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ticklikeabomb · 4 years

Text

Epimetheus : Spill the Mead (part 3)

Pairing : Avengers x Plus Size Reader ; Steve x Plus size Reader

Warnings : Language, Sexy times mentioned

Word Count : 2.3

2 weeks after the stand-up show

You were currently training in the gym squatting your life out, your ass chicks fuller than air ballons, when you heard someone enter the room. You didn't pay attention and continued your workout by switching to the treadmill machine. You opted for a half-hour running session before your legs gave out completely. Lifting your head up, you noticed Sam who was running next to you, a small smirk on his face. Frowning you breathed out a small, "What's with the face?". He chuckled, shaking his head slightly and replied, "Oh nothing, just wondering some things." Perplexed you let out a small "Ok" and focused back on your steps. Two minutes later, he spoke up, "You know what's funny?". You rolled your eyes figuring out something was coming and turned to him sarcastically, "No but I feel like you gonna tell me." "You and Cap have been avoiding each other for the past month. He refuses to tell us why but something is odd. He keeps glancing at you but when your gaze crosses his, you both look elsewhere. Isn't that curious?", he said a triomphant smile on his face when he saw your posture tense.

"I don't know. We're busy people, maybe it's your imagination", you try to distract him. "Orrrr, maybe something embarrassing happened between you two and you refuse to talk about it. I don't know, maybe some 'fonduing'", he mimicked Steve. You both heard a huge 'Boom' to where Steve was and turned his way. He was breathing heavily, wide eyed and a punching bag on his feet opened in half. Sam burst out laughing to which Steve exited the room with a face redder than Pennywise's hair. You stopped the running mode and walked slowly in order to not get nauseous.

"That's a great theory but believe me nothing happened between me and Steve", you told him even though you knew he didn't believe you. "You keep telling that. We will find out the truth", he said before stepping out of the machine and making his way out of the room. You let out a deep breath, trying to calm down after what just happened. "Stressed much", said Natasha next to you. You jumped in place, scared of her sneak attack. "Goddammit, since when have you been here?", you commented with a hand on you heart. She grinned and informed you she's been in the gym before you stepped foot in it. "How do you do that? Ho-", "I was a Russian Spy, you know that right?" "Yeah but still, let a Sister know you're there." She laughed and put her arm around your shoulders. "Come on, let's get a shower and our comfiest clothes. Tonight it's Ladies Night."

Natasha, Wanda and you were watching your 3rd Rom Com movie when Natasha proposed to get stronger drinks. "I'll go. I need to stretch my legs a little", you told them and walked out the room. You were grabbing several bottles when his voice startled you. "Y/N? Can we t-" "Fuck, you scared the hell out of me", you shouted out. "Sorry. Eh…let me help you", Steve said seeing one of the bottles broken on the ground. "Don't ! It's ok", you stopped him. He sighed heavily and put his hand on his waist. "We should talk." You were cleaning the glass and hissed when a piece slightly cut you. He grabbed your hands and guided you to the sink. You refused to look at him in the eyes, embarrassed by the incident. "Please Y/N let me explain." You felt rage overflowing in you and lifted your head up. "There's nothing to explain. Let's just forget about it", you said bitterly and grabbed the other bottles, leaving him behind.

When you got back in the room the other two Avengers noticed your mood switch. You took the nearest bottle and chugged a large gulp from it. "Oh no dear you shouldn't have done that", Nat's voice echoed in the background. "Oh shit. Should I text Thor about the side effects? Is she going to die?", turned Wanda towards the redhead. "You do that", advised Nat while approaching you and taking the bottle from your hand. "Heyyy the fuck Nash, I was enjoying that", you hiccuped. She chuckled nervously. "Enough Alcohol for you", she mentioned and you pouted. You needed more. You needed to forget about those blue eyes, those huge arms that would wrap perfectly around your curvy body, that beautiful smile that would leave you speechless. You felt a wet spot tickling down your neck. "Come here", Wanda engulfed you crying in her arms. "Shh, it's ok. Why are you crying?" "I-Im nott cry-crying. Ma eyezz are sweat-ing", you commented. They stayed by your side until your sadness transformed into anger. "How dare he !", you said through greeted teeth. "Steve?", asked Nat. "No the Pope. Of course Steve. It was supposed to be magical. I mean who wouldn't think it would be amazing going on a date with Captain America himself", you shook your head.

You saw them sitting against the bed, waiting for you to continue and you told them everything. "It was a month ago. For some reason, Steve asked me on a date. At first, I was hesitant because I knew he had a short story with Sharon and since she's my friend, I didn't want to jeopardize our friendship and it all becoming weird. She told me, she didn't care if I was interested and should go for it, if it was what I wanted. So, I reached out to Steve and told him I accepted to go on a date for him." "Wait a second, the guy you waxed was for Steve?", asked Wanda. Your face betrayed you and they both laughed out loud. "Omg this is priceless", they giggled. You mimicked them sarcastically and they calmed down. "Ok sorry, go on. What happened then?", said Nat. "The date night came and Steve took me to that fancy restaurant. Everything was going great until Steve's eyes widened and he cleared his throat. Sharon was also there and came at our table to say 'hello'. Then she casually mentioned and I quote, 'Oh it's so funny Steve that you chose to take Y/N on a date in the same restaurant you took me.' "

"Oh he did not?", gasped Wanda. "HE DID", you exclaimed pacing in the room. "Asshole", mentioned Nat. "The thing is that I was convinced that Sharon was ok with it since she told me to go for it. It seems that she wasn't and took the opportunity to make me feel like an afterthought, like the fucking side chick. She left after that, leaving me furious and Steve embarrassed. I tried to calm down and put that thought in a corner of my brain and put on a smile. Steve seemed to calm down and apologized not knowing they would come across her and that he liked the restaurant in question. I let it slide and told him to focus on our night. He agreed and we went on." You breathed out before continuing. "So, we were chatting when the waiter arrived with our entries which was soup. Don't ask me why but Steve convinced that it was delicious and that I had to have some." You were pacing around the room frantically, talking with your hands in the air. "I don't know what happened but the next thing I felt was warm liquid burning down my fupa area and let out a scream in the whole restaurant." You stopped for a moment looking at their expression which was on the verge to crack out. "Go ahead, laugh your hearts out", you mumbled annoyed. They burst out laughing in unison. "Oh God that is…and it was the day you got waxed", hyperventilated Wanda. Side-eying them, you waited for them to calm their tits down. "What did Steve do?", asked Nat. "He just looked like a fucking goldfish, shocked at the whole scene. It was so embarrassing. I turned towards him and pleaded with my eyes to go back home. He eventually got the memo and asked for the check."

"We left the restaurant, the date being a huge catastrophe and hungry. He apologized for the evening, that it was not what he had planned. Wa arrived at the compound and told him that I needed to get cleaned. He told me to do that and then come back in the living room." You quickly passed the details of you going to your room and clean yourself, while being on the verge of crying because you were excited to go on the date with him, yada yada yada. "I finally made it into the living room 30 later and he had put on a small table with candles and roses. He had ordered pizza as well and at the end we finally got something good going on. But then…", you scratched furiously your head. "Oh no, what now?", they asked.

"Like I said everything was going great and all. At the end, we stood in front of his room to say goodbye but the tension was at its highest and we ended up kissing. It got heated very quickly and ended up semi-naked on his bed. And let me tell you, compared to Minaj, Steve's Anaconda does !", you said under the influence of the Mead. "Big Python, Thick Python too", you mimicked the very Super Soldier's length. "The man is belesssseddd in so many ways, making the whole 'God Bless America' completely accurate." "We don't need to know thatttt", whined Wanda her face flushed. "Shhht, I wanna hear the rest", shushed Nat. "Well the rest is that I was near his crotch but before going further I looked back at him to have his consent when…you ready? The Motherfucker felt asleep. Can you believe? I almost got my coochie ripped/burned and he just falls asleep on me."

"It's understandable now why you keep avoiding each other", said Nat. "I hate it. It's so weird, I felt so embarrassed. You know like I was so boring or something", you said with glossy eyes, the Mead getting the best of you. "Oh love come here", urged Wanda to a group hug. After that you felt completely drained and told them you needed to get some sleep, leaving them behind.

The next day

You woke up feeling like your head was about to explode. "Miss Y/L/N, you're attended to the conference room for an emergency meeting", echoed F.R.I.D.A.Y's voice in your room. "Great !", you mumbled. Taking your sunglasses you stumbled into the conference room. "Thank you for gracing us of your presence, Agent Y/L/N", said Fury sternly. You peaced him out in response to which he narrowed his eyes. "Is there an eye infection going on right now or am I missing something", he continued while pointing at you, Natasha and Wanda who all had sunglasses on their faces. "It's your aura illuminating the room. You have such presence Sir", you commented with a goofy smile, the last effects of the Mead still in your body. "I'm going pretend that I didn't hear that", he mentioned and began reviewing the details for the next mission. He soon let Steve take the control of the details but you were too tired to listen to anything. Unconsciously, you fell asleep and were woken up with a hand bumping violently on the table. Getting past the shock, your eyes landed on Steve's fuming expression. "Agent Y/L/N, maybe last time you should party less in order to not fall asleep on such a serious matter", he rasped. 'The audacity', you thought.

"Well Captain ROGERS, it seems that it's a recurrent thing of people falling asleep during serious matters, don't you think?", you spit in front of everyone. Maybe you shouldn't have but seeing him point you in front of everyone made you lose it. His eyes widened at your innuendo and he became redder than a tomato. He stormed out of the room, leaving the others shocked at his outburst and confused by your words. "What just happened?", asked Tony wickedly. You shook your head and stood up, leaving the room and taking refuge in your room. When you opened closed the door, you found Steve sitting at the edge of your bed. "What are you doing here?", your voice trembled. "We need to talk", he stated firmly. "I don't know what's there to be said. Actions speak louder than words", you replied.

He stood up and closed the gap, his muscular body inches from yours. You stood your ground because 1) it was your room and 2) you he had nothing to blame you for. "The day of our date, I got a last minute mission on the other side of the world. I didn't get time to sleep but I was too excited for our date." "You could have cancelled it", you breathed out. "I could but I didn't want to. I wasn't aware of how tired I was and I know it's not an excuse to what happened but I'm really sorry Y/N. You deserve the best and I didn't give you what you earn", he said taking a step behind, a small expression crossing his features. You grabbed his wrist keeping him from leaving. "I'm not gonna lie, the first part and the last part of the date was a disaster but I enjoyed the moment we spend eating pizza, the way you decorated the table just for me. For a second it made me feel special." He closed the gap again and took your chin on his hand, "That's because you are and i would love if you could get me a new chance to prouve it to you." You nodded weakly, your eyes locked with his. His lips crashed yours in a slow but sensual kiss, his hands anchor themselves on your waist making him groan. "F.R.I.D.A.Y soundproof the room", breathed out Steve. "What?", you said. "Baby I'm intending to make it up to you for the next 24h", he said before capturing your lips in a feverish kiss.

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myheadcanonacademia · 6 years

Text

The Gang talks about puberty.

Words: 2134

Class 1-A was in the middle of their English course, most of the students desperately trying to translate their assigned passages before it was their turn to speak. Compared to most of their other academic courses the language ranked highest. While general studies and hero support pushed proficiency in mathematics and the sciences, it had become apparent early on that the quadratic equation wasn’t going to help fight villains any time soon. The main focus of academics in the hero course was on language, and along with that the arts, theater, and writing.

Every hero course student had to be proficient in hero vocabulary and conversational English before they graduated, besides that they had to have a working vocabulary in at least three other chosen languages. Long nights were spent when the students could be heard talking to themselves in German, French, Arabic, Spanish, Mandarin and even Russian. They drilled phrases like ‘How can I help you?’ and ‘Are you in danger?’ as well as any possible replies that they could get. At lunches the week before an exam other students would raise eyebrows at the exhausted looking class 1-A as they rambled back and forth to each other in broken German asking ‘Have you seen this child?’ over and over again. The theory behind the study of the arts and writing was that heroes would have a higher attention to detail and be able to have the put what they saw into description. The theater classes assisted in their public speaking confidence.

Kaminari Denki was currently sight reading his chosen passage, a fairly complex paragraph from an American novel. Several students lay back in their seats, having already tried and failed to accurately translate their homework. Kaminari was without a doubt the star of the language class. While students like Iida Tenya and Yaoyarozu Momo excelled in all subjects, watching Kaminari flawlessly translate passages from Harry Potter on the spot was akin to watching a meteor shower. Beautiful and yet somehow terrifying.

After Kaminari finished his passage, Bakugou Katsuki stood up. His eyes and hands were on his open book of English readings. He had picked the hardest one he could find, a section out of a story by Edgar Allan Poe, and now he was regretting it. Slowly and firmly he tried to wrap his tongue around the odd fitting Anglo-Saxon language. He stumbled a few times and did as he had been taught to do when something frustrated him, take a breath, count to three and try again. It worked in an academic setting at least. But he stumbled over his words, glaring at Kaminari who was looking at him with a smile. Him and the rest of Bakugous group had been slaving away over their languages for days with little improvement.

And then it happened. It being, one moment Bakugous voice was an even raspy growl and the next it jumped up to a decibel that only dogs could hear and then falling to a deep bass. Bakugou froze mid sentence, counted to three, cleared his throat, and turned bright red. Even so he slowly began again, his eyes wondering over the faces of his class, most of them hadn’t even been paying attention, no one seemed to bothers by it at all. Bakugou raced through the rest of the passage and dropped back into his seet. He hid behind his arms crossed over his chest.

The second time it happened it was several days after the first incident. Bakugou had completely forgotten about having his voice break in the middle of class. But puberty never let you forget her for long. He was in the middle of a sparring match with Kirishima Eijirou, his best friend. Kirishima was acting as a punching bag as Bakugou viciously slammed his bloody knuckles onto his friends stony body.

“Why won’t you just give in-“ Bakugou was cut off mid threat by his voice rocketing up from its normal tenor to a soprano.

“Dude.” Kirishima laughed, he faltered in his defense and Bakugous right hook caught his chin.

Later that same day Bakugou and his little gang of losers had crowded the kitchen are of the common space. The only one who was actually using it for its intended purpose was Bakugou. He slaved away over the kitchen stove prepping meals for him and Kirishima. They were both trying to bulk up. Kirishima was trying to help by cutting the vegetables but he was so slow and kept crying over the onions that Bakugou had demoted him to ‘guardian of the Tupperware’. The defeated redheaded boy stood holding the plastic storage containers, trying to be interested in Bakugou as he explained why he never boiled broccoli, but Kaminari was being way too interesting. He had discovered a website that had a bunch of English profanities and they were all trying to memorize them but their pronunciation was so off most of what they said was nonsense but with the amount of laughter it was apparent that it didn’t really matter.

“Kirishima pay attention, I’m only making enough food for both of us this one time.” That’s what he said two weeks ago as well.

“Dude relax.” Kirishima laughed, glancing at the broccoli beef Bakugou had created. He waved the Tupperware around. “I’m ready when you are!”

Kaminari poked Bakugou on the shoulder. “You should be listening to these they are so funny!”

“Why the fuck would I be interested cursing in English. No one will know what im saying.” Bakugou rolled his eyes. Sometimes his friends got excited about silly things. Silly harmless things that just made them happy, it was Bakugous job to shit on those things as much as possible.

“Come on man, try this one.” Kaminari raised his phone. “Your mother was a hamster and your father smells of elder berries!”

“Your… Fa… Father was a hamster…” and Bakugous voice cracked again, no one made a move. Bakugou reached behind him and grasped one of the (only) clean saucepans and in his rage launched it out of the kitchen and towards the sitting area. The handle wedged into the wall where it would remain for generations to come. He small gang of friends laughed at Bakugous expense.

“Dude, your voice has been cracking all day!”

“I’ve noticed, Hair For Brains. “ Bakugou returned to his cooking, his face growing ever redder. He was furiously mixxing garlic into the beef sauce. “it’s fucking annoying.”

“it’s puberty, don’t sweat it dude.” Kaminari leaned back against the cool counter top, his finger scrolled through his phone but his attention was on Bakugou. “We are all suffering.”

“I don’t see you turning into a soprano in English class.” Mina laughed. “Fucking Sarah Brightman over here nearly made Iidas glasses crack.”

Bakugou growled at the pink haired girl. “it’s not a big deal, my voice breaks too. Remember in Hero training? I was trying to warn you that Sero was behind you and all that came out was nails on a chalk board.” Kirishima comforted Bakugou with a pat on the arm from the Tupperware.

“I’m moist like all of the time.” Mina happily chirped. The boys looked to her visibly shaken. “oh you wish! I mean I’m sweaty all of the time. Even now, you should feel my back.”

“I’d rather not.” Sero cringed.

“That’s gross.” Bakugou looked over his friend group carefully, reconsidering his choices.

“I’m allowed to be just as nasty as you Palm Sweat.” Mina used her foot to give Bakugous rear a quick kick. She pushed herself up onto the counter top and pulled a bag of chips out of MInetas shelf.

“I have a semi like 80% of the day.” Kaminari admitted way to comfortably. “And not for any reason. Two days ago I opened a pudding cup, boom, raging boner.” He laughed, everyone’s eyes drifted from his face to his crotch and back.

“Okay all of you are-“

“I’m pretty sure im going to be hairy as fuck.” Sero continued with their little confessional. Bakugou accepted that his had stopped being about his cracking voice and was now an all included ‘my body is doing fucked up shit’ power hour.

“Dude I saw you have chest hair and everything.” Kirishima laughed. He pulled out his shirt collar and looked down at his smooth skin. “Lucky.”

“You want chest hair?” Bakugou winced. “Why?”

“it’s manly as fuck.” Kirishima added.

“Let me see!” Mina was lifting Seros shirt, and he was letting her. He had a small patch of hair growing out of the middle of his chest between his pectorals, and one hell of a happy trail. Mina plucked a hair off from around his nipples and laughed. Sero cried out and frowned.

“Dude there aren’t that many!” he stole the hair back from Mina.

Bakugou rolled his eyes and nudged Kirishima to hold out the tupperware. He stated sectioning out the large quantity of food. Kaminari eyes him closely. Bakugou sneered as Kaminari adjusted his pants silently.

“Oh my god! Ew!” Mina jumped back up on the counter top.

“I’m sorry okay!” Kaminari wiggled around in his jeans. “It won’t stop! I don’t know what to do!”

“Just go jack off in your room.” Kirishima suggested, not even teasing, just trying to give friendly advice.

“I do… all of the time! I can’t jack it anymore! MY. DICK. HURTS.”

“All the time?” Mina now seemed kind of interested. Kaminari inched away from her.

“It’s that or I great the world dick first for the rest of my life.” Kaminari was wildly waving his arms around as he spoke, but it was going nothing towards distracting everyones eyes from his obvious boner.

“Maybe you could use it as a Taser?” Sero clowned a pelvic thrust. “ZAP ZAP!”

Kaminari seemed to be considering it. Mina burst into laughter.

“You won’t even need your charge director. You could have been using your dick this entire time.” The pink girl was screaming.

“Just imagine Kaminari running around, dick flying through the air, shooting lightning!” Sero had to support himself on the tile next to Mina.

“Cockbolt!” Kirishima slammed shut the freezer after him and Bakugou had packed way their meals.

“Stuncum.” Bakugou muttered a little quieter.

“Cum-inari Dick-I” Mina was getting way too loud.

“Fuck all of you guys.” Kaminari was choaking on his laughter. Sero was hardly even breathing. Kaminari turned to Kirishima as he wiped tears from his eyes. “And what about you? You as rock hard as I am?”

“Me?” Kirishima looked a little shocked that they were even curious about what ever damage puberty was wrecking on his body. “I don’t know… kind of all the normal stuff I guess?”

“Normal stuff?” Kaminari wanted details. Bakugou couldn’t deny he didn’t also what to know what the apparent faultless puberty god had to say. Kirishima seemed to be going through a short list in his head, trying to pick out the most interesting.

“Sorry, I don’t really know…” he scratched at his head. Kaminari wasn’t accepting that.

“Come on! Something? Is one of your feet bigger than the other? Do you smell bad? Acne in odd places? Come on! have your balls even dropped?”

“Of course they have! Im just saying that I cant think of anything funny to say. Nothing can really beat your fucking boner!” Kirishimas face was starting to match his hair.

“I bet Jirou would like to beat it.” Mina muttered under her breath.

“Really?” Kaminari perked up. “How… how do you know? Did she say-…”

“Kirishima cries a lot.” Bakugou announced coldly. All eyes were on him.

“I do?” Kirishima questioned. He didn’t think he cried a lot.

“You’re an emotional wreck.” Bakugou was pulling out more rice and meat, he wasn’t going to let them know but he was making everyone a late lunch. He just felt like cooking. “you cry at almost every movie we watch, even the ones that aren’t sad. Yesterday you dropped you pen in class and when you couldn’t reach it I saw fucking tears in your eyes.”

“Kirishima you big soft pussy. “ Mina spoke bluntly.

Kirishima looked to be in a state of shock. He guessed that maybe he had been crying a bit more than normal, that silly things like missing shoes and low batterys were pulling tears from him in the gallons. But he was an emotional guy so it made sense. Kaminari pulled Kirishimas head to his chest “my soft boi.”

“Get off!” Kirishima struggled against Kaminaris grip. Sero put his hand on the back of his head and pushed it down.

“NOW SUCK THAT DICK!” Kirishima escaped just in time, the group sans Bakugou laughing. Bakugou started putting the food he had just taken out way. Fuck these people, they could starve.

#my hero academia #fanfic #i just started writing and this came out #its silly yall #im just here to have a good time #katsuki bakugou #kirishima eijirou #sero hanta #mina ashido #kaminari denki

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