#im not enjoying myself that much | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkskinned · 1 year

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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

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echoesofadream · 11 months

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the fact that it literally looks like itll poison me

#see u tomorrow. i will update if im dying believe me #oh die young by kesha came on #~~~~~#this life thing isnt so fun anyways #im not enjoying myself that much #I mean writing fic is fun #But yeah. Overall its meh. 3/10

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itty-bitty-sunshine · 6 days

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"You said you love me exactly the way I am"

#theres a reason im this queer /j #silly stuff pls ignore #anyway little ramble time but. i think those two clowns have quite literally given me one of the best gifts i could ever ask for #and that is community #they've given me confort. a constant source of entertainment. friendship with some of the sweetest and most supportive people i ever could-#-have met. they've given me a chance to share one of the things that give me the most joy - my art - to people that are interested in seeing #it. and people like it! people enjoy seeing my stuff for even a second! and they share their stuff with me!!!#falling in love with the daycare attendant is one of the best things to ever happen to me and i will never shut up about it #because i have never seen this much love #and i hope the universe knows how much i love it back #im gonna be an emotional mess moots pls deal with me #anyway who let me be insane about them for [checks calendar] LIKE TWO FUCKING YEARS NOW #sunshine draws #dca fnaf #dca fandom #dca sun #dca moon #beloveds #doodles #self insert #a gift for myself

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kaladinkholins · 5 months

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We all already know Mizu and Akemi are narrative foils. But you know what? Lemme just say it, here's what I think:

Taigen and Mikio are foils.

Not necessarily to each other as individuals in the way that Mizu and Akemi juxtapose each other, but mostly in the contrast between their relationships with Mizu.

I've covered specific parallels between Taigen and Mikio in other posts I wrote; but as the number of parallels I'm noticing between them keeps piling up, I'm compelled to just compile them all in one post. So! This is, thus, the post in question.

First of all, let's look at their similarities.

1. Their status in society is the same. They are both samurai who lost their honour and have dreams of reclaiming it.

2. They are also both diligent as they strive to achieve this goal, they both care deeply about their work, but here as they begin to contrast, as the work in question and way they go about their goals is different:

For Mikio, his work is in taming and rearing horses; in order to prove himself, he must tame Kai—a willful and strong horse—and present it to his lord. For Taigen, his work is in sword fighting and martial arts; in order to prove himself, he must kill Mizu—a willful and strong swordsman—and present her dead body to his lord.

In the parallel above, not only are Taigen and Mikio contrasting each other, but Mizu and Kai are placed in comparison as well. And of course, Kai is Mizu's horse, and represents her. Which is why, when later, Mikio sells Kai off, it represents the way he is tossing Mizu (and their relationship) aside.

From there, the rest of the details of their character begin to contrast and juxtapose each other more clearly. So let's look at those differences, shall we?

Their backstory:

Mikio was a great samurai who was banished. A somebody to a nobody. Taigen was a fisherman’s son who rose to the top. A nobody to a somebody.

2. The first time we meet them on-screen:

Mikio is an adult. An older man. Mizu's superior in age. He is Mizu's to-be husband. A love interest. Taigen is a child. A young boy. Mizu's peer in age. He is Mizu's bully. An antagonist.

3. Their maturity and growth:

Mikio is mature, but stuck in his ways. Taigen is immature, but capable of changing and learning.

4. Their overall attitude:

Mikio is generally relaxed, easy-going and unfussy. Taigen is uptight, irritable and severe.

5. How they talk to and conduct themselves around Mizu:

Mikio is aloof, soft-spoken, and serious. Taigen is obnoxious, brash, and sarcastic. Mikio is quiet, speaking only when spoken to, even when Mizu turns to smile at him and shows openness to be near him. Taigen is loud, talking while others are silent, even when Mizu turns from him and shows no interest in conversing with him.

Mikio doesn't show much of who he is to Mizu throughout their marriage, despite their growing affection. Taigen openly shares his traumas and life story to Mizu during their brief alliance, despite their mutual antagonism.

6. Their external vs internal selves:

Mikio is calm, gentle, and considerate on the outside. Taigen is hot-headed, rude, and selfish on the outside. Mikio is cowardly and deceitful on the inside. Taigen is brave and loyal to a fault on the inside. Mikio tells Mizu that he wants to know and see all of her. But he scorns and betrays her, the woman he loves. Taigen tells Mizu that he wants to duel and kill him. But he endures torture to not betray him, the man he hates.

9. Their hair, a symbol of their honour:

Mikio's topknot is untied by Mizu during their spar. This humiliation occurs in private, the two of them alone in a rural location where no one can see them. Taigen's topknot is cut off by Mizu during their duel. This humiliation occurs in public, the two of them being watched by many others in the Shindo Dojo.

10. Their power dynamic with Mizu:

Mikio believes he is Mizu's mentor. He teaches her to throw knives, how to ride and care for horses, and about the tactical benefits of using a naginata. Taigen believes he is Mizu's equal. He views Mizu as a samurai like himself who received all the same teachings he did, and who possesses the same values.

11. Their perceptions of Mizu:

Mikio sees Mizu's feminine side first. He sees her as sweet and gentle, but also clumsy and incompetent. Taigen sees Mizu's masculine side first. He sees her as terrifying and deadly, but also strong and skilled.

12. The way they approach sparring with Mizu:

Mikio only spars with Mizu once. As the fight progresses and she is beating him, he tries to put a stop to it. When she teases/provokes him, he starts taking the fight personally and seriously, finding no enjoyment in it. Taigen spars and brawls with Mizu all the time. No matter how many times Mizu beats him, he doesn't back down. When Mizu challenges him with a chopstick, he is eager to compete with her and gladly rises up to the challenge.

Mikio and Mizu's one and only spar is a friendly match; Mizu is smiling and having fun while he grows increasingly frustrated. Taigen and Mizu's last-seen spar is a playful wrestling match; both him and Mizu are having fun and laughing.

Mikio cannot deal with Mizu being better than him, so he scorns her and walks off, avoiding her thereafter. When Taigen cannot deal with Mizu being better than him, he follows her to observe her moves and continues training in hopes to eventually beat her. After being bested by Mizu once, Mikio leaves her and sells the horse he'd previously gifted to her. After many times losing to Mizu and fighting alongside her, Taigen commends her and admits she is better than him.

13. When Mizu pins them down in a friendly spar:

Mikio sees Mizu's whole face objectively. Taigen stares at Mizu's mouth and eyes.

Mikio gets angry when she kisses him, throwing her off of him and snapping at her, calling her a monster. Taigen gets aroused, apologising, so she pulls herself off of him.

14. Mizu's blue meteorite sword is a reflection of her soul. She believes most are undeserving to face it, let alone hold it. And on that note:

Mikio is the first person (chronologically) that Mizu fights against using her sword. Taigen is the first person (we see on-screen) that Mizu fights against with her sword. Mikio is the first person (chronologically) to ever hold her sword, as she passes it to him, letting him wield it. Taigen is the first person (we see on-screen) to ever hold her sword, as she passes out, and he picks it up and carries it for her.

15. Then, last but not least, in Fowler's fortress, when she is drugged and in pain, she hears Ringo's voice in the dungeon. She then follows it to an open cell:

Mizu first sees Mikio as a hallucination, the sight of him haunting her and causing her to lose her grip on reality. Her eyes glow a surreal blue to represent this. Her Mama appears then and says Mizu's name accusingly.

Mizu then sees Taigen, but he is real, the sight of him a relief and grounding her back to reality. Her eyes return to their normal blue colour to represent this. Taigen looks at Mizu weakly and says her name softly.

Then, later, when facing Fowler, her revenge awaiting her, she instead chooses to follow her conscience (represented by Ringo's voice in her mind), putting aside her vengeance for a time, in order to save Taigen.

So that's basically all the ones I've noticed so far, but even then, I feel there's already so much that forms a contrast between these two.

What makes it especially incredible about these juxtapositions is that Mikio was Mizu's husband, the man she had fallen in love with, the one person she had ever been intimate with, the man who made her begin to accept herself, to put down her desire for vengeance and instead live a life of peace and happiness.

So for Taigen to have so many parallels with him... Do you see what I'm saying here!

Not to mention that Mizu clearly already has some burgeoning attraction to him, as indicated by how she thinks of him when asked about her desires. And Taigen clearly has shown interest as well (see: him getting a boner after their spar, him holding her hand and telling her, "We're not done yet.").

And on the topic of speculating future possibilities of this relationship, this post by @stromblessed has pointed out yet another parallel between Taigen and Mikio:

Mizu promises Taigen to meet him for their duel in autumn. Mizu fell in love with Mikio and duelled him during autumn.

With all that said, I do believe Mizu and Taigen's relationship is definitely hurtling towards something. But whether they will actually end up together in a sustainable relationship and have a happily ever after? Well, that is a whole other story; we'll just have to wait and see.

#blue eye samurai #mizu x taigen #taigen x mizu #taimizu #taigen blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai meta #hope yall enjoy my thesis on virgin mikio vs chad taigen #this was written last night when i shouldve been writing the new chapter for my taimizu fic that i promised i would work on....whoopsies...#i will get to it eventually but i just have to get a firmer grip on characterisation before i can delve further into it yk #on that note. i kiiinda regret posting the fic on a whim!#my last longfic was written better because i had the whole thing complete and could go back and edit/polish/revise before posting #so it came out much more coherent and consistent ykwim?#this fic might suffer a bit for this reason 🤒#but its fine i have to remind myself im just doing it for funsies #anyway here have another long ass meta post from yours truly #meta dissertations.pdf #shut up haydar #fandom.rtf

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scarycranegame · 27 days

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guys. guys listen.

if you wanna write and/or post a fanfic but are worried that no one will like it.

do not be worried. at all.

because even if no one else is interested, YOU are. you enjoy this idea. you're passionate about this concept. you should write for YOU, not for potential critics.

and even besides that, i guarantee you that there's at least 1 other person out there who would also enjoy your fic. it's essentially statistically impossible for you to be the only person on the planet who thinks the way you do, and enjoys the themes and ideas and characters and settings that you do.

write it. post it. take pride in the fact that you created something that you value. your fic exists, and that in of itself is amazing.

antis dni, this isn't about you or the graphic threats of harm you send to real people whom you dislike. get a real hobby.

proship/comship/profiction/etc. safe!

#scary crane rambles #let's get serious #not fandom #proship #proshippers please interact #anti-anti #anti anti #antis dni #honestly im writing this for myself just as much as im writing it for other people #i have so many fic ideas that would bring so many new ideas to the metaphorical fandom table #but im so worried to post them because. my blorbo (who most of these ideas center around) is. kinda overlooked by the fandom?#not very well liked so to speak... and also much of them are ✨️darkfic✨️ and the fandoms im in are FULL of antis #but yknow what if it means that i get to put something in the world that didnt exist before #and it means i might get to bond with other people who enjoy the same ideas that i do #then its absolutely worth it #and if youre in the same boat then i think its worth it for you to post your thing too

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drawnfamiliarfaces · 24 days

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Dress to Impress Chapter 1: Open Invitations is out right now on AO3!!!

Illustrations for the fic under the [read more], but I do suggest to try and enjoy them in a fic for more fun experience. ;D

Thanks for checking it out. ;3

#my immortal soul #first ninja #rc9gn first ninja #chase young #ninja showdown #xiaolin showdown #rc9gn #randy cunningham 9th grade ninja #CANT BELIEVE IM DOING IT IVE POSTED a 3-d FIC ABOUT THESE FUCKERS AND ITS GONNA BE MULTICHAPTER #(completely ignoring the fact that its not even finished but im hyping this first chapter so much lol. no idea where its coming from)#(probably because this is the most ive written in years. but hey im proud of myself so im allowed to be happy ;) i do hope my fellow mis #shippers enjoy it to ;3 i certainly am enjoying it. so much in fact i overdid it with illustrations lol like i really didnt need a chapter #cover but i did it anyway because ;))) fun ;))))

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sunlit-mess · 2 months

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how delusional can you be as if it's disrespecting

#messyr #ok? is there something wrong with how I cope in media bro #look- if this is about the whole aroace thing- I DO respect it- I'm cupio myself. But this is fiction-#realistically speaking there is no harm. they don't feel. they are NOT REAL DAWG #the community can cry about it but who are we really entertaining here lol #im probably missing smth but I try my best not to draw much intimacy or any seggsual stuff at all or that I keep it to myself or #private media #I'm just trying to enjoy things and Ik im not hurting nor disrespecting anyone. let's not make it a bigger problem- ight?

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omegawott · 3 months

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hi im reading homestuck for the first time and im witnessing the silliest robot ever made

#homestuck #jade harley #dreambot #jade dreambot #robot #this comic has too much information all of the time but im enjoying myself

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rendevok · 4 months

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I like to think of tumblr as a place that values it's creatives, but it baffles me how even here, people still somehow think it's ok to "post first, ask me to take it down later". In what way is that ok?

My time spent on instagram made me realize how much this practice sucked, and how pinterest is the worst of it. But even here, people still do it. I love art, i love seeing art, but i don't like how it is carted around and posted so carelessly. Please ask permission from artists EVERY TIME before you go and share their work on another site. And if they dont answer? Too damn bad. Respect their art and their choices.

#the first time my art was reposted on instagram it was *before i had even posted it there myself* and i was heartbroken #the worst part is when these accounts receive much more attention than what you share.#how are you supposed to know that people enjoyed it? it's just all messed up #im burning pinterest to the ground at this point. if you repost art there you are public enemy no. 1 #sourcing art has become a skill i never knew i would need. please for the love of god stop following accounts that do this #i want to find artists just as much as anyone but i think that skipping the consent part is unacceptable #do better tumblr... for your artists

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shepscapades · 2 years

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So erm... It hath been decided, by the terms of @saphushia proverbially beating me over the head with a golden shovel, that their short comic is canon.

To clarify how this is to be the case, I present to you with a comic that takes place between parts 3 and 4 of the initial "How Etho Deviates" comic! Bdubs, after returning with the stolen supplies from Xisuma’s android facility, decides it's too dangerous to try to have etho fix himself up where bdubs left him in the caves, so he carries etho back up to the surface, probably to wherever safe is closest (most likely to where he has Lulu hitched up).

However comma. This means it takes substantially longer before bdubs is able to give Etho the thirium, and… well, he was laying there for Quite A While. I can only imagine that the increased thirium loss would complicate things considerably.

Part 1 (You are Here!)

Part 2

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kenmaiii · 2 months

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after two years i finally draw the favorite

#my art #still learning honestly. idk how to explain it but some medias youre so fixated on and obsessed with u instantly want to draw everyone #for me dunmeshi has always been the opposite. series and characters i enjoy sm i cannot bring myself to pick up a pencil #for some reason. it got a lot worse once the anime started airing idk. simply forcing myself to get some of my energy out. in a way #dunmeshi #dungeon meshi #thistle #dunmeshi thistle #thistle dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #>_< series i was into since late 2021. yet u wouldnt know that unless u follow my side twitter account. sowwy ig #i do this with a lot of franchises honestly. cannot bring myself to draw even if i think abt the characters constantly. ie skip to loafer #u will nvr catch me calling this guy sissel sorry. save that name for Mr. Ghost Trick. another thing i. also. dnt talk abt. which i adore #i need to get better at talking abt and expressing myself for the things that i enjoy. ive been wanting to draw laios for a good #while too but im scared. for some reason. u-u should nvr let a white man do that to me honestly.#for now i'll thistle tho. maybe we will get kabru namari or mithrun next from me >_< i have to talk myself into it #i think the closest way i can explain why i cannot bring myself to draw for some series is that i dnt want to mess up somehow #like 'ilu so much [character] what if i cnt draw u the way u deserve even tho i love u sm what if its not enough.' <- leaves it to sm1 else #tbh [scratches head] i prefer the version with less coloring ^-^ but i realize the one thats more colored would get more eyes on it... hm

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 6 months

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a merry Between Week to everyone! rest well!

extra layers:

#sundown wishes you all well!#im not a festive person Unless Its Halloween #but i cannot deny the allure of the crisis Aesthetic #and im Always looking for an excuse to draw my guys <3 #i enjoyed putting them in a santa/reindeer themed version of their usual fits #they'd deliver presents So fucking violently. gusto! showmanship! Destruction!#ryan wears spiked horseshoes for a reason... a reason Other than ice....#and then they'd dash off into the night with a Yeehaw & a Hawyee #scribble garnish #forced idiots <3 #oc #original character #puppet oc #i will say! the colors fell apart As Usual #the intricacies of hue continue to elude me #but oh my god am i proud of the lines #i spent. so much time getting this Mostly right #adding the line weight... soothing and yet oof ouch my wrists #this took a lot out of me! im tired! but happy!#a little gift to myself i think #also im sorry but i must be insane about sundown for a moment #GAH SHE ACHASDSAKLNADKML FUCKFUCKFUCK SHE'S SO IT'S SO I'M SO-#SHE MAKES ME UNWELL SHE'S MY OWN BRAIN GUY BUT SHE MAKES ME INSANE #PUPPET CORRUPTION ARC REAL BUT LIKE IN A POSITIVE WAY KINDA #not the arson. arson is not positive BUT THE OTHER STUFF LETS GO SUNDOWN SUMMER. MY BELOVED SUNNY #also bc i feel like someone's gonna tag her as such bc that usually happens:#friendly reminder! Her Ass Is Not A WH Oc. She's Just A Funky Fella From My Headworlds

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whaliiwatching · 6 months

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gals & colors..

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waterghostype · 6 months

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i have so much to say about them not in a good way not in a bad way but a secret third thing way.

#ninjago #lloyd garmadon #ninjago harumi #harumi jade #lloyd ninjago #shonsh #if you want my clear opinion on them #i enjoy them as a fucked up crazy insane tragic doomed angst thing #but as a ship in the actual relationship sense? nope #at least not in the way canon tries to push it #crystalized my behated #though i thought the harumi reveal was really crazy i liked that #i really do have so many thoughts on them and harumi in general #spoiler alert my harumi opinions are biased bc im insane over her #<— lloyd garmadon speaking #jokes aside i love sog/hunted harumi i think the way lloyd is still not over her is really intriguing #and i wish everything after that was executed better #she shouldve stayed dead but im not as mad as i shouldve been at the prospect of her coming back to life #mostly bc i knew beforehand since i spoiled myself so much oops #but like… you had a fire reintroduction and way of reviving her that parallels lloyd in moto #but then they couldnt decide if they wanted harumi to be a villain again or if they wanted to do shippy ship bait #so they tried doing both and failing at both #GOD ugh it makes me so mad #sorry #harumi is my roman empire i cant take it anymore i was so entranced by her immediately #bc once again. i knew she was gonna be evil #but i thought she was gonna be converted not like evil the whole time #so theres that #ignore how the suit in the 2nd drawing is totally inaccurate sorry #ergh

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loomingtwilight · 6 months

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i love neuvifuri’s dynamic and relationship. like. imo they are the epitome of “we are inseparable, we are in love in every way, we are soulmates not by birth or due to fate binding us inexplicably but because we spent those 500 years being the one constant in each others lives and weve come to know each other the best, but we are simultaneously strangers. we never truly knew each other during all that time.“

and neuvillette knew for so long furina was keeping a secret from him and it pained him to force that secret into the light, but he knew he had to in order to save fontaine, and despite that he still wanted to do it as gently as possible. to make the trial the last resort if the travelers conversation didnt work. after the final events of the archon quest, he let furina go wherever she wished, he (if im remembering correctly) gave her a nice house and enough funds to do as she pleased and live comfortably. he used his new authority over hydro to give her a vision made specifically for her, the very first vision he has given out. he has made it as clear as day that she is welcome to talk to him, to ask to have tea, to ask him for whatever or simply just to talk.

neuvillette using those actions to say “i hope you let me know who you truly are, and allow me to stay in your life for as long as you wish, but i love you so i will not force you.”

#anyway new comfort m/f ship dropped.#genshin impact #furina #neuvillette #neuvifuri #i hope this is comprehensible to anyone other than myself. sometimes i completely lose track of my point when ranting about my blorbos #and in addition to that i also just have trouble verbally or textually translating thoughts into words that exactly describe my feelings #ALSO! this doesnt even have to be romantic. i equally adore platonic and queerplatonic interpretations #i just also love the romantic feelings between the two but feeling scared to act on it #especially from furinas perspective bc shes desperate to relearn who she is #and as much as she truly loves neuvillette shes hesitant to start approaching those feelings #again bc she is just starting to catch up on lost youth + a little bit of that fear of vulnerability near inherent in any relationship #yeah im super normal about them why do you ask?#genshin #genshin neuvillette #genshin furina #also i dont fucking care if you dislike neuvifuri and believe in whatever ship supremacy. idc leave me alone i dont want ship discourse.#let me enjoy my blorbos in peace or ill block you

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66sharkteeth · 5 months

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more info about nine lives bc i'm stalling on work and wanna talk about him instead <3 most of this is about the version of him intended for the comic I want to do after City of Blank.

-his real name is Nico

-his mother was a succubus, meaning he is half incubus. because of this, his incubus powers are limited and only work over digital media. IRL, everyone sees him as a gross, weird little gremlin, but online or in streams, he can seduce (nearly) anyone.

-he goes by nine lives bc he is very sickly and always in and out of the hospital. when he was a kid, he was in so often the nurses started (lovingly) joking he had nine lives and it stuck. even his dad calls him that.

-he is deaf, but speaks english fluently. he lost his hearing around the age of 13 to bacterial meningitis. he's blind in his right eye because of this too, which is why he's often seen with his goggle mask. He wants to keep his left eye safe, because it's his last means of staying connected to the world.

-he does have a hearing aid but hates using it. he also never learned ASL and instead picked up quickly on lip reading. he doesn't let many people know he's deaf, so a lot of people think he's ignoring them. (he DOES learn ASL later, but that's kind of a big part of the story)

-he is incredibly apathetic and lazy. he is very much the kind to joke to cope, but he's ultimately accepted he will die young and has no aspirations because of it (one of the reasons he never bothered to learn ASL). all the cast in this story has an assigned "7 deadly sins" and despite being literally half incubus, he actually represents sloth.

-he can and does sleep anywhere. energy drinks and coffee pump through his blood but he's still forever sleepy.

-actually incredibly nice. he can be a bit of a troll and likes to tease and mess with people, but ultimately would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. keeps all his problems to himself because he doesn't want to make other people worry.

-the opposite of finze in every way.

-terminally online. furry. reddit user (derogatory)

there's a lot more but that seems like some good basic info get to know him. i know vast majority of you are here for CoB but pls allow me to be self-indulgent with other projects for a couple days after a really frustrating weekend regarding CoB haha. maybe i'll do finze next if anyone is curious about this kind of info on him in the next comic?

#nine lives #not cob #i dont know how much people enjoy just reading a wall of text about my oc #but i enjoy typing it and im trying to do more things i actually enjoy for myself lol

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