#incurable and rare
Note
I wish my father was dead. All he does is yell and scream and I don't have the money to move out even with my job because I'm a full time student who works part time and most of the money I make goes toward medical bills. He has verbally abused me ever since I was 2. I am terrified of him. It's worse because he's a cop and thinks he does nothing wrong. I try to tell him how I feel and he just yells more. He has an incurable and rare brain disorder that causes him pain but I dont care. I'm glad he's in pain because he deserves it. I wish the disease would just kill him. He hates that I'm queer and I so far up trump's ass you wouldn't believe it. I'm a transplant patient and he cares more about him comfort than my health. I hate being at home because he's retired now so he's always home ready to yell at me no matter how hard I try to please him. I wish he'd fucking die.
Hey there,
This sounds like a really difficult to be in.
You mentioned that your father has an incurable and rare brain disorder that causes him pain, I am not sure what he has been diagnosed with and nor am I a doctor, but is it possible that part of his brain disorder is him not having full control over his temper? Even if this is the case though, I know that this doesn’t change anything in regards to you feeling terrified of him, but if this is the case (in regards to his brain disorder) then it may help you to put into perspective that he doesn’t really mean what he is saying? Just a thought!
Being a transplant patient and having to live with an abusive father for whatever reason is never easy and especially as you cannot move out due to most of your finances going towards medical bills. But do you have any close friends you could possibly sleep over at or another family member when your father is being particular abusive (more so than he often is) so that you can have some respite from him? Having a break may be really helpful and will also enable you to look after yourself a bit as well and recharge your batteries.
Although I know personally how easy it is to wish for another person’s death, there are more practical things that you can be doing with your time, for example one idea may be to find some things you can do after work and when you are not busy studying to help keep you out of the house for a bit longer – like joining some kind of group perhaps.
I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!
I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!
Take care,
Lauren
#mha-lauren#advice#advice blog#mental health advice#anonymous#wanting father to be dead#brain disorder#incurable and rare#abusive#transplant patient#full time student#working part time
0 notes
Text
system collapse
#i have a rare disease where every time art drone is mentioned i picture a longer furby. incurable#the murderbot diaries#system collapse#system collapse spoilers#asshole research transport#perihelion#my art
91 notes
·
View notes
Note
Under the stain is so good and so well written! Huge fan. I was wondering what’s the schedule for updates since you mention that the next chapter is already ready but I’ve had to wait for weeks for it to drop. Please drop it earlier if you can :((
Hi anon,
I already drop chapters of A Stain that Won't Dissolve earlier than I used to, because it used to be a chapter every 3 weeks, and now it's a chapter every 2. I can't go any faster, because I am literally working on eight different stories right now, and you know, I need money to eat food, and live, and pay my medical bills, and Stain doesn't do any of that, so my other writing has to come first.
I'm doing the best I can, anon.
You can always check out my writing schedule here. Generally A Stain that Won't Dissolve goes up every second Sunday. You are not the only one who is having to wait two weeks for it to arrive, everyone is, and I'm glad you're enjoying it, just...please know I'm also a real person who is working really hard all the time on my writing and Stain can't come first, unless you're willing to come here and pay me a living wage? Then we can work something out ;)
#asks and answers#a stain that won't dissolve#thespectaclesofthor#i have written 4 chapters ahead anon#the reason i don't post them is because i'm very sick and i have an incurable cancer and a bunch of other stuff#so if i'm ever too sick to update every two weeks#*i have chapters to post so that people aren't waiting even longer between updates*#that's the reason i write ahead#because i am perma-sick and i care enough about all of you#that i want to make sure i'm consistent even when i'm too sick#to make food for myself#(the good news is i am rarely that sick)#but i *have* been that sick before and will be again#so i plan ahead
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
it is becoming Increasingly Clear to me that i can no longer be taken out into public because i will start doing to fonts what jirt would do to the rocks and plants whilst on little walks
#the worm speaks#i'm noticing that a lot of signage these days don't have small caps which is a bit sad but i suppose they are somewhat antiquated#most of them have just straight up all-caps and i'm like 'mmmm. would a small caps version be better here?'#the other day i was like 'what if i left everything behind to get a job at a type foundry in taiwan. what then.'#what would i bring to the table there? why a sense of western aestheticism for the latin glyphs in their fonts#combined with a lesser but probably still noteworthy knowledge of chinese calligraphy to help ensure there is a sense of unity#btwn the latin and chinese glyphs#and also kerning i would bring kerning to the table for the latin glyphs. like if we Must be monospace abt things we can do that#but on god. the number of times i download a cn script font and go 'ah.' bc the english is the Ugliest monospace serif you'll ever see#fortunately while it is a bit of work it's at least easier to match english fonts to cn ones bc there are So Many more free ones lol#the other day i was looking through a chinese font website n i was reading their ~story~ behind this one particular series#that they based off the calligraphy in these five or six Ancient Rare Books in the national palace museum#and they were like 'yes the poetry was beautiful and moving. but to a type designer the writing itself is even more attractive'#and i felt so called out. i have just the most incurable font disease on the planet lmao#the other thing i think that might be neat to bring to cn font design Would be the concept of italics#like i know that's just not a standard thing and that Makes sense bc to oblique the letters is just#like. why would you do that. it's hard to read. but the spirit of italics is to change the font style entirely whilst keeping in harmony#with the rest of the regular typeface which i think would be Neat to bring in esp since italics usually have a bit more flourish to them#the other day i also found out that fangsong is used in government documents n i was like#>:0 no wonder it has every character and variant known to man......
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
oh as a bonus, i feel like depressed toxic! suguru isn't the type of person who would actively seek to cheat on his partner, but if someone flirted with him, he wouldn't put a stop to it and let things escalate.
He would be the type of person who uses his depression as an excuse to hurt others and not take responsibility for his actions and when you decide to confront him he just gets defensive and plays the victim, like this:
-I didn't want this to happen! I'm tired of everything and you only make everything worse with your complaints and insecurities!
i don’t think he’d use his depression but i do think he’d use a lot of gaslighting/manipulation even if it’s unintentional like i genuinely think suguru is just sooooo delusional sometimes 😭😭😭 he ends up believing his own words as he speaks and convinces himself that he’s right (when deep down he knows he’s wrong) BUT ALSO i heavily agree that he’d be like “i didn’t mean for it to happen…” “i’m just so tired… it doesn’t help that you always cling to me and ask me what’s wrong all the time y’know?” -> said w sad face like omfg don’t make me punch you in your mouth rn 😹 him using reader being Genuinely Kind and twisting it into something ugly… whew i hate this man rn omg i love it
in this scenario i agree w you! i think he wouldn’t actively make the first move to cheat but he WOULD entertain someone else and things would escalate (and it would be delicious of him wallowing in guilt afterwards… maybe he’s in bed w the person and while they’re asleep he lights up a cigarette with a very shaky hand and is almost numb… i think he wishes that the bed would swallow him whole bc he can’t undo what he just did, and he just feels utterly disgusting all over his body…)
AND THIS IS ANOTHER REASON WHY I NEED MORE FIRECRACKER!READERS 🗣️🗣️🗣️ don’t let him speak to you like that @ reader!!!!! destroy his life and his self-confidence & make him regret ever being alive my queen <333 can you tell i love it when ppl get their comeuppance like omfg KARMA bitch!!!!!!
#asks#anon#omg what if i use bestie sukuna in this…………. ANONNNNNNN i’m sorry but also not bc sukuna is everything to me#but reader & sukuna DESTROYING suguru’s property is so funny to me like who better than sukie to help you fuck sugu’s life up#ALSO!#i personally wouldn’t attribute it to his depression/have him attribute his own shortcomings thru depression#methinks it’d be more of like… hmm… maybe him just Projecting onto reader? no matter how fucked up it is?#maybe he accuses THEM of cheating and reader is like ‘??? you dumb fucking bitch what are you TALKING about’#and suguru is like. welp. I Fucked Up#bc he does not want to incur the wrath of reader 🩷🩷🩷 but he Will eventually TRUSTTTTTT MEEEEEEEE#i love love LOVE wrathful!readers who don’t take other people’s shit#it’s rare to see too 😭😭😭
1 note
·
View note
Text
the more I think about it, the more I'm not so sure that Charlotte sees the difference between regret and remorse. if she does see and understand the difference, I can't say for sure that she particularly cares that she frequently conflates the two in her mind and experience, and why that is wrong.
#for charlotte to feel regret is already kind of rare in and of itself#so for her to also feel deep pain and guilt over her actions is so improbable it borders on impossible#this is in part because she is designed to be very good at drawing lines and rationalizing her own work#she's very quick to draw a line between what is in her control (and therefore eligible to cause her guilt) and what is out of her control#and she draws that very close to herself ie. in a way that relinquishes control very soon#she also operates on the whole “the end justify the means” philosophy#so if all works out in the end or the net damage isn't as bad as it could be... then she doesn't really care...#what sort of harm was incurred during the process#moreover - whenever she does feel regret for a certain decision or action... it's because it put her or her plan at a disadvantage#rarely is it because whatever choice she made ended up hurting someone ( this is also possible - just rare )#if someone were to ask her if she ever felt sorry for smth she did she'd reply like yeah i do regret xyz#and not really see that she missed the point of the question
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
hey not to non ship be poor on maine but in a moment of adhd ‘i keep forgetting to do shit during business hours’ panic i was digging through my stack of mail, looking for my water bill (that i stupidly missed and forgot to pay last month lmao) and found a couple things from EBT and i was like
lmao how are they fucking me now, what are they claiming now????
i opened it up and found a new EBT card and i was like
bitch????
there’s 300.00 dollars on it
#txt.txt#A RARE FUCKING W FOR TEAM GOBLIN BAYBEE#WE EATIN.#non food money wise i'm still not doing great bc i also forgot to pay my rent and was a day late and now it's incurring a 65$+ late fee#and i'm like :') this is fine#but fucking FUCK i can EAT.#my freezer is literally empty.#i have some ice cream. some ice. some frozen chocolate covered bananas and my gf chicken tenders and thats it lol
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
I watched north and south years and years ago; I don't remember exactly when but I'm pretty sure I was in my teens
I loved it then, but there's an extra appreciation to finally reading the book as an adult who grew up in the north, lived for a few years in the south, and now lives in Manchester
#north and south#loving the book so far#especially how it's clearer that Margaret is rarely trying to be rude#she's just absolutely goddamn exhausted by carrying her entire family's emotional health on her back#and she's such a product of her circumstances#of living so long with her wealthy london relatives#she and Thornton are a great example of intelligence vs wisdom#Margaret has education but little to no life experience#even in helston she was sheltered by her father's position in the church incurring a level of deference#which she notices the absence of as soon as she arrives in milton#and yet she still makes an active effort to identify and overcome her prejudice!#but she's nevertheless hampered by viewing The Poor through a paternalistic lens!#I don't agree with Thornton's claim that anyone can become a master (and TBF even he walks that back almost immediately)#but Margaret goes the other way and infantalises the workers to an extent#whereas Thornton was deprived of an education but went through the university of life and learned essential skills like budgeting#god his family of three getting by on 12 shillings per week#while the hales are panicking over a hundred pounds per year plus Mr Hale's tutoring earnings
0 notes
Text
will kylie cry at her doctor’s appointment tomorrow? stay tuned to find out
#kylie rambles#the real question is#will i have some rare incurable disease that is slowly killing me#will i be there for nine hours and miss all my plans#who knows#hoping to be out by noon#really hoping to be done by 3:30
1 note
·
View note
Text
Ppl on here: *actively dislike me and avoid me and probably wouldnt care if i died*
Me: well alright fuck yall idc what happens to any of you either
Those ppl: omg this means hes like okay with us being genocided? Hes literally okay with us facing transphobia and other forms of oppression? I literally knew he was bad, lets demonize him more that should help
#like yall would put up a stink if i faced transphobia. give me a break.#idc about yall bc yall dont care about me. if you want.me to give a fuck then you need to start giving a fuck abt me too. simple.#i dont want you to die but the same way you dont care if i do i must return that energy.#im tired of trying to have love for people who wouod be okay with me being locked in a box for thousands of years being stabbed every day#like idc. why do i need to give af about you but you cant even bare to imagine doing it for me#fuck off and eat shit and develop a rare incurable disease from it for all i fuckin care at this point.
0 notes
Text
I agree with the idea that a lot of humans nowadays have a severe lack of curiosity about the world, but I think there has to be a solution other than shame.
I think about this every day because the fate of our world hangs on curiosity: either we will rediscover the importance and wonders of the soil and bugs and flowers and water and finally with the whole natural world, or this way will be forgotten.
People raised in the great wasteland of the suburbs and roads and buildings have never seen most of the plants and creatures that are supposed to fill every field and meadow. So many humans have never seen with their own eyes more than a scant few of the most common of hundreds of wildflowers that are supposed to surround them. Some live in biomes designated forest and have never witnessed truly mature trees. They do not know what the birds sound like. When they see an ordinary deer, they are awed and amazed by it or even afraid of it. They have never eaten any of the delicious wild fruits that grow in their homeland; all birds except starlings and robins and sparrows are so strange and beautiful that they stare in wonder. They confront insects like people on an alien planet encountering an unknown life form: What is this? Will it hurt me?
I cannot even describe the grief I feel on behalf of humans that grow up and live in the wasteland of pavement and lawn. That we are expected to live in these brutal environments, that we are expected to be content without the right or ability to live alongside living creatures, to walk among wildflowers, to hear birdsong, to feel the plush softness of moss, to see even common bees and butterflies—the fact that we live, work, and raise our children in poisonous wastes where nearly everything has been wiped out, and the simplest and most abundant of natural pleasures are rare privileges—it's cruel. It's a crime against the human spirit. It makes me so angry and sad.
When I started researching plants, I had no idea that I would end up expanding my mind so much that I would be virtually a different person within the year. Before I learned, I could not have imagined the diversity and beauty that exists in the world. My mind did not have the tools to come up with it.
I lived for over twenty years believing that there was only one species of firefly. I lived for over twenty years not knowing that the Southeastern US has native bamboo. I had never tasted the indescribable flavor of a pawpaw or seen the iridescent vibrance of a red-spotted purple butterfly. I had only seen a Pileated Woodpecker out the window of a car. I had never touched true topsoil, the soft, living blanket of rich, sweet-smelling earth full of mycelium, as springy and plush as a mattress. Just one year ago, I knew nothing!
Humans, as creatures, are insatiably curious and hunger for beauty. It is so cruel to deprive a human of relationship with their natural environment.
It is no wonder that we are all addicted to the internet—we have a crucial need that is unfulfilled. Compared with a forest, the world of lawns and buildings is so ridiculously flat and unstimulating. You would expect humans in such a place to feel constantly bored, restless, frustrated, and incurably sad.
I feel that lack of curiosity can be a chosen thing, but it is also a defense mechanism against a world that will feel like sandpaper on the senses of the curious.
But we need curiosity to fix this—we need the ability to notice the living things that have crept in at the edges of the wasteland and be infected and tormented by their beauty. We need to recognize the forest reaching into our cage in the form of tiny saplings. We need to discard the word "weed," not because it is derogatory because it is fundamentally incurious—it designates a plant as needing no identity outside of its unwantedness. We must learn their names. We must wonder what their names are.
15K notes
·
View notes
Note
How about intersex Natasha x fem reader where Natasha is basically on her hands and knees begging to fuck fem reader. Saying things like, "I'll make you feel so good." or "I only need 10 minutes."
High and dry
Paring: fem!reader x Natasha Romanoff
Warnings: SMUT, begging, pet names, nipple play, switch!reader, switch!Nat, P in V, breeding kink, soft sex
!Disclaimer English is not my first language so please excuse any grammar or spelling errors. This story is completely fictional!
Masterlist-
"Please" I heard Natasha beg "Like I said Tasha I need to finish my mission report first" She signed loudly. She woke up from a perfect dream; she had been thrusting in and out your tight heat and then just as she was about to cum- her alarm went of leaving her high and dry. She awoke with you already up and taking a shower, because of both of your latest mission you had opted for a few days of home office together. You only came home yesterday evening as the both of you decided on cuddles instead of a steamy love making session.
Now you where standing under the hot stream of the shower head, letting the hot droplets of water run over the soft skin of your delicate body. Only with a towel on you reentered the shared bedroom and Natasha felt like she just got even harder.
"I’ll go write the mission report now alright baby?" You leaned down to kiss her. Of course she noticed the big bulge in her pants with a little wet patch from her pre cum. "I hoped for some morning stretches first bunny?" She pulled you on top of her pelvis, you mewled at feeling the the bulge against your own crotch.
"Natasha not now" It took an incurable amount of will power not to devour your delicious girlfriend, but finishing the mission report would be much smarter. After all a quickie rarely failed to become hours long of passionate love making between the sheets. She groaned rubbing her temples, you had rarely seen her so needy.
A few hours later Natasha sneaked around the house like an animal searching for prey. "Natasha what’s the matter?" You already knew the answer to the question, but you wanted to hear her say it. "I need to fuck you, bunny, please" she mewled appearing behind your office chair to kiss your neck. "Natasha soon" you pushed her face away "I need to focus"
"I’ll make you feel so good" She pushed her face into your neck to inhale your sweet smell. She was getting at you it was hard to say no to her anymore "I’ll only need 10 minutes" she cooed against your skin. You closed your laptop before catching her lips with yours. "Fuck Tasha, do it quick" She couldn’t hide her excitement she wanted to kiss every centimetre of your soft skin. She spun your office chair around to lift you up, your wrapped your legs around your waist as she carried you to to the bedroom.
"Fuck sweetheart, ‘m gonna fuck this tight pussy so good." She threw you on the bed her hands going to the hem of your shirt pushing it up. She groaned in responds of seeing your stiff nipples. Her mouth latched onto your nipple teasing the hardened nub with her exerted tongue. You mewl at the sensation all the thought of the paper work long having left your clouded mind.
"Fuck Nat I need you inside" You moaned out pushing her head further down your stomach. "let me ride you sweetheart" Nat nodded before laying down on her back. You helped her undress before pushing her boxers to her mid thigh her large penis standing against her stomach. You grabbed her semi hard lengthen before moving your fist up and down her hardening dick.
You straddled her pelvis your hole hovering above her hardened dick. Her hands went to your hips guiding you down on her shaft. You let out an almost pornographic moan at her delicious stretch. You stilled for a moment to adjust to her length making Nat lose her mind. Your tight velvet walls hugging her shaft so good. Slowly you started to move you hips up and down and Natasha trusts up her into her tight heat groaning at he feeling.
You grab on the shoulders of your girlfriend before your lips meet hers. Her tongue went inside your mouth fighting your dominance, which after a fair fight she woman. Natasha needed more, more of your tight heat. Before you could say anything she had switched your positions pistoling inside your heat like an animal.
Her hand went to your puffy clit playing with the bundle of nerves making the pleasure almost unbearable. Your wall pulsate around her cock, she knew how close you were and she felt the same. "Fuck baby can I cum inside please" She whined above you and the idea of her sed in your womb turned you on. "Fuck Natty fill me up" She brought you to your peak before having her peak yourself. You felt her hot cum shooting inside your womb as you cream her dick.
“Fuck I needed that” Natasha laughed before pulling you into a tight embrace. “I’m sure you got time for another round”
:)
#natasha romanoff imagine#natasha romanoff x reader#black widow x female reader#natasha romanoff smut#natasha romanoff x you#black widow x reader#natasha x reader#natasha x you#natasha romanoff
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Blossom (Hanahaki AU) || Joel Miller x Reader
summary: Hanahaki- is a disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love.
warnings: Hanahaki disease, angst, happy ending, hurt/comfort, not so one sided love, blood, mentions of death/dying, Joel is bad at feelings.
a/n: I've been meaning to write a hanahaki fic for so long and its finally here! I hope you enjoy, I might write more with the other pedro boys with different endings >:)
You can't do this anymore. Everything's become too painful. Walking, talking, breathing. You've been shot, stabbed, punched, but somehow this was the worst pain you've ever felt. Maybe because it's coupled with heartbreak and a sense of unending loneliness.
Not to be morbid but you often thought how you were going to die. Sickness maybe. Lots of people in the QZ got sick. Maybe you'd push it too far with a FEDRA soldier one day. Or maybe a clicker would get you.
After all the times you've come close you're surprised it hasn't happened yet. Or raiders. You and Joel have come across them before and they aren't friendly. Even on your trek to Jackson you faced death multiple times and still made it out alive.
So who would have thought it was from an incurable bullshit disease that you've reached your end. It's funny if you really think about it. Survive a world ending apocalypse to get taken out by unrequited love.
You've hid it well honestly. No one has really suspected anything except for Maria. She's a smart woman and clocked something was wrong immediately. You denied it over and over but when she caught you bleeding from the mouth with flower petals around your feet, well you couldn't lie your way out of that one.
You swore her to secrecy and though reluctant she agreed. She's been helping you with pain medication. Keeping it under the table so no one else found out.
Sadly, it seems your time has run out. The bathroom door is locked and though you feel a sense of guilt for dying so suddenly like this, there's not much you can do now. You can barely lift your arms so getting up to go find help is out of the question. Not that anyone could help you anyways. The ground is bloody and littered with petals that have been growing inside of you for so long.
Hanahaki was rare but deadly. The only cure at this point was for your feelings to be returned. The surgery is out of the question with the state of Jacksons medical facilities. You'd given up hope long ago of Joel ever loving you the way you love him. Even as you sit against the cold lonely walls, dying, you manage to smile at the thought of the man. He was the cause of all your pain but he's worth every second.
You know that love and relationships aren't as easy as they used to be. With Joel he won't even think about the idea of feeling that way about someone. He doesn't have time. It's pointless. It's weakness. That's what he's always believed and though you've seen the cracks of that logic with Ellie. It's different. With her Joel sees a daughter. He doesn't have room for romance anymore. You desperately wish you were enough to change his mind. Not just because you're dying, but because you know he's worthy of love. He's fiercely protective, loyal, and perhaps that is his way of loving. Or maybe it's just his nature.
Even knowing all that about him, you still fell in love with him. Mostly you fell in love with his eyes. Those sad brown eyes that carry so much burden. So much sadness and rage. The eyes truly reveal all to you and deep inside he's just a broken man who's lost so much. His touches can be gentle and though he can't always express his feelings, he tries with you. Tries is the key word but hey, that's still something.
You wonder what will happen when you're gone. If Joel will be sad or if he'll move on and accept it. Will he care? You shake those thoughts from your head. Now isn't the time for that. It's becoming harder and harder to breathe. The energy in your body is draining slowly and you just don't have it in you to keep fighting.
Closing your eyes you imagine a world where Joel did love you. Where maybe the world wasn't horrible and the two of you could just, live. Maybe you'd move in to his house in Jackson with Ellie. He would make coffee in the morning and you'd make him a lunch. You could enjoy life together. Go see a movie, go on patrol. Go on dates where he gives you his jacket to keep you warm and where he kisses you whenever you ask. As you fade into darkness it becomes so real. A soft smile on your face as the pain floats away.
BANG
BANG
Your sweet daydreams are interrupted by a terribly annoying sound.
"Open this damn door now!" His voice is warbled as you aren't completely conscious anymore but you think it's Joel. Maybe you're hallucinating more than you thought.
"Fuck!" You hear him shout and suddenly the door swings open.
Joel is breathing raggedly as he breaks down the bathroom door. His eyes wide with panic as he takes in the horror scene in front of him. He drops to his knees and cups your face in his hands. Your eyes flutter closed and Joel panics more.
"Hey! Keep 'em open okay." He shakes your head until you open them. Letting out a groan of pain.
"You're fuckin' stupid you know that." He's angry, upset, terrified. How could you do this to him? To Ellie? How could you hide this from them? Your life on the fucking line and you refuse to tell him. He has to hear it from a rushed and apologetic confession from Maria.
"J..Joel?" You croak out. The pain gets worse as you try and sit up.
"Don't move." He commands as he scrambles for something, anything to help. He doesn't know what to do. What can he do? Blood drips from your mouth and he wipes it away.
"Tell me how to fix this." He tilts your head up and your eyes barely focus.
You frown as you see those brown eyes so distressed. There's nothing he can do. He knows that, he has to know that. You hate seeing him so upset. With all your strength you raise your hand and rest it on his. Shaking your head softly and trying your best to comfort him. Joel is completely and utterly helpless. It's a horrible feeling. Your eyes close and he starts to panic.
"Hey! Come on! There has to be somethin'" Joel lightly slaps your face but your eyes stay closed. He can feel your pulse slowing and he wants to puke.
"Don't leave me, please you can't do this to me!" He shouts. It's not fair. He's lost so much he can't lose you too. Not after everything you've been through together.
"Please..." Joel begs quietly as your hand starts to go limp.
You're still breathing but barely. He squeezes his eyes shut as rests his forehead against yours. Too fucking late. Too slow. If he had gotten here quicker, noticed something sooner, then maybe he could have done something. Rage builds inside of him as he silently begs for you to wake up.
"Please, I'm sorry baby. You can't leave me. I..." He thinks and thinks. Of what you mean to him, putting aside his fears, his doubt. You're his most trusted ally, a confidant, a partner, a friend. You're so much more.
"I love you." It's barely above a whisper as he admits it to himself for the first time and to you.
His rough hands tilt your head up as he kisses you. Every missed I love you, all the lost time, everything the two of you could have had, it's packed into his passionate kiss. He's sorry, he loves you. As he pulls back he waits, was he too late? Suddenly your eyes open and he tenses up. Slowly the pain fades and it feels like you can breathe again.
"Do that again, please." You ask.
Joel nearly cries as you smile at him. Without hesitation he smashes his lips onto yours. He's not gentle anymore as he mentally needs to know that you're truly okay. He feels your hands weave into his hair, pulling on him to be closer. He hears the small noises you make and your heart beating in your chest. You're alive.
"Took you long enough." He gently caresses your face and kisses your forehead. Too relieved that you're still here to care about anything else. He loves you.
He loves you.
He loves you.
He loves you.
And he won't ever let you forget it.
624 notes
·
View notes
Note
ok but what DOES happen when youre sleep deprived??? (<- has only read the russian sleep experiment)
if you want to read something fucked up about sleep deprivation that's real, there's a very rare neurodegenerative prion disease called "fatal insomnia" which is uh. fatal and incurable, as prion diseases tend to be.
so, sleep is necessary to repair cellular damage in your body AND your neurons. if you're sleep-deprived for an extended amount of time, these pile up instead. your immune system gets weaker, your memory suffers, your cognitive process gets wonky, you start hallucinating, and so on.
extended sleep deprivation literally kills your braincells. it's not really possible to go without sleep for too long, because your brain will start demanding it, even if only for a few seconds at a time, but if someone were to be given unethical experimental drugs that make it so they can't sleep AT ALL, the end effect is that they die. full stop.
we're not sure how long that would take because it has never been tested on humans for ethical reasons, but it's been tested on rats. they die.
897 notes
·
View notes
Text
I felt like God was looking out for me when Ao3 went down at my bedtime the night before I had to get up early aw ty 🥺 then I pressed the snooze button for 2 hours in the morning anyway because sleep disorder…. It never goes my way huh….
#no matter how much sleep I get I want more#may none of you ever come down with a rare incurable disease amd those of u who already have I’m so sorry this shit blows#IT DOESNT EVEN SOUND SERIOUS WHEN I DESCRIBE IT BUT IT REALLY DOES RUIN UR LIFE I SWEAR ITS NOT AS RELAXING AS IT SOUNDS
0 notes
Text
It makes me mad when people call Ito's work "Lovecraftian," if anything, Ito is the exact opposite of Lovecraft.
In Lovecrafts work, agency is something that every character has. There is a box with something evil inside of it. The characters know that there is probably something evil in the box. They may even have an understanding of what the evil thing is, and how it got into the box. The horror comes from knowing in your heart of hearts that you will never be able to stop yourself from looking inside.
In Ito's work, characters are doomed from page one, but in a much broader sense. Ito's protagonists rarely do anything to incur the horrors inflicted upon them. Some of his protagonists are even genre-savy. Ito's horror is knowing that you could do everything right, and one day, out of nowhere, you might get killed by a drunk driver.
It's why his work deals so effectively with themes like oppressive beauty standards and the pressure of conformity. They are ephemeral things that seem to emanate from nowhere, existing as banal reality until brief moments where they become terribly and destructively influential.
5K notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
