#im not a medical expert so im just bullshitting it
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As someone who sits in Criminal Court all day every day here's my reactions to Season 2, Episode 2 of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds
There's a lot of yelling.
--PLEA DEALS hahahahaha "this comports with our prosecutorial standards your honor"
--ARRAIGNMENTS TAKE 5 MINUTES AT MOST BITCH
--Dismissals aren't all bad things jsyk
--this is like the time the judge asked what was different between a homeless person using drugs to cope with mental illness and the rich white woman standing there using medications stolen to cope with hers
--I WOULD LIKE TO USE THE 24-HOUR RULE YOUR HONOR I DID NOT GET A CHANCE TO READ THE AMENDED INFORMATION AND IN FACT I MOTION THE COURT FOR A HEARING ON THE MATTER
Im dying you guys. This hurts me. This is hurting me so much.
--One time a case got dismissed because of a typo in the Information. This happens. And it's fucking dumb and hilarious at the same time.
--God damn what does this JTMR even look like. How many witnesses, how many days, please for the love of god mark your exhibits right pls pls pls pls pls
--So again Nyota is the only sane person here. Got it.
--HOLY SHIT ITS COURTROOM ZOOM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LET IT DIE
--Yes. Yes. Some opening arguments end up being some stoic bullshit and yes it comes off as tacky. It's a bench trial mother fucker you're not trying to impress a jury
--also. WHERE IS THE CLERK. WHERE AM I. WHERE IS MY REPRESENTATION STAR TREK? WHERE>>@>>!?!
--the poor fucking soul who has to run the recording software
--WHAT A FUCKING STUPID OBJECTION REALLY?
--Also where the fuck is the judge stopping the questioning and the answering from the witness when an objection is raised? Im sorry?????
--WHY ARE YOU APPROACHING THE BENCH GET OUT OF THE WELL
--THIS IS TERRIBLE NO ONE HAS EVER STEPPED FOOT IN A COURTROOM BEFORE WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS
--lawyers soapbox all the time this isn't new and it's shitty for the defs
--expert witnesses are the WORST
--so there wasn't a stipulation that they all must refer to the def in a professional manner???
--again these are TERRIBLE objections
--"Dont badger your own witness" hahahahahaha I should tell that to ______
--um.....why is associate counsel allowed to approach the witness?
--WHY ARENT YOU OBJECTING TO ASSOCIATE COUNSEL APPROACHING AND ASKING QUESTIONS
--THERE IS NO REAL COURTROOM PROCEDURE HERE I MOTION FOR A MISTRIAL
--holy fuck it's an exhibit that's not properly admitted before the Court! THE COURT CANT CONSIDER THIS WHERE IS MY FOUNDATION
--I JUST SAW THE CLERK THE CLERK OF T HE COURT EXISTS I AM REPRESENTED OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I AM FINALLY A FUCKING PART OF SOMETHING NOT JUST PART OF THE CONSTITUTION IA M ON MASS MEDIA
--I am so uncomfortable why is she up on the bench pls go away pls stop
--Please for the love of god. Don't clap for lawyers. Don't ever. EVER clap for any lawyer ever.
The best thing about this episode was the two brief appearances of the Clerk, and Pike's hair.
#jasmine dot exe#overall I liked the message but I can't.#I cant handle legal shows any more your guys it's always wrong and poorly written#I died a little bit watching it.
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This was supposed to be better than the capitalistic b.s. we are sold but it's still pissing me off so I'm gonna scream into the void. Fuck this assessment.
Physical self care
I eat the same thing every day i don't think about it
Who has the fucking money for prevention or medical care
Fashion is overrated bullshit made up by thin ppl who dont even make shit in my fucking size
I'm disabled. I don't do physical activity. I exist and that's enough.
Hot take, it's not my fucking responsibility to constantly try to think positively about myself in a world that tells me they want me dead. I'll be a fucking realist and not lie to myself about shit.
What is it with these pretentious fucks and massages? Noone is fucking touching me and I'm sick of it being so fucking normalized. I will NEVER get a fucking massage and you can't fucking make me.
Psychological self care
Who the fuck has money for vacations? What even is a "day trip"? Driving is exhausting.
What the fuck is "my own personal psychotherapy" even supposed to mean? If it's just a more pretensious way of saying get a therapist, fuck no. I'm not going back to therapy until therapists stop being dicks who gaslight with cbt and work with cops.
The internet is the only place I can interact with other ppl that I don't hate. Taking breaks is harmful.
Who is this written for? How much reading did the creator of this little list think the average person read for work? Bc I don't know anyone who reads for work honestly.
Do you not notice your own thoughts 24/7? How does that even work?
Engage my intelligence... this is one of those ppl who can turn off their brain to watch trash toxic stuff like reality TV isn't it?
Bold of you to assume I'm an expert in anything
This list is so fucking weird. It's like stuff that I don't even think about or stuff that is not helpful at all.
Be curious... this is why I hate so many ppl. If you have to be reminded to be curious I honestly don't understand why you are alive.
Yeah work stays at work but that's just fuck capitalism don't be taken advantage of.
Journaling is such a basic ass thing and after a while it's pointless. I haven't done that since I was like 16. Not to mention it's exhausting. I'm not writing stuff down by hand esp if I'm the only one that's gonna see it. I'll rant out loud in my apartment bc that's at least not a waste of fucking time. Like who even has a thought long enough to write it down like that?
Emotional self care
I.have.no.support.system. that means no fucking ppl to hang out with.
I HAVE NO SUPPORT SYSTEM. Fuck those toxic ppl that gave birth to me and all the fucks related to them. They can go dissolve in the toxic sludge they created.
I am autistic. Rewatching things is kind of required.
Express outrage... ironically that is what I'm doing right now. Again, fuck this assessment
Fuck affirmations. I'm not lying to myself. It's not actually healthy to tell yourself you're a good person. Bc you're not. Nobody is. That's black and white thinking bullshit. I am a person that does good and bad things depending on my capabilities and I know that bc im not a fucking lying allistic that thinks they don't suffer from black and white thinking.
I'm autistic and for me that means i have uncontrollable bouts of crying. There is no allowing myself. Privileged ass person who made this can apparently controlled their crying. How nice for them.
Now here's where the REAL anger starts
Wtf is going on with this whole "spiritual self care" bullshit? Why is it so hard for ppl to grasp that not everyone thinks like them? And they say autistics have a lack of theory of mind.
Causes aren't spiritual. They are opinions and values.
Reflection isn't spiritual, that's just using your fucking brain to analyze yourself, we already covered that, how many reminders do you boring allistic ppl need??
Non material aspects of life? Wtf does that even mean? Am I aware that there are abstract concepts? Yes, social constructs are abstracts, like Religion is a social construct and im not interested, it's boring.
Find spiritual connection or community?? This bullshit is why atheists are so lonely. Yall can't build any community outside religion.
Relationship self care
Partner. No. Fuck that amatonormativity.
Relatives? Fuck those toxic ppl.
What posting on tumblr isn't enough?
Personal correspondence? Did someone forget to upgrade to modern language? Why does this sound like some 19th century person talking about writing a letter to send along the pony express.
There are no people to do things for me. I have been asking for help and there is noone. I hate this fucking state, I have nothing in common with these ppl. There is nothing for me, I don't like any of the things that ppl do here, and they don't have any of the things I like to do.
Literally all I have is my cats, and I had to Pavlov them into loving me.
Workplace self care
Chat with coworkers??? Why the fuck would I want to do that? At best I tolerate ppl enough to do my job. Peers?? There aren't even ppl my own age here. I can go days without talking to anyone at all. support groups at work??? This is some fancy blue state shit isn't it?
Can't balance shit when you don't have shit.
Fuck self care
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gotta come up with some super sexy outfits for this weekend but it’s hard when you literally don’t have anything except for like four presentable tops, two or three bottoms, and yeah I have like four or five bodysuits but those are only for the strip club/clubs in general and I want stuff to wear in public spaces, unless I put pants over the bodysuits but I’ve never rlly been a fan of that look hmm 🤔 and my actual hair sucks for ultra feminine looks (if I wanna go for classic femme like long hair) but I have no good long wigs rn gdi so I’ll just have to be a short haired femme for now (and of course I’ll do some makeup, but idk to how much extent yet).
this is even assuming I can get the money to go and he can verify that he’s not busy even tho he’s like 95% sure that he’s free this weekend, but I’m pretty sure he would be picking me up Friday so I need to get this shit figured out like now and my family tends to take till the last minute to figure shit like this out and I doubt mom and grandma will help if I tell them the real reason I’m going, so I’m gonna have to lie and say I’m going to an oddities expo (which I do rlly wanna go to but won’t be able to get money to spend anything at) with him so I hope they believe me bc it’s so last minute. I know how to bullshit things and lie like an expert when it comes to doing secret trips like this and yes that’s manipulation and yes that’s abuse I guess so it doesn’t make me any better than them, but what else am I supposed to do?? they literally have me on a ball and chain and control me and regulate everything I do and I have to ask permission to use my own money on/buy things and that’s just?? rlly fucking controlling right?? that’s not normal right?? they bitch when I buy indulgent things for myself, like to treat myself like new boots or a psn gift card for games, or even something as insignificant as a new decoration for my room (like a 3D printed thing which I’ve been big on lately), which I don’t do very often tbh bc I normally buy things I need like new clothes/jeans/bras/socks since I literally need an entire new wardrobe due to my surgery/weight loss.
so yeah, they’re suffocating me and I’m rebelling in my own way like I’m a teenager again, only I didn’t get to back then so I’m making up for lost time. they’re taking advantage of the fact that i depend on them for money/shelter/transportation/access to medical care/pretty much everything else and everytime I bring up being independent, they say ‘you’re too immature, you have the brain and mentality of a child and you can’t handle being in the ‘real world’ by yourself and you’ll never be able to be on your own’ like?? no?? that’s ableist isn’t it?? im actually about to start working on getting my drivers license and im pretty much guaranteed a job very soon, so im partially there yknow? if I move out I’ll still be financially tethered to them though bc I won’t make nearly enough for rent even with my benefits, but at least I’d be mostly free.
damn this turned into a hell of a rant lmao sorry it’s early in the morning and im Feeling Things and dreading the ‘asking for money’ convo that’s easily going to turn into a fight when mom gets home. gonna go try and chill for a bit
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Promise
listen. i gotta write at least one fic per quarter centered around my psych class. this quarter is abnormal psych so yall get some psychiatrist Jaskier and neurology professor Geralt arguing over Conversion Disorder. I- i have no excuse. I am just this way. I don’t know what to tell you. Actually no, blame @geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde and @dani-dandelino for enabling me
Fun psych fact! Conversion Disorder is a malfunctioning sense or loss of voluntary motor abilities without a medical/neurological cause. Used to require a preceding stressor but the DSM-5 got rid of that and I’m no expert but im defs giving them some side eye for it. Think John Watson’s leg in the BBC Sherlock series, but it can be blindness or loss of hearing or any kind of voluntary motor skill.
Warnings: i mean, they swear? it’s them debating the causes/diagnostic requirements/ possible faking a disorder. it’s not something that would be a common trigger that i can think of but it’s worth mentioning?
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“No, you’re not listening to me. The patient wasn't consciously feigning it. I’m not saying they were just in there to fuck with me,” Geralt huffed, setting his cappuccino down and glaring at Jaskier across the tiny café table.
Jaskier’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head as he took a deep breath for his rebuttal. The psychiatrist was adamant that he was right and damnit he would argue his point until he turned blue in the face, “But that would go against your theory of a physical root to the disorder! If there’s something neurologically wrong then malingering isn’t possible, Geralt! If you distract the patient from the problem and suddenly it’s gone then it must be psychological!”
“Bullshit.”
“I swear to Melitelle- you had better back that up with a reason,” Jaskier pinched the bridge of his nose, doing his best not to get angry at the neurologist’s blunt style of… well of everything.
“It’s your diathesis-stress model! Your discipline came up with it!” Geralt dug around in his bag for his tablet, ranting as he set it up and punched in his pin, “You said it yourself that it's stressors, not capital T Trauma that bring this on! So why don’t other people have the same problem every time they get bad news or a shit grade on their test? A physical predisposition!”
Jaskier’s eyebrows shot into his hairline, “Oh, so you’ve magically produced evidence of a genetic or physical predisposition when it’s been looked for for decades and not a single abnormality can be found? Please.”
Geralt leaned in and squinted to see his screen better, “No, a change brought on by the stressor that resolves when CD is ‘cured’. I like ‘resolved’ better but Yen insisted on ‘cured’.”
Jaskier snorted into his double sweet mocha with caramel and whip, “That’s not the diathesis-stress model. That’s wishful thinking.”
“If intense emotional stress can cause symptoms of a heart attack why can’t it change the brain structure?”
His tone was absolutely pissing Jaskier off. It didn’t matter if what he said had any kind of logical backing now. It was all out war.
“Don’t talk to me like one of your students, Geralt! I will-”
“Look at the thalamus on these scans and tell me what you see,” Geralt was smug. Fuck, Jaskier hated when he was smug. It was harder to stay angry at him when he looked so damn good.
He shot him a warning glare before inspecting the scans and sighing, “They’re normal.”
“Yes. Now these.” Geralt toggled to a different window of more scans.
“They’re also normal.”
Geralt looked at him in shock, then the scans, then back at Jaskier, “No they’re fucking not!”
The poor barista sent to their table tapped her knuckles on the edge, “I hate to interrupt but we’re closing soon. Can I get you two anything else?”
Jaskier flashed her an apologetic smile, “No, dear, we’re fine. We’ll get out of your hair soon. Promise.”
She smiled and nodded, then crossed her arms, “I have to ask. Were you two like, forced to work together? Some of the other girls have bets going.”
Geralt was still engrossed in examining his scans but he didn’t miss a beat, answering in unison with Jaskier, “We’re married.”
The girl laughed and turned back to her coworkers, “Karla you owe me your tips! Suck it!”
Jaskier shook his head and turned back to Geralt, “Darling, unclench. Maybe your grad student just mislabeled the file.”
Geralt shot him a glare over the edge of the screen, “Yen saw the abnormality too,” he grumbled.
“Yen wants tenure,” Jaskier reminded him, laying a tip on their table and standing to shrug on his coat.
“She’s not… You’re right. She would magnify a possible finding to boost her chances,” Geralt pouted as he packed his tablet and followed Jaskier out the door.
“Maybe send them to Ves?” Jaskier suggested, lacing their fingers together and swinging their arms a bit more dramatically than necessary.
Geralt shot him a grin, “I’ll put them on the big screen at home. I know I saw it.”
Jaskier rolled his eyes, “As long as you actually come to bed tonight.”
Geralt used their intertwined hands to pull Jaskier closer, planting a kiss in his hair, “I promise.”
#why am i like this yall#i just#they fuckin live rent free up there#everything is filtered through fandom i guess#geraskier#geraskier modern au#geraskier scientist au#psychiatrist jaskier#neurologist geralt#professor geralt#feral geraskier#arguing geraskier#married geraskier#geraskier husbands#soft geraskier#geralt of rivia#jaskier#the witcher#the witcher modern au#the witcher fic#geraskier fic#mkay next i gotta do a source write up for the imaging study i referenced to write this fic lol
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feeling semi-called out because i wear my name tag on one of the pockets of my scrub top, like that's my waist not crotch but i'd probably get a side eye 😭😭 i have so many things and thoughts about the scouts in a hospital au, and omg all your posts about it is bringing it out!! hange in ortho taking in eren too. yes. hange amd all those tools especially the drill LMAO it's perfect. eren is scared at first, but he's also hammering and drilling away in no time. jean in pedia looking like he's holding a football as he holds the little babies 😭 levi being the unexpectedly fair and kind dude from neuro is a fave!! him in oncology is also very special to me tho, like it could be surgical or medical oncology, but he would be so good at both and his juniors would do a double take at how he isn't charming per se, but he has such a way with patients!!!!!! mikasa the smartest girl, endocrinology plus a masters in clinical genetics 🥰 connie in a nonpatient department 😭 i can see it, he is a disaster but an expert at reading those images!! sasha his partner down in pathology or smth, always gets reprimanded for having food out but no one smells out cancer in those specimens like her!!
also...imagine the reverse too, roommate au with levi, but this time he's the one in healthcare and you get to watch him strip at the door after work because of the pancetta. heh. lemme dote on (and bark at) you 🥰🥰
bye i finally had time to go on tumblr and this spilled out, im sorry 😭😭 -💉
Hange as Eren’s attending just makes SENSE!! Eren is hesitant (isn’t he supposed to fix things); but also because a part of him feels like he’s a disappointment for not taking interest in/being gifted at cardio (daddy issues galore). But Hange brings out the best in him, encourages him to use all that feistiness and personality to the best of his ability, and that being a doctor isn’t just about being technical and intelligent on paper; there’s real life application, and personality is a big deal! Honestly, if it weren’t for Hange, Eren might have honestly considered something else, even if he was this far along. They’re the best pair. The loudest too, with the most provocative music taste in the OR, but still the best.
Jean in pediatrics is so near and dear to me. You know he loves the babies so much he’s scared shitless about dropping them that’s why he look so awkward holding them at first. It just takes some practice tho, and soon he’s a pro. It’s kinda... sexy to see how good he is with children, and how easily he can calm a crying infant, and explain complex things to a toddler. He’s such a dream. He knows the white coat thing is a bit pretentious too, but damn if he doesn’t look good in it.
Levi in neuro... it’s just so GOOD. Of course he of all people would handle the brain and all its complexities, and handle it well. Not only is he a dedicated surgeon, but he’s done his fair share of research, his contributions are crazy, even if they’re (literally) microscopic analyses. He’s pretty decorated, but he never flexes it. When his residents find out they kinda freak, “What the hell is he doing mentoring us?? I’m pretty sure this guy is gonna have a newly discovered brain activity/region named after him in 5 years at least. He’s published in Nature. THRICE.” All that, and he’s good with patients, too, it’s unfair. He’s not peppy or “nice,” to them, but he’s gentle; he’s got that charm about him that doesn’t bullshit, but doesn’t fear monger, and is careful to explain things in layman’s terms so his patients fully understand what’s going on. And when his patients are children? God. Godddd.
Mikasa best girl, Levi is/was her attending, at least for a period of time, and he never said it but she was his favorite. She’s smart, competent, flexible, and doesn’t have an ego about it. Truly, a blessing. She still/frequently goes to him for advice, and she’s the only resident to ever enter Levi’s office for a non-offense. Just to talk... maybe even have lunch and talk shit about Eren and Hange’s playlist. Mikasa wants to bitch about a difficult patient, and Levi reminds her about HIPAA violations... but gossips (without names) nonetheless.
So right about Connie in a non-patient department PLEASE. To think Connie considered EMS at first and swiftly shut that idea down when he saw a real life broken bone protruding through skin for the first time, he was SICK LMFAOOO. The bone part was cool to him tho, so radiology turned out to be a great alternative; that way he doesn’t have to see and blood or severed skin, so problem solved! It’s easy to think he’s a slacker or a dunce, but give him labs or imaging to analyze and he’s got it done with ease and accuracy.
Sasha as a nurse is precious, but I can totally see her in pathology. She literally studies disease for a living/interacts with people with these diseases and other illnesses and is still like, “Can’t believe the human immune system was caught slipping like this. Embarrassiiiiiiiing. Simply be vaccinated.” The rage she feels when she hears about parents not vaccinating their children... Sasha’s usually pretty cheery and always finds fun and hope in her work, but that’s one thing that’ll set her off.
The reverse roommates au!!! I see the vision!!! Also might I offer: they both work in healthcare, maybe at different hospitals, but kind of on opposite shifts (Levi in the morning, OC in the afternoon/night), all to come home and shit talk their respective hospital boards and healthcare systems. Mutual understanding of their situation and finding time to dote on the other even tho they’re barely holding it together themselves. Peak romance
#💉 anon#you get it you SEE THE VISION!!!!#i feel like for everyone's sake erwin should also be in a nonpatient department#or honestly can see him on EMS for some reason... he can stomach the brutality of some of the calls#where to put the other blondie hmmmmmmm#anesthesia?? virology?? general surgery or just emergency medicine#would he be good in the ER?? hmmm i mean hed have to be there for sometime at least but hed probably do outpatient#or maybe just already admitted patients hmm#oh cardio for armin?? hmmmmm thinking thoughts#nah i wouldnt do that to him
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makes me so mad seeing commercial for a medication that magically lessens uncontrollable muscle movements caused by other medication.
first of all, as long as the movements arent disrupting your everyday life (like if your leg clenches and makes you fall over or something like that), who the fuck cares.
the woman in the commercial is at work cause her hand twitches a tiny bit and shes all embarrassed and tries to hide it from her coworkers. cause obviously if you have uncontrollable movements or tics youre a freak and you need to take meds so people wont hate you. thats bullshit. if people think its weird thats their problem and they need to get the fuck over it. you look at someone weird for ticcing in public and ill beat the shit out of you
second, they list uncontrollable muscle movements, AS ONE OF THE SIDE EFFECTS OF THE MEDICATION. WHAT IS THE POINT IF ITS GOING TO CAUSE THEM AS WELL. WHAT????????????????????
third, they also say like. oh its not quite known yet how it works but it just does :) you can totally trust us and you should definitely put this magic pill in your body. id be fine if it was for something more important like helping with a dangerous illness and they might not know how it works but it does, but this is just stupid
if you have uncontrollable muscle movements or tics for any reason i love you and encourage you to embrace them and try your best to not care what people think because that doesnt matter (this includes stuff like stimming as well, physical or vocal or any kind :))
im not a medical expert or anything but i have some tics and stuff and feel very strongly about trying to normalize shit like this
#idk if mine are from my new meds or ive just been able to stop unconsciously masking all the time but#its nice to let it happen without feeling embarrassed or anything#i love my friends bc they dont care they never say anything#im more than comfortable with talking about it i would probably be excited to talk about it but yeah#sorry i just have a lot to say lol#i hope i made this a little bit easier to read by splitting it up#ive got the adhd and the dyslexia too i get it#adhd#autism#tardive dyskinesia#if i said anything bad or wrong pls let me know i dont wanna be insensitive or rude or anything#tourettes#ALSO if you take the medication because youre self conscious about it im not criticizing you at all like you do whatever you need to feel co#comfortable#im just mad about the way they advertised it and how society treats people that have this stuff#ok im done :)#i say things
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About Psychoswap Bobby Zilch
That man has never been to medical school. He’s an expert in forgery and was able to fake being a doctor so that he can access his lab equipment to do what he was hired to do. I mean, it’s not like he actually has to know anything about science. Just throw the super sneezing powder at the kids, toss the brain into the death machine, and boom. done. Victory for Zilch. Honestly he’s more into sports, his outfit is kind of a mix between uh. okay im gonna be real here my only knowledge of sports comes from my cousin and my uncle and my ex uncle. So he has. some sort of sports outfit mixed with an apron and straightjacket. He’s a mad scientist on vibes only.
But he’s actually surprisingly good at the math part of science. While he’s just bullshitting the biology part, he would have aced his physics class.
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Quarantine kink conversations
Henry Catches you watching porn and quickly discovers you both share many kinks.
Masterlist
Warnings: Adult situations +18 ,Smut, Daddy kink, Bondage, Overstimulation
A/n So I haven't been posting much as I've been struggling sorting things out over this stupid virus but I'm back but will post a little slower then I have been, even if Im not posting I'm writing. And as a side note Diamond Blackfan Aneamia is not made up, its a very rare form of Aplatsic Anaemia that basically means your bone marrow does not make enough haemoglobin (red blood cells) in some cases none at all its a horrible condition that I was born with and the reason that I am now confined to my house for a minimum of twelve weeks as the treatment destroys your immune system. Hence why I have been away trying to sort out food and medications ect which has been hell!! Any way enough of that I hope you enjoy xx
Taglist: @thatgirly81 @two-unbeatable-beaters
"Oh darling...look at all of that hm? Its dripping on the covers, such a messy girl" he said shaking his head a little tutting you watched embarrassed as he let it drop to the bed your arousal forming a small wet puddle beneath it. He crawled up the bed stretching out beside you and snatched your tablet from you.
This was hell..you decided..absolute hell you were stuck indoors on lock-down, now usually you didn't mind being stuck home with Henry ,honestly you preferd it but you normally found yourself tangled between the sheets or watching tv. Then again normally when Henry was home it was a break from filming and he had nothing to do but this time Henry had been down in the gym everyday keeping up his work out routine making use of his new glute drive or as you had dubbed it 'teasing thrust machine'. You could understand in some ways he wanted to make sure that he was still in shape for season two of the witcher when ever that was going to start.
But you were bored Henry had chuckled saying he would play with you after his work out....which you knew would last most of the day, you had been watching him earlier but got kicked out for 'pOuTiNg LiKe A SpOiLt BrAt'..you had bristled at him when he called you that..you wasn't a brat..you were a good girl, most of the time. Ok so you'll admit you had been sulking a little jealous of the equipment I mean the only thing that man should be thrusting was you and he had brushed you off then the little shit started teasing you with unnecessary grunts groans and a wink as he worked out.Bastard. You huffed kicking at the mattress below you growling and pouting in a small tantrum 'twelve weeks, twelve fucking weeks of staying inside what the fuck are you supposed to do for twelve weeks? that's like quarter of the year!' you was one of the 1.5 million who had to stay indoors for twelve weeks due to your diamond blackfan anaemia which is basically anaemia caused by bone marrow failure as a result you was on a corticosteroid that surpressed your immune system...Yay you just hoped that your blood count doesn't drop to far it'd just be your luck to need a transfusion and catch this fucking thing in hospital.
Tv was a no go every channel reminding you of the virus with the latest bullshit statistics and politicians giving the same ' we followed expert advice' reply to every question disregarding state that the nhs has found itself in. But this was driving you crazy just the idea of being stuck here for three months didn't sit well with you. You sighed rolling over on your back on the bed spread eagle in one of Henry's tshirts tho tight on him you drowned in it. You could hardly believe how bored you was there was so much you could do in this house yet you just stayed there staring at the ceiling.
You huffed again looking around the room your eyes locked on your little red bag stuffed haphazardly between the bed and side table, you smiled slyly you knew he wouldn't be pleased but he was preoccupied and wouldn't even know, its not like he was going to be finished anytime soon and you could always have a shower afterwards. Slowly you crept up the bed towards your naughty little bag of goodies. You had made full use of the valentines day sales in February and bought some new toys online intending on using them whilst Henry was away filming, however there was still a few you hadn't yet tried.
You pulled the 'makeup' bag from beside the bed dumping it on the pillow on your side of the bed and got up closing the door grabbing your tablet from the dresser. If you was going to do it might as well do it properly already knowing what you was going to watch opening an incognito tab going straight to your favorite video which wasn't actually a video, it was an 'erotic audio for women' you didn't really want to see some women ooing and ahing rolling their eyes to the back of their head like some fucking exorcism video as they got plowed by some stick figure 'stud'. You settled on the bed near the head board unzipping your little treat bag pulling out your new fully charged mini vibrator with tiny flicking rabbit ears sprouting from it .
Quickly getting to work you dragged it softly between your folds laying back with your knees up spread, letting yourself get lost in your fantasy one that you hadn't dared let Henry know, it was too early in your relationship to be going into kinks yet especially yours , you was still coming to terms with them yourself let alone letting him know ,hell he would probably run for the hills. No instead you let your mind wander images of Henry teasing you,praising you how he'd call you a good girl before caging you underneath his huge form asking if you was going to be still for daddy. Fuck. You twitched hips jerking lightly you bit your lip and lowered a hand to your lips pulling them apart running the toy to your opening teasing yourself into wetting the toy with your arousal then bringing it back towards your clit as the deep voice on the audio spoke low commands ordering his babygirl what to do.
You shivered as you fell into a slow rhythm of circles on your clit before flicking on the vibrator gasping loud as the ears came to life trapping your swollen clit between them. Oh yes this was money well spent you summarized when you unconsciously curled your toes digging your feet into the bed below trying to keep yourself still determined not to pull the toy away from your throbbing clit as your pussy came to life ,muscles rippling and clenching begging to be filled,you gyrated moaning out as your legs tensed turning up the vibrator you bucked as the voice on the audio praised you growling out just what they were going to forced your body into. You threw your head back as you slowly inserted the small length into you a tiny stretch nothing like Henry but still pleasurable with the tip angled slightly towards your gspot lightly grazing it , you cried out as you rocked the toy side to side within you rubbing it harshly across your gspot forcing shock waves of pleasure through you as your tummy tightened.
So lost in your own fantasies you fail to notice the door open quietly. You moaned loud finding that perfect rhythm obeying the audios instructions. Flicking it up a notch determined to force yourself to cum you let out a sharp squeal as the new intensity almost burned your clit, the little pain sent you over the edge your whole body shuddered as your back almost cramped as it arched your hips wriggling into the small powerful device ,you bit your lip trying to be quiet as your hand let go of the toy hovering uselessly between your legs as you jerked against it still having waves of your climax wash over you as the toy abused your almost raw clit.
Not able to take anymore you swore as your fingers searched blindly for the toy wanting to turn it off before you got to tender. You screamed snapping open your eyes as you grabbed a hot wrist instead. Mortified you stared at Henry making to move away Your squeak of surprise became a high keen as the vibrator shifted when you tried jerking away throwing your head back as another onslaught of pleasure overcame you, some how your humiliation of being caught made it more intense as you release over the still vibrating toy swearing loud. You couldn't believe he had caught you,he was hovering over your form one hand moved grasping the toy between your still quivering thighs twisting it slowly forcing you to buck you clit twitching as the flicking ears moved slightly. His eyes were dark and he had a wicked grin.
"I thought I'd told you to wait? I wasn't going to be long" his deep voice brought you out of your shock. You quickly made a move for the vibrator wanting to pull it out and hide under the covers.You mewled as he batted your hand away holding down the button stopping the assault on your clit, having sex with him was one thing but this was the first time he'd caught you masturbating and you was extremely embarrassed thankful that the short video had finished, thank god for small mercies. Your eyes widened and you quickly flipped the tablet cover shut putting it to sleep desperate to hide your kink. You flushed as he raised an eyebrow at you still amused then without warning he pulled out your new vibrator making a fuss over the now soaked rubber.
"Oh my god Henry no!" you slapped your hand on it trying to tug it back panicked desperate to hide the video from him not ready to explain to him, he chuckled prying your fingers off and easily wrestled your arms into one hand holding them away from himself pinning you with his body weight ready to snoop at your open tab.
"You know I have always wondered what little kinks you have babe" he said flipping it open, you struggled against him
"Henry love please don't!" but it was to lat he had already begun to scroll threw the page clicking back a page looking at exactly what you had searched tucked your head into your chest feeling even worse then you did before. He was quiet for a moment ,you held your breath waiting for him to make fun of you but he didn't instead he closed the tablet again sliding it across the bed and tugged you beneath him growling.
"Fuck I should have known, shit babe you might just be the perfect woman for me" he grunted pushing his bulge against your still sensitive clit ignoring the damp patch you made on his bottoms you yelped jumping away only to be dragged back down onto him he found your neck quickly suckling at it kissing and biting.
"So tell me what other little secrets does my baby girl have?" You shivered relishing in being called his baby girl he groaned rocking into you.
"Hm? You know if you don't tell daddy what you want he cant provide it,come on baby girl tell me, I want to know everything" he grunted you moaned out as he tugged his tshirt off of you leaving you bare below him.
"P-pleease please I want you" you made to wriggle your hands out of his grasp but he just pulled them to his mouth laying a delicate kiss on your palm. Whimpering you pouted at his devilish smile.
"Ah ah you should ask daddy nicely" you flushed gasping at him "I-I but you and I'm not sure-are you sure Henry I don't want to force anything if your not comfortable-" he smirked at you enjoying just how cute you was stuttering over your words, it was so unlike you normally you were blunt and to the point, his grin widened and he leant in close running his nose along the new bite mark adorning your neck before whispering hotly into your ear
"Now now baby girl this is perfect i always fantasized about you being daddies little girl, letting me take care of you..why don't you tell daddy what you want ask nicely and I might just reward you" you trembled feeling your inner walls clamp tight you let out a breathy moan still uncertain of yourself he encouraged you again
"come on baby, if you don't ask you wont get tell me.. tell daddy what you want"
"I-I want t-to play daddy please? Please play with me I'v been a good girl" he chuckled sucking your earlobe into his mouth running his teeth across it then pulled back looking you in the eye
"Good? Oh baby I dont think so" you whined at him pouting tugging on your hands grinding your his on his bulge making him hiss he just squinted stareing down at you as you argued in a high whining voice
"Yes I haaaave I left you alone when you told me tooo don't be mean" he tutted tilting his head looking at you from the top of his eyes unconvinced
"And why did daddy have to make you leave the gym hm?" You stuck out your bottom lip pouting kicking your little feet at the bed he smiled at that knowing full well you was giving into one of your fantasies, unknowingly giving him one of his he felt excitement bubble in his chest knowing that he was going to enjoy himself, brat taming it seems was something you both had in common. He struck your hip lightly making you gasp and squirm beneath him
"Don’t be such a brat" he growled out at you, his stern voice made you pause a little before you grunted at him facing away from him nose in the air.
"Im not a brat" He chuckled sitting up using his thick thighs to keep your legs spread for him releasing your hands crossing his arms at you unconvinced.
"Oh really? So you wasn't pouting down stairs? And I didn't just find you up here trying to fuck yourself silly out of spite? because daddy told you to wait? And you didn't just kick your legs at me? Hm? if you were standing I'd bet you would have stomped a tiny foot Oh no baby girl you are definitely being a little brat" you blinked at him innocently he just tilted his head at you. The reached over you grasping your small bag you gasped he wouldn't...he fucking would"No henRY- ouch!" He fixed you with a small spank to your inner thigh holding your embarrassing private bag up in one hand.
"Oh no little girl you dont say no to me.... now lets see what we have hear.... oh my I knew you had some toys stashed somewhere but baby theres quite a bit in here isn't there" he shook the bag slightly making the contents rattle a little you flushed panicking a little not wanting him to judge you, but so far he had seemed to be on board. He unzipped the bag going still at what laid inside, you cringed covering your face with your hands hiding feeling him stare at the top of your head you refused to look at him, in doing so you missed the grin that had formed as he noted what was inside.
Slowly one by one he began removing things his grin getting wider with each toy as he place them on the bed beside you, You snuck peaks at him as he pulled them out. First was a set of four pink leather cuffs with frills on each a big lobster claw on each to connect them as you see fit at the moment they was connected in a pair designed to cuff your wrists to your ankles holding your knees bent and spread they looked secure, you doubted they would actually hold you properly then was your wand vibrator a pastel blue this was followed by two more vibrators one just some rabbit ears on their own the other a red dildo that was a little larger than the one Henry had caught you with he held it up to you looking sympathetic
"Henry what are-" he gave you a heated look making you clench and whimper shrinking into your shoulders a bit.
"oh baby no wonder your so desperate when i come home...this is the biggest you have? my poor baby don't worry daddy will think of something to help you when he is away" you blushed as he spoke he gave you a smug smile then continued routing threw the bag, an o ring gag and ball gag then what you had really dreaded him seeing your new paci-gag the pink leather was decorated with small jewles here and there, it was something you'd always wanted to try and in the sale you'd thought what the hell and got one. he held the paci-gag in his hand blinking at you
"now this is very cute, but I’m not sure if we should play with this today, maybe you can ware it tomorrow for me in the gym when I’m working out" you closed your eyes groaning but at the same time you shivered in anticipation the thought of him gagging you and forcing you to sit and watch him work out was both cruel and delicious. He placed it back and unbuckled the cuffs with deft fingers stroking the soft padded insides making sure they would be soft enough running his thumb across it. Your eyes snapped open flinching as you felt him slip one around your ankle buckling it tight before slipping the top of his pinky underneath it
"Ah ah don't start young lady, its daddys turn to play and he want's to play with your new toys now stay still" you squirmed a little still uncomfortable but you let him carry on until your arms were pulled down your sides attached to your ankles knees bent high and pulled apart you quivered thrilled and frightened all in one, he sat back again admiring his work also wanting you to get used to it.....He could defiantly get used to you like this his mind already creating a shopping list... tho he wasn't sure if a sex shop was considered as essential but fuck if he wasn't going to check online to see if anything could be delivered,he was ecstatic that you was a secret baby girl and couldn't wait to treat you like one, he smiled as you tested your new bonds uncertain eyes darting back to him every so often finally you pouted a little huffing.. you didn't look impressed and he regarded you carefully
"I can't get out of 'em" he through his head back laughing loud so that was the problem? you thought you'd wriggle free and it turns out you really was at his mercy, it was clear that you thought you would be topping from the bottom Henry on the other hand had other ideas
"I think that's the point baby girl" he said running a large hands along your thighs pressing them apart slightly his heated skin warmed you casting goosebumps on your flesh you wriggled again
"I thought I could get out...but I really don't think I can" he leant over between your spread thighs meeting your lips sucking them lightly before kissing you encouraging you to open your mouth for him you did letting him in, his tongue licked at yours coaxing it out to play twisting and tasting passionately tilting his head kissing you rougher and deeper making you moan melting into him then he pulled back you tried to follow lifting your hands to catch him, to bring him back you whined trying to fight the cuffs wanting to touch him. He chuckled at that placing a hand on each thigh massaging the insides slowly kneading the muscles with his fingers.
"I think they will work perfectly don't you? I didn't do them to tight did I?" You shook your head before trying to twist your hand free again growling now realizing the down side to the small restraints you wanted to touch him, kiss lick and bite at him... especially bite in that moment when he was sitting back watching you in a smug amusement. You felt giddy with excitement just laying here spread open knowing that there really was nothing you could do to stop him made your tummy flutter feeling your clit throb erratically at the mere thought of being at his mercy. You relaxed a little you couldn't help wriggling now and then trying to free your wrists on impulse he shook his head at you.
"Oh honey your not getting out of those until I say but before we move on your word is going to be cherries you know what that means?" You blinked at him and nodded slowly he looked at you waiting for you to agree verbally
"S-safe word?" He nodded eyes lighting up knowing now that you knew more about this then you was letting on, he turned his gaze back to your half empty bag
"Now lets see what else should we play with today? I don't think we will use gags today...will make use of them tomorrow I think" He said moving the remaining items in your bag about he smiled then you watched as his hand pulled out a slim jeweled butt plug still in its packaging he quickly rid it of the bag twisting it to the light letting the gem catch the light making it flicker onto the ceiling
"Oh look princess isn't this pretty? Don’t you think it would look cute in your little bottom? I know I do and you haven't used it yet" he stated happily you squirmed pulling at your cuffs again feeling nervous
"Have you ever used one before baby girl?" he asked noting your unsure expression you shook your head a little . you had never used one before you tried to convince yourself you got it on a whim but you was actually curious he brought the slim purple plug to your pussy coating it in your arousal you flinched as he directed it down to your pucker
"D-daddy?" unconsciously trying to wiggle away making him hold you still with one hand on your tummy
"Don't worry baby I'll take care of you I promise now take a deep breath baby its ok that's it good girl, your being so good for me, my special little princess" you did as you was told on auto pilot warmth bubbled in your chest at his praise. Taking a deep breath in when he bent over your vulnerable form again this time kissing your cheek one hand between your legs tweaking your clit then rubbing your opening tracing circles with your wetness the other holding the plug firm against you he rested his head next to yours whispering
"Now out and push with your bottom good girl, so good for daddy hm?" you tried breathing slow pushing with your bottom but you hissed out your breath sharply when he pressed the plug into you stretching,you whined a little as it stung when the largest part pushed past the ring of tight muscle you tried to push it back out yelping as he pushed past finally then you felt a small popping feeling as your ass hugged the plug tightly holding it securly in your bottom
"Ah! Fuck...Oohh shit that's weird" you panted feeling full as the plug pressed against your insides in a strange pressure he kissed you again tapping the jewel on the small plug
"Such a good girl look at how pretty you are! you took that much better than I thought especially for your first time,I must warn you that I will be getting a set of these for you some will be for play like now and others will be for a naughty little girl who needs to remember to mind her daddy" you twitched moaning imagining being punished with a larger plug when he was unhappy with you
"Oh you like the idea of that I see? the idea of me putting you in the corner with a well spanked plugged bottom? even better if the pug is keeping it full of daddies cum?" gasped at the thought twitching you had no idea just where all this dirty talk was coming from but it was driving you crazy you rocked a little feeling your throbbing walls contracting left disappointed when you was left empty you winced trying not to move so much as your ass felt... strange, tight you wasn't sure clenching and unclenching you moaned tilting your hips down almost trying to escape the uncomfortable yet fulfilling stretch. You whined withering still tugging your wrists. He moved closer fingers grazing your pussy lightly tapping and flicking at your clit toying with the red sensitive bud, you arched as high as you could trying to rock into him gasping feeling the plug touch something deep with in you
"Ah! ohnonono! I don't-daddy? Whats going-ugh!" You squeezed your eyes shut at the feeling your pussy weep onto him he pinched your clit at the base before rolling it around in his fingers tightly, you cried out feeling the warmth of his skin tugging and twisting at you panting shallow breaths
"Ah oh GOD da-daddy please I'm sorry I FUCK! I didn't mean to be a brat Ple-please!"you begged squirming around as much as you could. Feeling your body shiver as your pussy wept onto the bed below wetting your ass as it ran down in a steady stream he continued toying with you building you up towards a slow but incredible climax, being so vulnerable was giving you a brand new high feeling yourself get hotter as liquid heat raced through you rocking lightly against his fingers chasing your orgasm wanting him to hurry up... you wasn’t one for edging you wanted to get this show on the road, wanting to feel him brutalize your insides with his cock whilst calling you his good girl, wanting him to choke you whilst praising you for be so sweet for him. Your thoughts were cut off as he began growling into your ear as he pushed you closer and closer to the edge
"I know.... I know baby.... you just cant help it can you? So needy and wet for me... but you should have waited for me shouldn't you? You should have waited for daddy but no you wanted to be a brat, you wanted me to find you up here with your toys Didn't you? Well what ever my princess wants she gets you want to cum?...I can tell by your little whimpers..don't worry baby daddy will make you cum heh..I'm going to make you cum until you cry and even then I might not stop, no I might just carry on and fuck you until I think you've got exactly what you deserve for being a horny little brat, fuck you until your little pink pussy is red ,sore, swollen and messy with daddies cum" You whimpered as he growled out his words and placed one thick finger at your entrance before plunging it in rubbing around your walls you yelped as he pushed down massaging the thin wall separating him from the plug wedged in your ass you bucked crying out loud widening your thighs as his large digit ran across the bulge of rubber, you cried rearing up shaking as you came over him panting trying to kick your bound legs he chuckled still knuckle deep
"Oh baby that was quick.... you know good girls say thank you we shouldn't forget our manners now should we?" you groaned feebly
"Th-thank you daddy....Thank you oh god no no more please" he tutted shaking his head a little and pulled back starting a slow rhythm finger fucking you curling down to run the tip of his finger around the plug. He slid to the side slightly trapping on of your knees between his thrusting vigorously into you using his strength to rock your body along the bed adding a second finger as he went. You grunted and yelped at him as he began moving faster scissoring the fingers stretching your still shaking muscles as he went deeper trying to massage every spot he could find. You froze tensing as he lifted his thumb rolling it around your clit in harsh strokes, your breath caught in your throat clenching and squeezing his fingers you moaned throwing your head back mouth open letting out loud lewd noises the sound of his fingers dragging in and out of you with wet slapping sounds.
"Oh god that's it baby, yes good girl are you gonna cum? Huh? you want to cum for daddy? Don’t you? Fuck that's it good girl are you ready princess daddy wants you to cum all over his fingers again baby can you do that for daddy?" You body trembled and you shook violently as you felt yourself try to grind down on him reaching your third orgasm of the night quicker than the ones before, a slight twist of his wrist was all it took hitting that soft spot inside of you making you cum screaming arching and withering below him you tried closing your leg on impulse it was too much! but the cuffs held strong making you wail as you was still held open for him unable to avoid him, he didn't let up pressing his fingers harder against your spot forcing your pussy to spasm again flooding over his fingers once more so intense it was almost painful you tightened around his fingers forcing them still enduring the longest orgasm of your life, you could barely breath through your moaning and panting.
"No nononono! I cant please I need a break PLEASE PLEASE!" He pulled his hand back showing some mercy and watched you go lax humming as your body trembled in the aftermath, dazed looking through half lidded eyes at him. You was greeted with a cheeky smile
"Oh princess that was so cute...but you did forget to say thank you I suppose I could let you off for the way you were whimpering and trying to rock onto my fingers so sweetly, heh you didn't know of you wanted more or wanted me to stop did you? tho that only makes three tonight and your not crying yet" He teased licking his lips taking in just how flushed and sated you looked. It wasn't enough. You just laid there panting trying to calm down completely exhausted, and you hadn't even had sex yet he was still just playing enjoying himself.
"I-I need a nap, or a break something fuck" he grinned showing off his prefect teeth reaching slowly for your wand
"Oh baby girl no what did I say?" You lifted your head not trusting his sly voice, your eyes widened and you wriggled desperately to get away shaking your head as he brought the wand towards your tender clit your insides still contracting from the powerful climax's he had pulled form you
"No nono daddy not yet please Im not ready-I cant daddy noOOAH!" you tried to plead with him but to no avail squealing when he flicked on the wand powerful vibrations tickled your engorged clit and labia making you tense fighting your bonds having the opposite effect as the tugging on your wrists just widened your leg revealing more of your sore clit to the offending rubber
"Ohh yes baby girl I told you your going to cum until you cry and I meant it" he growled as you screamed out, still far to sensitive to handle the torturous wand yelping when he laughed flicking it higher. Unable to hold back as another climax tore through you this time was different you felt a strong gush of wetness leave you for a second you though you'd pissed yourself but no you had infact just squirted for the first time in your life you looked at him gobsmacked weeping as one last stream of cum gushed from you making you wail twitching and rocking against the wand shaking your head vigorously embarrassed by what had happened wanting him to stop but at the same time wanting more. He pulled it away leaving you to heave deep breaths weeping quietly
"Fucking hell baby I didn't know you could do that.....again I want to see it again" he grunted looking like a man possessed caging you below him as he reattached the wand to your pussy this time rolling it in tight small circles pupils blown wide as he watched you intent on getting you to squirt a second time you withered arching and tensing your stomach clenched tight and you jolted as he flicked up another setting
"No no I cant FUCK!" You cried low and loud
"That’s it baby one more, just one more and then I will fuck you, doesn't that sound nice? I will fuck you nice and deep and full" you moaned grunting out protests biting your lip trying to keep quiet, he wasn't having that quickly moving his hand to your opening rubbing it lightly forcing you to clench you cried fat tears rolling down your face you blinked sniffling trying to arch away from him crying out in a hoarse
"Open your eyes little one...look at me that's it oh such a good girl you want it? You want to cum again for daddy?of course you do now cum!" You looked at him watching threw blurry eyes as he praised you, screeching and thrashing around as he forced that rubber band to snap again as you released again one long stream of hot cum washing over the evil toy. You panted gasping aching a tired he put the wand back in your bag. He returned between your legs tugging on your plug lightly then eased it from you, hissing sharply as it stung as it breached your pucker again he placed that back in your bag opting to wipe them down later. You whimpered tears still streaming down your face as he slowly unbuckled your wrists and ankles pulling your legs to lie flat against the bed rubbing away the ache you sighed as his hot hands massaged the ache away watching as he pulled his clothes off slowly winking at you teasing as he revealed himself to you slowly stripping down to nothing before kneeling on the bed kissing his way up from your ankle swapping legs lathering them with soothing licks and sweet kisses.
"God I love you woman, your just to perfect, I'm so proud of you love" he muttered running his hands in soothing circles on your tummy moving them down to your knees pulling you down the bed you cringed as your embarrassingly huge wet patch was now at your back. You blushed as he kissed you again slow and hot this time wrapping your arms around his neck deepening it he grunted hoisting your heat to his erection, skimming it across your slit teasingly before settling it at your opening you pulled back quivering "Fuck your so hot baby girl" you moaned at him tilting your hips trying to engulf him smiling sweetly at his gasp. Without wasting anymore time he pushed forward embedding himself fully you gasped swearing as he grit his teeth no matter how many times he fucked you open he was always amazed at how tight you was. You hissed enjoying the slight pain that always came with him.
"Sh-shit Henry fuck, that's so good hah fuck" he placed his forehead against yours closing his eyes tight locking his jaw loosing himself ,this has got to be what heaven felt like nothing could compare to your hot walls coiling tightly around him he pulled back before plowing back into you his cock rubbing across your insides teasing every nerve inside of you caressing your depths unlike any toy ever could you moaned trying to rock with him groaning in frustration when you couldn't quite match his movements, he chuckled tilting his head kissing you again sweetly before raising himself on his arms above you
"Aw baby your just to tired aren't you? stay still let me do it" you nodded balling your hands into fists hugging him feeling his back muscles work as he started a fast deep pace hitting your cervix with every thrust of his hips you mewled widening your legs lifting them high on his hips opening your eyes looking down watching as his perfect abs contracted with each brutal pound of his hips, he foĺlowed your gaze smirking smugly feeling the way your body tensed below him.
"That’s it baby look at how well your taking me, how hungry that little pussy is swallowing me whole even when it hurts" he thrust harder holding still a few seconds against your cervix making you grunt uncomfortably before he resumed his pace holding below your knees pushing them beside your torso tilting you up the new angle meant he was dragging the tip of his cock along your most sensitive spot inside of you you kicked your legs out a little squealing high as he continued to batter your insides.
"Ah oh fuck ‘Im gonna cum again, shit Henry fuck I cant stop it" he grunted loud with each thrust growling low in his chest as your pussy tried to trap him inside with all its might trying to milk him for all his worth he lost him self hanging his head fucking you harder then ever before unable to hold back as he chased his own end
"Good I don’t want you to now cum one last time NOW!. AH AH FUCK OH SHIT YES" you cried out as his hips stuttered forcing you to release around him as he fucked his cum into you, painting your insides with his seed groaning loud trying to prolong your orgasms by thrusting against your twitching walls grinding on your sore clit then gasping for breath he chuckled low making you twitch around him. Collapsing on top of you leaving open mouthed kisses and soft bites on your neck.
"I love you so much...so so much" It wasn't long before he rolled off of you knowing he was to heavy for you swapping positions holding you on top of him feeling his cum leaking from you he smiled kissing your damp hair.
"So I think its safe to say that we both enjoyed that,I never thought you’d be a baby girl tho, but the signs were all there I should have known the way you keep yourself fully bare, your lama teddy on the bed, don't think I haven't caught you cuddling them and your collection of cute oneies, it all makes sens" you grunted softly going a little red
"Y-you don't think its weird do you?"
"I think its just about the sexiest thing I've ever fantasized about, now that I've fucked my very own baby girl I don't see my self stopping anytime soon. What else are you into, ever thought of pet play always wanted to try that." You lifted your head shocked
"Really? You don't think I’m a freak?" He laughed hugging you tight kissing your head
"No not at all in case you didn't notice I may have a slight daddy kink and size kink and spanking kink fuck I just about want to try everything with you, now like I was saying pet play? Yes or no?" You blushed pulling away from him opening your bed side draw his jaw dropped when you showed him your fluffy kitty ear hair clips and small choker with a bell on it. He smiled wide before pouncing on you pinning you beneath him kissing you
"Fuck my very own sex kitten, here all this time? You sneaky little girl what else have you been hiding?" You giggled at him shrugging
"Nothing that's it, I-I like other things to but haven't got anything for it. I thought you'd be put off so I couldn't risk you finding it and didn't want to talk about it I was embarrassed." He tilted his head at you
"There’s nothing to be embarrassed about love, you enjoy kinky sex so what your not the only one I do to, I enjoy dominating my partner pet play daddy kink, slave and master you name it anything like that, anything where Im in control, I love being bigger and stronger than you being able to just man handle you." you tilted your head a little
"Soo roleplay? like teacher student or boss and sectary....in the study or something.... and maybe spanking me when I'm bad? I mean just saying now you can spank me anytime" you twiddled your thumbs as you asked blushing letting out a few more of your fantasies
"Defiantly all of the above but I think you may regret telling me I can put you over my knee when you deserve it..but no being naughty just to get one you hear me little girl? you don't have to bad be to get a spanking if you want one you can just ask.... but in all honestly one of my biggest kinks is squirting I found that embarrassing but when you did....oh fuck knowing I did that to you I couldn't get enough, just wanted to see it again and again.... but honestly my most embarrassing kink is well... I've always...shit this is quite difficult actually" he stuttered rolling off of you sitting up smoothing over his hair you sat up placing the ears and collar on the bed before placing a hand on his thigh.
"You can tell me, we can try anything once to see if it fits us both" you encouraged lightly he sighed blushing a little before continuing.
"well I've always kind of wanted to fuck someone in character" you blinked at him slowly not really seeing the problem
"Hold on... you mean to tell me that I've fantasied about getting railed by August walker and all I had to do was ask? How fucking dare you keep that from me you little shit" you scolded slapping his chest lightly his face was comical it was very rare to catch him off guard but by the look of shock on his face you knew you'd done just that.
"S-seriously? You wont mind doing that? you wont find it strange or anything?" You scoffed
"Fuck no, why the hell do you think I'm on tumblr?! ninety percent of the time Im reading about you in some way shape or form. I do have two conditions tho ,first you can fuck me in what ever character you want when ever you want just give me a little heads up so I know if I'm dealing with a scary Marshall or sweet Clark and two when you finish filming witcher get your ass home as Geralt and fuck the living day lights out of me deal?" You held out a hand he looked at it then saluted"Yes mam" before throwing himself at you
"GOD I knew you was the one for me" you squealed giggling as he tickled you with kisses soon you both got up stripping the damp bed you blushed seeing just how much mess you had made
"Don’t worry babe I will get some towels specifically for this type of thing, maybe microfiber they might not chafe when I’m fucking you, after all now I know your a little squirter its my new goal in sex, orgasms are good but I wont be happy until you’ve gushed all over our bed, hell I’m gonna find a way to make you squirt on my cock" you groaned covering your hot cheeks making him laugh.
"Lets not and say we did?" You answered he shook his head lowering his face to your ear grunting into it
"Well kitten we have got twelve weeks together lets not waste them might as well learn a few new tricks any way where did you get all of that stuff?" You groaned smiling as you got up again ready to tidy up.
"Bondara I think"
"Are they still delivering through this pandemic" you pulled on Henry's tshirt bundling the sheets in the laundry basket
"I’m not sure I will have to check-hey what are you doing?" you quickly stepped up behind him as he sat on your tablet going on to bondara
"Holy shit they are!? ok babe lets do this so plugs, yep oh look this set has heart jewels on them add to cart... oh here look if I spend forty five pounds I get a free dildo worth one hundred pounds now lets see paddles oh I wonder if they have that clone a willy kit that would be good for you when I’m away..... what type of paddle to you want babe? never mind it doesn't matter you wont like it anyway it will be for when your naughty anyway" you froze watching as an amused Henry sat on the bed happily scrolling through the site maybe this quarantine shit wont be so bad after all.
#henry cavill x reader#henry cavill imagine#henry cavill fic#henry cavill smut#henry cavill#quarantine writing
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im sure it’s not helping that it’s 7am and ive barely been social all day, which has been making me steadily more and more upset and disgruntled
but im just like. once again incredibly frustrated at the whole endogenic thing. i think the worst is how some people in that camp act like people with Actual Disorders think they’re “better” than endos for having gone through the requisite trauma, like it’s some kind of superiority complex
like. why on earth would being traumatized be a flex? i don’t think i’m BETTER than anyone else for having been abused or something, i’m just incredibly fucking bitter that when it comes to a childhood trauma disorder, people who claim not to have childhood trauma want to be “part of the club” and speak for people who have it and constantly draw comparisons and get mad whenever people with the disorder attempt to set a boundary.
being traumatized is not Kewl and it actually sucks even worse to have your experiences constantly dismissed by people who do have a critical fucking lack of perspective and severe dose of entitlement. it’s not that you don’t belong in spaces for people with a trauma disorder because trauma is ~clout,~ you don’t belong in spaces for people with a trauma disorder because you don’t have anything to offer these people for recovery. you don’t understand what it’s like to have DID or OSDD by virtue of being “endogenic,” and by your own fucking claim you lack even the same basic experience (prolonged childhood trauma), so you can’t speak to that either.
like, you want in the goddamn clubhouse so fucking bad? fine. go ahead. sit and listen to people with the disorder talk about their lives and their struggles and what happened to them to force them to develop it in the first place. i GUARANTEE you will not want in anymore, because it isn’t a fun cute game, it isn’t just quirky wacky alters holding hands, it’s serious and it’s life-altering and it’s dark. what you’re asking for isn’t access to an exclusive social hangout or cool fun community, what you’re asking for is access to support groups for incredibly traumatized people. if you don’t understand that, you have fucking issues.
like, i don’t care about any of this dumb bullshit beyond that, honestly. stop DEMANDING that people with DID and OSDD make space for you, stop sending anon hate to people who run trauma-focused blogs for people with DID/OSDD only and who don’t want you around, stop acting like DID and OSDD are at all related to your identity spectrum LGBT ripoff nonsense, and for the LOVE OF GOD stop talking about DID like you know jack shit about it and have anywhere CLOSE to the right to disseminate facts about it when i know full well none of you dumbasses have ever even thought to pick up a book first. for real. being endo and part of the plural community or whatever the fuck does not make you a DID expert nor does it give you the right to speak on the behalf of people with a disorder you DO NOT HAVE, nor to dispute its etiology because you take it personally for some inane reason. shut up. just don’t talk about DID or OSDD at all ever and leave people who have it the fuck ALONE and stop using their medical terms. why do you feel so fucking entitled to what absolute threadbare little trauma survivors with extremely stigmatized mental disorders have. go away. you don’t need it.
#im so fucking bitter about this it makes me insane sometimes thinking like#this issue has spread so nightmarishly far it’s all some people know about DID#like congrats! you’ve forever misinformed tons of people and made it even harder for people with DID to talk about their lives!#because now there are armies of dumbases who think it’s not a trauma disorder!#you did it!
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I just started tracking my heartrate and discovered it went a lot higher than i expected for mild exercise
and then discovered ppl managing their CFS by keeping their heart under the point where anaerobic bullshit happens were setting that limit to shit like 5-15 above resting heartrate
Which would be like 110bpm for me or something, definitely under 120
And my heartrate taking the dog out to the paddock was easily getting to 140, and then 160 going up a short hill & up the stairs to my bedroom
I am having a PSYCHOLOGICAL time right now
has my recovery been so slow because ive been routinely blowing past the limits i should have
I got to sleep at midnight and just woke at 5am and haven't been able to get back to sleep
I could have been tracking my heartrate this whole time, i could have been using my phone for it since i got the new phone, and i cant decide if i hate myself more or if im angrier at the medical people who let me down, the cfs expert who was just like "oh some ppl find it useful" dismissively when i brought up the idea. i should have been proactive about it anyway... i want to blame someone else but i feel like the biggest person to blame is probably me
im trying to reassure myself that im in something of a crash rn and havent been sleeping enough and i might be able to do more without sending my heartrate up than it seems now but 😐🙃
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Loyalty (has always been a flimsy thing)
Lovino’s eyes are closing. The wound is too deep, and the blood is flowing slowly from his torso. He holds back tears of pain and makes sure to stay as silent as possible. The gun feels heavy in his hand and his grip is still strong even through the blood loss. He is ready to shoot anybody that dares to approach before the help Antonio is sending him arrives. He doesn’t even know if that help will arrive, much less if it will arrive on time. He can only hope by this point.
The world seems blurry and his head is hazy. Securing the cloth he is using to stop the blood from leaving his body he lets out a hiss of pain. It hurts so much, so fucking much. He wishes the pain just ended but refuses to give in to the exhaustion and the need to just take a nap. A little voice in his head whispers to him that a little short nap never hurt anyone in the past. He tries his best to ignore it.
He is almost at the brink of falling asleep- dying, he is almost at the brink of dying when he hears a noise in the distance. He doesn’t know whether it is from a friend or from a foe, so he grips his gun and raises it, pointing it to the doorway in front of him. His head quickly whips to the left alongside his hand, pointing at the left of the room where another doorway stands.
The man that stands there is significantly handsome, with spiky and quite unnatural blond hair. He just looks at him, as surprised as he is; it takes him no longer than three seconds to remember who he is. That the man is not just a stranger. He still has a firm grip of the gun, but he doesn’t want to shoot.
“Ma-Mathias”, the man’s name comes out forcefully from his lips. He can barely breathe nor talk without feeling the blood rising through his throat and he is probably going to die today but he doesn’t want to die like this oh god just save him and it hurts like hell.
Matthias looks at him noticing the wound. The moment the man steps forward Lovino moves the gun if only a little, making a garbled sound of warning. They are enemies, and Lovino isn’t letting him get near him.
“Lovino, hey. I’m not- I am not going to harm you in any way. Look, that’s- that’s a lot of blood”, even Mathias looks unsure about what he is about to do. “Please, let me help you. I know we are on different sides but I owe you my life and you’re my friend.”
He isn’t that convinced, but if he doesn’t receive help soon he is most definitely going to die. He doesn’t want to die, so he slowly lowers the gun.
“Good”, Mathias says as he approaches him.
The blond man lowers himself to his knees, taking out a medical kit from one of his many pockets. Lovino can’t help but feel immensely grateful when Mathias stabs him with morphine, because the pain had been hellish. He rapidly relaxes as he feels expert hands working on his wound, having already cut the cloth around it. It stings a bit, but even then the only thing he truly feels is how cold the needle is.
It seems Mathias isn’t happy about him relaxing, because just when he is about to give in to sleep the man slaps his face gently.
“Hey, Vino. How have you been lately?”
The question barely registers, and he takes a few seconds to answer it. “M’fine, have been better”. And he has been better. Right now he just feels drowsy, and sleep seems like the best option. He knows that he shouldn’t, he could die, but he is exhausted and sleeping seems so important right now.
“How’s it been going with Antonio?”, because if Mathias remembered it right, Lovino and Antonio were dating.
“A’stupid a’sever, I love ‘im though”, he tries to answer as clearly as he can, but it comes out more rushed that he thought it would.
Mathias’ hands suddenly stop moving as they grab the scissors and cut the string connecting to the needle. He winces at how weird it is to feel the string move through his skin, but relaxes again in less than five seconds. He tries to look at Mathias as well as he can, because his head is pounding, and the walls are moving.
“Thank you.” No more words are needed. Mathias nods and then stands up, fast, and begins to leave.
He stops at the doorway to the left.
“It was nice to see you again, let’s hope we can meet again in different circumstances”, there is longing in Mathias voice and he can’t help but agree.
He wants to reunite with his friends again, regardless of which side they’re on, and eat Mr. Zwingly’s chocolate as Mr. Edelstein discusses with them how annoying some musicians he knows are. He imagines Matthew having arguments with Yao over the slightest thing, while Alfred spends time with Arthur preventing him from even approaching the kitchen. Ivan would be seated next to Gilbert on the couch as the latter tells his brother Ludwig and Feliciano about his latest endeavors. Mathias would brag about his latest hits to Tino, Emil, Berwald and Lukas while Kiku spends his time cuddling with Heracles as he talks to Sadiq and Gupta about politics. Lovino would be with Antonio whining about the loudness of the reunion before going to the kitchen to start preparing food. Ferdinand would be there too, with João at his side. Vladimir would arrive only once Feliks and Toris arrived themselves. Raivis and Eduard would arrive together, yelling at each other but eventually getting drunk enough to declare their undying brotherhood to anyone and everyone who would listen.
But Lovino knows war isn’t fair, and even in his fantasies he thinks about the fact that not everyone will get out of this war alive. That they are not that lucky. Have never been that lucky. In the foggines of his mind he remembers his twin brother’s words of despair, uttered in that horrible mansion with no sense of time and space, about how daunting everything truly is. About how meaningless things can be sometimes. That he doesn’t understand how wars can be fought when there’s obviously more important things to fight for. Lovino agrees.
As he hears the faint sound of footsteps and someone he is sure is shouting his name, the world finally goes dark.
Mathias doesn’t know what he just did. He had been about to sneak into the enemy camp when he saw Lovino, weak, defenseless, bleeding and potentially dying. He had to help him. He knew he shouldn’t have, he wasn’t stupid. Romano Vargas was in their kill-on-sight list thanks to his uncanny abilities to kill people with their own weapons. Personally, he thinks it suits the italian: using his enemies’ own weapons to kill them seems like the sort of poetic justice bullshit Lovino would love. The thing is, he had hoped nobody saw him. When it came to traitors and treating enemy soldiers they had strict rules.
Mathias doesn’t want to be executed. He might be a high ranking soldier, an Oberst, but he isn’t as ready to die for his country as others. Defending his people to death is definitely one of his goals, but he does it for the people themselves, not his land. He isn’t that patriotic. The blond doesn’t really believe he would be able to live knowing he let one of his oldest friends die from blood loss, especially knowing he could have been able to prevent it.
Now he wishes he knew how to explain this to the familiar finnish man pointing a shotgun against his head.
“Nice going there, Den” the sneer in Tino’s voice is clear. They had never gotten along and they wouldn’t even try to see each other's faces if they could help it, but they were ordered to work together and Tino is dating Mathias’ brother so they can’t really do anything about it. “Do we have a tiny rat in our ranks?”
He swallows, “Look, Tino, it isn’t what it looks like-” the cold feeling of the shotgun against his head makes it somewhat harder to speak.
“I didn’t see you healing our enemy? Nursing him back to health?” and Tino sounds so judgemental. “He might be our friend, but we are in a war, Oberst Kohler! A war! We got no time to go around helping the men that are helping to massacrate our soldiers, our people!”
“But it was Lovino! It wasn’t just a random man! It was our friend, someone we spent hours, days, weeks,and years alongside with!” Mathias takes a deep breath, because he is this close to having a panic attack. “Vino saved our lives dozens of times, I am just… returning the favor. This is the last time I do this, Tino, I promise. Please, please, don’t tell anybody. I am no traitor, please.”
Mathias can’t help it and his voice breaks towards the end of the sentence, but the pressure of the shotgun against his head disappears and when he looks at Tino the man looks conflicted, resigned and his eyes adopt the softened look that is mostly reserved for Berwald, Lukas and Emil. Tino lets out a sigh before the hardened sharp look is back.
“Just this once, Mathias. If I see you doing something so stupid again, I won’t doubt it. Not even once.”
“I know.” The words leave his lips softly and weakly, a murmur that he knows Tino barely catches.
They leave a bitter aftertaste, because Mathias knows in a deep part of his heart that if the occasion arises again, he will help with no doubt.
He realizes something in that moment, and it is that despite the fact that he is one of the best fighters from their mismatched group of friends, he wasn’t made for war. He isn’t strong enough for it. Perhaps none of them were, he reflects, maybe they just had different reasons and that helped them fight. Mathias just wants to go home alongside Lukas, and he can only wonder what Tino wants as he looks at his stoic figure walking across the field (and Mathias knows that beyond that stoic exterior Tino is just a soft sappy idiot).
He takes a deep breath and the exhales. He grabs his gun close to his chest before continuing scouting, decidedly ignoring what Lovino’s presence means.
(He hears the shots and goes running back to his camp and they have to move further back because somehow the Spanish forces managed to ambush them. He feels bad for the dead, and he can feel Tino’s judging gaze, but Mathias decidedly ignores all of it and tries to help as much as he still can).
Lovino wakes in the morning, two days later. He feels sore, has a headache, his torso still hurts a fucking lot, and he can barely open his eyes without hissing like a goddamn cat. He is half pressed to blame Antonio for this, but he resolves that maybe it is not the best time, and that Antonio technically didn’t have anything to do with it. Still, he wants to blame someone, and the man who did it is already dead.
He blames (and thanks) Mathias, for nursing him back to health. The field medic doesn’t even let him sit up, which irritates the hell outta him, and the fact that he hasn’t seen Antonio since he woke up worsens his mood. He tries to take deep breaths, no need to explode at an innocent soldato’s face.
The moment Antonio crosses the door Lovino opens his mouth to say something insulting but interrupts himself after noticing the blood in the other’s uniform. His worried eyes quickly turn to scan his fiancè’s body, noticing Antonio fiddling with the hem of his uniform, but no injuries are in sight. Antonio is just as worried as he is.
“Come, tomato jerk, give a goddamn hug before I change my mind” he says, already seated, as he extends his hand to him. Antonio doesn’t even doubt it and he suddenly has his arms full of a Spanish man. The emerald eyed man is obviously trying not to mess up with his injuries, and Lovino readjusts his posture slightly so his lover doesn’t hurt him accidentally. “I’m sorry for worrying you.”
“I thought you’d die. The moment I kneeled there, in front of you, and held your hand. When you told me to go on without you, that you were going to be fine and that you only needed a gun...” Antonio lets out a sob, muffled by Lovino’s neck. “It felt like a goodbye. I thought when I came back you would be dead and the medic would arrive too late, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.”
There is desperation lacing tomato jerk’s cracked words as he goes on, so Lovino hugs him tighter and murmurs reassuring words to him to try and calm him down, and when that doesn’t completely work he interrupts him.
“Toni, per favore, listen to me. Common mio amore, listen to me.” His italian accent becomes more marked, and Antonio stops talking completely, panting slightly. “I’m alive, and here, and at your side. I won’t leave in a very fucking long time and you’ll be so done with me that in our next life you’ll hate me. You can’t get rid of me that easily, tomato jerk. Never.”
“I’d never hate you, Vino. Never.” Antonio slowly lets go, standing up and wiping off his tears. “The medic says you’ll be able to fight again in about two weeks. He says he can’t give you longer since we have a deadline to get back this sector, but you may rest meanwhile. I do have a question, though.”
“I don’t know whether to be happy to get permission to do no shit, or be angry that I am bound to a fucking bed for two damn weeks. Whatever, ask away.” As there is no one there but his fiance he decides he is still childish enough to lay down and bury his face in his pillow in an act of pettiness.
“When the field medic got there you were already treated. He has asked around the camp but it seems it wasn’t one of them. Would you be able to name who did it?” Antonio asks, tilting his head in curiosity.
He is fucking adorable, Lovino aggressively decides.
He wonders a bit, and even entertains the thought of telling Antonio the truth but ultimately puts it aside. Knowing Mathias saved him would probably affect Antonio’s efficiency in the field if they go against him again.
“Way too hazy, I remember little about it, I do remember he was blond, but that’s all. He asked me questions, to keep me awake. I think I ended up talking about you at some point?” He answers, making sure to hesitate a little. Lovino knows how to lie well, he had to learn when he was a child. But Antonio usually knows when he is lying.
“I’ll ask around then, coulda been one of the members of the 158th Regiment, since they’ve been around patrolling” the Spanish man thinks out loud before zeroing his eyes in the Italian. “I’m glad you’re alive”, he mutters softly.
“Me too.” And Lovino can only remember the times in which he would have answered with a I’m not. “Me too, Toni. Me too. I am happy you’re here.”
“By your side? Always.”
#timethatbindsustogether#aph south italy#aph romano#hws romano#hws south italy#aph spamano#aph spain#hws spain#hws spamano#aph denmark#hws denmark#aph finland#hws finland#lovino romano vargas#war au#i should write nice things#but i wont#cause i cant#maybe i can?#i'll try to write fluff someday
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A complete guide to how the asexual community is NOT lying about the pathologization of asexuality and how many aces(even young ones)have had their asexuality tried to be“fixed” and “converted back to normalcy”
Trigger warning : Conversion therapy,abuse
As if the so called ace “”discourse””( which has till now involved aphobes and exclusionists comparing ace people to nazis,pedophiles,white supremacists,slave owners,homophobes, ,talking over ace WOC by white people, telling ace people AND kids to kill themselves,victim blamig and gaslighting ace victims of rape, putting extremely graphic sexual content into asexual tags and sending sexual content to ace minors and adults who are are suffering from sexual trauma even after they told them to STOP ) could not get any worse, we now have these pathetic excuses of human beings accusing ace people of lying about their trauma and abuse just so that they can justify their harassing of ace people.
Im TIRED of seeing these “”highly intellectual people”” keeps repeating bullshit arguments so im gonna make this post addled with appropriate resources and links to handle these two topics:
How asexuality is pathologized
Can the abuse and trauma ace people go through when people try to “convert ace people back to normalcy” and “fix” their asexuality really be called “conversion therapy”?
This is gonna be long,but i hope you will stick with me though this because im going to try as much as possible to make this as source-fuilled and educational for yall. So here we go:
1. Has asexuality really been pathologized?
Short answer,Yes. Many mental health professionals had consideredasexuality an illness throughout history.There are many articles talking about it.Up till 2013, indicators of asexuality like lack of sexual attraction,sexual fantasies towards other people, lack of interest in sex etc were basically classified as Hypoactive sexual desire disorder in the DSM which was revised just to include that all those indicators WOULD be considered as a “symptom” of HSDD unless a person self identified as “asexual” which wasnt much useful since not everyone(especially young people) might know that they are ace and can be pressured by their peers into going through the “treatment” for HSDD .They did the same thing before they removed homosexuality from the DSM.
Heres the long answer :
Throughout history , asexuality has brought out bigots to talk about how “unnatural” it is and how it obviously is a “mental illness/disorder” bc experiencing sexual attraction is always considered an inherent experience to almost all living beings.There are many medical and psychological articles either directly referring to asexuality as a disorder or referring its main indicators like “lack of sexual attraction,sexual feelings towards other people”etc as a mental disorder.
But the most well known instance of pathologization of asexuality is the HSDD (Hypoactive sexual desire disorder).It has been in both The International Classification of Diseases and Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders both which are used by mental health professionals and psychologists to diagnose people.
There was a huge pushback against HSDD by asexual activists bc it categorized all indicators of asexuality like lack of sexual attraction,sexual fantasies towards other people and lack of sexual desire etc as a disorder.As a result, asexuality was officially given an exception in the DSM-V by stating that if a person experiencing all the symptoms of HSDD self ID’d as asexual then they wont be diagnosed with it.This seemed a good enough thing to do and acephobes keep bringing it up to show how “different HSDD is from asexuality” and how “The medical world has “”accommodated”” itself for the comfort of ace people” but this act and the whole concept of a “Hypoactive sexual desire disorder” are considered problematic and have been put through questions not only by ace people, but feminists and activists too . Heres why :
1. The person STILL has to identify as asexual to be not diagnosed.Asexuality still isnt as visible and well known of an orientation so if a person doesn’t know that they’re asexual, the DSM does no work to sufficiently differentiate between these “sexual disorders” and a sexual identity. so it could very well happen that someone who doesn’t know that they’re asexual is convinced by a therapist that they have a sexual abnormality that needs to be corrected(x) .Taking into consideration the fact that a lack of sexual attraction is still seen as a sign of “brokenness” etc , the aphobia ace people face from their peers,how sex is seen an inherent part of one’s relationship and the immense number of ace people who experience internalized aphobia, theres a higher chance of ace people being pressurized into lying about not being ace and being made to go through treatment of HSDD .
2. The asexuality exception is not included in the diagnostic criteria, but a different part of the text. The desk reference version, which is the smaller version most psychiatrists will use because the actual DSM is a monster of a book, only contains the diagnostic criteria. So, unless a doctor is very familiar with the update DSM, you could still be diagnosed despite identifying as asexual. (X)
3.The DSM is put out by the APA, an American organization and is not used internationally in ALL countries.The international appx. equivalent to the DSM is the ICD (International Classification of Diseases) where an exception of asexuality is NOT made like they did in DSM-V. So many countries where DSM-V is not followed are free to diagnose ace people with almost no repercussions.
4.There is till NO distinction made between HSDD and asexuality and all indicators of asexuality are still considered “symptoms” of HSDD. the DSM does no work to sufficiently differentiate between these “sexual disorders” and a sexual identity. so it could very well happen that someone who doesn’t know that they’re asexual is convinced by a therapist that they have a sexual abnormality that needs to be corrected(x) Just putting “All these signs are of HSDD unless a person identifies as asexual” is literally the same as saying “Being attracted to the same gender and/or being attracted to more than two genders is a disorder unless a person identifies as gay/bi”.In fact a very very similar thing was done to homosexuality in the DSM before homosexuality was deleted off entirely as a disorder.
5.Im not even gonna get into the fact that alot of people have pointed out how the big push to keep HSDD in the DSM came from the pharmaceutical companies who need this diagnosis to exist so thatthey can market a drug called Flibanserin and both of these thingshave been called out by both ace as well as non ace feminists bc studies showed it improved very little in terms of sexual satisfaction in its participants and has potentially big risks(x) and MANY women disinterested in sex(weather ace or not) were pressurized to undergo treatment of HSDD and use flibanserin bc of the misogynist belief that women need to put out more than care about their safety white taking it bc thats not the point of this post.
But just for yalls consideration : Just bc there is a disorder in the DSM doesnt mean that its legit.Female hysteria,homosexuality were considered disorders.As an amazing post here said : “until psychology stops operating in terms of “inappropriate behavior” and starts looking at patients’ experiences of symptoms as stressful and unpleasant, it will be an enforcement of ableism first and an aid to the mentally ill last.” . Unless someone goes through some trauma which make them LOSE their capability to feel sexual attraction and desire,i’ll consider any “disorder” which automatically assumes lack of sexual attraction and desire “unnatural”, as doubtful .
So yeah , asexuality still technically remains pathologized and ace people still are at a risk of being diagnosed and being forced/pressurized to undergo treatments which arent usually even that effective and have health risks associated with them.On to the next topic :
2.Can ace people call the trauma and abuse they went through when people tried to “convert ace people back to normalcy” and “fix” their asexuality “conversion therapy”?
First off, Read THIS And THIS. Now,
Short answer,Yes. Maybe they might not be under the threat of going through the EXACT conversion therapy which involves basically torture and is legal in like 36/41 states IN AMERICA but then again, so arent those gay people who didnt/dont/wont be living/going to those 36/41 states IN AMERICA but have/are/will be tried to be “converted back to” straightness by their peers.Any way in which non straight people are forced/pressurized to be converted into straight by so called “professionals” and “medical experts” counts as conversion therapy to me bc at the end of the day it doesnt really matter WHAT word you define it as when those trying to “fix” non straight people’s non straightness view those non straight people as someone who needs “fixing”.
Also, saying that ace people’s experience when their peers were trying to “fix” their asexuality isnt AS bad as what gay people go through when their gayness is tried to be “fixed” is…not a good thing to say.Trauma isnt a competition.Telling a person with a sprained leg that another person has a fractured leg doesnt make the first person’s sprained leg hurt any less
Heres the long answer :
Here is the thing.The most “well known” conversion therapy(and in aphobes’ case,the conversion therapy they keep bringing up to discourage ace people from calling their trauma involving attempts to fix them “conversion therapy” ) is the one which is legal in 36 or 41(The data keeps differing from diff sources) states in AMERICA ONLY and basically involves showing homoerotic images and videos to gay/bi people and inflicting some sort of violence/harm on them when them and/or their mind and/or their body shows any sort of interest on such images till they form an aversion to same gender attraction and other forms of torture.I described it as PG rated as possible but if anyone is interested and is NOT at the risk of being triggered they can read the whole process here(x).
Aphobes keep arguing that since no clinic advertises that they will “convert ace people back to normalcy” ,and even IF some ace person IS forced to undergo treatment of HSDD ,their experience doesnt matches the EXACT amount of abuse and trauma gay people go through during conversion therapy, aces arent “allowed” to call their experiences “conversion therapy”.Now , anyone with common sense and general morality will realize how bullshit this is bc aphobes are just putting their american centric rhetorics over ALL aces in THIS WORLD(bc they are ALWAYS considering the american conversion therapy)but i’ll still just prove how WRONG this argument is :
1.This argument is only AMERICA CENTRIC.Aphobes keep saying that since ace people dont go through the exact conversion therapy which is legal in 36/41 states in america,they cant call it “conversion therapy”.Now america is only one country.There are 193 countries in this world.The “valid”Conversion therapy is only there in america.But HOMOPHOBIA is there in ALL countries of this world.Now, If we consider aphobes’ argument as legit, then it would imply that any gay person who suffered through the trauma and abuse of having their identity turned into “straight” by their peers in any country OTHER THAN AMERICA CANNOT call their experiences “Conversion therapy”.That means all the gay people who faced torture in russia (especially in Chechnya)to be “fixed” cannot call their experiences “conversion therapy”.Gay people in Brazil and Jamaica who are tried to be “fixed” cannot call their experiences conversion therapy.I live in south asia,we dont even HAVE any special places dedicated to “convert” gay people.But there are many instances where gay people are hauled to the nearest “religious medical practitioners” who abuse and torture them for WEEKS to “cure” them.I guess those gay people cant even call their experiences “conversion therapy”.THIS IS HOW RIDICULOUS APHOBES SOUND.
2.Not every ace conversion therapy is caused by going through the treatment of HSDD : There are many ace people who have been told that it was their asexuality ITSELF that was a disorder and went through abusive therapies to “cure” it which led to some people ending up self-isolating until they ended up in a psych hospital and some people felt broken and alone after that(x).Many health professionals simply pass off asexuality as some symptomatic of deeper mental health problem and thus not every ace who might have been tried to be “converted back to normalcy” might have been gone through quite a rough treatment too.
3.Telling people that their trauma isnt “”really that bad”” isnt a good thing.Telling them that their trauma dosent really “”qualify”” enough to be considered “”real”” conversion therapy isnt good.Oppression and traumas arent a competition.The abuse and torture gay people go through during conversion therapy isnt gonna make the trauma ace people go through “better” or less severe.Telling women that “at least they arent being human trafficked and beaten by their husbands everyday like in middle east” isnt gonna make them feel better when they are catcalled or sexually harassed at work.If ace people are tried to be “”fixed”” by being forced/pressurized undergo “” treatments”” by so called “professionals” and “medical experts” , it counts as conversion therapy to me bc at the end of the day, ace people’s orientation is still being seen as “something to be fixed into straightness”.
So yeah, ace people CAN call all the abuse they go through to be “fixed” of their asexuality “conversion therapy”.Now that we are done, here are a few examples of ace people talking about their fears and/or experiences about conversion therapy which i havent provided already
If you really want to respect lgbtqa people who have gone through conversion therapy,try to make this world a better place for lgbtqa people so that their identity isnt seen as something to be fixed.Telling group of people you are bigoted against that they cant call their experiences of tried to be fixed “conversion therapy” isnt gonna do SHIT to help the community you think you are trying to protect.Saying that No ace person has EVER went to conversion therapy bc there are “valid proofs” is disgusting.
Asexuality IS a highly marginalized orientation and all your refutes against it WILL be debunked and shot down bc we have sources and real people’s accounts on our sides which is supported by many prominent lgbtqa organizations across the world.All aphobes have is bigotry and a bunch of followers who eat up whatever they say without applying any critical thinking skills to it.
#aphobia#tw conversion therapy#mod roma#ref#tw abuse#if you want this tagged with more triggers please tell me i will#i dont have time rn coz i gotta do something#imp
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andy i need your professional reanimator opinion on something... is meg a medical student? like does she go to miskatonic? or is she just hanging around there sometimes bc it's where her dad works.. im getting conflicting sources on this.
now i need to rewatch with extra focus on her & slap together some kind of theory based on any tiny details we can scrounge up but for now heres my thoughts on megs potential careers:
astronaut
early childhood education but kinda wishes she was an astronaut
mycologist who gets really fucking stoked when she sees a cool mushrom
enthusiastic worm expert. like mary applehof. imagine her face lighting up when she gets really into talking about worms & the clueless bliss in dans eyes as he listens
illustrator who gets so sick of herberts bullshit that she drops everything & successfully invents a way to reanimate the dead without causing a ruckus out of pure spite
cute librarian whose job is keeping a haunted library from tearing itself apart on a daily basis
a young katherine mcmichaels who will fake her death & change her name to avoid being associated with All That Bullshit
dracula
a really convincing android spy who went rogue after falling in love
secretly a murderer who doesnt want herbert to succeed bc shes worried someones gonna tell on her for killing them
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people around here don’t like to wear their masks and i just lose my mind bc me and my fam are all pretty high risk and none of us are vaccinated but we still need to go out to buy things like food!
the whole anti-mask rhetoric is so wild, and based on bullshit.
‘it makes it harder to breathe!’
nurses and doctors and other medical pros where them all day every day, sometimes more than one at once. if you are truly having breathing difficulties it might a) be a psychological thing where you’ve convinced yourself you can’t breathe with a mask or, b) you have an underlying health condition and need to see a doctor or, c) you are using a fabric that doesn’t allow for breathing well and need to change that.
i have asthma and im fine with a mask, i know folks who need oxygen tubes to breathe and theyre fine with masks. theres only a couple medical conditions that medical experts say make it difficult to wear a mask, and only a very tiny percentage of people have those conditions, and if they do they generally should just be staying home anyway since Covid is so damn dangerous.
idk, it just pisses me off because other countries did full quarantine and lockdowns, have been social distancing, and wearing masks and their new cases are at zero!!!
every time i go out to run errands for my family, my life is in danger along with that of my elderly grandmother who lives with my immediate family.
my family’s friends from the other countries that are doing so much better than us literally cannot understand why we are so anti-mask and anti-caring about other people.
if you really care about frontline medical workers, listen to what they say and wear a mask, wash your hands, social distance, and take care of each other.
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Sorry to rant but im gonna have to, first off being obese is a choice? Not always many obese people suffer from mental illness which adds to their obesity so get back in your box anon. second of all noone on this blog disses people with mental illness amber for example is very aware of her mental illness and gives advice out on it she never shuts up about it but she doesnt follow any treatment plan shes said herself she doesnt need to she knows her own body or some bullshit like that 1
amber is aware of what she needs to do for her mental illness but uses it as an excuse to excuse bad behaviour like she couldnt see leah because she was too depressed but she was in LA with her new bf at the time, 2nd cate she always went against drs advice and was told to stop smoking weed as it would effect her medication she still carried on smoking it, most people think its great shes now taking it serious but shes been to the same place 3 times and we wish she would stop taking mtv with 2with her to film because clearly whatever she is doing isnt working she needs to heal and work on herslef without a camera in her face but i think and most people on this blog are hapy for her to be going back to treatment and hoping she gets better soon to be able to enjoy her life and nova, 3rd jenelle well she was diagnosed with bi polar but she claims it was mis diagnosed jenelle seems to be just a immaute selfish druggy who thinks shes speaicla because mtv has inflated her ego too much, 3could it be mental illness? possibly but does that mean its an excuse to ignore her children being abused? no it doesnt as for farrah i wasnt aware she had a mental illness, theres one thing having a mental illness and not acknowledging it but its another to acknowledge it and act liek you are an expert giving out awful advice when you go against drs advice yourself, and anyway amber hasnt been on medication for a while andrew has cured her mental illness she said so herself 4———————————————————————-A wasted effort on people like that other anon who would prefer to call it a “double standard” instead of seeing the difference between what is actually talked about here. Body shaming has always been a no no on this blog, but I suspect anon-troll has just hopped over from twitter to mouth off because they’ve spent the last week abusing Kail there and didn’t like someone calling them out on shitty behaviour.But for the record, 100% agree with you.
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spn 8x19, liveblog, collected posts (all 16 of them) or as i like to call it: Trials!Sam, Trials!Sam, Trials!Sam!!!! Kevin’s also good. You better protect my boy @ The Winchesters.
Poor Kevin :/
#@ Crowley stop bullying my boy!
I love that Garth’s tooth thing just continues this season
#like he went to medical school to be a dentist and instead killed the tooth fairy #now hes at the dentist #nice
“were gonna need an expert” Lets Summon a Crossroad demon!!
#also sam buries the box and it’s a dude *eye emoji* #like dean even comments on it
“You act like you know us?” “Of course, you’re the Winchesters.” Asdfghjk
Sam being led into a dark alleyway for… hand holding asdfgh
#and it gets creepier says it all I think
The fact that the reaper just left Sam in purgatory makes me so mad!
#sam deserves so much better
Aaaand Dean just lost his pie again
#dean and pie: an unfortunate and drawn out love story with so many misses #by now we all just want to see it end in hard vore
The reaper scene in the car with Crowley has Big Horror Movie vibes
#the monster lurking on your backseat #the closing car doors #the scrambling for the door handle but it wont open
Sam in hell!!!
#big boyking energy!!!
Naomi is such a manipulative arse!
Benny is the best person ever! I love him so much!
#also god im feeling emotional for dean too now #killing someone you love is really fucking hard probably #ive never done it asdfh #but dean is so heartbroken
The fact that Bobby also shits on Sam for thinking Dean was dead (AND IN HEAVEN) is such bullshit!
#im gonna fight literally everyone here ever #im so tired of the Dean Show
Again with the fucking knife sharing
#BOYS NO #i don’t even know why it grosses me out so much #like its bad enough that the cut themselves with this old ass knife that regularly stabs all kinds of monsters #but then they just cut themselves right after each other not pausing to wipe it off or anything? #Yuck. Yucky. Yuckiest. #like full body shiver
Crowley is such a dipshit!
#and naomi is really creepy for a hot minute there
Ahhhhhh more hurt!sam
#also the its done… my gay catholic ass…. Messiah!sam!!!
Poor Kevin :/
#now hes having hallucinations with Crowley which tbh even without the fact that he claims to have killed linda would be nightmare inducing #i just really fucking hate Crowley!
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