#if not then its the vod over the weekend
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SUPER ULTRA BIG GARGATUAN WARNING FOR SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!! QSMP TUBBO POV CONTENT 9/13 TO PRESENT!!!!!!!! DONT LOOK IF YOU DONT WANT TO AND IF YOU DONT WAS A BIG FAT SPOILER IN YO FACE.
okokokokok
youve been warned
everything except this intro is unedited
have fun watching my rambles over the course of 3 days just watching qsmp content
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(ALSO ok so this same info is posted at the end of the thread, but,,,)
IF you want to go catch up on everything yourself,
i suggest going & watching either:
a vod channel, and skimming through / watching it
a clips channel (idk many but i do know this one channel Jetmoh is being really active with the lore clips & updates
the QSMP(EN/ES/PT/FR) & QuackityStudios updates on twitter
Alright! happy day to all :D
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i have the whole weekend off to just watch all of these and theorize, and man is it great.
like- fred???? to start?
just a silly guy who (im up to the alt vod from the 13th, 40min through) now has his own seperate lore(?) and EVERYTHIG just because tubbo payed him mind when he was cleaning up the lava cast.
i fjcking love all of the qsmp content, but i never got into it b4 the tubbo streams, and its jsut-- omGGGGGGGGGGG amazing. i cant wait to see how everything pans out in the future, and how things collide & intersect & everything else,,,,,, its just facinating
if anyone has anything else to say or anything to reccomend for me to look at or get into, please do so i rly love talking ab this stuff but have nobody to talk WITH.
:D
#qsmp spoilers#qsmp vodblogging#binging#qsmp#qsmp federation#qsmp lore#qsmp tubbo#silly little worker doing his job#vodblogging#qsmp fred#qsmp theory
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There's Something Lurking in the Guard Barracks
Summary: After a sudden spike of random animal attacks begins to plague the Coruscant Guard, Hound is put in charge of investigating whatever might be the cause of so many vode ending up in the medbay with their ankles bitten to shreds...
[Rhythm and Red Alert are @lost-on-kamino 's boys.
Croissant is @gaeasun 's lad.]
THIS STORY IS ALSO ON AO3
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A mystery had reared its supposedly ugly head in whatever dark corners of the Coruscant Guard Barracks that no vod had ever bothered to map out. A mystery that lurked, stalked and bit whoever was unfortunate enough to catch its fancy.
Attacked at such a speed and in such an unexpected inopportune moment, that none who'd been attacked had been able to see the perpetrator.
All that the victims knew was that they'd been alone in some unassuming area of the barracks, and that whatever had latched onto their poor defenseless ankles, certainly had jaws of steel at its disposal.
Animal attacks were no new occurrence when it came to the Guard.
Animal attacks within their own base however... Well, there was a reason why the massiffs were allowed to roam outside of kennels at certain hours of the day. It wouldn't do well to let a plague of rats run rampant.
But this was no rat.
At least not one Hound was familiar with.
It all began on a typical Prime Day, as most inconveniences for the Guard often did. Between cranky Coruscanti folks giving them a hard time because they didn't want to do their own routines, or the Senators deciding that overworking them on the weekend wasn't enough, Prime Day always opened up a new week with any given kind of problem.
Hound had been called in to speak with Fox for a reason or another (you never knew these days), and found his superior officer with a limp and a rather sour look on his face. Which gave away immediately that things were about to get really interesting for the head of the K9 Division.
"There's a pest problem in the vents." The marshal commander told him, as he massaged his aching ankle. "Something big's made its home in there, and it karking bites. I want you to deal with it."
"Did you see it, sir?" He'd asked out of curiosity, hoping to know what exactly he (and by proxy Grizzer) would be working with.
"...Not even a shadow." Fox hesitantly admitted, mouth twitching slightly as he mulled over it. "I'd just gotten into my office, set down the stacks of datapads I had to get through, and then the next thing I knew I was on the floor clutching my Force-damned ankle because something caught me from the vent behind my chair... Just barely heard it skitter away back in through the ventilation..."
"Uh... That's too bold for a rat, or even a tooka..." Hound scratched his chin in thought. "Have you gotten a rabies shot from the medbay, just in case?"
"Of course I did." Fox rolled his eye at this. "I may not like getting my jabs, but I'm not risking ending up a frothing twitching mess on my office floor just because I got bit by some unknown pest with whatever disease it caught outside..."
"Right, I'll try to figure out what bit you sir. I'm sure it's nothing good ol' Grizzer can't sniff out and deal with!"
It turned out to not be as simple as that.
Whatever was hiding in the vents was not making itself available for removal without a fight. And unfortunately several other vode ended up finding themselves in the same situation as the marshal commander.
With limps and preemptive shots straight from the medbay.
The line got longer every day, and by the end of the week Hound was at a loss for what to think of the whole situation.
He'd never encountered a critter that left him so stumped.
"I don't understand. I've dealt with all sorts of pest infestations before..." He bemoaned as he ate his lunch with Rhythm and Red Alert, right next to the riot trooper gear storage closet. "Rats, roaches, spiders... Kriff, even someone's runaway pet lizard that started breeding with the local population of geckos!"
"Well, not every animal operates the same way." Rhythm offered his thoughts on the matter. "Maybe we've got ourselves something a little smarter than a street tooka or a spoiled lizard."
"Or maybe something from down under came to the upper levels and we actually have a potential bio-hazard on our hands..." Red Alert gulped at the prospect of such an event taking place.
"That's what preemptive shots are for Red." Hound huffed. "Whatever is in the vents isn't some mutant from the under-levels. It wouldn't have survived climbing into the lower sector's vents all the way up to our level... Not with the measures in place to keep stuff like that isolated down there anyway..."
"You never know..." Red Alert shrugged, pausing to look up when he caught sight of Olly walking into the room looking a little flustered. "There you are! Olly I haven't seen you all morning!"
The larger riot trooper didn't respond, merely frowned and looked around the room before slumping his shoulders slightly.
"Hey, you seem down big guy..." Rhythm frowned as well, noting his friend's apparent distress. "Is something wrong?"
"Hm..." Olly shrugged. "S'fine... Just can't find something..."
"You can't find something? It's not like you to misplace your stuff..." Red Alert blinked. "You need any help finding it?"
"No... I'll... Has to be around here somewhere..." Olly shook his head and walked back out of the room, picking up the pace as he carried on looking for, well, whatever it was he'd lost. How odd.
Ah well, whatever was going on with the rather long named trooper could wait. Hound still had a mystery on his hands after all. He could help with another later.
"So, you're both helping me trap whatever is in the vents."
"Yeah sure!" Rhythm grinned.
"Uuuh I don't think--"
"Great, thanks guys. I'm thinking we block some of the vents and bait the one in our quarters. Then we trap it with like, some kind of container." Hound grinned.
"We don't even know how big it is!" Red Alert protested.
"Just big enough to fit in the vents, not too bad!" Rhythm shrugged.
"That's the spirit!"
With a plan as solid as this, surely the three of them should be able to catch one measly bitey creature. They were highly trained soldiers after all! The pride of the Guard no doubt.
Which is what they assumed, until they'd all ended up in the medbay getting their own jabs. Their ankles torn to shreds like everyone else's.
"I am starting to think Fox should call a specialist to deal with the vent problem." Croissant sighed as he finished administering the preemptive rabies shots.
"I don't understand... We should have seen it coming." Hound was at his wit's end. "Nothing should have gotten past us!"
"And yet, here all three of you are. This stuff isn't cheap you know..." He held up the vial of medicine, grimacing at how little remained. "And you need several more just to make sure you don't end up contracting the damn disease..."
"We don't even know if the thing in the vents can catch it, much less transmit it through a bite." Rhythm pointed out. "I didn't feel teeth, just really strong jawbones..."
"Jawbones that bit with such force they drew blood!" Red Alert whimpered.
"Grizzer wouldn't even go near the vent... What is in there that's scaring my massiff?!" The idea that some horror from the deep had really gotten into the barrack vents was starting to become more plausible.
"OOOOOOOOUCH!!!!!!!"
All four jolted slightly at the shrill scream outside of the medbay doors. Then, they gawked as Fox (for once clad in his officer grays rather than his armour) rushed in through the door, something relatively vent sized firmly attached to his unprotected backside.
"I wonder if it might be that thing?" Croissant deadpanned as he watched the marshal commander spin around gracelessly, in an attempt to shake off whatever spiky nonsense was currently trying to rip his shebs apart.
A minute later, the door opened again.
To everyone's surprise Olly was the one opening it, which was highly unusual considering the unusually tall riot trooper hated going to the medbay. The confused look on his face swiftly changed to one of absolute joy, which was another surprise.
He rarely openly expressed anything other than mild annoyance.
"Cabur! I've been looking everywhere for you!" without giving Fox so much as a warning, the larger trooper stopped him by the shoulders before prying the creature from it's grip on the marshal commander's aching behind. But not without a parting gift in the form of ripped piece of grey fabric and part of Fox's underwear as well.
"AAAAAACK!!!"
"Olly, what the hell?!" Croissant chose to ignore the happy riot trooper and the beast he was holding, in favor of helping their commanding officer off the floor where he'd fallen after getting the creature pulled away from his rear-end.
"What even is that...?" Rhythm blinked as he stared at his friend.
Olly paused to look at the others. He held out the animal in question, revealing its spiky shell, long gangly limbs, spiny tail, prehensile neck, and rather unpleasant looking snooty face.
It appeared to be a turtle of some kind.
Which was likely why Olly wasn't afraid of holding it.
"This is Cabur. She's a shiro that I found in one of the upper floors in a public fountain..." He offered as a form of explanation. "And I've been looking everywhere for her. I was afraid she'd gotten lost."
"I... What was a shiro doing in a public fountain?!" Red Alert stared at the creature in horror, flinching when it appeared to glare at them and snapped it's jaws threateningly. "They're indigenous to Naboo, not Coruscant!
"Nevermind that, you knew what could have been biting everyone and you didn't say?!" Hound stared incredulously at Olly.
".... You never asked." Olly shrugged in turn.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Hound put his face in his hands. "This whole time you knew and could have helped.... Everyone's ankles are ruined! Fox's ass is ruined! No offense ori'vod..."
"My ankles and shebs hurt less than the jabs..." The marshal commander grumbled. "My dignity however..."
"Our stash of preemptive medicine is nearly gone." Croissant pointed out. "Which might be a problem in the future..."
"Well... At least if that thing has rabies, we won't catch it anytime soon with all the jabs we got?" Rhythm offered, hoping to lighten the mood.
"Turtles can't catch rabies." Olly pointed out calmly.
"....Kark, then yeah, this is terrible." The communications officer groaned. "All of this worrying for nothing..."
"Again, you never asked." Olly rolled his eyes and walked out of the medbay, turtle menace in tow.
At least he seemed quite happy with the situation.
Maybe next time something like this happened, Hound would decline any pest related problems.
#Eps Writes#star wars#the clone wars#commander fox#sergeant hound#clone ocs#communications corrie rhythm#riot trooper red alert#clone medic croissant#riot trooper olly olly oxenfree#cabur the shiro#In which olly gets a pet and it becomes everyone else's problem :)#wrote this one for a quick giggle
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My Top 25 Movies of 2023.
Sitting in cinema screens in 2023 has continued to re-enforce that it is a weird time for the industry, with huge three hundred million dollar (!) blockbusters attracting only ten or twenty people per screen on opening weekend and highly acclaimed independent movies being given no home except for a dumped VOD release. This year felt ‘tough’ being a fan of both great films and the big screen experience.
Anyway, scaremongering over... it is time for me to dust off the cobwebs from my Tumblr account and post my Top 25 movies of this year, 2023.
[Years 2008 through to present are available in the archive.]
As always, films listed are based on their UK release date whether that’s in the cinema or on DVD, VOD etc. Which was a tough rule to stick to this year because I thoroughly enjoyed the lean and effective b-movie action horror antics of Last Voyage of the Detmer, which could’ve earned a slot on my list had its UK release not been pulled 2 weeks prior to its date due to its European distributor going bankrupt.
Frequent visitors know that I’ll throw out a few special mentions to all the films that I wish I could’ve included but couldn’t make fit yet believe they deserve a shout-out regardless and then I get stuck into what I think are the 25 best films of the year. Anyway, without further ado, here are the ‘also-rans’ and ‘near-misses’ separated per genre that very nearly made the final list:
Action movies that I have enjoyed this year include The Covenant which holds the distinction of being an actually enjoyable and tolerable Guy Ritchie movie, John Wick: Chapter 4 who’s bludgeoning and unnecessary excess gives way to a final hour that is part ode to Walter Hill’s The Warriors and part ‘modern action classic’ effort, Guardians of the Galaxy 3 which was uneven but still the best Marvel effort in quite some time (though that is a low compliment), the first part of the French two-parter Three Musketeers: D'Artagnan which brings John Wick-ian action to the oft-told tale, the Gerard Butler ‘Prime Exclusive’ double-bill that was Kandahar and Plane, Denzel Washington’s (“final”) entry in his Equalizer series and Thomas Jane’s cheapo Brannigan / Coogan’s Bluff b-movie tribute, One Ranger.
Not many comedies impressed me this year but going off the ones that made me laugh and surprised me some what were the kind of delightful Woody Harrelson sporting underdog remake Champions, the vastly better than we all thought it was going to be / surprise sleeper success of the year No Hard Feelings and the ‘animals saying uncouth things’ silliness that was Strays.
I liked a lot of horrors this year; the legitimately great (no seriously!) Influencer, the gimmick-heavy but incredibly effective No One Will Save You, the immensely fun Kids Vs Aliens, the Covid-19 slasher that you didn’t realise you secretly sort of wanted that was Sick, the semi-disappointing yet still enjoyable recalibration that was Evil Dead Rise, the Godzilla-homaging creature feature The Lake and the frankly insane / insanely nasty Project Wolf Hunting.
Not a huge amount of animation blew me away this year but Leo was a stand-out for not just being shockingly good but for the sheer amount of repeated viewings it has gone through in my house with my boys without it losing too much. I have to also give props to Spiderman: Across The Spiderverse which was gorgeous to look at and immensely entertaining but excessive and unwieldly to its own detriment.
It was a good year for documentaries with both Milli Vanilli and The Pigeon Tunnel impressing me immensely. The former being surprising in its depth and emotion. But within the documentary form it was a banner year for the ‘biography’ approach with genuinely excellent and thorough studies of fascinating people. I loved Mr Dress Up, Still: A Michael J. Fox Movie, Judy Blume Forever, Hatton and Albert Brooks: Defending My Life.
Dramas I’ve liked a lot in 2023 have been Till which moved me immensely, the justifiably acclaimed May December, The Burial which was far more captivating than it had any cause to be, the Netflix survivalist preposterousness that was Nowhere, Ben Affleck’s fabulously entertaining Air which was another entry in the ‘business origins’ subgenre that continues to somehow flourish, Michael B. Jordan’s overdirected but strong Creed 3, the ode to old-fashioned 1990s studio potboiler thrillers that was To Catch a Killer, the Sky Original Dead Shot and the smart phone / techno warning Unlocked.
And in a little section all of its own marked ‘better than they had any right to be’ I’ve got to give a shout-out to Elizabeth Banks’ incompetently directed but decidedly fun Cocaine Bear, the Jackie Chan / John Cena greenscreen-heavy team-up Hidden Strike, the wonky but fun Scream 6, the exhaustive Extraction 2, the low-bar hurdling Blue Beetle and the absolutely insane (and mildly better than the last two excretable efforts) Fast X.
And now… my Top 25 favourite movies of 2023… but for those who know me to be an enormous John Woo aficionado I will make clear from the outset that at the time of compiling this I still have not seen Silent Night. Sorry.
25. The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial
We must mention William Friedkin’s last film before his death - a reminder that the man was a master filmmaker across the board but specifically a master at letting the material and the performance(s) lead. Never has that felt more reinforced than with his interpretation of The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial where, like what he did with his excellent made-for-tv redo of 12 Angry Men, he lets the power of one single setting, a very good cast and exceptional material (in this case a soft update of Herman Wouk's 1953 play of the same name) lead and he gets out of the way and stays there. A more fragile or less confident director at the age Friedkin was, at that point in his career / so close to the end, would've likely been tempted to go big or get flashy to show they've still "got it". There was nothing fragile or unconfident about Friedkin right up to the end. This is an impressively engrossing watch with a great kick at the end that Jason Clarke absolutely sells the shit out of.
24. Talk to Me
I genuinely thought the 'hype' machine was going to have seriously done a number on this, a la BARBIE, but thankfully that turned out not to be the case.
Directors Danny and Michael Philippou have taken a weathered and well-worn concept - that grief and trauma can be open gateways for otherworldly malevolence to exploit - and they've injected it with a fresh voice / energy, whilst respecting 'old standards' like practical effects work.
The concept is decidedly hokey and the lead character isn't particularly likable to say the least (though Sophie Wilde is excellent playing her), but the Philippou Brothers are so thoroughly committed here and the practical effects work is so impressive that it's infectious.
You're almost pulled 'in' despite yourself because the scares are so well-executed and the feeling of dread is so effectively threaded. You know you're being 'played' and you try to fight against it, but it's a mark of its quality that it gets you anyway.
23. Beau Is Afraid
If Taika Waititi parlayed the goodwill and acclaim from a series of beloved low-budget Kiwi comedies into a mainstream career making multimillion dollar Marvel movies and becoming one of the most sought after studio hires of the last decade, then Ari Aster has used the instantly accepted and highly regarded successes of HEREDITARY and MIDSOMMER to... *checks notes* ... work through some complicated shit involving his relationship with his mother (and his father - who may or may not be an actual 'penis monster') and have arthouse kingmakers A24 pay $35 million for it.
This made less than a third of its $35 million budget back (because, come on now, how on earth do you effectively market this thing?) so it's tiring but true that the label "cult classic" has •already• been applied to it.
Look, I'm offering zero defence to accusations against the film that it is overlong, incredibly self-indulgent, ill-disciplined, carrying nowhere near the depth it claims to, tiresome and exhausting. It IS all those things. By the final stretch it is floundering haaard and there's a serious feeling of being trolled starting to set in.
But, first of all, it shouldn't be discounted how excellent and effective Joaquin Phoenix is here and Aster's wildly uneven material is greatly assisted by his casting. Secondly, it has to be acknowledged that there's moments - long stretches, in fact - where there's absolute brilliance at play here.
There's masterfully crafted moments of genuine hilarity (dark hilarity, for sure) alongside flashes of abject discomforting horror. I'd go so far as to say some of the most interesting, inventive, unique and intriguing moments in cinema this year are tucked away inside this behemoth of a clusterfuck.
People pushed hard for the extended cut of MIDSOMMER to be released. I'm pushing for the reduced cut of this.
22. There’s Something in the Barn
I thoroughly enjoyed and had a great time with this. It's not at all embarrassed to lean into its influences, evoking affectionate RARE EXPORTS / GREMLINS vibes without coming across like its heavily plagiarising from them.
It’s got a terrific dry wit to it thanks to writer Aleksander Kirkwood Brown's script and which the cast, especially Martin Starr (essentially doing his SPIDER-MAN shtick here) and a very winsome Amrita Acharia, sell well. And director Magnus Martens doesn't skimp on the dark stuff and sense of foreboding either.
There's no snobbishness to put up against this thing - it's a horror comedy that made me laugh multiple times and jump occasionally. That's a very solid success to me and I highly recommend it if the likes of RARE EXPORTS, KRAMPUS, CHRISTMAS BLOODY CHRISTMAS and SINT are favourites of yours.
21. Pearl
I'm a big fan of Ti West and I really enjoyed X, which was one of my Top 25 of 2022 and which in my review I defended by saying:
"... It's very easy to dismiss what West is doing here as just an exacting homage to THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE but it's more than that. Obviously there's overt nods to it but you could also suggest West is doffing his cap affectionately to Paul Thomas Anderson's BOOGIE NIGHTS, Alfred Hitchcock's PSYCHO and, yes, both Lewis Teague's ALLIGATOR and Tobe Hooper's EATEN ALIVE as well..."
This is an interesting companion piece to that movie (with a third entry, MAXXXINE, imminent) made more fascinating due to how it came into existence:
Whilst in their Covid 'bubble' prior to production beginning out in New Zealand for X, director Ti West and star Mia Goth became so enamoured with the backstory they were creating for the character of Pearl that they wrote an entire prequel, pitched it to A24 and built filming into the back end of the original production. A high value 'two-ffer' if ever there was one.
The end result is something less blatantly and broadly enjoyable than the first (second) story but it's definitely the more curious and interesting one; if X really was Ti West's TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE / BOOGIE NIGHTS / PSYCHO / EATEN ALIVE bastardisation, this is his Douglas Sirk melodrama injected with Technicolor and falsely set loose as a 'follow your dreams' fable gone really, really wrong.
It obviously lives and dies by the lead performance and, by crikey, Mia Goth is so good here. That much-memed final credits thing is lauded but it's that late stage monologue that drops your jaw a little. If horror wasn't so easily dismissed her performance would've won awards.
For years we've always considered horror prequels to be the nadir of the genre. After all, who cares if Leatherface only became Leatherface because he was made redundant? Or Jason Vorhees killing nubile teens because he got his pot farm trampled on? Or... or... how no one taking Michael Myers trick or treating turned him into a psychopath? Here though, PEARL indicates that doesn't always have to be the case.
20. Reality
For those worrying as to whether Sydney Sweeney's tsunami of scantily-clad content across advertising and social media platforms has left her precariously overexposed (in more ways than one), along comes this fascinating and considered film to remind you that behind the bikinis, the false nails and the airbrushing is an extremely talented actress capable of incredibly powerful work.
Devoid of make-up, carrying the film nearly 70% of the time in close-up shots she can't fake her way free from and regimentally parroting the actual recorded FBI transcripts down to every sigh, stumble and gulp Sweeney is frankly astonishing in how she carries this thing.
Director Tina Satter keeps things tight in terms of both location, framing and running time (it plays as an almost real-time exercise) and as a result the film becomes a riveting, claustrophobic and maddening display (how did Reality Winner's actual charges and ridiculous sentence stand when all of this occurred without correct due process and legal entitlements being followed from the outset?) from a first-time film director showing exceptional command of her cast and her visual space.
19. Fair Play
Chloe Domont's corporate morality play / torchlight on gender politics by way of a recalibration of the 1990s style erotic thriller is all the more astounding because of how assured and masterfully controlled it is for someone's feature directorial debut.
Driven by two excellent performances from Phoebe Dynevor (who I'd not seen before in anything and was astonished by her) and Alden Ehrenreich (who I think is terrific and deserves treated way better by the industry), and supported by atypically great turns from Eddie Marsan and Rich Sommer, this thing has no right to be as engulfing and nail-biting as it is for what it is.
Domont refuses to make compromises or concessions in the way she presents latent sexism, money, toxic alpha cultures, wounded pride and corporate backstabbing infecting her characters. It's a brutal, relentless ride she takes us on.
One where the brash bloodied cunnilingus opener keeps returning to your conscience like it was heavy foreboding for what feels inevitable - these two can't keep tearing away at each other like this, surely? Not without someone dying at the other's hands.
You keep trying to shake that feeling off, telling yourself that it's not ~that~ kind of film. But as this thing starts to barrel towards its third act it is testament to Domont, and how Dynevor / Ehrenreich are executing her material, that you come to realise all bets are off.
18. Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One
There's action movie franchises and then there's •this• action movie franchise; hitting its stride at the fourth entry, delivering back-to-back masterpieces with its fifth and sixth and now this - a seventh entry so frickin good it rides out evident flaws (and Mark Gatiss' horrendous "accent") that would absolutely fatally decimate other films!
Because it feels sacrilegious to even say this but the latest entry manages to straddle both being very good, decidedly high end, etc etc and... *whispers it* ... kinda 'samey' to what we've had since Christopher McQuarrie became 'grand master':
Still no one trusts the inherent righteous genius of Ethan Hunt, forcing him to go against one and all. Blah blah. There's excessive shots of Tom Cruise running. Yes, yes. There's elaborate stunts seamed together by a 'not as clever as it thinks' plot. Of course. And too many characters. Far too many. Confoundingly, it feels somehow a little stale and yet brilliant.
The film's 'grand' action sequence this time round has been so overexposed, so heavily spoilt (a making of dissection for it ran before the film itself at my screening for Christ's sake) that you naturally assume it'd deflate a little by the time you see it 'in context'. That's not so. Mainly because it is actually just the entrée to the main course which is the train finale.
The climax is an utter masterwork of technical execution, mixing real stuntwork with very well done greenscreen and (yes, shocking as it is to say for a Tom Cruise movie) CGI facial replacement alongside terrifically accomplished narrative construction.
If like me you continue to be aggrieved by the presence of Simon Pegg's Benji and how he's ostensibly exactly the same character as Luther with exactly the same skillset, routinely forcibly sidelining a vastly superior Ving Rhames, then that's more evident here than ever before. So much so that they literally 'Poochie' Luther out of the film in the third act. Which is obviously racist bullshit. Also, I know I stand alone in my apathy towards Rebecca Ferguson (I really don't get the adoration for her / her character at all) and my hatred for Vanessa Kirby and all the stupid gurning that comes with her, but both are drowned out by a crackin' turn by Pom Klementieff and a performance from Hayley Atwell that you really need to believe the hype on; she lights up the screen and is a tremendous comedy player amongst all the weighty waffle.
And that's the film's biggest flaw that ROGUE NATION and FALLOUT both managed to masterfully swerve - the minute the action stops the film starts to sink under the weight of really heavy exposition. Mounds and mounds of the stuff, in fact. I know McQuarrie and Cruise have been open about how they conceive a script around action set-pieces but this is the first time where the stitchwork is so headache-inducing having to listen to it that you start to see a wobble in the method for the first time... even more so now McQ and Cruise have started injecting all this whiffery about "the choice" and portentous context about how IMF agents work, are recruited, etc. Like, what are you doing trying to 'John LeCarre' my fucking MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE movies, goddamnit?
Still, it's the most minor of hardships considering you're never more than 10 minutes off from getting out the other side of all that exposition and getting to another sublime action sequence or a close up of Atwell's wonderous smile.
17. Sisu
"Sisu is a Finnish concept described as stoic determination, tenacity of purpose, grit, bravery, resilience, and hardiness, and is held by Finns themselves to express their national character. It is generally considered not to have a literal equivalent in English (tenacity, grit, resilience and hardiness are much the same things, but do not necessarily imply stoicism or bravery)."- Wikipedia
The RAMBO sequels should look to this, kneel before it and weep just for being in its presence.
And we better start doing the same with Jalmari Helander, who in just three movies has done Finnish 'interpretations' of John Carpenter horrors, 80s Amblin movies and now 'lone warrior' action films to magnificent effect.
This is a gloriously ridiculous live action cartoon of violent excess and bonkers propulsion; land, water and air set-pieces of utter insanity stitched together with inventive, nasty gore.
It is outlandish in its speed, its fat-free story construction and its refusal to ever stop or give way to wimpy, silly things like character development.
16. Puss in Boots: The Last Wish
I totally get Hollywood's whoreish mentality for seeing something succeed and then bastardising it to the point that what we once loved is something we become bored by - it's why we suffered through a noughties onslaught of what felt like nothing but zombie movies because 28 DAYS LATER landed well or why everyone's trying to do "shared universes" now because of Marvel.
Or why after the massive success and instant affection for INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE every animated movie of late has been plagiarising the hell out of it.
You saw the trailer for this - a heavily belated sequel to a spin-off from a SHREK sequel - pulling that very shit and it just felt a bit like your old dad after your mum's left him, spraying on the 'hair filler' and squeezing into skinny jeans to "get back out there" and prove he's "still got it"...
... and then it just casually reveals itself to be a film of massively inventive design (both visually and narratively), that's surprisingly deep and very funny - and as a result superior to both its predecessor and the entire franchise from which it was born.
You don't •think• you NEED time spent in the company of Olivia Colman and Ray Winstone as Mama Bear and Papa Bear or Florence Pugh as Goldilocks and John Mulaney as Jack Horner... or best of all ELITE SQUAD's Wagner Moura as Death... but you absolutely do! Don't make the mistake of thinking you're 'above' this sort of thing, cos I can guarantee you you're not.
It's a delight!
15. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
It feels like I've got to be apologetic in my opinion of this if 'Film Twitter' / the critical majority is to be believed, in which case I'm sorry but I enjoyed this. I just don't think you should ever underestimate the positive impact factor(s) that can be drawn from this particular actor turning up on screen as this particular character, scored to John Williams' music. And I'm saying this as someone who's seen KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL.
I can see why people would have issue with this latest / last outing; it's overlong to the point of bagginess (there's a staleness that starts to set in from the repetition of Jones and Co landing at a location, having the baddies immediately show up, outwit them and make off with the macguffin only for Jones to steal it back) and the character of Helena Shaw is a fairly odious and unlikeable one who exists to cause more shit for Indiana Jones than is tolerable (and I was no fan for the most part of how Phoebe Waller-Bridge played her).
And then there's the 'look' of it too. Did it HAVE to have such a shitty, plastic sheen to it? It cannot be overstated that one of the most tremendous qualities of those first three INDIANA JONES movies was in how Spielberg went out to REAL locations and had Vic Armstrong and Harrison Ford REALLY ride REAL horses and jumped on top of REAL tanks or fall under REAL trucks. Here, it's pixels and screens. Again. With nothing learnt from the issues KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL generated.
James Mangold has done a commendable job of 'apeing' Steven Spielberg and there's a lot - and I mean a lot - of great action here. But the vast majority of it has the shine taken off by continually cutting into terrifically adrenalinised action sequences to insert very obvious greenscreened shots of Ford and Waller-Bridge bickering and shouting like they were really honestly / definitely / maybe there involved with the sequence when it was getting filmed.
It's infuriating because this thing is stacked to the gills with thoroughly enjoyable, legitimately well-designed action sequences - the escape from the castle in the French Alps, the Apollo 11 parade and New York City Subway chase, the Tangier sequence, the Aegean Sea set-piece, the Ear of Dionysius cavern stuff and the airfield chase - but in every single one there's moments of really quite shoddy CGI that draws you right out of the moment to remind you 80% of this was done on computers. There's not ever a moment to make you gasp in awe at how the stunt-man survived like in the original trilogy. But there's a LOT of moments that has you thinking "This thing cost $350 million?"
But all that said, Mangold making a 'fan' version of a Steven Spielberg INDIANA JONES movie is better than Steven Spielberg phoning in one. And I'm not going to lie, this thing had me from the minute the font come up in the opening titles and we got a straight-up legitimate 1940s set INDIANA JONES mini-movie (which seemed to sit as an eery bedfellow to MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE 7, weirdly enough) with the best... though still not flawless... de-ageing techniques I've seen.
14. The Fabelmans
It's more than a little disingenuous for all involved, specifically Steven Spielberg himself, to describe this as "semi-autobiographical" and "loosely based" on his adolescence and first years as a filmmaker when anyone who's read any number of books on the man or watched director Susan Lacy's 2017 biographical documentary can see the beats are all there, wholesale. If THIS is "loosely" then the biopic version would be the greatest invasion of privacy ever committed. This ~isn't~ a "fable", man!
I can also see with it why some have braced against it and the instant critical adoration that was applied to it, because the longer it sticks around the more muddled it becomes about what its point of view is and whether it has anything left to say. By the end it slides to a stop after 2½ hours with an admittedly wonderful (and wonderfully bizarro) comedic bon mot having scattered barely etched vignettes / sketches in its final stretch. And tonally, there's questions as to really what was trying to be said with that late 'Ditch Day' subplot and whether co-writer Tony Kushner was working through his OWN stuff within Spielberg's memory bank.
That being said, I loved it in all honesty. For the first two thirds of its running time, I thought it was •really• something special - and anyone pushing out the notion that this is Spielberg on autopilot ain't watching this properly. That cold pan cutting his [screen] father from the frame in a moment of parental happiness but leaving in his [screen] mother and her lover? That's some brutal, subtle craftsmanship there. And layered on top of choices like that is more precision cinematography from Janusz Kamiński and scoring (for the final time?) by John Williams.
The performances across the board from Gabriel LaBelle (as 'Sammy' / Spielberg), Michelle Williams, Paul Dano, [CENSORED] and Seth Rogen are extremely good. Though as atypically great as Williams is here, I'm not certain this ends up being the 'ode' to Spielberg's mum, Leah Adler, that some think it to be.
I totally understand the perspective of those that see this cynically as a 'pre-designed awards hoover' - you can't help but come away from Judd Hirsch's cameo feeling like the entire thing was written as a Best Supporting Actor Oscar clip reel - but for me it just hit me right in the chest... exactly as it will for anyone who spent some of their best summers with their dearest friends, being creative, making films, watching films, dreaming of a future that involved cinema, fending off unsupportive family and trying to hold close those that did try to help your talent flourish.
13. Babylon
As much as Film Twitter has taken against BABYLON's final moment, it must be said that for a "love letter" to cinema and the movie industry overall, Chazelle can 'sign it off' how he likes (and "SINGIN' IN THE RAIN to AVATAR" is certainly •a• take!) with no obligation to be subtle. However, considering there's NOTHING subtle about this film whatsoever preceding it, why you'd think it's conclusion would be any different is silly.
I'm a Damien Chazelle fan. I liked WHIPLASH and LA LA LAND enormously and I genuinely consider FIRST MAN one of the finest films of the last decade. No matter its flaws (of which there are several), I drew a great deal of enjoyment from this, his latest effort. Repeat viewings have put it as one of my favourite films of 2023.
It's a very, very messy film. Chazelle seems to believe the debauchery and excess of the era his narrative lands within - Hollywood's transition from silent to sound films in the late 1920s - gives him unrestrained reign with an overindulgent running time and a cavalcade of graphic content. Added to all the blood, vomit, excrement, etc etc the opening Kinoscope Studios Exec's bacchanalian mansion party is the "opening sequence of SAVING PRIVATE RYAN" of debauched, drug-fuelled, orgy sequences in cinema.
There's no real consistent throughline to any of this which makes it all the more difficult to embrace across 190 minutes and because it plays like a plethora of sketches it has massive peaks and troughs Chazelle doesn't always seem to have total control of - the vignette involving Margot Robbie's Nellie LaRoy first experience of recording a 'sound' take starts solid, gets funny, outstays its welcome and then beats you into submission.
There's a lot of excellence here though. Whether that's in Brad Pitt's surprisingly layered, moving and deft turn or through the sojourns onto the desert location shoots of multiple oscillating productions, topped off with the very 'on' appearance of Spike Jonze's 'Not Otto Preminger' Otto Von Strassberger.
I'm thinking that opening on elephant defecation and sordid acts of urolagnia is something that in retrospect director Damien Chazelle may well be regretting now critics have been "pissy" about his latest film and it's now considered the big box office "turd" of the year.
12. The Killer
I've seen a few people talk about this as if it's "beneath" David Fincher, inarguably one of our greatest working filmmakers today. Like a tight hitman-out-for-revenge yarn based on Alexis Nolent and Luc Jacamon's comic book series is not "worthy" of him or something. Clearly these people are forgetting this is the same guy who spent 6 years in development hell on a WORLD WAR Z sequel, gave us the glorious (if flawed) bit of pulp that was THE GAME, the immensely effective b-movie in an a-picture gown in PANIC ROOM and remade an adaptation of a popular airport potboiler with THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO in amongst whatever is regarded as his "prestige" flicks.
It's absolutely a David Fincher movie; that's apparent in the droll humour, the Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross soundtrack and the clever visual flourishes - like the entire Amazon 'bit' in the final stretch.
It's a caper. A yarn, if you will. A bit of pulp, just with high end flourishes - such as Fincher's meticulous choices, Erik Messerschmidt's cinematography and the casting itself (Fassbender, Arliss Howard, Charles Parnell and Tilda Swinton).
There's this brilliant layering here between the clinical, detailed voiceover Michael Fassbender provides (that leads us to believe this is an assassin at the peak of his 'game') and the actions we physically see from him on screen (missed shots, beat downs suffered, etc) that indicate there's a little bit more than what's on the surface.
I had an absolute blast with this - a tight / immensely refreshing sub two hour, jet black comedic (the aliases!!) thriller that sits as Fincher's hat tip to Jean-Pierre Melville's classic, LE SAMOURAÏ.
... Though I do want to deduct a star off my final rating for the bit where Tilda Swinton co-opted my favourite 'go to' pub joke that I've relied on for 20 years. Now whenever I tell it people are going to say I've just ripped it off this, goddamnit!
11. Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.
What an absolute gem of a film!
You knew you were in steady hands because Judy Blume's 1970 source novel is just that good, Kelly Fremon Craig's EDGE OF SEVENTEEN is an instant classic and there's a dependable excellence that comes with casting the likes of Rachel McAdams and Kathy Bates.
But there was always the risk that this COULD'VE got fucked up. Some idiot at the studio might have tried to modernise it. Or believe that it needed more 'incident'. Or cast someone too precocious in the lead role. But James L. Brooks clearly bodyguarded this thing correctly.
The final result is a sweet, funny and very lovely little film with an absolute sweetheart of a turn from Abby Ryder Fortson as the title character.
I genuinely loved spending time watching this.
10. 20 Days in Mariupol
There's a moment in this - Mstyslav Chernov's truly harrowing frontline documentary of the twenty days he and his colleagues spent besieged in Mariupol after Russia began its invasion of Ukraine - involving an emergency cesarean and an unresponsive newborn that is more upsetting, more thrilling and more uplifting than the combination of every horror and every feelgood drama released in the last five years.
This is the most important and vital film you'll see this year and then never ever want to see again.
More so because as humans in this modern age we rather callously only seem to have the heart / stomach / attention-span for one 'war' at a time, and we appear to have abandoned the Ukrainian conflict to refocus our outrage on what's going on in Gaza instead.
For large parts of it we feel like Mstyslav Chernov's been given exclusive access to the pits of hell and he's taking us on a tour. This is intense and riveting, shockingly so considering the unrepentant footage of dead or dying children.
9. The Night of the 12th
I've worked in the field of investigation for over 20 years and I can tell you this much - this movie fuckin gets 'it', man.
In opening with the title card that it does it offsets any eventual disappointment you may feel when the ending arrives. You don't feel short-changed because you've been brought in from the start to share the frustration with the characters.
There's nothing easy here. Nothing pat. Just real investigatory pathways followed with dead ends jumping out in front when everything in your gut says this lead, that lead or the next was going to be 'the one'.
It painstakingly shows that the work is in the hours. And the work can become an obsession. An obsession that gives nothing back equitable to what it takes from you.
It starts with a suitably harrowing and upsetting sequence and it ends on character uplift in lieu of narrative resolution. It also sits as one of the best movies about the art and reality of investigation in modern cinema.
8. The Creator
If there's anyone out there still 'over crediting' Tony Gilroy for the success of ROGUE ONE - one of the best (and the last great) STAR WARS films - this is the "fuck you" exhibit.
Gareth Edwards' sci-fi action epic doesn't entirely land its thematic intentions and hampers itself somewhat by placing dramatic reliance on the anti-acting vessel that is Gemma Chan, but by crikey is it an enthralling and gorgeous-looking ride. (John David Washington remains a magnetic watch, though I do wonder because he sounds so much like his dad whether we're all just hooked on the idea that they've 'prequelised' Denzel?)
You're gifted something here that feels like 1982 Ridley Scott and 1993 James Cameron have got together to play with action figures and do a sci-fi Vietnam movie... it's glorious stuff!
Full of some of the best effects and well realised set-pieces of the year, it's the old 'protect the child' trope given a beautiful lick of paint thick to feel make it feel just about unique enough and a) stand out in an ocean of comic book movies and sequels, and b) probably make Neil Blomkamp go "Ahhh. That's how you do this? Riii-ght!"
So of course no fucker showed up to watch it!
7. Close
I don't really have friends. I don't have the sort of 'personality' that lends itself to people being able to find me tolerable at the most basic level - at least for more than a couple of hours at a time anyway.
I've come to accept and acknowledge this fact the older I've got in life. I've always tried to make friends / keep friends etc but the type of person I am seemingly lends itself to being easily used and/or quickly put down.
It wasn't always like this though. When I was a child there was a boy who saw something in me that others did not and could not. He was in my class and lived close by my grandparents, where I spent most of my time. We were bonded by our loneliness amidst a sea of heads at school as much as our shared sense of humour. Even at a young age I came to appreciate this friend for simply •liking• me and we quickly became inseparable.
On the last day of school, with a vast and limitless summer ahead of us before separate high schools would provide an inevitable divide, we had an argument. A silly, stupid, ~nothing~ argument - significant enough in postscript that I can still recall it now 31 years on - that degenerated into shoving and me accidentally banging his head off a bathroom wall during lunchbreak.
We left school that day with our friendship impacted and the first week of the summer holiday's heavily damaged by him not being by my side in it. And on the very night that I finally decided I didn't want this to continue any longer... that the very next morning I would pick up the phone and ask him if he wanted to go ride bikes in the dene... he died.
An asthma attack. A fuckin asthma attack.
He died not believing that I was his friend and that devastated me. It still does. 31 years later, I think about Neil at least once a week. I see clips of talent show magicians and KNOW that'd have been him. I've tried all my life to replicate a friendship like it and I've never succeeded. But can we ever generate that closeness in adulthood towards someone like we could as children, when we were free of responsibility and bonded by limitless possibility?
I've frequently wondered what my life would've been like if Neil had still been in it, telling myself over and over that this would've been one of the rare pre-teen childhood friendships that lasted.
I miss him and would give anything to be able to deliver the apology to him that he deserved then and is still owed now.
So... all THAT said... it goes without saying that this deeply human, carefully etched and very naturally drawn drama hit me like a train travelling at 150mph.
This is one of the most effective and important films about grief, trauma-processing, adolescence and friendship that there's been in some time.
It really is a brilliant piece of cinema that should be shown in schools to every kid from twelve upwards.
6. The Eight Mountains
Felix van Groeningen and Charlotte Vandermeersch's adaption of Paolo Cognetti's novel is a (both visually and emotionally) astonishingly beautiful effort with two fascinating and textured performances from Alessandro Borghi as the adult Bruno and Luca Marinelli as the adult Pietro.
It's an intimate epic; a careful, patient and quietly profound treaty on friendship, life, love, ambition, Buddhist concepts, ancient Indian cosmology, growth, nature and the weight of legacy.
Come for the stunning footage of the gorgeous Italian Alps, but stay to be deeply moved by something really rather special, wholehearted and sincere that steps right over whatever BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN esque expectations or assumptions you may well carry into this.
5. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem
I've never understood anyone - especially the aged fanboys frequently responsible for ruining the STAR WARS and MARVEL 'discourse' - who's shown territoriality over the TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES as a "franchise".
The reason this ramshackle 1984 indie comic by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird has blown up into five television series, seven films, multiple video games and a range of toys / merchandise for four decades is mostly down to the way it sorta reinvents itself every five or so years. Which means there's some form of TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES 'content' now for all of us in one way or another.
And one of the most impressive - but not THE most impressive - things about this film is how it incorporates something from everything that's gone before without becoming a complete mess. The spirit of the comic book source material is front and centre alongside the legitimate effort of the 1990 movie adaptation. The "that'll do" crappy clart of its sequels is avoided whilst the huge scale of the maligned Bay-ified 2014 - 2016 movies is represented. It definitely captures everything about the first Saturday morning cartoon that enamoured the property to us way back when.
It's a glorious effort. It truly is. I watched it with my son and his friends and the huge grins on their faces was infectious. I struggled to think of another entertainment entity that has moved so effortlessly through the generations like this has.
It's a visually resplendent film. It takes the reconfiguration of the animated form a la the SPIDER-VERSE movies and delivers a surprisingly more focused and tighter effort than the latest SPIDER-VERSE sequel. It is dripping with an energy and confidence that will surprise you, as well as a whole heap of heart and humour that will delight.
Yeah, there's moments here and there where the energetic visual styling becomes a little too cluttered in its action sequences but it is a minor grumble against what is a surprising instant masterpiece of its type:
A sweet and funny teen movie walking in the shoes of an animated giant sized comic book blockbuster wearing the coat of a New York conspiracy film, drenched in classic East Coast hip-hop and a score by by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, and performed by one of the most impressively eclectic voice casts of recent.
(Within a roster of Hannibal Buress, Rose Byrne, John Cena, Ice Cube, Natasia Demetriou, Ayo Edebiri, Giancarlo Esposito, Post Malone, Rogen, Paul Rudd, Maya Rudolph, Micah Abbey, Shamon Brown Jr, Nicolas Cantu and Brady Noon, it is Jackie Chan that absolutely steals this thing by a considerable distance!)
4. Asteroid City
If you aren't a Wes Anderson fan this is not the film that is going to convert you. An immaculately stylised and composed metatextual 'Russian Nesting Doll' celebration of the construction of art and the art of storytelling? No way. No how.
There was elements of it that didn't work for me but what •did• work I was head over heels in love with. The [CENSORED]*constructs felt almost like afterthoughts and didn't particularly resonate. A lot of reviews hit Anderson for being unfocused and overindulgent, and I kinda can see where they're coming from. But only with regards to that particular element.
[* censored by me and hopefully by everyone else because they've done a wonderful job of hiding the story construct from the marketing]
The rest of the film is primo Wes Anderson in his most astonishingly stylised form with his attention to detail never more sharp.
A complaint that must be noted though is in the casting, where the usual 'Anderson Players' appear to have ran a 'pyramid scheme'; bringing in actors who's casting has attracted other actors to the point of it being too cluttered an ensemble in too lean a film to let everyone truly shine. Despite all the plaudits, I think Scarlett Johansson is well out of her depth here. And I just think if you're going to hire the likes of Steve Carell (replacing a Covid-addled Bill Murray at the last minute), Margot Robbie (who should've played Johansson's part, and vice versa) and the sublime Sophia Lillis but barely use them properly it's almost a crime!
When it's funny it is hilarious. When it is delightful it sits as a heavenly confection. And when it wobbles it still isn't as ponderous and disappointing as some of the lesser elements of THE FRENCH DISPATCH.
3. Oppenheimer
I found every plaudit for this to be true and what a reward it was to receive as cinema lies stale in its current state, crusted with the stale decay of innumerable shitty-sheened superhero movies and sequels to things no one was asking for.
Here's a mature, complex, expertly constructed character study of great depth and intelligence; a film primarily made up of scientists and mathematicians thinking and squabbling amongst themselves whilst a non-linear deep betrayal born of immense pettiness plays out almost as an appendices to the traditional biopic... yet, thanks to the music of Ludwig Göransson and editing by Jennifer Lame, it moves like this insanely kinetic action thriller instead.
The ending stretch feels almost ~too~ trite and neat though, it must be said. Although maybe I'm tarnished by a feeling that no movie should depend on the cripplingly irritating overacting of Rami Malek to play last-minute 'saviour'.
Cillian Murphy is frankly outstanding here and whilst most critics have the Best Supporting Actor Oscar locked for Robert Downey Jr (who's brilliant and who's Lewis Strauss receives a 'kiss off' by Nolan here that almost feels like a Marvel Cinematic Universe esque tease for a sequel about Strauss arranging the JFK assassination!) it would be good to see Matt Damon get some recognition here as his General Groves very nearly steals the whole movie with very little.
The casting is so sumptous overall that every scene induces a "Hey! That's..." as the likes of Kenneth Branagh, Josh Hartnett, Casey Affleck, David Krumholtz, Matthew Modine, Benny Safdie, Jason Clarke, Michael Angarano, Jack Quaid, Josh Peck, Olivia Thirlby, Macon Blair, Tom Conti, James D'Arcy, David Dastmalchian, Dane DeHaan, Alden Ehrenreich, Tony Goldwyn, Alex Wolff, James Remar, James Urbaniak and (is it a spoiler to say?) Gary Oldman as Harry S. Truman roll out to 'play' for one or two minutes.
It's the sort of movie so stacked and packed even at 3 hours that it puts Emily Blunt (as Katherine "Kitty" Oppenheimer) in such an undercooked and underdeveloped role you wonder why they cast a 'star' in it... until that clearance hearing scene near the end where she goes and delivers the impact of a... well... an atomic bomb and you think to yourself "Oh. That's why they cast Emily Blunt!"
It's a gorgeous-looking - Hoyte van Hoytema's cinematography is luscious - cinematic achievement by Christopher Nolan, where his visual ambition and clinical cinematic technique have really come together once again to remind you the term "modern great" as a filmmaker is well earned.
2. Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
A "great time" - seeing as the film itself had my beloved GAME NIGHT's Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley at the helm - perhaps. But a resoundingly delightful time that left me instantly eager for more of these movies and DEFINITELY future revisits of this one? I'm shocked at just how brilliant this was.
I can't believe that one of my favourite films of the year is a 'fantasy heist action comedy adventure' based on the infamous tabletop role-playing game.
Especially considering I've never played nor have any frame of reference / interest towards the tabletop game (my sole DUNGEONS & DRAGONS 'knowledge' stems from the 1980s cartoon series - which gets a pretty terrific nod here!) and one-third of the cast is made up of actors (Michelle Rodriguez and Regé-Jean Page) I can't normally stand.
I've been a big Chris Pine fan for a long time now and his performance in this only increases the fandom. And I've flat-out crushed on Sophia Lillis since IT and she's pretty tremendous (if a little underserved) here. The whole cast - yeah, including Rodriguez - are pretty wonderful with Hugh Grant clearly having a grand ol' time, a "big star" mid-movie cameo that'll only land depending on your opinion of this diversive 'talent' and Justice Smith very nearly stealing the movie out from under Pine.
This thing is built within the framework of a marriage between THE PRINCESS BRIDE and the aforementioned GAME NIGHT. It's ostensibly LORDS OF THE RINGS meets OCEAN'S 11; a series of ever escalating challenges and heists that are thrillingly executed within a film that's very, very, VERY funny. The opening prologue is a complete statement of intent ("Where's Jonathan?") that tells you exactly the movie you're going to get.
Killers of the Flower Moon / Godzilla: Minus One
Simply astonishing to indulge in - there's such a deft, surprising delicacy to elements of Martin Scorsese's Killers of the Flower Moon that's all the more astounding considering the abhorrent subject matter.
That comes mainly from the performance Lily Gladstone provides this film with. In a sea of tremendous work - and by God it's both magnificent to see Robert DeNiro be great again and for Leonardo DiCaprio to finally do something in my eyes that lives up to his [overstated] reputation - she is working on some other stratospheric level.
Comments about the length by some don't resonate with me. I certainly didn't feel it, necessarily. It's probably the length it needs to be to do justice to the masterful source material its adapted, deliver a legitimate love story (of which, don't be fooled by its toxicity, this is), a film of weighted historical and cultural context AND a true life / true crime procedural.
It's surprisingly less gratuitous than you'd probably expect too. Especially considering we're in the hands of our greatest living filmmaker, someone who's never shied away from presenting us with absolute violence of an uncompromised nature.
There's also these splashes of jet black comedy occasionally popping up too - like the horribly bleak but darkly funny scene in which one henchman asks a lawyer about whether adopting then killing his Osage wife's kids would make him a benefactor of their riches. When the lawyer rightly points out it sounds like he's confessing to planning child murders he replies not unless the lawyer's answer would be affirmative.
This is a film that consumes you. It pulls you in and drags you down - you're in the presence of pure evil and weak character, and Scorsese expertly holds you there so escape feels as impossible as justice must have to the Osage.
It's very easy to 'throw around' the term "masterpiece" when it comes to Martin Scorsese. Mainly because the fucker keeps effortlessly making 'em. But by crikey this really is one.
Equally majestic as a piece of cinema, but in an entirely different form and genre is Takashi Yamazaki's Godzilla: Minus One.
By concentrating on making an interesting drama with genuinely well-etched characters (that just so happens to have a giant radioactive monster passing through intermittently) equal to a barnstorming blockbuster creature feature (that allows itself to be infected with enthralling drama and character development), this steps up in the year of the Godzilla franchise’s 70th year to take the position as its best entry [by a considerable distance] in its illustrious history.
Buzzing with some of the best set-pieces of the year soundtracked to a thumping and all-consuming score by Naoki Sato, there’s genius in recalibrating a Godzilla movie – of all things – in order to develop an incredibly touching human drama and social commentary about what makes a family, what is the true definition of patriotism and courage, what real service to one’s country presents as and how to find air to breathe / the will to go on in a post-war Japan where unrelenting despair hangs in the atmosphere wherever your head turns and ‘fear’ manifests itself as a skyscraper-sized lizard-of-sorts.
We know we’re being played with the cute kid and the manipulative makeshift family relations, but that doesn’t stop it being wonderful. The marriage of sincere impacts caused by war and loss with sci-fi fantasy (but no less tense) fantasy action shouldn’t work, but they very much do. This thing is firing on multiple levels and it succeeds across the board to stand as the best blockbuster of the year.
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Here's a Letterboxd link for this whole thing if you're that way inclined.
Tell your mum I said hello.
See you next year...
#film#cinema#2023#ukraine#Mariupol#Martin scorsese#killers of the flower moon#Godzilla#Godzilla minus one#Dungeons & Dragons#oppenheimer#Christopher nolan#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#wes anderson#asteroid city#eight mountains#close#French cinema#Gareth edwards#the creator#judy blume#David fincher#margot robbie#brad pitt#Steven spielberg#tom cruise#mission impossible#dreamworks#Dreamworks animation
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I went to a DDR Tournament (aka: Post-MOTL4 Thoughts)
As the title suggests, I went to a DDR Tournament in Mentor, Ohio this past weekend called Mistake on the Lake 4. Below are my thoughts on the event, focused primarily on my performance at said event:
First off, the reason I’m posting it here instead of something such as twitter, or facebook, or discord or something is because I feel like I can be honest with myself about how I played without feeling a sense of being around (for lack of better term) toxic positivity. It’s not that I don’t think the community means well, and there is a very reasonable chance that I’m putting too much pressure on myself even now, but the last thing I want to hear right now is “you have one leg, it’s okay” or “you weren’t feeling well” or “it’s been a long time” or any kind of justification like that. Those are valid reasons to not play well, but I feel like it takes a lot of the responsibility off of me.
The fact is this: I sucked. I performed worse at that tournament than I ever have at any other tournament in my time playing competitively (2004 - 2010, 2018 - 2020.) and there’s some very legitimate reasons why that are just entirely on me.
1. Since the COVID mandates have been relaxed (if not lifted entirely), I haven’t played all that much. I have not put in the time that I should have. I didn’t give the tournament and the competition the respect that it deserved. I even had the audacity to honestly think that I should have been rated higher than I was, and the way I played showed that I belonged exactly in the pool I was in, and probably lower if such a pool existed. I was out-worked, straight up.
2. During the course of COVID, I let myself get significantly out of shape. Despite having options around me to stay active, I chose to ignore them. To stay sane, I probably drank my own actual weight in bourbon and other alcohol to cope with the stress of the situation. That would have been fine (or at least understood) DURING COVID, but when I got vaccinated and things relaxed down, I didn’t change those habits. I didn’t start trying to be more active again and I didn’t do anything to change the negative habits that developed during COVID. I basically let myself blimp up even further and become even more lethargic and lazy. I went from about 170 lbs. before COVID, to 187 lbs. during it, to as of right now, 216.1 lbs. AFTER. Carrying an extra 45 lbs. everywhere you go takes its toll physically. I just can’t do as much or go as hard as I used to be able to.
3. To piggyback off of the last reason, I drank entirely too much leading into the tournament. Literally, the night before, I polished off a bottle of coconut rum with two other people. The night prior to that, beer and bourbon and cokes. The night before? Shots of rum while I was packing. I was basically an internalized microbrewery who was bloated and awful, and had no energy to play when it finally came time to do so. I even felt sick and anxious as I played, and proceeded to vomit my guts out after I finished. It was only after that, well after I was eliminated, that I finally felt good and loose.
All of this is to say that I didn’t give this tournament, the competitors in my pool, and for that matter, myself, the respect it, they, and I deserved, and it showed, and I embarrassed myself on stream. I don’t even want to watch the VODs or recorded footage of the matches because I’m so ashamed of myself up there. It fucking sucks.
In essence, TL;DR: I let myself down because I let myself get fat, out of shape, unmotivated, and drunk, and I played like shit for it.
I’m writing this because at the end of it all, I want to take accountability for that and I never want to feel that embarrassed again. I never want to play that badly again. I never want to be that ill-prepared ever again. And if I have my way, I’m not going to. Consider this my accountability plan.
1. With the USL Soccer Season officially over, I have my Saturdays to myself again. If I have any say in the matter, on top of Tuesdays and Sundays, I am going to spend my Saturdays in the arcade playing and getting back into playing shape. Additionally, I’m going to start going back to Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu class on my Wednesdays to try and get myself back into decent physical shape. At the minimum, if I can get back down to under 200 lbs., that would be a good starting point.
2. It’s obvious that I have some bad habits that I need to work through. I need to eat better, I need to exercise more, I need to develop healthier mindsets for dealing with negative situations around me. This even includes dealing with playing badly. It’s okay not to be the player that I used to be. I’m not that person right now. Hell, I’m not the person I was two or three years ago, period. Looking back in the past is not going to do me any good. I need to work with who I am now and build from that.
3. This is the hard one to come to grips with, and I hate that I’m writing it. I’m actually kind of scared to even put it in writing, but I don’t think I have much choice anymore. Right now, I have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. I have for a long time now. And while I should thank my lucky stars that I haven’t said or done something egregiously stupid yet, I’m afraid that I’m probably teetering that razor’s edge. Even now, I constantly have an anxious feeling in my chest that I’ve said or done something wrong, or inadvertently hurt someone, and I’m going to get myself thrown out of a community that I love, and this was even after asking a friend of mine to effectively be my shadow at said event to make sure something like that explicitly DIDN’T happen. I can’t live like this and something has to change. Another friend of mine has challenged me to go till my birthday weekend (Dec. 9-11) without alcohol. I think that’s a good idea. If nothing else, to reset my body and mind. This part won’t be easy and I’m actually kind of afraid. I hope I don’t fail.
To hold myself accountable to this, I’m including two photos of myself currently. Unaltered, untouched, not hat on, etc. It’s me, as I am at 216 lbs., wearing a t-shirt and soccer jersey that is way too tight on me for my size.
Hopefully the next time I post photos of myself, I will look a little thinner, be in better shape, most definitely be under 200 lbs., and also being a little more sober. Ideally also playing DDR infinitely fucking better than I ever did this weekend.
I can’t keep living like this. I have to do something about it now. :\
Thanks for reading.
#DDR#dance dance revolution#anxiety#alcoholism#overweight#weight loss#mistake on the lake 4#motl4#I feel like a failure right now#but hopefully that can change too
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Watch Premier League 2021/22 on Firestick | Latest Guide
With the Premier League’s 20201/22 season entering its final month, the race at the top of the table is heating up. As a football fan, you don’t want to miss anything about this tournament, especially as it enters its final month.
Unfortunately, it’s actually very difficult to broadcast live outside the UK. Don’t worry, in this article we’ll discuss how to watch Premier League matches on Amazon FireStick, and with our handy tips, you’ll be able to break through barriers and enjoy matches from any country. Let’s get started!
What is EPL?
The English Premier League, commonly known as the EPL, is one of the most-watched sporting events in the world. Founded in 1992, this will be the 30th season of the Popular league.
You’ll see 20 teams battling it out for the championship. The league is usually played between August and May. It lasted 380 games, with the final to decide the Premier League title taking place in late May.
EPL 2022 schedule this weekend
This year’s Premier League season ends on Sunday 22 May 2022. Below is the EPL fixture list for this weekend, according to the schedule and match channels, no more missing every big game.
If you want to check out the match details, check out the latest premier league news here
The best way to watch Premier League matches on Firestick
If you don’t want to miss the big Barclays Premier League matches this weekend and want to watch them at home, then we’ve got a handy guide.
As we know, the Premier League is really a sports collective, not a broadcast channel. Therefore, if you want to watch a match, the easiest way is to subscribe to the IPTV service. Only if you subscribe to the IPTV service can you activate the IPTV channel list, so that you will never miss the Premier League this weekend again. I would like to introduce a reliable IPTV provider —Family 4K IPTV.
What is Family 4K IPTV?
Family 4K IPTV is a premium IPTV subscription provider with many years of experience. Offering over 16,000 channels and + 20,000 VODs, their IPTV service provides you with the best picture quality through a powerful and stable interference-less server, which will guarantee you the best quality live TV and VOD.
It also provides users with a robust list of sports channels. Thus, making it one of the best sports apps today. Especially for the Premier League channels, you want to watch, such as Sky Sport, BT Sport, ITV, and More.
Family 4K IPTV features
48 hours free trial
Support 7/24 h / 365
4K/UHD, HD, and standard definition quality
More than 9,000 live channels
20,000 films + 15,000 series
Famous senior sports and PPV events
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Uptime 99.99%
Support for all devices
M3U & MAG& Emigma & Firestick & IOS & Android & Windows & Linux
Get a 48-hour free trial
How to use Family 4K IPTV to watch EPL?
Because Family 4K IPTV is compatible with a variety of devices and IPTV applications and works with all applications based on Xtream code and M3U links, you can choose the best IPTV application for your Firestick device for the best viewing experience.
Since most apps are not found in the Amazon App Store, this means you need to go through any sideloading process to install them on FireStick. Here is an example of how to install IPTV Smarters Pro on Firestick. Other IPTV player installation tutorials are similar. There are only three steps:
Step 1: Install Downloader
-Go to the Main menu of Firestick and select “Settings“.
-Click on My Fire TV.
-Select Developer Options. Then click on Apps from Unknown Sources.
-Click “Allow“.
-Return to the Fire TV home screen and go to the search feature. Input “Downloader“.
-Select the “Downloader” application that appears in the result list. Should have been the first to show up
Select install.
-After installation, click “Open“.
Step 2: Download the IPTV player
-In the search bar and type in the URL “https://www.family4kiptv.com/smarters/“.
-Click “GO“
-Wait for the download to complete and click “Install“.
Step 3: Add IPTV channel list
-Return to the Fire TV home screen, then go to your Apps and Channels menu.
-Find the IPTV Smarters Pro icon and launch it to accept the terms of use.
-Click “Add New User“, then select “Xtream Code API“.
-Add login data (username, password, and portal URL) to your IPTV service.
-After creating a profile, launch it and enjoy streaming content with IPTV Streamers Pro.
Now you just need to open the app to watch EPL and lots of live sports.
Check out the best IPTV players for Firestick
FAQS Related
What is the Premier League?
The English Premier League is one of the best football leagues in the world. It is attended by 20 clubs and is held every year from August to May. Season 30 has just begun, and fans are excited to catch it all.
What is IPTV?
IPTV stands for Internet Protocol Television, which basically refers to regular and pay-TV channels delivered online over the Internet. Family 4K IPTV is one of the best and most stable IPTV in the world.
Is IPTV legal?
The devices are legal when they are used to watch legal, free broadcast content or paid subscription channels like Netflix; However, once used to broadcast illegal content, they become illegal. Of course, using IPTV is safe because it’s just a service that lets you watch your favorite cable channels over the Internet without having to buy a cable connection.
Does Family 4K IPTV offer a free trial?
Yes, you can enjoy a two-day trial of Family4K’s Best IPTV for free. Test quality flow and stability, then decide on registration.
Conclusion
All in all, Family4K is an excellent IPTV subscription for all sports fans and the best Firestick sports subscription. If you use FireStick and are a sports fan and want to watch Premier League matches this weekend, then you are fully eligible to subscribe to IPTV and enjoy.
Related Posts
How to install STB Emulator on your device?
How to use Kodi on Android/Firestick?
How to install OTT Navigator IPTV on your devices?
How to use IPTV players on Roku to watch IPTV?
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Not many r rated not blockbuster movies get the kind of promo and press tour challengers did… 15 million based on that is low can’t sugarcoat it
Okay, but I don't agree at all. Im not sure if you are meaning this to troll or if you just had weird expectations but look at history of how R-rated movies open AND most R-rated movies don't get that sort of press because they know they aren't going to open particularly well so they don't want to bother with the money.
Look at a movie like Saltburn, that was such a huge pop culture phenomenon thing for better or worse last year. I know it's path to opening in wide release was different but the film cost 75 plus million to make and it made a whopping 21 million worldwide at the box office worldwide over its entire run. 11 million domestically. Now I believe it did not open in wide release at first and then it expanded so I'm not saying this was an apples to apples comparison, but Challengers will likely pass Saltburn's entire domestic run in one weekend. Now before people yell at me I do expect Saltburn was way more lucrative on VOD and streaming, but it is interesting when people look at what is successful and what isn't.
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Review: Night Swim (2024)
Night Swim (2024)
Rated PG-13 for terror, some violent content and language
<Originally posted at https://kevinsreviewcatalogue.blogspot.com/2024/01/review-night-swim-2024.html>
Score: 2 out of 5
Night Swim is the quintessential "fuck you, it's January" movie. Hollywood loves to ring in the new year by dumping into theaters the garbage they had no faith in at any other time of the year, because January is when kids are in school, theaters in half the country can get shut down by blizzards, there aren't many holidays offering extended three-week weekends (save for Martin Luther King Jr. Day, which isn't universally celebrated as a day off), and prestige films given limited release in the fall are expanding their theatrical runs in anticipation of the Oscars. And lately, a tradition has been to give the first weekend of the new year over to a low-budget horror movie. While Blumhouse struck rare gold last year with M3GAN, a sci-fi horror film that actually turned out to be far better than its release date suggested it would be, this year January returned to form with Night Swim, a ho-hum ghost story adapted from a 2014 short film where the worst thing about it is that it's not completely wretched. There were seeds of a good movie buried in here, with all-around solid acting and production values, some effective sequences, some cool cinematography, and a nifty central conceit behind its evil pool, and there was a brief moment when it finally started to get good. Unfortunately, as with many movies that were adapted from short films, there's not enough to carry it, resting on the most generic haunted house story possible (but with a haunted pool this time!) to stretch a four-minute short to feature length. It's not the worst January horror film ever made, or even in the Bottom Three (I assure you, the competition is stiff), but it's otherwise completely generic, disposable, and at times unintentionally funny #content that would've been thrown into the wasteland of the direct-to-VOD/streaming market if not for January.
Stop me if you've heard this one: a family called the Wallers, comprised of the father Ray, the mother Eve, the teenage daughter Izzy, and the adolescent son Elliot, has moved into a big, luxurious house whose price is too good to be true, only for them to soon learn why it was so cheap. Namely, it's haunted. Or rather, the swimming pool is. And much like every poor sucker who's ever lived in the Amityville house, the mother Eve and the kids Izzy and Elliot start experiencing supernatural forces when they come in contact with the pool, while the father Ray, a former Milwaukee Brewers player whose baseball career was tragically cut short by multiple sclerosis, sees his illness miraculously cured and starts behaving in increasingly erratic fashion.
If you've ever seen a movie about a family stuck in a haunted house, you've seen this movie. Virtually every plot beat was visible from a mile away, from each family member having their own encounter with the supernatural to the mother doing research on the pool's dark history to somebody getting possessed by the spirit causing all of this. There are random plot threads about the Wallers' neighbors perhaps knowing more about what's happening than they let on, and Izzy's hunky swimmer love interest Ronin being a devout Christian, but the film does nothing with them. Every single plot point here is standard haunted house movie boilerplate, like writer/director Bryce McGuire had a cool idea for a cool scene that he turned into a cool short but never thought about how to turn it into a 90-minute movie until Jason Blum and James Wan decided to give him a lot of money to do just that. The worst part is, once we find out what's actually going on with the haunted pool, a glimpse at a far more interesting movie is had, one focused on Ray as he grapples with how his illness destroyed his life and how whatever's in the pool seems to have given him a second chance -- but one that comes at a terrible cost. As it stood, however, while Wyatt Russell played his stock Horror Dad character well, he never had much of a chance to do anything more beyond play a stock Horror Dad, nor did anybody else in the cast have the opportunity to play the stock Horror Mom, Horror Teen, and Horror Kid. The film wanted me to care about the Wallers as a family, but they were such a thinly-written family that, even when they were in peril, the Eight Deadly Words were ringing in my head: I don't care what happens to these people.
(I will, however, give the film points for having a sense of humor enough to have Izzy's high school be named after Harold Holt, an Australian Prime Minister who infamously disappeared when he went out for a swim on the beach.)
The scares, too, don't really do much to excel. Using a swimming pool as a setting gave some fun opportunities for cool aquatic cinematography that the film readily took advantage of, meaning that, at the very least, this was a pretty nice-looking film. Any sense of originality stopped there, however, as what followed were all the scares you've seen in a dozen other haunted house movies: jump scares ahoy, characters seeing things that aren't there, you name it, all of it done in ways that have been done better before. Characters make stupid decisions constantly, especially the young son Elliot, and while I could at first justify it by saying that at least it was a dumb kid acting stupid around the pool, by the end he really should've known better than to even think about doing what he did. The teenage daughter Izzy had no real purpose beyond recreating the scene from the short film, because that featured a young woman who looked good in a bikini, which meant the movie had to have someone who fit that description. The design of the ghost is a bloated, half-rotted corpse that probably sounded good on paper, but its execution in the movie is almost laughable, leaving a lot to be desired and not coming across as scary in the slightest.
The Bottom Line
Night Swim isn't a movie I'd personally push into the pool, but if somebody did, I'd probably have a good laugh at its expense. It's competent, but beyond the idea of a haunted pool, everything about it is the sort of thing that's been done better before, and worst of all, I can easily see how a better movie could've been made out of the same material. I wouldn't even bother waiting for Netflix.
#night swim#2024#2024 movies#horror#supernatural horror#ghost#wyatt russell#kerry condon#fuck you it's january
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What is VOD? How VOD Works?
In today's digital age, where content consumption is constantly evolving, Video on Demand (VOD) has emerged as a game-changer. VOD is a technology that allows users to access and watch video content of their choice, whenever and wherever they want. This article delves into the intricate workings of VOD, shedding light on its mechanisms, significance, and impact on the digital landscape.
What is VOD?
Video on Demand, commonly abbreviated as VOD, refers to a media distribution system that enables users to stream or download video content at their convenience. The concept of VOD has been around for several decades, with its origins dating back to the early 1990s. Initially, it was primarily associated with cable television systems, allowing subscribers to order and view movies or TV shows on their television screens.
However, with the rapid advancement of technology and the widespread availability of high-speed internet, VOD has evolved significantly. It has transcended traditional cable systems and become a digital phenomenon, accessible through various devices such as smartphones, tablets, and computers.
youtube
How does VOD Work?
Content Delivery
The heart of VOD lies in the seamless delivery of video content to end-users. To comprehend how it works, we must understand the key components involved:
Content Servers: VOD content is stored on specialized servers. These servers store a vast library of videos, ranging from movies and TV series to user-generated content.
Streaming Technology: VOD services employ streaming technology to transmit content to viewers in real time. This technology allows users to begin watching videos almost immediately without having to download the entire file.
User Interface: VOD platforms offer user-friendly interfaces, allowing users to browse, search, and select the content they wish to watch.
Internet Connection: High-speed internet access is crucial for VOD. A stable internet connection ensures smooth playback without interruptions.
User Interaction
VOD platforms aim to provide a personalized viewing experience. Here's how they achieve this:
Search and Discovery: Users can search for specific titles or discover new content based on their preferences. Advanced algorithms analyze user behavior and offer recommendations.
Playback Control: VOD allows users to control playback, including pausing, rewinding, or fast-forwarding, giving them complete control over their viewing experience.
Subscription Models: Many VOD services offer subscription-based models, granting access to a library of content for a monthly fee. This often includes original content produced exclusively for the platform.
Ad-Supported Options: Some VOD platforms offer free content with ads, making it accessible to a broader audience.
The Significance of VOD
Entertainment Industry Transformation
VOD has revolutionized the entertainment industry. It has blurred the lines between traditional television and online streaming, giving rise to a new era of content consumption. Viewers now have the freedom to choose what, when, and where they watch, disrupting the traditional broadcast schedule.
Global Reach
One of the remarkable aspects of VOD is its global reach. Content creators can now distribute their work to a worldwide audience without the constraints of geographical boundaries. This has opened up immense opportunities for filmmakers, artists, and content producers to showcase their creations to a diverse and international audience.
Convenience and Flexibility
VOD's core appeal lies in its convenience and flexibility. Users are no longer tied to rigid schedules dictated by television networks. Instead, they can tailor their viewing experience to suit their lifestyles, whether it's binge-watching an entire series over a weekend or catching up on missed episodes during a commute.
Cord-Cutting Phenomenon
The rise of VOD has led to a phenomenon known as cord-cutting, where viewers abandon traditional cable and satellite subscriptions in favor of streaming services. This shift has prompted traditional media companies to adapt by launching their own VOD platforms to stay competitive in the digital landscape.
Advertising Landscape
VOD has also transformed the advertising landscape. Advertisers are drawn to VOD platforms due to their ability to target specific demographics and measure the effectiveness of their campaigns. This data-driven approach has redefined advertising strategies in the digital age.
Conclusion
Video on Demand (VOD) has emerged as a transformative force in the digital world. Its evolution from cable-based systems to online streaming has reshaped the way we consume video content. VOD offers a personalized, flexible, and global viewing experience that has disrupted traditional media and given content creators unprecedented reach.
As VOD continues to evolve, it will undoubtedly play a pivotal role in the future of entertainment and media consumption. The power of choice now rests in the hands of viewers, who can access an ever-expanding world of content with just a few clicks.
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popcult ! yippee !! heres my recap!!!
saturday was really fun! busy, but fun. woke up around 7am after getting virtually no sleep, and drove the ... hefty hour down to massachusetts. my manager made sandwiches [this is important] and we had redbull to keep us going so all was still well!
it was really fun getting to cosplay a lesser known character for my am cosplay. even though i had posted that I was there on instagram, nobody seemed to bother me! it was great!
i wish that there were more ARP cosplayers in the states, but afaik it's not super popular in japan either? maybe one day ill find merch that isnt a kajillion dollars.
the panel i held with kitsune metal was a hit! we were full! i was so shocked that so many people wanted to see me talk about being an idol!
i plan on posting a q&a on all of my platforms sometime soon. i think it went really well, and im so happy that everything went as well as it did.
i hope everyone had a good time!
getting to sing and dance with our sekai was so fun! it was very rushed, and ill probably never do something like this in THIS LITTLE TIME ever again, but it was fun. the adrenaline did its job lol
i sang 「the snow white princess is...」 and despite forgetting some lyrics and absolutely messing up others [sorry japanese speakers in the chat] i did ... ok. ill post a vocal cover of it soon, just to redeem myself TT
i also did a cover of 「newly edgy idols」 and had a BLAST!!! I LOVE NEWLY EDGY IDOLS !!!!!!!!! i love u mitchie m . thank u mitchie m .
... now for the idol showcase. what i came to the con for.
now, i auditioned for this before i did idoljam. i didnt even KNOW about idoljam when i auditioned. if i knew i was doing something before this, i wouldve picked a different song.
its not that i hate the vampire, i love it! its one of my favourite deco*27 tracks! its just that its not a showcase worthy song. its simple choreography. im a bit mad i fumbled during my ending fairy. it pisses me off a lot actually lol
but i did it. and now i have to post my vod .. next weekend i think? anyways.
people seemed to like it, and looking back at it, i was pretty sharp on all of my movements. my manager drilled me on my sloppiness, so im glad that all worked out well. maybe one day ill do the full version. i wish susupara let me do the full vers. they were a bit strict with me.
im just happy i didnt let my fans down. there are one or two oshi//ten6 that have made it to everything ive done so far, and it makes me really happy to know that im somebodys favourite. i said in my interview that my main goal as an idol is to prove to childhood me that no dream is too stupid to live out. i spent my entire life being told that my passion was weird and that i should just stick to chorus and theatre. im glad i didnt let it stop me ... because now there are people who oshi me! there are people with jyuu merch ! there are people who have seen me dance and sing and have shaken my hand !! i have a costume !! i have over a hundred followers on ig ! im happy. im so happy. i feel like exploding and imploding at the same time. i hope im still an idol when im old and wrinkly, too.
i hope little kid me is proud.
[one day, all of your blood sweat and tears will turn to glitter.] ♡ make it! by I☆Ris
#jyuuchan#jyuu#uvs48jyuu#idol#jpop idols#uvs48#overseas idol#kaigai idols#jyuu speaks#popcult 2023#one day ill get someone to take chekki with me . bro ive been PRACTICING ! IM AN IDOL PLS TAKE CHEKKI WITH ME PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS [shot]#maybe im just happy im someones favourite. maybe im twirling my hair and kicking my feet a bit.
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Right, probably time to avoid the r&l posts and maybe tumblr for a bit.
I have the VoD option for GME so can't watch tonight (its the middle of the night here anyway). But I'm also of to the parents for the bank holiday weekend which means I've no idea if/when I'll actually get a chance to watch it until next week. (They always pick the literally most annoying time to do gme lol)
50% of this is not wanting to be spoiled but 50% is already being annoyed with all the high anticipation gme posts when it hasnt even happened yet. I think the fandom on here tends to get a little more over excited/invested than I am comfortable with lol
I hope it's not as cringy as I fear it might be this year...
#i just want link to get like... 25% less drunk than last year and itll be more bearable in the cringe department#the fun/hilarity still outweighed the cringe don't get me wrong#but this year we have the horrifying addition of fan input and i cannot see that being anything but embarrassing
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LCS Could Easily Lose More Than Just Its Primetime Slot After 2023 Schedule Changes
Being able to adjust to changes in the well-known MOBA game, League of Legends, is a crucial talent for many players that sets the good players apart from the greatest. Finding a suitable balance between scheduling changes and formats that appeal to both fans and players might be significantly harder on the professional level.
Riot Games has announced a plethora of scheduling changes to the competitive League landscape for 2023, including the sudden shift of the LCS from its primetime broadcasting days of Saturday and Sunday to Thursday and Friday at a surprisingly early start time.
The changes caused an uproar in the North American community, who has raised valid complaints and concerns about the future of the league. Many fans see this change as yet another nail in the coffin as Riot pushes more support toward the LEC and VALORANT esports, which have now taken over the weekend game days.
This isn’t the first time that this region has seen ill-advised adjustments to its broadcast days, either. And unfortunately for LCS fans, this push toward the end of the week will only bring disappointment in a year that should be filled with excitement after one of the most promising offseasons in NA history.
When Monday Night League was announced for the 2020 LCS Spring Split, people hoped for the best but prepared for the worst for the league’s new schedule. Former LCS commissioner Chris Greeley said that Riot “focused on creating a watershed moment for esports” with MNL, wanting to emulate a similar experience to Monday Night Football for League esports fans.
The idea behind the schedule changes seemed fair, but in practice, it could not stand up to its traditional sports counterpart in the NFL. When the LCS played on Monday nights, the league saw significant declines in viewership, even during premium matchups featuring top teams like Team Liquid and TSM. When the bottom-five teams were facing off, the numbers were even worse, forcing Riot to revert back to its regular schedule that following summer.
This coming year, the league will not only be playing on Thursdays and Fridays but will also be broadcast starting at a 2pm CT time slot, much to the chagrin of LCS enthusiasts around the country. This is a more friendly time for European supporters who wish to watch some NA games, but the region’s own fan base feels slighted—and for a good reason.
The LCS has declined in viewership drastically since its peak two years ago, going from 33 million hours watched during the 2020 Summer Split to 19 million this past season, according to streaming stats site Esports Charts. Since 2020, the league’s peak viewership number has plummeted by over 173,000 people, marking a steady decline that will only be accelerated by these new changes.
Many NA fans won’t be able to watch a good chunk of the games due to work and other responsibilities that last until the end of a typical workday around 5pm. As a result, viewers will be incentivized to watch VODs or highlights of a game day rather than rush home to catch some LCS games, which will lead to a steeper drop in live viewership numbers.
For those wanting to catch some live games, people will need to take time off from work. Unlike playoff games or international events, regular season gamedays aren’t nearly as worthwhile for their PTO. As the new schedule pushes away live audiences, the lack of in-person support will affect the hype and excitement for both players and viewers alike.
Additionally, it will be a lot harder to revert these changes since Riot would have to shift around both the LEC and its newest blossoming esport, VALORANT. The VCT Pacific and VCT Americas matches have jumped into the weekend spots, broadcasting on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday at 3pm CT and 2pm CT, respectively. Since Riot doesn’t want its various leagues to conflict with one another that much, there would be plenty of effort needed to find a happy medium for every league if more changes are decided upon.
In addition to the immediate hit to viewership, the schedule change will also cause an adverse effect on the growth of the LCS, especially with its younger audience. Most typical school days, for example, end at around 3:30pm to 5pm, not even considering the time required for extra-curricular activities and homework. During these times, university and college students are also busy with projects, tests, and other responsibilities during the week.
Because of the earlier start time, fans who are still in school might not be able to watch the broadcast, pushing away any prospective new viewers from the league. Instead, they’ll be incentivized to tune into leagues that are more friendly to their own schedules like the LEC, or other esports like VALORANT.
“It’s a change I raised a ton of concerns about internally, and it’s one that makes me worried for the future of the league that I love, and for my career as an LCS caster,” popular NA League caster Isaac “Azael” Cummings Bentley said on social media. “There’s data showing as many or even more viewers in some cases are watching Twitch on weekdays, but how will this apply to our audience? There’s a ton of questions left to be answered, and honestly only time will really tell how things will pan out.”
With a whole gamut of its audience getting alienated by the new hours, the 2023 LCS schedule is shaping up to create a massive rift between its fans, both now and in the future. If Riot isn’t able to make things work with the North American scene, this season could be the beginning of the league’s true downfall.
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Take a take a look at a few of the largest movers within the premarket:Credit Suisse (CS) – Credit Suisse slid 6.1% in premarket buying and selling after the financial institution sought to calm the fears of buyers and shoppers about its monetary well being over the weekend in a sequence of cellphone calls.Tesla (TSLA) – Tesla dropped 5.7% within the premarket after announcing deliveries of over 343,000 vehicles in the course of the third quarter. That quantity was a document excessive for Tesla and up 42% from a yr in the past, however beneath forecasts.ViaSat (VSAT) – ViaSat rallied 5.9% in premarket buying and selling after the Wall Street Journal reported that the satellite tv for pc firm was near a deal to promote a navy communications unit to protection contractor L3Harris Technologies (LHX) for practically $2 billion.Myovant Sciences (MYOV) – Myovant surged 31.3% within the premarket after the biopharmaceutical firm rejected a bid by its largest shareholder, Sumitovant Biopharma, to purchase the shares it would not already personal for $22.75 per share. Myovant stated the supply considerably undervalues the corporate.Robinhood Markets (HOOD) – Robinhood introduced it was closing 5 further workplaces, on high of closures introduced in August as a part of a restructuring. The newly introduced closures for the buying and selling platform operator will end in fees of about $45 million. Robinhood fell 1% within the premarket.Vodafone (VOD) – The telecom firm's shares jumped 3.2% in premarket motion after Vodafone confirmed a Sky News report that merger talks between Vodafone and UK rival Three UK have accelerated.Stanley Black & Decker (SWK) – The software maker has eradicated about 1,000 finance-related jobs, in accordance with The Wall Street Journal. Stanley Black & Decker is in search of to chop about $200 million in bills because it offers with larger prices and slowing demand.Freshpet (FRPT) – Freshpet rose 2.3% in premarket buying and selling after Barron's reported that the pet meals firm employed bankers to discover a doable sale.Box (BOX) – Box jumped 3.7% within the premarket after Morgan Stanley upgraded the cloud computing firm's inventory to "overweight" from "equal-weight," pointing to robust execution and a good aggressive panorama.
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We Need To Talk About How None Of You Are Talking About CONFESS, FLETCH
David Fear for Rolling Stone:
Hahahaha, we’re totally kidding. Of course you have not heard there’s a new Fletch movie out. You have not been inundated with billboards, surrounded by full-page ads, beset by TV spots and trailers galore. You did not know that not only has this been out in theaters — possibly one or two near you! — since September 16th, but can also be rented digitally and/or online as well. Maybe you caught Jon Hamm doing his patented Jon Hamm thing on a late-night talk show, or more likely, saw clips on YouTube of Jon Hamm showing up on a late-night talk show, but weren’t exactly sure about the 411 of what he was promoting. What is this? When is it out? What’s he confessing to, or about? Is this a religious movie?
There is a poster, and a trailer, and the movie did get a Los Angeles premiere that allowed Hamm, director Greg Mottola and several other cast members to walk a red carpet — we know this only because we’ve seen photographic evidence, although we’re not quite convinced this isn’t a false-flag gala event. Some reviews trickled in; the majority of them were extremely positive. But in terms of an actually getting the word out that the movie exists in the first place? A movie like this should not automatically fall through the cracks. That said: how do you sell something like Confess, Fletch in the Year of Our Lord 2022, i.e. a comedy not featuring Will Ferrell or Ryan Reynolds, in which no Marvel heroes or Jedis or people named Harry Styles show up, and involving a film franchise that dropped its last entry prior to the first Iraq War?
A great piece which absolutely skewers how dire the state of moviemaking is when something as downright delightful as a new Fletch movie starring the absolutely goddamned star-worthy performance of Jon Hamm can’t even get a taste of oxygen.
I watched the movie over the weekend. You can too. It’s on VOD. And it’s a great laugh. But sadly, there just isn’t room for much more of these movies these days.
As Fear writes…
What is a tragedy is that a worthy movie like Confess, Fletch, which not only touches upon a gaggle of past genres (the ’80s raunch-com, the ’30s screwball, the murder-mystery farce, the launchpads for established marquee names to level up) but hits each mark so delightfully, no longer have a chance to find an audience at all, much less one that would respond to it. Frankly, it’s a minor miracle this exists at all. A complete willingness to creatively bring this market and get it in front of people dooms not only this movie but every one just like it. Unless you want nothing but franchises aimed at 11-year-olds, you’ll soon be out of luck. It’s. A. Huge. Fucking. Loss. And not just for those of those who live, breathe, eat, sleep and love movies.
Watch this damn movie. And tell your friends about it.
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[Horror News] LISA FRANKENSTEIN, THE POPE’S EXORCIST, THE MENU, and more
Welcome to HORROR NEWS RADIO for August 15, 2022. Tonight, we have casting news for LISA FRANKENSTEIN and THE POPE'S EXORCIST, along with trailer news for THE MENU and CABINET OF CURIOSITIES.
I am your host Doc Rotten and this is HNR, the official GRUESOME MAGAZINE HORROR NEWS podcast. Back with me again are the scariest, goriest, bloodiest co-hosts on the 'Net.
Dave Dreher, the lead news writer at Gruesome Magazine
Crystal Cleveland, the Livin6dead6irl
And Vanessa, Podcasting Rock Star and International Cosplay Queen
UPCOMING FILMS
Lionsgate sets October 27, 2023 for the next installment of the SAW franchise (Saw X?). "Kevin Greutert, who directed Saw VI an Saw: The Final Chapter and edited Saw I through V and Jigsaw, will helm the latest installment"
https://deadline.com/2022/08/saw-sequel-halloween-2023-release-1235092699/
The Bohemia Group is set to adapt one of Stephen King's "Richard Bachman" bestsellers, THE REGULATORS. George Cowan is scripting the western horror-thriller.
Synopsis: Peaceful suburban life on Poplar Street in Wentworth, Ohio is shattered when four vans containing shotgun-wielding “regulators” terrorize the street’s residents, cold-bloodedly killing anyone foolish enough to venture outdoors. Houses mysteriously transform into log cabins and the street now ends in what looks like a child’s hand-drawn western landscape. Masterminding this sudden onslaught is an evil creature who has taken over the body of an autistic boy whose parents were killed in a drive-by shooting several months earlier.
https://deadline.com/2022/08/the-regulators-film-based-on-stephen-king-novel-in-works-at-bohemia-group-1235089181/
What to watch this weekend, you ask…
GLORIOUS (SHUDDER) 8/18
BEAST 8/19 Theaters
ORPHAN: FIRST KILL 8/19 Theaters and Paramount+
THE IMMACULATE ROOM 8/19 Theaters and VOD
CASTING NEWS
Screen Gems' THE POPE'S EXORCIST expands its cast with the legendary actor Franco Nero as…The Pope
Synopsis: Portrayal of a real-life figure Father Gabriele Amorth, a priest who acted as chief exorcist of the Vatican and who performed more than 100,000 exorcisms in his lifetime. (He passed away in 2016 at the age of 91.) Amorth wrote two memoirs -- An Exorcist Tells His Story and An Exorcist: More Stories -- and detailed his experiences battling Satan and demons that had clutched people in their evil.
https://deadline.com/2022/08/the-popes-exorcist-adds-laurel-marsden-franco-nero-cornell-s-john-more-1235088253/
Carla Gugino and more join the cast of LISA FRANKENSTEIN written by Diablo Cody. Zelda Williams directs.
Synopsis: In 1989, an unpopular high school girl named Lisa accidentally re-animates a handsome Victorian corpse during a lightning storm and starts to rebuild him into the man of her dreams by using the broken tanning bed in her garage.
https://deadline.com/2022/08/lisa-frankenstein-adds-carla-gugino-liza-soberano-joe-chrest-more-1235090223/
TRAILERS
GUILLERMO DEL TORO’S CABINET OF CURIOSITIES arrives on NETLIX on October 25, 2022
Searchlight Pictures releases THE MENU on November 18, 2022. Cast: Anya Taylor-Joy, Nicholas Hoult, Ralph Fiennes, John Leguizamo, Judith Light, Hong Chau. Mark Mylod directs. Synopsis: A young couple travel to a remote island to eat at an exclusive restaurant where the chef has prepared a lavish menu, with some shocking surprises.
SHUDDER streams the Senegal action/horror thriller SALOUM on September 8, 2022. Directed by Jean Luc Herbulot. Synopsis: 2003, three mercenaries extracting a druglord out of Guinea-Bissau are forced to hide in the mystical region of Saloum, Senegal.
FEEDBACK
Shawn Parks: "I'm excited about the return of Horror News Radio"
Chad White: "Great show, looking forward for more episodes"
James Hudson: "Glad to have the news back."
Bill Gabriel: "Pearl is definitely a must see."
Thank you for hanging out with the Grue-Crew. Be sure to hit the LIKE, SUBSCRIBE buttons, or Share with a Friend. Every click counts. Check out the Patreon link below and we'll see you next week. Be sure to catch our film reviews on GRUESOME MAGAZINE and our retro reviews on DECADES OF HORROR:
ORPHAN: FIRST KILL
THE INNOCENTS (SHUDDER)
GLORIOUS (SHUDDER)
STARCRASH (Decades of Horror 1970s)
Check out this episode!
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Morbius’ Rerelease at Box Office: ‘Everything Everywhere
'Everything, Everywhere All At Once' and 'Morbius'A24 In stupid bits of field workplace trivia, A24 again the Daniels’ Everything, Everywhere All at Once into 1,490 theaters in its nineteenth week of home release. The Michelle Yeoh-led multiverse action/fable melodrama earned an additional $650,000 to reinforce its home cume as much as $68.eight million.
That’s now no longer exactly a barn-burning number, with simply $434 consistent with theatre (decrease than the preceding weekend’s $556 consistent with-theater haul in one hundred seventy auditoriums), which makes feel for the reason that movie has been out for 5 months and has been on DVD, VOD and EST for the remaining month and change.
However, the movie did pass $one hundred million global on an over/under $20 million finances, a primary for any A24 flick. Moreover, it earned greater than Sony’s truly prank-ish reissue of Morbius in early June. So yes, on this particular circumstance, Everything, Everywhere All at Once crowned Morbius on the field workplace.
Sony reissued Jared Leto’s Morbius into 1,037 theaters in early June, a often useless weekend sans any tremendous new huge releases.
Whether Sony definitely believed that the net memes and social media chatter become indicative of real hobby or whether (as I might argue) they had been gambling along, the movie earned simply $310,000 over the weekend, basically bombing twice. The poorly reviewed Marvel (however now no longer pretty MCU) flick earned $seventy four million home from a $39 million beginning and $164 million global.
The handiest cause it’s now no longer a complete disaster is that it cost $seventy five million. Moreover, Sony has been on a relative roll in view that Venom: Let There Be Carnage proved remaining October (thru a $ninety million debut and eventual $505 million international cume) that film theaters had been secure for preordained blockbusters. When Spider-Man: No Way Home tops $1.ninety one billion, Morbius failing to brush is greater of... an emotional wound.
Sony had first rate grosses (and first rate reviews) for Ghostbusters: Afterlife, which earned $2 hundred million global on a $seventy five million finances (instead of the also-properly Ghostbusters: Answer the Call which grossed $226 million on a $a hundred and forty four million finances in 2016).
It scored with Spider-Man three model 2.0, retroactively turning beyond fumbles with the Toby Maguire/Andrew Garfield Spider-Man franchises into gas for its largest grosser ever.
Uncharted passed $four hundred million and probably spawned a brand new franchise, even as Where the Crawdads Sing goes to top $70 million home on a $24 million finances, legging out because the handiest massive film of the summer time season geared toward grownup women.Fingers crossed that Brad Pitt’s Bullet Train, Viola Davis’ The Woman King and Jonathan Majors and Glenn Powell’s Devotion, will attempt to make a case that Sony can do greater than simply open Spider-Man and Venom movies.
The Morbius whiff is embarrassing, to be sure. Moreover, it’s feasible proof that Venom become the exception to the guideline of thumb in phrases of audiences displaying as much as this “Spider-Man horrific men getting a spin-off film” sub-franchise.
Everything Everywhere All at Once proved to be (in phrases of legs) the Greatest Showman of youth-skewing indie flicks.
It is but every other signal that, along side Elvis trouncing Lightyear, Where the Crawdads Sing probably passing Morbius locally and Top Gun: Maverick pulling Star Wars-degree grosses, there’s multiple manner to make cash on the movies.
If it ends within side the Oscar race, and I’m guessing it will, a reissue may be sufficient to locate that extra $four million and push it beyond Morbius’ home total, only for spite.
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I'm sorry if someone's already asked or you've mentioned this before, but will you upload your twitch vods at some point? I've been trying to catch your streams live when I can and they're so fun! If there's some way to watch older streams back that would be great
I WILL I promise I will it's just that my computer is sooooo goddamn decrepit and on the verge of keeling over and breathing its last, so whenever I try to edit or even upload a 3 hour vod it takes forever and just can't handle it. I either have to skip a saturday stream and then set aside a whole weekend or wait until I'm done my contract I think. Or yknow replace my computer which I'm closer and closer to doing every day
#anon#ask#you're not the first person to ask and you won't be the last because people in my chat constantly rib me about it so it's ok
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