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#idk. i guess im just kinda sad bc this month has been really hard. i made it hard for no reason bc theres something wrong in my head and
opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#looking at the notes ppl in the lab let me on my birthday card. it seems ppl think i should chill the fuck out lmao#a lot were like RELAX!!! and ya kno objectively theyre right but i refuse to listen bc theres something wrong in my head#sigh. i survived the day at least. the timed measurements r done on this experiment. thank christ. and my birthday gathering as so#i dont kno. it was kinda funny and kinda sad i guess. bc i knew it was gonna happen and i didnt want it to but i was like fine. ill meet#at 4. and i expected it to b in the conference room but they set up outside the lab around the corner. so they did kinda surprise me#location wise i guess. i cant imagine what expression i was making. it felt like a pained smile but idk. i had to go back to take#measurements every 4min so i was standing there with a plate full of ice creame cake. kinda away from everyone while they talked. staring#at my phone timer as it ticked down and abruptly leaving when i had to log a measurement. i was basically a non entity while there. which#was kinda idea bc i have too much hurt inside to talk to ppl right now. as evidence by my phone call with my parents when i got home. im#just kinda a bummer to exist around rn. idk maybe i should apologize to my boss bc i kno im not an easy person to do things for#and i really do appreciate the effort. its just hard when i kno how much stress its going to cause me for someone to attempt to do#something they think will b nice. so idk i just feel bad. but its over. and idk what ill do tomorrow. i should do stuff for when i move#like my dad was like: u should prioritize ur future stuff. and hes objectively right. they think i should get a studio apartment which#would b expensive as fuck but i will destroy myself if i have roommates. idk. theres lots still to do bc i have to get a ton of data#processed by the end of the week bc i have 8 days of measurement on another project that needs to get done by may 14th when i leave for#vacation. which my mom was like did u buy ur tickets for next month and i was like. hm how do i ask where im supposed to buy tickets to#without giving away that i dont kno what ur talking abt? bc apparently im going to a wedding? wtf do i wear to a wedding?#idk. i guess im just kinda sad bc this month has been really hard. i made it hard for no reason bc theres something wrong in my head and#that hurt has nowhere to go bc i cant even give anyone an honest account of how awful it was bc its like what r they gonna do abt it?#anything i say is just worrying bc i cant seem to stop myself who whats the point in talking abt it. but idk humans r social creatures so#when im in pain at least part of me wants someone to brush my hair and acknowledge my pain and tell me itll b ok#but idk. the idea of that happening is different from the reality where i seem to opperate at a different frequency to other people. we#just dont seem to properly connect. idk. idk what ill do tomorrow. im afraid to loosen my grip on my schedule bc i might fall to piece#pieces without the pressure. well see. lets home my 26th year is better than my 25th was. bc last year sucked#hope* lets hope that was my low point. bc that was not a fun time and im worry to take account of thr damage done#unrelated
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girlwithfish · 1 month
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its kinda crazy he smothered me like loll. feels so stupid and lame recounting the same story over and over nothing changes. but i still dk how to process that. some days i feel ive made more peace w everythin and dont feel as strongly and some days like today its more difficult and i think being tired and today not being the best kind of set me up for being more emotionally low abt multiple things in my life. as well as maybe need to stop reading peoples real life stories on reddit abt their abusive male partners bc its more triggering for me than i thought but its hard not to read them :/ idk its just crazy how someone can do something that vile towards u even when you are crying and begging them to stop and saying you cant breathe. literal psycho shit. and i was gaslit for however long into minimizing it even tho deep down i knew it was fucking wrong and i resented him for it but i was treated so dismissively and not taken serious my pain wasnt ever considered so after it happened i was just trained into suppressing it not telling a single person about it not even journaling privately about it just carrying that awful thing w me for idk how long. and i dont even remember when it was bc i didnt document anything mentally or literally and my mind worked so hard to suppress it i justndont have any recollection of when it happened. im guessing either 2023 or late 2022. it makes me angry and sad, and angry bc it is so unjust that he was able to control the narrative once again and determine that that was acceptable behavior and wasnt violent and extremely fucking dangerous too. Would sneer at me and tell me that wasnt smothering or make excuses and act like that isnt inherently Violent and terrible. and even tho i knew it was fucked i was just forced to go along w it even though i resented him for however many months for doing that to me and would bring it up and hed continue to deny it. like i wonder if he fucking remembers that now bc ofc there's been no apology for that specifically but i also have to tell myself i do not seek his validation or acknowledgment bc it is way too late for that and i had to unlearn the gaslighting and manipulation and dismissal and downplaying that he ingrained in me and insisted upon me on my own without him so theres no way i would need him to validate that act or that it happened or was messed up. but part of me still wants that bc even though hes given me surface level apologies and goes on abt his self reflection and discovery that could only occure after he got hit by a bus (enrages me that he now has empathy and some self recognition ig After a traumatic brain injury and months after the breakup) i still did not feel fulfilled by anything he said really. but he is not a person who i seek validation from or value his opinion or perspective at all anymore i never wish to see him or have him in my life again. you dont treat any person like that and yet he countlessly showed me he was okay with treating me violently and terribly and disrespectfully. it makes me sick tbh bc idk how someone does that so easily ur fucked in the head
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haeroniel-doliet · 1 year
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A lil updates and thoughts going on rn! Mostly about art again :') putting it under read more tho bc it got away from me again all rambly lmao
Hooo wheee! Life has been a little busy huh. Finally going to work again even if it is pretty much part time, other hobbies im keeping up with, trying to keep up on life admin and its going almost well! Shame im realizing i havent worked on my drawings in well over a month now 😅
Part of me is slightly dreading going back to them rn bc ive spent hours and hours on them already and they still need many hours before i post them....
You know that one guy on like tiktok/youtube shorts whos a really friendly old artist with a hobbit hole studio and does like 1hr paintings that look incredible? Obviously i dont expect myself being rusty and also not with years and years of experience to do the same but wouldn't that be the dream? To be able to just create and be done and happy with it in just an hour or a few and move on. How sad it is how many things i have started and not finished, outting in hours and hours where it doesnt really make even a super significant difference.
Also its that dinluke positivity week thing (god i hope this doesnt show up in the tag lmao sorry) i was really hyped months ago thinking its great prompts and great time to partake in my favourite fandom especially before february 2023 inevitably changes the scene in some way! But all of a sudden mid november is here and thats kinda terrifying! I have no clear idea for any of them, nothing im like desperate to draw and my current drawing doesnt really fit them either. Im thinking maybe i should try like, giving myself idk 2 hrs max to just make something beginning to end and if i hate it its ok i dont have to post it. But maybe i will and it could be fun! Sure i am too tired to properly do anything but idk, even making one post could give me excitement and hype for things i used to enjoy and something that isnt just real life and like job related.
To be fair i could also go for the much more guaranteed dopamine boost and play a video game ive been thinking of playing again for months. Sure i dunno which to choose and im not like super inclined to anything even tho i would like to play multiple of them again, just playing alone is a little boring i guess.
The more i spend just overthinking the quicker my sunday will be over and ill have to do next week and god knows ill be busy!! I should try drawing bc its there floating in my mind and could be easier to slip in into the day routine to do a little here and there rather than like, playing skyrim for 30 mins loll. Or oblivion bc for some reason ive been missing it. Or battlefront, even tho that is really hard to play without really trying my hardest and getting readjusted to the pace of it
Alright ok im gonna set up my digital art stuff, im gonna challenge myself to sketch something on theme for all the prompts and see what ends up catching my attention. If i can do 1 or even a couple of them thatd be really really neat!
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elektroblues · 2 years
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hello!! Idk if you've already done sth like this, but your three favorite DM songs (or anything between 3 and 10 :^)) and whhyy? 
HELLO!! <3 i'll do top three bc i love talking on here and i have such a hard time articulating how much these songs mean to me so i end up rambling but then i also hate talking so much ahah so
1. Stripped
- i mean this so sincerely but this is one of the best songs ever in any genre i literally never get tired of it. STORY TIME. i was 15 and my most most most fave band at the time was rammstein and on one of my trips to wikipedia i read that the only time till sang full english on a song was for a song called "stripped. then i found out it was a cover (but at this point i knew a few dm songs, didn't think much of them though), but i also could't listen to it then and there bc i was in class lol soooo i just looked up the lyrics and my jaw dropped. at that point i didn't care much abt my music taste but when i read mart's lyrics oughhbgbghg he's just like me fr. and i guess i gotta say it reminded me of "to you" by walt whitman (and i was in my walt whitman phase i fear) so that was a bonus. then on the jeepney ride home i got to listen to it and my jaw fucking dropped. the synths just blew me away!
for a while i just listened to the og and rammstein's cover back-to-back and didn't think to delve much into dm. then about a month after i turned 16, "more than this" by roxy music was my fave song (ALSO A RLLY GOOD SONG) and i found this yt playlist with it and 'stripped" and some other 80s songs. i used to binge those vids every night so that also started my love for 80s music ig. anyway i watched he mv for "stripped" and i went that one guy's kinda cute i guess 🧍‍♀️ AND THEN THE FUCKING. SYNTH PART WITH ALAN'S HUGEASS FACE BEHIND DAVE HAPPENED and i was like ah fuck. anyway that same month i saved my first picture of a dm member, which was alan, and then i hadn't been normal abt them since sjfmsbdjhdej so stripped is the song that started it all! :D
idk i just love it so much ☹ when i go a few months not going insane over dm then come back to this song and the video, i still get butterflies in my stomach it's sick (ok that's probably mostly bc of alan but still shbfjjdhd). but it's also so comforting. i think it's one of those songs where no matter how i'll grow i'll fall in love with it again and again. it's just this song just has so many nice memories attached to it <3 wouldn't know who i'd be if i hadn't heard it
2. The Sun and The Rainfall
- this one just make me really happy i never get tired of it too <3 i listen to it on repeat literally whenever i feel extreme happiness or sadness and no in between. idk idk it's just such a cute little song??#,=,#?' i have a soft spot for it esp since ppl (the very wrong ppl on dm reddit for example SMH) usually dismiss it and abf bc alan wasn't involved but like, it's a great testament to dm's early potential and charm and anyone who dislikes tsar is WRONG AND DOESNT KNOW WHAT LOVE IS. and im gonna be so basic for this but, "you're the one i like best, you retain my interest" is my fave dm lyric 🚶‍♀️ don't tell anyone except the ppl who happen to click read more on this HDNBDNJSKHDDJ
3. The Things You Said
- first time i heard this was also the first time i watched 101. i was sitting outside our house and when i heard the melody i cried PLSDNDBSMDBMDHSJD it was nothing like i've ever heard before fr synth music was making me Emotional those days (me when i lie, it still makes me cry lol) bc before dm i mostly liked listening to rock and whatnot. it rlly was just a nice night, me listening to dm by myself outside. pretty uneventful experiece but i still look back at it fondly. plus the 101 performance —mart's DIVINE vocals, alan on the synth and bg vocals making me insane, THE BISEXUAL LIGHTING— is just UGH. CHEF'S KISS.
i didn't proofread this so 😭😭 also p sure i cried to all of these at one point lmaooooo
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misqnon · 19 days
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hi its march! my anon name changes with the months /j
ok thats fair if u didn't have a guess. maybe it just felt really obvious to me because i am... myself...
its hard NOT to ship op characters. they all have such fun dynamics!! hannyabul and magellan is like.. im being silly when i say i ship them,, but also they ARE kinda real boyfriends to me.
its such a shame when ppl ignore the silly side of zoro. he has a few extremely wholesome, adorable, fun moments with luffy in wano and.. yeah ... im excited for u to see the interactions they have. add that to the list of things i am excited for!! lol. do the 3 dangly earrings signify he uses 3 swords??? i Never noticed this but if so... thats genius?? either way they r so pretty and in wano they zoom in on his earrings multiple times and show them like . waving in the wind or something idk. its so .. i love it. one more thing im excited about LOL
IT *IS* THE SILVER FOX LOOK!!
HELL YEAH.. i honestly am not a huge fan of the wci arc. i really disliked it the first time i read it but i think there r a lot of things that contributed to that. i couldn't remember a lot of the story from before, i started it in the anime and then switched over to manga at some point so it was a bit of a jarring difference, i have complicated feelings about sanji, and i was really sleep deprived when i was reading it. it was super difficult to get through cuz it just felt like everything dragged on and on.. so when i was rereading i was really dreading coming back to that arc and having to slog through it again. but actually it wasn't that bad. its still nowhere near being a favorite for me, but it does have a lot of good moments. anyways i think u will have a much better time than me and im looking forward to seeing ur reactions!! (as usual)
dragon: "i miss my husband, sabo. i miss him a lot" /ref
one of the sanji tiktoks is actually extremely topical considering what arc ur on so ill probably send it when ur done with wci!!
i watched the scene u sent and!!! robin puts her WHOLE SOUL into that "i want to live!!!" i dont remember the japanese version that well tbh cuz its been so long since i watched it. so the dub is probably what i will remember when i think of that scene now...
i wont kill u for liking la luffy.... because i havent watched it yet LOL. i might end up agreeing with u (although tbh i doubt i will,, i tend to be more fond of things im familiar with). i like edgelord zoro but its only when he has a healthy amount of silliness to go along with it :( im very very sad to hear he isnt nearly as goofy in the live action. ive seen a few moments of him joking around but.. i miss u silly guy... i miss u....
live action usopp seems like he has more rizz than anime/manga usopp (forgive me for using slang. i have been told it sounds really odd when i do bc it sounds like an old man using it LOL). i think that is a very interesting choice!! cuz i love usopp and i do think hes really charming and a lovely person,, but i feel like him having 0 confidence in himself is so important to his character?? but he seemed like he was an enjoyable character to watch so maybe i shouldnt get too hung up on it.
tongue piercing doflamingo is canon to me too 🫡 its very fitting considering hes always doin something with his tongue
straw hat crew supports and encourages sanji to explore his gender because at the end of the day their friend is their friend and gender doesnt matter
im glad i didnt spoil anything phew!!
i will accidentally influence u to like law more. just like u influence me to like sanji more. tradeoff /j
penis death... yeah... penis death.... i love it.. its so insanely funny to me. penis death. also i find it funny that he seems to have a milder reaction to chopper saying it compared to luffy. like is that his soft spot for the cute reindeer showing?? is it bc theyre both doctors?? idk i like to analyze his relationships with the straw hats..
im procrastinating on the tierlist (im actually very busy irl with moving) but i will no t forget to send it,, i swear!!
u probably have turned on sending images in asks but i do this on my phone and im also.. kind of a tumblr noob.. so i dont know how to .. i will look it up. or just send the tierlist (when i make it) in a separate ask on my computer.
in terms of favorite characters we have in common: link, sesshomaru (i still haven't finished inuyasha. its been .. 10 years or something), kagamine rin (although tbh i like len more (im not actually that into vocaloid.. just a little?)), crowley, robin, doflamingo
i do know a lot of the characters on there but havent actually consumed the media theyre part of to feel super attached to them. i have too many things i plan to watch/read/play and i just end up not doing any of it LOL
i will keep trying for sure 🫡 ive been drawing a lot more recently. because.. im hyperfixating on anime characters. did i already say that
im pretty sure that any characters that have black eyes oda just makes them brown whenever their eye color is visible. and similarly, the anime just makes anyone with black eyes have grey or white. i dont know if oda has thought abt most of his characters eye color,, or if he actually does just plan for them all to have brown eyes. but headcanoning crazy eye colors is more fun imo!!
the anime notoriously does NOT know what colors things are. my favorite guy law has grey eyes in the anime and theyre gold in the manga.. which is devastating!? cuz gold is way more interesting and fitting and... yeah. i will forever be upset abt that. if they're gonna whiten all the characters to such a crazy level why cant they change the eye colors that are objectively WRONG (following manga canon)
brown is a good choice for luffy!!
i also love nami having brown eyes. they're pretty!!
grey definitely does work for zoro!! idk hes pretty no matter what.. and i cant clearly picture any color for him. i think most muted colors would look good
usopp having brown would look good too!! i was trying to think of the characters color pallets when i was imagining their eye colors and tbh hes worn a lot of brown so.
YEAH i saw that colorspread n that was why i was like . . yknow what... brown eyed sanji.. bc he looks very pretty there tbh. to go on a bit of a tangent, im kinda a blue eyed hater because my whole family (outside of my dad) has blue eyes . I've seen too much of it.. its boring. my mom has literal baby blues tho theyre so bright and. yeah its.. its striking.. its cool. its interesting. but the rest of us just have regular blue eyes. theyre dark and kind of grey. its too boring!!! and . therefore.. brown eyed sanji.. brown eyed sanji is best .
i am so .. i miss robins early design .. they kept her blue eyes (which again.. are objectively wrong according to manga canon) but they just had to make her like. the palest member of the straw hats. i love her having blue eyes so im not complaining that they didnt fix it but its like ... why did u fix one thing and not the other... i find that very frustrating. i wish they had just kept both her skin color and her eyes LOL. also cowgirl robin was so cool 😢
franky with pink eyes is SO GOOD??? tbh no matter what eye color he has i think it should be bright and vibrant
thats what i was thinking too!! the purple goes with his color scheme.
no worries abt not being able to reply <3
dressrosa is by far my favorite arc!! and then next i think is wano, egghead (the most recent arc), and impel down
those are my absolute favorites but other ones i like are arlong park, syrup village, punk hazard, sabaody/post war/return to sabaody, marineford (this would be another absolute favorite if not for the fact its so painful), whatever arc zoro joined in, drum island, skypeia, and.. controversially i do like fishman island despite also finding it a bit boring
i also rly enjoyed the reverie (it counts as a separate arc on the wiki) this one is apparently directly after wci.. i can never remember when it takes place chronologically. theres not really any action but i dont even care... i dont read for action
people dont like post timeskip one piece as much for some reason? its confusing to me bc almost all my favorite arcs are post timeskip.. im loving the focus shifting to the whole world.. and i love reading about huge world events. and i love theorizing about things. its all very fun
its really hard to choose just a few favorites LOL. i keep wanting to add other arcs i really enjoyed . augh.
what are YOUR favorite arcs :o
hello!!
no u’ve put me on the hannyabul and magellan train now. its my new otp. sorry. u did this
YEA HIS 3 EARRINGS ARE FOR HIS SWORDS!! and yes im. so excited for so MANY wano moments (that i know of but havent been completely spoiled for: everyone in beast pirate disguises, zoro and luffy reunion (+ everyone else ofc!) sanji’s raid suit and subsequent Germa Angst, THE ZORO / SANJI DEATH PACT??. DEMONIO FLEUR!?!??! (GOING TO LOSE MY MIND AT THAT ONE) AND MORE. and if theyre gonna be animation zoro’s earrings like that then damn. i got even more to look forward to on top of tht
i like wci but mostly for the sanji arc. i dont care much for the setting (although the alice in wonderland insp is cool!) and i actually love pudding but the fact she’s apparently 16 puts a bad taste in my mouth every time she’s on screen. it doesnt feel like its dragging on yet but as much as i do wanna continue i keep not having the motivation bc i know i still have quite a bit to go through vjbjfdkn. im glad u enjoyed it more ur second time tho!! (katakuri….gotta get to katakuri at least)
NOT THE DRAGON ROBOTNIK QUOTE JCCNSDKJN “i miss my wife tails”
and yes…YES……SANJITOK/…
HELL YES IM SO GLAD U WATCHED THE ROBIN SCENE. SHE DID PUT HER WHOLE SOUL INTO IT. FUN FACT I WATCHED A PANEL OF THE VOICE ACTORS ON YT AND THAT WAS THE FIRST AND ONLY TAKE . INSANE
yea the opla is so fun and a great ride but like anything it has its problems! although im still just amazed that it somehow seemed to break the live action anime curse and be the only one to do so with moderate success and yet it adapted. probably one of the hardest and longest anime to adapt ever. like how. do tell me if u watch it!! 
jacob is just too hot to play usopp is the issue- KNDFSJSKL /HJ. it’s definitely still played as fake confidence but its a different flavor of it for sure.
and yes beautiful. gnc sanji my beloved. transji my beloved. sanji forced to lipsync for his life by iva my beloved
i am completely ok with this character influencing btw. tradeoff initiated. i actually saw a law post and thought of u the other day!! i was gonna send it to u but i was like i’ll wait for the next letter…so here
idk if this is fanon or canon a lot but ppl say law has a cuteness to weak animals bc of bepo. robin core
THATS ACTUALLY SO FUNNY BC IM IN THE MIDDLE OF TRYING TO MOVE TOO AND AM ALSO BUSY FROM THAT JVBFJD
omg tumblr noob…i’ve been on this damn website for more than 10 years 😭
slay im glad we have some in common >:^) inuyasha was my first actual anime! and sesshomaru my first anime crush…wow. love that guy. [don’t watch the yashahime sequel. i dont wanna talk abt it 😐] and thats valid i love both the kagamine twins!!
i havent had time to draw but man…i draw like. in my mind. u know. i…i think about things…i COULD draw…that counts right,
i agree! i was surprised no one has asked in an SBS but i know it HAS to have been a question so maybe he has a reason he isnt answering??
I HEARD HIS EYES ARE GOLD IN MANGA WHICH IS SO FUCKING COOL?? GOLD EYES ARE MY ABSOLUTE FAV IN CHARACTER DESIGN!! and god. yea. yea. like oh okay you can get the colors wrong on everything and not change them to be right but u can make usopp whiter than a sheet. ok. i see how it is. they even lightened CHOPPER FOR PETE SAKE???
im not a blue eyed HATER but i definitely prefer brown eyes. as a brown eyes haver im pushing back on the blue eye supremacy with spite ‼️
dont even get me started on post timeskip robin. biggest downgrade. like at least franky is still himself and can change his hair and his face is still franky. someone else worded it best in saying oda took away so many features that made robin’s character design recognizable and unique that she feels like a completely different one. APPARENTLY robin was never supposed to be tan and anime assumed that too, but idc if u keep the blue then keep the skin color…its like. blatantly just colorism there
omg…DRESSROSA WAS VERY GOOD! that makes me think…hey have u seen this video . made by the same editor as the last one i sent u also…that makes me so excited to move forward. AND MAYBE ITS JUST BC IM GAY AS HELP BUT I LOOVVED IMPEL DOWN !! 70% FOR THE NEWKAMA AND 30% FOR CROCODILE
i didnt think fishman island was anywhere near as boring or badly paced as i heard. it was literally fine imo. not my favorite but not bad! except um. fishman island sanji can burn pls stop making me hate my favorite character (THOUGH I STAND BY RETURN TO SABAODY SANJI BEING WORSE THAN FISHMAN ISLAND. AT LEAST HE WASNT SNIFFIN PPL WHAT THE *FUCK* WAS THAT]
and i defintely see the post-timeskip haters points sometimes. there’s less time spent with the characters just. getting to interact and chill- partially bc the anime doesnt really do filler now but also partially bc now the crew is so large that oda never writes them all in one place. theyre always splitting up. and also the obvious things like robin getting sidelines and her design change, zoro is less silly, overall there’s less lightheartedness (although at times i can appreciate that). but the thing that bothers me most is it feels like oda got more brave with the off color jokes and sexualization and such. it was there pre timeskip (esp starting around thriller bark) but post timeskip its just like. sexualization and perv jokes are turned up to 200%. and yea im bitter bc sanji got worse in that aspect (although i actually prefer his post timeskip design! i like his stupid little goatee and his new suits/outfits are very nice! and his character development has obviously. gotten some spotlight) but damn if they couldnt give that to some of the other crew members too! though i digress. and ur right- the arcs and story HAVE improved and been super epic!
hmm..i think my favorite arcs would have to be [as of where i am currently] water 7/enies lobby, impel down, and dressrosa. whole cake will probably be up there when i finish it just bc of it being the My Guy Arc.
help im running out of one piece questions…uh…uh…any other strawhat headcanons? about anything!
p.s. i saw this and it made me laugh so hard
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randombubblegum · 2 years
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Hey so i kinda have a sad gay life advice ask,,,,, feel free not to answer for any reason ofc, but there was this girl i was best friends with for a good seven years, since childhood, and then around September she just.... Stopped talking to me? I mean we were seemingly fine over the summer, going on trips together and acting close and normal, but once school started i guess she just didn't want me around any more? And tho i know that what i felt about her wasn't quite platonic, idk if it was romantic or what, but i really, /really/ loved her, for years. I cant exactly stop seeing her in my daily life bc we're still in school so thats not fun, and we're both going to be counselors at a camp this summer so whenever i see her or think about that i feel like im going to throw up. But anyways, now ive felt like shit for seven months straight and it hasn't been improving. I keep trying to just get over it but i keep wondering what i did wrong to make her be so disgusted with me all of a sudden. Sorry for dumping or being whiny in your askbox, but idk any gay adults irl so idk where else to ask this. I guess im really saying, any advice on how to get over first heartbreak? Sorry about this
oh this is so sad…… im so sad for you :( im sorry this is happening to you…… im not sure if this will help or make you feel worse but its a really REALLY common shared experience among gay girls to have an intense and emotionally charged friendship with another girl growing up (that may or may not be lowkey romantic) that one day falls apart out of nowhere in a dramatic or upsetting way….. its literally sort of a stereotype just because its something weve basically all gone through?? it happened to me LMAO and its happened to legit every gay girl i know…… so this is a very normal rite of passage almost in growing up and being gay….. im sure that doesnt offer much comfort now but just know youre NOT alone and basically everyone else has also had this friendship
with that context being laid out tho….. its definitely not anything you did or didnt do. i really doubt shes “disgusted” with you….. sometimes these things just happen between friends!!! you having feelings for her isnt disgusting or dirty or a betrayal or anything like that, its totally natural :( its entirely possible or even likely that shes been struggling with similar sexuality issues and theyve sort of spilled out into the air between you two without ever being put into words.
i know its hard and you probably dont want to, but i would really recommend talking to her about this? even just a text like “hey, are we cool? i miss talking to you.” or something vague could open a door, since shes definitely just as aware of the distance between you two as you are. she might be relieved and happy to talk to you again or have the ice broken so yall can talk it out….. who knows!!! you dont need to assume the worst, these weird distances happen between friends a lot and sometimes all it takes to solve it is pointing it out.
no matter what happens with this friendship tho im sorry youre feeling so heartbroken and bad but it WILL pass :( i promise. it might feel like the end of the world now but no matter the outcome youll be okay again, and youll have a happy first relationship someday and this will just feel like a funny bump in the road. im rooting for you :’)
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kachinnate · 3 years
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long venty post abt rehearsal making me Sad today :’^)
sighs so i’m one of the leads in this 3 act show, it’s a small cast of characters and our first act is naturally the Longest but we haven’t ran it in like... weeks lmao and not since our soft off book week started, so running it today was like.. lowkey a bit rough 
we have a student director and a stage manager, the stage manager is supposed to be on book to give lines as per norm etc etc, but the stage manager has been like.. gone for the past few weeks for w/e personal reasonings, so our director has been givin lines n stuff and today was SM’s first time doin that instead.... and Oh boy 
like as a person she’s already kinda [offputting] and [cold], and i remember before she had her leave she was like... weirdly adamant in knowing the script better than the actors did?? which like for things like [set] and [blocking] sure ig whatever, but she was trying to tell us things about the like.. story and reasoning behind actions we were supposed to make as if we haven’t been the ones studying this script for the past like over a month 
anyway, she was being like... really rude whenever me and my scene partner called line today? and wouldn’t just give us the line, she’d give us some fuckin offhanded comment like “ *making a big deal out of not knowing where we were at* .. well [name of my character] skipped this whole part at the bottom of pg 54 lol” and id have to repeat like ‘‘,, okay well can you just give me the line at [wherever] then’’ which like is just frustrating and already takes me more out of character than just calling line does.. and naturally her being a way everytime we tried to call line just made me and the scene partner uncomfortable calling line so we’d stand there for longer and fuck up lines we did know and i made eye contact with one of the other actresses sitting in the audience several times every time SM said anything to me because she was just being like Vehemently rude and it was very clearly not just a me being sensitive thing lol 
said actress told me she was gonna say something to the director when i came to sit down for a five, and then immediately pulled her aside, and then the director came back to pull the SM aside and i like immediately started ~sobbing~ bc it’s not that deep i know it’s mostly bc the actress saw me like [on the verge of tears] on stage several times that things had to be said and :’^) the director came back and like gave us the natural “you guys are doing great this is a long and hard act im proud of all of you” speech and then asked if it’d be more productive to keep going or to shotgun lines instead or to just call rehearsal and i ended up just opting to leave bc continuing to run the act was Going to give me problems 
i learned later (as of the last like half hour actually) that the SM was bragging to one of my mutual friends that she like.. learned the entire show in just a week and just like i’m so Upset bc for 1 that is just like.... Bullshit lmfao like i refuse to believe you know every single person’s lines in a 3 act show i Saw that you were reading the script.... but also like weird flex?? good for you i guess ???
i know it’s very much Not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things and im disproportionally upset about it, but like.... idk college theatre has been sort of a [safe spot i’ve been working on] given the events of like how fucking bad and toxic people were to me when i did theatre in hs, i’ve only Just Now been getting back into the hang of things and starting to be comfortable acting and ive been making a lot of good process and then shit like this happens and it’s just so.... weirdly triggering :’^) something about being the only person crying with everyone looking at me reassuring me that i can indeed Act like makes me really fucking sick to my stomach
and just like.. idk i can’t do theatre as a major so im really [hanging on] as much as i can to it outside of that context so things like this just Hurt a lot like i’m losing out on this one thing that i’m going to lose in three years time and am never gonna have again (despite knowing that this is not True necessarily) idk ksgnjdskgj [flops] top ten kayla upset over things that are not That serious moments
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vanityloves · 3 years
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anyways im gonna listen to/read the fuckin...rise of the ogre shit bc ive been putting it off 🪓🥴 im gonna put stuff under the cut bc im gonna be TALKING n dont wanna make a new post everytime
piss
ok he performed for 2 pounds 50. which is basically $3 today i- well it was absolutely a power play on his father behalf that also had the promise of money so.
also lol he said Rejection fueled my ambitions which, yknow,, i already knew but it still hurts and i will continue to talk ab it xoxo
AH HELP. "...if ebay had been invented at the time he would've sold me online there and then,"
"man hands on misery to man, yknow"
THEN PROCEEDS TO CONNECT IT TO MUSIC/HIS CAREER. this man said :) the one thing i truly have a passion for. the one thing i fucking like.
oh yeah. bullied by students AND teachers.
oh god hes 42ish during this interview? ok.
the fuckin school bully saying he wouldve acted differently if he knew what hed become
getting called "faceache", then proceeds to call 2d that. jfc he really does just repeat what everyone says. really "treating others how i was treated/how they treat me"
maybe thats why? hes kinder to fans? bc :] you support me and like me so, ok ill return that energy
MURDOC GETTING HIS ASS BEAT N PARADING HOME LIKE WELL I WON BC 'I PISSED YOU OFF' SJDJD
a real rowdy boy. absolute nasty boy. fraud and arson... shooting ppls windows with his air pistols
black sabbath being a huge inspiration? fucking absolutely.
became a satanist n shit at age 16? "it fitted me like a glove" "heavy metal and devil worshipping became my favorite past times" ajsj funny that ppl in trying times often seek religion or following of some sort
heavy metal being his favorite, n loving the clash, while hannibals was more punk based
hannibal breaking murdocs nose for the 2nd and 3rd time for playing his music on hannibals turntable
he doesnt sound that bitter? ab hannibal? he doesnt sound incredibly fond but he talks ab how he got him into a lot of music. so, i imagine they we're a bit closer than i thought?
international baccalaureate in antisocial? anthropology?
MURDOC IS ACTUALLY SMART HE WAS JUST. NOT INTERESTED IN THE SUBJECTS? I GUESS? (also,,, he literally Built cyborg noodle and i think he had a PhD too lol. but its always nice to hear hes actually...yknow, interested or good at other things)
alright but murdoc having a fascination w/ other cultures - or at least some interests, that lead him to actually study the damn subject and "pass with flying colors"
'fuck college though. im gonna be a rockstar'
he sold his soul at 18ish? whenever the fuck he got kicked out but college was mentioned so my brain goes to 18ish idk
he lived with his father still and paid rent via low paying jobs one including 'part time dressing as santa'
help he was ab to take a Personal Job for quick cash and uhh well, "still made me call him sir though" he really said 20 dollars is 20 dollars, huh "that story was totally true"
alright, 1997,,,
2d stuff
loves zombie stuff? thats really cute, and is freaked out by the way they move. god he rambles
both he and murdoc are horses in the chinese zodiac
[[jfc ok if the official shit compares them a lot i understand why ppl ship them but Dont. its a narrative foil and that doesnt always mean Romance jfc.]]
SUMTHINK.
truly... a lil stinker. super cute bouncing baby and a "bit thick" which is stull so endearing to me. hes just a happy man!
excitable 10 year old and would dance around his room
jfc the fact he has normal/caring parents. i kinda forget how opposite hes supposed to be from murdoc but i think thats another thing jsjsysg (murdoc said why isnt my tragic story making me famous why does he get to be the Star. no wonder he acts like a loon)
i still dont get how gettin bonked by a tree branch made him go bald and also turn his hair blue
big tiddy nurse mommy,,,
went to the same school as The Cure and got decent grades despite hittin the noggin quite hard. WANTED TO BE A STORM CHASER... OMG??
oh thats really cute, hed bond with his dad by building keyboards toegther 🥺💕
messed around with paints and graffiti? artistic king
MURDOC AGAIN: QHDJ 'VILLANOUS' GANG HELP
oh yeah d day...new instruments, new band, new singer - and 'had to be the best or no dice' and absolutely CONFIDENT that his songs were bangers ajsjd
but on that same note, had absolute faith (or desperate) in 2d which i love
ransacked the fucking music shop jdjdj and 2d said he was Just Standing There behind the counter the whole shift hdhdh
"thats when your eye came out, yeah" "yeah!-" HELP WHY DOES HE SOUND SO HAPPY AB IT ?? yes he said ut hurt but he sounds...ok
jfc murdoc ragdolling this poor mf around. dunking him and slapping him around. actually? so incredibly terrible and abusive and i hate him for that 🔫 im sorry 2d stans. we dont condone that behavior here ong.
how and why the FUCK did 2d's parents allow that fucker near their child after that i??? help. wtf. his moms a nurse why didnt she just have murdoc sit in plain view of other people. god damn.
2d flying out the window n hitting the curb "whoops"
"just two black holes...[ah] it looked great...a blue hair, blacked eyed GOD- the girls would go wild-" "pretty boy looks" ???? HELP. HE DOESNT GO LIGHT ON THE COMPLIMENTS, HUH
RUSS TIME
oh yeah, he straight up kiddnapped this man help. idk how he managed that, russ is a Big Man??
AND MURDOCS MUSIC WAS SO FUCKING SEXY GOOD that russel said hm alright ill stay, :] out ifbhis owm free will im screaming.
"oh this is one of them febreeze commercials" "uh . yeah sure. *murdoc turning on his Sick Tunes*" but that either means? it was just his guitar playing the convinced russ? unless he and 2d recorded sumn?
"2d was the looks, murdoc the brains, then russel truly was the heart"
'while 2d and murdoc liked music, this man was a MUSICIAN' god fucking bless this book holy shit ny man russ getting some respect. he said back hurts from carrying this band.
murdoc basically heard this guy had big trauma that gave him So Many Skills n said "thats what i want" ok idk thats actually really? inch rest ting to me. seems that murdocs fine handing out compliments but i guess that where his charisma really helps out yeah?
"he was going to be in my band whether he liked it or not" ...murdoc-
HELP. 2D IS LIKE BRO GO ON IM LISTENING 🥺 despite hearing the story 50-60 times and murdoc said fuck off you lil shit.
ok irrelevant but i love his voice! its super comforting n nice to listen to 🥺
HELP MURDOCS SO BITTER. "NOTHING THAT HAPPENS TO US IS NORMAL" WELL YEAH. THIS IS TRAUMA CENTRAL.
idk how/why he sucked up all his friends souls though ... how are they all possessing the same person. they said "its my turn on The Russ"
DELL IS HIS ACTUAL, LITERAL SOULMATE...KING...😭
went to a private school,,, and was already possessed? and the thing where he gets bigger and smaller is a reoccurring thing?
was in a coma for 4 years?
hiphop machine...time and history...the ultimate set i guess.
his knowledge was infinite and hes a "Renaissance man" hes so fucking smart our king. jack of all trades but a master of drums. he said i know im good and what of it
PAULA.
HELP. HE RMBRS THE STALL: CUBICAL NUMBER 3 🥴 IF I DO RECALL 🤤
yes russel our king. fuck up his nose 5 more times. probably stunted his growth too. he shrunk after russ gave him a wallop im sure
why dies paula sound like tracer overwatch
also only dated 2d for 2 months before joining the band?
HELP SHE REALLY WAS THE FIRST MURDOC FUCKER: "but when i saw murdoc with his thick greasy hair, green teeth and yellow skin i thought 'oh this is the ine for me!'" "OH HES SUCH A DANDY-" HELP ME IM HQJDHD
sick in the head...like i want to hurt people help girl. shes fucking Crazy. but she rly said damn i didnt hear back from him again 😭 and my purse is gone JSHHD
MURDOC: SHE WAS DEPRESSINGLY UGLY *still fucked her*
NOODLE TIME
"small japanese person!"
2d: we werent gorillaz until noodle arrived!
im dying the reason he chose gorillaz. 'swinging through the jungle baring my ass'
noodle really said "im just happy to be here" and she balanced everyone out 😭 "she gave off pure love and the fact that she could laugh at murdoc REALLY helped too" RUSS... IS BABY
JFC MURDOCS SO FUCKING CONFIDENT IN THIS BAND IM LIVING FOR THAT. HE SAID YOU WANT US SO BAD IT MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID. THE CHARISMA
2d rambling ab some girl he met and "ssSs" "whats the s stand for hawhaw" "i dont know!".
THE RECORD LABEL GUY.
one song is all it took i ❤ good for them
just murdoc talking ab the party that they threw for thier deal and saying "you dont know how much of a dick i felt like [when carrying one of those huge checks]" like oh thats whatll make you a dick? alright.
A FOOD FIGHT THAT WENT SO HARD THAT IT KNOCKED 2DS TONSILS OUT? WHAT THE FUCK
ahshdj damon and murdoc not getting along bc of Rival Band One Uppery + damon calling murdocs cuban heels crap since ge wore steel ones with gold spurs.
MURDOC FEELIN EMBARRASSED BC HES 'QUITE PROUD OF HIS SHOES'
but the band and damon getting over music and their ambitions and became a "paternal figure"
HELP MURDOC SAID AWIOGA @ RACHEL WHICH MADE HER THROW HER DRINK IN HIS FACE AND SPLIT FROM 2D. kinda sad actually, she said i still like 2d but murdoc kinda ruined it by trying to get it in with me, it put a strain in our relationship :/ oh god murdocs That Dude
nov 31 1998: started recording :]
40 tracks that got cut down to 15 holy shit
KONG STUDIOS 🤲
hooking up cameras in every room ejdjsu
webby artist of the year in 2006? holy shit
noodle learning ab kong studios omfg
JFC. YES I KNEW KONG WAS BUILT ON/IN A CEMETERY BUT I DIDNT KNOW PPL FOR THE FUCKING PLAGUE WHERE THROWN THERE HDJD
built in 1739?
the ghost of the first owners ghost still roams around in the kitchen in the early hours and moans 'aaa glass of water'
theres some rotting bullshit near the studios and in the summer its fucking TERRIBLE
the former owners were a biker gang, and they all died in a fire
murdoc said this place has bad vibes. i want it.
grim weather
the building feels impossible to escape from huHgg
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billhaderlovebot · 4 years
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willy mclean hcs
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ah yes. it is time for another hannah and molly headcanon extravaganza. we've been thirsty for this hoe all damn week. @gazebros
you think you know willy the first time you meet him properly.
in fact, you do know him.
you've seen him around, verbally abusing pool-goers and smoking pot on his breaks.
you've never crossed paths other than the one time you asked him where the toilets were and he blew smoke in your face.
but the first time you meet him properly it's kinda an accident, in that you weren't looking for company.
you'd just broken up with your extremely long term boyfriend that week.
u have a child together.
it wasn't a toxic relationship and it didn't end on bad terms, and you loved each other very very much, but you both agreed that you'd grown apart and you'd be better as two seperate people.
plus, you needed to keep it cool between the two of you for the sake of your son.
nonetheless, it was a bummer.
you were the only one left at the pool, and it had long since closed. you'd been sat on the side, watching the ripples and ignoring how cold and dark it was getting. the only source of light came from the LED's on the bottom of the pool.
and willy came out of the weird room thingy he sits in while people are swimming.
"we're closed, man."
probably the biggest joint you've seen since college in his hand.
"yeah. sorry. lemme get in on that, though."
you reach up to take the joint from him and he shrugs and hands it to you.
"you good?"
"just broke up with this guy, um, we've been together since... i don't know, fuckin, forever. im sad, i guess. he's staying with his mom."
"oh, worm. i can get my bong."
and you don't know why you find yourself telling this random guy everything.
but you talk and smoke for hours.
willy is like a breath of fresh air.
you can't remember the last time you'd laughed until your ribs hurt.
and you've told each other like
everything there is to know about everything
and in this moment you actually feel like nobody else knows you better in the entire world
even though you've only been talking for like four hours.
by the end of the night you're basically sat in his lap.
you're so close that your lips almost touch when you light another joint and pass it between you.
and you hear his breath hitch
and his eyes are dark.
"your ex didn't give you syphilis or anything, did he?"
"no. why?"
and then suddenly his lips are on yours and he's holding your face in his hands.
and all you can feel is him
and its Perfect.
and he's warm and soft and you fist your hands into the front of his stupid poncho
and you have to go back to your apartment to fuck because he doesn't have one oops.
and you get there and you apologise for the mess because you've not been in a good place lately.
"dude i live in a fucking pool don't even worry."
thus begins Friends With Benefits.
the best sex you've literally Ever had in your life along with the best weed and the best 4am talks and a guy who talks to you like you're a normal fucking person for Once.
Willy McLean E*ts P*ssy.
you pull his hair sometimes
nothing extreme jus a light tug yknow
but it drives him Insane
he Loves It.
he doesn't dirty talk a lot but he's very vocal. like he's not one of those guys where it feels like you're fucking an ice sculpture. he actually like makes noise.
and tells you what he wants.
so it's just u guys hanging out and fucking for like a long time. and it's good. it's great.
no commitment or anything it's pretty chill.
you go off the radar a few times a week to spend time with your son, who's currently living with his father until you get your life in order.
one night, after sex (it was during the shining bc that movie is Long so y'all jus ignored it n Got On With Things) willy is watching you sleep.
he's watching you exist.
he just watches you for the longest time.
his heart melts when you subconsciously shuffle closer to him and bury your face in the crook of his neck.
and he realises that the feelings he has for you run deeper than he thought they did.
he realises that he might maybe a little bit love you.
maybe.
you're so strong and you would do anything to protect your kid and you're not afraid of looking stupid and you make him laugh like nobody has ever made him laugh.
also the sex? 😔👌
he thinks you're probably the most wonderful human being in the whole world.
you didn't plan on introducing willy to your son.
because you didn't think it would ever be anything serious and therefore not have an impact on his life.
but it had to happen at some point.
and one day he gets in your car and there's this lil curly haired toddler in the back in this lil car seat.
"uhh. we have to go sign him up for preschool."
you'd forgotten it was almost august.
willy is really nervous because he's sure he smells of pot and he doesn't really know what to do around kids.
but elias is surprisingly quiet and he giggles along to whatever dumb shit you and willy are talking about in the front seat even though he has no idea what you're saying.
willy falls even harder for you when he watches you ruffle elias' hair and kiss his head.
and elias really likes willy's poncho.
and when you get to the school and the secretary starts gushing about what a cute couple you and willy are
willy Loses His Mind
and he's about say something
but you're like "thankyou so much!🥰" and take his hand and the paperwork she gives you and drag him into the waiting room.
"wh-"
"we are a cute couple."
he pretends not to notice when you don't let go of his hand for the rest of the day.
because you fuck and have been fucking for a while but this is Soft.
and you pretend not to lose your shit when willy picks up elias and you look at them both together, giggling like idiots and realise that they're all you need.
a couple months later, when the pool closes for the winter months, you realise you haven't seen him in a couple days.
which is worrying, since he lives at the pool um-
and so you go there
n he's just
jus sittin.
"hey, babe."
"hey, where have you been?"
"just around. come sit."
and for a minute it's normal. you're talking and laughing so hard that your sides split and kissing (ft inappropriate touching)
and it gets a lil cold and he puts his obnoxious knitted poncho over you.
and he looks at you for a bit.
and you barely hear it when he whispers
"i think im in love with you."
and oh
oh fuck.
of course.
and you love him the fuck BACK
but he takes your stunned silence as rejection, mumbles some garbled apology and stands up to leave.
you run right after him, though.
it's something straight out of a romance movie, he thinks, when you spin him around by his arm and pull him down to your lips by his collar.
"i love you too. so fucking much, will."
that night you invite him to stay over.
"isn't elias staying with you right now?"
"yeah. he misses you. he keeps asking about the poncho man idk"
when he wakes up the next day after watching two and a half hours of paw patrol with your son (he kept him entertained, seeing how exhausted you were, and allowed you to nap.) you're not there.
he heads into the kitchen where you've sat elias down with a bowl of cereal and you're dancing around to whatever's playing on the radio.
and he sees a box of his stuff next to the couch. everything he owns. you must've gotten it from the pool while he was asleep.
"what's going on, baby?"
"shit, yeah, um, you're moving in."
his heart explodes
and he's trying so hard not to cry
at the concept of having a home
and with you, nonetheless.
he's sure he's never been so in love.
but he cries anyway, when your back is turned, when he thinks you don't know.
he Loves You.
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lucatorahaven · 4 years
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vampire au post
4 skype convos haphazardly mixed in from very different times
[29/11/2014 4:27:51 AM] Probably Not Assorted Cheeses: Vampire au
Lucas the incompetent vampire who eats mostly animals
Duster was the one who bit him, only bc duster was literally starving n lucas came at a bad time
idk if duster should be born a vampire or not but Wes is one too and together they taught lucas how to survive.
however eventually they had to leave, they offered for lucas to join them but lucas can’t leave his family behind, the kid’s too sentimental :’(
so together they staged his death (which im too lazy to try n think of)
claus knew bout the vampire thing tho, lucas couldn’t live alone like that. He also ended up biting Boney in an accident so hey vampire dog.
claus grew up and eventually had his own family. Lucas could only really watch from afar but then the kids got his age and it was hard to see him and keep the gig up. He visited his parents funeral anonymously and afterwards him and claus stood there just
“sup” “how’re the kids” “twice your age and with kids of their own” “heh, i always thought you would be the one with kids yano?” 
it was very bittersweet, it felt like they’ve never been apart 
“it never stops feeling strange without you” "I know” 
lucas thinks of that conversation a lot
he started off the "younger uncle" then the "weird neighbourhood kid that visits grandpa claus" and inevitably the "weird kid from nowhere who goes to the cemetary every other month to put flowers on graves older than appears to be"
SO without attachments lucas traveled with boney, hoping that they find duster along the way.
eventually lucas comes back to tazmilly but it’s been a couple hundred years now and it’s completely different so he doesn’t recognize it
n lucas one day is caught outside with no shelter, it’s almost morning so he runs into osohe (which is way outta town so he assumed it was abandoned)
vampires can’t enter homes without being invited in because apparently homes are holy land but osohe is fuckn haunted so that doesn’t apply (adding on to the abandoned theory)
that’s how kumatora and him meet, she finds him exploring osohe all “wtf the fuck who are YOU...this me house”
So she gets an awkward lie explanation from lucas 
n she eventually catches on lucas is a vampire n is just DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE I NEVER MET A VAMPIRE BEFORE FUCKN SWEET
lucas is just UM.;;; IS IT OK IF I STAY
"oh dude it's cool!! but u gotta tell me bout yourself bc i never met a vampire before ok?? i live iN THE PERFECT GOTHIC HOME BUT THERE’S NONE!! but here you are and i’m JACKED i gotta go to work tho so brb but afterwards u gotta tell me about yourself ok CYA"
lucas is still processing everything by the time she leaves, but he’s grateful and figures a conversation is the least he can do to repay her
in this au kumatora’s into cryptology bc her house is FULL of books and it’s a common subject (also the fact her castle is filled with ghosts and there are zombies just across the moat, it’s a p convenient hobby)
when she comes back she’s super excited because he’s still there 
lucas is kinda reserved but he still answers questions bc it’s POLITE
she asks bout p much everything?? “HEY do you need that” “y-yes” “is this true?” “not that i know of” “ok experiment time” “uH;;” “wait am i keeping you up?? it’s still daytime” “no it’s okay” 
after exhausting lucas of all his Vampire Facts kuma invites lucas to live at osohe castle, it’s big enough anyways
lucas is wary af bc he doesn't wanna accidentally get close to someone who 1. has a life span and 2. is technically food
but lucas ends up sticking around anyways, boney really likes it and he lowkey enjoys her company
so they keep chillin n lucas tells her how he hunts animals n how he only takes a bit of blood so they don't die and 
IDK I GO BY THE THEORY THAT VAMPIRES HAVE VENOM bc otherwise their entire food source becomes COMPETITION n they can bite but not?? TURN THEM INTO ANYTHIng so controlled blood flow for feeding purposes
also vampires only need to eat once or twice a month? they die around 6+ months without eating from starvation. It all depends on how quickly the blood cells in their body die basically.
ALSO when they bite you it doesn’t hurt bc their saliva numbs it so (sneaky bites) but it still feels weird as shit
bUT YA SO LUCAS N KUMATORA CHAt a whole bunch...you know that “accidentally get close” thing i mentioned? it happened
(it was kinda hard to avoid when the first companion you have that’s not your dog is informed on vampires and vampire goods, that was convenient)
so they keep hangin out and kumatora unlocks his Tragic Backstory
n sometimes kumatora helps him feed? like they go out together finding animals n storing blood
n lucas is fascinated with how technology has advanced bc he doesn't really?? go into towns anymore but he fuckn LOVES it
n they play video games n general COOL FUNTIMES
kumatora let’s lucas borrow her labtop to occupy himself and he looks for other vampires or hints of them
(this is under the assumption that osohe can get electricity in a modern au while still being ignored / abandoned)
n when kumatora goes to work he cleans up the castle n tries to show how much hE REALLY APPRECIATES HEr
n lIKE i also go by the logic that vampires do not do the stereotypical “turn into ashes at sunlight” it is a slow progression that takes up to 12 hours until absolutely turned to a crisp 
so basically if he covers himself and wears a shit ton of sunscreen he can chill in the middle of the day for like...a hour or two
and bc kumatora's WORTH IT he visits her at work n she's all LucAS WHAT ARe yO U DoING??   
lookin like a modern goth kid......has a huge red burn on his cheek..
he blames it on how pale/blonde he is “my brother is ginger you know”
kuma gets super worried n he's all bruh it cool i have like..2 more hours until i need to go to a hospital   
n kumas jsuT I GET OFF IN 4 HOURS GO HOME
kumatora invites him to movie nights with her friends n shit
people start calling lucas kumatora's goth boyfriend “never call him that when he's around or i'll murder you”
theyre all rather cool with lucas and find his speech kinda funny?
"wow look at those teeny boppers" "GET A LOAD OF THIS GUY GOD I LOVE IT" “???????????????" kumas friends ask for lucas more all WHAT SCHOOL DOES HE GO TO WHERE DOES HE LIVE "oh he's......foreign B)"
eventually it comes up how lucas doesn’t really want to be a vampire anymore and kumatoras just “dude i can help you find a cure” bc maybe her hobby is a bit Excessive but live your dreams
but ya lucas is just?? constantly wants to visit kumatora n loves her night shifts!! visits all the time they go on hikes a lot n jusT? GETS SO FUCKIGN ATTACHED IT SCARES HIM CONSTANTLY
they sometimes fall asleep on the couch together n when he's all "wow shes so cute.." he realizes how fucking Deep he’s in this and he’s FUCKED
he tries to distance himself but he Can’t Fucking Do It (just like w/ his fam)
whenever he tries to push her away she looks so upset it kills him 
N HE'S IN SUCH A STRUGGLE BC HE'S JUST
SO HAPPY TO BE AROUND HER??????
N LIKE WHEN THEY CUDDLE N STUFF HE'S JUST SO OVERWHELMED BC oh my god heartbeats!! oh my god she's gonna die before me
n lucas really fucking feels the severity of how FUCKED he is when its her birthday n hes just
yes she's gonna age and he's gonna outlive her n they could never realistically be happy even if by some offhand chance she even RETURNS the feelings
N HE HAS TO HIDE HIS CRYING N STUFF BUT KUMATORA HAS  A 6TH FUCKN SENSE FOR DISTRESSED LUCAS SO SHE'S ALL bruh :( whats up
so he opens up to her about his feelings and anxiety and she hugs him through it, it’s kind of a shitty way to confess 
“idk if i can forgive you for deciding that i’m gonna die before you” “are you threatening murder” “that and no way death’s gonna get me, i’m pretty stubborn”
a lil while passes
“you know... i’m okay with becoming a vampire” lucas refuses bc dude.. you can’t even comprehend the weight of immortality.. what if she regrets it 
“to hell if i make my closest friend suffer because of a life span” “hah i guess that’s the same for me”
they drop the vampire topic for the time being and move on to other ones such as... mutual feelings :^)
they’re both romantically inclined i mean... lucas spent 300+ years being a hermit and kumatora had other things to do
so they take it slow, it’s p much the same as before except.. hey...now when i think “man i wanna hold their hand” i CAN
it'd also be really sad and/or cute if the ghosts in the castle some of them were lucas's family which might be why boney likes it so much but also imagine them kissin on the couch "kuma ghosts r there" "EH THEYRE JUst ghosts" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) claus looks into the camera "after so long... finally my little brother gets some action :')"
but idk if that’s a thing bc it feels kinda weird i feel like kissin n shit wouldn't b very often bc as much as they both loVE IT 
IT'S NOT THAT GREAT FOR A VAMPIRE
YANO.... HEARTS R BEATING... NECK IS RIGHT THERE (lucas still adores it tho)
so back to the topic of Mortality
kuma gets attacked in an alley on the way home from work
n lucas finds her bc they were gonna meet up but he smelt the blood and when he does find her he just goes FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK n didn't know how to save her 
also thinking rationally is hard when OH LOOK AT ALL THAT BLOOD AHhaHA
SO HE BITES HER
he carries her body home n he spends the whole waiting process between DEAD and VAMPIRE crying just "hoyl shti please work please work" “what did i fucking dooooo” “what if i was earlier” “what if i was too late” so many anxieties
kuma wakes up and lucas transistions from panic to HAPPY PANIC OH THANK GOD
she’s really out of it bc of the process and he’s crying apologies “it’s okay you saved me” but he’s still crying, they cuddle for comfort
"hey atleast we did it NOW when i'm a hot sexy 19 yr old and not a wrinkly old lady” “kuma” “i’m tryna make light of the conversation”
so now that kumatora’s a vampire she only works night shifts until she eventually quits. They moved to a new town / whatever so it was easy to avoid having to meet someone in the daytime. facebook helped keep in touch with her friends while still letting the friendship die out.
it took kumatora a bit to get used to being a vampire. she threw up a lot at first and she didn’t like having to drink blood but she did eventually get used to it
idk if they find a cure bc idk what the cure would BE but they eventually find other vampires :^) they continued lucas’s search for duster and probably found him tbh
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Hello again ☺️Yes, that would have been really cool! I already read two of your recomnendations and i love them so thank you again for sharing! I can understand you being unsure of your writing but i bet there are people who will love it. Judging from how you answer your asks and how much you love John i have no doubt that i would love it. But if you dont wanna post it anywhere i would completely understand too. (1)
Im glad i came around to like Root cause otherwise it would have been hard to watch season 4 & 5 cause she appears a lot. I think part of it is cause i watched it witch my family and my dad loves her so i started to like her more too (you know who you love sth cause someone else loves it?) and then eventually i liked her to. Shaw i loved from day one and i loved her sibling energy with John. The John and Shaw dynamic was one of my favorites. I love their teasing and their chaotic energy (2)
As for Shoot i think its kinda cool that the writers just went with it cause of the chemistry and i like Shoot a lot. John and Harold would be amazing too (i mean whats better than one queer couple? Two queer couples!) And there are some parallels between the ships so there was room for both of them. Eventhough Harold and Grace is cute too. And i feel John has chemistry with almost everyone (not always romantic chemistry but also platonic chemistry if thats a Thing 😂) and (3)
in Addition to rinch i also really liked John with Zoe. The only one he had zero chemistry with was the theraphist imo. That ship was just weird. I wish they would have used that time for more Rinch scenes instead. -- yes someone who agrees about the happy end! I dont understand people who wish for a sad end. Like John is my fave character ever and i just want him to be happy with his newfound odd family and maybe someday adopt a cute baby with Harold or become an uncle or idk just be happy (4)
But in my Imagination he didnt die and someday he and Harold retired and started their quieter Happy life with Bear. --- yeah poi Reddit loves the later seasons and hates the first and i noticed they can get a bit mean with people who dont agree (thats why i only read and never write anything). Also said you could skip most of S1 which is just sad cause its a great season 😔 i will accept that i lost validity (is this even a Word?) for liking Root 😂 also yea 4x20 is the ep with the carter hallucinations so check it out. But a warning: Root appears :D sorry this ask got so long, but i just love talking to you and i always look forward to your replies :)
Hi !! Happy to see you're back :)
Glad you liked my recs ! I think there's quite an amount of fics with suicidal John out there actually. Not that surprising since it's canon.
I appreciate your support ! In the long run idk if it's healthy for me. Like a few months ago I fell back into ace attorney and I read a lot of fics about Miles being suicidal and it affected me negatively. Sometimes I purposefully seek out suicide fics. And it may not be the most healthy thing to do. So I'm not sure about that fic. Bc I do wanna write it, but idk if it'd be healthy, as catharsis, or unhealthy, as rumination. I mean I've been writing that body horror fic with some projection of my body issues and it's fine. But yeah I'm pretty sure that if I ever finish it I think I'll post it – after all I posted a fic in which John jumped off a bridge a long while ago before I got suicidal (foreshadowing my own life here lmao). I also wanna try to work on my other wips
Yeah I see, that's understandable. Ngl Root makes me not motivated to get to these seasons during my rewatch (which technically wouldn't be a rewatch). It's wild how I feel nothing for Shaw (she do be kinda hot tho,,,, muscles,,,,,) but I think it's mostly bc I wasn't that interested in her back then and it's been so long since I watched the show I don't remember shit about her. She'd be able to grow on me I think. Yeah I've seen a lot of posts about that "mayhem twins" dynamic around here it does sound cool. Also it's refreshing to have a male/female relationship that isn't turned into a forced romance. But I'll always have a soft spot for S1 and its four core characters.
It's nice if they have chemistry, I didn't feel like they did. Yeah I'm still disappointed that they didn't go for Rinch too. I mean come on their chemistry is so painfully obvious ! I dislike the word queer but mood pls just give me canon Rinch I'm fucking begging hhhhhhh. I'm quite sure the notion of chemistry works with non romantic relationships as well. John is definitely good with people. He looks scary and brooding but he's just a good man who wants to help people ! I love him so much and same he's my fav character of all time !! Also I love seeing him interact with kids he's so good with them. But I also love when he's being an absolute badass. Damn I always forget about Grace gkjdfkjfd I don't have anything against her though, Harold and her are cute together. (Not much into the grace/harold/john OT3 tho, I've seen it around after return 0 but :/ not my thing. But hey good for people who like it.)
I liked John and Zoe too. Even if he had chemistry with Iris it's so cringe, didn't think poi would fall as low as portraying such a relationship between a therapist and a patient. Guess that shows the decrease in quality in the later seasons. Sad they did that shit when as you said they could have showed more Rinch. Like come ooon Rinch is just. Right fucking here. Just make it canon you cowards.
Yeah fuck sad endings (John didn't die obviously) I want my men to be happy and in love and live a good life together with their dog is that too much to ask. Like sometimes I read fics with MCD bc why not but most of the time I just want happiness. Fluffy domestic Rinch is so good ! Gives me so much life. I have a soft spot for married Rinch as well. Also while we're at it let me rec this domestic fluff fic:
Yeah not surprised. And you're right don't waste your time arguing on reddit lol it's not worth it. It baffles me when people say S1 is boring like ??? Where ?? There's literally soooo many eps I love in this season !! 📣📣📣number crunch is the best ep📣📣📣 Glad they stay over on reddit with their last seasons and their shit opinions about S1 smh. Like imagine being a fan of a show and disregarding the season that created the basis of the show and developed characters and relationships. Big brain time uh
I'm quite sure validity is an actual word, and that's how it be if you like root :/ I don't make the rules :/ you're the half valid anon now 😂
Oh well I shall endure root if it's a good ep ^^
It's cool !! I love your long asks !! I hope I didn't get lost in my own reply lmao
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mikeshanlon · 4 years
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iwwv anon and PHEW OK. I def did not expect that essay and now I feel bad cause I KNOW my thots r not gonna be articulate or right. nonetheless! i think Oliver does qualify as an unreliable narrator cause hes. very oblivious but not like... Richard papen (who is a whole ass clown don't get me started on tsh) but not like addy from dare me(I will support till the day I die that dare me is da like I WILL die on this hill) who sees what she wants to see. 1/?
i think he just... thinks that his friends r diff ppl than they actually r? that doesnt rly make sense but yea. what I mean is that everything the characters do is coated in that empathetic view Oliver has which is usually wrong? so we don't get an objective look into the characters. meredith is my girl like I love the hot popular girl trope deconstruction but at the end of the book she's not at a great place like she's w someone that doesn't love her like she needs to be loved... 2/
I guess the most probable ending is that James never meets Oliver again and that everyone is kinda stuck on what happened but that's soo sad and I really don't want to think abt it. ngl iwwv wasn't like my fave book ever and I really don't understand why people are so obsessed with dark academia sometimes but what i rly liked abt the book is that despite how fucked up everyone is and how toxic they r to each other they do at heart care abt one another...3/
like I rly liked that esp cause at that point the only other da book (other than dare me!) that I had read was tsh and godd every character is so fuckinh annoying and they all hate each other. i was super confused by it till I saw someone saying that it's satire and I felt my mind explode. I feel like this is so long but I didnt rly properly answer all you wrote sorry! I think its a pretty good book tho it has some crazy quotes like hold awn Im gonna look at the highlighted stuff on my copy.. 4/
Were you in love with him?” “Yes,” [...]Yes, I was.” It’s not the whole truth. The whole truth is, I’m in love with him still. LIKEEE PHEWW OK OK OK. WE OUT HERE. that line literally made me go crazy. I'm so sorry for any spelling mistakes or like general mistakes I made here English isn't my first language, it's 1am and I wrote this in the notes app w/o looking it over. so like.. NOT a professional review lemme tell you. 5/5
 Ahh im so sorry I did not see this before I yeeted for a month!!!
Oooh okay first of all dare me as a DA… I’ve only watched the show but like yeah I see the Elements for sure.
Also yeah I can understand what you mean abt Oliver being an unreliable narrator now… Ig my view of unreliable was more like they are purposefully twisting the truth or omitting facts or just literally don’t know shit but I get how personal bias can make the narrator unreliable. I do think the assertion that Oliver thinks his friends are different than they actually are makes sense. He sees James in a very positive light and though I like James a lot and think he is better than, like, Richard, he definitely has darker moments and manipulates Oliver at times (again I’d like to think it’s not the most nefarious thing in the world but like him just being shitty bc he’s in a dark place and he one, wants to do anything he can so Oliver doesn’t figure out he fought Richard so Oliver still thinks of him the same way/bc he knows Oliver would do something stupid like get himself arrested for James; and two, is very jealous that Oliver is with Meredith after Richard dies and has sort of a somewhat positive outcome from Richard’s death versus James being riddled with guilt and anger). And yeah, the probable ending is they never meet but I refuse to acknowledge that so LGNRG. Also that line makes me go CRAZZZZZZZZZZY!!! There are so many great lines, both using Shakespeare and on their own and its like okay give me a moment im going bonkers…
Personally, I haven’t read that many dark academia novels yet (bc for some reason i can barely finish a book rn sigh) but the concept interests me. I think what’s compelling is the setting/atmosphere of like ~mysterious college vibes~, and the idea of a sort of niche, obsessive bond and pursuit of knowledge with a tight knit group of friends (and the like inherent homoeroticism in every single DA elrngenrg). Like Dead Poet’s Society (the film I haven’t read the book) isn’t Dark in the same way most other dark academia is by like, obsession and death and manipulation (though of course there are dark elements with Neil’s storyline), but I think the other building blocks of academia are present there in a more wholesome way and you can see why people are drawn to that idea. As for the more Dark aspects I think it’s interesting to analyze things like group psyche, obsession, manipulation, etc, like what went wrong for everything to take such a dark turn???
 But, like everything else, it really has to be done well or else its just like okay….… I’ve tried to read TSH twice and I may try again but from the 100+ ish pages I read I totally get what you mean. IWWV is so interesting to me bc the characters are all very compelling and multifaceted and I like that they are a close friendship, we come in after 4 years of them spending all the time together and to me that is apparent. Like you said, we can see fissures and problems especially as the novel continues but there is care there between them. That also makes the decision to let Richard die much more interesting and sinister imo, as well as how all of them interact with each other after he dies, and how the roles of the group change without their “leader” so to speak. Also, maybe it’s just bc I like Shakespeare, but I think the academia part of IWWV is so much more accessible compared to TSH. Like I don’t know every Shakespeare play or anything so I didn’t understand every nuance or was like immediately like oh this is from Cymbeline or whatever the fuck, but you could understand the gist of things and it made sense that they spoke in Shakespeare lines bc that’s all they’ve been doing for four years and also theatre kids are Like That. Their pretention also provided any Layers to the story, like the parallels between the characters they play and their own arcs, how some of the lines echoed their own thots, foreshadowed, or they were able to say things through Shakespeare (I’m thinking of like, Oliver realized he loved James during Romeo and Juliet, the foreshadowing that James was going to ruin Richard’s life and that he dislikes Meredith/Richard when he quotes Mercutio at the start “A plague o’ both your houses”, the exchange Oliver and James had onstage and had that kiss during King Lear before Oliver was arrested,etc.) (Also I think the structure of some of the dialogue being formatted like a play really helped make it feel more realistic and immersive). Versus TSH which is just so pedantic and dense and hard to follow at times im like I get they are smart but what??? And maybe that’s part of the satire aspect (or maybe im dumb) but like donna I read TGF I know you are pretentious and info dump abt random obscure shit anyways so erglknerg. Like to me there was a Point to all of the academic Shakespeare stuff in IWWV and it was the soul of the book, and M.L. Rio made it very interesting—like the way that the directors reimagined the plays and had Julius Caesar be like a modern political play, the cool mirror shit in King Lear, the Macbeth and Romeo and Juliet performances where they did them at events and interacted with their environments (which were one of my favorite parts of the books bc I just think that concept is so interesting), etc. For TSH the shit they did literally just felt like “okay look at them they’re smart see you can’t even keep up!” like okay… I felt lost a lot and only like snapped into reality whenever Henry (?) was like oh… murder….. and even then I was like idk what this dude is saying but like he’s being darksided LMAO. And I also agree that it’s just like… Richard being thrown in the middle of this group could lend itself to some cool ideas but its hard to believe that he fits into the friendship group and hes just like hell yeah I love Greek so much and lets go kill this guy other than like okay ur gay and stupid and just want to impress Henry or whatever his name was (which he was but I digress). It’s just not as impactful to me as this close friend group falling apart. Ik TSH fans might be angry if they see this (and of course I haven’t finished the book so my perception may be warped but I also kno many ppl felt that way u did) bc I’ve seen ppl say IWWV is just like TSH but “lackluster” or whatever and while I can see some parallels (mostly b/w Richard and Henry and Alexander and Francis), I really think M.L. Rio expanded upon common DA tropes and the interesting parts of TSH but made it her own and interesting and oh yeah there are actually multiple compelling female characters and LGBT characters (and no incest)!!!
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Text
Ep. 12: “everyone is feeling pity for me...WHICH IS AMAZING” - Pedro
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Najwah
I don't think I'm good at survivor lmao. I don't like what it's doing to me. Initially the blindsiding and voting put felt like nothing but it's getting so hard every day. I've known these people for almost a month now and I've grown so close to them. These feelings of paranoia and trying to go after people is just a lot. Also the idea of using people pisses me off. I told Cody and Sarah that my bond with Amy wasn't like that but they still felt as though they needed to try to get Amy "for the numbers" instead of trying to talk to Pedro or something - which annoys me. I don't want to use people for numbers. I don't want to use people at all. My perspective has changed completely. I'm still PLAYING but as I say repeatedly, my connections with humans is more important than an ego boost that comes with winning. Amy finally contacted me again after I asked her whether she was angry with me. She said yes bc I didn't choose her as my closest ally in the previous challenge.  Thanks again James. So basically she saw I chose someone else, but she chose me as her closest ally. And I chose her as the person I trust the most and she chose Maddison? Am I not supposed to be mad at that too? I just miss her. We had such a fun friendship going. Now it's just scrambling and game talk with Sarah and Cody. It's a lot. I'm still not sure whether I want to tell Sarah about my super idol but I'm guessing Cody already had. That's why he's pressurising me to tell Sarah lmao. Also I'm not sure where their heads are at and how they feel about me. Whether they are just keeping me here because of my superidol. Either way, I guess I'm glad to be here. 
Olivia A
Cody has been VERY enthusiastic about the fact that he wants to work closely with me moving forward. In this challenge, however, when given the choice to take away Pedro’s immunity or my immunity, he took away mine!! That was very telling that they are trying to pull Pedro in for numbers and don’t actually want to work with us lol. Kinda stupid of them. 
Maddison
Pedro keeps scrapping by and is definitely now working with old Hanuha... Pedro! you’re on the bottom with them!! (and us too, oop)
Pedro A
okay everyone is feeling pity for me...WHICH IS AMAZING.....i can use that to get a little further in the game...even tho i still think my days are numbered....BUT I THINK WE MIGHT GET MADDISON´S ass out of game..its my only chance to stay lol
Aimee
I dedicate this song to Maddison! Alina Baraz - Trust https://youtu.be/Akgs6Lu0AiI I’m so happy I can trust you in this game. I feel it. You really comforted me when Grae and then Ben got their torches snuffed. You have never wronged me and I think I’m a good judge of character. We just click. I’m glad I can just pour all myself out to you and all my game thoughts. You never know when you’re the next one off the skype island and I want you to know everything. I’m not writing your name down in this game. Old Hanuha it’s gonna have to blindside me a 4th time. Lol and I’m closer with Pedro in this game than they realize. So if they try to pull his vote, hopefully I will know. 🤞 I honestly hope I wasn’t too suspicious on last immunity challenge that I never cut your rope. I wish you didn’t get out first round in this one! 😢😟 Aimee
Pedro has really helped pass the time at jury duty today. It’s fun chatting with him about the legal systems in our countries and cracking jokes at each other. Speaking of game for a moment, you can’t just ignore someone in this game like Pedro and treat them like an outcast and then expect to use them when you see fit. I have a genuine connection with him and even now I’m sitting here wondering.... do I save him this vote? There’s a lot to consider. It’s funny how old Hanuha thinks they can just grab any old Maola and work with them. Sorry guys you might be a little bit late to that game. I’ve heard from just about all of them how disingenuous old Hanuha is being. Hahahahaha sorry but I’ve been there with all of old Maola WAY before you have. They can see that I’ve been forthcoming and building relationships for days and not some last minute sketch as hell thing. It truly pays off to not lie or be messy when you have no reason to be. I guess that’s what happens when you’ve been blindsided and left out so much....I had no choice but to adapt my game. Maybe one day you’ll find out what that’s like too? I’ve been thinking so many steps far ahead and predicting potential moves before they happen. It’ll take a lot for them to get an old Maola vote without me knowing about it. https://64.media.tumblr.com/5edf24d4321044ba332b90b161d0f442/587280b4d69b93c7-b5/s400x600/8f010451e459cb39058854d9655031b4bb9b617f.gifv
Maddison
I know I’m a target again tonight, so its a good thing I have the idol in my pocket.
Olivia A
Maddison found an idol!! We think they are going to go for Maddison so she’ll play it for herself and we’re going to vote Cody out. He might have an idol too, though, so we might switch it to Najwah and hope they don’t expect that. I think we have Aimee with us so if we get Cody or Najwah out we’ll be in the majority. 
Najwah
So the plan initially was to get Olivia out but Amy L messaged me to tell me that her tribe is trying to get Aimee on board to vote me out? And apparently Pedro is on board with that too. However, Amy wants to get Maddison out but just not right now. And that's problematic because I really wish Amy would work with me. At what point does she want to work with me I don't understand. Also, she's talking to Pedro about her and my alliance and its starting to freak me out. For some reason she thinks I'm at the bottom of my alliance? Sigh. So she told us Olivia has an idol which puts a spanner in the works. It's two hours to tribal and I think I'm about to get blindsided lmao. Unless I vote for Amy, this is a high possibility. If she just came to work with me to get Maddison out, I could protect her but as long as she's part of their alliance, I can't really do much. I honestly wish she'd just vote with us. I don't want to get her out. I wanted an African Queen final. She suggested that we get Maddison or Olivia out and then she, her and Pedro and Maddison start our own alliance and get Cody, Sarah and Aimee out. And then Maddison and it's her, me and Pedro in the final. 💀 I just.. I don't want to betray people to that extent. Yes it's a game but also, it's just a game. I hate that I'll have to write Amy down for this. HATE It and it makes me fucking sad but whyyyyy won't she just work with us. Now she has my fake idol too dammit. We could trick Maddison so easily. Ugh. I just hope she'd change her mind within the next couple of hours. I really don't want to lose the one person I trust in this game. Fuck. While Magnificent Maddison is still in? Our game could definitely go to shit. Who's to say Aimee won't vote with Maddison and Pedro next. Why are we not getting the biggest threat out? I don't understand. Even Amy thinks she's a threat but when it comes doen to it she just never wants to vote her? Whyyyyyy
Sarah
My video link won’t upload so... I’ll send this in for now. 
For tonight’s vote, the four old Hanuha and Pedro want to vote together and we don’t have too much of a preference who we vote for. But, Naj found out through Amy that Olivia has an idol so we can either make it sound like we are voting Olivia or Maddison and hopefully flush an idol. So I talked to Naj and said I think we may be safer to vote Amy because we know an idol won’t be played on her and Amy won’t vote with or work with Naj completely. Amy is just being a messagener so she’s not really worth keeping around if she won’t work with us. Also, I don’t think Aimee wants to vote Olivia or Maddison. So the plan is to blindside Amy tonight and hopefully nothing crazy happens with advantages.  
Olivia A
Maddison found an idol!! We think they are going to go for Maddison so she’ll play it for herself and we’re going to vote Cody out. He might have an idol too, though, so we might switch it to Najwah and hope they don’t expect that. I think we have Aimee with us so if we get Cody or Najwah out we’ll be in the majority. 
Amy A
There’s so much happening in my personal life and this game is my sanity which is funny because it’s ANYTHING but sane in here. The vote is going bonkers once again. I don’t know what will happen. There are names everywhere. I just hope I survive another night. 
Olivia A
So the official plan is to vote Najwah. Amy told Pedro that we’re voting Cody so hopefully he relays that false info to Hanuha people. He also accidentally sent Amy some messages along the lines of “amy and maddison want me to vote w them but don’t even tell me the plan...” lmao so we have it confirmed that he’s telling Hanuha everything. I’m not sure if it’s a good or bad thing that Pedro didn’t include me in that/assume I’m working with them. Maybe I am a goat! Not sure. Everything Maddison has done (whom everyone thinks is the big target) is something that I also did. We’ve been working in collaboration literally the whole game and come up with all plans together. That doesn’t feel like a goat to me. 
Pedro A
I'm FUCKING SCAREDDDDD....like I don't trust Maddison and olivia....why would I vote with them...but at the same time...... I would just get 6th and 5th...LIKE COME ON...from the bottom to the powerful position..Idk how much more I can take...IM DYINGGGGGGGGGGGGG KILL ME ALREADY...sorry im literally a psycho ...#streampsycho by red velvet THO....but at the same time...Amy wants me to vote Cody......I CAN'T BE THE LAST MALE IN THE GAME....everyone will come for me
Maddison
I know I’m a target again tonight, so its a good thing I have the idol in my pocket.
Olivia A
Ahhh now Amy is being sus. She said she started talking to Najwah pretending she was interested in flipping to get info. But she never shared that w Maddison and me while it was happening so that makes me think she was actually interested in flipping. Also she apparently told Najwah that Maddison and I are super close! I don’t like that. I feel like I’m going home tonight. 
Cody A.
https://youtu.be/l8RU7yci6kY
Cody A.
https://youtu.be/u5Wj3o0jqZE
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sofhyuck · 5 years
Text
Greasy Baby
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Genre: fluff, greaser!hyuck
Word Count: 2.4k
A/N this au stems from some enlightening conversations with @cinanamon who is graciously allowing me to use some of her ideas, this one’s for you bb ;))))
greaser!hyuck is...a lil shit to say the least
like ye he’s a handsome boi i mean,,,imagine him in a leather jacket,,,hair gelled back,,,yes pls
but he knows him and his group of bois (dreamies hello) are hot shit and he’s not afraid to show that he knows it
him and the dreamies are always seen cruising around town,,, harassing hollerin at the ladies from the inside of hyuck’s beat up mustang (is that a time period correct car??? idk and idc to look it up lol)
he never actually physically harasses anyone, it’s all fun and games (for them at least don’t accept cat calling kids men ain’t shit)
there’s just...nothing else really for them to do around town
the only forms of entertainment come from the drive in theater and the soda shop that all the kids hang out at after school
he attends his local university since him and the gang come from a small town and didn’t really care to leave or have the grades to go to a better school
and you...well you don’t really know why you decided to attend a university in such a dinky little town
maybe it’s because you wanted a change of pace from the city, and maybe it’s because it’s your mother’s alma mater and you spent a few of your summers there
but somehow you find yourself at the school
the only problem is,,,everyone who attends the school grew up in the dumb town,,,meaning everyone already knows each other and has their friend groups and cliques
leaving you to fend for yourself and kind of live as an outsider
sure you make acquaintances in your classes but,,,it’s hard for you to make solid friends when everyone else already knows everything about everyone else 
so you’ve been living your life on campus, smiling at the acquaintances you’ve made when you pass by them on the street, but you never really hang out with anyone after school
your sophomore year you got a job at the soda shop bc college ain’t cheap and they were hiring
surprisingly enough you made close friends through the job, your coworkers went to the same uni as you and the clientele were also in some of your classes
so you began to actually go out more (when you weren’t working obvi)
on day you were on campus walking to your next class and you saw one of said new friends
but while you were distracted with waving to them you bumped into someone and woop guess who????
you guessed it our boy hyuck with the rest of 00 line walking past
he was bouta pop off but then he sees it’s you the cute lil waitress from the soda shop that he’s lowkey seen around and been crushing on for a few months now
so when he sees you stuttering out an apology bc boi is brighter than the damn son and took your breath away
he just smirks and lets out a lil chuckle and just says ‘don’t worry about it sweetcheeks’ with a wink and then he’s off
you stand there for a moment in shock bc like obvi you know who he is even if you’ve only been around a few years who tf doesn’t know hyuck and co
and ofc your friends all saw and were like...b don’t even worry about it he just be like that sometimes ya know
and you’re like yea u right and forget about the whole encounter
but guess who doesn’t ohohoho it’s mister lee donghyuck himself he be thinking about it the rest of the day bc wow you’re even prettier up close huh
and the rest of dream are like...mmhmm ok mr. lee not sus at all we’re on. to. you.
so guess where hyuck ever so casually zooms off to after his classes are over????
oh boy you guessed it right off to the soda shop but oomph poor bb you’re not actually working that day and bb is sad :(((( meanwhile his boys are just laughing at him bc omg hyuck is so w hi p pe d
so now bb is going to the shop every moment he can until!!! finally!!! you’re working again god bless!!!
as soon as he sees you’re working baby sits bolt up right and starts fixing his slicked back hair that he had totally not been running his hands through out of nerves
the other boys weren’t there bc??? they have better places to be than at the soda shop for the 50000 time that day even though chenle and jisung had been there earlier just to laugh at him
but now holy shit you’re coming over and you look so cute in the dumb poodle skirt they make you wear as a uniform with your hair placed in a high ponytail
meanwhile you’re sw e a t i n g bc shit it’s hyuck and he’s still a handsome ass boy and you have to serve his table n ow f u c k
so you sidle on over and give him your usual spiel asking what he’d like to order n shit
and this boy omf remember when i said he was annoying?
well yea he fucking goes ‘are you on the menu bc I’d certainly like to have a piece of you’
and you’re like...boy tf oh my god i want to SLAP him 
but you grin through it like ha ha...funny ok...our specials for today are...
hyuck ain’t listening anymore bc he’s busy mentally kicking himself bc??? really hyuck??? you’re trying to make her like you wtf were you t h in k i ng
so he just points at some random thing on the menu, his head hanging in shame
and yea you’d think it was cute if he hadn’t just gotten on your damn nerves
but, alas, you have to continue serving the boy who had ordered literally just a fried egg but you know who were you to judge
he eats the egg rather quickly and then just...sits there...not doing anything...and you don’t know what to do like you can’t kick him out he did order something and it’s not particularly busy
meanwhile hyuck’s head is spinning trying to think of how to woo you after completely embarrassing himself earlier
after like an hour passes you head over to him, ready to ask him again if he wants anything else to eat 
but as soon as you get to him he jolts upright scaring the shit out of you and he’s like fuck sorry i didn’t mean to scare you 
and you’re like it’s fine now seriously do you want anything else-
but he cuts you off and suddenly...lee donghyuck?? is grabbing onto your hand??? and rapidly apologizing to you for being so Gross earlier
you gotta shake the boy off of you and honestly,,,he’s really endearing like aw he’s so embarrassed what a bb
when you get out of his grip you’re like bro it’s ok tbh i get much worse all the time
suddenlt hyuck is ready to f i g ht like who tf??? i will square up 
in your head you’re like,,,bitch ik you catcall don’t even try...but in reality you’re like mmmhmm sure ok you couldn’t hurt a damn fly
hyuck is angery now like wdym im tough >:( don’t you see my leather jacket and cool hair and car???
and you,,,oh you little reader pat lee donghyuck’s fUCkiNg head and now he is blushing oooooh
in a smol voice he asks for his check and leaves you a v generous tip despite your protests
and by that time his confidence seems to come back bc he winks and tells you he’ll be back
you giggle and give him a lil wave bc...wow lee donghyuck is just a cute shy lil bb hehe
and now hyuck is coming in every day,,,sometimes with his boys,,,sometimes alone but no matter what he’s always sure to, in a respectful manner, flirt with you and chat you up while dream just look on in amusement bc, again, hyuck is wh i p p e d
y’all just kinda...live like that for a few weeks but it’s v clear to e v er y body that there is shit going down between the two of you
like at this point hyuck’s hanging around campus with you too so like,,,everyone and their mother knows at this point bc,,,like i said earlier,,,everyone in this damn town knows everything about everyone
so ya’ll are stagnant, hyuck flirting, you laughing and sometimes flirting back
until one day ohhh boy there’s a new boul in town and he is not ashamed at all
and by that i mean he’s the biggest fucking asshole to ever step foot in the town, thinking he’s hot shit and everybody wants him when everyone hates his g u t s
and this boy has been hanging around the shop, livin his life, waiting for his moment to strike
but uh oh he made a mistake bc the first person he attempts to come on to...is you
and hyuck has been there bc he knows this guy has been hanging around and he wants to keep an eye on you his girl
it was a good thing too bc... this boul is going all out
tugging lightly at your skirt when you come to take his order while he uses the same cringy line hyuck used on you that first day
and hyuck knows you’re a big girl who can handle herself which you make very clear by firmly rejecting him with a smile plastered across your face
but...boy does not and will not let up
and you’re getting more and more frustrated and hyuck can tell esp when you keep throwing exasperated looks in his direction w the occasional eye roll
he would laugh but he’s too busy trying not to flip his shit
until boy fuckin just goes to grab your ass and you immediately move back, ready to reprimand him
but all thoughts are brushed aside when a loud crash sounds followed by heavy footsteps
hyucky had stood up so harshly that his chair had fallen over but he hadn’t even bothered to fix it bc he immediately stormed over to you, loosely wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you into his side 
he is m a d like you thought he couldn’t fight before but now he looks like he could rip a guys head off and you lowkey find it hot but that’s not what’s important right now
the guy is like oh woops sorry bro didn’t know she was taken but hyuck is not having it going off about how you shouldn’t treat anyone like that period no matter if they’re in a relationship or not
and yes hyuck and his friends had been the same way a few months before but meeting you changed his way of thinking and his friends as well
bc the idiots had never had any female acquaintances before but now they have you and you’re like a sister to them except for hyuck obvi bc he’s in looove
anyway back to the matter at hand i swear i keep going on tangents soz
you have to calm hyuck down before he actually punches this guy in the nose and the guy throws some money on the table before booking it out of there bc he’s high key scared rn lol puddy
your boss comes out and is like...y’all good? and you’re like uhhh yea mind if i talk to him for a minute? n he’s like ya sure whatever
so you pull hyuck over to a back room and you’re like,,,bro,,,wtf you good now??
but hyuck is on a roll now and just flat out says ‘i’ve liked you for a while now so will you do me the honor of being my gf?’
you ??? for a second before snapping himself out of it and you’re like ??? hell yea boi tf???
so now y’all are dating woo!!!
he makes sure to come to the shop whenever you’re working
at first he even would miss classes but you were not gonna have that oh no education comes first kids >:(((
and he was like ugh ok fine but he always managed to get other dreamies to be there when he couldn’t just so he knows you’re ok :(((
you get really close with the other dreamies tho so now you’re all one happy family
even when hyuck isn’t at your shift he makes sure to pick you up afterwards
waiting outside, leaning against his beat up mustang …leather jacket on…waiting for you to come out…and when you walk up to him he grabs you by the waist…pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead…before opening the door for you…driving off to who knows where…but neither of you care as long as you’re together…
sometimes you go to the drive in and cuddle up in the backseat making out for the duration of the movie hehe
you climb onto his lap and sometimes you can hear the people in the next car wooping and hyuck just gives them the finger before bringing his hand back to settle on the back of your thigh
ahem anyways enough of that
other times you just,,, drive around,,, windows down,,, blasting music and laughing,,, just living your life as two college students should hyuck’s hand resting on your thigh shhhh
you always stop at the same dingy diner that’s hidden away on some side road
(shout out to steph for this next part love you bb uwu)
and hyuck always rummages through his pockets  for change to buy you a drink, even when you say he doesn’t have to and you know he doesn’t always have the most money he says he wants to
trips to the diner are always followed by sunset drives where you have to remind him to watch the road bc  he finds it so much fun to smiles t you and try to kiss you while driving and you scold him that he’s going to die one day, him saying it’s better to live hard, die young
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mothraballs · 6 years
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Sketchbooks From Over The Last Seven Years
I have a box of sketchbooks and random sketches that I’ve been adding to since I was about 12.  Today I went through it all and I decided I’d make a post about it because. idk. why not I guess? So obviously its not every page of every book but like if anyone wants to go through about 7 years of bad sketchbooks and loose sketches and doodles its under the cut. Some nudity
.Going through this sucked a little because like who in the world ever wants to go through their middle school art??? Its hard not to get rid of that stuff because like not only does it suck but it makes me remember middle school and things like anime club and like. ew. But it’s nice to see how much less I suck at this, even if i’m not nearly as talented as I’d like to be. It also makes me sad to think of art i’ve lost, even if it was bad. I don’t have pretty much anything that I did digitally from like age 13-16 because I either deleted it or lost it when a computer broke because i didnt back that up since I didnt think id care but l kinda wish I still had some of that stuff, just like to compare improvement over such a big time period.
 I wanted to find some of my actual finished art to post with this, but I couldn’t find it today, so it’s only sketchbook stuff (but I dont finish a lot of things anyway lol). Maybe I’ll make another post comparing old things I actually finished with new stuff once I can find it because I know it’s around here somewhere anyway heres sketchbooks!!
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This is from 7th grade, so I guess I was 12. It’s god fucking awful, complete with drawings of memes (which I will spare u from), slenderman fan art, and a weird message about my middle school bike, which I still have in my garage, being stolen, which it never was. And the brakes do work.
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 why
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  This one is also from when I was 12, but it’s only about 1/4 of the way full. 
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i think i had a mental brakedown here lmao
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@douche-mccoosh​ ‘s sexy page
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This one was either from 7th-8th grade or just in 8th grade. Idk. Either way I was probably 13 years old. Just a warning: Mlp fan art starts here
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1 (ONE) wolf
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idk what this is supposed to be honestly
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long forgotten OC
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This one was also from when I was 13
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I had this from age 13-14, I started drawing digitally a LOT more around age 14, so I guess I wasnt rly using my sketchbook as much
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this was like straight copied from a piece I saw at an art magnet school I applied to (obviously I didnt get in lmfao) and I really did not understand how dark I needed to make the paper in some spots. And then I never finished it
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A pony OC... she was a robot ok
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I think I had this one age 14-15. The paper ended up being translucent so I stopped using it early on. Im kinda glad I didn’t fill it up because that actually might be kinda useful to me now
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Sweet notes from @lmkno​  
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This one wasn’t in the picture on the top bc I found it later. I think I might also be missing like 1 other one too tbh but oh well lol I think I had it when I was 15? really stopped drawing like a lot around this time, I wasn’t doing digital stuff either cuz my computer was broken at the time
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This is also about when I stopped throwing away every single thing i drew on a loose piece of paper, so here’s some random sketches from the general timeframe
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First sketches of my OCs Vonn, the fish man and Elliot, the girl with pigtails
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Some of my art I’ve sorted correlating to the OC’s and the universe they belong in or whatever so here’s some OC’s that sort of came about around that time, some of the pictures are from when I was older though
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Ginger
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the TV head robot guy was named Seven
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the guy with the fuckin,, circle head and weird face is Wolfgang, I still draw him a lot today but ive changed how he looks a  l o t
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I had this age 15-16, so like 2014-15. Maybe early 2016? There’s a lot of blank pages and scribbled out things. I 
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Wolfgang again
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fukkin,,,, gaye ass furry roleplay oc
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Sketches on loose paper from the time I think??? I honestly cant tell when all of these are from but they’re gonna go here.
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first design of an OC named Eryl
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A random D20 character
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Eryl
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Early drawings of an OC named Lucy Lucy Lucy Lucy Lucy Lucy Lucy Lucy Lucy aka Lucy Ninetimes
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Lucy & Wolfgang
And heres more stuff I had sorted by OCs/universe or whatever
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main OCs here are Pidgenfinger, with the blue or possibly stylistic black hair, and Chrissy, shes like. A mouse or something
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main OCs here are Roland and Ansel, they were like siamese twins and then one of them died at birth and now this guy just has a ghost twin idk it was stupid
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Finally we’re at the point that my phone started recognizing faces in my sketchbook. I had this one age 17, i might have started it like right before I turned 17?
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Lucy & Wolfgang
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Vonn and Elliot on the right side of the page
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Pidgenfingersa
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Roland & Ansel
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Dont Starve fanart on the right
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Elliot on the right
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Lucy on the bottom left
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Vonn & Elliot on this page too
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Lucy & Wolfgang, this is dumb but w/e
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Von, Elliot, and another OC, Eryl. The lady with horns never got a name
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Random Sketches
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Lucy
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Wolfgang
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I got this sketchbook a few months after id turned 18 if i remember correctly 
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Lucy, but decapitated
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Lucy
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Lucy again
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Lucy yet again
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Lucy!!!!!!!!!!
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Wolfgang
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(and Lucy)
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I got this sketchbok as a gift from my wonderful boyfriend @the-lost-professor​ early january of this year, so technically when I was 18, I’m now 19
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Eryl on bottom right
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Stuff I did for mermay
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some random sketches
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My current sketchbok ft. Tsu This one was also a gift from my boyfriend ♥ I got it late June of this year
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Wolfgang
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Lucy
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Wolfgang
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Lucy
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Wolfgang and Leah, and OC that i made a long ass time go and I dont have the original picture but I redrew her
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Wolfgangs and Lucys
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Eryl on the left
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The last thing I did for mermay, which I technically finished after may ended
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Lucy
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and the most recent page! With Lucy and Wolfgang on the right
uhhhhhhhhh
im really fucking hungry now and im gonna go eat bye
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neo-shitty · 3 years
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toffee!
no dont apologise! i didnt check until just then so np :)
mmm yeah it is a bit trippy. hehe ITS TRUE THO. yeah sadly i think ur right, and tag blocking is probably a good idea. sometimes smut written well or not in excess is okay but goddamn when its abt 01 line and thats the whole fic... *silently blocks tags*
hehe i do that all the time lol this conversation is carrying on threads from a month ago :) mmm yeah ur probably right sadly, same. HA HE DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE and now i have someone to talk to abt them, so thats good! I KNOW felix was actually the one who got me into skz with his iconique gods menu line so i guess i have a soft spot for him. i always tell myself my bias is chan but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ guess im more whipped than id like to admit. mmm yeah that does make sense dw i hope they do that as well. YES king seungmin hIMSELF. GODDAMNIT DONT GET ME STARTED ON MINHO IN GODS MENU I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE WAS PART OF THE GROUP UNTIL I STARTED GETTING MORE INTO THEM. BITCH (affectionate) THE LINE DISTRIBUTION HAS BEEN UTTER DOG SHIT but *deep breath* its better now so were moving on adn hoping it stays that way. sis same but i may or may not have gone thru a rlly depressed phase and actively sought out the elimination episodes so i could actually force some tears out of my emotionless shell of a heart but what cna you do? lmaoo i feel that irl, binnie deserves more vocal lines. yesss channies accent is rlly prominent then, i think also the way he structures his phrasing? is more english speaking than korean? but yeah i totally get what ur saying. AJKSAL lmao
okay then! im excited for whenever it gets done! (maybe tag me?) ahh the cold shrivelled heart of a dark au writer beats again at the thought of torturing another poor characters very soul (/j) :(( yeah that would suck not being able to see them. ohhh ur on the other hemisphere to me! were just going into spring rn. mmm smth to look forward to! YES you put it into words. they rlly are pretty independent from the company (remember how jyp rejected that other dudes songs after like 3 seconds and then how he was apparently nervous to show the song hed written to chan cos chan was so good at writing hits ahhh sweet revenge) mmmYES we rlly need a mute and remove notifications button for our brains dont we?
YES CORRECT i totally agree. some people jsut dont give it a try, adn assume its bad cos its korean smh racist assholes. yes! im coming up to my 6 month anniv actually! sis sAME, i feel like theyre being tugged into appealing to the western american market and theyre not staying as true to their artistic flair as a group, especially with only writing english songs atm. *sigh* ah well, at least theyre bringing recognition to the kpop world. AHUH dead on, theyre going to be discarded pretty soon and then where will bp be? theyll prob go solo paths which is rlly sad but what can you do when the company is run by a prideful asshole? yg is not going to last much longer in the big four if they keep this up.
hehe you get it. oooh very cool! whos ur ult? (sorry if youve said this before) mmmm yeah good decision, i feel liek thats probably a wise decision. this is my first album release as a kpop stan (not counting mixtape oh) so i think ill get it for sentiments sake. yeah! im excited for the new music! mingi was the one who got me into them, but atm my bias is seonghwa followed by san, wooyoung and ateez but jonghos high notes man *swoon* he, yeah atm ive got jake, jay, nikki, jungwon and sunoo down so just trying to get the rest :) heh, yeah kard i rlly only got into cos of bm, ive seen him like interacting with a lot of idols and he seemed nice so i decided to check out the group. ikr gunshot man *another swoon*
no noe! i didnt know what it was until i got it lol. thx toffee ill try and take that to mind :) yeah lol im on a waiting list thats not going to be free until late september so hopefully i can hold on until then. hope ur okay, that sounds like it sucks, hope you can find someone. maybe ill just take you along on my phone and the therapist can get a two for one patient deal lmaooo. mmm, sorry no i havent mentioned it before, i dont rlly talk abt it much. uhhh basically hypermobility? if you google it, it doesnt seem bad, jsut joint flexibility but ive got the severe end of the stick, leaning towards ehlers danlos syndrome so thats fun. basically it just makes it hard for me to exercise, run, jump, stand or just walk for long periods of time and gives me a lot of joint and muscle pain so... thats fun! but obviously so many other people have it worse than me, so i try not to complain. normally in young people it will improve as they get older, but my doctor said bc its severe in me, its unlikely to get much better. but again, i dont have the worst lot in the bunch, so its all g.
oh its good that its not the bad type of rain, a light sprinkling can be relaxing sometimes. aww thx darl, the concern is appreciated but it went pretty well and i managed not to cough too much on stage or kill myself trying to run around to the other side of the stage in the pouring rain so thats good! oooh tea buddies! my dogs a labradoodle, but shes a bit more of a feral poodle lol not much labrador in her at all, unless its her relentless urge to hunt down every bird that has ever walked this earth smh :((( hopefully they can come back on soon, does uni have dances?
ahhh a mood if i ever heard one. hopefully things will get better for you soon, ik anxiety sucks ass. ooh thats always good! when its sunny here, its always melt ur thongs to the pavement hot so the nicely cool sunny days are a lovely change. hehe impatience is not so good for you, but good for us that get to see ur beautiful theme early. ahh no worries, itll come eventually hopefully. and if not, then just things that make you not anxious are good. it doesnt have to be black or white, sometimes gray is good. mmmmm sames i have midterms this week to catch up on and then two weeks of end of terms so thats fun! i hope u can overcome that a little, heres some channie to be ur motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8LWyNjzOww. hah! i hear that all the time, he seems to be everywhere. did you see that tiktok of hans slowed back door rap, i stg it sounded EXACTLY like namjoon, it kinda scared me. also teh beginning of another day, sounds so much like joon i swear.
that reminds me! idk ur biases! i feel like this should be smth i should know so please! feel free to elaborate!
ahh im glad, i was worried it is. mmm same, so no hard feelings if either of us misses a day or smth. ill start worrying if weeks/months have gone by, but if its just a little while thats more than fine. ill just picture you studiously completing notes and i wont worry lol
<3 w.a. 🐺
at some point i really think i'm going to start blocking accounts because blocking tags won't be enough. i saw ask tags the other day and it just made me want to bleach my eyeballs.
i could talk about god's menu felix for hours man. the teaser for god's menu that featured his part on the bridge made me look forward to the mv release. you: biases chan, also you: lixiesbabyhands. yes you are more whipped than you think. i can't believe orange haired minho was given NOTHING during that era but they kind of made up for it in the b-sides. i also hope it stays that way. the distribution for this era was pretty fair.
"torturing another poor character's soul" in all honesty, i used to live for this. 2017 me leading up to early 2020 wrote nothing but angst. i have another aussie friend on twt and tbh i'm still really (O.o) about the seasons! jyp should be terrified skz could easily take over that company. heck if skz grow old and start their own company, they'd probably do a great job at running it. PLEASE. i have issues on muting/notifications both mentally and in real life. sometimes, i just wish to disappear.
some people in my country are just disgusting tbh. not only racist but homophobic too. they label kpop as 'gay' and it DISGUSTS me. it's a problematic behavior/mindset people in my country need to fucking get rid of. anyway, HELP ME 6 MONTHS??? and i've been in this shit for like a decade eye. tbh, i’m not fond of kpop groups trying to appeal to the western audience :// it feels like they’re losing their identity in a way. yes recognition but at what cost? yg has my favorite groups but that’s one shitty company when it comes to promoting.
okay my ult! it’s haechan from nct but i consider chan an ult too. like a close second above my whopping list of kpop boys. oh yes! you should get the album just for like a keepsake? remembrance? how did mingi appeal to you? omg did you start getting interested in ateez back when he was still on hiatus? NOT YOU BIASING THE SAME PEOPLE I DID WHEN I FIRST STARTED STANNING. the infamous ateez thot-line. jongho is easily one of the best fourth gen vocalists out here, no one can change my mind :( good luck with memorizing the rest of enhypen! just in time for the comeback too. i hope i’ll get into kard soon but i’m pretty content (and a tad bit overwhelmed) with the amount of groups i stan right now.
please hold on though, feel free to vent here if you like. thanks for the offer tho HAHA but like i’ll try to get checked here too when the cases die down a bit. i’m sorry to hear about your condition though :( please don’t ever overwork yourself to the point that your joints/muscles would ache. it’s completely valid to complain about it tho. i get that you have others in mind but keeping that mindset really doesn’t do you (like you internally) any better? so if you need to, vent your frustrations out and don’t keep it in.
oh my god, about your performance last sunday. was the stage out in the open? glad you didn’t cough too much and did well on your concert. i’m proud of you! i can never understand dogs and poor birds T_T uni doesn’t have dances unfortunately. i think there’s just one party at the end like a graduation ball. what year are you in anyway? if it’s something that you’re fine with sharing. if not, it’s cool.
good luck with your exams! and thanks for the link! AHA what a cutie. i think he does this motivation thing once in a while during his lives and it’s just comforting. yeah joon and han my irl just freaked when we made that discovery. ult crumbs for her. oh god not me forgetting about every biases when you asked. you can ask for my biases in a few groups just list down the one’s you’re interested in knowing. 
i missed yesterday because i was grinding and finishing what if we stay + school work. finally did it today. i’m sure i’ll reply in like a day or two, definitely not a month unless i state otherwise. if i ever decide to abandon this blog, i’ll let you know.
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