#in Stolas’s defense he’s just a little guy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pinkandpurple360 · 6 months

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What if this conversation continued??

Stolas: I’ve found myself with feelings 🥺for him 🎻 and I’m not sure it’s a mutual thing

Asmodeus instantly feeling bad vibes: Well. I admire that your expressing your lust freely and so blissfully ignoring all collateral damage and humiliation you’ve brought to your entire family! Admirable! But. I’m not giving you an elixir to force love out of this guy. Lust that’s forced isn’t lust at all, the pleasure is artificial. It’s sick. Sin must be chosen. You feel me?

Stolas nervously chuckling and defensively putting his hands up: ohoho noo 😅neeever that~ Ahem. This imp has a business he runs, I know your citizens are some of the few who can traverse the human realm freely and legally, I was wondering if you could find a way for him to do so too?

Asmodeus, awkwardly: ohh uhhh Stolas my heart bleeds for you 😐 but my partner-business partner, Fizzarolli, hates your imp guy, Blitzo right? Yeah. Hates. Him.

Stolas: He does? But why?

Asmodeus: (Ever heard of boundaries dude?) Not my story to tell, or yours to hear. Id help if I could but I can’t. Sorry. ok bye.

Stolas, leaving but still lingering around the room awkwardly cause he’s not used to hearing “no”: 😔boohoohoo…

(A beat, Asmodeus gets a text from froggy, he smiles, but then the more he thinks about Fizz and their consensual partnership, and thinks about the subtextual conversation he’s just had, it drops, as an eerie feeling begins to dawn on him. He holds off on answering for a moment)

Asmodeus: Hey. Hold on just one minute Birdy.

Stolas: ?

Asmodeus, threateningly: What, pray tell, do your little feelings for and sexual trysts with “this imp” Blitzo, have to do with his business, his ability to access the human realm, and my citizens?

Stolas, pissing himself and backing towards the door: W-well you see it, we both agreed to, we h-had this ar-arrangement, I-came up—we both came up with—wh-

Asmodeus, unnerved by this sudden radiating guilt: Excuse me? What is the nature of this so called “arrangement?”

Stolas: Getting our “kink on” hehe, as it were…

Asmodeus: Despite the fact he is an assassin, not an escort? Correct? You’ve failed to answer my question on why this is in any way adjacent to formal business. Or my heavenly problem.

Stolas, sweating: Well w-we…I permit him-legally!—to access the mortal realm and in exchange once a month…I!! Now I know how this sounds, But it’s not..This can’t get out alright it’s not—

Asmodeus, enraged but then slowly smiling, disturbingly calm: Not legal whatsoever? A death sentence to all involved? A blatant disregard for the value of a priceless ancient Ars Goetia artefact your father gave to you, and of your duties to your family? Your daughter and heir especially? You “permit” him to run a business, and going by the ashamed body language I witnessed, he is coerced, by nature, into giving you sex? Is that a fact?

Stolas, sobbing, mascara running: you have to understand my pain!! I was so repressed! Caged! No one had ever wanted me that way! And my bitch wife and arrogant brother in law, they—demand divorce ‘compensation’ but I don’t owe anything-

Asmodeus: As. They. Should. And I’ll do you one better, “itty bitty” Birdy Babe😃 (A fat subpoena is slapped in his hand:

neglectful mishandling of a priceless Goetia heirloom,

neglect of duties, neglect to educate his heir

fraudulent business transactions

sex trafficking of a secondary citizen of pride ring - approved to be legitimised as a regular citizen for court by King of Lust, Asmodeus Goetia)

NOW GET. THE FUCK. OUT

#helluva boss #stolas critical #scene rewrite #I never noticed until now that Oz calls him by name. stolas calls him ‘this imp’

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bleucaesura · 23 days

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STOLITZØ - SIXTY SIX

“Look who’s finally awake.” Loona scoffed from the doorway.

“Sweetie!” Blitzø almost pushed Stolas off the bed as he turned and threw his arms wide gesturing to Loona to come and give him a hug.

She rolled her eyes.

He deflated and pouted.

Octavia popped her head in beside her.

“Via!” Stolas squawked.

He fell out of the bed trying to get himself untangled from the sheets.

“Hey dad.” She snickered.

Stolas popped up off the floor and brushed himself off, blushing an amusing shade of red. Blitzø chuckled. Stolas cut a glare his way.

The girls watched their dads, smiled smugly, and crossed their arms in unison.

Blitzø looked over, raising an eyebrow.

“What’s up with you two? You’re looking like the Grady twins right now… Creeping me out.” He pursed his lips.

Loona snorted. Octavia scrunched her face, confused. She looked at Loona quizzically.

Loona leaned down and whispered something to her.

“We haven’t watched that one have we?” Octavia responded.

Loona shook her head. “You don’t like horrors.”

“Hmmm.” Octavia rubbed her chin looking thoughtful.

F*ck, they are adorable.

“What were you referring to, darling?” Stolas whispered behind his hand.

“Creepy twin girls from a horror movie. Don’t worry about it.”

Stolas nodded. Clearly still completely lost.

Blitzø pulled him down and whispered “Maybe we’ll watch it some time and I’ll…. Keep you safe.” He blew on his feathers teasingly.

Stolas shivered, stood up straight and cleared his throat.

“Yes. Quite.”

Blitzø chuckled.

“You two are f*cking disgusting.” Loona stuck her finger in her mouth and gagged.

“Ya, dad.” Octavia smirked. “Not the time or the place.”

Blitzø barked out laughing.

“Raised us some sassy b*tches, didn’t we Stolas?!” He elbowed stolas in the ribs playfully.

Stolas fluffed and glared at him.

“I BEG your PARDON?” Stolas’s eyes flared.

Blitzø shrank.

Oh shit…

“Chill out, dad.” Octavia started to laugh. “It’s slang. Kind of a term of endearment. He’s not actually calling us b*tches.” She looked over at Blitzø. “ARE you?”

“I would never!” He threw up his hands defensively. “You’re both precious, beautiful hellspawn who can do absolutely no wrong!”

Blitzø clasped his hands together up by his face and batted his eyelashes at the girls. His eyes were huge and sparkling, like an anime kitten.

“F*cking right we are.” Loona grinned.

Stolas looked between the three of them, pursing his lips.

“Mmhmmm.” He sounded incredibly skeptical.

They all looked at Stolas and burst out laughing.

He blushed and fluffed, stamping his foot indignantly. The display only fueled their laughter.

He puffed his cheeks indignantly.

“Aw. Stols.” Blitzø tried to swallow his laughter. He reached out to take his hand.

“HMF.” Stolas threw his beak in the air, crossed his arms and stomped out of the room, brushing past their daughters in a regal huff.

Blitzø’s face fell, he stuck his lip out and pouted.

Loona rolled her eyes and pushed off the door frame. Octavia followed close behind as Loona walked over to Blitzø’s bedside.

“Don’t worry.” Octavia said. “He likes to be dramatic sometimes.”

Blitzø looked up at her with worry in his eyes.

“He’s not really that upset.” Octavia smiled reassuringly. “Just let him be a drama queen for a while. He’ll get over it.”

Blitzø looked at Loona. She gave him a little nod and wink.

Blitzø turned back to Octavia and smiled sadly.

“You guys are fine.” Octavia waved him off. “My dad’s just a f*cking baby sometimes.”

“Via!” Blitzø gasped, feigning horror. “Language!” He grinned behind his hands.

Octavia flipped him off.

They all burst out laughing; laughing until their sides hurt.

*****

#helluva boss #stolitz #stolas #blitzø #fanfic #stolitz fanfic #vivzieverse #vivziepop #vivienne medrano #brandon rogers #helluva boss fanfiction #blitzø x stolas #helluva boss stolitz

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midnighttheroies · 1 year

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Helluva Boss “He Can Get Hurt” Explained and In Defense Of The Newest Episode

so i was browsing on twitter after the new release of the newest episode, and alot of people where confused about blitz’s reaction to stolas being in the hospital, alot of people kept pointing out how stupid the line was, how it and how episode 4 sucks, ect, i even saw one comment about how helluva boss lost it’s charm?!!, and i’m here to show you exactly why none of that is true at all

1: “He Can Get Hurt” explanation

alot of people where confused by this line because in season 1 ep 5, blitz saved stolas by stopping striker when he was about to kill him, and in seas 1 ep 2, when he was stolas and octavia bodyguard, so the idea of stolas getting hurt shouldn’t be surprised and it was a stupid line

here’s why that’s wrong

blitz isn’t dumb, he is aware at the fact that yes demon royalty are targets for assassination and killings and such, but it’s not something that happens to often, also stolas is someone who always puts up a persona and front, he refused to break in-front of striker, and barely flinched when he was being stabbed with a holy weapons, blitz always viewed stolas an indestructible force, he’s seen was he’s capable of, and how powerful he is, stolas is an all powerful being, and because of how he always dismisses blitz’s rude taunts and remarks, blitz built an image in his head that stolas is someone who is incapable of truly getting hurt

until he did

when millie told him about how stolas got hurt badly, you can see the shock and almost denial on his face, and the “He Can Get Hurt” really sticks to you, because in that moment, when blitz found out stolas got hurt, it humanized stolas for him, it made him realize that stolas can be vulnerable, that he can get hurt, he’s not indestructible and he can die, and the possibility was higher then he thought, he could lose stolas, and that terrifies him, also the shock of something happening to someone you know, like the possibility of them getting hurt in such a way is always shocking, no matter what

2: “The R-word scene”

if you guys remember when blitz was speaking with the drugged out goat lady, blitzo was stretching out the word and said “can’t say that anymore” some people had some issues with this, i however thought it was pretty funny, some people though were upset because the show is supposed to be offensive and they didn’t say the word so their for the show is doubling down on itself, first off the show is offensive, just because they censor or don’t say the word fully doesn’t mean it’s doubling down on itself!!, second, it was supposed to be a funny moment, to me it was supposed to be “breaking the fourth wall” kinda moment, like blitzo knows if he says that word he’s gonna get alot of hate, kinda like how brandon in real life doesn’t say the word in his most recent videos anymore like he used to, i also think it’s a little bit of a reference to that, and i think people took it way to much outta context, i think people are taking it way more seriously then it needs to honestly

3: “The show lost it’s charm, it’s like it doesn’t know the plot anymore ect”

first off, the show JUST started season 2, second, helluva boss is a slow pace, slow burn show, their isn’t supposed to be anything big major character/story development just yet, if you ask me, the show is only getting better and better, like ep 3 is by far their best episode, that episode alone changed my whole view on moxxie in the best way possible and puts season 1 ep 1 in a whole new different light

also another thing, helluva boss is a show where it goes into more depth and you have to look at things more then what your shown, the show is showing subtle hints here and their and you have to make it out, and i love that, it makes everything so much more interesting

also you can’t just judge a show when it just basically started and doesn’t even have an ending yet

2: “Blitz Defense”

alot, and i mean ALOT of people where quick to point out how much of an asshole blitz was to stolas within those text messages and just him in general, but people forget that blitz is like this as a way to protect himself, we’ve seen stolas at his most vulnerable moments, we know stolas loves blitz, but blitz himself doesn’t know that, to him, he’s stolas plaything, a sex toy, nothing more, he’s scared of loving people, he’s scared of intimacy because he’s afraid of getting hurt, so he pushes people away before they can hurt him, which is what he’s doing with stolas, because he doesn’t think stolas truly cares about him, and even though he tries to pretend he doesn’t, blitz does feel something for stolas, he cares about him, if he didn’t he wouldn’t have been worried about him over the phone and he sure as hell wouldn’t have sent a text message, i don’t know if i would say blitz loves stolas just yet, but i do think he at least likes him, i personally see this as a “stolas fell first but blitz fell harder” kinda thing

#helluva boss blitz #Helluva Boss #helluva boss season 2 #helluva boss season 2 episode 4 #stolas #stolas goeita #stolas x blitzo #blitzo #blitzø #stolitz #stolas x blitz #stolas x blitzø #helluvaboss #ya'll need to chill out #twitter is full of hates geez

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almacambiondaughterofsaleos · 14 days

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Stolas in the trailer: "Do you feel any kind of remorse for what you do?"

I.... Ha.... Wow.

Talk about victim blaming 101, heheheh.

No, fuck you Vivziepoop. I can no longer be angry at your little writer's pet. No, the sheer FUCKING AUDACITY TO PUT THAT LINE IN YOUR TRAILER AND EXPECT US TO BE FINE WITH IT??? THE FACT THAT IM GOING TO HEAR THAT LINE AGAIN IN AN EPISODE WHERE THIS BITCH CRYING CLOWN IS GOING TO BE VICTIMIZED WHEN HE WAS THE FUCKING ABUSER, NOT BLITZ, I AM SO DONE WITH THIS SHIT.

You don't deserve to have the privilege to write or direct this show anymore. Not even a consultant. Get the fuck out, it's such a huge shame that your OWN characters can be better handled by a bunch of 13 year old WATTPAD FANFIC WRITERS. My ears needed an exorcism after that, hell nah. These episodes will be a dumpster fire, and I swear to god if that simp Ayy Lmao defends her shitty writing by saying "it's a lot of work handling an indie animated series", then I'll fucking thrash him in the comments for his dogshit defense, wait for the stans to come in.

Let's give support to actually good indie animated series like Lackadaisy, Spooky Month, Murder Drones and even very underrated ones like Chronicle of Pi, animated, written and produced by one guy, the guy who made the "How to Make an Animated Series" video. Plus even Ollie and Scoops and Monkey Wrench. But Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel? Nu uh.

This. Stolas is just the worst.

#helluva boss #vivziepop critical #helluva boss critical #vivziepop #helluva boss criticism #vivziepop criticism #anti-vivziepop #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel critical #helluva boss critique

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ravenwitch45 · 11 months

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What would happen if Striker joined IMP if he was a good guy? It's an au.

Oh okay, the coolest part of this idea to me is that it nearly happened in canon. Blitz fully offered him a job and that only fell through because of Striker being contracted to Stella and trying to fulfill that, so let's get rid of that pesky hen's involvement and explore a little on what I feel could happen with this AU

Striker joining I.M.P as a good guy AU

Now let me get one thing clear off the bat, Striker is still kind of an ass, He and Moxxie still get off poorly, he's still very boastful and cocky. The only difference is he was never contracted, so no actual murder attempts this time, he accepts the job and everything is hunky dory.

Also I'm conflicted on if Blitz would want him to join in on the company car pool to work, and all the scenarions that could work with, or have Striker ride Bombproof there everyday so there's a horse around. Choose which you like.

I have a feeling if he kept bullying Moxxie, Millie would eventually come to his defense, no parents around to scold her this time. So he learns to back off and be nicer to his co workers, no reason to make people who have your back in tough situation mad at you after all.

He and Blitz get along the best, after all he's the guy he really synergized with during the festival, becoming a bit of a common duo on missions. Also he has a horse which we know makes Blitz like anyone a bit more.

Not sure how his and Loona's relationship would be, she seemed cool with him so maybe she's less standoffish to him, maybe calling him over to show him something funny on her phone, idk seems like it'd be a cute little friendship.

Now if he apoligized to Moxxie, and chilled out with the teasing, I think they could be decent friends, talking bout gun stuff and music, since they both seem to like those things, Maybe something more if you want a Strixxie situation that's pretty wholesome, either way I think they'd grow to like eachother.

With Millie her only problem with him here is him antagonizing Moxxie so if he settles that she's okay with him, I can imagine they sometimes talk about her family, mainly venting since they both knew them, and while Striker seemed cool with them, I feel he'd still get her frustrations a little, plus there both Wrath grown Imps it seems so theres also something shared to talk about.

Now with Stolas... Well I feel good or not Striker wouldn't be the biggest fan of royals, as it seems to be big part of his character so he sees Stolas as a necessary thing for the book, and prefers him not to be around. He's standoffish if they interact and Stolas hasn't a clue why, and just awkwardly walks off, though eventually I think he'd see Stolas is just as much a victim of the system as he is, and he chills out, after all I also feel for the sake of another thing I feel happening here they probably should.

Speaking of that, One thing I feel very strongly about in this AU is I think Blitz is going to ask Striker out eventually, since he clearly liked him and was attracted to him, and without the falling out I feel he'd ask him out. Cause if theres any kind of universe Stritz would work healthily, it's this one.

Now interpret how this goes anyway you want, Striker could just politely decline and they remain friends, they try it out but find they don't work, or they get together long term, I feel any could work here. This doesn't disqualify any other ships tho so have a big happy polycule with the cowboy involved someway. XP

Now I could go into how Striker would work in the other episodes he just wasn't in, in canon, but this post is long enough so I might make a part 2 for that if you want it, in the mean time let me list off some random scenarios I thought up.

Striker misplacing his hat and getting the whole team to help him look, Moxxie tries to give him one of his in the meantime but it just isn't the same to him so he's still grumpy untill they find his actual one.

Whatever situation he had to house Bombproof falls through so they try to find another way, and get into shenanigans along the way.

The whole company get's treated to a fancy dinner (Probably by Stolas) And Blitz insists they go as a team bonding thing, but it has a strict dress code and Striker refuses to wear anything fancy and without his ragged hat (Blitz and Millie end up having to wrangle him into a suit)

Also in general he's just a grump when they get him to try new clothes XP

Striker discovering Blitz in his apartment constantly, and dealing with the same stuff M&M do. To the point he puts rope traps around, and it blossoms into a full goofy war between him and Blitz on who can outsmart the other. Ending with both tangled up in the traps, and they have to call M&M for help

I hope this was a good list of ideas for this kind of AU. Personally I really like the idea of a Good/Redeemed Striker, as I like him a good bit, so this was fun, also even if I don't personally ship them, the ships with Striker with one or some of the I.M.P members I've seen some cute stuff in passing, and this AU seems perfect for those.

#ask reply #helluva boss #helluva striker #helluva boss au #blitzo #helluva moxxie #helluva millie #helluva loona #stolas goetia #my writing

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wondersofspite · 2 years

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What makes me tenfold depressed of the current episode is another loss of potential. I haven’t watched it- even afraid at this point - but by reading other critics' comments, it seems like another episode wiping the bird dad’s ass.

If the writers actually explored Loona’s and Octavia’s conversation instead of using it to polish up Stolas’s (very much immature) parenting, they could actually expand on lots of things. Not many, certainly not the entire pacing and sloppy flaws, but at least, something.

Like. Look.

Octavia is a royal born and Loona grew up in abusive pseudo-dog care. Octavia has a father who is willing to spend and pamper her but does not truly try to listen to her, while Loona’s dad is very much willing but lives an incredibly poor status. Loona lived most of her childhood in an environment that deprived her of basic needs while Octavia ate on silver plate. Loona is literally a glorified pet and Octavia is an heir to a throne.

The potential, dude. The potential.

Imagine. This could have humanized both Loona's and Octavia’s situations. Share both their thoughts and feeling about the situation. Now, I’m going to go down some speculative routes and write up what else they could have shown with the scene.

Say, what if Octavia didn’t know that Loona was the daughter of Blitzo, and vented all the misery and pressure she is feeling cause her dad changed overnight “just for some imp”? Have Loona react to this with guilt, a bit of horror, and pity while as well some equal part of envy, bitterness and defensive protection. Where while she tries to console Octavia, now instead of praising the owl pervert, she indirectly defends her dad. Have her show that to some extent, she cares about Blitzo.

And with this, I think it would also be a nice reminder of the social difference between races. Perhaps, say, those two get into an argument cause Loona defended the guy who very much ruined Octavia’s household and her family. While she is much justified in her anger, Loona snaps back with something that stuns her.

“Who to say your own goddamn father didn’t force himself on the imp?”

Cause so far, none of the IMP crew talks about Stolas’s harassment. Despite him literally doing it publicly, more than once, Blitzo’s discomfort with it is louder than that is. Let that be to some extent why she kinda hates working: Not the fact that she has to work, but working on something that actively prospers from something Blitzo hates doing.

This could even be a sudden bomb for Octavia, who likely didn’t think (more or less, realize) that her dad, a royal, having affair with a less socially powerful figure could imply in context.

Heck, this could go in the total opposite direction where Loona actively tries to manipulate her.

Where that while yes, the IMP business fosters Blitzo’s suffering, it’s also something he wanted to do. Dreamed of. And main of all: She’s scared that once Blitzo can’t afford to keep her, she’ll be kicked to the streets. Have a little montage where right before she opens her mouth to call out how shit Stolas is, she slowly shuts it, then moves to look down the street. Have her look at, say, a stray dog, who’s following and desperately yelping at the feet of someone, till they are kicked away. Of bankrupt businesses begin shut down, of life on the street, of life as a discriminated group. I am far from a clever environment storyteller, and this is much trickier to do on paper than simply write it, but to point, some metaphor that shows her anxiety about her and Blitzo's future living conditions.

And when Octavia asks her what’s wrong, have her take a deep breath before saying the lines she said in the episode.

“...Your dad is trying his best.”

But make her actively look sick saying it, that she’s lying, that she very much thinks the opposite. But she lies: Cause what else can she do? If Octavia is given guidance in her confusion about her feeling towards her dad, she may actually direct her word right at him, whereas Stolas might actually pull back and cut his ties with Blitzo. Cut Blitzo and Loona off the only business they have.

That she’d lie to a teenage girl stuck in an abusive household for it.

Signify just how desperate they really are.

#helluva boss critical #Once again writers not giving a second thought to the female cast's complexity #Or other themes they have.#Reasons why i absolutely despise how they went from worldbuilding to melodrama.#All previous themes they had just vanished. Only reappaer when convenient #rewrite.

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gyubby99 · 1 year

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@disneyanddisneyships forgivemeifitsnotverygood

Stolas: we're Loreley's... friends.

Loreley: Yeah but we're not that close.

Stolas: Ofcourse we are, Lor! We all have so much fun together!

Loreley: I'd say go to hell, but I figured your asses are THREE RINGS DOWN FROM HERE.

Stolas: Such a compliment, lorey!

Loreley: Call me that one more time or I'll tell Blitz--

Stolas: I was just kidding, my good friend!

Loreley: Thought so. Anyway, Stolas, these are my friends.. human, friends.

Deena: Actually I'm not

Loreley: ...except for that one. She's a fish. No, a snake. A fish-snake. An eel.

Deena: I prefer the term "siren"

Loreley: Whatever. So that one over there's Deena, and the other one's Ali-

Alruna: YOU SKIPPED ME!

Loreley: They know you already.

Stolas: Oh, yes I know! Her name's.. Lagoona!

Alruna: It's Alruna, birdie!

Loona: I like her.

Alruna: Thanks! Um, cool shirt by the way!

Loona: :)

Hope: oh my god- Papa look! She's like an owl girl!

Octavia: who- me?

Hope: yep! What's your name?

Octavia: Oh, um. Octavia.

Hope: Hi Octavia! Wow! Are these real feathers? That's really nice.

Octavia: You think this is a costume or some shit?

Hope: I thought you guys were clowns. Or.. mascots.

Stolas: Clowns? Oh, my good friend Blitzy here used to be a circus performer!

Blitzo: Get your fucking hands off me, Stolas- And that was a long time ago!

Stolas: oh, but I really liked your horse with no legs..

Blitzo: Yeah whatever it was stupid.

Ella: Are you two... like.. together, together?

Blitzo: What?! No!

Ella: Oh.. you guys sure?

Blitzo: I'm sure, princess. and where the fuck did that even come from anyway?

Ella: It's just.. you were blushing when he told you he liked the hor-

Blitzo: Oh, no no no no that wasn't a blush! It's- it's- I'm a demon! I'm red all over! Well, mostly, but I was ANYTHING BUT BLUSHING!

Stolas: Why so defensive, Blitzy? ;)

Ella: Uh..

Loreley: One of these days I'm going to kill them both.

Octavia: .....

Hope: Papa! Can we keep her?

Alistar: I.. I'm not sure, honey. She already has a dad.

Hope: Oh, but can they live here?

Alistar: Um- they live somewhere else. Like where Lor used to live.

Hope: Oh.

Isaac: *holds her hand* I love how enthusiastic you are..

Hope: *blushes*

Alistar: hey hey save the love fest for later, we have guests.

Hope: But those two are flirting. *points at Blitz and Stolas*

Alistar: Aha- um.

Hope: They're making sex jokes.

Alistar: Hon I know you're 18 but-

Hope: THEY'RE BLUSHING

Alistar: Hop-

Hope: AUNT ELLA IS TRYING TO CALM THEM DOWN

Octavia: That's another tuesday for me.

Hope: Hey, where's your mom?

Octavia: *looks at her father sadly then back to Hope.* God-knows-where.. Not like she'd bother to tell us.

Hope: Wait, but then this would mean that uh.. your dad's cheating?

Octavia: My parents never really loved each other.

Alistar: *perks his head up*

Octavia: I swear to fuck I'd spend my whole childhood listening to them scream at each other.

Alistar: Oh..

Octavia: at some point I felt like dad hates her more than he loved me, but..

Alistar: Octavia...

Octavia: Well, but he's.. trying to be there for me. He makes it up for me sometimes..

Stolas: You know all I wanted was for you to have a normal life.. that's why I've always stayed and endured your mother's humiliation. I- I'm sorry, my little owlette.

Alistar: *looks down in sadness*

Rosalyn: *squeezes his hand*

Ella, walking towards them: Wow thank Hades you guys cut the flirting off, it was getting out of hand!

Eve: Guys I made cupcakes!

Blitzo: *perks his head up* Oh thank fucking god I was starving! *takes half of the cupcakes* Thaaank you!

Eve: Blitz? Long time no see!

Blitzo: HOLY SHIT EVANGELINE IS THAT YOU?!

Eve: Yep! I've grown pretty taller haven't I?

Blitzo: Yes I figured since the last time I saw you you were literally 7 but yeah, you did.

Eve: *laughs*

Blitzo: Holy fuck how many vegetables and milk did this fiery bitch feed you?

Hope: You know him?

Eve: Yes. I was raised by Loreley, and I got to know some of her friends. *leans into Hope* He was my favorite.

Hope: Oh! Why didn't you tell us?

Eve: I was 7, and I don't have that much memories of them. After he burnt a kitchen down trying to teach me how to bake in the underworld.. you could say Loreley filed the first restraining order in history. She actually didn't, but.. yeah. That's all I remember.

Mia: *laughs* EVE BURNING THE KITCHEN DOWN?

Eve: Technically it was Blitz.

Alruna: Odd since your acting mother on paper, probably, is the one WHO ALMOST BURNT MY TENT DOWN!

Stolas: Okay, everyone. Stop fighting.. we're here because we wanted to spend the day here in your kingdom! I hope that's okay?

Ella: Ofcourse, Stolas!

Stolas: *bows* Thank you, your majesty.

Blitzo: You dumbass SHE BOWS TO YOU.

Ella: Actually it's curtsy-

Blitzo: Oh, who the fuck cares what it's called- ohhh shit who the fuck is this giant?!

Elias: ,:)

Eve: Oh, you don't remember Eli?

Blitzo: Eli.. Eli.. Eli- GOD EVANGELINE THAT WAS FIFTEEN YEARS AGO OFCOURSE I DON'T!

Eve: Oh, then that's my cousin, Elias, preferred to be called Eli. My cousin.

Blitzo: HOW MUCH FUCKING MILK DID THIS FUCKER DOWN?!

Eli: um..

Ella: he's also my husband, so I suppose he get a little respect?

Blitzo: HE'S YOUR HUSBAND?! HOW DO YOU SURVIVE THIS HELLUVA LARGE ASS DICK?!

Ella: Flexibility.

Eli: O///_ ///O

Isaac: uh.. I did not need to hear that, mom.

Blitzo: AND YOU HAVE A KID?!

Emily: Two kids.

Blitzo: I'D SAY I DON'T ADMIRE YOU, LADY. BUT I'D BE LYING!

Ella: Well..

Mia: I think that's enough, Blitz.

Stolas: She's right, Blitzy. How about we go ahead and cool down for a bit? *traces his finger down Blitz' neck*

Rosalyn: Thank God Asher's still napping.

Hope: I think I'll go to my room..

Loona: I'll come with you.

Octavia: Yeah same.

Hope: Great! Haha!

Isaac and Emily: Don't leave us!

Alistar: It's best if you kids all go into your rooms.

Hope: *nods* *holds Isaac's hand and leaves with the others* Bye dad!

Alistar: ...

Rosalyn: Amor, I know how you feel about Hope having a romantic relationship. But, she's growing up. She's not gonna be her daddy's little princess forever. Just like how Ella was, remember?

Alistar: Yeah, but.. it feels like one second I'm holding her as a newborn baby, and now she's.. holding out her arms to another boy.

Rosalyn: I know, mi vida. Isaac is a good boy. I know my sunshine's in good hands.

Alistar: Yeah, he better be.

Ella: Oh, he is! If he ever breaks her heart I'd have no hesitation but to teach him a lesson, don't worry.

Alistar: Hm, yeah.

Stolas: Oh, I'll never be able to imagine my Via having someone! If I'd ever have such a thought I.. ofcourse if she's happy, but she.. she keeps on growing and I- I wish I could stop the time to make up for the things I've done. The neglect I put her through..

Alistar: You remind me of my mother. She too was in the same position as you... my father would sleep around while she has to carry children who would.. not make it. She had 6 babies who didn't survive. All because she was distressed of what my father does to her.. and to me.

Stolas: *gasps* poor woman.. where is she now?

Alistar: She has died, from poisoning herself.. just to get away from my dad.

Stolas: That's terrible, Alistar. May she rest in peace now. I owe you my deepest condolences.

Alistar: Thank you. He's.. done a lot more than to hurt her mentally.

Stolas: I'm.. very sorry, Alistar.

Alistar: It's fine.. which is why I'm taking the memories I have of my parents as one of the reasons why I try giving my children what I never got, what they deserve.

Stolas: *smiles warmly* You're doing great, Alistar.

Alistar: So are you, Stolas.

Stolas: That.. means a lot to me. Thank you!

Rosalyn: Yeah. Being a parent is not a very easy job, but as long as you love your kids.. hardships never mattered because when you know they're happy, and safe.. that's enough to keep you going.

Ella: Oh, definetely. You're right on that.

Stolas: :)

......

Blitzo: If Loona ever gets hurt by a guy I'm gonna rip his sack of shit ass to shreds and make sure no one ever remembers a letter to his name.

Eli: *sighs*

Deena: No no.. he's got a point.

Blitzo: SEE? SHE GETS IT!

#i did this while watching a slime tutorial #iyk what i mean

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lavenderchamomiletea13 · 2 years

Note

Hello how are you? May I request helluva boss fanfic?

Stolitz please 🍇 Or 🥝

Tw: Angst, blood, gore.

Stella tries to kill her husband but Blitzø steps in the way. He takes the hit and Owl guy tries to save him..

If you can't or don't want its totally allright Thank you!

( even if you don't want to do it I'll appreciate it if you could tell me! Thank you!)

HELLO YES I WILL WRITE THAT.

You. I like you, thank you for giving me a plot to work with! I was busy all day today writing a dnd campaign but I am writing this while I still have some time before we actually do the campaign, nyou for being my first request now onto the fanfic!

Stolas x Blitzø - Angst

Stella had absolutely had it. She had actually caught Stolas in bed with that thing.

That urchin who'd fucked her husband. The low life imp that Stolas had chosen over not only her, but over Octavia. She was tired of it. She'd had a gun ready since she had first heard of it happening, and was so fucking ready for this.

"You cheating, imp fucking, bastard!" She shouted, slamming the door open the rest of the way. Stolas shot up out of bed, a nervous look on his face as he positioned himself in front of Blitzø.

"S-Stella! I thought you were out with.. with your friends-" Stolas started but Stella cocked her gun.

"Cut the fucking shit Stolas!" She shouted, Blitzø getting up out of the bed, still mostly dressed.

"I thought you fucking ended things with her!" The short imp said, a bit defensively.

"I-I well, you see-"

"Keep your mouth shut you fucking imp! You-"

"Stella! You can't speak to him like that!" Stolas got out of the bed, carefully trying to approach her. She turned on him though, a fire in her eyes as her finger started the squeeze the trigger.

Stolas didn't even have time to react as Blitzø ran to his aid, taking the bullet to the upper ribs before he hit the ground. Stella and Stolas stood quietly for a long few moments, Stella's hands shaking.

"You ruin everything... Don't you...?" She finally said, dropping her gun to the ground as Blitzø trembled, clutching at his wound. "You ruin our marriage, you sleep around, you hurt your daughter... and you dragged this pathetic fucking imp down with you..." Stella clenched her fists as Stolas hit his knees.

"I-I'm.. I'm so sorry... Stella... Bitzy.. I Stella, please you have to help me get him to a doctor..." Stolas managed as he scooped the small imp into his arms, Blitzø wincing at the pain that seemed to shoot up his whole body, his breathing was getting heavy, some blood even leaking from his lips. Stella was quiet before she turned away, Stolas getting back up to his feet. She didn’t want to see that desperate look on his face.

"Figure that out by yourself." She whispered, and like that, she was gone. Stolas panicked, his body trembling as he wracked his brain for what to do.

"Y-Your headquarters! Of course, there's got to be someone there! Right Blitzy? Someone who could you help you! Of course!"

No response...

"Blitzy...?"

The imp had gone still in his arms, when had his strained breathing stopped...? When had it gotten this silent...

"I'm.. I'm gonna get you to see Loona.. don't you want to see your daughter again...?" Stolas forced out... No response.

He knew he was too late... There was nothing he could do... He slumped against the side of his bed with Blitzø in his arms, cradling him close.

"I'm so sorry... This... This is all my fault...” Sorry if this seemed a little bit rushed, I was just really excited to write it! (And also have to do some last minutes on the DND campaign since it might start in like two or three hours!)

Heya! Don’t forget to follow for more! I try to post daily! If you hop into my asks and request something from one of the fandoms I’m in (masterlist on my pinned post!) I might try and get around to it!

#helluva boss #stolas #stolitz #Stolitz fanfic #angst #helluva boss blitzo #helluva boss stolas

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weaselbeaselpants · 4 years

Text

The virgin Hazbin vs. The Chad Helluva

((hey is the “virgin vs. CHAD” meme associated with alt right or anything iffy guys I’m kinda worried it is. PM me please))

This is long. Also read my earlier post for context.

Earlier this month I was chatting it up with a friend about how Viv gets heat for her material stuff while other purposefully “edgy” or “problematic” writers get a pass. The convo made me realize another important note about why I prefer Helluva to Hazbin and that’s it’s approach to it’s own themes and humor:

There’s a spectrum of pure shock/schlock humor to biting, meaningful satire. South Park, Drawn Together, Panty and Stocking and anything by Brandon Rogers is on the schlock end. Bojack Horseman, King of the Hill and Aggretsuko are on the black-comedy-satire end. In the middle are Rick and Morty, Kill la Kill and Venture Bros, where the humor can be either basic and cruel or strive for something more.

The schlockiest of schlock still have their followings who are in on humor that’s, first and foremost, out to get under your skin and even makes fun of them. When these works are “progressive” it’s usually just through sheer representation of a minority, and if they DO strive for a message, it’s little more than a much needed hot-take pointing out how stupid something is. South Park in it’s prime was ESPECIALLY good at the former.

Another interesting about these properties? The characters aren’t really that complex. They ARE strawmen! They are stereotypes! They ARE awful people. But either through the sheer audacity of the situation or how much the plot involves them, you somehow end up caring for these miserable, one-note people.

Viv’s humor fares more on this basic “schlockynottooseriousparody/comedy”-side of things, but Helluva Boss does this better than Hazbin.

Helluva Boss -both the actual pilot and it’s promotional material- doesn’t make any promises for any “deeper” character development. None of these demons at I.M.P are good people. None of them are SUPPOSED to be good people - they are literally demons who were never human and know nothing but absolute sin.

((yes, I know this sounds similar to the “they’re in hell” non-argument. My point is not that this defense is foolproof, but that it works better in the context of Helluva vs. Hazbin. It’s a world building quirk, even though I’m not 100% sure Viv and her audience are in on the joke))

It makes their weird bits of NOTawfulness more funny because what business do they have being polite about their work or having any emotional connection to each other(Moxxie and Millie)? But they do! Blitzo is weird, even for a demon, but again he IS ONE, so his breaking into his coworkers house is just “annoying” to Moxxie and Millie rather than, you know, stalking which is absolutely what that is <--- it’s a bit of comedy that, to me, tells you what you need to know about these demons and what somehow is and isn’t good to them, which is to say: it varies!

((The one MASSIVE exception to this is Stolas who is 100% predatory and it’s played for laughs. Beejesus no. Get owl boy out here. ))

Different series use their mythical creatures to different affect. In Satina the joke is that this demon-antichrist really is more of a little girl with a looser dad w. the version of hell being a send up to classic, even basic depictions of demons in media. Helluva’s different, with the Hell in that world being more of a ritzy, scummy city where everyone’s a dick to everyone else, and that’s fine. Even the joke in the beginning where the imps interview one of their clients tells you all you need to know about why this guy is in Hell, how he doesn’t get the point, and what the humor and tone of the short is striving for. I guess that’s why I’m just not offended by them using the R word, Blitzo laughing at the homeless (which is more of a joke on Blitzo, I thought), or the child murder. It felt oddly in character for these awful little creatures.

Helluva knows what it is and what it wants to be. While it’s fans and creators still take it too seriously, it really doesn’t set out to do much.

Hazbin has 99 problems and good world-building aint one. What IS one of those 99 problems - just as if not more than the lackluster storytelling or world building - is it’s attitude towards the subject matter.

Hazbin wants to have it’s cake and eat it too, but it isn’t properly established and the creators/fanbase already overemphasis how our cast ‘isn’t ALL bad; deep down’ and how they’re ‘complicated’. It gets me mad when people claim Angel IS GOOD representation because I just ‘don’t know the whole story yet’.

-You’re right! I don’t. Stop building it up because as I’ve said before what we have at the moment is what we 100% get. I can’t criticize what I don’t know but I can criticize what I do know.

And what I know about it is Viv tends to promote her brand as being representive of LGBT+ people. Her fans and her act as though her works are actually a total net-positive ‘guyz we’re just being edgythey’reinhellandit’sapilotsoit’sfreefromcriticismanywayletswritefanfictionforaserieswedon’tactuallyknowyet.’

If Viv and her brand didn’t promo Hazbin as being deeper than it actually is/NEEDS TO BE at the time of this production in the storytelling - well THAT would axe a lot of the bad criticism right there. For all the discourse in the She-Ra and SU fandoms about what is and isn’t good representation, the showrunners of those cartoons don’t aim to stereotype + hit for the lowest common denominator while also insisting that their show is actually woke and ya’ll “just don’t get it.”

((As an aside, if you are any of the following: gay, crossdresser, sex worker, undead spider demon-whatever, and you DO find Angel Dust empowering. GREAT! AWESOME. MORE POWER TO YOU.

But just because you aren’t offended by it and it was made with good intentions does NOT give it a pass < that’s the point I’m trying to make. ftm even with the explaination of the infamous ‘Charcoal’ design in SU, black people still have the right to be offended))

Remember the episode of Family Guy where Quagmire’s dad transitioned? It was Family Guy so no matter what it was gonna fumble the message, BUT what made things 100000x worse was Seth McFarlane promoting the episode as something the Trans community would really like.

It’s one thing to be ignorant or trying -and failing- to make a difference. It’s another to be arrogant about it.

If you are gonna go all schlock-humor I think it’s best to take the lead of Bltzo’s voice actor, Brandon Rogers. He makes A LOT of sacrifices for the most insanely-purposefully-offensive jokes that straddle between making fun of everyone or just rustlin some jimmies. Dude’s the modern John Waters.

He also doesn’t promote himself as a gay icon. He just is gay and what helps a lot of his characters is that he’s often making fun of gay stereotypes by giving them character or making homophobes the butt of the joke. Brandon doesn’t act like a net-positive. It’s when you hear him in interviews that you know he’s genuine and know he’s not a threat.

And it’s why I don’t have the same expectations I have for his work that I do for Vivs; Vivs works are often telling me how I should feel. ((ftm it’s also why Brandon’s approach to writing, comedy and potentially deeper elements are better than Doug Walker’s or Sam Fennah’s attempts to make awful people “moving”))

.....hey is there anyway we could give Viv’s shows to Brandon cause I would love a Brandon-Rogers-flavored Hazbin/permanent Helluva!

---

TL:DR: If Hazbin had established itself like Helluva with it’s cast just being unlikable, nothing else you needed to know about them, it could have then PROBABLY have worked it’s way up to being like Venture Bros or Rick and Morty in it’s activism. As is, it’ still only “progressive” in a hypothetical sense, and I’m sorry but that hurts it’s credibility as a joke and a thought piece, which or whatever it wants to be...

#hazbin hotel critical #hazbin critical #critical hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel #helluva boss #brandon rogers

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abbyfreemansmind · 4 years

Text

Let’s talk about Hazbin Hotel

So, I finally sat down and watched Hazbin Hotel. I’d heard so much about it and felt the need to launch myself headfirst into having my own opinions about it instead of just listening to other people talking about it. This is gonna be a long post, so I’m gonna put it behind a neat little read more. Please note that this is coming from someone who genuinely enjoys adult humour and edgy humour and themes. I’ve got no problem with something that’s all swearing and raunchy jokes. It just needs to be done right.

Point 1 - The Plot The plot is describes as the Princess of Hell trying to open a new hotel to rehabilitate sinners so they don’t get exterminated during the yearly heavenly extermination to deal with Hell’s overpopulation problems. This plot is quickly undone through a few things that anyone can notice during the first viewing. 1 - Overpopulation? WHAT population? The scenery is most often noticeably devoid of any signs of life, outside of when background characters are called for. The scene where Charlie’s doing her news presentation is the most notable example of background characters. After this scene, we see almost nobody outside of the main cast and those weird little egg things. There are a few throwaway demons but outside of that, the streets are devoid of people. There aren’t even the corpses we had just seen during that opening scene. 2 - Charlie may as well be a total nobody what with all the power being the Princess of Hell holds. Just look at how the other characters treat her. You’d think the Princess of Hell would have some kind of benefit that would sway people towards agreeing with this whole idea. Instead, she gets mocked by just about everyone for reasons I can only guess involve winning her sympathy points from the audience. 3 - At no point does she give any proof that redemption would work. She basically says, “Hey guys! I hate seeing you all die, so I have this idea that has no backing evidence, that may or may not work, to try and get you guys into Heaven! Let me sing a song about it where I insult you all!”

Point 2 - Presentation I applaud the animators. Must’ve been hard, especially for Charlie’s overly fast song that really didn’t need to be nightcored, or literally any time Angel Dust was on-screen. Frame by frame. No rigs. All those stripes. All those colours that blend if you stare at them too hard or squint even slightly while watching. All that unnecessarily constant movement. It’s no wonder the thing took four bloody years to animate. Outside of animation, there are too many unneeded details and not enough needed details. Seriously. 1 - The turf war. We didn’t need this. We didn’t need this at all. If you take out the entire opening to it and the entire actual fight scene here, the episode still flows smoothly and we get the same amount of information and worldbuilding. In a pilot/first episode, you should only give the audience necessary details. Leave them wanting more, yes, but make sure they actually know what they’re getting into from the first episode. Make every scene count. Make it mean something. Don’t just shove every detail you can think of together and call it a day, especially if you don’t actually give the audience much information from it. 2 - Why is Hell overpopulated? Why isn’t Heaven? Why can angels go from Heaven to Hell, but demons can’t go from Hell to Heaven? Why does nobody care about being redeemed if Hell is so overpopulated that Angels annually come down and kill people because of it? Why does everyone treat the Princess of Hell like she’s worthless? Why doesn’t Angel Dust know about Alastor if they got into hell within 10 years of each other? Where is this supposed overpopulation problem? Would redemption even work in the first place? Why should I care about most of these characters (who are mostly complete jerks with no redeeming qualities other than “PROTAGONIST”, especially when two of the fan favourites repeatedly sexually assault other characters and, in one case, is both sexist and racist at one point)? Why are there turf wars? I should not be having to ask these questions. Don’t hold the audience’s hand, but don’t leave every single question you present in the show unanswered. Some of the questions presented make absolute sense to leave unanswered. Why does Alastor want to help with the hotel? Why are characters like Vaggie and Niffty, who do nothing all that bad, in Hell? These are questions that make total sense to leave unanswered for now. 3 - What crime is too terrible to be redeemed for? Charlie seems to think that literally everyone can be redeemed. That means murderers, rapists, abusers, tormentors... Certainly her song holds some kind of key to figuring it out! “Inside of every creepy hatchet-wielding maniac” Hmm... Okay... “All of you cretins, sluts and losers, sexual deviants and boozers” Uh... “So, all your cartoon porn addictions, vegan rants, psychic predictions Ancient Roman crucifixions end right here All you monsters, thieves and crazies, cannibals and crying babies" Oh... Also, did she imply that mental illness, alcoholism, drug dependency, plant-based diets/lifestyles, rabies and enjoyment of sex were sins in that song?

Point 3 - Edgy for the sake of edgy Hazbin Hotel tries to be an adult cartoon, but comes off as something a mentally disturbed teenager wrote during their emo/scene phase. 1 - The swearing and sex jokes. Oh boy. I’ve worked with children under the age of 15 who swear and crack sex jokes better than the adults in this show. The swearing and sex jokes are the only reasons this show couldn’t be aired as a Cartoon Network show aimed at edgy teenagers. It’s so poorly done that it in and of itself takes away from the quality of the show itself. Also, we have a character who’s name is an actual sex joke itself. Vaggie, full name Vagatha - a lesbian sex worker, of course. Fun fact for those who don’t know, but all of her previous character drafts had her name as some form of joke on the word vagina. This isn’t an accident, this is blatant and intentional. Also, here’s a pro tip for you! You can make an adult-oriented show without having swearing, slurs and sex jokes taking up a solid third or more of your script. 2 - The... “Representation”. Yes, Hazbin Hotel has LGBT+ characters! Yes, it has biracial and Latina characters! Charlie is bi, Vaggie is a Latina lesbian, Angel Dust is a gay man, Alastor is ace and biracial, Husk is pan, Niffty is Japanese (YIKES). Except none of it actually matters. No, really. Vivziepop was all like, “btw you can ship w/e, idc! also, i rlly like the fanon version of human alastor (who is whiter than marshmallow fluff even though he’s supposed to be half black)! :)” and threw all that out the window because... Who knows at this point. Now, if you look at the connected series, Helluva Boss, you get Moxie and Millie - an extremely obvious and loving couple. In Hazbin Hotel, you get Charlie and Vaggie who you probably couldn’t tell were a couple without somebody telling you that in the first place, what with all the loveydovey-ness going on with them. In fact, the biggest hint we even get is literally one line. “Life ain’t a musical, hun.” But then again, I’d be more apt to believe Charlie and Vaggie are friends, or Vaggie is pining after Charlie. Also, Charlie is a really bad girlfriend! She lets Vaggie get abused by practically the entire cast without so much as a single word in her defense and ignores everything Vaggie says. It came as no surprise when I remembered hearing about how the only reason these two are a couple is because one of the people on the team thought they were during storyboarding and Vivziepop just went with it. Also, fun fact, Vaggie fits both the angry lesbian and fiery Latina stereotypes. Charlie fits the stereotype for the bisexual cheater, what with how she seems to actually like Alastor more than her own bloody girlfriend. Alastor is canonically ace because he’s too full of himself to be with anyone else. Speaking as somebody who’s ace... WHAT?! As much as I don’t like Charlastor, it’s partially more popular than Chaggie because Vivziepop actually made them act like a couple for an entire musical number. Also, he’s annoying. He not only kept telling Vaggie to smile (heck you dude), he also smacked her butt, which is a form of sexual assault, people. This was all played for laughs, along with Vaggie’s (actually very reasonable) anger. Niffty is Japanese. A yellow-skinned demon who’s boy crazy and obsessed with cleaning... Big yikes. Finally, Angel Dust. The kinky gay man porn star/drag queen/drug addict/prostitute who verbally sexually assaulted two guys. Where do I begin. When it came to this guy, Vivziepop must’ve been like, “Imma throw every stereotype for gay men on this guy and call it a character!” If you look a Helluva Boss again, you get Stolas, who verbally sexually assaults Blitzo over the phone and also cheated on his wife with him in the first place, so this isn’t a one-off. Also, he was originally AFAB, so that whole line about “Why are you all women?” is more than a little heinous and in extremely poor taste.

In conclusion, this show is terrible. Everything about it. It needs some serious reworking, because as it stands, it’s really truly not that great of a creation.

tl;dr: Needs a lot of work and “ThEy’Re In HeLl!!1!!one!!!eleven!!!11″ isn’t even remotely an excuse for the genuine problems in it. Remember, at least one actual human being on Earth, not in Hell, wrote this garbage fire. Also, the animators deserve a higher wage than whatever they’re getting to deal with these designs. I shudder just thinking about animating them, with or without a rig.

#hazbin hotel #hazho #hh #vivziepop #helluva boss #longpost #long post

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ckret2 · 4 years

Note

I'm probably a little bit late for the hype, but for your radiosnake fic, was sir pentious being behind on current technology because he was just really heartbroken or bc he was somehow cursed? Sorry, sometimes i'm bad at understanding, so i wasn't sure if the karma bit meant that there really was some kind of supernatural intervention or not

It is never, ever too late to talk to me about one of my fics! People talk to me about stuff I was writing over a decade ago and I love it, you're good.

It's neither one, actually. He isn't too heartbroken to keep up, and he isn't cursed. He just lost so many resources that he can't keep up with new technological developments any more.

Long explanation below the cut!!

... god I think tumblr just, fucking deleted the cut. If there isn't a cut below this line I APOLOGIZE I tried to edit it back in, tumblr sucks.

Like, say in '64 someone comes into hell with knowledge of how to make a new weapon that's gonna change the game. Sir P's got a web of like a hundred informants who know they're gonna be rewarded when he has power, so he finds out about the weapon in three days and can snatch up the soul that knows how to make it in under a week. He's got a dozen mines from which he can extract the raw materials needed to make the weapon, so that takes a week; dozens of engineers working under him to figure out how to replicate the weapon based on the newly dead dude's half-remembered math, so that takes a week; and Sir Pent himself, the mastermind of this operation, has no more pressing needs to attend to--his airships are defending his turf without any need to call him in for help, he doesn't have to worry about collecting supplies because they have control of all the materials they need, nothing's disrupting their supply train in the sky, etc--so he can turn his whole attention to improving on this weapon, and he's done so in a week. So only a month has passed between this weapon entering hell and Sir Pent becoming not only the only person that has it, but the only person with the next generation version of it.

Compare: a new weapon enters hell in '76. After getting his ass stomped by the Radio Demon a decade ago, Sir P's lost most of his allies because they no longer have faith he can conquer hell (and even if they do, they don't want to risk getting on the Radio Demon's bad side—they don't know why he attacked Sir P, how do they know he won't attack his allies?) so he's got like, five informants. It takes him a month to find out about this weapon. If another overlord finds out about the weapon first and snatched up the weapon-maker, then Sir P has lost all opportunity to replicate it until the other overlord has made and started using it and he can get his hands on a copy to reverse-engineer, by which point this weapon's probably already on the way to being obsolete.

But say he DOES somehow get to this soul before anyone else: he's got like, maybe one or two mines under his control, so it takes a lot longer to extract the necessary raw materials, and that's assuming those mines have the materials this weapon needs. He might need to attack other factories or warehouses to steal the supplies he needs—and these factories & warehouses are probably being guarded by people armed with weapons he hasn't had a chance to replicate because a different overlord snatched up the weapon-maker before he ever heard about them, so they might overpower him, might even take out one of his airships. But say his raids succeed; they could take a couple of months, between planning and carefully executing the needed attacks.

It could take a couple more months for his heavily reduced number of engineers to figure out how to replicate the weapon, especially if it's outside their fields of expertise and he needs to find and recruit someone new to help—and what if he can't recruit anyone, because Sir P is no longer a top overlord that people will want to work for?

Meanwhile, Sir P is busy viciously defending his now very small turf with only a couple of airships at his disposal, AND he's got to plan and lead the raids for supplies, AND he's got to find and recruit new followers, AND he's got to organize repairs and do damage control if another overlord takes an airship out... so it might take him ANOTHER month to get around to looking at the designs himself and seeing if he can improve them. And maybe he's so stressed and overworked and tired he can't think of a way to improve the weapon.

So six months have passed and they have a rushed weapon that they might have had to make with shoddy stolen materials... and in that time, maybe someone with a weapon designed to overpower this one has died, and Vox has already snatched them up and made that weapon in a month, and so Sir P's new weapon is worthless before he uses it. Now he's six months behind.

Except he's not JUST six months behind. All his airships—which are his main bases, his main weapons, his main defenses, and his main transportation all in one—got blown up in '66, so he probably spent all of '66 and probably the next few years airshipless while he tried to rebuild them. Except while he tried to rebuild them, other overlords were stealing his turf because he had no airships to defend it—if he hears a facility of his is being attacked fifty miles away, he's powerless to go defend it. He's got no airships he can send to fight off the attackers. He's got no choice but to lose it. And that happened over and over, and he lost the very facilities he needed to rebuild his airships. So now it's gonna take twice as long to build half as many airships. And during all those YEARS he's trying to rebuild his airships, he's NOT going to be able to expend resources on keeping up with the latest weapons tech.

So in '76, he's not actually struggling to snatch up the newest weapon maker; in '76, he's finally built five airships, and they're all running on '66 technology. How is he going to even BEGIN replicating '76 technology if he completely missed out on learning about the '70 technology it's based on? By the time he's learned about '70 technology and is ready to face '76 technology, it's now '78.

Oh except another overlord who knows he's currently weak and fears what a threat he'll pose when he's strong again goes and crushes all his airships and now he falls behind five years again as he rebuilds AGAIN. And at this point Sir Pent is getting desperate, so he starts making stupid rushed mistakes in a scramble to gain some ground. (Stupid rushed mistakes like charging into Cherri Bomb's turf right after an extermination, or stupid rushed mistakes like aiming a giant cannon at Alastor just because he happens to be there.) And those stupid mistakes lose him more airships and set him back AGAIN.

It's an endless cycle. He lacks the resources to catch up with the latest developments; without the latest developments, he can't get the resources he needs.

History lesson! The fact that Sir Pent was a top overlord for so long was part luck and part momentum. When he died in 1888, he was THE first supervillain. In life he had no peers, and in death he had no peers. He was THE ONLY ONE who knew how to make the weapons of mass destruction he made. He was the ONLY human soul that could make a machine that could slaughter hundreds. The only ones stronger than him were fallen angels and proper demons (not souls who had died, but entities like Lucifer or Stolas) who had proper borderline-godly powers.

In 1933, the Radio Demon took out the power of a vast majority of those proper demons, and that's what buoyed Sir Pent up to being in a position where he could start conquering hell properly. Again, in '33, he was THE ONLY human soul who could do that. (Except, perhaps, Alastor himself, but he has no interest in claiming turf.) Other human souls began gaining power the way he had—both in the living world and in hell, there were people specifically following his example as a supervillain—but he was doing it first, and he was doing it with a lifetime (and afterlifetime) of experience. By the 60s, there were other human overlords around who'd gained some experience and were now just as good at him... but they didn't have his resources. He had a head start on them of decades. So all of them were the ones taking six months to make a weapon because he held all the supplies and personnel they needed to make the weapons. That's the primary reason he was ahead of them. Yeah, he's brilliant... but his overlord opponents are all brilliant too in different ways. The difference was, he's brilliant AND he had ten factories already.

(And it's worth remembering that he also had the Radio Demon, who's basically a walking tornado, on his side for fifteen years; so every once in a while one of Sir Pent's enemies would just have an entire facility mutilated by this dude. Not only is that a powerful weapon to be wielding, but who's gonna wanna go work for one of the guys that might be targeted by the Radio Demon?)

So! That's why Sir Pent fell behind and stayed behind. No heartbreak, and no curse. Just mathematics. Just resources. He stayed ahead because he came into hell with more resources than anyone else and stayed behind after Alastor reduced him to less resources than everyone else.

As for the "karma" section in the fic—not one single word of that scene reflects what's happening in hell in the slightest. Every single word of that scene reflects what's happening in Alastor's head. Fifty years after screwing over Sir P, he feels so miserable that he feels like he's being specifically punished. After seeing how massive and unintended the consequences of his actions are, he feels like he must be some kind of walking curse designed to torture Sir Pent.

On the one hand, seeing everything that's happened to himself and Sir P in the last fifty years and describing it as "karmic punishment/our assigned tortures in hell" is a reflection of how cataclysmically sublimely unhappy they both are. He's like, I'm so damn miserable it's GOTTA be divine punishment because nothing else could be this awful. On the other hand, it lets Alastor push some of the blame off of himself (because this REALLY IS all his fault!) and onto fate instead, like, oh, I couldn't have avoided this, it's our divine punishment. And if it's divine punishment, then there's nothing he can do to change it, is there? There's no point in trying. There's no need for him to say "I'm sorry" and try to make up for his mistakes. Because they aren't really his mistakes. He's just acting out some sort of karmic role. Right?

(And remember that a chapter earlier he was waxing poetic about how hell's not actually a bad place, really, he and Sir Pent deserve to be in hell together because it's the place they'll be happiest. :) :) :) Like, that's a direct contradiction to his "karma" theory. In both cases, neither scene is saying true things about the nature of hell—it's just Alastor's speculation based on how he currently feels.)

The logic fueling his "Sir Pent and I are each other's assigned punishments and there's nothing I can do about that but grin and bear it" is the same logic fueling his "dead sinners can't be redeemed, they had their chance in life and wasted it, now they're in hell forever" to Charlie in the pilot. The message behind both is the same: we can't and shouldn't be forgiven for our past mistakes; why bother trying to make up for them?

#(welcome to my blog I answer questions about my fics with essays)#(it's an act of love I promise)#anonymous #ask #about my writing #meta #sir pentious #alastor

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pinkandpurple360 · 6 months

Text

Blitz and Fizz Talk about “That”

(Edited)

The dialogue writes itself. I physically couldn’t stop writing this, it flowed so naturally. and I used S2E7 dialogue of Fizz about Mammon, past events in the series, and Stolitz stans’ own disgusting SA apologia

Blitz’s phone sounds off with a terrifying ringtone, which is his very own scream of horror: I’m tired of taking this bitch’s calls why doesnt he use his own security.. (he answers and puts on his sexy persona) Stolas, h-hey hot stuff..Ew fuck…what can I do you for..buddy?

Stolas wantonly screaming through blitzos phone: Don’t forget about our little rendezvous my sexy impish plaything~ Oh~~ my darling Blitzy 😩 I cant wait to feel your slimy f*cking imp c*ck in my sl*tty royal cloaca during the full moon tonight, I’ve been so pent up since our first date, I prepared all the lovely bear traps and knives for you to stab me with oh yeeees—-fuuuck—-jelly sandwiches—-

Blitz, holding the phone away from his face in disgust: Ok ok Stolas I fucking get it….(sigh) I mean uh yeah I’ll make you my bitch or whatever the fuck (hangs up while stolas is still masturbating and screaming, completely ignoring him) satan fucking dammit it’s that time already I was hoping he’d get the message.

Fizz, who blitz didn’t know was behind him: Holy shit Blitz that’s how Princey dirty talks to you? You don’t even seem to be into his shit-hell if some freak spoke to me like that-

Blitz, extremely embarrassed and ashamed: Look it’s just…how he is. And listen he’s not my fucking Prince. Like I kept telling you, Stolas is a thirsty bitch who doesn’t give a shit about guys like us, he just wants a lower class impish demon to fuck him so he doesn’t feel lonely. I get to stab and bite the bastard as much as I want cause he can’t get hurt, and he gets..off. Look it’s only a monthly thing I get through it just fine. It’s not something I fuss about. Christ on a stick It’s fine!! Look I need this gig—fizz don’t look at me like that.

Fizz, very confused: I just—Wait what “gig” are you talking about? Aren’t you two a thing..at Ozzies…

Blitz: I was…I just..ok I know this sounds fucked up but I was uh..celebrating the wedding anniversary with my employees alright..uh..without them seeing me-

Fizz, pissed: Ohhh the sappy vanilla ones who hit me over the head with the fuckin lute, hah, the ones you said you’ve “watched pork many times”? Fucking weirdo-

Blitz: Ok point is, I called Stolas and he got me past that prude ass incubitch bouncer who wouldn’t let me in, by scaring the fuck out of him, which was hilarious by the way-and it was all a fake ass date I never wanted.

Fizz: WHAT?? Are you saying threatened Jesse? And you pretend to care about our kind-What the fuck—you let that snotty Prince intimidate my staff, crash the club, and steal someone’s reserved fucking table for a fake date? Can you ever stop being such a piece of shit?

Blitz: The bouncer was a dick!! You’re missing the point! Look--this conversations getting off the fucking rails-I have to fuck this disgusting thirsty rich prick of a guy in any way he likes once a month so that he lets me borrow his fancy ass book and I can get on with my actual job of killing people. I don’t have much of a…I mean I go through with it too..It’s worth the price. The sex is not something I fuss about ok , I just pretend I’m somewhere else. And don’t look at me like that!! I get through it just fine!

Fizz, unnerved: You “get through” it? And you hate him this much? That sounds like…assault dude. You literally have no choice in this if he’s holding your whole job over your head and making do this to get it like you’re doing favours for favours. Lust shouldn’t be about force-

Blitz, defensive: You clowny ass drama queen It’s fucking not “assault!” I’m the one who dominates his ass!! I’m a grown ass man i can make my own decisions!! Like I said I fuck who I want when I want. I’m not going to be tied down to him. And…even if he makes me sick…I-I AGREED TO IT! I CAN LEAVE ANY TIME I WANT TO—IM NOT-HE’S Not..Im not a…fucking victim alright…it’s fine. He ruined his family over it so I at least owe him. Plus I take advantage in my own shitty ways he doesn’t know about.

Fizz, getting upset: Maybe you do, to fucking survive? This guys had everything handed to him like a pampered…ugh…And who cares if you aren’t some noble saint. Or if he gave up his family for a thrust he coerces out of you. It’s not your problem.

You’re a piece of shit yes but in this thing? Fuck no. It’s all him! That guy sounds like a fucking dick! He’s using you for everything because..well…plenty of people have always been actually into you, and he’s a fucking trash fire who can’t even keep his dirty laundry in his own home. He’s a creep and you clearly aren’t even all that attracted to the guy! Your ringtone for him is you screaming in terror!!! This freelance assassin bullshit can’t be worth this!!

Blitz: This job is, Fizz!! I need this gig, without it I’ll lose everything! My home, the independence I’ve finally fucking built, that guys like him never thought I could get. It’s for my daughter, Mox and Mills need me, and I..Ive fucked up enough times already in this department, as you said..my love life is a pile of shit.

Fizz: Look I wouldn’t have said that shit if I knew—

Blitz: I don’t want to be…alone like he is, even if it’s this shitty guy…at least someone wants me, I want someone with me..

Fizz: Right….Kindve like I wanted a father figure?

Blitz trying to force a laugh: come on!! That’s not even close to the same thing. It’s fine. I just, have to do this!

….loooong pause

Blitz: By the way he’s the goetia Prince from years ago that Cash sold me to as his friend for the day cause he liked my jokes, and I had to steal all his shit risking getting fucking killed as a child. he still laughs at my jokes actually it’s uh, I mean he can’t be that bad can he if he laughs—

Fizz:

#stolitz critical #a role play I couldn’t stop writing #helluva boss #blitzfizz

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