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nebbyy · 7 days

Note

Hi! I'm not sure if you are currently taking requests, so feel free to ignore mine if you aren't! If you are taking them, however, would you please write something for King Baldwin IV overhearing reader sing and falling further in love with her because of her soft and sweet voice? Upon realizing that he's there, she becomes extremely flustered and apologizes for disrupting his peace and quiet. Thank you!

King Baldwin IV x reader - Sweetest of melodies

A/N: omg it’s been so long since I’ve received a request! I can’t lie, Baldwin is my supreme comfort character, I think I’ll never stop writing fro him because it gives me sooo much joy😩😩😩 I personally like to think of this piece as taking place a few months after Baldwin’s and reader’s wedding, so it could be considered a sequel for my first fic ever. Also, the song mentioned in this piece is a real song from the 12th century called "Can vei la lauzeta" (in English,"When I see the lark") by Bernart de Ventadorn, and the painting is "Lovers in a garden" by Charles Edward Perugini!!

Oh btw!! I’m working on a long ass series about him, based off of a prompt by @phantomsghoulette which I absolutely LOVED. Sooo all the KoH fans stay tuned for future updates🤭

Warning: nothing really, just pure fluff. Maybe you could say that religious innuendos could be something triggering for some people but I don’t know. There might be ONE, SLIGHTLY spicy mention but only if you squint really really hard. Also, keep in mind that the historical accuracy in my fics is rather relative, I try to add some details here and there but I don’t have the knowledge (nor the skills) to write a piece 100% accurate to the real history. Also, reader’s gender is female and uses she/her pronouns!!

Word count: 2918

Someone would say Baldwin's patience could already be put to test by only his illness, which she ruthlessly does not grant him a moment's respite, the eternal enemy of his body and his spirit. But no, to this perpetual torment of his had to be added the perilous duties of a king. And it was certainly not governing his people and lands that sucked what little energy he had left; this duty of his, given by his father and willed by divine design, he had long since embraced.

It was the nobles, the leeches who had drained him of his lifeblood lately. It was their endless demands, the insidious words that hissed behind his back, the languid bows and sleazy gifts designed only to gain some favor from him. Looking around him, he seemed to see only vices and sinners, power-hungry beasts just waiting for his moment of weakness so they could feed on what Baldwin had under his power.

In fact, not without reason in the past the young monarch had attempted to abdicate the throne and leave it in the hands of one of his sisters, rid himself of this burden and devote the rest of his short life taking care of his declining health and to nurture his mind away from so much corruption. At times he dreamed of retiring to France, experiencing for the first time that cold climate and verdant landscape of which his preceptors and advisors told him so much.

In fact, not without reason in the past the young monarch had attempted to abdicate the throne and leave it in the hands of one of his sisters, rid himself of this burden and devote the rest of his short life taking care of his declining health and to nurture his mind away from so much corruption. At times he dreamed of retiring to France, to experience for the first time that cold climate and verdant landscape of which his preceptors and advisors told him so much.

And he dreamed of taking you with him, imagined how sweet his life would be if his only concerns were taking care of his health and you, faithful wife, sole blessing in his life battered by such burdens. How he would wish that his days would revolve around you, that his first thought in the morning would be riding by your side through the flourishing meadows, and his last thought in the evening would be caressing your face as you lie slumbering in his arms.

It would have been a blissful fate his, if only Sybilla's husband had not died at the very moment when he would have needed him most. If only his mother had not convinced him that Guido de Lusignan was a good fit for his sister and had continued to seek a new consort for her, perhaps that fate would not have been snatched from him so early. Too late to repent now, for Baldwin would have preferred to die agonizingly on his throne rather than leave power in the hands of that bumptious and arrogant lord, who was noble only in title.

And so he found himself in this sort of hellish limbo, forced into a position that should never be required of a man in his condition, but prevented by his morality from abandoning his reign, impelled by faith in God's greater plan, that his suffering should not be in vain.

And his faith always seemed to strengthen when he had a way to escape the stifling air that characterized the throne room, always packed with knights and crusaders and nobles, when he had a way to retreat to the palace gardens, one of the few verdant places in all of Jerusalem.

With slow, swaying steps, Baldwin strolled slowly among the local palm trees and flower beds from the faraway lands, those where men speak Italian and the more distant ones, those from which his fathers came. Exotic fruits mingled with those more congenial to the French, who out of nostalgia for their lands and fields did what they could to bring the seeds of these plants with them to overseas.

His mind seemed to go out, shifting his attention from the constant buzz of court demands and duties to the chirping of birds perched on the roof, to the eviction of the soft branches that shielded him from the scorching sun. He enjoyed the refreshing air that reigned in that small oasis of greens, which was able to infiltrate the fabric of his white robes, crossing the bandages that covered much of his body and finally reaching his skin, numbed by leprosy.

To tell the truth, of that refreshing sensation little reached his damaged nerves, if not for those few points that had been spared by the merciless disease, from which departed that unusual shiver that caused him a delicate smile of relief, enjoying the refreshing breeze. Then he closed his eyes and breathed in, discovering with satisfied surprise that that light gust was also a harbinger of an intoxicating perfume, a mixture of exotic and familiar.

How funny to think of the concept of "exotic", for an Angevin born and raised in the unknown lands of the east. For him it was exotic French fruit, exotic were the green plains and heavy clothing that brought his allies from the northwest, and equally alien to the snowy mountains and forest beasts that he saw drawn in detail in his childhood books. It was these changes of perspective that stimulated his mind in a myriad of thoughts and reflections, but in a pleasurable way for him, not as exhausting as his daily duties.

His reflections on exotic and local made his mind travel, wandering until he came to a subject very close to him: Muslims and Jews, reflecting well on the landscape in front of him, recognized that he could share with them the same concepts of what is foreign and what they can claim the original belonging. And he could not but reflect on how it must have been for the first inhabitants of Jerusalem to observe the Franks who came as conquerors, and filled their gardens with such foreign plants as those pale warriors who had taken possession of their dwelling... But after all, the French soldiers who were emissaries of God’s will needed something familiar to stabilize them as they fought to reclaim the Promised Land, ut Deus voluit.

But all his brooding over these matters of conquest and submission ended up in the background in his mind, when a colorful scarlet sphere caught his attention. An exquisitely red apple seemed to tempt him from a branch just above his head, beckoning him to be picked and savored by the king, that he might lose himself in the juicy sweetness of that fruit with origins so far removed from the Holy Land. But the king's modesty prevented him from yielding to that temptation, wanting to avoid exposing the advanced state of deterioration in which his mouth was.

And in fact if that temptation had been alive it would have pale in front of something much more captivating, a sound that echoed in the most melodious distance of the song of any nightingale. Baldwin was surprised to think that he had not realized before the melody that inibriated the atmosphere around him, so taken by the tribulations of his mind that he almost missed such an intoxicating song. He did not know what he felt once he arrived in Heaven, if he had ever arrived in spite of the unjust fate in Hell that the evil Saracens wished him. He didn’t know it, but if one ever had to imagine what Heaven sounded like, that song would come to mind.

When I see the lark beating

Its wings in joy against the rays of the sun

That it forgets itself and lets itself fall

Because of the sweetness that comes to its heart

She sang in Occitan, the beautiful one in the distance. The voice of his people, of his lineage, that few in the palace can pronounce after so many years of distance from their homeland in Provence. Paying more attention to the echoing song, he would not even have had to approach it to give a face to that melodic voice: he knew how to recognize his wife’s voice.

Yet it was a new context in which he saw you, new facets of you that he had not yet had a chance to observe. Your voice, sweet as honey, venerable like all your other traits, he had never heard it except in speech, when you were proclaiming orders before your subjects with the authority fit for a queen, or when you laughed at the poems and performances of the court singers, or when you whispered in Baldwin’s ears sweet words, while you lay with bodies merged between the soft silk sheets. Always spoken, but never sung.

Alas! Such great envy then overwhelms me

Of all those whom I see rejoicing,

But though he didn’t need to approach you to recognize you, the desire to see your face exceeded any of his other needs. As if mesmerized by the sound of a siren, Baldwin was advancing towards you, with steps so slow that it seemed a hunter about to catch a deer in the woods. He wanted nothing more than to hear you sing again, that you continue to bless him with that angelic melody. What worse sin would there be than to interrupt your song, more sacred than a prayer?

His stomach filled with butterflies and turned upside down like the beasts' jugglers, his breath seemed to stop in his throat, depriving him of the breath he no longer needed, as long as he could hear you sing a moment more. And her cheeks warmed, when finally she saw you among the white lilies, more beautiful than divine salvation.

I wonder that my heart, at that moment,

Does not melt from desire.

Baldwin wondered if you sang with him in mind, if those words of love reflected your own emotional turmoil.

Oh, if only it were so, and your singing equalled his own words inscribed in the sonnets and poems he composed in your honor, which he himself commissioned from your favorite singers to perform at banquets, only to steal an embarrassed smile and to see the blush of your cheeks, along with the glint in your eyes.

Whether it was or not, the outcome remained the same since he was at that moment in your proximity, in the same state mixed with adoration, love and wonder at the bold gesture. But if only he had confirmation from your words...

Alas! How much I thought I knew

About love, and how little I know,

Because I cannot keep myself from loving

The one from whom I will gain nothing.

"My angel, your voice sounds like heaven but your words are false." Baldwin practically saw you blow up from your session, completely taken aback by his sudden appearance, unaware that your husband has been acting as a secret public all this time. Your initial surprise quickly turns into a laugh to mask your embarrassment for being caught in a moment like this, when you thought you were alone to be able to run the streets of music with your voice.

"I beg your pardon, I thought I was alone in the gardens," your eyes met his own only for a moment, before you turned your face to try and hide the blush of your face, "it was just a silly song I heard singing to the Provençal knights. I hope I did not disrupt your walk, my love..”

He laughed softly, trying to hide his amusement from having caught you off guard. He approached you more quickly than when he did just a few moments before, but with the same phlegm that managed to inspire a feeling of safeness in you. Sitting by your side on the bare rock, he raised his bandaged hand to gently cup your face and make you turn your eyes towards him. It was only then, when you had no choice but to look at Baldwin in the face that you noticed how his eyes, the only part of his face exposed to the outside world, formed two half-moons, and you came to find that it was because of how widely he was smiling, as you lowered the veil from his face.

He was making fun of you, you realized. With that swagger in his manner, you understood that his amusement came from your embarrassment at that silly misunderstanding. Laughing softly, he gently shook his head before bringing both hands to your face, holding it as if it were the most sacred of relics. "As much as I would love to hear you sing of your affection for me, just to hear your voice echoing in the air is the sweetest of gifts. How could you deprive me of this blessing thus far, my dear?"

You could do nothing but giggle at his sweet words, bringing your hands to his wrists to feel him closer to you. "You flatter me, my king. My voice boasts nothing more than those sweet melodies that the singers in the palace sing. Mine is only a dabble."

His gaze softened, his playful spirit addicted to your presence. He took the floor again, in a tone as soft as cotton, "At least this once, my queen, allow me to disagree with your words. My life may be short and my reality small, but never have I heard such an angelic voice, singing such sweet melodies. And God may not yet have granted me the ability to predict the future, but in my heart I know well that never will any singer be able to hold a candle to your beautiful voice, never will any song be able to express the same feeling of ecstasy.

"You, my angel, have managed to make a simple ballad an absolute work of art through your voice. I think I should take you with me into battle next time, for with your mere voice you could addict Saladin and his entire army.

"And seeing you here, angelic and perfect like the lilies that surround you, singing so softly that it would make any bird jealous, that I realize that whatever toil, whatever challenges God has stored up for me, and all those that still await me in my life, are worth it, if at the end of each of them there is you, voice of an angel, to hold a place for me in your arms of heaven."

You were sure you were on the verge of crying a flood of tears, the result of pure emotion at his sweet words. It was not new to you that Baldwin worshipped you as much as the God to whom his kingdom was consecrated, from the first moment he got to hear your voice and admire your face, and you knew at once that he had become yours, body and soul. But it was new to you to see him like that, completely entranced by your simple being-it was something new. A wonderful newness that made you feel like the most desired of women on this earth.

Taken by a rush of boldness, you practically jumped into his arms, wrapping your arms around his neck; you ended up on top of him, with his hands around your hips. You both laughed, like two little boys frolicking in the gardens. And you left a kiss on his left cheek, then on the bridge of his nose. A kiss again on his forehead, and then down on the side of his lips. When you were about to give him another kiss, just where he most yearned for your lips, against his, you stopped a few inches away, with a wide smile, before speaking again, "If so little is enough to make your happiness, then I will sing to you every day, whenever you ask. Let me be your nightingale, your morning song and your lullaby all at once!"

"I couldn't wish for anything else, my dear. Now, however, I beg you, sing one more melody for me, before my duties drag me back to the palace, and I shall consider myself a blessed man."

"With great pleasure, my love." Your voice was now little more than a whisper. With a languid movement, Baldwin moved his body to rest his head on your lap, and you eagerly greeted him. After slightly moving the hood that veiled his head, so that you could play with his golden locks, you began to sing a new melody, one that this time spoke of reciprocated love, of the joy of being able to hold your loved one in your arms. But the words you sang barely reached Baldwin before his sky-colored eyes closed softly, his mind giving him at least a moment's despite from his perilous life. You continued to sing, caressing his face, which from day to day appeared more and more mutilated by his disease, singing the sweetest of melodies so as to prolong this idyll in which you and your husband found yourselves in.

For with you Baldwin had a way of putting the crown aside, and being nothing more than a foolish young man in love, whose only duty was to love you, to love you with all the love that an angel like you deserved.

@sweetworkoffiction hope you like it <3

#fluff #writers on tumblr #f!reader #kingdom of heaven #king baldwin iv #king baldwin x reader #king baldwin x you #koh #medieval fiction #historical fiction #writing requests #requests open #anon ask #anon request

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in1-nutshell · 3 months

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Hello! I want to know how do you update so fast?! Like— you update once a day at the very LEAST! What is your secret and how can I be as productive as you?

And anyways, other than that, do you mind doing a TFP bot buddy who got a very sickly and frail frame, and who had once been a Decepticon without choice (like maybe they were raised as a sparkling by the Decepticons or something), but recently they had joined the Autobots because they knew the Autobots were doing the right things. And it had been a pretty smooth ride since, cause Buddy hadn’t been able to been on the battlefields much due to their sickness, only working in the background tech, so they luckily didn’t have much conflicts with any members in particular.

However, due to being often neglected, and even humiliated, back when Buddy was with the Decepticon for their illness, Buddy had developed a habit of hiding off their illness, and Buddy promised themself that they would never let the Autobots find out about their physical state, in the fear of slowing the Autobots down and facing the same humiliation again. And Buddy just genuinely don’t believe their illness was important enough for any concerns and attentions, anyways, expecially in the face of a war, after the years of being neglected. So they just kind of pretends to be invisible, retreat into a corner, and hope to be forgotten whenever they were sick again.

However, they couldn’t hide the sickness forever since it would just get worse. And, the Autobots, as well as the human children, would soon teach Buddy that they were safe to ask for help here, and the ages of neglection and mistreatment was behind them now.

To be honest, I don't have much advice on how to create a writing schedule. You need to experiment with something that might work for you depending on your schedule. If anything, try and have little goals to reach.

Frail Buddy needs some love from everyone.

Hope you enjoy!

Bot Buddy the Ex-con who is sickly ill with Ratchet, Bumblebee, and Bulkhead

SFW, Bit of Angst but it gets better, mentions of illness and collapse, nothing graphic or detailed, Platonic, Familial, Cybertronain reader

TFP

It had always been a hard life for Buddy.

With their illness that always left them drained of energy as well as being bit frail framed. They sent many mechs into a spiral into laughter whenever they told them that they were once a Decepticon.

Of course, it wasn’t a personal choice.

Their entire family unit had been a part of the Decepticon unit for years. They were the true definition of ruthless Con’s, but they had a soft spot for Buddy.

“Hey twig move it. Your frames taking up space.”—random Con

Roughly shoves Buddy into a wall.

Their family unit within a 10-mile radius suddenly filled with a sudden urge to hurt someone.

They cared about Buddy truly, but Buddy was they only one who had enough common sense to realize that the original goal was long buried. Now the cause wanted power, not equality.

They made their daring escape after hearing that all of their family had been offlined in a freak accident with Starscream. There were never any accidents when someone went offlined on Starscream’s watch. Buddy never found out why their unit was offlined, and part of them wanted it to stay that way.

When the Autobots first saw Buddy stumble on their base they thought Buddy was some Neutral that had come to join. Definitely not some dirty Decepticon.

It took a while for the team to get used to Buddy.

But after time and the usefulness of their communication and decoding skills, they earned their spot-on Team Prime when the group had departed to Earth.

Buddy never told the team the true extent of their illness. All the team knew was Buddy was framed differently and just naturally got tired.

Ratchet was extremely amid to Buddy to have a full checkup, but Buddy had been dodging the medics for years. They were a pro at this point.

“All right Buddy it’s your turn.”--Ratchet

“Are you sure? I mean Bulkhead is looking a bit—”--Buddy

“No, I’ve already checked on him and you’re the last one on the list.”--Ratchet

“Well—”--Buddy

The alarm goes off.

“Guess we’ll have to put a pin in this for a bit. See you later Ratchet!”--Buddy

“Buddy—Never mind I’ll get to you in a bit...”--Ratchet

Buddy always went last and always placed a modified version of their results in the system.

But Ratchet was starting to pick up on this trail.

Buddy had made friends with Bumblebee and Bulkhead in their early years on Team Prime.

Buddy was a bit hesitant to even be in the same room as the Wrecker.

Not because they hated him or anything.

It was that he was so clumsy, and they were a bit fearful that one day he was going to swipe at them by accident then they would be staring at the Well of the Allspark.

But gradually through some force company, the two turned out to have a rather nice friendship. Mainly on good heart teasing and time spent together on the comms.

Bulkhead could never have imagined that he would be friends with someone that looked like they would go down with a sneeze.

“Hey, Buddy you okay?”--Bulkhead

“Yeah? Why you ask?”--Buddy

“Well, you usually look like you can be taken down by my wrecking ball with one swing. Not today though.”--Bulkhead

“Bulk most mechs that end up behind your wrecking ball end up on the ground, I’m no different.”--Buddy

“Yeah, but today you look like you can go down with me applying a bit of pressure on your helm.”--Bulkhead

“Bulk no offense you don’t exactly don’t know how much strength to apply on certain things.”--Buddy

“Like what?”--Bulkhead

Buddy holding a mangled tool.

“Did I make my point?”--Buddy

“I guess… Can you at least see Ratchet?”--Bulkhead

“I’m perfectly fine Bulky. Don’t worry that helm of yours over me.”--Buddy

“Okay…”--Bulkhead

He wouldn’t question it, besides medicine wasn’t his fortitude.

Bumblebee and Buddy got along like a housefire.

It stemmed from Bumblebee being one of the few mechs wanting to get to know Buddy when they first came.

Buddy naturally latched on to the only kindness they had been shown in years.

Their friendship went on from there.

Bumblebee and Buddy have been scolded multiple times for having weird conversations on the comlines and forgetting sometimes to use their private lines.

“What do you think about the ending of the series?”--Buddy

“Beep bep bopbop bop (It was pretty decent, kind of wished there was more to it.)”--Bumblebee

“Yeah, it did feel anticlimactic. I wonder if there’s going to be another season?”--Buddy

“If you two don’t mind, everyone can hear you.”--Ratchet

He also worried a bit for Buddy’s frame at least, it looked… frail?

Buddy would always brush it off and even point to the stats.

Inner work being perfectly normal.

Bumblebee was still skeptical over it but… if the stats are correct then it shouldn’t be a problem.

Buddy was soon faced with another challenge, the humans.

Not that they were a problem, Buddy loved their new little organic friends. But sometimes they would get a little too close to the truth Buddy had been trying to hide.

Especially after June and Agent Fowler had been temporally kidnapped by Buddy’s former doctor and nurse: Knockout and Breakdown.

Now Buddy had no problems with either doctor or nurse.

In fact, they were one of the only two Con’s Buddy could respect.

Of course, they knew about Buddy’s illness.

There was only so much you could do to hide it from two mechs that always reviewed their patients, especially when it came to framework.

“Hmm… you have new denting on your sides today.”--Knockout

“Oh yeah, don’t worry about it.”--Buddy

“No, I want to know who tarnished my work.”--Knockout

“Is someone messing with you Buddy? Cause if they are—”--Breakdown

“It’s fine! Really guys it nothing! I feel fine!”--Buddy

“Look Breakdown in the optics and repeat what you said.”--Knockout

“… It was the new recruit… he shoved me into the cavern wall with a mining cart.”--Buddy

“…Good to hear, now if you’ll excuse me, I need to have a word with someone.”--Breakdown

“That mech is not going to be able to walk for a week.”--Buddy

“A month with a limp.”--Knockout

“Knockout.”--Buddy

“Fine! Two weeks with a limp.”—Knockout

Knockout had captured Fowler and June and had been talking to Breakdown when Breakdown asked him out loud to ask how Buddy was holding up with everything.

The two humans perked up hearing this.

They both had a rundown about Buddy being a con for a bit but nothing else.

“Hey Fleshy! The nurse one! You’ve heard of our ex-comrade, Buddy, right?”--Knockout

“And if we have?”—June

“June—”—Agent Fowler

“… From one medic to another, how are they holding up?”--Knockout

“What?”--June

“Oh, don’t you act all surprised. Buddy must have told you about their framework and inner works by now. I’m asking if they are all right.”--Knockout

“…”—June

“… They haven’t told you?”--Knockout

“…”--June

“Fine be like that. I didn’t care anyways.”--Knockout

“…They look like a gust of wind could bring them down lately…”--June

“June!”--Fowler

“…Thank you… June. Breakdown!”—Knockout

“Yeah?”--Breakdown

“Its not looking too good.”--Knockout

“How bad?”--Breakdown

“A measle gust of wind apparently then their going down to the Well.”--Knockout

“… Tell the humans thank you for me.”--Breakdown

“They can hear you, loud and clear.”--Knockout

Something clicked in June’s head.

Buddy had always been a bit different from the others, especially on some days that they worked stiffly and refused often to go out of the base.

When the pair had gotten rescued, they both compared their thoughts about Buddy.

They both had come to similar conclusions.

Buddy was sick, and they didn’t know.

Buddy was sick and knew they were.

That second one made June feel sick herself.

June suddenly started coming by the base a bit more often and started spending a bit more time with Buddy.

Buddy just seeing this as one of their friends wanting to know a bit about themselves didn’t think too much about it.

“So how was today’s work?”--June

“Nothing too special June. And you how was work.”--Buddy

“Nothing special today. Why don’t you take a seat for a bit?”--June

“Oh, okay.”--Buddy

CREAK!

“… Sometimes the joints will act up a bit.”--Buddy

“Okay…”—June

June was secretly making notes about these interactions and how Buddy would position themselves and any noise they made.

Now all she needed was a second opinion about her thoughts.

She managed to get Ratchet to go out with her for a drive to talk about Buddy.

Ratchet felt his spark fall a little hearing the symptoms and little things June had managed to get.

It sounded like a familiar illness that had broken out a couple years before the war.

He figured that it had gone.

He feels like he should have known better.

That’s when he gets a call from Bulkhead.

“Bulkhead? What—”--Ratchet

“It’s Buddy! They just—they just—”--Bulkhead

“Bulkhead calm down what happened to Buddy?”--Ratchet

“They just… just collapsed! I don’t see any wounds or anything! The kids said they just dropped!”--Bulkhead

“Bulkhead stay with Buddy and activate the groundbridge.”--Ratchet

“You got it Doc!”--Bulkhead

Ratchet later apologized to June about nearly giving her whiplash when he turned around and sped to the groundbridge.

Buddy had collapsed while on the line with Bumblebee while he was scouting some old mining deposits. Bulkhead had gone to the other room to get something.

Bulkhead was already coming back to the main room when he heard the loud thud, he just came faster when he heard the kids screaming.

He found Buddy lying on the ground still and a frantic beeping sound from the comm center.

Quickly checked Buddy if they were injured, finding nothing just worried him more.

Physical injuries he could kind of get.

Energon leaking, try and stop it leaking.

No injury then it’s something inside.

While he was coming in Ratchet, he directed Raf to get to the comms and alert Bee what happened and try and help if he could.

Ratchet came in speeding.

June quickly got out so Ratchet could get to Buddy quicker.

“Bulkhead, grab Buddy and get them to the med bay.”--Ratchet

“Okay!”--Bulkhead

“Gently!”--Ratchet

“Okay…”--Bulkhead

“Are they okay?”--June

“I am not sure yet. The scans will at least give me some clue on what is going on. Rafael, I need you to pull up Buddy’s stats from my screen.”—Ratchet

“You got it!”--Raf

Ratchet felt his energon go cold seeing the results.

How could Buddy’s levels be so low?!

They were lower than his for crying out loud!

How could a perfectly healthy bot get levels so low without an injury?

To be honest he was surprised to see Buddy even alive with these levels. But he wasn’t going to say that out loud.

Right now Ratchet set to work to get Buddy stable.

Bulkhead hated having to tell Bee that Buddy was… he didn’t even know what was happening just that ratchet was trying to get them stable.

“Bee?”--Bulkhead

“BEEP?! Bepp boop bop beep! (Bulkhead! What happened? What happened to Buddy?!)”--Bumblebee

“I’m… I’m not sure Bee. All I know is that Ratchet is trying to stabilize them right now.”--Bulkhead

“…Bep beep. (Send me a brigde)”--Bumblebee

“Coming up… but you’re not going to like what you see.”--Bulkhead

Bumblebee had never zoomed into a groundbrigde than he did at that moment.

His spark skipped a beat when he heard the loud thud and screaming. He thought that the base had been attacked and that the kids were in trouble.

He was beyond relief when he heard Raf’s voice, until he heard that Buddy had collapsed, and they weren’t waking up.

Zipping into the groundbridge all he could do was wait for Ratchet to be done with Buddy.

When Buddy woke up, they were attacked with mini hugs from their human friends.

“Buddy!”--Kids

“Hey… You guys looked like someone died.”--Buddy

“You almost did! Don’t do that again!”--Miko

“Hehe… no promises.”--Buddy

“You better!”--Raf

“I’ll do my best then.”--Buddy

“Do better please.”--Jack

Buddy turned to see Ratchet, Bulkhead and Bumblebee watching them.

And Buddy’s true stats on Ratchet’s arm.

The secret was out.

Buddy, after a bit of hesitation, told them about their illness, it wasn’t contagious, it happened to 1 in a million.

They just so happened to be lucky million.

Ratchet gave them a little lecture about the importance of not hiding stuff like this from him.

Bumblebee further went on to say that they weren’t a burden to the team for having the illness, it was a part of them that they would accept.

Bulkhead told them that he and the team would help them with more activities that would be friendlier to their frame than the rougher things.

Buddy could feel themselves choking up on the emotions and just nodded.

“I know that was a lot to take in at once, we will be talking about this again.”--Ratchet

“Oh man…”--Buddy

“But, for now you need your rest.”--ratchet

“What about the comms?”--Buddy

“Beep? Boop bop boop (The Comms? I think we can handle the comms until up get a bit better.)”--Bumblebee

“Bee’s right. Just get some rest. You still have to tell the others.”--Bulkhead

“…Great…”--Buddy

“Yip! Yip! Enough, get some rest Buddy.”--Ratchet

“…Thank you. Everyone, thanks for everything.”--Buddy

“Your family Buddy, family looks after one another.”--Bulkhead

“Thanks…”--Buddy

For the first time in a while, Buddy slipped into a blissful recharge without any pain.

#transformers #transformers x reader #maccadam #bot buddy #tfp #tfp x reader #tfp ratchet #tfp bumblebee x platonic reader #tfp bulkhead

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moon-alight · 7 months

Note

i like your previous update

One more request 🥺

When you unconscious during a fight

Because you overwork yourself

Hello! I hope you meant &Team otherwise this is awkward 😅 (Also, I like to overwork myself, it is my form of therapy lol 🤣)

Masterlist

&Team reaction to their s/o fainting during an argument

Warnings: fainting, bit of angst

Word Count: 1004

-K

-This guy is a hothead, alright, but he would see the signs you showed of feeling unwell or ill so he tried to be a bit less harsh

-But he did not realize you were so ill you would faint. Absolutely startled when he watched your body fall to the ground.

-Immediately by your side and trying to wake you up but is unsuccesful for the first couple minutes until you finally do

-Absolutely scolds you (with tears in his eyes) that you should take better care of yourself and how much you scared him

-Forgets whatever you two had fight over beforehand and hugs you tightly against him

-Fuma

-The argument was probably about you not taking enough care of yourself as he had watched you get worse and worse

-When he was trying to prove his point, you fainted and he felt his heart sink in his chest

-You would wake up on your bed with a wet cloth against your forehead and a glass of water on the nightstand with painkillers and a note

-'You are the most worrisome person in this world. Take the painkillers, drink some water, I'll be right home with food x'

-The cold was both nice and cold which did not make sense at all.

-Fuma would arrive minutes later with your favorite food so you could still talk things out while regaining energy

-Nicholas

-My man had never called 119 (Japanese Emergency Number) as fast as he had when you fainted during your argument

-Absolutely shaking and trembling when he explained to the help-line what had happened

-You'd wake up before the ambulance arrived but Nicholas made you stay on the ground as he knew you'd still be dizzy

-Stays by your side the entire time even when the doctor is checking you for your vital signs and blood pressue

-When you seem to be just fine (maybe low blood sugar) he hands you a coke and lets the doctors leave

-Clings to you afterwards and never lets go, afraid you'd faint again.

-EJ

-It was a mild argument but it was serious enough to talk about it inside the kitchen in the afternoon.

-He watched you hold onto the kitchen isle and frowned but did not say anything until he saw how weak you'd become

-Didn't let you faint and instead sat you down on a chair as he got a glass of water for you

-Would sit next to you, rubbing up and down your arm gently as he encourages you to drink a little

-You'd soon feel better but the argument was long forgotten. Ej's just glad you're okay now.

-Yuma

-I say this at every oportunity but Yuma is a hothead!

-Will not notice anything until you've completely blacked out

-He would stare at your unconscious body for a moment in pure shock before he scrambled to get his phone and call 119

-Explains to the emergency line what happened but begins to ramble and does not know how to stop because of the pure panic

-When the ambulance arrived and checked your signs (probably when you're awake) he just stood there and watched

-Would complain about how much you scared him afterwards and ask you to never push yourself to that point again

-Jo

-Again, I wholeheartedly believe you never end up in a bad fight

-But argument happen (even if he tries his best to avoid them) and you're trying to talk things out

-You'd feel terrible suddenly and tumbled to the ground

-Jo called Ej because he had no clue what to do and the poor boy was panicking

-Ej called an ambulance for ya'll and explained to Jo that he should get you some drinks and food for when you'd wake up

-When you're checked by the doctors and have consumed a bit of the food Jo had given you, he'd stare at you with teary eyes

-"I thought I'd lost you."

-Please hold this man

-Harua (this time I didn't forget, aha!)

-Ya'lls arguments are usually easily resolved so just when you two had apologized to one another, you'd feel a wave of nausea wash over you

-He watched it happen and screamed when you hit the ground

-Tried to shake you awake to no avail which is when the panic probably started to set in

-Didn't even think to call the emergency number because he was freaking out

-When you did wake up and asked him for a glass of water this guy returned with water, chocolate, an apple and three cans of coke

-Helped you up towards the couch and hugged you as if you'd disappear if he'd let you go

-Taki

-He was listening to you explaining your point of view of the argument when he noticed you'd act weird

-He called out for you but you did not respond. After a second, you fainted.

-Taki was happy it happened inside the dorms because he could call out to K who came over and calmed him down a little

-When you'd wake up, K would give you some water before he'd leave to give you some privacy.

-You were sure Taki had never hugged you as tight as he had in that moment and stroked your hair to remind himself you were okay

-Maki

-You'd been complaining about a headache all day which he was reminded of when you'd faint during the argument you two had

-He knew it wasn't healthy to not eat or stay hydrated when it was so warm during the day so he wasn't very surprised when your body shut down

-Still freaked out a little but got you some coke (with lots of sugar) and an apple before sitting by your side and stroking your hair

-You'd wake up confusedly and he'd help you sit up while explaining what had happened

-He'd make you drink the coke so you'd at least have a bit of sugar in your system before he'd scold you for being so reckless

#&team #&team drabbles #&team scenarios #&team imagines #&team fluff #&team headcanons #&team nicholas #&team k #&team ej #&team fuma #&team yuma #&team jo #&team harua #&team taki #&team maki

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faiiryteethh · 2 months

Text

Trigger Warning: Rare Illness/Health Issues [wasn't sure if this need a tw but these topics make some ppl uncomfy so i wanted to be considerate anyway💜]

so a lot of ppl have been asking me why i don't post pics anymore or why i have barely been on social media compared to how i used to be. and the reason is i've been having severe health issues for a very long time. i can't even remember the last time i went more than a month without feeling nauseous, or actually throwing up, or just having headaches and stomach pain that are so bad i can barely tolerate them.

i've known for a while that i have gastritis, but my mom & my bf convinced me to go to a new doctor for a second opinion. after months & months of pure agony and feeling exhausted and sick to the point where i have no energy, i finally know why. i went to a specialist and discovered i have a rare illness called CVS (Cyclic vomiting syndrome). and i also am lactose intolerant which was amplifying my symptoms because i eat dairy products constantly.

i am going to be starting treatment for it and i really hope it improves my life and my ability to function because i am so tired of "living" like this. just existing has been exhausting and painful. i literally haven't been able to accomplish any of the goals i have because i can't go more than a few days without feeling horrible.

i already feel useless because i'm autistic and i have bipolar 1 and i'm waiting on disability payments to come through because i am unable to work with my disabilities. so my bf has been working and doing his best to take care of me and our kids. i just feel so horrible and guilty all the time. and i genuinely didn't know why i feel sick 24/7. all i want is to feel like myself again. and to do all the things i miss doing. i feel like i'm trapped by this illness.

i'm grateful to have answers and know what i'm dealing with finally. but after suffering like this almost every single day for so long its so hard to feel hopeful for the future at this point. i'm literally in tears as i type this. its just been really bad. i never do my makeup anymore or feel good about myself. i can barely move sometimes because the pain in my stomach is so bad or i get pain in my throat from vomiting for hours at a time, and then i get MORE pain from dry heaving due to not being able to hold down any food. and then i get random migraines and headaches that last all day as a result of all of that. its taking a huge toll on my body and my mental health. my depression gets worse during the winter season so when this started getting really bad it just made my mental health a million times worse. its literal hell.

but yeah thats why i haven't been online. real life is hard enough and i haven't been motivated to post because of the hell i'm going through or a lot of the time i physically CAN'T make content. but i'm going to keep trying. i'm going to do every fucking thing my doctors tell me to do because im so fed up with suffering. i promise that i will make content again and post the things i create and other stuff i used to post about before i stopped being able to function. as soon as i start to feel semi normal or at least well enough to do daily activities and complete even small goals, i will post about it. i'll keep u guys updated.

i appreciate every single person who follows me and my content, and all the ppl who keep checking up on me and wondering where the fuck i went. i love you guys so much💜 and i'm so sorry to all the ppl who haven't heard from me. if i can gain at least a little bit of my physical strength and health back, i will be so happy. i also am trying to get vitamins prescribed to me because im severely lacking nutrients but they are so expensive and i can't afford them out of pocket until i get my disability money. i'm also anemic and have to start taking iron supplements again. i'm just a giant ball of health issues😭 its actually ridiculous how bad my health has been. but i'm a mom and for that reason i will never stop trying. i will do whatever it takes to get better. i don't think my health could get much worse than it is currently. hopefully i didn't just jinx myself by saying that😭

sorry for the super long explanation, i just have sooo many messages in my inbox and questions that you guys send me that i haven't answered. i don't want to leave u in the dark. the connections i've made on this silly little blog mean the world to me. and everything i've been going through has been so hard to explain. but since i recently got a REAL answer as to why i'm suffering so much, i felt it was a good time to let you guys know what is going on with me. like i said, when i am able to feel somewhat normal again i will post consistently and re-open my shop too! it sucks so bad having a passion for creating but being too sick to even get out of bed other than to get sick in the bathroom. i've been to the emergency room more times this month than i have in the last 4 years. if i can overcome this awfulness i will not take it for granted. i will work harder than i ever have to create and share it with the world. but for now i just have to sit back and do whatever my doctors tell me to do and hope to god that it helps me 😞

#kh

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sunsetsimon · 2 months

Text

hi bit of a personal update

cw : cancer (breast cancer) , alcohol usage

hi if you see this :) bit of an explanation on where i’ve been

honestly been going through it mentally recently. i don’t talk about much of my private life but to put it short i’m current in the process of finding out if these lumps that i have in my breast are cancerous. i went through this process before 2 years ago and luckily they were benign. however this time i’ve started to experience swelling, soreness, armpit pain, and even a slight ripple in my nipple. breast cancer runs in my family so even though im young, i try to stay on top of it best that i can before things get worse. currently i’m waiting to get an ultrasound and mammogram so we can see what’s going on and what my next steps will be.

please be aware that anyone with breast tissue can develop cancer, don’t ignore the signs. when you know something is wrong, advocate for yourself or find someone who can.

i’ve been completely consumed by fear recently and been on a major alcohol bender, drinking nearly everyday until im drunk and then my weed usage. obviously not the best coping mechanisms but holy shit guys - this has been terrifying. i cant sleep and have been having nightmares every time i close my eyes.

please send me your best wishes! and once i find out the results, if good, of course ill let you guys know :)

i have 2 very small drafts im trying to get the energy to post so i won’t be leaving yet!!!! trying to stick it out!!!

im thinking my next posts will probably be more domestic things with the boys <3 send me any things you’d think would fit if you get any ideas and ill try to add it in

anyways thank you for continuously supporting me and checking in here and there! miss you all and can’t wait until i can be posting daily again 🥰🥰

#from sun #cw cancer

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acescorazon · 6 months

Note

I LOVE YOUR FIC CHANGES!!!!! I HOPE YOU UPDATE SOON!!!!!

THANK U BBYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. ILY MUAH. I was updating like every day but then i got my period... i mean i fell into a pit of darkness and didn't have the energy to climb out. How bizarre. ANYWAYS, HERE'S YOUR FOOD.

Title: Changes Ch: 5/?

Rating: M (I'm just putting that as the rating in general for every ch lol)

Word count:2291

Warnings: Depressed clown :(

Chapter excerpt:

"Mihawk keeps asking about you," Mohji announces all of a sudden, "He keeps asking if you're okay and if your illness is something serious." Hawkeye keeps asking about him… Why? To know if he's died yet? What a joke! That man doesn't care about Buggy, why is he even wasting his breath asking about him? "I just keep telling him that you have the flu, and he's always like, 'Ah…is that so? Tell him I hope he feels better.' Isn't that…ridiculous?!" Yeah, that is rather ridiculous. Buggy has a hard time believing that Mihawk is genuinely concerned about him, but at the same time, he can't imagine why he'd just pretend to care either. It's weird.

|Ch1|Ch2|Ch3|Ch4|

The next several days are on an endless loop for Buggy. He stays in bed all day, unwilling to come face to face with Mihawk after his little drunken rant from days prior, afraid of what Mihawk will say to him now that he's completely sober. So, he stays in bed, either sleeping or lost in thought. He should be preparing men, supplies, and their new flagship for departure, but he can't bring himself to do it. At the very least he should be making sure everything on Emptee Bluffs Island is going smoothly, and yet… he doesn't care about that either.

Being in Cross Guild is so…exhausting.

Crocodile has called for meetings every single day, and every day, Buggy has one of his men lie and say he's sick. He's missed about 10 meetings now, he thinks. He can't remember, everything is starting to blend in together. All he knows is that sooner or later Crocodile is going to get pissed and come looking for him, and then what? Beat him up? Threaten him? Actually, kill him this time?

Man, who cares?

Cabaji, Mohji, and Richie, often come by and sit with him, usually overly worried about Buggy's well-being and not believing him when he says he's just sick or tired, but of course, Buggy always tells them that he's fine.

Today, they're with him again, sitting by his bed and trying to get him to eat some of the sea king the other members of the crew somehow caught and killed today. "Captain…" Mohji sighs, "Come on, at least take a couple of bites." He asks, but he sounds more like he's begging than asking. "You've hardly eaten anything these last few days." While that is very true, it's because Buggy doesn't have much of an appetite these days, nothing tastes right or really interests him, and god knows he doesn't have the energy to make his own food…just… he just wants to sleep.

Buggy sits in his bed, slightly peeved that Cabaji and Mohji insist he sit up in general, and looks down at the sea king on his plate. He's not normally a picky eater, you can't be picky when you've spent most of your life at sea, but… this thing reminds him eerily of a poison dart frog with its vibrant color and spots, yet at the same time, it's got fins and a body like a snake... He doubts his men would actually cook up something poisonous, they aren't that naive…but still, Buggy has no interest in this fish..frog…snake thing.

But if he did die from ingesting it…that'd just be his luck, wouldn't it? Death seems… inescapable at this point, and he often wonders just what or who will end up taking his life first. "I'm not hungry," Buggy repeats, but Mohji and Cabaji seem determined today.

"Just take a couple of bites, please, Captain?" Mohji practically begs, "Just a couple, it's actually really good!" Doubt it, Buggy thinks.

Cabaji follows suit, "Yeah, just take a couple of bites and if you don't like it, you don't have to eat the whole thing! We'll just feed the rest to Richie, right, Mohji?"

"Right!"

Buggy really doesn't want to eat anything, but he hates to make the other two worry, so he ends up taking a couple of bites of his lunch, and yeah, it isn't bad…it's one of the better-tasting sea kings that he's had, this one actually tastes like chicken despite its weird appearance, but Buggy still only eats a couple of bites, just enough to get the other two off his back and then hands Mohji his plate to give to Richie.

He wants to lie back down, but the others won't let him. "Um, Captain?" Cabaji calls out, seemingly a little nervous, "Uh, how about I run you a warm bath and…uh, How about I help you wash and brush your hair today?" Cabaji suggests with a small grin. Oh, yeah, basic needs are a thing. Man, Buggy really doesn't care about any of that stuff anymore, he's going to die anyways, so what's the point? He'll just ask one of his men to make him look nice for his funeral.

"Okay?" Cabaji asks, still smiling.

Buggy understands what this really is about. This is a very polite and roundabout way of telling him he needs to bathe, but none of his men would ever outright tell him he stinks so they have to use words like, 'Oh, how about I run you a bath and help you wash your hair today?' Or, 'Wow, you look like you need to relax…how about a nice bath?'

Whatever.

Buggy lets Cabaji run him a bath, and he sits and waits in bed while he prepares everything for him. He watches Richie eat his leftover sea king, and can't help but think how nice it'd be to be a lion, well, actually a cat. If reincarnation exists, he thinks he'd like to live a carefree life as a cat, a spoiled one too. Being a pirate isn't something he thinks he'd want to do again unless he could live a life with his old crew again, this time a happy one that isn't cut short, maybe then he'd be a pirate again... Or he could be a star in the sky, that'd be nice.

"Crocodile has asked about you too, but only once, and when I told him you had the flu, he rolled his eyes at me and went: 'Of course that dumb clown is sick.' And then walked away! I tell ya, I don't know what the others see in those two!" Mohji frowns, "They're so mean to you! I… I think if we all banned together then we could…you know…." He whispers the next part of his sentence, "Show them who's boss."

Honestly if Buggy thought he and or his crew had a chance against Mihawk and Crocodile, then he would have had both of them taken out a long time ago, but he knows even with an army of men, he couldn't take out one of his business partners, let alone both. It's a fun thought though, "Let's not waste our time," Buggy replies, exhaling a long, shaky sigh, "Besides, it's like I told you before, I can handle those two! Do you really think I'd let them beat and bully me?!"

Mohji just stares at him from his seat, obviously not convinced but he doesn't push the subject any further, and thank God for that.

Cabaji reappears a few moments after that, telling Buggy his bathwater is ready, and in all honesty, Buggy rather not do this, but he doesn't feel like hearing the other two complain either. He follows Cabaji into the bathroom and tells him he can at least bathe himself, and somewhere at the back of Buggy's mind he feels like he should feel more ashamed by the situation, but he doesn't. His former captain always told him that good friends don't judge you when you're at your lowest times and that they instead help you when no one else will, and so maybe that's why he has no guilt about letting Cabaji wash his hair. He'd do the same for him and then some. He and Mohji are more than just subordinates, they're friends, no, they're family, and honestly Buggy doesn't deserve either one of them.

As he washes Buggy's hair, Cabaji also tells Buggy that Mihawk keeps asking about him. Again, Buggy finds the idea of Mihawk asking all of Buggy’s crew about his well-being almost comical. Did the world’s strongest swordsman grow a heart? Ha, as if. Or maybe Buggy’s earlier suspicions are correct, maybe Mihawk’s waiting, hoping that Buggy’s ‘flu’ will take him out and that he won’t have to deal with him anymore, which honestly seems like a more realistic explanation for everything.

A hot bath and a nice relaxing hair wash later, and Buggy’s sitting on the small couch in his room, getting his hair brushed by Cabaji as he listens to both Mohji and Cabaji ramble on about this and that, and occasionally bicker over trivial things. It feels like his men are the only consistency in his life, but he wonders if there will be a day when even that changes. Maybe he’ll end up with so many men that their crew will seem more like an army than a family, then again maybe he won’t live to see the day when that’s actually a problem. And if that doesn’t happen, then maybe Mihawk will eventually end up replacing Buggy’s crew with a new, more efficient one that he hardly knows let alone can consider his family…who knows?

Now, as stated before, Buggy’s usual visitors consist of Mohji, Cabaji and Richie, but today Buggy finds himself getting an additional guest in his room. Sometime around late afternoon Alvida joins Buggy’s already boisterous company, and as soon as she realizes Buggy’s perfectly fine, she sighs at him,”I knew you weren’t sick.” she mutters as she has a seat on the couch next to him after Cabaji and Mohji fight over who’s spot she can take, “But oh well, you won’t believe what I just saw.” She says, grinning.

Hopefully, she saw Crocodile and Mihawk board a ship and sail as far away from the island as possible, never to return again, but that’s just not realistic, is it? “What did you see?” Buggy asks though he’s not particularly curious about her gossip today.

“Mihawk and Crocodile were fighting.”

“Crocodile and Mihawk bicker every once in a while, so what?”

“No, they were actually physically fighting earlier.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know but they were both heated,” Alvida claims, “I think they reached a draw, but they were fighting for a long time, half the island saw it.”

Despite claiming that he doesn’t care about either of the two, Buggy’s slightly curious about Mihawk and Crocodile’s altercation. Sure they’ve butt heads a couple of times in the past because Crocodile is so damn overbearing and of course, Mihawk doesn’t take being bossed around lightly, but they never get physical with things, it’s usually just threats of possible fights that don’t go anywhere. Maybe that was it, maybe Crocodile just got too controlling again, and Mihawk got tired of it. He did say he was tired of Crocodile’s shit the other day… Yeah, that’s got to be it…Because what else could it be???

…

A couple of more days go by after that, and Buggy’s still stuck in that same loop: Sleep. Overthink. Sleep. Overthink. Sleep. Overthink. Of course, there are brief things that break the cycle like Mohji and Cabaji checking on him and feeding him and making sure he’s being taken care of, but other than that, it’s just sleep, overthink, repeat. He just doesn’t see the point in getting out of bed every day when Mihawk and Crocodile are just going to make his life a living hell, or worse, end his miserable existence.

Despite all his stress though, there are times when his bedroom is rather comforting, he knows that it offers him no real protection from the outside world, but in his room he feels safe and like he’s miles away from all his problems even though they’re literally just right outside. He thinks he’s missed, hm…12 meetings now, maybe 13 …14? Who knows, he’s surprised that Crocodile is even still calling for them, or that he hasn’t come barging into his room to yank him out of his bed and beat him to death for ruining his perfect schedule.

Buggy doesn’t care about Cross Guild though (or for much of anything right now) he never has and he doubts he ever will. He’s perfectly fine just keeping himself locked away in his bedroom for as long as possible. Mohji will take care of the others and if he doesn’t, then Alvida will, and if she doesn’t, then Buggy’s sure that Crocodile and Mihawk will boss his men around, but they’re strong, spirited, and oblivious, they can handle anything.

Something breaks his seemingly endless depressive cycle by the time he’s missed 18 meetings…or was it 19?

One of his men comes into his room around midmorning, like always, and tells him that a meeting has been called… But today, Mihawk’s the one who’s called for the meeting apparently, and Buggy instantly tells his subordinate to tell Mihawk that he’s still under the weather and can’t go to the meeting, to which his subordinate replies, “He says it’s urgent, Chairman Buggy, and that if you can’t go to the meeting room, that he’ll bring the meeting here instead.”

That’s got to be the worst, no, actually, the second worst thing he’s been told in his entire life. Why? Why now? Why can’t Mihawk and Crocodile just hold their dumb meetings by themselves? It’s not like Buggy gets to make any decisions or his input matters, why does he have to leave his safe space and go see them?

((A/n: Hate how they didn't add ChouChou to the live-action or Richie. The idea that some of you might not know that Richie is a lion and you might think he's just some guy is funny though lol.))

#one piece #cross guild #my writing #wondering if should post two updates today or save it for tomorrow lol #Look though the girls (gender neutral) are fighting!!#THINGS ARE SLOWLY STARTING TO CHANGE HMMMM #but first *singsongs* DRAMAAAA~#was gonna wait til the weekend to start posting all this bs but then i got the ask soooooooooo lol #ask #i be out here updating on random ass weekdays at random ass times when i know that the chances these will be seen are better during #the weekend #And yet...i say...fuck it...we ball...

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judgementdaysunshine · 6 months

Text

Just natural

Pairing: Maxwell Jacob Friedman x Fem reader

Description: When you get sick, your friend Max shows a side to him you never knew of or seen before

You cough roughly as you sit in your locker room standing up to go change in your ring gear when the dizziness from earlier came back much stronger almost falling had not been for the hand that grabbed your arm. You turn to see your friend Max by your side who looked concerned and even a bit scared as he slowly sits you down on the couch knowing something was wrong by how pale you looked, the cool sweat on your face while you skin felt burning hot, and your uncontrollable shakes that ran through you immediately yelling for your mutual friend Adam who told Tony Khan your condition who immediately told adam to have you took home which is what max did as soon as adam peeked in the doorway telling him that you had the rest of the rest of the week off if you were still sick after three days trying to walk but almost passing out before being carried out by max who drove you home in your car laying you on your bed grabbing meds and making you soup while you carefully changed clothes and laid under the covers quietly groaning in pain as max comes back. He props you up and as you try to reach for the bowl he stops you "Ah ah no I'm helping you" you eat slowly and take the meds slowly dozing off in between the painful coughing and violent shakes until you finally feel asleep with max watching over you, he wipes your face before placing a cool rag over your burning forehead tucking the cover under your chin texting adam back when he texted asking if you were okay as he made a quick store run to get more meds and ingredients to make you stir fry knowing that something more solid would help you other than soup and crackers checking on you as soon as he was back heading back to your bedroom when his alarm went off knowing it was time for you to take meds again as he finishes the stir fry seeing you awake shuffling back to bed after using the bathroom. You show a small smile seeing the bowl of stir fry whispering a tired thank you as you eat slowly watching tv until you took the meds again as max rings the wash cloth out before placing it on your neck then your forehead as you fall back asleep feeling max's finger caress your cheek which made your heart flutter until you were asleep, he falls asleep behind you an hour later while gently rubbing your arm remembering that it helped you calm down before your matches smiling when he sees you relax better from the action before falling asleep himself until two hours later updating adam on your condition that next morning after you wake up taking a few sips of cold water feeling a bit better than the day before "You didn't have to stay Max" he shakes his head as you eat having a bit more energy to fully sit up without feeling dizzy "I had to I wasn't just gonna leave you badly ill" he lightly rubs your head as you take meds feeling a warm press against your forehead smiling when he presses a light kiss to your forehead noticing the look on his eyes "You're not usually this affectionate or sweet" he grabs and moves you to sit in his lap. "I care about you and caring for you is...just natural" you melt as he sways lightly squeezing you gently before turning your face to look at him holding your face as he kisses you turning to lay your head in the crook of his neck "Love you Max" he smiles which makes you melt always feeling like putty when you got to see his real smile "Love you my doll".

#maxwell jacob friedman #aew x reader #aew #mjf x reader #mjf #judgementdaysunshine's fluffvember celebration #maxwell jacob friedman x reader

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changingplumbob · 7 days

Text

Little Tiny Update

Details below the cut but trigger free version I was busy today and will likely be busy the rest of the week. I've got stuff queued but eventually there might be a few days gap. Please keep sending me the asks, I will get around to them when I can. Possibly be slower responding to things just because they take brainpower. Much love

Results of the vet visit for my fluffly sister, the cat, today (Tuesday) show she has kidney disease. My IBS nausea was intense all day and taking her there and back took energy. Tomorrow (Wednesday) I'm getting up early to take her in and they're going to flush her with fluids to try get better kidney numbers. Normally it would happen over 2 days but here our Thursday is ANZAC day so public holiday so vets closed. So I'm glad she won't have to stay there overnight, don't want her thinking she's got another long cattery stay, but it does mean a whole pile of busses tomorrow, thank the lord they let us take cats in carriers on buses here now. Then Friday it'll be another trip in for repeat bloodwork and discussion of how we can change her diet to help.

Probably still in a bit of shock, the vet was saying her physical examination looked good apart from her weight loss from her reduced eating. She has to stop the arthritis pain meds which I'm hoping improves her appetite. The vet doesn't seem to think we need to think about palliative care just yet thank goodness so fingers crossed we'll still have some time with her.

Friends what would really help me is if your posts contain pet illness (realistic illness not the ones that give them glowing red noses etc) or pet death you put a trigger warning and/or put the death below a cut. Scrolling through and seeing a cat passing on is not what I need right now, even if it is a simple sims representation. Obviously I can't tell you how to do your content but it would be appreciated.

#tw pet illness #tw is kept below cut

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persephoneflowerpetals · 12 days

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Sorry for not being very active on here

Just wanted to give an update because a lot has been going on with me and I haven’t even had the time or energy to think about writing or being on this blog because of everything lol.

So, I recently got into a car wreck on the 14th on my way to work. Some guy was trying to make a left turn into the neighborhood I live in on the highway and his engine stalled and (even though he saw me coming and knew that his 20+ year old car had engine problems) he pulled out in front of me to cross but because his engine stalled he didn’t make it and I crashed into him. I’m okay btw!!! Luckily and thankfully I only made it out with a bruised leg, but my car is in bad shape and is most likely totaled because the engine went out after the crash and I couldn’t move my car out of the road nor could I even get out of my car from the driver’s side, I had to escape from the passenger side.

So…yeah, there’s that and I’ve been dealing with a lot of mental health issues because my work has been overworking me and pushing me to my limit and I’m honestly getting really tired of giving my all and breaking my back for this store and getting nothing out of it, like not even a raise (when I asked for one they said it was “being processed by corporate” and apparently this raise has been in the works for me since December so…I don’t think I’ll be getting a raise any time soon tbh and even if I did get a raise it probably wouldn’t be enough to keep me there). Like, just last Wednesday I had a stressed induced illness because I was so burnt out from work and worried about stuff that it made me physically ill so (for the first time ever in 1 year of working at that store) I called out sick (and then that same week I got into the wreck so that was great).

I’m currently working on finding a new job because what I’m dealing with now is getting ridiculous and I honestly really want to be on here and talk to you guys and make posts like I used to, but I feel like I can’t anymore because of life and that sucks. Legit, my boss is making me work 35 hours this week (AFTER MY CAR WRECK 😑) even though she knows what I’m dealing with right now and knows how overworked I am. She had the nerve to say “I don’t want to overwork you” as she adjusted my schedule for the 3rd time because someone who is CONSTANTLY calling out in the store (and they refuse to fire her for some reason AND there’s another employee that’s going to be out all month) can’t come to work for the rest of this week so I have to cover for her. Oh yeah…and you know what else??? I have to train a new employee on top of all of that. I’m not a manager. I’m not even full time. I don’t get vacation time or sick days or paid holidays (even though we literally only get 2 holidays off and that’s Christmas Day and Thanksgiving Day, so not that it even matters anyways) or any kind of benefits. And I don’t get paid extra for training new hires. It’s ridiculous. My boss even asked if I felt comfortable training a new employee after what I’ve gone through with the wreck and how stressed I am (which I respect) and I told her no because I really am dealing with a lot and don’t need the stress of training someone on top of that, yet here I am so…I’m just tired of being a doormat for this company and letting them treat me like a workhorse. It was fine at first because I needed the money (and I still do), but the lack of sympathy after the wreck and being so overworked and stressed that I became physically ill is concerning and I think it’s a sign that I need to move on and find something else.

So yeah, sorry for the rant there but I just wanted to share what I’m dealing with and what I’m going through. Like, I still have stuff at home I have to deal with too and financial issues (and getting in a car wreck certainly doesn’t help that at all), so yeah. I have an interview tomorrow for a job that would really be beneficial to me and would be a perfect fit for me and I’m really hoping and praying I get the job because it’s would just help me so much and it’s such a good job!

Anyways, I know I share updates a lot, but I realized I haven’t really been active on here and I just wanted to share why and kinda release some tension because I’m really going through it lol.

#update #kind of a rant #sorry I’m not one to rant about personal stuff on here but…I got a lot going on lol #it’s not super personal but it’s stressful to me

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mists-reading-nook · 1 year

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How do you think SAGAU would react to uninstalling and reinstalling the game for computer management?

Imagine the freaking out where you uninstall unprompted, no goodbyes or anything. The world goes dark as a state of panic sweeps the land. Later you make your triumphant return heralded by; "Damn hard drive".

Immediately someone like Albedo is assigned to look into an archaic language known as 'game files' or 'crash reports', to prevent further interferences in the connection. It seems their history was not erased (you still have your account after all), but things were disordered. Mondstat was next to Natlan, windwheel asters grew on roofs, and vessels ceased their connections.

Omg yes...

As someone who has to deinstall and reinstall to update,the Angst is prefect! It's a bit short,but I did cut a couple parts (maybe ill turn them into actual fics,we'll see)

I hope you enjoy!

The world was tearing itself apart. People were freezing in place,the statue of barbatos in Mondstadt was inexplicably floating in the sky, cities were uprooted,buildings destroyed. Pepole gathered in the streets,in the temples,in front of statues,anywhere they could go. They were on their knees, praying for forgiveness from their Creator. Forgiveness for whatever grave sin they committed. Vessels could feel the bond between them and you severing,ripping their souls and sometimes even their bodies. The more powerful and more "beloved" vessels had it the worst. They were in excruciating pain,pain they ignored so they could beg for forgiveness. Some made offering after offering,some said prayer after prayer. Some did both.

After days and months of suffering,of pure pain,the world mended itself. The vessels could feel their connection returning,surging power and energy back into their mangled bodies. When you finally returned,your words struck them to their core. A "hard drive"?? What was that? What had it done to keep their creator away from them? Was this hard drive the reason you punished them so severely? A certain chief alchemist was put on the top of the research of this "hard drive",as well as some strange,seemingly ancient languages. It wasn't easy,and they couldn't truly understand any of these strange things,but they had to try. That couldn't happen again. That wouldn't happen again. They would Male sure of it. Nothing would separate them from their creator again. Nothing at all.

Albedo was researching many complex things,things he had never heard of or seen before,but after every experiment or new find,he sent out a progress report to Jean and some other (important) acolytes. They were quite through with many sections. If one of those sections happened to have reports of getting the creator back. If there was,no one spoke of it. Don't worry dear creator,you'll be with them very very soon…

#genshin cult au #genshin impact sagau #genshin sagau #sagau cult au #sagau #sagau genshin #sagau brainrot #genshin imagines #♡Mist answer's<3♡#this is a combination of both game sagau and creator sagau #game sagau #glitch sagau

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amethystina · 1 month

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A health update (and a general explanation of my long Covid)

So while I've been pretty open about living with long Covid, I realise I've never taken the time to explain what that actually means for me and my quality of living. It's a phrase I toss around but I can imagine it doesn't feel all that substantial to a lot of you.

So I figured that now that I'm feeling a bit better (more on that later) I should do so. Partly because I figure it will make it easier to understand why I sometimes have to disappear for weeks on end.

So, if you're interested, feel free to keep reading under the cut :)

But be warned: It's long and kind of whiny. But also ends on a high note! So there's that.

The first time I caught Covid was around Easter 2020, long before there were any vaccines, which meant that I was hit hard. But no matter how bad I felt during the illness itself, the aftermath has been ten times worse. I've been living with my long Covid symptoms ever since, so for four years now. They worsened for a couple of months when I caught Covid a second time in February 2021, but have otherwise held pretty steady during those four years.

A lot of people experience different symptoms with their long Covid and, sometimes, they'll change as the weeks and months go by. I actually had a very interesting couple of months during 2022 when my sense of smell just went completely whack and everything suddenly smelled differently than it should. Like, I could be smelling an apple but it did not smell like an apple. It was a weird time in my life.

Anyway. My most common symptoms are fatigue, fevers, joint pain, brain fog, memory issues, incoherent speech, and lowered blood circulation.

(The latter actually kickstarted the Raynaud's syndrome I have on my mother's side so now I struggle with fingers and feet that will occasionally go white, bloodless, and completely numb at random intervals. Fun times)

The fatigue and fevers are the worst by far. For the past four years, I have had exhaustion fevers between two to five times a week. Or every single day if I'm unlucky. It's very much tied to how much sleep I'm getting, how well I'm eating, and how many taxing things I do each day. I need eight hours of sleep to be functional and anything less than that will most likely mean I'll end up having a fever before the day is over.

Unfortunately, I've always had issues with my sleep so, on most nights, I don't get eight hours even if I try my absolute best. Sometimes it's because I wake up too early and can't fall back asleep and, sometimes — because my life sucks — it's because my fever is so high that I can't fall asleep. Cue the endless cycle of too little sleep and fevers.

Because one of the main issues with these exhaustion fevers — and what makes them so difficult to manage — is that there's no way to lower them. Medicine has no effect whatsoever. Once I have it, I just have to suffer through however many hours are left until I can sleep and hope that it'll be gone in the morning. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't.

And every day my energy level gets just a little bit lower and the fever a little bit higher. Some days, all I can do when I get home from work is to lie on the couch and stare at the wall because I'm too tired and in too much pain to even watch something. And, again, no amount of medicine helps.

It continues on like this for a while and, every third or fourth month or so, the strain eventually becomes too much and I fall ill. My body simply shuts down from the continued stress and exhaustion, to the point where I can barely get out of bed. And, usually, I can feel it coming. On top of the fevers, I start coughing, then get a headache, and then my nose gets stuffy. And, by that time, I know I have about two to four days before I get sick. It's so accurate that my coworkers have learned that when I give the sign, they have to tell me whatever tasks they need to be finished within the near future since I'll probably be out of commission for one to two weeks.

But I eventually recover, go back to work, and so the cycle starts again. And again. And again. And again.

For four years.

All of this has, unsurprisingly, affected my quality of life to a pretty significant degree. I can barely work, let alone spend time doing any of my hobbies. I can't really travel anymore and, if I do, I'll get sick from the exhaustion. Even the 50-minute commute to the office (which I have to do three times a week) usually results in a fever before the day is over.

This inability to travel was how I ended up missing my maternal granddad's funeral. My shitty relatives didn't tell us the date for when he would be buried until there were only two days left and even if I could have put myself on an overnight train to get there, I knew I would be in no shape to actually be at the funeral if I did. So I couldn't go.

I did go to sit with my paternal grandmother as she was dying but, as expected, I got sick and couldn't return to work for a couple of days afterwards.

I also have to skip most birthday celebrations and any events happening on weekdays since I'm usually too feverish or won't manage the required trip to get there. My life has shrunk so much I barely recognise it anymore. I don't recognise myself. I used to be one of those people who could do a million things at the same time and somehow complete all of them. I was firm, organised, and efficient.

And now I'm not.

(... or, well, technically I am — at least compared to many others — but not compared to how I used to be xD)

Point being, a lot of things have changed and I don't like it. But, with that said, I'm also well aware that I'm lucky to be alive and I'm fortunate enough to have a stable job and a roof over my head. So, all things considered, I'm still doing pretty well.

But I also can't lie and say that this hasn't affected me in a deep and fundamental way. My life has changed and, right now, I don't know if it'll ever return to what I used to consider normal. And dealing with that knowledge — and the grief and fear that comes with it — hasn't been easy. I have cried ugly, self-pitying tears over this many, many times. It's frustrating to have no control over what my body does and to constantly have to be careful of what I do so I don't exhaust myself. I am furious that this happened to me.

But, after four years, there's also a certain amount of acceptance. And while I'm annoyed by my new limitations, I try my best not to feel too sorry for myself. Instead, I try to adapt as best I can, even if I might not always do it gracefully.

That does mean that I sometimes push myself more than I should, though. Because, if I didn't, I wouldn't never produce anything. As depressing as it is to admit, everything I've given you in the past four years has been while I was sick. I don't think a single chapter I've written or drawing I've made has been untouched by this. I've become an expert at writing, editing, and drawing even with a fever.

That doesn't mean I regret it, though — quite the opposite. I think that if I hadn't had a reason to write and draw, I would have felt even worse. A lof of the time, the excitement I feel when I'm able to post a chapter or show off a drawing I've made has been the highlight of my week. It's an accomplishment.

But, that said, it's still hard. Writing in particular. It requires a level of brainpower I can't reach when the fevers are too bad. And so, sometimes, I just can't. I literally just can't.

And, back in January, as I was trying to edit chapter 39 of Who Holds the Devil, I honestly pushed myself too hard. I was so determined to finish it that I didn't let myself see just how bad I was feeling — not at all helped by how emotionally draining the content of the chapter was.

It was only once I finished the chapter and posted it that I realised how absolutely wretched I felt. Not because of the chapter itself, but my lack of compassion for myself, I guess? Because the fevers were bad, I was barely sleeping, and I was both mentally and physically exhausted. And, what was worse, I realised that I was displaying depression symptoms I hadn't seen in over ten years.

All of a sudden, I got annoyed as soon as a minor inconvenience appeared. Everything people said to me was dissected into its tiniest component. I feared that people were secretly hating me. I couldn't meet people's eyes anymore when I was talking to them. I didn't realise I was just sitting there, staring at a wall, until several minutes had already passed.

And, as the final nail in the coffin, I stopped talking about how I was feeling.

And that, right there, is my last warning that I need to do something — always has been, ever since I was a teenager. When I clam up completely, refusing to admit to the people around me that I'm feeling bad, that's when I'm about to spiral.

So, the very next day, I went to my boss and told her that I'm getting burnt out and I need to do something NOW or this was going to turn ugly real soon. Thankfully, my boss is amazing and, after a doctor's visit, I was put on partial sick leave. Right now, I'm working six hours a day instead of eight and, let me tell you, I'm thriving.

Or, well, as much as I can while still having long Covid.

I'm almost angry at how much better I feel because, if I had known, I would have done this a lot sooner. I actually have energy now! I've only had a fever about four times in a little over a month! That's insane! It used to be four a week!

So yeah. I'm feeling better than I have in a long time. The downside is that the partial sick leave is still only temporary and there are no guarantees that I'll be able to keep it. Though, if need be, I'll just have to ask my boss to rewrite my contract and change the amount of hours I work because, man, I don't ever want to go back considering how much better and happier I feel. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I feel like I've gotten my life back. It's not quite the same as before, but close enough to it that I kind of want to cry again — but happy tears this time.

And so I've spent the past couple of weeks just... living? When, before that, it felt like I was merely existing. I've been drawing a lot since that helps with the depression symptoms (which are almost completely gone, thank god) but writing has been harder. Possibly because I forced myself to do it during a time when I felt really, really bad and now I'm instinctively trying to shy away from it. But, since I know that's just my mind playing tricks on me, I'm going to give it another try this weekend. I want to write and I miss the stories I'm working on. And, hopefully, since I'm feeling a bit better, I can maybe get back to a more structured uploading schedule. But we'll see. As always, I can't make any promises.

But that's about it, I guess? I'm feeling better and, since I am, I've been doing a lot of things that I wasn't able to before (like taking walks — I take a lot of walks). And I'm still trying to figure out my new routine now that I work less. And while I still get sick sometimes (I am right now, in fact, due to lack of sleep on Tuesday night) I always find my way back eventually.

So yeah. If you've read this far, thank you so much for your patience 💜 I admit that I don't really enjoy writing things like these since it feels like I'm whining — I was very much raised not to take up space or complain when things are difficult (an unfortunate side effect to being the middle child with two disabled, high-maintenance siblings) — but I also prefer honesty and transparency. And I feel a little guilty since there are times when I've given pretty harsh responses when people question why I'm sick all the time or why I don't upload chapters as often as I used to, but without actually explaining why. So I guess it's time to be honest?

And the truth is that I've been constantly sick for the past four years. Not only due to my long Covid, but also the emotional and psychological toll of all the loss, grief, and pain I've been through. These past four years have been rough.

But I'm not saying that to gain pity or make excuses. I actually think I've done pretty well considering just how hindered I've been. I've improved my drawings so much and have written... god knows how many words. I'm honestly kind of scared to check xD But it has to be over 600k by now, maybe closer to 700k.

I think my only regret is that I haven't been able to engage with you all to the extent I would want. I wish I could be a more active and enthusiastic participant in fandom — to seek you out, hold conversations, and give you all even a fraction of the attention you've given me. I feel like I don't offer you nearly enough.

But I also know that I have to accept my own limitations. So, for now, we'll have to settle for whatever I can give, even if it's less than I would want. But I will keep on creating, trust me on that, because I'm stubborn as fuck and even if my pace is slower, I'm still determined to finish what I start.

And that's the note I want to end this on. I have suffered, yes — more so than I may have expressed to you all — but I've still managed to create some beautiful things. And while I mourn who I used to be and the fact that some of you have never known me at my best, I don't think the me I am right now is all that terrible. Do I want things to change? Yes, definitely. But do I want to change the choices I've made and the things I've accomplished in the past four years? No, I can't say that I do. I'm proud of what I've done, especially considering my limitations.

And, if you're reading this, thank you so, so much for your kindness, compassion, and support. Some of you are old friends while others of you are new, but I am grateful to every single one of you. You have made these past four years more bearable. You have made it easier to keep fighting. You have made it worth it.

Thank you 💜

#Amethystina and Life #I don't really know what to tag this as #A rant?#A rambling?#An explanation?#It's just a lot I guess #And I admit I'm still hesitating whether to post this or not #I don't like talking about things like this #Or draw attention to it might be a better way to put it #But yeah #It's here if you want to read it #But do so at your own risk #Now I'm going to bed #And might just pretend I never wrote this because I feel awkward and embarrassed x'D

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