grif's surgery but just a little more... obvious?

I actually rly rly ADORE frankengrif but I don't have an in-show reason why he'd have extensive long-term allogeneic skingrafts on his face 😔

I am really tired of a situation rn.

i miss getting all dressed up

🥀 men | minors | terfs do not fucking interact 🥀

I have wanted to wear crop tops during the summer for years and years and for so many reasons never felt like I could/should but y'know? Dammit this summer I am going to enjoy the sun and wear a fuckin crop top

Every single butch out there doing the lord's work inspiring my confidence and many of them with my body shape and I can dedicate myself to strength training because it's /fun/ and I want to see what I'm capable of and I like the feeling of power and who give a shit if I am still square and broad and sasquatchy and working out literally only ever bulks me up and never slims me in the slightest

i HATE my skin. i HATE having a body. i want to go away and just be a ghost

anyway as soon as i pry myself off this couch im gonna share some screenshots of bg3 protags on my sideblog. just gotta like. reach the desk first.

I have been feeling closer and closer to being able to see through this wave of depressy and creating something. I even cleaned my apartment 🥺 I might not be able to write anything but I have 2 pieces of art I started ages and ages ago and maybe I might be able to look work on one of them 🥺🥺🥺

i’m making huge generalizations here but idk i feel so much more comfortable just existing around trans (and some gnc) people than i do with people who are cis (and gender conforming) bc of the way we view our - and other peoples bodies. i hear trans people talk about bodies with so much love and adoration. like sure hating your body is a big thing for most trans people but most of us also learn to accept what we look like. and the acceptance often turns to genuinely liking yourself. especially if you make changes you want to to your body. it’s just. idk i feel like only a trans person could see my body for what it is

I got distracted working on part of a chapter later than the one I still need to finish and post and

Mike: Everyone’s afraid of Hopper, right?

Will, whose previous father figure was Lonnie and whose first memory of Hopper is him carrying him out of the Upside Down: 🤨

sketch wip update: I removed the blade from blade so now he's a bladeless blade 😆

(I still have the stabby version, but I wanted to try this too. i'm going to end up with multiple versions. should I post one or 2 of them?)

Viren + looking down (at Harrow)

i hate how difficult making massive projects is when it comes to art i am having the GREATEST idea for a video game but the only way it can come to actualization the way it needs to be to make it work is if i could get it picked up by a triple A studio

i keep thinking about making posts abt me de/retransitioning in hopes of reaching anybody that might need it but i don't really think they will and maybe thats for the best cause Tumblr is Insane and i think having even a few-hundred note post would kill me, but, for what it's worth...

the main thing that opened the door and let me be the gender i am and start to explore this was learning that... becoming cis isn't going to magically make me a raging transphobe, lol. changing my gender didn't feel like a big deal, but Becoming Cis, willingly, happily, openly, certainly did. hey, there's a word for people who become cis after being trans for quite some time! Hey, there is kind of a Loaded reputation and association for these people! and fuck, aren't i just lumping myself in with my worst enemies if i do this? if i go against what i've been defending all this time? if everything i've ever said and upheld and even introduced to others was WRONG for me????

so i realized smth i'm disappointed that i didn't learn the day, month, year i started questioning my gender back when i was like, 13: your gender is not inherently tied to any beliefs, opinions, personality traits, actions, etc. it's transphobic if you MAKE it transphobic. it WOULD be transphobic if i was saying "this is how it is for Everyone", or that "trans propaganda" Made Me like this or what the fuck ever, but, these aren't things i believe or agree with, so i don't say them, they aren't what my de/retransition is fueled by, and i'm not spreading these ideas about transness and detransition because I Can Still Vocally Be Against These Ideas Regardless Of My Gender!!!

you can be whatever you want, genderwise, beliefswise, cis or trans or something else, binary or nonbinary or something else, dysphoric or nondysphoric, having or not having this body part, this style you wear, this haircut, etc etc etc. the beliefs youve spent however long sticking to and living by aren't gonna magically fall out of your grasp if you do 'The Wrong Thing' with your gender, any opinion youre proposed with has to go through you first, and if your answer is 'no' it can just stay 'no'. you aren't transphobic for exploring your gender (quite the contrary i would say), and if anyone insists you inherently are regardless of what you do, well... prove them wrong. :P

I don't know how to say "my gender is something nonhuman and not able to be comprehended while adhering to our current society's standards of what men and women are supposed to be, never mind the fact that my preferred form is not a human body at all" without the other person being concerned...

...........

>:[