#im just living my life
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not actively wanting to lose weight as a fat person already means people are gonna raise their eyebrows at you but if you express that ‘liking being fat’ might also include not minding gaining some more weight people will straight up riot. its like if you MUST be okay with being fat you better stay that exact weight forever and ever
#im not actively trying to gain and i dont really. have any reason for that opinion i just would be fine gaining weight or losing it.#whatever.#im just living my life
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One of my partners and I got our nails done
It was my first time, and I chose a cat eye
The thing about me is I'm unfortunately a nail biter so they had to add an extension on my nails
They did add a nail oil!! So maybe my nails can recover
I'm hopefully gonna break my nail biting habit
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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three cheers for. squareflake revenge or whatever. etc
#never thought I’d live in a world where i had an excuse to draw dnp demolition lovers BUT HERE WE ARE#EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU DAN AND PHIL CRAFTS!!!!#im having the time of my fucking life. i don’t even remember the experience of drawing this#i just blacked out and the spirit of crafts possessed me and when i came to it was on my canvas. Amen#god im having so much fun.#dnp#dan and phil#phanart#AND AS ALWAYS. FOR OUR FORMER GLORY#phan
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losing my actual mind rn
i had this interaction in the dropout discord (i am the first and third person). short. simple. i only got the first year bc of a discount + a gift card i had, so i was planning on using this person's suggestion.
then, i got this.
oh my god!! how nice!! how sweet!!! how thoughtful!! i gave them my email and they sent over a subscription, i thanked them profusely. i was very grateful, very touched.
hours and hours later i was still thinking about it and i recalled how, in the email id gotten about it, it said "tao yang sent you a subscription" and id seen that and thought "oh haha like the tao yang" and then moved on
but now, thinking back, i was like.... theres no way, so i googled tao yang.
......
TAO YANG BOUGHT ME A FUCKING ANNUAL DROPOUT SUBSCRIPTION
#tao yang#dropout#dropout.tv#dimension 20#AAAAAAAAAAA#losing my literal actual mind#i think hes so funny#i was already rly grateful and touched and now im just like flustered and starstruck#this is quite literally the most celebrity interaction ive ever had in my life#and i didnt even realize while it was happening#now i want to message him again but i feel like thatd be weird#sam responded to my question once and i still think about it now months latwr#bc THAT had been the most direct celebrity intersection id had#and this was like six levels above that#crazy world we live in#anyway. i have dropout again!!!! yippee!!!!
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#this^ is so real rn im so sleeep deprived it's crazy and im fighting the urge to ruin every relationship in my life UGHHHH#IK I SHOULD JUST SLEEP IMMEDIATELY......#maybe i'll take a sleeping pill like i can't keep living lije some sort of tortured demon#🧷
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nibble (photo ref here!!)
#like father like son (they salivate too much)#like if dad!ghost lives a silly life.. dad!soap lives a very VERY chaotic one#his son is a MENACE (just like him LOL)#first few years of his fatherhood is like wtf?? and his spouse is like “bitch our kid's EXACTLY LIKE YOU???”#ok im very tired from cleaning all day gonna turn in early babes mwaHHHH#my art#2024#call of duty#call of duty: modern warfare#call of duty: modern warfare ii#call of duty: modern warfare iii#cod#cod mw#cod mwii#cod mwiii#modern warfare#mw#mw2#mw3#soap cod#soap mactavish#johnny soap mactavish#dad!soap#art#fanart#digital art#digital drawing#sketch#doodle#video games
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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im a simple guy! i think about puppy Barnaby. i promptly explode into bloody heart-shaped confetti
#just a little guy learning to be tall... hard work#now if yall will excuse me im gonna shove my head into boiling water#that oughta fix me#pls enjoy the additional scribbles of his Attempts#they were too important in my mind not to include#godddddd i love himmmmmmm just a little guyyyyyy#i gotta puzzle out how to draw ms beagle#ive never drawn a chicken! much less a chicken puppet!#wait no sorry that was a fucking lie#i have drawn like. 2 chickens previously In My Life. i think... i could be wrong!#ive never claimed to have a working or reliable memory <3#scribble garnish#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#barnaby b beagle#hes just so small and sweet and immmmmm IMMMMMMM#unwell. simply unwell yes yes#there's no saving me! leave me for the vultures! allow me to live up to my url!#puppy barnaby already makes me feel as though my ribcage has been cracked open#might as well let the scavengers have a Taste. im sure im delicious!
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netflix u Have to be joking
#id in alt text#my vibes rn [picture of a mummified taxonomy rat that has been done by someone who never saw a rat in their life)#this is supposed to be. positive???????#i just. are we seeing the same thing????? we all agree that momo is fucking ugly????#anyway let’s pray this is the last time i speak abt the live action im going back to pretending i don’t see it#send post
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the mighty nein - critical role
this is a place where i don't feel alone.
this is a place where i feel at home.
#also with softer vibes. i offer They#every silly little brainheart found family deserves a to build a home edit#the mighty nein maybe most of all. thats my family#also the lyrics deliciously well suited to m9.#when jester pulls that. stupid tarot card for fjord. home or traveler. and there's a carnival wagon. and veth says Thats Us! . them#i just think about . the tower is their home the xhorhouse is their home the lavish chateau is their home the balleater. the mistake.#the nein heroez. veth and yezas apartment. the dome. fjord and jesters living room floor.#a bar with a silly name on rumblecusp#also like. the song has stone and dust imagery. gardens and trees.#the inherent temporality of life and love and how that holds no bearing on how greatly people can love. im losin it okay.#ive been making this edit for days straight with my computer screaming at me for trying to shove 143 episodes of cr into a 2min20sec video.#crying becuase. theyre a family do you get it. they were nine lonely people and most of them had given up on seeing their own lives#as something that might be good. something that might make the world a better place. and in the end they're heroes.#and it doesn't matter if no one else knows because They know they're heroes. and they wouldn't've believed that was true when they met.#rattling the bars of my enclosure. to be loved is to be changed#posted on twitter and want to get in the habit of posting here too bc.#general reasons but also bc . i have noticed some of the ppl liking/sharing it are also ppl who shit on my ops by vaguing about my posts#which is in general whatever but does leave a funny taste in my mouth.#critical role#the mighty nein#cr2#caleb widogast#caduceus clay#jester lavorre#fjord#veth brenatto#yasha nydoorin#beauregard lionett#mollymauk tealeaf#my posts
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woag .. otp
#fma#royai#riza hawkeye#roy mustang#talking to user chrysopoeias reminded me of this doodle i posted on twitter ages ago#im too dumb to make analysis textposts with my opinions so you get (checks notes) royai experiencing post nut clarity#about how funny i think it is that riza bases all her self value into how useful she is or isn't being#while roy is like wow.. i love riza can't believe she still by my side after all i've done ..#in the hospital scene after the lust fight where roy is scolding her there's a part he says he's going to keep trusting her with his back#and she looks genuinely surprised as if she really expected him to just throw her out because she failed and lost her utility#when he's mostly angry because riza gave up on life so easily and he doesn't want her to die. he can't live in a world without her#riza babe ur so mentally ill <3
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penelope featherington would’ve slayed so hard as a character if she went for the men of the ton as an anonymous gossip sheet. LIKE full anonymity and that kind of influence as a woman..just to regurgitate what the average member of the ton is already itching to say about young girls who can’t defend themself? like all the mystery and allure of the column just to humiliate and ruin WOMEN using the established rules of the PATRIARCHY?? WHATS even the point then?! countess boochie flagrant ass character
#any hating aunty on the sidelines could’ve done that too#anthony is my best friend but she could’ve ATE him up so many times in that show and it would’ve been warranted every time#but its always just ‘vulnerable girl who’s life will be destroyed by me writing this’#i rebuke thee white devil#SHOW penelope btw. book penelope im sorry for what they did to you. on all fronts#colin. idc if you live or die. show or book#bridgerton#bridgerton*
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something something i am made up of multitudes
#mine#original#ough kittie.s...little kitties#ive been busy n tired so no fancy drawing#we r heading.....to the city im getting my top surgery at today...#surgery is TOMORROW. okay#im like not nervous about the surgery im more nervous abt being reliant on my mother jfdbgfgfdj hmm#this morning she was like why are you in a funny mood and i was like i NERVOUS and she just said nothignn gbkjbgkjbgjkre#if my child was nervous about life changing surgery i would maybe say something to comfort them#anyway#anyone in their early 20's living w their mother deserves some kind of medal#shes like insane. shes asked me three time if the breast tissue will. grow back? no? it will not????#she use to be a NURSE#whatever#keep me and my insane mother in ur thoughts i may lose the will to live in the next coming weeks
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my feelings on romance really aren't complex tbh. i enjoy making meaningful and long lasting connections with people and i've definitely loved some of them in ways that wouldn't be considered platonic by an outside observer, but when it comes to the concept of "romance" and romantic relationships i'm just like
#🐉#like ill say i love someone and people will ask me why i dont 'tell them how i feel' and make it exclusive and all that#and im like. well i dont need them to want to be in an exclusive romantic relationship with me. im happy just being one of the#important people in their life and someone they enjoy spending time with and seek out for company#whether we live together and see each other every day or only a few times a year#and i DO tell them i love them and trust that my words and actions show them how i feel#idk
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Ok, as your resident cowboy enjoyer and person who works at a shoe store take hermitcraft*+ but what cowboy boots they would wear. Don't ask why just accept this
#oh my god that fit everyone somehow#cowboys#also all of these boots are from Ariat#and yes joe and cleo got 2 they are special#im sorry im not adding 30 image tags but it is just 30 consecutive photos of a cowboy boot next to a minecraft skin#also can someone please give me hermitcraft as cowboys fanart I need it to live#how do i tag this#meme#hermitcraft#life series#limited life#ranchers have infected me#assigning
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