#idk I don’t talk abt him a lot for the same reason I’m afraid to talk abt jing yuan | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thecreelhouse · 2 years

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i still have a massive headache from ugly crying over the finale, so this will probably be messy, but here’s some thoughts if anyone cares !

maybe i missed something but was there any more of a reason as to why the upside down was frozen in time? idk maybe this is me being nit picky but that feels like suuuuch a major detail to mention and reference to and then not have it really amount to anything important? idk maybe it’s just me! but like i’m really interested and would love if that was explained a bit further if possible next season.

look i’m not one to kiss the duffers’ asses by any means like i can respect valid criticism abt the show and a lot of it i get behind, but it hasn’t even been 24 hours and y’all are ripping it apart already? everyone can feel how they feel, that’s normal! it won’t be everyone’s cup of tea… but damn, y’all are getting so harsh about plot points that have been under our noses this whole time lol come on now

which brings me to my next point: everyone acting like the stancy nonsense is coming out of nowhere. i’ll admit, it was jarring to me too! steve deserves better and a chance to move onward imo, and it’s great that him and nancy are friends at least!! but it doesn’t mean they have to pick up a relationship that had no future to begin with. however, it’s not surprising (at least to me idk?) that steve was still longing for whatever he thought they could’ve had. it seemed like since s3, he’s been searching for a distraction, i guess? maybe not so much from nancy herself, but the loss of love itself, and how he hasn’t been able to find a connection he felt so strongly about since. the mention of his dream of having a family isn’t far fetched imo. was it cringy for him? yeah maybe. but looking back at how he’s an only child, was constantly ignored and neglected by his own parents, it’s not an insane concept that he would want to start a family of his own. he would want to be a better parent than his parents were to him. that guy has the biggest heart in hawkins, it’s almost baffling people are angry that he voiced wanting a positive future. and while he values the found family he has with everyone now, it’s really still not an outlandish concept that he would someday want to live a “normal” (in hawkins’ standard at least) life.

the way max talks about how she wanted billy, her abusive step brother, to essentially have something awful happen to him— that’s a very common trauma response. to be afraid and compliant around an abuser in person because you’re too afraid to defend yourself? that’s incredibly common. same with how she goes on to say she eventually wanted to die herself, that was textbook survivor’s guilt right there. (doesn’t she even say something like that herself? i can’t remember i need to rewatch. but it’s heavily implied.) it’s kind of frustrating seeing some of y’all say it was a disservice to her character, when it was showing a more realistic, albeit textbook, side of surviving abuse/a specific abuser. not every survivor reacts in these ways, but to say it’s ridiculous or out of line for her character is just … silly, to say the least. not trying to justify her fake out death; i know a lot of fans are sick of that by now, but it definitely made sense in the grand scheme of things.

people are upset about will’s coming out scene and how it’s left up to interpretation. and in a way, i get it, but we have an incredibly safe, loving and supportive coming out scene with robin opening up to steve about her sexuality. and that’s not to say media can’t have multiple happy queer moments! personally, i’d love to see it more everywhere! but i also really appreciate the subtlety of will’s scene. because not everyone reacts the same, especially in the 80s, it just wasn’t as accepted back then. shit, i was just as terrified as will was when i came out in the 2000s lmao so like. it can be really terrifying for some lgbtq+ folks. i get wanting specific representation, i.e. if you don’t identify as a lesbian, rather a gay/queer masc person, i get you wouldn’t be able to fully relate to robin’s story. but that doesn’t mean we should ignore the fantastic queer representation we already have, loud and proud as all hell. i’ve seen multiple fandom blogs mention how it feels like lesbophobia, and i think that’s a justified feeling. we can appreciate the fact that coming out, especially in that decade, is on a whole spectrum of emotions. it was very realistic imo, but maybe that’s just me being an annoying ass *~*~elder gay~*~*~ or whatever the fuck.

i could word all of that better i’m sure but my brain is still fried from staying up earlier. so my apologies to anyone who actually reads this if it doesn’t make sense. i know i have some other things i wanna ramble about but i can’t remember rn.

im so so so open to discussion and theories and opinions !!!! as long as you’re not mean. i’ll leave reblogs on and my ask is still open but please don’t use it to be rude. i definitely do not have the spoons to handle that today lol.

was it perfect? fuck no. was it the best season? imo i think s2 is still the best, but this definitely was better than s3 imo. they weren’t kidding when they said this season was bigger than anyone could imagine. i thought it was really worth the wait!

#syl shut up #st4 spoilers #st4 speculation #st4 theories #pls @ all serious st analysis blogs do not come at me if i’m interpreting anything wrong #obviously please don’t read if you haven’t finished vol 2 yet #the part about billy is also not up for debate again i don’t have the spoons so just ignore this post if you like billy ok thx

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heathneycanon · 3 years

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reasons why phobia factor fucking slaps

ok this lowkey just turned into me rambling abt phobia factor while i rewatched it. putting it under a read more bc it’s super long lmao

like, the entire first five minutes are the campers being friendly to each other?? and vulnerable, to a degree??? you know i love that shit

courtney and trent?? talk to each other?? like. okay they’re never in the same frame together unfortunately, but they do have like, two whole back and forth conversations.

also in that campfire scene at the beginning, cody and trent are sitting next to each other and there are some. good screencaps

“exSQUEEZE me?!” like cody. ur such a dork omfg

duncan vulnerability hours

lindsay asks what a standee is and trent explains it and doesn’t mock her/isn’t annoyed with her at all, in contrast to a lot of the other campers interacting with lindsay. i love them as friends SO much u all have no idea

harold’s little scene with the ninjas. i love him sm. why does he have nunchucks with him when he goes to the bathroom??

leshawna is afraid of spiders and she runs away screaming from. chef wearing a spider suit??? like i don’t love spiders but if a man i knew wearing a spider costume was calmly walking toward me i wouldn’t react the same way as i would to a real spider. anyway i think this is hilarious.

season one heather vulnerability hours.....

i mean, i really wish they’d actually shown her talking abt her fear at the campfire, rather than just having it told by gwen in the confessional, but i get why they did that. regardless that one scene right before the sumo wrestler charges at her where she’s literally shaking.... i want to give her a hug

side note i hope the sumo wrestler is okay he hit his head quite a few times

ok so. trent accidentally leaving gwen buried underground because he’s getting chased by a mime isn’t like. a sweet gwent moment. but it is one of their interactions that i remember most vividly from tdi lmfao

what is a cute gwent moment is trent like. kneeling next to her while chris is burying her. and the face he makes at chris when he jokes abt not digging her up..... i love them sm

also gwen sounds so fucking dramatic when they close the box she’s in like. “goodbye cruel world” gwen ur being buried for 5 minutes ur not dying sdfjlafskj i love her

duncan hyping dj up before he picks up the snake is so cute?? like he’s clapping for him and he’s got what i call “adorable duncan face” which is where his eyes are full circles and he’s smiling. i can remember him making this face at courtney, dj, and alejandro throughout the series and it’s just. ugh loving soft duncan hours

“ah! it blinked” “it means she likes you” sadie where are u getting this information

okay so i googled if this was true and the result i got was “snakes can’t blink” so first of all i have no clue where sadie pulled that fact from and i have even less of an idea of where chris got that fucking. blinking snake from. is that even a snake??

when dj picks up the snake and they all hype him up?????? i love the killer bass so much it’s unreal

more cute gwent moments... gwen and trent talking on the walkie talkies.. they’re so cute

when the mime pops up behind trent and he does that little scream.... it’s loving trent hours u guys

trent is so bothered by a mime literally just. being a mime. me too trent. me too.

duncan and the celine dion music store standee.... everything abt that scene

"DUDE SHE’S MADE OF CARDBOARD” tyler i love you

courtney genuinely saying that it’s okay if he can’t do it (when she was being harsh to dj about the snake earlier..... duncney is so good in tdi u guys)

and then theY HOLD HANDS GUYSSSS IM SOFT FOR THEM

and THAT is what gives duncan the encouragement he needs to go for it?? they’re so good.

his “okay, okay” right before going for it... duncan’s voice acting is so good in this episode omfg

THE MUSIC THAT PLAYS WHEN HE HUGS THE STANDEE AND THEN EVERYONE CHEERING ITS SUCH A GOOD SCENE

THE DUNCNEY HUG

“duncan, you’re awesome!” and the look of shock on his face at both the fact that he did it and that courtney’s hugging him...... have i mentioned i love duncney yet?? bc i do

i can’t believe i used to dislike duncney omfg

then when courtney realizes that she’s hugging him and steps back jafksdfjlsa she’s so cute

and then the rest of the bass come over and hype duncan up more like. i love how supportive they all are in this episode!!

trent is so excited when he finally gets the mime to leave him alone fakjldjfl like he didn’t have to ROAST the dude. but he did.

chris somehow owns a remote control hail cloud?

lindsay getting excited about the “baby cloud” and calling it over?? she’s so cute omfg

trent fucking. hates geoff. gwent has geoffphobia in tdi ig

when they dig up gwen and she throws the walkie talkie at his head but he doesn’t stop smiling..... your honor i love them

owen and izzy getting out of the plane and kissing the ground together..... adorable.

cody with a fucking. watermelon on his head and covered in trash scares bridgette out of the woods. that will never not be funny to me

THAT ONE FUCKING SCENE. WHERE SADIE AND LINDSAY HYPE EACH OTHER UP. THAT MAY BE ONE OF MY FAVORITE SCENES IN THE ENTIRE SERIES. I LOVE THEM SM

the only bad thing abt this ep- tyler should have gotten the fucking point. he completed the challenge. i love courtney, but realistically, she should have gone home this ep and tyler should have stayed.

bridgette hyping tyler up...... im soft they should be friends

“quit being such a girl” courtney im sorry but the only reason you’re still in the game rn is because ezekiel made sexist comments in episode one. what are u saying lmfao

tyler and heather’s reactions to their fears rly make me think. bc like. most of the other campers have a more outward, loud reaction, maybe scream and run away. a couple are just a little wigged out. gwen gets a little snippy and is clearly super freaked out as well. but tyler and heather just. completely shut down. like, curled up in a ball, nonverbal, and shaking. makes u think.

why did cody need a calculator to figure out that the score was 7/3....... cody is canon lgbt+ bc he can’t do basic math without a calculator confirmed

also regardless of how little sense that made. at least that screencap gave us commie cody

when gwen starts trying to psych courtney out and heather like. gasps and looks shocked..... i like to think that heather feels a little bad for courtney here. heathney real.

duncan and bridgette hyping courtney up..... i love the killer bass so much omfg

courtney looks so sad when she walks away from the jelly.......

and then in the confessional right after?? she’s like. crying a little bit :( and she’s beating herself up abt it like..... :( courtney no

LITERALLY she’s like “how could i be so weak” “i deserve to go home” “you’re pathetic” (to herself) and then tells herself to show some confidence and then. she just starts crying again. and then slaps herself?? GOD I FUCKING LOVE COURTNEY SHE’S SO HARD ON HERSELF

owen just. hangin out in the tub of jelly. i love u, u wild dude. fuckin sit in that green jelly. loving owen hours

the little look that courtney and tyler give each other when they’re the last two without marshmallows..... half solidarity half “i don’t want to be the one going home”. i love them sm :(

i KNOW i said this earlier but. tyler should NOT have gone home this episode!!!!!! only bad thing abt this ep

all the fuckin chicken puns are a little bit funny tho

“he won’t be flying high tonight” bridgette chickens can’t fly

when courtney goes “okay, that’s enough” like. tyler’s not even there at this point but she’s defending him. maybe it’s because she still feels she should have gone home instead? maybe it’s because of that little bit of solidarity she felt for him when they were the final two without a marshmallow? maybe i’m reading too much into this? but idk. i think it’s sweet

okay no i have another complaint. what the fuck was the whole boat ride for tyler?? like when sadie gets eliminated the surprise she gets is that katie is on the boat. when tyler is on the boat, CRYING, after literally none of his teammates came to see him off, after he LITERALLY COMPLETED THE CHALLENGE BUT DIDN’T GET CREDIT FOR IT. the fucking. CHICKENS POP OUT?????? tyler deserved better

also some of the challenges were a lot easier, or at the very least, harder to fail than others this ep. i love it but come on. lindsay and sadie vs like. gwen vs owen and izzy vs dj. there were very different time limits, actual fright level, ability to back out once they were doing the challenge.... not a fair challenge

also uhm. if we’re being technical tyler and heather had the exact same reaction to their fears, so why did heather get a point and tyler didn’t? if the chicken had run at him, would he have won? smh

i do love this episode so much but. i had a couple complaints

okay finally lindsay’s little confessional to tyler where she blows him a kiss.... they’re so adorable lyler rights!!

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dog-forest-spirit · 3 years

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It's implied that Kagome took life too seriously before she met Inuyasha, like how she's crazy about her tests, doesn't believe what her grandpa told her as she always tries to be rational, she didn't do much with her life except study before Inuyasha came. When Inuyasha came into her life, she dares to speak her mind, think about more things than her studies, the way Kagome speaks to Inuyasha, she wouldn't talk like that to anyone unless she trusted him. I think it was to parody that Japanese parents want their kids to be too independent too, so she's a little too into it. But it's her first time seeing Kagome speaking up like that in forever.

Maybe when Kagome was a kid, 5 or so, she was like Yuki in Wolf Children. Free, curious, clever, etc. So one day a kid falls and scrapes her knee and starts screaming. Kagome starts collecting herbs and pushes them against the wound and says they'll stop it from stinging. But an adult pushes her away, saying the child needs proper treatment, but when Mrs Higurashi looks at the herbs in an encyclopedia, she realizes that Kagome was right. So she tries encouraging her to keep her gift, but the trauma made her want to be "normal".

And when she grew up, maybe having a boring office job like Aggretsuko, with no goals of her own, maybe marrying Hojo but having a childless marriage where both just work and aren't really happy. Maybe her parents were planning to travel the world when the kids moved out, and now Inuyasha can give Kagome that. So since Kagome is so often away, she never truly knows the dangers she's in, but she gets to travel and enjoy life with the one she loves, doing what she loves. And if that means Kagome is happy, her mother is happy too.

Idt she took life too seriously given the circumstances she’s more of a product of her environment getting into high school and uni is HUGE in japan so most students were like that idk how it was in the 90s but the pressure of going to school and getting a good job is insane idt she anticipated staying in the past long term which is why she didn’t drop out and wanting an education isn’t being too hard on yourself imo it’s what she wanted to do I worked two jobs and went to school to make enough money to see exo in SK before they went on hiatus it was crazy and hard af but it was smth I really wanted I think her determination to get into school while dealing with naraku was one of her better traits and an indication of how smart she really was 😭 and the grandpa thing I took it more as “I’m young and this is stupid” kind of a rebellious thing not like loudly but just “it’s grandpa telling his stories again” she probably got tired of his hard sales and never saw proof (until she went to the past) so he lost his credibity tied with youthful immaturity that you know more than the next person or have everything figured out so maybe that could be her being more based in reason but not objectively but her definition of objective I found her to be an average likable 15 year old (pretty had “friends” was smart well off support system hottest guy in school wanted her etc.) probably so the “chosen one” cliche wasn’t as cliche she just happened to share a soul with kikyo (now the well being outside of her house... convenience)

The speaking her mind thing idk how she really was beforehand since we didn’t see much I always assumed she was always very outspoken she didn’t take Inuyasha’s sht at first which is why they butted heads a lot (then she caught feelings and...she still stood her ground but not as often as I would have liked but manga inukag and anime inukag function on different levels inuyasha wasn’t cheating on kagome like he was in the anime if I remember correctly)

If I’m wrong I’m sorry ! 😭 it’s 5am I just got off from work but this is the only time I’ll have to answer stuff since I have work again then I have to prepare for an interview then work some more (plus I’m having an allergic reaction so I’m just 😭😭😭 not available) if this is in defense of my kagome’s mom hates her thing idt she hates her hates her but I feel the unknown would scare her and the lack of concern is very weird and felt too much of a convenience like in anime the mc’s parents are either dead or overseas so the story doesn’t have to deal with concerned/scared parents maybe my parents are overprotective but if they don’t know what to expect they’re freaking out—oksy not freaking out but uncomfortable they make it seem when you have a child their your 24/7 when I went to SK my parents confessed they were going to talk me out of going b/c they thought I was going to get victimized (I was 22 I was gonna go anyways but still) in uni they said I couldn’t study aboard alone b/c of me getting victimized my mom told me she was afraid and worried abt me when I went away to uni even though I had friends and wasn’t alone so I’m probably projecting a bit here Ik inuyasha had her and kagome knew inuyasha had her but her mom at first didn’t know inuyasha had her she just believed inuyasha despite just meeting him which is crazy as hell to me I’m not saying she needed to strongly object but showing some inkling that she was worried abt her well being and not just being “oop well anyways let’s finish dinner” it could be read her mom trusted kagome which is good but she’s also 15 teenagers aren’t the most rational people also when kagome came back the first time the first thing she did was cry to her grandpa about how she was scared I hope she did the same with her mom or grandpa told her mom so your daughter being terrified abt what happened then being forced back the same day (inuyasha interrupted dinner and tried to pull her away) and your only response is to play with his ears is...Ik it was done in comedy but it also shows a disregard for her daughters safety I feel most ppl would take offense if someone broke into your house then took your daughter away to place that scared tf out of her

I’m sure this came off as me picking your argument apart but your interpretation is still valid! I’m not always right! Feel free to disagree!! This is just my thoughts and reaction to it!!

#long post

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ziracona · 3 years

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hey zira, what are your hot takes on all of the fo4 companions?

Haha, I don’t know how hot they are, but I can give you a speed run! (Also I am very excited to get this. FO4 was the first open world game I ever played and just the concept of that and the hugeness of the world and branching story & sudden feeling changes towards me in companion characters totally blew my mind, & it still lives rent free in my heart).

Ada, Old Longfellow, and Strong I /still/ haven’t maxed despite having too many hundred hours to want to list on this game—the former bc they were DLC, Strong because honest to god I left him at a nice settlement and then completely forgot about him and remembering that I am the energy in this Ryan O’Flanagan video but abt leaving my super mutant in a tiny settlement alone. I will get there! To max affinity I mean. But anyway, I don’t truly know those three, so my takes are incomplete. So far though, I really like Ada. She is a good girl just trying her best. Fucks me up I can tell her to self destruct. Even though I feel sure she would ignore me, I cannot imagine ever saying that to her. It was really sweet she was willing to forgive the Mechanist and move on with her life. A good girl. Longfellow I am maxing rn (was last time I played anyhow). I enjoy him. Gruff grumpy old man but he seems quite decent and I like his idle banter and when he sings to himself a lot. Seems like he’s had it rough. Strong I liked. He’s wild, and I loved how insane meeting him was, and am worried about him eventually understanding poetry and how that might mess up his sense of world understanding. But he’s a chill dude in his own way and I am glad they gave us at least one nice super mutant.

For the companions I actually do know like the back of my hand, the speedrun:

Nick Valentine: Best man on earth. One of two fictional characters I ever called husband. I would die kill or live for him. I want to be 1/4th the man Nick Valentine is. One of the best characters ever period and I adore literally everything about him. It fucked me up early in game where right after he offered to basically risk destroying his mind to help a stranger look for her son, he asked me how I was doing. First character in the entire game to do that. His first companion dialogue is abt how you’re doing TuT. The man is very kind and forgiving and fair, but knows when the draw the line and take no shit. Emotionally mature, kind, caring, longsuffering. Incredibly damaged and broken by life, but holding on and living kindly and to help others anyway. One of the four most marryablen fictional men I’ve ever seen.

Preston Garvey: Brave, kind, sweet man. I would defend him with my life. He really just wants so bad to make the world better and life has been so hard, but he’s still trying. A beautiful and underrated companion and I would throw hands for him on sight. I adore how he whistles. A true and gentle and loyal friend. Take him to Quincy and let him get his justice it’s what he deserves. People who hate him because he tries to get help helping civilians in that game are weak. I love him so much... please give him enough time to reach max affinity he’s so worth it.

Deacon: *To the tune of You Are My Dad* You are my friiiiend! You’re my friend! (Boogie woogie woogie). Initially, he pissed me off bc he lies all the god damn time, but after we got close enough he actually trusted me, he stole my heart and I would also die for Deacon. He’s a really good person who thinks he’s shit because of who he was on his past. Also him 🤝 Preston: massive survivor’s guilt. They should be friends. Poor Deacon has been the last member of the Railroad like four times, and it’s awful. Help him. Give him love and support. He’s one of my all time faves. Also, Railroad hands down best faction and if you kill them for any reason other than like a walkthrough route video and I ever get the chance I would 100% clock you in the face as hard as I can, like going for losing teeth, and feel no guilt. I know it’s a game and that’s wrong, and I’d be wrong, but I’d still do it. Also, Ryan Alosio (his VA) saw me do cosplay for Deacon once and told me it was great and it filled me with even more love. Anyway Deacon is great. Also, his whole “There are other organisations out there. And, in time, I'm sure they're going to spoon-feed you their own patented form of bullshit. Ignore the verbage and look at what they're doing. What they're asking you to do. What sort of world they'd have you build and how they're going to pay for it.” Is one of the like, two most iconic quotes in all of FO4 & just super good in general.

Hancock: Hardcore badass man but also a good dude and a champion for the people. Man really puts his money where his mouth is and you gotta respect that; another favorite companion for sure. Big fan of the way he stabs a guy for you upon meeting, and is a cool leader who organized his crime and does a decent job actually leading. He works hard to help people and bites back hard. Social justice advocate, dangerous man about town, not afraid to cosplay a revolutionary war hero 24/7 & u gotta respect the no fucks given attitude. A chill dude. Like that he fights the institute, hates the Brotherhood, helps the Railroad, and is friends with Nick. He’s legit af. Also, his VA gives a different answer every time someone asks him about the voice he did for hancock and they’re funny af.

Piper Wright: A cool spunky lady. Lois Lane on the case, kicking butt, and taking name. She’s nice but also hardcore and smart, supportive, fun. A good person. You always get points if you like Nick (which most companions do), and they’re good friends. She’s funny and I love her. A good heart.

Codsworth: He’s great. He’s family. He’s like my...weird brother. Getting to max affinity is heartwarming and also makes my heart go :’-] . Great early-game companion bc he kicks ass and doesn’t need stims to heal. I love getting called by my name and think that was a great feature (well, my PC’s name). He’s a wonderful funky little robot dude and I am so glad he likes me.

Dogmeat: Amazing. A good boy. Doggo of the year. His actor deserved the game award she won. Cute, full of love, and plays with a teddy bear if you give him one. 100/10z

Cait: I like her a lot. She’s been through so much shit, and it makes sense she is how she is. I like they actually gave her an emaciated and messy (though still pretty) design, since she is a drug addict. And that they make her main quest about taking that seriously and wanting to get help, and that she’ll call out the player if they fuck around and do drugs in front of her after she gets rehabilitated. Her relationship to the PC if good is really sweet, and I am a fan. I like that while she’s not sympathetic to synths and thinks they aren’t people, she forgets that every time Nick walks into a room and is like “Oh hey Nicky : )”. She’s a good girl who has been through a lot and still needs time to heal and find herself, but she’s making great strides.

Robert Joseph MacCready: Human disaster (loving). Homeboy a goddamn /mess/ but I love him. He tries so hard to be cool. I love he makes you pay him to come with, then chickens out and gives it back lol. A fool ball of anxiety and bad decisions and what he thinks brovado is. I wish he, Preston, and Deacon would quit fighting, bc I am always like “ :’-] </3 Boys Please” when they swap out, but I love them just the same. He’s doing his best, he’s just stupid and a fool. Like Philip J Fry. Keeping his goddamn soldier toy, which somehow is listed as junk instead of sent to Misc with quest items where it would be fine, safe?parylizes me with fear. I’ve lost 2 hours of gameplay reloading an old save bc I accidentally lost it.

X6-88: A more complex one to answer about. He’s bad, but like, I’m pretty sympathetic to how he got that way. He was created in a lab and had his emotions mostly dragged out of him in intense psychologically damaging training so he would be a weapon and view himself as an object. I was relieved he chose me over the institute even if he wasn’t a fan of the chocie, and think that means there’s a lot of hope for him. Wish he’d chill the fuck out and quit intimidating civilians for 6 god damn seconds, but I like him. I bring him fancy lad snack cakes home from travels all the time, bc Synths are supposed to like them. Really like that he’s the /most/ sympathetic companion towards Danse in Blind Betrayal, even though he should not be programmed for that, and Danse hated him and made it clear any time they interacted.

(EDIT) Curie: I FORGOT HER BABY IM SO SORRY. I like Curie a lot, despite the fact I temporarily forgot she existed. I stg I thought she was in here. Uhhh, okay. Curie: like her character and personality, HUGE un-fan of both the way her desire to get a synth body is to be ‘more real,’ as if Codsworth isn’t a fully realized person while the same robot type she is, instead of just like. Because it would make her happy. ALSO hate how much of a Born Sexy Yesterday she is, even intentionally in not-determinate affinity talks. It’s gross. But her herself, I like a lot. She’s my daughter and I will protect her. She works at The Castle right now as their on-site medic.

Paladin Danse: I know I’m gonna take heat for this but honestly? He didn’t do much for me. I like that he looks and sounds kinda like Buzz Lightyear, and that’s fun, but idk at all why people think he’s so hot. He’s very boring & generic looking to me. Like you’re valid! Taste all be different. But he doesn’t do it for me personally in looks or personality. I don’t at all like, hate him. Or even dislike. Tbh I am fairly neutral on him. It was funny making affinity with him though. Every other companion I had maxed, I liked more and more with each affinity talk. They’d be like “So my dad was a minuteman and died and I want to honor him” or “I just want to really feel like I’m a person, for real, myself, and I am glad I met you, because the good we have achieved together is ours, even if I can’t be sure of anything else,” or “My brother threw the cultural minorities out of our city for clout bc the rich citizens were all racist, and I tried to help—I snuck them food to the unsafe ruins they set up in for weeks, but eventually, they just vanished, and I still bear immense guilt and self-hatred over not having stopped that.” And Danae’s would be like “One time a buddy of mine got kidnapped by super mutants. They turned him into one of them, and they’re all abominations, so I killed him and it made me really sad.” And I was just like “...Oh danse. I really wanted to like you more. But what the fuck.” His relationship to Haylen is sweet though. And ofc I saved him in Blind Betrayal. I blew up the Prydwin so he’s safe now too, and he lives in the garden by my house and tells me how glad he is we’re friends, and I’m p into that. Overall, my feelings on him are not strong at all though.

Porter Gage: Not a fan. Like, I appreciated he helped me kill the old boss, sure. And bc I owed him for that, I went to max affinity to see what there was to him as a person. And like, as far as raiders go, he was okay. But he wasn’t deeply sympathetic, and he’s a slaver, and if you try to liberate the slaves he and the others own, he /will/ turn on and attempt to murder you immediately, no matter how close you were, so he made his choice, and it was to be a bad person and an asshole to the last. Really enjoyed the VA’s work a lot on him tho.

And there you have it 👈👈😎. Thanks for asking!

#ask #anonymous #fallout 4 #fo4 #god I love them so much. I was really proud I kept all the OGs too. everyone but Gage. who had to go but it’s his own choice and fault 🤷🏻‍♀️#GOD far harbor was a good dlc. it’s like the main quest choice again but way more condensed and twice as f ked up. my poor MC had only #come to terms just before with all the lives she took & started healing #doing bad things she did not want to do & knew he would know about and think less of her for doing. but she did them. 😔 bc of course she did #then she had to choose between letting the dude she loved be hurt in a way he wouldn’t recover from & torpedoing her relationship to him by #she loves Nick and if it’s him or her it’s always gonna be her #I was SUFFERING. a lot. but I also loved it #don’t come into my inbox and clown about liking Danse please or Gage. idc at all #like you are welcome to your opinion I’m not gonna try to convince you /not/ to like him. plz do me the same courtesy & respect my right to #have an opinion u may not like

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movedkagen · 3 years

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NATSUO TODOROKI STUDY / MASTERPOST .

This is also mostly ripped from discord so if it’s choppy that’s why ---

TRIGGER WARNINGS : DOMESTIC ABUSE, CHILD ABUSE, LOSS OF A SIBLING, ANGER ISSUES, BODY PERCEPTION ISSUES.

Natsuo is loyal. Literally he loves his family so much. like between natsuo and fuyumi, fuyumi has the stronger quirk 100%. Natsuo HAS an ice quirk but he can only freeze things that fit into the palm of his hand...so all he does is make the cola nice and cold before his siblings drink it.

So Natsuo wants to be a family practice doctor and he wants to do outreach work. Pretty much his coping mechanism with being ignored and hating being home is he threw himself really hard into studies, and just did his HW all night in his room. To tune out the yelling anf the negligence. He got good enough grades where he got into University of Tokyo which is good but like basically he almost didn't go bc like.

his relationship w enji is nonexistent. He was an immediate failure in his eyes, he literally SAID enji didn't look him in the eye ever until recently....he never rly saw him or hung around him. and then like. by the time touya was starting to rly get shit / by the time he was "dead" and shouto got burned and rei got sent away natsuo was only five or so. So to Natsuo? enji was just the guy who lived in his house and ruined his life basically. he hated him. he didn't love him at all. He’s hated him since he was a small child. NATSUO WILL NEVER FORGIVE ENJI AND HAS NO DESIRE TO.

Me and Inad have discussed it but because fuyumi is the only girl, Natsuo is the true middle child. The one who was never looked at or spoken to by Enji. And FUCK ENDEAVOR STANS for saying otherwise, but natsuo ISN’T “the only child who wasn’t abused” or the one who “should be the least angry”. Negligence IS child abuse.

As a kid, Natsuo had a stutter. He acted like a baby for a long time. He was also chubby as a kid -- ate a lot to cope. He was always bigger than Touya, and it continues into adulthood --- Natsuo is now. thick / buff. He was a chubby kid growing up, but now he works out and has muscle however he still also stress eats bc premed is hard and gains like 15 pounds during the school year, then loses it during breaks. it's just the way his body is. This is relevant because Natsuo does have extremely low self esteem -- he thinks he’s very plain looking, that his body is big and awkward and ugly (I have him as growing to be 6′6″ at his full height, taller than Enji), and it all stems from Enji’s negligence. At his core, because of his father, Natsuo believes there is absolutely nothing special about him and that physically and personally he is a worthless person.

Natsuo has anger issues unfortunately (as we’ve seen) but does judo to let it out. tbh he storms out of the house a lot because he doesn’t want fuyumi to see him fucking lose it.

me and inad discussed this but but natsuo HAS put a hole in the wall before and Like he was maybe 15 when that happened. it scared the shit out of fuyumi and he felt so upset he literally like. ran away for two days and when he came back he cried rly hard and promised she would never see him lose his temper like that again, so he storms out so she doesn't see him angry. It was the summer before he started high school and as soon as he got into high school he started getting into judo and joined the club for it and that's been his outlet ever since. And whenever he storms out of the house it’s to go do that. He's ashamed of reminding her of endeavor somehow. he knows he’s got enji’s hairstyle and body type, and that contributes to why he hates his appearance so much.

The reason he never brings his S/O around his house is honestly that... he doesn’t like himself when he’s home. ppl love 2 say natsuo has the least right to be mad because enji didn't "abuse him" but don't realize negligence is abuse. it's literally classified as abuse. he was literally born thinking his dad felt he was a disappointment to the point where he didn't talk to him or let him talk to his youngest brother and it HAS an effect on him. natsuo has a lot of self perception issues, he thinks he's ugly and he panics if he doesn't do things perfectly in school and just. is very easily made to feel inferior and puts himself down. he doesn't consider himself special at all. He believes he lacks intrinsic worth as a human being.

Natsuo only went to college after his sister told him to go and do what he wanted to do…I promise you he was going to not go at all and was going to stay home with her until she told him she wanted him to go. BECAUSE natsuo doesn't rly consider enji a member of the family at all, natsuo has this goofy lil quirk where he thinks he's the "man of the house" even tho he asks fuyumi for help with basic things!!! most of the time it's funny but it's honestly just him being protective of her. And natsuo does cope with some perceptions of toxic masculinity --- he’s NOT abusive at all himself, but he’s goofy in the sense that he thinks he has to be the New man of the house, has to take care of his sister, has to never cry or show weakness, all because he’s male.

ENJI TAKES NO PART IN PAYING FOR NATSUO’S TUITION. He doesn’t even agree to go until Fuyumi insists she will use her own money to pay for it, and Natsuo works and studies because he wants to pay her back for every cent someday. Endeavor DOES NOT EVEN KNOW natsuo’s current address or which exact school he attends. natsuo wants it that way, but it’s also important to note that Enji never bothered asking.

Honestly Natsuo and Fuyumi probably argue a lot about endeavor, But that’s okay because they still love each other. Natsuo knows fuyumi puts everyone above herself and rly wants her to be happy, which is why.......frankly.....he’s glad kenta barreled into their lives. Because he’s like this is something Just For Her and I hope she likes him and it works out.

continuing on natsuo hates heroes and he hates his dad and frankly if he had a strong enough quirk he would have probably become like dabi. he really would have and he truly hates endeavor that much.

sb: so u agree with stain? natsuo: idk i just want someone to kill my dad.

Natsuo doesn't forgive endeavor, doesn't fuck with him, and blames him for everything that went wrong in his family. He honestly wants him to die! and he HATES the hero industry bc a literal monster like his father is praised and rewarded and they HELPED COVER UP TOUYA'S DEATH!!!!

and like with natsuo + touya.... time for pain. “Touya told me everything” / “I still hear his voice constantly” ... i think about those quotes always every time i think of natsuo. natsuo was the closest with touya and I truly believe that. He loved him more than anything . He really loved touya so much and he never got over losing him.

kinda like inad hcs fuyumi saw shouto in the kitchen, i think natsuo saw touya last bc the way he describes touya telling him.... natsuo is shaking when he says it like. That shit traumatized him. And he’s just so angry. He did not leave touya. They had to PRY NATSUO OFF OF HIM. Because natsuo is loyal.

like me and inad hc that fuyumi wouldn’t tell Natsuo where rei was for years because she knew even at 9 years old, he would have snuck on a bus to see her. Natsuo is so loyal to his family he loves them so much. He would have done anything for them. He wouldn’t have left Touya. He wouldn't have let touya go without him there. Not anywhere he couldn’t follow. Not even as a child.

and natsuo would NEVER be able to juxtapose that dabi isn't touya. I think the first time he saw Touya he would know but it wouldn’t be like. An instant look. He’s probably seen clips of some of the shit he’s done on tape and it’s always given him this unsettling feeling. But then he looks in his eyes...and he knows his eyes.

I always picture it like Natsuo forgetting however dangerous the surrounding is and chasing after him, he doesn’t even know why he’s running; he knows he wouldn’t stand a chance against him. But he sounds like a child again when he says “Touya?”. He sounds like the annoying, chubby little brother that followed him everywhere. And yeah, he would simply need that confirmation that Touya is alive to take his side because he knows more than fuyumi did. Simply seeing him alive again, and I think he’d know EXACTLY what Dabi wanted to do with Enji.

Dabi trying to scare Natsuo and Natsuo just “Touya cut it out talk to me” / “Touya I’m on your side” and it’s because Natsuo could never EVER see Dabi as a monster once he knows it’s Touya. I don’t think he could ever feel fear based simply on the fact that he loved him that much. Touya was his favorite sibling he followed him around like a puppy and copied everything he did.

Touya is the sibling he was closest to and i think the same in reverse since Natsuo is the one Touya vented to. I think fuyumi was probably really shocked when they were kids and Natsuo would suddenly say he hated enji. that he wished he was dead. She’d gasp and be like "Natsuo!"

But he’s HATED HIS GUTS since he was a little kid. He didn’t grow to resent him either. He basically didn’t care about him/was afraid of him when he was super super young, but the moment touya’s quirk didn’t work out and he was like what, 7-10? I’d say like 7 or 8 when shit started just Not Working. Natsuo was probably 4 or 5 when his own quirk manifested and was weak. Had this initial “why doesn’t dad like me” phase, but Touya just told him once something endeavor did to him or why his skin is starting to scar, and Natsuo instantly went from fear to hate. There was no build he simply hated him from that moment on. That’s how loyal he is!

He said he hated endeavor for the first time when he was five, but anyway i think a lot abt how natsuo like.... has the least ties w them all. That's why I say he’s a true middle child because he doesn’t have anything he’s good at that binds him to the family or makes him especially important to anyone. Like...he CARES about and loves shouto of course but i think if fuyumi weren't there natsuo wouldnt be in the picture at all. He just wouldn’t talk to them. Especially before he started talking to shouto? Absolutely. After now that he talks to him he would definitely stay to hang around him but before?

unfortunately because enji KEPT SHOUTO AWAY FROM THEM i think about how natsuo probably had what inasa felt where he saw shouto's eyes and saw endeavor and like. kept up that distance because of the trauma (tm) and i think when shouto got some friends and got out the house he tried talking to natsuo and natsuo was like "wait...me? you're...talking to me?" and like as soon as shouto started trying to talk to him he was rly receptive and was like shit i have 15 yrs of info to catch up on.

but i rly think that's their relationship bc he literally didn't even know what kinda food shouto liked until now?? but he loves himand has become instantly very protective of him and once again things that because he’s the big brother he HAS to teach him things and be his “positive figure” and frankly I think shouto feels a little thrill whenever natsuo openly shittalks their father because out of all of them natsuo IS the one who hates him the most openly.

#* HOWL » saved.#OK THIS IS THE OTHER ONE.

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misterbitches · 3 years

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Hello! @flootweed replying to the post from before. the long format was killing me. why does tumblr look like this...

I haven’t watched episode 8 yet...or have I? If it’s the most recent one. No.

Is the hornbill a bird? It probably is but I have a terrible memory and I’m dumb so. I skipped the last few weeks because I’m scawwed. How are you liking it? I did see someone say that the hornbill makes sense (without knowing what it is...at all) bc heart transplant patients only live like 5-15 years after but someone in those comments pointed out that he was so young when he got his and that’s pretty rare so he has a higher likelihood of survival. Frankly, this is the only way I will proceed. Since when did shows ever care about the heart transplant health? Never and it needs to stay that way!

What did we think of ep 6? LMAO. I need opinions! And omg it makes me feel special when I can point things out to people because I so...rarely get to LOL. Editing is like one of my favorite things ever so I can be super particular about it but I try to do the thing you do when you’re supposed to see if it works within its context. I’d like to go in with scissors and glue but alas.

THe mic covering....the rustling....it’s like guys...please. Ironically the audio today wasn’t great. I don’t know why. IDK if you watch c-dramas but I am not even sure what’s worse between them because they dub their dramas. But actually no it’s best to have the dubbing because even tho it is painful they have to put a lot of effort into it. LOL.

Right? @ Aey! It’s just weird if they would show us more about what he’s done instead of saying he’s done sth bad and not even explaining that....like you could even do some shitty exposition. I think if he is to be a true villain then we really need to be privvy. All the warnings make it seem like he’s a fuckin’ serial killer so when we get the scene of him at home it’s like....actually this is really serious? Maybe his pain is like...for a reason. Althought you won’t even TELL US WHAT HE’S DONE WRONG BESIDES BE JUST FUCKING WEIRD AND ANNOYING! So from what we have it’s just a realllllllll fucked up sad person lol. god i forgot about the dinner! and i totally agree. he really needs them to succeed. i like your theory because it would make the scene where he like blocks the twitter user make more sense. he also says they dont really know each other etc so it’s realllllyyyyy probable that he just sees it as a way out. if not then we shall pretend u wrote it :)

god yea i wouldnt say it is art but i also guess we technically have to since it is technically. in the way that technically performance artists are artists but mostly i uh technically ignore them. Also one of my fav BLs is called the best twins. If you do not know what it is I will not elaborate further.t

i want to know more abt poli sci majors lmao but they sound DRAMATIC/ hopefully most ppl in ur cohort arent losers!

hahahha i understand. there was just a thing on twitter about DSA and then the day before about reading discourse. the same thiings. over. and over. and over. and over. we are our own worst enemies but also our own best friends? but i hate tankies and that wont change. but hasan’s a decent guy. he said sth abt black ppl during biden’s primaries in GA or whatever and i was like chill. but he’s insecure and has adhd which means ur more open to being wrong and changing otherwise u will suffocate and die.

and totally about hiding fuck ups. i’ve tried really hard bc of organizing IRL to like...be honest, question, etc but also like...approach it naturally? because if you’re trying to be perfect and so worried you’ll fuck up you don’t realize that puts more stress on you, makes you seem like a robot, and could potentially not make you realize the mistkaes you made. also if we’re privileged in certain spaces there is just no possible way we won’t get something wrong. im light and i know that honestly any way to speak up on colorism is going to be difficult and that’s a space where i have power so i just have to figure it out. we should be uncomfortable because we have to sit with unpleasant feelings and sort through our own whatever. that just makes the next time even better and people can trust u more. i think some people sweat it sooo much or maybe they think their personal life and what theyve been through is more the norm? on the other hand people can be sf reactionary in the worst way and idk what their issue is. there was also a user who said sth very inch arresting about tankies which i thoroughly enjoyed (how like violent lefitsts or tankies / ppl who are like ooh a gun whatever just want to be violent in another space so they have shit tendencies from jump and nothing of substance which i think i agree with tbh fo ra lottttt of ppl. like their anger is actually like “no im about to beat that ass” instead of what we actually want to get done)

sort of in the same vein re: taking it easy...we coudl all be more understanding too. to slow it down like you mentioned about not being privvy to fucking eveyrthing and saying anything on our mind. i saw this person talk about y2k which was a huge deal while happening bc it was the turn of the millenium (bruh were u even alive?) but this twitter user grew up in a super super SUPER religious household and was like why do ppl make jokes about Y2K it was insanely traumatizing? though my first instinct was confused ive tried hard to like look more before i judge especially thanks to a friend of mine. turns out that with the further reading the more we found out he was just really traumatized; it was very common in religious households to be afraid of 2000. so we could have come at him with no understanding and he could have thought that everyone had the same experience with that year that he did. his feelings sit precedent though but i think it was just very hard for him to fathom.

i didnt reply bc he didnt need that and what could i have said? he’ll see what the truth is with exposure and unfortunately this was something he really did go through.

and that’s what makes most people think others could be over the top. because it sounded ridiculous but then it was this huge traumatic thing that we could have never known about. so maybe when someone sounds like actually crazy they have an explanation? of course some ppl are just batshit or annoying but that’s anywhere not just leftists it’ just means more i guess when a ~~librul is annoyed~ but it can be easy to want to make fun of ppl too. lmao. basically what i am saying is the internet? especially twitter? for leftists? in this economy? bitch it’s the wild west out here.

i am 29! idk if i said it or not. i am OLD u probably werent even born in the year i was talking about wah. i know not old-old or old at all but compared to you i’m due for a colonoscopy.

omg i hope u can get vaxxed soon! are you wfh rn? i hope ur also not in a bad state as in state state not state as in ur being :| bleh what a fucking time. it sucks that you have to fucking do work. well unless u like school. which i hope u do. i just assume everyone hates it cos i did lmao

was it the lindsay ellis drama? that bitch is dumb. if there was other drama oh wait the drama i was referring to it all happened on the same day. idk book twitter that well but i saw something from someone who was abt that shit and wowie! the american people are not that.....intelligent to put it lightly.

i’ll get better. ppl tell me they miss me and im like aw. i have insanellllyyy bad insomnia and a lot of stuff happened this year HOWEVER I SLEPT FOR TWO DAYS FOR 8 HOURS AT A REASONABLE TIME. im a new woman. anyways you too! i hope ur not too burnt out with school. we just dont know when the burnout is or we just dont know we are burnt out until we are. the panaramiciccici hit and all the things i was ignoring kind of just fell on me and sooo much happened at once. and frankly it’s hard to take care of ourselves. lord.

Like if you aren’t interested in expanding on the issue in a way that hasn’t been done before all you gotta do it like… spread resources and donate if you can. I dont see the point in having to say something about every issue especially if you (not at you specifically just in general) aren’t immediately impacted by the issue. Like is the 14 yr old white marxist named sarah on twitter really gonna have meaningful insight on anti-asian violence ?

this is part of why i cannot telecommunicate. i dont want to do shit on the internet. i am able bodied so i know that this time has been of such ease for other people. but mentally i just can’t. i don’t have a comment on hand like that and i hvae no desire to engage with ppl that way. i am a super super super solitary person but thats bc it’s MY time so when it’s like all this effort with other people i dont ever want to be alone. it’s the same with the way i approach filmmaking. it isnt a sole thing so i hate it not together. that’s part of how u can get so sucked in and repeat doom scrolling. i was in this webinar last may after [redacted] and this black woman prof said “read with a community and talk” because otherwise she said we are torturing ourselves. you can’t carry that weight all on your own. unfortunately i hate zoom, discord, slack, signal, whatsapp, facetime. you name it this panera has made it evi.. L

you make a really excellent point. i think the young young gen zers are really really just interesting because it’s like this whole new world for them with leftist politics and they just can’t grasp the horrors of the world and the kind of freedom being a leftist can bring. and so many people don’t grow out of it. those people so happen to be the “least productive” in terms of how much time they spend IRL withe these issues. naturally, younger kids are gonna have a harder time. they are not as mobile as well so the internet becomes this place. but then it’s this echo chamber. and many times just things posted without sources. and social media NEEDS that to exist.

i think of the irony of leftist kids on tik tok and while i am happy it’s reaching them it’s just....different. very different. the growth of social media is so good but also so fucking sad, it’s too much! i think the point about not writing everything is major. even i have to do this which is part of the disappearing.y ou need to detach and make sure your head is on straight again. but when you think eveyrone has to be privvy to every thought and you can’t just sit back....which twitter and social media doesn’t encourage. you have to join in. that’s often why when i have something to say it is dense because i don’t feel like repeating it. ever. lmao ust ever. i cant pay attn. social media is a fucking minefield for my brain u can get so lost in it and absorb it but once u start talking you may not be able to stop.

i think a big part of that is it not being a leisurely thing but sort of just in our lives always. this sounds like a grandpa rant but ykwim. We dont have to see the same thing over and over again. And eventually it gets sincerely diluted or its diluted bc of capitalism or whatever. Or if theyre very young or maybe they don’t have like the greatest way of sharing the knowledge? then it can be butchered. I hope this is making sense...i’m talking beyoond the boring surface-level milquetoast shit. i see really ahistorical stuff on there from leftists (like this thing about NK + africa and it being a beneficial rship as opposed to a um not beneficial one. and it isn’t. beneficial but this young black girl was talking abt it and noname rtd and i was like it’s just too complex. there’s no good/bad here just bc it’s not america. dont get me started on this.)

but Lol that was kinda off topic but I think what I meant in my last reply about not turning off the voice in my head is about when I consume media, not necessarily when I’m online talking about. Even if I have criticism for something, I’m usually pretty chill when consuming fandom content bc I think being serious online all the time is kinda boring. Like sometimes I’m analyzing theme and shit but really most of the time im memeing.

exactly.........gotta laugh. thats why sometimes im like i cant think lmao. unfrotunately i have been ARGUING with ppl on the internet for rly no reason when i could have replied to ur very nice fun wholesome message. i love torture. i miss memes.

“ i think the people who get the least enjoyment out of that are those so obsessed with getting upset with anyone thinking outside of their lines as if it equates to them “ EXACTLYYYYY

kekekekeke im glad u got it. it’s like with conservatives throwing around snowflake. now im beginning to question who the real complainers are.

LMAO exactlyyyy. i posted a screenshot of this writer from twitter saying that exact thing. Like first of all, I’m...an adult? and if you are as well uh? i’m sorry for you but are we 12? But how is it affecting u this viscerally? And if it does why dont u...do...research? pihgofuaipoajghou but honestly everything u said. we’re trained to go into it with nothing. i was only around ur age when i started to get more serious about this stuff but you’re like lightyears ahead of where i was at 21. did i say this but i’m in iww and literally i can tell u in 2016 i did not think 2019 me would be in a union bc i told my friend in a train station that we don’t need unions. i was 23...but the thing is i didnt know what i was talking about. at all. and i knew i didnt know and she knew i didnt know and now i am the clown.

also yes at critical engagement. i had to learn so much through experience and this is tuff that i coudlnt be shielded from. there’s an empathy you kinda have to develop and this understanding that you move through the world as this person who is “nowhere and everywhere; nothing and everything” so i’ve always had to think about things differently just to survive. that’s also what can drag a lot of people towards it like theres so many black kpop fans bc i think a lot of the pain in SK can be mirrored (sort of) through our history. and theres currently a history now but it had to be forged. uh what was my point oh yea however i wouldnt have been able to move further if i didnt have my background to go off of bc i knew something was off when i started getting into all these things (ill give u a hint) but if i had no prior knowledge and didnt have to think about it then the critical approach is either stale or stupid.

i had to research but i dont understand how ppl are so bold with little to no research and understanding? thhey just inherently know with also like ZERO experience in what they need experience in. engaging critically means “how i see the world” with dashes of trying to be open adn understanding or whatever. actually that’s another thing like being afraid of criticizing things bc theyre foreign to you so u give it a pass (like we discussed) but it doesnt hAVE TO BEEEE JUST REAAAAAD and then take all the info ur teensy brain and apply it. be a normal human being and dont be fucking rude and racist. thats it! u can complain abt literally anything without being a dick.

as we start with LW and end with LW.....what do we think (i asked this already) omg please share wbl thoughts i THINK i know what ur talking about. well it could be two things; their rship when they came back and the physicality and then pei shou yi. i almost dont even want to use my brain to fucking look at that. i think wbl can get away with more bc of visual~*~*~* reasons (like literally, the look of the show. there’s more space to get lost in the frames. many thai dramas are a lot more literal? this isn’t the right word but it’s very heavily character focused particularly bc of $ i think) though good production also underscores flaws so i am also wrong. but like do u know what i mean? u have to kinda focus on it? or maybe it’s just cos like.....ur so used to it in thai bl idek. i’ve seen tw bl ofc.

look i swear i will justify this forever bc there are some things we miss right but if u feel like someone’s a bad actor....theyre bad. it’s about tone movement etc etc etc and since most thai bl productions have 0 interest in that....well. they take these newbies and put them in these situations. we dont understand thai but if we see them and we’re like “wow this is really bad” then they’re bad lmao. IDC i will never be like cos idk what theyre saying NO WHY HE LOOK LIKE A ROBOT???????? DOES HE EMOTE? why is he CRYING WITH NO TEARS? and it’s not even a total requisite to cry with tears(i mean for me it is) but it’s just like what is happening on ur face right now young man????????

painful.

the inflection stuff is very valid ooh good point tho but that’s only a part of the piece. plus we get used to the way they communicate. like the ppl from sotus were prtty bad. i dont like that show but thats an ex of ppl liing the actors and the person i thought was better other ppl dont think that? well apparently hes a shitty guy but. um. so when theres decent acting its so glaring.

although i must say even tho i dont care for 2gether anymore and would never like to be reminded about its existence (only bc i just cringe lol) i honestly....didnt think bright was a bad actor? but people keep saying he is and i am much more inclined to believe them than myself. though i am not often dickmatized that could have been it. until he opened his mouth and ruined it and then i stopped paying attn.

although honestly i’m so much more critical than i could be positive. i have ben stumped for the last day about how i wasnt mad at his acting in the show. is it me? is it him? who’s......the wrong one.....(me)

oh shit they have been denied? i haven’t been paying attn to whats been going on recently. i just got into it on MDL because of snowdrop. sometimes i literally cannot engage bc ill just be like alright well im black so this power button in my head is going off when ppl talk abt that shit. back in the day when kpop jawns were saying some real outta pocket anti black shit (now everyone is slick with it) it’d always be THEY DONT HAVE GOOGLE THEYVE NEVER SEEN A BLACK PERSON but really it’s like no...maybe they are just racist? that’s ok too.

also the past 2 weeks have been um atrocious bc how fucking easily people fell into the pit of white supremacy and started to turn their ire towards black people and making a competition between our groups just like they wanted. it’s not about the women who are dead anymore, who were sex workers, their womanhood, being asian, being poor anymore. it’s about how much black people get attention and why people only pay attn to us. i am not feeling very generous this week for ppl to excuse that hsit.

on a lighter note, ppl say that abt the whole husband and wife thing. i dont know how to explain how angry that shit makes me but maybe it’s because i do not want to think of my body in relation to a fucking penis at all hours of the day. if bls could kindly not do that it would be nice lmao

yes there are a lot of those. who are only there to gawk lmao. and just idk worship bc of the cult of personality thing bc of how weird and open they have to be as actors. some of the others are people who /think/ theyre really smart (i think im asmart but i also think i am very dumb and i have adhd to prove that MEDICALLY!!!) but are actually not? or their observations arent great? or idk if they are they arent interesting? but i think well..........we have more refined palettes :P

jk also theres just different personalities. you and i mesh more bc we have a lot of the same beliefs and are coming from the same place. that makes it easier to understand as well. i really try to remember that but some people are really weird so. again just...the perception of certain things even down to acting skills. but i also dont like.......believe this genre can really do anything at all. on one hand i want them to do it right bc it’s a piece of work so they should. be proud of it. cos most things arent advancing us bc representation and culturalism are a lie bla bla. it’s just that when the depictions are negative or not done well it adds to the problem as opposed to the things that are well done are fairly benign and can’t really pull us back (perf example is the black panther film. i woudl definitely not say it was transgressive as a literal work but visually it’s just stunning. and it’s sad that it’s stunning and surprising but still with basically an all black cast of mostly dark people abd like what it means in the zeitgeist yes. it’s also just a good movie. but it’s still imperialist prop and unfortunately and this is fucking pathetic to say it “opened eyes” in other countries where they hate black ppl and ignore their own racialized minorities HENNYWAYSSSS a better ex is moonlight except moonlight isnt mainstream and is indie tho...still thru a funnel of capital bc a24 but who cares bleed the fuckers dry is my motto. my point is moonlight is both a great work and doesnt bring any failures to the table and its existence helps in ways outside of art but they arent the defining things giving us material advancement sooooo i mean it’s complex (this is my conclusion to everything um guys it’s complex)

er i had one more point in conjunction to above. oh yea so i like dont need all these extra things to make it progressive. like people really want more women in the show and i am honestly like i really dont. i dont want them to actively do this. if they cant do it naturally then let someone else do it. i am not asking for more bc i dont want it from them. when something comes along i embrace it but i do not see why women should be represented when the genre RELIES on patriarchy. there is no complete satisfying existence for the women in these series. i dont want it. i dont ask people to show us~*~* or respect~* like fuck no the people who make it make it and hopefully more will make it in the future but i will not beg bc THEY DONT WANT TO DO IT SO WOULD FORCING IT MAKE IT BETTER? just fucking leave them out entirely. that’s the answer if theyre gonna make nasty female characters then those bitches can geaux. we have other plcaes to be. booked. and. BUSY!

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gunmetalgrey-trashpile · 3 years

Text

SMS [ bucky ] : for @diabolicaltendencies

SMS [ bucky ] : i know everything about him, more than anyone SMS [ august 📷 ] : but good luck kicking my ass, id like to see it

SMS [ bucky ] : ive fucked over bigger people than u pal dislocated my brothers shoulder and he’s 6.3 u even got two shoulders?? SMS [ bucky ] : height isnt everything i got one and a half SMS [ bucky ] : so that’s half the job done right there Ur literally fighting with an arm tied behind ur back bro SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah and ill still beat you ask august abt that SMS [ bucky ] : fat chance loverboy even my fucking ex was bigger than u and I put him in A&E U fought Auggie?? u really do have a death wish SMS [ august 📷 ] : we didn't fight fight but i can beat him at armwrestling so ill take my chances with you SMS [ bucky ] : he’s got a heart probably did it bc he felt bad 4u SMS [ august 📷 ] : oh no this was a fair fight SMS [ bucky ] : says who SMS [ august 📷 ] : me and if you ask august, him too SMS [ bucky ] : ill yell at him through the door although maybe he’s not so strong he hasn’t broken it SMS [ august 📷 ] : im rooting for him to kick it down i just think itd be fun but yeah see what he says SMS [ bucky ] : i will kill you and dump ur body off a bridge SMS [ august 📷 ] : you wish i liked it better when you werent threatening murder SMS [ bucky ] : tough titties SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah i guess so SMS [ bucky ] : he won’t reply I think he might be sulking SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah well you stole his phone SMS [ bucky ] : that doesn’t make him special i don’t have a phone what was I supposed to do SMS [ august 📷 ] : get a phone of your own? SMS [ bucky ] : gross -100 why would you even suggest that SMS [ august 📷 ] : because thats what normal people do SMS [ bucky ] : what am I then Choose ur next words carefully SMS [ august 📷 ] : not normal SMS [ bucky ] : :middle_finger1: SMS [ august 📷 ] : you asked for it and i was nice SMS [ bucky ] : I am a GIFT My presence is a PRESENT You are lucky to have any of my time thank you very much SMS [ august 📷 ] : am i? i mostly remember being interrogated SMS [ bucky ] : not everyone gets that pleasure ok SMS [ august 📷 ] : do other people keep a closer eye on their phones? SMS [ bucky ] : you’d think so but no I’m pretty sure my brother has a fake one as he’s less bothered about it SMS [ august 📷 ] : which one? but it seems likely, if this is something you do a lot SMS [ bucky ] : the politician don’t see much of the other two SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah wouldnt be surprised really? i guess august said severin was a doctor SMS [ bucky ] : docs busy yeah baby’s song whatever he does mynameisuntoldYesterday at 22:12 i guess it's hard to keep track with so many of you SMS [ bucky ] : so many better get learning pal if you ever want to make it that far mynameisuntoldYesterday at 22:14 i've got a handle on what he's told me so far but yeah i'll do what i can SMS [ bucky ] : august tell you much about his side? mynameisuntoldYesterday at 22:15 a little bit - he mentioned his brother SMS [ bucky ] : Must not like you that much then SMS [ august 📷 ] : how come? he's allowed some privacy though apparently not from you SMS [ bucky ] : privacy and trust aren’t the same thing SMS [ august 📷 ] : okay yeah thats true but i dont think hes cheating or anything and if i dont have his trust thats on me SMS [ bucky ] : it is buckski SMS [ august 📷 ] : i am actually trying with him just so we're clear SMS [ bucky ] : what does trying look like cheating?? ur at the monogamy stage?? SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah i think so SMS [ bucky ] : or is this assuming?? SMS [ august 📷 ] : half assuming half it's been long enough that i wouldnt be surprised given that he's kept coming back, im counting that as a win since he's all over the world half the time SMS [ bucky ] : wow sounds like someone needs a big boy conversation SMS [ august 📷 ] : probably but im not having that with you SMS [ bucky ] : why not im a big boy SMS [ august 📷 ] : because it's between me and him SMS [ bucky ] : I am now the referee of ur relationship do u really like him SMS [ august 📷 ] : that's weird yes SMS [ bucky ] : promise me i will fuck ur life up of you mess with him im not kidding SMS [ august 📷 ] : i promise SMS [ bucky ] : im an expert at it SMS [ august 📷 ] : you've got my full backing to fucking up lives? SMS [ bucky ] : google me you’ll see he deserves someone who’s going to put him first no matter what SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah ill do that he does and i hope i can SMS [ bucky ] : so you break his heart you’ll live in total misery till ur dying day or I kill u Whichever comes first SMS [ august 📷 ] : good shovel talk its good you care about him and ill keep it in mind SMS [ bucky ] : more than anything pal you should be very afraid of me SMS [ august 📷 ] : ill allow you that id be afraid to see what youd do even if i can definitely take you in a fight SMS [ bucky ] : watch ur back I come armed which is easy in ur country SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah dont fucking remind me not to say i probably couldnt come armed too for that exact reason SMS [ bucky ] : u shoot? SMS [ august 📷 ] : not much anymore but yeah army SMS [ bucky ] : wait that’s what you meant by vet ahhhhhhhhhh SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah did you think i worked with animals fuck that's hilarious and that's why i can take you in a fight SMS [ bucky ] : shut the fuck up SMS [ august 📷 ] : no im having a good time SMS [ bucky ] : why was I supposed to think it WASNT that SMS [ august 📷 ] : because its obvious??? add the arm and you've got all the context you could want SMS [ bucky ] : you could have lost it to a big dog or a horse idk SMS [ august 📷 ] : i dont live near horses but yeah maybe or a rat theyre big here SMS [ bucky ] : HOW BIG SMS [ august 📷 ] : i knew someone who saw one that was catsized SMS [ bucky ] : yh good luck m8 of ur not a horse guy SMS [ august 📷 ] : definitely seen one close to that why oh your family yeah ive never rode SMS [ bucky ] : well now I want u to survive the fight just to die that way SMS [ august 📷 ] : ill survive the fight and watch for rogue horses

#discord thread 001.5 | bucky and alex texts #epiitaphs #v; ⋱ it’s just another graceless night - but when we’re dancing I’m alright ⋰ ⦙ |*| ( alternate musicians )#diabolicaltendencies

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ogeeitsme · 4 years

Note

Do you mind if I ask 11, 8 and 25?

(the post was strtd by peter n ended w me, Kris kdnkdn)

We don’t mind!

11 - first impressions of your fictives

Woah, I don’t know who to answer this- mostly because I’m like, should everyone say their thing? Since you know, everyone has different perspectives? To keep the answer short, I’ll just say my point of view! And if anyone has specific people they wanna ask, you can ask again! Actually, starting now, if you guys want someone specific to answer you can say so!

So... I won’t state everyone, because there’s a lot of people, but I‘ll do the people I’ve talked to properly!

Chara - Scary and really serious, like, they don’t have to tell me anything I could totally just leave the room if they gave me a glare. Even if they’re shorter than me, they have this like vibe that tells you that they don’t mess around

Kris - I thought he’d be quiet at first, he didn’t move a lot, but then he was suuper welcoming and dragged me into a lot of stuff- honestly he really helped me into getting used to front a lot! It felt safer when he was around, especially in my first days

Mister Crowley - he looked really business-y, but I liked him. I thought he was cool, and then he ended up being one of my dads! I thought he’d be a more angry person, but he’d rather lounge on a sofa

Miss Toriel - she’s soft! And she’s such a good mom.. she’s so supportive of everyone and just wants everyone to feel safe and happy! She really cares

MJ - I won’t lie, I was like super weirded out, excited, and worried ALL at the same time. Like, I was just is she gonna be okay here, like is it gonna be weird? And then you know, she found out I liked her this whole time and I found out too I think, and I guess we’re.. together now?

Miss Undyne - very loud, super supportive, and i was afraid that she’d just supplex me if she wanted to. She kinda yells a lot- but to support you!

Frisk - finally, someone else who gets to be called “baby”!

Mister MTT - I was honestly really nervous to meet him.. I was the first person he talked to- and that fear of when new members say “oh I’ve been here a while now!” Is real. Then I saw Frisk run over to jump all over him and he was really cool. He’s super flamboyant and when he talks in the body, he still sounds like a celebrity! He really cares though, I think that’s awesome

Miss Fluttershy - she’s kind of like the show.. uh, I won’t lie, I was a little tired after the first few days..? because she was panicking almost the whole time for two days straight and the emotional bleed was pret-ty intense so we were kind of having a panic attack non-stop for a while..? After that was over, she apologized and was really nice about it! Also ponies are tall??? I’m 5’6 or something and I forgot how much taller horses are after I saw how tall she was- and that’s a pony- geez

Miss Tempest - Uh, pretty angry.. when she and Miss Fluttershy came to the system at the same time, they apparently got a flood of memories of recent events so.. it’s like they got. A little run through of what they were getting into- so Miss Tempest got a quick summary of everything and that’s what got her mad when we first met..

8 - Songs that remind your introjects of their source?

[content warning 4 violence, harm, vent music :,^)] [ps this part took so long 2 make Idk y mksksh]

Peter - I’m not sure.. but I guess I’d have to say old-ish music (especially upbeat ones)? Maybe like.. new wave? Uh, I don’t like just new wave but they remind me of my source a lot. But sometimes they’re a weird genre. I’m not sure why I like old-ish music a bunch, but the others think it’s because of my movies’ OST? And yeah, pf I agree. They just remind me a little of Uncle Ben- he introduced to some music as a kid. And it just reminds me of my room, hanging out with friends- good vibes

Sal - Rock and Metal, for obvious reason lol. Besides Sanity’s Fall (they’re in youtube, check it out) it’s those for sure. GOD, actually the other day, we were revisiting the Halo Theme song- specifically the Mjolnir version and [chefs kiss] oof [chefs kiss] so good. It yells my source vibes. Actually I have a playlist just dedicated to rock and metal, and all my playlists are public on spotify, so if you have the skill you can definitely find them- shouldn’t be that hard

Kris - TBH IDK,,, bc I like a lot of genres,,,,, b I g (besides the DR OST) I’d say mayb contmprry soul? Or neo contemporary soul? Actlly I’m thinking of different state of mind by kid bloom bc it reminds me of my room b like in a calm way? I named my playlist on chill music aftr that DKJDKJ. Uhhh most of the songs that remind me of my source dsnt bring that much good mmries :,^) but here’s som songs that remind me of source: Soda by Nothing But Thieves, Don’t Know What To Do by Ck9c [it’s undrtle b I rel8 except this is wht I feel twrds Asriel n not the othr way arnd, esp when I was new 2 the sys :^( ], Nervous by The Neighbourhood [like how ppl must hav felt abt me in my source/canon :,,,^) plus how I felt w the entity arnd,,,, lowkey accur8 it hurts KDJDKHDDBHM if it wasn’t a love song lol], Afraid by The Neighbourhood [OOF I rmmbr I listnd 2 this a lot when I was new, this was rlly source vibes <:^/ me @ the entity, more accur8 than Nervous tbh], You’re Somebody Else by Flora Cash [probs Noelle @ me], SRRY MINE IS SO LONG

Chara - (I’ll b typing these 4 thm bc they’re not rlly the best rn, a LOT reminds thm abt source/canon so I’ll just grab a handful of diff emtions JDKDJ n I wnt explain jst go nuts I g KDHDJ- Kris) Won’t Give Into Darkness by Ck9c (obv rsns), Love Like You by Rebecca Sugar, The Valley by The Oh Hellos, Back To You by Twin Forks, Dust Inside The Light by Florist, Everything’s Alrightby Laura Shigihara, Please Leave a light On When You Go by Britain Ashford, Two Slow Dancers by Mitski, Stuff Is The Way by They Might be Giants, Echo by Circrush, Brutus by The Buttress, No Culture by Mother Mother, Choke by IDKHBTFM, This is Love by ATC, If I Killed Someone For You by Alec Benjamin

Spinel - (she isn’t arnd Rn b I’ll answ 4 her n say electro swing n swing music 👀, it her fave genre b also it reminds her of source dmdb)

Mettaton - he says anything that sounds like you’d put it on a runway/catwalk pff

25 - 3 Rndom fun facts abt an introjct!

I’m frnting now so I’ll pick on som1 MSHSWNK

I’m pickin Sal

-> he changes his hair like all the time, b we notice the messier it is the worse his mental st8 is in? If he’s feeling rlly ok, he’ll braid it, half of the time he’s in a pnytail or his hair is dwn, b sometimes u’ll catch him w his pigtails, esp w his age is yngr

-> he actlly has his guitar inspace! Sometimes he jams by himself n it’s Rlly Good 👌👌👌 (he wishes the body cld play the guitr sldjdkj, I rel8)

-> he has a cat!!!! inspace!! Like if u walk in his rm, his cat is like somwer, uslly On him

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mattsyrmiller · 4 years

Text

( ✩ - ARON PIPER, MALE, TWENTY-ONE, HE/HIM ) have you seen MATÍAS MILLER around campus lately? HE is a SENIOR studying as a BUSINESS MAJOR. they remind me a lot of covered-up tattoos, cigarettes, endless streams of coffee and business agendas, probably because they are LOYAL & TACTICAL. HE is living OFF CAMPUS at the moment! ✩ beti, 21, CET, she/her. – )

hello hello! i’m beti and this is my fav child Matt!! i tried do a summary of his bio but it ended up so long i added a summary to the summary lol,, scroll to the bottom for that. also hmu for plots and connections, either here or on discord!

matt was the result of an unplanned teen pregnancy

his dad’s parents disowned their son upon learning he fathered a child at seventeen and denied him any and all financial support, which among other things meant he would no longer be able to attend an ivy league business school he’d already been accepted into

his mom’s parents helped with the bare essentials for raising a child, but never gave more than absolutely necessary, oftentimes leaving the young family struggling to pay their bills

his parents started having a lot of relationship problems but stayed together for the sake of their child, as soon as his mom realized matt was the only thing keeping the family together, she “accidentally” forgot to take her birth control and gave birth to twin boys and later a little girl

when matt was 8 his parents had a nasty split, dad moved to new york and completely cut ties with his family, matt was the only one to keep in contact with him

the reason his dad moved to NY was because of a once-in-a-lifetime business opportunity that skyrocketed his venture capital firm and made him a prominent name in the world of venture capital

Matt has spent his whole life trying to be like his dad, he always pushed himself to be at the top of his class, had to be the president of every club he found himself in, attended all local business talks (first as a visitor, then as a speaker) and has been working on getting his name out there since he was basically a child

he ended up graduating high school a year early (partially cause he knew it would look good on his resume and partially because he really wanted to get out of his hometown,,,, his mom remarried soon after his dad left and yes, her new husband was actually a very cool guy, but the whole family tried to pretend like matt’s real dad didn’t even exist and the stepdad was the only guy in their life and that just,,, irked matt a lot and caused a lot of fights in the household)

he moved to California when he was 17 to major in international business at Columbia

his dad’s net worth had reached the millions by then, he didn’t really care to share the wealth with his ex-wife and kids, but he did start sending generous checks Matt’s way once he started uni

with no financial troubles to weigh him down, matt spent his undergrad years as a library dweller by day, party animal by night, his ability to balance a thriving social life and a successful academic career probably his biggest talent of all

at the beginning of his very last undergrad semester, his dad fatally injured himself while rock climbing, leaving all of his shares of Miller Ventures to Mat

matt became the majority owner of one of the biggest firms in the country basically overnight with his net worth now just shy of $700 mil

miller ventures came under fire when news broke on then 19-year-old matt being the new guy in charge, most people didn’t even know his dad had a child and so they weren’t too trusting of the decision to leave this huge company in the arms of some unknown kid

matt became terrified of ruining his dad’s legacy, he quickly appointed one of his dad’s business partners a CEO and told everyone he would remain a hands-off owner until he completed his degree and got some real-life business experience

hard work has always been his means of distraction and so he managed to graduate top of his class at Columbia and even get himself accepted into NYU’s business MA program that very same year

he lives off-campus, in a manhattan penthouse he inherited from his dad

at the moment, every decision he makes links back to the firm and his fear of doing something stupid that could ruin its reputation

if he’s not good friends with people and doesn’t feel 100% comfortable around them, there’s about a 99% chance he’ll be extra fake when interacting with them, mainly because he’s afraid of cancel culture and doesn’t want to do anything stupid that would reflect poorly on the value of his firm

for that same reason, he doesn’t have a real social media presence and is super cautious about how much he shares with strangers

he used to be a huge party animal, but stopped going out as much after inheriting the firm (again, because he doesn’t want to be labeled as a reckless young drunk who’ll just run the firm into the ground). He’s still very social though and loves to host events, one of his favorite things is to just get together with friends and do game nights (he loves event hosting!)

In general, he’s just really hardworking, really cares about his image and will be super fake nice to everyone, though he’ll revert back to the outspoken, direct, flirty kid he’s always been with people he trusts

he’s pretty much just a walking identity crisis, split between being a serious businessman and a twenty-one-year-old carefree daredevil

Also! After his dad died, his mom refused to go to the funeral or even let her other kids attend it, she asked Matt to give up the firm and come home instead, they had a huge falling out over it and ended up cutting ties with each other

Even though they don’t speak anymore, Matt still loves his mom and is thankful for all the sacrifices she’s made, he misses her and his siblings very much, but is too stubborn and too proud to go home. If anyone asks, he’ll just say his family is happy back in Atlanta and won’t even hint at any family drama

His mom is Spanish and she made sure her kids grew up around Spanish media so Matt is bilingual, but I don’t really speak Spanish so please don’t test me on that………… he also speaks fluent german and is attempting to learn mandarin cause ykno its good for business

His full name is Matías Sawyer Muratalla Miller but he dropped his mother’s last name after the falling out so he goes by Matías Miller in public/business settings and by Matt Miller in private.

Idk that’s it I think? He’s a dog person, hasn’t seen most major blockbusters in the recent years, deleted Netflix cause he wants to be more productive but ironically still has cable, one of his goals is to open a board game cafe though it's more of a hobby for him than a main business type of a ting, he loves sports, huge soccer fan, loves to work out, loves being outdoors, prefers to be with people than alone, he’s definitely an extravert and a big social butterfly

that’s all i can think or right now but hmu and we can do plots and connections and i’ll let you know if i think of anything else!!

SUMMARY:

He’s a business boy who used to be a party boy until his dad (his #1 role model in life) passed away and left him with a huge venture capital firm, now he’s in a constant state of an identity crisis, split between not wanting to take life too seriously and always being afraid of doing something stupid that could ruin the reputation of his firm, he’s a lil paranoid about how people perceive him and what kind of an image he gives off to the world. He’s the biggest extravert you’ll ever met and n e e d s people around him at all times, needs at least like five friends to talk about life and feelings with (but is also a bit paranoid people only want to be friends with him for his money so that sucks) uhh yeah idk he’s doing his best i know he seems fake at first but idk give him a chance he’s a very loyal friend and fun to mess around with when he forgets to give a shit abt his reputation

#nyuintro

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honeybee-babe · 5 years

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How can you excuse all of the abusive things Luther has done to his siblings (especially Klaus) throughout the series? And don't pull the "he was drunk" card. And without implying that Luther locking up Vanya isn't intentionally cruel or intended to hurt her? He has the ability to think logically, unlike Vanya he isn't experiencing a literal psychotic break down.... Please, explain this to me logically. Thanks.

~ wowowowowowow i clenched my jaw all night thinking about this ask~~

Yikes. You’re not asking me why I “excuse his actions” (I don’t), you’re asking why I see him as a human being with flaws and trauma which need to be addressed rather than the literal devil. And why I don’t think he is irredeemable based on a few terrible choices (when he has also made some great ones and showed affection for his siblings in the past). I honestly think people hate Luther because it’s easier to have clearly good characters and clearly bad characters, even in a show that actively and artfully avoids that dichotomy.

Why do you care that I like Luther? I’m not bashing your faves or causing any harm to you? I am not trying to tell you to like him or convince you he is a great character. I know he has flaws.

But if you really want to know how I “excuse all his actions” (which…. I don’t?), I’ll humor you, but I’m answering the question you’re really asking:

Why Do You Not Despise Luther?:

This response is really longwinded but THIS QUESTION IS REALLY OVER-SIMPLIFYING(!!!) so I feel it’s warranted.

First, I’m gonna address the “abusive things Luther has done to his siblings throughout the series:”

I am not excusing any of the things Luther “does to his siblings,” I’m just saying we should extend the same amount of courtesy to him in sympathizing with him and understanding the motive behind his actions (just like we all do with Vanya). And also consider the fact that he is deeply traumatized and has literally been gaslit his entire life into thinking he has to follow a specific model that was set out for him as “leader.” Literally he has been taught that he is nothing without the UA and being a leader, and I don’t think people release how damaging that is to a person?

But also hot take: I don’t think Luther is abusive towards his siblings at all? Not until the last two episodes for sure. I think he is insensitive towards others’ emotions at times, but he is never cruel just for the sake of being cruel. I honestly think Luther is incapable of picking up on emotional cues to some extent.

I’m re-watching right now, I just finished episode 7 and I have yet to see any signs of him being abusive towards the others, and not Klaus specifically? The choking scene was vile and physically violent but I don’t think it’s abusive because it was a one time thing and abuse is a cycle. Luther isn’t particularly awful to Klaus, he is just dismissive? The only person he ever is really verbally mean to is Diego when they get into fights and Diego is just as bad if not worse, and also intentionally tries to get an emotional rise out of Luther (which is…. just as awful and cruel?).

But yeah I finished episode 7 and no abuse so far… maybe my dumb ass who was abused for my whole life just doesn’t understand what abuse looks like? Okay that’s kind of a joke but I’m actually being serious, my abuse is pretty similar to Luther’s and my body dysmorphia/eating issues are similar to his too which is a lot of why I resonate with him, so I could be missing signs because I’ve probably acted the same way. So please point out to me where specifically he committed an act of abuse, and not a one time act of violence or simply being dismissive of/not picking up on someone’s emotional needs.

Also I honestly think Luther is just in denial of others’ emotional needs because he is in denial of his own emotional needs. He has been taught to push everything down, including the needs of others, with the only goal being completing the mission, and protecting everyone/leading everyone to safety. Also I mean, he hasn’t been around human beings for 4 years (so of course he struggles to relate to them/communicate healthily), and he was always taught not to engage with his siblings but just to lead them because that was his role.

Also Klaus and Diego (especially Diego) are just as dismissive of Luther’s trauma? And like yeah Luther covers it up but it’s pretty freaking obvious…pointing out how big he is specifically.

Diego literally sees Luther shirtless after the chandelier falls on him, sees how self-conscious he clearly is, and then never asks about it or checks on him (yet continues to joke about it – also Klaus makes fun of his muscles when he first sees him which is just insensitive). And in the first episode the way Klaus jokes around during the family meeting about cucumber sandwiches when Luther is trying to plan a memorial service; it’s obvious that Luther is grieving and paranoid (and also that he has been manipulated enough to love Reginald!!!) and Klaus is just making jokes and not addressing this? And then they both just ignore his obvious paranoia over Reginald’s death and just call him crazy and walk away? And don’t use the “he was high” excuse for Klaus being a prick (just like I can’t use the ‘he was drunk’ excuse for Luther, which I never did once btw, y’all just want more justification 2 hate on him).

Also: Yes, Luther tells Diego to stop talking shit about Reginald at the memorial service but like, from his perspective, that is someone bashing the person he was closest to AT HIS FUNERAL!!! He starts the fight with Diego but only after Diego provoked him, clearly intentionally, and Diego continues to fight him and throws a fucking knife at his arm (but physical violence is only not okay when Luther uses it right?).

Also HUGE THING Y'ALL ARE IGNORING: Klaus finds out Luther had nonconsensual sex while drugged out of his mind and congratulates him………. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh idk about you but I think Klaus has been around the block when it comes to drugs and sex (and consent) and should realize that someone on drugs for the first time losing their virginity is nonconsensual, or even if considered consensual still pretty icky? Like Luther is clearly ashamed and upset and doesn’t want to talk about it and Klaus just laughs abt it. That is so not cool.

And another thing:

Luther is very, very protective of Five which is so so sweet, yet people just completely overlook it because they only want to see the bad things he’s done. When he and Allison run into him in the hallway at the end of Run Boy Run and see him looking distressed Luther asks him in a soft voice, “Are you okay? Can we help?” and reaches out to touch Five’s face. Five grabs his hand to stop him but this was very sweet? Like it’s clear Luther has a soft spot for him because he’s small.

But Diego? After he finds out about Patch he bursts into his apartment and goes to attack Five; Luther has to pick him up to restrain him from beating up their brother who has the body of a 13 year old. All because he blames him for the death of the love of his life (just like Luther is afraid of Vanya after she killed Allison). But in Diego’s case, Patch is already dead; Diego only wants to hurt Five out of vengeance, not because he’s trying to protect Patch. And he doesn’t apologize or anything after????? It’s just never brought up again!

SO IN TERMS OF LUTHER BEING AWFUL TO KLAUS THE WHOLE SEASON: is he? is he really? is he really abusive? and is he really that much worse than his other siblings?

And now I’ll address this nonsense:

“And without implying that Luther locking up Vanya isn’t intentionally cruel or intended to hurt her? He has the ability to think logically, unlike Vanya he isn’t experiencing a literal psychotic break down…. Please, explain this to me logically. Thanks.“

…….sigh.

Luther is absolutely not being intentionally cruel or doing this to “punish” Vanya, he’s doing this because he’s freaking the fuck out and doesn’t have any idea what she might do. Yes it’s a bad idea but we need to keep in mind that he’s not thinking logically, he is emotionally distressed. Yes he could talk to her but Allison had just tried to do that…. and look where the fuck that got her?

Do you seriously believe Luther was mentally stable and thinking logically in this moment? Do you not realize he was literally going through a breakdown and identity crisis of his own?

He just found out maybe two days ago that his entire life was a lie and the person whose approval he sought the most didn’t give a shit about him, found out he was isolated from humanity for no reason (which….. as if being isolated in itself wasn’t traumatic enough), after he was mutilated against his will, and now he has just witnessed the person he loves most almost die and he couldn’t do anything about it. Luther is experiencing a breakdown and I think a big part of it is control: he realizes he’s had no agency his whole life/has never had control, he just lost control/agency over his body on drugs even more and had nonconsensual sex while intoxicated, and then after this he sees Allison dying and he can’t do anything to help her (he can’t even give his blood)!!!! His superstrength and locking up Vanya is the only thing he has control over, he feels it’s all he can do to prevent the apocalypse/protect everyone.

Not only that but the idea of control as contol over powers: Luther has super strength, he has to be super careful and controlled all the time so he doesn’t accidentally hurt the people he loves… the thought of someone’s powers being out of control is probably the scariest thing in the world to him. And yes, he gets in fights with Diego but he doesnt use his full strength (just like Diego doesn’t either) because if they did then they would actually hurt each other, they have a lot of control over their powers. But Diego can control his powers by just… not throwing things and having temper tantrums. Luther doesn’t need to be angry to fuck up with his powers, we see that in the very first episode when he punches the model airplane. Luther can never escape his powers and has to constantly control them, and the idea of uncontrolled powers is his worst fucking nightmare.

So Vanya tells him, “we got in an argument and things got out of control” … like just imagine what must be racing through Luther’s mind when he hears that!

Yes what he does in this scene is awful but you can’t convince me he is doing it with the intention of hurting her. Literally you can see in his eyes as he is choking her how pained he is by this. And he apologizes to her: why would he apologize to her if he was trying to hurt her? And if that was intention… why wouldn’t he just fucking kill her?

I absolutely don’t agree with his decision here but like…. he absolutely is going through a mental breakdown and it doesn’t just stop during The Day that Was/Wasn’t and to act like he is completely stable and in his right mind when he locks Vanya up is just grossly oversimplifying everything!

Y’all demonizes him over this but completely overlook some of the awful things his siblings have done (Diego going to beat up Five because he blames him for Patch’s death, Vanya killing a ton of random people because she was locked up)…. Like yes: Luther is insensitive, dismissive, and cruel in this scene but it is not his intention to be cruel, it’s obviously his intention to control Vanya’s out-of-control powers, protect his siblings (esp. Allison), and prevent her from causing the apocalypse. It is awful and yes it is cruel but to act like he just doesn’t give a shit about Vanya and/or is doing it just to hurt her is just….. so beyond what the show is portraying.

And I get that you guys really despise him for this, and if you’re going to hate him, fine: but you completely overlook the terrible things all the other siblings do throughout the whole series and write Luther off as evil, which is not cool. Seriously, y’all portray Luther as the literal devil just so that your faves seem like infallible angels and your headcanons and fanfictions seem nicer and more simple………. and honestly I just can’t reason with you. I think some people just hate on Luther and love everyone else because his abuse situation is more complex and they’re just… literally too lazy to do the mental math, so they stick with stanning everyone else whose trauma is more obvious? Even though Luther covering up his trauma (literally) and refusing to talk about/deal with it is a huge plot point in the show, y’all perceive this as him just not having any trauma, or just overook how his trauma affects his actions.

This show isn’t supposed to be “everyone in the family are wonderful, perfect victims and deals with their trauma like angels EXCEPT LUTHER HE IS STOOPID AND EVIL AND ALSO HIS TRAUMA ISN’T DEEP ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!”…… and if you think this then I think you need to do some soul searching? Or actually do some research into abuse and learn that it comes in many different forms and has many different effects?

Again: I don’t dislike any of the siblings. I used them as examples but I love Diego, Klaus and Vanya!!! I respect and understand them all and view them all as troubled souls who are trying.

This show is complex and it’s designed to be uncomfy, and if you simply write it off as having clear victims and villains (except Reginald, he a dick) then you are not respecting the writing or giving the show justice.

Gerard Way says he wrote Luther based on his own experience of body dysmorphia, isolation….. the show designers say he has self-harmed before, and Tom Hopper has said Luther has been suicidal in the past…. but you know what, go on portraying his trauma as “having it easy” and using violence/cruelty just for fun, even though the show clearly portrays him as a broken man.

#umbrella academy #luther hargreeves #luther hargreeves defense squad #luther hargreeves protection squad #luther positivity #vanya hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #diego hargreeves

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ptw30 · 6 years

Text

VLD Season 7 Reactions: Part 2

Hi, @dreamworksanimation and @voltron! Hope you had a great holiday weekend. I received more asks since the last time I sent you a post. Please give these a read, as these are the reviews sent to me from the fandom. Best - ptw30

Anonymous said: Voltron is all build up and no follow up. They teased us with a very cool premise and then slowly went away from it till they finally went to "nope don't remember didn't happen". And the EPs even seem proud of that. I wonder if they ever watched the show :(

The EPs lack the ability to bring a resolution or closure. We never find out Haggar’s motivation or reasoning about Operation Kuron. We never find out who the “other one” was in the pilot. We never find out Shiro’s bayard form. Lance’s insecurities are never resolved. We never find out the limitations of Allura’s powers - she can transfer souls but can’t find the Black Lion galaxies away? There’s just so much left out of the story.

Anonymous said: Sometimes I think about all of voltron’s loose threads and how this next season is the last and am then transported back to my high school days of putting off projects until the last second, throwing something together, aiming for at least a passing grade.

The EPs failed a long time ago, if that’s the case. When they decided to kill off one of the main characters without allowing the team to grieve, forced the most popular paladin off the team, demoted the leader of the team to a soldier, and abandoned its own lore, including breaking the strongest paladin-lion bond without any explanation - they failed to give the viewers any satisfying conclusion to this story. No matter what the next 13 episodes include, it won’t make up for the middle 39 episodes that literally brought tragedy after tragedy, especially to the team’s only LGBTQ+, multiple-minority character.

@sweet-rabbit said: You know, if the EPs wanted us to not like, nay, LOVE AND ADORE Shiro as much as we do, it was probably a huge misstep on their or whoever's part that they hired a man who voiced a freakin' DISNEY RENAISSANCE CHARACTER to voice Shiro. The blasted fools, the lot of them!

Josh Keaton is a consummate professional, and no doubt, Andrea Romano nailed it when working with him and the team. If there is one thing that is absolutely, without a doubt, above reproach with this show - it’s the voice acting. It is outstanding.

@safeautistickeith said: Damsel Shiro aaaaalways felt Suspect ™ for me. Like. Keith can say, ”we saved each other” (whoever wrote that bless them) But, lbr Shiro’s sidelining was a slowburn that started from his damsel-dom. S1: S and K each got a Big Save. K saved S when he came back to Earth. S saved K when K went after Zarkon (Shiro voice: I’ve got you, buddy) S2: K saved S in Across the Universe. S saved K in Marmora. Equals? Yes. Truly. Then s3 comes along and it’s not longer this beautiful, mutual thing, but Shiro becomes a Damsel in Distress. Which Yikes ™ Asian man demoted to damsel? Unfortunate implications. He’s arc has been about leading up until then? Unfortunate implications. He’s a gay male( the reveal planned in s2??) un for tu nate implications. There’s a line between, ”you can be masc and also need help” and just making him a damsel. Big Yikes.

Voltron originally broke tropes, which was awesome. Allura wasn’t a princess locked away in a castle-ship but a knock-out, drag-out warrior who wasn’t afraid to get into the fray. Shiro, the strong-willed leader, wasn’t afraid to accept help. Keith, the loner, felt perhaps the most for his team. “Loverboy” Lance was actually the heart of the team, rather than a female character playing that part. Hunk, too, was strong but scared, and Pidge was not the stereotypical girl figure.

In Season 3, the story began to fall into the traps of the tropes it had broken, and it’s been a demoralizing and disappointing journey ever since.

@melissa18999 said:The lack of characters being challenged emotionally is why everything after season 2 bothers me. Kuron’s arc didn’t test the characters on an emotional level given how after the arc is over everyone just moves on. It’s there only to write actual shiro out of the show for a bit rather than seriously affect the cast. Same thing with Keith’s [crap] and every other character. Nothing tests them emotionally. (Maybe Allura with Lotor)

VLD misses a lot of emotional beats. One of the biggest failures was not showing when the team learned about Keith’s Galran heritage. Then we never see the emotional fallout with the clone, other than the team referring to him as “evil.” The clone fought alongside with the team, perhaps longer than Shiro, and the team never mourned him. Sendak and Shiro’s fight? Shiro never says a word, and then Keith kills Sendak, taking away Shiro’s right to fight back against his one-time captors.

Lotor had Pidge’s dad and didn’t even try to make her a traitor to Team Voltron? Narti could control minds and not one of the paladins was ever brainwashed by her? Haggar did it to a clone, not even Shiro.

Even Allura and Lotor’s relationship - Allura’s anger was the stereotypical “woman scorned.”

So much potential, and it’s just wasted.

Anonymous said: An ask or two doesn't have enough room to describe how much Shiro means to me, how much strength I draw from him, how many dark places he's helped me out of. But s6's treatment of kuron/shiro left me in tears and nearly dissociating for hours, and it's the only season I haven't rewatched. And here's the kicker: Everything I've read about s7 has made the thought of watching it feel identical to an urge to self harm. I want the EPs to think about that. I want them to think hard about people like me, because I doubt I'm the only one who's been affected like this. And I want them to really, really consider if this is the story they wanted to tell. If this is the effect they wanted their story to have.

Shiro is important to many people in terms of representation, and I’ve read many posts about people who identify with him. I’m glad he’s had an impact upon your life, and I hope you can still take comfort in the earlier seasons. Please take care.

Anonymous said: I think I'd be okay with the "Shiro had a degenerative disease" if that was it alone. Like, it's a really good explanation of why everyone so readily accepted the pilot error thing despite Shiro being an absolute legend of a pilot. But it was tied together with his gay reveal and then the story he was shoved into and... I cannot like it, or accept it.

Shiro was revealed to be LGBTQ+, have a degenerative disease, and lose his place in Voltron - all in one season. The juxtaposition of the reveals is reprehensible, and it sends a horrible message to people who have mental and physical struggles, are LGBTQ+, and minorities.

Anonymous said: So, here's why the "it's a show abt war so you have to suffer watching, bc there's only tragedy" excuse is weak: It’s a show about space robots, a space robot called voltron. It's not a show about drama, about people dying and it never was. It was supposed to be a show about teamwork (supposed bc that premise has left the building a long time ago) with war comes death? Yes, absolutely, but its not an excuse to kill all of the lgbt characters

That’s the issue - it’s not an excuse to kill all the LGBTQ+ characters. A show about war that has death and handles appropriately is one thing. Mourning the clone, mourning Shiro, mourning Narti - all those things should have happened, and they didn’t. (These characters were also all with physical and mental disabilities, DreamWorks.)

Showing children closure, helping them to understand death - is a good lesson to learn. But excluding Shiro from his only family, killing his one-time SO in a “fringe” move, and then killing the other LGBTQ+ couple in the show - not to mention killing Shiro four times - that’s a message DreamWorks should not be sending children.

Anonymous said: The one thing I wanted from Voltron Season 7: Shiro getting to reunite with the team, and work with them again as a part of the team - also, the one thing the Voltron EPs refuse to allow.

Not to be technical - but that’s actually two things. Shiro did reunite with the team, but unfortunately, he wasn’t a part of the team. In fact, he was excluded to the point of no longer even being called a paladin, according to “The Journey Within,” and I agree. I wanted that in Season 7 as well.

Anonymous said: I'm still lowkey [mad] that Sincline, made of the same material as Voltron, was not sentient, but the MFE fighters and Atlas, which are reverse-engineered galtean tech and run off... idk what they run off, magic low-charge batteries maybe... are implied sentient.

I’m not sure, but I can say - I am sad that didn’t pan out, either. I wanted to see what Lotor and his generals could do in Sincline. I’m sad that Atlas, clearly built for Allura, didn’t talk to Allura first. Instead, she will always be Blue’s second choice, Lance Red’s second choice, and Keith left to Black because Shiro...didn’t not to fly Black anymore? I’m not quite sure why. The story never tells us.

Rounding back - Sincline had so much more potential than was realized.

Anonymous said: In not committing to a specific black paladin, or even a specific direction and endgame, the story failed to stay together. It fell apart in the same manner a soft cheese does when pressed to a fine-hole cheese grater.

There are a lot of things that failed to keep the story together. The first and foremost was - you need to keep the team together, or at the very least, not lose two of your main characters in one 26-episode batch, one character for 24 episodes, another for 12.

Anonymous said: If the EP's have treated Shiro as an equal instead of a 'problem' they had to put up with, would VLD have not have gone downhill? It does feel like their dislike for one character and their stubbornness to stick to their original plan is what dragged the show down. It really does feel like what happened behind the scenes has become a cautionary tale on what you shouldn't do when writing a story and its characters.

I can’t say for sure, but what I can say is - the moment the EPs saw Shiro not as a character but as a plot device, is the moment the story began to unravel.

cc: @netflix

#voltron #voltron critical #shiro #vld season 7 #dreamworks #anon #answered #melissa18999 #sweet-rabbit #safeautistickeith:

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gayneral · 5 years

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All those flowers, my dude

First of all thank you for asking, this will be longAlso as this took me almsot two weeks already I took the liberty of leaving some queastions out so I wouldn’t take even longerSince this was answered over a longer time span some questions that are aimed at certain days may be slightly outdated (ed what are u wearing today and such)

Alisons: Sexuality?I’m gay my dudes

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?He/Him, male

Amaryllis: Birthday?My Birthday is in June

Anemone: Favorite flower?This is gonna sound lame as fuck but I rly like roses, red ones in particular

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?I can’t choose but here are some favorites:

Peaky Blinders, I’ve watched this one so often,,, Cillian Murphy was what got me into it and I stayed for beautiful scenes and atmosphere and the gang drama

Gotham, Let’s be honest, the best thing abt dc are their villains (also suuuuper into Robin Lord Taylor as Oswald)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine and The Office, i like these because they are easy, nice and satisfy my need to have something running in the background while I’m at home. (Also insanely sweet in the case of BB9)

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?One I still remember strongly is from two boys kissing “you should all live to meet your future selves”

Also many of the poems by keaton st james deeply resonate with me so check those out (most are religious-ish just in case that’s a no no for you)

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?I gotta be boring and say water

I like hot chocolate and a special kind of peach tea and some soda I drank in brazil but water,, yeah I drink that most,, love hydration

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?Nope

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?I am, right now, at this very moment

Baneberries: Favorite song?I can’t give you an all time favorite so here’s a random favorite I currently like listening to: Sedated by Hozier

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.My family is not very big and actually hasn’t been a family for a very long time. Namely it’s my dad, my sister, my grandparents, my dads wife, her son, our dog and I. I have never experienced family in my youth so sometimes when I’m with them it’s all very odd. And sometimes it’s stressful. But it’s the first time I actually miss family when I’m alone at home, far away. I speak about my father and my grandparents further below but my sister is very sweet and I’m pretty protective of her, she and I get along a lot better now than before which is a common trait as ull see later.

We often take care of things, and are probably the most planning of the family. My dad’s wife is very good to talk to, having a very different perspective from my own and will always offer up advice. Her son is currently in pirperty and more interested in playing fortnite than anything which makes for some explosiveness at home. Our dog is cute and perfect that’s it.

Begonia: Favorite color?I like blue tones, but a dark, rusy kind of red is cool too

Bellflower: Favorite animal?Dogs Dogs Dogs. By far my favorite animal, they fill my heart with joy. Next up, Giraffes, funny big boys

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?Morning I think, I definitely work best early.

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?I actually never really had a dream job as a child. Not that I remember at least.

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?While I generally ain’t a big fan, like I’m someone very based on conversations so obviously that’s hard w kids. I am growing more to them. I’m far from wanting one but I think children are special in their.. Like innocence. They are beyond all the bitterness and hatred that we adults have. If only parents would be better lmao

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?I’m afraid of many things. Change for example. And failure. I think that might be because being perfect was important when I grew up and whatever I did it was never enough to my mother especially. Perhaps that has become so deep rooted that I tell myself I can not fail, which makes me very nervous and makes me worry too much.

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.I spend lots of time on building sites and in hardware stores because my grandparents have houses and my parents often would work there too.

Buttercup: Relationship Status?Single

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?God I don’t know, I think it’s probably when I’m with someone I care about and it’s easy and light and fun and I feel comfortable and they tell me that they like being around me, or that I made them happy with something.

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?Nope,wanted to have some but money and shit

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings? I have my ears pierced, but it’s the earlobes so the most basic thing

California Poppy: Height? I insist on 1,70 at least, I will not accept being under that.

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?In a way, yeah

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?My new boots, black pants, winter coat, black jacket, a blue button up and a lord of the rings shirt underneath. Obviously underwear

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?When I was a child for sure

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?A person from school, who’s also in fashion design, but a few years above me that I got to know bc of cosplay.

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?My Ex

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?God idk, I like oldish looking ones, elegant ‘n stuff

Columbine: Are you tired?Nah, actually not rn

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?Sam visiting me in March

Coneflower: Dream job?I’m not sure, definitely something w sewing but idk if I wanna go theater or my own things

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?Introvert

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?Yeh

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?Very very far

I’d say I’m pretty damn loyal and also give myself up easily even without noticing. If someone has my love and my loyalty they have my everything basically. Would I commit a terrible crime? I don’t know. Would I be real mean to someone or punch them? Yeah, if it’s reasonable w the situation I would (would it be affective? Not sure)

Give myself up? If we’re thinking real dramatic..maybe yeah

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?Gemini

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?Funny or stupid things? MaybeOtherwise honourable stuff, i don’t think so, i don’t view my actions like that.

I mean I survived, that’s pretty cool

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?Above mentioned survival. Which includes making it out of my mother and her boyfriends abusive grip and household. Moving away. Being true to myself. Dragging myself out of the hole I had fallen in for a while. Getting close w my dad and family. Believing more in myself and stopping things that are not good for me. Getting an apprenticeship that I like. Moving forward in life

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?If it’d be my dad I’d sit down with him and ask him why exactly. I have had a relationship before in which I did not see how badly I was treated/ that I basically searched someone like my mother. So I’d listen, perhaps to prevent from making the same mistake again. If it turns out it’s nothing reasonable I think I’d tell him that I will pursue the relationship anyway and ask him to respect that and be as nice as possible to my partner.

If it’d be my mother.. No surprise she doesn’t even like me and honestly I wouldn’t give a shit.

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?Did I say it? Not sure but written it in a letter, it was Sam

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?If my grades speak for themselves it’d be my apprenticeship, or like idk working hard about something I enjoy. I take this very seriously and give it everything I can. I’ve been told I’m good at talking, not sure if that’s true

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?I’m envious. It’s not that far that I am not happy for people, I think i generally have it under control but sometimes it gets the best of me and fills my stomach with nasty emotions.

Also saying stop. I do a lot for people, and I’ve been prone to letting people use and step on me for too long xnot standing up for myself

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?The past month was actually absolutely terrible so not much to find here.Uhm..the bad thing that happened got our family closerI spend Christmas and new years w my familyI got amazing gifts and letters from my friends

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?Stressful. I worked on my semester project and I feel like hardly anything worked

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?I’m moving towards a happy place. But I’m definitely doing a lot better already

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?Finish my apprenticeship, surgery, be able to make my own money so I don’t have to rely on my dad so much (he does enough for me already) and so I can get more distance between my mother and I

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?In no particular order

1. Dogs, god whenever I see a dog I’m happy because they are so cute and loyal,,,,,,,

2. probably everyone and their dog says this but my friends, honestly, I don’t know where I’d be without them. They helped me through terrible times in my life, are a constant source of love and joy to me.

3. my family. Since I didn’t have that for a long time I cherish it even more now that I do. It’s amazing to have a family that supports you behind you. I’m super grateful for everything they’ve done for me

4. the possibility to do the apprenticeship that I want to. it’s not always easy,,,I lack the money lmao but I’m so grateful that I can do this, because it makes me feel like I’m actually worth something in the working,adult world. I’m good at this

5. music. I listen to it so often, I can’t imagine not having music

6. sunshine, there’s something wonderful about going outside and feeling the warmth of the sun on your face, when it’s spring and winter has just gone by and you just have to smile because everything is bright and you’re surrounded by light

7. myself. Listen I dislike myself as much as the next guy but I’m working on appreciating myself and I am insanely proud of myself for coming as far as I have come. I don’t let myself feel it very often but having myself, it’s a good thing. I know my younger self would be very happy knowing that I did all those things for us.

8. something that makes me happy is creating, might it be art, or sewing or writing, anything really. It’s a pain in the ass and frustrating at times but I love looking at something knowing I did this, finishing it. And then looking back at it later and seeing how far I’ve come again

9. playing video games. It’s just fun to lose yourself in a story sometimes.

10. Christmas Markets. I don’t like Christmas itself. But I love the Markets, it’s the atmosphere of it. The food smells amazing and there are all those lights and there are kids with actual shining eyes because they see Christmas so magical and they are in awe by all the lights and honestly I feel the same awe sometimes when I’m on those Markets

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed? Hardly anything lmao. Listening to music. Distracting myself with either talking to someone or playing/watching something. Tho that often makes me feel guilty on the long run. What helps if stress is overwhelming me is writing down what it is that is stressing, like making a list and trying to untangle the mess, looking at what I have to do one by one

Hellebore: How do you show affection?Since I’m A big fan of honesty I usually just say it. I like to tell people when I get some emotion. Like just telling them that I appreciate them. I think it’s nice to just be told that sometimes. Besides that I do things, like I’ll send anon messages or offer help just assisting somehow. Like not always outright having them know it’s me,like affection from afar. And well I’m helpful when I care abt someone especially, like “I can do this for you”

And being super openIt’s not alway clever as experience has shown but to me offering up things about myself means trust means affection in a way. Like giving a part of myself to someone. lmao

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?Making it to this point, I wasn’t in a very good state just a bit ago. But with the help of my friends and family I made it out of it. I have an apprenticeship I enjoy, I have my own flat, I have something to stand up for again. I can appreciate myself some more. I was able to see toxic relationships i was in and get away from them and not let myself be guilted but seeing them for what they are and acknowledging that while I am not a saint it doesn’t mean that I have to accept any treatment. I stood up to my mother, even if just a bit that was a huge step for me.

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?I barely had any of it recently so I can very much put what I want to do. Which would be drawing. I haven’t done that properly in so long and I miss it. Like both sketching stuff on paper but mostly full pictures, sketching, lining and colouring somethin. Having a full art piece at the end. Also Play Games. And talk to my friends. Haven’t had a nice hour long convo with Nina or Charlotte or Sam in ages and I hate that.

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?That’d be Charlotte and Nina

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?I would hide away in my room and imagine. Invent stories, characters, anything to distract me from how unhappy I was. I would act them out in my head when I laid in bed so I could sleep.

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?I did not treat someone that I care about very well a few years ago, I didn’t give them the honesty they deserve. I was an asshole. Even if we spoke about it, I still feel very bad about it.

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?Indulging. When I have things to do but take a break I always feel super guilty for not doing anything.

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?It seems it comes from the Roman name Julianus, and was the name of a pangan Roman Emperor as well as a name of saints. Sometimes meaning youthful which fits because I look like a baby

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.I grew up in a big city in Germany. Very busy City with high buildings and no time. I lived in a flat when I was very young, a room with big windows where I’d sit and look out ot. Then we moved into the house my dad still lives in. Where houses were built in rows and more people knew each other, I’d walk home and pretend to not see them as to not have to speak to them.

Then I moved in a beautiful flat in a more busy part of the city, with a bookstore in the same building and a supermarket right down the street. My hometown is best described in the colour grey. I dont think it very pretty if I’m honest.Still its full of memories and not half as bad

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?Talking about the one in the house. Light peach coloured walls. Small but with big windows to look out of. An old wooden bed in front of one Window, and even older Closet next to the door, already so old that it had been ancient when my dad had been young. A desk in one corner at the other side of the room, above it shelves filled with books, little trinkets on the windowsills. Cabinets filled with paper full of secrets. Posters on the Walls and a round mirror that I hated looking into when I was young.

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years? God no. I have repressed most of my younger years. My teenage years were filled with confusion and self doubt. I was a mess, I hated myself, not knowing who I was. And then knowing but being shamed for it, hiding away and keeping my head low to survive. Pushing myself to the limits and clinging to the thought that I could escape at age 18

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.My Mother and I are not on good terms. I’ve spend countless of years desperately attempting to please her, hoping for love or anything close to it. I was constantly let down by her. My mother is someone that I fear I’ll never understand, adapting to the men that she is with. Claiming to have reached compassion and selflessness while being the opposite. Acts childish and has never accepted or supported me. Now attempts to lure in my sister whom I fear for as she’s always wanted my mother to love her. I have estranged from her very much and currently I am happy seeing her as less as possible.

Onions: Tell about your dad. I remember my father as a very autocratic person in my youth. He’d always work and would only be home to cast judgement. We did not get along well, and my mother, like grima wormtongue, had influenced me further into seeing him as a terrible person. Now I see him very differently. In fact I am similar to my father. Hard working, well spoken and crafty. We share a similar humor and I am very thankful for his support over the last year. To me my father is a very good example of how sometimes people can actually change, sometimes second chances will not disappoint you. My father cares very much about our family and I am happy to have gotten close to him again.

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.I won’t lose many words about my mother’s parents as there isn’t much to say about them.My mothers father was always sick, more often because he believed he was. The years before he died it had only gotten worse. My Grandmother was never really happy in that relationship, something I believe she handed down to my mother.

My fathers parentsWell, when I was young it was difficult, they aren’t exactly children people, despite trying. I especially had my difficulties with my grandmother, who was work above everything and wanted everything to be perfect.I remember her always fixing my clothing. Countless of instances of her and my dad arguing.

When I got older we had barely any contract until I had my coming out to my dad, who told my grandparents. Much to my surprise and I still respect that so much, they were immediately supportive and accepting, perhaps even more than anyone else from my family.

In the last year we grew closer. They helped me with my flat and would come over to set up a few things. I took them to a restaurant that my grandfather would always talk about whenever we talked, happily.

My grandmother and I had phone calls at least once a week, she was also the most interested in my apprenticeship, always curious, sending me old magazines and ideas she had. As well as button ups and shirts she had bought for me or old ones from my grandfather.She offered me support when we talked, told me they’d do anything they could

When my sister and I were getting clothing for my grandpa, as he was saying with us, I found a book on my grandmother’s bedside table.It was an educational oneIn it was also an article she had cut out of a newspaper, the title saying how the support of the family is the most important thing to lgbt children.

I miss my grandmother

Peony: What was your first job?I worked a summer at my mothers workplace. Cleaning watches and watch straps, replacing small things on the straps

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?We met 2014 on a cosplay convention in the city I grew up in. We met on the first day of that, where we all hung out in a group and then he and Charlotte spend the next day w us as well.

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?I bottle it up, focus on something that keeps me busy. Sometimes other people’s pain or doing things for them. Distraction from thoughts really. I’m best when I’m busy

Pink: Where is home?If you’d asked me a couple of months ago my answer would’ve been easy and quick. But now phew, I mean I call my place home as in “I’m going home” and I call my dads place home as in “I was home over the holidays”

But I’m not sure, not really

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?I could go endlessly both about important historical events and tragedies as well as personal mishaps and bad choices. But eventually I actually think this is too big of a question to answer like this. I’m generally better in speech than word when it comes to things like that

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.Steady. As in a job that I like, that provides me with enough money to survive well. Not to worry about everything. Having Dogs, as that I something I always wanted. Living somewhere in the city (always dreamed of a Fachwerk House but yeah…), with the possibility to visit my friends that I am in good contact in. Living with love and happiness. With a connection to my family still as good as now. Perhaps with someone,,,

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?I love the sound of paper, like books, pages turning, things like that. Also soft rain

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?I’m a Class A represser. So it’d probably be many things centered abt my mother.

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want? I want my semester presentation to go well tomorrow. That’s all I care abt rn

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things? It used to be harder in the past but I’ve gotten slightly better at it. I’m still struggling with feeling but it’s a work in progress.

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?My Friends and Family, cheesy I know but over the last year I’ve become more set in that. Once more I noticed how much strength those can give you. And also noticed how important they are to me by the way things that happen hurt me

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?7 hours, couldn’t fall asleep at first but that’s usually my minimum of sleep

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?School. I have a timed, strict schedule thanks to that and it forces me to get up until a certain time in the morning. That helps a lot actually

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?I’m still in an apprenticeship but I enjoy it a lot

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?I have a new pair of shoes that are so beautiful I wish I had the look and body and style to wear them day to day. Also got some cool button ups

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.Look at this and you’ll see first hand https://www.pinterest.de/Gayneral/

I’m sorry I’m bad at desctibing my aesthetic. It’s like, historical stuff, museums, snowey Fachwerk, religious themed things, bee themed things, watches…

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?My semester project is due to two and a half weeks and I’m super nervous about finishing it like boooooy

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?Sadly I’ve been super busy recently so I’ve only been able to read a tiny bit in my holidays, Acht Nacht by Sebastian Fitzek

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?Still in school, doing good, and enjoying it

Still having a good relationship w my father, my sister and that whole family

Still good with my friends, hopefully seeing them more often

(maybe in a relationship pls don’t @ me)

Generally happy, not having to worry too much

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?Thanks to tumblr I do, and I hate it

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.I take my school very seriously. And I have zero tolerance for those in our school that don’t.

#you wanted to know #ninjago #answered ask #ask game #ask meme #pers: negative #redbluemaiden #long post

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ayusaurus · 6 years

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A somewhat depressive vent, feel free to keep scrolling. I’m on mobile and can’t put it under a read more, but I need to vent about it rn because a lot of this is really eating me up inside at the moment and I’m afraid of keeping it in more

I am... admittedly, feeling a lot more lonely than I ever have in my life

And it really sucks because the one person I am really close with lives literally on the other side of the world and al my other friends live in different parts of the country. I feel bad because I know he’s out there living his best life and I am so happy for that, but gosh rn esp I am afraid of being forgotten about or our connection just decreasing, and i feel so shitty even thinking it, but I do feel envious of the chances he’s had to get out there and meet people and talk with them and hang out. I do feel comforted by the fact that he does wish I could be there and stuff and I really am happy that he’s able to make friends. I’m just afraid of my own loneliness getting in the way of our friendship and feeling resentful about my loneliness that it transfers into our friendship as anger and stuff. I don’t want that because he is really someone I appreciate and don’t ever want to lose from my life for something as shitty as my depression getting in the way of that and affecting my behaviors. Cause I still wanna be supportive of him doing that and I really am happy for him and respect him as a person

I don’t even remotely know how to open up to people anymore and my heart just aches. It’s like I have troubles letting my guard down. I’d like to try to become close to people who I used to be close to, but it just feels like a really hard feat atm. I guess I’m also scared because there’s been so much that’s happened and I know the boundaries and the connection of those friendships just won’t ever feel the same. Which is a good thing because there were some not so good parts that I don’t want to repeat, but also awkward because I just don’t know how to talk with them anymore.

I’m trying my best to make new friends irl, but it’s been really difficult. My college is a community college and there’s like really no chance to talk with any of my classmates or do any kind of student bonding activities, and when I try to start up conversation, idk if I just can’t relate to them or if my trying to be friendly is rubbing off as being ‘desperate’ or what, but it just feels like it did when I was in high school and just... couldn’t really make friends again. I was hoping college would be the break I needed to try and make new friends, but that hasn’t been the case.

My ex and I are, I guess what you could call friends rn, but we are trying to limit how much we talk because of the fact that we live together and are trying to also heal from the breakup. But admittedly he’s probably gotten over it faster than I have because of how our relationship had really only been one in title for the last couple of years... I just feel like I fucked up a lot of that too, let alone some previous friendships.

I signed up for a service called cuddlecomfort due to how touch starved I’ve been and had the chance to go cuddle someone tonight but I decided against it. One because of my Demi-sexuality, and two because the thought of just someone cuddling me when I don’t even know them, made me feel nervous and weird and just scared beyond belief. In some ways I just also feel more frustrated abt myself because it highlights so much that’s going on in my life rn to make me feel more alone and it really hurts.

To be honest I think internally I’ve felt lonely for a long time but I’ve just always been able to find things to fill the void enough that it hasn’t bothered me. I used to RP a lot, used to have a good group of ppl to chat with, used to have a decent relationship with my ex, used to have a whole lot and now, I just don’t feel like I have very much at all. I just feel so inexplicably broken as a person and individual that I just... I just don’t even know how to be a person anymore. Art hasn’t brought me any joy, writing hasn’t, gaming hasn’t, everything that normally does, doesn’t. I’ve pushed away friends and help enough to the point that I don’t think they want to try to reach out. And I don’t blame them for that because I know if I were in that position, it’d be frustrating to try and help someone who’s doesn’t seem receptive to the help. I also can’t really afford therapy atm either so that’s not an option right now.

I just kind of feel like a small child just tucked away in a very dark corner right now and if I’m being honest with myself, it’s getting a lot harder to care about my own life. And I absolutely hate admitting that or even saying it because it means I’m relapsing back into depression. It means I’m relapsing back to that. Right now, if I’m being honest, there are very, very few things that are keeping me holding on to pushing forward. And that scares me to know that because I haven’t felt in the pit of a depressive episode since about the end of 2016/beginning of 2017. I think the difference is, that then, I had reasons to fight for keeping on. Right now, not as much, sadly. I want to be able to say I’m strong enough on my own, but I am not. But I also don’t know how to let others in either... I think I’m just really scared of being hurt again when I’ve been hurting for a longer time than I’ve been willing to admit. I’m also feeling angry at myself because I wORKED SO FUCKING HARD LAST YEAR TO GET PAST ALL OF THIS IN THE THERAPY I WAS ABLE TO GET BUT IVE JUST REGRESSED BACK A LOT AND IM JUST... I am just... idk...

#depression #negative #i al sorry i cant pht this under a read more right now #i am hoping today gets better #please let it get better #its obky 11:08 am #i just dont want to feel this negativity anymore #i dont want to feel resentful for people being happy and all of that #i am scared im gonna ruin friendships again #im scared im gonna ruin things again #im hnestly really just scared and alone #vent

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jaeminlore · 7 years

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werewolf!sicheng

here we go w the next monster in the monct house

the way sicheng appeared is a bit of a sad tail tale tbh

so as a werewolf, sicheng was a part of a pack deep in the woods behind monct’s house

he didn’t even know it was there tbh

in case this isn’t obvious,,, sicheng is the runt of his pack

and he basically gets picked on all the time especially by the alfa and the beta of the pack

like they make everything extra hard on him and basically scold him when he can’t do the impossible

and one day sicheng has just had enough like he’s terrified that his own pack members are going to go too far with their punishments and actually kill him

he used to be afraid of running away bc he knew that he would be officially classified as a rogue and his scent wouldn’t belong to any pack

he’d be on his own,,,, and treading back into any kind of pack territory would be an immediate death sentence

and he’s scared and alone,, but he knows this is what he has to do

a pack is supposed to be a family,,, and sicheng only feels like a prisoner

so one night he darts off

he’s the quickest werewolf in his pack, so this works in his favor

OH wait let’s describe the wv: werewolf visuals for a moment shall we

okay you know during johnny’s communication center when winwin looks super duper soft and his hair is that pretty shade of copper brown i know y'all sleep on his visuals but you have to remember look

bc when sicheng transforms into his wolf version, his fur is that same soft copper and his eyes are still big and curious to the world

and he’s limber, both as a wolf and as a human

but he isn’t the slyest,,,, and within ten minutes of running he can already hear his alfa howling from the pack headquarters

it’s threatening and scary and maybe ten minutes is a good head start in human speed but as a werewolf sicheng is doomed if he doesn’t find a hiding place quick

he darts to the left until he sees a light,,,,,, which he realizes is a human house

and…….. tbh………. he’s never seen a human before like he’s heard a bunch of legends about how they’re scary creatures who poke monsters w pitchforks and light werewolf homes on fire

so he’s highkey terrified to go anywhere near the house

but he needs to hide, so he squeezes through the doggy door in the back door of the house

and he panics once he’s in the house bc he can sniff humans and he’s terrified of them finding him so he runs up the stairs,,, into the first room he can find,,,, and he crawls under the bed

and he’s just hoping all the werewolves in his pack won’t come into the house,,, but he knows they can smell him,,,,,

so hesitantly he creeps out from under the bed and looks around for any kind of cologne or perfume

his eyes finally catch on an entire perfume shelf lol like whoever owns this room must collect them for the aesthetic or smth

sicheng just thinks he’s lucky

he transforms back into his human form and like grabs the vials,,,,, and just pours them all over his body,,,,,, and then he pours the rest into the carpet, transforms back into his wolf form,,,,, and rolls around in it to mask his natural scent

this is how you find him LOL

you had just gotten back from your classes and you can smell the absolute floral and fruity storm wafting from your room

and you walk in to see a wolf rolling around in spilled perfume

and tbh you’re a bit startled at first, but you’re even more startled when the wolf notices you and retreats to the corner of your room, its tail between its legs

“hey,,, doggo,,,, idk how you got in here but would you like some food? my moms got a whole t-bone steak in the freezer that i kinda don’t want to cook up so,,,, you can have it if you want”

and the wolf kind of cocks his head to the side as if it’s confused,,,,,,, and before your eyes the wolf forms into a boy,,, a rlly cute boy that is

and he pulls his knees up to his chest like “aren’t you going to poke me w a pitchfork for stealing your perfume?”

you kind of shrug like “look my grandma gets me new perfume every year for my birthday and christmas so i’m just glad they’re finally getting some use.”

“oh” and his voice is so soft and low like he geuinely looks scared of you,,,,, he keeps discreetly checking you out through his eyelashes, only to duck down when you make eye contact w him

“why’d you put it all on anyway?”

nd v v quietly and slowly, sicheng explains how he is a werewolf running away from an abusive pack,,,, and he’s afraid of being caught

and youre like dude!! don’t worry abt it let’s get you cleaned up and fed before i call some friends

so while sicheng takes a bath and gets all the dirt, grime, and fragrance off of him,,,, you call up human!doyoung,, who you know from university

“yo don’t you live at that monster house? can you take one more?”

doyoung agrees to set up a sleeping place for yet another monster

so when sicheng comes out of the bath, freshly clothed in an oversized sweater and some sweatpants you found, you grab his hand like “i found you a place to live!”

and he’s lowkey not rlly excited like he’s already met enough new people for one day thank you very much

but you’re persistent that these people will help him a lot more than you ever could

and you lowkey can’t have a boy at your house when your parents come home it just won’t end well

so sicheng agrees and you drop him off at the monct house

and the first to welcome him is zombie!yuta, who smells like a mix of rotting flesh and honey, and witch!mark, who is excited to meet his new roommate

and sicheng is pretty closed off for the first few days like he accepts the food doyoung slides under his door and then he sleeps the rest of the time

now listen,,,,, around the full moon,,,,, werewolves are forced to transform to like their top physical wolf form

and it isn’t like the soft wolves in the forest,,,, it’s like those creepy walking wolf creatures with elongated spines and long nails

and it hurts a lot,,,, but it can also make sicheng rlly horrible for the night like every wolf gets bloodthirsty and violent and just wants to kill

sicheng warns the rest of the boys abt this and they agree to lock him in a spare bedroom for the night

and none of them can sleep during the night bc sicheng is howling and whimpering and he sounds like he’s in so much pain

mark leaves in the middle of the night to his room to “work on something”

and shapeshifter!jaemin,, after nearly biting off his lower lip in worry, finally transforms into a puppy and toddles over to the bedroom to peak under the crack in the door

he barks for a bit,,,,,,, and it’s like the wolf in sicheng felt a bit of comfort

like wolves are pack creatures and can get super lonely, alright,,,, and sicheng’s been lonely his entire life like he’s never ever been comforted by anything or anyone before

and the rest of nct take after jaemin’s lead,,, like forest fairy!jeno does what he can to try and make passion flowers (which have been proven to calm a dog’s seperation anxiety) grow under the door

witch!mark comes out of his bedroom w a few potion vials under his arm and soot in his hair “i made some healing and sleeping potions for as soon as he’s out of there”

and doyoung calls you bc well,,, you knew sicheng first and he feels it’s important you know what’s happening

but when you get there they seem to have it under control

ghost!jaehyun slides through the walls every hour to update everyone on sicheng’s condition,,, and the worn out werewolf has fallen asleep to the sounds of jaemin speaking puppy talk to him and the sweet scent of the calming plants jeno keeps growing out of nervousness

the next day when sicheng comes out everyone is babying him hardcore

like vampire!taeil wraps a wool blanket around his shoulders and imp!chenle and imp!jisung decided to refrain from unscrewing the salt jar, just so sicheng could have a peaceful morning, and witch!mark is shoving potions down sicheng’s throat

even swamp monster!taeyong becomes motherly w his water bottles reminding sicheng to stay hydrated after his long night!!!!

and sicheng just starts crying???

invisible man!ten is like what did we do what did we do taeiL YOU MADE HIM CRY

but sicheng can only shake his head like “i’m not upset,,, i’m happy”

you dump an entire steak meal in front of him like eat this while you talk you need strength

but all of nct are waiting for an explanation

so sicheng just opens up abt his previous pack and how mean they were for no reason,,,, and he lifts his shirt to show everyone all the scars he has from their cruel punishments

and he looks at you, who nods for him to keep talking,,,,,, and sicheng finally looks at the rest of monct like

“you guys have shown me what a true pack is,,,, i’ve never felt this loved and safe,,,, thank you,,,”

and now it’s an entire monster crying fest like you write your number down on a note and leave it for sicheng before getting the heck out of there

bc when taeyong cries it’s like a mini flood and no one wants to be ankle-deep in that swamp water if they can help it

but everyone is so touched they can’t help it???

IT’S A GROUP HUG

and after that sicheng is a lot less quiet around the boys and you

he helps cook and clean and sometimes gets caught chasing his tail when he’s bored

jaemin still transforms into a puppy whenever he wants just so wolf!sicheng has someone to run around with

and sicheng doesn’t call you bc he has no idea how to use a phone

taeil helps him w a lot of stuff like that

yuta tried to teach sicheng how to flirt but that rlly didn’t turn out great

turns out sicheng can’t flirt at all and has no idea how to act on a date like your first date consists of food cooked by taeil and then a nap on the couch

10 outta 10 really you thought it was great

so yeah sicheng is still learning some stuff

but he learns rlly fast and his savagery skills even outdid the dreamies after he practiced a bit

he’s a great edition to the house

except when he transforms into a wolf and sits on the couch,,, he sheds everywhere and doyoung will not hesitate to chase him w a vacuum cleaner

yeah,,, and also,,,, after a few months sicheng stopped being able to smell his old pack,,,, so they must’ve left the woods to find a warmer home for winter

sicheng is so releaved and happy

he finally has a home and friends who love him and a person he highkey already has his heart he just doesn’t quite know what that means yet

so yeah,,, that’s werewolf!sicheng !!

this was fun to write! sorry there wasn’t much sicheng x reader! anyway, part of the collab w @trickortaeil ♥️

#nct scenario #nct scenarios #nct au #nct imagine #nct imagines #monster!au #monster!nct #nct reactions #winwin au #winwin scenarios #winwin imagine #sicheng au #sicheng fluff #sicheng scenarios #winwin fluff #nct fluff #destwrites

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