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a-second-hand-sorrow · 5 years

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Can’t Buy Me Love (Freddie Mercury X Reader)

WC: 1626

Warnings: Implied smut, it is So Cute y’all

Summary: another Beatles fic yeet

A/N: This is my first Freddie fic so I hope you guys like it. Also apologies if your birthday isn't in April, mine is so it was just easier lol.

Can’t buy me love. I'll buy you a diamond ring, my friend if it makes you feel all right. I'll get you anything my friend, if it makes you feel all right

June 1970

“Freddie, I’m home. Where are you?” Y/N asked, crouching down and gently stroking Delilah as the cat rubbed her head against the woman’s leg.

“In the bedroom, my love.” Freddie called, prompting Y/N to chuckle as she shed her jacket and shoes before walking into the living room. She saw Freddie lying on the mattress under the piano, his hands stretched up behind his head as he played softly.

“How was work?” Freddie asked as Y/N joined him in bed, wrapping his arms around her waist. A content sigh escaped Y/N’s lips, her head resting on her boyfriend’s bare chest.

“Tedious as always. God, I wish I didn’t have to work at this stupid store, but life is life, and money is important.” Y/N grumbled, and Freddie moved one of his hands to wind up in Y/N’s hair, pressing a reassuring kiss to the top of her head.

“Sure, money can get you a lot of things, but it can’t buy love, can it?” Freddie said, smirking as he heard the groan Y/N let out at his words. She lifted her head and looked up at him, trying to be mad but his childlike grin made her anger dissipate.

“Freddie, I love you but please don’t quote Beatles songs when I’m in a mood.” Y/N said, snuggling back into her boyfriend’s chest, feeling a sense of calm wash over her when she heard his steady heartbeat.

“Anyway, money won’t matter once I’m famous, Y/N. I will be able to get you anything your heart desires, and I will spoil you absolutely rotten, my dear.” Freddie said, gently running his fingers up and down Y/N’s back.

“That’s assuming we’re still together when you’re famous. You’ll be a rock star Fred, but I’ll just be a bland old shop assistant.” Y/N said solemnly, causing Freddie to frown immediately.

“Y/N, darling look at me.” Freddie said, lightly grasping Y/N’s chin and tilting it up so she was looking into his eyes.

“You, Y/N Y/L/N, are the love of my life. There will never be a day where I don’t love you, and once I have enough money to buy it there will certainly be a diamond ring sitting on your left hand.” Freddie said, and Y/N let out a soft gasp, an adoring smile on her face as she brought Freddie into a brief kiss.

“I love you, Fred. Now play me a song, rock star.”

'Cause I don't care too much for money, for money can't buy me love. I'll give you all I've got to give if you say you love me too. I may not have a lot to give, but what I've got I'll give to you

December 1976

“Y/N, my love are you ok?” Freddie asked, knocking on the door of the bathroom he saw his fiancée disappear into. Today was the release party for Queen’s ‘A Day At The Races’ album and Y/N thought she could handle it. However the party was a higher scaled than the previous one, and Y/N panicked.

She opened the door slowly, letting Freddie enter the en suite before quickly shutting the door. “I don’t know how I feel about this, Freddie. Everyone’s covered in expensive clothes and jewellery, and they’re drinking champagne that costs more than my life.” Y/N rambled, tugging awkwardly on the dress Freddie bought for her.

“Y/N love you look stunning. You put everyone else to shame.” Freddie said, gently grasping her forearms and pressing a kiss to her cheek. She gave him a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, and Freddie furrowed his eyebrows.

“Thanks Fred, but that’s not quite what I meant. I feel like I don’t belong here. I don’t have money, Freddie. Everything nice I own you’ve bought for me.” Y/N said, her voice growing meeker as she spoke, and Freddie gently cupped her face.

“I thought you liked it when I bought you gifts.” Freddie said, confusion evident in his voice.

“I do, love, it’s just sometimes it gets too much. I’m still not used to all the glitz and glamour, Freddie.” Y/N said, and Freddie let out a sigh, bringing her into a hug.

“Can I tell you a secret? Sometimes it’s a lot for me as well, I’m just a great pretender, my love.” Freddie said, gently rocking them as they embraced. Y/N let out a laugh, kissing his cheek with a smile.

“I love you, Freddie. You’re all I need, and to be honest I don’t care for money. Never really have, actually, but that’s beside the point. I don’t have a lot to give you, Freddie, but I’ll give you everything I have because I love you, and hopefully you love me too.” Y/N said, gently fiddling with the collar and lapels of Freddie’s blazer.

Freddie looked down and carefully took Y/N’s hand in his, raising it to his lips and pressing a barely-there kiss to her knuckles.

“Y/N, I’ve loved you since that awful first gig with Smile all the way back when, and I promise you I will still love you, even if I’m the richest or poorest man on earth. Now, darling, let’s go dance. It is a party after all.”

Say you don't need no diamond ring, and I'll be satisfied. Tell me that you want the kind of things that money just can't buy. I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love

April 1978

“Romeo, come here boy.” Y/N said, clicking her fingers and trying desperately to get the cat’s attention. Her attempts were in vain, and she let out an offended gasp at his behaviour.

“Naughty boy. You’ve been giving me nothing but trouble for the last few months, and I’ve had it. I’m telling Freddie about this when he gets home from his tour.” Y/N said, staring the cat dead in the eyes, scoffing when Romeo trotted away, clearly unbothered by Y/N’s comments.

“What’re you telling me, darling?” Y/N gasped at the all-too familiar voice of her husband, whirling around with a shocked expression etched onto her face.

“Freddie… you’re home.” Y/N said, tears forming in her eyes as Freddie nodded, stepping forward and pulling her into a tight hug that made up for months of missed affection.

“I couldn’t miss my wife’s birthday, could I? What kind of husband would I be?” Freddie said, wiping away the tears that had fallen down Y/N’s cheeks as she chuckled, giving him a bright smile.

“Freddie, I love you so much. You didn’t have to do this for me.” Y/N said, and Freddie scoffed, walking to the fridge and pulling out a nice bottle of champagne, noticing that Y/N had already opened it.

“Nonsense. I needed to at least spend some of your birthday with you.” Freddie said, pouring two glasses of champagne as Y/N came up behind him, snaking her arms around his waist.

“You are an angel, Mr Mercury.” Y/N said, resting her head on Freddie’s shoulder as he passed her a glass, turning around so he was facing his wife.

“To you, Mrs Mercury. Happy birthday my love.” Freddie said, tapping his glass against Y/N’s with a smile, feeling Oscar brush up against his legs.

“I hope the cats have been decent company while I was absent.” Freddie said, leading Y/N onto the couch in the living room. Y/N chuckled, letting out a sigh as she eyed Romeo from across the room.

“Most of them have been a delight. Romeo has been a handful, but he’s always taken after his father in terms of a love of the dramatics.” Y/N said, giggling as Freddie let out an exaggerated gasp.

“I’ll be having words with him later, then.” Freddie said, kissing Y/N’s temple before glaring at his cat.

“Dance with me, Fredrick.” Y/N said, setting down her empty glass as she stood up, holding her hand out to her husband who took it with a smile.

“Gladly, my dear.” Freddie said, twirling Y/N around before pulling her against his chest, resting his chin on top of her head. They swayed to their own beat, the lack of music not bothering them one bit.

“See, Fred, these are the things that mean the most to me. The intimate moments that money can’t buy. I don’t need diamond rings and expensive coats to satisfy me, I just need you.” Y/N said after a few minutes, pulling away to look up at her husband.

“You’re such a romantic, Y/N. I think you put Deacy to shame and he wrote his wife a song that went on to become a hit.” Freddie said, and Y/N rolled her eyes, gently slapping his chest.

“You say that like you haven’t written me songs, Fred.” Y/N said, and Freddie paused, shrugging his shoulders as he smiled at Y/N.

“I’m aging, darling. Apologies for being forgetful.” Freddie said, his smile widening as Y/N shook her head, a laugh bubbling from her lips.

“Fred you’re only 31.” Y/N retorted, poking his cheek gently. A comfortable silence fell over the couple as they continued dancing, soaking up the feeling of being in each other’s arms for the first time in months.

“I love you Y/N, and I missed you terribly while I was away. It’s so dull without you, even on tour.” Freddie murmured, his voice slightly muffled by Y/N’s hair.

“I know, Fred. I missed you so much. Why don’t we go to the bedroom and I can show you just how much I missed you, hmm?”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea. Lead the way, Mrs Mercury.”

#queen #bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rhapsody x reader #bohemian rhapsody imagine #freddie mercury #freddie mercury x reader #freddie mercury imagine #rami malek #borhap

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screamingintosilence · 6 years

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Heartbeats in the Quiet

Summary: It was usually just a cold, but this felt like the flu. Future Fic One-Shot of our favorite couple being their worry-wart selves. Nancy would be an amazing doctor.

Pairing: Mileven

Can also be read on AO3 here

December 9, 1994

Jane ‘El’ Wheeler (née Hopper) was worried.

That wasn’t anything new, Mike liked to tease her about being such a worry wart over everything. He understood that it stemmed from her days in the lab, of always feeling the pressure to please, so even though he teased, he also reassured. Mike was her God send and she still thanked her lucky stars every morning that he found her in the woods.

But El was worried more than usual. Winter seemed to have come early this and it felt like there weren’t enough layers or hot coffee and cocoa in the world to keep her from freezing. Even now as she sat bundle on their couch in their small one bedroom apartment with her favorite Christmas movie on and the biggest mug they owned filled to the brim with steaming hot Ovaltine clutched in her small hands, she was shivering.

She had even resorted to dragging their portable radiator from the bedroom out into the living area and putting it on the highest setting, something Mike was sure to be slightly annoyed at when he came home.

She had left her job as a speech therapist at the local elementary school early today, which worked out in her favor since she didn’t need to see anyone after noon on Fridays, which is what today happened to be.

For the past few days she had been waking up to nausea and puking out whatever they had eaten the night before, which given the time of year wasn’t completely strange, but she usually got the flu around mid-January.

Probably this stupid weather, she thought crossly, watching as George told Mary that he would give her the moon. El had always hated the cold, after everything she had experienced as a child, no one could blame her. But El adored Christmas. Their friends and family all laughed at her enthusiasm for the holiday, but they loved watching how giddy it made her.

This of course is why catching the flu this early was causing her to be downright miserable. She was used to the occasional sniffles that she had because of the weather changing drastically, but the flu tended to put her out of commission for days, a feeling that she loathed.

Her head snapped to the door as she heard keys rattling from the outside. She reached out with her mind to quickly unlock and open the door to see a stunned Mike on the other side, his hand looking like it was just about to put the key into the door.

He blinked in surprise as he saw his wife of 3 years curled up in the middle of their sofa with a blanket wrapped over her head and several others around her body, looking miserable as all get out.

“El, baby, are you ok? Why is it a sauna in here?” The heat of the room finally hit him as he quickly took off his outer layers all the way down to his undershirt as he stepped into the apartment, kicking the door closed behind him. He had no clue how she wasn’t dying from heat stroke. Once he was untangled from his clothes he strode around the couch, hands reaching out for her face to see if her temperature was off.

She let out a shriek as his hands made contact with her skin, “Mike! They’re freezing! Stop!”

He quickly pulled his hands away and held them close to the radiator. He took notice of how high it was set before turning back to the shivering woman next to him. “El, sweetheart, are you feeling ok? You look miserable.”

His words triggered something in her as tears started pouring down her cheeks and sobs to break from her lips. Panic overtook the young man as he scrambled to think of what he had done to set her off.

“I’m ugly?” she whimpered. The logic part of her brain was trying to tell her to get a grip, that she was overreacting, but the emotional part was all out of wack.

“What?! Baby?! Why are you crying?!” Mike was cradling her face and wiping her tears away as best he could but she just kept on sobbing.

“Be-because George would have given Mary the moon, a-and then you came home and I’ve missed you so much, and then you put your freezing hands o-on me, and then you said I look mi-miserable which means you think I’m ugly! And I’ve been feeling like crap every morning, and my boobs h-hurt and my whole body hurts, and I think I’m getting the flu early this year w-which isn’t fair because I love Christmas!” her blubbering rant ended when her sobs became too much and all Mike could think to do was pulling his tiny wife, blankets and all, into his lap after setting down her mug on the coffee table.

“Baby, shhh, it’s ok. You’ve seen this movie a million times and haven’t cry at it in years,” her sobs seemed to only increase as she took his statement as him pointing out a flaw. “Shit, baby, I’m sorry! That came out wrong. But I think you’re the most beautiful woman in the entire universe, I just thought you were looking sick, which you just said you feel like you might be!” His hands were running up and down her back trying to calm her as best he could. “If you’re getting the flu, we can go to the doctor and get medicine! I’ll nurse you back to health as fast I can so we can still enjoy all our Christmas traditions. It’ll be ok, I promise.”

Her sobs had slowed, finally quieting, and her tears had ceased as she tucked herself into her favorite place, under his chin. “I'm just so exhausted and ready for this to be over. And I already called Dr. Denebrough’s office, they said they can't get me in until Monday,” he could hear the pout in her voice.

“We could go to Nancy. I'm sure she could squeeze us in,” Mike offered as El simply snorted in response, still wiping her damp cheeks.

“Nancy is a ob-gyn, Mike. Besides, it's already 3:30, I doubt she's going to want us to come in this close to the practice closing.”

“El, it's Nancy were talking about, she loves you. Even more than she loves me! And besides, she'd be able to write you a prescription at least.”

El let out a sigh but knew that when Mike was determined to help, he was like a dog with a bone. Plus, he was probably right, and it would be wonderful to get better and be back to her happy holiday-joy-infused self as soon as possible.

“Fine,” she conceded while rolling off Mike's lap and back onto the couch so he could call his sister.

“Hey Miss Dawn, it's Mike Wheeler... Yeah, we're doing good. Hey, is my sister free right now by chance? Ok great!” Mike knew he always had speed through the greeting with the elderly receptionist that worked at the practice Nancy was established at. He was put on hold for a few minutes while they tracked her down for him.

“Hey Nance! Yeah, yeah, everything is good, well with me at least... Woah! Calm down, she's ok, she's on the couch... Look, she's actually why I'm calling... What? No! We talked about this, Nance,” he said the last part under his breath so El couldn't hear over the sounds of It's A Wonderful Life.

Nancy had freaked on the other end asking if El was pregnant, which was something that was actually a very hard spot for the couple. They had found out about three years ago that the chance of El ever getting pregnant were less than 0.01% because of what she had endured in the lab.

Dr. Brenner had been honest and upfront about it, refusing to sugar coat any of it, but none of it would have made the facts hurt any less.

The time right after had been the worst point their relationship had ever reached. After going through the counseling, however, they had become stronger than ever before. They had even started tossing around the idea of maybe adoption or fostering within the last few months.

“Look, El’s just feeling sick and we want to see if it's the flu or maybe something else because she's been feeling pretty crappy and our usually family doctor can't get her in till Monday... You're free?.. And you really don't mind?.. Great, you're the best, sis... Yeah, yeah, I'm not repeating that. See you in a bit.”

As he hung up the phone, he had already layering all his clothes back on and checking on his wife who was not too happy about having to leave their cozy apartment for the bitter Indiana weather. He handed her her boots and held her pile of blankets that she deemed mandatory to bring along as she tied up the strings.

Once they were piled into the car, El wrapped in blankets with the car’s heat on high and vents pointing all at her, they drove quickly to Nancy’s practice on the edge of South Bend. Thankfully for them they only lived a short 20 minutes away instead of the hour that Hawkins was.

They bustled inside with a quick “Hello” to Dawn as Nancy ushered them back into an examine room, a nurse quickly following behind.

“Ok, El, just to make sure we hit all our bases here, I’m just going to have to go through the usual routine,” Nancy told the younger woman as the nurse stood by with a clipboard, poised to take down all the stats. El agreed, hoping they could figure out if it really was the flu or hopefully something a lot less serious to calm her incessantly worrying mind.

So after all the height, weight, blood pressure, and temperature taking, El was already feeling even more tired than she had started out.

“So, you say that you’re feeling cold? Even with a heater and blankets?” Nancy was looking down at the clipboard while scribbling notes once the nurse had left. El nodded, words feeling like too much work. “That’s a little odd. I can’t fully rule out the flu quite yet, but you’re not showing any signs of a fever or cold. In fact, your body temperature is quite literally on the dot of normal.” Nancy’s eyes were slightly concerned, wishing she could find an easy solution for her sister-in-law. “I’d like to do a blood test, if you are ok with it. I know it’s not your favorite,” she stroked El’s arm as her eyes grew a bit panicked at the thought, “but it’ll be by far the most accurate way without getting too intrusive to try and see what might be wrong.”

When El finally conceded, squeezing all feeling out of Mike’s hand, Nancy called out to Jackie, the nurse, to bring in the blood test kit. When all was said and done, with an averted panic attack thanks to Mike, Nancy made sure to put a special rush request on the results to in the lab.

“It usually takes two hours for the results to come back, but I’m hoping with how slow today has been that maybe they’ll be able to get it done sooner,” Nancy wrote some more notes on the sheets before looking up to El biting her bottom lip. Mike was staring at his wife in worry, wishing there was something, anything to make her feel ok.

“What have you been feeling lately? Tell me exactly, don’t leave anything out,” Nancy was hoping that maybe she would be able to narrow down what could possibly be affecting one of her favorite people.

“Well,” El glanced at Mike who nodded reassuringly. “I’ve been waking up feeling nauseous for what feels like a few weeks now, but have only started throwing up this past week. And it hasn’t just been in the morning, sometimes my lunch smells weird which makes me nauseous. I’m always so tired and my body is sore, which might be from the vomiting but I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. My boobs especially, but it’s probably from my period coming. They’re always super tender,” El could see all the concern clouding Mike’s eyes since she hadn’t been telling him everything.

“And she’s been feeling like she’s freezing,” Mike added on for good measure.

Once Nancy had written it all down, she looked back over her notes, and then leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees and her face in her hands. She was wary of asking what she wanted to ask, but in her line of work, she felt it was something she needed to to cover all her bases.

“El, sweetheart,” she started out gently. “Just to check all my boxes, I need to ask. When did you have your last period?”

El was startled at the question since Nancy knew about her condition. But as El thought about it more, she couldn’t think of writing on the calendar for the month of November when it started. She was meticulous about making sure to note it down, ever since she had started at 14 and Joyce told her to. Mike would make sure, but they had gotten so busy after Halloween this year with all the festivities, decorating, and prep for Thanksgiving and Christmas, she hadn’t even thought about it.

She worriedly looked to Mike to see if maybe he remembered, but he was slowly shaking his head, eyes wide as he looked back at her.

“I-I can’t, I can’t remember,” her worry was increasing tenfold, hoping desperately that wouldn’t mean that there was something more serious going on. “It might, it might have been the end of September. That’s when I remember for sure having it.”

Nancy sat thinking seriously for a few minutes, trying to consider everything. She knew how devastating the news of her brother and the love of his life being very unlikely to conceive was to them, especially taking into consideration of El’s and Mike’s love of kids. She really didn’t want to jump to any conclusions, but she was desperately hoping for them.

“You know what? How about you guys go for dinner? I want to look through some stuff and it will give me enough time for your blood test results to come back,” Nancy suggested. She knew that El’s symptoms could actually apply to quite a few different things, especially her feeling cold being thrown into the loop, and wanted enough time to look through the medical books she kept in her office as well as be able to consult the results to be sure.

Mike and El were uneasy at the suggestion with so much uncertainty up in the air, but eventually they agreed and went on their way to a cafe just down the road from Nancy’s office, Mike doing his best to reassure his wife who he knew was internalizing everything.

Nancy was spending her time running through her books, not being able to place every single symptom of El’s into one thing. An hour since sending the blood work to the lab, a lab tech appeared at her door, a file folder in his hands.

Nancy quickly glanced over the sheet, her eyes growing wider as what it was trying to tell her sunk in, tears overtaking her as the reality of the news she was going to have to deliver hit her. She was just drying her eyes as Jackie stuck her head in to let the young ob-gyn know that her brother and sister-in-law had returned.

“Thanks Jackie. Can you show them into the exam room? Oh, and one more thing,” Jackie nodded in response to Nancy’s request as Nancy finished pulling herself together and made sure she had everything in order before she had to give them the life changing news.

She made her way back to the room were El and Mike were waiting for her. The minute she entered their eyes snapped to her, begging her to tell them good news. She gave a tight, small smile as she asked El to lay on the exam table.

“So I have the results from the blood test back-”

“And?” Mike demanded, cutting her off.

She held her hand up to keep him from attacking her, “And there is one last test, or rather check, I would like to do to just to be one hundred percent sure. Given, it might actually not show me anything this early in your condition,” El ears perked at ‘condition’ as every worst case scenario shot through her mind.

“Whatever you have to do, do it. I need to know,” El cut of any more explanation Nancy might have continued to give as Mike gripped her hand hard.

“If you wouldn’t mind unbuttoning your pants and pulling your shirt up a bit,” Nancy asked as she wheeled over the machine that had a small screen with keyboard and wand that had already been prepped for her by Jackie.

Mike’s eyebrows disappeared into his hairline at his sister’s request as he also took in the machine. “Why, Nance? And isn’t that an ultrasound machine?”

“Well, yes. But ultrasound machines can be used for a great many things, not just to check if you’re pregnant,” she tried reassuring the young couple. “It’s less radiation and time than an x-ray, plus it’ll give me a chance to search for what I’m looking for.” Mike quirked an eyebrow at her but her face gave nothing away.

El, who was lying prone at an angle on the table, had already complied with Nancy’s request, willing to do anything her sister-in-law asked of her, as long as they could find out what was wrong.

“I’ll need to spread this gel so that the wand can pick up a picture. It will be cold, is that ok?” Nancy looked at her to make sure she had her consent and El nodded back. After the sharp intake of breath at first contact, Mike wrapped his arms around his love the best he could while staying out of the way.

The whole damn room is cold, he thought bitterly, hoping this wouldn’t take too long. His hands covered El’s as she reached up for them, trying to keep her as warm as possible.

Nancy had been fiddling around with the wand for a few minutes, slowly swiping it slowly across El’s abdomen by her pant line. After clicking a few buttons here and there, she donned a pair of headphones. At Mike’s questioning gaze Nancy gave a stern, “I just need you to trust me and let me do my job.”

After another minute or so, she slipped them off, giving the two people in front of her a small smile. “I’m not sure how to tell you this, but I think I first need to show you.”

Both Mike and El looked at her and each other completely lost as to what Nancy was trying to tell them. In their confusion, Nancy had replaced the wand to a certain area of El’s stomach before flipping a switch on the ultrasound machine, letting a loud whooshing sound flood the room.

“What is that?” bewilderment still prevailing through Mike. Nancy just smiled and turned the screen to them, pointing at a miniscule dot on the screen.

“It’s a heartbeat,” her smile growing wider as their confusion only grew.

“But my heart’s up here,” El was holding her hand over her chest.

Nancy moved the wand from El’s lower belly to over her heart, the sound changing to a low, steady heartbeat, slower than before. “That’s actually your heartbeat, El. This,” she moved the wand back to its original position, the swooshing, galloping sound playing through the speakers once more, “is a different heartbeat.”

As the reality of what she was saying to them finally seemed to sink in, El’s hand tightened on Mike’s, cutting off circulation. Mike, however, didn’t even register the feeling as his whole body seemed numbed, the shock overriding his nervous system.

“It’s still really early, you’re looking at about 10 weeks or so, so it’s imperative that you listen to your body and be careful about this. The first trimester is usually the highest chance of a miscarriage, but with you El, I’d be careful the whole time. I would say your coldness might have something to do with all your heat being pulled to your core to keep this little one safe and warm. It is a bit unusual, so I would definitely check in with Dr. Brenner soon, but congratulations! You guys are going to have a baby!” Nancy couldn’t contain the giant smile and small squeal of excitement over the thought of these two deserving souls getting something they had hung up as being impossible.

“Oh my god,” Mike finally managed to choke out just as sobs started coming from El’s direction. As his eyes turned to her, his heart felt like it was going to explode as massive amounts of fear and panic overtook him at his wife’s tears. He folded her into his arms, “Baby, it’s going to be ok. We’ll figure it out, we’ll make sure we’re safe. Everything is going to be ok.”

“I c-can’t believe it!” she was wailing. And while she knew that she should probably calm down to make sure her husband knew that she wasn’t upset, all her brain could think of was that there was a precious life growing inside of her and that it was made up of her and Mike.

Knowing there was no way for her to get words of reassurance out, she lifted her lips to Mike’s as she threaded her fingers through his inky locks, pouring everything she was feeling into the kiss.

When they finally pulled apart, Mike rested his forehead on hers, eyes staring into her chocolate browns, thumbs wiping away her tear tracks. “You’re absolutely amazing, baby. I love you so much, Ellie. We’ll make sure we do everything right and that we’re careful to make sure this little one is safe and warm and happy,” one of his hands dropped to stroke her lower belly which was still covered in the gel; he could care less.

Tears still in her eyes, she gripped him fiercely, “Thank you, Mike. Thank you for saving me and continue to save me. Thank you for being my miracle.”

“Thank you for being mine.”

As they drove home that night, Mike going well under the speed limit and El gave a small eyeroll, they thought back to everything they had gone through and ahead to everything they were about to go through. They knew it was going to be a very difficult journey and that no matter what they did or how they prepared, there would be something unexpected.

In this moment, however, with all the doubts and worries, they felt the one thing they didn’t realize they hadn’t felt for a while now...Hope.

#mileven #mike x eleven #mike wheeler #eleven #fan fiction #Nancy Wheeler #st fanfiction #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction

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citious · 7 years

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CHAPTER 1

Characters

Main: Song Jiwon, Yoon Jinmyung, Jung Yeeun, Yoo Eunjae, Jo Eun, Kang Yina, Im Sungmin, Kwon Hochang, Jo Chungwon, Seo Janghoon

Supporting: Lawyer - Jo Eunhee, Prosecutor - Jung Jaechan, Han Gwanyoung, Wife - Kim Haesook

In a nutshell: A follow up from the open-ending stories of Belle Epoque girls. Has Eunjae moved on from her first breakup? How will Teacher Han’s case unravel? and last but not least, is it the beginning of the end in regards to Ssongsungmin’s friendship?

Rating: T

9th February 2018

Though Kang-eonni isn’t exactly a member of the Belle Epoque anymore, she often comes over. She and Jo Eun are now familiar with each other, so the 6 girls are very cose now. On some occasions, the girls would have a feast party every month or so, and Kang-eonni would stay overnight, occupying the sofa until the next morning. Belle Epoque has practically become her second home.

During one of the gatherings, the Belle Epoque girls swarmed the living room and had a feast of chicken, beers, and decided to play truth or dare. It was a no-guy meet-up, so the girls could be comfortable playing. Using spin-the-can-of-beer method, the girls decided whose turn it would be.

Eunjae got picked. The girls waited for her choice to either answer a question truthfully, or do a dare as requested.

Eunjae: Uh… this is a hard choice

Yina: Ya, come on. This is just a game, and it’s just between us anyway.

Hearing Kang-eonni’s explanation, Eunjae made her choice.

Eunjae: Truth.

The girls got excited to hear Eunjae’s choice as there are many things to dig out from one of the maknaes in the house. Without further ado, Yeeun swiftly raised the question.

Yeeun: Have you ‘done that’ with Chungwon?

(Oh wait. If you don’t know what happened yet, Eunjae and Chungwon finally got together in the end.)

Flashback

20th December 2017

Up until the end of 2017, Eunjae still couldn’t move on from her first love, Jongyeol. It was her first love and boyfriend at the same time, so it’s super hard to forget about him.

Chungwon knew all these because every time he fetched Eunjae after class outside her lecture room, she always didn’t listen to his greetings and instead tried to find Jongyeol, obvious by her eyes that followed where Jongyeol was going complete with her habitual sulk. At first, Chungwon is cool with that as he understood her feelings and how bad she must’ve tried to move on. But this time, he couldn’t hold it anymore.

The two headed for lunch at a restaurant near the campus. While eating, Chungwon decided to talk to Eunjae.

Chungwon: Eunjae-ya… you still haven’t moved on from him?

Eunjae being Eunjae, her eyes expanded in shock.

Eunjae: …what?

Chungwon: The guy who’s in your class. Your ex. You haven’t moved on from him?

After much hesitation, Eunjae continued.

Eunjae: Yes… I’m so sorry… I’m not supposed to do this, but I just can’t seem to forget about him :’(

Chungwon: No… it’s okay. We all go through that process. To be honest, I also experienced the similar things as you are now.

Hearing that, Eunjae’s expression turned curious.

Chungwon: I met her during uni orientation and from there, we dated. But it only lasted for 7 months. She felt that her feelings for me was simply an infatuation from the start, so she dumped me. To be honest, even though I might seem tough, as a guy, I was hurt too. I did so many memorable things with her, and for one month since the breakup, I couldn’t concentrate at all, I even get scolded by Sungmin-hyung countless times because I lost focus. But you know what?

Chungwon’s question made Eunjae even more curious.

Chungwon: I finally learnt that it’s impossible for me and her to start all over again, because we’re just not meant to be anymore. When Jiwon-sunbae told me to go on a blind date with you that time, I was actually still recovering from the breakup. I wanted to meet other people and do normal things again.

This statement made Eunjae a little surprised.

Eunjae: Gosh, so that’s what happened? I was moving on from my ex too at the time. I’m sorry if I was being rude or weird at any point.

Chungwon: Oh, it’s fine. You didn’t do anything wrong. I actually found you cute. I never met anyone who’s as honest as you were. So when you suddenly appeared at the university newspaper office, I was surprised and happy that you came.

At that moment, Eunjae’s mind suddenly stopped thinking about Jongyeol, and realized just how patient and nice Chungwon is for the past few months. She thought, maybe it’s God’s will that Chungwon is there for her.

Long story short, Eunjae and Chungwon got together in the end. On New Year day. And yeah, she got her New Year’s kiss with Chungwon. He’s always there for her and he’s been the best companion in many things. He’s not pushy about fulfilling his sexual desires. From Eunjae’s experience, she thought that’s the best a guy can assure her about.

Eunjae’s New Year’s first kiss ended with Chungwon as the mass countdown event and the fireworks ended. Chungwon held Eunjae’s small hand, and took her away.

Eunjae was already in front of an open door to an apartment. She stepped in, guided by Chungwon who walked backwards, gazing at Eunjae’s charming eyes.

Flashforward - Truth or Dare

Eunjae: Well… (She grinned). I’d say… almost?

Everyone (Jiwon’s voice was the loudest): MWOYA!!! I thought you said you picked truth. So tell us the truth!

Flashback - New Year’s

The door behind Eunjae automatically closed and locked itself, while the two headed towards the double bed that’s positioned at the end of the small studio apartment, making out. The kiss got deeper and rougher, but as they reached the climax, Eunjae suddenly pulled herself back, trying to catch her breath while she sat on Chungwon.

Chungwon: Are you okay?

Eunjae hesitated for a while…

Eunjae: I’m okay, but…

Before she could finish her words, Chungwon continued-

Chungwon: It’s okay, Eunjae-ya… We don’t have to go that far if you don’t want to. Take your time. It’s not your body that I want. I truly love you for who you are.

Eunjae: Oppa…

Right at that moment, the two gazed at each other for 5 seconds, before Eunjae moved to cuddle beside him and kissed him once more. This time, as softly as she could, fully expressing her gratitude and affection for her boyfriend, whom she promised to grow together with. The two slept soundly on the same bed as the time read: 3 a.m.

Flashforward - Truth or Dare

Jiwon: Ya! It was so close! How did you hold it in???

Yina: Sshhh! It’s just her. Not everyone can do it easily for the first time.

Jiwon: Aish, it’s so nice that you all have had boyfriends, what about me? I haven’t even kissed anyone ever… If I did, I think that’s with my golden retriever who already died when I was in 6th grade.

Jinmyung, being the oldest of the girls, contributed her two-cents.

Jinmyung: Jiwon-ah, the time will come. Just be a bit more patient. I’m sure God has set a soulmate out there for you.

Eun: ayyyy, It’s so obvious that you and Chef Park are having so much fun together ;D

Just like that, the girls kept laughing and teased each other until as the time ticked and the night became darker.

11th February 2018 – Belle Epoque (2 days later)

It’s Sunday morning and everyone was starting their day lazily.

Jiwon walked outside her room while yawning and stretching her arms, finding Yeeun who’s already sitting down on the dining table holding her pink phone on her right ear, smiling cheek to cheek.

On the phone…

Yeeun: So, what are we planning to do on Valentine’s day this year? Ah, really? You don’t want to tell me? Is it a surprise?

Yeeun kept smiling. This time, she curled the strands of her long hair with her fingers.

Yeeun: Arasseo, I’ll wait. Eung… Love you. See you later!

Seeing how happy Yeeun looked made Jiwon feel empty.

Jiwon: It’s nice that you have a boyfriend. You have so many fun things to do. Meanwhile, I’m single and have to go back and forth to meet with Teacher Han’s victims to discuss the case.

Jiwon walked past Yeeun towards the bathroom.

Jiwon: I’ll do my morning business first!

Yeeun: Ya! There’s no need to tell me that!

Just then, the toilet door closed. Eunjae then came out of her room.

Eunjae: Yeeun-sunbae, are you excited for today?

Yeeun: Of course! It’s my first time having a double-date XD. So how? Did Chungwon say he can go?

Eunjae: Of course, he just called me.

Yeeun: Arasseo, Let’s get ready!

Eunjae: Ok ^.^

Eun then came out of her room, with a gloomy face. She headed straight to the sofa, staring blankly at her phone. Noticing what’s happening, Yeeun initiated to ask what’s happening.

Yeeun: Eun-ah, what’s with your mood? Did something happen?

Eun just stayed still, still looking at her locked screen phone. Yeeun and Eunjae approached her and tried to get something out of her. Suddenly, Eun burst out crying. Jiwon and Yoon-sunbae simultaneously came out from the bathroom and bedroom to approach the girls.

Jinmyung: Eun-ah, what happened?

Jinmyung gave the others the look – trying to ask if anyone had any idea of what happened. Yeeun and Eunjae shook their heads lightly as a response that they don’t know. Being clueless as she always had been,

Jiwon blurted: Is it because of your man who’s in the army? Why? He hasn’t called you yet? How long has it been?

As soon as Jiwon finished her bombardment of questions, the other girls finally grasped the situation. Eun finally opened her mouth.

Eun: A week. He hasn’t called me for a week. I miss him so much. I really don’t know how to handle this. It’s been almost 5 months since we dated and since he enlisted. We haven’t even spent that much time together, but he left me here to serve the military. I know he can’t always have the privilege to call. I even heard some soldiers had to prove themselves every week to make a single phone call. It’s been a week now, and I’m so worried that something might have happened :’(

Hearing Eun’s story while she sobbed made the hearts of the girls sink deep. They gave Eun a group hug.

Jinmyung: It’s alright… he should be okay.

11th February 2018 – Military Training Ground

A group of soldiers gathered at a field. A few soldiers were lined up in front.

Janghoon: PRIVATE SEO-JANG-HOON

Army Senior: Private Seo Janghoon, you’ve shown an incredible result in the military training. As a result, you will be promoted as an assistant sergeant of the platoon and will be granted a 5-day off holiday period. During that period of time, you can go back home and spend time outside the base, but be reminded that you have to report back no later than 15.00 hrs on 18 February. If you fail to do so, you will see what happens.

Janghoon: PRIVATE SEO-JANG-HOON ACCEPTS THE COMMAND GIVEN! SALUTE! *smiles cheek to cheek*, looking excited and happy.

11th February – Seoul Café

Back in Seoul, Chungwon and Hochang apparently have arrived at the café where they’re supposed to meet at for the double date. The atmosphere between the two guys were so awkward, but Chungwon opened the conversation first.

Chungwon: Which year and major are you in?

Hochang: I enrolled in 2015, this is my 2nd year. I’m majoring in Software engineering. You?

Chungwon: oh, you’re a year ahead of me. I’m a 2016 student, majoring in journalism.

Hochang: Ah, arasseo. So you’re my junior?

Chungwon: Yes…

Just when their conversion was about to turn awkward all over again, Yeeyun and Eunjae arrived. Both boys raised from their seats as they smiled to welcome their girlfriends. The boys sat next to each other, facing the girls.

Yeeun: Have you guys waited a long time?

Hochang: No, we came not long ago too.

Eunjae: Ah Yeeun-sunbae, this is Chungwon, oppa, this is Yeeun-sunbae.

Both Yeeun and Chungwon exchanged their greetings. To break the silence, the boys asked what they wanted to order at the same time, and the four people laughed the scene. In the end, the boys went to order together. Those two couples looked happy as their first double date with an awkward start turned out to be a fun date after all.

12th February 2018 – University Newspaper Office

Jiwon is back, investigating Teacher Han’s sexual assault case. Since her hoobaes are helping her out to find information for the past 5 months, she felt more relieved. But she couldn’t help the fact that the case still scared her to death.

As Jiwon sat in the meeting room, Sungmin who just arrived at the venue walked towards Jiwon and tapped her shoulder.

Sungmin: Let’s go.

Jiwon who was zoning out, worrying about the case, switched her expression instantly and replied:

Jiwon: let’s go let’s go!’

In the car, Sungmin looked at Jiwon who was zoning out on the passenger’s seat.

Sungmin: Are you okay?

Jiwon: *sighs* No, I’m not okay. I’ve been dealing with this case for over 5 months now, and even if more and more victims have emerged, which increases the chance of conviction, I feel even more scared. But it’s going to go well, won’t it?

Sungmin: We’ve got a lawyer and a team of prosecutor who are helpful towards this case, and don’t you realize the kids back at the uni are all helping us to find all relevant information? You don’t need to worry, because there are so many people backing us up. Where’s the Song Jiwon who’s always full of spirit?

Jiwon: You’re right. I don’t have to be scared.

At the lawyer’s office…

Lawyer Jo Eunhee: Oh, you two came together again…

Eunhee tried to confirm whether Jiwon and Sungmin are dating or not

Jiwon: ahh HAHAHAH of course we came together, he’s my servant.

As Jiwon uttered the word ‘servant’, Sungmin stared at Jiwon in disbelief and stayed quiet as he always does.

The meeting started and the lawyer, Jiwon and Sungmin discussed about the case.

Jo Eunhee: Compared to our first trial in October, I think we can be 99% sure that Mr. Han will be convicted at tomorrow’s hearing.

Those words of assurance coming from the lawyer’s mouth made Jiwon’s expression full of hope and light again.

Jiwon: really? O.O

Eunhee: Yes, you know I never bluff to my clients. From the meetings that I previously had with the witnesses, I can really assure you that we now have enough evidence to charge Mr. Han as a sexual assault offender. Jiwon-ah, the reason why I called you here is because we just got a lead from the prosecutor’s office.

Jiwon and Sungmin looked at each other in reflex, with their eyes goggling like never before.

Jiwon: What kind of evidence?

Eunhee: A voice recording.

Jiwon and Sungmin who were already taken aback by the fact that there’s a substantial evidence found, were even more startled upon hearing the emergence of a voice recording evidence.

Eunhee: So, after a thorough investigation, the prosecutors found out that Mr. Han actually has a wife, but she’s in the hospital now. Dementia. You can probably guess what happened.

13th February 2018 – Court

This time, Jiwon is not going in as a plaintiff, but rather as a spectator in the court room, as the charges are now coming from the prosecutors.

The time read 9.53 a.m., at 10 a.m. sharp, the final trial will start, where the verdict will be announced by the judge at the end. The Belle Epoque girls including Kang-eonni is there. Yoon-sunbae also took a leave from the office, so she could join the final hearing as well.

Of course, we can’t leave out Sungmin who’s apparently always beside Jiwon at every important occasion.

Sungmin stood at the side while the girls gathered to give the final support to Jiwon. They’re all aware of how hard she had been working for the case. Sungmin knew all the girls already, but he’s not very familiar with Kang-eonni as it’s his first time meeting her.

Yina: Jiwon-ah, he’s your friend?

Jiwon: Yeah, he’s from the same newspaper club

Yina: ani, that’s not what I meant. Why didn’t you tell me you have a guy friend like that?

When Kang-eonni blurted that question out, the other girls stayed quiet but at the same time curious because Jiwon clearly always complained about not having a single guy in her life, while in reality, she does. A loyal one at that.

Jiwon: Well, I don’t see why I have to talk about him. showing her straight out ignorance.

Upon hearing her answer, the girls sighed all at the same time. Suddenly, Sungmin poked Jiwon’s shoulders with his two fingers.

Sungmin: Hey, it’s time….

As the squad entered the court room, Sungmin sat beside Jiwon and stared at her, who looked as worried as ever. He really wanted to hug and assure her that it will be alright, but he held it in.

Kang-eonni who’s known for her quick-wittedness on relationships, caught on the situation right away.

The audience, prosecutor as well as Mr. Han and his lawyer were seated on the designated spaces. The court room door behind the audience closed as the judges proceeded to the Bench. The hearing started right after the attendees raised to respect the judges.

Judge: Prosecutor-in-charge, you may read out the opening statement.

Prosecutor Jung Jaechan:

Today, on 13th February 2018, we’re holding the final hearing on Mr. Han Gwanyoung’s case.

His crime is having committed repeated sexual assault towards his female students when he worked as an Art Teacher in several institutions à primary school, junior high school, and senior high school.

A total of 4 victims have come up to the prosecutors’ office and they all have suffered from long-term depressions as a result of sexual trauma caused by the offense initiated by the defendant.

At the time when the sexual violence took place, the victims’ age varied. They were 9, 13, 15 and 17 years old. Therefore, the Act on Special Cases Concerning the Punishment of Sexual Crimes as well as the Act on the Protection of Children and Juveniles from Sexual Abuse will constitute the charges pressed upon the defendant.

Continuing from that, the prosecution will be charging the defendant for life-imprisonment. In addition, he will be liable to pay a total of ₩30 Million in compensation towards the victims’ rehabilitation programs.

That’s all.

As the judge acknowledged the opening statement, witnesses (victims) came out one by one to provide their accounts. Despite constant denial and objections raised by the defendant’s spokesperson, the court seemed to lean more towards the prosecutors.

All 4 witnesses are done with their testimonies, and several evidences have been presented to the Judge.

Judge: Prosecutor-in-charge, is there any final evidence you would like to submit?

Jaechan: Yes, your honor. There is.

Judge: What is it?

Jaechan: It’s a voice recording containing the defendant’s voice at the time his crime was committed.

The crowd showed their disbelief and disgust as Jaechan explain what the recording was about, until the judge had to hit the gavel multiple times on the sound block to maintain the court’s order.

Judge: and how exactly was the evidence obtained?

Flashback

Jaechan went through a background check on Han Gwanyoung. He noticed something off. Han Gwanyoung’s wife is clearly listed on the family registry, and there’s no record of her death, but how come she has never been spotted anywhere near Han Gwanyoung?

Having the curiosity to dig more into the information, Jaechan finally found Mr. Han’s wife. She’s apparently been admitted to a local hospital to receive treatment there for dementia.

With a special warrant, Jaechan’s able to get access to personally question the wife.

As he stepped into a VIP-room with a name slot that read ‘Kim Haesook’, he saw an old lady with greyish-white hair resting just over her shoulder. She seemed like she’s in her late 60s.

While the lady sat down on her bed while looking outside the room’s window, Jaechan sat on a chair next to the patient’s bed.

Jaechan: Kim Haesook-ssi?

There was no reply, so Jaechan tried one more time.

Jaechan: Kim Haesook-ssi, do you know that your husband is being investigated for sexual assault on the underage?

As Jaechan went straight to the point, Kim Haesook finally gave him some attention.

Haesook: Jerk.

Jaechan: I’m sorry, what did you say?

Haesook: That scumbag deserves that.

Jaechan: Kim-Haesook-ssi can you explain what you meant by that?

Without saying a single word, Haesook reached out to her old-fashhioned phone on the side of her hospital bed. She clicked some buttons on it and handed the phone over to Jaechan.

When Jaechan saw the screen, it showed ‘Voice_Recording_002’ with the date and time stamp ’08 June 2009, 15:54 p.m.’

Jaechan played the file, and closed his eyes as he couldn’t stand hearing the cries of a girl who pleaded Mr. Han to ‘stop’. The recording continued as Mr. Han repeatedly said ‘it’s okay, it’s not gonna hurt’ to the young girl. However, a few moments later, a helpless scream echoed from the recording, and Jaechan who couldn’t stand hearing it, pushed the stop button right away.

Flashforward - Court’s room

Judge: ‘The court is adjourned.’ as the judge hit the gavel thrice on the sound block.

Jiwon and the squad exited the premise. She was quiet the whole time until she arrived at the lobby. Sungmin was beside her while the Belle Epoque girls followed the two behind.

Jiwon stopped, and suddenly covered her face. Sungmin thought to himself ‘Is she crying?’ Looking at Jiwon’s gesture made his suppressed feeling burst. For the first time ever, he reached out both his arms to hug Jiwon tightly, Cupping Jiwon’s tiny frame on his chest, while Jiwon released her tears.

Jiwon is thankful that her debt towards Moon Hyojin has now been paid in full.

The Belle Epoque girls felt both sympathetic and happy at the same time. Sympathetic because Jiwon rarely cried in front of them, and happy because of the sight they’re seeing now – Jiwon being hugged by her loyal ‘servant’. The girls looked at each other smiling, as they admired the two human beings in front of them.

Jiwon has been crying for a while, and she finally let herself out of Sungmin’s embrace and turned back to convey her gratitude to the housemates.

Jiwon: Girls, thank you so much for being here with me today. I know you all are actually busy with college and work, but the fact that you came here just to accompany me to the trial is something I never imagined.

Hearing Jiwon said those heart-felt statement for the first time, the housemates approached Jiwon to give her an affectionate group hug.

Yina: Jiwon-ah, we’ll go first, okay?

Jiwon: Sungmin-ah, how many people-

Yina: aay, stop iti! I have a car and I’ll take care of it. Guys, let’s go! Uhm… Sungmin-ssi, please take care of Jiwon, okay?

Sungmin who couldn’t say no, slightly bowed his head in acceptance of Kang-eonni’s request. He and Jiwon watched as the girls left the lobby.

Sungmin: Let’s go.

Jiwon: Hmm…

Just like that, the two went back together, while the girls rode on Kang-eonnis car, in fear.

In the basement as the Belle Epoque squad headed towards Yina’s car.

Eunjae: You saw it right? Jiwon-sunbae and her friend.

Everyone nodded.

Yina: I saw it. The guy totally likes her. I mean, how can Jiwon not notice? Don’t you guys think it’s obvious?

Jinmyung: That’s actually true. From my point of view, I think Jiwon is the only one who’s not aware of this situation. What should we do?

Yina: What do you mean what should we do? Don’t worry, Kang Yina is always available for LOVE-911.

Yeeun: Wah, I really can’t wait until they get together. Will my joke come true? Remember when I said your servant will be your bae and your bae will be your hubby? What if it comes true?

Eun: If It comes true, I think Jiwon-sunbae will be the happiest person ever.

Eunjae: By the way, where are we going?

Yeeun: Kang-eonni, did you forget where you park the car?!

Jinmyung: Yina-ya, do you know how to drive????

Eun: What’s happening? What’s wrong with Kang-eonni’s driving?

As a response to all the girls’ questions, Kang-eonni could only grin.

Jiwon broke the silence between her and Sungmin.

‘Finally, it’s all over.’ Jiwon let go a huge sigh, symbolizing freedom and relief.

Seeing Jiwon who has regained her beautiful smile on her face, Sungmin smiled in disguise while focusing on the road ahead.

Unexpectedly, this time Jiwon realized Sungmin’s subtle smile and teased him.

Jiwon: ayyy, did you just smile?

Sungmin: What? No! are you hallucinating now?!

Jiwon: don’t lie! I saw it! I saw you smiling!

Sungmin: Ah, I don’t know! Be quiet! I wish I can have the quiet Jiwon back just before the trial.

Jiwon: Aigoo… what a lie. You said you wanted to see the cheerful me, didn’t you?

*Red Light*

Sungmin hit the brake upon seeing the red traffic light, and gulped as Jiwon caught him this time.

Jiwon: Sungmin-ah… Thank you.

Sungmin, who was focusing on what’s in front of him diverted his attention to Jiwon, as they both caught each other’s eyes.

*Green Light*

…

Sungmin got back to his senses as he heard the cars behind him honking, and realized that the traffic light had turned green for don’t know how long. He stepped on the car’s pedal and continued driving. This time, with his heart pounding like crazy.

Thanks for reading.

Read the next Chapter:

Chapter 2

#ssongsungmin #age of youth #age of youth 2 #age of youth season 2 #park eun bin #son seung won #im sungmin #song jiwon #fanfiction #kdrama #korean drama #jung jaechan #crossover fanfiction #the beginning of something unexpected

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kxrdej · 6 years

Text

A year in review of the guys I dated this year

First of all, I would like to thank my ex-boyfriend Shaun for ending our relationship because without him this post would not be possible. Hi Shaun wish you well sorry for accidentally changing your name to dickhead on messenger. I don’t have a good enough reason as to why I did that besides the fact I thought it was funny, and I forgot messenger notifies you when people are given nicknames *slowly dies from regret*. I don’t know why I’m doing this but I’m bored as fuck, tipsy and I don’t have any plans for NYE so fuck it. Here we go:

1. Nathan, you were my first ever date after I broke up with ex so I hope you feel fucking special. I would also like to apologise for sleeping with you on our first date. In all honesty I did not plan that all (maybe just a little bit) but I thought you would not actually like me at all so I just said to myself “meh, why not”. That hook up wasn’t that bad to be honest, wish it lasted longer (hehe) but I rate it. You were great at the start, and then you kept on making up excuses every fucking time I wanted to do something with you so I got the hint (even though you said you wanted to see me again but ok). I’m still a bit salty after you told me you were so busy one night and you said that you couldn't speak to me at all but as soon as I went online on League of Legends I saw you playing which kind of triggered me a bit. No hard feelings though, I still think I went on a date too early when I was still a few months fresh off a break up.

2. Ben, BEN…..BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNN!!! I honestly fucking think we would’ve been together if you stayed in Swansea after you graduated and if you didn’t leave for China. That coffee date is probably still one of my favourite dates I’ve ever been on. I know we still talk and shit and I tell you some of my problems over Snapchat even though you’re like a million fucking miles away from me but just come back to Swansea for fuck sake.

3. Okay I’m pretty sure it was George next (I think). Our date was nice, and we sort of clicked because we’re both basic Starbucks bitches. I don’t know who’s idea was it to go and have Jamaican food but that definitely was a good one. I think the highlight of that day was when the waiter thought I was chatting up a girl on my phone when he saw my screen when I was paying (lmao), and both of us just stared at each other like what the fuck is going on. We still talk from time to time, wish we could hang out more but you live in Bay now and I can’t be asked for that (jk).

4. Jon, I don’t know if we ever classed our date as either romantic or friendly but I’ll talk about you anyway. I miss you! You’re so funny even though you knew I couldn’t understand you sometimes (Birmingham accent for those of you who are wondering). Even though our date wasn’t necessarily going to lead to anything serious I still really had fun! That Mumbles date was 10/10. I can’t remember if we went on more dates but I know we “met up” a few times after that…..I definitely had a good time during them as well though! Haha.

5. Wahaca boy, I honestly can’t even remember your name because I only went on a date with you because I really wanted to find an excuse to eat at Wahaca. Sorry m8. You weren’t for me but you were nice just little bit too nice for my liking. (Edit - I REMEMBER HIS NAME WAS SIMEON)

6. For the sake of discretion, and I don’t want to disrespect you because you’re not out; I shall call you Nick. We didn’t really go on dates but we planned to after our fuck sessions. The reason why I placed you on this list is because we had a thing but it was complicated I get it. I just wished you weren’t such an utter fucking twat to me near the end like I should’ve listened when you told me to “stay away” from you every time you drunk texted me. Saying that, I would like to apologise for being a rude to you at the end too. The only reason why I was like that was because I wanted to get back at you. I don’t regret watching Guardian’s of The Galaxy 2 without you if I’m honest, and I know it made you upset after I did that. You kind of deserved that one. You didn’t have to block me on everything though you dickhead (lol). I don’t know if you’ll ever read this but I’d like you to know you’re still my best fuck ayye lmao.

7. Jason. Don’t say “I love you” on the first date.

8. Luke, we never went on a date but you clearly have some issues. We were speaking for at least 3 weeks and I felt like I was already going out with an over controlling piece of shit. You threw you’re fucking phone and broke it because you didn’t have signal when you we’re on the phone to me. I’m so fucking glad I confronted you at the end after you got mad at me for “being too tired” and not wanting to speak to you that night. Jesus Christ.

9. Owain, I know you knew as well that there was something missing during the few weeks we went on dates. I’m glad we managed to talk it out like adults and I’m happy you enjoyed the beach date I planned. Also, I know you told me to plan the same thing for another guy because it was good but you’ll be disappointed to hear I have yet to bring out the beach date after you.

10. Rob, I’m not even going to waste time on you. Bye bitch. If anyone is reading this and they’re on Swansea Grindr, if you ever meet a guy named Rob who had just came back from Australia PLEASE STAY AWAY.

11. Chris, the only thing we had in common was that Rob was dating you the same time he was dating me lmao. You were nice but you come off a bit too stuck up for me. Even though you said you wanted to be friends, I do not know why you gave me boring one worded answers on messenger every time I tried to talk to you. Are you just that boring when you’re replying? or are you just a twat?

12. Ryan, I really enjoyed our Las Iguanas date not gonna lie! I don’t know why you still spoke to me after I mistaken the jug of water as vodka (I know). Why did we stop speaking? You were great! Ryan if you ever get to read this I’d like you to know you are my type on paper but you said you fell asleep during the first episode of Game of Thrones and that you haven’t seen any Marvel films so you kind of killed yourself there (I’m kidding).

13. Rhys, or was it Rice? Reece? Daddy? Zaddy? I still hate you for moving to Mexico (I’m kidding). I’m sorry, I know I looked really bad going on a date a few weeks after you left. Our dates were great. You’re great. I secretly wished you didn’t find a job for January but well done I’m proud of you senor. Thanks for introducing me to Drag Race. You basically turned me into basic gay queen and I appreciate that. Also, muchisimas gracias por tu tiempo. I haven’t used it on my dissertation supervisor yet but I will one day!

14. Last but not the least, Tom. I legitimately thought you were the one. Clearly I was wrong as I’m sat here during new year’s eve writing this cringe Tumblr post. I really do want you to know I’m not mad at you, and that I understand completely as to why you broke it off. You made made my whole December. We genuinely got along so well. You’re the first person that’s ever convinced me in 9 years to go ice skating again so you were pretty fucking special to me. I still feel bad that you paid for most of our dates but I really really appreciated it when you did. Also, I know you secretly hated when I’d surprise pay for some our dates ;). I just wished you communicated with me more, you know, during that week.I know you said you wanted to keep in touch but it’ll probably take me awhile to talk you again. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t miss you because I do. For some reason, this affected me more than when my ex’s broke up with me (sorry Shaun, and Cory). If you do read this, you can keep using my Spotify.

I probably had some really shit grammar during some of those but I never claimed to be good at writing. Also, I’ve had a few drinks before writing this so my head is a bit fuzzy. Also, don’t take this seriously I appreciate every one of the guys I’ve met this year even though a few of you are scum. If I missed out someone then most likely the date was forgettable. Sorry!

Happy new year bitches! Here’s to a single, career driven, no time for men because I can live without one (for the mean time) 2018.

(Edit - So I’m reading this again on new year’s day, back to my senses, no longer drinking 2 cups of Prosecco every 10 minutes, and I’m clearly noticing a lot of grammatical errors, typos, missing words etc. (SORRY ABOUT THAT). I made a few small changes to some of them to make it flow a bit better. I don’t really know why half-tipsy me addressed the whole thing to them rather than in third person but I guessed I wanted closure since half of you I ghosted, or I got ghosted. Also, for those of you who really know me you guys know I’m an intimate person.

Anyway, I just wanted to say if you’re going through the same thing as I am and you’re in this cycle of non-stop dating, meeting, sleeping with guys or girls until you find the one and you’re struggling at it. Look I honestly get it. It’s fucking TOUGH AS SHIT. If only everything was as simple as ‘Hang the DJ’ (my favourite ever Black Mirror episode btw I cried a few times because relatable). It’s really not the end of world, and I know its lonely to be alone (unless you like you’re own company like me 90% of the time) but we’ll eventually find that person. It hurts you know that gut sinking feeling you get every time that new person decides to break it off, and you’re just sat there like “here we fucking go again back to square fucking one”. If you guys get me haha. If you’ve experienced the same thing or you’re going through a similar thing right now, I can’t give you good enough advice on how to get rid of it because you can’t unless you’re a robot or you’ve mastered the art of getting rid of feelings (teach me pls if you can). It’s all on time I guess. These guys/girls that you meet or go on dates with that decide to break it off with you after a few weeks. They’re just obstacles that you shouldn’t stress upon. I know everyone has gone through the same cycle of looking at your phone, checking their log in times, last active, snapchat location during or even after they’re dating that person (Hi Tom) but stop you’re doing nothing else besides hurting yourself. If you think that person is toying with you at the end then they’re not worth it. These people who just jump and jump on girls or guys, and just speaking to them just to sleep with them, or because they have nothing else to do besides adding you to their trophies, they’re not worth it. Stay away from dating apps (As I swipe through Tinder) they can be toxic (Grindr). Meet someone in real life. It’s hard but probably its better I don’t know. It’s hard to meet guys irl if you’re gay (lol). So if you’re going through the same thing as I am just hang in there, and be patient. It’s okay to feel shitty because I do but its okay we’ll get through. That anxiety you get of feeling unwanted I get it. Dan Harmon, the guy who made Rick and Morty, said some pretty good advice the past week. He said “Feelings are real, but they’re not reality”. Focus on YOURSELF. Give yourself the time, effort, and attention you deserve. The best relief to all of this for me was spending time with my friends, and talking to them. So I advice you to do that too or eat. Eating is good.)

Also, if anyone is interested in what went down between me, Rob, and Chris. I’ll maybe write another post if people are interested.

#newyear #2018 #lgbt #lgbtq #gay #relationship #advice #dating

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chaos-and-recover · 7 years

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I get all the odd numbers, you get all the even numbers!

OKAY.

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

lol I’ve barely talked to anyone today, Sundays are for being a hermit.

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

In the sense that I probably trust a little too easily sometimes, maybe.

6. What are you excited for?

Pretty much everything I’m excited about right now is concert related because that’s just how I roll.

I’m going to Chicago in December for a show

I’m seeing my babies July Talk 3 nights in a row at the end of the month which is gonna be rad

I’m also pretty excited for Toronto FC’s playoff run coming up, I’m hoping for good things from them after last year’s let down. C’mon.

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

Lol this question focusing on girls is... interesting. Like, it’s no more gross/annoying than when dudes do it. I’m also not about to generalize, especially as someone who drinks and has gotten “really wasted” and was probably SUPER ANNOYING. It’s not disgusting, just don’t be an asshole about it. Sometimes it makes for really funny stories after too.

10. What is the last beverage you had?

I have a glass of water beside me right now, so.

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

I own several pairs of skinny jeans.

14. What are you going to spend money on next?

If I’m being honest it’s probably gonna be poutine and beer at the TFC game tonight lol.

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

In small ways, sure. I don’t know about any major changes, but you never know.

18. The last time you felt broken?

Luckily it’s been quite a while, depending on the context you mean. I mean, physically broken like... last week (or possibly right now since my old lady gimp knee is acting up lol). But mentally/emotionally? I’ve had a good run lately. Knock on wood.

20. Are you starting to realize anything?

A couple things, but we’re gonna put a pin in those for later lol.

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

I’m weird about salt water but if I got over that nonsense then yeah. They’re mostly harmless. Last time I went to the aquarium I learned why the ones there don’t eat the other fish in the tanks, and how the other fish get super tense when it’s close to feeding time and the sharks ARE hungry and it was kinda cool, so I’d be fine with them.

Plus they eat other fish and fish are evil, so.

24. What do you want right this second?

More coffee.

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

Not exactly, but it’s close. Close enough I’m not worried about touching up the roots yet. It’s like a brighter version of my natural colour. It’s close to what my natural colour was when I was little before it got dark and boring.

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

I actually legitimately laughed at a few things while watching the new Will & Grace last night.

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

Everyone, nah, but probably more people than tend to get them.

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

I mean, I don’t think I’m that subtle but he’s an idiot sometimes so probably not lol.

34. Listening to?

An A&W commercial right now.

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

Like... in general, yes, but specifically, that’d be a bit weird, wouldn’t it?

38. Who did you last call?

My dad, last night. I don’t call people ever.

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

Because I was drunk. But it was a good kiss, so.42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

44. Do you tan in the nude?

I don’t tan, period. The sun and my pale-ass skin don’t get along. I’m very sunburny.

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

No.

48. Do you sing in the shower?

Not if anyone is home to hear me.

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

When I was little, my Opa made my brother and I bow and arrow sets. There were no points on the arrows because he may have been ok making us weapons to play with but he still knew we would use them to shoot each other exclusively, but still.

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

NO SHUT UP I LOVE MUSICALS.

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

Yes. They’re delicious.

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

I wanted to be a lawyer for like a hot minute when I was 10.

Lol.58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

Yes

60. Wear slippers?

Nah. I’m all about the bare feet when I’m in the house.62. What do you wear to bed?

Some version of track pants/pajama pants and an oversized band shirt, with a hoodie if it’s cold.64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

Target. It failed miserably in Canada and I miss it terribly.

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

I kinda don’t like either but Cheetos I guess.

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

I went from really hating her to liking her for a hot minute to being... exhausted by her but listen, Out Of The Woods is a JAM.

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

Nah. Not a specific one.

72. Ever won a spelling bee?

No. I’m still not convinced those are a real thing outside of movies that need them for a plot device or something.74. What is your favorite book?

House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski

The Angel Riots by Ibi Kaslik

76. Regularly burn incense?

Nope

78. Who would you like to see in concert?

I think I’ve seen almost everyone I’ve ever really wanted to see, actually. There are a couple of bands who have broken up I would love to see live again, but...

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

Cold tea? Nah. Iced tea? Hell yeah.

82. Favorite type of cookie?

Chocolate chip. Home made ones.

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

Yes.86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

DJ. Unless I can get like... certain well known bands, because that’d be cool.

88. Ever have plastic surgery?

No.

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

I’m pro-you-do-you and let’s be honest, most pressure not to have sex before marriage is put on girls and that is straight bullshit. Plus there is nothing that is not ULTRA CREEPY about having like 9 year old girls pledge their “purity” to their fathers, WHICH IS A REAL THING THAT HAPPENS. But I mean outside of that extreme, if you don’t wanna have sex before marriage then don’t, but if sex is gonna be part of your relationship I think it’s important to know if you’re sexually compatible before committing.

92. Do you want to get married

I haven’t ruled it out but it’s not a priority.

#nikkihorrorxx

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basshouse · 5 years

Text

Bring on the FAQs

I know you have questions! Oh, ok, I’ll honor the era of the fact check (be the change you want to see int he world, after all!): I think you have questions and I know I want to use questions as a framework for telling you more about my life. On board?? In case your answer is “no” and you choose not to click “keep reading” below, here’s the obligatory picture right up front:

That’s me in San Jose a couple days ago. Yes, I have a “bum bag” (super apologies to everyone I ever mocked for a fanny pack, a sweatpant, or a mini van, and a reminder to us all that it’s ridiculous to judge people for the things they decide enhance their quality of life...are heavily starched jeans in my future? who can say?). Also, yes I am on the North American continent. Sadly not with enough time or planning to be able to connect with many people, plus it’s a work trip and I’m freezing by balls off. More on that later (the work part, not my balls). Let’s get to the Q&A!

A bit of a heads up: a lot of these are combo questions, I grouped them by flavor to make things more compact... you bunch are good at asking the same question multiple ways.

1. Do you miss home/Seattle/the States? What do you miss the most?

Alright, I’m going to leave out the obvious friends, family and a certain tiny dog, because...duh. Do you really need the validation? You know I miss you. As for P-dog, he was IN A WEDDING. IN A BOWTIE. So suffice it to say that while I still get sad when I get in bed at night and he’s not curling up at my feet, his new family is showing their commitment to him in a whole new and completely adorable way.

I do not actively miss living in Seattle or the States. I haven't been homesick. and to be clear, Seattle is an amazing place and our lives there were full of amazing people and things. It’s just that I am enjoying being somewhere else and doing new things (and many of the old things in a new location). I can love Seattle (and you!) and love somewhere else at the same time, how amazing is that? One good thing about being faced with losing my job and visa was that I had to ask and answer the question of whether it was best to just “go home” -- and it was clear for both me and Jason that we did not want to leave Christchurch yet. No, we did NOT ask the kids this time :-).

I DO miss some things about living in Seattle, and if you know me you won't be surprised to hear they are largely food related...La Palma. Pickles. Gardenburgers. Caesar salads that don’t have a poached egg on top. The ability to fulfill a special order (say, make a Caesar salad without an egg on top). Jale-frickin’-penos! It’s not to say that NZ doesn't have good food; overall the quality of the food is high and it’s nice that all the coffee shops serve real food. Also, you almost never have table service, which threw me off at first, but now I really appreciate being in control of when I order and when I pay my bill. A non-tip economy has its perks for sure, including less math at the dinner table! But there are some foods for each of us that fulfill a craving, are a go-to, and when you can’t get them, even a close approximation or a really good option just won’t do. This problemhas inspired me to learn how to cook new things, at least. Haven’t nailed the gardenburger yet.

Also, I miss yoga. A LOT. Props to Core Power, Shefa, Haute, and Maven for being awesome places to practice a powerful flow in the heat with music. Thanks to all of you who taught me and those that let me teach you. Christchurch has more bars and restaurants and interesting places than we expected, but this style of yoga just isn't there as far as I can tell. So hit me up if you're interested in investing in a probably-not-very-profitable business in NZ once I have a visa that lets me own a business, and you can weigh in on whether “Surfing Donkey Yoga” (Jason’s nomination) is on brand or not. I have an opinion but no harm in workshopping it.

2. Wait, you said in an earlier blog you don't overwork (or sometimes even work at all when you should be)...what do you do/are you going crazy/how do you handle it/are you really you?!?!?

This is an honest question I have gotten in phone conversations, and since I assume you know me and my, um, rather industrious ways, you may have it too. I mean, it’s not a secret that when I lived in Seattle I worked A LOT, and stressed over work A LOT, and talked about work A LOT, and did work-y things outside of work, and worked at home and on the weekends FAR TOO MUCH. And for background: in New Zealand I have had a much better work life balance. And at the end of my time at SLI there were many many hours that I went to work but did not really have work to do. So while I have done what I needed to do, and contributed to the business, and used my skills, working and being at work has NOT defined my life here, even in the slightest, which it did in Seattle. That pains me a little, because I also did lots of of things besides work in Seattle, and I never valued being a person who was stressed about work all the time (at least, I did not value that for other people or in principal, though I did build up some kind of addiction or compulsion based on an anxiety about not working). Can I attribute being ok with more balance to a “less demanding” job? In part that would be fair, but after giving it some thought I also must attribute it to both breaking the chain of bad habits and the general difference in culture, For, as far as I can tell, in New Zealand, it is not common to work outside hours or on vacation; people value value and respect family time; and there's a much more subtle and prevalent difference that's hard to explain about the feeling that everything really is going to be ok if you don't struggle to get it all done in record time -- there’s an undercurrent of pressure that does not exist, at least not for me, and I think it’s a Kiwi thing. An informal poll and some observational data (e.g. one boss told me when I sent an email on a sick day not to do it again, no laptop, employment contract stating a 37 hour work week) backs it up.

So what do I do and am I still me and not going crazy? Well, I’ll tell you and yes and no to those questions. Let’s be clear that I still work 37-40 hours a week which is plenty so don't get too exited, but here’s a wee list of some of the things I’ve been doing with “all this time.” Sadly not enough yoga :-(

I write a blog! You're welcome.

Cook, surf, hike, bike, gym, listen to records...I think you knew that already. Same shit, different continent.

Burlesquercize! Yes, it’s what it sounds like -- a sluttier version of Jazzercise. My friend Tas and I also did a 6 week burlesque course that culminated in an actual performance. On stage. In. Front. Of. Real. People. Body positive, pro-female and anti-agist? You betcha. Terrifying? Kind of. Entertaining? I hope so. And no, we did not take our clothes off (that would have moved the answer to “terrifying?” waaaaay up).

Tennis lessons! Finally fulfilling a desire to learn and play tennis that I have had my entire adult life, I joined an adult beginner group lesson at the tiny Opawa Tennis Club. Really, in American terms, this should be “club” -- because like the lawn bowling club and croquet club near my house, this is the kind of club that where pay $100 bucks to get a key so you have access to equipment and courts when you need them, and there are organized games and lessons a few hours a week. Plus a water fountain. Croquet might be my next project, as I am still as shockingly bad at tennis as I was in junior high when I got moved from the 8th grade beginner team down to the elementary school group at a “real tennis club.” But learning tennis is fun, and I have met some great people, and hey, it’s summer in December so why not?

I grew tomatoes. It didn’t take that much time, so I could still do tennis and burlesque, thank god.

I make pickles like twice a month. In NZ, pickles are almost exclusively sweet gherkins. Most of you are probably like “making pickles is super easy, der.” You're right. I don’t know why I ever paid for them...oh except they were pretty cheap and super convenient to buy pretty much anywhere. It’s remarkable how scarcity, a bit of dill and a head of garlic can drive such commitment to a new activity. Now if I only had a goddamn Gardenburger to eat with my pickle slices!

On a career path note, I became a volunteer city coordinator for Product School meetups and am working to get that off the ground. I am mulling over ideas about generating and delivering content and education in the product management space...there may be a great opportunity to leverage my skill set and breadth of professional experience in NZ and I’m doing some activities that will help me network and consider the possibilities.

I have read more books since we moved than I think I read in the last 10 years. I do miss the New Yorker, I think I could finally be crushing the cover to cover in a week challenge. If you haven't read This is Where I Leave You, you should.

TV: In the interest of transparency...I don't just read and write and exercise, and as much as I’d like to present as that virtuous, I can’t lie to you, even by omission. If you have not seen the Amazon TV show Red Oaks, I highly recommend it. Obviously the tennis montages have a new-found appeal for me, but the rest of it was really good too.

Roadtrips! There’s a lot to do around NZ, even within an hour or two of Christchurch. I’m trying to think of a good way to tell you about the things we have done, there will be more posts to highlight what we’ve done so far.

We hang out with friends, host guests, and sometimes try to make new friends. More on that in other posts as well.

Here’s another thing we did, which was attend an interactive improv-y game show at the Busker Festival...yes, I am realizing as I get ready to hit “publish” that it sorta seems like Jason and I are into a whole new realm of adult entertainment. 😱. We’re really not, not that there's anything wrong with it. I just thought you might appreciate this picture of Jason:

Next up in the blog: more FAQs. Political! Personal! Practical! See you soon.

PS: I don’t just cook with cheese...and these are my tomatoes:

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