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#idk whod actually help her
cheemken · 1 year
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with the last ask, is diantha's humanity resurfacing every day or are you also lying to us to make diantha's own lie and manipulation to her league seem believable and genuine–
Maybe ouo
Dia just wanted a sense of normalcy, y'know
Growing up w Mom Carnet, Diantha's childhood was rough, like ofc homegirl's skin got fucking branded, that'd fuck up anyone. But it's her upbringing y'know. Even when she got Sycamore, there wasn't a sense of normalcy in her life.
Back w Mom Carnet, everyday feels like a battle, she couldn't remember the atmosphere being not unnerving and tense, everyday she feels like dying under the constant pressure and abuse that Mom Carnet gave to her instead of actual parental love. But ofc, Diantha endured it, she endured that pain no matter how much she wanted die. And she knows her being branded, being only seen as a tool for her mother's own fame, how her mother always poured liquor on her and blame her for everything in her drunken rage, how she was abused, wasn't right. It wasn't really normal.
That added w the fact that she's an actress and has to work w other actors and such, and how she could just see what kind of horrible people they are under that persona of kindness and generosity. And that isn't supposed to be normal too.
But it's the only thing she knows.
And no one taught her anything else. No one really told her what's actually right or wrong. Not Augustine, not Geeta, not even her own League. Diantha wholeheartedly believes that what she's doing is right, so they can all achieve that normal life she also wanted, that they don't have to worry abt bad people hurting them, especially the one she loves.
And hey she thinks she's much better than those other people y'know, she's the Champion, she has more rights to set standards, she has more rights to use people, and bc she doesn't hit or attack anyone unless they attack her first, or if she's just doing so in defence. And as Champion, as the strongest trainer in the region, her duty is to protect the people of Kalos, no matter how dirty that job may be. But it's fine, she knows there are a lot of people willing to do that dirty work for her.
Lying and manipulating people is one of the only thing she ever knows when interacting w others, bc she grew up w lies and manipulation too, and no one really taught her anything else. That's why she conditioned Augustine to always tell her the truth too, she couldn't stand other people lying to her, and that's where she's a hypocrite. She hides a lot from everyone else, but she has eyes and ears in every corner of Kalos to make sure no one talks bad abt anyone she hold dear in her heart. She doesn't like being used but uses people to achieve her own goals. She doesn't like being manipulated, but she'll dig up every skeleton you ever buried to get the upper hand.
Diantha's life is a mess from the moment she was born until present time, and she hated it, she absolutely hated it bc she knows there's another timeline, another universe, where she and the ones she loves wouldn't have to suffer under corrupt and abusive people and leagues and just everyone who she doesn't deem as worthy
Dia just wanted a sense of normalcy in her life, and the closest she ever got to it was being w Augustine, being w her League, being w her friends and the other Champions. And suddenly they went against her, and suddenly they started attacking her. And she did the only thing she knows how to actually do, to break them one by one, to expose their darkest fears, to show them how powerful she really is. And to the other who are still questioning her ways and her cause, well, a little lie won't hurt anyone, right? Just give them the reassurance they need, the words they wanna hear, and they'll follow her every command. And maybe then, when they realize they're wrong in going against her, she'd spare them mercy, and they too can live in the new, much beautiful world she's going to create.
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dol-dee · 26 days
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opinion on butch f!bailey? shes been a butch to me since day one
I'm right there with you! :DD I use "them" for Bailey in this post but my current "canon-ish" run has an f!Bailey, so I design with f!Bailey in mind. Although, tbf I think my Bailey, similarly to my Harper, wouldn't look much differen't between versions Bailey gives me either heavy butch (maybe futch) or androgynous vibes. I totally get why people design her as a toxic femme; think cutesy kindergarden teacher that looks utterly wholesome but is the cruelest mf around behind that sweet facade It just doesn't do much for me personally, at least in regards to Bailey. I might be totally off with this tbh (I played the game a good bit but theres probably still a lot I missed in regards to Bailey) but Bailey strikes me as someone who wouldnt care to manicure her whole looks and aesthetic to fit that sweeter than sugar image. She can appear doting and charming in a cinch, hell she is probably really good at it too, or she wouldn't have been able to stay around as long as she has, she just doesnt strike me as someone whod care enough to keep that facade up appearance wise. idk thats a lot of dedication to the bit and I just dont think she cares enough . (I gotta add in advance that these are just my opinions/reading of the character and people are ofc free to have differing opinions. Honestly thats what makes dol so interesting) I've done a few sketches for Bailey but none i'm happy enough to post yet. Here are some of my design notes though: -Almost a bit boring looking / could melt into the background -Imposing, when you get a closer look at them. (maybe a lip scar?) -I dont think i want them to be extremely buff. a bit average looking mayhaps? -Their appearance isn’t perfectly calculated or immaculate but they do look somewhat tidy. -If they have Tattoos then they’d be hidden under plain suits or dress shirts. They kinda resemble a business person or office worker. -Body Hair -My version wears big ugly thick rimmed glasses, they used to be Edens < I have a whole headcanon lmao. They help to make them appear less threatening. I like a good contrast haha PHEW! Sorry I seem to always have a lot to yap about when it comes to design related things! If you actually read all of this then thank you :DDD and also thank you for the ask this was a lot of fun <33
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savethepinecones · 6 months
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1, 16, 20, 25! + any one of your choosing
1: what is your nickname?
i dont have any based on my name since its already v short but ive had internet folks call me pinecones or piney and i like those!
16: what do you think makes you attractive?
i think physically my eyes are my best feature but if were talking personality uhh i guess ive got a solid sense of humor?
20: whats a totally random and useless fact that you know?
every piece of knowledge ive ever had just abandoned me lol. if you feel like youre going to sneeze you can stop it by touching the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth a few times, like if you were saying la la la (i think i was told youre supposed to say "pineapple" but its the tongue thing thats the actually effective part)
25: do you/have you played any sports?
oh man. i did gymnastics for a bit when i was like four. tried ballet when i was seven but eventually decided to pursue piano instead (my mom had my sister and i try both for a year and then pick one to stick with). i also was on a soccer team at some point, maybe in first grade? i actually dont remember it at all but i vaguely remember looking at the team photos. also i remember the high socks lol. and then i briefly did softball in middle school because my childhood best friend had picked it up the year before and i wanted to fit in. im very asthmatic though so most if not all of these Did Not Go Well lol
and for the bonus one ill go with 19: a time that you told a lie
first off some important context for this is that i was raised mormon and every summer the church would have all the girls ages 13-17 go camping for like a week. they do hikes and crafts and devotionals etc. i think its all standard church camp type stuff.
so the first year i went they had the younger girls go on a short hike while the older ones went on a longer one. when we got back, a couple friends and i were curious about the longer hike so we decided to check the trail out during free time. we kept walking for quite a while. idk how long it was but we knew wed been gone long enough that people would have noticed we were missing. if i had to guess id say maybe an hour or so idk. anyway we got to a point where the path started to trail off and disappear so we decided to stop for a bit and then work our way back. we were in a pretty big meadow but there were some trees partway down a hill and one of my friends went down there to pee and carved some initials on a tree. i think she said she carved something for me and my crush at the time but i never saw it lol.
anyway eventually we started to head back and at some point we realized we were probably gonna get in trouble for disappearing. i was really worried about it but one of the girls was like "no dont worry about it ill take the blame" and suggested that we tell everyone that she had seen a deer and followed it and then the other girl and i went after her because we didnt want her to get lost in the woods alone.
about halfway back to camp we started hearing people calling our names. we kinda figured there might be some people looking for us but what we werent expecting was that they were men. remember, this is Girls Camp. usually the bishop would show up for a day or two but other than there werent any guys up there. turned out the bishop showed up while we were gone and some other guys whod driven up with him to drop off some food offered to help him look for us.
eventually the search party found us and we all stuck to our story when they asked us what had happened. i think we also said that initially wed been lost and really scared but then we said a prayer and just like that we found a path! and thats why they found us on a trail even though wed supposedly run off into the woods at random. it was very dramatic and spiritual. and also complete bullshit.
so we finally get back to camp and the leaders are all fretting over us. the girl who "followed the deer" did get a lecture about not chasing wild animals because they could be dangerous but that was about it. no big repurcussions.
that night we had a devotional, which is basically just the whole group sitting around the campfire and telling stories about when they felt the holy spirit or whatever. usually the leaders will start off by reading some scriptures or a talk from some church official and then theyll turn it over to the kids to talk about their experiences. in the middle of this, a deer wandered into the clearing near our camp. some of the girls pointed it out because cool, a deer. but the moment the three of us saw it, my friend who had supposedly followed a deer into the woods earlier that same day jumped up and shouted "thats the deer!"
for some reason everyone, including the adults, took it at face value that this random deer in the woods must be the exact same one wed supposedly seen earlier that day and also that it was some sort of sign that god had been looking out for us while we were "lost"
looking back on it now it doesnt really seem like a big lie but it felt like a huge deal at the time because we lied to The Bishop. for a long time i considered this to be the worst thing id ever done. we never came clean to anyone whod been there at the time and i dont think i even told my mom the real story until like a decade later lol
that story ended up being way longer than i thought it would be lol (ive told it before but never written the whole thing out so the word count is surprising) but its probably the most exciting lie ive got. the alternative stories are mostly like "i was super depressed but didnt think that would be considered a valid reason to bail on something so i said i had a migraine" so i think it was the best option despite the length. also its been a while since i thought about this and it made me nostalgic so yay
thanks for asking!! i had a lot of fun answering these (you can tell by how long this post ended up being lol)
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puppet2611 · 1 year
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//from 5.12.23
hey.... im going a lil cray cray over lf x a5 crossover au.. (also 8:11 bcz im a loser for oc x canon :3)(still coping over this stomache) if i dont send smth in 5 minutes shoot me im going too cray cray/j
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lf already kind of has ties to a5 since the entities still being alive and just kinda moving around but not really - maybe ill age up adam and oliver to use as background characters but whos knowss
not canon or anything just a silly little thought but erm. what if all 3 were connected via religion 😁 emilio, natalia, charlotte and isabella from lf already have religious backgrounds, 8:11 practically revolves around religion and a5 entities pretending to be angels could wreck some havoc on the damned basilica teehee,,, since im too silly with char.ai most of the characters mentioned already interacted w/ 8:11 bots to kinda get an idea of how everything would play out even if it was ooc... younger emilio and amelia def actually confided in francis while everyone else was at least a bit suspicious (minus isabella but uhmmm. lore reasons) idk abt the entities since i havent rlly worked on anything but their designs but maybe ill give them different abilities and only one of them knows francis' true intentions:3c
OH YEAH idk if ill ever tell him abt it but maybee i could throw in adams ocs too since bros absolutely batshit insane over 8:11 rn. i have screenshots of him being insanely gay over a french guy btw if anyone wanted to see/j ANYWAY ehheheee maybe felix and samuel knew the martin kids at some point :33 bunch of religiously traumatized kids meeting, what could happen??? (felix and emilio both stabbed their siblings at skme point 💀) ANYWAYS i think sam and samuel would get along not just because uhh similar names but idk since were kinda split between making sam a bitch or actually nice... oh and i never drew sam or amelia properly yet whoops a5 exploded my mind
btw abt the entity mfs id like to think most of them usually stay in human forms except for atlas whos kinda the socially awkward one whod rather stay as an animal so no one tries to talk to him lmfao
but hes also extra so anyone at the basilica sees a fucking bear with antlers and the fur pattern of a deer and gets jumpscared (they all get used to it later and only vistors get jumpscared) OH AND ABT THE OC X CANON STUFF. not rlly shipping i just dk what else to call it but tee hee maybe isabella and vittorino have mad beef because her dad died at the basilica not soon after vitto joined so shes mad sus 😁😁 but only to be a bitch bcz she finds him utterly disgusting. her cousin allen kills him bcz he kinda was suffering anyway and she actually helped plan it loll
everytime girl comes across the stupid hoe they always glare at each other or get in a fight... usually verbal bcz natalia would go rabid if vitto tried to hit bella ykyk
oh and since im trying to align the stories together a bunch of ages r gonna have to change... idk if emilio or oliver is gonna be the older one but there is no way in hell a priest is younger than someone still in school... but then again overthinker wont stop comparing emmy to felix so ion wanna make him too close to blondies age but then again again felix is like 50 now... ill probably make emmy 36 and amelia 41 ig. klaus has too many white hairs to only be 40 anyway/hj but then adams still older than klaus.... i mean ig i could just use the excuse that he dyes his hair since he already has highlights
this is a whole mess uhm.
im unoriginal asf so emilio and jericho can bond over being people pleasers and cupioromantic but their first and only ever crush was abusive 😁😁 (<- definitely not projecting) (i lied. jericho only ever gets with elio bcz of that one time on valentines day irl) (im normal i swear)
OH WHILE IM TALKUNG ABT EMILIO. BEFORE I FORGET
bro went from snarky rude ass hoe to the most pathetic bird known to man for silliness reasons/hj
bros insanely mentally unstable, has chronic pain and heart problems, trust problems and definitely either a drinking or smoking problem. hell he can even jack both of them if he wants/j uhm. but i decided to make him less of a mary sue with all the language stuff n shit. idk if i ever mentioned it but who cares its my channel grr/j anyways instead lf the grocery list of languages he can speak, he can only speak english, greek, and belarusian 👍 also asl but idk if youd count that as smth he can speak
still torturing his pathetic ahh but anywayss abt that one tobias/future emilio art. the snake he has was originally gonna be named mobius for his symbolism stuff (and a hi3 ref/silly) but maybee i might rename the snake fang or michael as in adams late husband because uhmmm. what if adam was like a father figure to him when they met and he at some point got him a snake 👍👍 (he wouldve gotten a rabbit but uhm. vitto symbolism. and bro is traumatized from the vittorino ais..)
that is all for neow bcz i need to go take medicine 😭
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no-psi-nan · 2 years
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The Most Dateable Dudes in Saiki K: Survey Results!
With 119 votes from viewers like you, we can finally crown the most dateable dude of the Saiki K main cast...
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Congratulations to Kuboyasu Aren for being the most dateable, and to Nendo Riki for being a close second! 
Fun fact: Nendo was actually ahead for most of the voting time!
Of course, we can’t leave out the rest of the Saiki K dudes, so here’s the lineup:
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More statistics and voter comments under the cut! Thanks everyone for playing, and to everyone with the laugh-out-loud quotes: stop being funnier than me wtf.
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From the main cast...
Saiki Kusuo (16)
he's just like me fr. we wouldn't date we'd just be in a qpr.
He cares
Give coffee jelly and best boifriend
im aroace and so is he so we can just not date eachother
He'll settle for the most average bitch: me.
I'm personally too old to date these high schoolers but Saiki is genuinely the most fun to hang out with, plus he's such a giving and caring person that he'd be a great partner to someone he could trust and that could make him feel human again. It's not saikis fault he exudes capybara vibes.
He's respectful and I like how he doesn't really have expectations for anyone. I would like to play a video game with him at some point in time or just read books in the same room without talking.
Because i love him (though aren is a close second)
He is really considering and caring even if he hides it. He can revive time for any objects and thats a huge help with cleaning and healthcare. And he never judge his friends so thats a huge anxiety relif. And he is ace
I love Saiki!!! Yeah!! Love that guy!!!
Will have no huge problems as his friend and in his proximity, will be in proximity often. focused on me and my problems while trying to escape from dating. Every day a new adventure
Saiki Kusuo (without powers) (2)
without his powers kusuo is just a little guy. so horribly out of touch in a way that isn't obvious but EXTREMELY funny + less psychic fuckery means i don't have to worry about the negatives, and it's not like i was going to expect anything like that from any other partner. plus we're both aspec. it will be a lavender marriage, except neither of us have a secret gay relationship on the side
Nendo Riki (24)
im aroace and he is too and i want to hang out
Himbo. Enough said.
Listen, I'm a kaido stan but the answer is literally nendo. He can cook. He's good w/ animals & kids. His face would scare away creepy guys. His brain is so empty it makes more room for ~love for friends~. All he had to do was get a haircut and the entire class found him irresistible. When love expert Imu told saiki her vision of the perfect man he literally pictured nendo before she mentioned a perm. Wake up people.
NO EXPLANATION NEEDEAD HE'S LITERALLY THE BEST. you just gotta keep it a secret from him 'cause he thinks dating is only for the bad stuff. or explain to him that it's not just for the bad stuff
The lesser of 10 evils
Best Boy ever
The propaganda posted yesterday was very convincing. Also he's genuine and kind
good cook, loyal, friendly, has personality, himbo
he would treat me well i think
hes the only one with the emotional maturity. Saikis too angsty. Kaidous wayyy to angsty. Hairo maybe, but hes never gonna have a good work life balance, he'll put his training over you being his partner. idk whod ever pick toritsuka. kuboyasu was literally in a gang, im gonna give him a bit to learn how to be a functioning member of society. saiko is a bitch. satous boring as fuck, i love him but not as a date. akechi has never learnt how to talk normally in his life, love him but that doesnt make him dateable
Nendo
Kind himbo
Big heart himbo who can cook
He's just gorgeous and manly, he's peak male performance
i was told to put him
is it not obvious?
nendo beloved, no thoughts
I need a weird guy in my life. I need a guy who will lick door handles with me.
tbh honest the most normal. He's only undatable bc he's gross but idk. kuboyasus a close second maybe
Can cook, loves animals, is athletic. The whole package except for his haircut.
he is kind :)
Kaido Shun (10)
He's super sweet, shy, throws himself in to protect people, and he's a chuuni dork and I think that's a feature not a bug 😌 Also his studious nerdy side is cute. I will stand by this.
I might be choosing kaidou bc I'm a lesbian and he's the most femm guy ngl
He's absolutely adorable and I feel like he would be reliable.
He be cute
idk bro i just like pathetic dudes. i feel like he'd be fun to play video games with and bond over our terrible moms lol
Least likely to cause me physical or psychological damage over the course of our relationship. He's so awkward with romance dates would probably just be LARPing Jet Black Wings, seriously doubt anything romantic would actually happen and y'know what I'm cool with that. I wanna rp as my edgy middle school OCs too cringe culture is dead
We have similar levels of goblin- I'd say saiki but that is the most aroace guy I've ever seen. Love to be in a qpr with him tho 👍
he's so pathetic <3
Hairo Kineshi (13)
i feel like this isn't even a question like??? He's the obvious right choice. He'd treat you right
he's nice :)
hes not my fave BUT hes the most normal if you don't count satou, and satou is a little TOO normal so itd be boring. also hes hot and popular and he would put a lot of effort into the relationship
Drinks respect women juice (unlike some), not stuck up nor unattractive
He's break my heart w the most motivational speech ever +_+
He's a good guy, he'd never lie, and would be his partner's biggest cheerleader.
Hairo is the most likely and reasonable option to choose out of all the Saiki K men. We all know how Saiki reacts to others trying to date him. Nendo's oblivious, and Kaido is very kind but hes not ready for romance. Toritsuka is.... Toritsuka. Saiko tries to buy people. Aren is too much of a try-hard. I can't really imagine how Touma or Satou would be relationships. Hairo is the most respectful and compassionate man in Saiki K. He listens to people and speaks whats on his mind (even if its a little blunt). He can be much but thats ok
he's the most normal and least worst
he is so supportive and even if hes rlly intense he would be such a good bf
he's nice. & hot i guess (if you're into that)
He is the most considerate and seems to be the most ready for a relationship, though the bar is very low.
Toritsuka Reita (3)
;) i love me a man who is Awful (im gay)
Kuboyasu Aren (31)
hes not too much of an idiot (unlike nendou, kaidou(im sorry lmao), saiko) + he respects women (unlike toritsuka) + i dont headcanon him as aroace (unlike akechi and saiki) + hes not boring (im sorry satou) (+ i dont deserve hairo tbh)
Side characters think Saiki is bland, Nendo is so ugly that nobody will give him a chance (:() , Kaido has his whole chuuni side to him which is annoying for most (:(), Hairo is Hairo, Toritsuka is Toritsuka, Saiko would probably be third place because of his money status but he is still insufferable to a lot of people, side characters know that Satou is bland (though that could be a good thing who knows, he is my 2nd place) and Akechi would just talk and talk and talk which most people would find annoying. Kuboyasu is pretty good at masking his delinquent side nowadays and has become just an average guy who isn't bland. Some people also prefer bad boys, so there's that I guess.
He could drive me around with his motorbike and could wrestle with me, that's really all i need in life. If powerless Saiki could still ride a motorbike he'd be my second choice, because we actually have a lot in common. Or maybe that's not a good thing…
who else tbh
he's a badass
Can start shit and hide behind him.
Season two episode two where he gets a fake love letter he admits his loyalty to love and care about his spouse forever and is willing to just drop school to marry them. Also he's really handsome and strong and good at art
Loyal. Will beat up anyone who decides to look at me in a bad way.
With how he reacted to one single (fake) love letter I don't doubt the fact that he would take care of his s.o. very well
Seem like he would be fun to hang around without it being absolutely insane...i think...maybe...
LOOK AT THE DUDE!! mans was ready to marry and be loyal to a woman his whole life over a single love letter absolute husband material I tell ya plus, he's trying to be good
He would be DEVOTED to his partner. He's cute. Also bisexual.
Big and buff and kind
An all around good guy. Has proven he isn't afraid of commitment and sacrifices for a life together,  even dropping out. Is more than capable of protecting his partner, and also understands that his fighting lifestyle could put undue stress on his partner and their relationship and is willing to fully stop for them. He is respectful and has basic notions of what is and isn't socially appropriate, more than can be said about other members of the cast. He isn't desperate, or a pushover, a relationship with him is unlikely to be average to the point of boredom and he isn't excessively embarrassing to be with in public.
He’d make a genuine effort to be a good bf and make you happy. also weirdly i think he's the most normal one
Aren is a kind and loyal person, to his friends, his family and especially his lover. Aren doesn't need to constantly rely on people to become a better person, we've already seen from when he first appeared that he showed great discipline and restraint when he was trying to move on from his old delinquent life. His lover doesn't have to worry about about him 24/7, knowing that Aren can restraint himself and stay out trouble, he only ever really gets into fights with people that are awful. He always looks like he gives strong hugs and is very handsome.
He's hot n would treat me right. Need me a man that can kick someone's ass for me
hnnfg,,;,
Hes respectful but can also kick ass. He drinks his respect women juice everyday.
deeply dedicated to his potential partner + great at violence
H e's a dedicated and passionate guy.  He's someone who's actively trying to better himself, and personally I find that really admirable and kind of attractive dldhldhskd.
Remember that time when someone sent him a (prank) confession letter, he was so nervous and serious it was so funny and cute. Honestly all I could think about at the time was that I would love to date a guy who would take the relationship seriously, but still be nervous that I can tease him a lot lol.
The only con with Aren that I can think of is his background, realistically I dont think I want to date someone who has gang relations (not v sure. been a while since i read the manga, i dont remember if Aren was really in a legit gang or just a delinquent gang sorry. if he was in a legit gang, id be more scared).
Uhh other dateable characters I like are Nendou, Saiko Metori and Teruhashi Kokomi. Tbh Nendou's would be THE BEST boyfriend. But the reason why he's second place to me is bc he's too tall for me. Seriously. I'm 5ft and a half. I dont see what you guys see in 6ft men. I am Not craning my neck to kiss or even Look at my man. So sorry T_T
I also really enjoyed seeing Saiko slowly redeeming and becoming nicer and caring towards the end of the series. Honestly so heartwarming. I like him. Would date him actually, despite the attidude. I've dealt wih worse lol.
As for Teruhashi, honestly she's the one I can imagine what it's like dating her best. I can go on for much longer here but I already think my response is too long T_T. Just uhh yk if theres a girls section I maybe would pick her lrbrkrbkdndm.
Because I might get along with him better than anyone else. We also have the same goal of spending our lives loving one person.
Saiko Metori (1)
no one else is gonna vote for him <3 actual answer: he's cute he's rich and i can fix him
Satou Hiroshi (11)
the rest are insane i think. i love  them but if i were to date any of them there would always be something.  second best option would either be kaido or kuboyasu i think
Least bad option, and dating him  seems like a guarantee for a good relationship.
he's just a normal, nice dude who  won't drag you into insane situations or get you arrested or whatever
Respects women.
Satou? Nice normal dude, Ideal nice  quiet life with him and a nice simple romance that I want :)
not much will happen, you get  together, go on average dates, meet family, live average lives, over all  it'll be ok, a break up will probably be just as average too
normal. just a guy
He is the most normal out of them  LMAO (I love the others so so much but holy hell dating any of them would be  atrocious askdjksjd)
Idk man he's just a guy (not  blorbo)
I'm gonna sound like Saiki but he's  average and we have common interests. Not a lot of drama but life's not  exactly dull around him either. He can care the conversations but he'll also  let you ramble on.
Bro is the only man thatd treat me  right
Akechi Touma (7)
I need someone to ramble more than me... Also I need someone to deduce what happens next in some fanfictions that isn't finished yet because I can't wait and doesn't have insane deduction skill. I mean Kuusuke can do it but Kuusuke might kill me so no. Also I need more Akechi ramble, I like those, got me interested in blood-type personality pseudo-science influence in japan, and since Akechi asked people to not harass him because of his blood type, it would mean that he is likely not type A (+and-). His purple eyes also implies that he has actually some supernatural skills, since traditional folktales associate this with eyes colored purple. It is also a deep dark purple. Interestingly, his pupils dilates whenever he goes into rambling mode. This is to be noted, people in sknpn dilates their people when they're furiously crazy (see Kurumi). Crazy Akechi? I am all here for it. Also he would be useful if I want to blackmail someone, so I would of course try my best to be on his side. I am not the brightest person in the world, but I am not stupid either. Next would be Kaidou. Kaidou is a totally relatable dude, since I have the same weight and same height as him (159cm and 45kg). Kaidou has a normal caring mom, who is overbearing but very well care about him genuinely. He is the only mom who Kusuo has never say anything negative about (Midori being a ""capitalist pig"", Kurumi being ""an idiot""). I would do anything to have his mom as my mom, though my mom is good enough, just a little bit more physical. Kaidou is also basically as weak as me (sadly), and would share a passion for hating sport. I am interested in drawing his fantasies and would happily be with him, since he is a sweet, pure, genuine person. I think I should end this here since there're more comments and questions to answer below I suppose.
He can info dump on me as whitenoise to combat my tetanus. I could Info dump back on occasion. I think it would be fun. Plus he's good with bugs.
I dont want to date him im an adult i just want to be friends with this dude thats all
I have problems
is datable meant to mean for everyone? cause this answer kinda hinges on the fact that me and him have two flavors of neurodivergence that i think  would complement each other but thats just in my specific case. which is weird because im also aroace i just think wed get along?? i would give him a litol kissy on his head and then we'd go on wikipedia dates or something. i wish Akechi Touma was real because i absolutely would question my romantic/platonic attraction over him (something not a lot of people irl can claim ive done for them)  But if this question means datable in the sense of like, ideal guy i would recommend to others? it would probably be Nendo. hes sweet and doesnt have as much baggage (for lack of a better word) as the others. He would treat you right and hes tall which i guess is a characteristic people are interested in, no judgement to them of course lol
 Best of the Rest
Matsuzaki the Gym Teacher (24)
well matsuzaki is a nice guy and also i rewatched his introduction episode a few days ago so
another man who would treat you right
He's hard working (seemingly runs PK academy himself), cares deeply about his students, stable career
trustworthy, athletic, honorable
I wouldn't date him personally(see age), but he has good intentions
hes athletic with a stable job and idk i just get the vibe hed treat me right, y'know?
Im an introvert, he got my back
dilf. sorry the stubble and the lines under his eyes got to me.
He's cool and I like him.
you know. miss saiki close second
would NOT date him personally as i am not interested in people with DILF energy but he seems like a very good partner. go king shit.
he's neat
Respectful dude
himbo
dilf
He's cool.
look i just have issues
dilf energy
dilf
Similar reasons to Hairo; he's the most mature one and is very respectful, even if it does get lost in translation sometimes.
Id date Matsuzaki. Honestly dont know if we would be compatible but I really do like honest dudes. Remember that one time when some kids pranked him with a confession letter, and he really waited for someone to show up and rejected them kindly. Dude. I was like. Woah. That. That was genuinely so cool. That was genuinely so attractive. What the hell. I would love to date someone like that. I would also consider the mangaka, though honestly I feel like we are too similar it would almost be looking at a mirror (despite looking like complete opposites T_T). Hey maybe it would work out? But like. We could also be besties.
Kusuke Saiki (17)
Alright hes the worst and I want to study him
My taste in men is horrible
The insanity
He be psycho
Anime Kusuke, just to state. HES SO. AND FOR WHAT. thats it thats my truth
The mad scientist tm aesthetic
Brains?? rich?? idk man
He'd actually be awful to date he's just insane and I like that in a man
get married. high risk high reward. i am a lesbian though and if he was a lesbian mad scientist he would be extremely hot. but as is I'm just all about planning my divorce outfit and attempting to dodge certain death
Korosensei from Assassination Classroom (17)
I was going to choose Kusuke, because I've slowly realized that he's my blorbo, though he's trash. He's smart and I like passionate guys,,, if we could, redirect it a bit maybe. But then I saw Korosensei and all bets are off. Reaper form is hot, and as a teacher he's just so caring, and again, the passion for me.
Alien boy that likes teaching, what is there not to love?
Everyone else I either didn't know, didn't remember enough about to know if they were safe, or knew to be DEFINITELY not safe. Don't know much about Assassination Classroom, but my sister read the manga so I asked her if he was a decent person and she said yes. Asked if hanging out with him risked damage to my physical or mental health, she said as long as I was a good guy I'd be fine (and possibly benefit mental health?) so. He's probably good.
Korosensei is literally the ideal guy
Process of elimination
I uh,, I um, well, ya know ?
with or without tentacles he's still care for you and it wouldn't be as overbearing as the other options. I was originally going to choose Kusuke but I don't want to end up a lab rat
Shiragami Fudekichi (Mangaka of Silent Cyborg) (12)
I'll be honest here: I should have voted for Mr. Matsuzaki, but Fudekichi is really, really good-looking. I can be very shallow.
he's a mood
Could draw you.
Introverted artist thats says no to women objectification? Yes please. And he is a great artist and writer that even has a team of helpers and thats really impressive, u know?
hes pretty
he looks a little pathetic and i think its funny
Chono the Magician (7)
i want to roll him up into a ball and shoot hoops with him
i think itd be funny
Only one without any obvious terrible flaws preventing him, and he does seem to have both a stable job and a good amount of creativity and loyalty.
Nice dude! Has his life together!
He's sane
Kuniharu Saiki (6)
im about to embark on the greatest "i can fix him" project of all time
Kuniharu is hard-working, even if he is quiet useless. He is very loyal, and to be fair he does manage to provide for his family in the end with his shameless shoe-licking. He seems like the type to be devoted also my hands are tired. He is weak and won't be able to hurt a fly, and sweet person with questionable litterature skill. Nonetheless he is an admirable enough person, who enjoys the lovely domestic environment at his house rather than focusing on his career. Focusing on his career for money, etc would probably end at best as a normal divorce, in the workacoholic society that they live in. Thug-smile Shirigami is my scond choice. Young, successful and the best trait: he is so funny lmao. Just look at his passive aggressive doings towards Kuniharu. How could one not respect this man lmao.
There must be a reason why he bagged a baddie
he'd lick my boots 😜
idk i just picked the person i knew it's been a hot minute since i watched the ol saik
The sniper Saiki summoned (6)
he does a good job :)
snipers are hot
gun
Ike-san the Magician's Assistant (4)
He just chillin ya know
Arguably the most fuckable on this list
 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ seems nice
Iguchi Takumi (the new teacher from Reawakened) (4)
my standards for men are: is not a pathetic creature or a creep
He seems nice ig, even if he looks a lil creepy he's got his heart in the right place.
Because Kuniharu is a taken man, and, though sweet, a tad pathetic. Iguchi Takumi is prejudged as a pervert every day by society and still he doesn't let it get in the way of providing the best guidance he can to his students. He is fair, not a pushover, not over strict, gives second chances and forgives children easily for the mistakes children usually make. He's patient, respectful, has never been condescending to the students, goes up and above in his dedication to his work. These are all qualities of a high quality man. He works in his true passion, and I bet he'd do his very best to maintain a healthy work/life balance if he finds someone to share his life with. His students would probably go first, but a man with such ironclad priorities is also respectable and admirable.
Rean Kuboyasu (3)
Dilf.
I like Matsuzaki and mr. Ike but rean seems to be in the healthiest marriage of the show. Him and his wife kicked ass together, taught their kid what they know, then all turned to the straight and narrow path as a family. A tattooed family man who can ride a motorcycle and saves kittens on the side of the road.
 Aren gotta get it from somewhere
The Café Mami Manager (2)
He seems like a nice guy. The others are all a bit quirky for some people, especially Kuusuke, Makoto and Aren's dad
Can deal with cockroaches. A little emotionally unstable but who isn't. Plus perpetual sweets and coffee shop dates. I wouldn't mind working with him in his business or being a girlboss taking care of the bills so he can maintain his business.
Kuniharu Mannequins (2 for the price of 1) (2)
They can't backtalk
Other (2)
Kokomi Teruhashi – she’s pretty
Mr. Kaidou – Wooed Mrs Kaidou and also works a high end job.
The sumo wrestler Saiki summoned (1)
WRESTLE MEEEEE!!!
Peanuts Ueda (1)
No Votes
Makoto Teruhashi
Takahashi (classmate)
Nendo Sr
The magician Saiki summoned
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dyketectivecomics · 3 years
Note
what would happen if the nightforce and shadowpact met? Like whod hate or get along with who, what shenanigans would occur? Like what potential dynamics would Occur
Another Long Response, so Under the Cut It Goes! (& apologies if Tunglr fucks up!)
OKAY! so its been a few months since I read Day of Vengeance ofc BUT- iirc, the team by and large got along really well with Lori! I’m sure the Doylist reason for her not joining the team permanently may have been one part her Newness and another part her character being used more sparingly in BoP at around the same time? (I like to think the Watsonian reason tho is Lori deciding “no im evil now >:) hehe” and joining the S6 instead fjdkla i think part of the actual in-universe reason was she was kinda fucked up about the whole thing with eclipso & spectre??? again its been quite sometime since i read it so like. grain of salt on that) ANYWAYS
would LOVE to think that these two teams would crash into one another like this:
Lori revisits the Shadowpact bc Something Something Magic
Lori becomes fast friends with Laura bc Teen Mystics
Laura is introduced to the rest of the NF bc YES! MORE FRIENDS!! HER OWN AGE!!!
Shenanigans Ensue
I did write a snippet abt the Shadowpact Hearing abt Laura hanging out with the NF and i do still Stand by it. BUT... let’s give it just a Smidge More Nuance ye?
From the Shadowpact’s End:
Still Think that Jim would be mainly Distrustful overall of the kids’ intentions but he’d slowly warm up to them as he got to know them! He can’t help his Dad Energy lmao
June would LOVE having more ears to lecture on witchcraft (actually wait..... June leading socratic lessons in witchery with the NF+Laura all together omigod. this is it.. this is exactly what ive been missing fjdkals;a)
Like to think that Rory, Eve, Zauriel & Bobo would be really chill about team-ups & would overall treat the kids the same way that they do Laura, as like, pretty fully formed heroes in their own rights ofc, but still with that Undertone of looking out for them bc They’re Kids 
(I really want Danny & Eddie to go back to being like the Spiderverse Peter B & Miles meme, but they’d probably be a lot more like the Spidermen *pointing @ each other* meme when they see each other again ;-; c’est la vie)
From the Night Force’s End: 
Already talked abt Eddie a little there, but other than maybe having yknow.. TO TALK with Danny, I like to think that he and Rory would get along rlly well after too :D
Raven would latch onto Eve. I can’t fully articulate why I think so fjdka; just vibe with me on that for a moment
its canon that Traci & Bobo have a Back n Forth fjadkl; not gonna change that ye
Zach & Klarion would get on everyone’s nerves but like... Zach’s doing it by accident bc he’s just Like That, and Klari’s purposefully trying to be a Nuisance bc he’s just Like That
Kinda Almost same with Lori, but she gets a free pass with the Shadowpact bc they consider her their Honorary Daughter (Laura is Fully their Collective Daughter tho. jots these things down!)
I’m waffling on if i wanna include Skye or Amy in this run down bc like...  now I’ve been leaning towards leaving Amy on the YJ team and maybe possibly considering dropping Skye since she’s such a one-off but like... idk. they’re both blank slates as far as Interaction With Others go. I’d say they’d just be Agreeable with most everyone fjdkla;
As far as Specific Shenanigans go, I’d love a general crossover with the teams banding together to defeat a Big Bad™, and then some smaller, one-on-one team-ups here n there? Like little groups mix and matching? You can have some of the adults & kids maybe starting prank wars on each other, or pulling pranks together on other mystics who deserve it (*cough* Nabu and Winters *cough*). again, im still vibing REALLY hard with the idea of June taking all of the kids under her wing, and I do kinda maintain that while the JLD might be most ppl’s First instinct to pair the kids up with respective mentors (I know it was certainly mine)... the Shadowpact feels so much more like a family and esp like a team that they’d WANT to team up with and get to know, yknow? 
anyways i think i hit everything? even if the last answer’s kinds vague... actually all of this feels p vague all things considered djkl;afd but also its getting late and i’d really want to like... just straight up write fic abt these two groups hanging out ahhh. talking meta and Potential only goes so far until you want to start like!!! writing it out line by line instead so!!!!! yeah on that note, thanks for coming to my tedtalk \o/
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batz · 4 years
Note
i am curious!!!! i have a Hard Time fully getting characters speech patterns down but ur??? rly good at that!!! (w the posts that uve made/rbed around talking abt whod say what that ive read and gone 'OHH' at bc it Explained A Pattern In A Way I Could Get) n i was curious if there were any specific thing abt the diff characters speech patterns that ud picked up on!!!
ok so this is probs the least useful response i could give and im Sory but its legit just bc of my autism. like i cant exactly remember what the doc said but she essentially said like. my verbal comprehension skill just rly high to th point that it makes me weird (whch is why i got diagnosed w Weird Disorder HDJDHD) and my ability to kinda Absorb how ppl speak is like adjacent to that according 2 her? bc how i mask is literally by just adopting ppls speech patterns On Purpose bc legit i have no fuckn clue how to talk otherwise LOL
ANYWAY thats why dialogue makes a whole lotta sense to me. im able to easily catch on to how ppl n characters speak and little patterns and stuff, ESP w hlvai characters..! although benrey is a pain in the ASS ive been trying to figure him out for the last little bit but he kinda wavers a lot. i also just practice writing dialogue a whole lot which helps.
i guess the best way to figure out dialogue is find those speech patterns, like uh. when and how long they pause between words, how they annunciate certain words, tone of voice, how speech patterns change depending on who the character is talking to, etc!
its pretty easy to accidentally fall into like... like bubby swearing every sentence even though he actually doesnt swear a whole lot (just a lot compared to the rest of the group, and often only towards gordon or after something scares him). or benrey being constantly antagonistic but in a way that makes sense (calling gordon cringe or havin gamer moments or w/e) when hes actually antagonistic in a way that involves him like, doing a comedic bit that specifically holds gordon back his current goal (passport/foot scanner hd/the drive thru bit). hes like the long lost 4th warner sibling in that regard. but yEAH its good to catch on if you're falling too far into almost a stereotypical version of their charactr!!! (i accidentally still do ths so yEah it can be tough, esp when hlvai characters have very distinct personalities.)
like you find those consistencies and you should be able to branch out from there and see how theyd talk in Other situations. like honestly the best way to practice writing preexisting characters in regards to diakogue is place them in wildly different scenarios and try to imagine how theyd react.
with hlvai, bc of the source material being v restrictive to, well, half life video game funny show, its natural that the characters r gonna be a little ooc in like. domestic settings. esp ones with potential emotional moments. but its moreso how u work around it ig!!!
idk tho like im jus winging it w dialogue you'll probs find better clearer anwers frm like idk Dialogue People™ HFJDDJ uhhh i could potentially write a more coherent post abt how i kinda work around ths but idk i lazy
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fiction-fun · 3 years
Text
This one too is atleast a year old. Not tagging again cause idk whod want to see it hahaha
Saved and Loved
Fandom: The Simpsons
Pairings: Bart/Nelson, Lisa/OC
Words: 2876
Warnings: None
The girl swung a bit on the swing as she watched the unfolding events. They weren’t supervised on recess not really anyway.
“GET BACK HERE NERD!” A rough angry voice screamed.
“NO!” Returned a harried voice as a boy in a red shirt shoved through the swings sending her flying.
“Hey!” She shouted clutching the chains.
The boy looped back trying to lose the larger figure behind him.
“SORRY!” he yelled as he ran back passed.
She glared and huffed but this was a weekly occurrence. She sighed and went back to swinging. A few minutes later the swing beside her was occupied by the boy from earlier sporting a few more bruises.
“Sorry about that, Kay.” He said shoving off a bit.
The girl, Kay, sighed as she turned to look at her only friend giving him a look.
“It’s fine Bart, I’m used to being shoved during recess.” She returned.
The boy, Bart nodded swinging slowly. She gave him a concerned look.
“Bart it’s fine, really.” She tried to reassure him.
He let out a sigh as he stopped the swing.
“it’s not that Kaley, although I’ll try to run away from the swings next time. It’s…. just this whole thing.” Bart said gesturing to the play equipment, other kids and then to his own face.
She nodded.
“I know Bart. I don’t know why you let it happen. Aren’t they Nelson’s lackeys? Aren’t you two some kind of friends? Why don’t you tell him?” she asked looking at him.
Bart shrugged.
“Yeah I probably should but…I don’t want to bother him. Or make him angry.” Bart said seemingly adding the last bit as an after thought.
Kaley watched him for a few seconds.
“I don’t think he’d be angry at you, at them probably but not you.” Kaley said softly.
Bart shrugged and just as Kaley went to say something more the bell went.
“I have to get to class, you should too.” She said gently.
Bart nodded and stood up stuffing his hands into his pants pockets. Kaley watched as he walked away a plan forming in her mind. She went to class and ended the day.
“Bart! Call me later ok?” Kaley said as she paused at his locker briefly.
“Yeah, I’ll try.” Bart said still distracted.
Kaley smiled gently and laid a hand on his shoulder.
“I’ll help you with your homework?” she offered, trying to convince him to call her.
Bart hesitated for a few seconds before nodding.
“Alright, if mom'll let me.” Bart said.
Kaley nodded and waved as she ran out of the school, and got into her dad’s car.
“Hi Daddy.” She said dropping her bag in the back and smiling at her dad.
He leaned over and hugged her.
“Hello sweetheart how was your day today?” he asked as he turned back to the front and started the drive home.
Kaley let out a sigh and slouched back in her seat.
“They chased Bart again, and he still won’t tell Nelson.” She said looking down at her hands.
Her dad looked at her at a stop sign.
“Maybe you should tell him?” her dad suggested.
Kaley nodded and stayed silent for a minute.
“They only do it when Nelson has to stay inside. Because they know he favors Bart. Without proof it’ll be me against them.” She said voice low.
Her dad parked the car, before turning to look at her.
“Maybe we can figure something out.” Her dad suggested.
She smiled slightly, glad she had gotten her dad’s brain and her father’s cunning. Her plan was coming together nicely.
“I was thinking Daddy, maybe I could use one of the mini cams you and Father use to monitor employees? We could disguise it as a bow.” Kaley suggested mildly.
Her Dad hummed a bit before looking towards the house.
“We’ll talk with your Father and see what he says.” Her Dad said.
She nodded and the two of them headed inside. Kaley headed up to her room to work on her homework. A few hours later her, her dad and her Father shared a nice dinner and talked lightly. And then after dinner Bart finally called.
“Hey Bart, how are you?’ she asked as she settled on her bed in her pajamas with her homework spread in front of her.
She heard a groan from the other side.
“Not great but better then I’d be if they’d caught me sooner.” Bart returned.
Kaley hummed and they quickly moved on to homework since they both had to be in bed soon. About an hour later they had finished.
“Ok that’s it, thanks for the help.” Bart said and she heard a book close and then a bag zip shut.
Kaley smiled and closed her own books setting them off to the side for now she still had another assignment to do.
“No problem Bart. I have to go, I’ll see you, tomorrow right?” she asked.
“Yeah see you tomorrow. Night, Kaley.” Bart returned.
“Good night, Bart.” She said ending the call.
Just as she placed the receiver back on its cradle her parents walked in.
“Just what have you got planned?” her Father asked her.
Kaley looked up at him from her bed and pulling her notebook back towards her she pulled out a few pages from the back passing them to her parents with a smile.
“I want to record them messing with Bart, so I can show Nelson what happens when he’s not around. But to do so, I’ll have to get indoor recess one day. That is a full outline of my plan and the different things I could do to get that indoor recess. I’m not planning to do this now, maybe a month or so I want to get a lot of evidence.” She said determinedly.
Her Father nodded as he read the plan.
“I would prefer no class damage.” Her dad said in response.
Kaley shrugged.
“Then I’ll swear. It might get me two days though.” She said.
Her parents looked at each other and nodded.
“Alright.” Her Father said.
And with that they said good night and headed to bed. Over the next two months Kaley wore a bow with a camera hidden inside it, anytime anyone asked why she wore it, she just said her Father had gotten it for her and she liked it. The green bow sat adorably atop her dark brown high ponytail, recording everything. Anything the teachers did wrong, her dad who reviewed the footage with her each day, made an extensive log of. But by the end of the two months she had in her possession a video of evidence for Nelson. The class before recess that day she heard Nelson whinning that he was stuck inside and she was already a little annoyed about her math test grade so she quickly scribbled a note to Bart.
'Sorry.’ It read and Kaley passed it to him quickly.
He gave her a look and she held up a finger.
“Nelson quit bitching.” She said loudly.
“Inside recess and your Father will hear about this!” the teacher yelled, which was also caught on the camera she still wore.
When that class ended, she paused at the door and waited for Nelson.
“Hey Nelson, I’m sorry. I just needed to get inside recess today. I need to show you something. Will you show me to the inside recess room?” Kaley asked looking at him.
Nelson went from angry to curious before nodding and leading her from the room. Within a few seconds they got to the inside room, beanbags games and cards lay around in a semi organized mess. No teacher watching them, but a tv with a tape player stood at the front.
“What did you have to show me?” Nelson asked looking at her.
Kaley pulled the tape from her bag and motioned for him sit down. He did that and waited while she put the tape in.
“Nelson, this is a tape containing the days you aren’t at recess, this is the last two months but it happens every time you aren’t out there.” Kaley said simply hitting play before taking a seat by him.
He watched the TV as the video played. Kaley watched as he seemingly grew angrier and angrier. When the tape ended, he turned to her.
“That tapes real?” he asked.
She nodded and pointed to her bow.
“I have a camera in here.” She said revealing it.
Nelson nodded and rose to his feet, pacing around the room.
“It happens every time I’m not out there?” He asked seemingly to clarify.
Kaley nodded again.
“Every time.” She affirmed.
Nelson nodded and continued to pace before in the last five minutes of recess he sat back down beside her.
“You keep that bow camera and you watch our boy.” He said firmly.
She nodded but raised an eyebrow in confusion.
“What are you gonna do?” She asked.
He gave her an evil look.
“I’m going to get suspended for at least a week.” Nelson said as the bell rang
Nelson stood nodded to Kaley and walked into the hall calmly. Kaley jumped to her feet grabbed the tape and raced to the hallway, slipping the tape Into her bag, she paused at Bart’s side right as Nelson took his two goons to the ground. Skinner arriving shortly to break the fight up. Nelson paused in front of Bart and Kaley.
“Bart beat them if they do it again. Kaley you know what to do.” He said firmly.
Both of them nodded as he was walked to the office. Nelson’s prediction was right and he was suspended for ten days, just over the week he said. Kaley made sure to record everything while he was gone and Bart did his best to fight back. That seemed enough to make them leave Bart alone. Only for them to turn and go after Kaley.
“This is a bad idea.” She said calmly.
They cracked their knuckles and continued forward. It had been nine days since Nelson’s suspension.
“Oh yeah? Why?” one of the two asked, she didn’t know his name.
She rolled her eyes and looked at them with a glare.
“Because my last name is Smithers-Burns, and you really don’t want the other two with that name to come after you.” Kaley said calmly voice distant and low.
The two backed off at that realizing their mess-up. When Nelson came back, he made an actual effort not to get recess detention even though his friends had actually laid off Bart a bit. It was five years later when anything else happened. Kaley had taken to wearing the green camera bow constantly, as the camera updated over the five years her bow changed a bit. She smiled as she paused next to Bart, his silver earring glinting in the light as he slouched against his locker.
“Hey Bart.” She said happily.
He hummed lightly before shaking himself and looking at her.
“Oh, hey Kaley.” He said standing up.
Kaley looked over to where he’d been staring, seeing Nelson at his locker, she rolled her eyes.
“Seriously Bart? You’ve liked him for five years just go tell him!” She exclaimed with an annoyed huff.
Bart quickly covered her mouth and dragged her into an empty room.
“Are you insane!? He’s fully straight!” Bart half shouted back.
She rolled her eyes and shook her head.
“No, he’s not.” She said simply.
He looked at her confused, before shaking his head and shrugging.
“It doesn’t matter, even if he’s not, he can do better than me.” Bart said with a sigh.
Kaley went to say something but the bell rang.
“Just think about it!” She called as Bart rushed from the room.
Kaley didn’t go anywhere as the room Bart had dragged her into was her next class. The next person in was Nelson and they took their seats at the lab table.
“What’s up with Bart?” Nelson asked.
Kaley sighed and looked at him with a slight glare. Nelson nudged her.
“You look like your father when you do that.” He said.
Kaley cracked a small smile and looked at him fully.
“He’s fallen for someone but won’t tell them.” Kaley said without telling Nelson anything.
Nelson huffed and turned around to the front looking glum. Kaley sighed and faced the front as well. A week later Kaley walked into the Park to see Bart getting beaten up by Nelson’s ex goons. Kaley paused took a picture texted it to Nelson and immediately called him.
“Nelson your boyfriend needs help. We’re at Springfield park.” Kaley said before ending the call just as quickly.
She ran over and tried to pull them off, being stronger than she looked had its advantages sometimes, although right now she was just struggling to keep one of them off Bart. It took a few minutes and the one Kaley held had just managed to bust free sending her slamming to the ground, before Nelson ran Into the park. He didn’t hesitate as he ran into the fray and sent both of the others to the ground, quickly getting them away from both Bart and Kaley. Nelson turned and helped Bart up, Kaley rising up by herself.
“You ok, Bart?” Nelson asked quietly.
Bart looked at Nelson and turned slightly, cheeks tinting red.
“Y-yeah I’m ok Nelson.” He said faintly.
Nelson nodded and looked him over. Kaley rolled her eyes.
“Just fucking kiss already.” She huffed looking at the two of them.
They both turned red and looked at her, she put her hands on her hips.
“You’ve been dancing around each other since you were ten. Just fucking date already. As both of your best friend, I beg you.” Kaley said with a small huff.
Nelson turned to look at Bart and drew him into a light kiss, Bart freezing for a second before kissing back. Kaley sighed and smiled softly. The rest of the year went decently no one dared to mess with Bart with him dating Nelson. Although Bart’s dad did kick him out and he started living with Kaley her parents.
“Bart! Nelson’s on the phone! Could you hurry up though! I want to call Lisa!” Kaley shouted through his door.
Bart opened his door and leaned against it, taking the phone from her.
“Hold on, Nel. It’s weird as hell that you’re dating my sister, and just use the downstairs line!” Bart grumped.
Kaley slammed her hand against the door as he tried to close it.
“It’s not weird. And I want to be able to laugh and giggle and talk with my girlfriend in my room like you get to talk to Nelson! You two always hog the phone!” she huffed annoyed.
Bart made a face before forcing the door shut. She yelled out a groan and turned to stomp back to her room.
“Kaley.” Her dad called from up the hall.
She looked up at him and smiled.
“Hi daddy, what’s up?” She asked.
Her dad smiled and waved her close before directing her into her room where her Father stood with a small platter in his hands.
“Father you’re home!” Kaley called happily and ran over hugging him gently.
Her Father smiled and nodded.
“Yes, I am, and your dad and I have decided to change a few things around here. Starting with this.” Her father said pulling the lid off the platter with a flourish.
Sitting on the platter was a landline phone.
“My own phone line?” she asked.
Her parents nodded.
“Yes, Bart is always taking the phone up here which is fine but it causes issues between you two and that’s not right. So now you have your own line.” Her Dad explained.
She squealed and hugged them both, before they hooked up the line and left so she could call Lisa. Both Bart and Kaley stopped fighting but now Waylon had the hard task of getting them off the phone for dinner. Two years later and they all graduated, even Lisa who had skipped two grades to join them. They spent the night laughing sitting in the park talking about how much they had changed. Nelson had an ear and nose piercing; Bart had his ear piercing. Both Kaley and Lisa had multiple piercings in their ears Kaley also had a tongue piercing and snake bites, while Lisa had gotten a nose piercing. They laughed long into the night sharing stupid stories from their point of view.
“Got Kaley to thank for this.” Nelson said hours later.
Bart and Lisa looked at him.
“I secretly made a tape of those idiots chasing and beating on Bart way back in what fourth grade? And when I told Nelson to stop bitching it was my plan to show him the tape.” Kaley said with a shrug.
Bart smiled and shook his head laughing.
“I wouldn’t tell him, so you found a way to show him.” Bart said.
That caused more laughter to ring through the group. Over the next few years the girls went to college and the guys started work and they ended up living in a duplex in town together, spending the majority of their time together.
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comicteaparty · 5 years
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February 11th-February 17th, 2019 CTP Archive
The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from February 11th, 2019 to February 17th, 2019.  The chat focused on Sombulus by Christina Major.
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RebelVampire
COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!
Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Sombulus by Christina Major~! (http://www.sombulus.com/)
You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PST), so keep checking back for more! You have until February 17th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!
QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?
QUESTION 2. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?
QUESTION 3. What do you think caused Rana, Astyr, and Sydney to wind up bound all together since Astyr didn’t do it on purpose? Do you believe the trio will be able to become unbounded? How might this affect their relationships?
QUESTION 4. Who exactly are Hannah and Vuudo working for? Why are the two so intent in spying on Astyr? Further, what about Kazar? What spying activity is Kazar doing and why was Yanell’s presence of interest to her? How will these spying activities affect the main trio?
Delphina
It's my comic! I'm so excited!
khkddn
I have not started reading yet but I wanted to say the website looks really nice. The archive is so neat looking!!
Delphina
Thanks! I know the archive is long, so having a nice-looking archive page that would be helpful for seeing where you left off was important to me. XD
varethane
I think Sydney is my favourite, but that is liable to change at any minute cuz I like Astyr and Rana and Tenge a lot too lol
kayotics
1. I think I like lot of the more recent scenes the best. I really like the emotional depth that's happening between the main characters, specifically Astyr and Sydney. The scenes where Sydney was actively working with Astyr are some of my favorite, just because it shows a lot of character growth. 2. I like Tenge a lot (I'm a sucker for nerds), but I think I like Astyr and Sydney the best! Mostly I like their dynamic and the emotional development that has started between them. Overall, the cast is really fun because they all have something unique about them. 3. I don't really have much speculation on how they became bound together, but I do think that they're going to eventually become unbound from each other, but I think that at least Rana will choose to stay with Astyr after becoming unbound. 4. Again, I haven't speculated too much on who they work for, but my guess on why they're intent on following around Astyr is he's caused some sort of significant disruption in magic before (it seems that he does that frequently enough), or he's important in some sort of larger plot that he's not aware of.
keii4ii
Can I just say I love the main trio a lot + Tenge? Also, I'm entertaining a vague AU idea about half-ascended Astyr with one blue eye.
kayotics
Oooh I like that AU
Delphina
He looks like that guy from My Hero Academia XDDD
kayotics
huh, you're right
RebelVampire
QUESTION 5. Do you believe that Tenge will destroy his own Morphid father? If not, what do you think he’ll do alternatively? Whether he does it or not, how do you think further contact with his father will affect him? What about his relationship with Astyr?
RebelVampire
1) its hard to pick so im picking two. the first one is the scene where sydney is confronted with the fact not all demshull can do magic. i felt at that point in the comic thered been a lot of build up for sydney being confronted with her own racism, and i felt that moment was a great pay off. especially cause sydney's facial expressions in the moment are just fantastic and like she got hit with a ton of bricks. for the second fave scene though, the one where astyr and sydney first meet rana and rana discovers that basically her life is a lie. there was something fantastic in the pacing and atmosphere that really drove home the fact that this was a life changing moment for rana. 2) Astyr. I like how Astyr is sort of this gray character where he's not terrible yet he causes lots of property damage that makes you think Sydney is kind of right about him. And I really just like this complicated dynamic cause it makes you feel unsure about whether to trust him or not. I also love though that deep down hes willing to risk a lot of people he cares about. 3) i actually think it was rana who bound them all, not astyr. theres one moment where rana is looking off into the distance getting internally emotional and then suddenly the alarm about essence going off triggers. and rana is shown to basically be kind of weird where thats concerned, so i think she inadvertantly bound them so she could leave with them. Regardless, I consider it inevitable that they'll become unbounded. While Rana and Astyr will probably be fine, Sydney I think is gonna be most affected. Cause at that point she's either going have to destroy the friendship or admit that Astyr isn't so bad. I assume she'll choose the latter after all the build up, but itll certainly strengthen the relationships since the relationships will have to become by choice and not force.
4) i actually think hannah and vuudo are working for whoever organized the experiments all the half-bred children were part of. cause hannah seems like the type whod do that. so obviously if that's the case, that's why theyre watching astyr. hes their favorite experiment kid and maybe someday hell do something useful. as for kazar, idk. at the moment it just feels like kazar is just doing generic spying, possibly charged with making sure there's no peace to be made (hence why yanell is of interest to her). As for the effect of hte main trio, I think theyre just gonna become public enemy number one for both groups for various reasons, cause theyre clearly super powered weirdos who know too much and should be stopped. 5) I don't think Tenge will go through with it. He'll certainly try, but I think Astyr's pleas are gonna haunt him and he'll hesitate wondering if there is some merit to his father. However, I kind of think Tenge will banish him and still not talk to him. Overall, I think Tenge is gonna start questioning his place in life more. Wonder why he continues when he has to hide out avoiding everyone. As for his relationship with Astyr, eh, it'll probably continue to just be strained cause Astyr has bigger fish to fry right now I think.
Stefan G
@Delphina I have to take additional time to read more comics ... but the first impression is [beautiful cartoons/drawing] ... and the website looks really nice [like how you added a store, archive and how to support your art - good job ... I might steal that ] ... did you code that website yourself or do you hire somebody to do that?
Delphina
Thanks so much! My coder buddy Kemayo built me a very simple webcomic CMS, and the store functionality is powered by Gumroad, but all the HTML/CSS was done by me!
lomcia (princess_lom)
1. DETAILS! It's the best detailed page, colors are nice for eye
2. I don't have yet fav character.... but for now Brendolyn looks ok
And I read it and I need to say, that seeing how your style changed make me impress. I got a question actually, everyone got move to do comic because of some event, movie, game etc. a] Who/what inspired you to do that comic? (I'm asking everyone that question, I just want and need to know!) b] What you feel now, when you look on your comic, how characters develop and how your style improved?
Delphina
Thanks so much! I really had a lot of fun with the colors in this whole scene, so I'm happy you like them! For me: a) Sombulus was a NaNoMango project (like a NaNoWriMo community except for comics) that I started when I was putting off what I thought was going to be my bigger, better story. The main trio of characters and the idea of world-hopping to lots of weird magical places just wouldn't leave me alone. The shape of it has changed a lot, but I'm really happy with where it's gone and it's exciting to be dropping some of the big big spoilers I've had in my head for years! b) I'm going through a lot of Act 3 right now preparing things for print, so I've been staring at pages I did 5 years ago a lot recently. Part of how I designed Sombulus was because I knew it would take a long time, I wanted to incorporate the idea of each world being in a different style. When I didn't have a lot of practice, it was much easier to get the story going in black/white until I got faster at art, but it's also nice to have a built in reason to try different software and brushes. Of course, there's a lot of loose and sloppy anatomy in the past, but I'm the kind of person who really values seeing that as a sign of growth so I'm trying not to update that much and just focus on making parts of the story clearer and more supportive of where it eventually went.
(I know this chat is specifically focused on the comic of the week, so if you want answers from people who aren't me, you might want to ask in #general maybe!)
lomcia (princess_lom)
Yeah, I asked, not everyone is answering, so I'm using week and thirsday bookclub to ask
rae
Nanomango is super good at giving people a kick in the ass for projects. You've done really good with getting it off the ground
Delphina
Thanks, Rae, it's been... whew... a while! Nanomango is a good little group project, though now that I've been at this comic for 9 years, I really think trying to do 30 pages in 30 days (even as sketches) was never going to work for me, and it's never fun to feel like you've failed to meet a goal. But one thing that I think was really good for me was participating year after year gave me sort of a drafting process? Letting what I had done stew and simmer for a few months let me see everything with fresh eyes when I came back, so I could come back the next time and focus on the parts I wanted and cut the parts that didn't seem like good directions anymore.
rae
i feel like it was easier to do 30 comics with the community we had
and yeah, editing is def a thing I wish I could do more for webcomics. >_>
RebelVampire
QUESTION 6. Who or what do you think Rana is? Why was Rana locked away in the Library? What does all this potentially have to do with Rana’s strange abilities that seem to have some ill affects on magic? How will Rana’s abilities affect the group further?
keii4ii
I don't have theories because I'm the type of the reader who just wants to see the answers as they come, but I wanna say I am super curious about this #6.
kayotics
I read the same way, but yeah I’ve been curious about Rana too. Considering some of the recent pages have shown that Sydney has a very strange origin story, it might be safe to assume that Rana is the same. I like that Rana seems to often get the group out of trouble too. Rana has a lot of mystery around her that makes me intrigued to see what the full extent of her abilities are, since I think there’s a lot more to her
Delphina
Rana is so problematic because I love coming up with ideas for her, but it also means I gotta find a million references for gadgets and machines to draw scenes where she does cool things.
kayotics
Rana, the problematic fav
Kezhound - What it Takes
Considering we just found out that Sydney is the daughter of a spear and a magic spring, I'm guessing whatever Rana is, it's a kind of spontaneous creation too. Maybe she's the result of a computer dropped into a magic volcano
it's always possible she IS a machine from another world, one so advanced no one can figure her out
but...have we ever seen her bleed? Or injured?
https://tenor.com/view/arnold-schwarzenegger-blood-leaf-flannel-shirt-gif-3519051
Delphina
I am so here for the Compucano ship
varethane
omg
RebelVampire
QUESTION 7. What do you think happened in the past that ruined Yanell’s peace talk progress? Do you believe that the Kanites and Demshul will continue their fear-mongering ways, or will Yanell advance peace again? What is your reasoning?
RebelVampire
@Kezhound - What it Takes I love this Rana is a machine theory. That is so far from something I would guess, yet would love to see be true to a degree. It fits with all the symptoms.
RebelVampire
6) I think Rana is some mega essence container or something. Like connected to the origin of it all or something like that. It adds up to me why Morphids are so super affected by her presence and why she'd be locked up in the library. You don't just leave your essence power house unattended. You lock them away where they can be "safe." As for future affects, I mean I figure at some point someone somewhere is gonna be like "Hey wait a second weird magic stuff? Isn't that the person we locked in the library?" And then more manhunts ensue. 7) I'm taking a stab in the dark and saying I think it's direct sabotage. Like Yanell's disappearance and entrapement wasn't just happen stance. There is a shadow puppet somewhere making sure that no peace will ever be had. I do think they'll get to peace though. Mostly because I'm an optimist and assume peace will prevail. And also because their entire conflict seems to be based more around fear mongering than actual things they should be that mad about.
Cheshire777
I think that Hannah and Vuudo are working for whoever is messing up Yannell's peace treatys; they're pretty much the only wild cards at this point besides the morphids.
RebelVampire
(the archive for Offshore Comic is now up! https://comicteaparty.com/post/182818407550/february-4th-february-10th-2019-ctp-archive @Stefan G )
so basically its all a giant conspiracy because ppl be hating on peace? O_O @Cheshire777
Stefan G
@RebelVampire Thanks for everything, RebelVampire ... 1) really enjoyed everyone’s comments and suggestions for Offshore. Thanks y’all 2) I also rewrote/fixed the js-code on my website [www.offshorecomic.com] ... now the strips flow smoother and I added a counter in order to better follow your progression. Check it out
Cheshire777
@RebelVampire I'm guessing that the "Big Bad Boss" has some ulterior motive/motives besides just indefinitely extending the war, whether the war is a side effect or that they will profit directly from it (I've just been reading back through the old Akatsuki storyline of Naruto) I have no guess.
RebelVampire
QUESTION 8. Given what’s shown of Astyr’s past, what do you think the experimenters were attempting to do? Why were they targeting half-breed children like Astyr, Cioara, and Tenge? What was their ultimate goal having Astyr explore the Weave?
RebelVampire
8) I feel like theres some power source theyre searching for in the Weave. Maybe a person, maybe just a thing, but they need someone super good at exploring the Weave to find it. I cant fathom why though, albeit i doubt it's anything good. As for why half-breeds, I think it's because they have a different sort of connection with essence and the Weave. Like we've already seen how Rana's strange relationship with essence affects Cioara, and i dont think that's entirely on Rana. I think it's just who Cioara's own strange relationship with it too since plenty of others interact with Rana fine. Either way, I think the experimenters are just trying to figure out if their atypical nature has practical uses for stuff like that.
Cheshire777
8. I think that they were probably recruiting/kidnapping anyone with odd powers, and those three just happened to be half breeds. I think that they briefly refered to other compounds? As for what they are looking for, at this point it could be a whole lot of different things, but a magic/essence/mana/etc store is quite likely.
RebelVampire
QUESTION 9. Do you believe that Astyr and Sydney will be able to successfully restore Sydney’s physical form? How might the ordeal change their relationship? How might it also change Sydney’s views on Demshul in general?
Cheshire777
They probably will, it has been established that Sydney is dissolving: a) Sydney is one of the main characters. b) we're right in the middle of finding out her backstory. She is finding reality at odds with her brainwashing (mosty through experiencing Astyr's memorys) and will have to come to terms with that.
snuffysam
1) act 3. acts 1 & 2 I was like "essence? jumping between worlds? currency? what the heck is going on?". act 3 was like "ohhhh i get what this comic is. it's a bread comic." and i love it.(edited)
2) the combo of vuudo and hannah. something about the way our heroes just keep falling for their lies, the pairing of hannah's planning and vuudo's acting... i just love them.
snuffysam
3) my interpretation is that binding is just something that happens when a demshul tries to bring someone world-hopping. since astyr is inexperienced, he goofed up and brought sydney along for the ride.
snuffysam
4) hannah's doing a truman show starring astyr. no further explanation needed. for kazar, I'm guessing she's just working for the government as a spy in general.
looking at #5, i'm wondering... is tenge & ciora's father a morphid, or the morphid? morphids seem to endlessly divide, and neither tenge nor the morphids seem to have a "hive mind". is it possible that there's just one morphid, and it happens to be in a lot of places at once?
Cheshire777
@snuffysam From what I've observed so far, the Morphid (and Tenge's) multiplication works vaguely like Naruto's shadow clones- when they split all of them have the same base memorys, they have separate experiences and basically act like different people (that are clones of each other ), and when they "regroup" the single has all the experiences of the doubles.(edited)
snuffysam
which would explain why astyr could say something along the lines of "oh, you're one of the ones that recognizes me"
RebelVampire
QUESTION 10. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?
RebelVampire
i assume theyre a single being, but tbf i dont discount the possibility theres multiple morphid originals. in the sense that there were multiple "original" people who split into morphids. just cause it still fits with astyr saying one of the ones that recognize me. cause i highly doubt if theres multiple originals they know whose morphid is whos. again tho, just not discounting the possibility. i do get more of the sense that they were once a single entity.
9) yes because narratively i cant forsee the comic semi-killing off a main character quite yet. and sydney has unresolved matters as well, like her meeting with her old mentor and such. idk if the experience will change her view on demshul, but i think shell come to terms that astyr has some inner demons, is a weirdo, but also has a good heart. and that he isnt out to see sydney's demise. 10) im looking forward to more of everything. i wanna see all the inner turmoils, and i especially want to find more hints as to what the deal with rana is. cause astyr and sydney dont seem to care much rana is a weirdo outside of when she doesnt eat, so i will care enough for the both of them.
Delphina
I just want to thank you all for reading Sombulus! I know it's got... several pages, so I really appreciate folks who make it through everything, and such amazing thoughtful questions and responses!
keii4ii
My brain is a mush right now and I can't articulate my feels thoughtfully, but I really want to say Sombulus updates really help brighten my day, every time. I always look forward new pages and am glad it updates twice a week
Delphina
(Also this discussion made me draw Tenge as Naruto. Poor guy, I torture him so.)
snuffysam
before the chat ends, I just wanted to say that I really love sombulus, and I can't wait to see where it goes next!
RebelVampire
COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!
Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Sombulus this week! Please also give a special thank you to Christina Major for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Sombulus, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!
Read and Comment: http://www.sombulus.com/
Christina Major’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Delphina
Christina Major’s Store: http://www.sombulus.com/store
Christina Major’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/Delphina2k
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paladerp · 6 years
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Time for alcohol feelings
I had a good woeek at work but I’m feeling more and more reclusive outside of it, I’m not talking to people as much, I did at least cope with my IRL friend and let her know my brain’s not behaving nicely and I I LOVE HER and I AM NOT MAD AT HER and I am not avoiding HER SPECIFICALLY but rather everyone and just... strugglng.
I’m doing really good at work though, I feel like I’m actually making a difference for my team, I’m struggling to keep up with all my duties but I’m getting there. I cooked dinner every night this week, and maaaaaaybe I spent too much money buying candles but you know what, whod oesn’t do that sometimes
Sooooo when am I gonna be able to do work and even the minimal social skills again...?
Also I put baileys in strawbery vodka/juice and that was objectively a Bad Decision.
But I am really proud of myself for doing good at work. It’s actually really satisfying and I think I will be able to help make a difference in my team? Like I’m doing things that I would have wanted my manager to do and I think it helps.
IDK man. I’m doing okay just .... super antisocial and anything more than what I currently have on my plate is Too Much Won’t Even Consider It.
And when I have even five minutes with my shitty brain and I alone, I have to second guess EVERYTHING and like ‘oohhhh my friends and family hate me hurr durr here’s ten obscure reasons why’ like the world’s crappiest buzzfeed article. So that’s fun. Like I can feel I’m strained, but I’m holding it together, but I want to be doing more and I can’t. :\
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samanthasroberts · 7 years
Text
Southern Charm Recap: Flamingo-ing Crazy
Evening, party people. Smiling faces, beautiful places, welcome back to another week of . Lets see what bat shit craziness this week has in store.
Cameran solidifies her role as the unofficial protagonist of the show, narrating the opening sequence (and even saying the word bitch. Well, I do declare!) My familys about to make fun of me for debasing myself by watching this show for yet another week. Suck it, dad, this shits entertaining and makes me feel like a very accomplished adult in comparison to these 35-year-old train wrecks. On a side note, Im kind of getting into this theme song. As an extra side note, my TV is broken and everything is green tinted, which is fitting, I feel.
We open with Thomas on the phone with JD, the former bitching about Kathryn (what else is new?). He rolls up to JDs house and cant even say yes to a cup of coffee without breaking out the French. Ugh, I thought that was a one-episode thing. Thomas apparently told Kathryn he wasnt cosigning her lease (after the whole polo fiasco, if you’ll recall) and she went so nuts that she ended up IN THE HOSPITAL AND MAY HAVE GONE INTO LABOR PREMATURELY. Jesus fucking Christ. So now, what does Thomas do? He agrees to cosign.
JD is like, wait, so you call Kathryn and tell her youre not cosigning, she gets upset, and now youre cosigning anyway because you feel bad for her
JD: I upset my wife plenty of times when she was pregnant but she didnt end up in the hospital over it.
Thomas is like, Wow, everybody was righthomegirl really does know how to manipulate.
Apparently Jennifer is the ultimate shadester, she used to date Thomas and screenshotted everything and sent it to Kathryn just to stir shit up. Taking it a bit far, don’t you think?
Thomas: If I can handle prison for six months, I can handle this bullshit for two more months.
Hold up, like actual prison or just being with Kathryn? Maybe that random Facebook commenter was right and I do need to go back and watch the show from season 1.
Cameran is one of those white people who answers the phone with, Yello! and we promptly learn she was up all night with diarrhea. Gross. Shep goes to watch Craig turn in his application for the bar exam because hes so full of shit that nobody believes him unless they see it with their own eyes. Thats gotta hurt, Craig.
Shep rolls up to good ol Gentry HQ and asks Craig how business is doing. Craig starts talking about some BS I zoned out pretty quick listening to, something about a bourbon side and a hotel side of something.Damn, and youre not gonna let Landon get in on this bourbon business? Thats cold, Craig.
Craig has one more step to nail before he can take the bar, and if he doesnt complete it in time he wont be able to take the test. I feel a setup coming on
These guys are literally arguing over which type of adhesive Craig should use to affix his passport photos to his application.
Cameran meets up with Danni, the roast thief from the earlier episode, and another friend for lunch. One of their friends orders a sweet tea instead of wine and they all jump on her immediately to ask if shes pregnant. Like…a girl can’t order a damn sweet tea in the middle of the day without everyone assuming she’s got a bun in the oven? Cameron is SO OBVIOUSLY not ready to be a mother and these bitches wont leave her the fuck alone about it. Newsflash: This is 2016! Women can aspire to more nowadays than just being a mother. Leave Cameran alone!
Cameran has anxiety too, she reveals, and this show is becoming one giant therapy advertisement. Just goes to show you, money cant solve all your problems. Spinoff idea: What if they all go to the same therapist? Also, Cam’s friend is like, because thats totally a cure for a legitimate mental illness. WTF is wrong with you. What decade do these people live in.
Only 15 minutes in and my fingers are already tired from all this ranting. Gonna be a long episode. Also, wtf happened to Whitney? Is he still alive?
Its finally (almost) time for the flamingo party. Yay! Patricia will be photographing this party for her entertainment book whcih, Im sorry, Im definitely buying. They’re going to have a ros tower and idk what that is, but I know I want one. Patricia is explaining those champagne tower things where you pour the champagne in the top of the pyramid and it spills into all the ones at the bottom and is like, No its not. Its basically 3D beer pong without the balls. Just chill.
Wait ok the Gentry is a hotel?? I feel like an idiot but if they wouldve just explained this shit at the beginning we wouldnt be here. Anyway, Landon and Craig are prepping for the party and going to a spa.
Landon: Part of being a Southern belle is being well-kept, which makes you a good person.
Yeah, maybe on the outside. Im not convinced any of you except Cameran are good people on the inside. And maybeee Craig. He seems pretty earnest.
Craig is aiming for Gatsby-ish pink in terms of outfit color and Landon is like, Im sorry, bitch what? Don’t be over there acting like your Southern asses did not fucking invent salmon pink shorts as a menswear item. Yeah, you THOUGHT you could insult us Yankees.
Jennifer called Craig to let him know Kathryn literally made herself sick and is in the hospital, and he of course feels super bad for her. Meanwhile, Landon does not give one shit!
Landon: Ugh here we go with the drama. People go to the hospital every day. Calm the fuck down.
Okay, people also die everyday, does that make dying any less shitty?
Landon: Did she really almost die? Doubt it. TTYL, DGAF, going to the spa.
Jennifer tells Craig that Thomas didn’t visit Kathryn in the hospital. This detail is important later, so keep it in mind.
Landon: Im tired of Kathryn controlling and manipulating everyone with this child, Im not gonna be manipulated by this psychopath.
Landon literally thinks Kathryn got a slight headache and rushed to the ER. Not sure if this is warranted or not but I’m semi impressed by the fact that she can’t even pretend to be mildly concerned.
We see Kathryn and she explains she basically gave herself such high blood pressure that it affected the baby. IDK how you can personally know what your own blood pressure feels like unless youre constantly taking it, but ok.
Kathryn: All this baby and I need is a stable place to live in a not-stressful environment and if Thomas wont help me get a huge-ass house he doesnt deserve to be in my babys life as far as Im concerned.
Bonus round: Kathryn manipulates Thomas into helping her move, too.
Kathryn: Cosigning on this house is the least he could do for me at this point. YOU MEAN ASIDE FROM THE LIKE $2500 YOU GET A MONTH? YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT FROM LAST EPISODE, IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT.
Back at Patricias house where shes still setting up for the flamingo party. God damn, they are milking it.
Patricia: I grew up in the 50s. Mothers wore dresses and high heels and had their hair and makeup done. Ive always maintained you have to put on the dog and try to ge as glamorous as you can.
IDK what putting on the dog means but thats gonna be my next getting ready Instagram caption.
Sligthly disappointed there are no real flamingos at this flamingo party. I was definitely holding out for some exotic birds to be present.
Thomas saying yeah, pop that is the most uncomfortable Ive been all evening, even if they are referring to a bottle of wine.
Thomas is setting Landon up with some dude with a ponytail who I feel like is probably her kryptonite since he seem like the type of dude whod call himself an artist, too. Landon also greets everyone with bonsoir. Can we fucking stop pretending we’re European?
Patricia has a fortune teller at her party. What a rager. I am very sad I did not get an invite. Patricia, if youre reading this, I can clean up really well and I wont get belligerent drunk, which is more than I can say of at least half your guests. Hook a girl up.
This is the first/most weve seen of Whitney in like, two weeks. Some girl said hi to Shep and called him babe and I can see the smoke coming out of Landons ears. OMG JUST HIT ON HIM ALREADY, THIS IS SO PATHETIC TO WATCH.
Craig got Patricia this gaudy flamingo-decorated martini glass and Patricia just HAS to drop that she has 18th-century porcelain. Calm down, Patricia, nobody doubts that you have class. You don’t need to be so ostentatious.
Whitney: Trying to watch Thomas flirt with girls is like trying to watch your horny drunk uncle.
YES. SPOT ON. Somebody give Whitney more screen time!
Cameran shows up poss wasted and with a huge flamingo hat. Cameran is me in college, committing to the theme so hard she doesn’t care if she looks ridiculous.
Five seconds into the party, and Shep is already naked and in the pool. Don’t you know this is a classy affair??
Craig confronts Thomas about Kathryns hospital visit and asks if he saw her. Thomas is likeand Craig is like *sips wine*
Shit-starting Jen may or may not be lying about Thomas not going to visit Kathryn. It’s about to get real.
Craig: One of the reasons Thomas hates Jen so much is because she was supposed to be the fun mistress and wasnt supposed to stick around and meddle in his affairs.
THE PLOT THICKENS. Who can we trust? Nobody, really. Everybodys conniving af. Except Cameran. Im really liking her. Can you tell?
Some girl Bailey asked Landon if she and Shep have ever fucked, or even kissed.
Landon: I’m not gonna lie, theres sometimes I wonder if Shep and I could be in a relationship but I dont wanna risk getting hurt.
Landon. OMG. You are more transparent than every Kardashian PR stunt ever. You clearly wonder ALL THE TIME if you and Shep could be in a relationship, why youre not, when hes going to wake up and realize youre the one for him
Shep gets his fortune told and the fortune teller is like and Sheps like and everyones like Shep is just making a bunch of thats what she said jokes like the mature gentleman he is. Landon, you picked a real winner.
The gay dude who visited Kathryn earlier in the first episode (idk his name, go cross-reference my other recap if you really care that much) pulls Patricia aside to be like
Patricia: I think its very unattractive that hes friends with Kathryn Dennis. Its very low-rent to me. (Yes, she actually used the words “low-rent.”)
Dude whose name I 100% forgot: Its very clear what Patricia sees in Kathryn that she doesnt like: she sees herself.
Patricia calls this dude a knockoff Truman Capote. I gotta say, the South has got their shit-talking on point.
Jen shows up and we already know its going to be good. Thomas is not pleased and calls her a piece of trash. HERE WE GO.
Thomas: Tell this chick Im going to throw her in the pool. JD: You dont need another assault charge, homie.
One things for sure: some type of confrontation is about to go down.
JD is talking about doing another polo match. Jen is likeaka,
Thomas is watching Jen talk to Elizabeth and JD and hes just seething over there. FWIW, Elizabeth seems like a very nice woman. Jen does not, really. Thomas pulls Jen aside.
Thomas: Craig told me you told him I didn’t see Kathryn in the hospital Jen: I meant you didnt stay overnight
Cut to: Jen definitely in plain English saying that Thomas wasnt there at all.
Then Jen criticizes Thomas for only being there for two hours. Like, splitting hairs much? Youre just looking for a reason to shit on him.
Jen: If Thomas is criticizing me for putting Kathryns health at risk, he needs to take a long hard look in the mirror and then go play in traffic.
Thomas: A blind person could see through these lies.
They have a lie vs. misunderstanding argument for like 30 seconds before Thomas tells Jennifer to fuck off.
Jennifer: Im the only friend Kathryn trusts. It would be nice if the father of her kids was the other one.
Thomas thinks its Jens mission in life to wreck his life and make him out to be the enemy.
Jen: Im torn between completely cussing him out and telling him how I really feel, or just feeling sorry for him because hes truly delusional.
AKA how I feel watching this show.
Jens like, and Thomas is like And I’m like:
Patricia is not going to like this argument. Very not luxe.
Just when you think punches are about to fly, they both walk away from the argument. Phew, dodged a bullet. Or like, an assault charge.
JD: Thomas and Kathryn have enough problems, Jennifer doesnt need to add to them. This dams gonna break.
Exciting news tidbit: Thomas pronounces water like wooder.
Whats the first thing Jennifer does after being accused of starting drama? She fucking calls Kathryn from the porch of Patricias house! Whitney is like because his mom has to fight his battles. Everybodys gathered to watch while acting like theyre too classy to watch. Jennifer leaves on her own accord, fuck this show for being anticlimactic AF. I wanted an eviction!
Jennifer: I know what Kathryns going through because now I’m the one nobody likes.
Thomas: I can take a lot. Imprisonment, false political allegations, but do not mess with my family. It’s only okay when I treat Kathryn like shit.
Jennifer leaves yelling and once again this show is so fucking anticlimactic! You built up this party for three fucking episodes and what did we get? A heated argument from which both adults walk away on their own accord, and not even one person gets thrown out? Give me some damn drama, give me a fucking cliffhanger! Come on, Bravo! Do better.
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Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/05/27/southern-charm-recap-flamingo-ing-crazy/
from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/05/27/southern-charm-recap-flamingo-ing-crazy/
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adambstingus · 7 years
Text
Southern Charm Recap: Flamingo-ing Crazy
Evening, party people. Smiling faces, beautiful places, welcome back to another week of . Lets see what bat shit craziness this week has in store.
Cameran solidifies her role as the unofficial protagonist of the show, narrating the opening sequence (and even saying the word bitch. Well, I do declare!) My familys about to make fun of me for debasing myself by watching this show for yet another week. Suck it, dad, this shits entertaining and makes me feel like a very accomplished adult in comparison to these 35-year-old train wrecks. On a side note, Im kind of getting into this theme song. As an extra side note, my TV is broken and everything is green tinted, which is fitting, I feel.
We open with Thomas on the phone with JD, the former bitching about Kathryn (what else is new?). He rolls up to JDs house and cant even say yes to a cup of coffee without breaking out the French. Ugh, I thought that was a one-episode thing. Thomas apparently told Kathryn he wasnt cosigning her lease (after the whole polo fiasco, if you’ll recall) and she went so nuts that she ended up IN THE HOSPITAL AND MAY HAVE GONE INTO LABOR PREMATURELY. Jesus fucking Christ. So now, what does Thomas do? He agrees to cosign.
JD is like, wait, so you call Kathryn and tell her youre not cosigning, she gets upset, and now youre cosigning anyway because you feel bad for her
JD: I upset my wife plenty of times when she was pregnant but she didnt end up in the hospital over it.
Thomas is like, Wow, everybody was righthomegirl really does know how to manipulate.
Apparently Jennifer is the ultimate shadester, she used to date Thomas and screenshotted everything and sent it to Kathryn just to stir shit up. Taking it a bit far, don’t you think?
Thomas: If I can handle prison for six months, I can handle this bullshit for two more months.
Hold up, like actual prison or just being with Kathryn? Maybe that random Facebook commenter was right and I do need to go back and watch the show from season 1.
Cameran is one of those white people who answers the phone with, Yello! and we promptly learn she was up all night with diarrhea. Gross. Shep goes to watch Craig turn in his application for the bar exam because hes so full of shit that nobody believes him unless they see it with their own eyes. Thats gotta hurt, Craig.
Shep rolls up to good ol Gentry HQ and asks Craig how business is doing. Craig starts talking about some BS I zoned out pretty quick listening to, something about a bourbon side and a hotel side of something.Damn, and youre not gonna let Landon get in on this bourbon business? Thats cold, Craig.
Craig has one more step to nail before he can take the bar, and if he doesnt complete it in time he wont be able to take the test. I feel a setup coming on
These guys are literally arguing over which type of adhesive Craig should use to affix his passport photos to his application.
Cameran meets up with Danni, the roast thief from the earlier episode, and another friend for lunch. One of their friends orders a sweet tea instead of wine and they all jump on her immediately to ask if shes pregnant. Like…a girl can’t order a damn sweet tea in the middle of the day without everyone assuming she’s got a bun in the oven? Cameron is SO OBVIOUSLY not ready to be a mother and these bitches wont leave her the fuck alone about it. Newsflash: This is 2016! Women can aspire to more nowadays than just being a mother. Leave Cameran alone!
Cameran has anxiety too, she reveals, and this show is becoming one giant therapy advertisement. Just goes to show you, money cant solve all your problems. Spinoff idea: What if they all go to the same therapist? Also, Cam’s friend is like, because thats totally a cure for a legitimate mental illness. WTF is wrong with you. What decade do these people live in.
Only 15 minutes in and my fingers are already tired from all this ranting. Gonna be a long episode. Also, wtf happened to Whitney? Is he still alive?
Its finally (almost) time for the flamingo party. Yay! Patricia will be photographing this party for her entertainment book whcih, Im sorry, Im definitely buying. They’re going to have a ros tower and idk what that is, but I know I want one. Patricia is explaining those champagne tower things where you pour the champagne in the top of the pyramid and it spills into all the ones at the bottom and is like, No its not. Its basically 3D beer pong without the balls. Just chill.
Wait ok the Gentry is a hotel?? I feel like an idiot but if they wouldve just explained this shit at the beginning we wouldnt be here. Anyway, Landon and Craig are prepping for the party and going to a spa.
Landon: Part of being a Southern belle is being well-kept, which makes you a good person.
Yeah, maybe on the outside. Im not convinced any of you except Cameran are good people on the inside. And maybeee Craig. He seems pretty earnest.
Craig is aiming for Gatsby-ish pink in terms of outfit color and Landon is like, Im sorry, bitch what? Don’t be over there acting like your Southern asses did not fucking invent salmon pink shorts as a menswear item. Yeah, you THOUGHT you could insult us Yankees.
Jennifer called Craig to let him know Kathryn literally made herself sick and is in the hospital, and he of course feels super bad for her. Meanwhile, Landon does not give one shit!
Landon: Ugh here we go with the drama. People go to the hospital every day. Calm the fuck down.
Okay, people also die everyday, does that make dying any less shitty?
Landon: Did she really almost die? Doubt it. TTYL, DGAF, going to the spa.
Jennifer tells Craig that Thomas didn’t visit Kathryn in the hospital. This detail is important later, so keep it in mind.
Landon: Im tired of Kathryn controlling and manipulating everyone with this child, Im not gonna be manipulated by this psychopath.
Landon literally thinks Kathryn got a slight headache and rushed to the ER. Not sure if this is warranted or not but I’m semi impressed by the fact that she can’t even pretend to be mildly concerned.
We see Kathryn and she explains she basically gave herself such high blood pressure that it affected the baby. IDK how you can personally know what your own blood pressure feels like unless youre constantly taking it, but ok.
Kathryn: All this baby and I need is a stable place to live in a not-stressful environment and if Thomas wont help me get a huge-ass house he doesnt deserve to be in my babys life as far as Im concerned.
Bonus round: Kathryn manipulates Thomas into helping her move, too.
Kathryn: Cosigning on this house is the least he could do for me at this point. YOU MEAN ASIDE FROM THE LIKE $2500 YOU GET A MONTH? YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT FROM LAST EPISODE, IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT.
Back at Patricias house where shes still setting up for the flamingo party. God damn, they are milking it.
Patricia: I grew up in the 50s. Mothers wore dresses and high heels and had their hair and makeup done. Ive always maintained you have to put on the dog and try to ge as glamorous as you can.
IDK what putting on the dog means but thats gonna be my next getting ready Instagram caption.
Sligthly disappointed there are no real flamingos at this flamingo party. I was definitely holding out for some exotic birds to be present.
Thomas saying yeah, pop that is the most uncomfortable Ive been all evening, even if they are referring to a bottle of wine.
Thomas is setting Landon up with some dude with a ponytail who I feel like is probably her kryptonite since he seem like the type of dude whod call himself an artist, too. Landon also greets everyone with bonsoir. Can we fucking stop pretending we’re European?
Patricia has a fortune teller at her party. What a rager. I am very sad I did not get an invite. Patricia, if youre reading this, I can clean up really well and I wont get belligerent drunk, which is more than I can say of at least half your guests. Hook a girl up.
This is the first/most weve seen of Whitney in like, two weeks. Some girl said hi to Shep and called him babe and I can see the smoke coming out of Landons ears. OMG JUST HIT ON HIM ALREADY, THIS IS SO PATHETIC TO WATCH.
Craig got Patricia this gaudy flamingo-decorated martini glass and Patricia just HAS to drop that she has 18th-century porcelain. Calm down, Patricia, nobody doubts that you have class. You don’t need to be so ostentatious.
Whitney: Trying to watch Thomas flirt with girls is like trying to watch your horny drunk uncle.
YES. SPOT ON. Somebody give Whitney more screen time!
Cameran shows up poss wasted and with a huge flamingo hat. Cameran is me in college, committing to the theme so hard she doesn’t care if she looks ridiculous.
Five seconds into the party, and Shep is already naked and in the pool. Don’t you know this is a classy affair??
Craig confronts Thomas about Kathryns hospital visit and asks if he saw her. Thomas is likeand Craig is like *sips wine*
Shit-starting Jen may or may not be lying about Thomas not going to visit Kathryn. It’s about to get real.
Craig: One of the reasons Thomas hates Jen so much is because she was supposed to be the fun mistress and wasnt supposed to stick around and meddle in his affairs.
THE PLOT THICKENS. Who can we trust? Nobody, really. Everybodys conniving af. Except Cameran. Im really liking her. Can you tell?
Some girl Bailey asked Landon if she and Shep have ever fucked, or even kissed.
Landon: I’m not gonna lie, theres sometimes I wonder if Shep and I could be in a relationship but I dont wanna risk getting hurt.
Landon. OMG. You are more transparent than every Kardashian PR stunt ever. You clearly wonder ALL THE TIME if you and Shep could be in a relationship, why youre not, when hes going to wake up and realize youre the one for him
Shep gets his fortune told and the fortune teller is like and Sheps like and everyones like Shep is just making a bunch of thats what she said jokes like the mature gentleman he is. Landon, you picked a real winner.
The gay dude who visited Kathryn earlier in the first episode (idk his name, go cross-reference my other recap if you really care that much) pulls Patricia aside to be like
Patricia: I think its very unattractive that hes friends with Kathryn Dennis. Its very low-rent to me. (Yes, she actually used the words “low-rent.”)
Dude whose name I 100% forgot: Its very clear what Patricia sees in Kathryn that she doesnt like: she sees herself.
Patricia calls this dude a knockoff Truman Capote. I gotta say, the South has got their shit-talking on point.
Jen shows up and we already know its going to be good. Thomas is not pleased and calls her a piece of trash. HERE WE GO.
Thomas: Tell this chick Im going to throw her in the pool. JD: You dont need another assault charge, homie.
One things for sure: some type of confrontation is about to go down.
JD is talking about doing another polo match. Jen is likeaka,
Thomas is watching Jen talk to Elizabeth and JD and hes just seething over there. FWIW, Elizabeth seems like a very nice woman. Jen does not, really. Thomas pulls Jen aside.
Thomas: Craig told me you told him I didn’t see Kathryn in the hospital Jen: I meant you didnt stay overnight
Cut to: Jen definitely in plain English saying that Thomas wasnt there at all.
Then Jen criticizes Thomas for only being there for two hours. Like, splitting hairs much? Youre just looking for a reason to shit on him.
Jen: If Thomas is criticizing me for putting Kathryns health at risk, he needs to take a long hard look in the mirror and then go play in traffic.
Thomas: A blind person could see through these lies.
They have a lie vs. misunderstanding argument for like 30 seconds before Thomas tells Jennifer to fuck off.
Jennifer: Im the only friend Kathryn trusts. It would be nice if the father of her kids was the other one.
Thomas thinks its Jens mission in life to wreck his life and make him out to be the enemy.
Jen: Im torn between completely cussing him out and telling him how I really feel, or just feeling sorry for him because hes truly delusional.
AKA how I feel watching this show.
Jens like, and Thomas is like And I’m like:
Patricia is not going to like this argument. Very not luxe.
Just when you think punches are about to fly, they both walk away from the argument. Phew, dodged a bullet. Or like, an assault charge.
JD: Thomas and Kathryn have enough problems, Jennifer doesnt need to add to them. This dams gonna break.
Exciting news tidbit: Thomas pronounces water like wooder.
Whats the first thing Jennifer does after being accused of starting drama? She fucking calls Kathryn from the porch of Patricias house! Whitney is like because his mom has to fight his battles. Everybodys gathered to watch while acting like theyre too classy to watch. Jennifer leaves on her own accord, fuck this show for being anticlimactic AF. I wanted an eviction!
Jennifer: I know what Kathryns going through because now I’m the one nobody likes.
Thomas: I can take a lot. Imprisonment, false political allegations, but do not mess with my family. It’s only okay when I treat Kathryn like shit.
Jennifer leaves yelling and once again this show is so fucking anticlimactic! You built up this party for three fucking episodes and what did we get? A heated argument from which both adults walk away on their own accord, and not even one person gets thrown out? Give me some damn drama, give me a fucking cliffhanger! Come on, Bravo! Do better.
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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/05/27/southern-charm-recap-flamingo-ing-crazy/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/161120493767
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allofbeercom · 7 years
Text
Southern Charm Recap: Flamingo-ing Crazy
Evening, party people. Smiling faces, beautiful places, welcome back to another week of . Lets see what bat shit craziness this week has in store.
Cameran solidifies her role as the unofficial protagonist of the show, narrating the opening sequence (and even saying the word bitch. Well, I do declare!) My familys about to make fun of me for debasing myself by watching this show for yet another week. Suck it, dad, this shits entertaining and makes me feel like a very accomplished adult in comparison to these 35-year-old train wrecks. On a side note, Im kind of getting into this theme song. As an extra side note, my TV is broken and everything is green tinted, which is fitting, I feel.
We open with Thomas on the phone with JD, the former bitching about Kathryn (what else is new?). He rolls up to JDs house and cant even say yes to a cup of coffee without breaking out the French. Ugh, I thought that was a one-episode thing. Thomas apparently told Kathryn he wasnt cosigning her lease (after the whole polo fiasco, if you’ll recall) and she went so nuts that she ended up IN THE HOSPITAL AND MAY HAVE GONE INTO LABOR PREMATURELY. Jesus fucking Christ. So now, what does Thomas do? He agrees to cosign.
JD is like, wait, so you call Kathryn and tell her youre not cosigning, she gets upset, and now youre cosigning anyway because you feel bad for her
JD: I upset my wife plenty of times when she was pregnant but she didnt end up in the hospital over it.
Thomas is like, Wow, everybody was righthomegirl really does know how to manipulate.
Apparently Jennifer is the ultimate shadester, she used to date Thomas and screenshotted everything and sent it to Kathryn just to stir shit up. Taking it a bit far, don’t you think?
Thomas: If I can handle prison for six months, I can handle this bullshit for two more months.
Hold up, like actual prison or just being with Kathryn? Maybe that random Facebook commenter was right and I do need to go back and watch the show from season 1.
Cameran is one of those white people who answers the phone with, Yello! and we promptly learn she was up all night with diarrhea. Gross. Shep goes to watch Craig turn in his application for the bar exam because hes so full of shit that nobody believes him unless they see it with their own eyes. Thats gotta hurt, Craig.
Shep rolls up to good ol Gentry HQ and asks Craig how business is doing. Craig starts talking about some BS I zoned out pretty quick listening to, something about a bourbon side and a hotel side of something.Damn, and youre not gonna let Landon get in on this bourbon business? Thats cold, Craig.
Craig has one more step to nail before he can take the bar, and if he doesnt complete it in time he wont be able to take the test. I feel a setup coming on
These guys are literally arguing over which type of adhesive Craig should use to affix his passport photos to his application.
Cameran meets up with Danni, the roast thief from the earlier episode, and another friend for lunch. One of their friends orders a sweet tea instead of wine and they all jump on her immediately to ask if shes pregnant. Like…a girl can’t order a damn sweet tea in the middle of the day without everyone assuming she’s got a bun in the oven? Cameron is SO OBVIOUSLY not ready to be a mother and these bitches wont leave her the fuck alone about it. Newsflash: This is 2016! Women can aspire to more nowadays than just being a mother. Leave Cameran alone!
Cameran has anxiety too, she reveals, and this show is becoming one giant therapy advertisement. Just goes to show you, money cant solve all your problems. Spinoff idea: What if they all go to the same therapist? Also, Cam’s friend is like, because thats totally a cure for a legitimate mental illness. WTF is wrong with you. What decade do these people live in.
Only 15 minutes in and my fingers are already tired from all this ranting. Gonna be a long episode. Also, wtf happened to Whitney? Is he still alive?
Its finally (almost) time for the flamingo party. Yay! Patricia will be photographing this party for her entertainment book whcih, Im sorry, Im definitely buying. They’re going to have a ros tower and idk what that is, but I know I want one. Patricia is explaining those champagne tower things where you pour the champagne in the top of the pyramid and it spills into all the ones at the bottom and is like, No its not. Its basically 3D beer pong without the balls. Just chill.
Wait ok the Gentry is a hotel?? I feel like an idiot but if they wouldve just explained this shit at the beginning we wouldnt be here. Anyway, Landon and Craig are prepping for the party and going to a spa.
Landon: Part of being a Southern belle is being well-kept, which makes you a good person.
Yeah, maybe on the outside. Im not convinced any of you except Cameran are good people on the inside. And maybeee Craig. He seems pretty earnest.
Craig is aiming for Gatsby-ish pink in terms of outfit color and Landon is like, Im sorry, bitch what? Don’t be over there acting like your Southern asses did not fucking invent salmon pink shorts as a menswear item. Yeah, you THOUGHT you could insult us Yankees.
Jennifer called Craig to let him know Kathryn literally made herself sick and is in the hospital, and he of course feels super bad for her. Meanwhile, Landon does not give one shit!
Landon: Ugh here we go with the drama. People go to the hospital every day. Calm the fuck down.
Okay, people also die everyday, does that make dying any less shitty?
Landon: Did she really almost die? Doubt it. TTYL, DGAF, going to the spa.
Jennifer tells Craig that Thomas didn’t visit Kathryn in the hospital. This detail is important later, so keep it in mind.
Landon: Im tired of Kathryn controlling and manipulating everyone with this child, Im not gonna be manipulated by this psychopath.
Landon literally thinks Kathryn got a slight headache and rushed to the ER. Not sure if this is warranted or not but I’m semi impressed by the fact that she can’t even pretend to be mildly concerned.
We see Kathryn and she explains she basically gave herself such high blood pressure that it affected the baby. IDK how you can personally know what your own blood pressure feels like unless youre constantly taking it, but ok.
Kathryn: All this baby and I need is a stable place to live in a not-stressful environment and if Thomas wont help me get a huge-ass house he doesnt deserve to be in my babys life as far as Im concerned.
Bonus round: Kathryn manipulates Thomas into helping her move, too.
Kathryn: Cosigning on this house is the least he could do for me at this point. YOU MEAN ASIDE FROM THE LIKE $2500 YOU GET A MONTH? YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT FROM LAST EPISODE, IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT.
Back at Patricias house where shes still setting up for the flamingo party. God damn, they are milking it.
Patricia: I grew up in the 50s. Mothers wore dresses and high heels and had their hair and makeup done. Ive always maintained you have to put on the dog and try to ge as glamorous as you can.
IDK what putting on the dog means but thats gonna be my next getting ready Instagram caption.
Sligthly disappointed there are no real flamingos at this flamingo party. I was definitely holding out for some exotic birds to be present.
Thomas saying yeah, pop that is the most uncomfortable Ive been all evening, even if they are referring to a bottle of wine.
Thomas is setting Landon up with some dude with a ponytail who I feel like is probably her kryptonite since he seem like the type of dude whod call himself an artist, too. Landon also greets everyone with bonsoir. Can we fucking stop pretending we’re European?
Patricia has a fortune teller at her party. What a rager. I am very sad I did not get an invite. Patricia, if youre reading this, I can clean up really well and I wont get belligerent drunk, which is more than I can say of at least half your guests. Hook a girl up.
This is the first/most weve seen of Whitney in like, two weeks. Some girl said hi to Shep and called him babe and I can see the smoke coming out of Landons ears. OMG JUST HIT ON HIM ALREADY, THIS IS SO PATHETIC TO WATCH.
Craig got Patricia this gaudy flamingo-decorated martini glass and Patricia just HAS to drop that she has 18th-century porcelain. Calm down, Patricia, nobody doubts that you have class. You don’t need to be so ostentatious.
Whitney: Trying to watch Thomas flirt with girls is like trying to watch your horny drunk uncle.
YES. SPOT ON. Somebody give Whitney more screen time!
Cameran shows up poss wasted and with a huge flamingo hat. Cameran is me in college, committing to the theme so hard she doesn’t care if she looks ridiculous.
Five seconds into the party, and Shep is already naked and in the pool. Don’t you know this is a classy affair??
Craig confronts Thomas about Kathryns hospital visit and asks if he saw her. Thomas is likeand Craig is like *sips wine*
Shit-starting Jen may or may not be lying about Thomas not going to visit Kathryn. It’s about to get real.
Craig: One of the reasons Thomas hates Jen so much is because she was supposed to be the fun mistress and wasnt supposed to stick around and meddle in his affairs.
THE PLOT THICKENS. Who can we trust? Nobody, really. Everybodys conniving af. Except Cameran. Im really liking her. Can you tell?
Some girl Bailey asked Landon if she and Shep have ever fucked, or even kissed.
Landon: I’m not gonna lie, theres sometimes I wonder if Shep and I could be in a relationship but I dont wanna risk getting hurt.
Landon. OMG. You are more transparent than every Kardashian PR stunt ever. You clearly wonder ALL THE TIME if you and Shep could be in a relationship, why youre not, when hes going to wake up and realize youre the one for him
Shep gets his fortune told and the fortune teller is like and Sheps like and everyones like Shep is just making a bunch of thats what she said jokes like the mature gentleman he is. Landon, you picked a real winner.
The gay dude who visited Kathryn earlier in the first episode (idk his name, go cross-reference my other recap if you really care that much) pulls Patricia aside to be like
Patricia: I think its very unattractive that hes friends with Kathryn Dennis. Its very low-rent to me. (Yes, she actually used the words “low-rent.”)
Dude whose name I 100% forgot: Its very clear what Patricia sees in Kathryn that she doesnt like: she sees herself.
Patricia calls this dude a knockoff Truman Capote. I gotta say, the South has got their shit-talking on point.
Jen shows up and we already know its going to be good. Thomas is not pleased and calls her a piece of trash. HERE WE GO.
Thomas: Tell this chick Im going to throw her in the pool. JD: You dont need another assault charge, homie.
One things for sure: some type of confrontation is about to go down.
JD is talking about doing another polo match. Jen is likeaka,
Thomas is watching Jen talk to Elizabeth and JD and hes just seething over there. FWIW, Elizabeth seems like a very nice woman. Jen does not, really. Thomas pulls Jen aside.
Thomas: Craig told me you told him I didn’t see Kathryn in the hospital Jen: I meant you didnt stay overnight
Cut to: Jen definitely in plain English saying that Thomas wasnt there at all.
Then Jen criticizes Thomas for only being there for two hours. Like, splitting hairs much? Youre just looking for a reason to shit on him.
Jen: If Thomas is criticizing me for putting Kathryns health at risk, he needs to take a long hard look in the mirror and then go play in traffic.
Thomas: A blind person could see through these lies.
They have a lie vs. misunderstanding argument for like 30 seconds before Thomas tells Jennifer to fuck off.
Jennifer: Im the only friend Kathryn trusts. It would be nice if the father of her kids was the other one.
Thomas thinks its Jens mission in life to wreck his life and make him out to be the enemy.
Jen: Im torn between completely cussing him out and telling him how I really feel, or just feeling sorry for him because hes truly delusional.
AKA how I feel watching this show.
Jens like, and Thomas is like And I’m like:
Patricia is not going to like this argument. Very not luxe.
Just when you think punches are about to fly, they both walk away from the argument. Phew, dodged a bullet. Or like, an assault charge.
JD: Thomas and Kathryn have enough problems, Jennifer doesnt need to add to them. This dams gonna break.
Exciting news tidbit: Thomas pronounces water like wooder.
Whats the first thing Jennifer does after being accused of starting drama? She fucking calls Kathryn from the porch of Patricias house! Whitney is like because his mom has to fight his battles. Everybodys gathered to watch while acting like theyre too classy to watch. Jennifer leaves on her own accord, fuck this show for being anticlimactic AF. I wanted an eviction!
Jennifer: I know what Kathryns going through because now I’m the one nobody likes.
Thomas: I can take a lot. Imprisonment, false political allegations, but do not mess with my family. It’s only okay when I treat Kathryn like shit.
Jennifer leaves yelling and once again this show is so fucking anticlimactic! You built up this party for three fucking episodes and what did we get? A heated argument from which both adults walk away on their own accord, and not even one person gets thrown out? Give me some damn drama, give me a fucking cliffhanger! Come on, Bravo! Do better.
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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/05/27/southern-charm-recap-flamingo-ing-crazy/
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