#i'm starting something. i'm putting together a team (of people that love you you bitch)
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Celebrating you, THE WRITERS!
The TL;DR of this post is this! I'm temporarily transforming my blog into a hub where people can send affections & praise for me to then send out into the world. Think of me as the switchboard of love, baby! Send in pleasant notes tagged with #GRACE and I'll reroute that love, via graphic, love letter, or IC delivery to the target of your affections.
Oh, hey! I didn't see you there, Internet. It's me, Sifr, your friend*. Come in, pour yourself a drink, stay a while and listen.
End of the year, hey? You've been in the battlements for time now and that's a weight you're gonna carry for days. Trust me, I know.
So, rather than let the clock tick over with all that weight left unbalanced, I figured we could take this month (December! The BEST month, objectively) to throw some light around. That's why I'm instituting the inaugural 'End of The Year RPC Bonus Extravaganza!'
"Now, Sifr, you dozy bitch." I can hear you typing on your loud ass mechanical keyboard. "What is an 'End of the Year RPC Bonus Extravaganza', and can't you find a better name for it so it gets a cute acronym?"
...Okay?! Let's call it #Year's End GRACE then. 'Gathering of Roleplayers Actively Celebrating Everyone'. Catchy, easy to parse, moving on to the way it works then.
Over the course of December, maybe even a little into January, I'm gonna be posting compliments, praise, affections and promos that you (my fellow writers) submit to me for the purpose of sharing some joy.
'These can be anonymous submissions, general submissions about an entire fandom, requests where you ask Me to wax about someone you think needs some love & affection. However you can think to send in some weaponized joy to my inbox (with #GRACE somewhere in the message so I know what time it is) I will find a way to get it out in the public and to the people you love!
I'll make a cute graphic for your message if you want, I'll scream loudly in the tags about my own personal thoughts on the person, I'll have a muse of mine 'deliver' the note to another muse in character to bridge the gap between fact & fiction all for you! I want to make this a celebration!
Non-denominational, no agenda, no stress nor pressure, just sending fucking joy across the series of tubes that comprise Irene Adler's internet.
I'll drop this little invitation in the queue multiple times leading up to the new years. My inbox will always be open for this, please DO NOT HESITATE to send in some love & affection for someone!
Feel free to reblog this if you want to spread the word, or try to find a way to participate yourself. You don't have to be 'following me' to participate or send things in. This isn't about me, I'm just the middleman for these affectionate transactions.
There'll be no limit on how many motes of joy you can send. If you have any notes on formatting or design that you want for the messages, the graphics, or the in character delivery, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! They can be included and tended to with ease!
Think of this as a little 'End of Year Bonus'. It has no monetary value. It's made of pixels and questionable grammar. But its a part of your heart, signed, sealed and delivered to someone who might really need something to hold on to.
I think that's pretty neat, actually.
#ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ ᴄᴏsᴛᴜᴍᴇ; ooc.#Year's End GRACE#long post.#i'm starting something. i'm putting together a team (of people that love you you bitch)#We're getting. ACTIVE. THIS. MONTH#!#I'm actually very nervous about this.#I wanna share the light but i know thats always an uphill battle.
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Ok, how about Natalie X reader, the scene where they find the lake, but reader is too self conscious to strip down in front of everyone and go for a swim?
Pretty Girls
Anon this is a lovely request but imma be so Fr I can't remember the exact dialogue so enjoy my bullshit <3
Warnings: insecure reader, mentions of body image issues, no smut but a bit of a heated make out, not proofread and also written on my phone <3
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"I found a lake," Taissa announced as she returned from her hike,"It's about four miles from here. We should hike it."
"We aren't leaving. What if the rescue team comes?" Jackie responded, clearly annoyed.
"I hate to break it to you, but it's been three days. They aren't coming, and we're running out of water. We need to head to the lake." Taissa's voice was firm.
Secretly, you agreed with Tai, but you weren't going to get in the middle of this argument. The last thing you needed was Jackie pissed at you. There was enough division as it was.
"We should put it to a vote," Jackie announced. So much for no more division, "All for staying here, raise your hands."
Three people agreed. Jackie, Lottie, and Laura Lee all raised their hands.
"Okay, all for heading to the lake?" Taissa asked now, and nearly all of the group put up their hands. Even Shauna, which was shocking. Who knew she'd go against Jackie like that.
"Looks like we're heading to the lake. Get your shit." Wit that, everyone began packing up any belongings not already in their suitcases.
About twenty minutes later, you all were ready to start your hike. You fell into step beside Lottie as you walked.
"Hey. I know you didn't want to do this," you said.
"Honestly, I was more worried about Jackie's reaction than actually leaving the plane." Lottie smiled at you. You laughed lightly in response.
The two of you walked in silence for a while, listening to everyone chatter on and on. A few girls had started complaining, and you heard Jackie say something about how Tai must have been wrong about the distance from the crash site.
That's when Van saw the lake.
"Hell yeah bitches!" She exclaimed, jumping up and down. Soon, everyone was racing down to the water, stripping off tee shirts and shorts. You hung back, not entirely wanting everyone to see your bare stomach.
"You don't want to swim?" Natalie spoke softly into your ear. You jumped at the unexpected closeness. The two of you hadn't really had time to spend together since the crash.
Your relationship to Natalie was a complicated one. You had began hanging out with her because Van and Tai had started spending more time with each other, leaving the two of you with each other. You'd had a crush on Natalie for a while, and you enjoyed spending time with her. Recently, though, she'd begun to flirt with you. Nothing major, just jokes about how pretty you were, or messing with your hair, or good-natured teasing about your interests. You weren't entirely clear on where you stood.
"Just not totally sure how I feel about stripping in front of everyone." You laughed as you spoke, as if trying to convince both Natalie and yourself that it really was a joke. Even if you knew it wasn't.
"You afraid they'll stare?" She teased.
"Yeah, actually. Just not for the reason you think." You giggled again, but it was harder to be convincing this time.
"Hey, if you're set on not swimming, that's fine. But no one is going to judge you for the way you look. I think we've moved past that point."
"Yeah, well, the rest of you have been changing in front of each other for ages. This kind of thing is new to me."
"Whatever you say, gorgeous. I'm swimming. You should too. I know I wouldn't judge you." She smirked at you in a way that made heat rise to your cheeks.
"Mm. And you've also never seen me naked, so I don't think you can say that yet."
"Okay, y/n." With that, she walked to the edge of the lake, stripping her shirt and pants as she walked across the pebbles.
You didn't stare. You in fact made a point not to stare. But it seemed that as soon as you looked up at her, she moved her head to catch you looking. She smiled at you, and nodded her head toward the lake.
As you looked back at her, you rolled your eyes and shook your head. There was no way you were getting in that water. The whole team didn't need to see your stomach and stretch marks.
Well... maybe you'd take off your shirt. You had a sports bra on. That was full coverage enough, right? Plus, your jeans had a high waist on them. Not much would be on display.
Cautiously, you peeled off your t-shirt, hoping no one would notice. Or care. As you shook your hair free from the confines of the fabric, you felt eyes on you.
In the middle of the lake, you caught Natalie staring at you this time. When she saw that you caught her, she averted her eyes. But something about her eyes on you made you feel good.
Not good enough to take your pants off, but you'd take what you could get.
You balled up your shirt and put it down on the rocky beach so you'd be able to lie down. If nothing else, you were going to enjoy the sun. Maybe not in the same way as everyone else, but you were going to enjoy it.
You lay in the sun for a bit, letting it warm you and only worrying a little bit about the sun damage that was occurring to you. You survived a damn place crash. Cancer seemed so irrelevant now.
It was nice, you thought, that even after what had happened, you were all able to have fun like this.
"Y/n! Get your ass in here!" Van called.
"No!" You yelled back, laughing.
"Lame ass," she responded.
"That's me." With that, you went back to your sunbathing and daydreaming. The only thing that would make this better would be-
"What the fuck!" You exclaimed, dripping water. Somehow, someone had managed to dump a whole bucket of water on you.
You looked up to see it was Van and Taissa. You'd expected Van, but Tai was a low blow. Although, best friends would do that kind of shit to you.
"Taissa Turner I swear to god. I could kill you right now." Your hair was soaked, your mascara was running, and your pants... well, wet jeans aren't ever the move.
"Now you have to swim," Van said, clearly not sensing your anger.
"No, now I have to fucking change out of one of the few pieces of clothing that's actually clean. Thanks for that."
"Whoa, sorry. We didn't think you'd be upset about it. We just wanted you to have fun." Taissa looked at you apologetically. You found yourself forgiving them almost immediately. They were just trying to get you to have fun. There hadn't been much of that lately.
"Still a little pissed at you. But it's fine. I'll just change." You started getting up to find your suitcase.
"Or... hear us out... you come swim with us. It'll be fun." Van looked at you expectantly, hoping you'd say yes.
Maybe...
No. You couldn't. What if they stared at you. What if Natalie stared at you. What if she saw you in your underwear and decided she was done flirting with you.
"Y/n, come on. We all know each other here. No need to be a prude," Van teased.
"Oh, well in that case." You rolled your eyes.
"You know you want to." Taissa poked your shoulder. And she was right. You did want to swim. You just didn't want to swim in front of everyone.
But it would feel so nice. And you'd be able to wash away some of the dirt and sweat from the last few days. Maybe you'd feel less... disgusting.
"Fine." You began to peel off your wet jeans.
Deep breaths, you thought, as the warm spring air hit your thighs. No one was looking at you. Right? Well, except Taissa and Van. But they'd seen you change before. You surveyed the rest of the team. No one was looking at you. Except-
Natalie.
Goddammit.
She just kept staring as you stripped down to your underwear. Luckily for you, you were wearing something full coverage.
The way she was looking at you was almost hungry, like she was drinking in your entire body. Nothing would take her eyes off you.
This was it. This was when she decided all the flirting was over. She didn't like the way you looked under the sweaters and baggy pants. She-
Was walking towards you. Out of the water. Away from everyone else.
"Tai-" you started, before you realized that she and Van had walked away. Shit. Shit shit shit.
Without thinking, you started walking towards the lake. The sooner you were submerged, the better. And you really didn't want to talk to Natalie when you were this exposed.
As you passed Natalie, you wrapped your hand around her wrist and drug her along with you.
"Come on. We're swimming. You can't get out as soon as I decide to get in." She doesn't resist as you pull her behind you, back into the lake.
"Whatever you say. I'm glad you decided to get in."
"Well, Taissa thought it was a good idea to dump water all over me. I would've had to change in front of everyone anyways. Might as well suck it up and get into the water while I'm at it."
"I told you no one would stare." She smirked and pushed the water toward you, splashing you a bit.
"Mm. Someone was staring," you responded, trying to get her to tell you why she had looked at you the way she did.
"Who?" She asked. You couldn't tell if she really didn't know who you were talking about, or if she was feigning innocence.
"Um. You?" You replied, looking at her with a quizzical look on your face.
"That was because I wanted to see if you were really going to swim. Not to judge you."
"Oh, yeah, sure. Whatever you say."
"Did you want me to be judging you? Because I wouldn't do that. To anyone. But especially you. You're like, really pretty or whatever."
"Really pretty or whatever? Such a romantic, Scatorccio." With as much force as you can, you splash her.
After she recovers from the shock of the water being splashed in her face, she looks at you with a challenge.
"No Nat please I didn't-"
Before you could finish your sentence, finish apologizing, she shoved you under the surface of the lake. You didn't have time to do much, except inhale right before she pushed you down.
When you resurfaced, the first thing you heard was her laughter.
"Wow. That was a bit excessive," you said, once you had caught your breath. She was still giggling.
"Had to retaliate somehow." She shrugged, but she did look slightly apologetic.
"Asshole."
"It's how I show my love."
"Awww, you love me?" You mocked.
"Oh, fuck off."
You just laughed at her.
She was doing it again. Staring at you. Subconsciously, you tried to cover yourself up with your arms. It didn't really have the desired effect.
"You're gorgeous," she said, eyes still on you.
"You don't have to say that." You tried to be nonchalant, but you felt your cheeks heating up.
"I'm not just saying that." She moved closer to you. When she reached you, she gently moved your arms out of the way of your body, leaving you more exposed than you'd like.
She looked at you straight in the eyes. Something about it made your knees weak. There was so much love in her face. She was looking at you like you were the only girl in the world.
"I want to kiss you so bad," she whispered in your ear. You shivered at the closeness.
"Maybe not in front of everyone," you whispered back.
"Embarrassed of me?" She joked.
"No," you laughed, "I just hate PDA"
"I have an idea then." She beckoned for you to follow her out of the lake.
You walked behind her as she led you across the beach. The only person that seemed to notice you was Taissa, and she just smiled as you passed.
Natalie continued to lead you to the edge of the woods, in a place just secluded enough. You could still hear everyone, but they wouldn't be able to see you.
Before you knew it, you were pressed up against a tree, the bark scratching your bare back.
"Can I kiss you?" Natalie asked, brushing your hair out of your eyes.
You nodded, and as soon as she got your consent, her mouth was on yours. Her lips were slightly chapped, and you appreciated the roughness of them. But her movements were soft.
Her hands rested on your hips, and her fingers were cold. Her lips felt too good on yours for you to care. You tangled your fingers into her damp hair, pulling her closer.
She pulled away for a moment to whisper to you.
"Do you believe me about you being gorgeous now?" She asked, looking at you with her pupils blown out and lips puffy from kissing.
You laughed, "I guess."
Seemingly satisfied with your response, she went back to kissing you. But now, she was kissing any inch of skin available to her. Your forehead. Your jawline. Your ear. Your neck. She didn't go any lower than that, which you appreciated. You weren't sure how ready you were for anything more. Especially in the woods.
"Y/n? Natalie?" You heard Tai's voice from a distance. "Lottie saw something. We're going to go see what it is. Come back, please."
With that, Natalie looked at you again, eyes full of hunger and want.
"Do this again later?"
#yellowjackets#yellowjackets showtime#yellowjackets season 1#natalie scatorccio#natalie yellowjackets#natalie scatorccio x reader#natalie scatorccio x curvy! reader#natalie scatorccio x fem reader#natalie scatorccio x you#natalie scatorccio x y/n#natalie scatorccio headcanons#teen natalie scatorccio#teen natalie#natalie Scatorccio x insecure reader
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Please bless us with more lottienat x reader 🥹
Yellowjackets| Being in a relationship with Lottienat|
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I'm so glad you asked cuz I love lottienat
Also I didn't know if this was supposed to be regarding nsfw or not soooo
TW: NSFW themes ahead
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SFW Headcanons:
You and Lottie were in a relationship first. When Lottie signed up for the football team she met Natalie. For a long time she was just staring from afar and through the team they got closer.
Natalie had a crush on Lottie but was heartbroken when she found out Lottie had a girlfriend. It all worked out in the end with you and Lottie making sure Nat knows she's loved.
If you're in the team you bet you'll spend all of your training sessions together. Nat and Lottie would just goof around the entire time so it's up to you to get them serious. If you aren't in the team they'll still try to teach you how to play. Nat would get constantly scolded by Lottie because she laughs when you trip over your feet and mess up a shot.
You and Nat are obsessed with Lottie's hair. Que long as hours of gossiping with you and Nat playing with her hair putting it up in all sorts of styles. Lottie always shows up to school the next day with that hairstyle.
Lottie loves spoiling you both. She's rich af and even if Natalie refuses to accept most of her gifts she keeps giving out things to you. Also Lottie offers up her house for sleepovers. If any of you are having trouble at home it would be a win win situation. You sleep in a safe house and Lottie has company.
Speaking of, you guys are the only people Natalie talked to about her dad and how he passed. Lottie also tells you about the visions and the medication that she has to take.
NSFW Headcanons:
I'd like to think that since Lottie bottoms and Natalie is a top then a switch would be the best for them.
Your favourite position is Lottie sitting on your face as Natalie fucks you with her strap. Lottie wildly bucking her hips atop your face head thrown back and eyes shut as she keeps moaning, high and loud. You're struggling to jeep your own moans at bey in order to keep pleasuring Lottie because you know Natalie will stop if you don't make Lot come.
Speaking of her strap there are days when you and Lottie have to fight for that thing.
Natalie loves degrading you, if it's something you like of course, but Lottie specifically. Lottie and Nat tease eachother in public a lot but behind closed doors Lottie can only whimper and clench her thighs when Natalie calls her a little bitch.
Lottie is a little bitch though, especially when it comes to pleasing you. She's falling down to her knees with her big brown eyes looking at up you. She's begging to get a taste of you.
When you get to top, Nat and you have a field trip. You love tying her to the bed and starting a make out session right in front of her. Just to tease her and hear her breathing get heavier. Looking at her from the corner of your eyes and she's so desperate and wet already.
When you finally get to fucking Lottie the both of you are so full of list that you feast on her like beasts. Lottie has a ton shit of hickeys she can't even hide the next day.
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#wlw#female reader#yellowjackets x reader#yellowjackets imagine#lottie x reader#smut#lottienat#lottie matthews#lottie matthews x reader#natalie scatorccio x reader#lottie x natalie#natalie scatorccio#natalie x reader
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Love isn't something you just learn Commander. Part 2
Pairing: Commander Cody x F!Reader
Words: 14 536 (oopsie)
Warning: Angst, like A LOT OF ANGST, a description of violence, DEATH, a little bit of action, wouldn't call it a smut even. Fluff. Cody being an idiot. ANGST. Bur Fluff as well.
Summary: A lot has happened and Cody realised that maybe things change.
A/N: So it is not editted. I am sorry, maybe I will do it later. I just really wanted to post it :D And I'm not sure I am 100% with the ending. It feels rush. Maybe I will come back one day and re-write. But for now. ENJOY :)
P.S. My Tag List is open to yeah... :D
It was new and scary. The thought itself wasn't really welcoming. You were a stationed medic, not trained to be a field doctor. So when the request came in for you and your team to accompany the Troops on the next mission you weren't sure if that was just some silly mistake.
Of course you were promised to be secured as well as it was possible, but the thought itself wasn't really as welcoming as you'd like it to be. The War was scary and you weren't a soldier. Not one bit, and you never hid that.
"We need some medical support. What we have from the Clones army isn't enough", Obi Wan explained, hoping to find a common ground with you. "We work well with your team. You know Kix and our medic, so both the 212th and 501st would be able to cooperate well with you."
"We're not soldiers, Kenobi" you answered, looking at your closest medics. "Most of my team consists of civilians volunteering to help, with not even any medical background." You stopped and sighed deeply, feeling all the eyes on you. "Are we going to get any basic defense lessons?"
"The first mission starts in three days. We don't have time for that. Most of your people would stay behind as a background help. Only those with more medical experience would be put in front of the battles as a better equipped help." Saying that, his gaze was moved to his soldiers and nodded his head at them, making you frown. "I'm sorry Y/N", your brow raised hearing him say your first name. Manipulative son of a bitch. "I know, you didn't sign up for that, but…"
"I will talk to my people. It is their decision, alright?", he nodded understanding your point. "I will help as much as I can of course. I'm just…" you trailed off, feeling bashful all of a sudden. "I don't want to be a bother if it comes to it."
"You won't be, Doc, trust us." Cody spoke and you turned towards him. It has been almost a month since that fateful talk. You kept your promise to him to be adult about it and to your surprise Cody made sure you felt comfortable around him. What's more, he and you spent more time together than ever. At the beginning he would come for a check up, staying a bit later just to talk. Nothing special, nothing that would make any of you uncomfortable. But with time the two of you noticed that your conversations became more and more fun rather than essential. “We would still prefer to give at least a basic defense training for the medics that would accompany us into an actual field. You included.” You swallowed and nodded. No, you didn’t like that one bit. There was a solid reason why you decided to never become a soldier. You weren’t the physical type of person really. Always keeping your nose in books has made you averse to any physical activities. “Some of my people and a bunch of 501st guys will be happy to teach you guys some basics.” Despite Cody’s soft spoken words you were still not sure about it. But it was War and you promised yourself that you would help the Clones and the Jedi win it in any way possible.
“Let me talk to my team and I will let you know about the final size of the eventual group.” All of them nodded their heads. You could decide for your own, but your people’s lives weren’t yours and they had a right to decide. “I will accompany you, of course, but I will have to leave Garialth here to keep an eye on everything.” Kenobi wasn’t too happy about it, but he understood that someone must stay behind in case and if he was forced to choose, you were still the best possible option. “How much time does my team have to decide?”
“None, really” Rex interjected, sending you one of his apologetic looks. “Even if the smaller medic teams wouldn’t accompany us to the field, we still need to give them a basic military brief. And we leave tomorrow morning so…”
“Give me half an hour?” Rex smiled, thankful for your cooperation. “I need your word, Kenobi, that if any of my men decides to stay here, there will be no consequence.” The Jedi nodded and promised that nothing bad would happen. “And I want to have a way to contact all of the teams that will be made up from my medics.” Another nod and well, you had to give it to Kenobi. After all, he was a negotiator. “Half an hour.”
***
You were proud of your men. There were only a handful of them that didn’t want to join the Troopers. Most of them may have been civilians joining your team, but they have quickly become the true medic team of the War. Even Skywalker and Kenobi were surprised when you gave them the numbers. Yes, you were proud of your men, and even more afraid now. The more joined the field, the bigger probability that more would never come back.
“Come on, Doc.” Cody’s hand on your shoulder shifted your focus onto him. “I’m responsible for your training.”
“Excuse me?” You gaped at him, not believing what you were hearing. “For sure you have some better things to do than that!” He turned and looked at you with a raised brow. He sighed deeply and then you truly looked at him. He was tired, very tired. The rested man that left your hospital bed was long gone and the Cody you knew took his place. The blacks under his eyes were getting bigger, his face despite not showing any emotions gave away more to those that looked closely. You noticed the way he would look for a quiet place more than often, probably due to the headaches that were probably becoming an everyday occurrence in his life now. His sullen cheeks worried you a bit that you have already been taking care of. Whenever he would come to you for a caff or just a talk you always had something to eat. Whether it was something as stupid as a sandwich or even something sweet. But something more than ratio food.
“Keeping you and other medics safe is our priority now.” He smiled softly seeing the way you were looking at him. “Stop analyzing me.”
“I’m not” you pouted and chuckled when he raised his brow at you playfully. You rolled your eyes and sighed. “Fine, maybe I am. But can you blame me? You left my hospital looking shiny, like you came right from Kamino and not even a month later you are once again.. Well you…”
“Me?!” He laughed at that and you cursed the little butterflies in your stomach at that sound. It wasn’t often Cody would truly laugh, but when he did, it was the most beautiful sound and you swore you’d do anything just to hear him again. It was like an addiction, when you had it once, you wanted it always.
“You look tired Cody. I know you’re the Marshall Commander but when was the last time you actually rested? I can’t make you train me when I know you could spend that time resting.” He raised his brow at you and you stood your ground, knowing what he was doing. The bastard knew how imitating he was, but you were a head medic of the Coruscant Hospital. You weren’t one for intimidation. And so you crossed your hands and locked eyes with him, making him smirk.
“You are stubborn, has anyone ever told you that?”
“One or two of your brothers”, you shrugged and he rolled his eyes at that, making you smile.
“How about we go through the strategy for this mission, and while you revise it yourself I would close my eyes for a while?” You narrowed your eyes at him but obliged, happy with a somehow compromise. A simple “close my eyes” wasn’t what you initially was aiming for, but when it comes to Cody, you knew it was more than what you were able to get.
"Just a heads up, I'm a very slow reader!" The man chuckled and you were already forming a plan for him to rest as long as possible. Even if it meant reading the damn strategy briefing more times that it was logically necessary.
***
The sound of your angry groans was the only thing that could have been heard for a while now. No matter what you'd do, the damn thing wouldn't work as well as it did for Cody and the bastard seemed too smug about it.
"You won't become an A-class shooter after just an hour, Doc" the little smirk on his lip would normally bring a soft smile to your lips, but you were tired and annoyed. Nothing seemed to work. No matter how you stood, how high or low your arms were, or what direction your feet were facing, you were unable to shoot the damn target.
"Your breath is too hectic", he started, taking a stand next to you. His blaster at a perfect angle with his arm, the stance was just as he showed you, and his eyes never leaving the target. A perfect soldier shooting a perfect 10. "It's like you hate the solemn thought of holding a blaster." You looked at him and bit your lips nervously. He had a point, the first time he gave you the gun to hold, you could feel your hand shaking. You weren't a trained soldier. You were a medic, a doctor, and holding a gun was the last thing you wanted.
"I'm a medic, a doctor," you started, avoiding his eyes. It felt stupid. Here you were in front of a Marshal Commander, a man you lo… you look up to, looking all so weak and pathetic. "I swore to protect people not kill them." Cody frowned and sighed, ignoring the way you flinched at it a little bit.
He never thought of that. He knew training you wouldn't be easy, after all you weren't a trained soldier, bread for it. But he never truly comprehends that your complete lack of skill with a blaster would have another reason, other than just you being unable to do it. He would never have guessed that someone would just be opposed to even holding it and with an actually good reason.
"A gun isn't just for killing," he started, not sure how to go with it. He wasn't good with talks like that, Rex or even Fives would probably have a better go, but you were here with him and his job was to keep you safe. He wanted to keep you safe. And to do it, he needed you to learn the basics of self defense. "It can save people as well. This is how we do it, why we Clones use it." You raised your brow at him but looked at him giving that benefit of a doubt. "Killing is hard and the last result when it comes to humans. This is why the blaster has two options. To stunt and to kill. We may be machines made to win a war but we do not like killing any more than you or other civilians."
"You're not machines!" He smiled at your interruption. He would never admit, but his heart did skip a bit whenever you showed your protective side towards him and his brothers. He would never admit to it, but he liked the way your eyes shine with anger whenever someone spoke wrongly of Clones, he couldn't help but smile at the way your tone gets more serious and your feet stumble with a bit of anger, almost as if to emphasize your words. It's kind of childish, but he still adores it. He doesn't know when that happened, but whenever you speak and defeat them, his heart does this weird thing he never truly understood and he thinks he never will.
"Is that all you got from my speech?" His question, despite being serious, weighs some kind of cheekiness that only Cody would show. "Think of a gun like one of your scalpels and equipment you use to save our lives." He gave you the weapon back and you looked down at it, weighing it in your hand.
It was so warm. From that short time he held it it already became his. She felt different, like his touch on it took away the scary aspect of it. After all, if Cody could hold it and use it, it can't be that bad. Right ?
"How do you feel with a knife?" The question got you off guard. You raised your brow at him and smiled mischievously.
"I did cut you open nicely", your heart skipped a bit with his laugh and you were never more proud of yourself. Cody had one of the most beautiful laughs. Despite him being a clone, you were sure that you would be able to distinguish him from the others with that laugh alone. It was deep and soft at the same time, with that something in it, something mysterious.
"Maybe the gun isn't really your thing after all."
***
"So no knife either?" You felt like crying. Nothing worked. The knife was even worse than the blaster. With the latter, you were at least able to shoot remotely close to the target, with a knife… well it took Cody one simple move to take it away from you. You felt angry and embarrassed and you don't know when you started to cry. "Hey, Doc, are you alright?" The concern in his voice brought a quiet sob from you, which he didn't miss. His hand on your shoulder would have probably brought you comfort if you weren't so mad at yourself right now. "Did you hurt yourself?"
"I'm angry", you hissed, throwing away the knife and trying to get rid of the angry tears pouring down your cheeks. "I'm so damn furious at myself." He raised his brows and whether he knew or not, his hand tightened on your shoulder. "We're off on the first mission tomorrow and all I did for the past two days was waste your time. I'm so angry because I'm sure you had better things to do than babysit me around and teach me things I'm so terrible at. You tried so hard and here I am…" you looked up in alarm when you heard a chuckle coming from the man. You expect all the different reactions but not this.
"I'm sorry Doc, I really am… it's just" he composed himself and straightened sending you one of his soft smiles. "I thought you hurt yourself or I worked you off too much and here you are… gosh you really are adorable!" The both of you froze at his words.
From the way his eyes searched anything but you, it was obvious he did not plan on saying it. At least not saying it out loud. You looked away and bit your lip nervously. You must have misheard him, it was impossible that the Marshal Commander Cody saw you as adorable. But it was not the time for that. And so you did all you could to master the most neutral face, like you didn't hear it at all.
"You're tensed", he finally continued when he noticed that words he stumbled didn't have any effect on you. He wasn't sure if he was thankful for that or the complete opposite. "It's like you are already preparing yourself for failure." You rolled your eyes, trying to control your breathing once again. "Here." There was a millisecond of uncertainty, but he picked up your knife and walked behind you, handing you the weapon. "Take it and slowly take a deep breath. Try to feel it in your hand, but empty your mind. Do not associate it with anything rather than just a knife. A blade you used hundreds of times in your entire life." His gloved hand was on yours, the second one protectively on your other arm. "You're holding it so hard, I'm afraid you'll break it", you couldn't help but chuckle, despite the uncontrollable feeling in your stomach, when he moved closer and you could feel him almost leaning on you. "Take a deep breath, Doc. Breath with me. Come on", he turned you around and put your hand on his chest. Despite the inner happiness in seeing him in only his blacks, you really wished he had his chest plate now on. You could feel his muscles from the thin fabric and you did your best to focus on what he wanted you to do.
And so you closed your eyes and listened to the controlled beating of his heart. How his chest would move wu\ith such peace that you envied him for it. "Breath with me. In and out and repeat."
He smiled softly, feeling how you started to drum your fingers on his chest, almost looking for a rhythm that would relax you somehow. He would never guess that you were so stressed. He knew that feeling well. Having the lives of others on your back was enough to make your nights sleepless. Also the longer the War was taking, the more tired you would become, the more of his brothers would make your life more and more tiring. He knew and saw numerous times how you cared deeply for him and other Clones and he knew that whenever any of them didn't come back it hurt you more and more. And yet you never let it affect you. You always smiled and supported them. You were always there when he or the others needed you. You would send him to get some sleep, not caring about the oh so growing bags under your own eyes. You were way beyond tired, you were exhausted and yet here you were on a way to a mission you really could have said no to. However, you never even thought for a minute about yourself, your main priority was your man. You didn't think twice before saying yes, but your men’s lives weren’t yours to decide. You were not a soldier and yet you were stronger than anyone Cody knew. And he admired it, he watched you since his hospital visit and he couldn't take his eyes off.
In the beginning he would come and talk to you, because he felt bad for the way he reacted to your feelings. But the more he observed, the more time he spent with you, he learned to realize that he actually enjoyed that time. You were such a fun and interesting person, with a lot to talk about. And what he found himself to be waiting for yet another evening he would spend just with you. Talking about the War, politics and the situation of the medic teams. But also about your favorite planet, the language you both would like to learn, about the dish you'd like to try and things you'd never touch and how awful Kenobi's lack of any reason is. He found himself thinking what would you think of the last planet he was on. Would you enjoy it or would you hate it as much as he did. What he learned was that he didn't find it scary that he started to think of you more and more often. And that scared him the most.
"Now open your eyes and just do what I taught you." And to your surprise the knife actually hit the target. Maybe not the actual target per se, but it stuck into the oval plate, which was a much better outcome than the other tries before. You gasped surprised and looked up at Commander smiling widely. You were so excited about the outcome of your last throw that you didn't realize how close you were to the man. His hands were still on you, his body closer than before. "Good girl." He murmured and it was then you realized. The praise never left him before and it was so unexpected that you had to stiffen the little moan trying to escape. Was he doing it on purpose, did he know what he did to you? Could you even dream to think that maybe you had a small effect on him as well? "Now let's see if that would work on the blaster as well." He took a step back and removed his hands from yours, putting the practice blaster in the same place the knife was just seconds ago. "Just like you did before take a deep breath."
You tried your best to concentrate and remember the feeling just before you threw the knife. But your mind was blank,completely. Your body felt cold and stiff again and you missed it. Miserably. You looked away afraid to see disappointment in his eyes.
"Again", you flinched a little bit, unsure if it was the Commander voice he used on you now, or you were just being paranoid. "Relax, Doc. You're stiff and awkward again. Take a deep breath, just like I showed you."
You weren't sure what it was that made you say it. Was it the overwhelming feeling or failure that you wanted to end. Or just a reminder of his hands on yours, the dream you know that would never come true. The reminder of him behind you, so close that could feel his heartbeat. The same heart you saved weeks ago. The heart of the man you were so desperately feeling in love with and you couldn't help it.
"Would you remind me, please?" Cody's eyes widened, hearing your quiet and soft question. You still weren’t looking at him, but he was sure to see your cheeks getting this adorable color of pink. It's not that Cody isn't familiar with women, hell no. He had enough adventures with them when he went to the 79's. But these were emotionless, he always knew what to expect. A night of fun and release and a goodbye before the sunrise. A one night stand. Nothing more, nothing less. But despite it all, he knew when a woman flirted with him. And despite the women in the club being more forward, he was sure that little question was not innocent. Not when you yourself were so flustered.
He felt divided when he stood behind you. He knew that he shouldn't, he didn't want to give you hope that anything could happen between the two of you. He knew he was becoming soft on you, but you weren't like those girls in the club. He didn't want to use those feelings of yours as a way to release his stress. You were so much to him already. So much more than he would dream to accept.
But the other part of him was pulling him towards you. It wanted to be closer to you, to be touched by you and show the most vulnerable parts of himself, he never showed anyone, not even his closest brothers. He wanted to get to know you more and more. And not only on the physical level but the emotional as well, and as scary as it was it was most importantly thrilling. And the more time he spent with you the more time he realized the second voice always won.
And so he grasped your arm in one of his hands, turned you around and pulled you towards him in a way that your back was pressed against his chest. The hand on your arm traveled down to your hand holding the blaster, changing its position to make sure you held it correctly. His other hand was hovered over your hip. "Relax, mesh’la" you shivered slightly hearing his voice so close to your ear. You swallowed hard and did what he asked, ignoring the Mando word you were sure you've heard before in your life. "There, good girl!" Now you were almost sure he was doing it on purpose. There was no way that he was as cruelest as that. You felt so warm and no matter how much you tried, you felt heat on your cheeks and your mouth was getting drier and drier. "Good, deep breath. Close your eyes for a second and relax." You followed his instructions and smiled, actually relaxing with his touch. He smelled amazing as well, like pinetree forest. So fresh and natural and so when you opened your eyes and shot, you actually hit the little disk not too far away from the target.
He turned you around and smiled softly at you. The kind of smile you have never seen. You could see it in his eyes how proud he was of you right now. His other hand joined the first one in your hip and he pulled you closer, closing the distance between the two of you even more. His eyes shifted to your lip and you swallowed, unable to look away from this beautiful, amazing man. As you were about to pull him down by his neck, the loud beeping pulled you two away from each other.
"General", his tone lacked the softness and he was back to being the Commander of 212th. "Yes, we are done here." You felt a weird twist in the stomach when he didn't look at you. "She'll manage when it's necessary", you looked away from him and put the gun away, the feeling getting nastier every second. "Yes, sir. I'm coming" He ended the call and without giving you even a look, walked to his armor and put it on quickly, including the helmet. "Practice what you learned alone. I will send Boil to supervise your progress" and he left, leaving you completely dumbstruck. Without even a glance back, the doors closed behind you and you felt tears in your eyes.
What the hell just happened? There were so many questions in your head now and you weren't sure, you were able to find an answer to any of them. Were you too forward with the request ? If you were, why didn't he say anything? It was him, who pulled you closer, it was him that gave you that look. It was his hand on your hips and it was his smile that lured you towards him. And despite knowing it all, you still felt as if you screwed up. You were standing there searching for a reason why he just left, moving you to someone else, as you were an incompetent shiny.
You cursed when tears started to fall. Why did he just leave? Did he hate you now ? Did you read the room wrong ? The more you thought about it, the more you felt your heart breaking. You thought, damn that, you hoped, that maybe you two were getting closer. You never expected him to return your feelings. You just wanted to be his friend. You just wanted him in your life. And somehow, not even sure how, you screwed it all up.
It was stupid of you to think that someone like Cody would ever be interested in you. You were just one of the medics, working for GAR. There was nothing special about you. You weren't even able to use a blaster. How would you even think, the Marshal Commander would spare you any time. You should have been happy that he spent his precious time with you. Something you were sure that you have lost.
And so, you followed his order. An order of the Marshal Commander of the Republic army. You calmed yourself down and practiced, to make sure that you wouldn't bother anyone.
***
"You look angry" Rex was looking at his vod with concern in his eyes. "You seemed optimistic with the plan on the debrief."
"It's a good plan." Cody answered shortly, taking a sip of caff, or whatever the hell that was supposed to be.
"Then what's going on?" The Commander sighed and hid his face in his hands, unable to even explain it. He was angry at himself. So damn frustrated, that he let himself go when it came to you. He acted like a damn shiny. It was stupid, but he knew what he wanted at that moment. He wanted you, so damn much. He wanted to taste you in all the ways possible. He wanted to feel those soft hands on his skin, he wanted to hear you say his name. He wanted you. And that was the stupidest thing he did, even worse than getting drunk with Wolffe that one night, and that was stupid already.
"Nothing. I just have to get my head straightened to focus on the mission", the captain raised his brow in surprise. Cody was always focused on the mission. Rex hasn't met anyone as serious about the War as Cody was. So whatever got him distracted must be huge. "I have to focus on what's really important."
"You spend too much time with General Kenobi… you start talking in the same mysterious ways" the Commander chuckled softly and took another sip from his cup, hating it even more than the first one. What he wouldn't do for a cup of an actual caff. He would have to definitely go see Fox after that mission. The bastard was one lucky son of a bitch. Sure he had to work below Palpatine, but he had the best caff.
"Have you ever thought about something more?" The question surprised both of them. Cody wasn't sure if it was the tiredness and lack of sleep that pushed him to start the topic, or just the fact that he felt worse and worse everytime he remembered the look on your face when he just left.
"More than what? That piss they dare call caff?
"You know what I mean Rex’ika" the captain of course knew what his brother meant. But he was still working out the surprise of the question itself. Cody was a dedicated soldier, one of, if not the best one out there. And here he was, asking about the alternative future. Something more than being a soldier. "What if there is more and we're just too afraid to take it?"
"We're soldiers, Clones… we are at War. I won't lie to you and say that I never thought of what it would be like to have a family one day. To wake up to a nice warm body wrapped around me and not wonder about the awkwardness of the morning after." He chuckled nervously. "But I'm aware that those are dreams of common men, and we, my friend, are not common men." He hated to see the way Cody shoulders dropped a bit at his words. But he preferred to be honest with him straight away than to give him a false hope that would break him even more, later on. "So I'm guessing the training was eventful?"
It was Cody's time to chuckle nervously, sadly even, which didn't go unnoticed by Rex. It wasn't a surprise to Rex about your feeling towards his Vod, and he may have heard of the rejection you got from the said man. So it was surprising to see when Cody has started to spend his time with you, more often than not. And he was more than surprised when it was the Commander that volunteered to train you for the upcoming mission. Rex worried it would only make things more complicated, but he never thought it would turn out like that. With Cody falling for the sweet Doctor. If they weren't Clones, during the War, he would have found the situation hilarious. If only.
"Boil is going to train her that last day" Rex' eyes widened at Cody's words and tone. "I need to focus on the strategy and the briefing. I don't have time to babysit. "Not waiting for a response, the Commander stood and left the kitchen, hoping to get at least a bit of sleep.
Rex was staring at the closed doors unable to comprehend what just happened. But whatever did happen between the two of you must have scared the man quite a bit, seeing how he decided that running away from his problems and putting down the emotional barrier was the only way to go. Rex only hoped that it would not affect you that much.
***
Boil was an excellent teacher. He was patient and fun to be around. He gave you some tips for when you have to shoot and you don't have time to think. Or he gave you an idea to hold the knife differently. Of course he didn't make a soldier out of you in a day, but you were more than thankful to him for the support. You still felt nervous now, sitting at the briefing room, but you kind of felt like you would be able to do something. He also made sure you trained hard enough not to think of Cody.
Cody, the same man, who was standing near the table covered in plans, who was ignoring your presence. It was like you didn't exist. Like that little scene between the two of you never happened. Like all that relationship you worked so hard in maintaining just seemed to cease. It broke your heart, seeing how he bluntly ignored you, not even daring looking your way.
"You with us, Doc?" You blinked a couple of times, turning your attention towards Kenobi, who was relying on the brief for the mission.
"My people are ready, whenever you need us." You started, walking closer to the map, stopping as far away from Cody as possible. "My technical team will be stationed here", you pointed at one of the caves about half a click from the main medical base and about a click from the main battle front. “Kix' team will support my guys there and have some moving men between those two places." You circled around the spots you talked about. "This will give us a good flow of pace. Team Alpha and Beta will be placed under both you General and Skywalker as medical support for the Clones teams." You paused and looked at the two Jedi with nothing but seriousness in your eyes. "Please remember I put these men's lives into your hands, Masters. I trust I won't have to focus on writing any apology letters to their families." This was one of the points you brought up regarding the mission. Your men would be as safe as it was possible. "Ceavis and I will lead two small teams closest to the Generals and focus on first aid and logistics. Each team will consist of 4 men plus the leaders. What we say, goes. Understood?" You were sure you noticed a smirk on both Rex' and Ashoka's lips. But no one dared to say anything but to nod.
This mission was one of the most important ones yet. Two objectives during one assault. One team would focus on the fighting and defending objective. Keeping the army as far away from the separatists' base as possible. And that mission fell on the more offensive 501st. The other one would be responsible for saving the political prisoners and getting the stolen information back to the Republic - fallen under the responsibility of the 212th. This was why the medic team was needed. There was no time to retreat and help the injured back in the base. The base would have to move with them and help those that would still be working, hoping to minimize the casualties.
"Doc, you keep with me and Cody." You tensed a bit, unable to hide it away from the Jedi, who only raised his brow. "We will listen to you regarding the medical knowledge and expertise, but Cody here is responsible for you, so you listen to him. Understood ?" He mimicked your words with a lace of joke in his voice. You nodded looking at the Commander, who was still looking at the map, memorizing it to the last detail.
You couldn't blame him, you knew that. He was focused on the mission and the War and keeping his brothers alive. But it still hurt you that he bluntly ignored you, like you were some kind of disease. It hurts you to be able to see the softness in his eyes and feel it on your skin and so absurdly be punished for it. You never expected anything from him, and you told him that, and for just one moment you felt so happy and full. So full and finally able to breathe when he looked at you with those eyes of his. Like you were the only thing in the world at that short moment, like you were a magnet pulling him towards you. And then it was over, it ended sooner than it actually started and he wasn't even able to look at you.
"Don't worry, Kenobi. I know my place." You didn't mean it to sound as hurt as you did, but it did make Cody finally look at you. He frowned, but didn't say anything. Putting his helmet on, he left the room, telling his General he's off to double check everything.
"So…" you looked at Rex who walked to your side. You were thankful it was him and not Kenobi, or worse, Anakin. "Will you at least tell what my di’kut of a brother did?" You couldn't help but smile softly at the Captain. You weren't sure if Cody spoke to him about what happened… on the other hand you would like to know yourself what happened.
"Getting rid of any interruptions." The Clone raised his brow at that and sighed. He was afraid, whatever Cody started talking about, was more what he originally thought. And seeing the way you both reacted to each other, Rex knew that whatever you worked so hard to build, was somehow destroyed. And he couldn't get the feeling off his chest, that it was somehow his brother's fault. "It's my fault really. I was stupid enough to hope that whatever was building between us was something more than a typical professional relation." And before Rex was able to say anything, you left the briefing room, hoping he would have missed that single tear that dropped down your cheek.
***
"I hope you know I don't like it one bit" Ceavis growled under his breath, preparing for the upcoming mission. Ceavis was your third in command and as much as you appreciated his work and knowledge, you and him were never truly friends. You both had too different characters and a completely different look on the world and your jobs.
"Yes, you mentioned that once or twice", you rolled your eyes at his tone and sighed. You were in no mood to listen to his constant negativity. It was the last thing you and your men needed. You knew it wasn't a good idea, but the decision has been made. "I'm not sure which team would actually be a better and safer option." You stared at him for a while, waiting for him to at least start packing the essentials, but apparently he had all the time in the world, while you were repacking for the fifth time already.
You didn't know how Kix did it. You were only allowed a small backpack, enough to keep you alive, but not enough to actually do anything productive. It scared you, the thought that you had to choose from the essentials, that the Clones had to choose like that every damn mission.
"Master Skywalker and the 501st's team will be much bigger, that's why I'm sending you there." You started, trying to control the annoyance in your voice. "You and Enya will focus on firming two formations. Let Enya handle the stay put one, while you take the teams and get the help directly to the soldiers. Your team got the basic training right ?" He nodded visibly, not happy with the way you still wanted to go with the mission. You wonder why he even agreed to come. "Anakin knows that the lives of my people are his priority. He wouldn't want to get under my skin, so whenever you feel like the mission is out of the hands of the 501st speak with Rex and Anakin." You got a nod from him and you turned to leave the room. "We are part of something bigger here, Ceavis, try to remember that", and not giving him any time to respond you left, going to meet up with your team.
***
"Is there any reason for this weird energy between you and Doc?" Cody frowned at his General. He should have known Kenobi would have picked up any unusual behavior. "I thought you were becoming close."
"Too close", the Commander answered, before he was able to think of the words coming out of his mouth. He sighed at the Jedi's raised brow and continued. "We're at War, General. It would be irresponsible to get attached to anyone."
"You don't mind the relationship you share with me and your brothers."
"This is different, sir!" Cody murmured, knowing well enough what the man next to him was trying to do.
"Well I hope so, I'm really not good at dealing with romantic feelings" Cody's head snapped at him, his eyes widened and mouth opened almost as if he was ready to fight with his General, but nothing came out. "Whether you're blind or really afraid. Frankly I never considered you a coward and for the success of the mission I hope there's nothing wrong with your eyesight." The Clone swallowed hard and the Jedi smiled. "What's really the matter, my dear ?" Cody hated it when he used these words of affection. He would never be able to say no to his Jedi, and he hated the fact that the general had such power over him. With nothing more than some words.
"I don't really know myself. Before I knew it, I started to actually enjoy her company. She's smart, witty, interesting and…" He coughed awkwardly, playing with his helmet. "She's really pretty." He looked away, hearing the Jedi chuckle softly. "I felt bad at the beginning. I never had anyone declare their love for me and I didn't want her to get hurt. I hoped that if I tried to stay friendly she wouldn't feel bad. But the more time I spent with her the more I thought of her." He shook his head in annoyance and kept on playing with the helmet. "The last couple of days, when I trained her… I know not every Jedi believes we’re nothing but the weapon for the Republic, but it's still weird to hear it from civvies." He scratched his neck nervously, feeling his Jedi's eyes on him. "She sees us. Like really sees us and I can't help but wanting to see her as well. She cried angry tears because she thought she was a burden to me." He chuckled, but got serious again with the flashbacks. "I never felt such a pull towards anybody. I wanted to comfort her not as a Commander, but as a man. Her man." He clenched his hands around his helmet and closed his eyes. "I… you called when I almost …egh.. you know."
"Kissed her", Kenobi helped him out, laughing at the way his Commander stared at him. It was like he said something in a line of taboo. Obi Wan could not help but admit that it was adorable to see the always stoic Commander, all flustered with a thought of kissing someone.
"I'm starting to realize why the Jedi opt for no emotions involved." Cody started again, making the Jedi frown again. "I asked Boil to train her after that and we haven't really spoken… I'm trying to ignore her, because if I'm near her, all I think about is her going on that mission with us. And the thought that something may happen to her paralyzes me to the ground. It's pathetic isn't it?"
Kenobi smiled softly at the man and patted him on the shoulder. It wasn't a secret to him that you were utterly in love with the man, but it was new to see the Clone smitten with you, especially after he rejected your feelings in the first place. He knew the way others looked at the Clones, and he would lie if he said he wasn’t angry whenever someone said something bad about them. For the General, his Commander and his brothers were as much human as he or anyone in the Galaxy and they deserved the respect for protecting the Republic. So whenever he went out with his battalion to 79th, he truly enjoyed seeing them relaxed and flirty with the girls. And it wasn't a secret that he saw Cody as more than his Commander. He was happy to call him a friend and right now, he couldn't help the happy feeling in his stomach seeing Cody in love with his other friend.
"It's not pathetic, Cody. It's childish that you ignore her, yes." He grinned at the angry look from the Clone but continued nevertheless. "But definitely not pathetic. We Jedi see more and feel stronger. So much stronger than anyone in the Galaxy. To control those feelings we opt for these no attachment rules. But it's not like we don't feel. Feeling makes you human. It makes you act faster and stronger to protect those that you care about. You are a great soldier, my dear, and there is not doubt in me that the mission will be a success, even when you worry so deeply for our Doctor." The Clone smiled softly and nodded. "Love isn't easy and it doesn't always end well, but running away from it may be the most stupid mistake you'd made in your life. If you care for her, talk to her. Tell her how you feel, but for the love of the Force, don't ignore her. You'll only hurt yourself and her even more." He ended at the same moment when your team was slowly getting hungry. "Trust me, my friend. Life is to short for regrets."
***
"I want to set a camp of some kind in here" you stated, showing a place that was supposed to be abandoned, not too far away from the final destination, but far enough that the medics would have time to fall back. "If you need a medic to come with you, I volunteer, Boil and Commander Cody have trained me enough not to be a bother. Aila will stay and take command over the camp." The young girl nodded, already hearing the plan from you, before you presented it to the battalion. "Cath has also agreed to go if you decide to split during the mission. This would give a total of four medic in the move-in team, which is more than enough." You looked at Cath, a young man who, as one of few, had some experience with blasters.
"Sounds good to me" Kenobi started, looking at his Commander who was still looking at the holomap, a frown on his face. He didn't like the fact that you so willingly wanted to go with them, but he knew if it was anyone else he would have agreed to a good plan. You were the best medic he knew and it would be a stupid ass decision if he declined your help, especially that it was what he trained you for.
"It sounds good. Having a small camp will help in case we would need to fall out and go in a smaller group." He nodded, more and more impressed with your planning skills. It made him a bit at ease, when he knew you were prepared for that mission. "The entry to the building seems like a labyrinth, it would be a good idea to divide the teams right now, to save time later."
"I'll take the lead with the first team, you can have the other team." Kenobi started looking at Cody, who nodded in agreement. "I want to see what Cath is capable of." He didn't miss his Commander's eyes on him and he knew there would be a stern talking about it later on. He bit down a chuckle at that. "You and Doc work well together, are you OK with that ?"
"Yes, sir!"
"Sure, Kenobi", both of you answered at the same time, not daring to look at each other. Working well with each other. You almost scoffed how untrue that was at the moment. You probably would if Cody would have enough guts to look at you… and well, if you weren't such a coward yourself. But this was a mission, no personal attachment was prohibited and you had to hide the hurt you felt. And shame. It was the second time you let the same man break your heart. He didn't even have to do much, his ignorance was enough for you to bring tears in your eyes at night. But it was in the past, nothing was more important than the present. And right now you had to work together to make sure the mission went smoothly.
"Alright! We move out in ten, get ready!" Everyone around turned and was ready to follow the Jedi into the ship, already prepared for the upcoming mission. You did the same, turning to leave when you felt a hand on your wrist stopping you.
"Can we please talk?" You raised your brow wanting nothing more to just walk away and tell him there was nothing to talk about. But your stupid heart made you stop and nod at the Clone. "I must apologize. What I did in the training room was a mistake." So two was not enough. He just broke your heart the third time. A mistake - that closeness, that softness in his eyes, the touch of his hands on you. It was all a mistake. "I should not have gotten so close. I… I mean there is a mission and I think we should both focus on that right now." He tried to make the last two words stand out, but the nervousness made it only sound harsher than he ever intended.
"I understand", his eyes widened at your affirmation and he seemed to relax a bit, until he actually looked at you and his heart broke just a little. Your expression was emotionless, your eyes had no life in them, like you didn't care about anything. "You don't have to worry, that mistake won't happen again." He voluntarily flinched at your monotone voice and the repeat of his own words. Somehow, hearing them from you, felt foreign, painful. "The mission is a priority, Commander." And then you left him alone in that empty briefing room. Feeling worse than he has ever felt before.
***
The planet was a nightmare. Whenever you stood, you could hear someone fighting. It was like a war zone on the whole damn planet. You tried to ignore the dead bodies of locals, just left there. Forgotten by everyone, like a bag of trash forgotten, when it wasn't needed anymore.
"We divide here." Kenobi started, looking at your team, as if encouraging you. You sent him a small smile, which je reciprocated with a firm nod. "Cody, I will let you know when we get the data back, I'm awaiting your response when it comes to the situation at your sector."
"Yes, sir !" The Clone turned towards your group and showed the small map from the holopad. "We will focus on that road here. It's a recon mission from us. If we can avoid the fight we will. 501 has that covered." You couldn't help but smile at his tired tone, when he mentioned Anakin's division. "We may encounter local forces there. If you have to fight, if you don't, capture them. Reckon! Everyone gets it?” A chorus of yes sirs was heard and the men scattered to get into the position. “Stay close to me, Doc.” You turned, after hearing his voice. Despite the command in the tone, you could see a vulnerability in his eyes. You didn't understand where that came from, but you nodded.
You weren’t about to be a bother to him. You have decided. The moment that mission is over, you will come back to your hospital and regain that professional relationship Cody was so fixated about. The last thing you wanted was to make his life any more difficult than it already was. You desperately hoped to become his friend. Someone who would be able to help him whenever he would have been in need. But he wasn’t looking for a friend. You realized he was just being nice. A good, old Cody. Always the gentleman. All this talk the two of you had was some kind of an apology from him for turning you down. And that thought was making you want to break down and cry right here right now.
“Boss” you heard Aila’s voice in your right ear and turned to commlink on. “The camp is set up and we have divided work throughout our stuff and the Clones.” You smiled at her words and nodded at Cody who looked your way, as if to confirm that all is fine.
“Good! Make sure that you’re aware of both your surroundings and the medical stuff. Try to divide it into small teams as we discussed. Get Grail and Tylie focus on the equipment. The rest make sure you show off to those Clones. We can’t be worse than them.” You ignored the chuckle from the Commander and smiled at the one from the girl on the base. You believed in your men, your medics were the best and you weren’t being subjective. You trained them well, and you trusted them with your life. All you could do was boost their morale as much as possible. Even with some stupid jokes like that. “If anything happens let me or Commander Cody know.”
“Boil and Waxer have already instructed us on the military shit.” The girl laughed at the two Clones that were left behind as a support. “You be safe, OK, boss? I need a raise and I won’t get it, if you don’t come back.” You laughed at that and turned off the comm, when you walked into the tunnel.
“Focus now. Blasters out, get them into stun mode and keep your heads up.” Cody muttered, turning on the light on his helmet. “And remember we only kill the damn clanckers.” You followed his order, getting your blaster out. You could almost hear your heart beating, with how loud it was getting. You tried your best to control your breathing but it was getting more difficult the further you went into that tunnel. The damn gun was also much heavier than it was during the practice. You noticed how your hand shook a bit when you lifted the blaster slightly. This was ridiculous. You shouldn’t be this nervous, you knew what you were getting yourself into. It’s too late to change your mind. Survive this and you can come back to your patients and white walls of your hospital.
“I won’t let anything happen to you.” Cody whispered softly, seeing the way your hands were shaking. He wasn’t surprised to see your nervous state. Despite being an amazing doctor, you were just a civilian, that was always as far away as possible from the battlefield. All this must be terrifying for you. Not only were you afraid for your own life, but knowing you, you were also thinking of your team. Always the caring one. “Do you trust me?” He didn’t know where that question came from. He wasn’t supposed to focus on any kind of conversation with you. His job was to observe and act as quickly as possible. Not have an existential dialogue, with the woman he was annoyingly falling for. This should be left for after the mission. And yet here he was, trying his best to make you feel better.
“Yes”, the certainty in your voice made his heart skip a beat. He didn’t expect you to answer so quickly and with such confidence. He looked down and smiled softly seeing the way you were completely focused on your surroundings. ‘Good girl’, he thought to himself.
“Good, then we have nothing to worry about”, she smiled softly and he felt lighter seeing that little lip quirk. He felt proud for making you feel at least a little bit at ease.
“Commander!” He stopped, motioning to others to stand by. “Its Vice here. We are at some kind of door, about half a click from your position. We can check it out, or should we wait for you?”
“Wait for us.” He commended, signaling others to move again. “All the medics are here with us, in case something happens no one will be able to help you. Stand down, and wait, Tropper.” A soft yes, sir was the last thing Cody heard and he took some extra, longer steps to get where his men are. He could hear how you already contacted the CLone medic for this team, to be ready. Well, there go the nerves.
“Isn’t it too quiet, Commander?” If they were in any other situation, he would have hated the way you addressed him. But it was the mission, and he was telling himself you were just being professional. Something he should focus on as well. “I may be paranoid, but…”
“It’s possible that the real action will start after we open those doors Vice told us about”, he answered but couldn’t get rid of the nasty feeling in his stomach. He actually did feel the same as you. You all walked for 15 minutes now and nothing was going on. Not only you haven't missed anything, but there was no one waiting for you. “General”, he finally spoke to his comm, when they stopped at the doors with Vice by his side. “Do you read me?”
“Loud and clear, Cody.” hearing as Kenobi answered almost automatically it seemed that nothing was happening on his side. “Something doesn’t smell nice in here.”
“Same here, Sir.” He murmured and signaled for his men to take position. “ We are at the doors. We will open them and see where it gets us. Has General Skywalker been in touch”
“The 501st are having the time of their lives right now, from what I heard.” You couldn’t help but chuckle softly at his sarcastic tone. “But Anakin didn’t sound like he was complaining.”
“Nothing new then”, Cody commanded and the General hummed softly. I will contact you in 15 minutes. If you don’t hear from me or anyone on the team, please assume the worst.”
“Same here, Commander. Stay safe!” And that was it. No commands from the General to the Commander. There was no need. Obi Wan trusted Cody completely and the Clone Commander knew that well. That trust went both ways.
“Ok, on count to three, Howl, open up that damn door.” raising his hand, he started to count down from three and when he closed the fist, you expected some kind of commotion, a boom or a blaster fire from the other side. But once again nothing was there. One part of you was happy that nothing has happened yet, but the second part knew that there was something fishy in here. “Move, move. Keep your eyes open, but let's keep on moving. Instinctively you moved closer to Cody, after his instructions, your fingers tightening on the blaster just a little more.
“The sensor shows around 50 people a click away from here”, Guts reported, showing the screen to Cody. So the intel was correct. There were people being held captive. “There are kids as well.” He nodded and looked down at you. You nodded, understanding. The moment they got there, it was your job to get to those poor people and help those that were in need. Your other, free fist clenched around your bag, ready for the action.
“General. We have sensed 50 lives a click away from us. We are ready to move in. We will meet you at the rendez-vous point, when we can.” He frowned when there was no response. He tried again, and again, but the line was quiet. “Howl, Vice, Doc, try your comms and contact the General.” You all did as he asked, but the outcome was the same. Silence.
“Shouldn’t we help them?” You asked and he looked at you, shaking his head.
“They may have encountered the enemy. We should finish our mission here and then help them.” You wanted to argue. What if they were ambushed, what if they needed our help but couldn’t contact us, what if… “You said you trust me, Doc.” You looked at him and frowned, when he took off his helmet. “Then trust me on this one. And let’s finish our first mission together.” You opened your mouth to respond, but couldn’t find any words. You did trust him. And his judgment. And so you nodded, closing your eyes to relax.
“Ok boys, let’s get this done and go help the General.” They all cheered and you all got ready to storm the place down, unable to hear the quiet rumble from the General in your ear. A silent “it’s a trap” that would later on be a constant nightmare to those that somehow survived.
***
All you could hear was the ringing in your ears. You tried opening your eyes, but you felt as if they were all too heavy. The air felt polluted and heavy all of a sudden. Your head, and that damn ringing wasn’t helping the migrene that was forming, quicker than you liked to admit. Something wasn’t right. But you were still too out of it to realize what was happening.
“Doc!!” you must be dreaming, because you are sure, you hear that soft voice of the commander near you. But for some reason he sounded so worried, almost scared. If that was even possible. You so desperately wanted to keep on dreaming. To have him speak to you in that same soft manner. With his hand on your cheek. This dream was what you wanted for so long and so you closed your eyes and focused on sleeping. “No, no, open those eyes. Come on, sweet girl! Look at me!” He never called you that. Those sweet words were like honey to your ears and you wanted to listen. But you were afraid that if you did, you would wake up and be met with reality. “You have to wake up, damn! Come on!” The pain in your stomach, however, brought you back to reality. With a gasp you sat down and opened those heavy lids, squinting, when the dust was getting into them. “Thank the Maker!”
You looked around and stiffened seeing the scene. If it was only biologically possible, you were sure, your heart just stopped beating right at that moment. You were used to blood and suffering and screams of pains, but what you were now surrounded by was more like Hell. It was how you imagined it to be.
“Don’t look!” it made you look up at him for the first time, since you opened your eyes. He didn’t have his helmet, there was a trickle of blood flowing down his handsome face. There were cuts on his cheeks and his always well-kept hair was a total mess now. He looked awful, and yet you still find him so incredibly handsome. “Focus those pretty eyes on me, OK?” You frowned and tried to look around again, but he stopped your head with his hand on your cheek. His forehead resting on yours, making your breath hitch at the proximity. “I need to get you out of here.”
“Cody”, you started but hissed when you tried to move. You looked down at the source of pain and your eyes widened. Your shirt was no longer white and one of Cody’s hands was pushing on the spot there, trying to stop the flow as much as he could. “What happened?” You asked quietly but he only shook his head and you released that he was shaking slightly. “Cody… Are you… Are you OK?” You were slurring a bit, but you had to make sure. He had a cut on his head. You needed to check on it, to make sure he didn’t have a concussion.
“I need to stop that fucking bleeding and I will be just fine, Mesh’la!” He said, pushing on that wound of yours, making you scream in pain. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Please, please tell me what to do!”
“I need to help others first. Need to take a look at your head!” You looked around again and a shocked sob escaped your lips, when you finally realized what surrounded you. Masses of motionless bodies, laying in the most bizarre positions. Some crushed by the rocks, some not even full. You weren’t sure if you were even able to locate the part of each of the bodies, to try to put them back together? What for? You didn’t know. Not like those Clones had families that would like to bury them. They all died here with their family. All of them, from what you saw. All these men that accompanied you here, were lying dead in front of you. And not just them. In the further part of the corridor you could see bodies of the civilians you came to save. Men, women, kids. Even babies. All dead, buried under the rocks, with blood pouring through the leaks of those rocky walls.
You tried to look away but you couldn’t. Even Cody’s hand on your face didn’t work this time. Your eyes were following each of the bodies surrounding you. A young man holding a woman in his arms. A child separated from his mother. A young woman with dreams cut so drastically. And your whole squad. Those men you loved so much and cared for. You tried to scream when you noticed Vice’s body laying not too far away from you. But you couldn’t as no sound left your lips. He just laid there, still in his armor. If you truly wanted, you could imagine, he was just resting. If you only shook him a bit, maybe he would wake up and smile at you.
You looked at Cody again, when you heard him calling you by your first name. You couldn’t remember if he ever did that? He did use your last name once or twice, but normally stuck with Doc. Until now, you weren’t sure he even knew your name. You chuckled to yourself, but caught when the pain was back, You gasped and almost fell back, if not for Cody keeping an eye on you.
“I know you worry about everyone. But please, Doc. We have to take care of you first.” Oh, yeah you were bleeding. The adrenaline was wearing off and you did start to feel it all. You tried to take a deep breath and relax a bit. You knew that if you let yourself, you will get into a panic attack mode, and that was not good for your heart. And then Cody would have to take care of even more than he does now. Poor guy. He did not sign up for this. You weren’t supposed to be a bother. No to him. No… You shook your head slightly, trying to get back to the topic at hand.
“As the bleeding isn’t exceeding, it means you did a good job and left whatever is there blocking it?” Speaking was getting more and more difficult, but you needed to instruct your commander what to do. You wouldn’t do it to him. You won’t just die, and leave him be. Alone in that Hell you found yourself in. “Don’t take it out even if I go into shock and ask you to do it, got it?” He nodded and still kept the pressure on the wound. “As I’m still able to actually think it means, I wasn’t out for too long and haven’t lost that much blood yet.”
“No… It all happened about 5 minutes ago.” You nodded and slowly sat up, easing your breathing with every second. It all meant one thing. You were probably in the second class of hemorrhagic shock, which wasn’t that bad. You did feel anxious, but the total confusion hasn’t come yet. “I’m not sure if we're actually safe here, so I would prefer to move you…”
“No”, you stopped him, mid sentence, shaking your head. “Any sudden move will lead me to bleed out. We need to stop that blood coming out of my body before anything else.”
“And how do we do that?” You clenched your hand around something, which you later on realized it was Cody’s thigh, you were holding on. But he didn’t seem to mind at all, not even caring that you would probably leave some bruises there.
“My bag”, you said softly, realizing that what you’re about to offer will be a hell on its own. But either that or bleeding out on your first ever mission. And that was just sad. “You will have to…” A cough stopped you and you cursed feeling a metallic taste in your mouth. Not good, very not good. “You will have to act fast. OK?” He nodded and he opened your back. To your surprise nothing broke there and you happily found what you were looking for. A pair of gloves, a bottle with a silver nitrate solution, you were so glad you decided to prepare. Some swabs, bacta patches and hemostatic dressings that should help the bacta to do the trick.
“Ok, some pay back for sticking my hands into your chest.” He raised his brow and smiled softly, happy to see you still had enough energy for some silly jokes. “First of all, put the gloves on. Then prepare some swabs and then after removing that thing in my body, you will pour the…”
“You just told me not to remove it”, he countered and you sigh, giving him a stern look. You didn’t have the energy to do any of it. You were slowly getting into class three of shock that wasn’t good.
“You will pull that out of me and pour that bottle’s continent on the wound. Do not stop even If I cry and scream. You need to pour at least half of it. You need to do that the second the thing is out of my body.” You looked at him and he nodded, understanding your implication. “You then put the dressing on and patch it up with some bacta. And hopefully it will stick till we get some help.”
“Hopefully?” he raised his brow at you but put on his gloves and started to follow your orders. He has never done anything like that. He wasn’t a medic. He wasn’t trained to do it. Your life depended on him and he hated it. He was supposed to protect you and here you were, lying injured because you saved him. He wasn’t sure you even remember how you pushed him away, when the bomb went off. How without thinking you just jumped to action saving his sorry ass.
He closed his eyes to relax and acted before he changed his mind. He tried. He tried so hard to ignore that hellish scream from you when he poured whatever there was in that bottle. He knew he would dream of nightmares of that scream and part of him knew he deserved it. But he kept on going. He did what you told him to do and when you laid there with your eyes half closed, breathing hard, your face covered in tears, but with the wound sealed somehow and no blood was flowing, he was fine with being the one to bring that scream out of you, if it meant you would survive it.
“Hey, Mesh’la, you OK?” You smiled weakly and nodded. “Ok, I’ll clean that up quickly and we need to go, ok?”
“I need to have a look at your injuries… We need to see if someone…”
“No-one survived.” It was like a slap to your face and you recoiled, feeling your eyes water at that. “It wa s a fucking trap. They knew we were coming and they used civilians to get us here.” He shoved the medical things into your bag, and took it on his shoulder. “I tried contacting the General, but no sign yet.” You looked around again, and sniffed looking at all those bodies laying around.
“I’m a doctor, Cody… I was supposed to save them. I was supposed to do something… I can’t just leave….”
“You couldn’t do anything for them… But you saved my life, if that makes you feel better.” You frowned, and gasped softly, when he lifted you up into his arms. He was so careful with you. It was such a contrast to the hardened soldier he was. “You pushed me away when the bob went off. I will always be in favor of you.” You looked up at his stoic face and hid your face into his chest, letting yourself cry. For real this time.
***
“Have any of them answered?” Obi Wan raised his eyes on his former Padawan and sighed, shaking his head. “Rex has his team ready to go. We will take Kix and Cath with us and we can go search for them.” Anakin looked at his Captain who nodded, ready to go and save his brother. “You can take Rex and go save your men.” The Master smirked and looked at Skywalker, who shrugged. He was a good man. Kenobi knew that Anakin understood. If it was Rex buried there, the young Skywalker would not have been as calm as his Master.
“I should have felt it in the Force much quicker. I should have acted sooner.”
“It’s not your fault, Master!” Ashoka added, frowning at Kenobi. “I don’t think anyone out there would blame you for that, and so you shouldn’t.”
“When did your Padawan become so smart, Anakin?” They both laughed softly and he sighed. “I hope she’s alright. It was her first mission.”
“Cody is there, so there is nothing to worry about, Sir!” Rex said, making the Jedi master smile softly. Yet, the Captain was right. Cody was the best soldier Kenobi knows. If there was anyone who would survive that and protect you, it was him. And so he stood and took his lightsaber from Anakin, ready to save his friends.
***
“I’m sorry Cody”, he looked down and your form crawled at his thighs. You looked so small, so adorable, if only those tears didn’t stain that pretty face of yours, he would be a happy man to hold you so close to himself. Almost losing you made him realize that he was an utter idiot. He should have been honest with you at the base. You two should have talked. And he promised himself, he would not leave your side. He would be your shield. Physically and emotionally. He would let you sleep on him, he would let you wet his armor with your tears. He would let you do anything to him, only if you felt just slightly better. “You lost so many of your brothers and I’m the one who’s…
“You cry for my brothers.” He ended for you, kissing your temple softly, making you freeze. You closed your eyes, enjoying the tender feeling of having him so close. You should not be enjoying it. It was selfish, and yet you couldn't help it. Despite the armor, you could feel the heat of his body. Or was it your body heat you felt? “Not many do that. Not many care enough to share a tear for them. And here you are. Your beautiful eyes puffy after crying so hard for those that were meant to die.”
“I hate when you say that.” He chuckled sadly, and hugged you closer, his cheek on the top of your head. “I wish I would have done more.” And yet it was like a lighting shock. You straightened, hissing in pain. Cody frowned and looked at you in alarm. “Let me see if you’re injured!” He exhaled and couldn’t help but smile.
“You should rest. I don’t know how long that patch will last…” You bit your lip and your hand slowly raised to go through his hair.
“Please, Cody. Let me be useful.” His eyes widened and he once again leaned his forehead to yours. A soft touch, an intimate gesture of the culture he was raised in. A quiet plea and the feelings exchange, of all the things he’s like to say but couldn’t. And so he nodded. And let you. He let you step away from him, keeping a safe hand close to you, just in case. He just sat there and let your small, soft hands take his armor off. Slowly, almost afraid as if your moves would bring any harm to him. If only you knew how different it was. How he yearned to feel you touch. To be cared for by you, with that loving touch of yours. “Can I?” He nodded his head, afraid to say anything. Not sure if he would be able to. “Oh, Cody!” You gasped, seeing his bruising ribs. It was impossible for him not to feel pain. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“You were more important.” He murmured, not able to look at you. Such a strong Marshal Commander, unable to look at the woman he… yes, he loved, look in the eyes. What shocked him was how easy it came to him. Losing was like a spur for him to realize his feelings. “If I didn’t take care of me, who would save me like you could?” You blushed and smiled shyly at yourself, opening your bag. You carefully cleaned his bruises and the cuts on his cheek and head, making sure to bring him as little pain as possible. “I was scared I’d lost you out there.” You froze and his words, but stayed quiet, letting him say whatever was weightining on his chest. “I never wanted to hurt you. Never meant to be such a jerk. I…” He finally looked up and your heart broke a bit at his sad expression. It was like a mere memory of his actions that hurt him physically. “I was scared, because you were becoming someone so very important to me in such a short time and… I’m a Marshal Commander.” You apologized quietly when he hissed at one of the head injuries, when you put a patch of bacta there. “I’m… I’m supposed to only have War on my mind and yet here I am… I was so scared, when you laid there, unable to move.” You swallowed hard when he softly circled his fingers around your wrist. He brought your hand towards his lips and left a soft kiss there. A lingering touch, you will dream about when that mission is over. “I got scared when I realized that I cared so deeply for you. Back in the base. When I almost kissed you. You told me that love is when you can’t get someone out of your mind. And I keep on thinking of you all the damn time.” Your breath hitched at his admission.
Your shaky hand lowered to take care of his bruised ribs. And you tried to ignore how he shivered at your touch. And you hoped deep inside, that you had the same effect on him as he did on you. You should be a professional, but here he was, half naked in front of you. You tried to focus on your job, but his words shook you. He just admitted that he was falling for you. You swallowed hard, wanting to say something, do something, but you couldn’t. And so, you just wrapped his torso and ribs safely and looked up at him when you finally finished. Happy to know that there was nothing critical.
“Please don’t say all these things, if you’re going to ignore me, the moment we are back.” He flinched at your declaration, and you felt bad, but you needed to know. Needed to be perfectly sure, that if you let yourself dream, hope, then that won’t just crush after all this is over. “I have loved you for so long, so if you…” But you weren’t given a chance to finish. His lips were on you, before you were able to react. You froze, not sure if you were actually dreaming. His lips were softer than you imagined. It was kind of innocent and sweet, as if he was unsure of himself. When you didn’t move, he stepped back and awkwardly started to apologize, but you didn’t give him a chance. You crushed your lips to his, ignoring how your stomach hurt a bit with those sudden movements. But you didn’t care. You were finally kissing the man you have loved for such a long time.
Cody didn’t waste his time. Calloused, soft hands cupped your face, pulling you forward even more. He tilted his head, deepening the kiss, licking the bottom of your lip asking for permission to enter. And you let him, because who were you to make him wait. And he doesn’t waste that chance. It wasn’t just a kiss. It was a way, a chance to show you how much he adores you. His tongue is gently messaging yours, sensually, taking the time to get to know you.
He pulls away, but doesn’t waste any time, kissing your jaw softly, nipping at it softly, making you gasp softly at his touch. His hands grasp and your waist. Tightly, but enough to hurt you, mindful of your injury. He was so careful with you, so loving. You tilt your head back, wanting more. More of him, more of his warm and hot kisses. You feel him inhaling you and you can’t help but moan softly when he tastes you with his skillful tongue.
“Cody!” You shriek and he laughs, when you playfully pat him on the shoulder when he bit and sucked your pulse spot at your neck, for sure leaving a mark there. “What if someone notices?”
“Let them. They will know who you belong to!” Normally you would never let any man talk to you that way. But with Cody it didn’t feel disrespectful. It was like he was confessing, that at the same time he belonged to you and you almost cried with happiness. “But I have to stop now, cyare.” Your heart skipped a beat with the Mando leaving his mouth. “You are injured and I’m unsure if I would be able to stop myself if we go any further.” He softly kissed your forehead and you blushed at this innuendo. As you were about to say something even remotely flirtatious, a voice could be heard from Cody’s comlink. He quickly turned it on and you felt tears appearing in your eyes when you heard Kenobi’s voice on the other side.
“Cody, report.”
“General!” You could hear the Jedi relaxed sigh on the other side. “You have no idea how good it is to hear you.”
“Are you OK? Is anyone injured?” Your smile dropped and you clenched at your shirt nervously.
“Doc will need medical attention as we had to make do with her injuries.” He held your hand and sighed, readening himself to tell his Jedi the bad news. “It was a trap, Sir. The moment we walked in, the bomb activated. All of my team, including the civilians are gone.” There was silence on the other side. Probably no one expected the news to be so devastating.
“My sincere apologies, my dear. I did realize it was a trap, but…”
“Don’t blame yourself, Obi!” You interjected, hugging into Cody’s (still) bare chest. He raised his brow and you were expecting a similar reaction from the Master on the line as well. It was the first time you said his name like that. “No one could have expected that. We can’t save everyone.” You sniffed softly and Cody, wrapped his arm around you.
“It’s good to hear you”, you smiled when he used your name, instead of the nickname. “You both stay where you are. Rex has traced you, we should be there with two medics to take care of you.” And the line was off and you leaned into Cody, kissing his collarbone softly.
“When we’re back”, he started before Kenobi and the team would come. “I will properly apologize to you.” You frowned, and wanted to deny whatever he thought, but he only kissed you softly at the top of your head and shut you up completely with that sweet move. It was a truly weird feeling. You were so very happy, despite being so devastated at the same time.
***
It took you a whole month of rehabilitation and Kix’ nagging of you staying in bed, before he was remotely OK to let you leave the hospital. Cody was visiting you every day with some sort of a gift. A single flower, a chocolate, a cup of coffee, or a book, you could read to kill the boredom. You both talked, he apologized almost everyday and made sure that he bid you with the sweetest of kisses. You did have a serious talk about where you both saw this going. He promised you that he would do his best to open up to you, but he did ask to give him some time. He never even considered something as stable as a relationship and it was all new to him. And you were more than willing to give him all the time he needed. And so you both decided to take things slow. For the both of you.
So when he didn’t pick you up from the hospital today, you were worried. He was on his leave and he promised he would a week ago. But here you were, walking to your apartment alone. There was this sick feeling in your stomach, which you tried to get rid of. There was probably something holding him up. Something important.
You opened your flat doors and gasped, letting the bag fall from your shoulders to the floor. There he was awkwardly standing, in the middle of the room, with some flowers, a table ready for dinner.
“General Skywalker and Ashoka helped me with it… “ He walked towards you, handing you the flowers. “I’m sorry I didn’t pick you up from the hospital. But I do owe you a first date, don’t I, Cyare?” He leaned forward and pressed a sweet, quick peck on your lips.
“Oh, you are more than forgiven, Commander”.
Tag List: @loving-the-cambridges
#star wars#the clone wars#commander cody#star wars fanfiction#fanfiction#commander cody x reader#cody x you#idiots in love#idiots in denial#the clones#star wars the clone wars
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Lexa and Johnny
Why love is not a weakness after all and how out of all people, a Maelstrom and a Rockerboy found their soulmate in each other.
For the most part of her life Lexa never experienced love at all.
So for a long time she was truly convinced she wasn't even capable of loving. She liked very few people, but she never loved anyone. Not even her family.
Alexandra's father was not a good person towards his children and her sister was just a corpo bitch, so it wasn't a surprise she didn't love them.
But her brother loved Alexandra, his baby sister dearly. And treated her kindly and lovingly. But even him, she just liked. A lot, yes, but it wasn't love.
She also never had a girl- or boyfriend. She didn't want to.
She had needs and she satisfied these needs whenever she wanted. Alexandra was always upfront with the men and women she was interested in, that there are no feelings and she only wanted sex from them. If some of them made the mistake to catch feelings for her she instantly threw them out of her bed and life.
Love was only a weakness in her eyes. Something that made people careless and stupid and gave her enemies (and she had and has a lot) a point to attack.
"Love only puts a huge target on your back and i already have enough of that."
~ Alexandra Shaw (2070)
So she was glad, she wasn't capable of love.
Or so she thought.
The first time she experienced love towards someone, was when she was already with Maelstrom. And it wasn't towards a person. It was towards her cat, Salem.
Salem was a stray cat, who roamed through Northside and for reasons only a cat might understand always hung around near Maelstrom groups. Lexa started feeding him and one day in 2074 he followed her home and never left.
And she was more than happy to keep him. She never felt lonely, but having her fur baby waiting for her to come home and spending time with him added something to her life she didn't know she wanted:
A companion who loved her and who she loved unconditionally.
"Wanna stay home with me, eat a bunch of unhealthy food, cuddle all night and watch bad horror movies?"
"Meow!"
"That's why a love you, baby."
~ Lexa and Salem (2075)
And now she knew that she could indeed love. At least she could love Salem.
But falling in love with a person was still out of the question for her.
She had friendships within Mealstrom. People like Dum Dum who she truly cared about. But she still didn't/couldn't love anyone.
And then she met Johnny.
The first impression was a little awkward (for him) cause Lexa fished Johnny out of the freezer cool Cryo Sci Fi Thing in the Arasaka tower during Mikoshi in 2077.
"Can you walk on your own, Silverhand?"
"Sure!" *breaks down* "Maybe a little help would be good."
*Excessive eye rolling*
~ Johnny and Lexa (Mikoshi 2077)
Johnny, allthough a little more reasonable and calmer since spending time in Vala's head, had still this idea of bringing down Arasaka and every corporation. He still wanted to change things, make them better.
He found in Lexa an ally. Allthough she didn't join him for idealistic reasons, but just because she hated corpos, wanted revenge, especially towards Militech, and simply liked killing them.
But both didn't question the other's motives, cause it simply worked. Not that they achieved huge world changing things, maybe some minor things, but Johnny still tried and Lexa enjoyed the killing.
They were perfect as a Team and they spend a lot of time together.
And both started to fall for each other and also both were very hesitant about their feelings and denied them allthough it was pretty obvious for everyone around them.
"It's obvious for everyone how much you're into him."
"No it's... i'm not!"
"Royce?"
"Ha! It would be less obvious if she just let him fuck her right here on the bar."
"See. And you know Royce has the emotional range of a vending machine."
~ Dum Dum, Lexa and Royce (2079)
Especially Lexa just couldn't let this happen. She felt weird. The first time in her life she felt insecure about something. And worse. She felt insecure about herself. And she hated it, felt weak and pulled back from Johnny.
Allthough Johnny had a lot of doubts, if a relationship with a Maelstrom would be a good idea (they were all unhinged freaks after all, right?), he started to admit to himself that he had feelings for her. He wanted nothing more than to be with Lexa, but he wasn't sure how to handle her.
"I fucked up every relationship in my life. Rogue, Alt... I was a selfish, immature ass. For once i want to make it right. Lexa is worth it. She's worth everything"
~ Johnny Silverhand (2079)
Also he simply knew, if he mistreated her, he probably wouldn't survive it.
Allthough Lexa was more distant, they still did their change the world/ kill the corpos thing.
Johnny always made remarks and left hints about his feelings, texted her at 1AM drunk or sober, how he had to think about her.
She liked that a lot, yet tried not to show him, failed miserably and also wished he would stop, cause it was always a reminder of her own feelings.
One night they had a very brutal and unexpected encounter with some Arasaka guards and she got hurt. Not life threatening, but it was enough to get Johnny basically into full rage mode. She saw him fight and kill for her.
Not for a better world, not for him, his goals or whatever but only for her.
That made her realize that loving someone might be not that much of a weakness, she thought it was.
Later that night, Johnny took care of her wound, which he did before and vise versa, but it was never something intimate until then.
He cared very softly for her wound. It felt more like a lovers touch than anything else. And she enjoyed his touch, being near him.
But then Lexa tried to get out of this situation again. That was just her instinct. But this time Johnny didn't let her. Fully knowing, if she really didn't want to and he overstepped, he would regret it.
"I'm going to kiss you now."
"I'm going to rip you head off, if you do, Silverhand!"
"No, you won't."
~ Johnny & Lexa (2079)
And it was worth the risk, cause he not only kept his head, but she kissed him back. It was a long, slow and passionate kiss. A kiss both waited way too long to finally happen.
Johnny (trying to make things different and right this time) then officially asked her out on a date, which made them both laugh long and hard. But she accepted.
Their first date was a little awkward and way too adorable for two people like them, but they still loved every second of it.
And their second date was all the better.
But that's for another time.
#Cyberpunk 2077#Lexa and Johnny#Virtual Photography#Rosa's OCs: Lexa#Johnny Silverhand#Shippy Saturday#Lexa's Story#Long Text#But with pictures
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COD MWII x Cyberpunk 2077 AU Brainrot
Fandom: Call of Duty
Characters: 141, LV, Graves, Laswell
Notes: cw for graves /lh, perhaps a bit of implied soapghost, bisexual soap, bisexual johnny silverhand, probably ooc but i do what i want ❤️
a/n: inspired by @yeyinde and my midnight-fueled obsession :) I'll probably make a part two to this because it's now my baby. knowledge of Cyberpunk 2077 is recommended because I reference in-universe characters. yes it's very niche, no I don't care.
- set in 2077
- they would all hate Johnny Silverhand. no exceptions.
- Soap's a little sad he shares a name with that fellow bi disaster bastard tho
- in a similar vein, they'd probably not be too fond of River; Price would envy him for his naivety and Gaz sees himself in River
- fanon Rogue and Price would 100% bond over being mother hens to a ragtag group of idiots
- Graves but Meredith Stout
- no questions asked
- the bitch would work for Militech or some other arms corp
- probably Militech because it is very American™ and he's a little yeeyee boy
- i might have Rudy's characterization wrong, but I feel like he'd have started in the NCPD like River
- poor boys only wanted to make the world better but instead Rudy became jaded and is sort of resigned to his job like Han
- Alejandro would be his buddy from Heywood who was always trying to get him to quit the force
- Ghost is probably the most like V in terms of skills and attitude
- but he's not some gonk kid who wants to make it big, he's made it big
- fixers either love him or they hate him
- one of those "going down in a blaze of glory" dudes
- would never work with Dex, though, and is especially relieved he never did after he hears about the Arasaka heist
- Price: veteran, but in a Mitch way and not a 6th street way. I feel like he had the potential to be a fixer, but wanted to try to have a quiet life after the war (Price bbg, there is no such thing as a quiet life in NC)
- is kind of like Takemura in the sense he'd love to run off and join a nomad clan (because fuck this place, honestly)
- but NC is all he knows and he has people he cares about there (read as: poor dude is attached to the 141 boys)
- Johnny (Silverhand) respects him, even if Price wants to rip him a new one every second they're around each other
- he could definitely become a mentor figure to V and would consider joining up with them if they take The Star ending
- honestly, i can still see Laswell working for the NUSA government
- but I'm not sure how we'd get a connection between her and the 141
- fuck logic, Price and Kate are still besties
- Soap and Panam get on like a house on fire
- a propensity for a little rule breaking and an affection harbored for an authority figure (i'll let you decide in what sense) brings them together
- I probably hc Gaz as younger than he actually is, but he gives off baby solo vibes
- brb thinking back to Jackie and V at the food stall outside of H10 and crying about it
- anyways
- Gaz would probably be the most like streetkid V
- bro knows his way around local fixers
- hc that Ghost and Gaz met on a job before Ghost made it big time
- and Ghost is all "I work alone >:(" but they discover that they work well together
- again thinking back to the streetkid intro, albeit Ghost is nowhere near the same as Jackie personality wise
- they probably grew apart after Ghost becomes a solo
- but Ghost is the first one to suggest Gaz when asked to put together a team for a big job (i.e. the heist but it doesn't go sideways)
- and yeah imo that's how c77!141 is put together
- Ghost knows Gaz, Gaz grew up around Price, and Price knows of Soap through the grapevine
- I guess to "convert" each of them into ttrpg factions, Soap is a techie, Ghost is a solo, Price is prolly a fixer, and Gaz might fall under lawman (as a PI or something)
- i am making less and less sense so I'm gonna stop here for now
#kieranwritess cod#kieran's cod au#cod mwii fanfic#cod mw fanfiction#cod mw headcanons#cod hcs#cod mw2 fanfic#i'll probably fix tags later i just don't know what to put for this fandom
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Your Top 5 ships? :3
Hi there, so nice to see you in my inbox again <3
My top 5 ships, hmm? Let's start with the death note ones:
Lawlight: What can I say, enemies to lovers is my favorite. And these two are the best at it, so iconic that they could even be enemies and lovers.
Near/Sayu: Listen, I know these two don't ever meet in canon. But there is something so right about it. Sayu is Light's younger sister, Near can be considered the youngest of L's successors. They both have that younger sibling energy that fits so well together. They can even get together and bitch about their respective older sibling/guardian who are hopelessly stupid in love and then laugh about it too. I ship it.
L/Light/Misa: When two people obsessed with the same person take a look at their love rival and go "huh, I'm impressed at how you chase, we also have a lot in common, how about we get together and enlighten (heh) the one in denial?"
Remisa: Rem is Misa's constant companion and support and I believe if they had been given enough time together, Misa could have come to love and appreciate that too. This is, probably, the healthiest relationship in my ships, given that it's based on a solid foundation (of Gelus's sacrifice), and emotions over time.
A/B: I could have put mellodramatic here. The only reason A and B are here is because, well, they're a mystery with a lot of available fill-in-the-blanks-of-our-love-story. We know A died and B ran away soon after. It leads to conclusion that A mattered so much to B that B could drop everything Wammy's orphanage offered (the private education, the support structure, the connections, the money, a bright future, everything) just because A died. Imo, that takes a lot. A lot. The tragedy of their shrodinger's love story has me place them at fifth place over melodramatic.
Other ships:
I love death note but! I do have ships from other fandom that would be in the top 5 above if it weren't for the fact that most ppl expect to see a death note post on my blog. So, here's other ships below
Naruto and Sasuke (and Sakura): Using an 'and' instead of a slash or a ship name because apparently, the order of the slash is important? I think Naruto and Sasuke have a lot of chemistry and they should get together and elope together away from Konoha lmao. And and and, add Sakura in there. Sakura is determined, driven and obsessive enough to put even the biological Uchiha obsession and Uzumaki energy to shame. She wanted an Uchiha and she got herself an Uchiha, no matter a few literal Gods in her path. They all three deserve each other, to be together and have an happy ever after. Romantic or platonic, I ship them together as a Team <3
Tomarry: No, listen. In Chamber of Secrets, in the book, Harry calls Tom Riddle handsome three times. It's like he took one look at Diary Tom and forgot any word except 'handsome' existed. In Half Blood Prince, when Harry sees the pensive memories, his thoughts about Tom Riddle are all "he's going to grow up to be handsome", "even at this age, he was handsome", "his features were waxy and skin too pale but he was still a handsome man". You see? You get it? All Ginny gets is 'nice skin' and 'nice teeth', Cho Chang gets 'shiny hair'. Tom fucking Riddle gets "so handsome i forget any other word exists oh sorry you were saying Professor Dumbledore?" The movie has a lot of good scenes but it takes away Harry's internal narration that makes me me think he's so gay for Tom Riddle.
Sherliam: I don't know if you've seen Moriarty The Patriot. It's an anime adaptation of the Sherlock books with its own twist. I love it. And the Sherlock/Moriarty (William Moriarty, to be specific) is so blatant. They don't need an on-screen kiss, their chemistry is so good. Sherlock is determined to save William from himself and William is determined to martyr himself to save the world. It's so tender, I can't <3
Wangxian: wei wuxian and lan wanji have such character development, relationship development, such pining and longing and then such shamelessness, I love them. They're relationship goals, once they fix their communication misunderstanding.
#asks#ask for top 5#top 5 ships#there are more 5 haha#death note#harry potter#mdzs#moriarty the patriot#naruto
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Already obsessed with your evil power couple au, separately they are unhinged, but working together they could be 1000 times worst and I love that for them. Marius as PM thinking he's the puppet master but they're manipulating him. Everyone going on about how weak and human Louis is despite his resurrection by Lestat at the end of Merrick surely making him insanely powerful, but keeping the front up so no one knows of realises till its too late for them. Do you have any details your willing to share?
Sure!! This was actually something I was thinking about like a year ago to play with Prince Lestat era, but then I caught 80s Canon Disease and wrote 140k of that. Anyway, I originally imagined it as a political drama, but I actually don't think I'm capable of that plot-wise. At least not of the rather grand plans I had for weaving webs of intrigue.
I've pivoted away from the plotty version to something more intimate and character driven (shocking I know), but everything else is the same. The inspiration for this whole idea was the conversations around the PL trilogy, how ridiculous establishing a monarchy is in the 21st century, how insanely unethical some of the practices are (fledgling labor, the food dungeon, killing "evildoers"), weird vampire oligarchs, etc.
Generally speaking, this is obviously AR being out of her mind and lacking any self or social awareness, but it made me start thinking about, conceptually, what could be done with this whole mess to make it interesting. If we have a Lestat who has decided he's down with being in this position of power, why not lean into the l'etat c'est moi of it all? Let's make him worse but in a fun way!
Lestat may have shitty self esteem, but he loves attention and adoration and material excess. What he doesn't love is logistics, intense political discourse, meetings, and putting in the hours to actually run a government. Fortunately for him, he's married to someone who does bookkeeping for enrichment and wants to be better than everyone else.
Whimpering, unwilling consort Louis is. An unfortunate yet prevalent phenomenon in fic, but I strongly disagree with that characterization. Louis is nothing if pretentious, detail-oriented, and well-versed in taking full advantage of his positions of superiority. He's a bitch and he likes to micromanage. Unethical business practices are his bread and butter.
What Louis does not like however, are lavish parties, large-scale socializing, and all the people-personing that's required to be a prince. This is the perfect situation though. Lestat was MADE to be a charismatic figurehead. He's extroverted, charming, attractive, well-spoken, and he thrives on engaging those qualities. He and Louis both can fill a role they're great at and genuinely enjoy like two halves of a whole.
I fully believe that there's a distinct possibility of them taking to be In Charge like fish to water and immediately becoming power-hungry monsters that feed off each other's awfulness because they're so in love. Maybe alone they would never think to look for a position like this, the siren call of their potential as a team is strong? After all, they deserve this. Who else could be more qualified? Obviously.
I love how so sweet and devoted and married they are in RoA, but imagine that + they are enthusiastic autocrats. Louis is subtle, he operates under the radar and is perfectly content to spend most of his time in the background taking care of the not-so-glamorous things that need to be done.
Over time he manages to completely consolidate power expand his duties to encompass all sorts of neat things like controlling managing the royal treasury and presiding over supervising legal proceedings to Help Out. Isn't that nice of him? Beautiful AND hard working! Look at him filling in for the prince at meetings, that's so sweet! Oh wow, he's rather competent, isn't he?
Lestat, of course, is the charisma (and the brawn). Half of ruling is image and public goodwill after all. When Louis needs support from the court for something or council approval for court finances to be used, Lestat parades around and kisses hands and charms brains out of the necessary parties until he's secured the bag for his man.
Of course, over time more and more people take notice of...something. Maybe Lestat isn't a matured man of the people justly guided by a council of elders after all? And wait, how come if you really follow the paper trail of all the branches of the court, Louis has final say in everything? Shouldn't that be voted on?
Don't worry though, if someone doesn't find all this business agreeable, well. Maybe it would help to remind them just how strong Lestat is. Maybe the strongest vampire in the world. Isn’t it soooo lucky that he's here? Protecting everyone from danger....?
It's a relief you're on his good side, isn't it?
#anyway louis is the puppetmaster not marius#lestat is fully aware and completely on board#he thinks it's hot when louis writes laws that violate the geneva convention#they're eating their political opponents during sex and armand is covering it up#answered#vc#loustat
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I feel like that bernie meme because I am, once again, thinking about Roy/Tim!!(and hoping you're okay with me asking you about them?)
I just can't shut up about these two and I love to hear all of your takes on them <3
what about something like a secret lovers au? where they met when Tim was really young (I'm imagining super early Robin days but if you have any pre-Robin ideas I'd be so fascinated). I feel like Roy would be somewhat skeptical of a third Robin but obviously our boy wins him over. they start a little tryst which maybe started off as just physical attraction but it grows into being even more when they take comfort from each other after long missions and bitch about JL together. I feel like they'd be kind of on and off through the years (ugh the reunion sex is >>>>)
and at some point they don't even bother to hide it. they go to each other's apartments and team up and maybe even fuck in the manor and at WE?
but no one catches on for an absurd amount of time after they decided they're really in this
maybe the others find out when Tim gets pregnant? or maybe it all gets out when they find the two necking in a closet or something idk the possibilities are endless and all so satisfying
hope you're doing well!! xx
YES YES YESYETS ETS YES YESYES!!!!1 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😩😩😩😩😩🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
i would never turn away a roytim ask because I do truly love the ship!!! it's a shame there's so few fics about it and ive never been able to come up with a cohesive plot for them. outside of the bats roy is my favorite to pair tim with!!! (yes that includes kon they're really great together but roytim just carries that wonderful forbiddenness that makes it so much more interesting!)
I love the concept of roy meeting tim when he's robin but can also see them meeting prerobin. tims the neighbor and all bug houses look alive so maybe roy stumbles through the gates the first time he's visiting dick's house and knocks on the door only to be greeted by a chubby cheeked little kid who tilts his head up at tim.
roy figures out pretty quickly he’s got the wrong house and scurries away while a baby closed the door.
years later roy catches wind of a new robin and well....roy's not sure what he feels. a lot of the original titans had all felt that there was no replacing the original when the second robin (the few times they met roy had the kid's back and the kid always shot him that grateful grin so it's not like roy was opposed to having him around) came on the scene but after the kid was murdered...
well it seemed in poor taste to hold on so ardently to a mantle that wasn't even theirs. plus roy has other shit going on, personal shit so he's not very concerned with a gotham newbie. so roy is fine with the kid. maybe a bit weary like he is about all new heroes because they have a tendency of coming on all cocky before getting pounded down to size pretty quickly.
roy hears a few things through the grapevine and rumor mill. the few times he and wally cross paths and meet they catch and wally tells him about dick's new kiddie brother.
"real sweet if a bit skittish" wally tells him and that's all roy tells him.
roy learns everything second hand about the third robin. the first time he talks to him is when he seeks him out. word on the street is the kid is quite the whiz at detective work. like a mini-batman.
that's the only thing that puts roy off form seeking him out immediatly. it's only when he's got nowhere else to turn that he goes to him.
he and ollie are on the outs.
dick is a dick.
no way is he fucking going to batman.
but he needs someone with a finger to the pulse of gotham crime because he has a few people he's looking for that might've fled to the famed city of the bat.
the third robin is...surprisingly easy to work with.
within the day roy has a location on his three targets and all he had to do was swear he wouldn't rough them up too badly.
roy knows he doesn't have the best reputation in the community. knows that some of the more 'straight-laced' heroes look down on him completely for the drugs and the having a kid and being a single dad thing.
he sure as shit knows ollie doesn't brag about him at parties.
he and dick haven't gotten on for awhile. they used to be so close with the whole 'only titans without powers' thing. but puberty and adulthood changed both of them and roy will admit the two of them are quite prideful so an apology is not visible on the horizon. but they can still work together even with the bit of tension between them.
roy knows for a fact the bat would never approve of him working or asking his robin for help so roy is grateful when the kid agrees to keep it under wraps in exchange for dinner.
roy buys the kid takeout and watches as he munches on an eggroll and prints out a stack of surveillance photos and the current location of his target.
it's nice company. roy hasn't had that in awhile. the kid doesn't talk down to roy or treat him like a moron. they had a pretty great conversation about some of the alien tech the bozos roy is hunting got their hands on.
roy lets the kid hold his bow. his swallows a mouthful of shrimp fried rice as small gloved hands delicately stroke the metal wire of his bow and the small, almost invisible bolts that hold it together.
he's a sweet kid. like wally said.
roy decides he likes him when the kid helps him tie up his guys and throw them in the back of a rented van.
maybe one meeting isn't enough to judge someone's character and roy doesn't have a history of good judgement. but he likes the kid.
he's earnest and honest and a bit of a do-gooder, the kind that isn't annoying.
so roy likes him.
the next time roy has a something that crosses close to gotham's borders he calls robin.
he needs a second opinion on some alien tech?
call robin. oh he can't help with that? that's fine robin knows some people, he'll call in a favor.
robin does that a lot. favors for roy.
roy almost feels bad, feels like he's taking advantage of the kid. he tries his best to repay it. food, and some little souvenirs when he has work overseas.
the kid grins and happily accepts it like it's anything compared to the time roy desperately needed a sitter and robin offered to stay a few hours in the city to watch the kid.
maybe it was a testament to how much robin had squirmed his way into roy's good graces since he didn't even hesitate to leave his sleeping daughter in the other vigilante's care.
something he didn't even do with people he's known for years.
roy's not quite sure when they transition to something more.
maybe its after roy's settling into a new apartment waiting for robin to come pick up some info about movements on the gotham mob roy had stumbled across. lian is at daycare and roy's just in some boxers with all the windows cracked open and his stereo blastic profanity-laced music he never plays when lian's little ears could hear it.
warm summer is wafting in along with a cool breeze when his doorbell rings and at first roy thinks its the pizza he ordered ten minutes ago.
but he opens the door to a civilian clad robin wearing thick sunglasses to obscure his eyes.
his shirt is one of the metal bands roy hasn't listened to in years and his pants are dark-washed jeans with white crew socks visible at the ankles.
it's such a casual encounter. it's one they've had multiple times before.
there's some traffic on the street and the sound of beeping car horns fill roy's eyes as a presents a flash drive of everything he collected.
roy is explaining what he saw and how he came across the info when he feels robin's eyes on him.
of course robin is listening to him speak and ergo looking at him but roy can just feel the weight of the stare on his bare chest scattered with red chest hairs and a nice thick happy trail that led into his boxers.
his scars are visible all along his torso along with the scattering of tattoos his uniform usually covers. lian's name is printed in gothic script right over his heart.
but that's not what robin's eyes are on.
roy feels a burning gaze locked on his prominent package. roy can see the shy blush that stretch to the kid's ears and trails off as a wide grin creeps across his face.
oh to be fourteen again and in the midst of puberty.
roy had just meant some honest ribbing, a bit of harmless flirting.
robin blushed so pretty. the vigilante who usually spoke so clearly and concisely with a slight undertone of demand was now stuttering as roy leaned in closer and trapped him against the countertop with his half naked body.
roy wasn't certain when the line blurred.
he always knew he was a scumbag. but he really solidified that by banging a teenager on the couch of his apartment.
roy at least had the mindset to use a condom as he fucked into a tight little pussy as robin scrambled to cling onto him.
gasped 'ahh hnnn mmnnn' sounds floated into roy's ears as he grunted with every thrust into that cunt.
roy gripped hips hard enough to bruise and tugged robin's sweet little cunt down onto his cock as he groaned.
his fingers mercilessly abused a little red throbbing clit, thumbing it and rubbing out a nice orgasm for the kid who ended up losing their virginity on a ratty couch in a ratty apartment to a scumbag hero who apparently now fucked teenagers.
roy has beaten the shit out of men who did what he did as he waved robin goodbye when he left his apartment, flash drive in hand.
a man in their twenties creeping on kids barely into highschool is a huge no-no. ask anyone with a cape and they'd tell you the same thing.
roy likes the kid, he really does. not enough to risk fucking jail time or getting the shit beat out of him by dick or batman or any horrifying combination of the two.
robin is lowkey. he promises to keep this a secret without roy having to ask even though he was working on it and it -whew- wow it makes him feel like a piece of shit.
roy pushes it out of his mind. tries to bury it alongside the mountain of mistakes that weigh on him because how fucking like him. to fuck up a perfectly decent burdgeoning partnership.
roy doesn't avoid robin. not exactly.
he just becomes more of a last resort. and roy would like to say he buried what they did that day in the back of his mind but it...rears up sometimes.
late at night when roy is alone and a little horny. he tries to use por as much as he can but the memory...fuck the memory of that hot vice of a cunt. the way robin had squirmed under him, little tits turning red with the abuse of roy sucking on them harshly.
robin had a sweet body and his fit perfectly in roy's arms as he pinned him down and fucked into him.
it's a few months later they get a repeat.
aliens. fucking aliens. it's always fucking aliens that property damage skyrockets.
roy's just at one of the reserve camps awaiting to be directed or deployed to clean up crew, med evac, civilian evac. the entire crew of YJ is there and one by one they all get called away until its just him and robin -now tim, roy now has a name for that face that greets him on lonely nights.
roy knows he's staring, eyes lingering. tim turns to look at him, eyes as heavy and interested as they were that night.
roy comforts himself with the fact that its not teenagers he has a thing for. just tim. tim and his tight body and hot cunt. and tim just so happens to be a teenager.
thankfully for roy tim happens to have a thing for roy too. roy and his big dick and happy trail that presses flush to tim's reddened cunt as roy's cock splits him over while bending him over a counter.
it's a fast fuck. just a quickie. ten minutes later while they're cleaning themselves up tim gets called away.
he turns, steps already marhcing him out the door before he stops for a moment turns and says-
"you have my number, right?"
roy swallows thickly and nods.
"good."
then he's back to marching and that's as much permission to be a full blown sleaze as roy needs.
roy will admit, with only some shame, that he is definitly the kind of guy to send dick pics without hesitation once asked.
and tim doesn't even have to ask.
it's been so long since roy's been so fucking horny for someone that reciprocated it. and tim, well tim is definitely getting some hot, stringless sex out of it too.
roy will be alone in a city on a job. he'll tug his cock out and jack it to hardness before snapping a pic and sending it to tim.
'miss u' he writes. like a fucking douchebag he's been told. 'do u miss me?'
tim replies back in the affirmative and roy instantly starts borderline begging, asking for tim to send him a little something his cock is fucking hard and it hurts pretty baby. it hurts so bad :/.
tim sends back a picture of his tank top pushed up with his cute little tits on display.
'Feel better now?' he replies and roy tightens his grip on his cock as he types with one hand.
'maybe a little more bby'
a minute later and roy groans as he's greeted by the sight of two of tim's fingers spreading open the lips of his cunt to expose his wonderfully wet pussy.
'thank u bby'
and roy pumps his cock until he's arching off and moaning into his empty hotel room.
tim's nude game is other worldly. it's almost artistic with the composition and the lighting. tim's cunt should be in a fucking art gallery.
sometimes he sends roy pictures of him in his underwear, some of him in bed groping his tit and fucking fingers into his hole.
one time he sends roy a one minute video of him fucking himself on a glass rob dildo, pumping it into his red little cunt while making the sweetest fucking moans in the world.
roy spends the day inside just jacking off until his cock sputtered pathetically.
the next time roy is in new jersey he makes a pit stop in gotham. tim's parents are out of town and for the first time roy sees his room. though he's not able to appreciate the blade runner posters, comic book collection, and mountain of laundry on a spare chair until the next morning.
tim is naked and half asleep even as he grinds his cunt onto roy's bare cock. and nope, roy's learnt his lesson from that.
" i am on birth control you know." tim tells him as roy stops nibbling on his tit to pull on a fresh condom.
roy just grins down at him and nuzzles his neck, kissing away his pout.
"baby if any boy ever tells you its okay if he doesn't use a condom just because you're on birth control i want you to turn his nutsack inside out."
tim lets out a half chocked laugh that turns into a moan as roy rubs a thumb against his clit and fucks into him.
it becomes habit for them to hook up.
roy's amazed they manage to get away with it. sometimes they meet in gotham. other times tim goes to meet roy wherever he is.
they don't always work out though. sometimes roy gets his life together and manages to get a steady girlfriend.
sometimes other people (better people) notice tim and he's taken off the market too.
but love is cruel to them and even to tim who roy honestly believe deserves better than to have rebound sex with him.
but tim loves it and so does roy. and being able to explore each other's bodies, and feel out new scars and new tattoos is just a different kind of intense.
roy misses the way tim's pussy parts for him when he slowly pushes in, misses his gasps and sweet coos as roy fucks him hard and fast.
tim makes a sight for sore eyes on his knees and pawing at roy's jock to get access to his cock to take into his mouth. and tim has the sweetest tasting pussy that roy's ever eaten. he moans between his spread thighs as he fucks his tongue into that well-loved hot little hole.
life sucks but there's always good sex to make you feel better.
roy's not saying their relationship is easy but it's one that they never stress over because they never define what they are.
but they get along. they like the same things, and dislike the same people. they wish each other the best and try to keep things from souring between them.
in many ways each other is the only one they can turn to. keeping a secret between them tends to draw them together and forage an odd bond between them.
roy and dick reconcile at some point and roy feels a little guilty at the fact that he's fucking the guy's baby brother behind his back. but not enough to actually tell him (roy would like to keep all his teeth thank you very much).
and roy likes tim so he's more than a little ticked off when he hears about things growing sour in gotham.
he and tim's physical relations have waned a bit. prometheus's bombs in star city landed lian in the hospital with a coma and roy hadn't been in the right place to be around...anyone.
in that time things go pretty shittily for tim too. roy wonders if its too late to send a card but then bludhaven explodes and the memory of star city and lian just send him right back to the bad place.
even if he could reach out. roy was sure tim wasn't doing well enough to support them both.
roy has beef the JL it's something that grows hot and fierce when he hears whispers about robin- now red robin- having gone off the deep end.
the source? his own brother, nightwing- now batman.
there's a new robin in gotham and roy is...fuck he's not sure what he feels. it's not his place. not his fight. not his family.
lian is out of her coma and in for a long recovery with having to relearn how to walk, how to read, how to fucking speak.
the next time roy raises his head out his ostrich hole, cheering lian on as she takes her first unassisted steps, it's to the sound of a newly reinstated batman.
roy's too far away to know the details and hear everything going on. but that doesn't stop the simmer of pride that erupts in his chest.
he always believed in the pretty baby.
lian starts making leaps in her recovery and roy is not about to depend on outside help for his daughter so starts taking high paying jobs to pay for all of lian's rehab.
oh there was a poor taste 'like father like daughter' joke in there somewhere and roy knew he was going to be drawing blood from the first person who made them.
roy crosses paths with a "reformed" jason todd aka red hood.
roy knows about him from titan's tower. his opinion would be lower of him if the two of them didn't get on like a house on fire. roy works some jobs with him, exchanges stories, and builds up a nice friendship. roy's daughter is a safe topic, jason's got a soft spot for kids. but with kids comes family talk and both roy and jason could find kindred spirits in being estranged.
they share similar grievances.
they even share simialr issues with dick's...dickishness.
"you lucked out with tim at least though."
and roy feels the tension before he sees it. it's a dangerous path to treat, talking about tim who is a stand up guy because he is to the guy who sees him as a replacement but jason surprises both of them when he says-
"i haven't exactly been the...best guy to the kid."
roy knows its not his place. knows that he has no right to interfere with anything relating to tim's family and personal life because that's crossing a pretty firm boundary but then he thinks of tim. of that new robin and the fact that he spent a year being ostracized by nearly every hero.
so roy...just tells jason the truth. about how tim's understanding. how he's all 'do no harm but take no shit'. he's straight-laced but surprisingly bendy (in more than one way but roy doesn't say that) willing to work with you. i mean he helped roy out a tight spot a few times.
roy doesn't mention the sex. probably not a good idea to tell that to somone who'd probably blast his dick off if he found out that grown man roy harper fucked a pink-cheeked fourteen-year-old robin.
roy and tim's reunion is...a nice one. roy's in gotham to take lian to a specialist appointment. he meets tim in the cafeteria. they both stumble to a stop at the sight of each other.
roy tells him why he's there and tim's there for outreach purposes, WE work.
they have coffee. chat a little. nudge smiles and small laughs out of each other. speak in code so they can bitch about and roll their eyes about the justice league.
roy is in gotham for the week. he meets up with jason a handful of time and jason takes lian to some new park constructed in crime alley for the kids.
roy texts tim while he's gone, keeping the conversation they had at the hospital going.
roy's emotions have been rubbed raw for awhile. he hasn't been intimate with anyone for over a year.
tim is in the same boat.
the sex they have is different then the rushed frantic fucking where they sought their own pleasure.
he and tim spend quite a few minutes kissing on roy's hotel room bed. roy feels out tim's body, groping and squeezing and feeling his flesh as tim does the same.
they don't peel their clothes off in some sexy little strip tease like the ones roy jokingly did for tim.
their clothes stay mostly on aside from roy unzipping and pushing down his pants and tim doing the same with his slacks. they hold each other, wrapping hands around each other's backs in a deep hug while they softly kiss and roy fucks tim slowly.
tim rocks on his cock, occasionally pulling away from the kiss to let out a soft moan and rock his hips back in time with roy's thrusts.
they both cum quietly just two silent gasps and tensed shoulders followed by some trembling as they went slack.
they've both had a...hell of a time.
it felt nice, felt safe to go back to something they knew. to something they liked.
a half an hour later and its like a switch has flipped and roy doesn't know what to grab or fondle first as tim desperately moans on top of him, whipping his hips back and forth as he rides roy. tim sinks down on him with thick, wet, 'squelches', gasping and moaning as roy holds ontol his hips and tugs him down onto his cock.
it's desperate, it's hot, it's so fucking good.
roy almost limps on his way to pick up lian, his cock is fucking spent because tim's pussy could knock a god out.
jason stares at him with a raised brow before rolling his eyes and handing a giggling lian back over to him.
lian waves good bye with a happy 'bye uncle jason!'.
lian goes to her appointments, tim stops by for coffee and then roy takes them both out for ice cream afterwards.
the night roy is leaving the city tim texts him to meet on the hotel roof where red robin gives him a wonderful goodbye present.
roy has no idea who taught tim how to do that thing with his tongue but he will forever be grateful.
he and tim start texting agian. not as much photo exchange goes on like it did in the beginning. tim directs him to high-paying jobs that will keep him close to lian. tim asks about lian, about her recovery and how she's doing. what she liked.
a few days later packages with lian's favorite candies and flowers show up along with a little stuffed bird robin which accompanies her on her phsical therapy.
roy is probably toeing a very dangerous line. maybe for everyone else it would've been better if it was just sex. but now roy feels something.
he feels happy when he sees a text from tim. is excited to see him because he wants to know how he is.
a physical affair is one thing. roy gets the shit beat out of him for having one with tim and everyone moves on.
an emotional affair is a whole different ball park.
roy's hardly had a healthy relationship before in his life. he has...baggage. he has a kid. and tim is...fuck tim is still so young.
he has a whole life ahead of him and roy and...whatever they are would just be dead wight.
tim disagrees.
it's one of the first arguments they both have. tim insisting that he can make his own choices and mistakes and he whole heartedly believes that roy is nothing close to resembling a mistake.
roy tells him about the issues with all of this. how they started this when tim was just a kid and that was wrong, he knows that was wrong and out of everything he does regret doing that. but tim doesn't yield.
he tells roy what he feels. and they're all the things that roy feels. that happiness at the mention of him, that fluttery feeling in his gut when he sees him, that excitement when he talks to him.
tim likes roy just as he is. wants roys just as he is.
does roy want him too?
and maybe roy is selfish to snatch tim up when someone so much better could come along but....dammit roy wants to be selfish.
they don't sneak around like they used to.
tim refuses to sneak around with roy. he says it makes him feel like he should be ashamed of roy.
and he'd never be ashamed of being with roy.
they don't...explicitly tell anyone.
really everyone else kind of just assumes stuff about them.
if anyone sees them in gotham together they just assume roy is present for some jason related reason. when tim is seen in star city its gotta be for a case, right?
lian has her own room in tim's penthouse apartment. roy keeps his favorite brand of coffee beans and his toothbrush is in a cup beside tim's in his bathroom.
on christmas, a part is held at wayne manor and roy, pretty clearly, kisses tim under the mistletoe in front of several heroes.
more than a dozen people see tim lead roy up the stairs to his old bedroom.
tim is...fuck tim is roy's best relationship he's had so far. it's like a light of realization fills him and he thinks 'oh. this is what this is supposed to be like!'
roy and tim build something together. a nice little life. one with peace and support and love.
tim is one of the emergency contacts on lian's medical and school forms.
roy and red robin frequently team up outside of their respective cities. they have each other's backs. always.
both jason and dick tell roy they it's nice he gets along so well with their brother and part of roy burns to tell them that it's not just that.
roy's not sure how they could be more obvious.
they're definitely not hiding it or subverting it or trying to frame it as something with plausible deniability.
it's pretty obvious he and tim are together. even more obvious that they're fucking.
roy once read something about people being willfully blind or dense about things they didn't want to learn and honestly thinks that must be the case.
however not a single shred of doubt remains when tim tells his family and friends that he's pregnant.
at some point he and tim had stopped using condoms. they weren't exactly looking to get pregnant but wouldn't be against it if they did.
it's several months of roy fucking tim raw before it manages takes.
bruce stares at tim who is cutting up grapes for lian.
dick choked on the bite of a pear he took and is trying to clear his throat.
alfred is frozen where he's drying a plate.
damian is staring and jason shares his incredulous expresson.
the only one absolutely bursting with joy is lian.
"i'm gunna be a big sister?!"
that's when eyes fill with something. dots are connected, realizations are had, situations they'd walked in on now have new context.
"you fucked tim?" dick asked dangerously. "you got my little brother pregnant?"
roy is strategically placed beside tim who would absolutely never let anything happen to his sweet love and baby daddy.
"been fucking for years dick, keep up."
tim is newly 18. newly legal. now it's not just dick's eyes that are locked on roy like they're homing missiles.
okay so maybe his baby mama would let something happen to him.
in the end tim does protect him even with eyes and glares narrowed on him.
dick is muttering and glaring somehow stuck between a weird in between of celebratory for tim's pregnancy, indignance at the father, and indignance at tim being pregnant at 18.
jason, because he's roy's dearest friend and wants him to be happy, contents himself with a deep punch to the gut that leaves roy dry heaving over the toilet for half an hour.
bruce is not so easily swayed. roy knows bat are nosy but he learns exactly how much when batman posts enlarged photos of the nudes he and tim exchanged years ago, but some are more recent.
"how old were you here?" batman asks tensely.
tim raises a brow and asks if bruce really looked at his nudes and chat history with roy.
the rest of the family is staring up at the photos with gapes mouthes.
batman and tim get into an argument and the minute the word 'fourteen' slips out, jason is cocking his gun and pointing it at roy.
"well it really was nice knowing you, i don't say that to a lot of people just so you know."
tim slaps jason's arm but doesn't manage to stop the punch that dick threw that broke roy's nose.
the bats glare at roy as tim fusses over him in the medbay and throws occasional glares over his shoulder at dick who looks like he's wilting further with every look.
tim is a good talker. a better one than roy and within the hour roy's nose is splinted and bandaged and hazy with the fresh apologies from tim's brother's ringing in his ears.
now tim is a genuinely nice person. that doesn't mean he's not petty.
no one looks at them during breakfast after a night of being forced to listen to tim's cries as roy 'disrespected' tim in every possible way tim could think of.
now tim was a very smart person. so there were a lot.
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I've been re-reading in that iron ground and I was wondering if you could tell us more about Michael and Max's relationship. How did Michael react at first when Danny told him? When did he even tell him? Because Michael only started working with Daniel in 2018, so they would have been together already, no? How does Daniel feel about Michael not liking Max? Also, does Blake have a better relationship with Max? Sorry I just have a lot of questions 😅
it makes me so happy to hear that people read my stuff multiple times, and such an angst heavy fic, anon i am so flattered<3
under cut incase it gets long
so i think daniel definitley told michael pretty early on in his and max's realtionship,or maybe even before as like a 'oh shit, i think i have the hots for my teammate, help mate,' kinda thing. So michael has known for a long, long time.
and i think in the begining, he rolled his eyes, like, 'typical Danny, wants what he can't have, this is never going to last,' so he bullied daniel relentlessly for fancying an 18 year old but other than that was like, whatever, he can do what he wants.
but then max stuck around.
and michael was mostly just irritated by him when he had to hang around him, because he saw max as this annoying kid tagging along to holidays, hiking trips and clubbing nights, but as you pointed out, he didnt have to be around max all that often until michael joined redbull. which was also the year that daniel had like, the worst time. and as a protective and loyal friend, i think michael blamed max (rightly or wrongly) as the source of that unhappiness, bc max was the new number one that redbull were pushing his bestie out for.
and then when daniel told micheal he was leaving redbull.... well i honestly think thats what sparked michaels out and out hatred for max. because daniel would have been honest with michael at least i think, and said that part of the reason he was leaving was for himself, but also maybe to preserve his and max's relationship because, 'i'm not losing my boyfriend as well as my spot as number one driver.' like daniel was realistic and could see that max was favoured, but also knew that if he stayed to be number two, he would start to resent him for that. at least at a different team, he could be number one still, even in a worse car (honestly, rip renault daniel, my beloved).
so michael ran with this idea of like: max as this kid who manage to SEDUCE my best friend and convinced him with his magic ass to leave the team!!!!!
and then michael was just a huge cunt to max after this, maybe made little digs evertime they were around each other. honestly, i love the bitchy michael narrative, so i can imagine something where they're in a room together alone for the first time after max's title (michael has come for training and daniel is in the bathroom, idk) and michael is like, 'congrats on the title, but you know that would have been daniel if you hadn't come along.' and max would be like, '?? it can still be daniel now, next year,' bc he has unwavering faith in his mans driving abilities, but michael thinks this is him being purposley dense or mocking bc like no mclaren is winning lol and says like, 'god you really are a fucking cunt, you know that?' which daniel hears on the way back from the bathroom and is like, 'woah, mikey, talk to my boyfriend like that again and i'll have to put you out on ur arse, you know that right?'
max i think mostly just has absolutely no time for haters, so matches michaels energy to a tee lol. like maybe at first, when hes younger, he tries hard to get michael to like him, but once its clear thats not working he's like, 'you want a bitch, i'll show you a bitch :)' and then proceeds to just glare at him lol
they make each others (and daniel's) lives difficult to say the least
#in that iron ground#thank you anon this made my evening!#also this is stopping me posting the kinda weird fic i wanna post lol so#you saved the day!#ask me things
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Why Rachel King from House of Ashes is actually an amazing character
First off: It's completely okay if you don't like Rachel! Different people are drawn to different characters. Nobody is forced to like a character they simply don't vibe with. This is just my view of a character who I personally think is both overhated and underrated. More under the cut.
I want to preface this by saying that I believe every choice a character can make is, in at least one universe, canon for that character. This often hurts to think about, since there are a lot of choices that feel very ooc, but in my opinion, they wouldn't even be an option if they truly didn't fit at least one tiny part in a character's personality. But now let's talk about Rachel.
Many people see her as the "Queen Bitch" and nothing more. And to be fair, that's definitely what she's going for. She wears this nickname "like a fucking badge of honor," as she can reveal to Clarice. But why? Why would she like to be known as the Queen Bitch?
The reason is simple and revealed in the same conversation: "You think I got where I am with a soft word and a warm smile?" (No. Of course not.) "I had to graft to get here. [...] They have no idea the shithill I've climbed to just get where I am right now."
I can't even begin to explain how incredibely sad this actually is. Rachel had to become the Queen Bitch because she wouldn't have been taken seriously otherwise. As a woman in the military, being soft and warm simply wasn't an option. Characters like Merwin already make sexist jokes about women – imagine how he would've treated Rachel if she wouldn't have established her status, but tried to treat him nicely instead. The only way Rachel could find respect was by becoming the Queen Bitch. She put on a mask (quite similar to Jason, actually) and eventually, the mask became a crucial part of her personality.
But that's not all. The "shithill" she climbed? This is likely the amount of knowledge she had to gather in order to become the leader of her group. She can speak Arabic, which is one of the most difficult languages to learn. She possesses great historical knowledge, being able to easily recognize stuff like Pagan effigies, a Pazuzu statue and Sumerian cuneiform. Eric sums it up nicely: She's quite an expert on history.
But do you know what's the most baffling thing about all of this? Rachel is the only character who possesses these abilities. No one else in her team can speak or understand Arabic. Nick flat-out admits that he fluked history in school. And the very noteworthy thing about this is the fact that the rest of Rachel's group are all men. To me, it seems like Rachel, because she's a woman, had to prove herself more than the men had to, and gather a lot more knowledge in a lot more areas. This also explains why she's so protective over her status, since she worked her ass off in order to earn it.
"But," I hear some of you say, "she cheated on Eric! And she can shoot Salim! And she says bullshit like 'I was stronger than them all'!"
Okay, let's start with the cheating first. You know, on the one hand, I absolutely hate cheating (I mean, if you get together with someone who cheats on their partner, how can you expect them to be loyal to you?), but on the other hand, Rachel's situation is a little different than a lot of other cheating scenarios I've encountered. She didn't see Eric for a full year, their marriage basically only existed on paper. Rachel was ready to move on. And your heart doesn't choose whom to fall in love with. To Rachel, it probably didn't even feel like cheating, considering how long she has been separated from Eric. Out of sight, out of mind. No, it does not excuse her actions, but for me, it does make it more understandable. Plus, it's something she eventually overcomes, choosing either Eric, Nick, or neither, so I can't be too mad at her about that.
I'm always surprised when people bring up Rachel shooting Salim though, since it takes a lot of set-up. If you dislike a character for doing something in a super obscure path that requires multiple specific choices across the entire game, shouldn't you also dislike a character like Jason, who is only two choices away from leaving Salim behind to die? Not to mention, this path also requires Jason to shoot an innocent shepherd who did absolutely nothing to him. Yet, I haven't seen anyone hating him for that. Personally, I can totally understand why Rachel, after she lost her husband to an enemy soldier, would want to avenge him; even in the path where she and Eric didn't get along, Salim robbed them of the chance of changing that. And in the path where they did get along ... she just lost the love of her life. I think a lot of people would be pretty vengeful after that. Not to mention, Salim's situation does look very shady, first killing Eric and then returning without Jason. Who wouldn't suspect that he had something to do with his death?
Some people also complain that Rachel doesn't want to give Salim a gun even if you make the best choices. But I think many people forget that Rachel and Salim almost had no interactions with each other, and certainly didn't have time to establish a trustworthy bond. Jason himself doesn't trust Salim with a gun in their determinant second-ish meeting, after Salim surrenders to him when Eric is already dead. Unlike Rachel, he can change his opinion, but only because he actually got to know Salim - Rachel, however, didn't. Of course she doesn't trust him with a gun. In the midst of war, you probably wouldn't want to give your enemy a weapon, either.
Rachel's line how she was "stronger than them all" is ... quite awful, tbh. No matter if she means her fellow comrades or the vampires, she definitely didn't do as much as the others. But while I do think that the line is pretty bad and while I do wish it wouldn't be the last thing we ever heard from her, here's the thing: I don't want to judge characters by a single line they said. People say questionable stuff all the time, both in real life and in fictional stories. But judging them solely based on one weak moment? Not something I want to do, so that line didn't influence my opinion on her character.
This brings me to Rachel's compassionate, heroic side – a side of hers that is frequently forgotten. In general, she can show her nicer side to people that are on the same level as her - most notably, Clarice and Eric. They are people where Rachel doesn't have to worry that they'll suddenly start to treat her like a lesser being for being more than the "Queen Bitch", so she feels more comfortable opening up to them.
Her compassionate side is shown first during the raid, I believe, where it's very important to her that Jason doesn't kill any innocent civilians. She herself can shoot one of them, but she doesn't do it out of fun, but to protect Jason from an attacking shepherd.
A few chapters later, there's the Rope Scene. Originally, Rachel was supposed to cut herself free in the Theatrical Cut if her relationship with Eric was high enough, but due to an earlier scene being cut, this is not possible anymore; instead, she can cut the rope in the Curator's Cut regardless of relationship. This is the first difficult choice she has to make: Potentially sacrificing her life in order to save Eric. It's an action that takes an incredible amount of courage, so I really appreciate that it is a choice that Rachel can make.
The next time we see Rachel, she's in the bloody pit, escaping from a vampire and meeting Clarice. I already talked about how Rachel can show her compassionate side here, potentially opening up to Clarice. But what I love the most is the fact that Rachel is very firm when it comes to helping her. Of course, she can also choose to leave Clarice behind, but it's very notable that once she was brought back, Rachel constantly insists that she needs help and shouldn't be abandoned. I really appreciate her loyalty here, since she's pretty much the only character who is on Clarice's side, the only one who doesn't want to give up on her. While helping her sadly doesn't work (which Rachel eventually realizes), I love Rachel for being the only one who at least wants to try.
When it comes to awesome scenes, Rachel and the machine gun come to mind, but my actual favorite scene takes place a few chapters later. When Rachel's infection threatens to overwhelm her and she has the option to kill herself with WP. She's only the second character in the anthology who can make the intentional decision to kill herself. In her case, she does it to protect the others – which is such a heroic choice that I'm surprised not more people mention it. Jason can also sort-of get infected, but he never seems to be worried about turning into a vampire; Rachel however does worry, and can choose a rather horrifying death to stop herself from potentially harming the others.
And it doesn't stop there. If she doesn't use WP (or simply doesn't have it), she can still beg Jason to shoot her in order to avoid turning. And if he doesn't shoot her, she can still volunteer to be cocooned, not knowing if the others will actually come back for her. Of course, she can also choose the opposite of these decisions - but I think that's more than understandable. Who would want to die a horrible death or live forever in a cocoon? Hopefully nobody. Which makes it even more awesome that Rachel has the choice to do so.
I wouldn't say that Rachel is my favorite character, btw. She can be a little too abrasive at times and her character revolves a little too much around finding a love interest. But she's still a brave, strong woman – and, in my opinion, one of the most underrated characters in the anthology.
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Watching the Operation Raccoon City trailer again and...
"No time for samples, Four Eyes!" she could have gotten it from anywhere, Four Eyes chooses THE MOUTH
Four Eyes not even phased about the rest of the team running past hunting cops
Spec Ops hearing gunfire and their first stupid fucking thought "Civvies :)" Like, what??
...ok, killing the Licker with nothing but a knife actually is talent. Not bad, Spec Ops. Not bad. And the 'all clear' after; you don't know that, you have checked one hallway.
Lickers are best boys I love them. <3
Beltway is from Puerto Rico according to his bio. He sounds... Bostonian?? Or something, idk, accents aren't something I'm great with BUT. he sounds like he's from the North East somewhere.
Also I love how he sets up the mine and is just so fucking happy like "Boooom :)" What a lad.
Spectre... maybe... be good at shit.... be better?
The cop looking back at his friend, distracted, GETS BLOWN UP
BERTHA JUST RUNNING FROM THE SIDE WITH HER FUCKING MACHETE. YOU HAVE A GUN. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS.
But also damn that was some FORCE you put into that swing. The ready to swing again, realizing the machete is STUCK in the car, having to push with her foot to get it out. Love it.
Vector vaults over the rail to jump down into the garage
Lupo vaults over the rail to jump down into the garage
Bertha takes the stairs.
Vector's voice. Yes. Thank you. Purr growl into my ear sir. ^///^
Lupo growling at him. Yes. Thank you. See above statement. ^///^
The closest zombie, then the screen goes dark, then the gunshots light it back up. A very quick moment, but amazing.
Team dealing with a swarm of zombies; IMMEDIATELY FUCK OFF FROM THAT TO CHASE A COP. Very goal oriented. Icons. Love to see it.
Spec Ops hearing gunshots. See the cop running FOR HIS LIFE. just "maybe not civvies??? not sure??" literally Vector has to stealth over and make threats for them to be like "oooooooh. maybe this is dangerous :)" Special babies. Please. PLEASE.
If I ever make another side blog for the Spec Ops team I want you all to know they will all be himbos. ALL OF THEM. Bitch I didn't stutter. Himbo energy for all these spec ops bbies. Sweet summer children. I have no respect. I am v biased.
"Guys. We got a liiiive one." -offended in Texan by this accent- Actually she might be from, like Tennessee or some shit. again, accents aren't my thing. i stand by my statement.
Beltway and Spectre coming in from the other side; literally i've seen this video a billion times and i have never noticed that before. i live in shame.
"This is a quarentine zone!" Sweet bby. PLEASE. why is your first instinct seeing the most maladjusted cunts Umbrella could throw together for what I'm pretty sure Umbrella thought was gonna be a suicide mission or some shit (i am convinced Umbrella spent the entire time hoping they all got fucking dead) who are all HEAVILY ARMED AND CLEARLY CHASING DOWN A MAN RUNNING FOR HIS LIFE IN THE MIDDLE OF A ZOMBIE INFESTED CITY and you're first thought is "i will approach and yell and nothing will go wrong :)" Himbo energy.
Vector. My heart. My life. Thank you for your service. LOUDLY makes a gun sound, starts talking just before he uncloaks. my boy appreciates DRAMA
special bby boy just looks annoyed like 'how DARE they do this to me, a man who has made no bad choices ever'
Also that hair. i appreciate it. none of the Umbrella boys are allowed to show hair and it's not fair.
LUPO JUST LOOKS AT THE COP AND FUCKING SHOOTS HIM. no words for the spec ops people. they aren't a concern until AFTER she completes the mission
just IMAGINE being that cop. you're running from these assholes, you've been shot, your friend was blown up, any others that were with you before this video starts are fucking dead. and you fucking FALL and it's like "i'm gonna die"
then you see spec ops and their resident himbo #1 making demands or whatever. and you're full on cop-brained so you're like "military good. am safe :)" so you're kneeling there expecting some kind of discussion to happen, maybe some hostage things
you never see the shot coming. imagine the relief followed by FUCKING NOTHING because Lupo isn't dignifying the spec ops himbos with discussion.
Vector just KNOWING this means it is go time. Shoots just after Lupo does
WE FINALLY SEE HOW HIMBO #1 HAS LIVED SO LONG. he isn't smart, but damn can he spider sense react. he's read the room- he did it late, but he got there.
Vector's kicks. 100% kick boy. Dem legs. Bet his thighs are great. Love to see it. King shit.
Lupo just calmly "Kill them all" and the team just raise weapons and shoot in unison.
i know they say Delta team is new, but there is NO WAY these people haven't worked together before this mission.
Bertha standing next to Beltway. Listen. I hc a lot of things for this team, but her and Beltway i have MANY FEELINGS about
I was gonna crack shit about Bertha wearing obviously fetish wear while everyone else has normal fabrics Vector's stealth stuff notwithstanding but that's still not the same shit as Bertha but tbh? She's the medic. This is designed for blood and shit to, like, slide off. But also it's like that scene in Repo: The Genetic Opera where the Repoman takes off his uniform and hoses it off. I imagine Umbrella medics do this as well. Or, at least, Bertha does it. Post-mission or post-torture session, she just hangs her outermost layers and fucking hoses them off. It's efficient. Practical. And she likes the look and feel of it. A true sicko. Wonderful.
"Who the Hell are these guys?!" "Let me ask them!" minigun. I like her. Spec Ops has one (1) person i might actually give a shit about.
Vector's stealth ending because he's taking damage from the minigun. I love it.
Side note: all scene, NO ONE CAN HIT SHIT. like, a couple times people will get a single bullet and it won't really matter. just in general. it would be a worse scene if there were people getting dropped, but it does make me laugh that it's two elite teams and literally no one can aim for shit.
speaking of a single hit. Beltway taking a shot to the shoulder, RESPONDS WITH A GRENADE. classic king behavior. his character is shown very strong in this. he's just SO CHARACTER. "Sonova. Bitch. Right back atcha."
lajfl;jads THE GAS PRICE IS $1.15. ok. for '98 i wasn't driving. and i'm pretty sure gas prices here tend to be pretty good compared to other places. but when i started driving in- fuuuuuck- '05 or so, that was gas prices. It was about that. i look at this sign and weep because it sure as shit ain't that cheap now. i need an electric but idk if that will save me money or where i would charge it or anything. this had nothing to do with the game.
Himbo #1 hearing a sound, getting down to look under the car, and just "shit" then RUNNING is such a good bit. the way the explosion FUCKS with the audio. chef's kiss.
that car looks like an Impala i inherited once; it was a '99 Impala. i'm not a car person but that's what i'm reminded of.
ZOMBIE MEAT SHIELD ZOMBIE MEAT SHIELD ZOMBIE MEATSHIELD. one of my favorite things in pvp and in general. it's just. idk, it makes sense to do. more zombie shooting games should have this.
"We need to flank these guys! Now!" And Four Eyes was like 'lawl, guess what :)' It doesn't show who threw the pheromones, but we all know
This zombie thing. is a new problem for the spec ops. I can see Umbrella having pheromones. That makes perfect sense, they need a way to direct the infected. but the spec ops guy just seeing that and KNOWING is like ??? idk. i guess it would be the logical guess when mystery smoke happens and you notice zombies coming for your ass, but he knows it .02 seconds after that shit goes off. x to doubt
Spec Ops at this point is more about killing zombies- fair, because of the pheromones- and Umbrella going STRAIGHT FOR THE TARGETS ignoring the zombies. this gives me life. this is their tactics.
I don't really understand Lupo's mask and it's three straps below her ear but whatever.
While we're on masks, i don't know how Bertha, Beltway, or Vector see with the lights in the eyes of their masks. But whatever
"We got a T103 Tyrant approaching" and then the debris blockade scene. It's jostled once. Twice. Tyrant realized that whatever he was doing wasn't working. THROWS A FUCKING CAR. this is a recurring theme for him. but it does solve more problems than it causes.
Lupo almost getting crushed by the gas sign. Picks herself up. that little headshake. then she sees the Tyrant. then the Tyrant sees her. "Holy shit!" This is Umbrella property, but she KNOWS that shit is gonna kill her and she's going to survive. Too bad shooting at it did not helpu.
Himbo #1 dealing with a zombie, slams it on the hood of a car. LUPO THROWN INTO THE DOOR OF THE CAR. Himbo #1 just ??? you know he's not Umbrella because he doesn't straight murder her. he starts shooting at the Tyrant. maybe he doesn't know if she's dead or not. if the roles were reversed, Lupo would take that shot- practical. just a quick pop to the spec ops guy, then shoot the Tyrant.
MEDIC FIGHT, MEDIC FIGHT, MEDIC FIGHT. it does demonstrate Bertha can take a fucking hit. and that her way of using her machete is to swing wildly. she doesn't have the finesse for a knife, she wants something big she can flail with and do damage. she can be delicate with a scalpel on an operating table, not in battle. about the taking a hit thing, the spec ops medic seems to be better at cqc than Bertha. she gets a kick in, but how he redirects her swing with his gun, hits her with the gun, slams her into the truck (both blows to her face) and Bertha doesn't even PAUSE. just full on attack mode
Beltway turning the zombie into a bomb. It's charming when Beltway does it, BUT WHEN NIKOLAI DOES THAT SHIT >:[
once again Himbo #1 has a moment of "...shit" and once again Tyrant's problem solving technique is to throw a car.
And of course the RESIDENT EVIL voice line. Beautiful.
#have a VERY LONG POST.#i would read more it but i've already written this and it won't let me insert the read more between bullet points#so i'm not. i'm just. enjoy scrolling through this#but they are all valid takes i'm gonna throw that out there. not to toot my own horn. but toot toot motherfucker :)
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i'd really love to read a children au snippet of them during the world cup or something football related. i think you mentioned martín(this is also canon) and gabriel are big fans but andrés and elena hate it. would be fun. or maybe a summer holiday with jakov and/or sergio? any interaction of marseille with them would be great tbh
Hello anon, thanks for sending this! (And sorry for being late, I started writing this when I received the ask but this was one weird week for the fandom haha.)
I've decided to write two small snippets to cover both scenarios. Hope you enjoy it!
___________
There are fewer things in life worse than fourteen year olds. Namely: People who take a shit in the middle of the day with other people in the household, grocery store wine, and most crucially, fourteen year olds at the World Cup.
It's the most disastrous week of their life together. So far, he's had to handle the hotel forgetting how to be an hotel, Elena selling their alcohol to other children in the stadium, Martin's non-stop complaints about the shit-show, Elena non-stop complaints about how bored she is.
And worst of all, Gabriel's rageful-into-tears seven-hours rant during the whole night after Argentina lost the Final to Germany. A rant that went over every single player in both teams, the bitch referee, the German conspiracy, the traitor Messi, the Barcelona—his otherwise favourite team—conspiracy, the Brazilian flawed net, the Brazilian grass, and at some point it being Martín and Andrés' fault. Somehow.
Martín had went to drink with other enthusiasts and left Andrés to deal with it. He didn't get a moment of sleep, he hadn't even four hours of direct sleep in the whole week.
But this. Now.
"I'm sorry?"
"I said he went to the referee. He got hold of his hotel somehow, I don't know."
"What?" Andrés asks again.
Elena finally looks up from her phone and sighs. "He said he's gonna take his revenge. He's not gonna do anything, just let him walk it out."
"Revenge?"
Elena shrugs and returns to her phone.
"What hotel, what referee, when did he leave?" Andrés asks. "Elena!"
"I don't know! I didn't ask him. I'm not his babysitter. Can we just go somewhere else? Can we just go back home? Why did we even go to all the matches? You owe me. You said-"
Andrés rubs his face and interrupts her. "Where's your father?"
"Out."
"Can you put down this damn thing for a moment and talk to me?! Out where, where did he go?"
"Hanging out with some guys in the bar downstairs."
"You're coming with me. Get dressed."
She groans. But Andrés shoots her a look. They are never traveling for a World Cup ever in their lives again. They are never attending a football match again, period.
__________
"Where's your father?" Sergio asks, finding no one but the twins and the monks outside. Neither of the children is even looking at him, hunched over the fútbol. They always used to run and jump at him when he came over. Time flies.
"Your brother or the other one?" Elena asks, eyes on her players.
A smile creeps up on his face. "The other one."
"In the city. Meeting a contact-WIN! She jumps up, mockingly performing a victorious dance.
"Still 3:2. One more round to see." Gabriel answers in the faux calm he takes up when he loses.
"And my brother?" Sergio interrupts once again.
"Up in his studio, probably. Having a dramatic artist moment."
"A dramatic artist moment?" Sergio asks, bemused. But he's lost their attention once again. He noticed their suitcases are by the wall. "Is Jakov picking you up today?"
"No," Gabriel answers, his tone changing. Then looks up at Sergio for the first time. "He just dropped us, actually."
"What?"
"There was an accident."
To Sergio's surprise, Jakov emerges. Coming in from the courtyard, wiping his hands with a towel. "They killed my dog."
Sergio should be more surprised than he is.
"It was Elena." "It was Gabriel." The twins say at the same moment.
Gabriel sighs. "You shouldn't blame her so much, it was an accident. She didn't mean to do it."
"It was you."
They get into a shouting match that immediately turns physical. Jakov stands on the side, watching them neutrally, as if he's too used to this for it to warrant a reaction, and pours a drink for himself, while Sergio gets the skin of his arms torn by scratches trying to seperate them. "Stop it. Stop it. I said Stop it."
He just arrived. Where the hell is Andrés?!
"Until they admit the truth, no more training for them," Jakov explains calmly, pouring himself a drink. "Isn't that so, hm?"
"It's unfair! Why am I being blamed for her doings?!" Gabriel throws his arms, looking desperately at Jakov.
Jakov raises his eyebrow in an a see? And goes back into the courtyard. Sergio follows him.
"Can't you tell yourself which one did it? I'm sure they didn't mean it." He says, turning his arm to inspect the scratches. And removes a torn hair that landed on him arm during the fight.
Jakov turns to him. And smirks. "Neither of them did. I shot Diana myself. She was sick and suffering. The time has come for her peace."
Sergio stops in his tracks. "Will you explain what's your lesson behind this, then?"
Jakov shrugs. "Martín asked me to bring them home. Didn't ask why. Then told me to make them believe it's their fault."
Sergio sighs. He came for the heist, not this.
"But this should teach them. They always blame each other for any mistake. They have to learn how to take fault for their mis-doings, to be more sure of their own abilities. Do you know what they did instead?"
Sergio raises an eyebrow. "They buried the body, went into town, kidnapped another similar-looking dog from an old lady, and tried to act like nothing happened. I had left her dead in the morning before I left to to see how they'll deal with it. When caught, they just blamed each other."
Sergio chuckles. "It doesn't seem so bad. They acted. They had a plan." Then stops. "Do you leave weapons in their disposal when they are alone?"
Jakov ignores his question. "You're thinking from a robbers' perspective," Jakov answers. "This isn't a heist."
"And you from a hitman's."
Jakov shrugs again. Then, "In any case, they shouldn't be so susceptible to psychological manipulation. You wouldn't want them turning on each other like that during your big heist, no?"
What? Sergio stops in his tracks again, feeling his face pale.
Not only have they told Jakov of his plan, they have led the twins to believe they will be a part of the Royal Mint robbery. Sergio prepares himself to give them a hearing for it.
Not just reckless and stupid, but cruel; making the children believe in something that is impossible to happen.
#Children of the Dust#not very sure about those ones. but I hope you enjoy them still!#we need all the enjoyment we can get in this shitshow we're having quaoso
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So many thoughts over this ep:
1) i can’t with kinn and porsche being so soft and dreamy around each other 😭 they are OBSESSED WITH ONE ANOTHER, THEY ARE THe KIND OF DISGUSTING COUPLE THAT ONLY SLEEPS CUDDLING I HATE THEM 😭😭😭
2) the one scene when Porsche is blowdrying Kinn’s hair. 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3) love how everything around them is crashing and burning but they are busy with helicopters tours of bangkok and en air blowjobs. GOOD FOR THEM. G O O D F O R T H E M.
4) LMAO @ porsche’s new dream team of bodyguards. My baby doesn’t trust anyone to protect his baby except for himself, and he’s also a jealous little shit 🤷🏻♀️
5) Thankhun is a gem 😭🫶🏼❤️ he was so happy for kinn and when he was boasting about being the one who raised his little brothers to porschay 🥺 also, he already loves porschay!!!! But honestly, who wouldn’t (bitch ass kim i see right through you but still your behavior is unacceptable) (when porsche asks porschay if he can look after him AND kinn both 😭)
6) happy they choose to not follow the book with the r*pe storyline between vegas and pete, bc what we saw was already a lot and yet in this context is still kinda… forgivable? Not exactly the word i’d use but 🤷🏻♀️ still, i too was disturbed by the “feeding” scene :/ even more so than the one with the belt.
7) Vegas having major daddy issues is SUCH a cliché 😪 also, i obviously don’t want to minimize what the lack of love and affection does to a child, but how are you going to complain about your misery and how nobody can understand what you’re going through to your prisoner 😭😭😭 fuck i hate rich people
8) not vegas that going incognito worries only about bringing his prisoner and hid HEDGEHOG ALONG 😭😭😭 i can’t take this bitch seriously for the life of me 🤧 that poor hedgehog must have ptsd from all the shit his owner put it through
9) how is vegas an evil mastermind and yet it’s like his two minute therapy session with pete blows his fucking mind??? Not only he’s a bitch, but he’s also a basic one rip
10) in all seriousness, i kinda hate that these are the premises for a relationship, mostly bc i can wrap my head around vegas loving pete (latching to the first person who ever showed him pure kindness) but not the other way around (if we exclude stockholm syndrome). Still, i’m curious to see how they are going to play this whole thing out.
Bonus: how much longer until we discover why kim started his whole espionage mission and how shady korn is involved with porsche’s parents death?
anon, you are meeeeeee
like, these are my feelings about everything pretty much?
gonna try and address all your points
kinn and porsche being loved up, and confident in their feelings about each other. just enjoying being together.
all the soft intimaciiiiiiiies, as i spoke about yesterday. the domesticity.
i'm obsessed with their love fr
i am genuinely thriving off their happiness and don't care that some people are so bitter over their screen time in a show that is titled after them lol. hope they get all the air head they deserve ♡
tankhun and porschay was something i didn't know i needed until i got it. the way khun immediately saw him and immediately entered eldest sibling mode.
and yeah, when he said he raised them, i got a bit emotional ngl. after their mum died he most certainly was a parental figure to them, because korn for sure wasn't around to do the job.
mmhmm, i knew the should would most likely not have all the sa, but there was this level of anxiety beforehand, and it was nice to like, have it be confirmed. though few moments where vegas is touching pete in a purposefully sexual manner, and kissing his neck had me tense af.
the suggestion was enough to get through how horrifying it all was y'know?
god yeah the feeding scene. i really really didn't like that. the beating scenes are horrible, but, wounds heal. and pete can handle the pain.
the force feeding though...it's the absolute degradation and kinda grossness of it that tipped it for me. it felt so???? raw. definitely had to pause it for a minute.
the daddy issue thing? yeah, it was to be expected. i mean, if you don't have daddy issues, are you even a theerapanyakul? but vegas' total lack of awareness of the situation (him complaining to pete about it, who he isbluterally holding captive) just annoys me. but hey, i guess that's just vegas's whole thing. he's not meant to be liked. he's meant to look pathetic and weak and small in these scenes.
we're meant to see the real vegas.
still, as intriguing, intense and in depth as his character is.....he annoys me sorry. my feelings about vegas are complex atm.
i just wanna see him get throat punched.
vegas should not be a pet owner. that is all.
lmao he is a basic bitch, you're so right anon.
it's the look for confusion though that gets me, when pete starts explaining why his dad does what he does. the man is so emotionally stunted, the thought of someone even possibly understanding how he feels totally baffles him.
god this man is messed up fr 🤦🏾♀️
and this is why we should raise kids in the mafia lol
i'm getting off topic here hold on
yes ok! your last point
see this is my thing too
vegas falling for pete, makes total sense, for the reasons you've stated.
but pete? pete's more emotionally rounded, more clever, just, overall a stronger person, that, i can't see this situation developing into romantic feelings?
i don't even think it's a stockholm syndrome situation. i feel like pete's using the situation (vegas softening up) to bide his time, and eventually escape. i can't see him willingly staying there, even if he does develope some sort of pity for vegas.
so then how do we get from that, to them being in a consensual relationship, in a way that's still true to his character??
it's all??? ugh, i just don't know how to feel about it at all.
but yeah, i guess we'll just have to wait and see how they do it? i'll probably end up being on board in a few eps but as of right now i'm back & forth.
bonus point! i think it'll be pretty soon tbh. we've got 3 eps left, and the ending of this ep was a big revelation - well not so much for us, we been knew korn is behind it all - but for kim it is.
it's all gonna come to a head real soon.
#anon#my reply got so long idek if i made any sense oooops#not gonna out this in the tag though#don't wanna clog it and don't want vp stans to come for me lol
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A side blog of @wistfuldarkmindpalace
Rules
SOLO FOR HARLEY QUINN.
“Goodbye puddin` ya stupid motherfucker!”
Harley was heartbroken and this meant for her a fresh start. It's known, best ideas come when you are most drunk! Though this was much more than that, this was the opening for a new path. A new beginning for Harley Quinn. When she pushed down to speed up against the ace chemicals so many memories came up in her mind. When she met with the Joker, when she fell hard for him. Long time ago when she was just Harleen Quinzel, she was a psychiatrist, the best one but as many times happens, love happened to Harley. It changed her and under the manipulation of the Joker he had her completely under his spell.
“No more bullshit! Just me and my life!” Harley threw the van just towards it, she opened the car to fall on the ground. She sticks out her tongue and a middle finger before smiling brightly.
That felt like a change...A new beginning! She had lost one of her boots in the van, as she was swearing she made her way towards a car that she obviously stolen speeding up outside before she braked abruptly a group of men were trying to stop her. She didn't stop, instead she just run away as far as possible. It was known. Life alone is never easy especially after some time when she knew that alone she couldn't do anything. Part of this was untrue, Harley was a fuckinʼ bad ass woman and she didn't need the Joker to give her immunity.
It was hard. Especially after a few months. Even though, Harley promised to herself that she wouldn't jump on the first man who had murderous tendencies, it's a very bad red flag that she would suppress instantly.
“I'm Harley fuckinʼ Quinn, I don't need anybody!”
Gotham was a tough city and very chatty one. It didn't take much for those rumours to come up. Harley Quinn broke up with the Joker. She didn't care whatever they hell they wanted to say, Harley wanted to clean herself up from that clown. She was more than that, she was fearless. She even took two fabulous hyenas, Bud and Lou. Despite that, there was something else she wanted to do. It appears that Gotham was under the control of big guys like Penguin, Two Faces and Black Mask.
I am gonna show ya how dark I can be. I am gonna do what the Joker couldn't!
Harley would say to herself. She had the idea to put together a team, maybe a small squad of her own but recruiting people doesn't seem that easy especially when you are considered a crazy clown bitch that was with the Joker. Of course, that was a red note on her life that she cannot erase. That night Harley decided to make a small change in her life and to make small changes, she needed money, lots of money. She thought to steal some jewels to a group of thugs, but it went wrong, very wrong. It ended up with a fight. Her gymnasts skills were useful in this case, she was skillful, fast, but there was one problem. They were so many and armed. Ah, dman. This ain't gonna end so well.
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star trek: Lower Decks season 2
actions pact start.
on the one side it's a very interesting conflict. on the other this feels like trying to undo the setup of the finally.
ok, semi reset. like the option of them working together, but also maintaining the status quo
i do hope that main guy and main girl don't get together. i just think their relationship is so much better as a friendship.
lamp shading animation errors. neat.
odd to introduce a new character to just replace him with an old one.
ok. last episode did some lampshading. but if they just undo a major character death then that's just stupid. like maybe it's a reference to another show but that doesn't work in this show on it's own, and if the show doesn't work on it's own then that's a major weakness of the show. like if it's the plot of the episode great. but it better not be just a throw away joke or lampshade.
so she's pansexual. it wasn't confirmed yet. yet somehow her being straight or even lesbian would be a bigger surprise.
ok, they actually did something with it. more a joke, but at least it's something i can accept.
ok, i'm a very basic bitch. i just love myself some badass lady.
"we call ourselves the redshirts. makes us sound invinsible" even with my Very limited knowledge on startrek i get that joke.
everything tastes like black liquorish... well, being dutch would come in handy there. not like i'm the biggest fan of liquorish, but i grew up with it. random question: is liquorish related to liquor name wise?
not much of a revelation. is or isn't he ready? what's their relationship like going forward?
roles reversed episode... but like... one of the big points is the that higher up often do a very meh job. showing their job is hard is stupid ways fails on so many levels. the point has to that it's rigged right?
ok, they made good use of it.
so here's something i just thought of: the conceit of this show is that many people want to rank up, going from lowest rung to highest officer. this... well it's stupid. lets compare it to me: i'm a programmer. if the company i worked at worked like this then tough hard work and showing of i could move up the ranks. manager, maybe HR, CEO... i would not be able to do that. well except CEO because in big companies that's not a job. no matter how good i show of to be at making a program that's not the training i'd need to lead a team. i'd prefer the person to lead the team to be a good leader over being a good programmer. of course understanding what your team is doing well enough is part of being a good leader, you can't be a leader in construction and become a leader store management without training and be any good. but a leader wouldn't need to understand how my code works to be a good leader. their method of ranking up makes sense for a show (or a game) as it means the protagonists (or you the player) have something they can work towards. but in reality it's a sign of at best outdated leadership structures.
now it makes sense why star trek has it: it's an old show based of submarine battles. so of course it takes hints from the military, which stuck for a long time or even still sticks to going from the bottom to the top instead of training people for different ranks. and as i said it works well for narratives. but it's still worth pointing out.
wait... why is there a door for the spaceport inside which spaceships remain? a massive interior space without atmosphere. i mean, could be justified as keeping it safe from debris, but still seems silly. i mean i was going to save compared to smaller hatches for individual ships, but that would mean multiple gates while this just means one giant gate all ships have to pass trough. still feel silly, but i can make it make sense. i doubt they put this much thought into it.
i feel so much for the lady who got angry over the ballroom dancing competition having to be postponed. damn you empathy.
damn this is a cool setup. and i already know the twist, it'll all be for nothing as the other ship will be able to save itself. either ruining the captains chances for success or making her want to stay on the old ship.
damn good finally already.
damn... that twist though.
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