#if i did the world couldn't stop me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stellorc · 1 year

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hello there c:

yes i'm in fact alive, and actually painting a lot (shocking i know!) but nothing is finished yet so please have these sketches. Look at this wonky little guys. I feel weird posting wips bc I never know if people actually like them. Too late now, I'll subject you all to my unborn creations.

Also, ty all for the support folks. I'm terrible at keeping a blog but know that every interaction is cherished <3

#also also big thanks to the wonderful people commissioning me #still feels unreal that anyone would do that but it's been very fun and challenging #so ty for trusting me with your ideas #hopefully i'll have some personal art to share with you soon #nothing earthshattering but i'm enjoying making them #also pls know that these are like my 2nd/3rd sketch pass #i do not produce somewhat decent looking sketches on my first try oh no #if i did the world couldn't stop me #alas i need to stare at refs and redo stuff until it looks ok to start painting #refs= hands bc the lil shits have the audacity to elude me still #i have other two wips of revan good lord #prayer circle for me to actually have the will to finish them #and yes that's leliana my beloved bard #i never drew her before so fingers crossed i don't botch it #i shall leave now goodbye

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atdawn · 9 months

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MERLIN | 4.05 His Father’s Son

#arthur pendragon #merlin #bbc merlin #merlingifs #merlinedit #syfyedit #tvedit #ee #gifs #m #arthur #i know he couldn't really lock eyes with merlin since he was all the way up there on the cliff but in my heart yes he DID!#and he didn't want to disappoint him!#i live in my happy little world of delusion and nobody can stop me<3 #405

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mcdannowave · 11 months

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There's too many things to look at in just one gif...

Giant biceps?Tattoos?Chest hair?

Low hanging trunks? The volume of the front of those wet low hanging trunks? The volume of the behind of those wet low hanging trunks?

The V-line and Abs?The Happy trail?(Even the armpits, if it floats your boat)

#h50 6x17 #steve mcgarrett #alex o'loughlin #shirtless alex #wet alex #hawaii five 0 #I said it was too many.Also could include his gorgeous face and that beard...muito gostoso esse homem #Need to do a proper edit again here.w/ some light shinning on the good..err..i mean. the nice stuff #boy oh boy...this man is stunning . That blond detective hit the jackpot when he got this one #Danny is a lucky man #[Saturday night.McD's home] Steve was already out of the shower while Danny was sitting on their bed.putting his shoes #Steve just dried himself w/ his towel like usual.No caring in the world bc it's just D in the room.And they saw each other na.ked /alot/#There's going to be a dinner at Kono's tonight.nothing fancy actually.But D's mind just couldn't stop staring at Steve's body..dry or wet #Living together for a time.It was still soothing seeing Steve grab his underwear & other stuff on his drawer.See him dressing up😉#After applying deodorant.Steve put his shirt.(still no pants)when D said:''Hey babe.Your shirt is on the wrong side''.#Steve did a quick check out of his basic Tshirt but took it anyway and tried to fix the mistake.''Danno.It was right.I didnt put it-#And looking at Danny.Steve saw the blond grinning.''Oh.U did it on purpose.Let me guess.U like what u see?huh..''Steve smirked back #''That much is very /very/ true Steven.But in this case.I just love seeing u taking the shirt off''.The smile still on Danny's face #Steve then kept the shirt on his hand and slowly walked to Danny.Sitting on their bed.''Maybe I rip that shirt of urs when we get home''#Steve eyes was already crossing the line of casual tease at home...and jumping on.'we gonna get half hour later bc we're doing it /now/'#'No''Danny laughed and raised his hand.''This is way too expensive for u to go caveman on me to ruin it.But..I'll be glad to take it off''#Steve had his victorious-smile on his face now.Crossing arms and still only w/ his black underwear. towering his blond #Danny got up.Up close to that gorgeous hotheaded SEAL.gave him a quick peck on the lips.''Okay.Go change babe.We still need to go''#While D grabbed his phone.Steve kept dressing himself there.''Okay.But don't forget ur promise.And i want it slow.Danny.not just the shirt'#''Hey.I didn't 'promise' nothing''...''Yeah.But u poked the lion and now you get the consequences.But don't worry.U gonna /love/ it''.#Steve kissed Danny now.And they just smiled while finished getting ready and going to the car #A dinner w/ their Ohana.filled w/ laughs & joy.And later...a gorgeous caveman that was crazy to jump on him.Danny already loved that night😏#headcanon tags #mine

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mayomkun · 4 months

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Thinking about how my mom in her 50s who has met and know tons of people throughout her life still believes some people are genuinely good and generally have more faith in humanity than I do

#something she said that I couldn't stop thinking about #idk she always makes me feel hopeful somehow but then everything else crushed it eventually #delete later #sometimes I see older people who genuinely believes in good and like they've been in this world for a long time #surely they faced something much much worse than I did #and thought like maybe my view have been wrong and distorted all this time #but like I never believe people who seem to know how the world works because the world they live in is not my world

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hella1975 · 9 months

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sometimes i think about the fact my grandparents literally overnight just cut us off and im like. how did u even do that. does it torment you

#eeaao's 'how did you let me go so easily' moment. like i dont let myself even THINK about this too often #bc i immediately beat myself back with the 'if it's hard for you then imagine how hard it is for mum. her PARENTS cut her off'#but like. idk. my nan i couldn't give less of a shit about which is something i always find so interesting #bc even as a child with NO basis for it or any understanding of her behaviour both past and present i still wasn't Comfortable around her #like children are smart actually. i just Knew her vibes were off and i Knew my mum was weird when she was around #like i truly dont think i ever loved my nan even when she was a very frequent part of my life #but my grandad? i ADORED him. id see him multiple times a week and he's the kindest man ive ever met #and hannah what i told you about my mum saying certain people have magnetic auras THAT WAS ABOUT HIM #like i cant actually put into words what it was about him but people just wanted to know him and spend time with him #but he was weak and let my nan walk all over him and when push came to shove he chose her and now ive not spoken to him in 3 years #& i KNOW he loved me. he thought the world of me like it's a bitter unspoken thing between me & my sister that we KNOW i was his favourite #he used to buy me egg butties at agricultural shows when my mum said no and specifically ask for two eggs #he used to sit and eat his soup with me when he came over to do work at the house #he used to play with me. he used to smile all the time. i can so clearly hear the way he'd go ''iya [my name]' with his proper rural accent #or how he'd tell anyone who would listen 'she's tough as old boots that one'#and i could make him laugh like NO ONE else could and he'd light up and go 'give over' and he genuinely enjoyed my company #i KNOW HE DID. and i havent spoken to him in 3 years. he'll be dead soon #and i cant talk to my mum about it bc it's her DAD it is so much worse for her and i cant talk to my sister about it #bc she wasn't close with him like i was and she just shuts the conversation down and those are the only two people #who know my grandad and know what he meant to me so im just here like. he literally stopped speaking to me overnight #i stopped hearing from him i stopped meeting up with him im so so angry with him the love is still there i dont know where to put it now #why couldnt he stay. why did he pick her when she's a loveless void of inhumanity. why werent we enough #hella goes home #my grandparents on my dad's side are also not in the picture funnily enough but idgaf about them. she got that grandparentless swag

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magnoliamyrrh · 6 months

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its been insane witnessing the full force of propaganda and american imperialism with my own two eyes as an adult these past few years. obviously ive known abt it plenty and seen it before, but witnessing it at this age with this much force is... dystopian and crazy

#i rly think its accurate to say were living through a second post nine eleven #.........#whats been terrifying too is seeing how.... the things done have only done so much #protests All Over the world including the imperial core So Many cracked down on so hard or seemingly without doing fuck all at #a systemic level. like i couldn't tell u if me or anyone else spending hours calling representatives and writing emails did a single thint #if all the protests in america did anything systemically. the government is doing the same exact shit its been doing despite it #all the un resolutions and calls and anything seem to also have been useless. no matter how many countries voted for a ceasefire in #whichever meeting?? just bc america and israel voted against and bc the un is clearly the lapdog on a leash of the american empire #... i know bolivia and colombia (?) cut diplomatic ties with israel and yamen threathened to declare war and several countries have #threathened several things... and yet.#god sake america has send fucking navy and soldiers to help in the genocide its fucking vile 🤢#and israel (+ us) have fucking bombed and killed civilians in other Fucking Countries Than Palestine and this shit is still going on #.... . i guess were seeing some of the effects of boycotting which is good for sure but that dont stop the actual thing #its just so fucked. our generation has caught a lot of wild shit but i dont know if ive ever seen such great international outcry globally #from populations as i have seen for palestine #AND YET. and yet it continues. and yet it goes on #its fucking horrifying #..... i was thinking too like. in a theoretical scenario lets say everyone in america could get on board with refusing to pay taxes. like #just fuck it. no more funding of this.#but the american government has so much money and power that it wouldnt rly stop them for at least a good while. also. i doubt they wouldn't #commit atrocities on a population that would refuse that hard. and what then? revolution in the streets? in the country made up of 51 #countries? where sure the civilians have guns but the government has shit we cant even dream of?#.#all of this is so deeply dystopian and pained #and im not saying this in some sort of nothing matters so dont do anything way dont speak abt it dont call dont protest dont boycott etc #even when there is 0 hope we have to try #............ but its deeply horrifying

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softpine · 1 year

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i have to tell you guys i’m not a skeptic anymore, i believe in ghosts now and my cousin can see dead people for real :D

#and i'm so annoying because my first thought wasn't ''omg this changes my world view immensely''#it was ''i need to find out how accurate my story is'' fjskjdsj #and the answer is... actually pretty accurate??#she says dead people don't hang out in cemeteries - they hang out with their loved ones #she also said they don't ever speak to her or even really look at her - they're in their own world #but she said there was this one woman who screamed and cried all night long so she couldn't sleep #so she did some digging and found out who the woman was - and as soon as she said the woman's name she stopped crying and chilled out #if only it were that easy for asa fjskdjjs #basically she describes them more like echoes of people than ghosts #they're not trying to fulfill some greater purpose or anything. they're just here because their family is here #anyway take this with a huge grain of salt but it's cool to think about #i bet my great grandpa is calling me slurs lmao #nonsims

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maburito · 2 years

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I know it's annoying but I'm not done thinking about Pokémon, especially Pokémon Legends Arceus. Like the game is already a breath of fresh air in the franchise but what's really frustrating is that I know it could have been the best pokemon game of all time if capitalism wasn't a thing and the Pokémon company let their developers actual time to make good games, rather than prioritizing the numbers of game coming out in short time.

Like they really really didn't need to have the 9th generation coming out this year, Legends Arceus could have had DLCs and I know people would have been all over it.

More than anything though, if Gamefreak developpers had as much time and means for Legends Arceus as the Legend of Zelda team had for Breath of the Wild, there would have been no need for a 9th generation to come out the following months it would have probably made enormous sales

I would rather wait for a well developed game that take me hours to finish then one that was barely scrapped together so the next one could be produced and so on.

#Pokemon #Pokemon Legends Arceus #Did the Pokémon presents disappointed me? Yes #Look I'm just!! I'm not blaming the developpers though!! It's the ceo that's responsible it's those above!!#How are you gonna have one game coming out than barely a month later announces another!!#This is not normal!#Also it's so frustrating because Legends Arceus is great!!#It has so much good in it!!#Many good ideas!!#But it could have been way way better #And no I'm absolutely not talking about the graphism coz frankly I couldn't care less about them #I have so many ideas of things I had wished had happened in Pokemon Legends Arceus #Like mainly in terms of scenarios and even quest for legendaries #Like seriously you could have made a whole scenario where Darkrai had put someone into a nightmare #And thanks to Cyrus's grandma Abra you could enter the dream and maybe even have some horror elements added to it!#And the fucking distorsion world !!!!!! Why didn't we got a moment in the story where we were taken to the distorsion world with Volo!!!#And an evil possessed Arceus or maybe just a fight between Arceus and Giratina!#OK I'll stop aidbakxbzl #Burito talk

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dangoulains-devotion · 27 days

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thinking just a bit too hard about how the added depth given to tifa and aerith's friendship only increases the weight threatening to crush tifa after the forgotten capital, she already had so much to carry on her weary shoulders, she's going to have to carry even more when mideel happens, and it doesn't even stop after meteorfall, ohg od oh i love her so much i

#(sobbing and crying and snotting everywhere) AERITH GAVE HER SOMEONE TO CONFIDE IN ON SUCH A TUMULTUOUS JOURNEY #SOMEONE SHE COULD BE AS CLOSE TO FULLY RELAXED AS POSSIBLE #SOMEONE TO GOSSIP WITH OR SHARE HER CONCERNS OR JUST. BE A NORMAL GIRL WITH #YUFFIE'S THERE BUT SHE'S JUST A KID AND TIFA WOULD NEVER WANT TO HARM THE AIR OF CAREFREE CHILDISHNESS SHE MANAGES TO MAINTAIN EVEN IF #ITS BECAUSE YUFFIE IS HIDING THINGS THAT ARE CRUSHING HER #but poor tifa . gentle tifa. is now left to regret. to blame herself.#she has barret who acts like a father figure to her sure - but despite how much she cares about him and values her frienship with him #he's not aerith. he's not someone she can just gossip about first loves with. not someone she can fully Relate to. if you get what i mean #she is left to trace back the thread of how poor aerith got caught in this mess #she was the one to ask aerith to save marlene. but how did they get there? aerith refused to let cloud be a bystander in wall market #how did that happen? she made a risky choice that put her in a position where their paths crossed. why? because cloud was briefly lost #during the bombing mission. why did the bombing mission happen? she couldn't stop it. ETC ETC #NONE OF IT WAS HER FAULT... BUT SHE NEVER WANTED TO DRAG INNOCENT PEOPLE INTO THIS AT ANY SINGLE POINT #AND NOW SOMEONE WHO QUICKLY BECAME A CLOSE FRIEND IS GONE oh lord my heart #all of this added onto the things like how alone she was in nibelheim... it was just her and her dad for some years after the boys all left #and then the Incident happens and she loses that last person she had... and to an extent another she didn't even know was right there(cloud #god i could talk about her and how she has suffered more than jesus for ages (happy easter. lmao)#FF7 Rebirth spoilers #just in case?? for anyone who's only playing the remakes i guess. since this was basically already there the remakes just elaborate on it #i think about 'we found you!' 'i guess you did!' SO OFTEN #these two girls mean the world to me and i will not let you reduce them to love interest rivals #when tifa ran over to aerith's body i think everyone in the world heard my heart shattering into dust #these thoughts are a bit disjointed and don't articulate well what i mean but god. god. i am thinking about her today

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theheightofdishonor · 1 year

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How do I explain that this lives in my heart? That looking at it makes me yearn and hope and grieve? That the phrase "this same spring will never come again" has burned itself into my brain and relights every now and then just for the hell of it?

It's hands down one of my favourite art from the series. Everything about it from the grim colours now that the sun has fallen, to the trash heap they're determinedly climbing, Kageyama leading in his partner's stead with the third years doggedly behind him, all with a hand on the Karasuno banner. The second and first years marching behind them in that order. The fallen bike in the front corner. The crow, for both Karasuno and for Hinata who can't be with them. Because truly, this spring will never come again and this team will never be the team that they are right here in this moment and isn't that so tragic? so wonderful?

#karasuno #haikyuu!!#haikyu #if yall are wondering it's because between tohru + the last episode title of fruit basket's first season i couldn't stop thinking about hq #like like like #its kageyama leading the way because ofc it is #because hinata's been in front of him urging him to step forward this entire time #and it's his turn to pick up when his partner can't #don't look away from me-not for a single second he says and is that not just their positions reversed?#kageyama even admits to as much #that sometimes no matter how hard he tries he cannot look away from hinata shoyo but now there is no hinata shoyo to demand that the world #look at them and never look away and so kageyama does it for him #and then the third years as the solid foundation to help kageyama along-daichi and suga and asahi- without who this team would never have #reached the heights they did #unshakable and fearless and brave #the second years who have found their place right on their heels and then the rest of our new first years years bringing up the end #anyways i have so many feelings about this as you can possibly tell #such as tanaka standing tall at the rear

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sherlock-is-ace · 10 months

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#god! why is having a meltdown the most embarrassing thing in the world? even a day later #i hate beeing aware of every single thought and feeling i'm feeling while not being able to put a finger on what it is #and also being aware of every feeling and thought people around me are probably having #and then not knowing what the fuck to do to stop them from acting angry at me or just not talking to me at all #i know seeing someone going completely insane is not a fun feeling for people but i'm not doing it on purpose #could we pretend it didn't happen when it's over?#it's not that i'm not telling you what's going on in a calmed manner because i hate you and want you to worry #i'm not talking because i CAN'T and even if i could I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING #i spent all day yesterday trying to avoid having a meltdown and when i finally failed #i was crying by myself in silence not bothering anyone #but of course my mom seeing me cry made my anxiety and embarrassement spike and then my brain was gone #so not being able to explain to her what was going on made HER upset with ME and i just couldn't deal with that so i had to go to sleep #but i woke up today and she's being so cold to me and i can't help but feel guilty because I KNOW it's because of me that she's like that #and there's nothing i can do about it #i want to apologize but i literally don't know what to pologize for cause i didn't do anything wrong?#i don't think i did? and what's the point of apologizing if i don't think i did something wrong?#i'm not going to be those people who say ''i'm sorry you feel this way'' cuase that's not an apology!#i fee like shit mentally. physically. emotionally AND have to deal with my mom acting angry and offended and cold #idk what to do #i should have stayed in bed #but no... i'm ranting on the internet #angel talks #personal

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scopop08 · 1 year

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Little Soldier by The Crane Wives is such a treebark coded song, and i will be elaborating.

On the broken backs of all the words we spared

Like little soldiers in the trenches

It was a march we made towards ruin and despair

But we held hands all the while

Holding everything they wanted to say to spare the other, carrying on despite everything, hand in hand, leading themselves to their own destruction. The literal war they were in, holding on to the slim and fast fading hope of victory and steadying eachother through.

I swear that I loved you

Oaths sworn to the other, taking that trust and love and looking on it in retrospect, saying "I'm sorry. I knew we couldn't win. I know everything I said and did. I swear that I loved you then despite what happened."

Beneath the table you would offer up my bones

And all the dogs would lick your fingers

This applies more to Ren, offering himself up to the Red King, letting the flames and hunger consume him as the Red King's influence tore through Ren's original intent and kindness. Being worn down completely.

And I dragged you through every room inside our home

But you still held me at night

What Ren put Martyn through the entire time, having to behead the person closest to you, watching as every bit of who you once loved is stripped away by the fear and violence he had created. Staying by his side through it all. Being a loyal hand to the crown that is consuming everything you stood for, seeing your ideals slip away right before your eyes. No matter what Ren put Martyn through, Martyn couldn't leave him, he was in too deep. It's his home too.

I swear that you loved me

Martyn seeing the Red king destroy Ren, steadying himself in his cause with the memory of what Dogwarts was when it was just Renchanting. Reminiscing on the nights they spent together in that terribly cold basement, the look in Ren's eyes as he promised Martyn that they wouldn't only survive, but win. How the dog's face lit up as he talked about enchanting, how his smile softened as he looked at him. Ren loved Martyn, Martyn swears it. No matter what was happening at the end, how much of Ren was left. He loved Martyn.

We didn't give up, we wouldn't dare surrender

It was an honest loss

Self explanatory, they fought their hardest until their last moments, protecting their home. (Protecting the person that was their home). Dying at their own alter, hearts and teeth laid bare.

Now the aftermath will ring with songs you've sung

All of our words sent home in boxes

The battle of Dogwarts, the mark the two left, would signal the very beginning of the end. Nothing would last much longer after, directly responsible for the outcome of the series, even though they wouldn't live to see it.

I fought with tooth and nail before the flag had flown

But you were already gone

Martyn was fighting for Ren and by Ren's side since the very beginning when he stumbled across Renchanting. In tandem, the Ren that began third life with Martyn was gone before the final battle of Dogwarts, before the flag had even been made, much less flown. Martyn fought for his king until his final moments, if there were no weapons we wouldn't have hesitated to stake his life in a battle of bare fists to protect Ren. Ren who, by that point, was long gone, hollowed out by the fury of the Red King and used as a vessel for blind violence. Martyn could've looked Ren in the eyes as they both bled out on the alter and instead of any recognition that his partner was laid there, dying before him, he would've seen the eyes of a wild animal. Terrified and furious, ready to chew it's own limbs off before it surrended to death.

I'll swear that I loved you

Both of them justifying the outcome to themselves as they fall through the void of death before moving on to whatever would come next. They'll swear that it all happened because of the love that they held for each other. Ren never would have summoned a war god and let it tear out everything that he stood for until he was an empty shell if he didn't think it would protect Martyn. He was sacrificing himself in the hope that the act would allow them to win, Martyn to live. Martyn only stayed once everything started to fall apart because of his love for Ren. Because he was desperately clinging onto the fond memories of before the real war started.

They have to swear that it all happened because they loved each other, because if they didn't, all of it would be meaningless. Everything they put the other through had to have happened out of love, because otherwise it would've been out of cruelty, a mutually assured destruction.

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keeps-ache · 1 year

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every couple days i see something about amogus and i'm like 'oh i should play that again, it was so fun' like the game didn't make me absolutely feral

#just me hi #fun fact. that game is half the reason i named Rave that hfhvhbv #that is his favorite place in the world! Rave Unleashed #/but yeah 2019-21 i played it All The Time and got really good at it #and i also lost All conventions so i definitely enjoyed the apeshizz time #but also not sure if that could be good for me longterm hvhhfbvh #/ALSO i think that game helped me learn how to just make up a whole story on a whim hhvhfhbvf #i'd be covering for me and my brother and making up a Whole Thing along with it #70% success rate don't check that #i stopped playing when it started asking for emails though and didn't accept the one i gave it so i couldn't play :/#also like every other server was people on discord ?? if it's a discord server why not make it private ???#kinda rude i think but overall it was fun lol #/holy funk and that game Also made me realize i wasn't cis ffvfvbfhsjv #i'd get Super happy when people assumed i was the wrong gender. incredibly psyched! ignored it then but oh Boy did it open my eyes later lo #//yeah i should definitely play it again hvhfh #or Should I [squints]#hmmm #well if it'll run on my emulator i'll take it as a sign loll #:>

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c4ts4ndstuff · 2 years

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i am way too attached to this three sentence conversation from a dream years ago but haven’t actually written a story to go around it so i’m just sitting here like !!!

#op #''will you stop me if i try to do something heroic?''#''...no''#''then i can't''#SEE the guy asked that because it feels like every time something Big happens and he steps up as a hero #something always happens to her!#and he's just tired!#because he doesn't want to lose her again! especially because what if she DOES die this time?#and she understands that but at the same time she still answers no because if it's a choice between her and the world then she wants him to #save the world!#and he eventually DOES come around because he couldn't live with himself if he just stood by and did nothing #but there's still the pain and fear that something else will happen to her! and he won't be able to save her!#idk i'm just having feelings #the characters who had this conversation though in my dream were from a show and idon't feel like i know their characters well enough to #actually write them so this is probably all there will be of this scene

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iloveyouitisruiningmylife · 17 days

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i really want to be all grown up and keep up with the news but

#seeing all these big horrifying things happen to so many people all over the world #i feel so small and helpless and dumb #it takes me back to crying in my moms car because my dad scolded me and her saying. well. other people have much bigger problems than you #so stop crying #this isn't even worth crying about he treats me worse imagine if i cried everytime he did something little bad like that #i couldn't even say anything. i was so young man i want to let go of that memory i have better people in my life now who love me #i know better about being sad dealing with being sad i now know that you can't compare problems with anyone #your smallest problem might be their biggest most hurtful and they could be as hurt as you are for your biggest problem everyone is just #built and raised different like that #but i just. i can't #who am i to cry about abstract things like not having enough love when people are losing their loved ones to a war they can't control?? who #am i to cry about not being passionate about my career when people who wanted to study who were already so happy and successful after #working so hard lost their lives out of nowhere??#idk it's like. i don't even want to live. and then all this makes me feel like i don't deserve to live #i know me existing or not existing won't make a difference to all of those people but still #okay straight up making no sense rn

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sucrevere · 1 month

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#twit is about the artists first love who loved her more than she thinks she deserved. some of the lyrics talk about her being unhappy #despite it. she felt suffocated and like she was his whole world while he was not hers. eventually he too grew unhappy and they broke up #anyways #sometimes i think about my first relationship when i listen to this song #pretty sure she had bpd. she loved me so much. i was her favorite person. but... i was the person who put the most effort into the #relationship.#i thought it was my duty as the person who ''wore the pants'' ig and she adored the attention. its always been in my nature to watch out #for others i suppose.#when i became severely depressed after turning 18 i lost all passion and desire to do anything. i had no energy for the relationship #instead of picking up the slack... she started acting out to try and regain my attention. it didn't work. i didn't have the energy to give #her my attention but she desperately needed it.#at some point it hit me that i was aro and it was at that point i realized i needed to cut it off.#she loved me so much. she loved me too much. she'd never had a partner who treated her the way i did. she couldn't imagine a life #without me.#i couldn't be the person she needed and i knew it. it would hurt her but it would be for the best. i know she would never be able to cope #with the fact that i'd never be able to love her in the same way she did i. so i did. i think it broke her #to put it bluntly. she tried to rape me in response. corrective rape. she wanted me to stop being aromantic.#it didn't work. i stood my ground. i was larger and stronger than her.#there's no excuse for it. but sometimes... i want to feel bad for her. i loved her too. not in the same way she loved me but i did.#i mourn her and our relationship still sometimes. i know i ruined her. i feel like i did. i feel like if i were different or if i had #handled it better then she wouldn't have done that. i feel like its my fault still #i know its not.#but i still feel like it was and because of that. i feel guilt.#tw rape #rape mention #Spotify

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