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mojwisungie · 3 years

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imgn | Restart (enemy to lover! jisung)

req (from: anon) ➥ : hi, i really like your writings and! if its ok, can i request a jisung x reader enemies to lovers headcannon? jisung is always teasing and trying to beat the reader at everything and one day he was teasing her and she had enough of it that shouted at him and cried infront of alot of students, and this shocks everybody since the reader is always calm and soft spoken:( the ending can be up to you!💚

☄︎ with: park jisung ☄︎ lou.note: omg. i did not intend to write so much for this like idk i got carried away and i think its too long 😶 added the bonus part for context lol enjoy !!

your life is pretty sweet

honestly, you dont think of changing any aspect of it

youre good in school too

you have decent grades, great friends

but there is one thing that bothers you often

actually, one person

and its park jisung

and its not that you arent nice or something, bc everyone practically treats you as a friend actually

and you dont hate him, bc thats such a strong word

but you dont exactly like him either

he pushes all your buttons

and usually you’d laugh it off

youre used to joking around with people and youre not that sensitive

but jisung... man does that boy have the a u d a c i t y

you havent talked to him even once before he teased you for having a lower grade than him

so when he did that, you only smiled since it really wasnt that much of an insult to you

but then it got more frequent

he would often poke at you for doing the most basic things

you get a score a point lower than his again? you’ll hear his snarky remark about it the second he knows about it

you got elected as an officer in the class? of course he’ll say youre such a darling

you dropped a pen? there will be a quiet under-the-breath “clumsy” as soon as you pick it up

he also has this weird habit of scoffing whenever you outdo him

bc he scoffed when you perfected that presentation in dance class AND when you also got a higher grade than him on another

all these mockery is always rewarded by only an eye roll for you

since causing a scene isnt like you so you often

and somehow in some way, you hope he’ll back off

but one particular day, you were really having not such a good time

you were almost late bc you almost forgot your due project

which caused you to walk back to your house and also caused you to miss the bus so you had to walk

the moment you enter the class, jisung’s eyes is already on you

you actually prayed for him to shut it bc you’d usually hear something from him the moment you step in the class

you thought you were safe

but when you sat on your seat, he said, “you look worse today y/n, and thats not nice bc you look awful everyday, dont you thi-”

you startle him as you loudly tell him to shut up

followed with “i dont know what ive done for you to make fun of me everyday, cant you just leave me alone?!”

you didnt know you were crying until one tear fell on your cheek

some of your friends tried to help calm you down immediately and ask if you were okay, while some tried to confront jisung if he has any problem with you

he couldnt answer them he’s so shocked to see you cry

before he could apologize, your teacher enters the class prompting you to wipe the tears away and tell your friends that youre fine

from the way that you look, everyone knows you arent but lets you be as the class starts

the day goes by surprisingly well for you after that

what you didnt know was everyone was trying to not let jisung get close to you bc he might make you cry again

but jisung feels so guilty :( he wants to say sorry before this day ends

or else it might be too late for him to tell you the truth

so at dismissal, he waits for you by the gates bc he knows you stay in the library for a few before going home

on your way out, he tries to stop you and says

“hi y/n, uhm, i-im sorry for today, i didnt know you were going to cry.. actually i didnt know i was going too far with the teasi-”

you cut him off saying “oh uhm, its fine. dont worry about it. i know you dont like me so-”

“what? no, its not that i dont like you! i actually- uh- i mean-”

you dont really know whats he’s pointing so you wait for him to find the right words to tell you

a few more seconds pass and he goes

“i dont dont like you... i actually like you. its just someone told me that maybe if i tease you, we’d grow close and it was partially true because you'd only notice me when i do so.”

he continues with “i know it’s too much for me to ask since ive hurt you, and im really sorry for doing that but i hope you could give me a chance. i hope we could...restart?”

seeing the incomprehensible look (for jisung) on your face, he stutters with saying how its totally fine if you dont want to and he’d be okay to distance himself from you

but you answer him with

“sure. i’d love to restart with you.”

and from then on, it would only be love from him to you

bonus:

you know who actually told jisung to tease his crush?

chenle. he’s his bestfriend who told him to do it so he’ll have a chance with you

the moment he heads home, he doesnt go to his house, he goes marching to chenle’s

he greets his friend with a punch on the arm

chenle shouts in pain and asks “what the hell is that for?!”

so jisung answers him “your dumb plan made them cry! and i had to say sorry and tell them how i really feel about them all in one day”

and chenle bites back with “you mean my smart idea made you confess and have a chance with her? youre welcome”

they talk about what happened for a while until jisung asks him if knows what good gift he should give you

so expect to receive a cute (and kinda expensive) necklace the next day lol

also expect for more adorable gifts and heart-melting moments as you and jisung get together for the years that’ll come

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vagarius · 4 years

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misukazu 21

(if you saw me fuck up the other one no you didnt)

EDIT I THINK THIS ONE GOT A LITTLE FUCKED UP TOO BUT IT’S... READABLE...

questions from this post, and answers originally written for this thread!!

If you had to change the pairing’s very first meeting, how would you change it? their canon first meeting is already so good SHDGFLJASHG but if i had to choose a different one that's still within the context of mankai... meeting as kids and losing touch and coming back together completely different at mankai

What song fits your pairing the most? uhhHHhhHHH i don't have a real answer but i do have a partial playlist for one of my misukazu aus and the only two songs in it are furaregai girl by sayuri and champagne's for celebrating by mayday parade and i feel like that says enough sldhgalsdhfalsh

What is your favorite AU/prompt idea/trope for your pairing? ALL MISUKAZU AUS ARE GOOD but. i really love any au where their first meeting is in the future and both are still kind of lost but they're Older and it's hard to let themselves fall into the easy trust they find in canon. i just think that'd be neat.

Do you prefer canon ideas or do you have your own headcanons for them? I'VE SAID THIS MANY TIMES BUT CANON MISUKAZU GIVES OFF MADE FOR EACH OTHER VIBES AND USUALLY I DON'T VIBE WITH THAT BUT THEY REALLY ARE WHAT THE OTHER NEEDS... AND I THINK EVEN IF THEY HAD TO PART THEY'D STILL BE ABLE TO BE BETTER PEOPLE BC THEY HAD MET

Favorite canon moment of them? THERE ARE SO MANY but the one that immediately comes to mind is misumi carrying drunk kazu to bed (latest bday line) because drunk kazu is so soft and it implies that misumi wanted to wish happy birthday to kazu pretty late... what did he want to give him...

Least favorite canon moment of them? hmm... there's not really one i can think of??? IM SORRY I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY I LOVE ALL THEIR CANON MOMENTS

Favorite headcanon trope/idea? (Your own or someone else’s) this is somehow both vague and very specific but i think misukazu gives off this vibe: He's beautiful. I can't tell him. or "Kazu is always beautiful~" Don't call me that, Kazu thinks. I'm not. so... insecurities i guess ????? AJSHAJJD

Favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics? THIS IS GOING TO SOUND SO CHEESY but i love how /real/ they allow themselves to be around each other. misukazu at their best is when one thinks "you're you. and i love that you" and the other knows this. i just. THEY VALIDATE THE OTHER SO MUCH CRIES

Least favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics? (Can be headcannon) this isn't a "least fav" so much as "it makes me sad" but if either of them showed any sign of not being interested anymore the other is more likely to give up then push anything. sort of like "it was bound to happen, so i'll enjoy now until they drop me" or EVEN WORSE they think the other would be better off without them and pushes them away. so yeah the fact i can see one of these happening makes me sad.

If they aren’t a canon pairing, how would you get them together? they give off "everyone knows we're dating but us" energy but at the same time i feel like they'd acknowledge there's something and just not define it bc a) they don't need to (misumi) or b) they're too nervous to (kazu). in other words i think one day they are holding hands and misumi says "kazu? is this dating?" and kazu holds his breath before asking "do you want it to be?"

If you had to take them and plunk them into another fandom, what fandom would that be? Why? i think theyd be hilarious in any sports animanga (kazu is manager tho bc noodle arms but maybe they bond when misumi walks him through some of his usual training menu one night - ahem. anyway) BUT ALSO horimiya au...

How hard is it write/draw your pairing? Scale of 1-10. AJDHAJDHSF I REALLY LOVE THEM SO IT COMES PRETTY EASILY... but sometimes you try to put them in tropes and realize they would Just Not Work Like That. idk where i'm going with this. but yeah. anyway 3 for sankaku.

Is there a pairing that you think rivals them? in terms of what i ship, i tend to ship kazu and misumi individually with a lot of dif charas AJDHAKD. but in terms of like... in-universe "rival" pairings: kazu side: tsuzukazu (maybe, lbr it would take them 273924 yrs to actually get together), kazu x someone from winter (i... have my reasons but they'd take longer than what this answer entails) misumi side: ... surprisingly none that i can think of ahdjahd

Which character of the pairing do you like more? (Would you ever pair yourself with them?) you know that tweet that's like "sometimes a ship is just your two favs"? yeah that's misukazu for me. but if i had to choose... misumi AJDHAJHDSF I HONESTLY WASNT THAT INTO YUME UNTIL THESE TWO CAME AROUND (NOT COUNTING 707)... but yeah if they wanted to hold me in their arms i wouldn't oppose

Which character of your pairing would be the one to break up with the other? Why? OOOOOH BOY well. i think it could be either of them. i don't think they'd break up for lack of love but too much love and wanting the other to be happy and thinking that the only way to give them that is to let them go. so i guess the question is which of them would be more likely to be selfish and hold on. thinking this way, i think misumi would be more likely to break-up, bc kazu has lots of friends who are better than him!! and misumi is more ready to leave if he thinks he needs to than kazu is. now im sad.

Are they relatable as characters or as a pairing? THE NUMBER OF TIMES I'VE BEEN CALLED KAZU KIN... in all seriousness kazu's struggles with speaking out and (shinobi spoilers) his uncertainty over his future hit real close to home... while i don't relate as much as misumi, his struggles always manage to tear my heart into pieces... ((oversharing alert) i guess what really separates me from misumi is his struggle with his desire to connect with family who has treated him poorly... whereas im more "lol fuck you") tldr i relate to kazu slightly more LOL

Did you once/ever dislike one/both of them? i never disliked them but i was NOT expecting either of them to shoot up so quickly into my favs list ahdjahdjf. also i started shipping them Immediately After reading summer main story so there's that

On an estimate, how many posts have you made about them? as of september 28th 2020 i make up 11/78 fics on ao3 in the romantic misukazu tag and 2/12 in the platonic one. i may have brainrot.

What made you decide to ship them? TBH I FINISHED THE MAIN STORY AND WENT "OH MY GOD... THAT'S MY SHIP" but now that i'm here i continue to ship them because they have the potential to bring out both the best and the worst in each other and i'm all about that

Favorite genre for them? (Angst, fluff, etc.) angst. i just. angst hurt/comfort all the way. im so sorry babies.

lol you thought there would just be 21 ANYWAY EXTRA 1: how do they spend breaks/vacation? they'd travel a lot when they're older!! kazunari loves to travel and misumi would follow kazunari anywhere (also, new triangles!!) so they go somewhere new whenever they have the time. however i think eventually one or both of their future careers will take them anywhere and everywhere anyway, so their "ideal vacation" might turn into an evening in, cuddling and catching up (as if they didn't already send play-by-play updates over the phone of whatever they did during the day)

EXTRA 2: first date? i don't they ever have an explicit first date, but if asked they'll cite the time they had a picnic in the park turned triangle hunt turned accidental dip in the duck pond. at least, kazunari will. misumi just tilts his head and wonders what you mean.

EXTRA 3: gifts? IM FEELING REALLY CHEESY SO I'M MAKING THIS ABOUT ANNIVERSARY GIFTS they both end up getting each other jewelry (although kazu was really really nervous bc he wasn't sure if misumi would wear it). kazu gets misumi a bracelet (with triangles, of course although misumi only wears it sometimes because he doesn't want to lose it) and misumi gets kazu a pair of triangle earrings "so we can match!" and kazunari combusts at the implications

EXTRA 4: sharing clothes THEY'RE ACTUALLY AROUND THE SAME SIZE (and tend to wear baggier stuff barring kazu's skinny jeans)... but they have completely different Styles so it's still really obvious when steal each other's stuff ahdjajdkaf. as cute as kazu would look in sumi's sweatshirt i think the much more likely scenario is kazu wrapping misumi in his jackets because this boy nEVER BRINGS HIS ANYWHERE anyway just. accidental shared wardrobe misukazu.

EXTRA 5: lake house au consider: kazunari living in a house on the shore of a lake for a summer for Art Purposes (and a little bit for Dealing With Life purposes but he's not gonna admit that) and meets his lake neighbor misumi who kazu thinks might be a ghost or spirit for a while but he actually just lives further down the lake and misumi unknowingly helps kazu with his Life Issues and maybe they fall in love

#a3 #misukazu #kazumisu #ikaruga misumi #miyoshi kazunari #a3!#act! addict! actors!#headcanons #ernb its me

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asphalt-cocktail · 4 years

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Kinkmas Prompt #12: Pet Play

A/N: Hi Yall! I’m going to be honest I thought about making this longer but I ended up keeping it short, so if you would like a part 2 slide into my DMs/asks. Stay tuned for another fic tonight! I’ve never written pet play before so I wasnt entirely sure what to write, sorry if it isn’t what you expected! If you would like to request a prompt and character yourself please reference my Kinkmas masterpost.

Pairing: The Beatles x Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Smut, Polyamory, mentions of prostitution, oral(f receiving), pet play, collar, idk really.

Kinkmas 2019 Masterlist

General Masterlist

Asks

If you are considered a minor do NOT interact with this post. This is fictitious content and I own nothing.

Your job was… well it was interesting to say the least. It started out as a simple customer service job working for Brian Epstein, you’d answer phones, schedule appointments, take notes, you know the usual things a secretary would do. It was a job that didn’t help you pay the bills.

You spent many a break on your phone with your mom, “I don’t know how I’m going to make rent.” You said in a hushed tone, talking in the back office in hopes that no one would hear you.

Your mom always took moments like these to remind you that you should have never moved to the city, “I know, I know.” Your tone frustrated and disgruntled, “I’m picking up extra shifts at that restaurant I told you about.” No matter how hard you worked, it seemed as though she was always disappointed with your decision to be more independent.

It wasn’t until your boss, Mr. Epstein over heard you that he propositioned you.

Your face flushed “You-you want me to what?” You asked in disbelief. It wasn’t an unappealing offer to say the least, but it caught you off guard.

Brian shifted sheepishly, “Well, with going over to the states, I don’t want the boys to run wild with all the women that’ll be around.” You understood what he was getting at, the boys did have insatiable sexual appetites that had only been fueled by their recent claim to fame. They couldn’t run around ruining their own reputation, not after all of the work they put in, “I’ll pay you more of course, for your troubles.” He cleared his throat “I’ll even throw in apartment that’s closer to the studio for your troubles.” He crossed his arms over his chest and awaited your response.

You chewed on your lip and pondered, an apartment closer to work would be nice, and the more pay was enticing, but you couldn’t wrap your head around prostituting yourself. It was literally what your mom had warned you would happen.

“You’re going to end up selling sex for money!” She would scold and you’d laugh.

That was ridiculous wasn’t it?

Well, apparently it wasn’t all that ridiculous because here you were, seriously considering it as an option to help you pay the bills. You swallowed thickly and glanced at the soundproof window that looked into the studio, you could see the boys goofing off, George’s sharp cheekbones, Paul’s pouty lips, Ringo’s cheeky smirk, and John’s devilish glint that hid behind his Buddy Holly inspired glasses were all enticing. You looked back at your boss and pursed your lips for a moment “I’ll do it.” You responded with a curt nod.

Today was actually your first day in your new position and your first official day in America. Per the boys, you were told to wait patiently in the green room for them to finish their performance and set out bottles of water and towels for when they returned. It didn’t matter how thick the concrete walls were or how many divided you from the crowd you could still hear their roars as clear as day. The reception they received was insane.

But what was even more insane was this stupid collar that you had on. It was simple and black with a silver buckle on it and the short pencil skirt you were always required to wear, for easy access. You checked the clock, their show would be over in ten minutes, so you assumed your position next to the door and knelt, smoothing your skirt over your thighs and waited.

Your knees hurt and dug into the tacky shag carpet while you played with the hem of your skirt, rubbing it between your fingers nervously. You could hear chatter on the other side of the door and the handle jiggled. You sat up straight and poised, adjusting your chest so it stuck out more than usual for good measure. You were nervous, your heart was racing, and your breathing sped up as you saw the first boot step through the door. Your eyes remained averted and your face flushed, you swallowed thickly, and the collar felt as though it was getting tighter around your neck.

“Your show sounded great!” You said greeting them.

“Wow,” Ringo quipped, “I wasn’t expecting you to actually do what we asked.”

You looked up to see them, their mop tops sweaty and plastered to their faces, and cheeks reddened from heat “Well,” You started, “It’s my job, why wouldn’t I do it?” You asked honestly.

John smirked, “You’re an obedient little kitten, aren’t you?” He asked. You clenched your thighs, you’d never been called kitten before. It ignited a fire in your belly, “Come on over here.” He beckoned.

You nodded and stood up from your spot on the floor, brushing your skirt and legs off and walked over. John spread his legs and patted his lap for you to sit and you promptly followed his silent command. As soon as took your seated position his hand gripped the dip of your hip, calloused fingers rubbing softly on the fabric.

“Are you nervous?” Paul asked and gave you a knowing smirk.

Your eyes darted around the room before you shook your head “No,” You lied through your teeth.

“Why don’t you be a good little Kitty and spread those legs for us then?” John asked, using his large hands to rub the inside of your thighs and beckon them open.

You leaned back into his shoulder, inhaling his musky scent and spread your legs wide. Your skirt began to inch up your lap before it exposed the damp spot that had soaked through your cotton panties. You turned your face with embarrassment and buried it into John’s neck. Your chest heaved with anticipation as you felt his calloused hands inching closer and closer to your heat.

Your legs began to shake, feeling his hand touching everywhere but where you so desperately needed it, “Come on, John, don’t go on teasing the poor thing.” George cooed.

With that he finally pulled your panties to the side, gathering the slick on his fingers before he pushed into your tight cunt. You choked out a high-pitched moan and spread your legs further. His fingers expertly circled your clit while he trailed kisses down your neck, licking and sucking to mark your skin. But, as soon as his fingers entered you, they exited and moved up to your chest, pulling your shirt up and exposing your breasts. John pulled your bra down causing them to spill out and your nipples to begin to harden in response to the cool air.

His calloused hands began to pinch and twist the pebbled buds, your mouth hung open and you rested your head on his shoulder while he whispered filthy words into your ear. You opened your eyes for a brief moment and looked down to see Ringo settling between your legs. He looked up at you nervously, for such a handsome man he was the most self-conscious out of all four of the boys, “Mind if I…” he trailed off as his hand settled on either side of your panties. You nodded your head, urging him to take them off.

Once they were slipped off and your skirt now fully bunched up, exposing your entire bottom half Ringo settled between your legs, spreading your folds and getting a view of the mess you were making on John’s trousers. He experimentally inserted a finger into you and instinctively curled it upwards, brushing against your soft walls. The sensation of his cold rings biting against your skin and the pleasure he was bringing you along with John gripping your breasts soon became over whelming.

Paul stood behind Ringo, observing your dripping cunt and watching Ringo’s thick fingers disappearing within you, pumping in and out rhythmically, “Give her a taste,” He urged, “She’s been such a good girl.”

Your walls fluttered around Ringo’s fingers at the positive affirmation which caused Ringo to smirk. He spread you apart and hesitantly dipped his head between your legs and licked at your wet folds. You shuttered and your hips relaxed while your head fell back onto John’s shoulder while he pinched and pulled your nipples.

Ringo’s tongue delved inside you, lapping at your wet core like a starved man, his fingers continued to pump in and out of you, curling and rubbing against your soft walls. You bucked your hips and ground them against his face and moved to lace your fingers through his hair, but your wrist was quickly snatched by a set of long and thin fingers.

You opened one of your eyes and saw George holding your wrist and stroking his length in his other hand. Instinctively you reached out and brushed your thumb over the tip, spreading the precum that had leaked out over and pumped your hand down his length. He shuttered and brushed your hair out of your face, grabbing a fist full and tilting your head back roughly.

You gasped as your head jerked back, exposing your neck and allowing now both John and George to kiss your neck, the contrasting feelings of their kisses and Ringo tongue vigorously lapping at you caused your chest to heave and breathy moans to seep from your lips as you continued to roll your hips and jerk George off. You reached your hand up and ran your nails down the side of John’s neck while you desperately sought something to keep your self-anchored to while your walls quivered around Ringo’s tongue. “Do you think our good little kitten deserves to come?” John asked, his voice was heavy with lust.

Paul gave you a cheeky smirk, “Why don’t you be a good girl and come all over Ringo’s face for us.” You glanced over to see him seated casually, his long legs sprawled out, pants unzipped, and pumping his length in his hand. Your back arched against John’s broad shoulders and you let out a desperate cry as you came, your walls pulsating and clenching Ringo’s fingers. Neither of the boys had yet to get off, but you still had a feeling that your time with them was far from over.

#the beatles x reader #paul mccartney x reader #ringo starr x reader #the beatles #john lennon x reader #george harrison x reader #paul mccartney #paul mccartney fanfic #john lennon #the beatles fanfiction #reader inserts #the beatles smut #ACs Kinkmas

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smellycinnamonthundahfudge · 4 years

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heyheyheeeyyyy @that-shy-puff what up 👻👻👻👻?? hahaha it’s been so long since we’ve sorta indirectly interacted hasn’t it?? hahaha anwww im finally getting to one of the tag games ya tagged me in hahahha... i cant answer the other one since i face the same issue as you as being unable to choose just a certain exact 5 so i’ve decided to delay until i kno fo sho and i sttiiilll havent decided til now hahahahahha 🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷✨✨✨✨✨

anwww,,,,,, onto the actual game and i appreciate these things sfm as always,,,, i take a longass time but yall bet it’s always just in da bg of mah mind... imma get to these,,,, they so funnn yallss hahahaha 💖💖💖💖💖✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Zodiac sign: sagittarius (i think,,, not rlly sure,,, dont rlly care for it,,, sm so dat i had to search it’s proper spelling... which tbh kinda annoys me since idc bout it but im just such an annoying stickler for proper spelling like dat sometimes hahahha)

Height: 5'5

Last movie i saw: parts of Kung Fu Panda (whiCH BTWWWW is a hella good film yallssss!!!!! ahh discovering just ~how~ awesome something is at a happenstance rewatch is pretty dope yalls ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨)

Last thing i googled: saggitarius (hahahahaha das da og how i thought it was spelled hahaha but actually b4 dat, i searched herbal tea or how to know if herbal tea hahahhaa)

Favourite musician: heh.... idk y i’m actually feeling pretty certain i wanna promote filipino bands as of this moment... but,,, Parokya ni Edgar <33333333333333 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Song stuck in my head: Silhouette by KANA-BOON (if yalls kno..... yalls kno...... :::::”““““““““)))))))))))))

Other blogs: i made one before this one for school and it was super cringey... i dont even kno my username for dat one anymore,,,, i chose to make it about himym cus i was young dumb and cringeeyyy~~~,,,, and i wrote my posts there in my native language cus it was for mah class in dat language hahahahhahaha 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦

Following: 1736..... yeah.... kinda an impulsive follow type bish..... i dont rlly go to tumblr anymore cus i kno i usually wind up spendin my entire day on it if i did hahahaha

Followers: 328.... nice.... pretty sure i rlly only kno a handful of yalls but,, it’s nice to know yalls nevertheless hahaha,,, much obligeddd haaha 💖💖💖💖✨✨✨✨

Do i get asks: uhhhh yeahh,,, i do actually hahahaha,,, but it’s mostly usually only during on times when i’m rlly active on tumblr i think hahahaha so der~~~~

Amount of sleep i get: 7 to 12.... maybe??? idk,, i dont keep track of time hahaha

Lucky numbers: 13 or 11 or 7??? i actually dont knooo... im thinkin of the grp # mah classmates had that got em to win at a competition,,, but i wasnt even included in the actual competition so gosshhh idkkk i probs dont have one or if i did, i dont notice/pay attention to that type of thang hahaha

Dream job: probably something like a writer-director-actor-comedian who makes books, movies, tv shows that type of thang hahahaha 🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Instruments: same bruhhh hahaha saammeee... i dont play anything either hahahaha does your voice when you like to sing a lot count??? hahaha

Dream trip: oohhh it is hard to choose just one,,, damn.... ahh,,, but,,, i guess the best choice would just be... JAPAN!!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨ (I WANNA EAT SEA URCHINS, REENACT SCENES FROM FILMS LIKE KIMI NO NA WA,,,, SEE SNOW AND SAKURAS!!!!! AND THERE’S MOUNTAINS AND OCEANS THERE/NEAR THERE TOO AREN’T THERE???? soooo japan,,, rn,,, hands down,,,, seems like they have it alll/most of what i want from a trip at the very least hahahhaa 💖💖💖💖💖✨✨✨✨✨✨)

Favourite food: chicken and/or pizza 🤷🤷🤷 (it’s the one i can tolerate the most without getting tired of it anyways hahaha 🤷🤷🤷)

Languages: filipino and english yaaallsssss musta kayooo hahahahaha ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Favourite songs: ahhh yaassss finally a prompt that understands me,,,, idk man im just appreciative of the fact that it says songs and not the basic just oneee songgg hahahha....

....... ......... .... i uh--- i listed like,,, exactly 250 songs just like,,,,, off the bat when i skimmed my playlists for mah faves..... and,,,, i still cant choose,,,,, hahahahaha sooooo here’s the doc link for ref hahahhahaha but it’s mostly pop, hip hop, rap, rock, some angsty, lotta disney, opm, cxg, p&f hahahahha 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

@parallelmarvel, @secretlifeofacloud, @fangirltrash1312, @monchemunche, @zsanelleballeras, @warpedharpy, @ohdarnitripped, @untitledandrandom, @tare8chan, @totheendofthegalaxyandback, @sssunisshining, @caseopenandcaseshut, @thegeekogecko

#important #love #<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 #<33333 #<3333 #yeah <3 #mwah <3 #<3

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two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat · 4 years

Text

CW: transphobia, homophobia. Also pretty long and I'm on mobile so I cant put a read more thing on it.

Ok so this is kind of a personal post so if you don't wanna hear about some of my personal drama, just scroll along. But I feel like I need to get this shit on record somewhere since I don't have the screenshots of the texts this is concerning anymore.

So a little over a year ago, I told the person who'd been my best friend, we'll call her E, since I was about 9 that I didnt want to be friends with her anymore. More on that later.

Back in senior year of high school I started thinking I might be Bi. I brought this up to E and she was super dismissive right off that bat. Saying that I wasnt, sounding like she was trying to console me. Like being Bi was this awful thing that I needed to worry about.

Well fast forward about a year and a half and I went up to my college with her so I could do new student orientation since I was starting the next semester. This is when the fact that I was Bi sort of smacked me in the face because the girl doing my orientation was super hot. I immediately knew I wouldnt be telling E that.

Fast forward to march of 2017. Its spring break. I've reconnected with my high school friends. I've never felt the need to hide my sexuality from them and they were instantly nothing but supportive of me. We never really hung out outside of school back in high school (or in elementary school either in Eric's case.) I start realizing that I've been having more fun with them then I ever did with E. And I finally had people to geek out about sciencey stuff with because E doesnt believe in science but eric LOVES science. It was nice.

Well a couple weeks after spring break me and Es mutual friend Althea asked me to drive her to the shelter so she could get her boyfriends cat fixed (it's way cheaper there then at the vet) and spent the day hanging out with her because she WAS planning to walk back there to pick up the cat afterwards and I was like "uh no. I'm not gonna make you walk across town by yourself." So I finally got to meet her boyfriend. Well that afternoon E came and picked me up to go up to the KU campus to get some more bus passes to go to our college in KC because our school was out of bus passes and didnt know when theyd get more.

Here's when I kinda started to realize I should maybe get out of this friendship. On the way to campus E starts telling me about her day at school and how "theres a girl that used to be a guy in one of my teachers other classes. It's making me uncomfortable."

Me: "that sounds like a you problem, E."

Now I knew she kind of thought that way already. She may not have said shit like that around our other friends but I had to hear it a lot. But because I'm pretty nonconfrontational and she was my only close friend outside of school and I was terrified of being alone, I usually just ignored it or politely debated her about it but generally just agreed to disagree. This was the first time I ever decided to speak up to her about it. Unfortunately I couldnt say much cuz her mom was the one driving us and i knew she agreed with everything E said.

But I'd been hanging out with althea and her boyfriend (who just so happened to be trans) all morning so suddenly having to hear E talk about how uncomfortable trans people make her got me more fired up than usual.

After this I slowly started distancing myself from her. I'd been hoping for a few years that she'd grow up and accept that not everyone is like her and try to be more open minded and accepting of people. Apparently that wasnt happening.

I stopped responding to her texts as often. I was trying to think of a way to talk to her about it but all my past friendships that fell apart, did so naturally and on a silent mutual agreement. So I was half hoping that would happen. Pretty stupid. Dont recommend. Just be straight with people.

After a few months of me only answering her texts every once in a while, she decided to start calling me multiple times a week. Often while I was at work. Sometimes from her mom and sisters phones when I wouldnt answer from her number. Idk y she thought that would work. She knows I hate talking on the phone.

I still didnt know what to say to her. I probably should've just told her I needed some space and she might've backed off for awhile so I could figure it out. But subway stressed me tf out. And i have no idea how you're supposed to end a relationship with your best friend of over 10 years.

(Also some of my other reasons for not wanting to be friends with her were specifically because of althea and I didnt want althea to get dragged into it. Unfortunately it ended up happening anyways. But basically back in highschool, if we were planning for all four of us (me, e, althea, and nikki) to get together, and nikki would have something come up, E would tell althea our get together was cancelled but would still have me come over and then made me promise not to say anything to althea about it.)

Around march or april of last year I blocked her family's numbers. This is when they started showing up at my work. The first time it happened I had a long ass line and was helping my coworker get through it before I left. Her sister came in by herself and just asked how I was doing but left pretty quick after she got her sandwich since it was busy. A couple more times they came and just parked outside like they were waiting for me to get off my shift but ended up leaving. The last time it happened E came in while I was there alone and I really didnt wanna have THAT conversation while i was at work alone and her crazy overprotective mom was out in the car waiting for her. So i made her sandwich very quickly so i could get her out as fast as I could.

I was planning on finally talking to her around the end of april but was still having trouble figuring out what to say.

Unfortunately any plan I had to let her down easy was sort of thrown out the window on may 13th of last year.

My mom texted me that morning about how she got a weird call from Es aunt. On her work phone. This is basically how that call went:

"IS THIS OLIVIAS MOM?????"

My mom, suddenly worried it's my work and something happened to me, "Yes?"

"Why isnt olivia talking to E anymore?"

"............I dont know."

So that kind of crossed a line for me. It really freaked my mom out.

I'm bad at articulating my thoughts when I'm mad or stressed out tho. So my friend Alice ended up writing out the text for me and I read through it to make sure it was ok.

Basically it said "I'm sorry but I dont think we can be friends anymore. The way you talk about the LGBT+ community makes me extremely uncomfortable, especially seeing as I am bisexual and have several friends in the community. The way you used to exclude althea from hanging out with us because you think shes annoying and then expect me to lie to her about it makes me uncomfortable. It was inappropriate to show up at my work unannounced to corner me into talking to you when I needed space. And it was even more inappropriate for your relatives to call my mom at work. I'm sorry I didnt say something sooner but I'm tired of pretending I'm ok with everything you've said over the years."

Then her mom texts me. I dont remember all of it but the gist was "you're a horrible person. E never judged you or anyone else (sure, miss "gay people are gross. I can see how conversion therapy might work." Totally isnt judging anyone and 100% cares about the lgbt+ community.) The only reason she did those things is because she was worried about you."

Then E left me a voicemail that I couldnt understand at all cuz she was crying and I felt terrible even tho everyone was telling me I shouldn't. Now I probably should've taken out the part about althea because it effectively threw my "not wanting to get althea involved" plan out the window. Honestly what really pissed me off about this next part both made me pissed at E but also at myself. E removed herself from the group chat I had with her, nikki, and althea. Blocked althea on Facebook and blocked her number. Didnt bother to explain why. I still feel terrible about this even tho althea has told me many times that it's fine and if she'd had to pick a side she wouldve picked mine. But I still felt like she at least deserved an explanation.

Alice told me to screenshot the texts. I almost didn't cuz I just wanted to forget about all this. But I did.

Anyways life moved on. Eric got a new phone and gave me his beat up galaxy s7. I stuck my s6 into a drawer and let it die and forgot about it.

Then on new years I got a call from althea. Not weird at all. She calls me every major holiday and birthday. Shes done this every year since junior year of high school.

Normal phone call at first. But then she says that her mom has been talking to E's mom. Apparently E's mom told altheas mom that I told E that althea hates her and thinks shes a terrible person and that's why E hasnt been talking to althea. Althea of course didnt believe that but wanted me know about it. This prompted me to try and charge up my old phone and get the screenshots off of it. I had it plugged in for a couple of days and it never turned back on. So that's out apparently.

That's also why I felt the need to get all of this written down. It may not be as great as having the actual screenshots but I'm bad at articulating my thoughts when confronted so I want to have something written down in case any of this comes up again.

#cw: transphobia #cw: homophobia #i needed to get this out while i could actually put it into words #this is the first time in a while that i actually can #personal #homophobia #transphobia #i never post stuff like this so hopefully im tagging it right

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