#if this needs any other tags lemme know !! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr has been banned in Indonesia for providing people with access to pornographic content.

#if this needs any other tags lemme know !!

musiclover2732 · 7 months

Text

so i rewatched Dennis Takes a Mental Health Day and i decided to count how many times the word “system” is said. i counted fifteen (15) but there is a small chance that i double counted when he’s on the phone with Daisy cuz i got distracted. someone plz verify this number for me plz. if i double counted that one, then the number is fourteen (14) which would lead to a whole different post. but for now i’ll just talk about the prominence of “system” and not the number. it is said enough in the episode that we can assume it’s not just a coincidence and is certainly a callback to The D.E.N.N.I.S. System and the S.I.N.N.E.D. System. now Dennis’s systems for attracting both involve manipulation but they are very different and we can kinda see that reflected in his fantasy. he is very kind and understanding with the women he imagines. he apologizes frequently and tries to speak gently with them. most importantly he emphasizes how they are all victims of a system they did not create. he says this to the boba tea girl; they’re both victims of the system, specifically her, and he says that neither one of them created it. but he did create this imaginary system that she is the victim of in the same way he created the real D.E.N.N.I.S. System which women are victims of. and when Dennis does apply his system to get some girl just to torment and ultimately ditch her, we do feel bad for them and we do consider them victims of his system. by having Dennis apologize to this imaginary women for being victims of an uncontrollable system, this could be interpreted as him being aware that the way he treats women is shit and he feels guilty. he doesn’t go after any women in season 16. maybe he’s given up chasing women half his age but isn’t ready for women his age. i mean he’s gotten married and had a kid but neither of those normal domestic milestones kept him. he always goes back to the gang. then we have the S.I.N.N.E.D. System. it’s all about really building up and man then breaking him down into someone who’s just kinda putty in your hands. i mean there’s the obvious mommy issues/kink thing but ultimately it’s about reeling in and keeping a man long term. to use this system, you actually have to be interested in a man more than how the D.E.N.N.I.S. System just focuses on a single encounter and cutting ties completely. a man attracted by Dennis’ system isn’t a victim in this case. he is just a guy entering the dating phase of a relationship. the men Dennis encounters in his fantasy are similarly not treated like victims. Dennis is a little more annoyed with them specifically. he complains about the cop asking him to leave his car (a decision not enforced by a system but rather an individual), he gets very snappy with the phone store guy much more so than we see with the women employees, and of course he rips the CEO’s heart out. he does not feel bad for these men. men are not victims in his mind.

now if there were fourteen (14) instances of the word “system” being used in this episode i could make the obvious leap to Klinsky but for now this is all my brain could think of

#i feel like i’m just stating facts but it’s late rn #just wanted to get this out here cuz that ep makes me have Big Feelings and such #and i love to talk about dennis #i’m like one of those birds that gets a different egg in their nest and cares for that chick instead of its own chicks #yeah this is an anime blog but lemme tell you about my pathetic sopping wet son he was born in a cardboard box all alone #i have many thoughts on the other characters but this was at the surface of my mind cuz i just watched it #i had a different post in mind but this is slightly lighter #lemme know if i need to add any tw tags #dtamhd #dennis reynolds #it’s always sunny in philadelphia #iasip

31 notes · View notes

renrooked · 1 year

Text

i need to get this off my chest otherwise i'll explode but i am so unbelievably tired of the "older sibling who takes care of everyone" narrative

give me more youngest siblings who fill the oldest sibling stereotype, youngest siblings who mediate, who take care of everyone, who are reserved and more oldest siblings who are actively independent, who aren’t caretakers, who are stubborn, who are "the trouble makers"

every time i’m introduced to an eldest sibling and expected to respect them because the writer thinks it’s assumed that by making them the older sibling they were a selfless mini-adult who was forced to grow up in the family (and no one else) it takes so many years off my life

not every oldest sibling is going to be a parent figure with a sense of duty

not every oldest sibling shows they care openly/communicates well

not every oldest sibling is easy going

you can write well liked and relatable eldest siblings without making them a wise mini-adult

and their problems and struggles can extend past the side effects of being an oldest/older sibling

also, you can create a character that knows the burden of having to take care of someone without having to make them an older sibling at all!

and you can create younger siblings who aren’t selfish and sporadic. i promise, not every younger sibling is chaotic and causes a scene in order for their needs to be tended to

you can create a character that has the flaw of being brash and codependent without making them the youngest

not all younger siblings are wild and reckless

not all younger siblings are spoiled by their parents/put on pedestals

not all younger siblings are attention seeking

you can write flawed younger siblings without making them forever-children

personally my older sister never filled the whole “i’m meant to take care of you” role. she actively made it clear she didn’t want me around well into adulthood, and would often actively ignore any time i was hurt or upset to make a point for me not to bother her

and she near constantly got into arguments when we were younger that i had to mediate (mind you, she's 6 years older than me) and would make a habit of smacking me on the arm out of annoyance/frustration if i was doing something she didn't like

so sorry, but i just find it lazy a lot of the time when entire personalities are implied of "older sibling so obviously wise second parent and younger sibling so obviously messy selfish baby" and i don't think people realize how absolutely constant this dynamic is implied as an inherent fact in media

anyway, this is all probably doing nothing more than just revealing deep rooted familial trauma but i'm tired of being expected to just believe your oldest is the genuine kind hearted caretaker and youngest is the loose cannon, show me!

make me believe that it’s a natural progression of their personalities! why did the oldest decide to take on that role rather than reject it! what about their situation made the youngest feel the need to be so rebellious!

#literally the only media i've ever accepted this dynamic is arcane and supernatural #they're the only two i've watched and been like okay yeah this shit makes sense this checks out i believe it #everything else i'm just annoyed #it skips all the showing and any setup and starts right in the middle like well obviously we ended up here #no! no it's not obvious! what made y'all this way #what did yall go through. how did your parents raise you or not raise you. what made y'all feel like you needed each other #just one older sibling who is a piece of shit is that too much to ask in this economy god damn #anyways idk what to tag this now #rennie talks in tags #rennie rants #writing #sibling dynamics #familial relationships #if i miss any tags just lemme know and ill add them :D

292 notes · View notes

elibean · 1 year

Photo

Hello friends! I made a post a looong time ago about how back when the Noragami anime aired (the first season), in 2014, we did not have Yukine’s backstory like we have now; despite that, the scene we got in the anime where Yato named Yukine and received all his memories, was all relevant. That really amazed me; I know mangaka and writers plan this stuff in advance, but certainly not all of them, and it would have been easy enough to retcon or change things (and there are some scenes here that indicated things may have been changed).

So in appreciation and curiosity, I went back and screencapped all the brief scenes the anime gave us, to compare them with the corresponding manga panel/chapter. However, a tumblr picture post only allows 10 pictures and I ended up with 13, so I’m gonna pick the most interesting ones.

Not included here is the very first scene, which is of a cat looking back at the camera. Yukine has not been shown to have a cat in his past life, nor was there any indication of a cat in his family (at least as far as I can remember) so I’m gonna go ahead and comfortably put this in the “symbolism” camp, as it could be a stray cat or anything you want to interpret it as, really.

The second scene, also not pictured, was of luggage. This clearly relates to his sister and mother moving out. Again, when this aired back in 2014, we would have had no idea what this luggage could have related to!

The third scene, pictured, is more curious- two hands shaking. I don’t think it’s too far of a stretch to guess that the extended hand is their father’s-- but who’s the one reaching out to him? Yuka? Could this be the dad making a deal with her about keeping Haruki? But that’s not what happened, right, it was the other way around...Could be that the hand is actually Haruki’s. Unsure. Could correspond to volume 23, chapter 91, pictured below the anime shot.

Scene 4, pictured, is CLEARLY Yuka and mother leaving, with Yuka looking back. BACK IN 2014. WHEN WE KNEW NONE OF THIS, NOR WHO THEY WERE, ETC ETC.

Scene 5, not pictured, is just a pair of shoes on the ground. This could be anything; not quite sure what the symbolism is meant to be here.

Scene 6, also not pictured, is just Yukine huddled by himself facing a wall. Could be anything also, but more likely just him enduring his dad’s abuse.

Scene 7, also not pictured, is a broken mug on the ground, liquid spilled out of it. Could be a sign of the father breaking stuff in his anger.

Scene 8, pictured, is the letters- the letters!!!! Again completely relevant and traceable to the manga! Specifically it’s the dad stepping on the letters, which does not have a direct equivalent manga panel, but the one I put under it is pretty damn close, from volume 25, chapter 96.

Scene 9, pictured, is most curious. This is an arm, likely Yukine’s, with bandages surrounding it. This was likely meant to tie in to the reason his sword form has bandages, but it was never expanded upon (and I doubt it will be in the last few chapters we have lol). I do wonder what the intent was, though-- maybe a mark of his abuse by his dad. We’ll never know!

Scene 10, pictured, is a lot of empty cans of alcohol. Clearly related to his alcoholic dad (though I guess it was never confirmed he was ALCOHOLIC for certain, but definitely a heavy drinker lol). Again not a 1-to-1 manga panel correspondence, but a pretty close one came from volume 24, chapter 94.2!

Scene 11, not pictured, is a wallet with some money strewn around. Probably to symbolize the financial situation of the dad, which was to say, not great lol

And scenes 12 and 13, pictured, are likely Yuka turning back to look at Yukine, presumably-- though I do wonder. Given the tie and suit, I wonder if this was meant to be YUKINE/Haruki when he was alive (it does kind of look like him, doesn’t it?), or if Yuka was originally intended to be Yukine’s BROTHER, or something else. Could totally be wrong, could just be an old design of Yuka! I do wonder though.

Anyway I love Noragami. It’s great. This was a silly thing I wanted to do, but it was fun to dig through the screenshots and pause every second haha. I know the fandom has mixed opinions on the anime, but it’s what introduced me to the manga, and I still do really love it. And Bones put a lot of love into it. I really hope we get a season 3 someday (and so does Kaji Yuki, according to his tweets lol). Thanks for reading!

#text post #noragami #noragami spoilers #long post #tw: abuse #lemme know if you need any other tags or tws #the caps are from a website i know its bad but fwiw i do own a lot of noragami manga and stuff #likewise for the anime: i own both seasons on DVD so no worries there even though the caps are from a clip haha #my favorite asshole

91 notes · View notes

smokeys-house · 3 months

Text

I've had to do a lot of awful and gross things as a custodian at a middle school since I started working here but never did I think I would have to vacuum macaroni and cheese out of a urinal

#smokey talks #unsanitary #unsan #unsanitary tw #i know its unpleasant so if u need me 2 add any other tags lemme know #trust me it was unpleasant 4 me to have to go through

8 notes · View notes

selfindulgentfandomstuff · 4 months

Text

Still absolutely tripping balls rn bc my dad took me and my brothers to dinner last night and I told him I was trans and a guy and he was incredibly supportive and normal about it. Like, questions, but seemingly genuine, not accusatory at all.

I spent more time with him today so we could talk abt it a bit more and I could answer some questions. Idk I think he may actually rlly be making an effort to change and grow as a person and it’s rlly showing..

It’s rlly nice but it’s pretty unnerving too bc I’m so used to him being such a shitass person like he was when I cut off most contact with him like. Idk 4-5 years ago? But it’s rlly nice and I rlly hope maybe I can actually have a good relationship with my father for realsies now :))))

#tw father mention #idk if anyone needs this tagged any other way so lemme know

8 notes · View notes

thepatchycat · 2 years

Text

(Spoilers for TCW Season 7 and Tales of the Jedi)

They can’t stay together.

Rex wants nothing more than to keep watching her six. Hers is the only one he has left to watch. But he doesn’t have a unique face with which to blend into a crowd, and a clone not serving the army is an easy deserter to spot. With every Jedi and ex-Jedi slated for galaxy-wide persecution, Ahsoka can’t afford any extra scrutiny.

So, once they have buried their dead, once Ahsoka has quietly attended another funeral on Naboo—because of course Senator Amidala’s death would be piled upon the rest, one more name to add to an immeasurable litany of friends and brethren lost—they make for Takodana. A stolen Y-wing won’t draw too many eyes when half the other ships on the planet are just as illicitly sourced, and there’s enough vegetation to hide it in besides.

They land in an out-of-the-way forest clearing, and Ahsoka ventures into the small city of Andui to procure supplies, bidding Rex to rest while he has the chance. He’ll need to move on with the stolen Y-wing and his veteran’s armor and his one-of-millions face, soon. Ahsoka will find her own way from here; if she has a plan, it’s safer for both of them not to tell him.

Rex will go warn Cut Lawquane about the chips. After… he doesn’t know.

He catches what snatches of sleep he can, out in the woods, until Ahsoka returns. They share a meal in silence, and then split the remainder of their meager provisions.

Then it’s time for him to leave.

“You take care, kid,” Rex says quietly. They stand face-to-face, two souls with nobody left but each other, soon to be nobody left at all. “Keep your head down.”

“I will,” she replies. “You do the same.”

He swallows and glances away.

“Rex.” She reaches up and touches his cheek, tilting his face so he can’t avoid her gaze. “Promise me you’ll take care of yourself.”

Maybe Ahsoka will be able to survive quietly, find some hidden corner of relative peace. He hopes so. But Rex has never lived his life without fighting, and he’s never lived it alone.

“I promise,” he says anyway. He’ll try, even if he’s not sure how.

Satisfied, she nods, and then she leans up on her toes and wraps strong arms around his neck to pull him into a hug. She should be taller than him one day, a fact she used to like teasing him about. He wishes he’d get to see it happen.

“This might not be forever,” she whispers in a voice as unsteady as he feels.

But they both know it could be. Not that that’s really new.

He embraces her in return and holds her tight for as long as he dares, eyes burning.

Then he lets her go.

#Star Wars #TCW #Captain Rex #Ahsoka Tano #TCW Spoilers #TOTJ Spoilers #TOTJ has me all up in my feelings again #Rex loses every one of his brothers and then has to leave his sister too #Who has also lost everyone she knows #It just. They kill me. Every time.#Someday I will write happier things for them but today is apparently not that day #Patchy Writes #CW Grief #Lemme know if I need to add any other tags

85 notes · View notes

todayisafridaynight · 9 months

Note

I wanted to write in about my thoughts on Jo as a CSA survivor separately for a couple of reasons:

I already more or less have what I have to say on the topic in order thanks to talks with @starssystem and another friend [<3]

This is a massive tonal shift from anything else I could be discussing

This Is Massive In General For The Love Of God PLEASE Help Me

Obvious CSA CW for anyone else reading; I only discuss statistics, psychology, and the aftereffects seen in survivors here, but it's worth a warning.

With the disclaimers out of the way… I'd mentioned before I've only ever added one thing to Jo's background, and you were right: this is it! To me, there's so much thematic overlap in Jo's narrative with the experience of surviving CSA it's worth it to examine his character through the lens of that being the case. Of course, there are clearly-stated reasons for it all that Aren't That, but…

It's the pervasive guilt and shame, the lifelong secret that becomes too unbearable not to tell, the faulty coping mechanisms aimed at burying the trauma without having to face it, the reluctance to be sincere [vulnerable] and the lies and half-truths used to maintain the facade of invulnerability, the pursuit of power and control and the knee-jerk anger response when it's threatened, the pursuit of mastery over his body and the indifference to what happens to it. And the way a lot of it really does stem from a deeply traumatic childhood sexual experience from before either he or Ikumi understood what they were getting into, from before they could give informed consent.

Statistically, the further below the average age someone is for their first time, the likelihood of [at best] having been introduced to sex inappropriately and [at worst] having been abused at the time or earlier rises exponentially. Jo was 15 when Masato was conceived--possibly 14, since he was saying he "met" Arakawa at 15, and by then Masato was already born. To put this into perspective, since what ages register as concerning is largely cultural, the average age in the US and UK is 16-18. But in Japan, it's over 19.

To a Westerner [or even a heavily Westernized non-Westerner], having a kid at 15 is unfortunate, but not untenable; you've seen it on TV, you might know people like that, you might even be that kid or that parent. But in Jo's case, with him being 4 or 5 years younger than average, it's like if someone told you they had their first time--had a /kid/--at 13 or under. That's the equivalent discrepancy. That /is/ concerning, to me.

It's also something that's linked to negative outcomes in adulthood, partly because of the likelihood of forming bonds with poorly-adjusted peers. Jo specifically states he and Ikumi were only together because others who came from backgrounds like his own were all he had back then. [As an aside, it's interesting to see him instinctively seek out a relationship where his pain would be understood without having to say anything--or one where he could assume it would, at any rate.]

When it comes to his relationship with Ikumi, I've always felt there was this "adult dynamic" between them--in the sense it feels like one that'd be more fitting for adults to get into than a couple of teens. It was, based on his wording, a primarily physical relationship neither of them expected to last even if they were living together. To me, it's one thing if you're fully convinced you're in love or you're experimenting or whatever and that results in an unplanned pregnancy, but it's another thing entirely to have such a bleak yet objective outlook on your relationship so young.

And it didn't have to be that way. He could've been just like Arakawa, head-over-heels in love with this girl who was The Only Good Thing He Had Going, or something like that. But the sheer contrast between how Arakawa was crazy about Akane and never forgot about her for the rest of his life, while Jo more-or-less-clearly didn't have feelings for Ikumi and can't bring himself to remember her name after living with her for at least a year and experiencing life-changing events with her…

It's notable to me that Arakawa maintains an interest in women while nearly every in-character interpretation I've seen makes Jo averse to women. Obviously, we don't really know that; it's probably just based on his general attitudes, his contrast with Arakawa, and maybe his immunity to Charm. But I think there's a reason a lot of people pick up on it and tie it to trauma rather than/in addition to a lack of interest in women.

I've talked about this through the lens of comphet already [and Jo being gay or ace or both would present other difficulties], but I can't overstate how notable it is on its own. We see Jo's response to traumatic events, and it's to become preoccupied with them, to investigate further if he has any leads. That's why he remembers every minute detail of the night Masato was born and the time he saw Arakawa attempt to comfort Masato when he was crying and hitting himself. I think it's also why he gets as far as he does when looking into Arakawa's death, and why he entrusts the search to Ichi. He never seems to manage to block them out, even if that's what he'd rather do--even if that's what he thinks he's doing.

So if he "[doesn't] even remember" the name of the mother of his child, I get the feeling there's something more going on. Like I've [probably] said in the past, Jo genuinely sounds traumatized by the relationship as a whole. More than anything else he's been through, and he's been through a lot. It's often the case that CSA survivors who are also survivors of other trauma view it as worse than anything else that happened to them.

And that's not to implicate Ikumi at all, I don't think it's a case of COCSA--everything I've said holds just as true for her, and she had to suffer the additional trauma of an unwanted pregnancy and childbirth, at that. Rather, I think it would make sense for something like CSA, which often incontrovertibly reconfigures one's relationship with sex and love, to be a factor in why they rushed into a something physical before they were mature enough to handle it.

Some victims end up having perfectly healthy experiences, some victims end up avoiding them, some victims end up re-victimized, and some victims end up with a mixed bag--there's a lot of variation. But some victims do end up having relationships like this and making mistakes like this, because that's all they know, or because they want to heal but don't [or don't know how to] go about it in a healthy way, at a healthy pace. And I definitely think if you recognize that's what the basis of your relationship was, that it all comes back to something you'd rather forget, it'd make sense to want to forget the relationship as a whole.

To that end, it's possible to come away from a relationship traumatized even if no one did anything wrong. I've [probably] talked about how the way Jo comforts her at the station feels like he's doing it for her sake and pushing his own feelings down, but neither of them is really buying it. If that's a pattern in their relationship, perhaps he wouldn't have been able to communicate if maybe what they were doing was dredging up bad memories, if he wanted to stop but didn't think she did. So to go through with it, then get the news months later…

Either way, the fact Ikumi couldn't bring herself to tell him she was pregnant until nothing could be done would, for Jo, invariably cement the feeling he has no control over what happens around him. I think the sense of powerlessness he felt is why he blew up at her when she told him, because it's really the only time we see him lash out like that at her. At the park, he objects to going back for Masato, sure, but he's passive. And I think that unbroken pattern of powerlessness in his life [which CSA would only compound on] is why he's so reactionary, why he's so emotionally dysregulated, why he expresses his rage through what basically amounts to power-tripping.

But I do think Jo does have a great deal of awareness. A lot of his wording when he's telling Ichi about it borders on poetic, or at the very least candid and effective. That requires both prior reflection and a command of language. I think there's a lot he understands deep down, at least after sitting with it for long enough, but he isn't capable of voicing--or doesn't know how to voice--what's on his mind, most of the time.

So when he joins the Arakawa Family, when he rises the ranks and has that control back, his control has to be near-absolute. If it's undermined in any way--such as, for example, a certain someone failing to answer a call within two rings--he loses it. On the other side of the coin, I do feel a lot of why his devotion and gratitude towards Arakawa goes to the extent it does, why he's so comfortable with him, is because Arakawa gave him the safety of the Arakawa Family, gave him back his autonomy, gave him the environment--and treated him with enough humanity to give him the reason--to learn to regulate himself, to better himself.

And Arakawa /gets/ trauma. He really does. Aside from his own abusive background, literally the only time the word trauma comes out of any character's mouth in this series, it's Arakawa's. It comes back to Jo saying others who came from backgrounds like his own were all he had; that never changed, did it?

Lastly, For Funsies [<- LIE. COMPLETE LIE. TURN BACK NOW] I wanted to go through the items on this [CSA] Survivors' Aftereffects Checklist I could check off with near-certainty. 19/34, by the way, give or take. Now, as I said at the beginning, there are existing concrete reasons for why he has many of these experiences… but it's like the trans allegory with Masato, To Me… If I can check off over half the list based on a very limited backstory and an hour of screen time total, that's indicative of a notable overlap… TO ME…

Note that the book this list is from was published in 1990 and focuses on women's experiences. It was a huge step forward in giving survivors a voice back when a lot of existing research indicated CSA had neutral or even positive effects on children, but it's definitely a product of its time. With that out of the way…

Wearing a lot of clothing, even in summer […]

To be fair, most male characters in RGG are fully-covered and have near-unchanging designs, and it's winter in both 2000/2001 and presumably 2019, but… when it comes to Jo, it feels a little different.

He does have Some Heavage in his twenties [although the necklace takes the attention off of his actual chest], but as time goes on, he shows less and less skin and adds more and more layers. When he has the gloves on, it leaves no skin exposed at all, and there's this direct symbolic correlation with secrecy that isn't there for other characters. And if you're wearing three layers of leather [or even one], you can neither feel what you're touching nor feel anything touch you.

Pure Speculation, but I just can't really see him underdressed for any occasion… That's why his fit in Day with the Sun is funny as hell but also… yeah…

As a behavior, if it's rooted in anything, it's probably rooted in having to hide signs of physical abuse, of course--but then he kind of already had an excuse, with how he was constantly getting into fights. I guess it depends on the specifics, but I think it's interesting to consider this as one way CSA victims attempt to regain control of their bodies, avoiding emotional discomfort at the cost of physical discomfort.

Self-destructiveness

It's nothing super overt, but I see this most clearly represented in his second boss fight in particular; his willingness to wield a blade bare-handed while using enough force he could very well render his hand useless. I think it's potentially also evident in how he has severe cataracts he chooses to ignore and allow to worsen, despite having the reasons and resources to undergo surgery to restore his vision. In doing so, he literally and figuratively blinds himself to so much.

I also kind of think the assassination of Hoshino/the anonymous call and The Eye Scene are examples of self-sabotage. I mean, he literally was sabotaging himself in the former, but it's also the specific way he feels the need to be physically taken down in order to be stopped--possibly a holdover from RGGJo, who's only too happy to be beaten into a coma.

I don't know… It's hard to pinpoint, but I feel like he would be averse to most of the more "obvious" self-destructive behaviors--especially when he has people in his life who might notice and worry, like Ikumi and Arakawa. That and because many of them are addictive. He's seen what that's done to his father, and he's also developed this incredibly rigid sense of discipline he can't maintain if he doesn't have a clear head.

From how he talks about himself [as having lost his humanity and lived a half-assed life], I definitely think he's at the very least unkind to himself, but I also think he does externalize it by provoking others to harm him [in the case of physical fights] and reject him. Like he needs some kind of proxy perpetrator. For some abuse victims, this specific manifestation of self-destructive behavior is a way to regain control--whether or not you "deserved it" back then, you do now, as a direct, logical result of your actions.

Need to be invisible, perfect, or perfectly bad

I think each of these needs manifests in different ways for Jo. The need to be invisible can be seen with authority figures (mainly Aoki, but also Arakawa in The Yubitsume Scene, a little; how drastically he pulls back and tries to act "normal")--this relates to what you were talking about with being reluctant to intrude or take up space. If you fall under the radar, maybe you won't get hurt.

The need to be perfect can be seen in his seemingly "impossible" standards, I would say. Of course, because we see things from Ichiban's perspective, we tend to see them as unfair and often arbitrary demands. But they aren't arbitrary to Jo, are they? They're standards he holds himself to through and through. If you're good, maybe you won't get hurt.

The need to be perfectly bad can be seen in and relates to much of what I discussed under self-destructiveness [The Eye Scene and the way he antagonizes Ichiban specifically by making himself out to be worse than he is]. If you must get hurt, it can at least "make sense"--be "deserved."

Suicidal thoughts, attempts, obsession (including "passive suicide")

Obviously he's not like… Mine Levels Of Overtly And Consistently Suicidal, and he doesn't attempt suicide himself, but at the same time, I have to note his total ambivalence towards Aoki seeing him as a "bullet" (a kind of hitman sent on suicide missions). He agreed to what he himself viewed as a suicide mission and he didn't care what would happen to him afterward, as he says to Joon-gi, Zhao, and Adachi.

Aside from that, I certainly feel he's at least had passive thoughts like wanting to disappear or wishing he'd never been born. Y'know. Nothing concrete, but reflective of his mental state, and just as detrimental to dwell on long-term.

I think there's a sort of childishness [for lack of a better word] to thoughts like these [in that they're impossible], but also a level of maturity in that it probably doesn't escalate to something more actionable because he understands he has responsibilities he can't abandon. I think if he was ever seriously suicidal, it would be at the points of his life where he really didn't have any responsibility to anyone, like between Ikumi leaving and him joining the family, or after he was arrested.

Depression (sometimes paralyzing) […]

I'm trying not to over explain going forward because I Have BEEN Overexplaining It Is SUCH A Disaster… he's depressed If You Have Eyes And/Or Ears… I'll leave it at that…

Anger issues; inability to recognize, own, or express anger; constant anger […]

Lol

Rigid control of one's thought process; humorlessness or extreme solemnity

Relates back to what I was saying about how disciplined he is [and expects everyone else to be], but in general, he's incredibly, incredibly serious and focused. I don't think he's /entirely/ humorless [but then again, very few people are]; I just think his specific sense of humor is. Like. What Is Your Problem [I Know What Your Problem Is I Have Been Discussing It In EXCRUCIATING Detail But What The Fuck Is Your Problem]

Trust issues; inability to trust (trust is not safe); total trust; trusting indiscriminately

That's why he was planning on taking his secret to the grave, isn't it? It was only when faced with the realization it would soon be too late to say anything that he was able to tell Ichiban. He could've trusted Arakawa, should've been able to, but… in his mind he never could.

This book [and this checklist] is about "incest" actually, but it redefines "incest" to mean any instance of CSA perpetrated by any individual the victim trusts or has an expectation of being able to implicitly trust. Which… is most CSA as we understand it today, so I've edited some parts to just say that.

Anyway, I've never given much thought to the specifics of what Jo might've experienced--who did it, what happened, how long it went on, etc.--so there's no conclusion I can draw here [and elsewhere, I'm sure]… but even without that, to grow up unable to trust the one person who should be in his corner, his father, and to have his trust betrayed by Ikumi, it's no surprise Jo ended up like this either way. So… I'm happy he had the courage to tell Ichi, in the end.

High risk taking ("daring the fates"); inability to take risks

I think these are supposed to be mutually exclusive, but to me, Hoshino's assassination and Arakawa's assassination represent both sides of the coin, although they're not the only examples. There are risks Jo won't think twice about taking and risks that paralyze him.

Boundary issues; control, power, territoriality issues; fear of losing control; obsessive/compulsive behaviors (attempts to control things that don't matter, just to control something)

Lol…

Guilt, shame; low self-esteem, feeling worthless; high appreciation of small favors by others

Lmao Even…

Feeling demand to "produce and be loved"; instinctively knowing and doing what the other person needs or wants; relationships mean big tradeoffs (love was taken, not given)

I actually think this encapsulates a lot of what I've been saying about his work ethic, his ideas of discipline, and his relationship with Ikumi, but I also think it's why Masato took a liking to him. His attentiveness. It ties back into wanting to be perfect; when you're abused--especially long-term--you become attuned to observing and responding to any shifts in mood or tone. This is another area where I can't draw any conclusions relevant to my point, but it does certainly relate to his father's abuse, at any rate.

Abandonment issues

Kind of contentious… The anticipation of being abandoned by or losing someone he cares about appears to be worse than the actual experience. He's fine with Ikumi leaving him, and he's… not Fine With, but able to come to terms with Arakawa's death and Aoki's abandonment of him. At the same time, he really does try to make Ikumi's stay in his life comfortable, and he spends almost forty years doing his damnedest to keep his family together, whatever the cost. If I were to extrapolate from RGGJo, though, /he/ does have an obsessive, unhealthy attachment to Arakawa.

Blocking out some period of early years (especially 1–12); or a specific person or place

Ikumiiiiii that's what I'm SAYINGGGG

Feeling of carrying an awful secret; urge to tell, fear of its being revealed; certainty no one will listen; being generally secretive […]

Rofl Perhaps…

Denial; […] repression of memories; pretending; minimizing ("it wasn't that bad") […]

He admits to it himself. Not much else to say. Though I don't think he necessarily minimizes what he's been through by dismissing how bad it was; rather, he tends to overestimate his ability to move past it.

Pattern of ambivalent or intensely conflictive relationships (intimacy is a problem; also focus shifted from [CSA] issues)

Also kind of contentious… we don't see a pattern of romantic relationships, as I assume the author meant here, but at the same time, the romantic relationship and non-romantic relationships we do see fit this pattern. I guess I'd say I definitely think intimacy /would/ be a problem, and he /wouldn't/ be ready to address his issues.

Limited tolerance for happiness; active withdrawal from happiness, reluctance to trust happiness ("ice=thin")

The quote that prompted this ask in the first place. It's sort of connected to the point about humorlessness and extreme solemnity; if that was the "what," this is the "why." He doesn't know how to relax ["holidays don't exist" and all], he doesn't have much to be happy about, but even rarer is the occasion where he doesn't feel too conflicted in the moment to be able to enjoy himself. That's just how I see him.

[…] verbal hypervigilance (careful monitoring of one's words); quiet-voiced, especially when needing to be heard

EXACTLY what I was talking about in this ask, so I'm leaving that one up to past me…

......

... That's It That's The Essay I'm going to hibernate until Infinite Wealth comes out and somehow refutes my points but UNTIL THEN. Farewell, take care, and once more, don't worry too much about matching my energy… Like I Said if I were the one receiving this ask I'd just delete my blog, so… I'll just be happy to know you read it :] If That lmao

ok i read it :) 👁️👁️ READMYTAGSTHERESMORETHEREIPROMISE

#long post #cw csa #doublin up to add cw warnins in the tags just in case <3 lemme know if i should throw more tags down here..... im bad at cw tags....#i forget my bookmark tag for asks from you i stg if i cant find this ask in the future im kmsing (in minecraft) immediately #snap chats #THE SNORT I MADE AT THE DEADPAN 'LOL'☠️ maybe i SHOULDVE put text In The Main Text i have A Lot of Thoughts..#im leavin the main text empty since. ngl i was just gonna compare/contrast to myself again... and say a lot of what weve said b4..#UNFORTUNATELY a lot of the things listed here uhmmmm Hm <3 Uh Oh <3 i do understand. Dare I Say personally. just a bit #I DO HAVE TO DISCLAIM ive never been a survivor of THOSE circumstances or really. any abuse tbh- brain just sucks and im a baby #and i cant say no BUT ANYWAY I HAVE REASONS FOR BEIN AN EGOTIST I SWEAR its cause I Somewhat had those exps/i understand them #i can REAAAALLLYY easily see where your points are coming from.... very easily even... like very in-depth..#even if i didnt cry bout spilled milk every other day it IS clear to see the signs of abuse in sawashiro once you know them #i've def talked bout those aspects of him whether in tag rambles or in streams or have Attempted to express it via fics #so really the bits to chew on for me esp this time round is the more CSA aspects #tbh when it comes to bein unable to see him intimate or 'underdressed' i agree: incredibly hard for me to imagine #the thing with 'symptoms' of abuse is that they kinda overlap i guess ??#in that regard it can either be a need to impress or protect himself/needing to be seen less #when it comes to doing certain things because of CSA i could see it as a result of another abuse too. if that makes sense #THOUGH THAT ISNT TO DISCREDIT THE IDEA nono cause there still exists the Now That I Think About It circumstances of masato #even if we look at it through Western Norms(TM) two- essentially homeless- kids having. A Kid is still bizarre #cause again teen pregnancies generally happen as a result of Bein Irresponsible With A Schoolmate- not that other situations cant exist #but thats the most common innit so. def an aspect to consider. All Things Considered. esp jo's self-separation from ikumi #BUT YEAH i feel like if i try to respond im just gonna end up typing up a textbook bout abuse since. UNFORTUNATELY #childhood psychology is my field of interest. and aint no one readin THAT phat thing. esp when ill prob repeat myself or you ☠️#tbh remindin meself of when i said id write psyche papers on mine and/or jo.... oops 👀💋👀 savin this to steal notes from LOL #i hope yo know i WAS thoroughly intrigued reading this. As Ive Said childhood psyche is Literally My Field and this is v thorough and good #so im always interested in readin bout How X Caused Y in Z... very interesting many MANY things to think about.. ty...#forever cursed to be an idiot cause i really wish i could talk better and say somethin of substance.. ik you said its fine but still..#im always open to chat bout this more if youd like PLEASE dont think my lack of Main Text is disinterest Im Just Stupid. But We Know That

11 notes · View notes

mune-mice · 1 year

Note

Hiii, I absolutely love your Archivist!Tim AU, and I specially love your Web!Jon, I think he should be a little evil as a treat. Can you please tell me more about him?

How did he join the Web? Are he and Annabelle friends? Does he feel flattered when Martin says he likes spiders?

Keep up the good work! <3

apdhajduwush ;-; goddammit you all are so fucking nice to me, thank you!!!!

While I don't think web!Jon really gets silly evil.. he definitely gets to be kinda silly goofy. Jon didn't join the web intentionally, it just sort of.. happened? Just like how he doesn't join the eye intentionally in canon. Starting from when he was marked by the web as an 8 year old, the mother of puppets has been carefully weaving him into her plans. Once he's brought down to the archives.. in a way, it only makes sense for him to manifest the features of being a web avatar. In the au, I'd definitely say he's met Annabelle Caine before, though it was likely years before he worked in research, and she never gave her name. So.. no, they're not friends. But Jon does have strong memories of meeting the woman with a web pattern in her hair. This poor, wet cat of man..

When Jon first gets all spidery, he actually turns to Martin, panicking horribly. Jon tries to get Martin to help him cut the spider legs off but Marto's like. What the fuck no I am not cutting your LIMBS OFF JON. He does try to assure Jon that it's okay because spiders are very cute, really, and very good for the ecosystem <3 Jon is having none of it, though talking to Martin does help him feel better.

thanks again!!

#tarchivist au #jonathan sims #spider mention #web!jon #uhhh #lemme know if i need to tag any other tws on here #asks

30 notes · View notes

sovereigntism · 4 months

Text

BOLD what your muse experiences, ITALICIZE leaning.

Character Select -> : Ryuusa King Evans

Alcoholism. Amnesia. Anxiety. Appetite Loss. Binge Eating. Co-Dependence. Cynicism. Defensiveness. Denial. Depersonalization. Depression. Derealization. Devaluation. Displacement. Dissociation. Drug Abuse. Dysphoria. Emotional Detachment. Flashbacks. Flat Affect. Guilt. Hallucinations. Hypersomnia. Hypervigilance. Hypochondria. Idealization. Insomnia. Intellectualization. Introjection. Isolation. Low Self Esteem. Narcissism. Night Terrors. Obsessive Compulsion. Overeating. Panic Attacks. Passive Aggression. Paranoia. Phobias. Projection. Psychosis. Rationalization. Regression. Repression. Restrictive Eating. Risky Sex. Self-Harm. Somatization. Splitting. Sublimation. Suicidal Ideation. Sleepwalking. Suppression. Thousand Yard Stare. Triggers. Trust Issues. Violence. Whiplash. Temper.

RePOST don't ReBLOG

tagged by: N/A Swiped from the void. Tagging: anyone else who wants to do this. tag me so I can see!

#cw.darksubjects #cw.BlogContent #(Things that likely will be discussed at some point with King are in italics or bold.))#trigger.suicide #trigger.eatingdisorders #(If any others need to be trigger tagged lemme know I'll repost with requested tags.))#(Btw hi I'm awake XD))#headcanon.powerofgodandanime

2 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs

mh-the13thyear-au

Welcome to Monster High

chvrryhill

cͨhͪeͤrͬrͬyhͪiͥll

ghost-of-someone

Howdy!

tamelee

dataplusvaluewebservices1

Untitled