#it probably tasted like trauma | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dirtytransmasc · 9 months

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alicole, but they're not in love in the traditional sense. like, they're just so desperate for meaningful, intimate, personal relationships where they can be vulnerable with another person, that they turn to find solace in one another.

like I'm not saying they're like a qpr or some variation of it, or like, that do to their individual traumas and experiences with love and relationships and sex in the past that their relationship has a aro/ace undertones to it... but that's also exactly what I'm saying, I just don't know how to fully articulate the concept in my head.

they don't have sex, they tried, but both ended up feeling sick to their stomachs, their touch burned one another a skin, and Alicent felt trapped like she had with Viserys for all those years, not only because of how her trauma effected her view of sex, but also because she was once again forcing herself to sleep with a man when she had no desire for it.

instead they hold one another steady, offer kind words, spend time with one another simply because it is nice to find leisure in other people. Cole helps with the kids, giving them some semblance of a father figure, of a protector and nurturer.

touch is a complicated subject, so foreign and damaged that the thought of it is nauseating, but in time it comes naturally.

she is not his, he holds no claim over her, and he is more than ok with that. he offers himself in his entirety, swearing his life to her and her children. they are not one, but they make each other whole.

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blood-orange-juice · 6 months

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I've seen an idea that Childe is riding the whale, in a sense that he has something positive to say about it, but like... Childe constantly talks about fishing and hunting large sea creatures and his specialty dish is described as "a bloodbath battle against a cracken".

He wants to fucking murder that thing. He wants to feast on the flesh of an eldritch God.

And you know what? You know why?

Because that's what bravery is or rather lifeshattering ptsd . Because he witnessed a threat, a monster that could destroy the entire world like it destroyed his. Because he is a hero, a protector of innocence. Because he has a family back on the surface. He has an entire nation, hell, the entire world! He has comrades, some weaker then himself at 14, some with the same eyes of the warrior as him.

So what's a hero to do? Defeat the monster, of course! Alone, of course, because who if not him? Lunging into the depth, drowning in magic and blood and conflicts far older than anything he can imagine. Destroying the beast completely for what if not his ("his") power can defeat it. Biting into its flesh full of rage as old as the word itself...

Finding yourself breathing that salty water...

I actually looked at the trailer yet again and before he does that last attack (which looks like riding the whale) he slashes the whale's tail leaving a wound. That's definitely not a friendly gesture.

So I think he's probably still riding it but with the intention to follow it into the rift and kill, yeah...

And also yes! Absolutely. That's 100% Childe's thought process.

But also real bravery is so much more than rushing into danger and the world is always more complicated than that (what if the whale's only fault is being mad from betrayal and grief), and nobody defeats an apocalyptic beast alone.

I hope he gets to learn it.

#I have a question though #does the whale taste like oysters?#does childe like oysters?#it probably doesn't matter if he likes them but I want to know #childe #tartaglia #childe's trauma whale #he who fights too long against dragons becomes a dragon himself #rinn talks to people #also everything is usually the opposite of what it looks with him #so I'm calling it:#him trying to kill that whale is probably the stupidest thing he could do #I'd be surprised if not

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angelpuns · 9 months

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Me: if I wasn't such a shitty sibling I'd have a better relationship with my siblings :(

Me and my siblings: *all have the same music taste*

Me: oh :)

#not a vent #jusr an observation #i like writing good sibling relationships despite mine being mediocre #but also we all 3 are bit uhhh #well we're all incredibly autistic #and probably have some levels of trauma #but idk bout that #anyway #just a nice revelation i got todau #also the music taste is literally just early 2000s punk rock #shoutout early 2000s music #even tho both of them are a lot younger than me #the point is im happy and i win

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lostryu · 3 months

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nobody:

some random cis/het white person: romanticizing my mental illness and trauma so i can be queer

#lost.txt #literally that is half of tumblr #like i’m sorry not every thing is a ‘valid sexuality or orientation’#sometimes you have. trauma. and that means you probably need therapy #or you’re normal and you need to get over yourself #like i’m sorry ur not gonna be attracted to everyone or want to be friends with everyone #it’s called having standards and taste #and that’s normal!!!#i’m begging people to go outside and actually talk to someone instead of blogging online about the most meaningless shit ever

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devondespresso · 8 months

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ladies and gentlequeers i think im going to add a karen outsider pov bonus/prequel chapter

#devon's steve henderson au #steve henderson au rambles #inspired by my rewatch of s1 and noticing how karens completely in the dark about stancy and calls steves mom #plus some headcanons i have about how they dealt with the trauma and how steve changed his so dramatically in the span of a year #mixed with karen never knocking and now knowing that nancy keeps things from her and even managed to hide loosing her virginity #and only got caught because her best friend went fucking missing #also might not hoard this one until the fics closer to done because its like 100% a prequel and outsider pov will probably need less editing #so maybe a lil taste of this in the series before The Big Fic comes out

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unhonestlymirror · 8 months

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Gojo Satoru is an awesome person, and people clearly don't value him enough

#i love him very much /platonically #only those who tasted war genocide all the cruelty and unfairness of this world can fully realise how awesome he is #I'm not talking about his appearance or powers #99% of content about him and geto usually focus on geto and glorify geto #and i think it's not fair #just because Gojo's the strongest sorcerer who behaves like a clown on purpose - does it mean he's deserves a treatment like to a clown?#i love content about him and nanami because it focuses on BOTH of them on BOTH of their traumas and how they find peace in each other #it doesn't make gojo inferior or superior like it does with him and geto #Gojo's the strongest not because he killed toji or because of six eyes or something #it's because despite everything he didn't became like geto #btw i believe that even if geto said back then 'yes kill them all' - gojo wouldn't do that. he would probably start screaming #despite it's still unclear who were all these clapping people #Gojo's the strongest because he didn't use hollow purple on geto back then because otherwise he could have killed lots of passbyers #for some reason gege really tries to make them look equal in everything - but he fails to me #gojo and geto never were equal and I'm not talking about their powers #people can't be equal and that's okay #to geto it was important to be equal to gojo not because gojo was gojo but because gojo was the strongest sorcerer #to geto it was important to be Gojo's friend because it gave him the sense of self-importance #and you should never base your self-importance on one person no matter how strong they are #because god will definitely laugh at you and will make to go through a life trial #geto didn't base his self-importance on his parents Yaga Shoko Haibara other people around him - only on Gojo #actually i believe such people are a veeeeery big red flag.#which gojo didn't see because he really really wanted to have a best friend to rely on #that's the difference between geto and nanami. although as we can see nanami also based quite a lot of his self-importance on gojo #nanago don't try to make gojo and nanami equal or superior or inferior - they make them look worth each other #i believe geto isn't worth gojo #also i find quite annoying the amount of art of gojo mourning geto #like man i prefer seeing gojo happy despite everything #gojo and geto are not tragic lovers they're both very traumatized by each other teens you guys just love unnecessary suffering #yk people who go through people's death on daily basis usually hate unnecessary suffering

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ourflagmeansgayrights · 2 years

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throwback to when someone got mad and blocked me for ranting in the tags of their post abt how making stede nice to izzy for the sake of steddyhands or stizzy content is ooc (which is totally fair, i didnt have to go off on their post, i probably shoud've just left them alone) but like

this is the HARMLESS thing i get mad abt. this is literally me being annoyed and petty over something stupid. i rant abt it bc it's nice to rant abt something the fandom does that annoys me but isn't like, actually a big deal. i dont ship stizzy or steddyhands or anything so it's not like i'm looking for in-character fics abt those ships and getting mad i cant find them. i'm not dying on this hill, i'm just standing on it yelling for a while until i get bored

#txt #mine #og #ofmd fandom crit #stede bonnet #izzy hands #steddyhands #stizzy #the real problem i have with stizzy content is i just dont care about it at all.#if ur gonna do it tho i feel like u should do stede justice??#like a GENUINE enemies to lovers not ''stede decides to pamper izzy for no reason even tho he hates izzy so fucking much''#however. my real problem with steddyhands content is the fics that make ed more violent/abusive than he is in canon #and also all the fics that brush off ed's trauma for the sake of coddling and babying izzy #like oh we're ignoring the protagonist of color to focus on the feelings of the white antagonist?? lmao alright. i see you.#and i DO talk abt these things. ive talked abt them a LOT #but it's nice sometimes to just. focus on and be mad abt something stupid #stede bonnet is a bITCH and he HATES IZZY HANDS #if u make him nice to izzy right off the bat im like Who The Fuck Are You And What Have You Done To Stede Bonnet #this is a personal pet peeve i dont think this is problematic or anything it just mildly annoys me. which is FINE!!!#ppl like different things it does not actually matter if i think u have bad taste. u probably think i have bad taste! it's Literally Fine.

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13eyond13 · 10 months

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Also. Also. On the topic of atmospheric classic novels, I just finished Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier and I highly recommend

#that one is kinda more my taste because its a bit more like #genre thrillery?#which is kinda more my thing haha #still gothy and atmospheric af but not QUITE as upsettingly full of too-real trauma and abuse like WH #but enough complexity and whatnot going on that it probably stays interesting over multiple rereads too #p

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cap-sweet-and-salty-sadness · 1 year

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I'm at that phase in my life where I think miscommunication is actually not sexy to use in fanfiction and shouldn't be used as a plot device, moreso if that's the entire plot.

#cap dit #not trying to bash anyone's tastes here but man i'm so fed up with the fics where one doesn't let the other speak their mind #like shut the fuck up and let him talk #it's probably related to personal trauma #open communication is sexy ty for coming to my ted talk

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ahyesthesufferingoftvteens · 1 year

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🎶✨when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (positivity is cool)🎶✨

(p.s. please feel no obligation to answer this if ur busy or just don't want to, just trying to spread some nice stuff among my moots :] also u haven't been active for a bit so i hope ur ok !!!@!!)

Time to finally answer this! Describe my vibes based on these songs I shall list:

Komm Susser Tod [From Evangelion]

Fame [David Bowie]

Ruler of Everything [Tally Hall]

Queens [Caravan Palace]

Chamber of Reflection [Mac Demarco]

Closer [Nine Inch Nails]

Mystery [Tenma Tenma]

Strobelite [Gorillaz]

Klapp Klapp [Little Dragon]

Miss You [The Rolling Stones]

Life's Been Good [Joe Walsh]

Venom [Kairiki Bear]

Emptiness, Emptiness of Emptiness [Kikuo]

Hypnotic Moon [Kissmenerdygirl]

Shine on You Crazy Diamond [Pink Floyd]

(I listed 15 songs because the more good music I spread the better, also I like way too many distinct songs that it would take me hours to pick ONLY 5 from my collection)

#I'm still torn from this selection TBH but I'm sticking with it #ask cursie #I genuinely don't know if a discernable vibe can even be picked up from these songs combined #like there are probably 6 different genres in here wtf is going on #my mom may have given me trauma but at least she gave me good taste in music (when it comes to the older songs on the list)#I was that kid that grew up on vocaloid and miku miku dance #got into future funk and electro swing later on #the rest are songs I just really like the sound of/vibe with #Komm susser tod is special komm susser tod is my theme song

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apollo-zero-one · 6 days

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Listening to stories of people who survived situations like being trapped in collapsed buildings and it kinda sounds like the human response to being trapped in a bad situation is to just keep going back to sleep until death comes. Thinking about depressive avoidant sleeping. Brain doesn't know you aren't trapped under rubble it can't see out of his bone prison brain just knows everything is bad and everything hurts and we can't handle this stress we need to divert all power to life support, night night.

#is that a horrible comparison to make? yeah probably in poor taste given the state of things #do I earnestly believe I am in as traumatic a situation as that? I think my brain is reacting the same way yeah. genuinely.#I think my brain has been in survial mode or death incoming mode for like. since middle school #I think I hit puberty and my brain decided we are dying slowly and painfully and has been reacting accordingly.#I think this year it got much worse tho I think this is when I hit the critical level because this is when I have been sleeping more #I hate that house and my roommates so much that I just sleep whenever I'm there. i don't eat much at home #I try not to drink much so that i don't have to use the bathroom as much and that also minimizes my kitchen trips.... I collect 2 litres of #water each morning. one for me one for my cat. his fountain stays full and I ration my water for myself and on the 4 nights a week I work #I will refill it at work. I am mostly trying to be unseen unheard in that house. Of course the dogs always hear me which is why I am so #careful. I only pass through that house twice a day: once in the morning and once in the evening. Coming and going.#on my days off that means only 2 bathroom trips per 24 hours but you know fucking what I still get bitten by a dog every time.#and wish I had just pissed in a bottle or something because they are jumping on me they are biting me there are tears in my eyes I am biting #my tongue because if I shout or tell them to stop their owner comes and yells at them. And they don't give a shit about being yelled at!!#but me??? Bleeding and anxious and trying not to piss myself?? I don't handle being yelled at well!! even if it isn't directed at me!!#I have RSD!! I used to cry in school when a teacher was chewing out SOMEONE ELSE !! and being SHOUTED genuinely at????#i am not coping well!! i do not feel safe in this house!!! between the actually getting bitten and the yelling!!!#and the yelling is nonstop because these women have issues with each other. bro I'm so fucking glad my dad moved out when he started having #Marital Issues bcos I think I'd have like 85% more childhood trauma if I had to listen to them fighting like this as a kid #shit I'm getting adulthood trauma from these women fighting. oh my god. angie dump your girlfriend for christ sake #and sTOP MOTHERING ME. I MOVED HERE TO GET AWAY FROM MY MOM AND THIS WOMAN IS WORSE THAN MY MOTHER ABOUT THE FUCKING MOTHERING.#Stop telling me what to wear!! Stop telling me what to eat!! Stop asking if I'm seeing anyone!!#this is my own fault I put myself in this situation and I am trying to claw my way back out but it isn't as easy as it was to get in ;-;#I hate myself I hate the decisions I made that got me here

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whos-norman · 9 months

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you guys will know what I’m talking about but I also REALLY hope you don’t cause the amount of flame I could catch for what I’m about to say is actually RIDICULOUS.

he is actually like REALLY hot. his voice is immaculate, he’s tall as SHIT (like he’s taller than him. he’s cannonly like 6’4.), and his personality imo is actually 😻😻, and I just want him to slit my throat and stand over me while I bleed out onto his shoes. like please I want my blood on his hands. he’d kill me if I even got CLOSE to as much as GRAZING him anywhere, but it’s worth it

#I apologize for my taste in men #I probably have some trauma that makes me like this but idrc🤭#I know I shouldn’t tag this because it’ll give away who I’m talking about and I’ll catch even more flame #just the pink text when referring to him is enough #idc tho🤭🤭#dsaf #I want him to degrade me #and strangle me🤭🤭#don’t tell me friends about this please #I’ll pay you 200 dollars

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bettsfic · 2 years

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today is my birthday! i’m 33 today and i have done an ungodly amount of stupid shit in my life that honestly probably should have gotten me killed. so here are 33 hard-won things i’ve learned that i wish someone had told me sooner.

whenever you buy an object, you are going to own that object for your entire life unless you make the conscious decision to throw it away or give it a new home. maybe other people don’t struggle with this as much as i do, but i’ve grown to become a little exhausted by finding a thing and realizing i don’t want it anymore, but i don’t have the energy or motivation to do anything with it. signed, a woman with a packed 10x10 storage unit who is now extremely hesitant to buy new things.

food, and by that i mean good food (and by that i don’t necessarily mean healthy food, but food of good quality that you love), is necessary to live, and buying it, preparing it, and eating it is not a chore. the sooner you accept this and make food a priority in your life, the healthier you’ll be.

speaking of food, not everything you buy should be the cheapest version of it. personally i’ve found it’s always worth it to splurge on good olive oil, butter, and canned tomatoes. for years i thought i was an awful cook because i was cooking with cheap, disgusting olive oil that made my food taste like shit.

speaking of food part 2, i can’t BELIEVE how long this took me to figure out, but mise en place is the real real. get your shit out and organized and prepped *before* you start cooking, even if it makes things take longer. and yes, it is always worth it to do the dishes as you go, which pisses me off.

when i was teaching myself how to cook and feeling daunted about it, the best advice i ever got was to aim to learn 15 recipes and then put them in rotation.

this is the most horrific and awful truth i have forced myself to accept: there may come a day you can no longer digest your favorite foods, and you will either have to stop eating them, or remain very close to a toilet. i’m sorry.

other people are always going to misperceive you and misunderstand you, sometimes willfully. other people’s opinions of you don’t actually have anything to do with you. they’re not your business, and you don’t have to worry about it or change yourself.

when innocuous or neutral things make you irrationally angry or upset, step back, realize you’re having a big reaction, and then when you’re ready, pay very close attention to the thing that upset you, because you’re about to learn something important about yourself.

a pill sorter can save your life. i don’t know how i managed my meds without one.

sometimes college is about learning stuff, and not about becoming something.

no matter how many perfectionist tendencies you have, it’s worth it to remind yourself that no matter how much of a mess you actually are, you deserve to be loved.

if you’re always forgetting to do important but tedious things, set an alarm and set aside one hour of each week, not to do the important tedious things, but to assess what needs to be done, and *schedule* the important tedious things for the following week. this literally changed my life.

during that hour, make a meal plan too. the point of doing this is condense the time in which you’re making decisions (what to do, what to eat, etc) so you don’t have to burden yourself with them throughout the week. decision fatigue is real. any way you can alleviate that is a good thing.

learn the difference between aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive, and assertive behavior. recognize when you’re being one of the first three, re-assess and aim for being assertive, even if it’s hard.

you can tell you’ve processed trauma, not when the traumatic thing stops upsetting you to think about, but when the traumatic thing takes up the same size in your brain as all your other memories.

if you’re one of those people who never seems to finish projects or follow through with things, there’s a chance you may just grow out of it naturally. until then, follow your interests and don’t feel bad about putting down a hobby to pick up another.

if you love stickers but have sticker anxiety, buy vinyl stickers. you can re-stick them.

there are only a few careers i can think of that you have to commit to early in life because getting the undergraduate credentials is a pain in the ass (teachers, doctors, and engineers, from my research). nearly everything else you can switch to later, which takes a LOT of pressure off having to figure out what you want to do with your life.

people say there’s no money in becoming an artist, writer, musician, etc. actually there’s a ton of money in all of those things, it’s just in the stuff other people want you to make and never what you want to make. it’s still worth it to develop the creative skill and not force yourself into business school because it’s more “practical” or whatever.

sleep when you’re tired. SLEEP WHEN YOU’RE TIRED. don’t beat yourself up about it, don’t tell yourself you shouldn’t be tired or that you’ve already slept too much, just take a fucking nap. you would never say “hm i’ve already had enough water today, therefore i should not be thirsty” so don’t treat sleep the same way.

when you build a piece of furniture from target or ikea or whatever, the first thing you should do is count all the little screws and things to make sure everything’s there that should be. it sucks to get halfway into putting something together only to find there’s a piece missing and you have to go buy it.

learn to travel by yourself, go out to eat by yourself, see a movie by yourself. in my early 20s i was scared to do these things, but i do them so often now i don’t even think about it. it’s the most fulfilling skill i’ve ever learned.

adding to the above, if you’re a people-pleaser, being alone is especially important, because you’ve probably developed the habit of making the people you’re with more comfortable and happy than yourself, and you’re missing a lot of the beautiful and interesting things around you. when you’re by yourself, you can focus on what *you* want without guilt.

sometimes you’ll want to break things off with a friend for reasons that are no one’s fault, and you don’t want it to be volatile or make a big thing of it, in which case the goal is to simply fade out of their life. it is okay to let people go.

shame is useless. get rid of it.

no matter how much of yourself you put into your art (or writing, or music, or whatever), when people criticize it, they are not criticizing you. they are having a reaction colored by their own tastes and perspectives. their opinion of your work has nothing to do with you. you don’t have to take everyone’s feedback. in fact you don’t have to take anyone’s feedback. the other side to this coin unfortunately is that compliments don’t have anything to do with you either. it’s good to accept this because it means you’ll stop seeking validation from other people and won’t let anyone else’s perspectives impact your work. anything nice anyone says about your work is merely a bonus to an already good thing.

if you’re an artist of any kind, take one day a year to look up opportunities like grants, funding, residencies, workshops, whatever. put the due dates of all of them on a calendar for the year following and get into the habit of applying for stuff. getting rejected sucks, application fees suck, but in all the years i’ve been doing this, it has always, always been worth it. these things give you a chance not only to help fund and support what you’re passionate about, but they force you to take your own work seriously, and that is something that’s absolutely necessary in order to be successful.

you must become your own greatest advocate. in all respects--in health, in love, in happiness, in freedom, you must. no one will ever fight as hard for you as you will. this in turn will give you the strength and motivation to help others fight for themselves too. the only way the world will ever get better is if every person on this planet learns to see themselves as equals to everyone around them.

brag about yourself as often as you can. for one, people develop their perceptions of you based on how you treat yourself and speak about yourself. but for two, it’s the fastest way to figure out which people to keep in your life, because they’re the ones who are going “oh hell yeah, you’re awesome.”

be the person other people want to brag to.

at some point in your life, someone is going to hurt you, and it’s going to be willful and intentional. it is not worth it to waste brain space figuring out why they did it or why you think you deserved it. all you have to do is let yourself feel that pain, acknowledge it, and try to move on.

no matter how bad off you think you are, recovery is possible. the first and hardest step is to learn you’re worth the time and effort it takes to recover from the awful things that have happened to you.

developing an expertise does not mean you’re getting objectively better at something. becoming an expert is only the process of seeing your mistakes and having the patience to sit in the discomfort of not knowing how to fix them.

#writing advice

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