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theunconcernedembalmer · 3 years

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how do u handle ur social anxiety? ive been struggling a lot with it lately to the point ive sorta been breaking down and what better way for advice than to ask someone that comforts u (mun[?] too)

Mun... might have something more useful for you.

aesops way of coping is probably avoidance but we all know that aint the best way aha. anyway this was one ask i could not stop thinking about because i read it n went (john mulaney voice) Huh my anxiety never got so bad till a break down, n then it happened to me a few days later. i do find this funny yes

anyway, the most useful thing ive learnt to handle my social anxiety (not entirely tho but its a good start) is to identify which trains of thought is Social Anxiety tm speaking so u can immediately know those r lies. stuff like Oh they’re laughing at me just as I walk by, they’re laughing at me, or Someone else is here, they probably hate me, I should go somewhere else but I cant, aaaaaaaaaaaaa

(if im not wrong,) usually theyre statements that are along the lines of “they hate you” or “you’re wrong”, n they’re based off an irrational fear of others that can be countered using evidence or, well, logic and rationale. things like “No one is keeping a checklist of your mistakes, you’re literally the only one doing that and scrutinizing each one of them, others dont care so much about these things.” (ive found this to be a very good counterargument to use for a lot of situations so im bolding it) or “You wouldn’t think that if someone else messes up, it should be the same for them. And if they say it isnt a big deal, it probably isnt”. for me i usually keep repeating these more logical explanations n counterarguments to myself to kinda quell the social anxiety voice for a bit. i know there are cases that it doesnt work 100%, but its a good start

n if ur also like me who avoids eating/ getting food cos theres human interaction involved, i kinda try to get my friends to drag me out whenever possible. no shame, even a simple “hey lets drop by the convenience store later so i can grab a snack” is better than starving for like. a day or so. its also cos of this whenever i plan my schedule for the day, i see if i can plan it such that its convenient for me to get food for both lunch and dinner (sorry im not one for breakfast aha). n also i find that if i dont like the food (sorry im a very picky eater), i would rather starve than eat, so now im willing to pay a bit more for food i like n will eat

or just having someone else to talk to about these kinds of things, and kinda having a second opinion of “was that weird of me” or “should i have done that” with someone (ppl give advice better to others than to themselves aha) really helps, i think. u could probably also ask for advice maybe (like this? XD) ((after i had a small meltdown that day i went to my boyfriend’s to complain for an hour n honestly that helped me to release a lot of distressed energy n its better than stewing in it for the rest of the day + i got some advice that i slowly worked on when i was feeling up to it enough))

im also still kinda bad at small talk with strangers, especially ppl whom i just met. i find a small trick to this (that again does not work all the time) is to try to find a relevant topic (background is also fine i guess, depends on context), n as they answer find something about their answer that u can branch off into another topic. it could be a personal anecdote that is remotely related to that topic, it just gives u things to talk about aha (eg someone saw me drawing n commented that one of their friends also draws, n i started talking about how i used to get really bad grades in art class. which wasnt quite the topic but it worked). n when ur ending ur turn to talk, try to have something that the other person can comment on/ answer. having said that, this is hard if the other person is equally awkward/ doesnt give u much to branch off on from their replies (i mean they really only answer your question n rarely elaborates unless prompted. eg “what did you have for lunch?” “pasta.” “oh, what kind?” “carbonara.”). then i say its only as awkward as u make it to be, perhaps u would be better off kinda just sitting together in silence. its not weird unless u make it, n not every moment has to be filled with conversation.

thank u so much for this ask by the way, social anxiety is a huge bitch to have n it sucks extra much that a lot of our fears seem incredibly stupid from a “normal” point of view n we are constantly on edge even if we seem 101% fine cos we’re not fine aha. but just know ur not alone in this, n i hope some of these might have helped.

i guess i should put some sort of disclaimer here, these r just some of my own personal problems n the solutions i have are mostly for me (maybe except for countering the thoughts), so i understand if they might not work for others. so i kinda recommend just sitting down, identifying which aspects social anxiety is affecting n finding a solution that works for u is kinda the best. try out different methods, if they dont work thats alright, if it does then thats great. it takes a lot of time, admittedly i starved myself for a couple of semesters before i found this solution for myself. it also take a lot of constant effort to counter, n to that i wish u all the best, n good luck in finding methods that work for u <3

#aesop carl #identity v #identity v embalmer #identity v the embalmer #identity v ask blog #its me the mun #mun rambles #unconcerned ramblings #OKAY SO LIKE I DIDNT REALIZE I USED THE WRONG COLOUR FOR HIS SKIN SO HE LOOKS LIKE DEATH #OR MORE LIKE DEATH THAN USUAL #SO JUST IGNORE THAT #holy shit i am so out of it today. i hope my explanations make sense tho #i have never seen a professional before except my bf who keeps telling me that i have to do something about htis #so have some. idk homemade remedies

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fox-steward · 3 years

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hi. i hope you don't mind me asking this but i need some advice.

i was born female, and ive always been a tomboy, sometimes in the most stereotypical way. i was also a little lesbian who didn't know it yet. but after my younger sibling came out to me as trans, i started second guessing everything about myself.

for the sake of my sibling, who im closer to than anyone in my life, i learned about what theyre going through to support them and ended up getting taken in myself. i consumed all the yaoi and gay fanfiction they did, i read up on all the identities that were within the trans umbrella and eventually i started to think i wasnt a girl at all, but my infact a feminine transboy.

i never was able to transition on account of my family but the growing inner hate i felt for myself made me want to because deep down I knew that no matterr what i said or believed, id never be the cis gay boys i, essentially, fetishised and craved to be. it made me miserable, but i wanted to be accepted so badly that i stuck with it. but then i fou d your blog and others like it, and reading through it, whole reevaluating myself made me realise how misguided my mindset was.

despite realising that me being a tomboy is perfectly fine, i cant help but cling to that idea of being a boy, even though i have no idea what it means to "be a boy" or "feel like a boy". all i know is what the media portrays boys, feminine boys and gay boys to be like, and i clung to that idea for so long that i believed it to be my identity.

i just wanted to ask, if i can, how can i get over this mindset? i feel terrible because my younger sibling still identifies as trans without a shadow of a doubt, and my questioning of myself makes me feel awful, but i also feel bad because... i dont know who i am really now. how can i just be me again?

sorry this is long. any advice would be very very much appreciated.

it sounds like you’ve been through it, anon. whew! i just wanna acknowledge what a mindfuck you’ve been through, and it’s normal to feel no so great.

i actually think you’re grieving, strange as that sounds, but hear me out. being female is not easy, being a masculine woman comes with its own set of challenges, and imagining yourself as a “gay transboy” was an escape from all that. you could imagine a future for yourself where you grew up to be a gay man, not a gay woman. it’s worth noting relationships between men are the only sexual/romantic pairing that isn’t party to misogyny within the relationship itself.

it’s intoxicating to imagine we could have that ourselves, huh? it happened to me too, and i’m not even actually attracted to males at all, i was really just seduced by the idea of a relationship of equals.

but this. is. a. fantasy. one we as female people can never achieve.

so you’re grieving the vision you had for your future. your grief doesn’t care that the thing you promised yourself is impossible.

you’re undergoing another shift in the way you see yourself, the way you imagine yourself moving through the world. that’s hard, anon. being a tomboy, while absolutely lovely and perfectly fine, can be really difficult in our misogynistic society. it’s like that dworkin quote i’m about to butcher—something something absolutely excruciating to be fully aware of the misogyny all around us. you get the gist. and she’s right, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.

so idk, i don’t have any specific advice, but i do know a lot about grief. with grief, you gotta accept you’re gonna feel shitty for a while and absolve yourself of the responsibility of ~fEeLiNg HaPpY~ for now. i’m being flippant because happiness is a mirage anyway. we get pricks of joy, moments of brightness or laughter, flow and contentment, enjoyment, pleasure, and these fill in between other moments of discomfort or monotony or tedium or malaise or or or. and if we’re lucky we are aware when the good stuff is happening, so that we can pause and say, gee this is nice. and if you get enough of then and you’re aware enough as they’re happening, perhaps you can tie it up in a bow of hindsight and call it contentment.

tangent, sorry. practically, keep yourself busy and tire yourself the fuck out, tbh. when my wife left, i started just going and doing things, anything i didn’t actively NOT want to do. dancing, concerts, art class, bike ride, walk a friends dog, cooking class, sit in a field and listen to music.

just do anything. i know it’s hard during covid, but it isn’t so much WHAT you do but THAT you do. take the field example—you have to travel there (that kills time!) and maybe you walk or bike (that is physical activity) then you do the thing you planned to do (takes more time) and you have to travel home (more time and activity) then you have completed something you set out to do (an achievement/free endorphins).

i also took up running when she left (tire myself the fuck out) and that changed so much for me. with grief, rumination and sleeplessness plagued me; running took both those out of the equation. so my sleep improved, i got stronger and my cardiovascular fitness improved, i ate better, i got to see myself improve and achieve goals, got to build an identity separate from who i was in my marriage. so i cannot recommend running enough.

and as for identity, finding out “who you are”—identity is a trap. don’t cement yourself to any one thing because everything changes. don’t define yourself by externalities, just be open and curious about your inner life, your qualities (which are also able to change btw) and start to strengthen the ones you like, like training a muscle. i practice (literally practice) kindness and discipline, which are important qualities for how i see myself. i also practice at compassion and i like how these things make me feel and how i show up in the world when i’m practicing at them. what qualities will you train in yourself?

you’re not defined in relation to your sibling, btw, and they aren’t defined in relation to you. you can question transness while still loving them.

you’re gonna be just fine, anon. you have plenty of time. grieve the future you can’t have, even though it’s truly for the best, and cultivate a person in yourself you’re excited to be. good luck.

#detrans #detransition #radfem #radical feminism #transgender #gender critical #ftm #asked #answered #anonymous #anon

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valkavavaart · 4 years

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no one asked but i wanted to do all of this in one sitting lets go.. this is long im sorry

1. favourite character

jyushi, kuukou, ramuda.. i will not pick between them

2. least favourite character

jyuto.. also saburo but he’s growing on me

3. favourite division

nagoya, baby!

4. favourite buster bros member

legally adopting jiro.. thats my boy i love him

5. favourite mtc member

rioooOoOOoOOoOoOoOOo i dont care the other two but like id give my life for riooOoOOOo

6. favourite matenrou member

doppPOOoOOOoOOOoo but also dr jakurai jinguji if ur out there...

7. favourite fling posse member

r a m u d and a.. whos that

8. favourite character song

UMMM drops and moonlight shadow both slap...?

9. favourite rap battle

its gotta beeeeee battle battle battle? i dont rlly listen to them much i just think abt the art where ramuda and jakurai are like face to face except we KNOW ramuda is barely like 5′0″ and jakurai is a big tall 6′4″ish man so how are they this close is ramuda sitting on his knee?? is jakurai kneeling?? is ramuda on a box

10. favourite tdd member

again.. ramuda lmao.. like esp tdd ramuda his outfit is so cute hes just so tiny..

11. your otp

UMMMM i like getting into a lot of ships?? id say my favs are probably like.. gendice or riodice maybe?? and ichikuu.. rn im like rlly into hitoya/jakurai too i want those old men to hold hands (i wanna draw them but idk any good poses for old dudes who r also boyfriends)

12. your notp

anything involving saburo uMmMMmm.. im not rlly a fan of samatoki/ichiro & tdd era samatoki/ichiro ESPECIALLY rubs e the wrong way.. i also dont rlly like jyushi/hitoya or kuukou/hitoya they just rlly rub me the wrong way

13. how did you get hooked on hypmic

ok so on twitter all my friends and the artists i follow got rlly into fire emblem three houses and i didnt own a switch at the time but i was like "cool i'll like find a bunch of artists that draw this and i'll UHHH maybe get hyped for it idk" and one of the artists was riryou_ on twitter who was posting like mochi blyeth and i was like omg so cute... and they spoke abt like hypmic a bunch too and i was like "oh i vaguely know what hypmic is (based off of all the samatoki memes and sasara fanart i’d see), maybe i should get into it??" then they like posted jyushi and i was like "oh he looks so dumb i need to know more" and i HEARD jyushi and i was like "actually he's adorable and i love him!!" bc i have a soft spot for like.. crybaby chuunis, and then downloaded the game and was like "wtf!!! where is jyushi" and thats why im here..

14. a character you identify with

im not assigning myself a hypmic kin!!!!!!!!

but i’ll pick doppo bc 1. never trust a doppo kinnie and 2. i too need a therapist

15. favourite character design

KUUKOU was designed specifally to cater to me here is exactly why

-SHORT KING. (HES THE SECOND SHORTEST BOY?? WHAT THE FUCK??? HE’S TALLER THAN RAMUDA SO GOOD FOR HIM.. BUT YOU’RE TELLING ME SABURO THE FUCKING 14 YEAR OLD IS TALLER THAN MY BOY KUU!??!?!?!? SHORT KING!)

-his hair. i cant draw it but i like it

-hes like >:3 all the time

-he has?? fucking fangs

-cat boy energy

-the like contrast of him being a monk and then him also just being a little bastard.. love that

-i like his jacket

-his dumb fucking boots..

-he comfy

-radiates chaotic energy

-one of his eyes is usually like slightly squinted?? i dont know why he does that but i like it

-he wont hesitate.. bitch

-i forgot this was supposed to be like based on his design and went on a long ass ramble abt his personality but like sshhh you wont see that.. delete

-piercings... the big one looks like a stretcher? i like that

-his speakers that look like the dragon w the bell are cool

-again short king rowdy boy

-he has long eyelashes and wears eye makeup.. thats cute..

- >:3

16. a character you'd cosplay

again kuukou looks comfy but thats a lot of layers.. itd be rlly warm right..

id say maybe jiro! ichiro would be my next choice idk i like their jackets

17. a character you thought you'd like + 18. a character you thought you'd dislike

ok so i just put these together bc like actually.. before i got into hypmic when all i rlly knew was vague fanart of the characters and that jyushi is my man i did a tier list to like get my opinions on them down.. and sometimes i look back to it and im like.. AHAH...

as u can see i was on board for jyushi as soon as i got here... but i thought sasara and kuukou were rlly neat and like i figured i'd like ichiro bc mmm... but honestly im not that big on ichi SFGKHDLF...

meanwhile in the bottom tier... jakurai, jiro, dice, rosho, ramuda, hifumi... the irony that i actually rlly like all of them... rosho took a while to grow on me but he's really good.. meanwhile hifumi probably still isnt a character im like SUPER into but i do like him..

heres my current tier list tho LMAO

19. buster bros or mtc?

hnn.. its gonna have to be buster bros...

i like jiro and rio a lot and dont rlly care for the other 4 but like.. i think i like bb and their dynamic and find them more sympathetic than mtc lmaoo... like ichiro went through a lot for his bros..

samatoki also went through a lot for nemu but hes stinky as hell and i think he's stupid. but i will not write an essay on that.

20. fling posse or matenrou

fling posse BABYYYYYY i love those funky little lads.. i like matenrou a lot too but like fp just appeal to me a lot more and i rlly love their dynamic.. i could talk for days abt fp...

21. mtc or matenrou

matenrOUuUuuUUuUUuu again i do not care mtc aside from rio.. i dont rlly have strong thoughts on matenrou lol i like their friendship tho :)

22. favourite hypmic seiyuu

saito soma or takaya kuroda.. saito soma bc i generally love his voice and also he voices other favs of mine (yamaguchi hq, 2wink from enstars..) and takuya kuroda bc im literally a simp for kazuma kiryu from the yakuza series,

also ive been insulting samatoki so far but i actually like his va like the man has the range?? between voicing samatoki hypmic and leo enstars?? HELLO????

23. a song you didn't like

basically anything by mad trigger crew SBJFGKJHLDSF the only song i actively remember by them is whats my name.. i only play it for rio..

UMMM otherwise i guess like??? new star.. sucks bc i actually rlly like saburo's va but i feel like he doesnt rlly get the best parts/songs...? that being said i like songs w him in it so

24. a hypmic headcanon

ummmmmmm i cant think of anything lol snnzzz.. i saw the hc that ramuda was the one that like dyed jakurais hair and it was so cute..

25. favourite solo song

wasnt this already a question or can i not read.. whatever my brain is like gya gya gyaran gya gya gyaran bam gya gya gyaran bam gya gya gya gya gyaran bam

6. favourite mc name

they all fucking suck LOL

evil monk is very literal and i like that. i also like that 14th moon ties into jyushi's name and everything..

UHHH i guess doppo cause its literally just his name LMAOO and i think doppos a cute name

7. the most attractive character

i know i said that kuukou is designed to appeal specific to me but gentarou? pretty boy. love to see it thank you saito soma. also tdd era jakurai.. maybe its just cause i like the manga art a lot but... dr jakurai jinguji if ur out there

28. a kink

PARDON.

29. favourite life quote & 30. favourite rebuttal or punchline

i dont wanna give a serious answer to either of those so on a completely unrelated note, i think abt this a lot

#vivi yells

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angrylizardjacket · 5 years

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ask your destiny to dance [17] {Roger Taylor}

[masterpost]

It takes Roger exactly two weeks to realise he doesn’t know Ash nearly as well as he thought he did. There’s a lot to glean about a person from their room, and what they say, but not everything, not even close to everything.

“So I guess you’re working tomorrow?” Roger asks, leaning against the bar as Ash polishes a glass. It comes as a surprise when she makes a face, shaking her head. “We’re going on a pub crawl, if you wanna come along then.”

Ash takes her time before answering, hanging up the glass and pulling another from the rack before she finally speaks.

“I can’t, I’m busy, sorry.” And she sounds... uncomfortable about it. Roger’s never known her to be uncomfortable about anything that didn’t relate to her home life, and she can see the moment he jumps to that conclusion. “I’m going to Paris in the afternoon,” she says quickly, and Roger’s taken aback, “I don’t get home until late; train times, you know?”

“A day trip to Paris?” He asks, and Maureen leans over to Ash with a small smile.

“Is that where you go on those Saturdays? That’s cute, Ash, little routine trips to France.” She flicks Ash with the end of her tea towel, to which Ash smiles despite herself, blushing and flicking Maureen back.

“Oi, I’m just going to Paris, nothing cute about it. I’m allowed to have hobbies, you know.” She argued back, and Maureen snickered, smiling fondly at the ginger before she tucked her tea towel into her back pocket and went back to cutting lime wedges. “I’m going to The Louvre.” Ash explained to Roger, cheeks still faintly pink.

“The Louvre?” There was a surprise in his voice that Ash had expected, and when she looks up at him, she still seems a bit defensive.

“There’s free entry once per month; first Saturday at six.” She pauses, and when his expression brightens, hers falls and she feels like she’s said too much.

“Do you go every month?” He sounds delighted at the prospect, and Ash wants to defend herself, but then he says, “you shouldn’t be catching the train so late, it’s dark even at six, love, you must get home at like midnight; just let me drive you.”

“Rog, you don’t need to do that,” but her grin is more relieved than anything else, the tension leaving her shoulders as she goes back to her work, “you guys are going out tomorrow, and besides, it’s not like I’ve never done it before.”

“I can get on the piss with them any time; this only happens once a month.” And the way his words make Ash smile, quietly pleased, he’s already pretty sure it’s going to be worth it.

Things between them have been... weird. Good weird, sure, but that doesn’t make them less weird. They haven’t really had time for an actual date yet, they just sort of show up at each other’s homes and watch TV and make out whenever they don’t have work or rehearsals of a night. It’s been good, it’s felt safe.

When Ash sits on the curb outside of her dorm, she feels nervous more than anything else. It’s not a feeling she’s used to; she’s never been nervous around Roger before; it takes her probably too long to realise how much she wants this to go well. When he shows up, just after midday, he’s beaming from the second hand station wagon that he’d gotten since recording the album. There’s a map in the passenger seat.

“I’ve driven there before, but not for a while, you’re going to have to direct me.” He advises as she buckles her seat belt, putting her sketchbook and thermos by her feet and unfolding the map.

It’s a long drive, just over five hours, and Ash is nervous for about three of them, which is only compounded by getting lost twice, and eventually Roger pulls over.

“You’ve been tense since I showed up; what’s wrong?” He asks, and Ash sighs heavily, picking up her thermos and pouring herself a small cup of tea.

“I don’t exactly go blabbing about the fact that I make semi-frequent trips to Paris, alright?” Ash admits, and she takes a sip of her drink, looking out through the windshield. Roger’s not sure what that means, how to respond, and after a minute, she adds, “Freddie doesn’t even really know.” And she finishes the tea, putting the thermos back, and Roger’s still quiet. When she finally looks at him, his expression is fondly amused.

“You’ve made me feel all special.” It’s far too genuine to be a joke, and Ash lets herself smile back, rolling her eyes at him.

“Don’t let it go to your head.” She warned, and Roger’s smile sharpened as he pulled back onto the road.

“Too late.” But he reaches over to rest his hand on her knee as she opens the map up again, and her heart grows warm, her anxiety easing. They turn up the radio for the rest of the trip; Ash hums along to the songs she only knows the tune of without too much hassle, yet somehow can’t seem to actually sing a note to save her life. She finishes butchering Elton’s Crocodile Rock at the top of her lungs, and Roger’s sides hurt from laughing, and she’s grinning in a way that means she knows exactly how terrible she is and how much it amuses Roger.

“I have other skills.” She says dismissively, grinning with her nose in the air as the radio host announces another song, and instead of answering, Roger sings along to the radio like he’d written the melody himself. “Showoff.” Ash laughed, and Roger’s eyes crease as he grins.

“I don’t have other skills, I gotta make use of this one.” He replied, lightly, and Ash’s expression softened.

“Oh shut it, you’ve got at least two other skills, probably.” She played along with his joke, watching him as he sings along to the rock song blaring from the radio, and it’s relaxed and easy, and she finds herself wondering why she’d been so worried just a few hours before.

They hit Paris at a quarter to six, and grab some fast food before heading to the gallery. There’s people everywhere, and the line isn’t exactly short to get in, more than a few of them are uni students like them, looking to get in for free, and Ash says hi to a few; the fact that she goes here enough to know other people who do this regularly to is still something that baffles Roger a little. He’s worried she’s getting nervous again when she takes his hand - they’re not the sort of people who hold hands - but when he looks at her, her eyes are shinning and bright as she looks up at the building; she’s excited.

Ash goes quiet in the gallery, looking around with wide-eyed reverence at the works around them. They move past the entrance slowly; Ash gazes at the works with their plaques memorised, while Roger reads them, fingers laced with hers.

“Oh, hello.” Voice reverential, Ash greets a statue at the end of the hall like an old friend, and introduces Roger as such. “This is the Venus de Milo, she’s almost two thousand years old, god, look at that marble work, imagine how sharp it would have looked back then,” and then it’s like she’s opened a floodgate, and she’s tugging him along, rambling along the way about each piece they pass, little facts not on the plaques, things she can cite from the top of her head. Above everything, she’s passionate, pulling out of his grip to clutch her hands to her chest and looking up at headless sculpture of what Roger thinks is an angel, and what Ash clarifies to be The Winged Victory of Samothrace.

“Isn’t she beautiful?” Ash’s moon-eyed gaze was focused on the statue’s marble garments, but Roger’s only got eyes for her. When he doesn’t answer, she looks to him, catches the way he’s smiling at her, and she feels her cheeks heat up. “What?”

“You really love this stuff, don’t you?” It’s a sincere question, and it’s as if he can see her responses flit through her mind, sarcastic, dismissive, an eye roll, flippant, she passes them all, takes a moment to really look at him, taking her time to breathe in the whole situation before responding.

“More than anything.” It’s a sincere answer, and it catches him off-guard. Ash is many things, but unapologetically enthusiastic is not one Roger’s familiar with.

Turning on her heel, Ash leads further in to the gallery, but it’s finally hits him how much this means to her, this place, these works, bringing him here. They’d been together for barely a fortnight, but they both know it’s felt so much longer than that; she’d taken a gamble, bringing him, he has no doubt she’d have left him in London if she didn’t want him to come along, and something tightens in his chest.

He doesn’t dwell on it, he takes it in stride well enough, peppering her with questions along the way that she seems thrilled to answer. Tucking her arm into his, they make their way through the building, the babbling turning to banter easily as Roger provides his own commentary on each piece as they pass, which serves to make Ash laugh.

They get to a small painting on the top floor with a border that looks bigger than the picture itself, and Ash has gotten quiet again.

“Who’s this?” Roger asks, the two of them stepping close to get a closer look.

“The Lacemaker.” Ash sounds a little awed, and when he looks down at her, Roger sees how fondly she’s smiling at the little painting. “She’s my favourite.”

“’course she is, she’s like you.” Roger answers easily, and Ash makes a face, laughing a little self consciously.

“No she’s not, shut up.” She doesn’t sound like she believes him, a bit of a laugh in her words, but she’s resting her head against Roger’s shoulder and he wraps an arm around her.

“Same focus.” Roger muses, and when Ash looks to him, surprise and confusion on her face, he just grins. “When you sew, you’ve got the same look on your face, same focus.” He explains, and there’s something in Ash’s awed expression that he can’t place, and she pulls away from him too fast for him to really identify it.

She’s pretty sure she loves him.

It’s fucking terrifying.

She can’t look at him, stepping out of his grip as she feels tears well in her eyes as her emotions overwhelm her, not that it’s an uncommon occurrence, Ash has never set foot in an art gallery and not cried, but Roger didn’t need to know that. She’d really been doing well today, too. Usually she gets lost in the scope and detail of The Wedding at Cana, or even comes to obsess over the little details of The Lacemaker, but she’s also usually alone and can get away with it.

“That’s- Rog, that’s really sweet of you to say.” And he can hear in her voice that she’s trying not to believe him, that she can’t let herself believe him. And when she turns back, she’s wiping at her eyes, and he wants to try and comfort her, but she’s already walking past him briskly, leading to the next painting.

“There’s something I’ve... well, I’ve always wanted to try here.” He hears her say, voice firm as if she’s trying to move quickly past whatever the moment she’d just had was. She leads not to the painting, but to one of the weirdly low, backless sofas that are scattered around for people to view the paintings from. This one’s empty; Ash looks around for security, and seeing none, steps up onto it.

“And what’s that?” He asks with a smirk, the sofa giving her only about two inches of height on him. He doesn’t ask why she’d almost started crying, and for that she’s thankful. Instead, his hands come to rest on her hips, and he’s smiling at her in that way that sets her heart aflutter.

“Don’t ruin this.” She warns very quietly, amused smile on her lips, and Roger quirks an eyebrow.

“Ruin what?” He asks, shooting for innocent, a million different things running through his mind that could make her smile, but would definitely ruin the moment; he bites his tongue.

Ash cups his face in her hands, and she can’t help but laugh as she leans in to kiss him. It starts sweet and tender, her lips soft against his, but he wraps his arms around her, pulling her close and deepening the kiss. There’s people moving around them, most ignoring them, some stare, but neither of them seem to care. She tastes mostly like the tea she’d sculled in the car when they’d arrived, and she’s got a hand in his hair when he presses kisses from her jaw, trailing down her neck, and she laughs, a little giddy. He pulls back, if only to see her bright eyed and blushing.

“Let’s go home.” She says softly, and Roger’s never agreed to something so quickly, his heart elated to see Ash giggling and mischievous as they backtrack through the gallery, knowing that he and the art were the things that made her smile like that.

“I didn’t ruin it.” He sounds a little smug when he says it as they walk through the streets of Paris back to his car, and Ash glances at him out of the corner of her eye, snorting.

“I could see you holding yourself back from a one-liner about pinning masterpieces to walls or something like that; I appreciate your discretion.” She tells him, deadpan, and Roger gives her a self-satisfied grin.

“It certainly wasn’t easy.” He agrees, but she still reaches out and takes his hand. When they get to his car, he goes to head around to the driver’s side, but she pulls him back for a moment, pressing a kiss to his lips. After a moment, he’s got a hand on her hips, pressing her against the side of the car, and she sighs against his lips, her arms around his neck. Her legs slide open easily as she pulls him closer, letting him slide a knee between her thighs.

“Christ,” Roger breaks away from the kiss, murmuring the word against her neck as her nails graze his scalp.

“Thank you for today.” She whispers softly, and he can hear the smile in her words. He presses a kiss to her shoulder.

“Any time, love.” He steps back from her, enough to see her fond smile, and to give one in return, before he heads around to the driver’s side and they both get in the car.

It’s well past midnight by the time they get back, and Ash follows Roger up to his flat with a yawn, flinching as the door opens and Brian, Freddie, and John all greet them with a cheer, obviously taking a pit stop in the middle of their pub crawl.

“I was starting to sober up; the walk between the last pub and the next is directly smack bang in the middle of here.” Freddie claims with a surprising amount of confidence considering his words make no sense.

“No- this place is on the way to the next pub.” John corrects, and Ash has to giggle at the sight and sound of a drunk John Deacon. It never fails to amuse her, he’s surprisingly confident and well spoken.

“Yes! Deaky is right! You two can join us!” Freddie brandishes and subsequently spills on Brian, who’s sitting beside him.

“Go if you want, I’m knackered.” Ash yawns, giving Roger’s shoulder a nudge, moving past him to his room.

“Actually, I think I’m right, I’ve been driving for a while,” Roger says, making to follow Ash, only to hear Freddie boo loudly, and John call out after them.

“Where’d you guys go?” He asks, and Roger answers over his shoulder.

“Art gallery.” He answers, and he hears Ash snort from his bedroom.

“That’s... Rog, that’s surprisingly cute, didn’t know you had it in you.” Brian smiles at him, and Roger feels a little patronised by the pride in his flatmate’s voice. He flips Brian off, along with the rest of them, since John was grinning like the cat who got the cream and Freddie looked like he was three seconds away from actually ‘awe’ing.

“Did you kids have fun?” Freddie calls, sounding nothing so much like his own mother, wearing a shiteating grin, which only got wider as Roger told him to piss off, slamming the door once he got into his room.

Ash was standing by his bed, pulling off the shorts she’d been wearing all day, already wearing one of his shirts. Roger can hear the others on the other side of the door already laughing and talking about something else, all three of them trying to convince themselves to get up and move on to the next pub. She gives him an amused smile and Roger just rolls his eyes at his friends’ whole situation.

They don’t speak, though Ash’s yawn triggers one in Roger, and when he’s stripped down to his boxers, she’s waiting for him beneath the covers. When he kisses her, it’s a thank you for the day, and she hums a soft, contented noise against his lips. They’re too tired to even fool around, and Ash wraps her arm around him as he turns to lay on his side, pressing her chest to his back, pressing a kiss to his shoulder blade before they fall asleep.

the ususal suspects: @deakydickfanpage @hollyissuchahoe @laueecakee @smittyjaws @crystalshines2909 @i-am-sarah @legendsaresooftenwarnings @2ptonpt @benhardy24-7 @maiilovely @mickey-yr-a-goner @butter-times @heyyouitskay @tired-eyes-fairy-lights @yepimthatperson @missieluvsmurder @ironqueen98 @ceruleanrainblues @banhbao329 @fantasticchaoticwho @ko-kitty @seven-seas-of-hi @mimisfangirlfantasy @aadjuric @rogmobile @cardybenhardy @snacfu @perriwiinkle @the-strange-fan-girl @finite-incantatem-7 @tapetayloe @florencewelchismybiggod

#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x oc #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #bo rhap #borhap imagine #bohemian rhapsody imagine #queen #freddie mercury #brian may #john deacon #ask your destiny to dance fic #the angry lizard writes

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hysterialevi · 5 years

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Abraham - A RDR2 Fanfic

Fanfic summary [NO SPOILERS]: Lyle Morgan and his eleven-year-old son have a conversation about Beatrice’s death, only for the boy to witness a second one.

Warning(s): Mild language

Author’s note: Bear with me if not everything in this story is correct. I’m not entirely sure where Arthur’s originally from (all I’ve heard is that he’s from somewhere in the north), so I just made something up lol. Also, this fic will only be one part. Anyway, hope you enjoy :)

From Lyle’s POV

A FOREST SOMEWHERE IN MONTANA

SUMMER, 1874

Strollin’ through the tall, thick grass, I led my mount around the forest at a casual pace while my son sat on top, consumed by his journal as always. It was an hour or two before midday, and right now, there was a radiant blanket o’ sunshine bathing the entire forest, painting everything with a golden tint. It was beautiful, and I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of the day out here...but this feeling of annoyance just wouldn’t stop naggin’ me, and I knew exactly why.

I briefly glanced over my shoulder, peering at my son as he scribbled something down in the weathered pages of his journal.

A quick sigh escaped me.

I didn’t know who the hell Arthur got his interest in art from, or why Beatrice even bothered buying him that book, but that child just couldn’t seem to take his eyes away from it. Every time I came across the boy, he was always scratchin’ down some fantasy world of his, or creating images of a utopia I ain’t ever seen. It was pointless.

He spent more time daydreamin’ in that book than he did playing outside, or hunting, or fishing -- hell, he didn’t even know how to read -- and yet, Beatrice seemed perfectly content with it.

Or at least...she did.

Beatrice weren’t around no more. She was killed by bandits a few months ago. Robbed. Left on the side o’ the road for the crows to feed on. But Arthur didn’t know that. Sheriff told him it was a wild animal that took her. A wolf, to be exact. And he believed him.

I dragged a hand down my face, suddenly feelin’ exhausted just thinking about it.

Had I done the right thing, not tellin’ Arthur the truth about his own mother’s death, I wondered? I figured the kid didn’t need to know the morbid details, or even the entire truth, but I still felt like a piece of shit for not revealing the full story -- especially considering that them bandits who killed Beatrice...killed her ‘cause of me.

I had stolen something from them. Somethin’ valuable. And before it fell into their dirty hands, that “something” apparently belonged to a rich plantation owner who really wanted it back. Ended up gettin’ one of the bandits hanged, and left them thirsty for revenge. But they didn’t have the strength to go after the plantation owner. So, they came after me instead.

They chased me for quite a while. They chased me across the mountains, across the swamps, across the goddamned snow...until finally, they came to their senses and realized there were much better, more convenient ways of hurtin’ me. And thus, their paths diverted to my wife and son.

Those bastards managed to corner her while she was ridin’ to town to do some shopping. Found her on some secluded road between here and the nearest settlement, and ensured she would never return. That was when Arthur went lookin’ for help to find his missing mother hours later, and the sheriff assured him a wolf had gotten to Beatrice.

Christ. I really was a terrible father, weren’t I? Not only did I pay more attention to a bottle o’ whiskey than my own wife, I had also neglected Arthur for years on end, and indirectly gotten his mother killed. And the boy was only eleven.

He had spent half of his life not knowing a damned thing about where his daddy was, or even what he did, only to lose the one parent he already had before he could find out.

Lord...there had to be some way to make this up to him.

I looked back at the boy, suddenly feeling an urge to say something -- anything -- to him.

“Arthur,” I called out, catching the kid’s attention as his head perked up from behind the journal’s pages, “put that damned book away for a moment, will you?”

The boy hurriedly marked his place in the journal with a pen and shut it closed, resting the object on the saddle’s surface as he hung his head low in shame.

“...Sorry, sir.” He murmured.

I shook my head, lettin’ out a concerned breath.

“You spend far too much time in that journal. It was a mistake to buy it.”

Arthur’s eyes wandered to the trees towering around us.

“I’m sorry, dad,” he apologized timidly. “But I like drawing.”

I scoffed. “Yeah? Well, I like Poker. But I ain’t got time to play it. Too busy worryin’ about survival, and keeping the both of us fed. You can’t always do what you want, Arthur. You gotta provide. Things like drawing, gambling...they’re frivolous. We got better things to worry about.”

The child quirked a brow. “Friv-uh-less...? What’s that mean?”

“It means we don’t need to do it,” I explained. “What we do need, however, is to eat. So put that journal away and keep an eye out for deer. You was the one who suggested we come out here in the first place.”

Arthur frowned in a discouraged manner. “Yes, sir.”

I gave him a stern nod. “Good boy. Now...you said you seen a big buck out here?”

The boy pointed ahead. “Yeah. It was by the river.”

I gave the reins a little tug, urging my horse to follow me. “Then that’s where we’ll start. C’mon, Boadicea.”

Continuing our little hunting trip, Arthur and I traveled deeper into the lively woods as creatures of all types scurried around us, rustling blades of grass and alerting the tiny insects that hovered above the plants.

There was a rather peaceful mood to the forest today -- a welcome change considerin’ how chaotic my life usually was -- and I had to admit: some part of me enjoyed being here with Arthur. I rarely ever got to see the boy because of my work as an outlaw, and when I did, he always seemed reluctant to leave the house. Whether that was because he was more of an indoors person, or simply ‘cause he weren’t eager to spend time with me -- I didn’t know. But it was good to be with him regardless.

Approaching the large river, I came to a temporary halt as I crouched down and examined the ground, carefully searchin’ for any tracks that could’ve possibly led us to the buck.

The area here appeared undisturbed -- save for the fish flopping in and out of the babbling water -- and as far as I could tell, there weren’t no deer running around this section of the forest. Not at the moment, anyway. Maybe they were at a different part of the river.

I took a closer look at the grass, only to be torn away from my thoughts when Arthur raised a question.

“Dad?” He asked softly. “Can I...can I ask you something? About momma?”

I paused, thrown off-guard by the sudden change in tone.

“Momma?” I repeated, slowly turning towards the boy. “Why you wanna talk about her?”

Arthur’s expression sank with sorrow.

“It’s just...you knew her better than I did. Or longer, I guess. And I don’t remember her that good. ...Do you?”

I gazed at him in a puzzled manner, admittedly still a bit taken aback by the abrupt question.

“...Clear as day,” I replied, unwilling to sift through the painful memories. “But that don’t matter. She’s...she ain’t coming back, Arthur. No one does, once they die. Ain’t no point in lingerin’ in the past when it can only haunt you. All we can do is move on. You understand?”

Clearly a bit hurt by my response, Arthur dropped the subject and averted his eyes from me, peering over at a nearby gathering of flowers instead.

He slouched despondently. “...I understand.”

That wasn’t good enough for me. I took a step towards him.

“Look at me when you say that, Arthur,” I demanded. “It’s important you look people in the eye when you speak to them.”

The boy brought his line of sight back to me, his face veiled behind a very subtle layer of fear.

He straightened his back a bit. “I understand.”

I nodded in approval. “Good. Now...let’s get back to huntin’ this buck. You sure it was around the river?”

Arthur gazed around. “I saw it this morning when I was playing with Copper,” he confirmed. “It was drinkin’ water right here. That’s when I came to get you.”

I observed the dirt underneath me, squinting my eyes as I searched for clues. The grass in these parts was quite thick, so that made it even tougher to spot fur, or dung -- and I still didn’t see any deer tracks -- but it certainly looked like another animal had been around here.

I kneeled down, shuffling the grass outta the way with my hand.

“It looks like some wild horses might’ve passed through this area,” I examined. “But no sign of deer. Oh, well...the day is still young, and we have some time, so we’ll keep looking.” I gestured to a nearby bridge. “Let’s try over there.”

Grabbing my horse’s reins, I continued to guide it through the woods as Arthur scouted the area for me, his big blue eyes scanning the sharp horizon while the sun escalated in the sky. There was a certain determination in his temperament now, and the longer we carried on trying to locate this buck, the more my son seemed to be enjoying himself.

Perhaps there was hope for us, after all.

“...Dad?” The boy called again, making me flick my eyes to the side. “What if there are wolves out here?”

I encouraged him to stay calm. “Now, don’t you go worryin’ about that. If we see wolves out here, we’ll be fine. We’re armed, we’re fast, and we’re smart.”

Arthur wasn’t convinced. “...Momma was smart.”

I sighed in a melancholic tone at that. “Yes...she was. But...Momma was killed by a different type of wolf.”

He tilted his head in a puzzled manner. “What d’you mean?”

I gestured to my rifle. “Not all wolves are the same, Arthur. Some use their teeth, some use their guns, and some use their tongue. You gotta be able to identify them when you see ‘em.”

The kid didn’t say it flat out, but I could tell he knew what I was really talkin’ about.

“Those sound more like people.” He replied. I let out a gentle chuckle.

“People can be worse than wolves, Arthur. In fact, I’d prefer a wolf over some o’ the people I’ve met.”

Arthur leaned forward in the saddle, his body swaying along with Boadicea’s steady speed.

“What kinda people have you met?”

I lowered my voice, thinking back to the bandits who killed Beatrice.

“Killers. Thieves. Deceivers. Men who will constantly betray each other even though they share the same motive: greed.”

I turned to Arthur with a remorseful look, hopin’ to do at least one right thing in my life, and use myself as a cautionary tale that money weren’t as clean as it seemed.

“...Greed,” I told him, “it breaks people, Arthur. They may not realize it, ‘cause greed can get you far in this world...but the reward ain’t worth it. Not compared to the things you have to sacrifice. In the end, you’ll have tons of cash, only to realize that there are luxuries not even millionaires can afford.”

His innocence took over. “Then why do they do it?”

That was a question I asked myself everyday. I shrugged in a disheartened fashion.

“Because they don’t care. So long as their pockets is heavy, and their bellies is full, they’ll keep on going. But like I said, greed poisons you. It kills you. And you won’t even notice until you’re already sittin’ in a grave. So promise me, Arthur, promise me that when you get to my age...you won’t become a wolf.”

Despite evidently bein’ a little confused, the child was able to make some sense of what I just said and agreed to the promise, reassuring me with a small smile.

“I promise.”

“Good boy,” I praised, bringing my mind back to the main reason we came out here. “Anyway, here’s the bridge. Why don’t you hop down and help me find this buck?”

“Okay.”

Sliding down the saddle, Arthur effortlessly climbed down and joined me, scurrying ‘round like a mouse while he searched for any signs of the buck. But so far, there was nothing in sight.

“See anything?” I checked. The boy shook his head.

I wiped some sweat off my brow, letting out a fatigued sigh. This animal was certainly proving to be a challenge to hunt down. We had already been in this forest for a couple hours now, and our efforts still hadn’t paid off. Part o’ me was almost starting to suspect if Arthur even saw a deer in the first place, and not some other kinda animal.

I decided to take a short break, and turned to ask the boy.

“You positive the buck was roamin’ around in these parts? Or that it was a buck at all? I haven’t seen any tracks so far.”

A soft rustle suddenly reached my ears, interrupting my conversation with Arthur as I reached for my gun, only to be stopped by a sound I didn’t expect.

It was a man’s voice.

“...Don’t even think about it,” the stranger warned, cocking his own gun. “I will shoot if necessary.”

Freezing at the intrusion, I remained perfectly still and didn’t utter a single word as a pair of footsteps steadily approached me from behind, followed by two more men coming in from the front on horseback.

They were all dressed in similar outfits donned with Nevada hats, and I couldn’t help but notice the star-shaped badges shimmerin’ blatantly on their chests.

Shit. These were lawmen. What the hell were they doin’ out here? I never expected the law to travel this far into the country. This was definitely odd.

What really puzzled me though, weren’t the fact that there were three lawmen just...waitin’ for us out here -- it was more the fact that Arthur didn’t seem phased by any of this in the slightest. Just what exactly was goin’ on?

Trotting closer to me, one of the mounted men glowered in my direction as he ordered his deputy to restrain me, his firm, steel eyes never wavering.

I recognized him instantly.

“...Sheriff Buchanan.” I muttered through gritted teeth.

He returned the greeting, scowling from under his hat’s rim.

“Lyle Morgan.”

I shrugged at him, unsure of what to make of the situation.

“What is this shit? What’s the sheriff doing all the way out here?”

Buchanan glanced at Arthur, standing in front of him in a protective manner.

“I told you I’d use every option I had to get you behind bars, Morgan...and I meant it. You made the choice not to heed my warning.”

Taking a second to process what he just told me, the realization suddenly hit me like a bullet to the gut as I stared at Arthur with a sense of immense betrayal, unable to believe what was happening.

There never was no goddamned buck.

Things was never gonna work out for me and Arthur.

This was all a trap.

My own...son...had turned me in.

He was the bait, and Buchanan was the true hunter.

I clenched my jaw in rage, doing my absolute best to shield my emotions as the deputy kicked me to my knees.

“...A-Arthur...?” I whispered, my voice trembling.

The boy looked me straight in the eye, standing adamantly beside Buchanan as his deputies tied me up. I threw a glare at the sheriff, damning him till my last moments.

“You bastard, Buchanan...!” I cursed. “You turned my own damned son against me...?!”

The man showed no guilt and tightened his grip on his rifle, silently advising me to stay back.

“No need,” Buchanan denied. “You drove him to me all by yourself.”

He placed a gentle hand on Arthur’s shoulder and guided him towards the second deputy, ordering them to bring him back to town.

“Clayton, bring the boy back to the office. We’ll figure out where to send him later. For now though, just keep him safe, and look after him.”

“Right away, Sheriff.”

Preparing both his horse and mine for departure, the deputy left Arthur next to the sheriff as the boy stood firmly in place, his innocent yet damaged gaze never leavin’ mine.

Despite the hint of remorse clouding the child’s eyes, it was pretty obvious Arthur felt he made the right decision in turning me in. And just as Buchanan’s second deputy started to drag me away, I couldn’t help but notice a beautiful Whitetail buck wanderin’ around in the distance, its majestic antlers standing out like a crown on a monarch’s head as it bathed in the golden sunlight.

The animal swayed its head in my direction, almost as if trying to communicate with me.

“I’m sorry, dad,” Arthur whispered as he walked towards Clayton, blocking the buck in the process. “...But you made me promise.”

Taking his leave, the boy finally mounted up and steadily trotted away from the scene, only to reveal an empty spot where the buck once stood as he left the forest.

Well...I may have found the buck like I planned, but it weren’t my job to kill it.

And it certainly weren’t my place to look for it.

I could hunt them down to my heart’s content, and kill ‘em all I wanted for my own desires...but in the end, they would always be able to afford the one luxury I’d never obtained.

Peace.

#red dead redemption #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #arthur morgan #lyle morgan #beatrice morgan #rdr2 fanfic #rdr2 story

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bootyprince999 · 6 years

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a conflict between a person's physical or assigned gender and the gender with which he/she/they identify. People with gender dysphoria may be very uncomfortable with the gender they were assigned, sometimes described as being uncomfortable with their body (particularly developments during puberty) or being uncomfortable with the expected roles of their assigned gender.Okay uh, sorry this has been rattling around in my brain for too long, and i already kNOW when some certain people read this they’ll probably spam me with reasons why i’m wrong but i can’t help but notice a trend in the people policing trans people and as a trans man i think i have to right to voice my opinion about it yes? no? Well it doesnt matter im doing it anyway.

(fair warning, if my wording is off or if sentences et confusing; the word im using is not the right definition, i apologize im just cranking this out and have a hard time with words getting mixed up anyways, gomen)

Alright so uh

I’m sure people who aren’t truscum have probably heard of truscum right? Trans-exclusionary feminists (usually) saying what trans people (predominantly trans MEN , this is important) must do/feel/think in order to really be trans. If they dont they get called transtrenders and cis women ‘crying out to feel important’

well alright theres lots to dissect here but just uh, its overwhelming at first glance. I mean, cis people telling trans people what to do in order to ‘really’ be trans is about at the same line of white people trying to tell really any poc how to be their race or something. Its asinine and just confusing?? I thought we were past this??

But most of these ‘truscum’ people are only really targeting trans-men. To say they’re targeting the trans community is a bit off because from what i’ve seen of them, (correct me if im wrong it’d make this even more interesting if they were harassing trans women too with their similar rhetoric) they’re creating terms for and attacking feminine presenting trans-men, calling them ‘tucutes’ (which im still fuzzy on the definition for mostly cause its just stupid) and also then again calling them just cis women trying to be cool or something. But i feel i should note not all truscum are just cis-women, some of them are trans-men as well which is surprising to me but also, with my experience as a trans-man im also kinda not surprised. I’ll get into that later.

So to start just, these ‘truscum’ people seem to have their main targets being trans-men but also nonbinary people as well, claiming that nb people are not trans and claiming that effeminate trans-men are not real men because men are not effeminate and to even be trans you have to have ‘dysphoria’ (which is technically right but, the definition truscum give is not really correct? pls stick with me on this ill explain) and how HRT makes you hyper masculine and so femm trans-men and nonbinary people should not try to or have any acess to it at all and it should be reserved for REAL trans men who wanna be very manly because HRT can and will only make u super masculine and theres absolutley no way you can use hormone therapy or reconstructive gender therapy to be androgynous as some nb people seek. (even though AMAB NB people haves used hormones to do this, and AFAB NB people have used hormones and surgery to do this as well. But you know, theyre really only attacking trans-men when they do this anyways so they probably dont know or care to know about that.)

Well lets sorta back track a second here on like, the basic definition of trans you get when u first tell kinda any doctor/counselor/therapist that you feel like youre a different gender. “Some trans people undergo hormone replacement or sexual reassignment surgery to help themselves align their bodies to their real gender, but some trans people don’t because they dont want to change their bodies and thats okay!” So yeah, even the oldschool mid ‘2010′ era definition doctors and people used made room for people who were okay with their bodies but still felt trans! Still felt like the classic “man trapped in a womans body” thing of whatever (even though thats a gross metaphor but you get my point)

So when did people suddenly decide that the definition was different? that trans people now should be uncomfortable and change their bodies otherwise their not trans? I don’t know when it started or why though i suspect with the few trans-men who are truscum it could have maybe started with things like this;

-the reddit term of transtrender coming up to invalidate trans people (again predominantly trans men) for their identity.

-the few trans people who do undergo transition and either through maybe doctors not giving them enough information and giving them a higher dose, their body not reacting to it well, or somehow getting acess to transitioning fast enough that they really were actually in a transitional period of their lives where perhaps they were feeling they were trans but were maybe going through something during that point in their lives, or perhaps the changes the HRT gave them were unsatisfying and they wanted something different. (This is usually pretty rare though considering most trans people have to undergo usually at least 4 years of waiting for any hormone treatment, which involves going through lots of doctors and therapists and having to really talk about how trans you are for years, and any sign of even being slightly loose in your definition of gender “i feel liek guys can like cute girl things too” can often get you pushed back for treatment. IDK where these people are getting fast acess to hormone treatment cause ive never found any)

- Trans-men who perhaps have internalized a lot of the toxic masculinity that can sometimes get pushed onto you trying to prove you’re enough of a man for people. Before the definition of truscum even exsisted i’ve had to deal with people like this face to face and it made me get a lot more aggresive standoffish and downright rude with people because i was just trying to act like what i thought men should act like. And given this was in my early teen years, what early teen males are fed of what men act like, i was a fucking nightmare yeah. I’ve seen some transmen who sorta internalize this stuff and get the woman-hating too, I had a time sort of in middleschool era where i was really gross about girls and their bodies and just, I can totally see transguys maybe buying into an idea of hating on feminine guys the same way cis guys hate on femm cis guys.

-the above could also include cis women so just, in general people with internalized misogyny because again, this is all so targeted at calling DFAB people not good enough and not trans enough

So yeah, theres obviously been some people unhappy with people and sort of misunderstanding things about being trans. But to be fair, a lot of the definitions of things relatng to being trans, esp the ‘dys-’ words have been left pretty confusing. So lets try to go over them and maybe now i can clear up why these ‘truscum’ people are both somewhat correct in saying you need to have dysphoria to be trans, but also not really because they sort of have their terms wrong...

dysphoria:”a state of unease or generalized dissatisfaction with life.” -Google

dysmorphia/body dysmorphia: “the obsessive idea that some aspect of one's own body part or appearance is severely flawed and warrants exceptional measures to hide or fix their dysmorphic part on their person.” -Wikipedia

Gender dysphoria: “a conflict between a person's physical or assigned gender and the gender with which he/she/they identify. People with gender dysphoria may be very uncomfortable with the gender they were assigned, sometimes described as being uncomfortable with their body (particularly developments during puberty) or being uncomfortable with the expected roles of their assigned gender.” -Psychiatry.org

So, according to the main definition of Gender Dysphoria, it can encompass both the feelings of dissatisfaction and almost detachment to life of Dysphoria and the detachment and detest of Body Dysmorphia. Also to have Dysmorphia you sort of have Dysphoria inherently with the way your quality of life and enjoyment of your own goes down with the fact you cant change something thats such a part of your being. Dysphoria and Dysmorphia playing in art with one another is especially common with trans people. So I think that these ‘truscum’ people are sort of confusing the definition of Gender Dysphoria. Theyre implying and pushing that it’s all about the “being uncomfortable with their body” when its both that and the “being uncomfortable with the expected roles of their assigned gender.”

So by definition, to be trans you do have to have Dysphoria, or particularly Gender Dysphoria yes. BUT, Gender Dysphoria does NOT mean hating and wanting to change your body for lots of trans people! Not liking being reffered to as a certain gender, or partaking in the behaviors expected of it, clothes, activities, jobs, items, milestones, if you feel detached from it and like its really not you that by definition means you have Gender Dysphoria and so you are trans. And yes NB are trans, tons of them relate to the definition of Gender Dysphoria both the Dysphoria and Dysmorphia parts of them.

I also feel like adding that to say that trans men or trans women need to be aligning completely with the gender they identify with (as both truscum and some doctors still do), there are plenty of cis-gender people who feel that gender is a bit fluid and that cis-men and cis-women can have traits of the other and behave sort of in the middle. So for trans people to not be able to do the same, when trans men are and often feel in the same ways that these cis men do, and vice vera for trans women, its kind of transphobic man. You’re putting up unreasonable and downright unnesesary ideals for trans people to uphold to prove themselves that cis-people don’t even have to. If cis-people can have a looser idea on gender expression and can have diff gender expression (expressing/dressing in a different gender while still feeling like the gender you identify/are born with) then trans people should to.

Like me, i’m a trans men who has feminine gender expression! Truscum would probably call me a trender or a ‘tucute’ for that. But, I have hORRIBLE Body Dysmorphia because of my Gender Dysphoria. Have since i was like 11, And i want to undergo both top and bottom surgery to alleviate it all. So, hows that for “fem trans guys are just tucutes, you have to have dysphoria to be trans” I have it and im still fem bitch.

But yeah, i just keep seeing so much of this, even from people i used to consider friends and just, i wanted to put my 2 cents in on it. If you have Gender related Dysphoria or Dysmorphia, you’re gonna know about it best. And if you dont want to have to have the scary part of de-transitioning because medical transition wasn’t right for you because you identifying as one thing was wrong and you actually identify as something different, I reccomend maybe sitting on those feelings before doing anything for like 5-7 years. Sounds like a long time, but i mean from when you first start getting the feelings of Gender Dysphoria and Dysmorphia. It’s still honestly so rare for people to detransition though and feel like a whole diff gender, ppl usually detransition when they feel like their hormones are going further than they want (and then later fix their dose with their doctor) of to avoid public shaming and are still trans so yeah.

Hopefully no ones too upset with this (unless theyre a terf or truscum) but yeah, thats my word on it.

#trans #t/w #transphobia #dysphoria #truscum

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ssorethroat · 6 years

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bnha, 001 for the ask thing ??? yre one of my fave mutuals even though we've never talked but yre so cool and yr art is amazing and ; A ;

i OMG FIRST OF ALL I GASPED???? YOURE SO SWEET ; M ; i cant believe this .. im so sorry weve never talked before but i would love to start!!! you seem super cool and really kind and i looked for your art but i couldnt find any but u should link some …. ITD BE REALLY NICE TO SEE!!! TT v TT I HOPE I CAN GET TO KNOW YOU MORE THIS IS SO EXCITING IM SO HONORED.. ; M ; omg im making the text super small and putting it under a readmore bc this is SO LONGGNGJDFKNGKJFD

Favorite character: /shoves my entire deku shrine into closet while mumbling Uhhghudfgd oof i dunno .. IM JK ill be proud about it. the light of my life the joy of my heart is deku he tries so hard … it inspires me to try hard too … HAHAGDFJNGJKFD but i really do have a mini deku shrine in my dorm room i force my friends to say hello to my son before they enter. THATS WEIRD .. but im such a big sucker for the underdog story and i love the very .. long term take on the self sacrificing hero narrative where he literally just busts his bones out!!!! i like how he has to adapt his approach by dealing with realtime consequences for it!! i think it makes him a really interesting protagonist and i often dont find myself caring too much for the main protagonists like i do for him .. i love him :[

Least Favorite character: I MEANNNNN OK MINETA ASIDE BC I FEEL LIKE THATS A GIVEN… i dont really like monoma though i think its interesting what horikoshi did w him!! as in i just think hes annoying CRIES .. i dont think that means hes not a good character though ogdfnj WE’LL SEE!!

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): AHAGDKJNGJFKD ok .. i love todobakudeku n im just gonna say that or else the pairings inside that will take up 4 slots.. ooof i love erasermight … i love MOMOJIROUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU SO MUCH .. i also love iiocha … and miritama.. ; - ;

Character I find most attractive: OHHHHH OK …… OK ………. GENUINELY? i cant draw these ppl but i wish i could… Buckle yourself in but shouji mezo.. is like objectively so attractive like hes got the shark grin under the mask? the emo hair? hes after my heart … and? i love his personality its so strong and stoic .. shifty eyes .. ughhhggjnjn also .. blood king is SO hot. so is the dragon lady WHEWWW… ectoplasm is also like so hot i could die you know what if guillermo del toro could make his fish man have a butt that wont quit i can be in love with ectoplasm i want him to serenade me with all 36 of his clones

Character I would marry: OMG NOW THEYRE HITTING ME W THIS CHARA I WOULD MARRY QUESTION AFTER I JUST ADMITTED MY TASTE IS ALL OVER THE PLACE hmm i guess personality wise id want to marry momo actually shes so sweet and kind and CUTE she tries her best ; m ; ..

Character I would be best friends with: OMG I REALLY DONT KNOW im thinkin hard trying to compare my own best friends … on one hand? tokoyami and his mad banquet of darkness .. other hand? i feel like my friends are all as supportive and sweet as kirishima ..

a random thought: i really love TWICE as a character.. i think his backstory was the most interesting of the villains (that have been shown).

An unpopular opinion: AHHHHHH I HAVE A LOT!! BUT ILL SAY THIS (though idk if its unpopular) … i dont think the female characters are given good treatment NOT just costume wise. i think the only female character we’ve really gotten a fair amount of development (even approaching the level that male characters have gotten) of is uraraka and even then im kinda like ehhhhhhhh this isnt enough … horikoshi does a good job showing female characters in strong positions doing strong things BUT i dont think thats the same as treating them with the amt of depth they need, giving them complex story arcs, etc. i also dont care for them being used simply as devices for the character development of male characters if they arent given stories beyond that. i hope we get to see eri some more and maybe her recovery bc i think horikoshi portrays abuse well and the healing process for todoroki was realistic. the dialogue for chisakis emotional abuse was really realistic to the point of me freaking out a lil bit LMFAO… another unpopular opinion is that i kind of dont care about endeavor’s potential redemption arc too much either way, i just hope whatever happens is handled with nuance…

My Canon OTP: deku capturing the hearts of the nation

My Non-canon OTP: bakugou x cognitive behavioral therapyMost Badass Character: UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGNJFDGNJDF GANG ORCA. I ALSO CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT HIM I CHANGE EVERYTHING ABT MY ATTRACTIVE+MARRIED ANSWERS FIRST OF ALL, I WANNA GET PLOWED BY GANG ORCA, SECOND OF ALL, I WANNA MARRY HIM I would give my whole life to gang orca. My canon otp is me x gang orca

Most Epic Villain: AHAHAHAGHDFNGJKAGHAGAFJGNKJD I HATE TO BE LIKE THIS BUT mr compress? truly? iconique…. i also love rappa he just wants to fight and honestly? relatable…

Pairing I am not a fan of: hmmm … i dont really dedicate a lot of time to disliking pairings but i dont really ship non platonic kacchako i just dont really like it bc it reminds me of some tropes ive disliked in the past!! i also am not really a fan of stabi :/

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): (snarls) SHINSOU WAS ROBBED secondly more attention needs to be given to hatsume mei. she is literally a genius prodigy mastermind and yet shes given like 3 pages after her ICONIQUE SHOW STOPPING performance at the sports festival .. give us more …

Favourite Friendship: I LOOOOOOOOOVE THE MIDORIYA/URARAKA/IIDA TRIO!!!!!! I SAW SOMEONE I FOLLOW TAG THEM AS THE POWERPUFFS AND I LOVE THATTTTGNJDFKNGJKD I ALSO LOVE KIRIDEKUS FRIENDSHIP .. ; M ; and you know what? I think bakudeku is getting there .. i hope we can see them be good friends comfortable w each other !! AND IN LOVE!!

Character I most identify with: WELL actually believe it or not its todoroki LMFAOOGNJKGFD not bc im as sweet or nice or cute or amazing as him but just bc i Hashtag Relate to his emotional journey following parental abuse.. i guess if you dont factor that in i also am equally terrible with kids when i had a brief stint as a volunteer teacher they were always dragging me i guess not for the five pee pee thing so i guess it could be worse but. You know

Character I wish I could be: i wish i could be have my life together as much as aizawa does .. he always got his sleeping bag w him? he living in 3000017…

#veenis #asks

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punkcherries · 6 years

Text

get ready to rrrrrumble

jesus christ this is a long ass submission so uh puts it in a read more also puts my txt in bold so its easier to read 👍

Right, so I’ve just read everything that happened in the last few asks you got and I’m just gonna sit down and tell you this right now. You better strap the fuck in because this is long and if you’re not gonna read it, shame on you, because all of this is specifically about YOU and the problems people have with you (the people Blu mentioned). First off, I’m not Blu, so don’t go and start calling him names in your server because you’re finally, FINALLY, being called out on all the bullshit you do. I used to be your friend, I left on semi-good terms, and this entire thing is going to explain WHY I left + why you need to square the fuck up.

sounds like fun whoever u are

You need to get your shit together and seriously change yourself, but of course you’re not gonna do that, because you’re an incompetent piece of shit who has your head so far up your ass you can’t see all the things you do wrong. You act like you’re the person who suffers the most, and that anytime anyone is rude to you it’s THEIR fault, not the fact that you did something terrible to someone or that you started some drama. I’ve been fed up with this shit for months, and have been hesitant to say anything directly to your face, because you don’t even know me that well and we hardly talked. We did interact a few times, but those few times were absolute hell to me, because I must have literally retracted some kind of disease just from being near you. You are the fucking EMBODIMENT of tumblrina, and it’s so fucking sad because you weren’t like this before (based on what a few others have told me).

the use of tumblrina here is jus makin me laugh ur a funny guy buddy but i feel like my past self is worse thn my current self like past me participated in cringe culture so like ew

The way you talk? Absolutely fucking horrid. Sit the fuck up and talk like a normal goddamn human being. I’m here to talk to you, not to decipher some 57 commas and abhorrid shortening of words. Jesus fucking Christ Sombre, I can understand Internet slang and cutting some words up, but you fucking butcher the English language so bad it literally sounds like a toddler having a stroke while mashing at their keyboard. It’s “that” not “tht”, it’s “thing” not “thng”, it’s “something” not “smth”, and for GOD FUCKING SAKES IT’S “THE” NOT “TH”. ARE YOU LITERALLY SO FUCKING LAZY THAT YOU CAN’T EVEN TYPE “THE”, A THREE LETTER WORD. I don’t give a shit if you’re talking like this to sound like an anxious uwu tumblr piece of SHIT, it sounds fucking IDIOTIC and it’s an ABSO-FUCKING-LUTE PAIN TO READ.

language is fake and is mostly just sounds we give meaning, im very sorry if you have trouble reading the way i type and id be more than happy to try and not speak to you like i usually do to everyone else if you just asked politely and talked it out with me (tho the idiotic part is accurate im not very smart lmao)

SPEAKING OF YOUR TUMBLR, LET’S TALK ABOUT YOUR UPSET.TXT TAG. If you think anyone is gonna pity you, SPOILER ALERT! THEY’RE FUCKING NOT. Unless they’re your shitty “friends”, NOBODY fucking gives a shit, alrighty? Speaking from my perspective and a few others, nobody’s gonna see this venting on their dashboard and give two shits. Unless they’re your mutuals, they won’t care and it just leaves a bad impression. It’s pathetic how when ANYTHING negative happens to you, you decide to take to Tumblr to boo hoo crypost about it. You wanna vent? You wanna cry yourself to sleep? Cool, talk about it on your server, NOT FUCKING TUMBLR, WHERE LITERALLY ANYONE CAN SEE IT. This is just like how Facebook used to be, you see these posts of people posting personal shit and getting bit in the ass for it later, YEAH WELL THAT’S WHAT’S HAPPENING TO YOU RIGHT NOW BUDDY. DON’T LIKE IT? DON’T FUCKING VENT ON TUMBLR.

i rarely vent on here dude like?? do you see the time gaps between the posts in my vent tag? its also my blog so i can post whatever i like as long as im not hurting anyone yo, plus the point of venting for me at least isnt to like get attention or sympathy its to let off some steam not to mention most to all of my vent posts are vague as hell so like…. why do you even care though?? if i get bit in the ass then thats my problem not yours

Right, so let’s talk about your “im gay” tag too! You identify as male, correct? That’s cool! Congrats. But you’re not gay if you clearly show an interest in girls. Doesn’t matter if they’re fictional or not. Your “im gay” tag is filled with girls (Bismuth, some anime girl, pinup girls). NEWSFLASH ASSHOLE! You’re male, those are females! Opposite genders! That means you’re NOT GAY! WOAAAAAH! So who are you to be reblogging and posting all this shit about how hetero people are the devil, hetero people are the worst wah wah, when you yourself identify as a guy and clearly seem to be interested in girls, even if just a little?

dude i used to identify as nonbinary i only recently started identifying as male, hell i used to identify as female ages back so like? the posts in that tag are most to all old and i do realize my attraction to girls isnt gay, hence why ive only been referring to my attraction to dudes as me being gay post-male identification i guess

Speaking of all the heterophobic shit you reblog, have you not considered it could make some of your followers feel absolutely terrible? I’m bi myself, I like both guys and girls, but holy FUCK when I see that shit on your blog it makes me feel guilty for liking guys at all! Is that how you want people to feel? Whether they’re pan, bi, or straight, that shit’s literally so fucking damaging and it sure as hell hurts to see! And don’t throw that “some of those posts are jokes” bullshit at me, because guess the fuck what! They may be jokes to people who aren’t hetero, but they sure as hell don’t seem like jokes to those who are! How would you feel if I made a joke that was even SLIGHTLY negative towards homosexuals? Wait, no, don’t answer that, because I already know how you’d feel. You’d get pissy, you’d stomp your little baby feet over to Tumblr, and then crypost about it, saying you’re facing homophobia and being harassed blah blah blah.

HETEROPHOBIC IM LAUGHING…. buddy…. pal…. heterophobia is fake and im very sorry if those post make you feel bad as a bisexual person (im also bi so) but heterophobia isnt actually a thing, comparing jokes directed at straight people to lgbtphobia is inherently lgbtphobic as it compares little jokes most to all directed at bigoted/ignorant straights to something that can often result in the actual literal death of hundreds of people for their gender/orientation- that doesnt happen to straight people dude

Also: you don’t have autism. Were you officially diagnosed? Because I’m gonna be real fuckin’ honest, it doesn’t sound like you have autism. You sure have something, hoh yeah, but it’s sure as hell not autism. You put your “autism” up on a pedestal and act like it’s one of the only things about you, like no hunty, your mental illness doesn’t define you. Nobody gives a shit, okay? Your mental illness isn’t an excuse to act like a literal fuckface, it’s not an excuse to treat people like shit, and it sure as hell isn’t an excuse to blame everything on others and make yourself out to be the good guy because “my autism made me anxious or forget things ;w;”. This is the exact kind of tumblrina thing I’m talking about, people on this goddamn website act like their mental illness is the only quality about them and that not being neurotypical makes them special. NEWS-FUCKIN-FLASH, it doesn’t. It really doesn’t. You don’t see me using my mental illness as an excuse for my actions, because I actually step the fuck up and take responsibility for shit I’ve caused. My mental illness does not define me. There’s more to me than that. You need to realize that your fake-ass autism isn’t an excuse for you to be a fucking asshole to the people around you, and that your actions do have consequences. Stop blaming others for shit you’ve caused, stop calling people jackasses when it’s YOU who’s insulting people and twisting the truth, and for the love of God tell your white knights of friends to shut the FUCK up if they don’t know all the details of a situation.

i was technically diagnosed albeit in a nontraditional fashion (a psych at our middleschool was the one who diagnosed me) and i have never defined myself solely by my autism nor have i used it as an excuse for my fuck ups, ive literally apologized and stopped doing the things i did since the blu incident, i recognize i fucked up there and i apologized and i havent done the whole lying out of anxiety thing since, also my white knights of friends??? YOURE the one coming into MY inbox to tell me how shit i am after i blocked blu i literally just want this to be over leave me alone dude

Alright, so now that we’re done talking about YOU, let’s talk about your fandoms. You like Osomatsu-San. Okay, that’s fine. What’s not fine is how FUCKING obsessive you are about it. There’s nothing wrong with liking something and being attached to characters, making art of it, having a blog, reblogging it, talking about it, that’s okay. That’s okay! But you? You fucking hold the characters so close and act like they’re your own characters. You get upset when something doesn’t go your way in the show. This was evidenced by how many times you’ve complained about episodes (guess where? upset.txt) after they’ve come out. That anon about the straight joke? You got so heated over that, didn’t you? Saying Chibita was “out of character”, BITCH, what do you fucking know? He’s not your goddamn character! The writers will write him however the fuck they want. It’s THEIR fucking show, it’s THEIR fucking characters, and it’s THEIR decision of who does what and who acts like what. There’s a VERY thick line between canon and fanon, and you can’t seem to distinguish that AT ALL. You merge your shitty headcanons with the canon universe, and when something doesn’t go your way, you FREAK THE FUCK OUT and go crying about it in your server or on your tags.

youre blowing that ONE FUCKING POST so out of proportion ive never complained abt ososan in upset.txt outside of MAYBE episode 4 and that would be because of the NONCONSENSUAL SEX SCENE i KNOW my headcanons arent canon i KNOW that the chibita/snowtoko complaint was MINOR and i fucking LIKED THAT EPISODE A LOT!! i didnt cry i just felt that based on how the staff have characterized chibita up until that point it was a little jarring to see him react like he did THAT IS ALL! what the fuck!! how would you even know what i talk about in my servers!! youre obviously misinformed my guy!!!

Lemme tell you something, Sombre: Karabita isn’t canon. OH SHIT! I SAID IT BOYS! THAT’S A FUCKING CURSE ISN’T IT!! No, sorry, sit the fuck down and suck those tears up, because it’s true. It’s not canon. It isn’t. You grasp at straws to say it is, but it isn’t. Chibita wore somehing blue? Oh shit, it’s Karamatsu! He’s clearly in love with him! No, sorry honey, that’s not how it works. Of course Chibita would feel pity on him and let him stay with him (ep 24), because who wouldn’t? That doesn’t mean they’re dating. Karamatsu may be the most bisexual person ever, but he sure as hell isn’t dating Chibita (at least, not canonly). Speaking of Chibita, you need to stop acting like any other Matsu x Chibita ship is literal hell. They’re not. There are some decent ones out there, and although they’re rarepairs by now, they’re a lot better quality than the Karabita bullshit you spew out.

me saying karabita is canon is a joke, and my disdain for non karabita matsubita ships is based half in coping reasons and half in chibita has literally no chemistry with the other matsus and seems to not like any of the other bros at all whereas hes actually shown some level of tolerance or interest in karamatsu

While we’re on the subject of non-canon ships, Atsutodo isn’t canon either. Fuck’s sake, they were on screen together for 10 damn seconds. Yes, I’m aware there’s card art of Atsushi and Todomatsu having a meal together, but they’re very clearly not dating if Todomatsu is still going out with girls and holding their hands etc. Oh, speaking of Todomatsu: Your trans hc of him? Generic as fuck. He’s not trans. Call me a transphobe, I don’t give a shit, but he’s not trans. Look at the -kun animes. He’s a guy. Where in his life would he have magically been a girl and then go right back to a guy? The time span between a 12 year old and a 21 year old isn’t long enough to allow you time to transition. In that day and age, it wasn’t even acceptable to be transgender. So none of the Matsus are trans, get that out of your head. Get those “autism hcs” out of your head too, because I KNOW you hc Kara and Jyushi as autistic (and I’m aware you used to headcanon Ichimatsu as autistic too, but we’ll get to that later).

i know atsutodo isnt canon i never said it was all the “x ship is canon” jokes are about karabita and theyre jokes dude, i just think atsutodo would be cute. why the fuck do you even care about my trans hcs?? theyre HEADCANONS they dont HURT ANYONE and like dude there are trans children out there….. stop being a fuckface about simple headcanons what the fuck.

Lemme tell ya something. Karamatsu sure as hell isn’t autistic. Literally the only reason you headcanon him as such is because you yourself claim to be autistic and because “uwu he’s m fav,,,, i relate to him,,,”. Also, I realize “jyushi is autistic xD” headcanons are common, but JESUS FUCK it’s time for them to die. Jyushimatsu is just bizarre in and out, it’s his personality and his way of life. If you’re gonna hc him as autistic for his personality, you’re obviously ignoring his physical abilities. What about that time he cloned himself? Grew different sizes? What about how he seemingly has no bones (tentacle arms)? But oh, let’s ignore that, because he’s always got a smile on his face and he has a childish personality so DURR HE’S OBVIOUSLY AUTISTIC. Also, you used to headcanon Ichimatsu as autistic, but as soon as you started hating him you threw that headcanon out the window. This is PROOF you only headcanon your favorite characters as autistic, and that’s some of the STUPIDEST shit ever.

literally just let people headcanon what they want if it doesnt hurt anyone, im sure in canon theyre not autistic but this is HEADCANON. and is this also to imply that just because a character can do bizarre thing with theyre body they cant also be autistic?? what the fuck does that have to do with anything??? and i didnt throw my autistic ichi hc out the window because “i hate him” i dont even hate him im indifferent to him i hate his fanon incarnation because its stupidly out of character and one note, i also didnt even drop the autism hc for him i feel like he definitely 100% could be autistic but i just dont think about it as much because i think about other characters more than i think about him

Oh yeah, I’d love to hear why you hate Ichimatsu so much? Shut up, I know it’s because “hhhh he abuses kara” but that’s fucking wrong. Listen, Ichimatsu isn’t exactly my favorite either but at least I don’t make him out to be a fucking asshole to Karamatsu. All of the brothers have treated Karamatsu like shit at one point or another. They’ve thrown things at him, ditched him, called him names, ignored him, it’s a fucking trope in the anime that Karamatsu was the one to get hurt. Sure, season 2 has kinda turned that around, but the whole “Ichimatsu is bitter to Karamatsu” thing is the dynamic between them. They DO have moments where they’re not onto each other, though. See how Ichimatsu followed Karamatsu into the woods? Remember the episode where they switched clothes? They didn’t kill each other neither of those times, did they? And yes, I’m aware Ichimatsu has hurt Karamatsu at times (the bazooka, I think smacking?) but he doesn’t LITERALLY ABUSE HIM. You don’t see him kicking him around, PUNCHING HIM, HITTING HIM, EVERY SECOND OF HIS LIFE. Yes, he calls him names. Yes, he’s threatened to hurt him (“I’ll kill you, Shittymatsu.”) but he’s been stopped or HAS stopped every time. If he really was so intent on hurting Karamatsu, don’t you think he wouldn’t ignore his brothers and hurt Karamatsu anyway? But no, he didn’t, and he stopped each time he grabbed Kara. That’s because the entire “Ichimatsu despises Karamatsu” thing is a GAG in the show. It’s meant to be funny. It’s not meant for your negative ass to label it as abuse and then boohoo about it every time Ichimatsu is mentioned. That’s not a valid reason to hate a character, hell, even Karamatsu’s seiyuu said in a Doramatsu CD that Karamatsu was just comic relief. And if you’re gonna look for a reason why Ichimatsu dislikes Karamatsu, consider the hinted and well-supported reason: Ichimatsu “hates” Karamatsu because of how confident he is and how he can always be himself. Ichi is insecure. Ichi is antisocial. Kara, on the other hand, can express himself and show how “cool” he is. Consider that Ichimatsu wants to be more like him, hence why he said he’s the “number one Karamatsu boy” in that one episode.

okay this is just ridiculous i DONT HATE ICHIMATSU and i KNOW its a GAG, i KNOW they get along sometimes i KNOW all the brothers have shat on kara I KNOW THIS abuse takes many forms though and in a more serious anime the way the bros treat kara would probably be depicted as abusive, but it isnt a serious anime so its a gag and i understand that thats FINE, did you even watch the ichimatsu incident? ichimatsu got plenty fucking pissed off at karamatsu and stuff and the “number one karamatsu boy” nonsense was him being concerned about how karamatsu might think of him as such not him calling himself a karamatsu boy, and yes i know the whole ichi wants to be cool and confident like kara thing i understand that but even so that wouldnt logically excuse his bitterness toward kara but again, its a gag anime so its whatever, youre also ignoring the facet of his disdain towards kara being in part because kara is also vain and ichi finds this annoying and thinks kara is fake as hell because of it there was something in i think a magazine where the bros are all asked what they think of eachother i think and i THINK ichi said something along the lines of him not liking kara because he fakes being nice for the sake of his own ego or something (which is likely ichi just having a negative image of kara rather than that actually being the case because i dont think karas that smart but who knows i dont!!) so like y’know

In conclusion, I would like to say you need to shut the fuck up and chill with your fandoms and headcanons, realize headcanons aren’t canon, and also get your head out of your ass. You’ve done so many wrong things and need to stop blaming them on others. You’ve lied, insulted, and put the blame on so many of your old friends, you’ve avoided people who you deem “toxic” (simply because they have different opinions than you), you think people can’t form their own opinions, and you don’t back up your friends when they’re getting shittalked. You act like an assoholic brat and cannot, for the life of you, open up your eyes and see this. You’re lucky the dicktwats on your server are there for you, because if they weren’t, you’d be all alone, and honestly? That seems pretty good at this point. Fits you perfectly.

i know headcanons arent canon, i know ive lied (though ive really only insulted people who were dicks to my friends and maybe blu which probably not a good thing but i mean hes also insulted me so?? even i guess??) and i regret that, im more honest now and try my best to show kindness to people who have done me and my friends no wrong, ive only ever put blame on blu i literally dont blame anyone else for anything, i dont avoid people i deem “toxic” i avoid people i dont get along with because if i dont get along with them then theres no reason to talk to them im gonna let them live their lives, of course i think people can form their own opinions what on earth are you talking about???? when did i not back up a friend when they got shit talked?? i dont remember that but id like to deeply apologize if i ever did, unless youre talking about when someone in my server insults blu over ykno… him not leaving me alone and harassing me when ive done nothing but mind my own business since the incident, then while it was kind of uncomfortable for me because i felt it was the wrong thing to do i couldnt exactly muster the words to protest it. im very sorry you feel that way im always trying to improve and i like to think that im making some level of progress in being more sensitive and kind to those around me. but also dont insult my friends they didnt do shit weve been minding our own goddamn business this entire time blu is the one who started it back up again.

Now, go back to crying in your server and soaking in self-deprication, fuckass.

yknow i get the feeling i know who this is but i dont want to jump to any conclusions so, uh, okay! see ya my dude :0c

#shut up sombre #drama /#heres to hoping this is the last thing i get abt this bc this is jus really dumb and im tryna move on over here #ask to tag /#submission

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Celeste Barber: ‘I get miffed with fashionistas thinking they are better than others’

The comedian and social media star on overnight Insta-fame, the weird world of fashion and embracing her comedy skills

Celeste Barber has a drinking game in her new standup show, called Allowed; Not Allowed. During the game the Australian comic displays social media snaps showing people in various stages of undress and asks the audience to guess which have been allowed to stay up and which have been taken down by the moderators.

Often the difference, she says, comes down to appearances: One of them is a banging hot model and the other one is, well, me.

Barber could be described as a social media star, entertaining her 1.8m Instagram followers every few days with posts that contrast often outlandish celebrity fashion images with real-life reenactments, all in aid of #celestechallengeaccepted.

Theres model Kate Upton smouldering in a wet T-shirt as she emerges from a swimming pool; theres Barber clambering out of a pool, butt first. Theres a barely dressed Kim Kardashian posing against a pile of sand; theres a similarly clad Barber reclining awkwardly against gravel.

The parodies are cheeky and funny and speak volumes about the depiction of women in celebrity culture. And while it all started out as a joke exchanged between Barber and her sister before she put the pics online for everyones enjoyment, shes also thrilled they resonate a deeper level.

I never started out for it to be a body positive thing or be like, fuck yeah. It was always like, this is how celebrities get out of the pools [and] Im like no, this is how you get out of the pool.

Even though its unintentional, shes happy for the images to be seen as a comment on sexism in the media. I totally identify as a feminist, but Im even more so now without knowing I was one. All of a sudden, Im like oh yeah, Ill march and shit, because Ive got a voice.

I’m not a morning person. #celestechallengeaccepted #celestebarber #funny #britishvogue

A post shared by Celeste Barber (@celestebarber) on Jun 18, 2017 at 12:41am PDT

For all her Insta-fame, Barber is no overnight social media success story. The actor and comedian first appeared on Australian screens in hospital drama All Saints, with stints on Home & Away and comedy series How Not to Behave.

She is currently filming new ABC comedy The Letdown, which was recently picked up by Netflix for international distribution. Written by Alison Bell and Sarah Scheller, the show is about a mothers group and gives a very funny and raw look at just how hard motherhood can be.

Shes so stoked to be on the Letdown, but jokes that she doesnt know what shell do if it goes to a second season. If that then means Ive got to work with toddlers [instead of babies], Im out. Ive got kids. I was like: So were going to have toddlers? Why dont we just get dogs and chimps in as well?

In conversation, Barber is as quick-witted and self-deprecating as her Instagram account suggests, but she hasnt always embraced her funny side: I think I was annoying as a kid … Ive always thought funny was silly, funny was dumb, a bit stupid.

It was her All Saints co-star, the late Mark Priestley, who told her to make full use of her comedic talents. He was the one who was like: No, this is just funny, not everyone can do that. Stop being an idiot, wrap your head around it. I then went: Ah, theres something in that.

Just a little reminder that this is my arse. Lots of people have been sharing it and not tagging my arse, but I can guarantee you that this is, in fact, MY ARSE. #celestechallengeaccepted #celestebarber #funny #kateupton

A post shared by Celeste Barber (@celestebarber) on May 28, 2017 at 3:50pm PDT

Id always get offered or audition for the funny stuff, [but] I was like, Im a theatre actress, I can do Lady Macbeth. It turns out, Im woeful at that stuff [but] I can do funny well. So instead of running away from it, Im now obviously embracing it.

Given most of her subjects are from the fashion industry, she is finding herself increasingly adopted by that world something she finds amusing, considering how little she thinks about it. And while she enjoys the performance art aspect of someone like Lady Gaga, she finds the pretentiousness irritating. I get a little miffed with fashionista people thinking that they are much better than other people because they are very slim and have architect husbands and get to wear free stuff. Its a bit [like they are] rubbing your nose in, This is how we live, sorry guys and that bums me hard.

While her social media success has opened doors, shes not one to wait for things to happen. Ive never been good at saying, well Ill just wait for an audition, Ill go in and hopefully Ill get it. Ive always done my own [work], I like having that control over it.

Sometimes it doesn’t matter how hard you work you will never be @yellabella doing yoga in a doorway. #celestechallengeaccepted #celestebarber #funny #naomicampbell #yoga ( @tommyonehand )

A post shared by Celeste Barber (@celestebarber) on Jun 28, 2017 at 1:27pm PDT

She booked the venue for the standup show herself and is excited, and a little daunted, by it. It will be an insight into her Instagram world: I find it all very indulgent, and believe it or not, Im not that indulgent with myself. Im essentially standing up and talking about myself but I think thats what people want to hear, so it will be fine.

She hopes to tour the show nationally and then perhaps internationally. There, weve just announced it, she jokes. One day, shed like to host a late-night talk show in the US. Chelsea Handler did it but shes on Netflix. Whoopi Goldberg did it a few years ago. There are no women and there are no Australians. I could totally do that, I reckon.

After that, the skys the limit: Then Ill run for president or something. Well, it turns out any numpty can do it, so why not?

Celeste Barber Challenge Accepted is at Giant Dwarf theatre, Sydney on 30 June and 1 July