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nikatyler · 1 year

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𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟚

Time for a recap of the last twelve months! It's basically my tradition at this point. This year was a weird one. I'm not even gonna get into real life issues. It sure was something and I'm going into 2023 with no energy and zero expectations, lol. But with this mindset, I can only be pleasantly surprised, right? Or...the world will show me that when you think it can't get any worse, it will.

Anyway, simblr stuff! This is the year I started drifting away from tumblr. It makes me sad, but really, it just isn't the same as it was when I joined. The interaction is not what I wish to get so I'm simply moving to places where I feel like I'm actually heard and seen. Idk. I've tried a few times to "be the change I wanna see" but it's hard to change stuff around here. But oh well, to each their own. I'll probably stick around, even if I hang out more somewhere else and what you see are mostly queued posts. And, well, if twitter burns down, which I wouldn't be surprised if it did, you know I'll fully come back here. I love this hellsite. Genuinely. It makes me mad but I love it.

But I still love you guys. TS3 discord and a few other people who are not in that discord, I do seriously love you.

So, what was happening on this blog this year?

𝕛𝕒𝕟𝕦𝕒𝕣𝕪

I was still posting my previous BC! Well, I was finishing it. Vi became a parent and hadn't become a cheating jerk yet. 😅

𝕗𝕖𝕓𝕣𝕦𝕒𝕣𝕪

*this* is Vi's cheating jerk era. I still feel bad about how I resolved the whole thing, it was too rushed. I guess I was focusing more on the gameplay part and the NSB rules and less on whether their actions are logical? Prince shouldn't have come back to him, that's the hill I'll die on :D I know, I know, NSB rules and all, but he shouldn't have.

𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕔𝕙

We're slowly moving onto Bloom's very short generation, as well as gen 3 of my lepacy. It's Ginevra's time to shine, but first, we spent a lot of time with the winners of Axel and August's BC.

𝕒𝕡𝕣𝕚𝕝

Bambi and Candy are born, as well as the BC babies. Loads of baby cuteness in April on this blog. Oh and Ross flourishes in his babysitter era. Well, he's always been a babysitter to his descendants, but I feel like this is where he 100 % accepts it 😂

𝕞𝕒𝕪

Gins' era truly starts now (why do I keep saying era in this recap lmao). I had a lot of fun playing in Twinbrook again and Ginevra and Lori were so great. <3

𝕛𝕦𝕟𝕖

Alongside my lepacy (hi Elias & other gen 4 babies), I started posting the pink gen of NSB and also, my 100 Baby Challenge! I still can't believe I actually did that, and that I completed it in like two months only. Wow. What. I mean, yeah, I hyperfocused on it, but still. How did I do that.

𝕛𝕦𝕝𝕪

Again, gen 3 of lepacy and gen 7 of NSB, not much to say here. As for playing, I mostly just played the baby challenge. Oh! And Maeve's BC, of course.

Ohh, and July was the month when I decided to dive into the wonderful sims community on twitter. Probably one of my best decisions this year as I made many great friends there...🥰🥰

𝕒𝕦𝕘𝕦𝕤𝕥

Gen 3 ends and Sawyer is ready to take over Bridgeport but he has to wait for a bit. Pastel enters the blog and her bonding with Ross is seriously one of my most favourite things. I didn't think of this at first when I was playing, it only came to me later when I was posting the generation, but he definitely grew fond of her because she reminds him of Sunset so much ;-;

𝕤𝕖𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣

Good news: Bambi and Atsuko get married. Bad news: Ross and Caleb break up. *sigh* There's so much to unpack with their breakup storyline. Yes it makes sense that they'd hit a few bumps on the road, yes it makes sense that some of them would be bad, but...deep down, the breakup only happened because of my insecurities and lowkey being afraid of using a townie in my stories. At least I kinda got over that this fall (thank you twitter moots).

More good news: I'm finally posting the BC!!

𝕠𝕔𝕥𝕠𝕓𝕖𝕣

I finished posting the 100BC and...yeah this was Maeve's month. October was also very vampiric, but I'll probably mention that in a separate recap (if I do a separate recap haha), as this one only focuses on my regular daily content (legacies and such)

𝕟𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣

In November, we saw the funniest twist to ever happen in my BCs. Sorry River :D Aaand we also have the winner of Maeve's BC! I can't wait for you all to see them again in the legacy. Next year, hopefully.

𝕕𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣

Sawyer's time to shine has come. Well, not really, his siblings are constantly stealing it. Don't be surprised if he one day, you know, steals their organs and sells them.

Oh, and it's also TS3!Ross's time to shine. Because of course it is. I knew I needed to use his TS3 self somewhere, and all things considered, this felt like a perfect time for that.

December was also the month I started posting videos on youtube. I'm sorry if I'm annoying about that, but I just enjoy it so much. Never thought I'd say that. So, if you haven't yet, feel free to check it out (and subscribe maybe? 🥺). I'm hoping to do some fun stuff next year.

What's in store for 2023? I'll probably talk about that later, but to put it simply, I think this blog will be stuck with NSB and lepacy.

Thanks for sticking around with my grumpy self. Here's to a better 2023.

Happy new year, everyone!

#ts4 #ts3 #sims 4 #sims 3 #the sims 3 #the sims 4 #sims #simblr #fleur extra #breeze nsb legacy extra

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bylertruther · 1 year

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what do you think about "my life started that day we found you in the woods"

lets start with my knee-jerk reaction, which is

but then when i finally let the all-consuming mama bear spartan rage flow through and out of me, i remember that they had no idea what was wrong with el or how to help her as she seemingly choked to death right in front of them.

they'd dealt with something similar once when will was possessed, though, and will remembers that it was mike and his family professing their love for him that gave him the strength to fight back. so, naturally, he urges mike to do the same now, because he thinks it would mean more if it came from him. he's the heart after all.

we know based off of mike's own dialogue in scenes from other seasons that he doesn't believe in love at first sight. he even repeats as much in the van scene before they pick her up. he says that lie, along with everything else, because he thinks it's what she wants and needs to hear. he's not thinking about anyone or anything else in that moment, he's just locked in on saving her life right now by any means necessary. if will, the person he trusts most in the world and who told him it was him that saved him, tells him this is a time for monologues just like last time, then that's what he's going to do. mike doesn't actually think their love is like that of fairy tales or comic books, but he knows that she wishes it could be and that she'd been previously begging him to say i love you and according to will apparently needs him, so he just does what he can to help her now. because he doesn't want her to die! and he doesn't know what else he could possibly do! (the true love confession worked in s2 but did not work in s4 bc it wasn't true and it wasn't true love <3)

mike's confession is a knock-off of the one he gave will in the shed and will's van confession. "my life started that day we met you in the woods" / "do you remember the first day that we met? [..] it was the best thing i've ever done." like... c'mon, mike, lmao. he highlights her differences and puts her on a pedestal for them, because will's confession ("you make her feel like she's better for being different") led him to believe that that's what she wants and what gives her strength, but it isn't. it's literally the complete opposite and this season spent 39480938094830 years showing us in 9834309840930 ways just how much she hates that shit. instead, the person that gave her strength was the one person that looked at her, saw a girl, and treated her like one. aka, max. it's only when mike she looks over at her and mike stops lying that she wills the vines away.

so yeah. i could go on but the tl;dr is that will's heart-shattering, kicked puppy dog face makes me want to kill myself fifty times over and bite michael like a squeaky toy, BUT. then i remember the context and i'm like oh yeah no. that tracks. makes sense that he'd say that. he's breaking his code to save her life, which is like.. really fucking serious lol. he repeatedly and firmly did not want to lie to her about this and refused to even when pressed, but he'll do it if it means saving her life and the alternative is her dying and the world dying too. he's also working off of a big lie told to him by the one person that he trusts more than anyone in the entire world, including himself, that's the complete opposite of how eleven actually feels. so, like. literally what else is he supposed to do. he got in trouble for plagiarizing an essay in s2 and here he is doing it again smh old habits die hard i guess regurgitating and trying to imitate intimate moments of his and will's for eleven just like he did in s3 when he tried and failed to tell her he was acting like that bc he was going crazy in "love" lmao 🙄

#i get sad when i think of will not knowing the full story bc he's a character #same with mike tbh he's just trying his best while getting lied to left and fucking right can't do shit right in this fucking bitch #but then i Remember and Realize and i'm like lmao u guys are soooooooooo funny making urselves miserable for nothing xoxo #asks

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abysslll · 2 years

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i’m asking about your brubba playlist

!!!!!!

okok i'm definitely excited a normal amount about this ghklsjdjsd, quick warning for (major) spoilers + the longest fucking post of all time and yeah let's get into it i'm gonna go through the top five songs:

so . sdhgksldgh. ok. arms tonite is literally such a perfect song for them, the lyric "i cried hard because i have died and you're alive" works sO FUCKING WELL FOR BRUNO AFTER HE DIES THE FIRST TIME??? like he obvious realizes he's dead pretty soon and he's probably devastated because he knows he's not going to make it, but then abbacchio dies too and then he's even more sad bc even though he didn't want to leave him he didn't want him to die either obviously

i just think the "i fell hard in your arms tonight" lyric is so perfect bc my version of canon has them survive and they get a happy ending definitely has some abbacchio dying in bruno's arms action. idk they're tragic lovers change my mind-

ok next song up: home!! as well as being absolutely fucking obsessed with this song, i also think almost every lyric works for bruabba?? rundown: "often i'm upset that i cannot fall in love but i guess / are you tired of me yet?" and the whole "get a load of this monster/trainwreck" part are all fucking perfect lines for abbacchio, he doesn't understand why bruno loves him bc of his serious self worth issues and he thinks he's just a waste of space and uGH

MEANWHILE "i'm a little sick right now but i swear when i'm ready i will fly us out of here / are you dead? sometimes i think i'm dead / i'll figure out a way to get us out of here" are just so so so so good for bruno, bc he doesn't want to be a bad person and he knows abbacchio isn't either, but their situation forces them to kill and it's Bad so he wants to take over the mafia to give abbacchio the life he deserves, plus the whole are you dead lyrics are Literally Him after the king crimson fight

home is the one i wanted to ramble about the most, it's so soft and sad and i have to think about them every time i hear it. i can just see bruno taking everything on trying to get them to the top so abbacchio doesn't have to hurt people anymore, and abbacchio wanting to help but not able to (at least at first) because of his addiction and he just wants bruno to be happy and :(((((

digital love is fairly self explanatory and also a cheerfuller/not tragic song, i think it describes their relationship really well because they're both definitely the type of people to be like "we are in love but cannot do a single thing about it bc it is not appropriate in this situation we must Pine" and pine they do. i like to think they dream about each other a lot

i will follow you into the dark is just such a good song for them bc it's literally about two lovers(?) dying, like ????? "no blinding light / or tunnels to gates of white / just our hands clasped so tight" like i KNOW that canonically abbacchio goes to purgatory and bruno to heaven but you can't separate them in death it's just not right 😭😭😭😭 they're up there in heaven together watching giorno and mista be dumbasses oH ALSO "you and me have seen everything to see" bc they spent the majority of their adulthood together and they were with each other throughout everything. this song makes me cry so much they deserved everything

ok last up problems i found this song like yesterday and i am so obsessed with it, it is the most abbacchio pov song i've ever heard. just the entire song ["i'm a loser, a disgrace / you're a beauty, a luminary"] is So spot on??? he totally looks up to bruno as this saint, even though bruno is just some guy trying to make the world better. even if he does see bruno as a normal person there's no fucking way he thinks they could ever possibly be on the same level he hates himself too much for that. bruno just wants him to get over it and kiss him lmao-

ok in conclusion i love them, and araki's homophobic for killing them (/j). thank u for enabling my rambling jan i love you !!! /p

oh oh also for any jjba fans (or just followers idk) who see this and wanna know the playlist you can listen to it here !

#jan <3 #endless asks #bruabba #jjba tag

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thattimdrakeguy · 1 year

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(Gives You a Big Virtual Hug)

You ain’t Dumb to Me, Buddy

If all those past meta posts and analyses in the past are anything to go by, you’re insightful and passionate in your points and research

You’re pretty smart, that’s all I have to say ;-)

i don't mean to be rude, but reread the post slowly lmao

i think in most instances it's actually less of a case of being smart, and more just being simply competent

like there was a time when i was able to read people so well, that i'd know how a full 30 minute conversation would go off of two sentences, and in a pretty detailed way too, and i played the conversation like it was chess because i was a lonely internet fuck that found arguing to be too much fun

so i was still a bit of an idiot, but like, y'know, i'm like dumber now. can't do that now even when it could be used in a practical useful way

i also used to be able to give some actually good advice that'd work for people

and generally speaking be able to think in a strong competent manner that'd let me get to the point of things a lot faster without any "uh, uh, uh" moments so i was just more efficient

it doesn't sound that impressive without explaining a specific encounter in detail, because admittedly it's not that impressive

like i'm not about to talk about my days as a dick-headed internet turd (this is pre-tumblr by the way, so it wasn't always out of good-hearted passion either, like i was a proper asshole) as if i'm some mega-genius

i'm not graduating with a doctorate within only two years or anything

i don't mean smart as in that type of smart

i just simply used to be more competent in areas that i could use more nowadays but now lack the ability

because back when i played conversations like chess, being even somewhat manipulative during stuff like that, it just made me a very easily frustrated, impatient, joyless person

but now i can't do shit at all to the point i fail in conversation because my brain won't even give me a response that sounds like i give a shit when i do very much genuinely give a shit

it probably has something to do with severe depression over intense crabbiness but i don't know

like i've never been good at normal conversation. again, i'm not claiming to be a mega genius

i could just really use some of those communication skills and thinking abilities nowadays, just hopefully in ways that won't make me a bitter, unhappy, friendless, buffoon, that spent my time feeling like i was better than everyone all because i could get people to clown themselves easily

i don't consider having endless trivia about stuff most people don't care about intelligence. i don't think most people do in regards to themselves

like i'm autistic, and i think a lot of people can relate to me in that regard. ya know like it's less intelligence, and more just an obsessive drive to learn about stuff we find interesting. so our brain sucks in all this useless info, but it doesn't make us by default necessarily intelligent per say (i never spell that right do i)

i have no valuable life skills, and i'll probably die from incompetence

i also got that 'gifted child' syndrome that i know people can relate to

i'm not a unique mister special cupcake or anything

doesn't make it any less hard to deal with, though.

thank you for allowing me to waste your time, and sorry for the dump

my therapist been on break, and my dad nearly died lately so i don't feel like dumping anything on him

sorry it all came out on you, though, but it was one of those burst moments

don't think i said anything too far, but, uh, my bad if i did

Long Story Short, I had some skills that weren't that special, realistically speaking, but I don't have them now, and they'd be useful. But I had them when I was a lowly bitter fuck. Now I'm a useless sad fuck. But I can at least laugh and smile so it's not as bad as it could be. Keep positive and your chin up and stuff and all that.

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sixthwater · 2 years

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🎟️Synastry and: the Friends IV🎟️

I deadass forgot my childhood friend and the fact that I finally got her chart let's ignore that though

Note: This is using and based off of personal experience, I will be using specific people and referencing them throughout the post

Me & ✈️'s placements

☉: Cancer / Pisces ☽: Taurus / Libra ☿: Cancer / Pisces ♀: Cancer / Aquarius ♂: Virgo / Leo

I really can't think of any media to relate back to us, but shuri & t'challa are the closest thing really because we're both smart-asses we love venusian moons!!!!!!

💺Overlays

Mutual Sun, Mercury & Venus in 1st House

Now, using placidus this is cutting it close because ✈️ is right on the edge of my 2nd house but I'm going to interpret it as 1st because I get more of those vibes. We both tend to support the other in whatever path we want to take, or lift the other up when we're down. I was not the popular kid in school, while she was. Our parents befriended each other since we lived across the street and that's how we met and we vibed pretty well because I knew how to leave her alone and she knew how to be 'careful' with me. So whenever she noticed me pulling away, being awkward, or heading off because of this reason (too much crowding), she would go out of her way to make sure I was comfortable and I knew she wasn't bothered by me being there and if anyone had a problem then they had a problem with her too--praising or uplifting qualities that she liked in me that she said was hard to find in others, and that I shouldn't change to make others feel comfortable. Which helped me be more confident within myself and honest, and found out that her friends (which eventually became mine) actually found that side of me funny and liked it. Meanwhile, there were dreams and passions of hers that she wanted to pursue that people usually clowned her for and she usually didn't bring them up too much unless she played along with them. However I usually just let her talk and pushed her to keep pursuing it if it made her happy and joined in the activities while sometimes joking around on what she's going to put on her resume when she applies for stuff.

*It's important to note that her Saturn is also placed within my first house as well, meaning that I can sometimes feel like I have to 'reach her level' at times (popularity and social battery). This cools down the blind worship (by paramore) and can help how I'm viewing things so I'm not tilting too far in either way.

**Special note to remember our Descendants. Hers being Capricorn and mine being Leo. She was known to always have people around her, and get along with many groups, and always have people fawning over her. Meanwhile, I had my own group of friends but I wasn't really a socialite, I could be seen as shy until you get to know me, and you could say that I took school kind of seriously minus the depression. With some generational planets being placed in her 7th, venusian moon, and an Aquarius venus, it makes sense for her to like my company. For me, I only having my rising, and it highly depends on the rest of the chart if I like Leo influenced people, so very lucky for us.

Me: Moon in 11th / ✈️: Moon in 8th

Best-friends!!!!!!!!!!! Now I'm going to be honest, I don't necessarily feel the descriptor depth of the 8th overlay here for us, but then again people are very weird about the 8th house. Honestly I just appreciate this overlay for our relationship because it creates a very relaxed friend vibe? Truly we have only texted each other for holidays, or when she planned a trip when I was stuck in a shitty job and couldn't see her, but we both know if we ever needed the other for something then it's a no brainer and we would do it. There's no like, 'I'd DIE for you' feeling here but there's a bond that's been made that's not going to be broken over something small lmao. I know there's some thoughts, feelings, and incidents that other people definitely don't know about that she's trusted me with, and I've spent hours over at her house just doing absolutely nothing and never really felt bored.

Me: Mars in 4th / ✈️: Mars in 7th

Very interesting overlay. As you've read a dozen times now: we are childhood friends. So I've interacted with a good amount of her family, and when we were young adults her aunt had told me about the influence I had over a relative of hers. I also was basically adopted by their family and practically always forced to come to family events because I was family after a certain point. Interestingly enough, I'm not a very pro-active person when it comes to other people's business, unless it's like, a concern lmao. The basis here is that depending on the aspects or the native's chart themselves, if you're the Mars person and it's a 4th overlay, you can either positively impact the 4th house's family relations or really mess it up and I'm sure you'll know Immediately which one it is. As for the 7th overlay, it kinda was the same thing? No one ever second-guessed that she would be invited to anything I was hosting that would need invitation, before I even got around to figuring out how I wanted to go about it, it was just 'yeah she's coming'. It's also to be noted that she's usually the one that is visually seen as dominant from an outside perspective (we're both very chill but if we had to pick one, it'd be her), but that's about it for the 7th house.....I really don't pick up on 7th house overlays for a bitch that has a lot of them

🛰️Aspects

OKAY THE FUN PART. We don't have a lot to scream about, which can attribute to why our relationship is so detached, but what is interesting is that we have a lot of creative aspects at tight degrees:

Me > ✈️

Sun Biquintile Mercury Moon Quintile Mercury Jupiter Quintile Chiron Jupiter Sextile Moon Chiron Biquintile Venus

etcetc, the rest of our aspects are about 4-5 degrees or more, or other minor aspects. Obviously we take the major aspects above these minor ones, but I just thought that, with two Venusian moons who want to follow a creative/healing path for their careers, to have these aspects between them? That's really interesting that's madly wild and I want to explore that.

I've also stated earlier before about our descendants and how we gravitated towards each other but it helps that with our natal chart and how they're working separately, it helps us navigate the waters when dealing with each other. With how I talked about my brother, we both know how to not be clingy with the other, while also showing care for each other at the same time. Sometimes less is more for certain placements or combinations.

With her Cancer rising and Pisces mercury, she can draw people in because she seems very soft and fragile, however her Aquarius venus, Leo Mars, and Cap DSC has a very big bite once she lets you in. Her Libra moon does a good job of balancing appearance and snark too, so people tend to forget that her water placements are still there and she can still get hurt. Meanwhile my Aquarius rising, Virgo mars and 6th stellium can be off putting because I don't necessarily let people in very easily and am Radiating nervous, tense energy. Plus my Saturn in 1st combined with all of that makes it seem like I'm put together and I can handle myself and I'm highly critical. Then you get underneath that and find all of my Cancer placements, Taurus moon, plus my Leo DSC, meaning that I'm just a big baby who wants attention. So with our charts already dealing with similar energies and being able to tell what the other person needs, and when, it really helps us be able to navigate our friendship a lot easier than other relationships that, on paper, should be working out. And That's Why Natal Charts Are Still Important In Synastry.

We don't really keep in contact too much, but when we do it's like we never stopped texting each other and she's still one of the first people that come to mind when I list off some of the closest people to me. ~Just Aquarius placement things~

#astrology #platonic synastry #synastry #mygalaxypost #am I about to drop like ten of these? yeah #I'm hyper focusing right now don't look at me

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fonulyn · 3 years

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So I'm reading this sad Chreon story - as one does (it's me, I'm one) - and I just had the weirdest epiphany? Like, I dunno, it's probably dumb and far from a hot take or some eye opening character analysis no one has done before but I noticed that people (including myself, so like not saying this in any kind of bad way) tend to write Leon as stand offish, apathetic, and cold. Like this story stated it specifically, said something along the lines of "this is what Leon gets for cultivating a reputation for being unapproachable, apathetic, and indifferent" and the insinuation there is that he's done this on purpose, put on this front to seem unaffected by things when in the presence of others, and I think it's pretty true for his character. Like anything post RE2, Leon is kind of. I dunno, I wanna say deadpan? He seems to express v little emotion, and when he does it's usually in the form of a quip, one-liner, or snarky come back. Sometimes awkward small talk lol. But it feels like he's built this wall, this persona around himself, not just to protect himself from losing more people (bc he probably sees it as some kind of inevitability, and with his track record I certainly wouldn't blame him), but to protect people from him. This poor man has spent so long fighting, trying to save people, and even tho he saves the day in the end, so many people get lost in the process, and Leon feels every single loss personally. Right off the bat we see it every time someone dies in RE2, then again in RE4 with Luis, who he knew for a short period of time and yet mourned so heavily for, and even Krauser to an extent. Leon is someone who is quick to trust, even as he gets older, and we see that in RE Vendetta, too. Like that's probably one of the big reasons he's so devastated after losing his team. Not only was he entrusted with a group (which doesn't happen often, as far as we have seen), but he probably put his trust in them as well, including Petrucio, the man who betrayed them. I just think Leon is such a complex character who hides so much of himself (which is convenient for bad writers at Capcom who can't write good dialogue to save their lives lmao, but I also think it's a decent part of his character now), probably so what happened in RE2 doesn't happen again. Bc that shit was probably so traumatizing, and Leon was still a baby! I'm only a year older then he was at the time of RE2 but like, as humans our brains don't finish growing until age 25, so that kind of trauma at that age is for sure gonna stick with you, and it seems he picked up some unhealthy coping mechanisms from it that's more than just his drinking problem. Anyways I guess I just wanted to rant about how Leon is the most "emotionless" character in RE but in reality he feels and cares so much, so much so that if he doesn't put up that mask of indifference then he'll destroy himself. This man would die so that others could live, he's saved the world multiple times without a care for himself past the need to finish his mission and keep as many people as possible safe. He's such a tragic character and I love him so goddamn much, like he's one of those characters who you aspire to be like, in a way. Selfless, capable, dependable, reliable, smart, passionate, caring. And some of this might be my own character building I've done based off of other headcanons and character analysis posts and stories I've seen, but I do think we see a lot of this in the canon content, too. I just really love Leon S Kennedy, okay? He makes me sad but also so so happy and I love him v much, he is a big time comfort character for me. Sorry for the rant, just needed to scream about this with someone who would understand lol 😅

oh anon, I get you, I dooo. I think that you're right in that Leon has kind of this shell around himself because it's the only way he can cope. but there are so many cracks in his shell, and he lets people in so readily even when it would stand to reason that he shouldn't trust anyone anymore. he gets attached to people lightning fast, and he'd die for them even when he's barely met them.

this borders on headcanon territory, definitely, but I tend to often write him as someone who gets attached easily and falls for people easily (be it friendship or romantic or anything), but then he doesn't know how to properly let people in because he's got his defense mechanisms, he's trying to keep himself from breaking, and what if he truly lets someone past those walls and then another disaster strikes and he never recovers from it?

and I think it shows a lot in how he's so awkward with small talk, he can throw in one-liners and dad jokes and try to keep his own (and anyone else's) spirits up with that. but oh man. beyond that? the boy doesn't know how to naturally talk to people. (even like in Infinite Darkness, with Claire, I think his "don't do anything stupid" was 100% meant to be a joke, both times, but it just didn't exactly land perfectly. poor awkward bby)

but like even though he might put up this unaffected front, he's still so very expressive? like... if you really pay attention to him? he's far from actually an expressionless and cold person. he just isn't very loud about it. (i was just going through ID screencaps yesterday and while Shen May is talking and Leon is on the background, he goes through such a journey in expressions alone :'D)

AND HE CARES. like, for example in Infinite Darkness, he sees Patrick is shaken and the first possible moment he has, he immediately asks him if he's okay and takes a moment to reassure him. they're in a hurry, he's supposed to get going and not check up on a guy he's never even met before, but he does it anyway. and I think it speaks a lot of his character. he's quick to offer support and comfort, and he genuinely tries to be there for others the best he can. he desperately needs someone to listen to him in turn, seriously. give him emotional support, damnit.

and I wanna highlight what you said:

in reality he feels and cares so much, so much so that if he doesn't put up that mask of indifference then he'll destroy himself. This man would die so that others could live, he's saved the world multiple times without a care for himself past the need to finish his mission and keep as many people as possible safe.

because yes. 100%. also this:

he's one of those characters who you aspire to be like, in a way.

like. yes. there was this one meme thing going around which was basically like asking if you feel like you're like your favorite character and I'm just. I fucking wish I was one tenth of what he is :'D

I know not even he is perfect, c'mon, no such thing as perfect people exist (not even in fiction, or if they do then they'd be really damn boring :'D). i'm not trying to claim he has no flaws, or that he never does anything wrong. he has and he does. but the amount of genuine caring he shows and how hard he tries to do the right thing? truly awe inspiring.

i just. I'm right there with you. I love him so damn much. and that's why I spend most of my time writing fic where he gets at least some of that happiness he deserves :'D i need him taken care of, damnit, and if canon doesn't give him good things then i damn sure will.

#whenever you want to talk about him anon #i'm right here for you :D #i love him so much #so muchhhh #anonymous #ask and i shall answer #re answers #leon s kennedy #long post

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beelshamburger · 3 years

Note

I have been waiting for the moment that you say matchups are welcome aaaa!!! *squeals*

sorry if it's a bit long. I get talkative when someone wants to talk to me lmao.

also, english isn't my first language, so sorry if it's hard to understand, my vocab isn't very wide.

I am a shy person! but sometimes, if it's necessary, I can be sociable, I think? I'm not an introvert, but I'm not an extrovert either, so- ambivert ig

I'm awkward around people, even my own family. I wish I had a cool friend squad, but alas, I do not :(

I am very affectionate! I just want everyone to feel appreciated, and loved, but I think sometimes I act too nice to someone, and end up being annoying. maybe that's why I don't have any close friends.

I like watching anime/movies. genre would be romance, or comedy, or maybe slice of life, with a hint of drama in it. I also like reading, with the same genre.

I'm an animal lover! Unfortunately, I don't have a dog or a cat, or any pet (I have a fish, but c'mon? I can't cuddle that). That sucks :(

I hate loud and rude people, they just get on my nerves. But then I find myself being loud and rude too, and- I don't know how to feel about that.

I hate thiller and horror movies/books/tv shows. They freak me out, and I won't be able to sleep unless I'm hugged by someone, which is rare, so I don't sleep at all after watching something with horror in it. I won't hide the fact that I'm scared though, please just hug me 🥺

I look for patience and support in a relationship. I am a very, very, VERY emotional person, and I cry A LOT. And you know when you cry, and someone gets angry and tells you to stop crying, but it only fuels the tears? yeah, that happens a LOT with me, so I need someone who won't do that.

A listener too! I have a lot to talk about, all the feelings and stuff, but I've never had anyone I can talk too; no close friends, no way I can talk to my sister, or my family, because I know that their response can hurt my soul.

Someone who can just love me for me, I guess. Oof, that sound so clichè.

My perfect date? Haven't really thought much about it. For starters, a library/cafe would be nice. No casinos, or bars, and that stuff, cause I don't drink. Or gamble. Also, with someone who doesn't make me feel uncomfortable or awkward.

Maybe an aquarium would be cool. Or an amusement park? But, heads up, I don't like chocolate. Crazy right? Yeah, I get a lot of wierd comments for it from my family, but I don't like chocolate. So- don't bring me chocolate. Best bet is to just bring some chips or something.

My giving + receiving love language is physical touch and quality time. I love spending time with people I care about, where we can talk for hours and hours about anything and everything. Or cuddling and occasional kisses while watching a movie, or reading a book. That would be nice.

I think I'm done? I hope you got enough info :3 thank you if you decide to do this, and I don't mind waiting for an answer! take your time, I'm sure I'll love it! bye <3

- 🥞✨ -

Aww omg nonny just know you are loved aight~

ALSO NO CHOCOLATE OMG HOW DO YOU DO THAT (I am sorry as a chocolate lover it's jusr- holy crap OML H O W I LITERALLY cannot live without chocolate i would DIE AJSJSHSH)

And this was perfect, this is what I need when I make matchups or else I won't really be able to know who to match you up with ahshd

The love language thing? YES! THAT IS PERFECT AND JUST WHAT I NEED, NONNY YOU ARE AN EXEMPLAR CITIZEN AND I LOVE YOU THANK YOU!!

I hope I did a good job ;;;;

Now for the matchup!

I match you up with....(drum roll please....)

LEVIATHAN!!!!

You two immediately became friends, anime always brings people together ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

He fell for you pretty quickly, since you would always assure him he was doing great and you were just SO N I C E HOW WERE YOU SO PERFECT AND WHY WERE YOU NICE TO HIM? HE DIDN'T DESERVE IT (omg no honey yes you do holy shit T^T)

Now, you both took a while to get together since the two go you were just so ✨ akward ✨ with each other. Even if you sometimes took the lead, you'd end up blushing and making an excuse to go away after accidentally flirting or something like that. You only got together after Asmodeus threatened to ask you out and Levi got jealous, grabbing your hand and leading you to his room, telling his little brother that you were already busy since you had plans with him.

That evening you two sat on his couch, watching the new episode of an anime the two of you had started watching together. It was a bit awkward, since the two of you were blushing messes at the thought of "omg we're on a date."

That day, Leviathan couldn't help but look at you, instead of the anime. He had no idea what was going on, except that you looked stunningly beautiful.

For some reason, the anime began to take a thriller aspect, the two of you didn't really know it was HORROR! Still, Leviathan didn't want to say anything, and you were afraid to speak up in case he was really into the anime.

So now you two were scared shitless, watching something you didn't want to watch and in an awkward position.

At one point there was this jumpscare, and you let out a shriek, which scared Leviathan, which scared you and made you scream even more, which made you both fall off the couch in top of each other.

Leviathan couldn't help but blush as he looked at you in top of him. And before you could get off, he took a deep breath and mustered up all the courage he had and kissed you. You gasped against his lips but then kissed him back.

Afterwards you became a couple (finally!)

Your dates always consist of going to aquariums (the only place he can stand to go to) or watching your favorite anime movies in his room. Since you started dating, you began hugging, touching him more. And that? That made Leviathan absolutely crazy. Listen this boy is absolutely touch starved, so you know once he gets a bit of it, he's going to become as greedy as Mammon and ask for more.

He of course hugs you back too, at first it was hesitant and shy, but eventually he became more confident in touching you all the time. He will ask you for cuddles and kisses all the time!

Whenever you cry Levi will be there for you. The first few times he was a mess because he didn't know what to do, and he was afraid of messing up. He distanced himself, mostly because he thought it was his fault and that you were mad at him, and that made you feel even worse. When he found out he immediately came running to your room and for the first time ever, yelled "I LOVE YOU"

That night you spent it in each other's arms, cuddling. If you ever feel sad he will immediately stop what he's doing and listen to you, and after wards will spoil you so much (in a cute tsundere way hehe) if you need cuddles, he's there to give you cuddles. If you want kisses, he'll give you kisses. You want to watch your favorite movie for the 17th time in a row? He's got the popcorn ready.

He will listen to you and tell you that no matter what, he'll always be there for you, and then he'll tell you how much he loves you.

Sometimes while you're doing your anime dates he will suddenly grab you and kiss you, a flushed look on his face afterwards.

Honeslty, this man is just crazy for you, and he would literally do anything you ask him to! Your relationship is always filled with encouraging words, the two of you always cheering for each other!

His brothers are honeslty a bit jealous of your relationship (lmao poor boys) since they always see you two being so cute and adorable, cheering each other up!

#obey me #obey me leviathan #obey me matchup #obey me matchups #leviathan obey me

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soft-sunflower · 4 years

Text

Flower of Evil Thoughts- Episode 13

I think for Episode 13's post, I'm not going recap the whole thing. I'm just going to talk about some keypoints throughout the episode that really stuck with me as these posts are taking up too much time to write and gather caps for. I hope you understand.

Alright, so... we are starting off Episode 13 showing us a bit of Heeseong's past. And it would seem that from the time he was a kid, he was a pretty mentally screwed up individual. Such as throwing bricks off the roof and killing a dog. And I don't buy for one moment, one MOMENT that he "can't remember" and that he's stressed over school and depressed. That's just an excuse. Like I said. He walks out of the counselor's room, smirks and brushes off his fake crocodile tears. He uses that to get people to feel pity for him.

And would you look at that. There's Hyunsoo and his creepy dad sitting there at the psychiatric center. Do Minseok calls Heeseong out there asking if he knows why he did that. "Yes. It was because of teenage depression caused by academic stress." LOL No it wasn't. That sounds like such a fake, rehearsed line to get people to feel sorry for you. Anybody who pays close enough attention to you, or is just like you *cough*DoMinseok*cough*

"You've never met someone like you. You don't know how to play. You must've been lonely while doing it."

Oh my GOD you creeptastic man! We don't mold and groom people to turn into serial killers and be buddied up while doing it, regardless of how *like you* this kid might be. Well, at least now we know how Heeseong became Do Minseok's accomplice and prodigy. Ughhh ewww... that whole scene actually gave me chills.

Okay, so back to where we left off last episode. You know, just Heeseong and his father casually dumping Soon Young's body into the trunk of their car and finding out Hyunsoo and is wife are there at the house. Hyunsoo and Jiwon have arrived at the place they weren't planning to arrive, surprise! Or is it... trash mom looks a little nervewracked over the fact that they're just randomly showing up there. She keeps peeking and checking corners to make sure Heeseong isn't within eyeshot. It's not like a murder was just committed in the middle of the hallway of her house after all. She tries to pull the "I'm feeling tired. I'd like for you to come back tomorrow."

Jiwon interrupts with "I know everything." Uh oh...

So they're in, they're sitting down. Trash mom is all agitated again.

"What do you know and how much do you know?" her fidgety ass gets on my nerves.

Without missing a beat, Jiwon looks her dead in the eye.

"What are you hiding and how much are you hiding?" Girl YASSSSS.

And then they start pulling the whole "you know who your husband really is, and so you'll just accept that?"

"First of all, I want you to know, that I'm on his side no matter what happens."

Damn right she is. That's her man. Whether his name is Do Hyunsoo or Baek Heeseong, that her is MAN and she's got his back. She loves him and she will support him, regardless of what happens because that's what a strong wife does.

So trash dad says there are many things the 4 of them could talk about it.

"There's not only four of us. There's one more person this house, right? Where is he?" LOL GIRRRRRRRLLLLL. I REALLY love her. My badass female lead. She's not wasting ANY time. And they sure did not waste any time in showing Heeseong hooked up and supposedly in that coma. Claiming he could die at any moment. Oh, please. You can't keep this a secret forever.

"We revealed all the secrets we have." LMAO NO YOU HAVE NOT. LYING SACKS A SHIT.

The way Jiwon and Hyunsoo are looking at each other, they BOTH know something is up and that something is not right.

Ohhh, Hyunsoo, you're brave but playing a VERY dangerous game here. I had a feeling that SOMEHOW this trap he set to catch Yeom Sangchul was going to backfire. But Hyunsoo is right. The person who made a deal with Yeom Sangchul to kill him, the person who offered double the amount of money, the ONLY person who knew he'd struck a deal with Yeom Sangchul that night, who knew the exact amount of money he paid Yeom Sangchul was trash dad, Baek Manwoo. He also wanted him to kill Park Kyung Choon and was going to pay him to leave quietly. All signs point to there's some seriously shady business going on with Baek Manwoo, and I think Jiwon knows this, no matter how much he and his wife try and play up the innocent act.

"I believe I underestimated you." Well, they definitely handled that well.

"Hyunsoo, it's not me." Thing is, trash dad isn't lying. He's not the accomplice for the murders, but he knows who is and him trying to fake both Hyunsoo and Jiwon out is very obvious. If only they knew that Heeseong is not in a coma.

Oh look, the lights just conveniently go out... and here's how we find out that Yeom Sangchul did not go to the summer house. Because Heeseong tells him not to. This guy is really really smart. He's so smart, he's cunning and having that kind of person for a serial killer is rather terrifying if you ask me.

"Something is off. Something doesn't feel right, but I can't figure out what that is."

Jiwon, you're so close... You KNOW something isn't right and I think Hyunsoo can feel it too.

Also, HYUNSOO DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING IN THAT BASKET. DAMMIT. This is going to be how they frame him for the housemaid's murder. I just know it. He's literally handling everything in that basket and getting his fingerprints all over it. They plotted the whole thing with the lights going out, the candles, the mother dropping the basket of items with a tape roll in it.

They had to figure out how they were going to frame Hyunsoo, and this was too perfect. They are so ahead of the game that it's terrifying, and Heeseong is loving it because it really IS all just a game to him. He's a really scary and creepy character. His calculations are spot on with everything. I'm curious how this is going to turn out when Hyunsoo and Jiwon find out Heeseong is alive and out of his coma and he's the one doing this. I really can't get a read on Gong Mija... is she doing this because she fears for her life hence her almost seemingly reluctance? Or is she doing this because Heeseong's her son? I mean she tried to kill him twice now, so...

"Hyunsoo, I've always thought of you as family. That much I was sincere about."

Is she being serious right now? I mean here she is helping frame him for a murder he didn't commit, but is she also cooperating with Heeseong because she doesn't want her son to kill her on one of his crazy rampages? I think she's afraid of her son and fears for her life, but that she actually does care for Hyunsoo because she knows Hyunsoo is not a monster of a man that everyone has spent years making him out to be? I don't know. It's so strange... she's hard to get a read on.

"No matter what you thought of me, I have never wondered what you sincerely felt, not even once."

What does he mean by saying this? That he doesn't really care what she felt? That maybe he actually knows she's always cared for him? Or that maybe she's never given him a reason to wonder about what she sincerely felt in regards to him? The way she's watching him though as he places everything back into the basket she dropped, particularly when he grabs the roll of tape, is unsettling... I really don't get her. Why would she say that? Is she on his side and is just being used by her son and husband? Or is she on her family's side and enjoying plotting against Hyunsoo, tricking him and then framing him for murder? I can't figure her out yet... she's too back and forth and very inconsistent.

Wow... they're very thorough with framing Hyunsoo for this murder. To the point he's pulling hairs out and putting them in their car. More evidence for the police to find that Hyunsoo is the murderer. Heeseong is one formidable foe. He looks far too amused while sprinkling her hair everywhere. As they say in kdrama, AISH!!!

Alright, who's smoking cigarettes and watching Haesoo...? Is there someone else we don't know about?? Does she have a target on her back too? Can we think at all of who smokes in this drama? Has there been anything suggesting a character like that? Also, the person's handprint is on the window. I would think Haesoo would want to tell the cops this...?

You know, I'm with Jiwon on this. I really wish Hyunsoo would stop getting himself involved, but it's almost like he can't help himself. I mean I can't really blame him. Being pushed into almost committing murder (Park Kyung Choon), being told to leave quietly, having a hit put on his life, his wife finding out who he really is, almost having to leave his entire life and family behind and spending the rest of his life on the run? That's a lot for one man to deal with, but if he'd stop getting himself involved, maybe things wouldn't go so far south. Oh who am I kidding. This is kdrama.

And god love him, he's scared to the core for the safety of his family. The very idea that someone like that could exist in his life makes him sick, and the fact that they could reach Jiwon and Eunha terrifies him. This is definitely one of the WORST times he could've picked to discover he has emotions. I feel so sorry for him right now, because he's doing what every loving father and husband would around the world. He's wanting to protect his family. And I love how Jiwon tells him that they're stronger than that serial killer. I love how they smile at each other, that seems to give him confidence. that she covers his trembling hand with hers to comfort him. Jiwon is so amazingly strong. I just love her. I can't stop loving this incredible character. I may even love her as equally as I love Hyunsoo.

JEONG MISOOK IS ALIVE AND I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. I CALLED IT!!! I called it from the VERY START of them saying they never found her body and that she is still missing. Kdrama rules. If the body is missing, it likely means that person is alive somewhere. But still I KNEW she wasn't dead. It was a feeling I had since before Park Kyung Choon tried to kill Hyunsoo. It would seem she has no memory of anything. She didn't even know her own name, so it makes me wonder just what happened to this woman?? Hmmm... and how is Sangchul going to use her for insurance? Insurance of what? Is he going to go up against Heeseong now and use Jeong Misook being alive to his advantage? This is definitely interesting.

It's 2:31am and Hyunsoo is getting a call that's waking him. I think that's me every time someone wakes me up haha. That's a pretty late time in the night to be calling anyone though. Annnnd it's Heeseong. That much is obvious. He starts mentioning Jiwon and Eunha claiming he's a fan, but it's more than obvious by the total creep factor of his voice that he indirectly threatening Hyunsoo's family. And Hyunsoo knows this. He can feel it. And the anxiety and fear in him is high now. His family has a target on their backs.

What does he do? Search up the location of the phone number and leaves... oh NO. DO NOT leave the house!!! This is the perfect opportunity they have to continue to frame you for murder. They will use the "You left the house for awhile last night, so where were you?" Hyunsoo, I admire your fierce determination to protect your family and to continue to put together pieces of the puzzle, but this is REALLY REALLY bad... and OOHHHH there's a dash cam on someone's car!!! I mean I get that they're on vacation, but please tell me that dash cam might come into play??

Inside the payphone box written on the wall is

"Hide and seek. I can see you, but you cannot see me." And we know Heeseong wrote that specifically for Hyunsoo. He knew that Hyunsoo would come to that pay phone trying to find him. He's having far too much fun with this. It's nervewracking how calculating he is.

And naturally, people cleaning up the woods would find the body. Of course. Hyunsoo left the house, went to the pay phone and that body is likely buried very close to where he was at. And poor Hyunsoo. He's so stressed out and nervous about the indrectly threatening phone call he received, that while he's pouring breakfast smoothies he made for his family, he doesn't realize he's spilling it out all over the table. Instead, he keeps repeating the sound of the voice from last night's call and comparing it to the accomplice's voice in the threatening message he sent years ago. He knows they're the same.

Jiwon asks if her hubby is okay because he's thinking so hard about something he's spilling smoothie everywhere. Then sweet little Eunha comes running with a hairclip for her daddy to put in her hair for her. Makes me wonder how often he's went shopping with Eunha, picked out little hair clips and things for her as well as do her hair for her in the mornings before school? It's such a sweet thing between father and daughter. But ohhhh, Eunha. Why do kids have such big mouths? Lol He left early this morning and she saw? Ohhhh noooo... Busted. Jiwon knows you left. And saved by the bell. Or rather, the phone ringing. It's not like he can just start telling his family right there in front of the both of them that he received a passive aggressive call last night indirectly threatening their lives.

Eunha's little "Fighting, mom!" Was soooo cute as Jiwon rushes off to work.

I love how protective Hyunsoo is over his precious little girl.

"Eunha, look at daddy. Did you talk to a stranger recently?" "No." "You didn't think first." "Hmmm? No." "Never go anywhere with a stranger. What are the rules?" "I will not go anywhere with a stranger. An adult doesn't ask a kid for help. Mom, Dad or Grandma would never ask someone else to come pick up Eunha."

Look at their big smiles. I love how holds her face in his hands and tells her she did well.

Awww baby girl is hungry! How is she SO CUTE!?

"Dad! My stomach gurgled! Did you hear that?" And when he puts his ear up against Eunha's belly. Goodness my heart melted but then cracked at the same time. I'm so scared for this little family. I'm scared to death for Eunha... she's so precious and innocent. Heeseong worked for human traffickers that also kidnapped and sold off children. I'm so afraid for her. I'm so scared something is going to happen to her.

Alright, so the thumbnail is missing on Soon Young's body again. What is it about Heeseong's obsession with fingernails?? He collects the ones on the left hand from his victims while also biting off his own on his left hand. Is this just how he commemorates the killings of his victims? By collecting their nails? Ughhh GOD he is just so GROSS.

Noona is back at Hyunsoo's shop and confirms to Hyunsoo that the accomplice can't be Baek Manwoo because during the time that he was meeting up with them, someone was watching her. Hyunsoo tells Haesoo about the strange call he received in the middle of the night. Thank GOD she knows this!! This is actually really important, I feel. I'm almost hoping that Haesoo contacts Jiwon to tell her about this after everything goes down. I don't like that Hyunsoo is keeping this a secret from Jiwon. I get why, but I wish he'd tell her. I feel like this is really important. And now Moojin is telling them about the body being found and that it was missing a thumbnail, because neither had any clue about anyone being murdered.

The fact that they found her notebook and her notes inside shows the direct connection she had with the murderer. Jiwon looks unsettled as she's reading the notes and wondering who she'd be referring to when she says "If you do this again, I'll tell madam and Director Baek." And of COURSE the body would be found in Makmun-dong... the same location Hyunsoo was at last night when he was checking where the phone call he received had come from. UGH! The Baeks had this too well planned. How frustrating...

And now that they have identified the body, Sunbae is informing Jiwon that it's her in-law's housemaid. Jiwon thinks back to last night on their drive home when Hyunsoo states he needs to meet with the housemaid. She knows something isn't right and rushes out stating she has something to confirm urgently.

I'm really trying to understand Heeseong's obsession with Hyunsoo. Why is he so obsessed with him? Does it have to do with the fact he's Do Minseok's son? Is there something he has planned in regards to him?

Moojin says something here that I feel is really important.

"Serial killers can't contain their urge to kill. Perhaps it was because they were in a situation where they couldn't do anything for the last 18 years."

He's right. Heeseong was in a coma. That's why he couldn't do anything. That's why the serial killings stopped. I'm sure he worked behind the scenes for awhile with the human trafficking ring, but the night he hit Hyunsoo with the car and tried to bury him alive? That's when everything stopped. His family even went to so far as to lie and state he left the country and was studying abroad. I mean really now.

Awww, Hyunsoo doesn't want his sister being alone and very unsafe and exposed, so he tells her that she needs to stay with Moojin. I'm not really a fan of their pairing, but I do love the fact that Hyunsoo is entrusting her safety to someone. Honestly, I'd rather it be Moojin because there's nobody else out there he can ask or trust to care for her and keep her safe. He makes Moojin promise him that he won't leave Noona alone and that he'll keep her safe.

Hyunsoo, Yeom Sangchul is not someone you can use so easily to get close to the accomplice, especially now that Sangchul has his own ideas and isn't so willing to cooperate with Heeseong now.

I'm really wondering what plans Sangchul has for Jeong Misook. He's not sympathetic over her having it rough. He's gonna get paid? How? Obviously he knows that Baek Heeseong is the accomplice and a serial killer, but since he failed to kill Misook, what are his plans to use this to his advantage? I have to do more thinking on this. If you guys have any ideas of what you think he's going to do, please tell me so we can plot and speculate.

Okay, so Jiwon is fingerprinting her husband and comparing the fingerprints. I'm not so sure she willingly believes that her husband went out in the middle of the night and committed a murder on Soon Young. I think Jiwon knows something is definitely up, because she knows Hyunsoo wouldn't just suddenly at the drop of a hat decide to randomly commit a murder after everything they've been through and after revealing his whole life to her. He had plenty of opportunities where he could have committed murder, but the very idea of it sickens him. He expressed that much on their drive home from the Baek's.

Heeseong continues to disturb the hell out of me more and more. He might love and worship his mother, but I get the feeling that if she made one wrong move, he wouldn't hesitate to murder her ass too. And I think the mother is terrified of her son so she's trying to be careful not to make the wrong move. She doesn't want to set off her serial killer son after all. And just like I said, I KNEW they were going to use Hyunsoo picking up all those items, especially the roll of tape, to their advantage. I knew she was in on setting this trap for him. And she seems almost guilty that she did that, after remembering Hyunsoo gently pulling a string of fuzz out of her hair.

Hyunsoo is calling Yeom Sangchul from the burner phone... And who answers? Well SHIT now. Hyunsoo knows that Jeong Mi Sook is alive!!! And I also feel like this is VERY important and needs to be paid close attention to.

Jiwon enters the shop and starts questioning where Hyunsoo was at. Was it Makmun-dong? So Jiwon tells him who's body they found, and that she was in charge of taking care of a person who's in a coma and that she was the Baek's housemaid? She tells him the fingerprints on the tape turned out to be his, all the while shedding tears.

At first I thought, Jiwon are you kidding me? You're a DETECTIVE. You KNOW where the two of you were last night. You KNOW that your husband disappeared from your side very briefly to help "mother" gather up items she dropped everywhere. You KNOW what kind of man your husband is so WHY are you suspecting him of murder now!? This is NOT your style, this is VERY inconsistent of your character, as well as your claim of "no matter what happens, I'll stand beside him." Those were my first thoughts upon all of this when she tells him he's a murder suspect and she's arresting him without a warrant.

Also, I knew the mother would tell the police that she suspects Do Hyunsoo murdered the housemaid. This whole entire thing orchestrated between the 3 Baeks was too well thought out and too well done. Now the entire police force believes him to be a true murderer and that he's guilty. My stomach just twisted. Sunbae just told all of them that Hyunsoo is Jiwon's husband... oh god...

CAN PEOPLE FOR REAL STOP FRAMING HYUNSOO FOR LIKE FIVE FUCKING MINUTES!? OMG!!! It's unbelievingly frustrating!!!!

Anyway, I don't think Jiwon is suspecting her husband of murder. I think she starts to cry because she knows that he's being framed. She also knows that police are going to find out and will be showing up to arrest him as a murder suspect, so she wants to arrest him first. She even tells him that they will make sure he does not get punished for what he didn't do. Jiwon knows that her husband did not murder that woman and that he's been framed. Jiwon is doing this protect him. She's wanting to take him to the police station because honestly he would be safest there while giving his statement as well, but she is not telling her husband this, because she herself wants to get to the bottom of who's framing him once again. That's what I truly believe. Jiwon has her own agenda, and it makes it hard because she and Hyunsoo are not on the same page.

Hyunsoo seems legit heartbroken that his wife believes him to be a murder suspect. So much to the point that he sees the image of his father, has a flashback to his father telling him this.

"Love can be very cunning. It is very sly. It makes you think you can solve everything, but in the end, it betrays you. Hyunsoo, listen to me carefully. When you feel the urge to trust somebody one day, it means you're becoming weak."

Okay, yes, he is distraught by this. He's genuinely hurt because he thinks Jiwon doesn't believe him. That Jiwon doesn't trust him anymore, so much so that it crushes him and makes him see his father once more telling him this. Jiwon gives him that look because she remembers him "seeing" things before that wasn't there. The fact that his wife would believe for even a moment that he could be capable of killing anyone has sent Hyunsoo's mental health on a bad decline once again, and I am so worried for him...

"Tell me something. Do you believe me?"

Jiwon can only say "What?" Because I don't think she realizes what's happening to her husband's mental stability right now thanks to her.

"Or deep down inside, do you believe that I really could have killed her?" He tearfully tells her "If you don't even believe me, then who else in the world would believe me?"

And now, here's where I believe Hyunsoo shuts of those emotions long enough to put his own agenda into play. He's not going to trust anyone anymore, because all it's been doing is getting him hurt, getting people out wanting to kill him, putting his family's lives in danger, and even making his wife not believe in him. Like hell he's going to that police station when the lives of his family are in danger and he knows it. I'm pretty sure I know what Hyunsoo is doing. For this moment, he's throwing away love.

It suggests as much from the preview for Ep 14, but it appears to me that he's setting his own trap.

For one, I will say, he's definitely heartbroken over the fact (at least through Hyunsoo's eyes) that his own wife seemingly does not believe nor trust that he did not kill Park Soon Young, so I can understand his hurt here. I think my heart ached for him too. However, I fully believe that the CCTV was a set up, as well as him "attacking" his wife and holding a blade to her throat. That was a set up too.I believe he was trying to show hostility toward his wife to better her chances and give the accomplice less of a reason to want to go after her. Also, back when he attacked Moojin, he had no CCTV set up in his shop at that point in time, because why would he? It's his OWN shop. There's literally zero reason to have a CCTV in there, especially when he never did before. His shop is right below his house. At least I don’t recall ever seeing one in there til this episode. All he did was lock the doors and close the blinds. There was no unplugging cameras at all.

He points Jiwon toward the monitor and he's turning this into a "hostage" situation because now he's been framed, yet again, for ANOTHER murder he didn't commit, and he knows that that accomplice knows about his family. He knows that the strange call he received at 2:31am was from the accomplice and that his family is ultimately in danger and being targeted. He's creating a hostage situation and is going to do his best to get Jiwon and Eunha somewhere safe. I fully and 100% believe this, because that's Hyunsoo's style and because of the preview for the episode. Like him telling his wife in a very gentle voice "We'll see each other again. Don't look at me like I'm going off to die. Wish me luck instead." Also, they're running off together hand in hand. Jiwon doesn't look like she fears for her life.

It would seem like cheap writing for her to just suddenly start randomly suspecting her husband of murder. It's not Jiwon't style and it's horribly inconsistent to her character up til now. I think both Hyunsoo and Jiwon have their own agendas because Hyunsoo kept the secret of the phone call from Jiwon, and Jiwon knows that someone is trying to have him killed, namely the Baeks. Hyunsoo is using the logical side of himself rather than reacting through the emotional side, because emotions CAN make you weak and now he needs to be as calculating in this game as Heeseong does. Now it's his turn to play Hide and Seek while finding out that Heeseong is the accomplice.

My heart is pumping now and I cannot WAIT til next week!!! It's going to be a very long, agonizing wait, these next 5 days.

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constellationclarke · 4 years

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Ok right I just gotta dump my thoughts out here - so the gang is back on earth. Which I get. I totally saw it coming and also always thought they would in some way or other make it back to earth for the ending of the show (even pre-s7) because it just made sense, it has significance. But lets recap. At the end of s5 they all thought that after McCreary nuked everything, earth would be survivable after 10 years so they could just have a quick nap and then go back down but instead Harper n Monty stayed awake, realised earth would never become survivable again (apparently) and then found how to get to Sanctum. So 100+ years went by and now with all the anomaly hopping they get back to earth which is now survivable again? I mean I haven't watched the latest episodes but there's trees and water (right? I think I saw a clip of one of the eps mention water) and nobody is choking on air and dying of radiation therefore it's survivable. So it just makes me a bit annoyed, like this is some sort of plot hole like you're telling me Harper and Monty managed to hack into some hard-to-get-to files about where the Eligius people went to and got the ship to fly there long after their death but they couldn't figure out that earth just needed a bit longer to heal? Like "hey the earth might not be survivable after 10 years but maybe in 200 years or so it will be so why don't we just take a longer nap than expected and then wake back up and check things out and if it's not good then we can go to plan B of figuring out what the Eligius people did". Like idk I get that they wanted to write the show to go in the direction of the gang going to a new planet (and let's be real I mean it's not like they would have been able to create a new original plotline if they remained on earth lmao) but it just pisses me off bc it feels illogical. Like Harper and Monty might have been able to discover where the Eligius crew went to but they had no guarantee it worked or even that the planet would be survibable but they risked programming the ship to go there anyway instead of considering that maybe Earth just needed a bit more time. It means Haper and Monty didn't really have to die!!!!! It took them so long to crack the Eligius files that Harper died and Monty preferred to die too even tho he eventually cracked the files and could have gone into cryo to get a chance to see the new planet. They could have still spent 10 years on the ship and had Jordan and everything and then after those 10 years - or even 20 just so they could raise Jordan until he's at least a semi-formed adult - been like "okay this isn't working but before we commit to spending literally the rest of our lives alone on this ship on the off chance we could hack some files, let's take a really long nap in cryo and wake up in a couple centuries to see if there's been a development and if not, then we can live out our days here finding an alternative." Maybe this is such a minor issue but it's something that's been bugging me in the back of my mind ever since it was confirmed the gang would be going back to earth and if I've basically repeated the same point repeatedly in this it's bc I'm really that annoyed by it which isn't being helped by the goddamn mess this season has been and how so many characters are being done a disservice.

#the 100 #monty green #harper mcintyre #jasper jordan #clarke griffin #yes it's 5.25 in the morning no i haven't slept

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sneezingpotatoes · 3 years

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Hi! I just wanted to say that I've been stalking your blog for a while now... Hopefully you don't take that the wrong way lol 😅 But I love your writing style and I love your Draco and Reuben fics!

I had a question about Draco and his past. Like in your Christmas fic, Draco said "Don't you ever mention my mother again, you got that?" And I was just so curious and wanted to know like the backstory on Draco and his family if you don't mind sharing! 😅 Again, love your writing and your OC's!

Well hello there! XD Omg my first ask?! Thanksss omg xD I totally don't mind if you stalk my profile LOL XDD I literally do the same thing hahaha thats literally all I do on tumblr 😅 Thanks so much! Even though I don't post that often, I'm glad you're still able to read them and enjoy them!! And wowowowww yeah Draco... He's a whole story on his own LMAO XD Draco, Draco, Draco... My poor sweet child xD You wanna know the story behind Draco, ey? Well be warned. XD Here ya go!

I guess you could say Draco wasn't always an alcoholic douche bag. Well... he was always a douche, but... a happier douche lol. His dad is an alcoholic. He used to always come home drunk, and was always the angry and aggressive type. When he came home, he always was intoxicated and always had to find SOMETHING to be angry about so he could take it out on them :/ His mom on the other hand was like his saving grace. They were really close. She worked 3 jobs and she was always tired but, she wanted Draco to live a good and happy life. A happier life than she had. She wanted to provide for Draco despite their living situation. Yes, his dad had a job but he would always blow his money on booze and smokes and didn't care about their family really. His mom knew that she wasn't in a healthy relationship, with having her husband always coming home angry and yelling, throwing plates and glasses everywhere whenever they argued, but she was used to that. Her parents were in that same relationship, so that's all she knew and was used to. Draco was there, and tried to do the best for his mom. He always stood up for her, only for her to tell Draco that it was okay and that he didn't need to protect her. But then that day came... That traumatizing day that Draco will NEVER forget in his life...

The death of his mother...

It was a Tuesday night. Around 8pm. Tuesday night was known as T-bone steak night, a rule set by his father of course. Every Tuesday his dad wanted to come home to a cooked T-bone steak, mashed potatoes and corn on the cob for dinner. On this night, his mother was just so tired from working and stress that she forgot it was Tuesday and made a different meal for dinner that wasn't the T-bone steak. Of course his dad comes home drunk and angry, screaming and yelling, throwing all of the dinner plates off of the table, just making a mess all over the dining room. At this point, Draco tells his dad that he's had enough and tells him to leave. The mother doesn't say anything. The dad tries to slap the mother but Draco catches his hand and shoves him out of the house and locks him out.

Of course, the dad is pissed and drunk so he feels like he has to do something to punish them. So he breaks in through the living room window while everyone is sleeping and turns on all the burners on high and lights a match in the trash can and kicks it over before he leaves. Draco smells the smoke from the fire nearly 15 minutes later and searches for his mom, but at this point, nearly everything is in flames around him and he's afraid the roof is going to collapse. He finally finds his mother slowly getting out of bed and he yells at her to get out of the house and that the whole building is going to collapse soon. She says okay and that she's coming. Meanwhile, he rushes out of the house thinking that shes right behind him, only to see that she was still slowly walking out of the kitchen. He can see pieces of flaming wood falling from the ceiling as he debates whether or not to go back in and scoop her up out of there. They both gasp as she sinks into the floor from the floor boards giving out from beneath her. She was stuck, having her right leg so far into the floor that she was nearly sinking. At the last second he decides to go back into the burning building, but before he can get to her, a heavy piece of flaming wood falls onto her from the ceiling and it crushes her lower half and other leg. He can hear her let out a loud scream as he still rushes over to help her. At this point the adrenaline is pumping the fastest it ever has and he makes the executive decision to use his bare hands to lift the hot piece of wood off of her body. He wanted to get her out if it was the last thing he did. No matter how many planks fell around them, he was ready to die with her until she said...

"Draco... Honey, its okay... Momma loves you so much... Leave me here. You've helped me more than you know. Get out of here!" Her voice was strained with pain but she still managed to have a smile on her face as she said those words looking at Draco. It was hard, but he listen to her and left the building before it completely collapsed into a large campfire.

So, Draco turned to booze to cope. It made him feel warm, it helps him sleep at night. Its basically like a teddy bear to a child. He hates his dads guts, and whenever he sees him again, he wants to kill him. Like actually kill him. He'll go to jail, he doesn't care. He didn't have a house after their house burned down. He lived in his car until he lost his job and couldn't keep a steady job to support himself. He was mentally unstable from the event. His mom was his only family, and for her to practically die in his arms? He felt useless. She was right there and he couldnt do anything to save her... Eventually his sold his car and spent that money on booze too. The pavement by the bar was his new home. He was prepared to drown in booze until Part One of A Helping Hand xD

Thanks so much for the ask! XD There's a little lore from Dracos side! Hope you liked it :)

#ask #answered!#My OC #Draco #not snz #info #lore #backstory #my first ask

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white-chalk-sapphomet · 5 years

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Ask game thing

Tagged by @honeytapes , ty!!

1. Height: 5′9″

2. last thing I googled: 'Bart Simpson Pan' and before that 'crepe batter recipe'

3. Favorite Musicians: the Mountain Goats, Unknown Mortal Orchestra, Tears for Fears, Queen, Bikini Kill, Turnstile, Depeche Mode, MGMT, Hop Along

4. Song stuck in my head: I Wanna Be Adored by The Stone Roses

5. Followers: 392!

6. Following: 1,002 :^)

7. Do you get asks: kind of? Not like consistently, but I've been getting more lately every now and again, I'm into it! Love my mutual friends..

8. Amount of sleep: I've had a recent record of going to bed around 7AM and waking up at 3PM to drive to work......... so like roughly 8 if I'm lucky, which I'm usually not lmao,, I need to fix my schedule, but I close every night at work lmao

9. Lucky number: 13 maybe, bc it's the spooky number. 3s and 6s are nice too. Maybe a 5 is good too.

10. What are you wearing: my partner's Halloween 4 shirt we got from Halloween horror nights last year

11. Dream Job: hhhh god idk yet, or I might've tried to get into college :( I've been thinking sculpting could be nice, possibly doing statues and stone work for cemeteries could be a really cool job, and my work would survive for a very very long time. But also working at a national park could be cool?.. or being the leader of a vigilante girl gang to keep landlords in check would be pretty good. Whatever I do, I need to live forever, or at least have the impact to do so. If I ever die, I need to live a life that would make people perform like a seance or something.

12. Instrument: I took keyboard lessons when I was like..... 9...... I wanna learn how to play bass someday though

13. Languages: English, and extra entry level understanding of French, ASL, Japanese, and Hebrew. I have to finger spell most things..

14. Favorite songs: man that's hard.... Dinu Lupatti's Bones, maybe Home Again Garden Grove by the mountain goats are both good, my url is based on Cry For Judas, and also Spent Gladiator is an important survival song for me. All that also by tmg..

For non tmg stuff, uhh So Good At Being in Trouble by Unknown Mortal Orchestra, Rebel Girl by Bikini Kill, Human After All by Daft Punk, Head over Heels by Tears for Fears, NFWMB Hozier, Bleeding in the Blur Code Orange, probably a bunch of other shit idk!

15. Random fact: I got my first degree in jkd mma when I was like 13, I lived in Rio de jenairo when I was 9, and I swam with a water moccasin in my neighbor's pool by accident, and then i picked it up by the tail bc I thought it was like a dead plant thing floating in the water. And then I felt it move and realized it was a snake and slung it around my head n threw it. It might've hit my neighbor. Also I have double jointed thumbs and my middle finger on my right hand is fused together at the middle bc I grabbed a burning lightbulb when I was a toddler.

16. People I want to know better: @oshaathot @megatoppheonix @babiephace @lycanthropelesbian @lymphnodehaver @poinae @worm-tv and anybody else that likes to do this kind of stuff. Talk about yourself, it's good for u probably

#ask game #man i just gabbed a fucking lot #oh well

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lunebinnie · 5 years

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(1/11)Oh my gosh yesss I'm glad that you like long messages too because I talk way too much 😂 (And yeah about my friend and just hanging out w/ her more that's exactly what I was thinking 😂) It's actually kind of funny bc just yesterday I was hanging out at her house and her younger brother needed to go to Walmart and I was like 'I've been meaning to go to Walmart, I'll take you' and ofc since I have a bluetooth radio adapter the whole drive I had my Spotify going with some quality k-bops, lol

2)And as we were driving I noticed him kind of jamming and I was like 'Oh my god Mickey do you actually like this???' And he was Like 'yeah, these are some good bops 👍' I was shooketh. I had to go home before I had the chance to show him any music videos but he says he's open to watching some with me next time I see him. One way or another I'm going to turn someone in my social circle into a kpop fan you mark my words ☝ and then maybe we can team up and try to work on his sister some more 😂

3)I only started first getting into kpop last June so I'm still very new, but it's definitely super frustrating how so many ppl act like it's an inherently bad or cringey genre of music just bc it's kpop! The stigma is ridiculous! I also started out with BTS (lol) and since they're pretty popular in the US at least I was able to be like 'See, this isn't just a niche thing, lots of people know abt and like this group' but of course my dad still says 'Just cause it's popular doesn't make it good'

4)And I'm like? You're a band teacher, you of all people should understand that music doesn't have to be in your native language (or even have lyrics) in order for you to enjoy it, but go off I guess... It's the same with one of my college friends. They make fun of me for liking kpop but this is coming from some who still treats March 22nd (the day My Chemical Romance broke up) as a day of mourning. Like, no tea no shade no pink lemonade, MCR was a good band nothing wrong with liking them.

5)But like if you're 22 and you still haven't grown out of your emo phase do you really have room to pick on other people for their music taste? 🤷 Anyway that's the person who follows my main that I didn't want to know I had a kpop sb. I think I made it around July. Tbh it was pretty dead for most of 2018. But like I said I've started using it way more since I recently revealed that it exists, lol. Especially since that good good Astro cb 👏💗😩 But honestly Astro is such a blessing

6)Idk how I lived so long w/o them. When I first got into kpop I was planning on just sticking to BTS since the reaction to me being into kpop was so volatile. I was like 'I'm only into one group, ppl already are negative about me liking kpop so I'm just gonna stick to this and not become a full on multifandom fan' and then in Nov I accidentally let myself fall in love with Monsta X and that plan was foiled. And realizing I wasn't gonna be able to stick to just one anymore opened the floodgates

7)And I was like okay in that case, let's just start getting into *all groups* Lol. My story of getting into Astro was actually bc of my best friend's roommate (can you tell I have like one friend and my whole social circle kinda revolves around her? Lol) so this roommate when she heard me being sad about having no kpop friends was like 'oh hey, I'm kinda into kpop' and it turns out she didn't like very many groups and was one of the ppl who blah blah BTS is overrated, which ya know isn't ideal8)But I was just really desperate to have someone to talk about kpop with. And Astro was her favorite so I was like, okay I'll get into them so that I have something to talk about with her! So I started watching some videos and I fell in love with them pretty much instantly! And I was real excited bc #1 now I can talk about kpop with someone! And #2 this group is actually amazing? Bonus! ... And then they got in a big fight about their living conditions and the roommate ended up moving out RIP

9)So that didn't work out, lol (Your story about finding them during that internship sounds amazing though! Haha) But yeah, so this is my first cb too! And although I love them w/ my whole heart and would have loved to have them in my life even sooner what an amazing cb to be your first! The concept was wonderful, the album was excellent, the visuals were to *die* for. They worked so hard and I'm so proud of them and I'm so happy we got to see their work come to fruition and get them a win 🤧🤧

10)The dance practices though? You're so right omg 💗 Me and my Rocky bias *fully* understand 😂 All of them are such good dancers?? I never fail to be impressed. Of course you know who I always end up watching tho 👀 lol (̶i̶f̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶h̶a̶l̶f̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶t̶t̶y̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶R̶o̶c̶k̶y̶'̶s̶ ̶f̶o̶o̶t̶w̶o̶r̶k̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶a̶l̶m̶o̶s̶t̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶t̶t̶y̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶e̶y̶e̶s̶.̶.̶.̶)̶ ̶ I also love how at the end they always pause all dramatic for a minute and then start screaming 😂

11)It's like? Amazing talent *and* dorky personalities? What more could you ask for? Lol. In regard to your last question though Unfortunately I also won't be able to see them 😔 I live in the smack middle of the US and since they're only going to coasts all of the venues are way too far away to get to. Esp since it's the school year and I can't skip class to drive cross country for a concert much as I'd like to (Holy lord I talked over twice as much?? Why am I like this?) Talk again soon! -ASA

Okay SO I’m very sorry I haven’t had the time to answer everything until now bc I’ve been busy studying for midterms and also I was a lil trashy today since my uni closed bc of freezing rain so I slept in but I’m glad that FINALLY everything got sent like damn tumblr you really don’t want us making friends huh.

Yessssss I love the feeling of seeing someone else also get into the same interests! I’ve been pretty lucky in the sense that I grew up around mostly other asian americans, so kpop was never something that was considered super “weird,” like some people were into it and some weren’t but even if you weren’t you still would’ve been familiar with the more popular groups from when you were younger. Even now, I have a bunch of friends also into kpop (one of them is even my roommate) so tbh I was definitely the one in my friend group late to the party aha. Even my university hosts kpop nights at our bar and I’m pretty sure we have a kpop dance team as well? So tbh if I met someone new there’s probably like a 50% chance they’re into kpop or at least listen casually.

Tbh I used to be a little bit judgy too but moreso because of the obscene amount of money I’ve seen some of my friends spend (no joke one of my friends has spent probably like $500+ on Loona stuff in the past month and a half and another friend bought like 5 copies of the same album for herself like damn idk how do you have that much money).

I also really don’t like it when people bash other people’s music tastes, since I feel like it’s something so personal? Idk but for a long time I used to be really self conscious about sharing my music with other people and even now I feel like that sometimes. For me after getting into BTS I kind of expected to get really into other groups since I was in Korea anyway and I was already listening to a lot of other artists casually. For me it started with NU’EST (fell for them immediately at the same concert that I saw Astro at) and then after was Astro, and then I just started slowly getting into other groups after that (even though I haven’t totally been able to get into Got7′s music they’re SO funny and I just kinda fell for their personalities you know).

I honestly think that they did such a wonderful job with this comeback too! I like seeing their concept evolve and mature but they’re not straying too far from their original cute concept so I feel like it’s a nice middle ground that’s very unique to them, you feel? Also I feel like the visuals especially and the execution of the whole plant concept was just done so well?? Even my friend who’s not in kpop was like “k idk who they are but that was the prettiest music video I’ve ever seen”. What are your favourite eras and songs? For me I’d have to say either the Spring Up or Baby era BUT right now my favourite song is probably Again/Should’ve Held On though tbh my mood and my tastes change like every few weeks loool.

I have no idea why I tend to be most attracted to the dances rather than vocals or rap (maybe has to do with the fact that it’s something I’ve always wished I could do but have always been bad at lmao). But Astro’s stood out to me for the exact same reason! I just thought it was so funny seeing them all break character at the end because you really get to see how hard their choreos are and you get a glimpse of their personalities like damn, how can you not stan these dummies?

That’s really unfortunate that you won’t get to see them either :/ They’re also coming to the closest city to me but it’s on a Tuesday, but I *hypothetically* looked up flight prices and tried to see if I could get away with just missing a day of classes if I flew back in the middle of the night since I have some friends who did the same thing and drove down to Buffalo but I seem to have underestimated the size of New York State LMAO. But apparently my university’s too far from the airport so it’s “not realistic” (and also I’m hella broke from travelling to Taiwan and Japan while I was in Korea but that’s a minor issue ig). I hope we do both get a chance to see them live though! Who knows, after the success of this comeback I’m expecting a lot more cbs and world tours out of them ;)

#asa #Anonymous

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itoshit · 3 years

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Time slowly went by, days turning to nights. And nights turning to days. That day, when I left Vee, I didn't think it would have been the last time I saw her. But she left. My men found her quickly of course, some even offered me to bring her back to me. But the whole point was to not be in contact anymore. I refused to see any picture of her, to see what she was up to. Ran's reports were enough for me. My heart was hurting me, especially when I learnt the existence of her friend, Darren. I was in the private room of one of our clubs, and Ran showed me a picture of them together. She seemed happy, healthy. And I was glad to be out of her life at that moment because honestly, I shattered everything and everyone that I touched.

It was not too long after I cut our strings. I remember that night vividly because that was my very first step to hell. Drinking to forget what I saw, I apparently passed out. Sanzu was the one bringing me back home. My place didn't look good anymore, but I didn't care. No one would stay here except me anyway. I wasn't even sleeping in my bed anymore, not that I was sleeping in the first place. But I couldn't do it. Too hard. Her scent lingered everywhere in my room, in her room. The small amount of sleep that I had was spent on my couch. Christmas went by too, and nothing happened. Her coat and the concert ticket were left untouched in my bedroom, in a random drawer. That evening, I stayed alone in my apartment, trying to imagine what it would have been with Vee around. We would have probably been drinking and laughing, making out on my couch. I'm sure she would have wanted me to buy a Christmas tree, and we would have decorated it together. And the night would have finished somewhere in my apartment, both naked and drowning in each other's touch.

Six months have passed. I tried so hard to forget her face with the many girls trying to get into my pants. I tried so, so hard. But I've never been able to touch someone else. Vee was like a drug, and I was experiencing it. But I was so content for her, she looked like she was finally balancing everything in her life, and she was probably grateful for that. She probably didn't want me back in her life, and I would never dare to enter hers anyway. She must felt relief after all that ended up.

I went back to the Mikey I was before meeting Vee, the cold; heartless man I used to be. My black hair was the only different thing from that past.

Every night I recalled our moment spent together, the only vestige of her was in mind.

Well, my vision seemed to be quite subjective and false, because on few occasions, the guys talked to me. Kakucho, Sanzu, Takeomi and Ran were the ones telling me how I changed, in a bad way. To them, I was more reckless. There were probably right, not that it mattered anyway.

Dante and La Cosa Nostra became close allies, the first trying his best to ease my heart. He presented me to his wife and children, and they were probably the ones who helped me getting through all that shit.

My life didn't make sense anymore. Without Vee by my side, I could finally say it, I was nothing. A dead man walking. While she looked so... full of life.

I saw Senju multiple times, and what I said to Vee was obviously completely false. I've never let myself be tempted with her flirt. The Yamaguchi-gumi stayed on the low for a while too, making their presence known from time to time.

They attacked one of our clubs once, and I almost died in the process. That's maybe what the guys reproached me when they said that I was reckless. Luckily though, Sanzu helped me. Got shot close to the heart, would have died if he didn't push me at the last minute.

The not so discreet scar that I had on my chest was a daily reminder that life was, even for me, something ephemeral.

Tonight was no different than the other nights. Would drown myself in work, files, alcohol and memories of Vee. That scared me because I was slowly starting to forget the sound of her voice.

Mikey.

Hm?

You can't keep doing that

Doing what?

You're not living, you're just... surviving. Amico mio, it's not good. Even Luka noticed your pain, shall I remind you he's only 8? You need to do something.

Look Dante, I appreciate your concern but I'm working right now. Did you call me to say something else?

Your girl has been-

She's not mine anymore. I lost her long ago.

... Venus is going outside tonight. Ran told me and as requested from you, my men keep an eye on her. She hasn't been outside since you stopped talking. You should come and-

Scoffing at him, I rolled my eyes, forehead pressed against my hand.

Dante, just... don't. She's clearly better off without me, and the Yamaguchi-gumi understood she wasn't someone who counted for -

But that was a lie! Manjiro. You could try again with her! We could finish them off, and you two could be happy together. It's just-

No we won't. They got the message when we blew their hideout up. No needs to start something big like this once again, especially when we all know the finality of it.

And what is if if you're so sure of yourself? You know what? I'm gonna bring her to you tonight. You're always staying at your office, expect her and I to be here.

... Venus doesn't need me. She realised she didn't miss me, and that I was only a cancer in her life. I need to go, don't call me again. Thank you for what you did back then.

Hanging up, I left my phone on my desk, leaving my office, but not before asking my executives to meet me in our meeting room.

What's up Mikey?

All sat around me, I looked at them first, before speaking.

Just, thanks for what you did for me.

Snorting, Sanzu stared at me, pupils dilated.

Why does it look like farewells though?

You can leave, you have your evening off. Find some pussy to fuck, get drunk, get high. Do what you want. I want you all to be here tomorrow before 8am.

Groaning, Sanzu stood up, and was the first to leave the room.

You okay?

Of course I am Ran.

Nodding, he patted my shoulder while Rindou simply smiled at me.

Koko had an eyebrow raised.

What's up with you Mikey?

Nothing. You can go Hajime.

Eh? First time you're saying my name. But alright, goodnight Mikey

Now alone with Mochizuku and Takeomi, I turned to them.

Guess I'll head to the strip club then.

Go ahead Kanji

Door closing, I felt Takeomi's eyes on me.

What?

What are you up to Mikey?

Nothing, just need a night away from work. Why aren't you leaving?

Raising his hands in defeat, Takeomi stood up, and as he was going to exit the meeting's room, he stilled.

Manjiro. Don't do anything stupid yeah?

No worries.

Eventually alone, I sat back on the chair, chin on my crossed hands. Would I regret what I was about to do? Probably not. Vee gave me hope, showing me some good time. But I wasn't destined to happiness. My place was in darkness, in hell.

An hour passed, and directing myself to my office, I checked the security cameras. It was 9pm, everyone left the building, as I requested beforehand.

Turning one last time to my office, I suddenly imagined Vee here, with me. Taking my gun off my hoster, I put it on my desk. Closing the door behind me, I went to the roof.

The last time that I've been here was when Sanzu surprised me, and when I said to him that if I happened to die, he would take the lead.

Guess nothing has changed since then.

Approaching my feet from the edge, I looked behind, a flash blinding me for a while. The good old days, when I was Toman's leader, Ken-chin by my side. Takemichi, Mitsuya, Chifuyu, the Kawata twins and the others were below, acclaiming me.

How were they doing now? Did they find happiness? I hope so. Vee crossed my mind too, leaving a warm feeling in my heart.

Throwing a glance at the concrete, I felt cold sweat on my forehead.

I'm sorry, Venus

-Mikey

TO EXPLAIN MYSELF - I wanted to keep the final scene from the manga, when Bonten Mikey is with Takemichi. It's not to destroy the good mood at all, but I do think Mikey is someone who's extremely tortured in his life (as everyone knows lmao) so in this case, where him and you were an item and he had strong feelings toward you, obviously it will destroy him more. Hopefully it's not a triggering subject for you, if it is, I'm sorry bby 😔

see now mod… *exhales*

Yeah, I don’t know about this, Dee.

We stood outside the bar, which from the outside, looked pack to capacity already. Apprehension consumed me. Darren noticed, taking my hand into his and squeezing it.

Do you wanna go home? he asked gently. We don’t have to go in if you don’t want to.

I shook my head. If I couldn’t do this, with my best friend no less, I probably wouldn’t be able to do any social event.

No, I’m fine. But we are leaving before 11.

He winked at me.

Fuck yeah we are.

We walked in together at that, arm in arm. Eyes flitted to us and then away when they realized we weren’t anybody of importance. A few lingered on me, recognizing me from the news maybe. I ignored them, allowing Darren to introduce me to his friends. He was right, they were nice. We shared a few drinks, me only having one beer to the others four. After Natalie, I just didn’t trust drinking anymore. Or people in general, always looking outside of people’s actions for their hidden motives.

We left at ten as promised. I shoved Darren and a couple of his friends into separate Ubers since they were way too drunk for me to even trust them driving. After I managed to get transportation for the final drunkard that I was with that night, I started walking toward my own car. But I noticed something. Somebody was following me. Clutching onto the pocketknife I started carrying ever since I got back home, I steeled myself with the thought of pulling it out and taking a life if needed be.

As the person neared, my grip on the hilt was knuckle-white and tight, with little to no chance of slipping off. When they touched me, I spun around fast, placing the knife right beneath their throat. I was smart enough to avoid streetlights.

Who the fuck are you? I snarled, pressing the knife closer with each word I spoke.

The man threw up his hands quickly, but made no move to disarm me. I’m with Dante of La Casa Nostra.

Who?

Me, somebody spoke from our left. I chanced a look and found a man sitting in the back of a heavily tinted jeep. My heart sunk. I learned a long time ago that tinted jeeps were the poster cars for criminal organization and gang leaders to move around in. My name is Dante, Venus, and I came to you requesting help.

Funny way of asking for it, I bit, throwing a look to the man who was following me. And besides, I don’t think I can help you.

It’s about Mikey.

I froze, unsure how to answer for a few seconds, then eventually came up with a, I don’t know a Mikey.

We were there with the Yamaguchis, Venus. La Casa Nostra was a big help in aiding Bonten in that victory. Our sniper was the one that saved your life. So technically, you owe me.

Could I even argue that? I had a feeling that even if I wanted to, there was only stalling I could do before he lost his patience and just forced me to do what he wanted. Powerful men weren’t used to being challenged, after all. Slowly, I placed my knife in my pocket, but always kept it ready to grab in case I had to run. I walked up to the Jeep and hopped in beside Dante, keeping my distance at the same time.

What do you want?

I wanted to get straight to the point, go home if possible.

It’s Mikey, he sighed, pinching his nose as if even the thought of the man pained him to talk about. He’s… not doing so well. Not sleeping, barely eating, wasting away.

Have you ever stopped to consider he was always like that?

It honestly sounded like he was behaving just as he was—

But that was before you met him, Venus.

I clenched my jaw, remembering how he had started eating and sleeping at my request, soon not even needing me to tell him to do either at all. A certain beach date flashed into my mind and I shook my head to rid myself of the memory. Dante observed my reaction, and I wanted to pinch myself for giving an observable one.

Either way, I’m worried, Venus. Mikey is a good guy, an extraordinary ally, but with the way things are looking…I don’t think he’s going to survive much longer to be any of both. Which is why I offered to take you to him as a last resort.

Without my consent?

With or without, he admitted with a laugh. I’m that desperate. He’s not well, Venus. Even my children are concerned.

I gnawed on my thumbnail.

Bringing me to him might not fix him. They might make things worse. For both of us, I wanted to say.

Or they might make them better, he argued.

You couldn’t possibly know that.

I’m willing to take that risk.

I couldn’t answer that. Few things could talk down a stubborn man. I wasn’t one of them.

You know, I really think you and Manjiro belong together. You’re both just too stubborn to see that.

I didn’t reply to that, either. I would’ve agreed once. Manjiro made sure I couldn’t.

We arrived to the building and I was astounded by how distinctly I remembered it despite being away from it from so long. My mind went on that nurse who helped me escape. I wondered if they fired her.

Dante hopped out of the car the same time I did, using a fancy keycard to gain access into the building. Walking through it, I realized I never took the time to appreciate how large the space was. We reached the room where Dante said he’d be— the meeting room.

Mikey, I’m here as promised, Dante announced and I held my breath. I hadn’t the slightest clue what to say when I saw him, or whether what I’d say would be the right thing. Probably not, considering I wanted to curse him like a dog.

I still had time to think of something though. When Dante opened the door, nobody was there.

Am I being pranked? I asked Dante whose eyebrows were furrowed.

That’s strange. He hasn’t checked out of the building at all today so he’s still in here.

I looked around for a bit, feeling something amiss, and then I found the window looking out over the city. Dante, is there any room in this place that has a better view than this one?

No, this is the highest floor in the building. No view comes close. Why do you ask?

They all had something in common. This room, Mikey’s house’s design, the hotels he booked, down to the dates he scheduled— there was one common denominator.

The view. I snapped my fingers. Mikey likes the views!

But there’s no better view than… the roof. He’s on the roof.

I wasted no time, bolting out of the door. The elevator stopped just to the meeting room floor. Only stairs could take you up to the roof. I sprinted up them by God’s grace, barely even winded by the time I opened the door.

Good thing too, because the sight of Mikey took my breath away. It was only his back, the same black hair I had seen him in the last time fluttering in the wind. What worried me most was not where he was standing, feet firmly planted on the ledge. What worried me most was how relaxed he was on the ledge, as if he wasn’t staring a certain death right in the face. A strong enough wind would send him right to it. I couldn’t witness that. My feet moved on their own, fueled by adrenaline. I had barely reached him when he started to push himself over the ledge, but I caught him in time, gripping my shirt between his fingers and snatching him back with all my might. He fell back easily, too startled by the fact somebody was there to catch him to brace himself. He landed right atop of me in a heap of limbs. My hands were trembling. It was as if I had just realized how close I was to missing that chance to grab him. Tears came into my eyes, but I didn’t know if they were from anger or from fear.

You idiot, I whispered harshly through sobs. You fucking idiot.

#tw suicide attempt #🗝; citizen #🗝; mikey #🗝; chronicles of vee: vol. 1 #now mod let me tell you how long i pondered this response #i sat and reflected okay.#in shock.#angst clearly is ur thing bc.#wow

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