do it because I (along with many others) don't want to be associated with people like that.
The main point here is transparency and avoiding hidden action. There is zero room for secrecy when it comes to this genocide and standing in solidarity to those who are being wiped out. The people of Palestine are begging for visibility and it's gotten to the point where U.S. citizens are resorting to extreme measures, including self-immolation (or setting themselves on fire, in layman's terms).
It is extremely valid to criticize artists or really any person who claims to be an activist (whether it's through messages they send through their songs, personal statements they've made on their profiles about being allies to people of color, and the band's brand as a whole, which are all things that Greta Van Fleet have done) but only speak out on humanitarian issues when pressured or when it directly affects them (Again, both are things that Greta Van Fleet has done).
This is the truth and despite aligning with the ideals of peace, love, and unity, no one (including the band itself) wants to take concrete action to support those values. It's more than likely that those who dismiss public action from their favorite artists as ineffective or suggest that support is being provided privately have not taken any tangible steps to support Palestine. Yes I am talking about the majority of the crowd chanting, "Theyre probably doing things in real life", "Posting isn't going to do anything", and "They're probably doing things behind closed doors".
I also saw criticism on here regarding the criticism for Greta Van Fleet and the support for Zionist artists. It is important to note and clarify that holding an artist accountable, having differing opinions on an artist's character than the rest of the herd, or criticizing an artist's actions does not equal a boycott.
Additionally, people who genuinely care about the Palestinian cause are not supporting artists who merely preach peace, love, and unity and/or claim to be a feminist or any sort of humanitarian in any form but have not demonstrated tangible support for Palestine. They are also certainly not supporting artists who are known Zionists. There is plenty of music and artists out there to listen to (especially in the rock genre) who have been openly supportive to the Palestinian causes and those similar to it that you don't have to listen to Zionist artists to have good music.
Furthermore, when it comes to Greta Van Fleet it is fine to separate the art from the artist. It's also fine to not do so, but their hypocritical actions are not something that we will continue to ignore. While there are several performative activists here, that is not the case for everyone. It is not fair that those doing tangible work both on and offline are being overshadowed and lumped with those doing it to avoid being 'cancelled' and are unwilling to be open about their blatant indifference to this humanitarian crisis (just like those who hide on this anonymous page and spew falsities about those speaking out are doing).
Artists engaging in insincere gestures or support or maintaining false images to maintain popularity and financial gains without actively supporting the causes they claim to is not a new situation. It is just something that has not ever been put as openly on blast as it is now thanks to social media, especially in light of recent events. This behavior from them mirrors that of their audience, which often blatantly overlooks their problematic behavior because of them being attractive (this was evident through all of SpeakupGVF).
There have been several actions from GVF (their open support for nfts, their lack of ticketmaster control despite being in the anti-ticketmaster documentary, having an entire social media platform based on a song condemning social media, etc. all things that artists who actually care about these issues have either not done or have openly spoken out against or have taken action against) that prove that, like many other artists, prioritizes relevancy and financial gain over genuine activism.
People who choose to remain ignorant of these facts are making a conscious decision to do so at this point and if you're choosing to do so, at least do not do so anonymously because at least be loud and wrong if you're going to be that wrong.
#greta van fleet#gvf#josh gvf#sam gvf#jake gvf#josh kiszka#danny wagner#danny gvf#jake kiszka#sam kiskza
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