previous // next

[[ transcript below ]]

gemma: looks like someone learned a new trick

theo: you kind of disappeared for a second ... are signal blockers messing with your magic? lame

gemma: question my magic again and i will curse you. my nieces are asking for my attention ... guess we talk in the wedding?

theo: are you coming then?

gemma: yeah, do you think i woud pass the opportunity to wear formal?

hey, never forget that i'm here for you. deal?

theo: i won't. deal.

Welp...FF7 Rebirth came out and ummm....I have this ship with an OC called Raven and I put her with Sephiroth...Ravenroth??? Idk

I'm debating on what prompt to do them with but we'll see with the actual story. This may also tie into a painting I did~

(they also have a kid named Mercury, he's a sweetie and I made Sephiroth a sister named Seri...yay) (Mercury is not in this story but Seri is!)

Without further adoooo let's get started.

May I Have This Dance?

Rating/Warning: minimal stuff but also AWWWWW

★★★★★

Ever since I can remember, I've always been by his side. Sephiroth. The Golden Child of SOLDIER. Ever since we were young we'd be teamed up together. He was there when my father died in that freak accident. There i remained in SOLDIER. Even as a First Class rank I didn't care much for the formalities or the perks of being this popular. I always thought myself a medic and only that.

Genesis or Angeal will always tease us as teenagers. Teasing about dating, who would win in a fight, best aim, you name it. As the years passed by, I found myself trying to answer why. It had been years since Genesis and Angeal disappeared and I still hear their voices egging me on. I had things, priorities, to attend to, especially one that was his very sister, Seri.

"Raven!!! What do you mean you're not coming to the company ball?! Everyone will be there!" Seri whined as I checked her vitals on the screen and took some tests.

"I told you Seri, I have my duties to the hospital and you. Sephiroth will have a conniption, you know he doesn't dance anyways" I replied.

"well I'm going with Zack! He invited me in Aerith's place because of her circumstances! She insisted!" She fussed as she crossed her arms.

"Oh are you? Then I guess I have no choice~" I rolled my eyes playfully as I gave her medicine and a change of clothes from her closet and helped her put them on.

"Yay! Dress shopping!!!" Seri squealed. I helped her onto her wheelchair and we walked to the elevator to get to the bottom floor.

We walked along the streets of Midgar to a dress shop nearby. I was never really into girly stuff even as a kid. The only girly thing I wear is earrings bc my face still says masculine. I guess looking more like my father was half of a good thing. I'm glad I developed nicely up top and got ass for days. My dad would try and get me to wear hair berets or make up to make me look more feminine but I was a part of SOLDIER. I couldn't/it would run or snag in the field.

Seri and I walked through all the clothing racks. Seri picked out a few dresses her size. She kept on pointing to other dresses that might look good on me but none were speaking to me. Seri started scanning the whole store. I know those eyes too well, just like her brother's, always on target and ready to pounce. Then she grabbed a dark colored dress and snuck it under her picks, thinking she was sneaky. I only caught a glimpse of the color but not the style. I was worried but not in a scared way.

As we made our way to the changing rooms, she picked out a cute pink dress because she told me Aerith liked pink and wanted to respect her favorite color. Seri really has grown fond of both Zack and Aerith these past few years. I've never seen her this excited unless it was Sephiroth coming home to take her to a fancy dinner and toy shopping. She's 7 years younger than him yet they're both a spitting image of each other. They definitely are siblings.

I remember the day my father showed us her, so small and frail. It was devastating to see her health decline when she reached 10 years. My dad did so much for her, even as he got up in age, he was like a father to her. His death put a toll on all of us, I stayed with Shinra because I had nowhere else to go. That's when I became on call for SOLDIER and mostly full time at the Hospital. I made a promise to my dad and myself.

Seri showed off her dresses and then from underneath she revealed the dress she swiped for me. It was a long sleek slender gown with a slit up the leg that stops at the thigh and has one strap. It was a dark blue with shimmers.

"oh no...that's no me..." I deflected.

"Come on Raven just try it on! You never wear dresses so how can you know?!" Seri pouts and shoved the dress and shoved me into the changing room, "imma go find ya shoes! Be right back!" With those parting words she wheeled herself away and I was alone. In the changing room. With a floor to ceiling mirror...

I placed the dress over me to get a feel then I started to undress from my uniform into this dress. Once it was on I saw myself. My figure helped but I had muscle. Was that sexy? Appealing? I even posed with my leg out the slit.

"Raven! I'm back with shoes!" Seri snapped me out my thoughts and shoved the shoe box under the door. I looked inside. They were black high heels...

"You sure about this Seri?" I called out.

"trust me!!!" Seri giggled.

I gulped and tried on the shoes. I looked at myself again and was amazed. Everything...matched me... Was Seri some kind of fashion genius? Maybe those fashion magazines around the hospital didn't help.

"come on out I wanna seeeeee!!!" Seri whined and scooted her wheelchair back.

I opened the door and revealed myself. The look on Seri's face said it all. She looked like she saw an angel.

"you look...amazing!!!!" She took a picture with her phone. "Sephi will FLIP when he sees you in this dress!!!"

"you think so?" I blushed.

"I know so! And with your silver earrings to match him it'll be perfect!!! Zack is already matching me with a pink tie already. He is not scared of pink!" Seri laughed.

I smiled, "then I'll get this dress. And maybe a necklace for both of us"

I quickly got unchanged and went to go pick out some necklaces. I got matching silver bang necklaces for us. I paid for the shopping spree and we headed on home to the apartment. Only god knows what will happen tonight...

---------------

The ballroom of the venue was packed with higher ups and other important people. I adjusted my dress. My hair and make up fixed up to match my dress. I touched my necklace and took a deep breath and walked into the venue. Seri already left earlier with Sephiroth for the venue. She was adamant Sephiroth doesn't see me get dressed in my pretty gown. My heels clicked along the floor as my presence started to turn heads and unwanted whispers. Why am I so nervous?

Then I saw Seri and Zack talking it up in the SOLDIER section of the venue with our names on the tables on the outside of the dancefloor.

"well look who decided to show up!!" Zack chuckled, "you look pretty good in a dress and is that a clutch?!"

"yes Zack...and you look stunning in that suit. Really brings out your eyes" I teased. Zack's cheeks turned pink. "And your cheeks~"

Seri chuckled, "he at least has some good dance moves."

"Seri where is your brother?" I asked.

"over there next to the corporates and higher ups. He's been sipping champagne for an hour with them..." She pointed.

I rolled my eyes and walked over to them. The drunken fools started whistling at my appearance. I deflected their looks and focused on Sephiroth.

"Look who finally decided to wear make up after so long" Sephiroth commented as he left the drunken old men to come to me.

"you don't look half bad yourself" I adjusted his blue tie. I knew Seri would make him match me.

"Shall we go out to the balcony? Away from these fools and noise?" He suggested. I gladly accepted and we walked outside.

"I'm so used to the sound of the battlefield and hospital. Yet I always get nervous around other people." I chuckled. "At least Seri and Zack are having a great time."

Sephiroth chuckled and held Raven close, "who says we can't have our own fun out here? May I have this dance?"

I blushed and smiled, "you may" he soon pulled me in and we began slow dancing on the balcony to the muffled music of the ballroom. The moon shines full and bright above us.

We swayed back and forth and he spun me a few times. I knew he wasn't much for dancing but he learned to cheer me up when we were teenagers. He knew my father loved to dance with me. Even Genesis and Angeal got on the bandwagon. They were all my best friends. Well now I only have Sephiroth. Ever since we were young we were glued to the hip, even in battle we had each other's backs.

My heart started pounding faster at the thought of feelings for Sephiroth. Are we allowed? I'm not in SOLDIER anymore by default but I work with Seri now so it might be?

"you're making that face again~" Sephiroth spoke softly and snapped me out of my thoughts.

"what face?"

"the cute face you make when you're deep in thought or worried." Sephiroth smirked. Cute? Cute?!

"oh...sorry..." I chuckled embarrassingly.

"don't be sorry, I like it, besides you're beautiful tonight. Seri picked out a nice dress" he placed a hand on my hip, trailing his fingers against my exposed back, "and don't worry about the muscles, I like that about you, you're not dainty or fragile like Seri. Strong and stubborn."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, "you think so?"

"I know so" Sephiroth placed his other hand on my hip, leaning in closer to where we're almost nose to nose.

"I'm glad you said that, because I like a man who can keep me on my toes and always had my back for the past 25+ years" I stared into his eyes as the moonlight hit them.

"then I'll hold you to it for the rest of our lives. You've done too much to just be rewarded once" he leaned in closer.

"it's a promise" I closed the gap and kissed him. We held each other. He lifted me a bit to get one last jab at the toes statement. His chapped lips were soft and his hair was like silk. He even put it up for once in a low pony with a small braid.

We separated with a few good breaths between us. Was dad always right that I might end up with Sephiroth? I don't care, if it is true, I know where my heart lies tonight. It's definitely with him. Soon we were surprised to see Seri and Zack. Seri looked like she was about to lose it at the fact we finally kissed. Zack was dumbfounded that Sephiroth knew how to be romantic.

"I did it! I knew you guys would come out here! And you kissed!!!!" Seri squeaked out giggles and stumbled to her brother and I.

Sephiroth held her steady, "I guess your constant nagging about me staring and smiling paid off, little sister."

Seri smiled, "it's only a matter of time till I hear wedding bells! I wanna be the maid of honor! Can we invite Aerith?! Cloud?!"

"Slow down Hyperactive Kitten, it'll be way down the line for that possibility. What if we just eloped?" I chuckled.

"don't care! I still get wedding bells!" Seri smiled as Sephiroth twirled her around in his arm. She brought him so much joy. I don't remember a day where he tried to visit her and play with her, even being a muse for her paintings. She loved him just as much.

"maybe once I retire, we'll see about that" Sephiroth smiled.

Zack gasped, "you're leaving me all alone no fair! It'll just be me and Cloud!" He pouted playfully.

I laughed at his expression and we had a fun night for the rest of the evening. My feet were sore and tired from dancing. At the apartment I helped Seri get ready for bed and hung her cute dress up for her to look at in her room. I made my way to the other bedroom and got undressed into pajama shorts and a tank top. I wiped off all my make up.

Sephiroth was just in sweatpants as he looked at me with soft eyes. I walked to him and gave him another kiss. Memories of sharing a tent or a bed together on trips, even into older age, came into my mind. Entangling our bodies together to stay warm. Him placing his head on mine. Even in uniform it was comfy. Like we were two sides of one coin. We laid down in the large bed, embracing each other, with me laying my head on his chest. Listening to his strong heart. His strong arm wrapped around my figure. My olivey complexion is a clear difference from his pale skin.

"Goodnight Sephiroth" I yawned softly.

"Goodnight Raven...I love you" He smiled.

"I love you too"

hello. 3 things:

1) happy (late) new year! how are you?

2) re: that doctor who post you reblogged a minute ago I am pleased to inform you it has now been updated (with 5 more doctors)

3) which language are the pronouns haw/hen (hope I've typed that correctly) for? if they're neopronouns they're really cool and if they're finnish they're also really cool because french pronouns are hell

hi!!

1) thank you, happy 2024 to you too! i've been tired a lot, but today seems so much better that i'm hoping to write at some point! i left my wip at a dramatic place so i'm very excited about it

2) lmao amazing

3) they're swedish! han is masculine and hen gender neutral. finland is technically a bilingual country so everyone is taught swedish at school, but i end up needing the language so little in everyday life that it's easy to forget even simple things about it. i put the pronouns in my bio partly just to help me memorize them, and it has actually significantly helped!

some make fun of hen for its english meaning, but for me that's just a plus 🐔

finnish is cool in that it doesn't have gendered pronouns. there's just hän, and in some dialects (including mine) se. (se means "it" and in formal language is only used for animals and things, but like, humans are animals too, so we may as well use that pronoun for everything)

my first english lessons were confusing because the concept of gendered pronouns felt so complicated and unnecessary haha. then a decade or so later i tried to learn german and oh man. idk how y'all with languages that gender everything do it

So I haven't mentioned this on here BUT I started training for a new job today!! 😄 I haven't left my retail job, I'm trying to do both. I don't want to get into too much detail publicly, but I'm very excited, because this position will give me a chance to work with kids again, but without the stress and responsibility of childcare or being a teacher. It actually pays slightly less per hour, but I'm expecting the hours to be a lot more consistent.

Anyway, all the big news aside, for the four days we're onboarding, we don't have to wear the uniform shirts, but rather, "business casual". Which has honestly sent me down a bit of a spiral the last 24 hours 😅 BECAUSE, idk if you know this, but my mom is very intense and old-fashioned, especially about clothing, and my father's an attorney and can also be pretty rigid, which has influenced my understanding of things.

And I'm pretty sure what "business casual" technically, actually means is, like, (for men) "you don't have to wear a jacket and tie". BUT, I feel like EVERYONE says it, when what they mean is, like, "please don't show up half-naked or looking like you literally just rolled out of bed". It's become such a meaningless phrase!! Like, I'm pretty sure people at this particular place sometimes even wear shorts and jeans, so long as they're not torn/stained/messy-looking.

I ended up feeling really overdressed today! But I don't think I have much clothes that hit that in-between mark? Like, I wear a lot of t-shirts.

And I know the old-timey understanding is that less comfortable = more formal/more acceptable, but I think that's just generally not the case anymore. And I tend to prioritize comfort and dislike structured garments, so some of my most "put together" outfits are almost pajamas, but nicely color-coordinated, because I'm good at that. So, like, is that acceptable?? Or, like, a baggy, brightly-colored t-shirt dress? Like, there's not even an iron in my apartment, if that gives you an idea of what possibilities we're working with, here.

Anyway I'm sure my relentless distress over this niche issue has nothing at all to do with the fact that I only got like 3.5 hours of sleep 😅😬 (I know, I know, I swear I'll do better tonight)

Hey mod soda havent been here in a bit but how have you been? Hope everythings been great

-🐢 anon

Omg hi!!!! I haven't been here in a bit either (LOL!)!!

I've been great. I just did an essay for social justice and I got to write it about my ASPD (she said it was brilliant but then like was an asshole talking about how my diagnosis is wrong and how doctors aren't credible because she's seen me show compassion before {what does she expect someone with aspd to act? like a serial killer? i literally address masking and expectation in the essay but ok). I wrote three papers for history and they were about native americans + the technological advances in terms of war + the economics behind the civil war. Very fun - all of them were very fun. I love writing essays and shit.

I'm doing ass progress in math idk why they put me in a wack ass math course but ok. I talk to the profess all the time and we discuss 80s movies so I get a little credibility I suppose (hope he goes easy on me!).

Today I did my presentation in the expiremental analysis in biology class and tbh I kinda ate. I had cattle decapitation lyrics in it bc you know they have songs about the environment and methane n carbon dioxide and shiii

Uhh everything has been class related. Relationship wise my mans is coming over tomorrow night and we are going to watch the sunset tomorrow har har har har .

Saturday is movie night with my friends! We had movie night last time (sadly my man couldn't be there - but this time he will {maybe?}) and we watched X and American Psycho. This time I convinced them to watch The Fly. Anddd this time we are wearing pajamas and all week I've not worn this specific pair bc imma save it for him.

my comm college has this micro spring celebration (so california) that's basically put together by my history professor (i've been hanging around him more often... i like him a lot. he runs the gardening club) actually wait - out of parenthesis now - I asked him about gardening club and he said sumthn about when it is and I was like cool. But I have anxiety brain and I wanted to know more information and so I asked my mans (who has him for another course) to ask him about gardening club and he did. AND THEN AFTER MY LECTURE THE PROFESS WALKS UP TO ME AND GIVES ME MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE CLUB LIKE GOD DAMNIT [MOD SOUDAS MAN] THAT WAS SO EMBARRASSING I WAS TRYING TO BE NONCHALANT. I WAS SO FLUSHED I WAS LIKE OH THANK YOU - HE KNEW I ASKED MY MAN TO ASK HIM. THAT'S SO EMBARRASSING. anyway the spring celebration is just with like his gardening club + some of his ta's I think idk but he invited me (i talk to him like every day while everyone else ignores him lol I love him he is such a king) and I got the permiss to invite my mans and i'm very excited but like it's like not even a formal thing it's literally just a gardening thing but it makes me very happy to be somewhere in public with him (also my deaf friend and her interpreter are gonna be there and he likes watching me sign so double wammy {in the positive sense}).

okay that's all

-Mod Souda

Deity Diaries

11/11/23 8:27 p.m.

It's been maybe a month or two since I made the switch form worshipping Athena, Apollo, Aphrodite, and Hermes to just worshipping Aphrodite and I wish I'd written down when that was exactly. I want to keep track of these things more, especially since I have time blindness. (This legit could have happened two weeks ago idk.) But here we are.

So, I reconfigured my altar. Stripped it down, threw out the food offerings, put away the rest, said goodbye to all other deities, gave them the run down of what was happening, reminded myself that this is only temporary. I wrote Athena a heartfelt letter as she was my main deity and really my introduction into the Greek pantheon all the way back in 6th grade World History class. I cried a bit but was really excited to start this new chapter and really focus my practice so I had enough energy for everyone. I just want to be the best worshipper I can, eventually becoming a devotee.

Well, a few weeks later, turns out I still barely have enough energy for one deity. My memory is shit so I have to go back and reread and recheck everything before I do it. All of my sources are online which I didn't think threw before I "quit" social media. Turns out it's hard to cut down on screen time when your screens have all your information on it.

Between my multiple colds and TikTok withdrawals, (world's cringiest and embarrassing phrase) I haven't done much besides assemble 75% of my altar and stare at the other 25% then ignore it. As I'm writing this I'm only just now realizing that I didn't plan ahead very well, kinda setting myself up for failure. If I had laid out everything I needed to do on paper before getting started, I wouldn't feel like such a failure. I wouldn't be floundering so much.

Since I can't afford a ton of books, (and my booklist is all stored in my TikTok favorites, ugh) I have to spend hours hand writing and/or printing the resources out, organize them, and make them cute (Aphrodite worshipper, duh). All before I even make a formal offering. Ugh this is so exhausting. I'm losing touch with the joy and excitement of research and learning and practicing this faith and craft.

In my own defense, I've been stuck in the same loop for months because I keep losing the list of prayers, spells, and hymns I've compiled over the last 3 years. Either from lack of organization, online sources getting deleted, having too many servers, or being slowed down from not being able to find anything quick enough for my ADHD brain.

It's been super discouraging, tbh. I can't even think of a single spell or prayer to say over my coffee in the morning, the same coffee I've drank for 2 years? And all the research I've done on Aphrodite specifically escapes me the moment I stand in front of her altar? That took me weeks to set up because I couldn't remember if there is any specific ritual done before setting up a new altar? Just talking about this makes me wanna take a nap.

I'm not giving up, though, just frustrated. I know there's a lesson in all this, I just have to be willing to learn it. A well-organized grimoire is a must for me, especially since I have decided not to buy books or return to the hellish rabbit hole that is social media. I have to keep reminding myself:

You're not lazy, you're just unprepared.

You're not lazy, you're just unprepared.

You're not lazy, you're just unprepared.

I'm not lazy, I'm just unprepared.

Hello and happy new year!

i saw your new year event i was wondering if may i? :D

Glamrock Freddy + Perfect (by ed sheeran)+ Lavender + oneshot!

Lavender flowers represent purity, silence, devotion, serenity, grace, and calmness.

Twinkling.

Prompt ;; a second branch of the Pizzaplex without the animatronics has been established, further expanding the name Fazbear Entertainment for the world to know. Your higher-ups has deemed this to be a day worth celebration, and has told all staff to attend the gathering / party at the Pizzaplex while wearing a formal attire. You showed yourself in your prettiest but also elegant looking outfit you can find, hoping to maybe snatch a few compliments from your coworkers and hopefully? A certain Animatronic.

Song ;;

Type ;; one-shot, fluff

Chars. Involved ;; Glamrock Freddy.

A/N ;; idk how but I've been staring at this ask like "omg i have an idea for this but it's not coming out" for the past week until one night at 2 am i woke up from my sleep bc the idea suddenly showed itself and I'm scared I'll forget it. Anyhow, enjoy! And I'm so sorry it took so long!

Rays of light dims as evening is around the corner, pushing you to roll out of bed as an alarm blared it sounds through the rooms. You sighed, turning off the alarm you had set up on your phone, it's 5PM, time to get ready.

As you finally walked towards the closet, you set the outfit that you had picked the day before on your bed, making sure to straighten any of the wrinkles you've seen on it. Dragging your feet, you forced yourself to remember how excited you were for this day to come, but for some reason, just a few hours as it's about to begin, you feel as though it doesn't catch your interest anymore. Like you would rather just sleep in and miss the whole party.

Well, it's not like the party was a must to attend, your boss gave you the freedom to choose whether to attend or not. And the choice to just sleep in till tomorrow has been nudging your brain for the past 3 hours, but you know you can't, even if you want to. No, no one forced you to come or anything, you simply vowed to yourself that you'll show up, since only for tonight, staffs are given the privilege to play, enter, and eat everything anything and anywhere for free. And this opportunity might as well be a once in a lifetime chance.

You picked up a bit of excitement at the thought of the overly expensive brand known as Fazbear Entertainment finally giving the staffs some sort of chance to genuinely enjoy their job and their workplace, letting them stuff their face with whatever food is there that was supposed to be for the customers. Enjoying the rides, specifically the one that could support adults. And of course, not having to worry about the amount of workload they have for just a day.

Time slipped by as you've finished styling your hair and slipping on the outfit, looking at the mirror for any minor mistakes in your looks just in case. Clock ticked 5:45 just as you exclaimed that you're done, grabbing your keys and other belongings in attempt to make sure not to forget anything, before going on your way to the famous Freddy Fazbear Pizzaplex.

Neon lights, the aroma of multiple pizzas, laughter, chatter, and music filled your senses as you walk in with a few of your friends. You're not even going to lie, when everyone isn't wearing that god awful uniform that makes you sweat 24/7 despite multiple ACs in the building, they all look gorgeous. Suits and dresses, ranging from funky, cute, regal, elegant — not to mention the effort they put to make themselves look good.

You were in awe to say the least. And it's not like you're jealous or something, no, you knew your outfit was as gorgeous as the rest, though not as intricate so you can't exactly say it's the best, but you wouldn't say you're lacking in the looks department either.

Though a certain bear would disagree with the thought of you not absolutely outshining the others. For tonight, Freddy and the gang would perform specifically for the workers and staffs, supposedly it was their way of thanking all of you for working in the Pizzaplex for so long. And with the help of a few workers pitching in to do an examination of the animatronics and the stage despite wearing such fancy dresses and suits, the gang was ready to get up the stage and rock on.

That was the plan at least, but the lead singer just had to freeze once his caught sight of, well, you. Under one of the spotlight was you standing, smiling, adorably happy to be where you are. You looked... Absolutely graceful, serene even, pure. He looks at you, stares for a few long seconds, as he waves his mechanical paw at your direction. Of course Monty had to hit him over the head and told him to focus, in which Freddy only gave a rushed "Fine!" At the gator, but even then the dreamy look never actually left his face.

He starts the performance with a speech, telling them all how much he and his friends appreciates that they've taken the time to be here. With that he gave the signal for his bandmates to start playing their respective instruments, your friends were going wild with the "WOO!"s and frantically opening their phones to record. Some had stood on the sidelines to eat while watching, some were dead center - dancing their night away, and you? You're near the front of the stage, though not as energetically dancing, you still moved to the rythym as you cheered for your fellow robot friends, specifically the leader.

The performance ended without a hitch, and during it some of your coworkers slipped in a compliment or two at you, exclamations on how your outfit fits your vibe perfectly, or how stunning you looked, or how they're so glad to see that you came. You didn't even realize the Glamrocks had gotten off the stage till you felt the big robotic hand on your shoulder, looking back you see the giant bear with his cheeky smile - obviously happy to see you.

"Starlight! It's so nice to see you here!" He blurted out, ears moving in a joyful manner as you talked back. "Well of course! How could i miss such a good night, plus, a new Pizzaplex is about to open soon! Isn't that exciting?" You grasped for a topic, putting all your focus on the big bear. Freddy chuckled, nodding along. "Indeed it is, however, i am a bit happy that the second location wouldn't have another Freddy in it... I'd rather have you stay here with me instead." You couldn't help but lightly laughed at his words, was he serious? Or was that just his attempt at flirting? Can the Freddy Fazbear even flirt? Either way, you had to admit that was smooth of him.

The night goes on as you two continued to talk, smiling gleefully at eachother. Sadly, the hour just finished and it's time for him to see a recharge station, it was quite an unwelcomed goodbye but you knew that he can't miss his hourly recharge. With that you gave him a small bow, as you walked away after you gave him one last smile. What you didn't even expect him to do was to suddenly take a hold of your hand, looking at you.

"After I am done recharging, i'm sure i can trust you to perhaps save us a dance?"

"Are you asking if we can dance together?" You giggled. And he soon shyly tries to avert his gaze, before mumbling the rest of his words to you.

"Well uhm, yes, that is what i ask. Although i understand if you do not want to, i have noticed that some humans aren't too keen on being somewhere where they might gain some sort of attention."

"I don't know Freddy, my hair isn't as kept as it was and my outfit isn't exactly made for dancing, nor do i think I'll look good doing it."

His ears drooped as you told him what you honestly think, silent devotion is what he would call this moment, as he gazes at you so fondly you were sure he's going to melt. So he walked a few steps towards you, hand in hand as he looks down.

"(Y/n), believe me, i do think that you'll look absolutely perfect." Sincerity filled his voice and you can't help but feel the side of your cheeks getting warmer due to his words, you instantly took away your hands from his in embarrassment, looking away. "Alright alright, i get it, thank you Freddy." He nods in response, and you can't help but smile due to how gentle he is.

"I'll save us a dance, so be sure to come see me once you're done recharging, okay? I'm looking forward to it."

"I cannot wait, Starlight."

Heyho✌🏻

Ok so now that I saw that we are engaged with the brothers what do you think their wedding would be like??? They're a royal family after all..You think it would be similar to the royal weddings in Great Britain? By the way what do you think in which century do they live? They have no idea of bicycles or something like that and these (I googled hehe) were invented in 1817..

what the brothers' weddings would be like

ok so this is gonna be a lil different than my usual posts. i got my booster shot yesterday and i've been sick as a result, so everything i've written for this ask is pure delirium and honestly i'm too tired to fix it lmao so if you aren't happy with this, please tell me so i can write something better!!

genre: ~history~, general

cw: terrible analysis and fashion history lessons, this probably makes no sense i'm so sorry, pure chaos, not specifically a reader insert but it's gn!reader

i'm obsessed with this ask, like i literally spent a good 30 minutes looking at historical fashion and inventions to pinpoint when nightmare harem could take place. so we've gathered that they have no idea about bicycles so you would think that it would be before 1817. i swear i remember one of the characters mentioning taking a picture and idk if that was a mistranslation but cameras were invented in 1816. so the timeline is now sometime in 1816 before bicycles, but if you think about it would they really have a need for bikes? cuz they got their horses and carriages and magical teleportation. we can't really look at the fashion since it's all very unrealistic and informal for members of royalty, and they all seem to come from various periods of time. ties like the one kaim, kurt, and ricardo wear didn't start becoming a popular thing until the mid 1800s. however, we see mefy and lucas wearing a cravat which had been a thing since the 1600s. but again, this is a fantasy world completely separate from the timeline of our world, so their dates are most likely completely different. like if i were to say "oh yeah it takes place in the 1830s, do you really think noel, lucas, or oswald would be walking around without getting shamed for having v-neck shirts? but for the sake of putting a date on it, i would say early 19th century for sure, probably around the late 1810s to the 1830s

now onto the actual ask lmao

Lucia

❧ he's the eldest of his brothers so his wedding is most likely gonna be the biggest and fanciest, like it has to set the example for his family if he's the first to marry

❧ he would want a big, fancy, lowkey over the top wedding cuz he's dramatic like that

❧ but his informal side wouldn't want it to be super strict and focused on traditions; however, since he's the next king it's gotta be as close to traditional and formal and fancy as he can tolerate

❧ he'd probably leave a lot of the details up to his partner; he's not picky about floral arrangements or what kind of napkins are gonna be at the table, although he'd probably request the napkins to be folded in a really cool way like how people can fold towels to look like swans

❧ the venue would probably be at a cathedral or a really fancy ballroom or castle, big royal vibes

❧ his vows are really heartfelt and have a couple jokes in them to lighten the mood, and when he says them he looks you right in the eye and holds your hands tight so you know he means every word he says

❧ probably ends up kissing you before the officiant can say that it's ok to kiss cuz he's too excited, it makes everyone laugh tho so it's ok

❧ after the reception you know there's gonna be a party that lasts well into the night; he's a party man and likes to have a good time

❧ he probably insisted on a huge cake, and absolutely does the thing where the newlywed couple smush cake on each other's faces

❧ when it comes time for the first dance, he knows everyone's staring at the two of you but he hardly notices; to him it's just the two of you in your own little world, dancing and basking in each other's presence

❧ so overall, his wedding is pretty generic but also the most similar to the modern royal weddings, like the british ones i don't pay attention to royalty lmao he knows that it's expected of him to have a perfect royal wedding but he also wants to have some fun with it and let loose a bit

Levy

❧ there's not as much pressure on him to have a perfect royal wedding, unless he's the first to marry, but he'd still want it to be perfect

❧ he'd for sure want the wedding to be in a huge, fancy library; it's classy and shows how he loves reading

❧ he's also not insanely picky over the smaller details but instead of leaving it up to his partner, he'd want to decide on things together

❧ something about him screams picky eater so he'd probably want to be more in charge of the food choices than his partner

❧ there's not as many people attending the wedding as there would be in lucia's; levy would just prefer a smaller crowd of just family, friends, and maybe some important people from town

❧ i feel like before the wedding he'd want to have the two of you exchange letters for y'all to read while getting ready

❧ his vows are very poetic and heartfelt and well written, but he's so nervous during the delivery that he keeps stumbling over words and stuttering which makes his face and tips of his ears all red aw

❧ thinks large cakes are obnoxious, but if you want one he'll allow it. won't smush cake in your face but you should totally do it to him lol

❧ his after party doesn't last very long; he lowkey wants everyone to go home early so he can have more alone time with you, but he does enjoy celebrating with everyone

❧ lucia for sure gives some corny speech to embarrass him, probably brings up stories from when they were children

❧ overall, it's a decent wedding, nothing out of the ordinary or insanely unique. he definitely views the planning part as a team effort, and the actual reception and after party is small and more intimate. it's not a typical royal wedding, but the vibes are still there

Mefy

❧ there's no pressure on him whatsoever to have a big royal wedding; he's the youngest of three so it's very unlikely that he'd get married first, which means there's no pressure for him to set an example for his family

❧ he knows weddings are a big deal and are super important for the couple, and getting married to his partner is super important and exciting for him, but he doesn't really want to make a big deal out of it

❧ out of the three, his wedding is definitely the smallest. he only invites family and close friends, and the venue and after party are lowkey

❧ for him i'm getting garden wedding or even a wedding in the woods or a meadow; it's also probably held in the evening, close to sunset

❧ doesn't care about the little details, like the after party's not gonna be all that and there's not many people to nitpick, so he leaves the small things to his partner

❧ it's probably a given but the color scheme involves shades of green; it's probably more of a natural vibe

❧ his vows are short but very sweet; he doesn't stumble over his words at all, he's very calm and collected about the whole thing

❧ the cake for y'all's wedding is small, probably only two or three layers, but it's very tasty and pretty

❧ the after party only lasts a couple hours before everyone is sent home, but the two of you stay at the venue for a good while after to have some alone time and be in each other's presence

❧ instead of a first dance, i think he would prefer a last dance where it's just the two of you slow dancing without anyone watching; it's much more private and intimate which i think he would appriciate

❧ overall, his wedding is small and chill but has magical and intimate vibes. he views weddings as for the couple rather than for the entertainment of the guests which reflects in how small scale everything is. it's far from a royal wedding but he prefers it that way; at the end of the day it's about him and his partner, nothing else matters

I’ve seen some people worried that Candace will betray Lilly and join her mother but I’m like??? What loyalty does she have to her mother?? She would 100% join the fight against her. The only way she would be on her mother’s side is if she gets put under that spell or something.

I think in the finale Christine will realize that the Guardian isn’t some angel of mercy and that she’s actually been working with a demon from hell. Maybe Candace is the one who tells her what’s been going on, or maybe when she sees all the people dying she finally realizes for herself that the Guardian isn’t who he said he was and that she made a big mistake. Either way I think by the end of the episode Christine will be trying to help them stop the monster she created. I also think that when she finds out about Lilly and Candace, while she won’t be totally supportive of it, she can’t really say anything about it either because she was just working with the devil which is a lot worse.

I also could definitely see the big twist or betrayal having to do with Brutus because we know so little about him. He could definitely have been working for the bad guys this whole time but then developed a soft spot for humans like Astrid and Lilly so he tries to protect them instead?? All I hope is that the cliffhanger isn’t too big (just incase we don’t get a season 2). Like I hope it ends with all of them at the dance having a good time thinking they stopped the Guardian and closed the portals, but then it cuts to a monster who made it through one of the portals - suggesting that Astrid and Lilly have more monsters to kill next season. Nothing too major that leaves the show feeling unfinished if it doesn’t get renewed, but just enough to leave it open for another season.

The more I think about it the more I want the end of the season to be a very cute and very cheesy group hug. But still IDK LOL! Yeah, I don't really see a reason Candace would work with her mom, like... my mom is a better person than Christine and I wouldn't even betray my partner for her... I think people are just generally nervous because we don't really watch too many Week-to-week dramedies, people really just kinda binge watch?? in my experience that creates different feelings and predictions about the next ep... and brews worst-case scenarios...

Christine is interesting, I'm not too sure how she is going to react to anything, although she will likely say some innuendo-y things, as she does. I hope she does see the error of her ways, but Idk if she is, like, self-aware enough to catch that she's helping a big Big Bad. I'm 98% that Candace Screw-everyone-Screw-it-Screw-this, suddenly excited for the Formal, sudden character growth Powell, is likely not going to do anything to intentionally hurt Astrid or Lilly.

The official twitter has been a little spoiler-y, but I think the angle is more like Astrid & Lilly and their ragtag group of monster hunters save the school (and win the student body over in the process? or maybe the student body just won't care LOL.) As for the ending, I think depending on Brutus, yeah potentially its a big Cliffhanger, but hell- nothing will ever EVER be as Cliffhanger-y as Teenage Bounty Hunters... That was... I mean- that was... like practically cruel without a second season. I hope it is a soft Cliff, like a... a Hill... just for my own sanity.

But hell we're gonna figure it out in 23 hours LMAO, heres hoping for a second szn.

first of all your headcanons are truly great, i love these long ones and every time when i see that you post something new i'm feeling better!! my idea: hcs about metamoro dancing together like in some public party and one of them is anxious about doing this in front of everybody and some other dancing stuff

Oh!!! Ilove this so much imagine how cute would they be??

I thinkermal has more experience in dancing than fabrizio because he used to attend parties and dinners with his ex

Fabriprefers spending time at home with his family than going out so the onlydancing he ever does is the shimmy with anita on his shoulders to the themesong of moana

One daythey both got invitations to a party to celebrate 70 years of sanremoidk if this exists but pretend it does and it says to bring your +1 becauseit’s ‘strictly come dancing’

Sanremosaves some cash huh because they’re each other’s +1 lol

Ermalis excited to meet all the sanremo participants that he’s adored so much again, and he’ssuper excited to finally attend a formal event as a couple, on top of that theyget to dance!!

Fabrizioon the other hand is so anxious about it because 1) he’s never danced inprivate before let alone in public 2) he’s afraid of hurting ermal withmiscalculated moves and 3) he doesn’t want to embarrass ermal

Hejust doesn’t want to go

Ermalnotices fabri looking gloomy after they got the invitation but when he asks,fabri says it’s nothing

Thatnight ermal opens the laptop they share to mix music and he finds a few internetexplorer windows lmao fabri old man with various dance-related google searches

“how doI waltz” “how to dance with a man” “can dancing hurt your partner” “dance moves that wont make you look stupid”

Andermal’s heart breaks a little at that because now he understands

Heconfronts fabrizio about it and tries to convince him that they’ll be alright

“I’ll stepon your feet and embarrass you, ermal” “no you won’t, you’ll make me proud” “I’lllook like a clueless jellyfish” “then I will be a confident octopus and guideyou” and they both laugh at the ridiculous image

(“no butreally, bizio, come with me to this party. fuck what other people say, we’ll doour own thing and have fun” “okay but only if you teach me something before wego” “deal”)

theyhave only 2 weeks before the event so there isn’t much that they can learn, butermal teaches fabri one or two key moves like the box step, the dip (whichermal enjoys very much doing to fabrizio)

Finallyit’s the day of the party!

Everything goes well at first, they get to meet alot of Italian music legends and ermal is over the moon

Fabri feels happy too, he loves watching ermal smile brightly whenever somebody approaches them to start a conversation

Thenthe light suddenly dims and the announcer goes “ladies and gentlemen, now’s thetime you have been waiting for”

Uh oh

Fabrialmost runs to the toilet to vomit from the anxiety but ermal catches his handand rubs his thumb soothingly over his knuckles

“we don’thave to do this if you don’t want to, fabri” “but you love dancing… you shouldgo, ermal” “not without you”

Because they’re an adored couple everyone’s eyes are on them, like they’re expecting them to dance

Steeling himself, fabri gets up and goes to the floor, ermal by his side, their hands intertwined

There’re already a few couples dancing so they just try to blend in

emphasis on TRY

because it’s really hard to blend in when you’re two tall, handsome men in a close embrace, awkwardly moving along to the rhythm

ermal has his hand on fabri’s waist to guide him, which is the position they’d practiced in

it’s difficult to move because fabri is too tensed up and he keeps doing exactly the opposite of what he intends to

he steps on ermal again and again and again (ermal laughs at first but his laughter diminishes after a while because that shit actually hurts after a while lol)

“bizio, caro, relax” “i can’t they’re looking at us!!!”

ermal gets an idea, he pulls fabrizio’s head to rest on his shoulder, places his arm around fabri’s back and presses their bodies close, so now he can’t see the audience

He kisses fabri gently on the neck and whispers “just focus on me, nothing else, okay?”

Fabri does that and instantly feels safe, slowly losing himself to the rhythm of the background music, the gentle sways, ermal’s scent 

People are going “awwwwwww” at metamoro slow dancing (me af) and they’re taking photos/videos

Thank god ermal is too engrossed in fabrizio or else ermal ‘put your phones down’ meta will attack

Somewhere along the way the music changes to an upbeat one and the alcohol’s starting to kick in so they end up pulling crazy moves which make them look like old dads in love

They go home tired as hell but most importantly they had fun

Eversince then, whenever fabrizio’s just roaming the house ermal would surprise him with a dance, taking his hand and spin him round

“Come on, you have to practise for anita’s father-daughter dance you know” “ermal she’s 5″ “so you have 20 something years to practise then, good that i’ll be here forever” and he smiles so cheekily fabri kisses him because that’s essentially a confession okay 

Sometimes anita and libero join and they’re like a big ball of humans prancing around the living room

ermalwill also do weird dance moves that are in trend just to confuse fabrizio, like, he’llgo “hey fabri look at this!” and whips a naenae. and fabri goes “o… kay??????”

sunday december 26th

its been a while since i last wrote here, and there are a few notable events. both my parents got very sick with covid, and my dad was actually close to dying. he developed pneumonia from the covid and all he would do was cough and cough, and cough some more. he told me through it all, he just wanted to sleep, because the cough kept him up for days. he went to the hospital and my mom was a nervous wreck, from covid beating her down and dad not being by her side. he was in the hospital for a week or so, and when he came back he was just so fucking skinny. skinny like when he was a kid. i almost burst into tears when he walked through the door, but since then, both my parents have gotten vaccinated. theres a new variant that has overtaken delta in the US called omicron. theyve brought back mask mandates for indoor establishments and theyre urging everyone to get vaccinated and boosted. people still don't believe its a big deal, but if i write about it anymore, im just going to get upset.

I met a guy on tinder named gabriel, and we dated a couple times. then I saw him at a halloween party that a mutual friend was having and he was sick from too high a dosage from an edible. he kissed me on our previous date and that got me very excited to see him again on halloween, but he was throwing up too much and he wasn't himself. he apologized for his indulgence but it honestly wasnt a big deal to me since ive gotten myself sick plenty of times from weed. but he got distant after that and i really dont know why, even after assuring him i didnt think less of him. i send him memes from time to time or other things associated with his interests and hes polite but i dont think he wants to see me anymore. he's so tall and handsome and really sweet but ig i'm not what he wants. i know i shouldn't beat myself up over it but i really did start to like him. how do men just know exactly when to pull the knife out? yesterday he said i was cute after i sent him something pokemon related and i told him he was handsome and he liked the message so maybe theres a chance but i dont know if i want to keep putting the effort if he just like randomly clams up. i wish he would say what he means.

there is a new guy im talking to, but i don't think it'll be anything serious either. we matched a while ago on tinder and he threw his game and i threw mine back but then he just stopped messaging. then a couple days ago he just picked up where he left off and started throwing more game and like a fool im just eating it all up. he's into chubby short dudes apparently since he calls me things like "little furry guy" and "sweet fuzzy boy" and idk how to feel about that honestly. he's also six-foot-six so i already know to him im just one more prospective hoe in his rotation. he takes hours to respond even though he says he's sick at home. there i go again, feeling too much right at the beginning. but arent i at least worth a text back? I guess ive just been feeling really lonely lately, with the cold weather and all.

I started working at a sandwich shop in hillcrest called Ike's in october. I work full time and it's honestly the most easiest shit in the world. All i do all day is make sandwiches or use the slicer to slice veggies or protein, maybe portion if it's slow and besides the normal kitchen responsibilities, that's it. PLUS i think i've proven myself quite useful in the kitchen and i think my boss kind of trusts me. I really want this job to be the last one before i make any kind of career decisions.

there is something i'me very excited about: In january ill be starting a writing class at Second City!!! this is the first formal writing class i've ever taken, and it will focus mainly on sketch writing. there are six level and if it goes well, I think ill take them all. I also want to take the improv class, but that would mean I'd have to drive up to LA for that. but I think it'll be worth it to refine my (raw) talent. in all seriousness I hope it works out because writing is something i've always been good at. all my teachers have put great emphasis on my writing ability and even though i haven’t kept up as much, I know im a good writer, even a great one. but I want to sharpen my skills, so this is where i'll start. then once i take the classes i'm hoping i can get scouted by SNL writer and they'll throw me a bone, hopefully. I heard Lorne will be stepping down in a few years and I really hope i get to carry on the legacy. just a chance, at least.

i think thats all for now. wish me luck, and Happy New Year.

I had a hard time growing up with my father cause he does what we'd call tough love I guess, but I'm pretty sure a lot of it was abuse. But I always wanted to have kids and I am really good with em, people always point it out cause theres this idea guys arent supposed to be good with kids, that is ridiculous. But I think I just wanna prove I'd be a better father than him... All the discussion here about abortion and reasons to be a parent and wanting to be kinda savior to your kids it really 1/2

it really made me reconsider why I want to have kids. I don’t think proving I’d be a good dad is enough reason and also seems like a burden to put on the kid… idk if this makes sense. I wouldn’t ask a girl to abort cause thats her decision and I’m bi so I also think a lot about adoption. If I happen to have kids I will try my best to be a good dad but now I think I will wait and try to work out my issues first… that I don’t anything to my father and I dont have to live to prove him wrong.

Firstly, you definitely need to work on those issues before you have children in any fashion, especially adoption, because not wanting disability doesn’t protect your children from becoming disabled

Secondly, you might want to consider adopting older NTAB children because so many don’t get adopted and if they do become disabled they will still have NTAB conditioning so it won’t be like raising a child from a foreign culture but even then you have to make sure it’s the right choice for you

Thirdly, you don’t have to prove anything.

As someone who has always been in and out of hospitals and doctors offices for 30 years I can tell you that male nurses are by far the best and most any female nurse that has worked with one will tell you the same.

There is this misconception that men can’t be carrying or compassion or safe but men who go into that line of work or just sincerely want to be fathers like mine are the absolute best. I know it takes a unique person to be like this, male or female, but in this case I think masculine conditioning is actually beneficial.

Cis women are expected to bear pain better than cis men despite what the social rhetoric says and because they are conditioned to hide pain so often they have less empathy for other people in pain. They are also expected to be in those positions so they tend to be there because it’s expected, not because they actually care.

For anyone out there male or non-binary who is interested in becoming a nurse or caretaker or aides in classrooms and at disabled camps or special ed teacher, or anything involving disabled kids, please pursue this interest!

I have MD and it’s very rare in females so when I went to MDA camp there were just a few of us girls in a cabin but many other ones for the male children. Before McDonald’s bought it and used it as a way to make money off of experimenting on disabled children (I haven’t mentioned that in a while so a lot of you may not know the story) anyway, before that the counselors were all teenagers. There was an adult staff but they were there to supervise all of us, having teenage NTAB counselors be the only ones that took care of us or live with us was absolutely amazing.

We didn’t feel like we were being monitored constantly because everyone was a teenager which meant they were young and cool, everybody wants to be a teenager when you’re a kid. They also treated us like we were just kids, not disabled kids. We were cute and we were just there to have fun around our own people so they were there primarily as counselors, no one had formal training or anything so they hadn’t been taught not to listen to us yet. They all knew first-aid and were told about the conditions but they didn’t know what to do to take care of us so they asked and they listened. It was like this magical place until McDonald’s House™ bought us but things weren’t quite as good for my male peers. But let me put my epiphany in context.

Every single night the teenagers had a huge party. They took shifts on who would stay with us at night so everyone spent at least half their nights getting absolutely wasted and having casual sex in the woods.

There was always one night when the campers all had a “dance” and the counselors were always excited to give us a good time because we were so adorably excited to have our own party with them. And the counselors off nighttime shift those nights partied heavier than ever and those who didn’t want to were more than happy to just sleep with us. They weren’t buzz skills, they were helping people party.

It was the closest thing to a utopia I’ve ever experienced.

None of this would be allowed to go on anymore and it wouldn’t have been at that time either if the adults knew what was going on but we were all in it together, we were all technically kids. Even though our counselors were also kids we were always the safest when they were running things. The type of person who is going to even be interested in doing something like this let alone doing it to that extent is still that type of person even if they are away from home. They partied hard, really hard, and since they had the freedom to do so they took responsibility. Everyone had equal time at the parties and none of them resented us because we weren’t a responsibility, we were just too young to party so everyone who actually wanted some sleep was happy to be there in the cabins with us at night, it was especially fun for us in the girls cabin because each night we had different counselors telling us all the gossip so we ended up knowing everyone’s dirty laundry.

There were a very few teenage campers but they were “allowed” to go to the parties because they weren’t crippled kids, they were other teenagers. This also encouraged the older kids with MD to feel like capable human beings and so they would help look after all of us kids which is an experience every disabled child should have. They were cool because they were teenagers but they were also one of us, they weren’t one of them.

None of them did this because anyone was trying to socialize them or “make them feel important” by giving them “responsibilities” they did it because they wanted to. Everyone was in on it together and everyone wanted to have the best time possible so they chipped in during so they could party harder at night. It probably goes without saying that it was an amazing example for those of us who were younger.

We were observant so we always knew when someone was being forced or “assigned” to look after us but these guys weren’t, they treated us like little brothers and sisters because our bond came organically. We actually had role models that were one of us, going to the camp was one of the first times that a lot of kids realized that they could have the chance to be actual teenagers.

It’s kind of funny, they were young enough that they didn’t have a hard time bouncing back from a night of drinking or going without sleep but it made mornings easier for us children because a lot of them were waking up with something that felt like a bit of chronic illness themselves so they couldn’t have forced us to use all of our spoons first thing in the morning even if they wanted to.

But one night a party had gotten too hardy and so there was a shortage of capable counselors the next morning and the shortage was in the male cabins, the girls could always hang. Our counselors split up to go help get all the kids up which took a lot of time. The counselors that were best taking care of us physically split up amongst all of the cabins and that morning we had some of the female counselors from the male cabins come to help us instead of all of our usual ones.

I got a girl I eventually got an innocent childhood crush on, she was always “one of the boys” but she was so confident that no one would have described her like that, she was just herself and that made her a badass. She was also beautiful but I did have legitimate non-shallow reasons!

I was a lot stronger then so I was taking off all of my pajamas as quickly as I could because we all knew about the situation so I was trying to get undressed as quickly as possible so she could help one of the younger kids but she stopped me from taking my shirt off.

She said that I could keep it on while she was helping me into my pants so I wouldn’t be completely naked. I laughed to let her know it was no big deal and told her that I didn’t mind. That’s what I learned to say to the nurses throughout my life to make them a little less resentful about me but it didn’t work on her.

She looked extremely frustrated and I realized years later she wasn’t frustrated with me, per se, she was frustrated with what I had said. She said, “there’s no reason you have to be completely naked in front of everyone, most people don’t do that.”  I didn’t know what to do because I only learned to make “normal” people feel as comfortable as possible so I tried to tell her it was fine but she cut me off and said, “You know that I work in one of the boys cabins even though I’m a girl? It’s because there aren’t a lot of guy counselors so none of the boys get any modesty. I only help change one thing at a time so the boys don’t feel completely embarrassed and they still get to feel like boys.”

That was language I understood even if the concept blew me away and it’s something that comes to mind quite often.

I suddenly noticed that there were usually only people around us that had vaginas. That had to be weird for the guys. I then noticed that that they were treated like girls, not like NTAB boys. I’ve always wondered if it was any different for the boys who like other boys, because I figured that must make them more uncomfortable.

Disabled people are conditioned to be asexual but a heteronormative asexual. We are expected to get “crushes” and it’s completely safe because we can’t have sex. Why medical professionals think you can’t have sex because you sit down a lot I have no idea.

Imagine how little representation or participation socially that  gender and sexual minority children get, it’s a million times worse when they are disabled. There has been and always will be a huge need for people to work in caretaking positions that aren’t cis women.

Too bad I'm bored and I'm doing this anyway

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? ....yea 
2. You talked to an ex today, correct? ....yea and the same person as #1 
3. Have you taken someones virginity? Nope 
4. Is trust a big issue for you? Sorta....I don't really open up to a lot of people or anyone until I really trust them 
5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? Unfortunately no I'm home for the summer, and before that was finals so no not really....also it's super complicated and I turned down a hangout call a couple days before the semester ended 
6. What are you excited for? Hahahaha. Um seriously? Um I guess not doing anything? 
7. What happened tonight? Long story short mental breakdown, texted omar bc for some reason he makes me feel calmer whenever I talk to or see him 
8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? It's disgusting when ANYbody gets really wasted, irregardless of gender 
9. Is confidence cute? Oh definitely yes..like hell yes oh my god 
10. What is the last beverage you had? Bedtime tea 
11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? 2 (family), 4 (nonfamily) as I said I don't trust easily or quickly 
12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? I do 
13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? Honestly I'm home for The summer before lol my other friends so prob wrap myself in a blanket and watch movies 
14. What are you going to spend money on next? My aunt gave me 50 bucks for my birthday and I'm gonna put that to investing in a good pair of birkenstocks 
15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? ...no but it's sorta complicated it might happen again once we get back on campus 
16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? Hopefully 
17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Um maybe omar (mentioned many times before in this post), or my future roommate lydia, or hallmates mira or halle. But also psychiatrist bc she's paid to not judge me 
18. The last time you felt broken? ...currently 
19. Have you had sex today? I wish I had 
20. Are you starting to realize anything? Realize? Oh god I don't want to realize anything else 
21. Are you in a good mood? Hahahahaa no 
22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? Nope 
23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? Nope mine are like a blue-grey, his are hazel 
24. What do you want right this second? Honestly? To hug a certain someone and just cuddle with them and feel wanted 
25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? While we were in a relationship? Probably wouldn't be too happy at all 
26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? Nope my natural is like a darkish dirty blond but now it's like a dark auburn red 
27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Probably not and my mom always told me that if I was to ever marry someone they had to be tall (a joke about me being really short) and make me laugh 
28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? I'm watching archer rn and so that 
29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? Unfortunately yes, and it would be so much easier if I didn't...also see the person who I keep mentioning 
30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? Honestly it depends on what they did...some people do and some don't depending on the offense 
31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? No I don't...and again it would be easier if I did 
32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? He's knows I did when we were a thing but I called it off and I didn't have feelings for a while and then they came back in full force and I don't know if he knows they came back 
33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? Pretty much yea...I probably drink like 10 sofas a year tops 
34. Listening to? My "shit I wanna listen to rn" playlist on Spotify...currently 'my type' by saint motel 
35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?
 Nope exclusively pen and in cursive 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? Exact location? Nope but he's at home in NYC 
37. Do you believe in love at first sight? Um not really 
38. Who did you last call? My mom 
39. Who was the last person you danced with? A guy I went to a formal with...which actually is a whole other complicated situation 
40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? I kissed him bc I kissed him and I wanted to and I like him 
41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? A month or two ago? My roommate and I were out thrift shopping for clothes for her performance and we got cupcakes from the Lancaster cupcake shop (which is actually really good) 
42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? Yep, mom and dad 
43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? Oh god here come the compressed memories 
44. Do you tan in the nude? Noooooooo waaaayyyyyy I barely have the confidence to tan in a bikini and shorts 
45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? No I would not, no 
46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? No...I dreamed that I did a few nights ago tho which is weird 
47. Who was the last person to call you? A random number, probably a sales call or something 
48. Do you sing in the shower? Oh definitely yes 
49. Do you dance in the car? Yesssss again, and sing too 
50. Ever used a bow and arrow? Oooooh no but now I really want to 
51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? My high school senior pictures...o et a year and a half ago 
52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? No I like them 
53. Is Christmas stressful? Nooooo I love the Christmas season!! I like the whole lead up and season more than the day itself (if you can't tell already I'm not religious) 
54. Ever eat a pierogi? Yep, Russian heritage ftw 
55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Hmmmm rhubarb and strawberry pie 
56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? All the traditional kid ones: astronaut, doctor, vet, photographer (especially for the National Geographic) 
57. Do you believe in ghosts? I feel that there might be something in semblance of an afterlife and something that may come back but I don't know and I highly doubt its ghosts as the media and culture describes it 
58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Yep 
59. Take a vitamin daily? Yep just recently started, my mom is making me 
60. Wear slippers? Yep 
61. Wear a bath robe? Nope 
62. What do you wear to bed? Old t-shirt and if it's cold enough pajama bottoms 
63. First concert? To be determined 
64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Target all the way!!! 
65. Nike or Adidas? Hmmm idc Nike? 
66. Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos bc Fritos taste like nothing 
67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Peanuts 
68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? Hmmmmm depends on my mood, if I have to say right now maybe you 'you are in love' or 'wildest dreams' 
69. Ever take dance lessons? Nope kinda want to tho..and actually I'm taking a class in dance next semester 
70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Hmmm I never thought about that 
71. Can you curl your tongue? Yep 
72. Ever won a spelling bee? Nope 
73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? I think so? 
74. What is your favorite book? Hmmm idk it really depends on what genre and what mood I'm in 
75. Do you study better with or without music? Do I prefer studying with music? Yes,,,,, do I get more done while listening to music? No 
76. Regularly burn incense? Not incense as much but candles all the time 
77. Ever been in love? Nope 
78. Who would you like to see in concert? Hmmmm idk I'm not really a concert person, maybe bc I haven't been to one 
79. What was the last concert you saw? See 78 
80. Hot tea or cold tea? Hot tea all the way 
81. Tea or coffee? Coffee 
82. Favorite type of cookie? Chocolate pixie cookies 
83. Can you swim well? Yep I swam all the time as a toddler and it stuck with me 
84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yep 
85. Are you patient? Reasonably...tho about some things more than other 
86. DJ or band, at a wedding? Hmmmm dj? I guess? 
87. Ever won a contest? I've won scholarships if that counts, once an art contest for a sustainability ad 
88. Ever have plastic surgery? Nope 
89. Which are better black or green olives? Black olives 
90. Opinions on sex before marriage? Fine by me...also I'd be hypocritical if I said it was wrong, and it's not 
91. Best room for a fireplace? Hmmmm any room with a fireplace and a comfy chair is the best room 
92. Do you want to get married? Yea eventually