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#if she hated me though thats a different story. if she hated me she wouldnt want my love at all id just be hurting her by still loving her
wiihtigo · 8 days
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CASEY NATION RISE 7, 9, 17, 20, 23, 25
ask game
7. What’s one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?
i used to think that she didnt care much about the art of actually acting and cinema and stuff and for her it was more about just being famous and it didnt matter how. i think that was partially because although i knew i wanted her to lust for fame and money the acting dream was kind of just randomly decided on. i thought i could easily swap it out with modelling or singing or something and it wouldnt make much difference. but the more time ive spent with casey, the more i see her as a true lover of movies and art....which i think leads in well to her endgame job being a script editor rather than an actor. her true talents lie behind the screen even if she herself doesnt see it...
9. Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?
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whats a girl to do - cristina
a post canon (after nell dies) caseys life anthem:)
17. What is the worst thing you have put your OC through story-wise?
well i was going to blame it entirely on you that nell dies and i had no say in that but i suppose i did come up with her emotional reaction to that myself, which causes me a lot of slow damage pain. SO I GUESS THAT..the fact she pushes michelle away after it happens is really depressing to me because thats literally her only friend left and only possible pillar of support, but she pushes her away because she hates everything and shes mad shes not nell and shes mad at her family and wants to explode. I think she'd be marginally less suicidal if she stayed friends with her.....
I guess also pulling from alternate realities the one where she dies is pretty fucked up. and very painful. and nell doesnt even make it to her to cradle her in her arms. SAD
20. Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest?
yyessss. at least when he and nell start getting lowkey. no. highkey #serious. early in their setup he wouldnt gaf if nell was married to a businesswoman in russia.but when they start ummmm [redacted] then hes like waittt. lol waittttttt lol wait. lol. WAITTT. gets a little annoyed when theyre at the doom patrol warehouse party and jayna from the wonder twins tries to get ladybugs number. THATS MY BODYGUARD..GET YOUR OWN. it manifests in that he'll get clingy to nell and mean and passive aggressive (or just aggressive) towards the person pissing him off. will be petty and spiteful (sees some poor scared nervous young lesbian trying to say hi to nell so he slides in and nuzzles up to her shoulder in public to let that sstupid kid know to go away)
idk why he does this. if you asked him if he liked nell he would say And what has she done to MAKE me like her
23. What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?
lol GRIEF. little casey has never experienced a death before nell! not even a pet death. she has no idea how to process those feelings or cope with them in the slightest. she goes like catatonic immediately after the fact bcuz shes so completely shocked and wasnt prepared for it at all (lowkey thought ladybug was too awesomeand strong to ever get got. stupidd)
on the complete flip side, also .....l-l-l-l-l-l-l--l-l-l-l-l-l...LOVE. or at least feeling a smidge of serious romantic attraction to someone. in canon end she never gets to deal with that bcuz she only realizes it after nell died and then promptly buried everything related to nell deep inside a hole. but in nyc nell simply has an epic near death experience where hes hospitalized and thats when casey is like fuuuuuuuuuck that scared me. DO I LIKE HER? she acts a bit pathetic and tsundere abt it which is endearing to me personally. maybe scares nell a bit. its cute to me though <3
25. What is your favorite thing about your OC?
shes not a good person </3 shes selfish and mean and doesnt care about other people </3 bent on revenge and hating </3 genuinely not a good guy </3 i love everything negative about casey the most
i also think secretary characters are sexy.
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sistervirtue · 8 months
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so like i know ive joked abt this scene selling the inari is nobimarus mother theory for me before it was confirmed but i think it is a really valuable insight into the two of them and how inari has directly influenced the path of nobimarus development
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we were confirmed from this latest chapter that what inari hates most is betrayal. the reason she began moving in such violent ways so quickly once kabane entered the picture is because she saw inugami preventing her from getting the lifestone as a betrayal of their work agreement.
we also know from this latest chapter and arc as a whole is that inari wants to fuse humans and kemono and use the power of the bewitching calculus + evil fox weed to create a society where she acts as "the divine mother" and in her words "stop all conflict between intelligent life because everyone will think the same way". its an interesting contradiction: shes willing to use any amount of force ncessary to exert her will over others, but ultimately it seems like she despises conflict of any sort, even between others. Again, this comes back to my proposition that she and inugami represent two different themes of life: coexistence vs consumption. inari wants the whole to be homologous and absorbed into her
again, though, we hit a contradiction: inari is entirely willing to "forget" the people that fail her. she discard's even her most loyal supporter on a dime, and genuinely cant even recall her name later on. her obsession lays largely in an aversion of being the one scorned, and she's willing to discard reason entirely to satisfy her upset (see above: potentially destroying an entire part of the country and when nobimaru goes hey uh. potentially unwise she says "do you think thats more important than me being mad?")
nobimaru takes on a lot of similar traits to inari, but i think one difference of note is how dutiful nobimaru is. in a weird way, he's one of the more reliable characters in the sense that he's willing to honor the social contract formed with other characters, such as when he asks kabane if he remembers their friendship agreement after konsplosion, and the multiple references he makes (including in the above pages) to the duty of a superior over his employees. even early on, after the loss of his hand, he states that he wouldnt accept ayas healing because the wound "was incurred by his own lack of skill". while duplicitous, he doesnt ever really betray either inugami + co or inari, acting perfectly within the bounds of his orders and not further (even though at multiple points he could have snatched the lifestone), but even when he acts behind inaris back he's ultimately doing it towards a goal that benefits her by preventing the potential consequences of her actions from causing her harm (not inciting the tanukis wrath at yashima, recruiting the marukuma brothers, not destroyign chiiba). and of course, we're told over the course of the story that nobimaru is willing to do almost anything achieve his ends, from destroying his body to working without sleep 24/7, a goal which he calls entirely selfish-- but that end being to save inari. he expresses disgust, rage, and annoyance with inari, and acts behind her back, but ultimately he has never once betrayed her. he's the ultimate dutiful son-- his entire life revolves around her and what he believes is best for her, a mindset which has been cultivated since he was young, with inari asking him to be brave and set up preparations for her plans to be put in action. i wouldnt be surprised if he really has been working alongside her for the decade or so prior to canon, just out of view, because unlike kon (who was young and had her memories tinkered with), he could be trusted to never turn tail on inari. and thats not the only impact inaris rejection of rejection has left on him; it seems he's picked up a similar impulse, with his "type" being "someone who will fall down to him", and his demeanor towards those he allies with frequently being troublesome or just outright annoying. the benign annoyance he uses to prod inugami and umetaro with, however, is very distinct from the malicious compliance he regards others with, and in its own way, seems to act as a test of loyalty and how far he can push it-- especially in umetaros case, when nobimaru is genuinely surprised that umetaro wants to come back to work for him after being freed from his debt, since he had put him through some crazy shit. however, nobimaru doesnt enforce his will in the same aggressive manner she does, presumably because hes aware the entirety of his power comes from a subordinate position to his mother, and his age + status requires much less outright audacity. akagi said nobimaru wanted to control inari, and in a way i think thats true-- he wants to reign her in, but when dealing with the forceful personality and power imbalance of his own mother, he has to toe a more delicate and lowkey line. we saw something similar with younger inari meeting inugami. although again, the fact shes nobimarus mother likely enforces a much harder line of acceptable vs unacceptable behavior when it comes to pushing back.
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msntoon · 1 year
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i hate it so much when people are like "Evelyn's villain arc doesn't make sense bc her ideology is confusing and contradictory" WHEN THATS LEGIT WHAT MAKES HER CHARACTER SO INTERESTING AND UNIQUE??? ok so, evelyn's whole reason for being evil is "my parents would still be alive is superheroes hadnt ever existed." its a reasonable thought to have, especially because her way of looking at situations seems to always be so calculated and realistic and gritty and mean. she's a very blunt person. she sees a situation, comes up with the most logical explanation, and sticks to it. she's stubborn, which explains the fact that, even though her opinions on her parents death are disproven like four million times, she still refuses to see anything from a different angle. it explains the fact that even after her plan literally begins to fall apart ion the third act of the movie, she still, for some reason, sticks to it, which ultimately causes her to get arrested. ive seen so many arguments where the entire rant is about "well evelyn says her brothers views are childish which doesnt make snese because hers are too and also her plan sucks and she doesnt really act as smart as she is" but like, the thing is, it makes complete sense for her character. her and her brother both have childish ideologies. winston thinks superheroes can solve everything, and evelyn thinks they mess everything up, which are both childish arguments. evelyn's is just childish in a different way. she has a more logical and adult way of looking at things than winston, she never believed in superheroes like him and her father did. i think the most interesting thing about Evelyn's whole plan is that, is she literally just did nothing, everything that she wanted to happen would have happened. like, screenslaver was the only one doing like, any crime in that movie, so if none of those crimes happened, like, winston wouldnt have any material to work with and the whole "legalizing superheroes" thing woulldve been scrapped. evelyn could have achieved way more just like, using her knowledge on technology to hijack the operation without any flashy villains or anything. like, girl just sabatoge the stupid tech your brother wants to use. just break stuff. but since her view on the situation is so clouded, childish, and illogical, it causes her to act out and overall make the situation worse. all in all, her character writing doesnt get nearly enough credit simply because people arent willing to dig a little deeper into her story. ty for coming to me tedtalk. sorry if it was bad i dont do rants often and i just got done crying
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mbat · 1 year
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i think the thing is that people want mature stories but most peoples idea of mature is just gore and sex or whatever. i blame adult swim for that skgjsnf theres probably a better thing to blame but still.
plenty of kids/family media prove you dont need those things to be mature. you just need to care. granted, theres restrictions on kids media that hold them back. thats the biggest issue fr.
when it comes to adult shows they dont put enough of those restraints on. they restrain other things though. like when morel orel created and aired an episode that was a major reason it got cancelled. the episode was fucked up.... but it cared. at least a little bit.
steven universe is mature. bluey is mature. id even consider multiple disney animated movies as mature.
the thing is... theyre also made for families of all ages.
they arent mature because of organs falling out of bodies on screen, or people having explicit sex for every viewer to see, or people foaming at the mouth from overdoses. theyre mature because they show humanity in a way that you can feel cares. they show people experiencing real feelings and getting through them in a way that feels real.
of course, its not all black and white. everything has its mature moments, and just because something doesnt do what ive said doesnt make it immature, its just different. inside out was mature for showing a girl running away and experiencing deep emotional pain until she decided to go back home to her parents and talk it out.
i wouldnt say moana was immature for not doing deep dives on the human experience in favor of having a fantastical story that had human moments more as a side dish. it has some amazing moments that are just as human, but theyre not the primary focus.
when i think of writing stories as mature, i think of having a dive into the human experience. i wrote a whole fic that was that and its still unfinished. the only part that could be considered adult is the way i added people cursing and vague references to sex.
when i think of a mature story i want on screen, i want one thats real, that tells human stories whether the characters are human or not, i want one that acknowledges the things we consider adult like violence/gore, sex, and sure, even drugs if it matters so much, but they arent some focal point for drama or shock. i dont want something that overtakes a story that couldve been good.
ive thought of many shows while writing this. many movies, just media in general. ones i love, ones i hate, ones ive experienced through other peoples words alone. maybe you have too.
hear me out here, a good example of what i consider a mature story i like on screen is stranger things. however, its also a horror franchise alongside its other genres, so of course it leans into gross things and gore a little bit, but never just because. it uses those elements to paint a world and further the story.
i also like the good place, too. a show that, from episode one, points at philosophy and ethics and runs with it. one that questions and attempts to answer things about humanity itself. its a comedy show so it can have its weird moments, but i honestly consider it a near perfect show personally. it also acknowledges sexual things without being in your face with them.
many shows do try to be mature but just go too far with some things. i mean, i think euphoria was trying to be mature? but when i watched it all i saw was oversexualized teenagers and so much talk about drugs that it got on my nerves from minute one. maybe its realistic to some people but it was a pain to get through for me.
and sigh. yes. i will acknowledge Velma. it shows close ups of brains falling out of heads. it opens on a shot of nude women in highschool only covered by conveniently placed bubbles and constantly talks about another students privates. it has a whole storyline about selling drugs. all of this is shock, all of this is immature 'adult' stuff. we been knew. its the type of stuff you see on family guy.
family guy is some of the worst about it all, only brought down the rankings of worst because its restrained from showing everything possible. also. admittedly. theres moments where family guy had, well, moments. its been years since ive watched the show but there were moments it got genuine and serious and you could feel they were trying, at least a little. but then the rest of the show is just... bad.
i dont know if ive gotten a point across or if my wording makes sense, but i just wanted to say all that considering conversations people have been having for a little while now.
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Hey,manhwa anon,I was wondering if u have read seasons of blossom(sob) its recently ended so it'd be the best time to read I think you would like this story alot and as you said u liked romance in the response that make me more confident that u would like it
It's has romance but it's also touches other topic such as friendship,su1c1de,being bullied, pressure from parents to get grades etc nd imo all couple r good(execpt for one which I personally don't like) it's has 4 szn all have diff mc but! All of the characters r connected somehow it's funny,has good romance,touches serious topic,they help e/o through hardship
I love it nd I like ur opinion on many things so I wanted you to read this & give your opinions😅
Hey, anon, from this post. Thanks for your rec. Actually, i read first season before and maybe season 2 too, i dont really remember though. But i didnt complete it before but after getting your message, i decided to give another chance and i recently restarted it and finished the whole story. Also you made me curious about which one you didnt like, lol, let me know. And Here’s my opinion about series;
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First of all, art is good and characters are generally good too . Though i prefer romance as sub-plot more because when it become main plot, it has cliches. I think this story make certain post too quick, like characters moving on, changing mind and growing and falling in love happened to fast, to the point i find it unrealistic. Though, i would still say this story is far better than most romances, at least.
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Season 1; I think this one was my less interested in. I hate love triangle and misunderstandings, and all that fake boyfrien thing so cliche but also, i really didnt root for main couple since Jaemin and Bomi had a thing. And i thought what Bomi did is so unfair to Seounhi, Jaemin and Jinyoung, it was really frustrating because i think it was selfish act so. And i kinda felt sad about it and i wasnt big fan of Jinyeong and his brutal honesty and rudeness. He is cute but dude needs to learn some manners. But other than that, they look good together so i didnt really hate it. But i kinda get bored and forced myself to continue. And another problem with this one is the way Bomi described her feelings for Jaemin and Jinyoung. She says she feels more comfortable with Jaemin while to her, Jinyoung is unexpected, make her explode etc...I mean, actually love is all about feeling comfort, not unexpected events or excitement, thats more like lust and crush but we can also say love is different to anyone so. The fact that she fall in love with Jinyeong cause he is more rude while Jaemin was just kind...I mean, she just said she fell in love with Jinyoung because she felt more comfortable with his honesty at last scene of spring season, just like she said before when she talked with Jaemin.
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Season 2; This one might be my favorite. Ironically, summer is my favorite season too. At first, i thought it was gonna be Jaemin x Somang but it turn out to be about Hamin and Somang. And you might say, Hamin is also rude to her so i wouldnt like it but actually, i love them together a lot. Their interaction happens so naturally and its also funny. Also sad. Jaemin and Somang making connection together is also very nice too. Something i didnt like, ‘its everyone’s fault but noone’s fault’ speech. Like , i get what she was trying to say but honestly, it is Hamin’s parents and school’s fault for him ending up like that. They are responsible for what happenned to Hamin. Its nowhere near to Jaemin and Somang, they were innocent. Also i wish story showed Jaemin’s tension building up in spring season, it would be better. Btw, i also like the fact that Hamin didnt kill himself because he was just in darkness but because he witnessed the light he couldnt reach make him suicide because thats how mental illness works. We dont feel miserable until we saw some people have better. Thats so realistic. And as last, i wish Jaemin and Hamin didnt look too similar. I mean, they look like twins, i feel weird when i see him with Somang and others lol. And this also the season i started to warm up to Seonhui and other mcs because they were kinda annoying at start/first season.
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Season 3; This one might be my second favorite. At first i was so sure that i wouldnt like it because Gaeul’s revenge plan and using his feelings, also the fact that he was kinda related to her bullying but i actually liked it because they were so good together. The chemistry...between serious mature girl and kinda silly dense boy. My only issues would be she became too comfortable with someone who is indirectly related to her bullying, like that kind of discomfort dont go that easiely. And bully girl's plan was too silly and it got destroyed too quickly, it was kinda unrealistic. And even though Gauel was already comfortable with Subin, what was the point of them breaking up? I wish at least we saw her discomfort with Subin’s presence so it would make more sense that her wanting a little time and space. And one more thing, i hate the idea that Subin had to take care of that bully kid, just because he was indirectly related to his bullying as child....because i disagree. He doesnt have to be friends with him/them, after all they did. Another couple of the autumn season, i actually ship Jaemin and Seonhui more but i kinda warmed up with the idea of Seonhui and Jaehyeon more at the end of fall season and winter season. Like, i kinda like them too because they are cute together.
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Season 4; And the winter season. I was waiting for this one since the beginning to the point sometimes i couldnt focus on others because how can i, when there is a bullying at the background? So messed up. But i was actually disappointed with this season. Because even though, i am glad to see other main characters with happy moments, we hardly get Dongchae as main character. He deserved more screentimes, more narrative but he was like a side character in his own story. I was also very dissapointed in Jaemin in this season. He literally lost his brother because of bullying but he saw someone else is also dealing with it and he said its none of my business and only interested in because he fell in love with his sister....Eunchae is good girl, i get it but your brother is being bullied and you have time for romance with random dude you just met? It was actually frustrating to read because Dongchae was suffering to the point that he was planning to kill himself while everyone is being lovey-dovey. It was painful to read. Though, i love his connection with Hamin and everyone coming together to save him from suicide. But instead of last minute speech before he was about to kill himself, we could’ve get more effort. Because you cant change someone who wants to kill himself’s mind that easiely. I wish we saw all that small efforts for Dongchae and that saving scene would be the last one, the one that finally reach Dongchae’s hearth but it all happenned one time. Until that moment they all (later Jinyoung’s friend too) ignored him when they know what was happening, so it was so annoying and disappointing but generally, ending is good. I didnt really ship Eunchane and Jaemin, Gyuri and Dongchae etc. And i ship Somang only with Hamin, not with glasses friend of Subin. And i am glad that Subin and Gaeul meet again and end up together. Anddddd i must admit i love the speech of ‘if you dont know how to love yourself, i will teach you’. That was amazing.
This is all but there might be things i forgot to say so for now, thats it. Despite some of the issues etc, i did have good/sad/emotional etc times too. So i think it was worth to read and give it another chance so again, thanks for rec. it to me.
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toestalucia · 1 month
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(person with oarlyegrande obsession) idk if ill end up talking about all the white day lines i noted for myself but i DO wanna talk about alliahs
Alliah: I suppose I'll keep working at it. Perhaps we'll be able to open a patisserie together one day. That was a joke, of course. The patisserie part, not the working at it part.
Alliah: What? You've been practicing too? To open our patisserie? I told you that was a joke. We can't just— Wait, I see… You're talking about once we grow old, aren't you? We'll have to step down at some point after all. After we leave everything to our successors and retire, we open a little patisserie together… Not a bad idea. But to think that you were planning that far ahead… I'll have to step up my game.
because these are sooooooo cute LOL i am not a alliah/captain person, and while gran doesnt have anything against her, the entire thing was way too political & way too forced + uh. they dont want the king role anyway, give it alliahs mom instead, they were fine forcibly accepting it & the kings eye due to all the circumstances around it but longterm...no way...............get them out of there (theres a topic in grans personal conflicted feelings against istavion & how true king led it, regardless of his reasons. since those reasons directly fkd up grans family like.....LOL dad mightve made sure gran wouldnt set out with revenge in their heart but theyre not about to be besties with tau'luk or anything
i do think gran pulling the wife-card whenever they want to get out of anything would be funny tho. sorry im engaged i have to leave. the white day login story where they asked about ppls ideal proposals but its gran going ya u meet her father and he says hand in marriage right now and u cant say no
BUT i do think its cute to see them talk about settling down etc LOL like to me personally thats a huuuuge thing for gran to consider, like i dont take ones like these superseriously, and if i do its more in a '(gran voice) haha wouldnt it be funny if-' because they DO like alliah, just not enough to make a political marriage work. even less so when its istavion. alliah and pholia u r great but if they get too involved with istavion like that they dont think they can face their own father confidently. not that i think dad'd hate it (baragona and walfrid are both luminary knights now which is SO funny)
i dont know i just think the lil part of retiring........opening a little shop........its cute........i think its rlyyyyyyyy cute......... + with how alliah talks about her dad & how her wind fate eps goes i T_T just very much like it when she talks about things like this casually. dual alliah pholia unit NOW
Alliah: (When I was in that man's room to clean it in preparation for (Captain)'s arrival... I felt lonely. And if I felt that way, about even a parent I hardly shared an emotional bond with... The thought of seeing (Captain) return to find no one left—no one but a political marriage partner—is too much to even bear. So... is this for my own sake, or that of others? Good luck detangling that one, me.)
LIKE THIS LINEEEE ALLIAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 'what reason have i to get so involved' buddy thats the person who didnt hesitate to jump off an island to save you, even at the cost of themself falling down the sky instead. i think theres something to unpack in there
i almost talked about cains fate eps again but u should read grand cain's intro fate its on repeat in my mind at all times. like. ? cain who stopped at the last second............'if only i had taken one more step'........my dude. (is obsessed with it cuz in his sr he's the one whos reckless and captains the one who runs after to protect him)
anyway i rly like wind alliahs fate eps actually. i like her laughing. i like the difference in how she was used to things with her dad vs how things are when captain&co are in that room.
Alliah: (The one who, with nothing to gain, risked everything to save my life... And—though it not be by choice, and in name only—joined my family... Despite it all, is here treating me like family, as naturally as the sun. And as my blood relatives have each disappeared, one after the other... So that's why. It's because this made me happy. Even if we are bound by not blood nor vows, I still want to be there for (Captain). If not as spouse, as partner; as family.)
;-; (rmbrd this is at a time when pholia is travelling on her own, tau'luk resigned the throne to captain, and she doesnt even rmbr her mom thanks to the otherworld....
like both her and the attendant laughing when captain lyria vyrn io goes 'seconds plssssss' makes me ssoooooooo happyyyyyyYYYY. the casualness in the crew.....the bonds.........the family.........i think its so lovely
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cpunkwitch · 9 months
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answering my questions p2
[pt: answering my questions p2]
ask game 2 (link)
whats the most recent encounter of ableism you've had, online or irl?
my dad calling my condition "just labels" when i told him my mom and i suspect i have arthritis. "you guys and your labels, you liike labels too much"
2. whats the worst encounter of ableism you've had, online or irl?
unsure what the worst one would be, they all suck imo. i guess any ableism coming from my dad, because hes my dad so it tends to hurt the most coming from him.
3. whats the funniest encounter of ableism you've had, online or irl?
tried to think of a few things but they werent so funny so im not sure. maybe my dad saying he though i was an old lady when he first saw me with my cane picking me up from college last year?
4. whats something an ableist said that stuck with you and for what reason?
i cannot remember anything specific
5. whats something you want ableds to understand?
main point: ask consent before daring to touch anyones belongings especially mobility aids and not every disabled person will have the same limitations and experience with their disabilities. we arent inspiration porn, we are human beings functioning differently from you.
some people will be okay with you moving their cane aside or something AS LONG AS YOU ASK and keep it within reach of them. some people in a wheelchair can walk or use other aids on different days, some people dont use any any aids but still cant do th e same activities you do let alone they way you do them for the same length of time. some only use aids on rare days, some have perfect use of their legs, some have to have assistance with mundane tasks, so on and so forth.
a disabled person in the olympics, competing in a sport, creating things while in a wheelchair or walking with a cane etc are not there for you to go "wow so amazing youre so strong and brave im so proud of you for doing this despite your disability" they do it for them, with their disability and never for your degrading "positivity". you wouldnt say that if they werent disabled, why arent you saying congrats to the others who do the same thing as them too? is it just because youre singling them out for being disabled? fuck off with that.
6. got a story involving ableism that you like to share/feel like sharing/find amusing? can be yours or someone else's story.
likely have tonnes of stories about my parents ableism. if you prompt me i can probably some up with something to talk about but sometimes i need specific prompts like "your parents reaction to your first mobility aid?"
specifically ones that i find amusing though? normally ones that arent mine and they came from either youtube readings of tumblr or reddit posts, story times or someone pissing off my mom.
i do remember when i walked into the dollar store the cashier asked what happened when she saw my cane and i went "oh i was born with a defect in my spine :D" and watched her deflate with a quiet "oh.." what were you expecting?? how is that question ever not awkward?
7. dumbest or funniest question someone asked you about your condition and/or aid?
answered in 6 i guess
8. if you dont have one, do you think you could benefit from a service animal? if so, what animal would you like?
therapy, or emotional support cat or rabbit? i cant do dogs, im terrified of dogs. cats and rabbits i could handle. im actually unsure what else there is but iv looked into getting an esa a while ago and the only reason my mom said no no matter how many times i bargained is because we live in too small of a house thats constantly a mess.
im never allowed to get a rabbit while i live with her, she hates them ever since one horny rabbit years ago bit her leg.
parents were really mean about me wanting a bunny rabbit and im still holding it aganst them.
9. do you have an ideal mobility aid or ideal disability aid in general?
easy to move wheelchair, easy for me anyway. one with a no handles so no one can grab them. maybe a basket or something on it too idk, that way everything not in my lap or in my bag hanging off the side or something? idc if its motorized or not tbh
when im finally out of my crappy parents house, i'll look into gettingone.
10. whats something you wish ableds would stop doing/do less of?
asking dumb questions and touching our stuff without permission
11. whats something you wish ableds would do more of?
hold doors open regardless of ability, regardless if they have a mobility aid or not. treat people the fucking same.
12. whats something in the community you dont see talked about enough?
i know its talked about in other places but i dont actually run into the discussion much, people talking about living with an able-bodied partner or another phys disabled partner while being disabled themselves and what its like/what to expect etc.
i do plan on eventually moving in with someone and id like to hear more stories about home life with roommates or partners.
13. have you ever tried out someone else's mobility aid before?
i once used my brothers crutches when i was maybe 4? dont fully remember why he had them but i remember that day i picked them up. it was an xmas party.
14. whats something thats supposed to be an accessible accommodation but just turns out to be more of a hinderance for you and why?
i used to have an answer for this and i dont remember what it was.
15. whats something you see thats overhyped in regards to disability or cripplepunk?
overhyped/overrated imo? yet another question i no longer remember my answer for jfc who's taking my memories? /cj
i remember there was something that was talked about a lot that was really not worth all the hype to me but i guess since the talk of it died down and i stopped seeing it in the tags/on my dash i completely forgot what it was specifically.
im a very "out of sight out of mind" person..
16. whats something that you see people talk about constantly in the community and are now tired of?
answered in 15 ig?
17. have you ever made characters with disabilities? if yes, tell us about them and their disability?
oh yeah lots, which book or fandom shall i start with?
off the top of my head theres "escape", "the adventurers" and "afterwards", maybe even "the four witches", original books of mine. as for fandom related characters, my oc macey comes to mind first. shes a marvel/avengers oc (in general not just mcu). im happy to talk about any of these, you can even ask if i have a character with a specific condition, i probably have a dnd npc or two from one of my campaigns who have it if none of my book or fandom oc's have it.
i like character creation..
18. what are your favourite disability headcanons?
about everything i post to @/beecanons and @/your-fave-is-crippled that isnt expressly canon, and the stuff i plan on posting.
19. whats a disability you want to see more or better representation of/for?
honestly my first look at anemia in media was vampire knight and diabolik lovers... please give me better rep.. i need to see more anemic characters that arent just "whoa im dizzy" and "oops passed out cuz a vampire drank my blood"
20. free space!
feel free to ask me to elaborate/expand on, clarify or just ask whatever you'd like, my inbox is alway open!
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dcotst81407 · 11 months
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oc autsim? (gentle skies phantoms awakkening GHOST EYES OCS????????????? ocs dfor any other fandom omori ocs)
ok look. i can barely autism about anything relating my ocs because i made them. icannot psychically feel inlove about them like other peoples characters.
ok now im allowed to autism about them now. okokok hear me out i know that gentle skies is the most well loved and cared about story and thats for good reason! id love to make make a full blown comic about it one day :3 but i really want to write the story 1st to be able to get feed back on the story and make sure i dont portray mental illness + abuse in an insensitive way. specifically i need to not make any excuses for cloud since i know hes my favorite character :(( though i need to do a lot of research on schizophrenia and narcissism. the othe mental illness will be partly from my personal experiences (since i do have them) but ill still research other perspectives. ough i just love cameron too!! i love making silly brat characters with fucked up views on love (compliments of cloud of course!) literally every characters trauma circles back to cloud. i think i could autism about cloud because of how fucked up i made him. honestly i made him like this before i even read ghost eyes but of course now that I've read it and found out so much about it he very much reminds me of ben. ive been writing cloud pretty similarly to him and hes a good reference to a bad person that gets no redemption imo. as for raymond godddd i dont know hes like maybe one of the most trauma heavy character ive ever made and at first it was in poor taste and i feel like i wouldnt have portrayed it correctly. god i need to do so much research for him. like i love ray trust me hes just a little yoinky sploinky. SOOOO actaully like hes basically like my best character next to cloud god i love him so much omgogm im not THAT proud about his story + design but of course i could always change and fix him (though his dead mother will always be apart of him <333333 his supposed to even reassemble him for purposes i wish not to elaborate on currently :3) OH FUCK DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE ENTIRE DYNAMIC THOSE FUCKERS HAVE oh boy i have such a thing for exploring abusive relationships this might be because i myself have been in a few!! personally the healing part is meant to be the last part though writing that is gonna be the hardest thing ill have to do since healing from relationships like specifically cloud and raymond is one of the hardest things some people go through. BUT ALL TYPES OF ABUSE IN RELATIONSHIPS ARE HORRIBLE AND IM SUPER AWARE OF THAT!! ermmmm ok yeah brain empty can talk about gentle skies anymore :33
OK PHANTOMS AWAKENING. ohhhmymmyy god donot get me started I LOVE THE PHANTOMS SO MUCHHHHH THEYRE THE SILLIES!! ok so like i specifically made luciel and veronica before the others!! luciel having the same story and veronica having something different!! veronicas 1st back story still had something to do with their lover killing them but instead of the poisoning. i think it was more like sirens current one. so like being murdered like. a stabbing, something more grotesque. i remember before i knew what to use them for back in 2018 it was canon that those two were dating in the afterlife. but nowadays they dont interact like that. something that i havent mentioned in the phantoms awakening is that the phantoms have markings that relate to their deaths. they have past designs but i obviously hate those a lot since i had no idea how to design characters back then, im not saying i can now but its atleast decent! after those two were made like in 2019 i made siren! she had the story that veronica currently has. i. dont.... know why i changed them but i think its because i love siren more that she got a better more dramatic death :3 after siren was made... SYNTHIA WAS MADEEEEE!!! my favorite phantom god shes just the best!!! she was made in the beginning of 2020 when fnf was popular i specifically remember that because they had a skid and pump shirt when i first made them (cringes and dies) synthia has had the same story her entire lifetime and i do not want to change it ever! i think the specific thing that curses them to being a phantom is the exact time and date they die. theyre all basically ghosts that arent happy with their deaths and are pissed with it in the end. none of them truly remember how they died but they all have unresolved issues, i think they all haunt junichi to make him find each of their deaths. i would talk about junichi but hes like. the worst character!! he has NO reason to be that pathetic!! i think he needs a redesign + a new story. this universe relates a little bit to gentle skies but like only like two characters from gentle skies appears in this
as for other fandoms i mostly have the death note ones (lavender, deshaun, eva, X, advil, blue and travis!!) but honestly! theres not much to say about them!! and then theres my one baldis basics oc (they were made in 2018 i will not take criticism) OHOH AND MY OLD UNDERTALE OCS (i have like 4 maybe? theyre all bad but i will keep them dear to my heart) andd that might be it!!
I DONT HAVE OCS FOR GHOST EYES OR OMORI IM SORRY
THANK U FOR LETTING ME AUTISM LINK THAT MEANS A LOT
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ftmharrypotter · 2 years
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so ive got a few ideas about what to toss into this fic, cannibalizing some ideas from an old fic idea of mine.
warning possible spoilers ahead - the again maybe not maybe thisll grow into its own thing.
sorting
Ron is in hufflepuff. i could and have written essays justifying this decision but like it sucks and im not going to anymore ron WILL have something to say about why he's in hufflepuff though and it will be short and sweet and to the point and okay fine i WILL say that Ron is exceedingly loyal... to those he perceives as loyal to HIM. every time he acted out it was because of a betrayl in his eyes and he always came around. like that was the POINT of his character
Hermione is in ravenclaw. im not saying she isnt brave just that i think that self determination played a large roll in putting her in Gryffindor
Neville is in Gryffindor. he deserves it okay
harry is in slytherin. MOSTLY because i want to explore ambition not being evil and i want to give harry ambition because he deserves it
the hogwarts houses being united for once like damn
Plot points
okay this sections a little vauge but
i think i want draco to show an interest in harry later on but its not an end game ship just a showing that draco sees harry as a girl as another way hes pigheaded. not that i dont like draco in leather pants as a trope just thats not what i want to do right now. may may a spin off where drarry is the point though because im a sucker
i think i want harry to honestly look at transition options and then decide theyre not for him. or some are but some aren't. medically transitioning is not mandatory okay?
i MIGHT put harry on the ace spectrum but then again i might not. i THINK i might make him demi if i do specifically so some things make more sense.
i THINK i want to keep ginny/harry end game for this run through specifically because i dont think being trans SHOULD change anything really about the story but of course it will because otherwise it wouldnt be interesting and theres other things i want to explore
Possibly voldemort getting his body back through shenanigans and then teaching at the school
snape walking the fine line between giving a damn about lillys child and being an absolute son of a bitch. idk that i can pull that one off tbh
IF voldypoo does teach at the school itll be because of a scene im 1000% sure everyone will hate but i feel is... not necessary but like. idk. would happen. id probably make a spin off of that ship too because once again im a sucker. ill read almost anything so why wouldnt i write it?
morell be added as i think of it but feedback would be nice. i know im not going to get it but still.
Notes on gender
im trans. this story doesnt reflect my experience 1000% but it does borrow from my experience. it may not be accurate to your experience BUT i have seen a few fics where the transition is covered differently. from magically easy to just as much of a struggle as it is in the muggle world. i HAVENT as of yet seen anything like what i plan to write
which includes doubt/ imposter syndrome. which includes not fully transitioning. dysphoria that comes and goes based on circumstances rather than constant - so perhaps more largely social than physical. which includes self misgendering and self push back.
On race and racism
jkr is not only a terf but theres been a lot of complaints about her works being racist. i cant speak on that much though i do see the very valid concerns raised and will try to mitigate what i can as best i can. if i could do better somewhere or i make a mistake feel free to tell me
i LOVE the head cannon that Harry is half Indian. but people put a lot of thought and work into their baby names and i could not in good conscience just pick a random indian name to use. im still going to say Harry is half Indian but he wasn't raised that way because drusleys so when i get around to describing him he wont look like daniel radcliff
i LOVE the head cannon that Hermione is black. im keeping it.
on cannon
cannon is more of a guideline than an actual rule.
i read and re read the books growing up avidly but its been years since i read them fully and ive read a LOT of fanfiction in the past. i may get things wrong. feel free to point it out but i cant guarantee ill fix it.
this has gotten long so ill kill it here for now
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Drinking buddies!!!!!
Hmmm ummm, why is Kakashi your fav? Gush anout the boy XD
I do not remember why it chose him! sometimes i see characters and just know they are mine, you know? I can trace a lot of other characters I liked back to kakashi, but why it was him first I dont know. I guess he was just very cool you know? And i liked cool. but over time of course i can pinpoint things i love about him. narratively he is insanely important, a turning point around the whole story. I did not nknow this for sure when I reread the manga, that the was so insanely important to the narrative (later on too) but my god im glad he is (even tho it was painful). But outside of that. I think he is strong and wonderful and loyal and protective and supportive and he is funny and dorky and childish but only with people that he loves and trusts. he was slandered for so many years as someone who does not mind his comrades dying and he just kept going on, tho he hated himself. ultimate rolemodel tbh. i dont mind aus in which he gives up on konoha and moves on but i loveee that he did not, he could have so easily broken apart from it and he very nearly did but he was so loved anyway, by his friends, that he they wouldnt let him. I wanna cry just thinking about it that he thought he is worthless and all the while he was thinking he was worth nothing he just got all these friends that loved and adored him and would have died for him if he had asked. and then the students! all three of them and sai that he cherished so much though he wasnt even reall yan adult at the time (he was around the age i am now and still he was so good at it). never did he belittle thme or push them aside, he stood for sakura when she loved sasuke despite it all, she stood with naruto when his convictions were all over the place and he resolved to help sasuke even if that endangered himself and he trusted sai SO QUICKLY because he knew tenzo and tenzo was good. I just think of how in the war for a short amount of time his teacher and his best friend were back and then they both LEFT again and he was the only one left AGAIn and still all he worried about was his students and the village he had sworn to protect and oh my god im so emotional about this can you tell?
Also he is so handsome??????????????? like ?????????????????????????? his voice ????????????? his face??????? his hair??????????? i know you hc him different than me and thats all good all good but i just wanna indulge in fantasies sometimes
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kylosgenesis · 3 years
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Teardrops on Fire
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Synopsis:
Steve Rogers is the last Alpha of the an almost extinct Lycan pack. With only less than 100 members left. Steve must produce an heir to ensure the species survival and reduce the chance of attacks from others. Omegas are rare, and betas have a hard time producing children. Steves reality is finally setting in as his obligation of producing an heir faces a major set back.
Reader is the last suitable omega to mate with Steve, due to the fear of her daughters fate in the pack, her mother kept her hidden from the pack after her own exile. Only her mother, and Bucky's family know of her existence. Bucky is Steve's right hand man, and the packs best warrior! He and the reader developed a friendship and bond over the years, but age forced them to become distant.
What happens when she presents and her first heat cycle comes? Her body is in excruciating pain and a strong fever quickly overcomes her body. Facing the fear of her daughters possible death, her mom calls on the only person who can save her at this point, Alpha Steve! Bucky and the alphas friendship will be tested. The reader will be faced with her love for Bucky or her duty to the pack.
Unbeta'd: There might be spilling mistakes ( English is my second language so please be kind)
Authors note: We've made it past the filler chapters. I cant wait for the next chapter. You know when you come up with a whole story just because of one little scene on your head? thats next chapter for me. We'll be making a little time jump.
*Other Authors note at the end*
Chapter 7: I really wish I hated you
You woke up early for your morning jog, excited about your first day having a job.
When you heard Natasha mention she needed extra help at the pub, you didn’t know what possessed you to volunteer, but you were determined to have as much of a normal life as possible and this was your first step.
The air was wet from last night's rain, and the temperature had started to drop enough to require a jacket on your runs.
You finished the run in record time, and got ready for your first day. Thankfully Wanda had given you some of her old clothes, and Natasha was kind enough to let you borrow some of hers or else you would have been in the same worn clothes you'd arrived in. Steve had offered to take you shopping yesterday, but you didn’t feel comfortable with the thought. For 19 years you’d taken care of yourself and your mom, you were strong , and you didnt wanna forget that.
It’s incredible how much you’d let the past weeks change you, you felt out of place, out of mind. But having something for yourself again was once step closer to feeling your old self again.
You finished getting ready, and started coffee for Nat who would be waking up any moment now as her grouchy morning self. Just a few days with her had let you know she wasn’t the friendliest in the morning. You laughed at the mug on the counter that had the words ‘Don’t talk to me till I’ve had my coffee’ in bold letters. It fit her perfectly! Whoever gifted it to her hit the nail in the spot.
Despite not being too familiar with coffee before, it became a comfort to you. You developed a live hate relationship with the liquid, by itself it was the most disgusting thing you’d ever tasted. And you had made tea out of wild mushrooms once, so that was saying a lot. Once Nat introduced you to French vanilla creamer, you’d become addicted to it.
Setting up the two mugs on the counter you prepared your cup, before listening for the footprints coming from down the hallway.
Even with morning hair, and a red face from recently washing. Nat was easily the most beautiful woman you’d ever seen. She was all and every one of the main characters in your favorite books.
“Good morning, Nat” you handed her the coffee mug, as she still looked half asleep.
She took a couple of more sips of the liquid before you saw her soul come back into her body. She leaned against the counter while swinging and finishing the contents of her mug.
“Someone’s excited” she said with a small laugh.
“ohhhh really? What gave it away? “ you had finished your coffee, and were just pacing around the kitchen waiting for Nat.
“Well... you’re usually a morning person, but today you’re even more of a morning person than usual.” She set her mug in the sink , and reached for the hair tie in her wrist as she neatly gathered her hair into an effortless ponytail.
“ I don’t know how you do it, but I hope it will rub on me at some point” you both laughed.
You were almost ready to leave when Nat reentered the kitchen with a hairbrush and some pins.
“Nat , if that's your way of saying I need to fix my hair we’re going to be late, I’m sure it’s fine. “
She motioned you to the seat near the counter and you sat down. Trying to protest against Natasha would get you nowhere.
“First of all you’re never late if you own the place” she started slowly brushing the ends of your hair as you relaxed at the gentle massage of the brush.
“Second, you’ve been wearing the same ponytail since I met you. You have a new life, and a new job.” You felt her take a small strand from the front of your hair, and pin it to the back, and the same motion on the other side.
“ My mom always said when you look good, you feel good! And I want you to be a strong confident woman” she put all the products on the counter as she took your face upon her hands.
“ You deserve to be happy and besides… you might bump into anyone in this town. So you better look good” she laughed
“I'm telling you, those old ladies can be mean!” Nat made her best impression of one of them ”back in my day we wouldn't leave the house unkept… no alpha would ever settle for that. I don't know what's with this new generation” she sounded so funny you couldn't help but snort as you broke in laughter.
When you both regained your composure she forms loose strands around your face “ ohhh shit, now we might actually be a little late. Come on!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As you arrived at the pub, there was already a white truck in the parking lot. Nat took the keys out of her purse, and tuned the lock. The place certainly looked different without the lights or people, but it still felt cozy to you. Coming from the back was a faint light, and you could hear some thrashing noises. Nat didn’t seem bothered, so she just tuned in the rest of the lights and you flooded her to the kitchen. His smell hit you before he even rounded the corner. He came into the kitchen holding a large box that blocked his view.
“Hey Bucky” you waved at him. Causing him to drop the box. The sound of metal falling as it hit the floor.
You and Nat just stared at bucky's confused gaze. Before Nat cleared her throat.
“I should’ve told you yesterday, but she’ll be starting to work with us. I thought it would be a good idea for her to get to know everyone.”
Bucky bent down to pick the spilled contents of the box, you followed after gathering a few of the metal tools.
“I hope it’s okay with you?” You asked him, not really knowing how he'd respond.
“ Yeah, it’s fine by me” he said with a nervous tone as you handed him the pieces from your hand, and you felt a current run down your spine at the contact of his hand against yours, which he quickly removed.
You all exited the kitchen towards the bar where he placed the box
“I couldn’t sleep last night, so I came over. Thought maybe I could clean the inventory room, but I noticed the beer tap wasn’t working“
“It seemed to be working just fine yesterday, Barnes”
“By just fine, you mean extremely slow pull time? “ he turned to face nat caring the large box out of the room with you both following suit.
“ then it works like a charm ” he made the snarky remark towards Nat, but you couldn’t help to notice his eyes were on you the whole time.
“Fine, but don't break it more” she pointed at him. “ last time you tried to fix something the AC was down for three days”
“And you're never gonna let me forget that wont you?
“Nope” she was already walking away from him as she responded.
“I’ll have it running by opening” he kneeled in front of the small fridge, under the beer tap. .
“Who’s gonna order a beer at 10 in the morning?” You asked, watching over his shoulder as he tweaked with the mechanisms of the fiter on the inside
“ You’d be surprised!” He looked back at you, noticing you already holding the wrench he was looking for.
“Thanks” He smiled, and took the wrench from you. You hadn’t seen him like that in 10 years, he seemed relaxed!
“Howd you learn to do that?” he turned back to face you surprised at your choice of tool.
“ the fridge broke down a couple of times on us, so i learned from taking it apart and back together...after a while you get good at mechanics” you laughed
I still wouldnt trust me to fix it though. Id rather you take the blame if it doesnt work”
“Playing devils advocate now? “ he was flushing water through the hose system before turning on the machine again. You watched attemptively at his concentrating gaze.
“No… id just rather stay on Nat’s good side.”
“Good choice! She punches hard” he seemed relax with you. It made you feel tingly inside as you both had a sense of normality after 10 years.
“Not as hard as me!“ you reapplied
“Definitely not. I still get phantom pains from those” you both laughed.
You patted his shoulder as you got up to Shadow Nat.
Bucky grabbed your arm before you turned to leave. It's nice to see you! … you look... “ he eyed you head to toe and you felt his gaze linger on your hair “ you look beautiful!”
You felt drawn to him, just being around him brought you comfort in a way you couldn’t explain.
You both felt a tug as you left with Nat, turning back to take a glance at him and noticed he had his eyes glued on you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once the rush after lunch was over you were wiping down the tables. You felt the exhaustion of the job begin to take over.
You knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but compared to your daily tasks back at the cabin. It was a different kind of exhaustion.
“Don't quit on me just yet” Nat said as she voiced a tray of cups to the back.
“Not yet, but I definitely didn’t know how much people can drink before 3 o’clock” you both laughed as you wiped down the last few of the tables. So far you’d just used the tap, or poured some easy drinks. As the day got slower, Nat promised to train you on some specialty stuff.
You held on to the table as you felt a dizzying feeling deep through you, then you felt a pair of arms behind you.
“Here!” Bucky placed a cup of water in front of you as you eagerly reached for it and frank it entirely in a few gulps.
“Thank you, I should probably start keeping track of how much I owe you every time you rescue me”
You turned back to face him.
“How did you know?”
“ I could feel it through the..” He didn’t have to say it but you knew what he was referring to.
“Ohhh so that’s what that one is” You looked amused as you stared at him.
“I can’t always tell what the bond is trying to say, but I guess being an alpha just makes it easier to interpret ” he was starting to walk away as the words where leaving his mouth
“Is that why you were avoiding me ?” He stopped on his tracks.
“ I wasn’t avoiding you!” He turned to you.
“It kinda seemed like you were.” you stood your ground and placed your hands crossed around your chest in an effort to appear more composed.
“The past weeks I’ve just thought of you, and this bond! “ you pointed at your neck “ I had this voice that kept telling me I wasn’t good enough.”
You felt the pent up feeling of fear, sadness, and frustrations of a few weeks finally leave.
“You know Bucky, I can’t tell what the bond is trying to say, cause I haven’t spent enough time with you to even know how to read you.” You felt the tears stream down your face as the knot on your throat cleared
Bucky walked towards you pulling you into an embrace, just as the tears began to stream down your face. His smell calming you, and his heartbeat merging with yours as he allowed himself to let go of his fear.
“I will always be inclined to take care of you “ he said, burying his head into your hair. While you continued to embrace him.
“Not just because of the bond, but because I loved you more than anything once” you felt your heart stop at his words.
“I thought I hurt you, and I couldn’t forgive myself. But I realized I was running away. That's why I was staying away! “ he lifted your head, and you felt the honesty of his words when you looked into his eyes.
“I missed you ... you know all those years I thought I did something wrong.” You said with choked words.
“ I loved y...”
You both heard the sound of shattering glass. You responded first separating yourself from Bucky and running towards the source. Bucky cursed under his breath, and ran after the source as well.
You walked into the kitchen to see a couple of bottles shattered on the floor. The liquid contents inside spilled all over the floor. You leaned over and started picking up the large pieces of glass.
“You guys alright? “ Nat stormed the kitchen not knowing what she’d find.
“Yeah, we're fine ” Bucky said, examining the room. “We were in the main room, and heard the crash, we thought you were injured”
“Peter must’ve put the bottles on the edge... that boy is going to be the death of me. I'll go get the mop ” you saw Nat had retreated to the pantry.
“Here, let me help you” Bucky was helping you scoop the pieces of glass.
“Careful!” You looked at Bucky and laughed at his worry “ Buck, I’ve been skinning prey with knives shapelier than this since I was 5 ... I think I can handle some glass.”
He was looking at you in awe, you realized after the words had left your mouth “ I haven’t heard you say Buck in a long time” He smiled at you.
“ ohhh that’s cause you used to say it made you think of deer” you were picking up the last pieces.
“ I was a growing boy... always hungry”
He helped you up, and you noticed he used his metal arm to do so.
He noticed you staring, he was wearing a tight black t-shirt. It was short sleeved which you hadn’t seen him wear yet.
“Does it hurt?” You traced your fingers through the cold metal.
“ Not physically, sometimes I forget it’s there” he admired the way your eyes fell fascinated with the metal segments and the mechanism as he flexed.
“Hey, Bucky do you mind cleaning the spill? I’ve got a few minutes, so I’d like to show her some drinks” Nat walked into the kitchen with the industrial mop.
“I got it” he winked at Nat.
He smiled at you as you left the kitchen, and you felt your heart skip a beat at that smile.
You hoped he wasn’t actively trying to spy on you through the bond or else you might be caught in a vulnerable position.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You and Nat collapsed into the couch at the end of a long day.
“ My feet are killing me! “ you massaged the soles of your feet as you eyed Nat get comfortable on the couch.
“ You get used to it!...ohhh gods I can’t wait to shower”
“You say that, but you’re in fact getting more comfortable ” you teased at her.
“I never said I’d shower right now” She threw one of the pillows next to her at you and just as you were about to return the gesture.
Lights lit up the living room from outside as a car approached.You heard a door shutting and the sound of footsteps approaching the house.
“ I’ll go check it out” you stood up and walked to the door, just as someone was about to knock you opened the door.
“Steve, hey how’s it going? “ you felt the same nerves you felt meeting him the first time.
“ Good... good” you could see his breath as he spoke in the cold of the night. His hands were tucked in his jacket pockets.
“Would you like to go on a walk ?” he motioned to the trail along the house.
“Sure!” You hesitantly stepped out of the comfort of Nat’s house and into the cold night. You were still getting to know Steve, so the ambiance still felt awkward around him. You just followed his lead and waited for his next words.
“ I was wondering how your first day went? ... I wanted to stop by, but Wanda needed me at the school” he faced you as you walked together.
“ It went very well! We had actually just gotten home! “ you were cradling your elbows in a hug trying to preserve your body’s warmth from the house.
“It was a lot to learn, but Nat and Bucky made it a lot easier on me” you replied with a small laugh, but noticed Steve’s eyes glued on you. His jaw tensing up at the mention of Bucky from your mouth.
“That’s good...” he noticed you shiver, he took off his jacket and handed it to you. It was a kind gesture. The jacket just smelled like him. You felt his smell overwhelm the faint traces of Bucky.
“Are you excited?“
“ Well yes ....?it’s been really good so far, I can’t wait to get the hang of it” you picked at the strand of hair surrounding your face tucking it behind your ear.
“So he didn’t tell you?” Steve said with a snark
“Tell me what? “ you felt your heart speed up.
“Bucky made a deal with the Wakandan's Coven... they are going to undo the mating. Next full moon you’ll be free again.”
You could tell he was awaiting a reaction, he just crept closer till you could feel his breath in your skin.
You felt lightheaded at his words “ that’s... news”
You felt tears stream down your eyes. Today things had felt like they were always meant to be. Bucky had made you feel like you could trust him.
But he had known, and you fell for it! Once again you felt like a part of someone else's agenda, not your own. Just an omega, in a world of alphas.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Authors Note:
Do you think the bottles were an accident?
Tags:@dottirose @tanyaherondale @iloveshawnieboi @marmite79 @austynparksandpizza @nerdgirljen @exposition-belongs-somewhere @patzammit @connie326 @blessedwedgie
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tastyykpop · 3 years
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𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑢𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛-Final
Pairings: jaemin x reader
Genre: smut, fluff (mostly at the end but it's short 🤠)
<previous>
Warnings: dom!jaemin, brat!reader, brat taming, punishment, overstimulation, edging, face slapping (literally slaps her once), choking (wOw iM sO sHocKeD), hair grabbing, degradation, jaemins gets angrier throughout the story, fingering, finger sucking, praising, unprotected sex, soft sex, y/ns pretty dumb but I think we knew that by now, once again jaemin calls himself nana because shut up
Tag list: @ahgastayzen @allykookiez @wooyugta @dreamlesswonder86 @taetaeismy @nanaysa @patchi-chi @simplicitysbabe @sweetjaemss @huangvibez @kaitherring @xxjaemchenct
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It was obvious how tense and awkward jaemin was the entire time you stayed at his house, which lasted longer than you thought. You stayed for two days, per jaemins request, and you thought what if he's finally angry and decides to break. No, it was the complete and utter opposite. Jaemin was sweet, something you've barely seen when he used to bully or make fun of you before all this happened. He made sure you were okay staying with him another night and took care of you when you weren't hungover.
Did anything special happen though? Nope, just you and jaemin cuddling every so often while binge watching Netflix shows while he sometimes cracked jokes here and there.
It was definitely a sight to see. Even made you wonder if this is what its like to date him.
"Nana," you spoke, jaemin lifting his head off your shoulders to give you his attention, "Get up, we need to go to school."
Jaemin groaned, putting his head down on your pillow like chest and began, "Can't we just skip school?" He whined, "Maybe play a bit too?" Jaemin lifted his chin up, placing it on top of your breasts as he pouted, waiting for you to give into his cuteness.
Wouldn't that be nice- but you weren't going to miss school to mess around with jaemin. No way. You weren't even his girlfriend yet and you were sure his little play thing, seulgi, wouldn't be too happy, shes been calling him since he brought you here.
"No." You grabbed him by his hair and peeled him off your body. Jaemin wasn't very amused by the action.
"Oh i get it." He mumbled, "You want to see jeno, right?"
The question caught you off guard. But jaemin being jealous wasn't unknown to you anymore. He was possessive, that much you knew, and he always found a way to guilt trip you about it.
"I mean, we have been talking a lot more so a lil bit." You smiled, earning an eye roll from jaemin as he got up with nothing else to say and stalked his closet for something to wear. You glanced at your clothes which were actually his. And since you never went back to your apartment to get another outfit, you had to wear what you wore at the party.
Eyes stared into your bare back after you threw off the shirt that covered your body. They lingered, but didn't settle on staying until you slipped the bralette on.
Jaemin was going to comment about it, yet kept his mouth shut because there was no use saying he could give you a t-shirt instead, youd just complain about how it didn't match.
But the skirt was a different story. It was a party skirt, something way too short for school. No wonder jeno liked it. And to be honest, jaemin didn't hate it himself, he'd just rather not have people like jeno staring at you and your thighs. You were his. At least in his head you were.
"Fuck!" You screamed, "My bags at home." Softening your voice, jaemin just about wanted to smack you for scaring the shit out of him. He actually thanked the heavens your bag wasn't here, it gave you a reason to change.
"Let's go to your place quickly before school starts." Jaemin grabbed his things and you nodded, following behind him almost speed walking because of how long his strides were. "And change when we get there too."
You looked down at your fit and hummed, stepping into the car ready for jaemin to go.
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"I don't think I can handle trig anymore." You bit your lip at the paper in hand. Jaemin looked down over your shoulder and almost scoffed. It was the homework due today, of course it was also one of the hardest pages the professor had given the class too, making it ten times harder for you to finish.
"If you had come over these past few nights, you wouldn't be so stressed." Jaemin shrugged.
It was like you knew he would say that with the way you rolled your eyes and crumpled the paper up, "Im actually thinking of dropping that class." You stated.
"Dont." He rested a hand on your shoulder, "Come over later and I'll help you." It wasn't even a question, in fact it was him telling you to do something. Its clear jaemins had enough of you ignoring him and hes also fed up with your complaining. Even wondered why you held out this long.
"But-"
"I'm not taking no for an answer anymore." Jaemin stated sternly as he sighed, stopping in front of your classroom and put his hands in his pocket. "Stop trying to ignore me," he leaned forward, just inches away from your face, "its not working."
"Just because you think its not working doesn't mean its not working...." You tilted your head to the side questioning your own words, "Anyway, you're jealous." Crossing your arms and leaning against the wall, your ego fed off of jaemins glaring eyes.
"Bullshit," jaemin tsked, "why would I be jealous?"
You smirked despite knowing you were playing a dangerous game with him. And jaemins good at playing games, he's done it to you for years.
You took a step forward, ultimately getting closer to his still leaned over figure and said, "You kept staring at jeno and I at the cafe and you had an attitude the entire time. Its obvious you know." Slithering a hand up his cheek, you pinched his smooth skin, "Nanas jealous."
It was an understatement to say jaemin didn't feel shivers go up his spine from your low voice. For once jaemin didn't have anything to come up with. Nothing crossed his mind to tell you that what you saw of him wasn't him being jealous, but that would be the dumbest of lies.
"Quiet for once? That's a first." You snickered at the small shade of red on his cheeks. It was either anger or him actually getting flustered. Either way you still claimed victory for keeping him surprisingly quiet.
Jaemin pulled your hand away from his face and opened his mouth, "Admit that you're purposely doing it then. There's no way you and jeno are magically good friends now. You hate him just as much as you hated me."
"Im not purposely making you jealous," you lied, "And I never hated jeno, just strongly disliked him for being friends with you."
The older almost laughed in your face from how stupid your lie was. "If you want my attention, say it." He smirked, proceeding to push you against the wall behind you without a second thought making you uncross your arms, "Its not hard y/n."
His hands trailed down to your waist, intensly watching your face as you looked around him, afraid that what he'd do will go too far and some students will see a not so innocent sight.
"Youre full of yourself." You inhaled sharply as he leaned forward ever so closely, just barely brushing his lips over yours.
"And you'll be full of nana soon." Jaemin almost closed the space between you with his lips, but someone stopped him.
"Jaemin!!!" Seulgi came running up to jaemin in her cute high heeled shoes. Her hair bouncing perfectly against her back as she pulled him away from you and into a hug, not before she planted a kiss to his lips as if you weren't standing right there, "I haven't seen you in so long, babe. You didn't call." She pouted with more puppy eyes than normal.
You missed the way jaemin growled at her, almost throwing seulgi off him since you were so focused on them kissing. Never did you think you'd witness it either. Something about it made your stomach churn and you couldnt bare stand there for long before walking away, taking zero notice of the way jaemin called out for you.
"Let's get some coffee before the bell rings." Seulgi pulled jaemin, but his eyes still lingered on the door you entered.
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You couldnt stop your mind from racing in class. It was like your mind was playing games on you, telling you that jaemin wasn't in the slightest interested in you and thats why he never answered you, because he was too embarrassed to be seen with someone like you.
But that was only you overthinking.
Obviously jaemin cared for you, he wouldnt have let you stay over his house, tutored you, or be possessive when it came to you. So why did he kiss her back? In front of you too? Was he actually dating her for real?
These questions ran through your head, giving you a mini headache from thinking too hard about it.
It was like you were in high school all over again where everything was dramatic for no reason, well in some aspects you made it this way, but your point still stands.
"Y/n," someone tapped the table repeatedly, bringing you back to reality, "Class is over." jeno looked at you with suspicion but brushed it off thinking you were probably tired.
You glanced around the empty room before looking back at jeno, "Oh...yeah."
"Well uh," he scratched the back of his head, "You should probably get to your next class."
That's the last thing you wanted to do. Jaemin would be there and so was one of seulgis minions that always kept an eye out for anything he did. As annoying as it was, you weren't surprised anymore.
"Im gonna skip."
Jeno grimaced as you stood up and grabbed your things, walking towards the rooms exit as he followed close behind, "You? Skip? What the fuck??"
You stopped in your tracks, jeno almost bumbing into you in the process, "Do I need to spell it out for you or something? S-k-"
"No shut up. Its just shocking that your skipping." Jeno half grinned at the way you stared at him stoically.
"What are you getting at?"
The man before you chuckled, "Im saying youre a goody two shoes and you've never done a bad thing in your life."
You can't say he was wrong, but you also have to admit that you have stepped out of your shell recently and maybe for the better.
"Everyone changes some time in their lives." You pointed out, strolling out of the class to nowhere specific. "Better run to class jeno, dont want the teacher calling you put again."
"Yeah yeah." He eye smiled, giving you a quick pat on the back before saying bye and walking to his class.
You couldnt help but smile at him as he moved further and further away. You had to admit, jeno wasn't as bad as you thought. Not anymore anyway. But as jeno soon disappeared around a corner, you sighed and sauntered to the library where you were going to do your work until class ended.
Students were scattered everywhere in the library, some typing away at their laptops or school computers while others had papers and books sprawled out in front of them. Unfortunately for you, you were going to be the ones with almost any school supply in front of them. And with a sigh and slouched shoulders, you sat at an empty desk near the front of the library, taking your homework out as well as some books.
Normally it wouldn't be a problem for you to focus, but it was stressful with so many things laid out for you. Face palming and groaning quietly at your trig paper, you attempted the first problem which honestly didn't seem too bad, but you weren't always so sure of yourself when doing these kinds of things. Mostly because you second guessed yourself making you pick the wrong answer when you were originally right.
"This is so fucking stupid." You threw your head into your hands, giving up on trying since it was useless anyway. You needed jaemin. He was the only reason you started getting some good grades on your work.
"Whats stupid?"
Speak of the devil.
"The trig home- wait why aren't you in class?" You gazed at him before averting your eyes, not trying to let them linger too long.
Jaemin pulled a chair out and sat closely beside you, raising a brow as you inched away from him. "I could ask you the same thing." He tipped the chair back a little, keeping his eyes locked on the side of your stoic face.
"Im doing something if you can't tell." You snapped, instantly regretting the way your voice raised once you noticed jaemin clenching his jaw out the corner of your eye. But you couldnt help it, you were still frustrated, embarrassed, and jealous from earlier.
"Whats wrong?" Jaemin calmed himself, not wanting to blow up at you.
"Nothing." You ignored his eyes that watched you do out the problem. Probably silently telling you that it was all wrong but you weren't trying to pay attention to him.
"Youre doing it again."
"Doing what? I'm just trying to do my work." After writing your answer down, you checked over tbe work before you smiled to yourself. This had to be the right answer.
"Stop playing dumb." he grabbed your chin, "You know what you're doing."
Wiggling out of his grasp was no use, jaemin managed to move his hand to your jaw to keep you still.
You winced at the sudden squeeze, "I dont know what you're talking about."
Jaemin had enough of this bullshit, now grabbing your neck instead. Your eyes wondered the room hoping no one was paying attention, "Im not playing games with you. Why are you ignoring me again?"
"That's a good question." You looked away and though jaemims grip was starting to hurt more each second, you still found a way to show your disinterest.
Jaemin sighed, letting his hand drop and you inhaled deeply without a second thought. "Whats wrong then?"
"I told you its nothing."
"Bullshit." Jaemin took the pencil out of your hand just as you were about to write, your hand flying up to try and take it back but he pulled away.
"You really wanna know then?" You asked sharply to which jaemin nodded, "You kissed seulgi. Happy now?"
Jaemins mouth fell at your confession. Yes he figured that upset you a bit, but he never thought it was enough for you to ignore him.
"I never even went that far with jeno."
"Never went that far, huh?" He snapped back, shaking his head in disbelief as his face once again was steaming with anger. "Need i remind you how you made out with him at the party. Or were you that wasted and cant remember?"
The new found anger overlapped the previous one with more than just anger, but annoyance. There was no way jaemin was telling the truth, you would never kiss jeno.
"No i didnt."
"Dont tell me you didn't, I fucking saw it." His hand found its way on the table creating a loud bam that startled not only you, but a few kids that even lifted their heads to see what caused the noise. "You were the first one to go that far, so blame yourself before you blame me."
Taking a deep breath, you had to calm down before you said something you'd regret. Knowing jaemin too, you already had something waiting for you at his house.
"I believe you." Jaemin was ready to open his mouth but you were quick and responded, "because i remember." The problem with this answer was because it was untruthful. You already dug yourself a whole from the beginning yet you knew what you were getting yourself into. There was something about playing with jaemins anger that made you go wild.
Determined with your lie, you kept the straightest face like it was proof you recalled that night. Jaemin too was focused only on your face, his hand balling into a fist ever so slowly.
"I remember....he was a really good kisser," you whispered, "And you looked so mad." Snickering away at your words, you placed a hand on jaemins lap and watched his expression go from anger to almost frothing at the mouth.
Bingo. He was too far gone to see through you at this point and this is where you smirked to yourself.
"You're unbelievable." He scoffed, rolling his eyes thinking about how fed up he was, "Lets go."
Despite being told what to do, you sat looking between jaemin and your sprawled out homework. "I have things to do."
Jaemin literally shoved all your papers into your bag, not caring how they crumpled in the small space as you complained and swatted at his arm. Of course though, jaemin payed no mind to it, grabbing your hand and bag before dragging you out of the library.
You fought and struggled to get out of his grip. From the start you knew what you were getting into, that's why you did what you did. Now being dragged to his house it dawned on you that it was time to suffer whatever he had in mind.
"When we get to my house," jaemin locked his eyes with yours as he led you to his car, "We'll study trig, and depending on my mood and your attitude after, I might go easy with the punishment later."
"Im not going over to study and then be punished afterwards." Your voice faltered as you saw a familiar someone walking towards you and jaemin.
Jenos eyes lit up sadistically, smiling at you, telling you to smile back for one reason: to set jaemin off.
You did without hesitation, jaemins hold getting tighter and tighter as he glared at his best friend who walked by, holding the proudest grin on his face.
Once at the car, jaemin shoved you inside the passenger seat, slamming the door before he situated himself in the drivers side. Your eyes watched in annoyance yet you were intrigued. Maybe because you haven't had any action with jaemin since about a week ago.
Resting your head against the headrest, you stared outside the window. There wasn't any way you could hold another conversation with the man, it would only drive your hormones insane.
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Its been thirty minutes and to say you were paying attention would be the stupidest thing ever. every word that jaemin said went in one ear and out the other. Some part of you was purposely choosing to ignore him, but your attention span was almost non existent in the first place. So listening to jaemin talk about trigonometry was only boring you.
You tapped out, playing with your pencil or doodling on the paper. Each time you weren't paying attention, jaemin would ask you to write down the answer or a land a slap right on your thigh. It stung and made up jump with shock in your eyes as jaemin told you the same thing each time: "pay attention." But did you? God no. It was impossible. With the thought of a punishment too, it made your mind run like it was in a marathon.
"Little girl," jaemins voice once again brought you back to reality, "what did nana just say?" You shrugged your shoulders slightly, keeping your head down like you were shy yet you were far from it, holding a small grin on your innocent face.
"I dont know, nor do I care." You finally looked up. Jaemin was none too happy, letting his chest fall.
Shaking his head, he said once more to listen and pay attention.
Jaemin took your pencil so he could write out the problem for you, deciding to be nice even though you weren't returning it. You watched the way his pretty hands flexed with every number or letter he wrote. The subtle veins showing every so often too made you almost drool at the sight. Oh what you would do to have him wrap his hands around your neck again.
"Solve it." Jaemin threw the pencil down in front of you, resting his head in his hand to watch you. But you didn't move, not even a simple budge.
"No."
"Y/n its not that fucking hard, just solve it."
You glanced at the paper then the pencil that laid on the table before grabbing it and snapping it in half.
"Im not doing it." You faked a smile, ready for jaemin to snap just like the pencil.
"You need to pass this class, y/n. Stop messing around and pay attention."
You shot up from your seat, "I. Dont. Care. I'm going home."
It wasn't long before he suddenly stood up too, grabbing you by the hair and threw you on his bed, "Okay you wanna act up?" He hovered over you, pinning your arms down on the soft bed as he straddled your lower half. "I dont get why you continue to act like a brat when you know you're going to be punished. Unless you want it?" Jaemins face was merely inches in front of yours not until you blew into his face and smirked when he flinched and pulled away.
"Ever wonder why I act this way? Your easy to push, I can get in your head and make you get mad so I get exactly what I want." You snickered, "Not to mention its to make you suffer for not answering my question." A hand was placed on his covered chest, rubbing small circles on the fabric of the shirt.
Suddenly, jaemin laughed. Though, it wasn't a joyful one. It was more sadistic and filled with amusement, "How is it making me suffer if you're the one about to be punished?"
"Cuz i still get what I want in the end."
"My dick or my attention?"
"Both."
Jaemnn chuckled dryly, quickly sitting back and tearing your clothes off without a second thought.
You were ready to protest about your clothes until jaemin took matters in his own hands and shoved his fingers nearly down your throat to shut you up.
"Im tired of your voice." He spat, "All you talk is shit."
Whimpering around his fingers, you tried anything in your power to try and pry them out. He never moved back, sticking his fingers deeper and deeper until he heard you gag and whine the best you could. Your throat felt so tight and it was getting harder to breathe. Jaemin didn't care, deciding to just fuck your mouth with his fingers as he started pulling your pants and panties down, lifting his hips up so he can take them off all the way.
"It would be so much nicer if you weren't a brat you know." Jaemin began, easily shoving two fingers inside your dripping cunt, "Nana could've stuffed you full of his cock, made love to you, and made you happy. Instead," his fingers that were buried in your heat, curled and pushed in a certain way that made your eyes roll, "You wanted to be a little bitch."
You drew out a long hum, the pleasure felt so good after pushing jaemin for so long. All his anger was going to this one punishment and you should've felt scared, but you weren't. You were excited and loved every bit of it.
The way he fingered you was almost too surreal. It made your body crumple against his will and he wasn't even fucking you yet.
It was getting harder to breathe being filled by his two fingers. Just barely becoming too overwhelming so you tapped his hand to signal you needed to breathe. Jaemin took his hand out, watching your face to make sure you were okay as you gasped for air.
"Are y-you try-trying to kill me or s-something?" You moaned at one particular hard thrust that made your breath hitch.
"Oh shut up, I know you liked it. Probably imagined my cock down your throat." He bit his lip, taking in the thought of what you would look like on your knees for him before shaking it off.
"I-i was n-not."
Jaemin smirked devishly, scissoring his fingers to stretch you out more, but you kept clenching around him. Your hand grabbed his wrists in a death grip, moans fell from your open mouth and jaemin ate that all up. Loving how your body shook, knowing you were so close.
Right when you felt your orgasm coming, jaemin ripped his fingers out of you, essentially letting your juices flow out. But you didn't cum, no you were just that wet.
Your hips lifted up like you would get friction but there was nothing to get friction from, you looked dumb and pathetic.
"Not fair..." you mumbled, frowning at the annoying smirk on jaemins face.
"Punishments aren't supposed to be fair," he said a matter of factly, pushing your hips back down on your bed as he grazed his fingers over your wetness before pushing back in again.
This time setting a ruthless pace, taking in your fucked out expression.
"Jaemin- please im s-so close." Fidgeting and clawing at his wrists, the orgasm built back up. It got closer, closer, closer. Right there, it was right there, but jaemin took it away from you again.
"God, I love this way more than I should. Breaking a brat is so much fun." His fingers dripped with your arousal. He stared at the strand connecting his fingers. It was so much and so lewd, it should've been embarrassing to you yet it made him want more from you. "How many times should nana edge his pretty girl? Maybe-"
"Fuck you." You cried, ready to take this into your own hands and finish yourself off.
Jaemins hand made a perfect necklace on your neck, tightening his grip on the sides so you felt all his anger, "Thats the last thing I would say if I were you."
"W-what are y-you gonna do? Spank me?" Thinking he actually would if you said that, you were slapped across the face, eyes not staring at jaemin anymore but the wall next to the bed.
"Dont test me anymore, your already in for it." He growled into your ear. Leaving his hand wrapped around your neck, he slipped back inside, this time fucking his fingers into you at an antagonizing slow pace.
You wanted to scream and push him away for being a tease, but you reminded yourself that this is what you wanted, this was what you'll get. You had no idea how long this pain will continue though. All you could think about was cumming. In fact, that was the only thing on your mind as he fingered your tight pussy. The pain of not being able to orgasm was so unbearable, it just about made your eyes tear up. Were you that desperate that you'd cry over it?
"I wanna...c-cum so bad..."
The man above you stared at you in disbelief. He basically just started and you were already a mess.
"You really want to cum that badly?" You nodded hastily, tears at the brink of falling, you couldnt hold it in anymore, "Then apologize for all the shit you put us through. Starting with you ignoring me, fake dating jeno, and purposely pissing me off for the hell of it." Jaemin said with his whole chest. Being able to say it out loud reminded him of everything. From the time you started this crap, to now.
"I-im sorry- I'm so f-fucking sorry, jaemin." You forced yourself to look into his eyes, his angry red eyes that tore into your soul to find any lie, yet you had none. You meant what you said with full honesty, "Please nana, l-let me cum."
Jaemin simply gave you a nod and thats when you let everything out. You came all over his fingers but jaemin didn't stop nor slow down. He kept the same rough pace as before and you could only scream and cry from the sensitivity.
Then jaemin started rubbing and pinching your sensitive clit before giving your cunt a slap that made you jolt and cry out.
"Ahh- w-wait jae-mmm....s-so sensitive."
Jaemin rolled his eyes, "thought you wanted to cum? I'm giving you what you want, babe."
Your legs closed around his fingers though it didn't stop him from curling and fucking them inside. He could just easily push them open yet he found your sensitivity amusing which led you to cum again without warning.
"What a pathetic little fucking brat you are." He gathered the white substance that leaked from your clentching hole and shoved it back in, "Making such a mess of yourself."
Your back arched, even more sensitive than before.
The hand on your neck moved down to your breast, squeezing at your nipples and playing with everything he could get his hand on. Your nipples were so sensitive that that alone could make you cry and moan just from a simple touch.
His fingers brushed against your sweet spot where you screamed his name. Being over sensitive made everything feel more pleasurable and painful. Every small touch on your pussy brought you to a shaking pleasure that you couldnt control. It was becoming too much and too overwhelming.
"Fuck, are you gonna cum again? It hasn't even been five minutes." He watched, eyes filled with amazement as you shook and once again, came on his sheets and fingers.
Your shaking didn't stop though, it was like the kind of shake you get when your cold, though you were far from it. The intensity of this orgasm was just too much where even jaemin had to pull his fingers out and let you breathe for a moment.
"You okay, baby?" He asked quietly, kissing your temple as you nodded your head, "Can you give nana one more then?" Not wanting to stop, you nodded without a thought causing jaemin to smile and lean back.
Jaemin finally got rid of his clothing, crawling back on the bed before giving you a kiss so you wouldn't notice how he slipped his cock inside.
Surprisingly jaemin took his time pushing in, savoring your sweet little moans that drove him crazy. He started and kept a slow pace that made the overwhelming feeling dissolve away. Now you were wrapping your legs around his waist and staring into the soft eyes of jaemins that were just red a second ago.
Every vein against your walls made you feel ecstasy. Jaemin was careful with each thrust and it felt like pure love. They were passionate and he didn't fail to show it.
"Taking nanas cock so well, just like the good girl you are." Jaemin smiled at your beautiful face that contorted into pleasure. Both of your moans filled the room. More cuss words were thrown from you like it was the only thing in your dictionary.
The lewd sounds of your bodys bounced off the walls as jaemin fucked you slow and steady, grabbing your hips gently as he kissed all over your face, neck, and breasts. He sucked on your skin here and there, creating small bruises that looked like a tattoo as you grabbed the back of his head, lifting him up by the hair to bring his face to yours so you could place a kiss to his red lips.
The kiss was sloppy and slow. Neither of you cared though, both focused on your orgasms that kept coming closer.
Jaemins thrusts stuttered and his cock twitched inside you. The hand in jaemins hair pulled and messed up his locks, sure to create a messy sight later on.
" 'm gon-gonna cum." You moaned, lifting your hips up to meet his along the way.
"Cum, princess."
The final orgasm left your body feeling like it was on a cloud while all you saw were stars making jaemin coo at your fucked out face.
Pulling out, jaemin finished on your stomach before letting his body fall next to yours, wrapping an arm around your hips and pulling you into him..
You both panted out of tiredness, neither one bothering to move as you were both spent.
"Did I hurt you, princess? Are you feeling okay?"
You smiled into his chest, "no you didn't hurt me and I feel fine."
"Good." Jaemin smiled, petting your hair before laying his head on top of yours, "Wanna go on a date?"
You swear your heart stopped as your face heated up, "Jaemin, you're doing everything backwards."
"So is that a yes or no?"
"Of course its a yes!"
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It was a peaceful restaurant that jaemin brought you to, saying it was supposed to be a place a lot of couples went to which you thought was absolutely sweet of him.
"So...uh." jaemin looked anywhere but your face like he didn't just have sex with you for the second time.
You snickered and sipped the drink in your hand, "Why are you so awkward all of a sudden? Its just me."
"I know it's just- I feel like I can't say what I wanna say because I'm afraid." Jaemin sighed.
"Of what exactly?" You placed the drink down, watching as jaemin fumbled with the menu before he covered his mouth and mumbled something you coulsnt quite grasp, "What did you say?"
"...nothing."
"Jaemin."
His doe eyes stared into yours like it was some sort of contest, wanting you to look away first but you and he did, "Alright fine. I said I'm a bit nervous if I were to ask you out."
Tilting your head to the side, you puffed your cheeks out in confusion, "Why?"
"The last relationship I had, the girl cheated on me. Afterwards she said it was because i wasn't good enough." He frowned, returning his attention back to the menu where you presumed was his hiding place for the time being.
"Well she's a bitch and is missing out on an amazing person." You pushed the menu down, "Is that why you acted that way when you saw jeno and I at the cafe? Did you think I thought you weren't good enough?"
Jaemin nodded slowly, "Kind of. I didn't want to lose someone I loved again."
"Loved? Na jaemin-"
"Dont say it." He groaned.
"You've gotten soft! Does this mean what I think it means?" You quirked a suggestive brow at him causing him to put his head in his hand.
"Yes, ill be your boyfriend." He said in his hand before you took it away and grabbed his face to kiss him. "I- princess when did you become do confident?"
"When did you become so shy?"
"Fair point."
Everything felt right all of a sudden. No more of jaemin being your bully. No more coffee being poured on your head. No more stupid high school drama that wasn't even drama in the first place. It was all right for once. And you couldnt say you could complain. After weeks, you got what you struggled to have before; na jaemin.
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ML Lies Episode Predictions:
There’s Two?? (don’t trust my math) more days before lies completely destroys me, so I’m going to make some predictions, and by predictions I mean wishlist. My walls are already up, so if none of these happen I won’t be disappointed, but also a girl can dream: (this is somehow 1700 entire words long because I have a lot of feelings, so it’s under a cut, you’re welcome)
—Adrien and Kagami’s are secretly dating: please I want it so bad, I’ve talked about this so much and emotionally I need it!! At the very least I want them to sneak out together so so bad I’d cry. But also, if they’re hiding it from their other friends for whatever reason, thats SUCH good angst potential.
—If we get to see some kinda montage of them sneaking out??? Id ride that high for months. Even just one actual example of them working together to sneak out would obliterate me. Like, how it shows Kagami sneaking out to go to the game in Ikari Gozen?? I’d cry
—The breakup happens as a direct result of it being a secret relationship: this would be SUCH a good parallel to lukanette. Lukanette broke up because Luka wanted Marinette to be more open with him and he hated being in the dark, so just, the parallels if Adrien wants to be more open about adrimi and Kagami is like “you dont understand, if your dad finds out about us he will end this immediately” but Adrien wants to believe that its going to be okay and no one will react badly? I’m probably explaining this badly and I’ll try to explain it better later I just,,, want parallels and opposites and truth v lies and hhhhh
—Fencing??? Friendly/ affectionate competition??? Them being idiot jocks in love??? Please??? I want to see them compete!!
—I’d love to see Kagami character growth + Adrimi relationship development!!! I want her to love herself more and be more comfortable around him!!!
—Specifically, if there was a parallel to Riposte,, and Adrien beat Kagami in a fencing match and Kagami was like “Oh nice!! :D good game!” I’d be so happy I’d cry!! And it’s kinda implied by Chat Blanc that they’re already there in there relationship?? But not confirmed?? So if I saw it or saw confirmation of it I’d cry!!
—in one of the released photos it looked like they were holding hands??? And at this point my expectations are so low I don’t even trust it yet but blease,,, let them hold hands,, i’d cry of joy
—If Adrien is also constantly leaving and disappearing due to akuma responsibilities, I want it to read SUPER differently from the Lukanette because I love parallels/foils!! Marinette disappears on her dates with Luka and its just “oh marinette is really distracted and busy and frazzled” but I dont think Adrimi but be loke that at all!!! Because as far as Kagami knows, she has the same backstory/current story as Adrien. She’s risking a lot by sneaking out to go on dates with him?? So Adrien seeing an akuma and being like “oh sorry father is calling” isnt even suspicious or anything??? Its 100% believable!!! If her mother called she’d immediately be like “oh fricking heck i Need To Leave this instant immediately.” So its less “Adrien doesnt care about her” and more of just twisting the knife and reminding her that life doesnt want them to be together and Adrien is never going to be free!!! Big ouch to her heart!!!
—also I want!!!! Them!!! To talk about their feelings!!! Because parallels to truth!!! Adrien is like “sorry I have to go” and Kagami is like “oh I hate that so much” and Adrien is like “big same.” (Also idk how realistic this is but I’d love it if ‘Kagami talking about her feelings’ wasn’t the cause of strife in their relationship!! Like, she talks about how she feels and when she’s upset and Adrien is like “yeah me too” and they’re just,, good bros)
—I need them to stay friends after the breakup, i need it i need it i need it!!! And the whole issue is!! I feel like the main reason they’d date is to try and hang out more?!?? So if the breakup was actually them talking to each other and being like “hey so this isnt working with sneaking out, we’re going to need to go back to the way it was before,” rather than them saying they were bad for each other???? Hoo boy i’d lose my mind
—Also!!! My favorite prediction, I’d die of joy if this happened (and also of angst). I want there to be so much drama with “secret relatinship” stuff that they try to fix it by going public with their relationship!! Very low chance of this actually happening but its okay if it doesnt, thats what the fanfiction I’m inevitably going to write immediately after watching the episode is for!!! But anyway,, multiple ways this could happen.
Maybe they’ve been secretly dating since Miracle Queen and they decide to go public at the beginning of this episode and that’s the primary source of plot/conflcit!!! I’d be thrilled!!!
BUT!!! if the episode ends with then Not Breaking Up, but instead deciding to go from dating secretly to dating publicly???? Holy Freaking Heck,,, I’d go feral with emotion!!!! I also need to expand on this so much more but basic rundown of how I imagine it could happen (again: Is it likely?? Probably not! but this is my last chance to dream):
Kagami is like “listen we have the same backstory and I KNOW in my soul that this relationship wouldn’t work if it was public”
Adrien is like “okay yeah I feel you, thats fair”
Kagami goes on dates with Adrien and its fun and nice and lovely and the honeymoon phase is so good and exciting
Adrien starts disappearing a lot, partly because of akuma attacks, but partly because of nathalie and gabe calling him constantly
Adrien starts to be like “well actually i think that my dad does care about me probably? And if he knew why I wanted to go he’d let me! Or at least Nathalie would because clearly she cares about me!”
Kagami is like “hhhnngg have you met them?? You think they’d want you to be happy and free??” Except she can’t just SAY that because if she did then she’d be crushing Adrien’s entire heart and possibly also making him get really defensive and he has to come to the conclusion that his parents are good on his own
Kagami also starts to get frustrated with how much more often Adrien has to leave than she does?? And its because of akuma attacks but she doesnt know that and he cant tell her
Adrien starts to get frustrated because he can take the “having to leave for akuma attacks” part but when he finally finishes an akuma battle and Natalie immediately calls him it is just aaaaaAAAAAAAA and he just wants to believe so badly that he could at least take control of that part??? He could at least get Nathalie to help him out??? Probably maybe right???
Because we all know he HATES having to keep secrets from Ladybug, but he’ll do it for her, and he’ll keep his life as Chat a secret, but Kagami??? He should at least be able to talk about that, right?? He’s not doing anything bad/dangerous/etc
Also there could very well be some angst with Adrien being so so worried about Nathalie because she’s bedridden and his dad is being sketchy and he’s SEEN this before and he doesn’t want to be avoiding Natalie or lying to her because what if he loses her too??? He’d feel so guilty! And he needs the support of a parent figure so much,,, so he HAS to tell her the truth
But he respects Kagami’s wishes and he’s not going to betray her trust
But unlike Lukanette, they DO talk about their feelings and they disagree and stuff, and even if he’s trying not to be confrontational, Kagami is like “i can tell youre uncomfortable about something, please just tell me what it is” so he tells her that he disagrees
Kagami gets akumatized?? idk if it’s even been confirmed that she’s the akuma “Lies” but I’d assume she is because parallels to Lukanette
Maybe it happens as a direct result of some moment where Kagami and Adrien are arguing and in the heat of the moment he says something hurtful??
Maybe they’re arguing and then Adrien has to leave before it can resolve and Kagami is mad about it even though shes trying not to be and she gets akumatized???
Maybe she does say something like “bc your dad sucks and nathalie sucks!” and he yells or something (i want to see Adrien yell and be flawed let me live, and this is one of the most likely scenerios for it to happen bc it would HURT for him)
Maybe Kagami shoots back with anger, maybe Adrien’s been calm but Kagami gets mean for a moment, but regardless, Kagami says something about her true feelings of anger at nathalie/gabe/ etc and before Adrien can respond he’s like “oh shoot sorry I need to get home NOW”
Then for one brief second Kagami’s TERRIFIED that he’s going to tell nathalie about this in his anger and then nathalie’s going to be like “oh kagami is clearly bad for you because she made u this upset” and Adrien will LISTEN because hes stupid and he still listens to his horrible adult figures and Kagami is so mad about the entire situation so then in her moment of weakness she gets akumatized
Look at that its a direct opposite of Lukanette because Luka was afraid of Marinette keeping secrets about why she’s always vanishing because he doesnt know and Kagami is afraid of Adrien telling secrets about why HEs always vanishing bc she thinks she does know,,
But anyway, after she gets de-akumatized, she’s so ashamed of it and she can see how far she took it and how many people it hurt,, and Adrien is really sad and apologetic and trying to support her,, and she’s like “no clearly I was actually wrong, keeping this a secret is hurting you and its hurting me and now its hurting random civilians”
So she tells Adrien that they should tell people about it and stop dating in secret
And then multiple possible ending:
Does he say “actually no, youre right, they wouldnt let this happen, so if we cant date in public and dating in secret is hurting us then we shouldnt date at all” and thats how the breakup goes??? That would literally obliterate me
Does the episode end on a false positive where Adrien hasnt told them yet and he is like “yeah this is gonna be great” and there isnt an actual breakup yet?? Because that would also kill me (even though i doubt theyre going to let adrimi take up that much time in the show but, let me dream)
Also if Adrien is like “we shouldnt tell my parents but we should tell someone” and then they tell Marinette and now shes got ANOTHER secret to keep and aaaaaaaAAAAA?? Id die on the spot
I’m still holding out hope that the episode will give me enough crumbs to at least be able to write this better, but regardless of what happens in the episode,,, the chances of me eventually writing fanfiction exploring this are SO HIGH, I’ve been thinking about this for ages
In conclusion:
—no matter what happens in lies, its going to destroy me
—please let them be in a secret relationship it makes so much sense for their characters and for the drama and aaaaAAAAA
—also please give me the parallels to lukanette where their issues are exactly the opposite and it still falls apart
Thank you for your time, I’ll be excitedly vibrating at the speed of sound for the next two days until we get answers!! Depending on how the episode goes, I’ll either be writing so much adrimi fluff to recover,, so much adrimi angst to vent,, or I’ll be staring at the ceiling screaming for a few days as I post nothing but keysmashes and try to sort through my emotions :)
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crowsent · 3 years
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tales from the smp: the village that went mad ft. salt losing his goddamn mind
“im jack. and. im a farm person, and i like p o t a t o e s”
starting the stream well i see. ponk coming in with generic potato boy and i love him for it
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QUACKITY
QUACKITY
“my name is helga, wife of badboyhalo” QUACKITY
=
karl: “bad, explain your character other than person that beats up their wife”
bad, immediately: “well, i do declare that my name is jimmy and im the mayor of this town”
and then bbh just fucking starts spinning around when hes asked what the name of this town is, theres a pause, and then he fucking hits us with “not a very good town, town” like BAD
this is why i love this man
this is why i fux with this man
he is unparalleled
=
but as much as i love bbh and would literally murder god for him, he still canNOT match the quiet theatricality of mr corpsehusband saying “im gonna turn around and itll all make sense” and then he has a fucking CAT TAIL
corpse “choke me like you hate me” husband is a fucking CATBOY ladies and gentlemen
hes a fucking catboy which further proves something which we already knew was true all along: furries exist in minecraft and are, in fact, accepted in society and treated no less differently than humans
this is why fundy and antfrost can just walk around without anyone telling them shit
this is why wilbur can fuck a salmon
corpse “catboi” husband paved the fucking road and drove down in a custom vintage jaguar so every other furry on the smp could fucking drive behind him in a second hand porsche
i salute you mr corpsehusband
truly amazing
=
miles memeington, connoisseur of steak and bob, “bob the builder” need no explanation
=
CORNELIUS COMING IN WITH THE BRIGHTASS NEON GREEN BODYSUIT EVERYBODY
GIVE IT UP FOR CORNELIUS
BEST RPER ON THE ENTIRE SMP
CORNELIUS GREENBODYSUIT EVERYONE
=
tubbo with the very cute ‘i am robin, i am an orphan child” being IMMEDIATELY ruined by karl sayin
“dont let technoblade hear about that”
i love this already
i love this already
feed me technoblade lore. the man never fucking uploads so i have to get content adjacent to him
i wanna hear about technoblade the orphan killer. i want that backstory lore
and also i wanna protect robin the orphan boy because hello???????????
that skin???????
let me adopt you mr orphan boy
=
i love quackity just very casually going “my husband and i had intercourse” at the fucking TOWN MEETING BY THE WELL
truly
quackity’s comedy is unmatched
“hes into lots of weird stuff. he taught me this one thing called dunderhead”
and IMMEDIATELY someone (cant tell who, i have auditory processin issues) fucking goes “i DO NOT know this woman” and tbh if i were in that fucking town hall listening to my fucking weirdass neighbour casually lay out all her family secrets, id fucking say that shit too. id fucking disown this bitch as my neighbour. id fucking pretend she doesnt exist
like
imagine your fucking next door neighbour siddling up to you in the fucking w*lmart while youre just minding your own goddamn business trying to buy a fucking banana and your next door neighbour helga is dressed in a fucking bikini going “my husband fucked me so hard i couldnt walk” and even though you are clearly not interested and trying desperately to get away from her and her wackass gossip, helga goes ahead and fucking LISTS OUT HER HUSBANDS KINKS IN THE FUCKING FRUIT AISLE AT FULL VOLUME
id die
id just fucking die
id uninstall life right then and there
id pack my fucking bags and take a fucking extended vacation to guatemala and never return. id fucking change my goddamn name just to ensure that people never associate me with this woman.
thats what quackity is doing and i am very thankful this man exists and has given us the treasure that is helga
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cOuLd iT Be iN ThE nAMe oF SaTaN???????? 🤔
karl
bruh
bustin out the fucking OLD conspiracies huh
“or could it be in the name of content on karls stream”
and hes just casually breaking the 4th wall too huh
kinda stealing techno “ill read donations in the middle of rp bc i need a distraction” blade’s go-to method there huh
its fucking funny tho. hes narrating this all serious-like but then he just goes “content on my stream uwu” and unrepentantly shatters that suspension of disbelief (in a good way)
but it wouldnt even matter bc apparently, satan and karls content have no difference
=
does protection exist in the smp? im worried for helgas health
the woman visited 3 different fucking houses in one night
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i love how the rp just stops dead in its tracks around the campfire
no one was using any of the names
corpse was out here calling everyone by their actual names and not the names of their characters
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this might just be bc im a pathological liar whos seen and heard shit but
i love him but
i mean
bbh cant lie
the man cannot lie
his voice is off, pitch wrong, tone sus
he is deffo a murderer
being accused of something hes not would make a person defensive/angry and bbh is not either
the man is LYING
and his argument/defense was LITERALLY tubbos
man cant lie
send this murderer to hell
=
tubbo can lie, but imo hes not. his voice is the voice of a person whos telling the truth
man is legit the doctor
a doctor who chose to fucking lay on the LORE
father killed in the red-eyed village wars????? mother taken from a young age?
motherfucker brought the LORE
motherfucker brought the SOB STORY
motherfucker legit said “here is my canonical in-character reason for being a doctor fuck you”
and honestly
what is bads defense?
karl asked if the town should kill an orphan over a mayor and there is legit no right answer to that
there is no good rebuttal
so bad straight went “you make a great point. just execute me”
amazing
10/10
=
idk who said it but “orphans just suck up resources” whoever you are i love you
i was eating my chips in peace but then i almost choked
thank
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I FUCKING KNEW TUBBO WASNT THE MURDERER
his voice did not match
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my bets on fucking ponk
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its fucking DREAM
DREAM MURDERER
my respect for this man
motherfucker
shouldve known
he was kinda quiet at first but then he suddenly started talking a lot
son of a BITCH
gg dream
=
round 1 wasnt very rp heavy but
i can excuse that
=
who in the FUCK is making choking donald duck noises
who
bbh got a new skin cool
WHO IS MAKING THE CHOKING DONALD DUCK NOISES
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corpse, about dreams death: “they killed him in front of me”
the town: “who was it corpse?”
ladies and gentlemen corpse, without a moments hesitation: “im also blind”
=
so the murderer is deffo not corpse. deffo not tubbo. probably not lazarbeam probably not bbh
that leaves quackity, george, and ponk
=
MY PARTNER WAS KILLED
MY PARTNER WAS KILLED
i knew corpse was a catboi but i didnt know that mr dream “i went on a date and almost married a fox” wastaken partnered with a fucking catboy
what is this
dnf is out, dream corpse is in /j
bruh
MY PARTNER WAS KILLED
bro
the tragedy
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CALM DOWN WENCH THE BOY DID NOTHIGN
CORPSE
CORPSE
STOP
CORPSE
standing up for tubbo like that
corpse
please
my heart cannot handle this
=
okay so its deffo not corpse and tubbo. most likely not quackity after that fucking disaster at the campfire. probably not lazarbeam or bbh. still think its george and ponk
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CORPSE
he got executed trying to console tubbo who legit WENT IN THE PRISON TRYING TO LOOK FOR HIM
BRUH
WHAT THE FUCK
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TUBBO
no
TUBBO
technically its robin but
TUBBO
he lost his father so quick what the FUCK
i will murder god for robin
the little shaking head he does after corpse got killed. going completely silent as he lost the one family he had left.
bruh
robin bby no
=
I KNEW HE WASNT THE MURDERER
tubbo
im sorry
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I KNEW IT WAS PONK
was wrong about lazarbeam/george tho
=
bruh
what the fuck
tubbo/robin honey i am so so sorry
catboi corpse i am so so sorry
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wokestraightpuffy · 3 years
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Hallo, i hope you are alright and that my ask aren’t annoying but I wanted to ask do you have any c!puffy headcannons? —🤡
YOURE NOT ANNOYING AT ALL !!! NEVER THINK THAT ILU VERY MUCH. MUAH /p
as for c!puffy headcanons, i am not the best person to ever organize their thoughts properly but ill try my best >:’D
ahaha. this got. super complex and way too long and more of like an introspective study to puffy now instead of harmless fun headcanons so, uh. under read more <3 (also reminder this is all /rp and /dsmp)
* i like to think that she has a hero complex, but its a bit different since she never really sees herself as an ‘important’ part of the story, not the main character but a support one, hence ‘im fine with being the side character’ or how she’s said she doesnt care what happens to her and would gladly sacrifice(?) herself if there werent other people she had to protect. girl u need therapy urself <3
* though very open with how she feels and never afraid to say when someone/something is upsetting her, ‘opening up’ is still a whole mountain climb for her, apparently. like, she’d rant about the egg, get mad at the eggpire, let off some steam by committing arson or exploding stuff, she’ll rarely ever talk about how much the stuff that upset her actually HURT her. does that make sense? LIKE, she’ll lash out, she’ll get mad, she’ll take NO SHIT thrown at her face, but to show the kinda vulnerability of dealing with that? to cry about it talk about those feelings with someone? I think she’d rather eat her own foot lol
* adding onto the thing above, she doesnt necessarily actually realize this about herself. less of actively doing it and rather growing... used to the ‘cycle of violence’ in the smp as they call it. and the fact that rarely have people really asked, that no one’s actually available for that, w her losing her closest friends, bad and ant, sam being busy w the warden stuff... and niki. yeah. there’s foolish, but i doubt she’d ever see venting to someone she considers her son appealing
* also. puffy is just sometimes... really bad at conveying sadness. i think she’s a rare crier. id go as far to say that shes even more emotionally constipated than dream, lol (but maybe not while the guy’s in his prison arc) and that she’d be the type of person to tell you its okay to cry but beat herself up over something if she let a tear slip in a heated moment
* speaking of sadness. she’ll only ever actually Be Sad if she’s alone or with someone she doesnt necessarily care the opinions of. yknow how she mourned for tommy and blamed herself? those dialogue bits? yeah, those are only times shed actually be vulnerable
* puffy’s go to response to the egg and how its fucked up her relationship w her friends is pure fury. but, going off of her line about ‘failing bad and ant’ i like to think that she probably hates herself the most about it. THAT IS A STRONG WORD LOL BUT YEAH. she yells and curses and gets mad, but sometimes i wonder if the words she had spat before were more directed to herself
* THIS GIRL HAS SELF-IDENTITY PROBLEMS. CAN WE GET A HELL YEAH FOR THAT CHAT? outside of having no goddamn clue about where she came from, how she got here and who she even is, scrounging up a role for herself in a server with a war on the background and traumatized kids got her resignedly coerced into thinking that she is only a Parent. Only good enough when she’s actually doing something Useful for people. SO. when she finds that ship? of having a crew and having a curse? OF FINDING OUT SHE MIGHT HAVE/ HAVE HAD A MOM THATS WAITING FOR HER?  the sense of control she has on herself is absolutely crushed. shattered, and she’s left to pick up the pieces w no one to talk abt it with <3
* adding onto the above, it’s why the line ‘I’m supposed to be mama puffy. me.’ hurts me so much! so yes! please cry with me :D
* also to add more on the fact that she thinks she’s only worth something when she’s being useful, puffy literally contemplated leaving the server, thinking that it wouldnt matter leaving since no one really needs her anyway, since she’s failed so many people. bad and ant, tommy, dream. shes said how foolish can take care of himself on how tubbo and ranboo have each other, how she and niki have drifted so far away from each that it might as well be a break up.
HOOOOOOOOOO OBOY . anon youve really given me the perfect chance to ramble huh? sorry for the rather incomprehensible brainrot, here’s more lighthearted headcanons about puffy asdhfkd
* she cannot stand still sometimes. she always has to be doing something extra, walking when the prime path is right there? shed rather go through tedious little holes or hop and balance onto fences to get where shes going. she’ll mindlessly fix up the path when there are holes or mismatched wood, and one time went on a long, long LONG journey cleaning up the paths tommy purposely DESTROYED near lmanburg and even added cobblestone sidings which werent there before
* puffys a bit of a sentimental person. writing in her log to clear her thoughts sometimes and cared enough to try and preserve lmanburg with the glass sheet and trying to find possible surviving artifacts of history to respect it, even though she’s never been a part of it. its also why, when doomsday happened and lmanburg got permanently poofed, she began to appreciate the buildings that are still standing and began taking more pics 
* she’s not used to being... what do you call it, um, cared for? she’d deflect compliments sometimes, when shes having a particular bad day, like, she’d laugh nervously and change the subject, sometimes she’d outright deny it, most days she’d jokingly say ‘staphhh it’ and add a very genuine thanks. my point being is, do something for puffy that is mildly nice and she’d keep that moment in her heart forever. 
* also funny story regarding the above. u know how karl is notorious for stealing her materials? and how puffy was contemplating doing something in retaliation for them? karl says hi for once when she joins the server and she goes ‘alright fine youre safe for saying hi’ LOL THIS WAS PROBABLY A BIT META WISE but something about this implying that the bare minimum or LESS is enough to make puffy forgive someone is very sad and funny at the same time for me. girl really said ‘oh you said hi to me? thats nice all the crimes youve ever done towards me is now forgiven. <3’ (this is a bit of an exaggeration on my part, ofc, i just think its funny LMAO) 
* ironically, despite being the ‘captain’, whenever riding a boat with someone, she prefers being on the backseat and letting them drive. ig shes just there for the ride i suppose, her and her uber drivers :3
 * she either has a rather unhealthy obsession with baked potatoes or she just doesnt wanna waste eret’s massive potato farm
* idc what cc!puffy says is c!puffy will always and forever be 5′2″ in my HEART. u are the shortest member, u cannot change this <3
* shes really fond of animals/ neutral mobs. she often baby talks to them and they help boost her mood a lot when shes having a bad day :D
* up to this day, the little secret rooms she’s created around the server have all been yet to be discovered, unless the one under bad’s house has been found. she rarely ever really keeps tabs on them, and more often than not they are just collecting dust. she still visits sometimes and cleans them up ofc
* she still genuinely thinks dream can change. cc!puffy’s line about that, ‘i’m his last hope.’ really makes me think about this a lot. 
* ive seen people talk abt it a bit but the headcanon that puffy acts as the server mom to fill the ‘void’ of her missing her mom makes me cry at night /hj
* she really likes her rainbow onesie! i headcanon that eret gave her that along w the sunglasses, but she started wearing that less when she found her old captains uniform. shes never really said why, though, and nobody ever really bothered to ask
* god bless this woman but sometimes the server members get on her nerves sometimes so she goes out of her way to traverse along far away from the main community to maybe commit a few crimes. let off some steam. these take a few days but she always returns
i probably have a lot more hcs but i cant remember them >_> THIS IS A LOT ANYWAY. HOPE U ENJOYED MY BRAIN VOMIT. IF U READ THIS FAR ILU THANK U
if there are mistakes it is bc i am crying and cannot see my keyboard and also i am sleep deprived /hj
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brelione · 4 years
Text
Not as Terrible (Rafe Cameron X Routledge!Reader)
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Warnings:Not proof read, swearing
Being John.B’s older sister was definitely and adventure.You were only older by a year but that one year age gap did a lot for you.Whether it was arguments or discussions on who would do a dangerous task you could always pull the older sibling card.
Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didnt but it was always worth a shot.But then again being the older sibling and John.B’s only family meant that you had other responsibilities,including messing up anyone that messed with him.
Rafe kissed you gently, a grin on his face. “I love you.”He grinned,hands in your hoodie pocket. “I know.I gotta go soon,JB’s gonna get made at me.”His face fell,pouting. “He shouldnt be your responsibility.”He grumbled,holding you tight.
You simply shrugged, not wanting to go through your life story and how it was now your job to take care of him.He could never understand the situation, he didnt really give a damn about Sarah.He also had a father, a shitty one for sure but he still had a father at least.He couldnt understand being a pogue either.
You guys were completely different in pretty much every way imaginable but ‘opposites attract’ or whatever bullshit. “I know….I’ll see you tomorrow though, right?”You asked,sitting up.He nodded,pulling you into another quick kiss before kissing your forehead lightly.
 “Dont forget to hate me.”You reminded him,opening his window and sliding down the fire escape,feeling his eyes on you as you hopped the fence.He sighed, becoming tired of the little game you guys had to play.
Because Rafe was the direct enemy of your brother and his friends that meant that you were supposed to avoid him entirely.It was just the rules of life.But that being said if you ever came across one of your brothers enemies you had to mess with them.
That included messing with Rafe,randomly showing up and flicking the back of his head,disappearing before he knew it was you.It started as you being an annoying presence to ruin his day,spitting gum onto his windshield or placing fake tickets on his car.
But slowly you started falling in love with him because of course you did.It was fucked up but you couldnt stop it, him eventually falling for you too.Thats when this little game began, sneaking out of your house and over to Rafe’s to cuddle and watch movies together,coming home late at night when John.B and his friends were having a fire.
JJ would pull you onto his lap, asking where you had been.He had a thing for you, claiming that it would be fine if the two of you guys got together because you were only eight months older than him so it wasnt that strange.
The age gap itself wasnt strange, it was the fact that he was your brother’s best friend for the last eight years that made things strange.You were fine with sitting in his lap while he whispered jokes into your ear in attempts to get you to laugh.
Of course it felt a little wrong because you were dating Rafe but you couldnt exactly tell him that without John.B finding out too, instead just letting JJ mess around with you because you knew nothing was going to come from it.
The next day you were decided to go with them to the beach, regretting it when you saw Rafe with Topper and Kelce, sitting in beach chairs with beer bottles in their hands.You saw JJ’s jaw clench, John.B rolling his eyes.
 “Why are they here?This isnt fair.”You brother grumbled, Pope nodding in agreement.The five of you decided to sit in the sand for a while,JJ’s hand on your knee almost like he was trying to protect you from Rafe’s eyes.If only he knew.Rafe kept looking over to you, a blush on his cheeks as he did so.
Eventually they left, leaving you and your brothers friends alone on the beach. “You know, I think im just gonna head back home.I have a headache.”You told them, making your way up the sandy hills before they could question it.As you began your walk down one of the dirt streets to get back to the house a bike pulled up next to you, your boyfriend being the one riding it.
 “Hey pretty girl.”You could practically hear the smile through his helmet.You sighed, stopping your walk to stare at him as he took off his helmet,leaning down to give you a quick kiss. “You coming to my house tonight?”He asked, twisting the fabric of your tshirt.
You shrugged, not sure what your brother was going to be doing. “I dont know if I can, John.B and the others might want me to go get groceries with them or something.”You replied,feeling his grip on you tighten,humming. “I havent messed with them in a while.”He muttered, glad when you smiled. 
“Thats good, I would have beat your ass if you did.”You teased with a roll of your eyes. He chuckled,kissing your forehead. “I would've liked it though.”He admitted.You laughed,smacking his arm lightly. “Shut up.”You grumbled, unaware of JJ watching you guys. 
“Is he bothering you?”JJ asked, coming out from his hiding spot in the trees.Your eyes widened, your stomach tightening.Shit. “Uh...no, everythings fine, JJ.Just go back to the beach.”You told him,hoping you didnt sound too suspicious.His blue eyes fell to your hand, the one that was holding Rafe’s.Fuck. 
“Is something going on that I should know about?”He asked,glaring at Rafe like he was trying to make his head blow up. “No, just go back to the beach.”You told him, a sort of assertive tone to your voice that was reserved for John.B when he wanted to do something dangerous.JJ’s eyebrows furrowed, not used to you speaking to him like this.
He nodded,walking away, sending you a look of disappointment before disappearing into the trees, most likely about to tell John.B what he had just seen.Rafe noticed how uneasy you were,hugging you. “Hey, dont stress about it.He’s got nothing on you, whats he gonna do?Complain that we were having a conversation?”He asked, not really helping.
“So I just saw (Y/N) talking to Rafe.”JJ grabbed a beer from the cooler, all eyes falling on him. “Cameron?”John.B asked, not really believing that you’d ever talk to such a vile human being.JJ nodded,sipping the alcoholic drink.
 “They were all over eachother, it was weird.”He grumbled, a slight jealousy in his voice.Kiara raised her eyebrows, a little mad about the situation. “What do you mean they were all over eachother?”She asked, looking over to Pope.
 “I mean they were holding hands and shit,giggling and he was like,I dont know.Its weird.”He tried his best to explain,realising it didnt sound as serious as it was. “(Y/N) doesnt giggle...she just...she just stares at people.Are you sure it was Rafe?”Pope asked.This was out of character for you.You had joined their conversations before, all of you talking shit about the Cameron family.
You had called Rafe a “Cruel, disgusting bitch.” it didnt make sense that you’d willingly talk to him.Meanwhile you were on the back of Rafe’s bike,arms wrapped around him tight as he pulled into his driveway, trying to figure out the best way to sneak you inside.
You ended up being hidden by him as you guys shuffled up the stairs, nearly getting caught by Ward.Luckily he was too busy on a call, not paying attention at all as Rafe pushed you inside his room, locking the door with a sigh. “What do you wanna watch?”He asked,falling on the bed next to you, grabbing the tv remote.
You shrugged,wrapping an arm around him with your head against his chest. “Doesnt matter.”You replied, watching as he picked a random horror movie,knowing that hed probably end up squealing and holding onto you.Your phone dinged, vibrating against your thigh.
You sighed,picking it up to check what someone could want or why they were trying to talk to you.It was a text from Kie, asking why the hell you were at Rafe Cameron’s house.There was no way in hell she actually knew that, she was probably just guessing.You sat up,taking Rafe with you, his chin on your shoulder and a frown on his face.
You:????
Kie:Your snap map is on.What are you doing with Rafe?
You:Im not with Rafe
Kie:Seriously like are you ok
You:Im fine lol
Kie:But why are you with Rafe?
You sighed,turning to look at the kook king. “What should I tell her?”You asked, unsure what to do.If you told her that you in Rafe were dating then she would obviously tell John.B and that meant that you would be in deep shit and would never hear the end of it.He sighed,kissing your shoulder lightly.
 “I dunno, baby.Tell her whatever you feel comfortable telling her.”That wasnt really helpful.You couldnt exactly lie to her.There was no other reason that you’d be at the Cameron’s mansion if it werent for Rafe.You hated Sarah because Kiara hated Sarah so you couldnt exactly use that excuse either.You were anxious the whole time you typed, praying that she wouldnt tell the others.
You:Can you keep a secret?
Kie:Yeah
You:What would you do if I told you I was dating Rafe?
Kie:You dumb idiot
Kie:Rafe??Really?Out of all people?
Kie:Hoe you could do better
Kie:So like youre cool with him hitting JJ and Pope?
Kie:Shit you need to tell JJ
You sighed,biting the inside of your cheek. “Why do you need to tell JJ?”Rafe asked,curious.You groaned,leaning against him. “He’s got a thing for me.”You explained, hoping you hadnt made him feel insecure.
You:He’s nice to me,ok?Plus he hasnt beat anyone in months and im happy and I just need you to not say anything
You waited for an answer, only seeing a ‘read’ receipt. “Shit.”You sighed, realizing that you had probably made the wrong decision by telling her about your relationship. “What?”He asked, not understanding exactly what had happened. 
“Watch her tell everyone.”You tossed your phone down onto the blanket, laying on top of your boyfriend. “It wouldnt be so bad,would it?”He asked, knowing that you were probably embarrassed to be with him. “I just...you know how they feel about you.”you reminded him, hearing him sigh. 
“I know.”He replied as he rubbed small circles along your stomach. “Im trying to change though.”He muttered, pressing a kiss to your neck.You nodded, understanding. “I know you are but they dont.”You grumbled,your leg resting at his hip as he continued leaving kisses down your neck.
You didnt leave until four in the morning, staying up with him the whole night.Ward and Rose had gone out on a date, leaving the two of you with his house to yourselves.You sat on the kitchen counter,your legs around his waist as you shared a pint of icecream.
 “This is the expensive kind.”You noticed,coming across brownie chunks and bits of chocolate truffle.He smiled, nodding. “Yep, its just kook life I guess.”He replied, not really caring. “This shit is like...ten dollars a pint.”He only laughed, not understanding how you hadnt grown up with the same things he had.
He just couldnt wrap his head around the fact that not everyone was like him.You couldnt exactly blame him, he had been isolated most of his childhood and if he wasnt by himself he was surrounded by kooks. 
“You can go to the grocery store with me next week if you want.We can get all the expensive icecream you want...maybe we can get some for John.B too, you know, to win him over.”He explained his idea.You shrugged, not sure how to feel. 
“You dont even do your own grocery shopping, remember?”You asked, seeing him roll his eyes. “I’ll go grocery shopping for you, baby.We can get cookie dough and mix it into brownie batter.”He continued,scooping another spoonful of icecream.You bit the inside of your cheek, thinking about it.It sounded fun but most grocery stores wouldnt be open at the times you were with Rafe.
“I gotta go, i’ll see you tomorrow though.”You promised,kissing him quickly.He backed away to let you slide off the counter, putting your phone in your pocket. He tugged at your t shirt, bringing you close to him so he could place a kiss on your lips, enjoying the feeling that he knew he wouldnt feel for a day at least.
He knew that the second you left his happiness would leave with you, making his mood a bit dull as he hugged you.“Do you want icecream to go?”He offered.You were quick to shake your head, leaving quick so you could get home.He pouted, wishing you two could be together more often.
You tip toed into the house,turning on your bedroom light only to see The Pogues all sitting in there, staring at the door. “Rafe Cameron?”John.B asked, sitting up on your bed.You sighed, sitting down. 
“Really,Kie?”You asked, looking over to the brunette. “JJ took my phone!”She exclaimed, making your eyes travel to JJ. “Are you serious?”You asked the blonde, noticing him pouting. 
“I thought he should know.”He muttered.Pope just seemed mad. “How long has this been going on?”Your brother asked, glaring at you. “Im not doing this right now.”You shook your head, going to leave the room when he grabbed your wrist.
 “(Y/N).What would dad think?”He asked.You scoffed, unable to believe that he went there. “Dad would want me to be happy, unlike you.He hasnt bothered you guys in months!Cant you see that he’s changed?”You asked,all of them avoiding eye contact.
 “No!People like Rafe Cameron cant change, (Y/N)!Do you think he actually likes you?”John.B asked, regretting it the second it left his lips. “Oh, fuck you!”You exclaimed, leaving the room and slamming the door behind you. 
“What the hell, John.B?”Kiara shouted, angry with her friend. “I didnt mean it like that!Lets give her a minute to cool off.”John.B grumbled, feeling JJ and Pope glaring at him.
 “What the fuck is wrong with you?”Pope asked, just as angry as JJ.John.B just sat, listening to their cursing and anger. “I didnt mean it!”John.B shouted eventually, tired of their yelling.JJ shook his head, going to find you.
You werent in the bathroom or living room, leading him to think that maybe you had left until he looked out the kitchen window.He saw you in the hammock, leaving the house with a slam of the screen door and going to lay down next to you. 
“What do you want?”You asked, not looking at the blonde. “Does he really make you happy?”JJ asked,waiting patiently for your answer.You nodded, turning to look at him. “Very much, yeah.”You answered,seeing a grin on his face. 
“So then why does it matter what we think?I mean, im definitely the better choice here but if he makes you happy then go for it.”He chuckled, looking over to the house. “John.B is mad.”You muttered, wrapping your arms around JJ’s torso as the sun began to come up.
 “He’s always mad, doesnt matter.If he can hook up with girls all the time I dont see why you cant have a healthy, loving relationship.It seems dumb to me.”He shrugged.You laughed quietly, not understanding when JJ became a life coach. 
“Yeah, I agree.I just dont want him to be mad at me, you know?Its not like if he’s mad at you, you can just leave the house but I cant.Im stuck with that bitch all the time.”You ranted, earning a small laugh from him. 
“Yeah, true.I think you should just live your life how you want to live it.If you want to be with Rafe then be with Rafe.Personally im not a fan of him but that doesnt mean I can just control your relationships.I mean, youre right.He hasnt really bothered us in months and I havent seen him around The Cut looking for trouble so maybe he has changed.As long as its healthy and everything is consensual.Everything is consensual,right?”He asked, looking down at you.
You hadnt really seen this side of JJ before, usually only seeing his flirty and joking side. “Of course.”You replied, flicking his stomach. “Right, so thats good.If John.B’s mad then that sucks but there’s nothing you can do about it.”He sighed, staring up at the sky through the tree branches. 
“Are you mad?”You asked, curious for his answer.He bit his lip, thinking about it. “No, not really.I just cant believe you like him of all people.”He chuckled, feeling you flick his head. “I didnt like him at first, it kinda just happened.”You replied.JJ nodded, not saying anything else.
You fell asleep in the hammock next to JJ,waking up at noon.There was a note on the kitchen table saying that they had all decided to go out on the boat for the day and that there was pepsi and yogurt in the fridge.You could tell by the handwriting that Pope had written it, everyone else had probably forgot about you.
At eight the next night things werent as tense as they had been before.John.B had even driven you to Rafe’s house, ranting about safe sex and telling you to give Rafe a slice of ‘humble pie’.You rolled your eyes,getting out of the van and telling him to fuck off before walking up to Rafe’s front door, knocking lightly.
He told you that you didnt have to climb through his window anymore.Since you had to tell the pogues about your relationship he had decided to tell his family about it as well which meant he didnt have to hide you anymore.
John.B watched from the van as Rafe embraced you in a hug, smile on his face as he kissed your forehead.He had never seen Rafe look like that, the only smile he’d ever seen on Rafe Cameron was the kind that belonged to an angry sociopath.
But now he kind of just looked like a squishy, smiling gremlin.You and Rafe stood in the doorway for a moment, talking about how things had gone with John.B.Rafe had noticed the van sitll in the driveway, sending a quick and awkward brave towards your brother.A grin came across John.B’s face as he backed out of the driveway.Maybe you dating the Kook King wasnt as terrible as he thought.
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