#which is bullshit tbh Im an adult now Im willing to visit my dad but I dont think I should be forced to do anything more
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Man I've been in such a bad mood lately I don't wanna feel this bitter and spiteful abt everything but idk how to try and feel better since the root cause is smth I can't avoid hhhhhh
#rat rambles#rat vents#I was given a choice to avoid it a while back but my mom changed her mind so now I dont get a choice#which sucks because I rly rly dont wanna have to spend time around my cousins and other relatives on that side#ig I can only hope that the one stepcousin I actually like is still around but I probably wont get to see them much even still#theres technically another cousin I like but even hes become exhausting to be around#and then theres the shithead cousin and his shithead dad who I hate and am tired of pretending I dont hate#I kinda wanna shave my head before going just to spite them tbh but I wont#like my grandparents from that side's house is nice and stuff and theyre nice but like its all just become so. tainted to me.#but I cant rly avoid any of my cousins because itd take a god damn miracle for my mom to let me#which is bullshit tbh Im an adult now Im willing to visit my dad but I dont think I should be forced to do anything more#but like what else am I gonna do my mom has already payed for shit :/#I just dont wanna have to keep playing nice with ppl who dont think I exist yknow? even if they dont know Im trans#if I have to hear 'we can disagree while still respecting eachother's opinion' one more time Ill fucking snap#like bestie I dont respect your opinion thats the point#caculating the pros and cons of bringing my trans flag and just wearing it the whole time#pros: get to snap and be fueled by spite#cons: might get hate crimed :/#gonna double down on my threats of violence against transphobes this time if that bitch whines abt it Ill just deck him /j#Im so so tired of being nice I wanna go apeshit so so badly#I dont wanna debate ppl I just wanna be able to chill while on vacation without having to tollerate bigotry to do it
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