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#if i delete this in like 10 minutes dw about it
multi-lefaiye · 1 year
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ok i'm gonna get really venty real quick b/c it's 3 am and i feel emotional (in a good way!!!!! just. contemplative)
uhhh under the cut but i'm talking a bit about like. the one (1) almost relationship i had before i started dating cal and eventually astro and shadow. also body image stuff ig
anyway i almost dated a dude named warren in middle school and like. idk what it was but i was really into him but he made me feel so fucking self conscious all the time, and idk if that was just my own insecurities or anything he said or did but i remember feeling like. gross and embarrassed about being fat and not easy to pick up and yeah i kissed him once and regretted it and then we stopped talking
and it's a little thing but idk i was just thinking about like. wow being consistently loved and cherished by calem for almost three years and now being loved and cherished by astro and shadow too i'm like. the insecurities aren't Gone but idk y'all i'm getting emotional thinking about like Oh wow being loved by people who really understand me and love me for who i am.... waow.....
idk where i'm going with this actually nvm i just got off a call with two of my partners and i wanted to cry a little b/c they kept saying they love me and i love them and that made me really happy
i wanna cuddle all of them.
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eywathemother · 1 year
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Fish Lips Part 5
Ship: Aonung x Kiri's twin sister!Reader
Warnings: Language, bullying, gore, fighting, talk of war, injury and blood, slow burn, enemies to lovers (not really a warning just some people don't like that trope), death of (a) character(s), not proofread
Words: 2,170
Keys: (y/n) = your name,,(y/i/n) = your Ikran's name,, Neural Queue= the braid extension of a Na'vi's nervous system that allows them to link up to animals and Ewya,,(y/II/n) = your ilu's name,,
Chapters; Introduction || Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || Part 6 || Part 7 || Part 8 || Part 9 || Part 10 ||
Spoilers for Avatar: The Way of Water A whole ass lot.
Did I tell yall I love ya??????? Nicest ppl ever, I just wanna hug ya n squeeeeze yaa. Okay funny story, my cat King Cinnamon is an insane orange cat, and I was watching Avatar again (It's literally on replay every time I write these fics) and he would only attack the screen when Jake was on the tv. I made him stop ofc, but it was hilarious, HE WOULD HUG THE TV AND TRY TO BITE JAKES FACE LMFAOOA. I don't think he likes Jake much (He is an avid tv watcher btw.)
I deleted this chapter like six times cuz I hated it, I still do but I'm tired of redoing it so I hope you all like it. Ik I said slow burn and it seems like I'm rushing but dw this story still has a long way to go.
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It had become a routine of yours and Aonung's to sit on 'his' rock at night, normally just a silent moment between you both. Almost every night you would swim to the rock, and he'd be right next to you ten minutes later. Sometimes he would speak, other times you would, but normally it was just enjoying each other's company.
It has been four months, but you still weren't on the best of terms in your opinion. He'd still let out an insult here and there and you'd jab right back. You took notice of the drastic difference in his behavior towards you, especially lined up next to your siblings.
You didn't understand what was so special about you, you were practically a carbon copy of your brothers, especially Lo'ak who Aonung seemed to dislike the most. Well, technically both of you acted like your father when he was younger, according to your mother.
Rash, irresponsible, and shoot first, ask questions later. Of course, you'd just roll your eyes at that, you couldn't imagine your father getting into stupid fights and arguments. Which was in fact what you were doing in this exact moment with Lo'ak.
" You broke my necklace, you bitch." You yelled, the last part in English, and Lo'ak glowered at you, Tsireya cocked her head at you in confusion.
You stuck out your broken necklace, the beads missing and some handpicked rocks you got from home. His ears went back." Wasn't me!" He snarled, ears going back and smirk from his face falling." You were the only one in the Marui before it was broken." You pointed at his chest; he smacked your hand away.
" It wasn't me, stop always blaming me!" He yelled and you rolled your eyes." Oh yeah then-"
" Knock it off!" Kiri yelled at you two, glaring as well as she could as Tuk braided her hair. You both glared at each other." Mother fucker." You hissed in his ear quietly, and he side eyed you.
" Dickhead."
" Twat face."
You both covered your mouths and giggled to yourself at the childish insults, completely forgetting the argument you were just in." You guys should teach me English! I wanna know what you're saying!" Tsireya stated and you both looked at each other.
" Lo'ak can teach you." You smiled at her patting his back. Aonung, Rotxo, and Neteyam swam over. They were teaching Neteyam how to hunt under the water so that they could take him on hunts.
" What's up." Rotxo waved his hand in greeting, and You all waved back. " I'm trying to convince them to teach me English." Tsireya announced and Neteyam looked at you and you shrugged in response.
" I already caught on to one." Tsireya spoke proudly and you raised a brow." Oh yeah?"
" Yeah, 'bitch'." She repeated your words and you and Lo'ak cringed as Neteyam whipped his head at you two." That's...not really a good thing to say." Lo'ak explained and you snickered quietly to yourself.
"Oh, apologies." She went a bit lower in the water in embarrassment." What does it mean?" Rotxo asked and Aonung eyed you as you giggled with Lo'ak, he had been watching you a lot more, but you pretended not to notice. Neteyam rolled his eyes." It's an insult usually towards girls."
Neteyam glared at you, and you shrugged, you really didn't know she was going to catch on and take interest in your small talks in English with Lo'ak. It normally wasn't even a full conversation; it was more throwing insults and giggling about it afterwards. it was a little game you guys did, having childish humor like the two of you have it was just between you guys.
" Why are you insulting Lo'ak with a female insult?" Tsireya questioned and everyone turned to you." Because he's a big baby girl." You teased taking a braid in his hair and twirling it to piss him off.
He smacked your hand away as you snickered at his annoyance." Anyways, what do you wanna do today?" He asked and everyone looked at each other. " I'm gonna go fix the necklace you broke." You exclaimed huffing at Lo'ak who rolled his eyes." That's what you get for calling me a female insult." You saw a smirk on his face, and you rolled your eyes back at him.
" Seeya." You waved at them, and everyone said goodbye, except for Aonung he just gave a small wave. When you got out of the waters Kiri called you over.
"Yeah?" Kiri nudged her head towards the water where everyone else was." You have an admirer." She teased as Tuk moved her head back into place." Stop moovingg." Tuk whined, you turned your head a bit to catch Aonung flick his eyes back to your big brother. You shook your head." Nah."
" Yes so. He's been staring at you the entire time." You rolled your eyes and waved a hand at her." Okay, whatever you say." She shook her head and went back to her conversation with Tuk as you walked towards your Marui.
When you got back to your families pod your mother was there with Ronal. They stopped and turned to look at you as you awkwardly stood at the entrance." Oh, sorry." You gave a half smile and Ronal's face flickered to the necklace in your hand.
" My, you're quite the crafty one." She put her hands out, gesturing for you to place the necklace in her hands. You did so hesitantly." It was almost finished but it got broken." You explained rubbing the back of your neck.
She ran her hands along the rocks and beads, after an awkward silence she looked up at you." Would you like to help me craft sometime?" She asked, going back to looking at the necklace." Me? Sure!" You grinned at her, and she nodded.
" It's gorgeous dear." She complimented and your ears darkened. You bowed your head a bit in thanks." Thank you." You breathed and smiled, Neytiri handed you a basket as you began to turn and leave.
" Please grab some more fruits for dinner on your way back." She ran her hand over your hair affectionately and you leaned into her touch before she pulled away patting your shoulder.
You gave her a smile before you left to the woods behind the branches of woods that made up the Metkayina village. As you walked slowly through the batch of woods you heard the sound of footsteps behind you.
You turned around, Aonung staring at you with his unbothered stare that he has been giving you all week. You both just stared at each other awkwardly until you cleared your throat to speak." Are you following me?" You smirked and he looked away for a moment before meetings your eyes." No." He responded, surprisingly no smug or rude comment.
You squinted your eyes at him." You've been acting weird." You waited for a response, but he just started walking past you." I'll show you where the best place is to pick fruits if you zip your lip." He smirked at your face; annoyance plastered on it.
You raised an eyebrow at him." Fine then looks like you won't be sharing this amazing fruit picking location because my lips aren't gonna seal for you." You walked past him and continued straight. You didn't hear anything as you continued to walk forward, so you thought he was gone.
" Man, that boy." You mumbled, flicking a branch in front of you." What about me?" His voice rang out and you let out a quick scream. " Jesus Christ, man!!" You held your hand to your racing heart, he let a loud laugh." Who is Jesus Christ?" He asked and you scoffed." Some famous guy from Earth."
" That's a weird thing to yell out after being scared, do I look like Jesus or something?" He asked, his face looked serious, but his eyes were glistening with mirth. It was your turn to laugh." Not even close!" You bent over the basket you were holding your ears and cheeks a dark purple.
When you got done laughing you looked up at him, he was watching your face the whole time. A peaceful silence broke out as you stared at each other as you gained your composure." I still don't like you; you know." He spoke matter of fact, and you rolled your eyes.
" We were having a moment." You turned forward and began your walk again, which this time you noticed his presence." Why did you follow me out here?" Your question booming through the quiet forest. He didn't respond until you turned around to give him a quizzical look.
" I just wanted a walk, is it a crime that I accidentally ran into you." He shrugged and you squinted your eyes at him." In the same spot as me?" You quirked a brow at him, he folded his arms across his chest." It's a pathway bound to be walked on." He argued and he pointed forward.
" Plus, your headed to a beautiful spot where I like to sit." He took a step towards you with a smirk." Wanna join me?" He quizzed but you didn't by it. How come every time your alone and he shows up he claims you're on his spot or area.
After a few beats if silence, his smirk slowly turning to an annoyed pout." Fine don't, you're missing out though, on a great view." He was really trying to convince you to come without actually saying it.
" Oh please, I am the greatest view." You joked and his eyes roamed you up and down before he shrugged and spun on his feet." Hey what was that for?" You hissed at him, and you tugged his arm as you followed him through the trees.
" Aonung?" You looked up at the boy who was giving you a mischievous look. " Look." He poked your cheek directing your face forward as he moved a large leaf out of the front of you. " Woah." You breathed; a waterfall was in front of you with a lake surrounding it.
" See told you." He walked towards a rock and sits on it; you follow close behind looking at all of the plants surrounding the water." Do you have these in the forest?" He asked and you shrugged." Waterfalls and lakes yeah but some of the plants are different."
You admired a flower that was near Aonung's leg, and he looked down." How'd you find this place?" You asked, he placed his feet in the water." Well, it wasn't hard to find I just used my eyes." You scoffed, you moved onto a different rock, placing your mother's basket next to you.
You dipped one foot into the water, moving your feet in the warm water. You could feel his eyes on your and you turned your head his way." You've been staring at me." You spoke, and he turned his head fully towards you.
" I haven't." He scoffed in denial, and you rolled your eyes, smirking at him. " Well thanks for showing me your lovely place, I still don't like and I need to go get fruit for my mother." You stood up and he got up as well." I'll show you the fruit spot."
You unconsciously smiled at him which made him give you a quizzical look." What?" He asked and you wiped the smile from your face." What, I wasn't' smiling."
He rolled his eyes and gestured for you to follow, you picked up your pace and fell beside him as he walked you towards this fruit pocket of a sort. It was a peaceful silence that followed your walk towards the fruit but the whole time you were wondering as to why he was being so nice to you today.
" That necklace you had in your hand in the waters with Lo'ak," He broke the silence, but pausing to make sure you were listening." Who is it for?" You shrugged at his unusual question." It was more for a reminder of home, but since it lost some of it's pieces I don't think I'll finish it." You stated, smiling at the thought of Ronal's compliment of it." Why do you ask?"
" No reason." When you reached the area Aonung helped you pick some but reminded you he was doing himself a favor and not there to help you. When you got done picking you headed back with him, it was almost late afternoon, so you had to hurry it up.
" I still don't like you, forest girl." He reminded you once you reached the point where you went your separate ways." Yeah yeah, don't think I like you either fish boy." He shook his head and walked away. Today was definitely an odd day, but peaceful nonetheless, you felt like you were finally starting to fit in.
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Taglist; @akinatrix , @willowbrookesblog , @lovesickbtch , @ao-sleepy , @elli-aesthetics , @ducks118 , @aeclark04 , @audigay ,@lola-bunn1 , @curlszx88 , @kidwithaheavystick , @weridpersonhelp , @yeosxxx , @tsamiaxoo , @shartnart1 , @tsukette , @daphne000 , @amarillyssnowdrop , @neteyamsmate4life , @stitch-lele , @purplefsh , @dumb-fawkin-bitch , @goodiesinthecloset21 , @theghostofshadows , @aonungs-tsahik , @simpliheavenli , @bob-the-ikran , @littleshybunbun , @werelosingdaylight , @ijwsbdinp , @xoxovienna , @findingourtreasure ,
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nerflufser · 5 months
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Is procreate free? Or do you recommend any other digital art apps?
Oh I'm really good at this question.
So as someone who has put around 500$ or more in digital drawing supplies I have a bit of information.
Procreate isn't free. Procreate is 10 US dollars (so depending on where you live it'll vary I'm not sure what the other prices are cause I live in America) and I don't recommend procreate for beginners (if you are that jekejd) procreate was hard for me to learn how to use, I used to use it awhile back but it just didn't give my art that touch that was really needed. But it does have a nice drawing program, brushes are easy to import, and they have a nice selection of brushes to start off with.
Uh personally some good free drawing programs are ibis paint x. You can buy the premium but I honestly just don't bother with it. You only have to watch a 1 minute ad to have access to all the brushes they have up already for you (and trust me there's a lot of brushes) and also brushes you've imported. It's pretty good for being a free app, but it does seem a little cheap as it'll show a lot of ads. (Dw it won't make you watch an ad mid-drawing)
Another program I recommend is paint tool SAI (this is for computers btw) I'm sure you've heard of it, but I really recommend this if you wanna have the classy **import British accent** ' oh look at me I have a drawing program on my computer and a drawing tablet pip pip cheerio ! ' just kidding- (or maybe I'm not/jj) but yeah if you're looking into getting a drawing tablet I would recommend getting paint tool SAI theres not that much brushes- but I'm pretty sure you can import them.
I wouldn't recommend using any really online drawing thing, like magma, whiteboard, ECT. Cause those can be buggy and might accidentally delete your drawing.
But I mean most of these are fueled by my personal opinions, I'm sure there are videos out there that give you more information than I did and I recommend watching them, tbh that's how I learned About all of these programs (other than ibis paint my friend theater kid told me that years ago)
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dannywashere · 9 months
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“I am become baba, destroyer of worlds - baba is you” on the R4nboovods channel
2:07:16 He groans then talks some then he starts whining while he’s talking
2:10:00 they say please like 5 times
2:13:00 moaning and stuttering and making sobbing like sounds for like a full minute idk how to describe it lmao (he makes some goofy sounding moans on purpose too which was funny)
2:15:03 “*gasp* oooh! Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh!”
2:15:47 stuttering gasps and then breathes in sharply then basically moans while they say “hold on”
2:16:00 someone donates mentioning the weird noises and he does the yelling help bit in like weird groans
2:17:15 “there we go~” 🤭
2:28:20 cmon that was just a whole moan on purpose outta nowhere
I tried lmao but u gotta be as delusional as me to see it the same and ik I missed some stuff this is just the parts I was talking about
(Also that thing u said about purposely doing stuff like that in a stream a bit ago there’s a clip where they say something kinda high pitched then go “what was that? I’m gonna be honest I need to straighten out. Otherwise I’m gonna loose the people that like to listen to my voice.”)
Also I might be sending this to the wrong blog but I can’t check without deleting all this so if am ignore it lol also ignore if it sends off on anon I’ve been having that problem
THIS IS THE RIGHT BLOG DW!!
okay the first one is already so 🤭 like the groan first of all like omg give us facecam puhlease bc we know you leaned back in your chair and groaned.
2. OKAY LIKE IVE SAID IN THE PAST: he knows that he has to ask, beg, for what he wants and he knows what his fans want SPECIFICALLY THIS SIDE OF HIS FANS BC PLEASSNSM???/?// and I’m the right person to come to when someone starts to beg, by someone I mean Ranboo. Send me clips of Ranboo begging if any of you have them.
3. OKAY OMGWISHJSNS WE’RE ALREADY INTO THIS ONE FIRST SECOND JESUS CHRIST. So he does a little gasp before saying “level 9” and says it all in a whiney voice like pleaseee. Okay he just moaned like I need to calm down. Okay tell me he’s not moaning and playing it off like a joke like JEEZ that is what it sounds like and it’s been done before. But yes anon they are very silly with context 🤭 OKAY HERE COME THE SOBS IM IM IM IM IM GONNA MELT
THE LITTLE “I can’t”s WITH THE SOBS “I can’t even begin to-“ THEN SOMETHNG COVERING HIS MOUTH HE KNOWS. Okay let’s put this into my context for ppl who are delulu like me: It won’t fit in his mouth, (ykwim by this stfu ykwim.) no matter how hard he tries it won’t fit, he can’t even start to put it in his mouth because his mouth is so small and tots just way too big, he’s sobbing from how hard he’s trying to force it into his throat but he keeps gagging. (Like tell me that “thing covering his mouth” can’t be like a gag.) he cant understand how big the dick infront of him is, it’s too much for him. He can’t take it all.
Okay still w number 3 he’s doing his sobs and I’m im im im im imimimimim
4. BEOBAHAJANSN AHHHHHH /pos
5. Let’s talk ab how at like 2:15:32 it sounds like he had it in his mouth, couldn’t fit it, sounds like he’s pulling off tbh and his little giggles are like AAAA ykwim and he says “i enjoy streaming” BC HE KNOWS WHAT HES DOING‼️‼️‼️
6. The gasps plsplsplspslspslsllsps-soslsllsls and the “hold on” literally a moan like stfu if ur gonna say otherwise.
7. That person fr called him out 🤭 and plesosjsnns
8. THE “there we go” PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STOP IM JUST AAAAGAHHANA
9. No he moaned on purpose and he knows it 😭. Like tell me that was on accident and don’t lie bc yk he did a little laugh afterwards bc he’d been practicing to do it on stream and it didn’t come out like he wanted. Kinda like me when I practiced saying “here” for school every day and it still came out bad anyways…
anon i think we are both very delusional.
AND YES I SAW THAT CLIP I WS LIKE AAAAA
thank you anon tytytytytyty
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serostuffsmh · 3 years
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Okay so i hate canon and its soft overhaul time (thanks for the characters and world building horikoshi but i'll take it from here) (also no worries about deleting my ask dude, im kinda glad i got an excuse to get into the soft writing headspace again-and dw im saving this one in another writing app too!)
- he's usually strict with no PDA in front of his workers/ in public, but the second you two are alone he becomes the clingiest,most touch-starved soft boy, you have no idea
-when he's sitting down he always wants one of your knees to be touching/leaning against his (thats the secret reason why he manspreads like that)
-if you want some more distance he still wants your shoes to touch his (and not even in a playing kinda way; he's happy to just sit still, maintaining physical contact with you)
-he's always had to maintain a tough outer shell bc of his work, so at first he wants to be the one that you lean against and fall asleep on, but one day you finally convince him to lay his head down on your lap, and you can literally see it AWAKEN something behind his eyes (this is probably what jumpstarts his clinginess in a relationship; boy's been holding in stuff since childhood and feeling comfortable enough to be vulnerable for the first time like that just released the floodgates)
-after that, his pride would prevent him from ever verbally asking for physical affection, but all of the precepts would notice how he'll sometimes start shifting his weight too often in his chair (especially at the end of the workday, or if you two havent seen each other for a few days), he's also picked up the habit of nervously tapping on his desk or with a pen (which baffles chrono, since kai has never shown those habits, even when he was younger he internalized a lot of his emotions)
- also if its just you two + chrono/nemoto in a room or meeting, overhaul becomes a bit more lax with his "no PDA" policy; he feels comfortable enough to lay a hand on your shoulder, letting you hold onto his arm, and having both of you absentmindedly play with each other's hands
-it doesnt matter if you've been sitting in his lap for 2 hours or 10 minutes; when you get up, he tries to hide it but its obvious he gets sad like when a puppy notices their human is leaving the house without them.
-falling asleep; if you fall asleep while leaning against him on the couch, or in his lap then he is genuinely gonna do anything to avoid getting up/moving you. Im talking texting chrono to open his office door EXTREMELY quietly and straight up whisper a conversation with him. Trying to move phone or in-person meetings to emails so he can type instead of waking you up.
-if you fall asleep on his couch without him, he really needs to move, or he sees you really need some quality sleep then you're getting carried bridal style into bed. Doesnt matter if you wake up or insist you're not tired; you're getting tucked in bro, i dont make the rules.
-is secretly really proud when you feel comfortable enough to start stealing his shirts; even moreso when you start taking them without timidly asking everytime. He won't ever verbally admit this, but he'll also never complain about missing them. Every once in a while he'll buy a shirt with the sole intention of seeing you wear it, but he's never gonna drop any hints of it.
please anon, I love your headcanons, they're so soft :>
- Seeing you fall asleep gives him a better view of your face to stare at and study, like just look at you, you're so precious.
- His general restlessness during work can be solved if your in the same room. It's kind of like body doubling, it helps him focus if you're there with him.
- The pda doesn't need to be over the top, just enough so you're both comfortable and satisfied.
- And I also love the headcanon that he would tuck you in bed. He doesn't want you to get chilly so he pulls the covers up to your nose.
- Just seeing you romp or lounge around in his dress shirts makes him smile, and watching you try to justify why you wear them is funny in it's own way because he likes when you do it.
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expelliarmus · 4 years
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I saw that ask meme with questions for gif makers going around, but I felt like answering them all on my own lmao
1. What are your top 3 favorite sets you’ve made
This one, this one (if the timing works lmao), and this one (I’m so proud of my AU gifsets... where did all that creativity go??)
2. What is your least favorite set you’ve made
I honestly don’t know... I don’t think I hate anything I’ve posted though. If I don’t like how it’s turning out, I just won’t post it lol
3. Which of your sets has the most notes
The most notes ever is this one I think
4. A set that flopped but deserved better
I don’t know... there’s a bunch, but I’m fine if a gifset flops
5. What is your favorite movie/TV show to gif
DOCTOR WHO
6. What is your least favorite movie/TV show to gif
I really don’t gif anything else lmao...
7. Who are your top 3 gif makers
I’ll just pick 3 people off the top of my head :) @shatner​, @melodyspond​, @stupidape​
8. What gif trend do you hate
The pale/black and white gifs that are so hard to see.......
9. What/who inspired you to start making gifs
I wanted to gif my favourite parts of DW that I didn’t see anyone else doing, so I was like alrighty, time to learn how to do this!! I think the people that inspired me are long gone from tumblr, or I’m no longer following them because they’ve moved blogs (Natasha aka lumos-maxima... wherever you are, I MISS YOU... also Courtney aka needlebug I MISS YOU TOO)
10. What was the first gif you ever posted
THIS ONE! I remember being so happy about posting it, haha. Also, I still love that Confidential episode so much. I miss my space hipsters...
11. What is that one set you made that just won’t die
The Zoboomafoo one
12. What is the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever giffed
Everything I’ve ever posted
13. Where or from whom did you learn how to gif
Various tutorials on here and just by experimenting. I don’t even think I used Photoshop to begin with, since back in my Neopets days I used Paint Shop Pro to make graphics so I think that’s what I used first to try making gifs of videos.
14. How long does it usually take you to make a set
45 minutes to an hour or so?? It’s been taking longer and longer because the screencaps are so huge though and my poor laptop can’t handle it.
15. Have you ever had gifs stolen and reposted
Yes, and don’t think that I can’t tell when those are my gifs, even without a watermark!!
16. How long have you been making gifs
Since 2011...... my god
17. 10 sets, 8 sets, 6 sets? How many gifs to you prefer in a set
As many as it takes!!!!! But usually between 6-8
18. For the aesthetic, for the laughs, or for the feels what your preference
For FUN!
19. What is your gifting process like
Open video, find scene, screencap, load screencaps in Photoshop, resize to gif dimensions, add colouring, curse myself for picking a hard-to-colour scene, continue adjusting colouring and become increasingly frustrated because it’s not turning out the way I want it to, give up, add text, save gif, POST!
20. Mac or PC
PC
21. PSDs or original coloring for each gif
Original colouring. PSD who???
22. What fandom/movie/show/person etc do you gif the most
DOCTOR WHO and more specifically, David Tennant... I think his tag has the most :’)
23. What is the thing you gif when you don’t have anything else you want to gif
Any episode with Ten and Donna, or The Eleventh Hour, or the Day of the Doctor, or Blink
24. 480p 720p 1080p? What is the minimum quality you’ll gif from
I used to be all good with giffing 480p back in the day, but I guess now it’s 720p since the gif limits have gone way up.
25. Old dimensions or new dimensions and why
New dimensions because they look nicer on the dashboard.
26. How many un posted sets are in your drafts right now
ZERO.
27. Have you ever made a set, decided you hated it and deleted it? What was it
Probably at least one or twice, but I don’t remember.
28. Have you ever posted a set, regretted it and immediately deleted it
No, I don’t think so. I’m leaving my mistakes there for all to see!
29. Have you ever posted a set, realized you made a mistake later but it was already too late
Yes, I did this just the other day with that Missy, Bill and Nardole set. I got the dialogue slightly wrong lmao..... shh
30. How frequently do you like to post
I try to do at least one gifset a day if I can!
31. Do you schedule/queue posts or do you post right after you’re done
Right away. These gifsets are fresh off the grill.
32. What is your favorite tool/adjustment layer in Photoshop
Selective Color or Color Balance
33. Do you like to/can you make edits and graphics too or only gifs
Yes, I can do both but gifs are way more fun imo
34. A set that took you a long time/was really hard but you’re really proud of how it came out
I’m gonna say this one again because I was so proud of it when I made it, and I can’t believe I used to put that much effort into my gifs.
35. Do you change your giffing style a lot or do you have a set routine
I have a routine, as described above. My gifs are pretty much all made the same way as I describe in my colouring tutorial too.
36. Do you gif with something specific in mind or do you just wing it
Usually a mixture of both. I like to try to gif a different Doctor each day, so I’ll know who I have in mind but I’m not planning on a specific episode. I’ll just open up one of their series and go from there!
37. What sets if any do you have planned to make in the future
Idk, I was thinking of doing yet another gifset with Donna in it since I just finished her Big Finish series... but maybe I’ll do one with Eleven and the Ponds??? We’ll see.
38. What are you really excited to gif that isn’t out yet
The next Doctor Who holiday special?? :D
39. How often, if ever, do you delete old sets that you don’t like anymore
Never!! I love seeing how my gifs have slowly changed and improved over time.
40. Why do you make gifs
Because it’s fun, and it’s a way for me to relax after a long and busy day at work.
41. What is your least favorite part about your gif making process
When it takes forever for my screencaps to load, and when it takes forever for my gifs to save sometimes
42. How is your gif folder organized? Is it organized at all?
Lol nope.
43. Do you keep videos forever or delete them once you’re done giffing
I keep the episodes forever, but honestly I think I keep everything forever because I forget about getting rid of the other stuff like trailers and interviews... I should go through my downloads folder.
44. Ever had a gif become a meme? Would you like that if you haven't
I’ve had people use my gifs as reaction gifs and it is a weird feeling, especially seeing the gifs being used on websites other than tumblr. I remember seeing one of my gifs used in someone’s book review on Goodreads and I was like “WAIT THAT LOOKS FAMILIAR!!”
45. Ever gotten hate over a set
Not really hate, but I do get a lot people that are like “WHERE IS ______?” in their tags. And sometimes I just want to be like “Make your own gifs if you think they should be there!!!”
46. Ever gotten a really sweet compliment over a set
Yes :’)
47. Any advice for novice gif makers/people who want to start making gifs
Don’t give up!! Make gifs of whatever makes you happy, don’t worry about the notes too much, and use your tags! KEEP PRACTICING!
48. How would you describe your giffing style
I don’t know??? If someone else has a way to describe my style, then please let me know haha
49. How much would you say you’ve improved since you first started giffing
It’s been almost 9 years since I’ve started, so I hope I’ve improved quite a bit! :P
Well, that was fun. Congrats on making it to the end of this post!!! Now I will go make a gifset.
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annakie · 5 years
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I’m up to “42″ in my Doctor Who rewatch.
Between rewatching the show and still making my way through my blog’s early days when I was yelling at a lot of people who tagged their Martha Jones hate back in the day, I’m definitely back on my Martha Jones bullshit.  (Sending love to the 2011 - 2013 Martha Jones Defense Squad.)
Out of curiosity, I went through the Martha Jones tag just now, to see if all these years later the hate is still that strong.  I was pleasantly surprised that I went back through a year’s worth of posts and saw one post that was negative about Martha, in March. Compared to what we used to see back in the day, it was mild.  Now, I have many hundreds of people blocked on tumblr, so it’s possible I didn’t see something, but to see so little Martha hate was really nice.  I mean there were probably only like 300 - 400 posts made in the last year, but considering the tag used to be like 20 new posts a day and at least five of them would be hate, that’s not too bad.  But hey, there’s a lot fewer people on tumblr, fewer people watching Doctor Who (especially when no new episodes are airing and won’t be for awhile), and I feel like the people who are still here are probably an older demographic now.
I was watching the first handful of Martha episodes yesterday while browsing my early-ish blog (I’m up to mid-2012 now) and man it was annoying to see so many posts I’d responded to (or reblogged other people’s responses to) about Martha.  Some of my “favorite” reasons people justified hated her:
She “doesn’t know how to think”
She’s “a cliche”
She was soooo ungrateful to the Doctor
She was very insensitive leaving him when he needed her (doesn’t matter if her family needed her and she needed a break, how dare she not cater to his pain!?!?)
And of course, the ones that just called her a bitch, stupid, useless, ugly, a moron, a slut, and hey someone even stooped to the N-word.   Yeah, every single one of these are things that were said and I replied to in 2011 / 2012.
As I’m scrolling through my blog, I sometimes go and check out the tumblrs of the people who made these assertions and they’re almost always deactivated/deleted or at least inactive. You know, it’s tumblr in 2019.  This place is a shadow of its former self anyway.  I’d love to see if any of these people’s opinions have grown or changed.  There are several people in the Martha Jones tag who say “I used to hate her, now I realize how bad that opinion was”, which is nice.
In general this trip down memory lane as of late has been enlightening.  I really don’t feel that different about Doctor Who than I did back then.  I still enjoyed Rose as a companion and appreciated her relationship with the Doctor -- I never hated her, it was always a matter of a small percentage extremely obnoxious fans discoloring feelings towards the character.  I am still loving Martha Jones and hating how the Doctor treats her.  I’m looking forward to revisiting all the things I still have coming up.  
A few recent observations... I still couldn’t sit through Fear Her, had to skip over it by 10 minutes in.  Love and Monsters is 35 minutes of a pretty great episode and a last 10 minutes spoiled by maybe the worst villain in DW history.  Mickey Smith is a Goddamn joy and people who hated him were just as wrong as the Martha haters. Jackie and alt-Pete’s first meeting in Doomsday still made me cry. Martha Jones is amazing from minute one.  I almost skipped the Daleks in Manhattan episodes, which I think are the only truly bad episodes in her season, but sat through them anyway.  I liked them more this time.  Still not great, but this was maybe the first time I actually understood everything that was going on.  Still, penis-head human-dalek was.... nope. I’ll never understand what they were thinking with that design.
Doctor Who, these early episodes especially, is still a wildly uneven show, with brilliant and cringe-worthy things in every episode, often in the same scene.  It’s still frustrating at times, there’s still things that make me cheer out loud, want to scream at the TV, and occasionally cry.  But it’s still good TV in as much as it really works hard at making you feel.  I still get why we were all obsessed it way back when.  I think it’s a show that shaped modern fandom in more ways than most people would want to admit.  And hey, even if I’m not obsessed with the show liek that anymore, I think the most recent couple of seasons have been damn good, overall. 
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stayatsam · 5 years
Note
re: pliskin i can send you receipts abt their shitty kinks and the artists they follow but im a minor, i only know that bc i stumbled across their nsfw by accident. its all still up though it just might be hard-ish to find bc they post like every 10 minutes but they rarely every delete anything. they try to excuse following pedo artists bc they "cant understand what they're saying" (bc they only speak eng but the artists dont) as if you have to... read art? but. yeah sorry for the ramble
yeah dw about sending me it! im taking a scroll thru their blog using the search function for red flags and im just uh WOW this is not great
they were asking me about commissions i really dodged a bullet there thank you so much
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boutiqueload725 · 3 years
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mayorwhiskerss · 6 years
Text
Face Shading Tut!!
This is gonna be Rambly cuz im like that but this is how ive been doing my face shading for the past few months ;0 i use ps but this also works with gimp cuz thats what i used to use!
first off load up your screenshot!! i’m using this one of my bby nix
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to delete the background, i go to “select > colour range” and get rid of the green (i do 200% bc its green but if you have white you might wanna have it lower). then i do an unnecessary step of deleting that, then selecting my cutout sim AGAIN for the next step. i think it makes a difference but idk. then i go to “select > modify > contract” and contract by 1-2, then “select > refine edge” and make smoothing between 3-10, and make feather 0.01!! click ok, ctrl+i to invert, and delete!!
THEN i mess with the values. i go to “image > adjustments > brightness/contrast” and turn the contrast up a TON (about 64 for this specific image but just eyeball it!) and then do “image > adjustments > levels” and play with the levels (sometimes i use curves depending on sim). again just eyeball this but i usually up white, push black a LITTLE, and push midtones a little more >:3 i like the high contrast but really you can do whatever you like
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NOW I START MY HIGHLIGHTS! for this u gotta. think about lighting, and your sim’s features. which parts would stand out more? its similar but slightly different for each sim!! 
select a light part on your sims face, such as the inner eye corner, and make it lighter and less saturated in your colour select, make a new layer, and then go to town w ur highlighting! dw about checking the colour yet, i just deal with that afterwards ;)
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! this only took me a minute, and it doesnt have to be perfect!! i smoosh this all around with the smudge tool and make the transitions soft and make the shapes better, then gaussian blur it a lil! after that, set the layer to soft light, make colour corrections in hue/saturation if needed, and adjust the layer opacity! in pic 4, i realised i didnt quite like the cheek highlight so i smooshed it some more ;3
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for the shadows, i just do the same in opposite places! select a darker spot on the face, like just under the eyes or under the lip (not the nostrils omfg), make it darker, and sometimes SLIGHTLY less saturated. saturation is hard but its okay we can play with it later. then its the same steps! i find this one varies more for different sims! especially w cheekbones.
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wrow glamorous.........make sure 2 pay attention to features a lot! nix is half taiwanese so she has less pointy features + less shadows :0) i do the exact same steps as before next, but make the layer hard light!
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as u can see, i didnt get the saturation quite right but thats okay!! but do remember that you do want your shadows to be a little saturated, otherwise they’ll look dirty.
HERE’S SOME QUICK EXAMPLES OF HOW I’D SHADE SOME OTHER BBYS OF MINE!! just 2 show the differences i guess?
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FINAL STEP + my fave one. just some eye shadows!! v simple. just draw some black under the eyelid, smudge it around to make it soft, maybe blur it a couple pixels, you can change this to soft light if u wanna but usually i just leave it on normal and lower the opacity a bit, and ur done!! cool moody look!! comparison time:
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you dont have to do it as dramatically as i did, and it looks rly nice when you have soft shading, i just like the ~drama~ and ofc these are a lot of steps and it takes a hot minute (sometimes i even do more than this these is just my BASIC steps vygubhnj), so you can adapt and change and do whatever you want! at the very least i hope it gives u some ideas or bits to steal ;)
NOT THAT LIKE I’M EXPECTING ANYBODY TO BUT IF U TEST IT OUT FEEL FREE TO TAG ME!!! i wanna sEE
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alyndra9 · 7 years
Text
SPN Big Bang Masterlist
Ever wonder how many big-bang-style challenges Supernatural fandom really has?
Various people have compiled various lists and posted them in various places. Trust me, I have a list of these lists. Everyone also defines the parameters of their search a little differently. Personally, I chose to look for past and present SPN Bang challenges, and then I made a spreadsheet with info about each bang. There are 70+ entries on it.
I included big bangs, mini bangs, reverse bangs, and the herculean mega bang. I did not include other kinds of fic challenges, such as gift exchanges, flashfic or drabble communities. What makes a bang a bang?
Well, it should have writers and artists all paired up and collaborating on their works. Usually there's a claims process, but the important point is you wouldn't just sign up, write your fic, and post. Most challenges will try to get pinch-hitters to fill in if either the author or artist drops out unexpectedly, but even if this doesn't happen it can still be a bang as long as the intent is that everyone gets paired.
That said, often my criterion for inclusion was more like, "does it have bang in the name?" So speak up if there's anything I missed but should have included, or anything included that doesn't meet the definition, or if you just think my definition is whacked.
Size: the original Big Bang community, a Harry/Draco innovation, had a minimum fic length of 40,000 words. This rapidly started dropping as Big Bang challenges proliferated. Each challenge is free to set a minimum wordcount wherever it likes. Although there is a lot of variety in minimum wordcount thresholds, there seems to be a fairly settled line around 10,000 words: a min. 10k wordcount can be considered either a big or a mini bang, depending who's running it, but any wordcount below this is almost always a mini bang, and above it is a big bang.
And then we get into the rarified heights of the mega bang, which, according to the SPN Mega Bang community, is over 100,000 words. (A smaller community has one for over 50k.) Mega bangs are unique to the SPN fandom so far; if anyone sees one in future, holler!
Reversebangs reverse the usual order of affairs: instead of writers starting off and artists choosing stories to work with, in a reversebang artists draw first and then writers choose which art they'd like to write a story for. Minimum size for a reversebang is generally smaller than a regular big bang.
The Friend Bang is unique because you start out paired with a friend and both write and draw for each other. The collaboration bang is an experimental format tried last year by the Sastiel Big Bang where artists and authors are paired up right off the bat and create simultaneously.
(An interesting idea to try might be a doodle!bang. Artists are perennially in shorter supply than ficwriters, even as wordcount limits keep going down. Setting up a low-pressure experience — maybe suggested 10-minute doodle — probably as a reversebang, could encourage artist participation.)
Couple more notes about what did and didn't qualify for inclusion here:
There are any number of multi-fandom bangs as well as bangs for other fandoms. In the interests of getting one list completed, I skipped including these, even though many (perhaps most) multi-fandom bangs would have SPN fic written for them.
In order to be included, a bang must have completed a round productively or else be less than a year old. Older bangs which never got off the ground are included in this list here. One exception that merits honorable mention in my list is the slackers bang, whose mod posts tell their own tale.
If a challenge's home page has been deleted, then inclusion rests on whether I can find fic/art for it, for example an AO3 tag. If you show me fic, I will include it in my list.
A note about schedule dates I've included: I deliberately tried not to get too precise. Challenges may or may not be regular from year to year, and schedules may be adjusted. Always check the bang page if you're interested in a challenge, rather than planning based off the dates in this! This is just to give a general idea. Some will certainly end up not being what I have down here. Links are to sign-ups open as of when I last checked. The numbers before months are just there to enable sorting by month.
The latest round column is the last year in which a round of fic started being posted, for dormant communities. If they're doing a round in 2017 it should say 2017. Occasionally communities will skip a year or three and then run another round, so dormant may not mean dead! Communities with a history of this are marked ongoing, but may not have schedule information posted.
Eventually I would like to replace the "year started" and "latest round" columns with (There are now) columns for each year which contain links to the masterposts for each round. Here's a resource with links to masterposts, in the meantime! for other fandoms. ETA 3: Done! Numbers indicate fic/art pairs for each round, plus scattered unpaired works. Mods who put in the labor to make masterposts, I love you and you get cookies bold font. Mods who tally their entries to spare me counting, you totally rock! Asterisks: because Sheets throws fits about more than one link in a cell, an asterisk means Intrepid Reader should exercise their detective skills to find all the fics; for example, by clicking to the next month on a LJ calendar. Note about calendars vs. tags: often there will be a tag for each round. However, I link to the calendar or archive rather than the tag, if I can't find masterposts, because I can't know if everybody tagged properly without doing a ton of cross-checking, and I don't want to miss anybody. I'll link to tags only if I'm assured they're complete.
Also, if you are a mod (or civic-minded citizen) who has shiny new (or old but well-hidden) masterposts for previous years, please do link me up!
“Main” and “wing” should be self-explanatory. (They were shorter than “Primary” and “Secondary.”) The “Other” column could be any site challenges are hosted, but right now it’s all Dreamwidth (dw). The numbers in the AO3 columns indicate how many works there are in each tag or collection. Keep in mind that tagging and collecting is up to individual authors, and therefore neither the tag nor the collection is likely to represent all work for a challenge, nor will they necessarily consist of the same works. Check challenge masterposts for complete works. Here’s the tag collection for Big Bangs on AO3. I’m sure there are tags and collections on AO3 that I haven’t yet found the links for, but I’m still on it! ETA 2: I’ve now looked at all 641(!) collections with Supernatural in them. Unless you named yours “LMNOP2″ or “Drabbles Comm: Socks” and didn’t include a description, I should have all Bang collections up in the Doc. (Stray tags may still crop up.)
My Google Spreadsheet of SPN Big (and otherwise) Bang Challenges!
Anyone can comment directly into the document or contact me with additional information or suggestions! Feel free to link to this from anywhere you like as well. Note that there are a couple new challenges with author sign-ups closing TODAY, August 31!
ETA: Fun with filters!
The awesome thing about speadsheets is that you can sort all the data any way you like! Here’s a quick rundown of possibly-useful information.
Even if you don’t have editing privileges on a Google Doc, you can still sort columns. It won’t permanently change the doc or impact the way others are seeing it if they’re viewing it at the same time as you. All you do is mouse over the top of a column where it says “A”  and a little arrow will appear for you to click on. So if you’re an artist, feel free to sort by ‘artist signups,’ or if you just like reading everything as soon as it comes out, sort by ‘posting starts.’ The default way I have the Doc sorted is first I sort by ‘status,’ then by ‘writing signups,’ then by ‘latest round.’ This means that the doc will be sorted primarily by the year of the latest round, then by the month writers should sign up in, then by status.
I renamed challenges which haven’t yet gone a round from “new” to “virgin,” not just for amusement, but so we could have an alphabetical list: Closed, Deleted, Dormant, Hiatus, Polling, Ongoing, Virgin. Is that not sweet? You can sort by that, or alphabetically by name, etc. Play around, have fun, and when you’d like to go back to the standard view, just ‘X’ out of the dark gray filter bar.
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asasaraatsigit · 7 years
Text
Trips and spills the tea tbh
everyone who knows me knows I don’t do drama but when it comes to no apologies for wrongdoing and accusations on my character i ain’t chill w that. their username is entirely unreadable along w pic so dw. 
Commence under read-more if you’re into it, if not, I get it, drama sucks. 
I feel honestly v offended rn bc anyone who knows me since I started RP knows I hate stealers of OCs and info and pictures. It’s what I’ve dealt w FOREVER SO. 
Person who had a Greenland OC I’d been following for a bit had decided to do some research. Improved a lot! I was happy for them, barely even noticed their Green looked like mine. I was excited they were into it too. (NOTE: The changes that looked like close to iil (so they think I guess I see a lot of differences personality + looks wise but ok) were done like. It had been 5 days. Notice I’ve had Iiliit look like this since 2012 when I made her.....And I have tons of commissions from 2013 to now.) 
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My thoughts: Oh!! They wanna talk about Greenland w me yay ok this is cool ^ ^ I’ve been following them a while I’ve seen their progress in the past two months this is chill. 
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My thoughts: Ok they wanna know when I made my OC are they suspicious or something...? Maybe they’re insecure I get it I have had that too! (Also i lied bc iil was always dark skinned but the first version had white hair lol.) 
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My thoughts: Oh geez the dot dot dot are they ok did I sAY SOMETHING WAIT. I must threaten them maybe they’ve seen how long I’ve been around or whatever omg i used to feel jUST LIKE THIS....So I genuinely felt bad like I was serious complimenting her changes it looked much better than her old Greenland (who was pale and white) I was happy for her. I used to be super insecure going looking after every Green w paranoia who looked similar to Iil or had similar traits but I let it go bc it was petty and dumb.
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My thoughts : Ok well she’s not too talkative but y’know.....I’m glad things are cool keep going w your Green!
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My thoughts: In all honesty I can’t lie and even my dad noticed bc I was w him going out to eat. My heart dropped like a rock. I felt really hurt by this bc I had never in my LIFE stolen another character, traits or looks......and I’ve had it done to me a lot. So I was like, idk, I thought they wanted to discuss our characters, not basically accuse me of theft? 
BUT this next part is why I’m spilling this bc it rly annoyed me a lot. 
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My thoughts: Well I have proof from 2015 on my Instagram my Greenland looked like this back then AND also proof from erinivoq-archived my old account which was my first ever account goes back to 2012 which I wanted to share. I genuinely thought “ok I’ll give her proof I get she’s upset.....” And I was blocked. Which hurt more bc.....I know I didn’t steal and she thought I did and I really really hurt,,, Like I’d been following their progress they’d been following my cat posts it was mutual. I wanted a good happy ending. But then 10-15 minutes passed and I was unblocked.
But like. No apology. Nothing. I never stole. I never would dream of it. 
I even posted this to my account after like here’s good proof post from 2012 and one from 2015 of iil. 
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But yeah, I may delete this later. Just wanted to get it out off my chest bc I legit couldn’t even enjoy my lunch w my dad I was legitimately hurt we couldn’t get along bc she thought I stole from her.....like i get the initial thought but when I say I have proof I’m blocked? It just made no sense. 
ok y’all anyways I have finals coming up sorry for long dumb post lol i’ll see you guys in May. I wanna get K’unerna up and Iaaku and Iil working. 
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loveinruins · 7 years
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Am I in denial?
We went out last night to Bond.
It was me, G, AC, MT and JP.
So he wasn’t going to come out because he said he wasn’t feeling well and just come to dinner but he ended up coming out.
I went and picked him up from his house and he took forever to come out,
We he came out, I had some butterflies I’m not gonna lie, he looked like a cute farmer lol he was wearing this Ralph Lauren red white and blue checkered shirt with jeans and I didn’t look at his shoes.
First thing I noticed was his cologne when he got into the car. it was different to what he normally wears and it was so nice. He gets in the car and was like ‘hey thanks for getting me’ looks at me and goes ‘you look nice’ I said thanks obviously - inside I was like damn straight I look good, I was wearing a black chiffon low cut top with my american apparels and gold mamacita hoop earrings as he calls them. He takes a deep breath in through his nose and goes ‘you smell so good’. 
He cracks open a vodka of some sort and hands it to me whilst I’m driving and I’m like umm drink driving? he goes yeah dw about it its low in percentage anyway. He then asks about my day and whatever and told him what I did whilst on the way to get AC. 
I pick up AC and AC asks what did I do today and I started to tell him and then had a mind blank and I go G I forgot what did I do again today? G you tell him he goes are you testing me to see if I was listening? I laughed and said no I actually forgot and he told AC what I did and I was like oh so you were listening and he goes of course babe.
So we get to MT’s catch an uber to souk, get to souk had something to eat had a drink, JP met us there. We had a bit of banter at dinner and then we get to bond bar at about 10:30. I bought us all drinks to get it started and then the boys bought shots. I saw V for a bit she was there for work and I told her to get us into the booth and she was like yeah I will and then disappeared. 
So we were having a good time whatever then G and MT go off for a chat for what felt like 2 hours but realistically was prob an hour.
Finally when they came back we were starting to sober up a bit and then V pops up and said come to the booth so off we went, we were drinking a fair bit.
He was dancing with me and when I would sit down he would grab my hand to get me up. There were a few times where he would push his ass into mine and I do remember slapping his ass once lol.
As the night goes on he comes up to me and goes ‘your cousin is wild when she’s drunk’ I go why he goes she came up to me like this and goes ‘hey baby how are you?’ and I go are you serious? he’s like yeah..
At that point I felt like I needed to sober up because I knew 
1. I had to look after V
2. I didn’t want things to get OOC
So V is doing some seductive dancing and I see him looking at her and so was AC and I was like greattttt..
It gets to around 3am and he goes when do you want to leave I’m starving? I go whenever I don’t care and he goes to V let’s go and she goes 5 mins so he puts the timer on his phone and goes ok done. 
5 minutes is up and we leave, so as we’re walking out JP leaves to meet her bf and the rest of us needed to catch an uber.
This is when it all started to go downhill - I felt anyway.
So AC was taking advantage of the situation that V was drunk and he was like all over or whatever and as we’re walking G takes a snap and I go nooo delete it and knock his phone out of his hand into a girls face and she cracks the shits and his phone fell and i was like omg I’m so sorry about his phone and he was like full checking it to make sure there was nothing broken and I go if I broke it I would’ve replaced it obviously and he goes nah nah it’s fine.
When we were standing there waiting for the uber he liked pulled me and MT or V in I can’t remember in and goes I’m so cold and either V or MT walked off and it was just him and I there hugging. It felt just really nice for him to be a bit affectionate with me but I know this is all just friendly dw I’m not taking it the wrong way because he has made it loud and clear about how he feels towards me.
So we’re like standing there talking and not sure how but the topic goes to V’s phat ass and I see him like checking out her ass and him and V were talking about her ass for a good 10 mins while I’m talking to JP and I’m not even paying attention to JP because all I’m thinking to myself is is this cunt fucking serious right now? So whilst I’m fuming because sober V would’ve not tolerated this I said to her in teo chew shut up V and she goes what che? are you mad at me? I’ll leave if you want to. I just didn’t want to add more fuel to the fire so I just left it at that.
Then the uber finally rocks up and I get into the back of it hoping he would get in after me and he did. So him and I sat in the back, V and AC sat in the middle and MT in the front.
We all had a bit of banter in the car on the way home and when we get back to MT’s I jumped into my car and dropped AC, G and V home. AC and V get into the back seat and V lies down in his lap - so weird because I know AC is gonna get the wrong idea.
And of course I was right, I drop V off first and as soon as she gets out of the car he goes your cousins cute af and I go ok and he goes she’s such an LG and I go dude stop and he goes why are you so overprotective over her and I go because she’s like my baby sister.
G decides to chime in and goes yeah V is cute she reminds me of like a little kid I just want to pinch her cheeks like this and he pinches my cheek.
Anyway as I’m driving he’s singing and I go shhhhh and put my hand over his mouth and he licks my hand. I was like ew wtf did you just lick my hand he goes yep and AC was like oooooh and G goes bro no.
I was like lol cool you fucking weird fuck, seriously.
I dropped AC off and go to drop G home, he was like I’m surprised how well you’re managing and I go why? If I can drive home with no contacts on after stereo I can do this and he goes you wear contacts? I’m like yeah he goes yeah that’s right you wear glasses, why don’t you wear glasses, they look good on you, I like you with glasses. I’m like really? He goes yeah and I just made something up about how they don’t sit well on my face but realistically I just don’t wear them because I feel like it hides my face and my eyelashes.
I can’t really remember much else except for him sniffing my hoodie and when he got out he goes thanks for dropping me off and hugs me in the car and I’m like no worries.
He then messaged me again as I was driving to say thanks which was really cute.
SOOOOO
Maybe I’m in denial like maybe I’m 80% not 90% over him because JP was like we need to find G a girl and went to talk some random girl at bond to hook him up and I felt sick. Even when she said we need to find G a girl - I was like umm no.
I dunno his actions are so confusing, again I’m gonna try to not read too much into it but yeah I just needed to get this off my chest because I just think he wants me there because he enjoys my company and knows that i’m genuine esp him saying there’s not many girls out there like you..
Sighhhhhhh
This might sound crazy but I’ve never felt like this before about anyone and it just feels right when I’m with him but the timing is off. I think I’m just in a different headspace than him so maybe it’s just my perspective but I just want the universe to send the one my way pleaseeeee - I feel like I am ready.
Anyway, all I can say moving forward is the focus is on T and on how T can be the best version of herself.
Speaking about myself in third person is so weird.
Alright it’s 1:11am gtg, night xxxxx
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