#im venting so hard here
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What's my biggest fantasy? Well I think it'd have to be... when my coworker messages "Can we start doing X?" even though I SENT HER the new workflow for X that just NEEDS HER APPROVAL (because IN THEORY she's supposed to own/direct X task and I'm just supposed to implement it) and every time she asks I reply to my own message saying "here in this very chat, right here, I sent you this new workflow. We cannot move forward on X until you review and approve it" and she goes like "Sorry I'll get right on that!" and then days later she messages me again asking "Can we start doing X?".... in my deepest darkest fantasies I tell her "scroll up in this very conversation and rephrase in your own words what I have messaged you so I can see that you have read my words and understand them".
And bonus whenever she sends me an urgent ask about a separate task/thing I need to fix I deeply, fervently fantasize about saying "Before I go drop everything to fix this, can you pause for a moment and read the message I sent you asking for your feedback on X that you left on read? Like you opened this chat, the message must be in front of your eyes, but clearly you did not pause to think 'oh before I ask this person to go do another task for me maybe I should look at the latest message in this chat to make sure I am not completely ignoring the ask they made of me that I keep somehow forgetting to do while still somehow remembering to ask 'can we start doing X' every few days'."
#bojanus chats#she's rapidly becoming a work nemesis#im venting so hard here#i try to respond very professionally IRL#but sometimes i want to call her#and then screenshare#and then go through our entire chat#and say 'this is where you ignored me#and this is where I asked for clarification and you did not read#and this is where i asked again#and you eventually said you 'thought you replied' to approve X#so can you please point to that reply???#because I scrolled through twice just in case#and still have not found it'#she is supposed to own this project!!!!#and yet is SO disorganized!!!!!!#She's clearly invested bc she keeps asking when we can do X#but she's not doing her part!!!#she used to be my comrade through awful spreadsheets!!!#I used to love her like a brother!!!!#I once resisted an 'as per my last email' opportunity towards her#in order to not embarrass her on an email thread#with our bosses#but i should have cast 'as per my last email'#when i had the chance#i swear im not a hardass ppl miss things sometimes it happens#but so many times in a row is just insulting at this point!!!!
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veep dad comfort art
#veep dad :]#i have Not been well mentally tbh the second im with friends i DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE anyways ill be VENTING A TINY BIT HERE#i need excitement in my life but im like#has no social life#oopsies...!#so i thought yknow what would make me happy rn. My Veep Dad#yea thats it#also ive been struggling with motivations to play ttcc and draw so....#apologies for being in the game less. especially as im in the post game with almost everything done#im usually kinda really goal oriented in games and yeah having no tasks or close friends to play with#im just kinda THERE and getting that initial push to do stuff is very hard#my motivation has just been at an all time zero (again) and it upsets me bc i do wanna do stuff...not bc ohh productivity but bc#i just wanna HAVE FUNNNN#anyways erm.... thanks for listening to my little rant here again. i dont know where else to express this sort of stuff. feels wrong to dum#it on strangers who i know are there for my art but. whatever. yknow#just wish i was more motivated in general but my life is Just Kinda Sad and im an Antisocial Anxious Wreck Dear Cog#senior vice president#sr vp#veep dad#personal tag if i dont wanna main tag....#doodles#traditional art#guz art#toontown
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whys it so hard
#toy txt post#yknow. just. everything. whys it hard to do things#like maybe im not going to enjoy the things but i know i need to do them. i want them to be done. i want to do the things and have them be#done. so whys it so fucking hard. my executives are dysfunctioning. i am incapable of starting shit. i am doing nothing and sitting here#sad and scared and angry#for what. why#i know the answer is like. brain dont work + capitalism bad and exacerbates brain dont work but like. why#whys it work like that. @god or whoever or whatever. whys it hard. things should be easier. fuck you#okay enough serious venting im silly now#whys it hard. fucka you. booyah bomb in your house. 3 times#crab tank twice on a small fry during lowtide fog. fucka you#you know what maybe squidciety would be fucked too but at least in squidciety i get booyah bomb#wait. i have 1 braincell and its connecting dots that dont make sense. dungeon meshi splatoon. lets send the squids into the dungeon.#they get revived. salmon dinner i guess#lets give marcille a crab tank
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hello scu enjoyers here's a little r!charlie with cg!schlatt yesyes. it is set in a zombie apocalypse so trigger warning for non-graphic mentions of zombies and also a gun! i dont describe any blood or gore or anything dwdw - also maybe slight unreality for the line "was any of that real?" near the end
hope u enjoy <3
//
“Oh, hey Charlie.”
Charlie’s head snaps up, meeting the eyes of a charming man standing behind the pristine counter of a little hole-in-the-wall bar that Charlie has never seen here before. His buttoned shirt is crisp, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows as he polishes a glass with a red rag. His apron is black and stainless. His hair is curled, his beard is groomed and well kept. His eyes are brown, and he smiles at Charlie as if nothing is wrong with the world.
“H-hey,” Charlie stammers. He looks up at the walls, the iron bars lining the entrance. He doesn’t remember walking inside, but here he is. The floor is strangely even, no plants, no rocks, no cracks. The groans of the infected outside seem so far away. “Hey- how do you know my name?”
The man’s smile does not change. His eyes flicker from brown to gold and back again. Charlie glances around the room. The light of the torches set in the walls is not comforting in the slightest.
“So,” the man sets the glass aside, slings the rag over one shoulder, and braces both arms on the counter. “Milk or juice?”
“What?”
“You look like you could use it,” he answers, simple as that. His fingers tap along the countertop. “Milk or juice?”
“What is going on, dude, how do y-”
“Milk,” he interrupts, eyes flickering again. Charlie shuts his mouth as the man’s expression changes just so, like a mountain challenging a pebble to a battle of might, or a sun backhanding a star out of the sky.
Then the man smiles again, simple as that. “Or juice?”
Charlie grips the straps of his backpack, a pebble, a pebble, a pebble. The groans of the infected feel like a hazy memory. He takes a step towards the counter, strangely uneven on the even ground.
“Juice, please,” he murmurs, taking a seat on one of the stools. It’s plush, comfortable, with a bar at the bottom for his feet. He swings them instead.
“Good choice,” the man praises, "now,” he laughs, “maybe this one’ll getcha. Bottle or cup?”
Charlie blinks. The mountain looms on the other side of the counter, with an amused smile on its face.
“Cup,” he answers, softer than he means to, but he can’t help it when he feels like a pebble, maybe all of four years old. The room gets hazy at the edges of his vision.
“Now, now, Charlie,” the man scolds lightly, almost teasing, almost stern, amused all around, “I think we both know the correct answer here.”
Charlie frowns, eyebrows furrowing. Was that not it?
“Cup, please,” he tries again.
The man tsks. “Charlie…”
He says nothing.
The man sighs.
“Tell you what, kiddo,” he leans over, sliding the glass easily off the counter and stowing it away underneath. He fishes around for something else, his smile still charming, his expression warm but oddly intense. “We’ll compromise.”
He returns with a dark green sippy cup with a light green lid. Two and a half hearts decorate the side, glaring up at Charlie. He looks away as the man retrieves another bottle from somewhere else. This one has a golden apple printed on the side.
“‘fraid apple juice is all we’ve got.”
Charlie shrugs. Apple’s fine.
The man smiles as he pours it, screwing on the cap and sliding it to him when it’s full. “Knew you’d be a good sport about that.”
Charlie wraps his hands around the sippy cup. It’s the perfect size to hold like this. His shoulders sag in relief, oddly comforted by this little bit of plastic.
“You’re doing so well,” the man praises. Charlie can’t help but preen at that a bit, turning the cup in his hands but not yet taking a drink. “I’ll step in as needed, but it’s quite honestly remarkable just how far you’ve come.”
Charlie tries to smile at him, tries to show he’s grateful.
The man chuckles, reaching over the counter to ruffle his hair. Charlie ducks away, swatting at his hand.
“Alright, well. You better scram, kid,” he reaches under the counter again, this time producing a gun. Charlie blinks. The haze in his head fades as he whirls around, spots five infected approaching. How did he not notice them getting so close?
“I’ll hold them off,” the man’s voice raises dangerously as he storms out of the bar with his gun, seizing Charlie’s collar and dragging him out with him, abandoning the bottle on the counter. He shoves him one way and fires the gun in the other, “go, kid. Go!”
Charlie stumbles, unsteady, but runs. He runs, ducking between infected and swerving around buildings and runs, fast as he can manage as they follow, running, groaning behind him, and he runs, and his foot catches a stone and he falls and he rolls and he-
//
When he comes to, the sun is rising.
He jolts upright in bed. He’s home. He’s safe.
His jacket is pristine. There’s new patches on the elbows. There are no scuffs on his armor. His legs are fine, his heart is beating regularly, nothing is sore.
Cradled in his hand is a green sippy cup, decorated with two and a half hearts on the side that glare up at him.
He swallows.
Was any of that real?
He turns it over. There’s nothing inside, though taped to the bottom is a messy, scrawled note.
Keep it, it reads. Signed with a simple, -J
#mcyt agere#froggy drabbles#raaaarararararrrrr....#i gotta finish the video....#idk how to trigger warn so lemme know if you think this needs somethin else#I DIDNT MOVE OVER MY TAGS FROM MY FIRST DRAFT OF THIS. so im doing it now. nobody will read them but it's important to me that theyre here#something about trying to be comforted but everything is awful and uneasy and no matter how hard you try you just. can’t.#not vent regression not play regression but a secret third thing#i was saving this interaction for somethin else but i’ll use it here skdkfjf
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Happy Easter if yall celebrate it!!!!! Otherwise I hope yall have an absolutely fantastic Sunday!!!!
Aaaa I feel like I'm not as chatty as I once was on here. Been a bit all over the place! Also feel silly making a ton of text posts with no art so I try and limit how often I blab on here.
But just know I still appreciate all of you who follow and like my art! Every bit of interaction I still see and it still baffles me to see such kind words. It means the absolute world to me!!!! 💖💖🌻
#plus Ive been drawing other things between wh art#but I know no one here would wanna see my original character art. Which is so okay im not lamenting that!#this blog was always meant for fandom stuff! but ya know. if im drawing other stuff it means my fandom art slows down slightly#still need to get back in the groove with drawing Dandy#really hard not to feel discourage ever since dealing with them being used without my permission (Which has already been long since handled)#but I havent shaken off that upset I felt. Made me all tol hesitant to even post Dandy anymore.#course also kinda put a damper on my fun#OH IM RAMBLING! venting??? this isnt about that#shaking my head and clearing clouds!!! anyway! needless to say im trying. i hope you guys dont mind being patient with me#happy easter!#or uh happy sunday!!!! if you dont celebrate!#OH AND HAPPY TRANS DAY OF VISIBILITY!!!!!!#Wow my tag rambles are all OVER THE PLACE#text post#just rambling#ill shut up now 💖
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MIKE BLOCKED ME ON TWITTER FOR ROASTING HIS DUMBASS RESPONSE TO THE GRAPHIC NOVEL STUFF!!
grown ass man scared of the 19-year-old queer being mean to him over his public meltdown more at 8.
#ramblez#little white boy sad? U sad bc nobody likes you? Bc u constantly make a fool of urself and show off ur distaste for ur fans? lmao#this is one of the greatest things to ever happen to me imagine how mad he'll be when he finds out the fangame Im making has queers in it#hes gonna have a whole other white boy meltdown on main KJSNFDGKJHFGKJHGKJHSDFGSD#hes so fucking sensitive maybe just get off of social media Mike this never ends well for you#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#and look Im joking around about this but it really is sad that the bendy devs cant handle this kind of critique towards their decisions#it seems despite the backlash once again they are choosing to ignore their fans which is yknow upsetting#But hey ig if the devs being awful was a dealbreaker for this fandom I wouldve left a long time ago and I havent#dw Im not going anywhere <3#also if anyone else here was also criticizing Mike maybe check his acct to make sure ur not blocked now since apparently#old habits die hard and this is certainly a pattern with him KJHDSFKGJHSDKFGJHDFGSD#also look before anyone asks yes I was kinda mean to him over this but to put bluntly if hes gonna be this dismissive to his fans concerns#he deserves it. Theres this persistent attitude esp in bendy fanspaces of being defensive of the devs#and I dont know why they have been extremely horrible people every single chance they get#and its very hurtful to see how many people would rather tell me to be kinder to the people who broke the heart of a child me when they#dismissed any ideas of putting queers like me in their stories than to realize Mike n Meatly bring this bad attention to themselves#to put bluntly I dont owe them kindness not until they at least apologize for the shit they did which they still havent#mike hasnt even addressed his vent poem in the code of BATDR let alone the other shit he said n did#so no I will not be kind to him ever hope this helps!
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#yttd maple#ask 2 tag#ive been having a very hard time with my art lately (then again art has always been tough)#so this was drawn as a stress relief + freedom to do what i wanted to draw with no rules or limitaitons or references#and i decided maple bc well depsite her being on myblogf i havent drawn her mcuh havi#sorry my wife#it isnt as a vent or anything just a concept#but at least i got some art finished#im glad for that#its just been everyutiome i open up firelaappca i do a stroke nad some things here and there#but then it just ends up with me despising my style my limited skills and the fact i cant reach what i want#which obv isnt healthy i love art#but ah. ive ranted abt it enough#i swearill terry to develop a healthier midnset soon <3#for now take !#gogogo
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i just rememberd adhd meds exist and now im upset because i could have that if it wasn't for that freakin neurologyst we went to see that told us it was impossible that i could have adhd because i have good grades in school. literally the ONLY question he asked me and immediately said it was impossible. we spent like 5 minutes there. he could've at least... explained something???? anything?????? and now i'd feel bad about asking my parents to see another neurologist because that costs a lot of money :((
#now im just unable to concentrate on anything and feeling very worthless#ok gonna start rambling here a bit#vent? ->#i'm just not good at anything except drawing. everything is hard and i don't think i'm capable of getting a job and contributing to society#in any way except drawing. my self worth is being held almost entirely by my ability to draw.#but i'm also incredibly slow and unproductive and it's so hard sitting down and starting a drawing and finishing that drawing#drawing is the thing that makes me feel alive and feel good about myself so when i can't draw i just feel really awful#i just wish i could concentrate and work and be productive man. why do i have so much stuff going on in my brain. why is everything so hard#sadge 😔😔#ok gonna try to draw i hope something cool comes out or i'm throwing my computer out the window and playing videogames#oh also another neurologist once told me depression can't be caused by school#i'm pretty sure it can but idk im not a doctor#what is up with these neurologists man#i know it's gonna get better tho. life might suck but i *am* a teenager and it's only gonna go up from here.#im still learning about myself and stuff. also no school next year that's gonna be awesome#don't wanna end on a sad note bc life is good actually#and i'm fucking amazing at drawing
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I greatly respect every single person who can have multiple well-written, multifaceted, lore-heavy OCs because that shit is hard fr. If I try thinking seriously for more than 2 minutes I get sad and a headache. y'all are some real ones
#lighthearted post im not venting here BSKANSJSJ#this is because. im trying to make more wizard ocs. i came up with their names JKFAKAKAJAJ#i look at other peoples ocs bios and im like “WOW!!!! i wish i could think like that :D”#IDK WHY THIS IS SO HARD is this like a universal struggle or am i alone in this#other than general appearances and a few facts thats all my ocs have to them JAKSBDLEKE theyre empty husks#do other people struggle making ocs and plots or is that just me being dumdum /j /lh#ANYWAY. this post isnt important but ne prepared for new characters from me. they will surely be Things#I GOTTA PRACTICE DRAWING AGAIN TOO SO I CAN DRAW THEM. OR GET MONEY SO I CAN COMMISSION#wizard101#w101#wiz101#text posts
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Me, watching other people get to rant and talk endlessly about their hyperfixations to people that are actually interested and even ask questions:
#im so jealous :’)#saw#tagging bc this is it for me rn#dont have friends that share my fixations#but my head is FUCKING EXPLODING#with thoughts and ideas and whole ass fucking essays!!!#i guess thats another reason why i started to write fanfic again#the hope that someone likes it enough they want to talk to me about it#:’)#and if anyone sees this and wants to talk#im absolutely here for it#you might even get some art out of it hahaha#venting#wish my anxiety wasnt stopping me so hard from approaching others
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Hey guys guess who has an infected tooth and is DYING of pain lmao
#actually not lmao at all#like#heres the thing i went to the dentist for the first time in my life just like. three weeks ago#and he basically told me he'll have to send me somewhere else bc the tooth was too complicated (i think its called a root canal in english)#and ive been taking meds for the pain (ibuprofen to be exact) and holy shit i am Scared#like my biggest fear in life is being addicted to hard substances and i KNOW its stupid but im just scared#ive been taking them for like a week bc the pain was/is truly so uncomfortable and just horrible#and i cant go to an appointment bc my mom just went herself and shes dealing with mouh pain too. its just. not a fun time#but if anyone dealt with this before and could give me some home relief tips id be grateful#i washed my teeth like 4 times a day just today holy hell it hurts#vent#not dc
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ai is just so fucking bleak man it makes me want to end it all...
taking everything joyful about life... everything i ever wanted or loved or hoped for... and not just that, everything else too... no job is safe... the only way i can go on is to pretend it doesnt exist and just keep creating and trying as we always have done it haha but meanwhile it just keeps getting worse and im filled with sickening dread... the only hope I have is that people will continue to stick together and protect each other even as ai tries to destroy and take everything from us and our identity and our joy sorry to sound poetic and pretentious but i just need to get the vent out. its bleak man.
#im being vague bc im embarrassed to specify more but it just... the future seems so bleak bc of ai#and... this is just one small thing#everything about the current world and the future looks bleak to me#the only way i can keep going on is if i pretend everything is fine and the same as how it was#but the fact that i can even manage to do that shows my immense privilege#vent#delete later#sidenote i havent been glazing or art shielding my art (i never tried glaze)#because i just... i give up man. like im in denial. i want to just pretend like i can post it like normal and itll be ok#i want to blindly trust#its the same w me posting my art and blindly trusting that ppl wont repost#except ai is much worse than reposting....#ha... the only meager protection ive been doing#is watermarking but not even obtrusively#and posting at a lower res (but ive been posting higher res on here...)#hhaaa... i want ppl to be able to see my hard work and tbe colors#and artshield makes tbe colors ugly#cries#unrelated but i feel like ive been estranged from my friends lately too#so thats prob also contributing to why i feel so sad#im too old to be having a tantrum like this but isnt this what blogs like tumblr r for? so i can vent here instead of irl... ha ha
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Ooc:
Hi I am so sorry that I haven't been active recently I'm trying my hardest to keep this account going because all the nice messages and seeing people interact makes my day but it's getting harder and harder to post consistently.
We are coming up to this account being a year old and with the rest of the emotional mercs to I appreciate every one of you and the support you have given to all the accounts despite the ups and downs the active and inactive.
I try my best to keep this account running but I apologize for the consistent inactivity.
#demos emotional support#team fortress#team fortress 2#tf2#team fortress two#im sorry for all the inactivity i try my best but sometimes its really hard so i appreciate you all being around#sometimes i feel like i should just ditch this account however you lot make it all worth it worth keeping this account going despite the ga#sorry for the small vent here i just feel like i should apologize for the inconsistency here
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please take as much time as you need to rest and recover. burn out is so hard and takes so much to heal from. your art and your supporters will still be here when you get back :) take care <3
Thank you very much
Unfortunately, my situation doesn't really allow me to take the time I need. I've got a ~two month hiatus scheduled for my midseason, but much like my first hiatus I'll most likely be working double time during it...
It's unfortunate because I could really really use a bigger break!
Having the time and flexibility to work on other projects really fires me up and keeps me going, and being able to take a guilt free day off for family and friends is necessary to my mental health, and I've been having to turn people down lately...
This is a very kind message, and I'm sorry to vent in response! But I just feel transparency about the pressure I'm under is necessary and important. I'd love to take the time I really need, but due to deadlines and that pesky "needing money to live" I can't.
But, once the series is over I intend to take a pretty big break before I start whatever I'm doing next! I've got so many short stories and projects planned that I want so badly to get to, I can't wait to really get to truly dive in to them!
#im so sorry to take a nice message and respond like this! but just... trust me haha i know my supporters are genuinely here for me <3#but webtoon... not so much unfortunately. i mean im sure i could take a longer break but theres the looming anxiety#that ill get in trouble or itll ruin my chances of working with them again etc etc#i took this week and i genuinely took it off. sort of? i flew to a convention which was exhausting#and i did paintings that i hope to print eventually#and i. started planning and prepping for a Kickstarter. for time and time again...#so ive still been working the whole time. but i love working!#i just... like to be able to work on things OTHER than time and time again...#and unfortunately for a few months. more than a few months. i haven't been able to do anything outside of it.#even all of my paintings have been for it cause i cant afford to switch my mindset!#my first hiatus i moved. worked on a pitch for my next series. and then i made two episodes a week the entire time#and i still ran out of episodes...#i dont know if im just not fast enough or if something is wrong with my brain that i have to fight to get it to focus but.#yeah i mean ive been burned out! been really burned out for like a year now#i can tell by how much better i feel after literally 1 week of doing anything else#and how tired i feel explaining this and knowing ive got another 3 months before i get another break#ok sorry i vented a lot more in the tags. it's hard to explain all of this eloquently and i like my posts to be somewhat professional#asks#anon#vent#delete later#and also how often my brain keeps wanting me to like. beg for 'nice words' from other people#(i always stop myself from asking people for compliments and stuff because otherwise i get very carried away and do it too regularly)#(people are very nice to me all the time. the kindness is endless and i need to let myself recognize and appreciate it rather than seek more#(its sort of a mental health thing I've been trying to like... force myself to do)#(for myself and my longevity but also for others sake lol. ive been bad about it in the past)
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coughs loudly. scheduling this post for slightly later today so i have time to get lunch and not chicken out before it goes up
firstly i gotta apologise for dropping off the face of the earth. in hindsight it was creeping up on me for a long time I just didn't think anything of it/had enough stuff going on to ignore it for a while, but ive been wrestling with pretty abysmal mental health that just kinda hit me like a truck back in august. i wont get too much into it but things just ground to a halt and in the span of a week or so it legitimately felt like i stopped being a Person- i just stagnated, felt like i lost the ability and will to do anything or enjoy things or create like i used to, all my energy went into keeping it together in front of my family, and it made me way too anxious and ashamed and guilty to want to show my face. like who would want to put up with my stupid bullshit, right (wrong! that idea just made me unbelievably worse and i regret it extremely, but my anxiety was going extremely unchecked at this time). i don't think i've ever been that depressed before and i didn't at all know how to handle it or begin to claw my way out
fortunately, a combination of getting exercise + touching grass regularly and new enrichment/hyperfixations to latch onto like an orphaned duckling are very recently kicking some life back into me so to speak. who wouldve thought. and now where i used to still feel stomach-turning dread and paranoia thinking about getting back on tumblr and discord a week or two ago, it finally feels like i can handle dipping my toes back in. i'm making this post first bc i know most of my friends will see it, and that feels less taxing than explaining myself a bunch of different times over and over and dragging it out, but ofc i will try and get back into conversation when and as i can (askbox and discord is still best to reach me if you wanted). i'm just really sorry, and I hope you can forgive me, for making you worry or otherwise
i'm not sure what to do from here (i'm considering maybe moving main blogs to a clean slate eventually? this one will still be here i couldnt bear to get rid of it, i've just had it since i was 16 there's Baggage attached) but i'll be trying to ease my way back into relative normalcy before doing anything big ofc. in the meantime i will be vaguely floating around here again. see you around and thank you for your time..
#cryingcat.png#god i hope tumblr doesnt send out a stupid notifcation to all followers that i posted i dont know what the time limit for that is but augha#here i am tho either way#vent/#i have missed people the entire time it is very hard to describe how stupid and cowardly it feels knowing i Could come back at any time#but also being utterly paralysed and afraid to do so. like surely i could just suck it up and i Tried but i am so so mentally unwell#i need to work on how fucked up my freeze/flight response to stress is really bad it ruins my life but i am still too unemployd for therapy#so my broke ass just has to deal with unpacking my own shit for 2 months/j#anyway the point is even tho i am getting better somewhat irl ive still been struggling to pluck up the courage to come back online#but i can't keep it up forever and completely shut down just bc it makes my anxiety superficially feel 'safer'#so here i am. feeling slightly less full of dread. bc i at very least owe it to everyone to let you all know im not dead or something idk#and i also owe it to myself to not be miserable on purpose forever!!#now i just have to get everything unmuted and wait for this to post see you on the other side
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in my hater era
#sophie speaks#tw vent#like. what. what???#i do try not to upset anyone with trauma dumping or whatever but sometimes that bites me in the ass because people assume I'm not strugglin#struggling hugely#had one of my most violent meltdowns ever recently and it was after pushing myself to do something#and you know. thats on me#but saying like#im NOT trying??#i dont want to start any problems but oh my GOD what do you think being sick constantly does to a person#what???#trying to be a proper adult here but i am quite upset#idk how are you supposed to deal with shit like this#express this has upset you and that you are having a hard time#but then they dont believe you??#trauma dump it is. hope you enjoy my psychiatrists notes#like im level 2 support needs autistic. i need a little fucking leeway or i genuinely try to kill myself#i KNOW its pathetic i KNOW its weak but my number one priority is keep myself alive#im so tired#ive been suicidal for like 7 years now#my life sucks so incredibly hard and I'm in constant pain and that just#it doesnt make me willing to deal with this shit#cripplepunk core lmao#cripple and im going to kill you#this is just geniunely upsetting#i feel like i need a good cry#i really am so tired#i feel like i just dont want to do this#why am i paying for this? why am i doing this?#if im not enjoying this why the fuck would i do it
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