#if you saw this before it had real tags it was an accident I am nOT cocky that this would do well without tags
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Control (M)
Summary:
Seungcheol is the one mistake you should never make. The one you always do. The relationship that you equally have the most and least control over.
Genre: 8k words, College age but school is not mentioned, big dick!Cheol, simp!cheol, fuck buddies, pining, emotional repressed!y/n, y/n describes her relationship with Seungcheol as a mistake a lot, Cheol's possessive
Smut warnings: light degradation, dubcon, creampie, unprotected sex, public sex, cunnilingus, fingering, blowjobs, praise(?)
-
“So, you’re smart, you’re beautiful, you’re kind-”
You laughed, smiling at the boy in front of you. He was tall, and handsome. Dark, slicked back hair.
“Stop with the flattery,” you insisted. He laughed.
“I can’t help it,” he cooed. “You deserve all the praise in the world.”
He was such a flatterer, but you didn’t even care. You craved the attention that came from such an attractive man. A man that you could brag to your friends for fucking. A man who you wouldn’t see again after tonight.
You let your hand reach forward, your fingers brushing over his biceps. You gave them a small squeeze. He reveled under your touch. He pulled you close to him by your hips, his fingers brushing over the hem of your skirt.
“You’re dancing with the devil, baby,” he commented, and the little nickname felt completely wrong coming from his mouth. But you didn’t care. You needed to be with this guy. Needed to sleep with him to remind yourself who you were.
You needed to sleep with someone. Needed a stranger’s cock to fuck you open.
You needed a change.
“Come on,” you said, your voice soft. “Let’s go somewhere a little quieter. Yongsun.”
His smile only grew, and you knew that he thought he had hit the jackpot. A thrill of pride ran through your body at the fact that he liked you so much. You had been able to so quickly get him to succumb to your touch.
You guided him up the stairs, dragging him into the first empty bedroom you could find. You closed the door behind the two of you and he made his way over to the bed. When you turned around, he was sitting there at the edge. Comfortable even though it was a room that he had never been in before.
“Come here baby,” Yongsun murmured, and the phrase rolled right over your head. You wanted to hit yourself. Come on, get yourself together. He was gorgeous, you were going to get laid. This was exactly what you should want. This was the dream.
Yongsun pulled you closer so that you were in between his legs. He smiled at you, his eyes flickering down your body. His hands slid around you, rubbing over the curve of your ass.
“You’re so beautiful,” he mumbled. You wrapped your arms loosely around Yongsun’s neck, letting him drag you forward, his lips pressing warm kisses to your neck. You tilted your head up, and his hands slid down to your thighs and up under your skirt. His thumbs trailed over the edge of your panties.
“Let’s see how excited you are to be with me,” he mumbled against your neck. His fingers dipped into your panties and then he pulled away.
“Are you…?”
You groaned, pulling away from Yongsun.
“Sorry. Sorry,” you mumbled. “It’s not you I’m just tired...”
Disappointment flickered across Yongsun’s face, but he nodded.
“Yeah, I get it.”
You bid your farewells to Yongsun and as you did you felt eyes on you from across the room. You didn’t have to look to know who it was. Just his gaze made your body heat up. You closed your eyes briefly, exasperated. Fuck, why did he make you feel this way? No one should ever have this much power of you.
You avoided looking at him, instead making your way through the party and out into the cool summer air. You hesitated at the front steps, knowing full well you shouldn’t wait there but needing to anyways.
The door to the house opened less than a minute after you had closed it. You felt arms wrap around your waist and you instantly let your head loll to the side. This times when lips touched your neck you felt it run straight to your core.
“Seungcheol, please-” You mumbled. “I don’t want to tonight.”
Seungcheol ignored you, continuing to press kisses to your neck.
“Really? Is that why you came back downstairs after only five minutes?” He asked you. His fingers dipped under your shirt and you arched your back into his touch. “Come on, you know that you want this just as badly as I do.”
You couldn’t help the desperate noise that left your lips.
“Seungcheol, someone is going to see us,” you whispered, your voice low. You felt him smile against your neck.
“Good,” he mumbled. “Maybe then you’ll admit how much you like me.”
One of his hands dipped beneath the band of your skirt, his fingers dipping into your underwear. His fingers brushed your clit and then dipped further between your folds. He let out a low groan.
“Is all this just for me?” He asked you. You felt his now wet fingers drag back up to your clit, beginning to rub clumsy, slow circles around it. Your head lolled back against Seungcheol, his lips trailing up your body.
His lips finally came up to yours, pressing softly to the corner of your lips. You turned your face to the side, trying to get his lips more firmly on yours but unfortunately for you he turned away with a smile.
“Why’d you leave that other boy, hm?” Seungcheol asked you as he continued to rub your clit in circles. “I could practically see his cock bulging in his pants. He wanted you so badly.”
His hand that was still on your stomach dragged lightly up your body, pressing your bra to the side and wrapping his hand around your boob. His thumb flicked across your hard nipple. You whined.
“I’m not- I-I wasn’t in the mood,” you mumbled, but Seungcheol knew you well enough that he could tell you were lying through your teeth. He chided you softly.
“Well, you’re clearly in the mood now,” he said. He let your lips brush again, but again when you tried to initiate a kiss, he pulled away from you. You bite down on your lip as he pressed his fingers harder on your clit, but his pace was still slow. He was taking his time, cocky about the fact that you wanted him. He knew that you weren’t going to stop him.
You felt pleasure coiling through your body as Seungcheol’s fingers pinched your tits, and you couldn’t help the way your face turned, desperate for his lips. If not just to kiss him, but also to keep the frankly embarrassing moans from leaving your lips.
It was obvious to anyone around how badly you wanted Seungcheol, no matter how hard you pretended not to.
You thanked God no one was around.
You could feel yourself being dragged closer and closer to the edge.
“You going to cum for me?” Seungcheol asked softly. “I can hear how desperate you are. It’s okay to need me, baby. You know I need you too.”
You whimpered, your eyes fluttering closed.
“F-fuck, Cheol, I-”
You heard the door to the house open and you had never unraveled yourself from Seungcheol faster. Your hands patted down your clothes quickly. The person stumbling out of the party glanced at you and you hoped to God they couldn’t tell by your heavy breathing that they had just ripped an orgasm away from you.
The person who had stumbled out of the door glanced at you, their eyes glazed over from the alcohol. They smiled.
“Such a rad party,” the guy said. He stumbled a little, and another person came through the door. A girl. She rolled her eyes and grabbed the arm of the stumbling guy.
“Sorry about idiot here,” she commented. Her eyes flickered to you.
“Y/n…” She mumbled. Her eyes narrowed a bit when she looked behind you. “Seungcheol.”
You both nodded at her, but she didn’t comment on you two any further. To be fair, at this point you two were practically social distanced from one another.
“I’ll see you two around.”
You nodded and you and Seungcheol echoed awkward expressions of agreement. You waited until the two walked away, and once you had seen the two get into a car you felt your head fall into your hands. Disgust filled your body. God, what were you doing?
“Y/n…” You ignored Seungcheol, and he didn’t move. “Y/n, come here.”
You stayed put, and you heard him sigh.
“It’s okay to need my cock baby, come here so I can make you feel good, huh?”
You groaned but you couldn’t help it, you felt yourself moving back over to him just like he wanted. That smile flickered across his lips again, pride to himself at having been able to get you to do what he wanted all over again.
“So good for me,” Seungcheol breathed, wrapping his arms around your body. He pressed his forehead to yours. “You gonna let me have you today?”
You tilted your head up, arms draped over Seungcheol’s shoulders in a similar way as to how it had been with Yongsun not long ago. Seungcheol kept his lips frustratingly away from yours, as if reminding him of how badly you wanted him. Reminding you that despite the fact you pretended in front of others that you didn’t want him, you would do anything for him when it came down to it.
“Please,” you whispered. Seungcheol’s fingers toyed with the hem of your underwear.
“You didn’t answer my question,” Seungcheol replied, his voice steady but low. “Are you going to let me have you today?”
You bit down on your lip, you didn’t want to admit it, but you couldn’t help it.
“Yes,” you agreed, nodding your head. You leaned forward, trying so hard to get his lips, but he still pulled back. “Seungcheol, please.”
Your frustration was starting to grow.
“Stop teasing me, Cheol,” you mumbled. You lowered one of your hands to Seungcheol’s pants. You dipped your hand into them, wrapping your fingers around Seungcheol’s already hard cock. You tugged at it, pulling a groan from Seungcheol.
“I thought you were worried about getting caught,” he mumbled. You shook your head against him.
“I don’t care anymore, I need you,” you mumbled. You gave Seungcheol’s dick another tug, your thumb flicking over the tip. “Besides, everyone here is too drunk off their asses to notice anyways.”
Seungcheol hummed and let you drag him around the side of the house, to a place where you two were hidden in the shadows of the night. You grabbed his pants, dropping them down to his ankles and crouched down. Your tongue darted to like your lips as you took in the sight of his length.
“You don’t even want me to get you home?” Seungcheol asked, his tone was low and teasing. He knew that you were past that. He knew that now that you needed him, you wouldn’t be able to put it off. So you ignored him in favor of sucking his cock into your mouth.
Besides, it was better this way. If you guys fucked here, if you fucked now, then you wouldn’t have to worry about sneaking out of his apartment… Or getting him to sneak out of yours.
He was so proud that he was fucking you. It was hell keeping him from telling others. Every time that you ended up here with the tip of his cock brushing the back of your throat he grew cockier. More insistent that you liked him.
Maybe he was right. After all, anyone who didn’t like him wouldn’t be on their knees in a backyard sucking his cock.
Seungcheol groaned, his fingers lightly burying in your hair. His mouth was letting the most perfect little moans and whines leave his lips. The whines proof of his struggle for self-control. You knew how badly he wanted to grab you by your roots and force his cock deep into your throat. He held back on days like this when your attention seemed fickle. He wanted to make sure that you didn’t leave.
You wouldn’t mind it if he fucked your face like his life depended on it, but that wasn’t something you were ready to tell him.
No… That was something you wanted him to figure out for himself.
“Fuck,” Seungcheol grunted. “I thought you said I could have you today?” His voice was so rough. “Get off your fucking knees and pull your skirt up.”
You popped off of Seungcheol’s cock, giving his shaft a few pumps, eyes looking up at him innocently.
“Someone’s needy,” you mumbled. His fingers tightened in your hair.
“If we were having it my way we wouldn’t be outside right now.”
Your lips pressed together, but your core burned regardless. You got to your feet, pulling your skirt up to bunch around your hips and placing your hands on the house. You looked back over at Seungcheol. You wanted to say something cocky, assert your own control over the situation, but instead you just looked at him with wide pleading eyes.
His lips flickered back into a smile, and his hand came down sharply on your ass. A moan was ripped from your body as Seungcheol rubbed the spot he had just hit. His fingers pushed aside your panties, and he pressed two of his fingers into you.
“F-fuck.”
“You’re such a little slut, y/n,” Seungcheol mumbled. You whined, the words, however derogatory feeling like a compliment from his lips. He pushed his fingers into you slowly. Taking his time even though you wanted his cock right now and fast. “But I’m the one who makes you like this aren’t I?”
A whined tore itself from out of your lips.
“Cheol, please,” you whined.
“Left Yongsun just for me,” Seungcheol said, the praise going straight to your core. “Left that bedroom to get fucked by me in the yard. You’re too pretty to let me fuck you out here.”
“Shut up,” you mumbled. A laugh vibrated Seungcheol’s body.
“Yes ma’am.”
He wrapped an arm around your waist, and brushed the tip of his cock between your folds. You mewled, your fingers curling into balls. You let your forehead fall forward.
“You’re so perfect, y/n,” Seungcheol murmured. His lips pressed to your lips as he slid his cock into you. You couldn’t help it. The pleasurable burn that ran through your body as his cock filled your body. He was huge, always so fucking huge. You didn’t think you would ever get used to it. “So perfect for me, take my cock so perfectly.”
“You’re such a tease,” you bit out, but your words met thin air. Seungcheol didn’t care that he was teasing you. He didn’t care that him taking his time was driving you crazy. He never did. You rarely came around to begin with.
“Tell me how much you need me, y/n,” Seungcheol breathed. You shook your head, which made Seungcheol’s teeth nip at your neck. Your body shivered; your gaze shot up.
“Cheol,” you blurted. “You know you can’t leave marks.”
“I’m sorry baby,” he mumbled. “I can’t help it. You know I can’t help it. I want everyone to know your mine.”
“I’m not yours,” you bit back. The comment made his cock slip from your pussy. You cried out in desperation, pushing your ass back towards Seungcheol. “Cheol, fuck I-”
You could hear his free hand wrap around his cock, and he started to pump it. You could hear how wet from your pussy he was.
“Cheol, cheol, cheol,” you panted. “I-I’m sorry.”
“That’s not what I want to hear,” Seungcheol replied. His pumps were getting faster.
“B-But-”
“You’re not mine yeah? So why should I fuck you?”
Your heart was pounding. You wanted his cock so badly.
“I was lying, okay?” You blurted. “I’m yours, okay? All yours. Please Cheol, please-”
Seungcheol pushed his cock back into you, setting a faster pace. His hand wrapped around your waist again, his fingers pushing down on your clit.
“That’s right baby, you’re all mine,” he agreed. “We both know how badly you need me. Why don’t you show me? Why don’t you show me how badly you need me.”
Your body began to shake as your walls began to clamp around Seungcheol’s dick, your orgasm being ripped from your body like you really were all Seungcheol’s. He fucked you through your orgasm, his lips pressing those kisses to your neck.
“Where do you want my cum?” He asked, as if he didn’t already know the answer.
“Inside.”
Your name fell off of his lips like a promise, his cum being pumped deep inside of you. Your body burned under his attention, your breath coming in heavy pants as his thrusts slowed. He stopped buried deep inside of you. His lips brushed up against your ear. You turned your head, hoping to finally get his lips but he pulled away from you just like he always did.
That was his biggest grab for control in your relationship. He never let you kiss him. No matter how badly you wanted to. No matter how badly he wanted to.
You two were silent for a minute, dragged out of your sex-haze by the front door to the house being opened and closed. You nudged Seungcheol with your elbow.
“We’ve got to go.”
You could feel how badly he didn’t want to go but regardless he pulled himself out of you. You were too nonchalant when it came to him, maybe. You stood up, fixing your panties and brushing down your skirt. Seungcheol pulled his pants back up, hooking his thumbs into his jeans pockets. He stared at you, as you tried to make yourself look like you hadn’t been fucked. You could feel his cum leaking down your legs.
“Can I take you home?” Seungcheol asked. You didn’t respond to him, you just glanced at him. He knew the answer. He sighed, his eyes flitting away from you.
You walked over to him, against your better judgement. You got up to the tips of your toes and you pressed a kiss to his cheek. You tapped his cheek right after.
“We can’t do this again.”
His lips flickered up into a smile.
“You know we will.”
-
“There she is.”
Mocking applause filled your apartment living room as you emerged from your bedroom after having gotten home at nearly four in the morning. Your two roommates, Seokmin and Dayoung looked at you with matching wide smiles on their lips. You groaned, burying your face in your hands as you walked.
“Another day, another party that you disappear from,” Dayoung said with a whistle. You gave her a mocking life and walked into the kitchen, pulling open the fridge door. “The question that remains… Did you get laid?”
Memories of Seungcheol flickered through your mind. You pressed your lips together, forcing a smile.
“You know I did,” you replied, trying to hide your shame. Your fingers twitched. The worst part being that you wanted Seungcheol to be inside of you right now. You shook the thoughts from your head.
“You do nothing but score,” Seokmin said with a surprised laugh. You shrugged off the statement.
“Can’t help it,” you replied. “I’m too pretty.”
Honestly, it was true. You were always getting the attention of other people. If you really wanted, you could have anyone you wanted.
“Aren’t you tired of it?” Seokmin asked you. You frowned.
“Tired of…?”
“Tired of sleeping with different people all the time?” Seokmin asked. “Doesn’t it get exhausting?”
You pretended to entertain what Seokmin had said.
“I’m not interested in just being with one person,” you replied pointedly. “There’s something exciting about fucking someone else every week.” You let a teasing smile cross your lips. “I don’t think just one dick could ever satisfy me.”
-
You slammed Seungcheol against the wall of his bedroom, desperately pushing his shirt up over his head.
“Come on Cheol,” you insisted. Seungcheol hummed, allowing you to pull his shirt off, watching you as you got down on your knees and began to undo his belt buckle. “Wearing too much. Work with me.”
You threw Seungcheol’s belt to the side and unbuttoned his pants. You pushed his pants down his legs, tearing his underwear down. He wasn’t helping you at all, just watching you in amusement. You didn’t even care, you whined when you saw his cock was out.
“Fuck, I love your cock so much,” you mumbled. You wrapped your fingers around him and gave him a tug.
“Aren’t you worried?” Seungcheol asked, his voice light and airy. “Wonwoo and Mingyu are just through the door.”
“They don’t know it’s me,” you replied pointedly.
Seungcheol chuckled.
“Right, I forgot. You climbed in through the window,” he teased. “All for what? For me?”
“You’re not special,” you mumbled, hoping to knock him down a peg. It probably didn’t help that as soon as you said it you sucked the tip of Seungcheol’s cock into your mouth. He let out an airy moan, and his fingers threaded into your hair.
“I’m feeling pretty special right now,” he breathed. “After all, I’m the one that you’re on your knees for.”
“Shut up,” you mumbled around Seungcheol’s dick. You sucked him deep into your mouth but before you could start setting your own pace Seungcheol’s hands began to guide you over his length. He moved your head slowly up and down, little moans tumbling from his lips as he did.
You placed your hands on his thighs, fingers tightening against him.
“You’re so perfect,” Seungcheol whispered, his voice so quiet you almost felt like you weren’t meant to hear it. “So, fucking beautiful.”
He tugged your head up a little, so that your eyes were on his.
“I wish you could see yourself. Mouth stretched out over my cock, eyes wide and perfect for me,” he mumbled. Your gaze flickered down, embarrassed. You tapped his thigh, and his fingers released your hair.
You pulled off of his cock.
“Shut up,” you emphasized again. “Fuck me, Cheol.”
“I’ll always do what you want,” Seungcheol promised. He reached down, his hands grabbing your cheeks. He pulled you up by them, the brief thought flickering through your mind that maybe he was going to kiss you. Of course, once you were up his hands lowered to your chest. His fingers hooked between the buttons of your shirt and then suddenly he pulled. Button’s scattered across Seungcheol’s floor, but before you could complain, he had one hand on your shoulder, the other one pushing your breasts up and out of your bra.
Then, with a solid push you were pushed back onto his bed. You let out a soft whimper before his hands were on your hips. He pulled your pants down your ankles, and then your panties, before falling to his knees in front of you. He hiked your hips closer to him, his tongue darting across his lips.
“I think I’m the luckiest guy alive,” Seungcheol mumbled. “I thought surely… I heard you were on some date with a guy tonight.”
Memories flickered through your mind of your date that night. Dinner at Applebee’s wasn’t exactly your idea of a date. You didn’t know why you always told Seokmin you would go on these dates.
“I was,” you agreed softly. “Not that it’s your business.”
Seungcheol dipped his head forward, his tongue darting between your folds. He licked up to your clit and then sucked your clit into his mouth, his tongue flicking over it. You cried out, arching your back.
“But you’re here with me now,” he mumbled against you. You rolled your eyes.
“You aren’t special, Cheol,” you replied, a breathy moan leaving your lips.
“Right. Cheol.” There was that mocking tone. “Not special at all.” He smiled against you, focusing on eating you out for a few moments. As he sucked on your clit, he slipped his middle finger into you. “But I’m more special than that boy you were with.”
He looked up at you, and your eyes flickered away from him.
“Look at me baby,” he said. You looked back down at him. “What was his name?”
His teeth nipped at your clit as he pushed a second finger into you. You whined.
“It doesn’t matter.”
He pressed his fingers hard into you, making you cry out.
“No, it matters,” he insisted. “Want to know who I am better than.”
“Seungcheol-”
“Shh,” Seungcheol said. He slid up your body, grabbing your hands and dragging you closer to him by his hips again. “I don’t want to hear anything from you until you tell me his name.”
Seungcheol’s dick brushed against your swollen clit.
“Fuck, Cheol you idi-” Seungcheol pushed his tip into you and then pulled it right back out. “Kevin, okay? His name was Kevin.”
Seungcheol pushed himself deep into you, making your entire body arch into his touch. Seungcheol’s lips trailed down to your collarbone, and he smiled against your skin.
“I’m going to fuck you until you forget Kevin’s name,” he promised.
Every time you went back to Seungcheol it was stupider. Every time it made him just that much more cocky. You remembered when you were talking to a guy, and your phone vibrated.
Don’t text him: Upstairs. Now.
You had looked at him from across the room, a frustrated expression crossing over your lips.
No, you mouthed.
Seungcheol raised his eyebrows dragging his lips into a downwards smile. He shrugged and made his way up the stairs.
You were up there within five minutes.
“This doesn’t mean anything,” you whispered against his neck. He hummed.
“What was his name?”
“Sunwoo,” you breathed. Seungcheol clicked his tongue, pulling your head back by your ponytail.
“Let’s see how long you remember that.”
-
“Hey bitch,” Sujun exclaimed excitedly. She wrapped her arms around you in a hug, and then pulled away after placing a kiss to your cheek. “How’s it going?”
“Good,” you said with a laugh. “I hate bars but for you? Always worth it.”
She let out part of a whoop, evidence of having pregamed even though it was only five.
“You don’t even know how fun tonight is going to be.”
“Oh, I think she has some idea.”
Your heart dropped into the pit of your stomach. You turned over your shoulder, shooting Seungcheol a glare that his sister wouldn’t be able to see.
“Seungcheol!” Sujun said excitedly. “You are the perfect person to help me with this! You know what my favorite game to play with y/n is?”
You groaned, burying your face into your hands.
“Sujun-”
“Let’s get y/n laid!”
“Oh.”
Amusement twinkled through Seungcheol’s eyes.
“Well, that sounds hard. I wouldn’t know what y/n’s type is.”
You glared daggers at him while Sujun wasn’t looking.
“Long hair, bright eyes, long face… Not too many muscles…” You trailed off. “The exact opposite of you really.”
Seungcheol’s eyebrows danced.
“Hm, sure,” he agreed.
He played that game with Sujun, and she didn’t even realize the underlying jealous tones in Seungcheol’s voice as he spoke about what guys you should go home with. She didn’t notice the look in his eyes when you started talking to the guy they had all decided on.
She didn’t hear you sneaking him into your apartment.
“What was his name?”
“I didn’t even fucking ask.”
Kicking Seungcheol out was the hardest. You almost never invited him over because of it. It was hard enough to leave his place every morning. He always looked at you with big puppy eyes begging you to come back. Promising you that you would be so much happier if you spent the day with him.
When he stayed over you were always quite literally pushing him out.
“You have exactly five minutes before Dayoung gets out of the shower, Seungcheol come on.”
“I’ll be in your bed tonight anyways, why don’t I just stay and wait?” There was a smile on his face even though there was a heavy look in his eyes. “I can stay around like a stay-at-home boyfriend.”
If you were being honest, you had known right away that he had fallen for you and you were just trying to pretend like he hadn’t. It was in his touch, the way he spoke to you. You knew that from the start he had seen you as his and you were holding him at a distance. You were quite literally using him, but he was letting you because you were leading him on and that made you think it was okay.
“I think I’m a bad person,” you admitted. There was too much alcohol in your system for you to be talking about this. You turned your head to look over at Seokmin, as your eyes flitted away from your phone with the singular message of: You’re not out tonight, right? Come over.
“You’re not a bad person,” Seokmin negated with a roll of his eyes. Your lips flickered into a smile.
“You don’t know that. You don’t know what I’m doing.”
Your phone vibrated.
Or are you pretending to be someone else’s tonight?
You groaned and threw your phone at Seokmin.
“Jesus christ, Seokmin I’m such a bad person,” you blurted. He glanced at your phone screen.
“Who is Don’t Text Him?” He asked. You raised your beer to your lips, finishing it off and tossing the can across the room.
“I can’t tell you,” you replied. “But he’s a good guy. And I’m leading him on like a fucking dog.”
“Well, if he’s letting you lead him on-”
You groaned loudly, turning your gaze back over to Seokmin.
“What do I do?” You blurted. “What do I do? He practically thinks we’re together.”
“Just cut it off,” Seokmin replied pointedly. “You can’t lead him on if you aren’t fucking him.”
Easier said than done.
-
“I fucking can’t stand you,” you whispered as you shut the closet door behind you. “You played it too risky, you can’t be that close to me.”
“You didn’t really seem like you disliked it that much,” Seungcheol teased. His lips were turned up as you pulled his cock from out of his pants. You didn’t even bother to drag them down. You slid your hand up and down his hard cock.
“You aren’t some sex god Seungcheol-”
He grabbed you by your hips and turned you around suddenly. He pushed up your skirt, and aside your panties- Something you were much too accustomed to. His hand came down on your ass, before his fingers slid into your wet heat.
“Come on baby, you need to be honest,” he said softly. “Do you think that your pussy gets this wet for just any man? You’re so perfect for me that you’re already ready for my cock.”
He placed his hands to either side of your body and pressed his cock into you. You felt your head dip a little, pressing your ass back against him. Just proving him right. Just pushing him deeper.
“Fuck baby,” Seungcheol said, his voice close to that of a whine. “You really are so perfect for me, aren’t you?”
“It’s not all for you,” you protested, but even as you spoke you were pushing back against him, silently begging him to go faster.
“No?” He asked softly. “Then who’s it for? Kevin…? Sunwoo…?”
You bite down hard on your bottom lip.
“Seungcheol-”
“No, that’s not what you call me is it?” He asked. His pace was slow. Stupid, Seungcheol and his stupid slow thrusts. He was always taking his time.
“I don’t have time for this,” you grunted. “Faster.”
“Ask me nicer,” Seungcheol replied.
“No-”
“Then I can stop,” Seungcheol agreed. His cock slipped out of you, but it was so brief it practically never happened. You pressed back against him quickly, forcing his cock back into you.
“Don’t stop,” you blurted. “Please, Cheol, I need you so fucking badly. Faster. Please.”
He laughed.
“Of course, I will,” he agreed. “Since you sound so sweet for me.”
He picked up his pace, to the one that you wanted. Nothing being able to be heard from within the closet other than your own moans and the sound of skin on skin. You felt Seungcheol’s lips on your skin and you wished that he would bite down on you. No matter how much you said you didn’t, you wanted people to know.
You were just so scared.
Seungcheol brought you to your orgasm fast, just the way that you were used to from him and his lips brushed your ear as he whispered: “Where?”
And you fought it in yourself not to scream in desperation with your response.
“Inside.” A beat, and honestly more didn’t need to be said but you said it anyways. “Always, inside.”
You let your head bump against the wall in front of you and your fingers curled into balls as Seungcheol’s warm cum started to fill you. You felt an orgasm rip through your body as he fucked his cum into you, and he fucked you through it until you were both panting and coming down from your highs.
After a few minutes he slipped his cock out of you and you felt his cum drip down your thighs a little. You were so annoyed at yourself for letting him fuck you here because now you were going to have to deal with this situation the best you could in a public bathroom, but it was your own fault really.
Aggravation flooded your body at the situation as you pulled your clothes on, and Seungcheol just stood there watching you as you got dressed with that cocky expression on his face. You wanted to hit him.
“This can’t keep happening,” you hissed. As you spoke you heard footsteps from outside of the door. You threw your hands over Seungcheol’s mouth, suddenly finding yourself unable to breathe. Seungcheol’s tongue darted out to your hand, and you pulled away from him. He gave you an amused expression.
“That’s what you say every time,” he said. “You don’t mean it. You’ll be back.”
“I’m serious this time,” you insisted. Seungcheol just smiled, leaning forward. He teased you, his lips hovering just above yours. You fell for his trap of course, tilting your head up to catch his lips. He pulled away.
“Yeah, I can see how serious you are,” he agreed. Frustration bubbled in your stomach, and you pushed open the closet door. You stumbled out and looked around the hallway. Luckily, no one was around.
“What if someone caught us?” You asked him. “What if your sister found out?”
Seungcheol’s eyebrows furrowed.
“Who cares?” He asked. You shot him a glare.
“I care. She’ll have my head.”
“She’ll get over it,” he replied. The topic of his sister was bothering him, but you didn’t think it was for the reasons most people would be annoyed. “I don’t get why you’re so obsessed with keeping this secret from her.”
“It’s not just keeping this secret from her,” you shot back at him. You started to walk away from him, but he was following you. You were betting on him following you, honestly. “This isn’t something that should be happening. We’ve known each other since we were kids.”
“We have,” Seungcheol agreed.
“Which is exactly the point. This is a mistake Seungcheol. Every time we have done this, it’s been a mistake.”
Seungcheol grabbed you by your wrist.
“A mistake, huh?” He asked. “Was it a mistake every time you said you were mine? Whenever you begged me for my cum? Every time you sabotaged whatever connection with whatever guy you were with that night just to end up fucking me?”
“God, you’re so cocky,” you blurted. You ripped your wrist out of Seungcheol’s grasp and pushed hard at his chest. “It meant nothing. It means nothing. You just have a good cock, Seungcheol. That’s it.”
Hurt shot through Seungcheol’s eyes but you didn’t back down. You stood your ground, crossing your arms over your chest. You glared at him as he waited for you to take back your words.
You two stared at each other and then you heard someone from beside you say something. Your eyes widened and you put some space between you and Seungcheol. Real fear of being recognized, and having your dispute being acknowledged as just that: a dispute running through your body.
Once the person had passed your eyes flickered back to Seungcheol. He scoffed at you.
“Got it,” he bit out. “This really is the last time.”
Seungcheol walked away before you could say another word.
Honestly? There was something in the back of your throat as you watched Seungcheol walk away. You tried to remind yourself that Seungcheol didn’t matter. Tried to remind yourself about what you had just been saying. That Seungcheol was a mistake. Something that should have never happened.
But still, you felt something achy in your stomach as you looked at him.
In the weeks that followed Seungcheol didn’t reach out to you, and you didn’t reach out to him. You went to parties just as usual, but his eyes weren’t on you anymore.
And when you went upstairs with someone, and they turned up dry… You just ended up going home and having to take a cold shower.
“Your nights have been short recently,” Seokmin commented one morning. You glared at him as you chugged a cup of orange juice, frankly desperate to get your raging headache to calm down.
“There’s not a lot of fish in the sea.”
Seokmin chuckled.
“You should go on a date.”
You didn’t want to go on a date. You were feeling empty inside for a reason that you could not understand. Every single person that you tried to fuck was a disappointment, someone that you just couldn’t imagine being inside you.
Still, you ended up agreeing to go. Maybe it would snap you out of this… Whatever this was.
You wanted to scream when you saw Seungcheol sitting at a table with some girl. You didn’t know who it was and you were literally on a date with someone else but you didn’t care.
“Can we sit…” You pointed to the table across from where Seungcheol was on his date. The waitress had a look of confusion flicker across her brows, but she nodded.
“Yes, that’s perfectly fine,” she replied. Han shot you a confused look, but you shot him back a distracting smile.
“It’s a nice table, yeah?”
You spent the whole night ignoring Han. Spent it staring at Seungcheol like your life depended on it. Your eyes flickered from between Han and Seungcheol. Each smile from Seungcheol to that girl set your chest a flame.
Fuck, this date couldn’t go well. It couldn’t because if it did it was really over between the two of you and you weren’t ready for that. It hadn’t been over yet. Not really, but this. This made it feel real.
“So, then he-”
“I have to go to the bathroom,” you blurted. Han gave you another confused look but you didn’t care. You briskly got up from the table, bumping into Seungcheol as you passed him. Your eyes caught his and an apologetic smile spread over your lips, an attempt at hiding your desperation.
“Sorry,” you blurted. “I was just on my way to the bathroom.”
As soon as the words were out of your mouth you were walking back to the bathroom. You had barely made it through the door before Seungcheol was pushing through it too.
“Y/n, fuck,” Seungcheol blurted. “What are you-”
“Mine,” you mumbled. You wrapped your arms around Seungcheol’s body. “You’re mine. Not hers, mine.”
Your fingers fumbled at Seungcheol’s belt, unbuckling it and pulling out Seungcheol’s dick. You could feel it hardening under your touch. You hopped up onto the bathroom counter, hiking up your dress.
“Come on,” you insisted. You didn’t care that you hadn’t eased yourself open yet, you needed to remind Seungcheol that he was obsessed with you. You tugged Seungcheol closer, wrapping your legs around his hips and rubbing his tip through your folds. “Cheol, please. I need you.”
“You’re on a date too,” Seungcheol said, his voice strained. His hands came to your hips, tightening on the fabric bunched there. He pulled it up a bit.
“So, you did see me,” you mumbled. He had just been pretending all night not to see you. You wondered, selfishly, if all those laughs had been real. The flirty smile on his lips had been undeniable.
“Of course, I saw you,” Seungcheol replied. “You’re mine. When I heard you were going on this stupid date, I nearly lost my mind.”
Seungcheol pushed his cock deep inside of you, making you cry out. You wrapped your arms around his body, burying your face in his neck. You pressed a few kisses to his neck, trying to hide moans there.
“Your pussy was made for my cock,” Seungcheol mumbled. “Your body was made to be mine.”
You nodded against Seungcheol’s skin.
“You’re right,” you agreed. “You’re right. I don’t know why I pretended for so long.”
Your teeth nipped down on Seungcheol’s neck, making him hiss, his hips stuttering against you.
“You’re breaking your own rules baby,” he mumbled. You mewled, tilting your own head up.
“Fuck my rules.”
Seungcheol had been looking for permission to mark you since this had started. His teeth immediately bit down on your neck, and he smoothed over the mark as soon as he left it. Normally when Seungcheol fucked you he was slow and agonizing but not tonight.
“What finally triggered it?” Seungcheol asked you, his lips still against your neck.
“Can’t stand you smiling at that girl,” you admitted breathlessly. “Can’t stand you on a date with anyone else.”
“We’re not dating, y/n,” Seungcheol reminded you. “We’re not dating because you don’t want to.”
His words were rough, but his lips curved into a smile.
“Seungcheol I’m sorry,” you mumbled. “I don’t know why I pretended I didn’t want you.”
Seungcheol grunted his agreement to your words.
“I should leave you here. Soak you with my cum and not let you cum. Make you sit in here thinking about the fact that I’m on a date with someone else. Someone who makes me laugh. Someone who appreciates me.”
You wrapped your arms even tighter around Seungcheol’s body terrified that he was going to honor his words.
“But she’s not yours Seungcheol,” you insisted. “I’m yours.”
Seungcheol nodded.
“That you are baby,” he agreed softly. “All mine. My jealous little girl.”
“I’m not-” Why were you trying to lie right now? You were the one who had dragged Seungcheol here. Made him come into this bathroom. Practically begged him to fuck you.
“It’s okay that you’re a little jealous,” Seungcheol cooed. “I’m jealous too. Hate it when I see other men draped all over you. Hate it when they look at you and think that they have a fucking chance.”
“They don’t,” you breathed. “Not really Cheol. No one has really had a chance with me since I started fucking you.”
Seungcheol hummed and it sounded unconvinced, but his grip tightened on you. He was getting closer.
“Seungcheol, I love you,” you whispered, your voice breaking. Seungcheol shook his head.
“Y/n-”
“I mean it, I really do,” you insisted, knowing he was going to negate your words. “It’s not just because you’re fucking me. I love you.”
Seungcheol raised his lips to yours. His thrusts slowed for a moment and one of his hands raised to your cheek. His lips flickered back into a smile, and his lips brushed yours teasingly.
“Say it again,” he said softly. Your eyes fluttered shut and you began to roll your hips down to meet Seungcheol’s thrusts.
“I love you Seungcheol,” you repeated, sounding wrecked.
“Good girl,” he breathed. His lips pressed to yours. Chastely, at first, and then more heated as time went by. It was like he was starving, desperate for your lips and honestly? That’s how you felt. All these months you had wanted to kiss him. All this time you had needed to feel his lips on yours.
To finally feel his lips? You were so fucking relieved.
All this time you had been afraid to admit how much you needed him. All this time you had been scared of your own feelings. Because it was Seungcheol. Choi Seungcheol. You weren’t supposed to be in love with him. You weren’t allowed to be in love with him.
If he had kissed you before, you thought that this would have been so much easier.
“I love you too, y/n,” he admitted softly. His fingers came down between you two, rubbing slow circles on your clit. “You going to cum for me?”
You whined against his lips, nodding, desperate, needing him to kiss you more. You chased the connection, but he kept his lips just slightly away from you.
“That’s my good girl,” he mumbled. “Be good and cum for me baby.”
“K-Kiss me, Cheol,” you whined back. He nodded.
“Anything for you,” he said. “Anything for my perfect little girl.”
His lips pressed back to yours and as soon as he did you began to come around his cock. You dragged him right over the edge with you. He didn’t even ask if it was okay to cum inside of you but that only filled you with comfort. He knew you were his. He knew that your pussy was all for him to cum inside.
Seungcheol’s thrusts progressively came to a stop, and his body collapsed against yours. Completely spent, but he didn’t stop kissing you regardless. You found yourself gasping against his lips, so fucking desperate and needy and you didn’t even care.
Seungcheol pulled back, always the one pulling back, always stronger than you were when it came down to it.
“You have to go back to your date baby,” Seungcheol said. He slipped himself out of you, and you let your head fall back against the mirror. You shook your head in exhaustion. “I don’t want-”
“Shh,” Seungcheol whispered back. “I’ll see you again soon now, won’t I?”
You nodded your agreement. Seungcheol grabbed you by your hips, dragging you off the counter. He pulled your panties back into place and pulled your dress down. You stared at him, chest heaving as he tried to make you look presentable. His lips flickered into a smile.
He leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours briefly.
“Okay.”
He pulled away from you and just as he did you grabbed his wrist.
“Come over tonight,” you whispered. His lips flickered up.
“Yeah?” He was silent for just a second, but his excitement was obvious. “Can I stay over?”
You nodded once, and his smile grew larger.
“And we can get breakfast together?”
Another nod, and it looked like his smile was going to break his face in half.
“You promise?” He asked.
“You’re the one who said that we have to get back to our dates,” you insisted. You pushed at his back, trying to get him out of the bathroom. “I promise, okay?”
Seungcheol turned around again quickly and pressed his lips to yours in another fast kiss. He smiled at you and then took a deep breath.
“Okay. But don’t go back on it.”
Before you could assure Seungcheol that you wouldn’t go back on the promise he was finally leaving the bathroom.
Han knew you were lying when you came back to him and told him that you weren’t feeling well but despite knowing it was a lie he didn’t know exactly why you were lying. He gave you a smile, saying he understood and also insisting that you get some rest.
You were honest when you told him that you were sorry about the date going bad and that you didn’t think you two should go on a second one. Honest when you told him you thought you liked someone else.
And the embarrassment of having to end the date in that way completely vanished when you kept your promise to let Seungcheol stay the night. And that wasn’t the last time that you kept that promise to him.
Taglist: ... @vintageot5, @woo8hao, @toruro, @wonudazed
#Sorry this was longer than ten minutes#I DIDN'T ACTUALLY THINK Y'ALL WOULD ASK FOR IT#idk y#i had to fix the ending#don't make fun of me for the ending okay#or the taglist i don't know how to do a taglist i've just been faking it all this time okay#seventeen#seventeen fanfiction#seventeen fanfic#svt fanfic#svt fanfiction#seventeen smut#kpop smut#scoups#scoups smut#seungcheol smut#svt smut#choi seungcheol#if you saw this before it had real tags it was an accident I am nOT cocky that this would do well without tags#it’s been up for like twenty minutes and i want to delete it 😶#fay i get it now
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I could request the double life of the reader, one as an agent and the other as a camgirl. Hotchner is a follower but they won't realize it until they travel on a case to an area where it's hot and they see a familiar brand.
By the way, I love your writing. 💖😊
anon i love you. take my hand in marriage RIGHT NOW.
It's You | Sugar Daddy!Aaron Hotchner
introducing--
The Secrets We Keep (a Bunny and Clyde story) - Part One
Pairing: Sugar Daddy!Aaron Hotchner x BAU/cam girl f!Reader
Words: 3k
CW: mutual masturbation, sex work (is real work), power imbalance/play.
Tags/warnings: master!hotch, reader works at the bau and is a secret cam girl, hotch is a customer, pet names (bunny, sweet girl), perv!hotch, mutual masturbation, hotch being a little mean.
a/n: yes, oh god yes will this become something I can already taste it. catch me writing another insanely long D/s series about these two because I AM IN LOVE.
Disclaimer: YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO REPOST MY WRITING ANYWHERE ELSE WITHOUT MY CONSENT. REBLOGS ARE ENCOURAGED THOUGH. YOU MAY NOT FEED MY WORK TO ANY AI DATABASES OF ANY KIND OR TO USE MY WORKS TO TRAIN AI. FUCK AI.
The first time that he noticed a similarity he thought he’d officially lost his mind.
Maybe the sleep deprivation, insurmountable amounts of stress he was under, and the fact that he had yet to have his morning coffee were all working in tandem against him.
It had been a complete accident. You’d been walking towards your desk in the morning, in a foul mood and you didn’t care who saw it. You’d set your bag down on the wooden counter but accidentally miscalculated how close you were to it and slammed your foot into the metal leg that separated them.
A yelp escaped your lips, high pitched, painful, sexual. His ears had perked up immediately, his brows scrunching together as he tried to remember where he’d heard that sound before. Realization struck him like a truck running him against a brick wall.
No, there was no way, his brain was being absurd, he was being absurd.
The day wrapped him up in a tornado of meetings and he’d almost forgotten about the incident earlier in the day, but then he received a notification late at night, after he’d returned home from a long day at the office. She was online, his favorite, perfect girl.
Aaron had never been one for porn, never really saw the appeal of overly produced, almost veering on fake sexual content. He’d met his wife in high school, he was never in need of searching for something that he already had.
But after Haley passed away and he became increasingly frustrated with the idea of having to put himself out there and date someone else to get the intimacy that he desired, he’d bitten the bullet and signed up for one of the many sites that Morgan had not so subtly been recommending for the past few months.
To think that his colleague could tell he was so sexually frustrated to the point that he’d began dropping hints about it had made him more embarrassed than signing up for the site.
The first few times that he used the site were…interesting. Getting past that wall of righteousness he’d put up around himself was difficult. He wanted, no, needed release, craved it in a way he’d never felt before.
He’d go from stream to stream, curious, trying to keep an open mind. But nothing really spoke to him, nothing really made him excited to engage, to stay longer than a few minutes, to touch himself.
And then he’d found her, bouncingbunny1, or Bunny as she went by for the customers that paid enough to be in her inner circle.
She was beautiful in that girl next door who was secretly naughty way that he hadn’t realized he was so attracted to. Always clad in delicate pink lingerie, never showing her face, even when he’d finally gotten over his fear and paid for a private session.
It was easy to fantasize, easy to let himself go and allow the soft cadence of her voice, the filthy sounds of her moans as she touched herself for his pleasure and his pleasure only, making him come undone in minutes.
He’d learned something dangerous about himself then, a desperate need to dominate, to control, to have power over someone in such an intimate way. Watching this delicate woman come undone by his orders, his commands, his instructions on how he wanted her to pleasure herself was more satisfying than anything he’d experienced before.
Now, months later, he could confidently accept that this had been one of the best decisions he’d ever made. Sure, he spent as much money on her as he did on rent every month, but it was honestly worth it. He had an insurmountable amount of access, she’d told him as much on their nightly conversations.
It wasn’t just about release anymore. He found himself talking to her, texting and calling, whenever she was online and he needed her. There had been a few instances where they’d closed a particularly tough case and all he needed was to hear her voice, but she was unavailable.
But she made up for it with messages filled with those silly kissing face emojis, telling him that she’d make it up to him later that night. And he never questioned it, never even found it odd that sometimes those moments happened to coincide with them being stuck on the jet or pulling a late night of paperwork at the office.
He had no reason to think anything of it, no reason to ever even begin to think of the possibility that it was you…that it could ever be you on the other side of his screen. You, his subordinate, his teammate, his friend who he adored and cherished and thanked the universe every day for your patience, kindness, love.
Even with the slightest possibility, the smallest sliver that it could be you—
user1102: Bunny.
bouncingbunny1: hiiiiii Master 🤭🥰🩷💖😚
user1102: Can we play?
Bouncingbunny1: yes sir
He smirked to himself, immediately calling. He never showed his face or his body. The only indication that he was real was through what he allowed you to hear. That was another thing that he’d noticed about himself, how deep and sharp his voice could get when he allowed himself to be free.
You answered the call immediately. You knew he didn’t like to be kept waiting and you couldn’t contain your excitement every time he called you. He was the only reason you were still doing this, even after finishing college (debt free), after getting through the academy and getting the job you’d been desperately working towards all your adult life – he had come in and kept you wrapped up in his orbit.
You’d started working at the BAU almost a year ago. They were down an agent and you’d been brought in to train for the position. The transition had been stressful, something that you were accounting for but not to this degree.
You had taken a break from camming in preparation for the adjustment period, taking your time to see if you would even want to return to it or if it was a closed chapter in your book.
But you’d returned home one night after a particularly grueling case, with so much pent up energy, so much bratty energy that the only way that you knew how to get it out in a healthy way was to put on a show.
You’d spent the next few hours with your bluetooth vibrator inside you, a pretty baby blue lingerie set over it, cumming over and over and over and over again as the people watching paid to make the device go faster and faster and faster.
That’s when you first met him, user1102. After the first hour was up and you were practically hanging on to your couch for dear life, he’d told you he’d pay five hundred dollars if you took a break, if you drank a full glass of water for him on camera to show him you were taking care of yourself.
And so you did, everyone else in the chat respecting the decision, albeit annoying as it was, since they all understood that money spoke volumes and they were not in the market to try and outbid whoever he was.
You didn’t recognize him from your usual clients which meant that this was the first time he was seeing you, and what a night to start indeed. He kept coming back after that, every time that you were able to find the time or needed to find release, to clear your mind of the day’s events.
He was always a big tipper, an even bigger flirt, always made sure to send public and private messages while you played live, always said hello and goodbye.
You’d squealed loudly when he finally requested a private session and made sure you looked extra good for him. He was perfect, even if you had no idea what he looked like, and these sessions became more and more frequent to the point that you’d almost stopped performing for other people.
You were sitting in front of your couch on the cold wood floor, a fluffy towel under you. He could see a few toys off camera and a large water bottle that he’d gotten you next to them, clearly just in frame for him.
“Hi bunny,” he groaned, his hand already wrapped around his cock.
“Hi Master,” you whimpered, already feeling spacey and out of it. It was always like this with him, easy to slip, to submit, to simply allow your brain to think about following his instructions.
“Someone’s eager,” he mocked and you immediately knew what he was talking about. It was crazy to think that you were so attuned to him, to where his mind was. It filled you with warmth every time that you could anticipate his thoughts, his needs, his desires.
“Prepared,” you whined, offended. “I always make a mess when we play and I’m tired of having to mop my floor.”
He chuckled, hand tightening around himself. He never had to work to get hard when he spoke with you, the mere thought of getting to play, as you liked to call it, enough to get him going.
That’s when he noticed it, a small band aid on the side of your foot.
“What happened to your foot, sweet girl?” he asked, his heart beating uncomfortably fast, blood practically shooting up to his ears and his cock.
“Oh…” you started, a little afraid that he’d punish you for not being careful. “I bumped it against a chair today.”
He came harder than he’d ever had that night just by the mere thought that you were the one letting out those addicting noises, that you were the one coming undone because of him, that you were the one writhing, shaking, panting, so completely at his mercy that you’d quite literally do anything for him.
You were in god awful, swampy Florida. The summer sun was unforgiving, the cozy, long sleeve you had chosen for what you believed would be a long day at the office doing paperwork was definitely the worst clothing choice as the humidity practically clung to your body.
You wanted to scream, wanted to punch something, wanted to take it off and not worry about flaunting your practically naked breasts to everyone around you. Anything to get rid of the burning heat that trapped your body.
You were practically a walking puddle when you made it back to the station, practically bolting to the bathroom in a cloud of smoke. Morgan couldn’t help but chuckle, he’d been teasing you about it all afternoon, especially after he’d urged you to change and you had refused because you were sure you’d be staying inside with Reid in the comfort of the air conditioned building.
Aaron couldn’t help but notice your mood. You weren’t normally this grumpy. You were usually the one making sure he stopped frowning. He gave you a moment and then followed behind swiftly.
You stepped into the women’s bathroom and immediately pulled your shirt over your head, tossing it aggressively over the sink. You stood there, heaving, allowing the cold air to seep into your body, to have it calm you down, ground you.
Aaron was about to knock when he saw the door slightly ajar and he immediately stilled, his eyes landing on your topless body. It was too similar, you were too similar, his brain now desperately trying to find similarities between you and her.
You were wearing a cupless white lace bra, one that he could’ve sworn he’d bought you only a few days prior. You hadn’t worn it yet, at least not to his knowledge, which meant you must’ve just gotten it in the mail.
It was overwhelming to say the least. He couldn’t continue going on like this. He needed to know.
He pulled out his phone, discreetly lingering outside of the women’s bathroom, always glancing around to make sure no one could see him.
user1102: Bunny, I need you.
The second his thumb pressed send his gaze shot up to you once more, waiting to see your reaction. As much as his Bunny would sometimes tell him that she couldn’t play right that second, she’d always, without fail, answer his messages within seconds.
He could see your attention shift from the mirror in front of you to your phone for a second as you slid your new shirt over yourself. His gaze sharpened, his cock twitched in anticipation, his breathing hitched.
But instead you pressed one key and brought the device up to your ear, your soft, steady voice muffled by the distance between you. He sighed deeply, in defeat as he looked back down at his phone, his message unanswered.
“Are you okay?” he almost jerked back as he heard you address him, concern lacing your voice. You were right beside him then, those round, doe eyes of yours that he loved so much wide and worried.
He could simply nod, enough to satisfy you and yet not give you even an ounce of understanding into what was really going on.
You all made it to the hotel later that night. He had quickly checked you all in since you were all about to drop. It had been a very long day to say the least and all you really wanted was to take an ice cold shower and go to sleep.
“Alright,” he addressed the group. “Rossi, room 702, Reid and Morgan, room 705, JJ, room 806, Emily and–” his eyes met yours and he immediately lost his train of thought for a second before he handed the key cards to the raven haired woman beside you. “Room 807.”
He stepped back. “I’ll be down in room 604 if anyone needs anything. Back at the lobby at seven.”
With that you all shuffled towards the elevators, like a horde of zombies. You had been true to your word, practically cold plunging yourself in the shower and proceeding to put on some shorts and a baggy t-shirt to sleep in.
Emily took the shower after you were done, your plan being to throw yourself on the bed and pass out immediately. But as luck would have it, your stomach practically screamed at you to feed it.
You sighed deeply, crossing the room to see if room service was still open at the late hour only to realize it had just closed. You groaned in annoyance, the brat peeking through, your body starting to crave a different type of relief.
Luckily there was a vending machine down on the sixth floor, so that’s where you found yourself, irritatingly making the trek down. The elevator doors opened directly into the hall with the vending machine and you practically came face to face with an equally tired Aaron, clad in his own gray shirt and loose pajama pants.
You bit down on your lip, approaching him slowly. He saw you the second the elevator doors opened and it made him angry that he just knew it was you. There was something so specific about the air whenever you were around, it always felt lighter, smelled sweeter.
“Hungry?” he asked as you approached and you nodded.
“I’ll have whatever you’re having,” you replied and he leaned down to pick up the prepackaged sandwich he’d just gotten for himself.
Your hand wrapped itself around the almost phallic, plastic wrapped item, his gaze slowly falling down your body until it landed on your chest. To say he visibly tensed up was an understatement.
You frowned immediately, stepping forward, into his personal space, your own eyes searching for his but they were glued to your shirt. You looked down at yourself, concerned that maybe there was something on it that had offended him. It was rowdy, but nothing to write home about which only confused you further.
“My college friends used to be in a band,” you explained, trying to lighten the mood. “They made like three of these shirts,” you laughed, clearly remembering fond memories. “Anyway, it’s silly and stupid, I know, but I still have it.”
He knew, he knew all of that, because he’d once called her– you while you were still in your pajamas, wearing that very specific shirt. You’d told him that same story, with a few more details of course, but still.
There was no denying it now, no way to twist the truth, no way to unknow what he now knew for certain.
His own hand pulled on the sandwich and your frown only deepened, as if the gesture itself had cut you so deep, had broken your heart so painfully.
“It’s…uh– option three, sorry, I have to…” he was down the hall in record time, his heart pounding, his cock practically rock hard against his abdomen. He needed to calm down, needed to take a minute to compose himself, needed to get back to grab his phone so that he could—
user1102: Come to my room.
The message confused you even more than Aaron just had. You were in no mood to deal with anyone, even the man you had made you feel more alive than you had in years. That’s when you noticed you hadn’t replied to him earlier, but whatever guilt you were feeling quickly washed away as anger settled in.
Who the fuck did they both think they were?
bouncingbunny1: ???
user1102: 604
The color drained from your face in an instant. No, it couldn’t be. There was no way, your brain was being absurd, you were being absurd.
user1102: Now, bunny.
You gulped loudly, shaky legs somehow managing to lift carry down the hall. The bright light of the hallways almost sobering you up. Were you seriously about to do this?
At worst you walked over to his door, knocked and he stared at you confused and you’d just have to live with the embarrassment of coming up with a lie. At best…at best he opened the door and dragged you into his room, pressed his lips to yours, and finally gave you the satisfaction of fucking ruining you like you’d wanted your boss and user1102 to do for so long.
You didn’t even get to lift your hand to knock on the door before it swung open aggressively and he stepped into your personal space, his tall, broad frame towering over you.
“Oh, bunny,” he hummed. “Didn’t anyone tell you not to go looking for the big bad wolf?”
“No, Master.”
this was TOO SATISFYING TO WRITE I LOVE IT SO MUCH. it was crazy to go from soft boy mr. hotchner to just...insanity and power and control and i love how this turned out.
y'all better fucking FLOOD my inbox with asks for them.
tags: @xladyxdreamer, @ssamorganhotchner, @canuck-eh
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x you#show your fangs writes#aaron hotchner fanfiction#aaron hotchner blurb#aaron hotchner x female reader#sugar daddy!hotch#bau!reader#cam girl reader#I will see you all in hell where we'll be deranged together#show your fangs hotch blurbs#hotch x reader#aaron hotchner smut#dom hotch#the secrets we keep#bunny and clyde
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Oh Chute // Bob Floyd
Summary: For some reason you’d never know, yours and Jake personal Heaven becomes a check point for the friends you left behind. One by one the Daggers come through on their way to their forever life after death.
Warnings: Mentions of death. Blunt force trauma. F-18 accident. Bob Floyd Angst.
Word Count: 2.5k
Author Note: This is a spin off Series to Bruises. Masterlist Tagged below.
Bruises Masterlist | Life After Death Masterlist
Name: Robert Floyd: Age: 36 Cause Of Death: Blunt Force Trauma sustained via fall.
***~***~***~***~****~***~***~**
“Where the hell am I?” Robert Floyd had no idea where the hell he was. One minute he was in the cockpit, sitting behind Phoenix like he had done for years, and then? He was in a field somewhere in the middle of nowhere. His head hurt, a lot. But when he came to with a mouth full of dirt he knew something had to be wrong. Very wrong.
“Oi.” Jake Seresin loved golden hour. It was his favorite time of the day. When the sun would kiss the horizon and leave a beautiful golden hume across the fields that seemed never ending. Rolling plains of green lush fields that were all his, all yours. Your own silence of paradise.
“Hotshot!” Jake snapped at the Boxer whose hair stuck up along his spine. His bark was just that, all bark and no bite. “I’m gonna get your vocal cords clipped if you don’t cut it out man.” It’s an empty threat that the Boxer dog has heard a billion times before—and it always seems to fall on deaf ears. Hotshot kept barking in the direction of where he’d sensed danger looming. “Dammit—!”
Jake stood from where he was crouching to fix the broken wire on the fence that bordered what he could only assume was another property. Someone else’s slice of heaven. He hadn’t ever seen what was beyond the rolling hills, but he didn’t care all that much. He already had everything he ever needed and more.
“Hello!? Is anyone here!?”
“Huh?” Jake frowned when he saw it, a figure dragging a parachute across the field in his direction. “Ain’t no way—“ Jake shook his head and rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand. He pocketed the gloves he’d been wearing and took a few cautionary steps closer to the figure that grew closer and closer. Until he knew for sure who he was seeing:
“Floyd?” It comes out a little bit questionable and albeit hesitant because Jake isn’t sure why exactly he was seeing Bob on his property. “Bob? Is that you?” He calls out again. “Oh fuckk—this can’t be good.” Jake says that last part to himself, he knows that the only people here are already dead or figments of his imagination.
Bob freezes in his tracks, it had been a few years since he’d heard that unforgettable voice. It’s Jake, it’s Hangman. Bob can only just make out the blonde hair and the stupidly symmetrical physique, but regardless of the distance he knows it’s Jake Seresin. Oh crap. He’d fallen asleep before training hadn’t he? He was asleep in the red room right this very second, dreaming of a friend he lost not too many years back.
“Hangman! Oh my god! What are you doing here?” Bob asks all the while he’s back on track, walking towards Jake as he makes his way over. Hotshot is already a mile ahead and at Bob's feet in no time, wagging his tail and licking Bob's hand. A welcome fit for an old friend. “Hey buddy, hi!”
Like Jake said, all bark, no bite.
“Uh, I—“ Jake knows he should probably approach this conversation carefully. If Bobs here then there’s only one real explanation as to why. He’s dead. “I live here.” Jake rubs at the back of his head as he assesses Bob's reaction. There’s hardly a flinch. “This is my home man, and you’re a long way from yours.” It doesn’t make sense, why was Robert Floyd in Jake's own personal afterlife? He didn’t understand the lore as well as you but even this was making his brain itch. Surely you’d know why?
“What do you mean you live here?” Jake can see the confusion all over Bob's face when he finally does reply. He can also see the blood creeping out of his nose. Something had gone wrong, terribly wrong. “I just ejected, my chute got tangled—“ Jakes standing there with his arms crossed just waiting for the lightbulb to turn on. Bobs a smart guy, he should be able to connect the dots. “Hang on, you died.” Bob's frowning while he looks up at Jake once again. “You died years ago. Does that mean?”
“Dead doesn’t mean done Bob.” Jake just smiles, he still wasn’t sure why Bob was here or what happened to bring Bob here, but he was thankful to see an old friend. “You might of—“ Jake doesn’t get to finish his sentence before Bob is cutting him off. Nope. Nope this can’t be happening. Bobs not dead. He’s just asleep.
“I need to get back.” Bob just shakes his head in disbelief. “I uh—I’m dreaming, yeah.” It’s his way of processing what’s happening. “I’m dreaming, yeah, yeah no I fell asleep in the rec room didn’t I?” There’s a silence that lingers in the field while Jake just looks at his old colleague, god he didn’t look a day older than the last time Jake saw the WSO.
“Sure pal.” Jake just sighs while the two men hug for what feels like the first time in a lifetime. He can feel how fast Bob's heart is racing. “Why don’t you come up to the house? I’ll fix you something to drink.” It’s the only thing Jake can think of to help settle the clearly distressed soul. Bob nods, he doesn’t know what else to do. He’s tried to wake up a few times now but damn this dream really feels real.
“Jake, is this real?” Bob nearly sobs while the two men walk back up to Jake's truck. He’d driven up to the border fence a little while ago. “Am I dead?” Jake contemplates how to handle this situation, but he settles on a little humour to take the edge off. He always did love fucking with Bob.
“As a doorknob dude.” Jake chuckles softly all the while Bob just stands there in disbelief. “You probably hit the ground hard too.'' Jake can see the colour draining from Bob's face as he takes his helmet off in the passage's seat. It’s then he sees the blood pouring out of Bob's ears. Damn. The ground must have been really hard. Jake remembers that feeling all too well. The thud, the snow. But for Bob it must have been so much worse.
“Oh god.”
***~***~***~***~***~***~***~**
“Honey!” You heard Jake's boots against the hardwood floor before you saw him. He’s got that all too familiar walk that lets you know it’s him. Not that it would ever be anyone else, but right now it did sound as if there were a few extra footsteps present. “You around?”
“I’m in the kitchen with Ellie!” You cooed back. Bouncing softly while you waited for your tea to steep. “She’s just gone down for a—“ Before you could even say that your daughter had just fallen asleep against your chest in her wrap, you were rendered speechless by the scared silhouette behind your husband. “Bob?”
“Hollywood?” Bob was in more shock than you were. “Oh okay yeah now I’m definitely dreaming.” He steps past Jake and into the kitchen to give you a hug that was all too welcomed. You send your husband a frown of concern over the WSO’s shoulder and Jake confirms what you think you already know.
Robert Floyd was dead. He’d recently died or was dying as you spoke and he was in denial about it.
“Uh—Bob honey I’d say it’s good to see you but I don’t think you belong here.” You cooed with a soft expression plastered across your face. As much as you loved seeing an old friend you knew for certain that if Bob was dead he needed to get to his own forever home before he got stuck between the land of the living and the land of the dead. “What happened? What’s the last thing you remember?”
“I’ll get you a drink man.” Jake adds all the while you and Bob sit down at the dining table in the kitchen. He finishes making you your cup of tea while he listens to Bob explain the last thing he remembered before he was waking up in the middle of Jake's back paddock.
“It was just a simple training session.” Perhaps the denial was beginning to wear off, you could see how shaky Bob's hands were while he played with his cuticles and looked around the kitchen. “Something was wrong with our altitude gauge, Phoenix couldn’t keep the nose and before I knew it we were punching out.” It all happened so fast. “I pulled my chute.” Bob explained all the while his heart began to race as realisation set it. “But it wouldn’t untangle—“ Your heart just broke, Jakes too. He couldn’t imagine free falling from the sky like that—even though he kinda did. “I think I hit the ground before I could pull my secondary.”
“Bob, do you know where you are?” It was the softness in your voice and the love you held in your eyes that made Jake fall a little more in love with you. He did everyday. Not a day went by where he didn’t fall more in love with you. “Do you hear anything? See anyone?”
When you had died, all you could hear was Jake begging you to stay. The sunset was so beautiful and the homestead was so peaceful and nothing seemed to hurt, you just couldn’t stay. As much as it pained you to turn your back on the faded image of the love of your giving you CPR, you had to see what was inside the home you now shared with that very same man. He’d come racing up the driveway not a few months later.
“I think I’m in a hospital somewhere?” Bob could hear a beeping sound, like a heart monitor reading his pulse. “I don’t remember it hurting, dying that is.” Bob let his chin fall as Jake handed him a glass of water, remembering that the weapons system office didn’t drink in life so he probably wouldn’t in death. “We all missed you, both of you, so much.” It was a beautiful thing to hear, even after all this time. You knew Jake missed his friends and hoped they understood why he did what he did. He had to be with you. If he couldn’t in life then death would have to do.
“For what it’s worth?” You looked to your husband with an all knowing smile before you rubbed your thumb on Bob's hand to sooth his worried soul. “We know, but we’ve been happy this whole time.”
“I understand why you both did it, you know.” Bob added as he sniffed. “Rooster was so mad for so long but I always understood.” It made Jake's heart sink into his stomach, but hopefully he’d get the chance to say he was sorry one day. “Am I really dead?”
“I’m sorry Bob.” You didn’t know what else to say. “If you wanna come into my office with me I can probably help you figure out where you’re supposed to go from here?” You offered. “I’m not even really sure why you’re here and as much as I’ve really enjoyed getting to see you again, but, you can’t stay.”
“Where do I go then?” Bob asked softly and all the more confused. “I don’t know what I’m doing?”
“What’s your perfect world man?” Jake asked as he leaned back on the kitchen countertop. He had his, you were all Jake Seresin ever needed. “Your idea of heaven? Your forever home?” Your little girl was his forever dream. “Surely there’s something—“
Robert Floyd was silent for a moment, he thought about where he’d want to spend the rest of his forever life.
“I had this old drum set when I was a teenager.” You caught the glint in Bob's eye, he could hear the music playing. “My dad owned this old instrument shop that had pretty much everything you ever needed in it, drums, electric guitars, pianos, even clarinets.”
“If that’s where you wanna go Bob then I’m sure that’s where you’ll end up once you step outside our door.” You could see the gears turning in your husband's mind, he was trying to figure out why Bob was even here. It was so random, so out of the blue. Were all his friends going to come through one at a time? Was this how things worked? Did they all miss him so much they couldn’t pass on without saying goodbye?
“I’m not ready to go yet.” It was as genuine as ever. Bob was just scared, he didn’t know how to feel or what to say. All he knew was that he just needed a minute to figure out if this was real or if he’d just fallen asleep in the rec room. “Could I maybe just sit here for a while?”
“Yeah Bob.” Oh how you’d missed your friends, the people who cared the most. “Yeah, take all the time you need.”
“You can go, if you want—“ It was the softest of voices, the most calming of lullabies. Bob could hear her right in his ear. “I’m right here, you aren’t alone, so if you need to go, you go, okay?” Phoenix cried as Bob turned around in his chair to look over his shoulder. He saw the image clear as day. He was in a hospital room being kept alive by machines and tubes.
“Who is it?” You asked as Bob saw his final moments play out right before him. He never wanted that, to end up on life support. Bob had always told the people who mattered most to him to pull the plug if he ever got to that point. Phoenix must have listened.
“It’s okay, you go, say hi to Hangman and Hollywood for me.”
“Nix—“ Bob smiled at the thought of his front seater. He hoped wherever his heaven was that hers wouldn’t be far away. “She says to say hi.”
It felt all too real when you looked over to your husband. These were his people more so than they ever were yours. He’d known them for years and left them all without saying goodbye. Now was his chance.
“I really did miss you Bob.” Jake sighed as he walked across the kitchen with heavy steps. His hand came to rest on the WSO’s shoulder, bringing a comfort Bob didn’t know he’d missed so much. Jake loved you so much, that was clear to everyone who knew him once he lost you. For some it was easier to accept than others. Bob only hoped that if Rooster got a chance to stop by on his journey into the forever that he wouldn’t hold his grudge. “But I couldn’t say, every breath I took since she left felt like such a waste on me.”
Bob looked at you, and then looked back up at Jake. The blood from his ears had begun to fade. There was no more pain. Bob was simply Bob. And he could hear the drums as clear as day just outside the front door. It was his time to go.
“I’m just glad that you guys got your happily ever after.” Bob chuckled to himself. “Even if it was in death.”
***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***
Tags 🏷️ @americaarse @blindedbythelightt @tayl0rhuynh @athenabarnes @imaginecrushes @whyareallnamesgone @mjmaximoffbarnes @amiets2 @mads-weasley @gabbyella @ephemeralninon @xoxabs88xox @pedrohoe04 @starkleila @je-suis-prest-rachel @clancycucumber230 @maisie-rebloging-blog @callsign-barbell @obiwankenobis-lap @some-lovely-day @paperbag333 @callsign-magnolia @jhiddles03 @hardballoonlove @shanimallina87 @seitmai i @abaker74 @missemrose @starset21 @kmc1989 @phoenix1388 @emma8895eb @tsofo26 @itsmytimetoodream @angelbabyange
#bruises // jake seresin#life after death //#robert bob floyd#bob floyd angst#Robert Floyd top gun#top gun fandom#top gun fanfiction
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Angst related to season 2 with elektra coming back and current gf struggling with insecurities regarding her relationship with Matt
Deserving ❤️🩹
Summary: You and Matt are in a situationship, and Elektra seems to spell trouble for your budding romance.
Warnings:AFAB & Female identifying reader, angsty, hurt comfort. I am not super versed in the art of angst, and I don’t know what to tag. If you want a warning here it is.
A/N: I hope this satisfied your ask, I want more of them! I hope this is what you wanted!
Daredevil Masterlist
Jesus sweet Christ. She was back. Long black hair, Hot as the ninth level of hell, knows how to kick ass, clever, rich. Not a lot to compete with there, you supposed, she’s just… hotter? It just… didn’t make sense to you, if Matt had access to all… that. Why in the name of all hell was he choosing to date an obnoxious, mouthy, poor, accident prone lawyer with no notable features to mention. It made exactly no sense. You weren’t that serious you supposed, you sort of dated, three real dates, patching a lot of bruises, snuggles on couches, you supposed that you were considered his girlfriend. Maybe not though, I mean Jesus, she is both named and dressed like a mortal combat character. On a good day all you could compare yourself to was someone from street fighter two. How were you to compete? Someone was clearly winning here, and you didn’t feel like it was you.
They had totally fucked too. The body language, the smiles, the communication? They knew each others bodies. No denying chemistry. You were confused about all your feelings too. Was this jealousy? No, it felt more like… resignation? Like okay, hot boyfriend has a super, SUPER hot ex, there’s very obviously some unrequited feeling, you are a worm and they’re bald eagles. Eagles don’t date worms, they consume them then fly off to their hotter eagle-y girlfriends and sometimes maybe reminisce about how good the worm was, before remembering how much cooler their girlfriend was. God, this sucked. But, then again, you remembered them dating in college, and she made Matt miserable for a time. You remembered stories from college, you remembered how long putting Matt back together took for you and Foggy. You remembered how hard he fought being loved. Remembered his belief that he was a terrible person. Remembered the long road back to happiness. Surely, you thought, surely there was no love lost there. She just needed his help, Daredevil’s help. They didn’t want each other. They were like oil and water. It would be fine. You decided to give Matt the benefit of the doubt.
You two worked and acted as if nothing was wrong. However, while for you it was an act, for Matt, he saw it as a sign that he could lean in on what he was trying to accomplish with Elektra. It was taking its toll, but Matt was yet to notice. It was horrible, you felt miserable, and you had no other choice but to simply wait it out. You knew he would make the right choice eventually, but when?
Sometime in the middle of this you’re approached by Jeri Hogarth. It’s a good offer, smart, pays good, right in your wheelhouse, and with a shining endorsement from Jessica Jones. (Or as shining anything Jessica says can get.) It seems tempting, but you don’t accept. You can’t, not when you Foggy, and Matt have built so much. Then he doesn’t show to court.
“Mathew! You can’t just bail on this case! There’s no way we can do it if you’re not-“
“We’re sorry, you’ve run out of time.”
“Damn it!” You slammed your phone down and continued to pace, waiting for Matt but he never showed. You knew about the Roxxon Gala, but with him putting all of your necks on the line for Frank fucking castle, you expected him to show. Not only that, but he’s bailed on dates, she’s staying in his apartment, she looks at you like you’re garbage and Matt just… lets her. Jeri’s offer weighs. It gets more attractive by the hour.
“I’m here!” He cries, finally bursting through the first set of doors, you usher him in, and witness the whispered argument between him and Foggy and don’t really think much of it. One time mistake, he will do better, besides, we’re saving the world here.
Things keep spiraling though, and you’re having to do friendship triage. You have to take the brunt of his and Foggy’s headbutting. It’s obnoxious, when you built this practice, you did it to make your lives better, not ruin your friendships. It’s weighing on you. Matt can tell, and the guilt he feels is unmatched. He just can’t stop. This feels too big too… important. Then one ninja battle too far puts you over the edge.
“Matt! Are you here? We need your he-“ there she is. In his bed. In your clothing. “Oh.” Your voice comes out strained and small. Matt has never heard it that quiet. That defeated.
“Honey it’s not-“ but he doesn’t get that far. Your whole body just… deflates. He can hear the silent tears, feels the shuddering. You’re done. This was the last straw. He can tangibly feel you slipping through his fingers, hears the shatter of your heart and that’s when he knows he’s been a fool. “Oh. Oh my love.” He coos, reached for you, desperate to put back all that he’s broken, trying to stop the sand spilling out the hour glass. You flinch away. His whole heart shatters. Breaks to a million pieces and falls there at your feet.
“Matt I-“ you shrug, a mirthless laugh shudders through your tears. “I don’t even know what to say here.” He drops his head and nodded, properly scolded.
“No. I- I don’t blame you.” He nods, gesturing towards the bedroom. “She was stabbed, it was poison- I… It’s not about that though. I know.”
“Do you?” You sniffle. “I don’t think you do. Matt I-“ You sighed and gathered your things. “I had to help put you back together with my own two hands Matthew, she ruined you, and you’re letting her do it again. I don’t even recognize you anymore. That’s sad Matt, because I was just starting to love you. I’m… I’m done.”
Then, you were gone. Your letter of resignation was on their desks promptly by 7 am, you accepted the job with Jeri Hogarth, and that was it. Matt fucked it all up. He kept fighting, but there, all day every day was this immense pain. He has lost You. You, the woman who every day smiled at him, and made him a coffee, and joked about his night life, you who never once required him to give up a part of himself to save your friendship, you, who had loved him. Loved him completely. He’d lost it all. Then, he lost some more. Frank castle had disappeared, and they had lost the case. Foggy and Karen left, Elektra died. He was all alone.
Then like the warm sun after a long winter, you came. It was the day of Elektra’s funeral.
“You’ve gotta let ‘em all go Matty. It’s time. I’ve told you, over and over, going have to let go of your emotional ties. You’re weak with them.” Stick shrugged, “without them, you could accomplish so much more.”
Matt chuckled bitterly, “No. You’ve taken too much from me already, but you won’t take my heart. Elektra is dead, we defeated the hand for now, but I never would have even thought it was worth it if it weren’t for them. For Elektra, Karen, Foggy. They are worth it. My love for them is worth it.” He shook his head, and tears welled in his eyes. “Y/N was worth it too, and you took that from me, you and Elektra and your little games. You took it from me, and Y/N may hate me. God! I hope she does hate me! She was the one good thing I had Stick, she put back together all those little shattered bits, and built me back into the man I am today. Then, I repay her with this.” He gestures to Elektra’s grave, to the city at large, to himself. “She was beautiful, and kind, and perfect. She made me happy. She made me want to keep fighting for this stupid city, and now Elektra is dead, you’re still here ruining my life, and Y/N hates me. Even with all that, it was worth it. Because if for one second, she is safer than she was before I made this sacrifice. Then fighting to the death, for this city, for her, is worth it. I love her Stick, that’s the only thing that keeps me going. I love her, and now she’s safe. Safe from the hand, safe from Frank Castle, and she’s safe from me. Knowing that Y/N has a chance to flourish and grow, that’s what makes all this fighting, this pain, the devil. It makes it all worth while. If I give that up, what is it all for?” Then he sat in silence, and stick went away.
At first, sitting there at Elektra’s grave, he thought the smell of your perfume was a hallucination. Another stray temptation, another ghost of a memory come to haunt him. He treasured it though, even the idea of you was a beautiful thing. He embraced the memory, though it was painful. Then he was enveloped on it, the smell surrounded h, then he realized he was no longer alone. He froze. Then his senses started to catch up to his reeling mind. The smell, the faint taste of the sweat of your brow in the breeze, the sound of your breath. You were there. You were there, sitting and staring at Elektra’s grave, holding flowers. Then you reached out a hand, and stroked his cheek. He pushed his face into your palm, starving for your touch. He whimpered, the tears he was holding finally let loose. Then you were speaking.
“I don’t hate you Matt. I couldn’t if I tried.” You sighed and bundled him to you. Placing the flowers on the bench and holding him as he cried. You had heard everything.
“I never got the chance to tell you.” He cried, “you were gone- I let you go. But I never told you.” His sobs wracked his body, and you ached with their severity.
“Tell me what Matty?” You shushed, drying tears and attempting to coax him to an answer.
“I never told you I loved you.” He sighed and clutched your face in his hands. “It’s you, it’s always gonna be you. I love you, I love your humor, your laugh, your smell, the touch of your hands can cure my every wound. It’s always been you. I was just too stupid to see you slipping away. I never wanted to loose you. You’re my everything, I just never said anything because- because you deserve so much better than me. I’m so sorry.”
“Oh Matthew,” you began to cry as well, “My sweet, imbecilic devil man. You always deserved me, every day you throw your life on the line for us, for this city. I always thought you deserved me, and I deserve you. I didn’t see that at first, and I should have fought for it. I left you when you needed me, and I’ll never forgive myself”
“No!” He cried, pressing your foreheads together frantically. “You will never take the blame for this. I was wrong you deserved the best of me, and I didn’t give it. I gave up? I was a fool.”
You laughed and nuzzled your noses closer. “Then let’s call it a draw and say we were both foolish. We can be fools together. We deserve each other.”
#marvel daredevil#daredevil x you#daredevil one shot#daredevil x reader#daredevil imagines#netflix daredevil#daredevil fanfiction#marvel's daredevil#daredevil#matt murdock series#matt murdock fluff#matt murdock x you#matt murdock smut#matt murdock angst#matt murdock fanfic#matt murdock au#matty boy#matt murdock#matt murdock x reader#mattfoggy
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Okay, so I ended up having to tag you in a post instead of putting the thing in your asks because It was crazy long. I am so sorry. I really don't expect you to read it all. lol I just ended up typing a lot and idk
I said before I like to tussle and I meant it! I think this is the first time I’ve ever had someone put forth a very articulate, detailed argument for what they believe and are coming from AND give the disclaimer that art (pun intended) is subjective and we come away with it with different things.
I still categorically disagree on every front lmao, but for the record— I really respect it and respect even more you actually came back to dialogue. Discourse is bad except when it’s good!!
There would be too much to cover point by point but to the credit of your explanation and in wanting to step up, I do some have big things that I diametrically see things differently:
I think the queer subtext is about as subtle as a brick lmao; it’s intentional and rightfully so, though it’s fascinating to me how we came to separate conclusions
Most notably, I did not read Art as uninterested in girls at all from almost any interaction he had. I have my own Theories of Art and his relationship with Patrick (of which is categorically queer, though admittedly complicated.)
To me, Patrick is unequivocally in love Art and has been since they were kids. Art, as evidenced by Tashi asking what happened between the two of them in the hotel, Patrick looking to Art to hear his answer and Art immediately dismissing it. It’s not to say that he doesn’t have (untangled, unformed, unrealized) feelings for Patrick (at least growing up) but from the moment he was aware of Tashi— which I took the tennis attention in the exact opposite way, in that was his drawing point to her as a form of sexual attraction— he only had eyes for her. He wanted her. He wanted her number. He wanted Patrick to throw the game like he promised so he could go out with her. But in my Theories (which feels subtextual, if not actual Text), Patrick was clearly the more outgoing, more sexually expressive, better tennis player, better.
It’s why, when Art asks about what happened between Patrick and Tashi and there’s that look afterwards, I absolutely read it as jealousy— but of Patrick being with Tashi, rather than Patrick himself. Romantic, sexual, it’s evident to me from the moment he saw her what he felt for her.
Tangentially, and this is really pedantic, it’s actually not very clear from the movie how long Patrick and Tashi dated, much less that they were together for a year. If anything from real world subtext, we know they met at the 2006 juniors US Open, which is typically held in June. Stanford’s fall quarter in 2006 started in August. Considering it’s 3 years later (2009), when Tashi and Art see each other again, this has to mean her accident happened in the fall of 2006– making it that Patrick and Tashi dated (long distance) at best, six months if we assume her accident happened at the very latest in November.
This isn’t to say Patrick and Tashi didn’t have something. They did! But there’s nothing to tell us that Patrick and Tashi were serious, as Patrick admitted himself. They liked each other! They liked the sex! But while Tashi isn’t the love of Art’s life at this point, she’s not Patrick’s either imo.
Moving away from a framing of Tashi as an object of affection and more as she is as a person, I really think we’d just have to agree to disagree when it comes to how she approaches relationships— particularly her relationship with Art. Tashi already had someone who could’ve kept her close to tennis, and was good at it— it’s Art who convinced her to coach him. Tashi doesn’t strike me as the kind of person to settle or accept anyone— much less a man— into her life, to marry and then choose to have a child with, solely for the sake of a potential grand slam. She’s Tashi Duncan, she could’ve had that with anyone and arguably— was on her way to. Art even says that the girl she was coaching likely had a better a chance than he did.
Whatever she feels for Art— of which I do believe it’s love, in her own way— I cannot reconcile the woman I saw on screen with someone who would shackle herself to any kind of heteronormative conventions or because it’s the right thing to do. (And while I don’t read this as your interpretation, I personally immediately get itchy when a Black woman in fiction is believe to be ace/aromantic— particularly in a piece of media with two mlm because that’s what fandom always does as a means of “getting her out of the way”)
Tashi wanted him, and we know because she’s with him— long before he was good at tennis by the end of the movie— and her agency in choosing him feels important to acknowledge— not as a proxy for tennis, or because she can’t have Patrick— but for the qualities that she at least at 23ish desires and wants from him. And then even as an adult, she’s categorically a good, loving mother and even says to Patrick— in their argument in the car when he asks if she came to fuck him to make sure he throws the game— “if that’s what it takes” which! Is so compelling to me that she spends the whole movie not telling Art she loves him and yet when she’s standing in front of Patrick, everything about her body language, her words, her tone, speaks to affection and love she has for him as a person.
I don’t think that has nothing to do with tennis, but I also cannot reconcile that it has nothing to do with her love for Art as a person and her life partner.
Tashi is also a cheater, twice over. Duality! Which if you knew me you’d know how ironic that is since I’ve spent YEARS expressing my disdain for cheating. Even in her cheating with Patrick, I personally don’t read that as long standing love or affection, or even sexual dissatisfaction (which is absolutely in the script but notably NOT in the movie at all, even in subtext), but low moments. She sees Patrick just seconds after seeing that racist bitch Mueller at Wimbledon. To our knowledge, she only ever sees Patrick again years later— and fucks him again, this time in another low moment when her husband thinks he’s going to retire.
I definitely agree that even these framings are nuanced and contextual, and that none of these characters are so simplistic to just be boiled down to villains or angels. They’re far more complex than that and that we can have this kind of discussion is proof of that.
I’m gonna be thinking about this movie for ages.
#seek speaks#challengers#challengers spoilers#challengers movie#tashi duncan#tashi donaldson#art donaldson#patrick zweig
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So I love Jollz and joshseki but nobody writes about valorant streamers 😔
I was wondering if you would??
Like ik jollz makes a ton of mom tokes all the time but what if he secretly had like a wife or something?? He's 30 now so he'd probably be married for a couple of years and he randomly says something about his relationship on stream or like reader walks in during a stream by accident not remembering hes streaming?
And joshseki has a girlfriend he met through valorant and they started living together? Like his chat randomly starts noticing pink stuff around his gaming room and stuff (like they share a gaming room) and start getting suspicious?
IDKK I just love them both and I think stories about the two would be so cute. And I think if someone starts writing about the two then maybe more would start as well. I know you're in the middle of an iso series right now but I like your writing because of how good and long they are.
Heya, thanks for the request! And your kind words, got me smiling like an idiot for too long haha
Also so sorry for the delay, literally everything happened when you sent this I am fish and the reckoning cinematic is my water I just CAN'T stop watching
Writing about real people is a very new concept for me so I hope I did well on this. Have a good read!!
[ Jollz x F! Reader ] / [ Joshseki x F! Reader ]
Words: 1k each
Note: Please don't copy or steal my work and pass it off as your own! If you'd like to use one of my headcanons or something, I'd love it if you tagged or asked.
。+❤ฺ·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ· +❤·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ·
Jollz!
This morning had been a slow one for Jollz.
His routine was the same as any other one. He woke up, washed up, and went to the kitchen to make his morning coffee whilst chatting with you.
He had a timer on his phone to specifically announce when he should get to his office to start streaming. But even after it struck and he had arrived to turn on his computer, he didn’t gain any of the energy he normally had every other day.
Moving his mouse felt like a drag, let alone actually focusing on the upcoming game.
And the topic that the chat had taken up once people had gathered didn’t exactly help either; people mostly started comparing their morning routines after their previously relaxed greetings spiralled.
‘Yo whats ur morning routine?’
“Guys, this is gonna be hard to believe, but my morning routine isn’t crazy. It’s ten minutes long.”
He tapped his index finger on the mousepad as he read a few responses from the chatters.
This drab talk about morning routines was definitely not on his list of ‘entertaining things to talk about’, and it only further exhausted him.
“Yeah, no, I’m only playing a couple games today. No idea why I’m so tired, though.”
‘only single people have 10 min morning routines’
‘facts’
A few other people were also quick to agree with this sentiment; all except for the obvious, Jollz, and he couldn’t help but laugh at this exchange with a particularly prideful smile.
He sat back and smugly checked out his nails as he spoke,
“Trueee. Single people have way too much time on their hands. Glad I'm not one of them.”
He knew exactly what he was doing with these words.
And almost as if it were on cue, his smile only widened to a grin once he saw the stream of oncoming messages the moment he stopped talking. And he didn’t really need to read anything to know that they were demanding an explanation for such a bold statement.
Now this was the excitement he was used to, he mused.
“‘What do you mean by that?’ I’m just saying what we’re all thinking here.”
‘Jollz youre speaking in code’
“Speaking in code? That’s wild...”
The door behind him swung open, and a set of gentle knocks that accompanied them interrupted the entertainment he was deriving from the catastrophe.
Luckily, by the sound of the steps he heard earlier, Jollz already knew it was you before he turned around to meet your gaze.
“Hey, babe, are you…”
He stopped once he noticed the full cup of coffee in your hands, and the lack of steam from the drink was enough to tell him what you didn’t need to say.
Jollz had forgotten the coffee he made in the kitchen this morning.
Again.
Which also explained why he was so bloody tired, but that’s by the by.
“Wait, hold on, listen–”
“This is the third time this week.”
Jollz sat up with a guilty smile as you approached with his cup, and he couldn’t help but scramble for reasons to defend himself.
“Fair point, but…”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I can’t help you if a fly ever happens to drown in this.”
Of course you’d say that, he thought.
The mere thought of a fly grossed you out, let alone digging one’s corpse out of a drink.
“Yeah, so, in all fairness, I actually had something scheduled.”
“Today?”
You stopped at his desk and set down the cup in an empty spot on his desk, but there were a multitude of tabs open on one monitor and Valorant proudly displayed on the other. They all seemed to be calling for your attention.
You were only vaguely familiar with most of the software that he had open; however, it wasn’t exactly hard to isolate the chat amongst everything.
It rapidly moved with messages you couldn’t read from this distance. But the worst part was that you could see your own reflection on the webcam as you stood behind him.
Uh oh.
Your attire, being a casual nightgown, did not meet the standards expected of someone standing in front of a bloody audience.
Well, not your standards, anyway.
A tinge of red painted your cheeks once you’d finally put two-and-two together.
“You didn’t tell me you were streaming today. Am I interrupting?”
“Oh yeah, totally. It was intense before you came in. VCT-level gameplay.”
You lightly laughed once he pointed to the timer whilst it searched for a game before pulling him close and planting a kiss on his cheek.
“I’ll let you handle it. Best of luck, dear.”
Cheeky, you mused to yourself as you walked out of the room.
But being the guy who always resorted to knifing everyone whenever he could, it made sense for him to be just that.
“Thanks babe.” He took a sip shortly after, grimacing at the temperature before he set it down. “Ice cold coffee, my favourite.”
That one sip seemed to work in rejuvenating him, however, and he was definitely grateful for that.
Only now did he actually take notice of what the flood of messages were actually saying. And once they came down from their shock, they inferred exactly what was going on.
‘dear 🥺’
‘Girlfriend’
‘ya thats his gf alright’
Quick on his feet, he prepared another statement sure to stir the pot that was his viewers’ confusion.
“Why’s ‘girlfriend’ your first guess? She could be my friend’s mom, for all you know, and they’re just visiting today.”
‘That’s not stopping you jollz 💀💀💀’
‘YOU CALLED HER BABE’
They shortly spammed the words ‘babe’ and ‘thanks babe’ to subtly remind him of how he referred to you earlier.
To put it kindly, this statement was instantaneously shot down by the chatters. If their words weren’t indicative of that, the emotes they typed out alongside their growing surprise definitely made it clear.
Besides, it wasn’t that hard to tell, considering you were exactly Jollz’s type, down to the mellow tone of your voice.
‘is she actually ur gf tho’
“Bro, don’t act confused. I’ve been wearing my wedding ring the whole time; you should’ve seen it by now.”
His viewers flooded the chat with demands to be shown this mysterious ring he spoke of. And at that, he held up his hand with faux ignorance to reveal the multitude of rings he wore.
Somehow, both this and the ‘clarifying’ statement only further confused the chatters.
Girlfriend, sure, but marriage? They probably would’ve doubted it if they hadn’t seen concrete proof mere minutes ago.
Oh, but it technically should’ve been easy for them to infer his relationship status on account of the one secured around his ring finger. Not that it blended in, or anything.
“It’s right here,” he extended his ring finger, “get it together, chat.”
He teased with a cheeky smile before lifting his cold drink for another sip.
If the coffee wasn’t quick enough to energise him, this conversation surely did.
Joshseki!
Josh’s gaming room was quite a minimalistic one.
Despite having a notable array of colours that pleasantly complemented each other, they were still muted; and the structure of the furniture he’d picked out was delicately balanced between comfortable and presentable.
All of it fit his calm personality to a tee (when he wasn’t playing Valorant), and was also easy on the eyes.
Especially for the viewers.
So during one particularly annoying game, once Josh unknowingly shifted his chair to the right as he spoke to his teammate, an annoying Reyna, one of his viewers’ eyes immediately locked on the hazy pink object that was set on the American sycamore dresser a few feet away.
To say the bright pink item stood out despite the distance and the pixelation would be a massive understatement, and the fact that it sat there with no explanation only increased their curiosity to an exponential degree.
The only viewer who actually noticed this decided to type out his question,
‘josh whats that behind u’
Unfortunately for them, however, he didn’t catch the question amongst the onslaught of similar messages that were flooding the chat referencing the toxic duellist he was currently dealing with.
The game had been going on for nearly two hours, and the twentieth round promptly ended in a loss.
Once they respawned and the overtime pop-up box appeared, everyone except for him immediately voted for the game to continue. Only one vote was required for it to end in a draw.
He sat back with a sigh and took off his headphones so as to not listen to the demands of his teammates.
This seemingly simple move, however, covered up the pink object behind him.
“What did I tell you, chat? This is what happens when I’m not the instalock. I’m drawing; I don’t care.”
‘WHATS THAT BEHIND U\’
The moment Josh looked towards the chat for a response, they quickly snatched up the opportunity and asked, but their message was drowned out by a union of agreement on their side.
“‘Draw?’ Let’s go. See, I knew you guys would come around.”
And with that, the game ended. He luckily couldn’t hear anything his teammates were saying since his headphones were off.
He shortly grabbed them once they were all disconnected and went to put them on. An off-screen voice came up from the other side of the room before he could, asking a question muffled to the chat.
“Yeah, I closed the door.”
He responded, and the chat was overwhelmed with ‘who?’ and variations of the simple question.
The voice increased in volume once more, presumably in response to his statement, and he looked back with a wide grin.
“When’d he get here? Chat, wait, I have to take care of Nogu.”
Josh stood up and walked out of the camera’s frame, revealing both the pink object and a baby pink dress splayed out on the couch.
If that object and the mysterious voice didn’t cause enough of a fuss, this one absolutely did, and the chat erupted with even more questions despite him not being present.
He grabbed the cat from the other side of the room and left so he could put her outside. And by the time he came back, it had been discovered that the mysterious pink object was lipstick, further increasing their suspicions that there was another person in the room.
And to say Josh came back to chaos would be a gross understatement.
He was bombarded with questions the moment he sat down and put his headphones back on. But after about a minute of staring blankly and attempting to decipher them, he managed to catch a repetitive question asked over and over.
“‘Is the dress a gift?’ Chat, not every gift should be a Valorant skin. But no, it’s not.”
He seemingly mistook their intention behind the question as he queued into another game, much to their frustration, and they responded the only sensible way before he’d move on from the topic.
‘WHY IS THERE A DRESS’
“It’s for my girlf–”
“Josh, he’s still ruining my game!”
The same voice spoke loudly from behind him once more. This time, however, it was audible enough and allowed the chat to finally comprehend what was being said.
But before any more investigation could occur, a mysterious woman, you, popped up into the frame with the same rascal of a cat that spent the past twenty minutes sleeping on your keyboard and ruining your own game.
“You watched me close the door this time!”
“Yeah! He probably snuck through the opening.”
It sounded plausible enough, what with how flexible the feline was and the considerably large opening just beneath the white door.
You set him outside the corridor as Josh followed your movements, pushing Nogu away until he was at a safe distance before slamming the door shut.
Then, you walked away, noticing a few seconds later what all of the confusion was about.
“Hi chat! That’s my dress.”
You pointed at the now-obscured lace dress before disappearing and going back to your setup.
Once he turned his chair to face the monitor, he noticed the chaos that ensued in the chat, especially the flow of messages that were too quick for him to keep up with.
“You guys heard that? It’s her dress.”
The announcer’s voice immediately interrupted his words, and he was launched into the game.
But the chat mulled over the design of the dress as Josh aimed to pick Reyna the moment he was allowed to. Despite only seeing it for a few seconds, they noted its formality…
Definitely a date night, huh?
#valorant#valorant x reader#valorant x f reader#what do i even tag this haha omg#valorant jollz#valorant joshseki#twitch streamer#jollz#joshseki#valorant fanfiction#valorant oneshots
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A Chance
Talos x she/her 3rd pov character
tags: fluff, a bit of angst, lots of Soren
This can actually be considered as my first ever [published] finished fic so bear with me, I needed to get this ‘idea’ out of my head. It is not anything special but I am proud of it because I managed to finish it. The beginning is a bit rusty I know!!! If you find any mistakes please let me know.
Let’s hope this finds the right 'talos deserved better' audience
As a renowned field agent, she was sent by her superior to check on the situation in Ixtenco, Mexico where she was met with Nick Fury, Maria Hill, and Quentin Beck. It was easy to earn their trust as she worked towards the same goal. Morocco, Italy, Austria, Czechia, and Germany all went well, it was in London where she discovered the true identities of her superior’s superiors. It was an accident, really. One minute she was sitting in the backseat, tired after long weeks full of traveling, and the next, she was looking at her friends, as she would call them later on, transforming into some … green aliens?
‘’No! Talos, wait,’’ but it was too late, for Maria Hill had already become Soren and Nick Fury could not register Soren’s voice sooner and already transformed into Talos. She was flabbergasted, eyes wide and mouth open.
‘’Well, too late darling,’’ said the one on the left, turning back to her with a smirk, ‘’to be honest, I completely forgot we had you back there, weren’t you sleeping?’’
‘’Talos, this is not funny! You should call Fury now! She can compromise us.’’
‘’No, wait!’’ Said she with her hands in front of her, ‘’I won’t compromise you I promise. I admit this is unexpected, but you’re not the first intraterrestial I worked with. I was just a bit startled and holy shit, I honestly thought I was hallucinating.. So umm, who are you?’’ She asked, out of breath, the signs of previous tiredness long gone.
Both green beings looked at each other and sighed, ‘’All in due time, we have to call Fury now and debrief him on this whole Parker situation, I don’t have a good feeling about it.’’ Said the one on the right, sharpy looking the other one in the eyes.
‘’It’s totally fine, Soren, I mean-’’ he continued the conversation talking about shapeshifters and she honestly could not decipher what was going on. They called Fury, explained, and he disconnected the call before they could mention that she now knows of their true identities.
What a way to end a mission, really.
She started to have a completely different view of the world around her after their conversation. They told her everything she needed to know about the Skrulls and their plan to coexist with humans on Earth, all about the Council and Gravik, a man who wanted it all. She became friends with them fast and when the real Maria Hill came around, they both agreed to help the Skrulls to find their new home among humans, a home where they can feel safe and welcomed in their own green skin.
With the Skrull Resistance in full swing, Talos’ mind was in turmoil. G’iah was gone, Fury was gone and he was slowly losing Soren as well. He felt like she blamed him for G’iah’s defection, which she didn’t. Soren later told her that she did blame him at the start, as he was a general, their beloved general, so he should have done more for their daughter to remain on their side, but the frustration slowly turned to sadness and at the end, she blamed herself. She tried to talk her out of that feeling, but she was not a parent so she couldn’t fully grasp the feeling of helplessness when your child runs away from home. So the only thing she could do to soothe Soren was to hug her. And she hugged her tight every time she saw sadness in Soren’s eyes. This developed an even stronger bond between them and soon they were inseparable.
‘’I remember I read somewhere about the Skrull polygamy and seeing you both so cuddled up together I begin to miss the good ol’ days of our species.’’ Out of sudden, Talos walked into the room and started to talk nonsense, which gained him a glare from both women.
‘’Darling, you were not even born yet when it was practiced, how can you miss it? And if you were actually interested in why we’re so ‘cuddled up’ together, have you not noticed the unexpected snowstorm outside, hm? The temperature has dropped massively and we don’t have any blanket I could offer her,’’ Soren stated as a matter of fact, even though having blankets would be useless for them, ‘’look at her, she’s shivering!’’
Talos stayed quiet for a while, just staring out of the window as if he just noticed the snow outside, even though his jacket was dripping wet from it. ‘’I guess we could acquire a blanket a two.’’
___
‘’I am sorry, I did not realize we got a new roommate in this tiny flat. Care to tell me when did you decide to move in permanently?’’ Talos was not impressed to see her standing in the center of the living room, smiling brightly at the carpet that resembled unicorn puke. ‘’You could’ve left your failed designer-wannabe persona behind, I wouldn’t be mad.’’
‘’Uh, actually it was last week while you were away. Soren told me it was okay,’’ she told him with a smirk, ‘’she also told me you would hate this carpet and would want to burn it. So I bought it.’’ He looked much more harmless in his human form so she felt more at ease when bantering with him, and he was aware of it.
‘’Of course she would say that, why would she even ask her husband. Welcome,’’ he spread his arms and turned on the spot as if he were a real estate agent who had just sold his first apartment. ‘’The carpet IS horrendous and it needs to go. It looks completely out of place and you know what, I’m too tired for this because if you like it, Soren likes it and that means I have to like it too,’’ he sighed in defeat, ‘’can you at least put it more in the corner so I don’t have to see it as soon as I walk into the flat.’’
He couldn’t say no to them.
He could not say no to them even when they both demanded to go on a mission to take down Gravik once and for all. He received a word from one of his men that Gravik would go recruit an independent Skrull settlement. If Gravik took G’iah with him, Soren saw this as a chance to persuade her to come back with them. So they went.
And when the bullets began to fly, one hitting her leg and the other Soren’s stomach, he knew he should’ve said no this one time. G’iah wasn’t even there…
She managed to physically recover fairly quickly, but mentally she was at the bottom. She blamed herself for Soren’s death. She was supposed to protect her, from grief, sadness and all the pain. She failed and she couldn’t even look Talos in the eyes, not that he was anywhere near her. He disappeared as soon as she started to recover.
The flat felt hollow and cold, no trace of the fun and happiness they shared there. The carpet made her sick.
Her efforts to help Skrulls find a new home continued, with the help of the real Maria Hill, they began to gather all possible intel about the radical groups led by Gravik and hijack their plans as secretly as they could manage. Any contact they tried to establish with Fury failed. So they waited.
He found her some months later. He wasn’t actually sure if he would find her in their old flat, a part of him hoped she sold it and moved on but another part wished he would find her there. A small piece of the piece of his life in which he was happy. While walking up the stair, he felt guilty. He needed to leave after Soren’s death but he should not have left her there, alone. He loved her, but not like he loved Soren. The love he has for her is never gonna replace or overpower the love he has for his wife, his beloved wife. Soren once told him, in the secrecy of their bedroom, how connected she felt with her, as if both ends of the red string of fate finally met. Talos believed her, because he felt the same, only he was not yet ready to admit it to himself. She completed them, made them appreciate and love each other even more and now that Soren’s gone, they were incomplete, lost souls searching for the one that made them whole.
So as he finally walked up the stairs, opened the door, and saw the ludicrous carpet rolled in the corner and her, sleeping on the couch, that was way too big for their flat, he felt it. A chance. A chance that maybe they could find solace in each other, and let the rest unravel itself. He realized he needed her in his life, he became too used to her presence and he knows that Soren would most probably whip his ass for leaving her to grief alone. As he watches her peaceful, unaware, and deeply asleep form, he makes a promise to never leave her again. A promise to Soren, himself, and to Her.
#secret invasion#talos#talos x reader#mcu#is it even x reader if its in the third pov#talos our bi leader#talos is alive he is hiding inside one of fury's tombstones#marvel#this is like my first child don't be mean to it ok
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Team Canada
Raptors/rockets (couldn’t choose one 😭)
Dillion Brooks sympathizer (affectionately)
When I saw this in my inbox, I laughed, because I knew the last part was coming for me one day. 😂💖
But before Brooks takes over this ask, I’m real glad that my Team Canada posts have become a defining factor of my account! I never meant to post this much about Canadian basketball but I actually really enjoy it. And it’s definitely both Raptors/Rockets over here. 🇨🇦
And then the last part…listen, I have to explain myself. 🤣 I know I’ve been flinging Dillon Brooks’ name into Tumblr uncensored 😭. This is good timing to talk about all this because the Olympics are coming up too (and he's gonna be doing stuff, I know).
I’ll split this into a short answer and a longer one under the cut. 😭😭
Short Answer: I don’t necessarily sympathize with him all of the time — he has done CRIMES after all — but I am perpetually amused by his existence. I’m usually looking at him like, “why are you like this?” 🤨🤔 I like him AND hate him at the same time for various reasons, like sometimes he is The Best and other times he is The Worst.
I do know that when I decided to talk about him on here, it was scary at first because he is so hated (for valid reasons). But I was like, I can’t NOT talk about how amusing he is to me! I also find it immensely funny that my posts on him always end up framing him as "some guy on the team". 😃
I will say though if you hate him, DO NOT let me or my posts stop you. He is a villainous menace. If you don’t want to see him, mute my dbrooks tag!
P.S. If you know Molly Morrison on Twitter/Tumblr, just know I highly relate to what she’s said about Dillon Brooks over the years. 😭😭
Longer Answer (aka the backstory lore of WHY):
When I restarted my Tumblr account, I met Tumblr user siakam. One of the topics we discussed was the cursed idea of a Fred VanVleet and DB fanfic, because we thought they could be enemies thanks to their conflicting personalities. I was intrigued, but I didn’t know anything about Brooks’ personality. Sadly I do love researching things... 😭😭
This research collided with the NBA season/me getting into Rockets basketball/me catching up on FIBA content…so by accident, Brooks was everywhere. 😩 Houston had a honeymoon period with him and he took over the Team Canada run (and stole the hearts of the announcers and the photographers and the reporters and the crowd) so because of that, most of Canada now ADORES him.
(Do you realize how many Canadian compliments I have to read about this beloved Canadian menace. NO YOU DON’T. 😭💖)
Most of what I read about his personality, which was buried underneath all the media reports of his menacing, was just…normal and wholesome? At least I understand now why the Grizzlies sideline reporter always called him her favourite player, and why all his Grizzlies/Team Canada teammates/coaching staff love him so much.
That being said, I don’t always agree with his actions though. He chose to do things to teams/star players and he should take the consequences for those actions.
Yes, I do love trash talking, yes, I do enjoy taunting (one of my favourite trash talking quotes is from Donovan Mitchell actually). He did a lot of things to GSW that went too far for me at times. I feel like the intense wave of hatred from last summer was good for him because it brought him down to earth (his ego is still sky high though). He’s been a bit better on the Rockets, more willing to admit his mistakes. But still. Sometimes he doesn’t play basketball and it pisses me off. 🤬
Anyway, apologies for the long paragraphs, but I did have more to say and I couldn’t squish it into something brief. 💔 If you did read all of this, I hope you enjoyed the extra xariarte lore! 💖
#despite the research I still don’t know why he is Like That#I admit it...I DO have a soft spot for Mr. Beloved Canadian Menace (with limits of course) 😂#i was inspired by the canada bball twitter account#they kept posting photos of him like he was just some guy on the team !! and technically he kind of is. 😌#thanks for the ask!! i enjoyed answering this one despite its long length 💖🇨🇦#ask#p.s. if anyone has more questions about this then feel free to ask lol
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More Than Five Minutes | Simon Ghost Riley x trans!m!reader
anonymous asked: The second one I had was for simon riley x pakistani!ftm reader with these two prompts (I don't have a specific idea for this one though, I'm sorry 😭) “How are you gonna explain to high command that we spent an hour in the cloakroom having a snog?” and "This is supposed to be a self defense lesson, not an excuse to flirt"
Again if you don't feel comfortable doing it then its cool, I hope you are having a good day/night.
-🦝
summary: for once in what’s seemed like far too long, you and Ghost actually get more than five minutes together.
tws: swearing
As the only one in the Pakistan Air Force who wasn't doing anything, you had been sent off to help task force one four one with their training and their sparring for the day, as Price had asked for a hand and your commanding officer was more than happy to send you on your way; they weren't that far, only a ten minute trek down the road, and you were tolerant of helping them. Besides, it gave you an excuse to see Ghost for more than five minutes; you knew he would be looking forward to it, too, as it wasn't often that you both got time together. For all the years you had been with him, and all the things you had gone through together, you hardly ever got real quality time; but you knew that he cared, and that was enough for you.
You loved Ghost, you really did, as he was the best husband you had ever had; sure, he was far from perfect, but he was good to you, and he loved you. If he ever fucked up, he always tried to make up for it one way or another; even when you came out to him as trans, worrying that he would leave you, he didn't say a damn thing. He just gave you a list of all the things he wanted you to go through so that he wouldn't fuck up - and if anyone ever said anything against you, Ghost had always been there to make sure that not only did they apologise, but that they would never so much as look at you the wrong way again. He was good, imperfect by all means, but good.
Even though your religion didn't require you to do so after your nikkah, you still took Ghost's last name; you wanted it to be known that you would always be together, not just when it came to Allah, but when it came to everyone else in the world, too. He also had a copy of his identification tags made just for you, so that when he left and when he was off on missions, you could wear his tags around your neck, keep him close. You did the same. You got him a copy of your own tags, and he wore them every day since, knowing that if he left, there was still a piece of you with him. You would always be together, even when halfway across the globe, even when he was on the ground and you were up in the air, you were always together.
So it was only natural that, the very second you saw him, you bolted over, tackling him to the ground as you buried your head against his chest and whimpered his name so softly; Ghost stayed still for a moment, not expecting the sudden contact, but he soon welcomed it as he put his arm around you gently and patted your back softly, too aware of his own strength and never, not even by accident, wanting to cause you even the slightest bit of discomfort. You stayed like that for a while, a tender embrace, until he dared to finally speak up.
“This is supposed to be a self defence lesson, not an excuse to flirt with your husband.”
“Oh, fuck off,” you chuckled, gently patting his chest as you pulled away. “Am I not allowed to be fucking glad to see you?”
“No,” Ghost said, although the slight jovial tone in his voice gave him away. Beneath the mask, he wasn’t just smiling, he was grinning. “Flight Lieutenant Riley, you should be more focused.”
“I could say the same about you, Lieutenant Riley,” you bit back, licking your lips as you cleared your throat. “C’mon, show me around before we start - feels like I haven’t been here in ages.”
Ghost was happy to do so, showing you all the bits and pieces as he jogged your memory by reminding you of when and where you ‘blessed’ certain areas and objects when you were kissing him; you could remember most of it, but when you got to the cloakroom, and he reminded you of the time that you were both just returning home from a fucking exhausting mission, he had pulled you into the very same cloakroom, and had kissed you until you were breathless… only for you to then fall asleep in there together. Ghost could remember it well, as it had not been long after your nikkah, and he had been warned by Laswell that if he did not treat you like a King, then both she and her wife would be on his doorstep with cricket bats; he kept that in mind, constantly. He couldn’t say that he was shocked that you had forgotten, though - he could still picture how fucking tired you were that day and how it had killed him to keep you awake for just a little while longer so that he could revel in the fact that both of you had gotten out alive.
“C’mere,” he grumbled, tugging you into the cloakroom and closing the door tightly, even daring to lock it as he pushed his mask up just enough to expose his mouth. His lips were curled into a smile as he reached for the lightswitch, and turned the light on. “Still don’t remember?”
You shook your head, pursing your lips slightly as you did your best. “Maybe give me a bit of a reminder.”
Ghost wasn’t one to say no to such a thing, pulling you close as he leaned in and gently kissed you; he was always so soft, so gentle, when it came to kissing, as if he worried that he would accidentally make your lip bleed, or maybe even bite your tongue and cause you to yelp. But it wasn’t just that, after all the years he had been hiding behind a mask, acting like the big gruff tough guy, he was so fucking relieved that he had found someone he could actually show vulnerability to, someone he could trust and not have to think twice about it. He started to back you up against the wall, wanting to deepen the kiss but not without asking - only when he pulled away ,you grinned, and gently tapped his chin.
“I remember now,” you chuckled. “Didn’t I ask you: how are you gonna explain to high command that we spent an hour in the cloakroom having a snog?”
Ghost nodded, his lips curling into a smile. “That would be it.”
“Fuck,” you shook your head as you dared to laugh again. “How’d I forget that?”
“You was tired,” he pointed out. “Both were - we ended up falling asleep in here.”
“Not this time we won’t,” you promised, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and pulling him closer. “We won’t have long, y’know.”
“We won’t need long,” Ghost murmured, starting to pepper your neck with kisses. “I just wanna give you all the kisses I’ve saved up.”
“Now’s your chance, big boy,” you teased. “I’m all yours for the whole day… well, until you lot have finished training and all that shit.”
if you liked this fic, REBLOG IT - you SHOULD reblog it; if you don’t wanna reblog, then you’ll get blocked; reblogging is the BARE MINIMUM.
#mlem writes#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley x y/n#simon ghost riley fanfic#simon ghost riley imagine#simon ghost riley#ghost riley x reader#ghost riley x you#ghost riley x y/n#ghost riley fanfic#ghost riley imagine#ghost riley#ghost cod#cod ghost#call of duty ghost#ghost call of duty#cod x reader#cod x you#cod x y/n#cod imagine#cod fic#cod fanfiction#cod fanfic#cod mw2 x reader#cod mw2 imagine#cod mw2 fanfic#cod mw2 fic#cod mw2#cod modern warfare 2
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𝓣𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐟
Chapter 01 of The five stages of grief
Wanda maximoff x fem!reader
Tags / Warnings : no smut, death, major character death
Word count : 2k
Summary : When you die you learn that grief is not only for the living and that there is a certain stage to go through before you really pass to the other side. A fiction based on the 5 stages of grief, a chapter will correspond to a stage. There will be 6 chapters, the first one is reserved for the introduction of this fiction
Tuesday, May 23 - 9:37 a.m.: The machine made a dull noise announcing that no heart was beating in your chest, the doctors had done everything to save you but your heart never wanted to start again in spite of all the electroshock and epinephrine passed through the infusions in your arms. Wanda was quickly pulled aside by the doctors and when one of them approached her to tell her she collapsed to the floor knowing what was about to be told to her.
Wanda had been your girlfriend for 8 years now, you had gotten together when you were in high school and everyone knew that your love would last because you had loved each other since you were children. You were there for her in each of her bereavements, when she lost her parents, when Pietro had his car accident, when she lost her best friend's vision; you saw her destroy herself little by little doing everything you could to keep her afloat while she grieved. Then she returned the favor when you lost your friend, Natasha was killed in a shooting and she was the only victim, and as you worked through your grief you kept hearing people and newspapers say that it could have been worse and that one victim was a miracle. However, for you it was anything but a miracle, your world had lost its flavor and even Wanda could not help you anymore. You felt like you had lost the biggest part of yourself.
When you died you felt your spirit separate from your body seeing everything that was happening around you. When you heard the doctors pronounce your death you tried to scream at them that you were not dead, that you were still there but nothing helped, nobody heard you, nobody saw you.
You followed the doctor trying to grab they but your hand wouldn't hold on to their shoulder, nothing helped, you had to give up. You were dead... even if you didn't know why it was happening this way you understood. The worst part was not the realization of your death but the reaction of Wanda collapsing to her knees on the hospital floor begging to be told that it wasn't true even though you were only a few feet away.
Your tears rolled down your cheeks as you watched Wanda be escorted into the room where your body lay to say goodbye one last time. You had been admitted to the hospital for a simple pain in your chest, Wanda had insisted that you go see a doctor but you always refused until the pain became too much and you could not take it anymore. You had been hospitalized 5 days ago, the doctors had found a mass that was moving rapidly towards your heart, they had to make you undergo a whole battery of tests to see if they could remove this mass other than by the operation which was much too risky according to them.
None of the tests had come back negative and finally they had scheduled this surgery for Tuesday, May 23rd at 11:30 am but you didn't survive until that time... The redhead put a hand on your cheek like she used to do when you needed reassurance, one of her tears flowed down your face but you could not feel anything.
You felt a hand on your shoulder and when you turned around you saw Natasha, you didn't really understand what was happening but you jumped into her arms crying loudly on her shoulder.
"Tasha, what are you doing here?" you finally asked as time around you seemed to stand still
"I need to explain to you what's going to happen from now on," she whispered in a voice that was almost broken by having to say the words
"So this is real? I'm really... dead?"
"I'm sorry y/n..."
"I don't understand, if I'm dead, why do I see you, but why do I also see wands...?"
"You are between the world of life and the world of death... otherwise known as "the world of grief" it is a transitional place between the two worlds"
"What does this mean?"
"I promise to explain but you have to understand that these are just the basics of this world, there are differences for each of the people who are here"
"I'm not sure I understand Tasha..."
"This world is reserved for the dead, when a person dies they come here immediately; that person will have to stay here until every person they knew has reached the final stage of grief"
"What are you talking about?"
"Grief is made up of 5 stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance; each person goes through their stages more or less easily, and as long as one of the people is still in one of these stages the deceased person concerned cannot join the world of the dead, that of eternal rest or something like that"
"I know those stages I've been there, you know...when I lost you after the shooting"
"I know y/n I was there the whole time, I never stopped looking out for you"
"I can't believe that all this really exists... is there anything else I need to know?"
"I can't give you all the information like this, you'll have to find out some things on your own and more information will come later"
"Are there other people here? I mean where are her parents, Pietro or even Vision? Wanda never managed to forget them".
"No there isn't, you know there's a difference between grieving and forgetting, Wanda managed to move on and see a positive future even if those people weren't part of it anymore that's what grieving is"
"How do I know that she will have grieved me? I mean there's no test like an exam so how are we supposed to know?"
"You'll just know, and when it's done you can normally join the other world"
"Why normally?"
"There is a second condition you have to meet to get there, you have to be able to mourn yourself"
"What? I don't understand" you said surprised at this second condition not even understanding what it could refer to
"You have to succeed in being at peace with the fact that you are dead, this is what we call the mourning of oneself, you are going to go through the same stages as for the mourning of a third person but for yourself, it is a rather complicated stage..."
"This stage is ridiculous I'm dead that's all there is to it"
"I know it's hard y/n but you're going to have to get there, it's not as simple as that; you're going to have to understand that as long as you're here you can still see Wanda, once you're on the other side it will all disappear..."
"But that's not fair! I'm sure none of this is real. I just landed in hell" you said trying to understand how it could really exist.
Natasha pulled you into her arms as you let yourself fall into her comforting embrace.
"Why does everything around Wanda seem to stand still?" you asked as you looked around.
"Time passes differently here, as if a game is paused in order to recite the rules; the rest of the time everything will unfold"
"This is more proof that none of this is real! You can't create fucking time gaps and pause everyone for a moment".
"It's more complicated than that, when the "world is paused" a millisecond on their side can correspond to several hours here; then when time resumes its normal course it's the same on their side as on ours; I know that all this can seem complicated but you'll get used to it"
Natasha grabbed your arm to take you out of the hospital while you integrated all the information they had just given you. You sat down on the green grass and took a deep breath surprised that you could still feel the sensations you felt just hours ago.
"Why are you still here tasha? I mean...everyone has grieved on the living side not to be mean...did you ever come to terms with your death?
"No I grieved for myself from the moment I landed here, when I heard the shots I felt like I wasn't going to make it, I was ready to die"
"Then why are you still stuck here?" you asked not understanding her presence here
"There is one person who has never been able to grieve or move on without me..."
"Who is it?"
"You y/n..."
"What? No I- I grieved" you immediately shot back
"You never did y/n... you reached the stage of depression but every time you managed to get a little better you would hold on to the stage of denial and anger... grief is not a linear thing and sometimes there are backtracks but you never wanted to move on..."
"..." you remained silent lowering your head to your fingers
"I don't blame you y/n, you felt guilty all these years for what happened to me but nothing was your fault I decided on my own to jump in front of you to take that bullet, it was you or me... I had nothing left to lose unlike you, you were making plans all the time with Wanda, about your studies, your jobs, your future children, your future home, marriage; you had your whole life ahead of you so I chose to save you"
"Maybe I would have been better off if I had finally taken that bullet" you attempted on a humorous note not knowing if this was a good idea
"Maybe so" laughed Natasha in turn, placing her hand on yours; "y/n..."
"Yes tasha?"
"Now that the last person alive who hadn't grieved for me has passed away, I am free to join the other side"
"You're leaving me here? Is that what you're saying?" you whispered with your eyes filling with tears
"Y/n, I've been here so long, I'm exhausted, I can't stay here anymore, I have to go..."
"I'm sorry you had to stay here because of me tasha...I understand you need to go and I'm letting you go..."
"Thank you y/n; I'll always be here if you need me, as much as I'd like to never come back here I will if you need me"
"What if Wanda never grieves...?"
"She will, don't worry she's strong"
"But what if she doesn't?"
"Then you'll have to stay here just like I did until she joins you..."
A bright white portal of light lit up at the end of the driveway dazzling you as Natasha turned to look at it. You looked at it confused not understanding what was going on.
"It's time y/n, I gotta go" she said softly even though you knew she was happy to go to this one
"I understand tasha, may I accompany you to the end?"
"Of course" she grabbed your hand and you both walked to the foot of that huge white circle; "we'll see you soon y/n; take care and go through all the steps you're strong you'll make it just like Wanda"
"Bye tasha" you replied as you saw her disappear on the other side turning around to go back to Wanda's side.
Natasha had crossed to the other side and some people were already waiting for her to arrive.
"Do you think they will be okay?" asked Vision.
"Wanda is strong, she will make it" answered Pietro.
"Y/n is strong too but I'm worried about her and I hope that even if they are separated they will still be able to love each other until they meet again, life has never done them any favors and yet everyone knows that they were made to be together".
The two boys each held onto one of Natasha's arms as the portal closed in front of their eyes, cutting them off from seeing you.
#natasha romanoff x y/n#wanda maximoff x reader#natasha x you#marvel women#black widow#wanda maximoff x y/n#wanda maximoff fanfiction#wanda maximoff x female reader#stages of grief#tw death#reader death#natasha death
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a get to know you better meme
@loquatenjoyer69 tagged me so... why not. 🤷 thanks crow! <3
do you make your bed? not really, i just fix the bed cover if it's all over the place, but other than that, i left it how it is
what's your favourite number? 4? and 9? idk i don't have any superstition about numbers but 4 and 9 just look nice to me hehe
what is your job? the only job i have these days is drawing comm, so... nope i'm unemployed... 🥲
If you could go back to school would you? nah... not really. i like learning new shit, but i don't like following rules
can you parallel park? i am afraid of driving.
a job you had that would surprise people? customer service. i am a pretty volatile person.
do you think aliens are real? kinda? never saw them but this world is weird as it is, aliens just make sense. but i don't think they wanna come to earth tho humanity aren't as interesting as hollywood make us to be
can you drive a manual car? i am afraid of driving, and the only car i know how to drive is auto. even then i am still scared.
what's your guilty pleasure? idk i always feel guilty about anything i like lmao
tattoos? nope. first, because of religious reasons. second, i'm scared of needles.
favourite colour? lately, it's red and black. blue as an accent color is nice too. i always say my favorite colors is the spectrum between red to blue
favourite type of music? i like rock and metal... pop is good but most of them are pretty predictable to me. jazz and orchestral is pretty damn good too but it doesn't inspire me much compared to rock and metal tho
do you like puzzles? played windows solitaire until level 100+ so i think i can say yes to this haha
any phobias? fucking... cockroaches. or any insects really, i can't stand em, if i look at one somehow i can just feel em crawling on my skin... 😖
favourite childhood sport? i like badminton... i miss playing em. also cycling... i love that, but i can still remember getting into too many accidents lol so i try not to like it too much
do you talk to yourself? all the time. sometimes it's two to three voices talking at the same time. and the other voices will code switch from my native tongue to english because ofc my brain just love doing that... for no reason 🙄
what movie(s) do you adore? oh so many of them... Happy Together, Gonin, Sympathy for Lady Vengeance, Mad Max Fury Road, Ghost in The Shell, End of Evangelion and many more but i forgot...
coffee or tea? really love coffee before... but i got hospitalized for one day from drinking too much so nowadays i don't really drink em. not really fond of tea, it taste too... clean to me.
first thing you wanted to be growing up? an artist. look where i am now. lol
tagging @righteousdelusions @b1uetrees @yayee-prsp @rose-colored-sd if you guys wanna do it too
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My BL journey so far
Okay kids gather round, get comfortable. This is a long one.
Disclaimer/background info: I started watching BL about a month ago-ish. I don't remember the exact date but I believe I started last month or maybe the end of the month before. So I am still a bit of a noob and trying to catch up with watching things. I am also a very chaotic person which you will probably find out by the way this is structured/written. Lastly, even though I do study/teach English for a living, it is not my first language.
Okay with that out of the way, let's dive in.
Backstory/introduction
Like any good story I feel like a bit of backstory/intro might be a good idea.
Hi, on the internet I mostly go by the nickname Peach, however I created this blog when I got into BL and have adopted yet another fruit as a new nickname for this side of my personality/identity which is Lychee. I don't really mind which one you use. I'm 24 years old and I am Dutch (the Netherlands). As mentioned in the disclaimer I teach English but I am also still a student, I plan on studying more after this because I love learning new things and especially about languages and cultures. I am part of the LGBTQ+ community myself and mostly identify as Bisexual or Pansexual. I use she/her pronouns.
When I was about... 13-14 ish I rolled into the K-pop fandom. I used to listen to bands like SHINee, Super Junior, EXO, BAP, Infinite, Girls Generation, 2ne1, Block B... I was a real fangirl if you ask me HAHA. In this time I also watched a Kdrama or two here and there. Favorites being: Heartstrings and Shut up flower boy band. (I was never too into Kdrama back then). I also used Tumblr back then, I have a literal 12 year old tumblr account with almost 50K posts that I used during my K-pop times. I stopped using tumblr quite a while ago too but that blog is still there. I would reblog gifs and pics and what not about my biases and ships. But as interests do sometimes, it faded into the background and I fully stopped keeping up and listening to K-pop. It has literally been 10 years now.
But then...
One random afternoon I was bored at home and wanted to watch something new. I randomly realized Kdramas existed and so my journey to find one began. I stumbled upon Semantic Error and almost by accident decided to read the little description and the tags that were with it. My eyebrows furrowed for a minute before I could feel my eyes widen: "WAIT THE TWO BOYS... IT'S... GAY???" I could almost not believe what I saw. Obviously back in my K-pop times every band had ships and pairings you fangirled over, Baekyeol or ChanBaek, 2Min, JongKey... You know what I mean...You fangirled over every random moment they were together but that was as far as that went.
So you could maybe imagine my excitement when I realized that Korea has come far enough to actually make BL shows now. So without further thoughts I watched Semantic Error.
And because it was the first BL I saw I fell in love with it, the story was good, the acting was good, the fluff was to die for. An all round great experience to start off with.
Little did I know...
After this experience I was obviously hungry for more. So, I turned to the internet to tell me where they had been hiding this secret stash of everything I ever wanted in Kdrama... And boy was I surprised with the results. This was the moment I found out that not only Korea but also Japan, Thailand, Taiwan and China made BL shows... And not just 1 or 2... The choices were endless. My journey continued with (either... I kinda forgor...) Don't say no and Love by Chance. This was my first experience with NC scenes too. I had no idea that Thailand already took the step to also go into a little more 18+ when it comes to BL and to be fair... I was kind of excited about it. Now that I have seen more BLs I guess you could argue that neither Don't say no and Love by Chance are the best BLs ever made but at the time I was completely hooked on them.
And so began...
An insane marathon sprint. By this time I wanted more more more and that's what I consumed. I watched some more Kbl, some Japanese BL and some more Thai BL's as well. Until I hit KinnPorsche and that's when I realized how hooked I actually was on this new comfort genre I had just discovered. KinnPorsche allowed me to put the shows I had watched for far into perspective. Most BLs have the university students falling in love drama vibe... KinnPorsche was something completely different and boy did I fall in love, and hard too. This show quite honestly changed a lot of things for me. I went from 'I'm just casually watching these shows' to 'Oh I might be a little obsessed now' and after finishing KP I realized I wanted even more and I could no longer deny that I was becoming a part of the BL fandom.
So where we are now...
In the past month I have spent every free second of my day watching shows. Binging one after the other. I was lucky to have a week off during this time too and I have managed to COMPLETE 32 BLs between then and now. 5 currently watching shows I try and keep up with and a TO WATCH list of 40+ shows. (aka: obsessed much?)
In the meantime I have made a BL twitter and a BL tumblr (this one) to find out more about the BLs I watched or am watching currently, but also to keep up with new ones coming out. I have realized that because of how badly I want to keep up with things I SUCK at remembering names. If the show did not leave a big impression on me I can also easily forget the whole storyline of some. This in addition to people talking about ship names but also IRL ship names using actors real names makes it quite hard to keep up sometimes.
The community...
I also made these accounts in the hopes to interact with the community. This part has been quite a challenge for me. I have never been the most extraverted person (both irl and online) but I am one of those people that is almost desperate to make friends (that sounds a bit sad but hear me out.) I love talking to people (< but you said you're introvert.. I know again, hear me out) but I have absolutely no idea how to behave in order to make friends. I am often too shy to interact with people so I just kind of pull myself back and hope someone reaches out first. As soon as they do there's a good chance I will latch onto them without mercy. I have realized that I am afraid I do not fit in sometimes within this community (mostly on twitter to be honest) I see a lot of very knowledgeable people when it comes to BL shows and I am too afraid to interact.
Here on tumblr and twitter I also (after literally 10 years) realize how talented people are when it comes to making gifs, edits and translations. Something I did not really think much about when I was using Tumblr 10 years ago. I have so much admiration for what people make but at the same time I feel like being a cheerleader from the sidelines by reblogging/retweeting I cannot match up to them too.
Now I am obviously very new to BL and the community and I have actually met some lovely people already. I guess I just want too much too fast haha!
BL as a whole... (Disclaimer: The things I talk about are not just directed at BL alone, the issues I list are VERY MUCH also alive in Hetero shows and I would like to see change there too. But to keep on the topic of BL I list them here with my reasoning)
Realizing how far these countries have come when it comes to even making shows about LGBTQ+ is an awesome thing to see. Like I said before I come from the time where all I could really do is ship two band members together and fangirl over them sitting next to each other basically. I am part of the LGBTQ+ community myself and I live in a country is supposed to be very accepting so it is nice to see the steps different cultures are taking as well. However I do feel we are not there yet in the way they portray things.
Consent (this is obviously not only a BL problem) has been a bit of an issue for me in some shows.
Power dynamics - My main issue show for this one was Cutie Pie (not very sure how to elaborate further)
NC scenes - Still being quite unrealistic sometimes, you really cannot tell me that bottoming is something you do without preparation of any sort.
Only gay for xxx -> Straight but gay for this one man is not exactly how sexuality works. I feel like it might kind of give off the wrong idea as well.
I do see that some of these trends are turning to the right direction (Between Us being a good example for consent for example)
Now I obviously know that these are fictional stories so please don't come for my throat over this. I am just listing a few things I have noticed in my journey.
The shows...
Now I would like to use this last little section here to mention and give my thoughts (positive and negative) about some shows I have seen.
Let's start with the good shall we.
KinnPorsche -> I have mentioned this show before but I would like to do it again. I fell in love with this show, the actors are amazing, the storyline is great, the chemistry between the couples, the diversity in the storyline, the humor, the serious moments... It has so much and the casting they did for this show is a legit 10/10 Apo is such an amazing actor, Mile is his perfect match for the role and don't even get me started on the rest of the cast I would probably pull up an entire powerpoint presentation.
Life-Love on the line -> Is a Japanese BL that I related to quite a lot. The entire story of how two boys fall in love and grow up together, one becoming more serious while the other stays quite 'childlike' hit me right in the feels (I don't want to spoil things) It was such a beautiful story to be fair.
Semantic Error -> My first BL and what a great start to have to be honest. Need I say more?
Bad Buddy -> I loved this one because of the storyline and the awesome chemistry between the characters. It showed an amazing story of how sometimes you need to put your prejudice thoughts aside to find something beautiful.
Blueming -> The way this story unfolds made me fall even deeper in love with Kbls to be honest. The way this was filmed was just so beautiful.
Roommates of Poongduck -> I was a little hesitant in the beginning of this one. The storyline description did not grab my attention and after seeing how KBL is often focused more on the story than on the passionate kisses for instance it took me a moment to get into it. But we have all seen the kissing scene (that they robbed us of to be fair) and the chemistry between the characters had me sobbing while having the biggest grin on my face.
I told sunset about you -> When I got a little deeper into my research the name of this BL kept popping up everywhere and it obviously got me curious. Boy oh boy this was such a beautiful story I cannot even begin to explain. The exploration of sexuality, gender, love and friendship in this one... Ugh ugh ugh.
Not me -> A masterpiece. The themes, the storyline. They touch upon heavy topics while also maintaining an entertaining series. It's so good.
Love in the air -> Okay so, MOST of the shows above have a lot of deeper messages or storylines and love in the air might feel out of place. WRONG. Sky's storyline shows quite a bit of deeper meaning and I think it was done really well. The other part of why I like this show is because of the actors. They really did such an amazing job with this one and I cannot wait to see more of them.
ChocoMilkShake -> (up until last ep) this was my comfort show. I kind of ignored the dark side of them leaving and just focused on all the cute stuff but I just love it. They better give me a happy ending though!
Between Us -> I have seen UWMA and I must say that although the story was very very beautiful and touching and heavy... I did not vibe with the insane drama as much as I would have hoped. I did however enjoy the WinTeam moments quite a bit. And then BOOM Between Us happened and I am having a blast with this one. Consent being a big plus. The storyline is good, there has not been (knock on wood) unnecessary drama (I was afraid this would happen with the overhearing half a conversation thing they were giving us but I am SO happy to see it was done in a mature way). I love it.
And now for some shows I would like to give a tiny piece of my mind. DISCLAIMER: These are opinions you can ignore, I am not shitting on actors whatsoever, this is mostly targeted towards writing/storyline. THE ACTORS DID NOTHING WRONG!! I am okay with people asking questions about it though (: I also do not JUST shit on the shows I talk about here, I point out some things and also say what I DID like about it
Lovely writer -> This show holds a scene that I find THE MOST frustrating one I have seen so far. "Let me explain" -Silence- "I can explain" -Silence- "Wait don't leave" -Silence-.... If you have seen the show you probably know what I'm referring to. This is what I mean with unnecessary drama. Characters being angry at each other for longer than needed or for a reason that does not make sense. The rest of the show was okay. I don't hate the show but it frustrated me more than that I enjoyed it.
Big Dragon -> The first episode had me screaming. The NC scene, the open kink representation on this one made me so excited. It felt like the next step towards representation for kinks within the genre... And then that slowly died off. The scene where Yai is with the girl that (I suppose) normally helps him with his kink and then the bathroom scene where Mangkorn orders Yai around were 10/10 too but then it was gone and we were back to quite the normal BL plotline again which I found very sad. In the later episodes I also missed the chemistry between Yai and Mangkorn. I fucking LOVE MosBank together like... They are legit amazing actors and I would love to see them again in something different. I am just a little disappointed in the storyline progression.
Cutie pie -> The power dynamic in this show was not really my style. The controlling BF type deal was a bit hard to watch at times. and I KNOW that this entire show is about breaking free of that but the fact that there it is needed in the first place and the lying and secrets.. it was all a bit much for me. However the casting was really good. The chemistry between the characters/actors is awesome and everyone played their role really well!
To my star -> NOW BEFORE YOU BEHEAD ME, HEAR ME OUT. I love this show. I actually love this show. It is really good. But there are some small things that made me frustrated sometimes. Talking about feelings is hard and I do get that 110% but it sometimes felt quite frustrating and left me with a little bit of a bad feeling. I really hope that this show teaches people that you can only really move forward by talking about your feelings instead of running away from them.
Together with me -> The controlling, dramatic, witch female role. Now again, hear me out. The show is great! The chemistry is there, the acting is 10/10 the casting is 10/10 but it has an element I would like to discuss that I have seen in multiple BLs as well. Now I get that the girl is mad, right. Her BF literally cheats on her (shame on u) but the entire master plan the girls come up with like... damn girls... That's all I really have to say about it. Not all women become murderous, petty witches.
TharnType -> From homophobic to being almost assaulted into a gay relationship. Again casting 10/10, chemistry 10/10. But I see this storyline quite a bit too in deluded forms. Consent is a BIG issue in this show for me. Then there is the "I am only okay with this gay guy" idea too that just kinda made me pull some faces at my screen at times.
If you have made it this far... I'm so sorry?
As for now, I think I have written enough about my BL journey so far, if you DID actually read this far and have any questions about it, feel free to ask. I am willing to discuss anything and everything as long as we respect each others views (:
This post is also an invitation to whoever wants to connect. I really do love making friends and my DMs (here and on twitter or if you want to connect on a different platform let me know) are always open. You can literally go in there without context and go: GIIIIRL LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT... and I will reply as if we've been besties for years I really do not mind skipping the awkward first stages of interaction.
My DMs (+replies) are also open for:
Show recs (dm me your fav show and a little description on why it's your fav show and why I should love it too!)
Questions regarding this post or me personally
FanFic recs (If you have written something pls show it to me I love to read!
Seeing my watched list, currently watching list or to watch list for the curious cats (:
(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Thank you so much for reading and for now I cannot wait to see what the BL community has in store for me ♥
#I cannot believe what I have created#I am so sorry if you actually read this#THIS IS A VERY PERSONAL POST AND IT IS VERY LONG I AM SORRY#Thai bl#KinnPorsche#Kbl#Korean BL#Between us#life-love on the line#choco milk shake#thai bl series#thai bl drama#korean bl#thai bl#kbl#bl series#bl drama#Big dragon#bad buddy#not me series#love in the air#Semantic error#blueming
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Alright another Q&A since I keep getting DMs on here about it. Though almost forgot the password to this blog as I only log into it on my phone but typically always switching the account on the phone between the two mains and my code/theme maker blog.
IS THAT STEWIE PERSON PRETENDING TO BE A DECEASED PERSON??
Yep, they are. Didn’t really learn about it til a few days ago. Apparently the person running that blog who is the same person running both the ‘accountability’ blog and that drama rpt blog is pretending to be someone I used to know, was friends with, and spoke to on a daily basis who is no longer with us. Won’t go into details but eight years ago there was a car accident and they are gone. This crazy person is apparently so obsessed with me that they are going that far. The reason for it being that she finally had to admit that I SHOCKER have friends and people that support and help me out. That the majority of people that interact with me happy we are friends. So naturally, pretend to be someone I knew going postal on me is the next ‘logical’ step. Of course the fact she is pretending to be the age that person was 10 years ago and not knowing she is gone were things this sick psychopath didn’t uncover.
Didn’t know of the blog til a week ago or something. Some messaged me about it, saw their intro post and that they apparently were tagging me and another blog in a bunch of rants. Just laughed, shared it, then blocked. Forgot all about them til I got an email that they wanted to share my hollow grove Google doc on one of the accounts I publicly revealed and changed the name to the guy these stalkers fell into the trap of thinking I am. It’s nice to know the traps are working but wait, I have to change the name now. I have a few minutes to kill for a bit of fun with this stalker. It will get boring though, you can only have someone fall into the same trap and show they are stalking ‘your’ ‘real life info’ so many times before you have enough for an RO and to make tumblr get off their lazy asses.
WHY DO THESE PEOPLE HAVE A HATE BONER FOR YOU??
I’ve summed it down to three things. Jealousy, ego, and victim points. They really are the only things that make sense. Some where some how, someone noticed my success. Be it how well I code, how many people interact with and love to plot with me, something. Maybe I even just slightly annoyed them at some point. Anyway, they let eventually get insanely jealous of me and they all go stalker. My motto has always been to ignore anyone I don’t get along with. I can exist in the same space as someone I don’t like, or even hate, and even those that I just find annoying. It’s just as easy as ignoring and blocking them.
That’s where the ego part comes in. Because I don’t just disappear and 99% of people I interact with have nothing but good things to say about me they can’t stand it. They have to be right and get rid of me or at the very least tarnish me in the eyes of others. There is no actual proof of anything, no records, and no one that can back up anything. So the victim points comes into play. Tumblr is a haven for ‘I’m a victim of the universe and my life being crappy isn’t my fault’ types of people. Instead of improving their lives they rather bitch and complain and blame it on others online. So naturally minor annoyances turn into Shakespearean dramas and stories can be made up without a shred of proof but you’re an ‘ist’ this or ‘phobe’ that questioning this lack of proof.
IS IT ALRIGHT IF I ASK YOU TO GET MY INFO OUT?
Haha I’ve done it a couple times for two different people. Only the most recent time is known to these people since like always, they don’t dig into anything that doesn’t suit their narrative. I suppose I can but even I can change my ‘personal info’ to be so many different people and only if you’re sure you don’t mind these people digging into your real life business as that’s what will happen if I’m the one using your info.
Admittedly, it has been great keeping my own stuff private and away from these people. A little annoying I had to move all my personal things to new accounts but what was an hour of work compared to helping out people that need it?
YOU’RE NOT AT ALL WORRIED ABOUT THESE PEOPLE??
Of course not, they’re my fans. It is obsessive and unhealthy but it’s how they want to fulfill their life and make themselves happy. Although I will admit even as a bisexual person who’s engaged to a man. Having a collective of women always thinking about me, talking about me, and obsessing over me is a bit of a confidence and ego boost. I’m more than happy to be that ray of light and hope in their lives. If they want to hate me to avoid hating themselves then have at it. Eventually you’re going to have to look in the mirror and face the fact you’re the problem with your life not some Internet stranger. I’m apparently already like 6 other people so just heap on a lot of other names to mine.
But in the end I simply don’t have the time, effort, or desire to even care about it. The only ‘evidence’ that exists on my happened 10 years ago and 95% of the drama people involved have actually stated was made up, connected me to only because they had a one sided fight with me or they blew up from something minor to get rid of me. I’ve had multiple successful groups of my own and been on others. I run two groups right now, I run classes over discord for people, I have a job, and an engagement to occupy my time along with hanging out with friends. My life is good and I have too much fun on and offline to care about what some lonely, sad, unfulfilled and bitter 40 something are doing.
My process with these people is simple. Someone tells me there is a new hater blog. I think ‘oh another fan, this should be fun’ glance at it really quickly and debate if it’ll piss then off more if I block them or don’t. On one hand they assume if I blocked them I read everything they posted and get their jollies. On the other, one of the only two types of notifications I get reblogs or messages (yes there is an option that turns off tumblr notifying you when you’re tagged) are still open to them. Then I either block and close the window or just close the window and go on with my life. A couple of members have pointed out that the blog pretending to be my deceased friend types, talks, and is active at the same time as that stewie blog is so…….. yeah.
Even more so when I can just do what the other people they went after do. Make new accounts and go on as someone else. Hell I can even go by No or Lan and use all the same face claims just slightly different names and they wouldn’t have a clue it was me. That’s kind of what I do on the three groups I’m on right now that aren’t mine that friends asked me to join but use a different name so they could I’m not be touched by that drama as one of these people is in the group.
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Hi Pocket, so a just have a quick small story about how i found your account. It's short i promise.
So you see i was just scrolling on tumblr as normal people do and me having a never ending fnaf phase i was searching some tickle related fanfiction (i know you are not doing fnaf right now but stay with me).
Thats when i found your fanfiction on sun and moon and somthing about a glitch corrupting moon. You know the story. So i then clicked on your account and found a hell lot of fnaf fanfics.
Now something you don't know is that earyler this year i kinda of accidently deleted my old account. I was meant to delete an alt account okay? Anyways so i had been on a mission to find all the fanfics i had liked on my old account because it came to the point where if i wanted to live my life i needed to read tickle fanfics. So when i came across your account it kind of made me happy that it was somthing knew and that it didn't remind me of my account loss. So i kinda read all and i mean all of your fnaf fanfics. That was a great monday for me. Yes i read them all in a day because i am a very fast reader.
Also this next part of information may give away who i am but i really liked the fanfiction of Roxy and her fans and then the fanfiction of Vanny and Glitchtrap. Okay okay on with my point of all this. First of you can call me Light Anon. Yes the word light is in my username so you more than 100% know who i am now buuuuuut ima keep it seceret for a while cos the whole tickle thing is kinda of an embarassing topic for me cos none of my friends know i would like it to stay that way so don't tag my username in this please. Just call me light.
OKAY now the real reason i bothered telling you all of this. Just now when i was about to tell you see story i saw that you put to not ask for fnaf stories. And i thought "oh peck what if they don't respond to my story" because you see as a person who likes fnaf and likes foxs and read your lolbit and mike fanfic i wanted to ask you if i write a fanfiction which would be a part two to your "Oh for fox sake" story if you would respond to my "ask" as i do not even admit to liking tickle things even on tumblr. Okay i'm going to stop talking before this gets longer. Point is it is okay to write you a part two of a lolbit and mike fanfiction? and also you kind of got me out of an acount loss deppression, so thankyou so much. Also when i do write the part two i will use my username sooooo look forward to that i guess.
Light anon out-
Oh my gosh- This message must’ve taken forever to write!! I appreciate the huge message! I happened to see this while I was picking up Chinese food for supper right after work. I’m sitting in the restaurant now, actually…just waiting for my food to finish being made.
As far as your idea of the part 2 of my Lolbit and Mike fanfic…Hold on, I need to get this straight first:
YOU WANT TO WRITE ME A PART 2 FOR THE FANFIC 'OH FOR FOX SAKE'?!
I- That's huge! That's insane!! I am SO HAPPY! YES! By all means, feel free to! My only ask is that you give credit and include a link to the first part in the beginning. Those are the only things. Everything else is ultimately your choice. If you want Lolbit and Mike to be friends, do it! If you want them to be enemies, do it!
And if you complete this, then (if you want me to, that is...) I will make sure to add your fanfic to my masterpost and credit you as the creator of the second part.
Oh my gosh I'M SO EXCITED! THIS IS HUGE!
Thank you so much, Light anon!!
~Pocket/T.S.
P.S: I got my chinese food! Now to eat dinner and get to writing for the evening. :D
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Have You Seen These New Pokémon? Have you SEEN Them?
I'm going to have to start tagging these so I can find them easier. I haven't done a proper HYSTNP since Grafaiai, apparently, and I had to search by the Pokémon's names to confirm. Another one has just been revealed, so let's see all the ones I've missed real quick.
youtube
Maybe I've posted about this one. I know I've talked about it elsewhere. It was revealed in a Japan-only stream of Pokémon scientists or something viewing footage of Pokémon in Paldea. Then they see this thing and are utterly confused and discussing whether or not it's a Paldean Diglett. Nope! It's Wiglett, a Water-type Pokémon that just bears a striking resemblance to Diglett.
I imagine a lot of people think this is a lazy design. I have to wonder how many different faces they went through before giving up and using Diglett's. Or if that was the plan all along. Either way, I feel like this is Game Freak trolling us. It's like one of those Garry's Mod videos where they stretch and distort characters for a joke (and probably can't animate them properly).
youtube
When I saw it first in the video's thumbnail, I thought it was merely Paldean Girafarig. Nope! It's Farigiraf, its new evolution! I don't see how this justifies having a palindrome for a name in and of itself, but okay. I suppose its four horns could be interpreted as legs if it were upside-down?
I feel like someone created this on accident while messing with Girafarig's model and accidentally inverted its back half. The result kinda looks like an astronaut, though I would've given that honor to a Flying type. This Pokémon instead remains Normal/Psychic. I suppose its Cud Chew ability, which allows it to eat the same berry twice, is interesting.
youtube
Might as well discuss the Electric Gym Leader Iono a bit. She's a V-Tuber. Well, in-universe she's a streamer, but to us she might as well be a V-Tuber. I have to wonder if they intend to use her as a V-Tuber going forward. Hopefully not in anything I'd be inclined to watch, because I already find her annoying. I mean, she's a great character and all, but she's a little too high-energy for me.
Also, have you noticed the name puns? If you haven't, you've probably been pronouncing her name wrong. It's "Eye-On-Oh," like "Ion" (an atom or molecule that holds a charge) or, more importantly, "I dunno." Like in her catchphrase, "Whozawhatsit? Iono!", or her game, "Who's Iono's Partner? I'unno!" I notice people pronouncing it "Ee-On-Oh," and it annoys me a little. You don't have to wait for an official English pronunciation! It's right there in the captions!
When I saw Bellibolt in the thumbnail, I didn't think it was very interesting. Then Iono pointed out its "nostrils" are its real eyes, and for some reason I found it's design way more interesting. It's some kind of plasma ball avocado frog, and I am here for it. Will I put it in my party? I'unno! Maybe if I run into it soon enough.
youtube
And, finally, the latest reveal. Some PokéPundits were invited to a hands-on demo, and some mentioned seeing a new Pokémon that the NDA wouldn't allow them to elaborate on. I haven't checked to see if this was it, though, so I have to wonder.
youtube
Greavard is a great name. I assume it's a portmanteau of "Grave" and "Bernard," though it's not nearly as big as a Saint Bernard. It appears to prey on unsuspecting travelers by draining their energy as they play with it.
I feel like I've seen this exact design somewhere before. Like in a Hannah-Barbera cartoon or something. I can imagine they're at least an influence. A lot of cartoon dogs, usually bloodhounds and sheepdogs, have hidden eyes like that, but I feel like the whole thing is giving me déja-vu.
So what's my planned team look like now? Let's see...
Quaxly - "Señor Quacks"
Ralts - "Señora Carena"
Cyclizar/Miraidon - "Señor Huffy"/"Saint Akira"
Ceruledge - "Señor Crisis.EXE"
Klawf - "Señor Crabs"
Wildcard
Honestly, the last two slots may as well be wildcards. It took me too long to remember Klawf, and I'm not sure if I'm as into it as I was when it was revealed. I don't know how long I should keep those slots open, though, but I also want to try and avoid rotating Pokémon in and out of my party like I seem to do every generation.
Also, I've decided to include nicknames this time around. I like to come up with a naming convention sometimes. A lot of Pokémon I caught in Shield have names that end in "-ington" or "-sworth" or begin with "Sir," though for Legendaries and Mythicals I use the title of "Lord" (and a few have "Lady") and Ultra Beasts have "Prince" or "Princess." In Legends Arceus, I end their names with the archaic Japanese honoriffic "-dono," except for Legendaries and Mythicals, which get "-sama." And Alphas get α (the lower-case of the greek letter alpha) at the beginning of theirs. And shinies I generally try to give astrological or sci-fi names.
Since Paldea is generally based on Spain, Portugal, and the general Iberian peninsula area, I thought I'd go with "Señor" or "Señora" based on gender (probably shortened to "Sr"/"Sra" to save space) and "Saint" for Legendaries. I also considered a system revolving around Tera types (in Shield, I gave Gigantamax-capable Pokémon, and sometimes ones I just caught in Max Raid Battles, names with "Max" in them), but I thought that might be too complicated for a mechanic that might not extend beyond this generation. Especially since it applies to every Pokémon in this game, whether you caught it there or not. (And I'm still expecting a reveal of bespoke Terastallized forms, too. Ulterastallization! Make it real!)
Well, that's all I have to say for now. I'm sure I'll have more to say when more Pokémon are revealed, but that remains to be seen.
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Eunuch! Bum x Queen! Reader + King! Sangwoo
word count: 4.1k
tw: sangwoo, noncon, abuse of power, misogyny, murder, cheating, degradation, choking, cursing, minors dni
Ongoing…
[Chapter 2] , [Chapter 3]
Upon sliding the doors open, you were welcomed to blood spraying on your face. Droplets kissed your cheeks and if it was a calmer atmosphere, it would give the illusion of a blush. Reality, however, was much horrifying. Shocked by this, you stopped to assess the scene. Everyone was afraid to move a muscle as the king swung his sword, killing the chief state councilor with a stroke. As his body fell, more blood puddled at your feet, staining your slippers. Once the initial horror faded, you sprang forward, hugging Sangwoo’s midriff. “Your Majesty! Please stop this!” It was a brave or perhaps foolish action, interfering with your ruler. Words falling on deaf ears, he pushed you from him. The closest guard caught your form. Despite his absolute authority, killing nobles without reason, especially high ranking officers, was frowned on.
This is madness.
Your king was beauteous and cruel. A month into his ascension to the throne and he was already crumbling the ideals in which this nation was founded. Stray hairs hung around his chiseled face, tiny beads of sweat mixed with blood giving him a sadistic gleam as he grinned. Looking your way for a moment, he lazily waved at guards, “Take the Queen to her room.” Without a choice, the two of them gently nudged you from the scene. “Your Highness, please follow us.” Though their faces remained unmoving, their tone revealed their true feelings on the matter. Palm pressed against your mouth, you threw one last glance at the massacre before you. Blinking any lingering emotions, you walked away.
—
Pants filled the room as Sangwoo thrusted into you relentlessly. He was angry; even though he’d appointed new council members, he wasn’t sure he could trust them. In his mind, everyone was after his crown. You were angry as well, but for an entirely different reason.
You laid bare before your king, the fine robes that adorned your body pushed aside revealed your soft breasts; legs spread showed the path to your royal cunt. It disgusted you, thinking how many women had been in this bed, in your same position. Though the silk sheets were pristine, it could never truly wash away the sin. He grunted, “Stop overthinking. Just focus on—” he was close “—taking my seed, it’s all that matters.” Uncaring about your pleasure, Sangwoo bent you into an uncomfortable position, one that allowed his member to penetrate your walls at a deeper angle.
You allowed it.
The two of you, mostly you, were under incredible pressure to conceive. Not just a child, but a male heir. The fact that you hadn’t produced a son for the king was worrying to your mother. She wrote, often. It’s all she could talk about in her letters nowadays; there was fear in her that you would suffer as she did. Four miscarriages, three stillbirths, and then you. Highly superstitious, your mother believed that her misfortune was the price for the murder of the heirs by concubines in a fit of jealousy.
“Put a baby in me Sangwoo.”
You nearly begged, if only to end this. Making love wasn’t an option, nor your life a fairytale. No. King Sangwoo only fucked, and in the most inconvenient places too. You’ll never forget the embarrassment endured when you had tea with several noblewomen; your gracious king thought it would be appropriate to do it in a room adjacent to theirs. He bent you over a desk, throwing everything else off it, before sheathing himself inside of you. Emerging twenty minutes later, you couldn’t even look the ladies in the eyes. No one said anything, lest they lose their heads, but they knew.
Spurred by your words, Sangwoo thrusted faster and harder. “Fuuuck.” He stayed attached to you, like a dog, making sure your womb swallowed every last bit of his essence before pulling out. “Get pregnant.” Is all he said to you as he dressed again and exited the chambers. Out of breath and without a care, you laid there on the bed.
—
A life of servitude awaited YoonBum the second he was born. His poverty stricken parents sold him to be a household slave. Doomed to this fate, Bum tried his best to follow through and avoid punishments. Unfortunately, his master was a sadist and everyday, he received a beating.
After running errands, Bum stood in line to receive the bags of rice his master had ordered. It was the last thing on his list before readying to go home and continue working. Being close by, he couldn’t help but overhear several gentlemen talking, “Where is that damned village?!”
The village in question, it seems, was Bum’s hometown. Because it was a tiny place full of peasants and criminals, cartographers didn’t bother putting it on a map. Only those that came from there knew the area. Sangwoo caught him staring. Quickly glancing away, Bum only saw the man motioning to his companions from the corner of his eye. In a matter of seconds, he was facing the man. He was dressed in purple robes and a gat, symbolizing his status. “Do you know where this village is?”
Daring not to look him in the eye, Bum was slow to nod. He’d been out long enough; his master was probably marching towards the market to drag him home. “Show me.” As guessed, a heavy man came barreling in their direction. He was red in the face. “Bum!” Master Yoon screamed obscenities. Coming to a stop, he sneered at the men.
“We need your servant.”
Though the statement seemed like a request, Sangwoo’s tone made it clear that it was an order. The balding man huffed, ready to curse him out and refuse when Sangwoo showed his name tag. It was made of a cool stone, Oh Sangwoo engraved with the royal crest. The fact that was once red turned pale in realization. Meek before his ruler, Mister Yoon had no choice but to relent. “We’ll be taking him then.”
Bum felt his humanity slip away as he was given to another man so easily. With his head bowed down, he followed this strange new path forged by the man in purple robes.
—
The Heavens decided to smile on YoonBum when he saved the king’s life.
It was an accident, really. The guards felt no threat to the approaching figure in the form of a frail, old lady who was an assassin in disguise. YoonBum saw the knife before they did, jumping in front of Sangwoo.
Adrenaline in his system, Bum didn’t realize he was stabbed till he felt warmth seeping through his rags. Looking down, red spread around the area. It hurt. Badly. Bum’s legs felt like noodles; the little energy he had left his body as he collapsed onto the dirt. Even breathing was painful. His intervention set things in motion. One of the bodyguards chased down the assassin, two stood by Sangwoo and another leant down to help him. He must’ve asked something important but Bum couldn’t hear him clearly. It’s like he was submerged underwater. The last thing he saw before his vision turned black, was Sangwoo staring at him with interest.
He woke up in the nicest room he’s ever been.
The king didn’t visit him personally but he was sent a letter. Red overtook his face as he was forced to admit he didn’t know how to read. The servant relayed the contents, stating that when he was recovered, he would serve the king closely. From someone of his birth, it was the best he could get. YoonBum suddenly felt immensely grateful; he would no longer sleep in a shed with the pigs but a real mat! The pain on his side reminded him of the price he’d paid for this position, but he was used to being hurt. At least now it served to help him.
As the moment of glee passed, Bum realized he didn’t quite know the etiquette of serving the king. Joy left his body as he wondered how he would figure it out.
Like him, Sangwoo was plagued by this constant state of unhappiness. After the attempt on his life, he would think his subjects would be glad to see him breathing but instead he got murmurs of concern. What if he’d died? Who would’ve taken the throne since there was no heir? It would’ve thrown the palace into chaos.
Their silent pleas did not go unheard. “Maybe I should have them killed. Them and their entire families—” he paused when he saw you in the gardens, smiling at one of your ladies. His heart twisted. Sangwoo couldn’t explain it, but he always got the urge to inflict pain on you. He could say it stemmed from a place of resentment. How hard was it to get pregnant? If you gave him a son, he wouldn’t be pestered by these old fucks. Not to mention, your face contorting in distress was intoxicating—not even the concubines could compete with that.
Beneath his robes, his cock twitched with excitement. Oh, how he was going to enjoy this. Approaching your unsuspecting figure, he threw a dazzling smile to your courtesans. Sangwoo knew how to use his assets advantageously. Despite the suffering he caused, people were rendered speechless by his charm and good-looks.
He was like a snake, slithering towards his prey, waiting to attack. You did not hear him coming till you saw your ladies-in-waiting bowing. Greeting him appropriately, you expressed your relief. “Your Highness, I am glad to see you unharmed.”
It’d been a while since you last saw him; when he arrived, the rumour about the assassin spread like wildfire. “My Queen, you are truly a vision. These flowers have nothing on your beauty. You are proof that absence makes the heart grow fonder.” His honeyed words felt like prodding the bees’ nest. If you weren’t careful, you would be stung.
The only times he was this affectionate was when he wanted something. He played the same lovestruck role with your father to convince him of marrying you. Sending your ladies off, Sangwoo dropped his smile. His expression was replaced with desperation. Pulling on your wrist, the two of you traversed to your quarters since they were closer. “Ah!” Thrown harshly onto the bed, you hardly had time to compose yourself before he was mounting you. “Let’s put your cursed womb to good use.” A gasp escaped your lips as he entered you without warning. Your hands formed to fists, grabbing onto the sheets for dear life. It hurts, it hurts!
“Your Majesty! Please— aaah! Be more gentle..!”
Without seeing his face, you could already picture his cruel smirk. “You were born a disappointment. The least you could do is serve your purpose as my wife and bear me an heir.” His words angered you. Managing to twist away, you tried to escape his iron grip. This only resulted in you being pushed onto your back. Sangwoo pried your legs open and realigned himself.
Slap!
Sangwoo’s eyes widened with disbelief. The stinging in his cheek somehow made his pulse beat faster. Hands wrapping around your throat, he squeezed. “You should treat your king with more reverence. It would be a shame if the nation lost its queen. Especially one who can be easily replaced.” Having been the youngest war general, Sangwoo had strength to spare. Your hands seemed small as they banged on his form, silently begging to release you.
Having your life in his hands gave him the edge he needed to cum. With a low moan, Sangwoo emptied himself inside you. In turn, you couldn’t even focus on anything else other than breathing, choking as you gasped for air that you’d previously been deprived of. Knowing that he was capable of committing the worst, death seemed better than staying by his side.
“Perhaps I am not the problem, Your Majesty.”
Your voice was raspy but it rang clear across his majesty’s mind. Your words struck deep, like a knife embedded in his brain. It created a wound that would eventually fester. “Shut up.”
As if to disprove your point, he visited every concubine, not leaving until none of them were left untouched. He needed a son, one way or another, and if you wouldn’t give it to him, he would seek it elsewhere.
—
YoonBum was mostly healed; if anything, it appeared he’d been forgotten after a week of rest. The medic was currently tending to his wound, “It's healing nicely. A few more days and you should be out of here.”
The two of them turned at the sound of the door sliding open, immediately bowing at Her Highness’ entrance.
“Your Majesty, how can I be of use?” It was a bit surprising to see you there; your medical checkup wasn’t till another month. He wondered if you were feeling ill. Fabric wrapped around your neck; the weather was tepid, even inside the palace. That’s when he noticed the purple marks that peeked from under the material. Aware of his pointed stare, you moved the scarf upwards to conceal it. “I need you to acquire these medicinal herbs for me.” Taking the list, he read it carefully. How odd. Before he could ask what they were for, you added, “Your discretion would be appreciated.”
“Of course.”
Bum sat there silently, head facing the floor when you acknowledged him. “Are you the man that saved my husband?” Snapping upwards, he sputtered before letting out a quick “Yes!” Finally having a chance to gaze at your face, Bum felt himself turning red. Dressed in the finest silks from head to toe, standing with an air of regalness, was you. Unlike the king, there was warmth in you. Being in the presence of such a being felt unreal.
At first glance, the young man seemed no different than the other servants. However, his pink cheeks reminded you of innocence that one so rarely saw in the palace, which was filled with betrayal and resentment. His disposition was kind of endearing. You hoped he would remain like this, untainted by the world. “Then I must thank you.”
At your words, Bum’s figure lowered, forehead touching the wood. “Y-your Highness is too kind!” This position caused him a stab of discomfort, applying pressure to his wound yet he refused to straighten up. Noticing, you motioned at him, “Don’t force yourself.”
With that brief interaction, you were gone.
Entering your chambers, you signaled for the maid. Unwrapping the silk bandages, you stared at the mirror. Your husband’s marks served as a reminder of who held the power in this union. The young woman kneeled before you, taking a round brush and rolling it in powder. Although her ministrations were gentle, you couldn’t help but hiss when it applied pressure to your tender skin. “Forgive this servant, Your Majesty!”
“Don’t mind it. Continue.”
—
The king was anxious.
It was one thing for you to not get pregnant, but he’d been keeping busy and there was still no news of concubines with child. Reminded and bothered by your words, he summoned the royal physician. Sangwoo believed he wasn’t the problem, he just needed confirmation. What did you know? He wanted an expert to say that he was fulfilling his duties as king and it was everybody else that lacked.
“I’m sorry to say this, Your Highness.. but you’re infertile.”
With great effort, Sangwoo stopped himself from strangulating the doctor. It was impossible. A frown etched itself in Sangwoo’s face, his handsome features twisting into something scary. “You’re wrong.” It didn’t make sense; as a healthy male in his prime, Sangwoo shouldn’t have a problem fathering as many children as he could. There were several causes that may have caused his infertility, especially since he was a war general but the fact remained that he could not produce children.
Only an heir of royal blood could be king.
He forced the poor man to do every test available to ensure this. The result was the same. Again. And again. “You must not be doing your job right.” As the guards dragged the pleading man, a piece of paper fell from the medics’ robes during the struggle. Picking it up, Sangwoo recognized your handwriting.
“What’s this?”
There was temporary relief in the man’s face as Sangwoo stopped in front of him. “That.. the Queen requested a few me-medicinal herbs.” It didn’t sit right with Sangwoo. Why on earth would you need this shit? The physician seemed hesitant to answer his question. A rough push finally ushered him to say, “Alone these herbs are fine, but mixed..”
As requested, the herbs were delivered to you by the doctor’s assistant. The timing was perfect too. “Why didn’t your master deliver these himself?” Nervous, the boy stuttered a few excuses before asking for permission to leave. That should’ve raised flags in your head but you wanted the plan to work. You needed it to work.
The king had finally taken time out of his busy schedule to visit you, and not just to copulate. He was kind enough to accept your invitation to have a picnic at the pavilion. It was surrounded by a grand lake and vividly green trees; a true landscape.
Sangwoo arrived with a familiar man at his side. You realized you never asked for his name, though that was easily fixed when Sangwoo made a vague motion towards him. “That’s Bum.” He was dressed in green and Sangwoo in red. In comparison to their bright colors, you wore a soft pastel pink, denoting your sophisticated features.
Sitting down, you signaled the servant to begin pouring the soup. Sangwoo raised a brow, curious, “You’re not going to eat?” Listening to your response, a smile appeared on his face. “I wanted to make a special meal for Your Highness, from the bottom of my heart.” It was unnerving, the way he looked at you. Still, you never lost composure, waiting patiently for him. That is, until he asked Bum to lean down and try it. Obedient, the male did so without question. Eyes widening, you managed to stop Bum from tasting. Your hand held onto his wrist tightly—the spoon hovering centimeters from his lips. A few droplets spilled onto the wooden table. Sangwoo tilted his head to the side, innocent expression in tow. “Something wrong?”
Everything is wrong!
Sangwoo knew. You didn’t know how, but of this, you were sure. Fear is what he wanted and you weren’t going to give it to him. “This meat in this broth was especially prepared for His Royal Highness. It shouldn’t go to waste on someone else.” The tip of Bum’s ears burned from embarrassment. He was under the impression you were a benevolent queen; instead, he was reminded of his lowly status. Of course he couldn’t eat the expensive meat, a peasant like him wouldn’t know how to appreciate the flavor. The hurt on his face was evident but he turned to the king, awaiting further instructions. Sangwoo wasn’t fazed, “Don’t be silly.”
Taking the spoon, Sangwoo offered it to you.
You stared at it, unmoving. Sangwoo poked your lips, “Who else but the Queen would be worthy to try such delicacy?” He was baiting you, daring you to deny or confess. Neither was an option. Grabbing the spoon from him, you slowly opened your mouth and dropped the contents inside. Sangwoo’s eyes narrowed slightly but he said nothing. “Swallow.” Damn him to hell. Before you could do such a thing, a guard interrupted. Apparently there were news concerning Yang Seungbae, a traitor to the crown; he was spotted near a town on the outskirts of the forest.
Sangwoo hated him. More than anyone. That bastard was working hard to rally forces that would conspire against him. While things were peaceful at court, Sangwoo had felt a shift ever since the assassination attempt. His eye twitched in annoyance, though you weren’t entirely positive if it was because of Seungbae or the fact that he’d been interrupted. Sitting completely still, you watched as Sangwoo whispered to Bum before leaving. As soon as he was gone, you grabbed a handkerchief and spit out the soup. This action worries a few servants but you waved them off. “It’s cold.” They couldn’t understand as you ordered them to throw it, seeing as it was perfectly edible. Such a waste, disposing of such good meat.
Bum followed you like a lost puppy. The first night Sangwoo bedded him, YoonBum experienced true love. It wasn’t gentle; the king’s touch harbored no hatred but passion. Bum had never felt like that. It made him feel special; the ruler of the country placed his lips and strong hands on his skinny body. He had a queen, concubines, and still, he went to him. Elated couldn’t begin to describe how Bum felt. His feelings for his king were all-consuming. Since then, he’d made a promise to follow every order Sangwoo asked of him. Bum didn’t have anything against you, truly, but his loyalty laid with his king.
On their way back, they encountered Imperial Concubine Min Jieun. The crowd following her greeted you respectfully, and while she did so too, there was a triumphant smirk on her face. Nodding in acknowledgment, you continued walking, enjoying nature. The sun warmed your skin, making you forget about any worries, if only for a moment. Once the group was out of earshot, you glanced at your companion. “What was that about?” It was no secret how spoiled Min Jieun was; she was a woman of noble birth, groomed to perfection. That’s the facade she chose to wear instead of the power hungry bitch she was. Envy burned in every particle of her body. She wanted you out of the picture—she wanted to be queen and mother of Sangwoo’s children. Still, your position commanded respect. Your lady leaned in, whispering, “There’s rumors that she’s with child.”
“Oh.”
Bum watched your composed reaction with intrigue. He could understand if you held a grudge towards her. He did. You would always be first to the king, so he had to accept that. Bum knew it was the way things ran. However, he couldn’t say the same for the other concubines. They had the chance to bear Sangwoo’s child. Bum only wished he could do so too. Alas, this resentment made him feel guilty because the concubines were amicable women—well, except Min Jieun. He didn’t realize that they were shackled to this restrictive lifestyle; that they had no choice but to make the best of the situation.
“Is there something you want to say?”
Almost jumping at the sudden sound of your voice, Bum gazed around to see who you were talking to. Finding your clear eyes on him, he realized you’d seen through him. “Uh.. n-no, Your Majesty..”
“Say it.”
“How.. how does Your Majesty handle it?”
Though the question itself was vague, you got the gist. “Queens are expected to rise above such earthly emotions.” You had a solemn expression and the grip around your fan tightened, “Jealousy is futile.”
Nodding, Bum felt like he’d swallowed vinegar. This revelation left him in deep thought. Perhaps that was the difference between royals and peasants; possessiveness was quick to overtake him while you had to live with the knowledge that your husband would seek the company of others.
Hm, maybe he was right not to envy you.
—
“The Queen has fallen ill.”
It was so sudden; you were so healthy one day and the next, chills racked your body, fever uncontrollable. The court tried to be positive on the matter but it wasn’t looking good. Sangwoo was advised to refrain from visiting you—if he got sick too, it would affect the entire nation. “I will see my wife as I see fit.”
“Open the door and step aside.”
He was like an angel of death, entering with eerie calmness. Even through the soft curtains he could see your weakened form. You looked thinner, unable to eat. The physicians tried to get you to consume anything but it was just regurgitated in minutes.
The bed dipped under his weight as he sat next to you.
“Did you eat something bad?” He caressed your face, pushing hairs away that stuck due to the sweat. Fingers tightening on the blankets, you managed to open your mouth. “Congratulations.” Lips pale and cracked, you smiled sardonically. Sangwoo wasn’t expecting that reaction. “What are you talking about?”
“I’ve heard news that Concubine Jieun is pregnant.”
A dark look crossed his face. “Is that so?” He stood, “Perhaps I should pay her a visit.” Though his tone was mocking, there was something bothering Sangwoo. Fortunately for the king, you were too woozy to think straight. Leaning down, Sangwoo placed a hand behind your neck, lifting you just a bit, enough to kiss your lips.
“Don’t die.”
#oh sangwoo#sangwoo x yoonbum#sangwoo x reader#sangwoo#yoonbum x you#yoonbum x y/n#yoonbum x reader#killing stalking yoonbum#killing stalking#ks yoonbum#ks sangwoo#yang seungbae#king x reader
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