The more stuff about bkdk that Hori draws, the more it feels like their hearts are on a direct path to each other. That bkdk isn’t even about possibilities anymore... because their feelings of love finally connecting to each other feels like an inevitability. After every shounen I’ve read up until now, it’s like I’ve slipped onto another timeline that shouldn’t exist but it does and we’re in it right now. It’s got me all blissed out like Kacchan when his last thoughts were of Izuku. I dont know how else to describe this feeling. It’s a very strange and surreal time right now...

'The Art of Conveyance and Round-Trippery' Liveblog!

Sorry this is a few days late!! I moved across the country this weekend, we drove like 13 hours within 2 days and we did a lot of heavy lifting. I'm exhausted, but the boxes are slowly emptying and I've been wanting to watch this episode so gd bad, so LESGO

Over halfway through the season!!!! That's absolutely surreal

1:11 oooh they're getting their royal fitting

1:22 LMAOO WTF 😂😂 Princess Diaries vibes

1:42 ✨CONFIDENCE✨

1:52 Alfonse is a perfect name for that guy HAHA

2:05 Nathaniel, my guy, you've made some points

2:11 "do you feel your power?" POWER RANGERS, GO

2:24 no no hesitation just prolly thinkin bout how he was caught cheatin

2:39 "can you not allow yourselves luxury?" okay fr I feel that I get Nice Things Guilt(tm) too easily

2:52 dayummmm let's talk about Sticky being a hat stall between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, mans is brave as fuck under extreme pressure and loyal to the point of putting himself on the line

3:15 bro Sticky getting some recognition. Love to see it, he deserves it

3:19 "is that a coincidence? Or written in the stars?" IS DR. CURTAIN CATCHING ON THAT THEY KNEW EACH OTHER BEFORE OR LIKEEEE

3:49 WHAT WORD AROUND CAMPUS 😭😭😭 MY BOYS ARE NOT A MISTAKE HOW DARE YOU

4:09 why doess the action of Dr. Curtain putting the sash on them seem so nefarious

4:36 I dont really understand the whole pastel yellow, blue, and pink palette of the school but the boys both look pretty okay in their vest-sash getup

4:42 THE OPENINGGGGG. This shit slaps.

5:41 Kate and Constance look so fucking cute in that shot, dont ask me why but hnnggggg

5:54 sash rope 😂😭 kate, honey, that's a reach

6:09 it might feel buttery, but, my guy, it also looks buttery. It's literally the color of butter. Get yourself some crisco

6:24 I find it kinda interesting that they made up new riddles for the show, I'm almost positive that that one wasn't in the book. Correct me if I'm wrong though

7:03 "I'm not gonna apologize for knowing things" the sass. the ✨confidence✨. living for it

7:03 If they build on that it sets Sticky up really nicely for the arc in the second book where he starts to show off a little

7:15 tiny Constance who is constantly dressed in pink with cute little braids is the perfect medium for the most morbid comments 😂😂

7:55 Martina's hot in her uniform. Can't prove me wrong.

8:15 why does that make me sad 🥺 eat with your friendssss. iirc they only talked about eating at the Messenger table in the books

8:26 dipshits forgot their lunches. Seems Constance is holding the communal braincell atm

8:50 anyone have Guiness on speed dial? Reynie and Sticky have a submission for them

9:25 oh hello this was alluded to in the preview!!! Morse code is compromised, rip

10:05 so are Jackson and Jillson stuck with night guard duty all the time?? They've been outside at night a lot

10:18 ahhhhhh the little blinkie light, stopppp

10:25 MILLIGANNNNN!!!

10:25 so is this the point where he starts staying on the island with them????

10:39 so are they just like "fuck it we'll do it right before sundown" ???? Like Jackson and Jillson are still gonna be on the lookout, they aren't gonna chill just because it's not fully dark

10:50 did the kids.....just not tell them that Mr. Bloom was on the island 😂 nice oversight guys

11:05 MADGE TIME MADGE TIME

11:05 remind me to tell you guys a story about Madge, I may or may not have done something irl a few years ago that would make y'all proud 😂😂😂

11:16 idk why but it makes me so happy that they kept Madge as a peregrine falcon

11:37 Rhonda, my love, you have my heart in your hands

11:46 roll credits

12:05 THE HEAD SHAKE HAHAHAH

12:06 Awww man, I was so excited for Milligan to be on the island .-. He must have been scoping out the inlet

12:07 "they're quite regal" A. I read the subtitles as "legal" the first time and that's somehow really in character for him, and B. IS MILLIGAN GOING TO NAME HER???!? HER MAJESTY???? PLEASE I WOULD LOVE THAT SO MUCH

12:15 his grimace KILLS ME

12:17 the hard cut from Nicholas in a brown setting and brown suit to Nathaniel in a blue setting and blue suit was lowkey striking

12:36 are they looking up Morse code 😳 can you imagine if they wrote down the message and are now decoding it

12:41 omfg all that for a HAT 🙃 I feel stupid

12:51 two things: 1. Those walls are atrocious, and 2. Yeah, talk about Morse code in a louder voice Connie girl, you're just in a public hallway

13:03 I'm sorry but those orange pillar things are not the vibe

13:03 the golden gate bridge called, they want their arches back

13:10 please let Kate climb the tower before the end of season 1. please.

13:22 y'all are about to be flying something else 😎

13:33 cleansing breaths

13:47 OH HELLO MESSENGER DUTY ALREADY??

14:06 what the heck is that teal pole for 😭😭

14:12 blindfold timeeee

I'm so sorry but I'm exhausted, it's 11:30 pm on Sunday night right now, I'll finish this episode tomorrow morning after I get some sleepies

~~

Good morningggg lesgetatit

14:50 "vomit of metal" ashhdjdjd

15:16 a wild Martina appears!

15:36 and if you folks look to your left, you'll see a wild Constance being the voice of reason once again

15:57 "lose the bucket" "I'm not gonna do that" HELL YEAH KATE

16:07 I get not having the bucket on the court lolol, I thought Martina was telling Kate to lose the bucket in general. Like, yeah, good luck convincing her to so that

16:35 show!Kate is much angrier than book!Kate and I'm still deciding how I feel about that. The Kate we've known from the books is a sunshine baby with looots of repressed trauma.

17:03 ......what is that. why is that.

17:11 WAIT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE REYNIE AHEHDJDJD

17:15 HI MADGE

17:41 the grand swell in the music makes me think it's going to go comically wrong

17:51 she's majestic because she's a queen 🥺

18:03 LMAO CALLED IT

18:14 Rhonda and Number Two getting at each other is such a sisterly thing to do 😂😂😂

18:37 ohhhhh? Someone's approaching? Miss Perumal perhaps????

18:45 YEAHHHHH BABY

18:50 PROTECTIVE MOM COMIN IN HOT!!!

19:22 THEYRE SO PRECIOUS 😭😭😭😭 I feel like I've been subconsciously starved for her and Mr. Benedict's interactions

19:36 died at that line in the one trailer

20:00 so Miss Perumal pulled a Sherlock Holmes. Love that for her

20:20 Cheri Tupintown??? Of all the aliases they could pick, Cheri Tupintown???

20:33 "Power in Truth Inc" that HAS to be something Rhonda came up with

21:01 you can literally watch Mr. Benedict realize that this is a woman not to be fucked with and he is CORRECT

21:23 "he's fine. Perfectly fine." At this, Mr. Benedict's pants caught aflame.

21:52 something about Constance sitting in on practice!!! It scratches an itch!!!!

22:19 "incorporate the helix. Live in the helix." Lord Helix is pleased with this offering.

22:26 so what I'm hearing is Kate is going to blow up on Constance for messing with the bucket

23:13 unrelated but Jillson'a shoes are cute

23:29 why does this room give off Johnny Depp's willy wonka vibes

24:13 that looks like a chair from a doctor's office waiting room 😭

25:29 they do be egg heads tho

26:02 baby girl, I have no idea why you're crying at weird art but let me dry your tears 🥺🥺

26:50 SHE FOUND ITTTT

27:27 okay Indiana Jones, go off

27:46 why did that kinda sound like Miss Perumal

28:43 the return of everyone's favorite, "enjoyable"

29:05 not that I'm not loving the ice breaker questions and the one-sided conversation, but I'm not loving it

29:22 oh so we're getting right into it aren't we

29:54 his eyes being open again makes this infinitely creepier

30:36 "where's your proof?" Miss Perumal doesnt fuck around!!!

31:29 you're telling me Constance has been there all day?? And Kate went to find her???? 🥺

31:58 oh so we're getting right to it then?? Kate addressing her independence and trust issues arc????

33:29 NEWS!!!!

33:49 CONSTANCE RIDING PIGGYBACK!!!!!!

34:04 okay, so they opened the murder hole, what are they gonna do now

34:59 Italian? 🤨 m'sir that is so fancy

34:59 fun story I learned Italian diction in college, so I know a little bit

35:16 "take your time" the whisperer says, immediately repeating the prompt to get the answer sooner

35:31 theeeeere it is

35:46 SOMETHING ABOUT THE WHISPERER SAYING "YOU ARE HOME" 😭😭😭 the show really played up the cult shit!!

36:02 Kate being protective of Constance 🥺

36:20 ohhh shit is it time for Connie girl to have double Reynie? Double Sticky?

36:36 STICKY

36:52 "what kind of nonsense?" HAVE THEY NOT ASKED THAT BEFORE THIS?????

37:14 "and your tiny brain can somehow pick it up!!" KATE STOP 😂😂😂

37:16 "I knew you had to be special in some way." WE DONT HAVE TIME TO UNPACK ALL OF THAT

37:51 she's right, this is disregard for their safety. The show made Mr. Benedict and his team a lot more back-alley and dishonest, and Miss Perumal has every reason to be pissed

38:30 oh good they finally remembered he has narcolepsy

39:38 and the best mom award goes to:

40:38 I was gonna say that this hallway is how I imagined the KEEP in riddle of ages but then I remembered that (spoilers) the Institute is the KEEP

40:46 oh, hello propoganda

41:10 that's the other person Rhonda couldn't contact, along with Mr. Bloom. This has to be the brainsweeping process

41:22 yeppppp

41:44 this dark doctor's office theme gives me horror movie vibes

42:22 ohhhh, so that's how they replaced that scene where the four of them jump in a crate to hide and Sticky drops his glasses in the open

42:47 and so we've come to the part of the story where Sticky and Reynie become infinitely more conflicted

42:47 and since we've reached that point..... can we have the white knight scene? Pretty please? Please Disney I'm begging you-

43:12 so Reynie just figured that out without Constance? :/

44:03 love the manipulation

44:31 I'm sorry, the farm?

44:35 farm and forest????

45:16 "the Emergency has served its purpose" 😳 well okay then murder man

45:39 "one thought, one purpose" the hive mind rises once more

45:48 LOVE THE MANIPULATION

46:07 "what have you done to earn anyone's trust?" VALID

46:26 "please do!" WHY AM I EMOTIONAL

47:06 "we still have the falcon" that you do 😂

47:19 AYYY HERE WE GO!!! Time for Milligan to stay on the island??

47:49 ohhhh Constance, casual telepath strikes again

48:16 "stop it, Kate!" OOOOHHHHH

48:53 that line ("it would be nice to be unburdened") would be funny as shit if not for the fact that Constance is a telepath unbeknownst to herself and can both subconsciously perceive people's thoughts and hear the subliminal messages

49:20 HI MRS. PERUMAL!!!

49:25 wow, she's really going through with it 😳 not that I doubted her, but still, that's dedication

49:39 OH SHIT

50:17 oh, so he's an asshole to SQ too. Got it. Torches and pitchforks? Ready to kick his ass?

50:40 "for the moment, anyway" FUCKIN WHAT

This episode was really good!!! They covered a LOT. I hope Miss Perumal comes back to the group and talks about her findings, I hope Milligan goes to get the kids and they tell him no, and I hope they get that classic 4-person Society brainstorming and binding time that hits that sweet spot

Survey #459

“i wanted you to know that i love the way you laugh  /  i wanna hold you high and steal your pain away”

Does the person you like have any flaws? He's never seemed very expressive of what he feels. Has anyone ever given you a ring? Why? Yes. Because it was our anniversary and he wanted to, ig. If you ruled your own country, what type of government would it have? I'm not educated enough to answer this. Creation theory, Evolution or the Big Bang theory? I really don't know what I believe about the origins of the universe, but I do believe in evolution. Describe one of your most emotional farewells. The last time I saw Jason and we talked for a long time, and I finally got my closure. It was all so heavy. It started so stiffly, but it ended with us just chatting and smiling and, to my absolute shock, a hug from him. I'm getting emotional so NEXT QUESTION. What was your last serious conversation about? I was reassuring and comforting Sara about some stuff. Is there a city that you have a particular fondness for? If so, what city is it and why? No. Are there any gnomes in your yard? No. When was the last time you were stung by a bee? What kind was it? Years ago. A bumblebee. Are you gonna buy lottery tickets when you’re old enough? I am old enough, and no. The odds are way, way too small, and I don't really dabble in addictive behavior. Have you ever been into a real cave? No. :( That's a life goal, though. Have you ever posted mean comments on YouTube? I know I did once as a kid. It was regarding Meerkat Manor and I thought it was really disrespectful to Flower just because of the music chosen lmao. The drama. What color is your digital camera, if you have one? Black. If you had to spend one day in any movie storyline, which one would it be? Alice in Wonderland, I suppose? Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): Oh man, I've played waaaaay too many video games. I suppose Silent Hill with how confused it left me at first. Its concept is definitely wild. Parasite Eve is high on the list, too. In your opinion, what is the saddest movie you’ve ever seen? Boy in the Striped Pajamas destroys me. What is the best song to make out to? I could answer this but I'm not gonna lmfao Is there anyone right now that you are simply/overly infatuated with? story of my life ayyyyeeeee Who was the last person to play with your hair? Are they cute? Not a clue. Who was the last person close to you that died? Did you cry? Jason's mom. I sobbed on-and-off for days. Do you consider yourself a healthy person? Physically and mentally? No, in either way. Do you know anyone who owns a boat? My dad does. I'm sure others, too, with how popular fishing out on a boat is here. Do you know anyone who uses medical marijuana? I don't know. Even for medicinal purposes, it's not legal here. Do you know anyone who’s died in childbirth? No. What did you do for your 21st birthday? I was in the psych hospital, so... lmao. Therapy, reading, and coloring. Lots of reading and coloring. Because they did NOT fill your schedule enough there. We only had two group therapy sessions a day, and the rest was just... blankness. If dinosaurs could be tamed, would you want one as a pet? I know I'd be one of the dumb ones that absolutely wanted a tiny raptor, lol. Do you own more than one copy or edition of a book? No. If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? Not interested. Do you eat soup when you’re sick? I don't like soup. If you read, which book or series did you enjoy most as a child? My first real series that I read religiously was Hank the Cowdog. Then it was Warriors. Do you buy Halloween candy when it’s on sale after the holiday? No. I really don't need candy available to me. Do you agree with the “they’re just being kids” excuse? It depends on what they're doing. In a lot of cases, no. Do you ever watch talk shows? No. Do you have a/any hero(s)? Mark Fischbach, Steve Irwin, my mom... Have you told your parents all of your secrets from when you were a teen? No. Though Mom has playfully once told me that she knows a lot of things I don't think she does, and that's terrifying lmao. You’re getting married. Who’s your maid of honor and best man? M.o.H.: Mom or Sara. Best man isn't my choice. Would you rather get highlights or dye your whole head? DYE IT ALLLLLLL. Are you wearing anything of any sentimental value? Describe? My friendship ring w/ Sara. It has a heart carved on the outside and "bitch" engraved inside so no one can see when you have it on, lol. She has one that says "jerk." It's a Supernatural reference. Who challenges you the most? In what way? My therapist and psychiatrist. They just help ensure I pursue my goals and give me little nudges forward to reassure me. Who seems to hold you back? In what way? PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT ME. I listen to my anxiety WAY too much. What was the last opportunity that you passed up, and why? Going up to Lake Gaston w/ Mom to visit Ash and her fam. They go there all the time, and it's a real nice place. I just didn't want to go because of the heat. Should there be an application process for having children? Hunny, that would not stop people from fuckin lmfao Name one thing that you think defines you as a person? m e e r k a t s What is a fear you have about living on your own? That depression would get the better of me and I'd neglect taking good care of my house. One of the many reasons I'll never live alone. Not at all saying I'd leave the responsibilities to my partner, but they'd be motivation for me to get stuff done. What’s the worst name your mom has ever called you? I don't know. Nothing that bad. What’s your stance on spooning? It helps me feel safe and loved and alsdkfjalwe I just love cuddling in all sorts lmao What’s your most recent obsession? Violet Orlandi & Melodicka Bros' cover of "Somebody That I Used to Know." Have you ever been scammed? Ha ha, yes. I once wanted to get Jason a Joker and Harley Quinn pillow from deviantART; talked to the artist, paid 'em, never got it. :^) Have you ever fostered an animal? No. I would get WAY too attached to foster. I wouldn't be able to give them up without breaking down, probs. Do you know anyone who acts way younger than what they are? I'm sure I do, but no one is coming to mind atm. Would you say you’re a pretty independent person? God no. Does the last song you listened to, remind you of someone? JASON. Do you currently want a new computer? Yes, actually. I want a desktop PC for better gaming quality, honestly. Also, the "escape" key doesn't work on this laptop, one key is missing so I have to hit the sensor JUST right, and it restarts randomly sometimes. I want a PC mainly because I want to get out of the habit of being on my laptop in bed all damn day. How would your parents react if you got a tattoo? I already have like six or seven, so they wouldn't be surprised. Is there anyone you can picture yourself being with forever right now? Maybe. Who is your truest friend? Sara. What is the strangest thing you’ve ever seen outside of your house? THIS house? Idk. Nothing that I'd consider odd. What bug frightens you most? STAG BEETLES lkadjslkfja;lwekjawl;kejrlawer Who is your oldest friend? That would be Sam, and he's in his mid-30s. How long have you known them? Many years. We met via WoW, which I've been playing since '14. I don't really remember how far into it we met, though. Where are they right now? lol I wouldn't know, he's all the way in Jersey. Plus we haven't talked in a while. Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? God no, that would be so weird. What is the best gift someone can give you? An ear to listen without it feeling like a chore to them. Have you ever dated someone who had a child? No. I don't think I could do it. What is the last movie that made you cry? The The Lion King remake made me tear up. Have you ever played in a waterfall? No. Ugh, that sounds like a blast. In your life who has meant the most to you? Let's not get into this. What has been your biggest failure in life? Letting depression and my other conditions take away my identity, becoming my new identity. Do you trust yourself? No. I second-guess EVERYTHING and never know what I should listen to: my heart, my head, my gut... or which voice is what. Would you ever consider getting an abortion, under any circumstances? Yes. What was the last bug you killed? Some kind in the bathroom. Idk what it was. Just a little thing that sort of resembled an earwig, but not completely. Do you prefer profile pictures by yourself of with someone else? By myself, since it's my page. Do you know anyone who has written a book? I don't think so? Do you drink milk/juice from the carton if no one is around? Ew, no. I live with another person, and even if I didn't, what if I had guests? Has anyone ever told you they liked you in a realllly sweet way? Maybe? Has a member of the opposite sex ever given you jewlery? Jason has. Do you find sleeping in cars easy? NOOOOOOOOOO. I'm too scared to let my eyes close and not see what's going on on the road. Has a boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s parents ever gotten mad at you? Why? I don't believe so, no. What is the funniest thing a child has ever said to you. Definitely something my niece has said, but idr what it was. What’s been on your mind lately? Y'all know, lol. Do you feel like you need to get something off your chest? No. Sara was recently there for that. ♥ How would you react if someone told you they had feelings for you? Be very very excited if it was from a certain person.

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? ooooof. I don’t think i’d buy that. I hardly think people who DO show they have feelings for me are being truthful, so I doubt that.

Do you play video games? haven’t in some time, but I want to get back into it a little.

Do you spend a lot of time with family? oh heck yeah. I have a really great family.

Is your house more than two stories tall? nah, it’s the two stories with a basement.

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? I will never raise my hands to another human being. I once dated someone who was a veteran and had severe ptsd. we were napping one time and he got aggressive. that wasn’t HIM though. 

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) physically, I suppose I have nice eyes and a decent smile. personality wise, I am warm, friendly, loving, supportive, sometimes funny, very loyal.

What color is your hairbrush/comb? depends which one I use. I have a pink one right now. 

What snacks do you have available in your household atm? I honestly haven’t got a clue. I haven’t been let out of my room in 2 weeks.

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? yes. it’s weird.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? DEF not. he has been asking me out since we worked together maybeeeee.. 8-9 years ago? 

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? yes! I am trying to learn how to undo that. it’s not that I don’t want to care about him, but I know and can soooooooo clearly see that he doesn’t care anymore, and it is extremely emotionally draining to watch.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? I wanna say female but idk

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? scott

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? couple days ago.

Do you play any games on Facebook? Nope.

What would you like to get a degree in? I have two degrees -- one in psych and one in SLP. 

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? ahahahaha yes. almost always wide awake from 3-6

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? typically more in the movie/show or book mood.

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater? Both. nothing like that buttery, salty goodness that obvs requires an enormous drink

What genre of films do you like the best? either make me EXTREMELY sad, or romantic.

How many bank accounts do you have? 2

Have you ever had the flu? Yeah.

What is your goal for the next few months? i have several. the only one that can/will be public right now, is to get my lungs back to functioning as they were.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life? yes. I have very bad breathing during sleep. I have had 11 sleep studies done, because my breathing will just stop randomly, which luckily my brain wakes me. it doesn’t really affect my like severely.. I function normally. but shoooooot, if I got normal levels of sleep i’d be a force to be reckoned with.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. Yes. It was AWFUL. vomiting for 2 days straight. it was so gross.

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. smart and romantic.

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? hmm. I think there have been times where i’ve let people have more access to me than they should have had. or there have definitely been times I’ve been used in school groups. But honestly, I tend to be protective of myself. I stop when I feel enough is enough. 

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? I would want either Bill to not die, or for her to be spoiled incessantly by someone else.

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? psh. no. my friends are all tiny which is just not fun.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? Yeah. i found it so fun.

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? ahahahaha no. 

Which is worse: dusting or mopping? mopping. i hate doing the floors.

Did you pull a senior prank? Not really advised when a homeschooler. 

Did you graduate? Yes. that was a rough, rough day.

Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? Nope

What was the last song you listened to? i think it was Happier than Ever by billie eilish. the lyrics are ... woof. 

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? 20/12 -- the last time I had insurance anyway.

Is fashion one of your interests? honestly, if I had money, it would be. but it isnt right now.

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? It’s getting harder and harder to believe that will be the case. I knowwwww I need to start dating, but every time I go to open up an app, I hesitate and chicken out. I just was so happy before.. its hard to think I could be able to offer anything to anyone right now.

Do you care what people think? veryyyyyy few people. I care about the thoughts of those I genuinely love and respect. However, I still ensure I’m protecting myself regardless.

Is acting something you enjoy? No. 

What was the last thing you broke/sprained? I have a bum knee, so I sprain that from time to time. I last broke a finger.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? ahahahaha yes. but years ago. never because of mine.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? No. I don’t cuss. 

Whose house, other than yours and your families’, are you most comfortable at? probably either nathan’s or em’s.

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? alix’s family used to yell at me a lot for being fat. that used to mess me up. 

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? soccer. no, i found the endless running to be unnecessary. 

Did you ever watch the show Full House? yup

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? no, thats so out-of-touch with reality

Have you ever burned someone’s picture? yes, i have.

What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on? i think it was 8 hours. I hate hate hate hikes. But, thats because I have really weak lungs, so my doctor says it’s like lighting them on fire.

Would you ever get a lip tattoo? No.

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? kile

Do your parents smoke cigarettes? my mom hasn’t since a teenager. I think my dad does still. though, i dunno for certain.

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? uhhhh, PTK honors society

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. Any reptile or insect. <<<< same

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? Taller. 

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Yes. very much so.

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? No, i respect people who are truthful saying they either try not to judge, or that they do judge despite their desire to stop.

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? sooooooo much. it’s small town-y, quiet, safe, lots of trees, family close by.

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? ps i love you will always shatter my heart.

What’s your favorite restaurant? buona or ashford

Is there a dessert you don’t like? im not wild about pastries.

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? hmmm maybe that one mrs. pettigrews home for peculiar children.

Underwater or outer space? i’m fascinated by both. typically more interested in the water.

Dogs or cats? both. all of them.

Kittens or puppies? kittens.

Bird watching or whale watching? whales!!!!!!!!

What was your best subject in school? in HS probably history. or science. in college, psych or neuro.

What was your worst subject in school? Math. always freakin’ math.

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? Uhhh. hm. i don’t think anything. I liked my experience.

Who is your fashion icon? nada.

Diamonds or pearls? Both are nice. I love pearl stud earrings and I really want a simple, one pearl necklace. I am kinda ruined for diamonds for some time. My favorite rings and necklace were diamonds from kile and I just cant bring myself to wear those anymore.

What color dress did you wear to prom? pink

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? oh sure. I am envious of those with bangin’ bods. I’m envious of those who have great finances. I am envious of those who live life married to their love. I’m envious of people who see kile regularly. But there are difficulties that come with any of those situations.

Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? not long ago. the whole crushing reality of losing kile just destroyed me. I’m OK now.

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? ahahahahah. I just reject all calls.

Who are you closest to? My mom and nathan rn.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience? no

Are you currently sad about anything? several things have recently been really saddening, but I’m ok. Ill get thru it.

Have you had any form of exercise today? Its going to be some time before I’m cleared for that. I almost faint from taking a shower and I have to be on oxygen after doing the one flight of stairs. 

Can you handle blood? doesn’t bother me at all.

Has any place hired you underage for a job? yes. I mean technically, I was legal to work in that I was 17, but the company didn’t want to hire younger than 18.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? not like in public, but at a house or gun range, yes.

Are you currently searching for a job? soon.

Does eating breakfast make you sick? i’m never ever ever hungry for it. I know i should, but its the worst. I don’t even like breakfast foods.

WPS Chapter 6 Text Translations

Hey guys, here are the text translations for Wild Police Stories Chapter 6! We’ve had this chapter in our files for a while and decided to upload these translations while we slowly work through TLC’ing all the other chapters in our ZTT backlog. For reference here’s the rest of the series: https://mangadex.org/title/41916/wild-police-story. Enjoy! TL: Manaphy TLC: Holmes/Spimer

Page 1

Upper text: CASE.6: Without reserve Original Work: Gosho Aoyama Artist: Takahiro Arai

Side text: What is “justice”...? And what is “Strength”...?

Date arc final chapter!

DETECTIVE CONAN Police Academy Arc

“Wild Police Story”

Page 2

Robber: Stop being so slow… Left sign: Bank ATM Front + Ground signs: Delicious and healthy - Deposit now

Robber: Hurry up and move it!

Robber: How much is left? Robber: Around 400-500 grand...

Robber: Now listen up! Every time one of you makes any noise… We’ll kill you off one by one!

SFX: Slam

Side Text: If you aren’t stronger than anyone else, you’ll never be able to enforce justice… Furuya learned the true meaning behind Date’s words. Now, those two are in a predicament...

Page 3

Date: Shit! First of all, I gotta remove these cable ties… SFX: Rustle Rustle

SFX: Slip

Date: I see! With the frictional heat generated by rubbing the shoelaces against the cable tie…

SFX: Rub Rub

SFX: Snap

Date: Not bad, Furuya! SFX: Rip Amuro: Please untie everyone else too!

SFX: Clatter

Amuro: As I thought, it’s locked, huh…? Date: But what is the culprits’ aim?

Page 4

Amuro: It's the money meant to restock the ATM! Amuro: For security purposes, no one is told when the ATM will get restocked… Amuro: ...but by checking the transactions made at the ATM from its surveillance footage, it can roughly be predicted...

Amuro: If they let their friends continuously take money out when there’s less than one million yen left… Amuro: ...someone would rush here to restock the ATM from the bank! Date: Now I see… It's a crime they can't commit without the clerk as an accomplice...

Date: But why aren’t they hiding their faces? Date: The clerk isn’t even wearing sunglasses…|Amuro: They’ll probably want to kill us all when they’re done…

Customer: N-No way… Even though I just came here to buy some water... Customer: I-I came here to buy snacks for my daughter... Date: Don’t worry! We’ll do something!

Date: Anyway, we’ve got to think of a way to escape from here… SFX: Plunk

Amuro: The switchboard!

Amuro: This might do the trick!? Left sign: Bank ATM Front + Ground signs: Delicious and healthy - Deposit now

Page 5

Matsuda: Sure enough...

Matsuda: ...if a thing like that happened, it’s no wonder squad leader Date thinks that his dad’s a wimp…

Hagiwara: Yeah… A policeman on duty knelt down in front of a criminal, after all… Matsuda: Well, it’s not like I don’t get how the leader feels, though…

Matsuda: After all, when my dad was falsely arrested for suspicion of murder… Matsuda: I was continuously called the son of a murderer, and was on the verge of hating my dad too... Sticker: “Murderer”

Matsuda: Although in my case, I was told to “believe in my dad and wait” by the guys from the gym… Matsuda: which helped me go on without having my feelings getting hurt... Hagiwara: Heeeh…

Matsuda: So, Morofushi… Matsuda: I dunno what happened to you in the past, but…

Matsuda: If you tell us about it, our worthless advice… Matsuda: ...might end up being of some help to you, y’know? Morofushi: H...

Page 6

Morofushi: H... Morofushi: E… Morofushi: L… Morofushi: P…

Matsuda: What, right now? Morofushi: T-That’s not it! Morofushi: Look!

Morofushi: The light from the convenience store’s sign… Morofushi: That’s further ahead...

Morofushi: Just like Morse code... SFX: Shoom Sign: NOWSON - Bank ATM

Morofushi: ...it's switching on and off... SFX: Pop

Hagiwara: Oi oi, that’s… Matsuda: ...not really… Matsuda: ...an impression...

Page 7

Woman: Eeeh? No waaay! Sign: Delicious and healthy - Deposit now (mirrored)

Woman: Under renovation!? Man: It can’t be helped, let’s go to another store! Label: Under renovation - Our deepest apologies for the inconvenience. Shop manager

Robber: Looks like the security company’s car passed the traffic lights… Robber: You can go rip off the “under renovation” label anytime now! Robber: Yeah!

SFX: Screech Car inscription: Integrated Security Signs: Delicious and healthy - Deposit now

SFX: Whirl

SFX: Clack

Page 8

Gang: Wassup? ♪

Hagiwara: Oi, seriously? Hagiwara: Ain’t that a rifle? Matsuda: Don’t fret, dude! Matsuda: That’s a fake used in shootin’ movies or somethin’ like that, I’m tellin’ ya!

Morofushi: Hey, hey, what kinda movie ya doin’? Morofushi: Let us take part too! Robber: Ah, no…

Matsuda: A cop role or the likes for me, pop! Robber: A weird trio just barged in… Robber: They’re only three people! Robber: It doesn’t matter, wipe them out!

Page 9

Girl: No way, they’re really shooting a movie!? Girl: That sounds so thrilling, no joke! ♪ Robber: Whaaat!?

Hagiwara: Hey, everyone! They say they’ll let you take part as extras! SFX: Yeaaah

SFX: Thud thud thud

Date: Hey... It’s becoming extremely noisy... Date: What’s going on? SFX: Yeaaah

Morofushi: Sorry for the wait, Zero! Amuro: Hiro! SFX: Ker-chak

Date: H-How? Morofushi: We received the Morse code message from the signboard and came to apprehend the culprits! Morofushi: Not with power...

Page 10

Morofushi: But with numbers…

Amuro: I see now, you made the students from the police academy act as customers and had them gather here… Date: With this, we’ll get another good scolding from Instructor Onizuka tomorrow...

Matsuda: Well, we only did what your dad tried to do back then, leader… Matsuda: Ain’t that right? Hagi! Date: Eh? Hagiwara: Yeah!

Hagiwara: In fact, when your dad was beaten up by a guy looking like a yakuza… Hagiwara: I was in that convenience store too! SFX: Thump Thud

Date: Y-You were there!? At that scene!? Hagiwara: You were preoccupied with your bloodstained dad, so you probably didn’t notice, but… Hagiwara: After that, several friends of that guy entered the store…

Yakuza: Oi, what are you doing!? Yakuza: The cops are coming! Yakuza: Run away! SFX: Wee woo wee woo

Page 11

Hagiwara: Your dad had noticed that a lot of that guy’s accomplices were lurking in a car close to there… Hagiwara: That’s why, even if he had restrained that man… Hagiwara: If his accomplices had come in as reinforcements, he’d have had no chance of winning either…

Hagiwara: If a brawl had started inside the shop, and by any chance they would have been barricaded in there... Hagiwara: The other customers who were inside would’ve been in danger…

Hagiwara: Back then, there were a lot of people… Hagiwara: Like me, who was a kid… Hagiwara: As well as pregnant women, some old people and some female students, after all…

Hagiwara: The police arrived pretty soon, so… Hagiwara: Your old man probably contacted them…

Hagiwara: And wanted to stop the man at the front of the store, without him coming further inside, until the reinforcements of the police arrived!

Hagiwara: So kneeling down was... Hagiwara: ...Not a plea for his life, but… Hagiwara: Something from here, leader... SFX: thump

Hagiwara: Something that nobody can hurt by any means… Hagiwara: ...the heart of a police officer...

Hagiwara: ...made him do that, don’t you think?

Page 12

Date: Hello, dad… Are you alright? Date’s dad: Wataru…? Date’s dad: Why are you suddenly calling me…? 

Date’s dad: Eh? There’s a lady you want me to meet? Date’s dad: So you reached that age too…

Date: I’m 22 already… Date: We haven’t seen each other for a while, so I bet you forgot…

Date’s dad: Aside from that, how is it going? Date’s dad: At the police academy… Date’s dad: Do you think that you can become a great policeman? Date: Yeah...

Date: Although I won’t come close to you, Dad... Date’s dad: Hmph… Date’s dad: Stop spouting nonsense...

Side Text: Date got to know about his father’s “strength”. Starting from the next issue… Detective Conan, the original story, resumes!

Left Side box: End of Chapter #6

Bottom box: We will announce the next publication issue in the advance notice of the front page and on WEB Sunday. We are counting on you for “Detective Conan Police Academy Arc ‘Wild Police Story’ ” from now on as well.

mtmte liveblog issues 4&5

its delphi time babey

I'm sorry but drift & co look like such fuckin nerds on their scooter things on the cover lmaooo

oh god. seeing the first page just reminded me of how horribly confused i was for this whole little arc the first time i read it. i was like ok, who are all these new characters, and also why does everyone look so similar

anyways now i now what's going on. i love first aid

love the running continuity of rung being the literal only psychologist on cybertron (except for fr*id but that's later). no wonder everyone's fucked up they all have to share a single therapist 

ok i find it extremely funny that first aid was demoted from doctor to nurse, as if that's a thing that happens EVER - I mean it'd be one thing if first aid was a nurse practitioner (which i doubt is a position that exists here), at least that demotion would make sense, but like...the doctors i work with don't know how to do most nurse stuff (like BP, cathing, vaccinations, hell even using some of the thermometers - that's all stuff nurses/etc do), so demoting one to a nurse would be a disaster (just like promoting a really good nurse to a doctor would be a bad idea). anyways i know I'm being pedantic but it Be like that when you work in the medical field and read something that has medicine-related stuff in it

i love swerve giving ratchet the tiniest free drink ever lmaooo

is that skids being a rowdy drunk in the bg lmaoooo

unironically i love medical statistics. keep it comin

i love magnus’s giant sternal chestpiece thing. its like a bird’s sternum but without the massive pec muscles attached 

i love magnus and rodimus’s dynamic so much

oh pipes....im so sorry but this fun space adventure is going to be not so much fun for you

ratchets ideologies are certainly interesting, and i liked seeing how they changed over the course of the story

drift: why would i be SCARED of the DJD, I've got a SWORD, two swords even,

hvbhajkhfbsdjkf pipes really said ‘oi, you two - what's this, then?’ that's the most british fucking thing, that's literally something i say when I'm doing an overexaggerated british accent, oh my god,

PIPES IS SUCH A TINY DUMBASS. ILY SIR BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING

aaaand now you're covered in dead bodies, pipes. look at your life, look at your choices

drift epic sword moments

drift confirmed for the kinda weird guy who has katanas that he uses to like, cut up fruit and water bottles in his backyard while rodimus films him

‘i thought i heard...bickering’ lmaooooo

ah, so its covid

this arc is how i feel working in healthcare lmaooo especially now that i probably have covid 

so rewind condensed the entire war into an 11 second long cringe compilation. nice

seeing the mechanical stuff past tailgate’s visor is so cool

poor tailgate, this guy is getting slammed with history from multiple sides. and like, bias is inevitable in ANY sort of recounting of events, especially controversial historical events, so poor tg just kinda has to take it all in and decide who to listen to 

that’s...not really how immunity works, guys. also, you shouldn't be exposed to so much disease with proper ppe usage

is there even such thing as ppe in the transformers universe?? there are fluid- and contact-transmitted illnesses, so there SHOULD be

is there even OSHA in this universe??????? unbelievable 

first aid, holding a giant fucking claw clamp: we haven't tried EVERYTHING............

first aid read a human wikihow article on how to jumpstart a car and took notes 

i love tailgate’s ‘mom says its my turn on the xbox’ pose 

tailgate has a point - he’s from pre-war times, where things weren't as grey so of course he would try to divide the two sides into ‘good guys’ and ‘bad guys’

CYCLONUS BE NICE DONT HIT UR FUTURE HUSBAND

go get some character development and then maybe you'll feel better

seeing the word quarantine is making me twitchy w/my possible month-long complete isolation quarantine on the horizon

drift pulling his swords on pipes and ratchet pushing down drift’s arms...lmao

poor pipes...even tho this is completely his fault, its still rough

also jesus, pharma and ratchet look so goddamn similar, reading this was so confusing the first time around 

drifts idea of subduing pipes involves turning into a cool car and also posing with his sword

also. never gonna be over drift’s massive thighs. jesus man

ooof now drift has the rona. ouch 

poor drift, his covid realization is getting overshadowed by pharma being flung around

first aid bustin thru w/the epic medical nipple clamps and some Big Boi Backup

ok that's an epic pre-beatdown speech from fort max right there, daym 

im just gonna continue on w/issue 5 now for continuity’s sake. yay!

the cover of tailgate in magnus’s autobot school is so cute

and we open with an incredible shot of fort max str8 up ripping a guy in half. i mean, to be fair, he DID just give an epic speech about how much he was gonna do that, and he certainly followed thru

yeahhhhh, fort max is not doing so well atm

when he puts that dudes head in his chest vent thing and then snaps it shut....man 

also i fucking LOVE when their faces are shaded all in black w/only the eyes/mouth fully drawn...fantastic stuff

ratchet: phew i am not equipped to deal w/this level of Fucked Up Mental Trauma. u good m8?

ratchet is already writing up a referral to rung for fort max as this is happening

drift is just laying on the ground dying like, oh hey yeahh I'm still here too 

i fucking love when punctuation is drawn in story - like here where first aid has a little ? over his head....fav

ratchet holding drifts hand ;_; 

ok tbh ambulon having switched sides 10 yrs ago is wild bc like, 10 years is barely any time for these guys, especially in a war that lasted 4 million years. that would be like a human switching sides in a war like, 3 months before it ends. probably. i sense some math bs, I'm just extrapolating here

all that mexican standoff shit is going down and first aid is just like But That's None Of My Business

ah so ambulon is an asymptomatic carrier 

and there's first aid with the save! iconic

pharma calling ratchet ‘buddy’ hbvakjdsbfhkasdf

ooooh i love that they figured it out - and i love that twist, that transforming is what triggers the start of symptoms. remember when drift turned into a cool car? yep

s/o to Ambulon Transformers for helping me in my medical terminology courses, bc now ill always remember: Leg(tm)

also this explanation makes a ton more sense (in universe, at least) than the whole ‘i guess we as medical staff have been exposed to enough Germz that we’re more immune to this or something’ theory 

ah, i love the meaningless (to me) alien robot medical jargon 

drift and ratchet hhhhhhhhh

‘I'm too wide’ fort max L O R G E

also once again drift is forgotten in favor of a bunch of other dramatic stuff happening vbhjksdfbjhskdf

godddd i love tailgates little flashbacks where we see how Important and Special he is, complete with his ‘bomb disposal’ arm label...augh its so good! 

and tailgate’s autopedia page even reflects his lies! like, did tailgate go edit that first thing upon waking up??? seriously, I'm fascinated by tailgate’s meticulous dedication to his fake life

also the fact that ultra magnus believes everything he read on autopedia is amazing lmao

ultra magnus: you think somebody would just go on the internet and tell lies? 

fuckgin love magnus’s long ass name/title placard 

tailgate hvbahjkdfbjhaskf i mean, he’s gotten the abridged version of everything else, of course he would assume that’d be the case here too...but not on magnus’s watch

magnus cant even say ‘fun’ hvukdasdbjfkjsadf i love my uptight law dad

love rung implying that upon questioning, he would easily divulge a patient’s name and maybe even information about said patient’s treatment while under him....love the disregard for patient confidentiality and hipaa in general 

not that hipaa seems to exist here, at least not in a fully realized form 

also i mean the above genuinely, i think rung’s tendency towards at least slight malpractice is very interesting 

poor red alert....super bad luck that HE was the guy to get roped up in that overlord business 

I'm glad that, at the very least, red alert was able to prove that he was Actually hearing something to rung, rather than get brushed off completely 

god magnus and tailgate’s interactions are golden 

also tg is much more sarcastic/quippy than anyone gives him credit for tbh

‘thought warfare,’ ultra magnus says with complete seriousness. god i fucking love this comic

now i can tell pharma apart from ratchet bc pharma has let his true Petty Bitch nature emerge and you can see it in his expressions

the whole ‘tarn is addicted to transforming’ thing didn't really go anywhere, right? i feel like i noticed that on my second readthru as well 

also pharma is such an interesting character given the context of him like, trying to strike a bargain w/the djd to keep them from destroying delphi, but that arrangement inevitably kinda making him lose it as the situation escalates. he’s also just really entertaining bc i feel like he kins the joker or st and probably gets into really heated arguments w/people on twitter about just abt anything

‘sound bomb’ i love this comic

another important facet of pharma’s character becomes clear around this time as well - how he’s really into ratchet. i also choose to read them as awful exes tbh, it makes their dynamic even more entertaining

‘killmaster, with the wand’ is one of my favorite running remarks lmao

also, was killmaster even a character before mtmte? or, if he was, was he an important one? it would crack me up the most if he literally didn't exist at all, but any way you spin it is still funny 

ratchet’s tiny humansona facing off against pharma is wild

‘I'm miles from anyone i truly care about’ brutal, ratchet, drift is dying like 2 floors away (im p sure)

SUDDENLY DRIFT IS HERE, ACTUALLY 

oh don't worry first aid, that sure isn't the last we’ll be seeing of pharma 

so like, did first aid save everyone by posting that data log to his wreckers fan blog or something? lmao love it 

i love the pretty fucked up reveal of ratchet having stolen pharma’s hands. like, damn dude. 

and that wraps up the delphi arc! our first true ‘arc’ of mtmte, and a fantastic one at that. short and snappy and fresh, with some very clever writing and cool new characters, and a lot of great plot threads to be picked up later. plus, we got to see the beginnings of drift and ratchet’s whole thing (and ratchet and pharmas whole thing). and the lost light gets some much needed extra medical staff, so everyone wins! 

well, we’ll see how fort max feels about this all pretty soon.....

she's back to her phone game shitposting… yes, it is me… c'est moi

anyway I'm a few chapters into book 3 of choices' "the royal romance" and… it's weird bc I miss hoeing lol like I may end up replaying it at some point to romance hana instead of [liam], but yk. I'm not expecting a sophisticated game engine to like handle the potential for multiple separate romances or jealousy at any given time, but the way the games try to leave room for "baked in" polyamory as the default + the dialogue they use to communicate that to the player is honestly just really sad imo?

like don't get me wrong, it sucks that in a lot of these games the female LIs are paywalled, but then at least you don't have the "oh shit this person is pining for me… awks" dynamic between two or more dudes that you get in frequently those exact same games. and I like that in trr book 3 if you didn't designate drake as your fiancé, he's happy to be friends! like it sucks that it's locked out at this point, but romance should 100% be opt-in, not "fyi: I'm in love with jessie's girl (you)"

but since romancing [liam] IS baked into the whole trr plot premise for the first two books, if you pursue drake, he's really self-deprecating & sad in book 2, and if you kiss him in the beaumont library in book 1, you have an option to say either, "I like [liam]," "I like you," or (the option I chose bc the character has only known everybody a few weeks to months TOPS at this point) "I like both of you/haven't decided yet"— and drake's whole schtick is "[liam]'s a prince & I can't compete & have nothing to offer wehh," which is wild bc the mc's fully a minimum wage waitress in nyc when they meet her like… Who Cares, we're both the designated poors, but if you choose that last option he goes "it's ok, he's a prince, and I'm… not jealous" or sth like that

but like!! not to sound like I'm against poly ships or whatever but what the hell!! I just meant I'm not locked-in to dating anyone exclusively atm holy shit, why are you automatically making yourself the designated side piece?

and THAT only came up bc [liam] imo is pretty bland during the first book, I was keeping my options open; and then in book 2 [liam] enters a political marriage with a diff character to try to keep the mc safe, but basically offers for the mc to essentially be his goomah & lovely love vs the loveless "official" relationship he was in, which tbh pissed me off enough that I kept romancing drake & hana lmao like in book 1 you gonna talk about having a family with me & now those supposed to be outside kids?! I think the fuck NOT!!

and it does work itself out, and [liam] grows some characterization, but it's SUPER weird to lay all that messy "polyamory" stuff out (there is NO indication other charas know about each other in this regard at ALL), in a way where imo its main appeal was that you were feeling other characters out bc they don't get strong writing outside of locked or romance scenes in the first place, and then take it off the table ENTIRELY once the mc's engaged bc the writers never really meant it re: polyamory lmao + ig didn't feel like navigating 1: what does it look like if the mc's also in a semi-political accelerated-track relationship, or like has a side piece in the palace (as many royals do) or 2: what would it look like to break off an engagement for someone else midstream? not that they're obligated to, those last things are just… a very different story than what was being written, yk.

but the gear-shift from "you can fuck four people in one night… the night of your ENGAGEMENT ANNOUNCEMENT, even though the dynamics of these relationships are WAY less than awesome lol" to "you are now monogamous & no one will speak of any of this ever again" is SO FUCKING WEIRD.

listen…as much as i love the third film for what it did, i have many, many qualms about its decisions regarding toothless’ character. now, it’s super late and i am super tired and not well-articulated atm but i gotta talk about these things lest i forget to do so later on so here we go! spoilers under the cut.

( many of the things i have to say in the following paragraphs affect the way i understand and hence write toothless as a character, but if you like this film a lot and don’t wanna hear anything negative about it, maybe just skip over this post because my language gets fairly critical. )

before i get into this shit i just wanna say that i love the light fury. i love how pointedly unacclimatised she is to humans and i love how her actions and behaviour consistently portray that. i love her but i don’t love how she was placed in the film as, in the words of many, “toothless’ girlfriend” rather than an individual character of her own right. dean or whatever can talk all they want about how she’s supposed to represent “a call to the wild” because lmao i don’t really buy it. it was so deeply buried beneath all the romantic and sexual subtexts that i just couldn’t and can’t see it.

ANYHOW i already wasn’t expecting much when they talked about toothless “getting a girlfriend” but goddang heck i was somehow still let down anyway?? the way they handled EVERYTHING — from toothless’ interest in the light fury to his reactions to some of her actions — was just. so out of place and off.

i can get behind a curious interest in the familiar unknown and even a drive to propagate to ensure his species’ survival, but that obsessive fixation on one (1) light fury??/? /? to the point where he doesn’t react negatively AT ALL when she literally throws his soulmate off his back??? ? ? like….dude…..idk about you but if anyone were to endanger the life of my soulmate whom i treasure and love, sexual / romantic partner or not, i’d be pretty fucking pissed.

AND I FEEL LIKE IT’D BE EVEN WORSE WITH DRAGONS?? they’re territorial animals and if you attack a dragon’s other half ( if toothless really does consider hiccup his soulmate as dreamwo.rks canonically states + we have seen him showcase in the first two films, i can’t imagine why soulmates wouldn’t be a thing in dragon culture ) without provocation, you can bet your dumb arse that they have all the hecking rights to attack you back on their soulmate’s behalf.

i’m not saying that toothless should’ve or would’ve attacked the light fury when she threw HALF OF HIM into the sea ( because hiccup probably wouldn’t have wished for that to happen and toothless would’ve respected those wishes ), but like. the moment she does that? he throws a goddamn FIT. just a lot of screeching and snarling and “THAT IS HALF OF ME!! YOU WOULD KILL HALF OF ME???”. any interest in her as a mate or flock-member or friend or whatever is completely diminished. i’m not brave enough to say that he would resent her but yeah, he would resent her. at least up until she apologises + tries to make amends.

he absolutely does NOT continue to earnestly chase after her. maybe he would if hiccup insisted and encouraged him to ( “she’s another fury! like YOU! go after her!!” ), but like…..he wouldn’t do it because he wants to.

i can’t remember if there were any other times where she directly endangered hiccup’s life because i’m tired and also because toothless reacted so mildly throughout most of the film, but like. same sentiment.

but stingray, you cry, wouldn’t the fact that she’s a light fury matter to toothless? yeah, i say: yeah, sure, but only in circumstances where she hasn’t committed a big, grievous no-no in dragon society. and it definitely isn’t her fault for doing what she thought was right and natural — toothless is most likely the only dragon alive with a viking soulmate — but it doesn’t excuse the fact that she did it.

does toothless hate, mourn, or is otherwise dissatisfied with the fact that he’s the only night fury in his nest? probably, yes; i just wish they could’ve explored that concept + the idea of toothless encountering another dragon like him after years of being the Only One in a way that wasn’t so contradictory + insulting to the relationship they carefully established and developed over the course of ten years.

another thing that was very weird for me to see was how quickly toothless seemed to disregard hiccup’s absence??? like somehow toothless wouldn’t be just as affected by the notion of leaving him as hiccup is? the only explanation i can think of to justify that is like. maybe he doesn’t actually ever think of leaving hiccup behind? it’s literally unthinkable — it never crosses his mind as an option or a choice. he’ll go after this dragon who is so much like him but not; this dragon who is more dragon than he can claim to be; this dragon who reminds him of what once was and what will never again be; but he won’t go WITH her. because she isn’t home. she isn’t half of me.

i admit that this hc falls apart pretty quickly in the face of the film’s goodbye scene though. it was absolutely heartwrenching to see but again, toothless was so…..mild and understanding and accepting and while that isn’t necessarily a bad thing ( it’s very mature of him, in fact ), it was odd af because we don’t once get to see him grieve. we see hiccup grieve and come to terms with it but we don’t see toothless going through the same process, and the picture it all paints is, again, so contradictory + insulting to the bond they share.

so like….fuck that lmao toothless would’ve abso-hecking-lutely protested. would’ve played it off as a joke. would’ve gotten angry, would’ve gotten desperate, would’ve denied the necessity of leaving and physically splitting that bond even though he himself at his very core understands it perfectly. he leaves eventually, as do all the other dragons, but it’s not the rushed departure we see in the film. it takes days. maybe weeks. just. a lot of time is spent clinging to and hesitating and stalling under the guise of helping the humans recover from grimmel’s assault + helping the humans build new berk before the jig is up. before berk’s collective heart can’t take it anymore and the dragons are. gently pushed. “it’s time. you know it. we know it. it’s time…and that’s okay.”

in addition to these questionable character decisions, i really do not like how they claimed toothless was the king of dragons and then not show him actually, y’know, being one?? sure, there’s that scene in the hidden world where all the dragons roar and acknowledge toothless as their alpha / king ( which is a super weird concept in itself considering they’re not actually part of his flock? i’m just. gonna say that they were paying obeisance to him because he’s AN alpha, not necessarily THEIR alpha ) but that doesn’t count because it doesn’t show WHY he’s being acknowledged as so. what has he done to continue deserving this title, to continue deserving this respect? there are undoubtedly many duties and responsibilities that come with being an alpha, but we don’t get to see him fulfil any of them outside of “scold misbehaving flock-member for comedic effect”; and that’s a huge shame because there were so many opportunities where we could’ve seen him in action!!

e.g. i’m sure that dragons who’ve suffered trauma / abuse from the hands of humans do not integrate into the dragon-human nest easily. maybe we could’ve been shown toothless calming one such dragon down, or toothless mediating a fight between a human-averse dragon and a human-bonded one, or literally ANYTHING that involves toothless dealing with a reminder that not all dragon-to-human and human-to-dragon interaction is meaningful or wholesome. it would’ve fit in so well with the whole “humans aren’t ready for dragons” theme, too!!

god this post has gotten super long but you’re in for a big surprise if you think i’m done!

ANOTHER thing that didn’t sit well with me at all was that bit when toothless ordered his ENTIRE??? FLOCK???? ?? to desist and surrender to the warlords ( or whatever they’re called ) when grimmel threatened to kill the light fury. like. would’ve been a great power move if he wasn’t the alpha who’s supposed to be protecting them all but he IS!! he IS the alpha who’s supposed to be protecting them all, he IS the dragon whose first and foremost duty is TO HIS FLOCK-MEMBERS.

god drea.mworks really be out here throwing the terms “alpha” and “king” around like toothless didn’t have to fight for them. like he doesn’t have to CONTINUE fighting for them. he doesn’t have the call of a red death, nor the call of a bewilderbeast. i’m pretty sure that after all the shit his flock has gone through with previous Bad leaders, they won’t tolerate another. toothless really has to DESERVE that title for him to continue keeping it. he has to actually be such a good alpha that nobody questions his judgement, which probably-definitely-absolutely means putting his flock-members before anyone else.

so like. grimmel threatening the light fury would NOT have toothless subjecting his flock to captivity. it would have him pretty conflicted, yeah, but like….there’s no contest. she’s not a part of his flock. and even if she was, she’s one dragon out of many. she’s not the last of her kind either, not like toothless is.

but stingray, you cry, didn’t grimmel say that night furies mate for life? wouldn’t that have had any bearing on toothless’ decision? and maybe you’re right, maybe that would have influenced toothless’ decision in the end, but i really, really don’t think it would’ve mattered. first off, we can’t tell if grimmel actually witnessed that interesting tidbit occur in real life or if he forced it to become true when he, y’know, decimated the night fury population. secondly, the movie very likely means ‘love’ when it says ‘mate’ because i imagine that, what with the existence of soulmates + the typical non-human outlook on procreation, mating is actually a very clinical, matter-of-fact process for dragons. so maybe grimmel meant to say that night furies love for life, which is all very good for the light fury if she is toothless’ One And Only but the thing is?? she’s not?? that’s hiccup, babes!! definitely not in the romantic sense, but hiccup is toothless’ One And Only through and through.

SO BASICALLY i don’t think toothless would have prioritised the wellbeing of one potential mate over those of his entire flock’s, just like how he doesn’t prioritise his other half’s or his own happiness over the safety of his entire flock in the ending. for real, if toothless wasn’t the nest’s alpha, he 100% would have stayed back on new berk with hiccup. but he is, so he leaves even though it kills him to do so.

there’s probably a lot of other things i’ve forgotten to address, but this post is long enough and i am super duper tired so…tl;dr:

the light fury’s great i love her

toothless doesn’t really

he honestly doesn’t want anything to do with her after her punting stunt with hiccup

would only chase after her if hiccup ( and others, but mostly hiccup ) told him to

toothless never actually has any intention of leaving hiccup

until the whole grimmel incident passes and even then, he really super does not want to

toothless is an alpha and he hecking acts like it which means no light fury > his entire flock

that one’s gonna be a bit hard to work around plot-wise but we’ll figure it out somehow

my portrayal of toothless is canon-divergent as heck yeehaw

Do you have a thintg (eg an AU) that you think about (A lot) but probably wouldn't write because it feels too self indulgent? If so, what is it? :3

Lol, is this because I said this recent fic was really self-indulgent in the notes? I appreciate you asking, anon ;D

At first I misread the question and thought you meant just a trope that was indulgent that I hadn’t written because it felt self-indulgent, which was difficult because there are a lot. But then I realized you said an AU specifically and that narrows it down a lot, actually! And the answer is still yes!

Do you remember this post about the Trio not having friends or even being friends with each other in a modern world? I was directly thinking of this AU when writing it. Keep in mind this is self-indulgent and corny as hell, and I’m very aware of that.

This fic opens up in a modern au where the the Trio are still teenagers (which is already a strange start for me because usually I write them as full adults). As mentioned in the above post, they’re not friends. And they don’t have a lot (or any?) close friends, actually. But mainly the focus here is on Owain because he’s my default protag and just who I happened to choose for this.

So he’s like… 16? About that age? And doesn’t really have any close friends. Which feels like canon, tbh. The war isn’t dragging anyone together. He gets on well enough with Lucina and Brady and Noire, but they have their own lives too. He and Cynthia used to be childhood friends but not anymore. He and Inigo actively fight each other and don’t get along. (Maybe their parents are aware of this, maybe not.) He and Severa are kind of okay? But she’s prickly and he’s weird and it’s not like they’re hanging out anytime soon. So Owain is 16, going to high school, doing his thing, maybe being teased on the side for being as lame as he is, and probably a little lonely. Maybe a lot lonely, sometimes. His family supports him pretty well, so there’s at least that, but, you know. He could be doing better. That’s just kind of how it is being 16.

Owain craves adventure and maybe some closer friends. So… For some reason in this AU I keep imagining the city they all live in being on the edge of some kind of shrubland or even desert type area? When thinking of the type of area this would be, I just kept thinking of Laurent getting lost in the desert for 4 years. Maybe it’s like that. Maybe not. Either way, outside of town is probably hilly and has a lot of craggy places and ditches and whatnot too. It’s not really a place people hang out unless you’re trying to have a party in the middle of nowhere so no cops show up or are trying to study what lizards live out there. Pretty barren and not very great.

But Owain likes exploring and getting lost in his imagination, and after one bad day, despite hearing cautionary tales from Laurent and his mother and whoever else previously, he goes to hang out there. He’s done it before.

Except this time he falls into a ditch or makes a wrong move or does something wrong, and this time Owain really hurts himself. Like, sprains an ankle and maybe knocks himself out type bad. Nothing broken but ow, does it sure feel like it. Maybe he even lays there deliriously for a moment staring up at the sun before closing his eyes because he can’t keep them open any longer.

When he wakes up again it’s been a few hours and he’s been moved somewhere else. Somewhere out of the sun. He feels dusty and still kind of hurts, but his biggest concern comes when he sits up and looks around and see’s there’s a fucking wolf sitting there. Which is already crazy enough because there aren’t supposed to be any wolves where they live. And also Owain is definitely going to be eaten.

But the wolf doesn’t move and Owain eventually realizes the wolf is actually a just a big dog, and that helps his fear a bit. Big dogs aren’t wolves. Though it is kind of strange that its all the way out here in the middle of nowhere, but so is Owain.

So after establishing the dog isn’t going to eat him, he tries to stand up and it hurts but he can kind of manage. The dog sees him struggling and gets up in Owain’s space. This freaks Owain out for a minute again until it becomes apparent the dog just wants Owain to kind of lean on him and not fall over. It’s big enough for it anyway.

So Owain is figuring out this dog is smart and probably likes people if it knew to drag him out of the sun, and he likes animals too. It’s still a little surprising when he pets the dog and asks “What’s your name?” while already planning to come up with one of his own and the dog leads him deeper into the outcropping of rocks instead of out and Owain sees the name “Anankos” scratched into the rock via… clawmarks? No way, Owain thinks, it must have been a stone. He’s kind of disappointed he doesn’t get to name the dog himself, but “Anankos” sounds like a pretty good name anyway. And if someone else helped raise a dog smart enough to help Owain out when he really needed it, he’s grateful, even if that means someone else did find the dog first.

He makes it home with the help of Anankos the big dog. The sun is setting, and Anankos takes him as far as the edge of the town. He doesn’t go any farther, which is fine because Owain can make it home from here, even though he is sad they have to part ways. He limps home and Lissa fusses over him being late and being bruised, and Owain plays down what happened and doesn’t mention Anankos at all because then his mother would never let him go back ever. But he’s fine, everything’s fine, and the evening passes without much issue.

It’s probably a weekend so Owain either goes back that Sunday or the next week and looks for Anankos the dog. He’s hopeful. And either he’s lucky or Anankos must be aware of him too, because out in the outskirts of town, they do find each other again. Owain brought dog-appropriate snacks and some meat. Anankos is appreciative. Owain is happy they’ve run into each other again, but he is curious why Anankos’s owner isn’t keeping better track of him. Unless Anankos goes home at night? Or doesn’t have an owner anymore? He doesn’t know what to make of it. But he’s happy.

So Owain’s closest friend becomes a possibly wild dog named Anankos that found him out in the dry outskirts of his city. Anankos isn’t a person, but he’s smart as hell. Like, really smart. Sometimes Owain wonders if Anankos really understands him sometimes. 

Sometimes Anankos goes off on his own for a while and he won’t go into town with Owain (so much for taking him home, even if Lissa would allow it, which. Probably not), but Owain makes the most of it anyway. He has a friend now. There’s a Owain when he’s at school and there’s Owain when he gets to run out into the wild and make up stories and do teenage boy stuff with a dog so big it seems like a wolf.

And from here on the details get fuzzier because, again, this is so self-indulgent I’ve never planned on explaining this to anyone and thus only have shattered shards of scenes that I kind of want to see rather than a real plot. But I imagine there’s an actual villain in this story too. Like, between Owain and Inigo fighting, between regular teenage drama and whatnot, Anankos really is the reincarnated version of our Anankos from fe14 looking for Corrin again. Not because there’s any great evil on the rise but just because he wants to see them the way he never got to before, even if he is a dog and isn’t really their father this time. (Or is he? But also he’s a fucking wolf dog. That can be figured out later.) But he remembers the Trio too, though they don’t remember him, and he likes Owain enough that Anankos wants to make sure he’s okay too. He’d probably be fine with Inigo and Severa too (debatable if they’d be fine with him, lol) but they don’t hang out in the middle of nowhere like Owain, so they don’t run into each other.

So anyway, Anankos the dragon/wolf is looking for Corrin. I think the Nohr sibs and Garon and maybe even Iago? Are here too, but I haven’t decided how yet. I think at least Iago is evil. Maybe Garon too. I imagined Owain getting into trouble with somebody evil like that cornering him and Anankos, in the city for the first time ever, fucking kills Iago to protect him. Which leaves Owain shaken as hell and also some people are probably freaking the fuck out that a wolf came out of nowhere and just killed a guy??? But Owain defends Anankos by saying Owain has been taking care of him, he did it to protect Owain, that guy was trying to kidnap him, etc. And Lissa is thrown for a loop because apparently her son has been hanging out with a fucking wolf this whole time but it??? Protected him?? But also that’s a WOLF? (”Mom, that’s not a wolf. I mean, I wish he was because that would be super cool, but…” “Owain, I Know What A Wolf Looks Like.”) (Suffice to say he’s at least in a little trouble.) It’s a whole Thing.

And also maybe Inigo and Owain’s tension keeps building up between their fights and teasing, and one time Inigo tries to be actually genuine when he sees Owain has been having a bad day and asks what’s wrong and Owain snaps at him, “What do you even care? You don’t even like me.” And Inigo feels kind of bad and Owain is just upset and they Don’t Talk for a bit after that. 

But also!! When Inigo gets in trouble because of Evil Plotline Thing Here, Owain is alerted either via magic?? Anankos’s magic?? Instinct? Anankos? Coincidence? And comes through to save him. And probably Severa gets involved at some point too because she’s the third of the Awakening Trio, obviously.

I feel like Nohr sibs (though maybe Corrin comes in earlier) are late game stuff but I can’t quite decide how yet.

That’s all I basically have for the moment, but this AU kind of blurs in with one or two other modern AUs I have going on in my head atm so it’s hard to separate the details entirely. I know Anankos being a human-intelligence level wolf (bc he is/was a dragon in his past life) that Owain (who remembers nothing of FE14) makes friends with in the desert is kind of cheesy and dumb, but I like it anyway. I can’t imagine ever writing this unless the details for this AU get filled in significantly but still. I like thinking about it from time to time. 

Thanks for asking! Sorry this went on so long, lol. I appreciate the question though, anon! :D 

The odds!

Thats a lot but here we go

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

  If i say yes, im vain. If i say no, im lying. But to be truthful, yeah a bit

3. Are you a virgin?

  Lol nope

5. Are you in love?

  Probably. If it feels like this then most likely but who knows

7. Can you commit to one person?

  I would have said no a year ago but now that all im lookin for

9. Describe your perfect mate.

  Mate is a weird word and i hate using it to refer to my partners. BUT my perfect person would have to be kind and understanding of everything about me. I know Im not the easiest person to be with but I do try really hard. Someone who can make me laugh and let me just ramble. Someone who gets that my family has always and will always come first. Someone gentle and soft to balance out my roughness and wildness.

11. Do you ever want to get married?

  I do but if I never have the whole wedding thing, ill be fine. I just want to have my person by my side for the rest of time.

13. Do you get jealous easily?

  Oh hell yeah. Its a talent of mine

15. Do you have any pircings?

  Ive had a few over the years but the only ones if really kept are my industrial bar and my lobes.

17. Do you like kissing in public?

  Does a duck with a boner drag weeds?

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

  Id like to think so

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

  If im going to cheat, then i dont need to be in that relationship

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

  I would really really like to be

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem about you?

  Yes

29. Have you ever cheated on someone? 

  Yeah. Im not a good person by any means

31. Have you ever cried over a boy/girl?

  Is the sky blue?

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

  why yes i have thank you for asking

35. Have you ever kissed soeone older than you?

  Unfortunatly

37. Have you ever liked someone your friends hated?

  I dont actually know atm but just to stay safe ill just say probs

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldnt have?

 Been there, dont that, currently doing that.

41. Have you has sex so far this year?

  Id be very impressed with myself if i managed to convince someone to have sex with me in the first 5 hours of the new year.

43. How long was your longest relationship?

  2.5-3 years. It was a nice time for the most part

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?

  6? 

47. How old are you?

  Im 24 and thank you for reminding me to update my bio

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, whats your favorite thing about them?

  This is going to sound dumb but, their presence. Like specifically when i can have some form of small physical contact. I like knowing that they enojoy my company.

51. Is there a boy/girl youd do absolutly everything for?

  Yes! Its a fault of mine

53. Is there someone mad because youre dating/talking to the person you are?

 I dont think so. Some might not approve after recent event but no one is mad

55. Share a relationship story

 Ask for a specific one and I will

57. Biggest thing you want to say to an ex

  Uh lets go with Devin. Im so sorry I made our breakup nasty. I should have just sucked it up and never let you come back but Im so incredibly amazed and proud of the husband and father youve become. Keep it up, Piggy

59. What do you look like? 

Now you can use my image to catfish people on the internet

61. Whats the first thing you notice in someone?

 Thier nose. I like noses. Then its eyes and smile

63. Whats your definition of “having sex”?

 Nude and touching eachothers genitals/oral/penitration of some kind. If im really liking the person, then some kissing. Mainly just enjoying each others naked bodies i guess

65. Whats your favorite foreplay routine?

 I really like giving oral so i always start with that. Its nice to give my undivided attention to my partner 

67. Whats your idea of the perfect date?

 Doing to an aquarium to see sharks OR going to an art museum. If both are done in the say day, ill probably get on one knee....or both

69. What turns you off?

  heh. thats the sex number. Probably being a huge asshole. Just dont be a prick to me or anyone else and we will be fine

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

 Easy. I was tied up and in a gangbang. Ill spare you the details

73. Whats something sweet youd like somene to do for you?

  Sing and enjoy Brand New songs with me

75. Whats the sweetest thing anyones done for you?

  To name a few:

Learned a Br&New song on the guitar

Given me a huge bag of gummies for my birthday when i expected nothing

Writen poems for me

Let me sob in thier chest and not say anything

77. Whats your opinion about age differences in relationsips?

 The make everything more complicated when the gap is bigger

79. WHen was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

The person I like rn talked about going on a date with someone

81 Who are five people you find attractive?

 I guess they have to be people you can lok up so ill have to say

Tilda Swinton

Ewan McGregor

TheRussianBadger

Natalie Portman

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand IQ from R6 Siege

83. Who was our first kiss?

Erin Hale in middle school. She was a legit crazy

85. Would you ever date someone off of the internet?

I have nd its awful   

Thank you for the ask!

Break The Ice

Characters: AJ Styles x Kenny Omega

Summary: After being single for a long period of time, AJ finally decides to listen to his friend’s advice and gives the dating scene a try. He just wasn’t expecting the first time to be in a place like this. Or with the same sex, for that matter.

Warnings: m/m sex, and um.. not really anything to be warned about. Maybe just a whole lotta smut, language, and bad writing. This is also kind of an A/U fic, meaning no wrestling related stuff will be involved. Also stating the obvious that if you don’t like slash pairings.. look away!!

•••

The bright city lights were certainly a sight to behold, and it’s something he would never get sick of. He loved this city, and he’s only been here for a couple of weeks. The food, the culture, and especially the gaming shops and arcades– are what he found most enjoyable during his stay. He relaxed himself onto the bed shortly after returning from having dinner with his friends, gazing out the large hotel window that overlooked the beautiful Tokyo, Japan. It was truly mesmerizing, and yet…

AJ Styles was already bored.

For the first time since his arrival he’d already got sick of the usual routine. He was usually a homebody, more of a private person if you will, and yet for some reason he wanted to get out and do some more exploring. A lot of ideas popped into his head but he didn’t feel like doing any of it alone. He sent Karl a text and asked if he was up for a few rounds.

AJ: Lets go find a pub or somewhere to hang out and talk. I’m bored.

Karl: Sorry, Hoot. I’m hanging with the wife atm. Did you ask Luke?

AJ: No reply from him. You guys suck.

Karl: What did I tell you before? Make a damn Tinder and find someone. It’s about time your grumpy ass did.

AJ rolled his eyes and sighed. He’d only heard of Tinder because of his dumb friend and he thought the idea of it was stupid. To him the site seemed like it was made for desperate people with no self esteem. But Karl might be right. Maybe he needed to hit up the dating scene even if it wasn’t anything serious (which was the last thing he wanted as he was married for almost 20 years prior). It’s not that he was afraid of it because he was always a confident type of man, it just that he’s never had the time for it. So now that he’s utterly bored and all of his work was finished he kind of had no idea how to go about it at this day and age. And after sitting around and giving it some thought after a few minutes, he decided what the hell. Why not? He was STILL bored as shit and wanted some form of entertainment even nothing came of it in the end.

He installed the app and in under a minute it was ready to go. He didn’t have many recent photos of himself from his Facebook (he never logged on much) so he decided to take a quick ‘selfie’ of himself. At first he snapped the usual and decided that one was dull. Next he snapped a photo of himself standing in the mirror, but then deleted it as he wasn’t happy with that one either and thought it looked too weird. He repeated this about ten times before he was finally satisfied with the picture he took, then wanted to laugh at himself after as he probably looked ridiculous doing it.

“I can’t believe I’m actually doing this,” AJ mused at himself, and continued to fill out the rest of his profile. There were only a few options, such as which photo you’d like use as your main feature, adding your personal interests, a “pick-up line” to which he added, “Just seeing where this takes me”.. pretty straight forward and easy stuff. And last but most important.. what sex he was interested in.

Now this is something he really had to think about for a minute. He was always into both genders, and before he got married to a woman he had his fair share of “experimenting” in high school but never really went all the way– and he sure as hell wouldn’t let it be known back then either (given as it wasn’t accepted as easily, and him playing on the football team being a contributing factor). But as he thought about it a little more, he was definitely willing to be open to it again. Because really, there was no big deal to it. So with one final tap to his profile, he set his preferences to Female and Male. Maybe he will find more friends this way if dating doesn’t go the way he wanted it to. And getting to know more people was something AJ wouldn’t actually mind either since Karl and Luke were being asses right now.

Thirty minutes rolled by and so far there wasn’t any success. He had about eighteen potential matches and none of them spoke English. And when he did come across someone who was Caucasian, she was from France and couldn’t speak it very well either. AJ was about to give up until someone else caught his eye.

Kenny. 31 years old. Canada, is what was in the description. They also had some matching interests, and many of them at that. Although much younger he wasn’t bad looking either. Curly blonde hair, blue eyes, cute smile– hell, he was even wearing a lime green shirt with the Legend Of Zelda written across it. A little geeky looking but that didn’t matter. AJ didn’t hesitate to swipe right on the profile and soon after was done with it as he wasn’t gonna attempt to find anyone else again. He tossed his phone onto the bed beside as he opened up a bottle of water and took a quick swig from it. And only seconds after his phone dinged and he opened up his notifications to see who it was.

Its a Match!

AJ’s interest in this was now more at peak. He wasn’t expecting a match so quickly but then again he wasn’t complaining either. Soon after messages were being exchanged and AJ’s night was about to get more interesting.

AJ: How it’s going tonight?

K: Hey! Not too bad. Just getting ready actually. How are you?

AJ: Bored as hell! And getting ready huh? Big plans tonight?

K: Nothing too special. I’m going to a little bar I like to frequent on the weekends. It’s not everyday I come across a cute guy from America on here!

AJ couldn’t help but chuckle at that. It certainly was different to get a compliment like that from another man, but nonetheless he still really appreciated it. That made him feel good.

AJ: I could say the same. So far tonight I’ve had no luck on this thing lol! I’ll let you finish what you’re doing.

K: If you’re still bored within the hour, why don’t you come join me? I’ll be at The 505 and it’s only a few blocks down from where I stay so it won’t be hard to find.

He stared at Kenny’s reply for a minute before coming to a final decision. He’s never done this before in his life. And he was now contemplating on whether he should meet a complete stranger or not. But it was in a public setting and the night wasn’t growing any younger. He thought to himself to hell with it and decided why not. According to the app Kenny was less than 2 miles away from him so it’s not like he was about to get lost or kidnapped for that matter.

AJ: I’ll be there.

And with that the date was on. He received a response only seconds after, a single smiley emoticon and AJ was starting to get excited for this. He wondered what he should wear and suddenly felt like he was 17 again. Trying on different outfits and he wasn’t sure what would be appropriate for a bar. He was very limited on clothing and dressed mostly for comfort or working out, but he finally did decide on a blue mid-sleeved plaided shirt, a pair of jeans, and as usual included the sterling silver necklace he always loved to wear. Before taking one last glance in the mirror as he was happy with the way he looked, so he undressed again and headed for the shower.

•••

11:00pm rolled around as AJ arrived to his destination. He took in his surroundings and noticed that where he was wasn’t just “some little bar” but it almost seemed like a nightclub. The lineup to get in wasn’t too bad, so it wasn’t a very long wait before he got inside the building. It was dark and the only source of lighting came from the stairway that headed into the basement. There was a man at the bottom who scanned his I.D. and he didn’t complain one bit at that, paid for the small cover charge, and he was allowed through the doorway.

Yeah, this was definitely NOT just a bar. It was a nightclub. And a gay one at that. The place was also pretty huge and wondered how he would find anybody here. AJ pulled out his phone and saw that he had a message waiting from Kenny, and said that if he was there he would have table 14 reserved for them. “Where the hell would that be?” He muttered to himself as he began to take in his surroundings. This place was pretty wild. Pink florescent lights filled the entire dance floor, the music was sort of a mix between J-pop and House, and both the waitresses and waiters all wore the same white lingerie with bunny ears on top of their heads. Luckily one of them who spoke English came along to assist AJ in finding his table, which was empty when he got there so he ordered a drink and waited for his date to arrive. The club slowly began to fill up with more patrons as he tapped along the glittery tabletop nervously. He really hasn’t done this in years. And he also felt ridiculous being there as he was very underdressed compared to most of the people here.

He messaged Kenny one more time to let him know that he just got to his table. As soon as he sent the text he looked up and noticed that a younger man was watching him from the bar. Smiling at AJ, he began to strut toward him with a drink in his hand. The man was wearing dark sunglasses, a black pair of leather pants, a long leather coat, a pair of matching gloves, and no shirt underneath. This dude was certainly a show-off, but he was also great looking. So AJ wasn’t complaining. He really was a sight to behold.

“Good evening,” he greeted AJ as he took his sunglasses off he instantly recognized who he was and realized this man who had been checking him out was Kenny from Tinder. He did not look anything like his pictures. In fact, his hair was much longer, and different colours of black and silver apposed to the short, curly blonde hair he tried to keep a look out for. He was also very tanned in person. And also quite fit, at that. “You like what you see, big guy?” Kenny teased as he took a slow sip of his drink. AJ smiled and leaned back into the soft cushions of the private booth, not knowing that he was staring at his date. “You look very different from your photos. I almost didn’t know who you were at first,” he replied. Kenny chuckled as he placed his drink in front of him. “I’m never on much and I forgot to update my pics. So I guess tonight is your lucky night.” This cocky bastard. AJ smiled back and leaned forward as the same waitress who helped him earlier placed shots of two Lemon Drops, two Sour Jacks, and two bottles of Sapporo in front of them. AJ quirked a brow at this. That was a lot to start off with for a first date. “What? I can’t do these shots all by myself,” Kenny winked, sliding one of the yellow-tinted shots towards AJ when the another waitress came back to take Kenny’s empty cup. He clinked the glasses together. “To a fun night, with a fun guy.” Kenny took his shot like a pro and licked his lips. AJ took his shot, enjoying the lemonade, sour flavour.

Kenny thanked her in Japanese and AJ continued on with the conversation, he had a feeling that this night was about to get interesting. “Actually, you look better than the pictures. I was pretty certain I was gonna ditch the other guy and go for you instead,” he mused. Kenny bit his lip in response and held his right hand out toward AJ. “I’ll be sure to let him know. I’m Kenny. And I must say that you’re also quite the looker in person,” he winked as he introduced himself again, biting his straw in the process. What a little fucking tease. They both took their second shots and soon after noticed Kenny might have been checking him out again. AJ’s heart began to race. It felt like it was his very first date all over again, and despite his nerves this little get together so far was very enjoyable.

The night went on and Kenny was everything AJ had hoped for him to be. The conversations started out as small talk, and as the drinks began to kick in the outright flirting returned as the main interest again. “So please, please explain to me as to why you’re single again?” Kenny asked, taking a sip of his Long Island. “I don’t get it. You’re sexy, you love video games, I mean you know more about them than most guys I’ve known my whole life. I can’t even count how many nergasms you’ve already given me tonight.” AJ smirked at the statement and laughed. It’s been a good while since someone has told him he was sexy. “Just a loner type of guy, I guess,” he shrugged.

Kenny smirked back. “So you got the whole intimidating, mysterious look going on for you. It must scare off people off.”

The waitress was back with two more shots and seemed to have been apologizing for interrupting the two men. Kenny spoke in Japanese once more and gave her a friendly wave-off. Something about him speaking another language was a huge turn-on. And AJ wondered if he was a long-term resident. “Am I intimidating?” he asked Kenny as he smiled dangerously.

“Nope,” Kenny replied, chewing on the end of his straw again. God damn it, AJ’s mind was going places that he hadn’t intended to when they only met a couple of hours ago. Especially if Kenny was acting innocent about having a supposed unconscious oral fixation.

“You hear me, AJ?”

“Huh?” AJ replied snapping out of his daze.

Kenny slid the shot glass over to AJ as they clinked them together. “To a fun morning, with a fun guy.” AJ took the shot with Kenny as he listened to him giggle, his body growing hot at the implications of his statement. He was definitely getting laid tonight and AJ didn’t mind at all.

AJ couldn’t help but stare at his date’s abs (again) at this point when he wasn��t looking, and every so often would find himself trailing down to Kenny’s groin. He really wasn’t looking for sex on the first date at first but the temptations grew stronger as the alcohol was starting to kick in– and at a faster pace. His eyes slowly trailed back up to his face as Kenny leaned in closer. “Don’t worry, I’ve been looking too,” Kenny whispered as he tucked a few strands of AJ’s hair behind his ear, the warmth of his breath against his lobe instantly sending shivers down his spine. AJ swallowed nervously and tipped his head back, exposing more of his neck allowing Kenny more access if he wanted to. “Yeah?” He replied.

“Mm-hmm..” Kenny answered, using one of his gloved hands to rub AJ’s inner thigh as he used his teeth to lightly graze across the sensitive flesh behind the earlobe. He gave AJ a few light kisses there as well just to tease him even further. His hardening member was now starting to strain against the tightness of his jeans as he slowly thrust hips up to feel more Kenny’s hand. “Let’s say we get out of here and continue this at my place?” There wasn’t even any questioning of Kenny’s suggestion. They left their money for the drinks on the table and were both soon leaving to his flat in a cab.

Leas than 10 minutes later Kenny was shoving AJ into the corner in the backseat of the cab, his tongue down his throat as he climbed up and settled himself on top of AJ’s lap. He was now grinding into him as if tonight was the last time he would ever fuck.

To be fair, AJ was feeling the same way.

AJ gripped at Kenny’s hips, his fingers running back to his ass and squeezing hard. Kenny whined and AJ made a mental note to be sure he would make his date make that noise at least a thousand times tonight.

Not too long after the cab stopped and they were now at their destination. They quickly fixed themselves up and Kenny paid the driver, both not caring about the odd looks they were receiving from the old man all the way there. “Come on,” Kenny grabbed AJ’s hand as they helped each other out of the vehicle. They continued their heavy make-out session in the elevator. Tongues where fighting for dominance and hands were grabbing everywhere. And before they both knew it Kenny had the unlocked the door to his flat, slamming the it open and tugging AJ in, pushing him towards the bedroom. He held in a yell of surprise when he felt his back falling into the bedsheets, and an impatient Kenny already halfway up his hips, grinding into him, his soft mouth giving AJ’s neck kisses and nipping at it with his teeth.

“F-Fuck, Kenny..”

“Mm, yeah.. there’s gonna be a lot of that I’m afraid,” he replied as he ground into AJ, his eyes looking playful and eager.

AJ watched as Kenny sat up and slowly peeled off the shiny jacket and gloves, revealing more of his well-toned body. He reached up and ran his finger tips down from Kenny’s chest before trailing down and teasing his abs, then settled at resting his hands on his hips as he dug his fingernails deep into them– making Kenny breathe inward sharply as AJ thrust back up into him much harder than they were doing. “Two can play that game, and just warning you right now that you ain’t winning it.” Kenny moaned again as he rocked his hips down again in response. “Top or bottom?” AJ asked.

“Both,” Kenny replied.

AJ grinned, working at Kenny’s pants buttons but not getting very far. They were tight, black leather pants which screamed all sorts of sexiness. But of course a damn tease like him would wear them. “Take them off,” he practically snarled. Kenny chuckled and hopped off of AJ, slowly peeling his legs out as if this were his own personal striptease.

And that was it. No underwear. Nothing was worn underneath.

“You have to go commando in these pants, obviously,” Kenny winked. AJ was now painfully hard.

“Yes, I worked hard for my god-like body… But let’s not stare all day, what are you waiting for?” Kenny asked, his hands on his hips as he nodded his head at AJ’s clothed crotch.

“You’re such a dork,” AJ replied as he sat up, he unbuttoned his flannel shirt as he tossed it aside. It landed on the lampshade. “I always wanted to do that.” He continued stripping out of his jeans easily as he pulled his boxers down at the same time.

“And you’re such a nerd,” Kenny responded. “A fucking gorgeous one, might I add.”

There was a moment where it was now Kenny who couldn’t help but stare. His eyes taking over AJ’s body and AJ almost had a moment of self-consciousness, his brain hurdling him back to high school when the guys in the locker room would check him out after football practice.

He wasn’t ever a slut, but he had his fair share with women before he got married. As for men, the furthest he’s ever went with that was kissing and a lot of touching, but never all the way. But either way. He never wanted to fool around with someone on the first date. This time it was different, and he’s not afraid to let it happen. His clouded judgement had thrown all of his pride he had carried before out the window.

“One last thing,” Kenny suggested. He leaned over toward the dresser and a light glowed on his face. He wondered what the heck he was doing wasting time with when AJ realized that it was an iPod. He set it up on the dock, the speakers picking up on the music. Change by The Deftones began to fill out the room. “I love this song,” Kenny grinned, crawling over AJ and attacking his mouth for the 10th time that night.

AJ didn’t think he’d ever get used to how voracious Kenny was, how aggressive. It was intriguing and amazing and absolutely sexy to have someone all over him for once. And AJ couldn’t help it. He started grinding up into the sexual heat, Kenny’s mouth falling open as their naked erections rubbed hard against each other. He grabbed a handful of Kenny’s hair and bit the side of his neck, the nip of affection that had Kenny gasping and grabbing at AJ’s shoulder blades.

“Umf– AJ– FUCK ME,” Kenny demanded, he legs wrapping around AJ’s waist and pulling him in tight, causing a friction so sweet that AJ was afraid he was gonna cream before even going inside.

“Fuck Kenny.”

“Mmhm,” he pursed. Thrusting his hips and rocking in all the right ways to drive AJ absolutely out of his mind.

“Turn around,” Kenny demanded.

“What?”

“Turn around, AJ, I feel like I’m gonna explode if I don’t get this part out of the way first. So turn the fuck around.” He wasn’t sure what Kenny meant by telling him to turn around, unless he meant…?

Before AJ could say anything, Kenny jumped off of him and pulled both of his arms forward. Forcing AJ to land on his hands and knees and this began to frighten him. Hadn’t they already made it clear that he was NOT going to bottom tonight? “Wait a minute, Ken- I don’t do this.”

“Shut up,” Kenny barked. Before AJ could protest any further Kenny crawled underneath AJ’s legs and laid down on his back, taking him by surprise by shoving his cock deep into Kenny’s mouth. “O-Ooh, god damn it,” AJ moaned as Kenny hummed in approval, making him jerk down into the hot, wet heat as he almost struggled to balance himself up. At the angle they were in Kenny was allowing AJ to fuck his throat at full force. The gagging noises that were coming out from the man below him was like music to his ears, and after a few minutes of this AJ was almost real close to cumming.

Kenny seemed to sense this as he popped AJ’s dick out of his mouth. “Lay down,” he commanded. AJ managed to breathe out a chuckle as he did what he was told. “You sure are a bossy one. I’m gonna have to teach you some manners one day.”

“Its gonna take a lot of that to try and tame me, babe,” Kenny groaned as he pushed AJ down onto his back, straddling him as he reached over to the dresser again to grab a small bottle of lube. AJ watched in awe as Kenny poured some over his fingertips and began fingering himself, then applying a generous amount onto AJ’s length soon after. God, he was so perfect right now.

“Wait, Kenny, I gotta let you know.. I ain’t never done this–”

AJ’s mouth fell open into an O before he could continue. Kenny was already sitting down onto AJ’s length, slowly but soon after it finally gave way when he moved his hips at a slighter angle. They were both breathing hard, and AJ tried not to give into temptation to pound his tight ass right then and there as he didn’t want to hurt him. Kenny began to rock his hips the rest of the way down, letting out a whimper as he tried to adjust to AJ’s size.

“Fuuuuuuck,” AJ moaned, his fingers were now digging into Kenny’s hip bones. The euphoric feeling of him around his cock was SO much different than sex with a woman. And daresay he may even enjoy it better this way. Kenny was so fucking tight. And at this point he was almost wishing that he didn’t receive the amazing blowjob prior to this. He didn’t wanna cum just yet. He had to stay still, he had to stay still, he had to stay still…

“Okay, okay, go ahead,” Kenny urged, and so AJ did. He gently thrust his hips upwards, testing the waters. Kenny grunted, was that negative or positive?

“Oh my god, AJ. Just fuck me already,” Kenny ordered, kissing AJ again as they began to move their hips together.

“Shit,” AJ growled as he finally found a rhythm. He pushed himself up, chest to chest with Kenny as they thrust against each other, his hands digging into AJ’s hair and tugging and damn did it ever feel good. “Look at you, acting like a little whore all night and now that you finally took me home.. I’ll be damned if you try tell me what to do.”

Kenny was practically chanting as AJ was now repeatedly stabbing up at his prostate. He could also tell that Kenny enjoyed the dirty talk just as much as he did with the way his body responded. He was definitely the most vocal lover AJ has ever encountered, and he took it with pride that he had him under control with just the use of his cock. He absolutely loved it.

“Are you ready for your first lesson, slut?” AJ darkly whispered into Kenny’s ear.

He wasted no time in connecting his hand hard onto Kenny’s ass, causing a whimper to escape from his lips. It wasn’t good enough. A second swat came in and this time it was much harder. Then AJ did it again, and again, and again… each time more harder then before until he had Kenny crying out more for him. All the while still pounding away at his ass and leaving love bites all across his chest.

Kenny was a complete fucking mess and AJ loved every second of it.

He tried to pull Kenny closer, but it was impossible as they were already as close as two people could be without becoming one. He growled low in his chest as Kenny announced he was about to come, and just in time too as AJ was teetering on the edge as well.

“Fucking hell!” Kenny screamed. His whole body was jerking as he came between them, no contact to his cock whatsoever. He never thought of it before but to AJ it was now one of the hottest things he’s ever witnessed. He hissed at the contracting muscles milking him and he couldn’t hold it anymore. Not with Kenny looking and sounding like this. AJ groaned, cupping Kenny’s ass as he thrust hard as he could just a couple more times before exploding up into Kenny’s body.

They groaned in relief as if they had been dying of thirst as they both just sat there. Holding each other and not moving, their heads resting on one another’s shoulder. They were both sticky and a mess but neither of them cared. “Nnnn,” Kenny hummed. “You came inside of me.”

“Jesus Christ,” AJ murmured, kissing the other man along his neck and along the jawline. “We just met, I punished the shit outta you, and that’s all you gotta say?”

“Does this mean we gotta use handcuffs next time?” Kenny purred, his arms still wrapped around AJ’s neck as he nuzzled their noses together. “Don’t tempt me,” AJ replied. “I just might make your future lessons more harsh than tonight.”

Oh shit, this kid was gonna be the death of him.

Kenny started to shift, ready to detangle himself, but AJ just kept him in his place. God damn, he was strong.

“No! Just a while longer. I kinda like this feeling,” AJ said sleepily, seeming unbothered by the sticky cum on their abdomens that was now feeling gross and cold to Kenny. And there’s also the fact that the soreness was starting to kick in. “I feel like a fucking cum rag. Let me go,” Kenny laughed as he was finally released out of AJ’s grip. He slowly rolled off of him so they can lay next to each other. Maybe in a bit they can finally muster enough strength get themselves up and help clean each other off.

He most definitely would have to thank Karl for this one. Finally an idea of his that actually wasn’t stupid.

If you made it this far, congrats! It’s the end!! *throws rainbow streamers in your face* Okay, I only proofread this one time so there might be some mistakes. And I know this took forever to post but there it is. Sorry if it seems long, or even too short for some tastes. And as usual.. like or reblog if you enjoyed reading it. Comment if you didn’t. Any and all criticism is welcome here. :) ps. for some stupid reason I couldn’t tag anyone AGAIN! Believe it or not I write and publish all my stories through mobile, so that’s another reason why this takes so long lmaooooo! I apologize if I’ve left a lot of you out. Again, I hate the mobile app. Someone buy me a laptop for my birthday. 

random list about myself on things tht i feel like i could be doing better on....?

- PTSD sucks but u gotta like... tone it down esp around your younger followers 0__0 i had/have a really bad coping mechanism about mcfreaking losing it in front of others in hopes that someone will like scream @ me or tell me to kms Yeah It’s Weird idk how to explain it and frankly i dont need to go into detail

- soudgsfadasd now all of that is making me think about how like Unrestrained Intense Mnetally Ill i could get on here at times especially during my bad psychotic episodes / bad flashbacks [cringes] pom even if ur brain is convinced ppl aren’t actually real u can’t just unload every intense ass thing ur brain is coming up with atm on ur followers to see LOL HGNNGSDK

- i never really have gotten into like The Really Intense Details and never will even tho i think im a pretty open person thts still extreme private information but like even so i already need to tone it down on the stuff ive said oiausdgslkdfm

- BIG ONE... don’t be afraid to like speak up if one of ur friends or just someone u know is doing wild bad shit!! dont feel compelled to keep the peace and just letting ur friends messed up behavior annoy the hell out of you cause when  u do end up snapping @ them You Really Snap and its obvs not my fault that theyre pulling Those Kinda Stunts but its not fair to anyone to act like that... (obviously some things r super minor enough where its not worth it but i mean in general / with worse things) 

if something is upsetting u to the point where ure talking to other ppl behind their back about it just be forward with the person (as long as its safe to do so ofc) or if u dont have the energy to throw hands just dont think/talk abt them at all unless its asking for advice on how the hell i should address them cause some ppl just arent worth it !!

i personally can’t blame someone for tearing me (or anyone else) a new one if i was doing some Wild Dumb Shit but like... its better to not throw hands if it can be avoided. im not gonna tone police others cause i think thats dumb ppl can be as mad and harsh as they want if its justified but id like to be as calm and polite as possible if i can help it

- if people dont wanna learn then they dont wanna learn ... u can only tell them so much.. it gets to a point where some ppl wont learn at all unless they learn it for themselves And Sometimes U Just Gotta Accept That (im not saying this to say that ure ever obligated to keep in contact with nasty bigoted ppl, im saying this cause i feel like i hve to help everyone all the time ever and then blame myself when i cant) 

Survey #331

my head hurts way too badly to think up some intro lyrics, so just g’night.

Have you ever become good friends with someone you never met in person? Oh yeah, I've had best friends over the Internet. Hell, I'm closer to many online friends than I am most irl ones. They know "the real me" more. What do you consider your default mood to be? Stressed, probably. Discontent. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve ever kept a goldfish alive for? Not long. Proper goldfish husbandry is a very neglected topic, and I sure as hell never knew how to set up its tank adequately. Have you ever been paintballing? No, don't plan to. It looks like it hurts like a bitch. Do you want a large wedding? No. Did you ever collect any sort of cards? I had a very small collection of Pokemon cards. I didn't collect them avidly. What’re the best and worst books you ever had to read for a class? The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton was the best. The worst was some book we had to read in the 6th grade about a kid during some war that moved around a lot... I don't remember the name or who wrote it, but it sucked. What’s the best meal you had at an amusement park, or If you haven’t been to one, how about a good meal at another place like a zoo, aquarium or museum? I don't know. I haven't been to many. Who, whether a person or company, emails you the most? My PHP therapist emails me a check-in sheet and Zoom link every day there's a therapy session. What kind of sound or noise freaks you out the most and why do you think it scares you? Let's seeeee... I don't know if there's a sound that actually freaks me out. There are some I don't like, but none that like, frighten me. At least that I can think of. What’s the strangest art piece you’ve come across? Biiiitch there's a painting in Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs I'm not gonna go into, but shit fuckin wild. What’s the most clever or unique name you’ve come across for a business? I've definitely heard some cool ones, but I don't know about one that really stands out to answer this. If you had to name one of your hypothetical future children after a song, which song would you pick? Maybe like... okay, I'm blanking. Good thing I'm not having kids to name then, right? What’s the last song you heard? "Down in the Park" by Marilyn Manson is on atm. What is your favorite line from a TV show? *shrug* Any current family issues? No. How many hours do you spend online a day? How do you feel about that? I'm doing something on the computer pretty much... always. I hate it, and I hate it a lot. I don't want my life to be tied solely to the digital plane. I want to do more than bounce back and forth from website to website. Do you think that people have the power to make their own lives better? Absolutely, but there are some things they simply cannot change. It's about perspective and how you play the deck you're dealt. What is the biggest problem in your life right now? Right now, the most limiting thing is my physical health, probably. Just walking being torture affects my ability to exercise, and my body is a major reason - if not the biggest, at this current time - for my depression. This also plays a massive role in jobs I can handle. Not to sound like my emo self writing middle school poetry, but my body feels like a prison. Do you feel that you are loved? I know I am by some people, though I have a hard time understanding why a lot. What is the one thing you want most from life? Life satisfaction. Pride in what I've accomplished. A regular state of being content. Birthplace? I'm just gonna say in eastern NC. Do you believe in love at first sight? No, merely infatuation. Love is much too deep for that. Do you think dreams eventually come true? Some can, but usually only if you put effort into making that so. Favorite fictional character? like ummmmmmmm have you heard of this sassy bastard called Darkiplier- Go to the movies or rent? Before Covid, I loved going to the theater. It was something to do, plus a giant screen is nice. McDonalds or Burger King? McD's. I'm not a big BK fan. I only really went there during my vegetarian phase for the veggie burger. Current annoyance? This motherfucking headache. Last thing you ate? I have a meal replacement shake with me right now, if you consider that "eating." I didn't have a proper dinner. The last solid food I had though was some cookies and cream Greek yogurt. Last thing you bought? With my own money, I think I bought Mom and I some cheap McDonald's order semi-recently? Or maybe paying my $100 deposit for my tattoo was most recent, idk. Soonest thing you are looking forward to? For Mom to get her CT scan and find out what's going on in there. What did you do today? It was a pretty average day. I woke up way too early, though. The only thing even semi-unique about today was I played World of Warcraft for a few hours again; I've been quite unattached to it lately, but I went through an episode today of actually having fun playing. Oh, and I've been battling a migraine. It's more of a severe headache now, at least, but it still sucks big time. Do you like to see it snowing outside? Oh yes, absolutely! When you were in high school did you ever have bomb threats? I believe once we did from a very volatile student that honestly caused quite a lot of trouble. He's dead now. Who knows ALL of your secrets? Nobody. Did you have a job before you were in college? No. Have you ever thought about what it would be like to have a baby right now? That's a terrifying thought, no. Are you on birth control? Yeah, but just because it tames my menstrual cramps. Without it, they could be debilitating some days. Who is your last sent text to? My best fren. Have you ever eaten at Chipotle before? Possibly? Idr. Do you swear often? Excessively. I had a dirty mouth prior, but my swearing got really bad when I started staying at Jason's house a lot. He and especially his mother swear like mad. Do you own any shirts with a peace symbol on it? No. Do you have your national flag hanging up anywhere outside your house? Not at this house, no. Would you ever go to Japan? Oh, yes. I would love to. It's... very morbid, but I would really like to walk the (public) paths of Aokigahara Forest, nicknamed "Suicide Forest" for the horrible amount of, well, suicides that happen there via hanging. Like, you might just casually run into a dead body. I want to just... feel it there, walk in silence and empathize with people who didn't know what else to do and hope so deeply that those departed know they were never alone in their pain. I know with absolute certainty I'd probably be teary-eyed the whole time and cry a whoooole lot, but it's just an experience I want to have. What was the last thing you went to Walmart for? Some basic groceries. What should you be doing right now? Sleeping, given this headache... I just don't want to yet. Are you afraid of getting your heart broken? I'm fucking terrified of that ever happening again, far more than words can properly express. Have you ever been in a choir? Yes, actually; when I was a Catholic kid, my sisters and I were in the church choir for a year or so, idr. Do you have a Twitter? Yes, but only to like Mark's tweets, haha. Oh, and very rarely enter giveaways I'm interested in. Describe your retainers to me, if you have them, that is. I have a permanent metal one behind my front row of bottom teeth to keep those straight. My upper teeth had one of those normal retainers you take in and out, but I didn't wear it enough, so now it doesn't even fit. Would you like for someone to call you right now? No. I'm tired, my head hurts, and I'm enjoying the song I'm bingeing. It's so weird, I rarely ever go on music hunting trips (no real reason, I just... don't), but I've found great shit lately. Do you like to brush your teeth? No; it's a chore. I only do it because I don't want my teeth decaying, falling out, or getting too yellow, and the taste in your mouth and gritty texture on your teeth isn't exactly great when you don't brush. Have you ever had a surgery? Two. Give out your phone number over the internet? I have over private messages. Do you look older or younger than you actually are? Given my wardrobe (like graphic tees and band shirts), I probably look younger in the eyes of especially older people. I personally say I look my age, though. When is the next time you’ll be up on stage? I never plan to be again. What is the last show that you watched a full episode of? Some cooking show with Mom. Nailed It!, I think? Do you know anyone who lives in Utah? No. I love Utah, though; it's actually a place I'd be willing to live in with just how pretty it is and not super populated. Do you get your feelings hurt easily? VERY. I'm probably one of the most sensitive people you can meet. Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? Yeah. Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Ugh, yes. What kind of vitamins did you take as a kid? First we took those nasty, chalky Flintstones kinds, but as time passed, Mom moved onto giving us gummy bear vitamins that were perfectly fine. Did you get any compliments today? No. Are you friends with your neighbors? Not "friends," no. What towns have you lived in? Three different ones. That's all you're getting. Have you ever thrown up from drinking? No. Done any illegal drugs? No. I mean I've had some alcohol underage, but I've never done anything remotely hardcore. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve been on an airplane without changing flights? Idk. Who have you texted today? My mom and best friend. What time did you wake up this morning? Ugh, like five in the fucking morning. I couldn't go back to sleep. What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries? Ketchup. What do you have a habit of doing when engaging in a conversation with someone? Making shitty eye contact, and I'm one of those people who "talks with [their] hands." I also lose my train of thought a whoooole lot. Have you ever layed in a hammock? Yeah; we had one growing up. Have you ever lost a pet in a tragic way? How did you cope? Well yeah, I've had lots of pets, so thus lost some in particularly painful ways. The most scarring loss of a pet though is as follows: Teddy, my dog, picked up one of our cat's very young, wandering kittens in his jaws in a manner that looked as if he was trying to carry it like Aphrodite (the mother cat) does when she would bring them back behind the couch, where she gave birth/had her little "nest." I absolutely freaked and had to pry the kitten from his mouth, and it slowly died in my hands. I think Teddy accidentally crushed its ribs. I. Was. A. Mess. Then, there was Aphrodite herself. I've told the story before of our former neighbors calling animal control because our cats would wander through their yard, and all of our cats were taken away while I was unaware at school. Came home, and they were all gone. Aphrodite was my baby, so I was devastated. Screaming, sobbing, cursing on the porch for like 20 minutes... It was awful. What type of curtains do you like? I don't... know? I don't know the actual names of any types... What type of quality is a must-have in a friend? I absolutely cannot be friends with someone who thinks they're above everyone else. Are you any good at reading someone's body language? I think I am. What goes good with a nice cold glass of milk? Cookies! Especially Oreos. Dip it in there for around five seconds, and it's perfection. What fruit is too sweet to you? Grapefruit came to mind first. How did you feel after your first kiss? I had butterflies galore and was so giddy and smiley. After the first, I just wanted to kiss him a billion more times. What’s your favorite constellation and why? I don't have one. Shower curtain or door? Curtain. The glass doors are too revealing. Have you ever thought to yourself that you’re the luckiest person in the world? Most deeeeefinitely not. What time of day do you most enjoy looking at the sky? Sunset if there are clouds present, but sunrise if the sky is pretty clear.

A heck ton (92) of questions

Thanks @teatowelhowell for tagging me!

THE LAST

1. Drink: Gingerbread green tea

2. Phone Call: my phone says my friend although I dont remember why lmao

3. Text Message: my mum asking her to pick me up haha

4. Song You Listened To: Living as a Ghost- GEMS

5. Time You Cried: like 2 or 3 nights ago?

HAVE YOU EVER

6. Dated Someone Twice: never even dated someone once lmao

7. Been Cheated On: see above :’)

8. Kissed Someone And Regretted It: cant regret kissing someone if youve never kissed anyone B) life hack

9. Lost Someone Special: no

10. Been Depressed: no

11. Gotten Drunk and Thrown Up: noooo whenever i drink i always get really paranoid about being sick haha

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS

12. light blue

13. lilac

14. silver

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. Made New Friends: ye boii

16. Fallen Out of Love: no

17. Laughed Until You Cried: yes

18. Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: no

19. Met Someone Who Changed You: maybe in small ways but i dont think so

20. Found Out Who Your True Friends Are: yes

21. Kissed Someone On Your Facebook: no

22. How Many of Your Facebook Friends Do You Know in Real Life: all of them i think haha i dont use it anymore

23. Do You Have Any Pets: yess i have a cat he is a special boye

24. Do You Want To Change Your Name: nah ive always hated my my name but im slowly getting over it haha (plus itd feel kinda weird to just change it?)

25. What Did You Do For Your Last Birthday: nothing much, just had some friends over lol i have a boring life

26. What Time Did You Wake Up: today at 9 but when i dont have school it can be any time from 8 to 12 lmao

27. What Were You Doing at Midnight Last Night: going through music to make a top jams playlist :’)

28. Name Something You Cannot Wait For: death im going on holiday in a few days!

29. When Was The Last Time You Saw Your Mother: like 10 minutes ago

30. What is One Thing You Wish You Could Change About Your Life: id like to be more confident and outgoing and more motivated haha

31. What Are You Listening To Right Now: Past Lives -  BØRNS

32. Have You Ever Talked To a Person Named Tom: yeah like 5 years ago

33. Something That Is Getting On Your Nerves: um idk my lips are kinda chapped lol

34. Most Visited Website: tumblr probably :(

35. Elementary: (im not really sure what this question is haha) it was fun i guess

36. High School: im in high school now, my last year once we go back after summer. I met most of my current friends there so :’)

37. College/University: not there yet but im having to decide about university and stuff atm yikes, im thinking about studying something related to business

38. Hair Colour: brown. not light or dark, just brown lol

39. Long Hair or Short Hair: relatively but not like crazy long? about boob level lmao

40. Do You Have A Crush On Someone: im not sure tbh maybe a lowkey crush yikes

41. What Do You Like About Yourself: i think i have quite nice eyes lol i have been blessed with long eyelashes.

42. Piercings: i have my ears pierced but thats it, and i probably wont want anything else in the future im too much of a wimp haha

43. Blood Type: idk my dude

44. Nickname: id prefer not to say in case irl friends find this lol

45. Relationship Status: v single

46. Zodiac Sign: leo

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV Show: game of thrones, nbc hannibal probably, im not sure off the top of my head haha

49. Tattoos: none atm but id maybe like one at some point? idk its a big commitment and im v indecisive

50. Right or Left Hand: left

FIRST

51. Surgery: ive never had surgery

52. Piercing: ears when i was 12

54. Sport: ballet when i was like 3 if that counts lol

55. Vacation: cyprus

56. Pair of Trainers: idk its not a moment that really stands out haha

57. Eating: surprisingly i dont remember the first time i ate something but i love garlic bread lol

58. Drinking: first time i got drunk i was 15 (on new years eve w my family lmao how wild)

59. I’m About To: stay sat down for like 4 hours probably

60. Listening To: Guillotine- Jon Bellion its a bop lol

61. Waiting For: idk nothing really?

62. Want: a gf lol free spotify premium :(

63. Get Married: yeah

64. Career: idk maybe accountancy (v exciting i know)

YOUR TYPE

65. Hugs or Kisses: hugs

66. Lips or Eyes: eyes (also id just like to say brown eyes are v nice and underrated)

67. Shorter or Taller: taller but thats not asking much bc im short

68. Older of Younger: older

70. Nice Arms or Nice Stomach: um idc really but i do love a good arm

71. Sensitive or Loud: i kinda need someone whos loud sometimes bc im bad at talking but sensitive is good, can you not be both?

72. Hook Up or Relationship: relationship

73. Troublemaker or Hesitant: hesitant i guess?

HAVE YOU EVER

74. Kissed a Stranger: no

75. Drank Hard Liquor: yeah

76. Lost Glasses/Contact Lenses: never properly lost, but ive forgotten where ive put my glasses for periods of like 5 minutes many times

77. Turned Someone Down: no someone would have to ask first haha

78. Sex on First Date: lol

79. Broken Someone’s Heart: probably not

80. Had Your Heart Broken: no

81. Been Arrested: no

82. Cried When Someone Died: no one i know in real life

83. Fallen For a Friend: no but ive had a lowkey crush on a friend yikes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

84. Yourself: lol no (i guess i do sometimes, but not enough)

85. Miracles: no

86. Love at First Sight: not really

87. Santa Claus: no :(

88. Kiss on First Date: do what feels right my dude im not against it

89. Angels: no

OTHER…

90. Current Best Friend’s Name: i must maintain anonymity lol but it begins with an E

91. Eye Colour: blue-ish green-ish grey lol

92. Favourite Movie: the lion king, primal fear, ex machina, idk i always forget favs lmao

im not sure how many people to tag so if you want to do it and youre not tagged pls do anyway lol (also sorry if youve already done this just ignore this haha)

@existentialshoelace​, @planter-lester​, @daniels-knee​, @iihappydaysii​, @lovinghowlter​ , @bitakalla​, @meow309​, @krystalinetg​, @starlightlesster

got tagged by kyla!! @spookymiscreant youre the sweetest person ever dont forget it :’) 

doing this on the sideblog just cause

1.what’s your favorite smell? love the smell of fresh sheets and the sea 

2.what do you think decides your hogwarts house (both objectively and how you personally fit in your house)? i think both who you really are and who you could potentially be come into play. The houses arent just one huge personality trait, slytherin are ambitious but theyre also protective of their own, gryffindors are brave but they tend to see things in b/w etc, things like that. pottermore sorted me into hufflepuff but tbh im still not sure if i really fit in that house, its still a 50/50 between ravenclaw for me lmao

3.what’s your safe haven, the place you go to sit and be alone? my room i guess, but not really  4.what’s bothering you? rant about something, get something off your chest. dont want to dump my bullshit on you dw about it haha!

5.what song makes you feel connected to people?  Constellations by Jack Johnson does it for me  6.do you have a favorite piece of art (if so, what is it)? UHM i have so many holy fuck, can i just give you some fave artists cause i cant choose one: BenCab’s paintings, JC Leyendecker’s works (my profile pic), GIAN LORENZO FUCKING BERNINI’S SCULPTURES that man fucking carves flesh outta stone man, wizards of my life  7.what’s a weird family tradition you have? cant recall any atm 8.what did you want to be when you grew up when you were in kindergarten?I wanted to become a Doctor or a performer, i loved being on stage back then haha 9.what’s the first tv show you binge watched? not sure if it was BBC Sherlock or Fringe 10.tell me about the most memorable stranger you’ve ever seen. i was about 5 when i was on a boat going to Cebu, was wandering around the cabins when i met this young couple, they offered me chips and we talked for a long time, i remember them teaching me how to tell the time right and what quarter/half past oclock means, and also asking about the baby bump in the woman’s stomach. I remember being shock cause they were the first people who didnt comment and got all cutesy about how i spoke english instead of filipino. I ate their chips and meatloaf before the lady got hungry and they wanted to eat somewhere else (they offered me the food ok). I still think of that as one of the best encounters of my childhood ever, i hope theyre doing fine with their kid somewhere! 11.why did you choose to study what you’re going to school for/why did you choose to work where you do (if you’re not in school)? not a lot of schools here offer animation as a course, it seemed like the best option at the time. and i love animation, i’d like to be a part of making those films we loved as children

1. What is your favorite poem? hmm not really into poems as much so i dont know

2. If you could have any eye color what would it be? prolly green

3. What would you do if you found 10 dollars on the floor of your parents house? I would tell them i found money on the floor and say im keeping it okay

4. Who is a musician or band that sings straight to your soul? LANY and Coldplay are some

5. Makeup or natural? natural cause idk how to put on make up ha

6. morning or night? morning

7. favorite instrument? violin, not cause i can play it but i like how it sounds 

8. Sherlock or Dr.Watson? Sherlock! og sherlock is fucking wild

9. Favorite Disney animated classic? Treasure Planet!!! 

10. What really grinds your gears? pet peeves you mean? when people prompt you to talk about something then dont listen, or when people just pretend to agree with what youre saying even when they clearly have something to say. 

11. How long have you been in this dumpster we call Tumblr? i made the account in 2009 but only started using it while in my hetalia phase in 2011. so thats 6 years i’ll never get back damn

not tagging anyone, feel free to do this tho~

Episode 6 - "Thank all gods, even the weird ones." - Stephen

Thank all gods, even the weird ones. I was not ready to go home pre-jury again. Although I’m still wondering if theres a hidden redemption island twist because most merges happen at 11 not 10. I also need to be careful of Clash. I trust him now, but he’s a strong player. I need to be able to have my own game apart from his, and be ready to vote his ass out when he starts getting too close to ftc.

Um so I have to vote one of my 3 closest allies which sucks but if I vote Allan that’s the best it won’t upset pat or randy and keep Stephen with me as well I hope I win this game I will IA 

Liana won immunity which sucks because she was the easy vote and puts me in a terrible position. So far Ginger and Emily/Vilma are possible votes

----------

Everyone's so cautious about saying names this tribal council, I definitely needed that immunity. If I don't hear anything from Liana/Ginger/Emily, I'm going to put Ginger's name out there and see where it gets me

----------

Looking quite bad here, Emily did tell me I should be safe, but just incase that was to mislead me, I attempted some very poor guilt trip/flattery. :(

i’m like pretty okay with going to tribal tbh because i trust the four in my alliance with me? like the only one i’m a bit weary about is ginger just bc she’s like a lil weird in general lol and she could turn on a dime :/ but i do think that if she did choose to turn on me, vilma, and michael, she wouldn’t choose me to vote out this round. she’d probably go for michael? but that’s only IF she chooses to flip. idk if she will. i have high hopes that this round will be pretty smooth. if i had it my way, we could vote tyler out now because i think he’s not as invested in this game as jacob. and it’s hard to play with people who are invested. if tyler or jacob don’t go this round, at least from our tribe, i’ll be very confused? also looking forward to merge! i’m worried but at the same time i’m content. like it’ll be a small merge which i love and i have pretty good relationships with a lot of the people left. so! that’s cute! i think i’m in a good position right now. well liked, in a somewhat powerful position, and under the radar for the most part. i haven’t really done much (or gone to many tribals for that matter) that have made me feel like a threat. yes, i was a leader on the saolatoga tribe and i was the one that brought up daniel’s name at first, but it was like an easily agreed upon decision. i don’t think people were too shaken or surprised by it. it’s something on my resume for me to see, not everyone else. and that’s exactly how i like it! i’ll read my list of doings at final tribal council. and i’ll wow the jury. but it won’t be obvious to them what i’m doing until they look at the game more objectively. i think that’s a good way to play. always on people’s minds, but not too much. positive opinion, involved in big decisions, but never the ring leader to the point where it’s dangerous. i think i’ve figured out a good balance! i’m hoping this takes me far. to the end!!!

----------

so there's a lot of stuff going on so im going to try to organize my thoughts. here we go. liana is immune, so that's hard on the rest of the tribe who... pretty much all wanted to vote her out but that's fine. honestly liana being immune is better for me than it is anyone else, so I am fine with it. it is making waves though, but they're fun waves. so the alliance of ginger, michael, vilma, and myself mentioned either tyler or jacob because they're the only options not in our alliance right now, but the thing is, ginger went CRAZY and was pushing for us to NOT VOTE TYLER WHATSOEVER! and they just kept pushing for jacob instead. I was very weary about this, but I didn't say anything at first until michael messages me saying that tyler is gunning for ME. and then vilma messages me saying that Michael told her this too, only he said that the reason tyler was gunning for me was because she and I were so close. SO! this means that tyler is aware of vilma and I being in an alliance. and ginger was probably the one to mention it to him. and then GINGER MADE A GROUP WITH VILMA AND TYLER SO THAT VILMA WOULD WANT TO PROTECT TYLER MORE. anyway, once this got out, michael and vilma and I made a group to talk about the vote and I think we're leaning towards ginger for the following reasons 1. way too protective over tyler for no reason. how the fuck are they so close? 2. tyler somehow knows about vilma and i's connection even though we've been extremely low key and I have never talked game with him 3. ginger is just actually crazy I think we can get liana and jacob on our side way easier than we could tyler. we're planning on telling liana and jacob about the vote, but leaving tyler and ginger in the dark. we just need to make sure none of this gets back to ginger like for real! they leak literally everything. I literally JUST messaged them saying that Tyler had thrown out my name and not even two minutes after I get a message from vilma saying that ginger had asked her about tyler throwing out my name. like ginger gets information and RUNS WITH IT. I truly cannot trust them. and it would create less waves to vote ginger out than it would anyone else on the tribe I think. like... after all the craziness that's going down, we need to send ginger home. I could kind of tell that ginger was a little weird, but I didn't expected them to be so cracked like genuinely cracked. lmao

Annoying Lyana HAD to win immunity, getting your lazy-social ass in multiple ORGs make u slay the physical game...and now I feel my ass is in danger! Im gonna do everything in order to stay here and Im already making plans. Not resting for a sec.

Sluggy voted out... saw that comming, him cheering on Stephen may have screwed us a bit At least its not Merge Double Tribal is gonna suck though. FreeRice is a great challenge, while im not 100% comfortable in my position atm but I am going to throw this challenge a little to reduce my threat a bit. Oh yay... the only one we didnt want to win immunity, and they win immunity, this is gonna make tribal fucked. I dont know what we are gonna do atm but i will to figure something out.

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Pre Double Elimination Tribal: I may have done it. It was messy bjt with the order of events, I may have been able to pull the strings to get Ginger voted out. Its going to have to keep Tyler in the dark but its going to have to be a risk we take. Ginger it too full on and too wild. He can't be trusted come merge 100%. Tyler i think we can work with a bit at least

Double tribal? No thank you. I’m hoping it’s allan that goes home, I never thought I’d say that. I’d really like to survive this tribal idk if I am though. I’m v nervous 

Uhhh so apparently we didn't merge and we have a double elimination round instead (Again???? I wonder if it's a redemption type thing this time). I couldn't compete in the immunity challenge due to a busy weekend irl so I'm vulnerable and really just hope I make it to merge. This round ended up being quite an emotional rollercoaster for me, here's a recap of some of my thoughts: 4:16 AM So ngl I would've wanted to go for Liana had she not won immunity She seems very sweet but I have chatted with her the least out of everyone She might've felt she was in danger Now I'm a bit lost and hope at least someone would tip me off if my name's thrown around 5:14 AM There's no way Ginger is voting Tyler out 8:26 AM Hmmm Jacob wanting to vote for Ginger I think Tyler I bet doesn't want that I'm trying to imagine whether I'd be willing to sacrifice Ginger or not if it came down to it I'd rather not I think Because he's been very open with me about his relationships and stuff So I feel I have a good read on him atm He still hasn't revealed he knows Clash though And I know he is capable of being messy Very good socially So I'm definitely scared of him But he is one of my closest bonds here atm so losing that would suck Of course if it comes down to me or him I have to go for it This really sucks because I like everyone on this tribe Jacob said he's closest to Emily and Tyler Tyler saying he wants to work with me and Ginger These relationships are so complex it's gonna be hard to find a common target And I don't even know what's my own preference I change it every three seconds 2:05 PM I tipped Michael off that Tyler and Ginger have become pretty close And he made a point that betraying that trust could cause us problems at merge Which I agree with So that leaves us Jacob I like Jacob a lot he is super nice but I agree he would probably be the 'least problematic' boot besides Liana As long as Emily is fine with it God I really just want to make merge and jury I've never not made them so my heart would break a little if I didn't Although my heart will break a little having to cast a vote for someone on this tribe tonight Everyone's so nice ugh 3:33 PM Um Okay so Michael told me Tyler is gunning for Em??? Apprently because her and I are close Soooo he wants to take a stab at me too? Not stunned by that That's not the best thing to hear right after establishing an alliance with someone Kinda feeling uneasy about Tyler and Ginger now People I am not voting for 100%: - Emily - Michael - Liana (she's immune lol) I feel Emily and Michael are being 100% with me So that makes me feel good about them 4:50 PM So looks like it'll be Ginger going That kinda sucks and kinda doesn't (mostly does) I'm partially okay with it because I've honestly been spooked by him since the very first day, he is very strong socially and he likes to be controversial sometimes which I like to stay away from as much as possible BUT That guy trusts me And he is genuinely very nice I like talking to him I'm gonna feel super super super dirty voting him out My heart will be filled with sorrow and I'm kinda scared of his anger afterwards He has been super honest with me so far But others are being put off by his aggressive playstyle Ughh it breaks my heart to lie to Ginger But I’m not gonna go out of my way to save him here I just don’t think that would be smart plus the numbers just wouldn’t be there Plus I feel more secure moving forward with Emily and Michael 0:04 AM I feel really really bad about this, haven't really been able to eat all day I understand why I took a six month break from orgs My mind is just not built for these I feel too bad about betraying people Plus I just think this move isn't quite ideal for me I'm betraying someone who trusts me so much and leaving out Tyler who also wanted to work with me, at least if I was alongside Ginger But I really just feel more comfortable staying with Emily and Michael I'm so sorry I'm a pussy and don't want to go out of my way to save an ally It's on me 0:57 AM I might have just messed up because I just talked to Liana assuming she had already heard about the plan but turns out NO ONE had talked to her about it yet... Two hours before tribal???? God if she lets Tyler or Ginger know I am going to be in massive trouble Also I don't think I can attend the tribal live I feel sick and disgusted at myself because of this vote, it's too much I hate myself Ginger I'm so sorry you were nothing but a good friend to me and I'm doing you so dirty I feel absolutely horrible having to lie to your face 

Did I already make a confessional about this? idk. I won immunity! yay! this is good on two ends: I cant get blindsided and; I can maintain a fiction with my Ala Mai boys that I would have been next to go most likely if I need to. Right now the target is Allen, because if we vote Randy out Pat will be miffed. My only issue with that is it gives Pat a lot of power, especially if its not an American who gets voted out from the other tribe. 

So that immunity didn’t go well. The one person we couldn’t have winning the challenge, won the challenge. Now the 4 are going to have to cannibalise ourselves and I definitely fear that eyes are on myself and Clash. Our only hope is to try and get Stephen on our side but I’m really not sure if we’ll be able to do that 

Arg hi. Just woke up and we’re gonna thrive today. That’s a lie I never actually thrive it’s a facade. Anywho we’re going to tribal cause of the double tribal twist hooray. Everyone was down to vote liana but oh no she won immunity. Right so I like ginger and Jacob but these rats are going after eachother. Everyone is extremely quiet I wouldn’t be surprised if it was me going. It looks like we don’t have enough votes to save Jacob idk, I just don’t want to be voted out ok bye

Nothing is cooking like im so bored Stephen own the individual immunity challenge so now the four of me pat clash and allan have to vote out im voting allan out, hope they do