have my first therapy appointment in an hour. gonna shrivel up into a husk

Hey um! I think I have a payment method now. Just need to figure out pricing

these announcements gave me a heart attack, sent me to heaven and then brought me back to life

anyway one of my friend's friends is gonna need a cat sitter for the entire month of august and guess who got suggested for the job 🥹 you'll never guess 🥹🥹

.

Some days I wake up and immediately know it’s a day where I’m not gonna be normal about Tales of Xillia 2 (2012)

The plushies are great but other things sold by sanshee feels like. Way too expensive

i put together my ps2 after i recieved the repaired fan

....the connector isnt the correct one for the fan. waste.

i put it back together and simply stole the workijg fan from my other ps2. WHY i havent done that earlier, i ddint want to steal it :<

but well. i put it all together. now it doesnt work

very awesome when something is even more broken after 'fixing' it

Man I've been in such a bad mood lately I don't wanna feel this bitter and spiteful abt everything but idk how to try and feel better since the root cause is smth I can't avoid hhhhhh

Hello sex witch! I hope i am not disrespectful or annoying in sending this ask. Im a mid 20s straight dude who has never had any sexual experience, and i know people constantly say that it doesnt define me, that i shouldnt base my self worth on that, but the fact is it is incredibly alienating to be an adult who simply does not participate in what for most people seems to be a normal part of adult life. I want to have sexual experiences, but at this point im afraid i am like… too broken to start? Like who would want to initiate a sexual experience with someone like me yknow? I guess im asking for advice in how to overcome this kind of thing and begin having a sex life. Even if you can’t provide much advice, I’m hoping that if you post this, maybe other people in my situation will feel a little less alone. Love and light to you <3

hi anon,

this isn't disrespectful or rude at all, and I'm glad you're willing to reach out for advice about this! I often worry that I'm missing the 20-something straight dude demographic, but I'm glad to know some of y'all are out there, because you deserve compassionate conversations about sex as much as everyone else does :)

I'm gonna say this right up front: you're not broken. nobody is! whenever you find yourself worrying that there's something about you that would make any potential partner go running, I want you to imagine the situation were reversed. if a woman you were attracted to told you something about herself that was the same thing you're ashamed of in yourself, would you stop being attracted to her?

in this case, would it be a dealbreaker for you that someone else hadn't had any previous sexual partners? would you think they were broken and unfuckable, or would you see that as just one aspect of a person who's much more than their sexual history?

if you wouldn't feel negatively about a partner having that trait then I'm sorry, you're not allowed to hate it in yourself! them's the rules!

listen: very rarely does a person pick a sexual partner because of their extensive sexual resume. people connect over shared interests, over similar senses of humor and values, over bonds that can be formed in a second if the vibes are right. most people won't care how many other partners you've had; they'll care if you seem interesting and dynamic and worth getting to know more in a carnal manner.

listen: ultimately, you have very little control over whether or not you have sex. it's largely a matter of luck and coincidence unless you feel like paying someone to have sex with you, which is a fine thing to do - sex workers need to make rent, after all. but what you can control is how you show up in the world, how you express yourself, and how you interact with others. cultivate yourself. dedicate time to your interests, take loving care of yourself, learn to do things that make you happy without shame, practice being a good friend and conversational partner, take risks that let you have fun outside your comfort zone.

in short, focus on the areas of your life that you can control rather than dwelling on the ones dictated so heavily by chance. the best case scenario is that you become the sexiest, most interesting person alive; the worst case scenario is that you enjoy life more fully whether you have a partner or not.

also, hey: for what it's worth, studies pretty consistently find that most people tend to WILDLY overestimate the amount of sex that other people are having while considering themselves below average. the truth is that you're unlikely to be nearly as much of an outlier as you worry that you are.

new years day

kind of taylor swift reference,,,, ☹️

NEW YEARS FIC!!!!! im sorry its 4 days late um. (im lazy)

lee!xiao

ler!aether

Xiao materialises silently on the balcony behind him, arms crossed. “Hmph, it’s you,” He murmurs, his voice barely audible.

“It is,” Aether said, waving him over as he leaned against the rails. Xiao complied, moving himself to stand next to the traveller. “So, is Liyue big on new years? It seems like it..”

Xiao’s gaze shifts to the bustling streets below, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Yes, Liyue is known for its grand celebrations during the lantern rite. Mortals gather to welcome the new year, hoping for good fortune and prosperity.” He turns his attention back to the figure beside him, his expression softening ever so slightly. “Is there a reason you ask..?”

“Not necessarily.. I was more asking if you were big on it.” Aether admitted, smiling softly at the city.

Xiao's eyes flicker with a hint of surprise, as if caught off guard by his question. "I... I suppose I don’t partake in such festivities," he admits, his voice tinged with a touch of melancholy. "As an adeptus, I have always maintained a certain distance from mortal affairs. My duty lies in protecting Liyue and its people, but I have never been one to revel in celebrations or seek personal enjoyment. It’s not in my nature."

He pauses for a moment, then adds, "However, I am willing to make an exception, if it is your wish to experience these festivities together."

Aether chuckled at the offer, shaking his head. "You don’t have to do that, Xiao, I know you’d rather not. But if you want.. we can stay up here for a bit?” He asked, tilting his head. “Please?”

Xiao's gaze shifts back to the lively streets below, watching as the crowds grow larger and the excitement mounts. "I appreciate your consideration.”

He turns his attention back to the blonde, his eyes meeting his. "If you wish to join me in this seclusion, I would be honoured to spend this time with you." He gestures to the balcony, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

He smiled widely, “Thank you~..” He lowered himself to the ground, his legs criss-crossed around each other.

Xiao follows Aether’s lead, lowering himself to the ground beside him and crossing his legs in a similar fashion. He glances at him, his smile a rare sight. “I hear your back from your travels in Fountaine, correct?”

“Yeah, it was.. well, Fountaine.” He laughed softly, his eyes trailing down his arm before he noticed something. “The ocean was amazing though, they-.. Hm.”

“..What is it?” The adeptus asked, a confused expression on his face as Aether’s fingers reached out to his skin. With anybody else he’d flinch away, but he's learnt to accept the travellers touch. “You're bruised.”

“I.. suppose I am,” He stated, seemingly not paying much mind to it. “Mere consequence of my battles.. You shouldn’t worry, There's probably many more to come. But.. they will heal due to time.”

“I know, it doesn't mean I like it.” He muttered, huffing quietly. “Yknow, if you ever need me to patch you up all you need to do is ask.”

“No need,” Xiao insisted, “But.. If it comes to it, I’ll remember that.”

“I’m glad.” Aether smiled, satisfied with the answer he received. His fingers dragged down the skin until he reached the end, his hand moving to rest on top of the other’s. -which of course would’ve been fine, but..

His fingertips trailing down his forearm made Xiao gasp, reflexively flinching back a bit. “A-Ah.. apologies, Aether. You just..”

“It's okay,” He replied, softly cutting the other off from speaking any more excuses. “My fault.”

The two sat like that for a few minutes in silence, simply enjoying each other's company. Well, it was simple until the blonde’s hand began to shift, nails drifting across his wrist an-

“Aether,” he spoke in a faked stern tone, turning to look at him.

“Uhuh,” He replied calmly, his nails grazing the same sensitive spot. “I'm just making sure you're not hiding any more injuries from me. What if you're in a critical condition and I didnt even know, hm?”

“Ihim- i’m not..?” a soft yelp left his lips, dare he even say– a giggle? “You’d know..”

“How am I supposed to believe that though? You're a very secretive person, Xiao. Now, I insist, stay still.” Aether smiled smugly, speaking whatever excuses came into his head first as he sneaked a hand to the adepti’s torso and latched onto his side.

“A-Ah! Aetheher..” He let out a shaky breath, restraining himself. “Don't just-..”

“Don't just what?” Aether tilted his head with a fake confused expression, his hand perfectly still.

“I.. ugh, your childish, Traveler.” Xiao sighed, turning his head away. Aether simply laughed softly, letting his fingers wiggle gently up his ribs. “I’m funny, excuse you.” He huffed, “I'm sure you’ll find me funny in a few minutes too.”

“I will no-hot!” He gasped, desperately trying to keep a straight face. He debated hiding with his mask on, but knowing Aether he’d probably give him hell for it..

“You’re no fun.. Come on, you're supposed to be laughing.” He whined, a playful smile shining on his lips.

“I don’t laugh.” He states, biting the inside of his cheek to keep his composure. “I’m an adeptus, it's un- hah.. unprofessional..”

“Sure you can, giggles. I’ll even help you!” Aether teased, gently pressing his thumbs into the bone.

“Don’t cahall me thahat!" He tried to grumble the best that he could, but he couldn't refrain from the small giggles that started bubbling from his chest.

“What, giggles? But it's cute! And you are giggling, y’know.” He pointed out, his hand darting to the others mid section and rubbing circles into his hip bones.

Finally, the dam broke with a gasp and breathy giggles, the shorter ducking his head down. “Thahats- nohot the pohohint..”

Aether cooed at the sight, shifting his position a little to be able to reach over and use both his hands. “Awh, Xiao~ I can think of a different point. Maybe about how you aren’t pushing me away?”

“I.. do nohot wihish to huhurt yohou.” Xiao mumbled out, his hands squeezed in fists to restrain himself. “Hm.. Excuses, excuses~” He sighed dramatically, giving his torso a couple last squeezes. “Alright, alright.. I’m done, sorry.”

As he regained his composure, he sighed softly, arms crossing over his chest idly. “It's.. fine. I suppose.”

“I bet.” Aether replied in a monotone voice, a knowing expression on his face. “No more tricks, ‘kay?” He promised, slinging an arm around his shoulders as a truce.

“..Mhm.”

the bloomingdale arc always got me especially emotional for whatever reason. i think its because there’s like. close to no happiness to be found in it, relative to the other stories, yknow? like most of them have a bittersweet “we’ve lost things but look at what we’ve gained” but bloomingdale just...doesn’t. the only thing you gain is a boat which like don’t get me wrong. the boat is sick i love the music but. emotionally? im still so bothered sometimes like. marion bloome is a lonely, neglected child. i know that after you clear that section of the game it’s clear that she was/is loved by people who aren’t just after her money, but that doesn’t change that statement. she’s an orphan in a house too big for her to grow into unguided and alone. she has a nanny, sure, but by the time we enter town it’s clearly been a bit since they’ve spent time together. the servants genuinely respect and care for her, but they’re servants, and clearly attached enough to the hierarchy to be intent on keeping up that role, even if they’re willing to do it out of love rather than pay. the dollmaker, kind and skilled as he is, can’t be there for her always. he can try to fill the void with the doll, but even that feels like a sad sort of metaphor. like. when you’re a kid with no real power and people who will do almost anything you ask and more money than you can understand it all just feels empty. none of it feels like it has real consequence and that sort of vacancy makes it all like a game. make believe. marion feels the doll is both as empty as her as it is the only thing with any real feeling because it is a mirror of her. personally i like to think that’s also why marionette is shown more to be spoiled and bratty - mirroring the inner child that is upset and hurt, yknow? conversely, marion feels super emotionally mature - which means she ABSOLUTELY knew that people came to “befriend” her out of greed and nothing more. but what else are you meant to do when you’re lonely? it’s the only resource she has. none of this has even touched on the fact that marion died alone. those last few words? that last wish she made? everything in her heart told her that she was going to die alone. if the fygg hadn't landed in her hands, she would have died alone, and her body would've rotted away til she was found - and i refuse to believe that would've happened quickly, given that i doubt marionette would've understood everything fast enough to bury her quickly, and apparently no one noticed that. her last moments in the world are spent rushing greetings and goodbyes and explanations to a friend she never gets to spend time together with for real. i just!! man im so upset on this fictional childs behalf. and it doesnt even really get better, yknow? her wish is such a sad thing like. i wish for you to be happy. i wish for you to find friends and family in the way i lost and will never be able to get back. i wish for you to find purpose. i wish for you to learn things i will never grow up to see. i wish for you to be happy. i wish for you to keep playing. i wish for you to keep playing. and it doesn't even really come true. marionette tries, sure, but she doesn't really...get it? and you can't blame her! she's the wonky creation made by otherworldly power that never should have touched her in the first place, and being human is such a difficult thing even for those born as one. but she tries anyway, even if she's hurt, even if she learnt to love seconds before learning to lose, even if she's navigating grief without a guide. and she makes friends, and learns just as she's told, but it's all...off. the people she "befriends" are more interested in her wallet than the child in front of them, and the things she learns are distorted. and then you come along, and as far as she's concerned you've come to take her like marion was taken, and it's no wonder she's terrified of you. and then she's kidnapped, and that's somehow better. it's all part of the game, right? she hasn't read the rules, so how is she meant to know? and then, when the tyrantula throws her against the ground of course she doesn't understand. of course it hurts her, even if she doesn't know why or in what way. (how ironic that a spider would be the one to cut the puppet's strings) (you save her, sure, but it doesn’t feel like it’s enough, not to me) she goes home. her world stays small. she doesn’t make friends, unless we count you. she visits the grave. she gets to say goodbye. she gets to be hurt, and see her friend one more time. and then...that's just it. that's it. she's just a doll. it's not like zere rocks - there will be no one coming to visit her, who will finally understand, and pay their respects. it's not like jona, who looks forward and makes her own future. there is no reuniting in the stars. there's just you, in an empty mansion kept alive by servants who will never know that the person they serve died long, long ago, that it's far too late to say goodbye to any version of her. just a forgotten dollshouse in the back of town, with marionette silent and unmoving on the floor, right back where she started. there's just you, the player. you get to keep playing, at least.

HII !!! LOVED YOUR ART ♡

do your csm ocs have lore? i'd love to read it ! (not me trying to make fanart no how would you think that nooooo of course nooooott)

HAADJKFMKLGD THANK YOUUU SO MUCH 😭😭 i dont know if i really have any good lore yet... im pretty bad at making that typa stuff i kinda just draw things lol

Orion!!

(i draw him a little differently each time dw abt it)

his pants are like- loose at the bottom so not tight fit :)) and he has like black combat boots i guess he's a whole sucker for black and white clothing hehe..

has a tongue piercing and a piercing on his right ear

he has a contract with the fox devil

likes the color white

does mma, anything to do with shooting things, and fishing

barem's right hand man (just a person to do his dirty work lol)

he's wasian, white mom (died during his birth), japanese dad (hates him for his mom's death and makes him try twice as hard because of it)

from a rich family who owns a [blank] company (i haven't decided what yet, i feel like a gun company would work but that's kinda ironic cuz yk)

he was a good child! always trying to meet his father's standards so he could do well, he wanted to be the best because he wanted his father's "love" (it wasn't really love. his father was emotionally manipulative and abusive and only gave him "love" whenever he did something in his favor or good. when he didn't he would tell him how much of a disgrace he is. only to treat him nicely again when he did something good.)

a social bird, made friend easily all throughout his school years, a popular and friendly person. he started to realize he could do whatever during his highschool years, because of his status as the sole heir to his father's company so he started to become more rebellious, going out more, skipping classes, getting drunk, but he always brought back straight A's. he became a rowdy asshole genius typa guy

closeted homo up to college years, he started really embracing his gay then. during highschool and middle school he would date women but he didn't really feel anything for them and would usually break up with them after a few months. he would make up the sweetest and most heartbreaking reasons why and they would forgive him, when in reality he really didn't care about them

his dad was suffering from heart issues as he got older, and as orion got older he grew to hate his dad, he slowly poisoned him with arsenic which led to him having a heart attack and dying!! one day he accidentally put too much arsenic into his food but he was like yknow what it's okay and then made sure to keep the maids away from his slowly decaying father, put him to bed early and tada he had a heart attack

he got away with it cause a) he’s the sole heir to the company and b) if he went to court? 💰💥💰💥💰💥

he met barem at the chainsaw church!! he was curious about it, flyers and all over town so he went to check it out. he got a tour from one of the church members before bumping into him. it was kind of a physical attraction at first, he just wanted to get into his pants. so he got a tour from barem, saying he didn't remember any of it (playing dumb blond stereotype lol). but after talking to him he was like hey wait this guy is also kind of cool and an eye opener (idk what he would've said i'll figure something out) and then he started to reeeeally take a liking to barem. he started to appear more around the chainsaw church, mostly around barem and talk to him a lot but he wouldn't join it. he didn't want to marry a woman. barem asked why he would come to the csm church if he didn't want to join it. orion was blunt and was like to see you ofc. barem was like ???.

sooner or later orion became his right hand man (i'll explain more on how later), or more of a person to just do a lot of his dirty work because he was so willing to do it. he's also willing to pay for all of barem's expenses. lol sugar daddy

ok i think im done for now but ill make like- a better doc for him i think he's like the first kind of fleshed out oc i've made in a while haha!

hiii. after watching class of 3000 what character interactions do u think would be most fun to explore. I almost typed explode

YAAAAY this is such a good question !!!!!! honestly as an ensemble cast i feel like class of 3000 overall balances itself and its cast interactions out pretty well (lil d, eddie, and philly phil maybe get some more extra centric episodes in my opinion though. granted it makes sense for lil d since there was an interview where andre said that the character was supposed to in some way kind of be based off him as a kid/his experiences in school)

ALL THAT TO BE SAID !!

pretty much tamika and anybody else. being fully transparent, this is bias cuz tamika is arguably one of my faves of the show and while she does actually get moments to shine i feel like shes just a liiiittle underutilized. when they start using her to set up gags about eddie being clearly infatuated with her instead of that being more of a consistent background detail it starts really negatively effecting the writing of both characters imo. she and madison have some charming bits and that episode where theyre paired up together but i would have also loved to see more of a dynamic between her and kim !! kim's very artistic and expressive and wants to be something of a trendsetter but is obviously (for very reasonable 12 year old reasons, i think) invested in still being apart of the "in" crowd and other people's perception of her, and i think that mirror's tamika's whole thing of being cool and tough but being afraid that that image might be compromised if she lets more of her softer side come through (her collecting dolls, baking cookies with her goofball dad, and actually really enjoying very mushy displays of affection for example) rather nicely ! plus their instruments (turn tables, misc percussive instruments and the harp) would go nicely together imo

I ALSO THINK tamkia and lil d would be fun to explore !!!!!! they kind of start off strong in the beginning of the first season but theres less of it as the show goes on which is a shame ! its funny to watch them squabble almost like siblings but its very clear that they still like and care about each other-- i mean in one episode where tamika goes to hang out with some other girls lil d laments that he misses her threatening him and when she shoves him he exclaims "we missed you tamika !!!" very earnestly !!! it would be nice to explore tamika's side of that yknow !!!

maybe the writers thought philly phil and madison were too similar since theyre both kind of eccentric goofballs to have them paired up more often but i think they could play off each other really nicely ! after all madison is supposed to be more of a ditzy but friendly hippie type and philly phil's mostly just socially inept and kind of clumsy, i think you could find a lot of comedy potential balancing that

i also think philly phil and kam could have gotten more screen time as a duo, seeing as they have the whole geek and nerd dichotomy going on. kam is more of a skeptic whereas philly phil seems to be more willing to believe in things like aliens and santa claus and unicorns even though hes a "man of science", i think it was a real missed opportunity to not have him and kam maybe get into friendly arguments about it or something, or maybe realize they have converging interests (like kam's belief/enthusiasm for bigfoot)

i like lil d and eddie's friendship ! it read to me like eddie was the closest to lil d out of everyone in the group, and i say that even without taking "eddie's money" into consideration (even though thats a great showcase i feel like as to what im talking about !) like everytime lil d needs to pay for something and hes just like "its whatever eddie's got it" eddie just does with very little to no complaint, idk !!! i just like em. plus i think they illustrate again some of the stuff andre was talking about in his goal of exploring the culture of atlanta and his own experiences there since lil d and eddie come from bankhead and buckhead respectively, and him (andre 3000 i mean) mentioning that he went to school on the other side of town with a whole bunch of ppl including the mayor's kids lol

i just love sunny's little individual mentor moments with the kids in general !!!!!! obviously he and lil d are big one and kind of the show's highlight for obvious reasons, but i also really love the one on one moments he gets with kim, which happen way more often than i initially expected !!! i would have loved to see him sort of guide and mentor again tamika a bit more too again to possibly help her reconcile both elements of her identity as both a no-nonsense butt-kicker and somebody with more "childish" or "girly" interests. and also him and philly phil, just because i think. it would be zany. and good for hijinks.

am currently dying because period cramps but i have 2 (two) drawing thoughts rn. one is what someone messaged me ty for that i love getting drawing requests mwah am giving you a kiss <3

TWO IS.......

UHM. SO YKNOW HOW IVE BEEN DRAWING LARRY AND EMMET ADVENTURES...BUT ALSO. THE DUMB GMAN IS LARRYS BROTHER BS? WELL UHM I REALISED I COULD COMBINE THE TWO....

(these are what im talking abt btw)

SO turns out Larrys fucking brother is the reason why Ingos been eebied.

How tf would he even explain that to Emmet. Like...

"Hi sorry yeah uhm. So your twin? Yeah my brother yote him to the past. Yes I also have a brother. No I have no clue why and I'm so fucking sorry please please dont be mad- do you want a rice cake? Here have a rice cake-"

(if im going all out with blorbos and crap why not mess around with more HL/Poke crack amirite or amirite)

Am imagining Ingo taking a deal with Gman to make sure it isnt Emmet who got sent to the past or something like... they both trip into the distortion portal and end up face to face with Giratina and by extension Gman but he makes a deal that Emmet gets to go free in exchange for Ingo taking the place of what Gman needs him to do and also for the price of his memories ofc.

Maybe Emmet gets hurt either before or after falling in and its a price Ingos willing to pay anyway just so his younger brother doesnt have to go through something so awful </3 idk am spitballing im done now im gonna pass out