I love how Jude saw Cardan’s paper with her name on it over and over and was like wow he must really hate me when this is when Cardan was actually just doing the broody fae prince version of doodling Mr. Cardan Duarte in his diary.
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Cardan : I don't want wine, wine whines for me.
Jude *sighing* : For the last time Cardan, you're not funny when you're drunk.
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Jude: i hate you
Cardan: *in his head* enemies to lovers, slow burn, angst with happy ending, 300k+ words
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Cardan, stroking Jude's hair : You're so cute and pretty.
Jude, sleepily : I could beat the shit out of you.
Cardan, lovingly : I know.
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Taryn: Put yourself in my shoes.
Cardan: I would never wear those.
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Jude: who else here thought Cardan was my boyfriend?
Jude: Cardan put your hand down
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Taryn: Jude, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power!
Jude: Well of course I have.
Jude: Have you ever tried going mad without power?
Cardan: It's boring.
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Valerian: May your hands always be stained with blood.
Jude: The joke's on you. I'd love that.
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Cardan: I always smile or sneer when I'm nervous
Jude: You're always smiling or sneering when you're with me
Cardan: Don't think about that too hard
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cardan: jude... my sweet villain... darling god... my heart is a scabarous old thing but it is yours... marry me... become the queen of elfhame.
jude: ok.
cardan: *internally* SHE LOVES ME OMFG
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Cardan: You tricked me!
Jude: I deceived you. "Tricked" makes it sound like we have a playful relationship.
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the Bomb: I can't believe you and Jude broke the bed last night.
the Roach: Yeah, what were you even doing?
Cardan: um....
*last night*
Jude: Bet you can't jump high enough to touch the ceiling.
Cardan: Try me
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Cardan, after trying to drown Jude: 🎀🙄💅🏼✨🤟🤪🤪🤪🎶Im a BaD GiRL, I DiD SoMe bAd tHiNgS🎶🤪🤟✨💅🏼🙄🎀🎀
Jude:.......
*Years after they're married*
Jude, grinning: Hey, remember when-
Cardan: No.
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Cardan, if he lived in mortal world:
Google, please stop showing me sex ads. I know there are desperate sluts in my area, I have a mirror.
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jude, drunk: don't tell cardan, but i have a crush on him.
cardan, grinning: i definitely won't.
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Jurdan after having kids
Jude: *Sees Cardan nodding at something Lady Asha is telling him while holding Jurdan baby*
Jude, to the audience: Whenever Lady Asha tries to give Cardan parenting advice, he just does the opposite. It has worked out pretty well so far.
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