#i'm so sorry this was so long and rambley! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cosettepontmercys · 1 year

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My sister and I set a goal for ourselves this year to read more physical books so whenever we go on a little trip to town we buy some and it's been working well so far. I feel so guilty though when I spent money on books I didn't enjoy and I don't know how to turn that feeling off. And then today I bought a book and it turns out it's that author who didn't read the odyssey before writing a "retelling" and now I feel awful but I don't want to not read a book I spent money on (because money is tight again) but I don't want to read it when I have all these negative feelings attached to it and I hope I can put them aside and still enjoy reading it, I'm trying not to go on goodreads and read reviews before I read a book because I'm easily influenced but in this case I feel like the reviews are entirely justified and I'm just so eurgh about having spent money on this and -> <-

hello sweet friend! 🤍 i love that you and your sister are trying to read more physical books this year, and that it's going well! i'd love to hear about what your favorites have been so far 🧸

i think feeling guilty/feeling disappointed for spending money on something that you didn't enjoy is totally normal; it's this feeling of "oh, i could've spent it on [x,y, or z] instead". and i think that can also apply to other factors too, not just monetary — "i could've spent my time on better things", "i could've done this other thing instead". we're not always able to predict if something will bring us enjoyment/joy of some sort, but i think we get closer to learning more about ourselves. for me, at least, every time i read a book that i don't like, i get a step closer to figuring out what kind of books i do like. i've gotten a lot better about knowing my own taste in books (and other things), and have gotten smarter about the books i purchase, ARCs i request, etc. as a result of that.

books (like all art) are really subjective, and what works for one person might not work for another, so i try to pass books that don't work for me to someone who will enjoy them. my best friend and i have wildly opposite tastes, and a lot of the time she'll end up with a new favorite, which is great! i also try to unhaul books regularly; whether that's through donating them, going free little library hopping, or trying to sell them at my local bookstore (they buy used books)/online on facebook/via other methods. i'm not sure if any of those are options for you! i'm not sure if you have access to a library near you, or if the library near you has a good selection, but the library is also a great way to get a hold of more physical books!

with the author who didn't read the odyssey retelling, i personally haven't read it or looked into their book too much, because i've been too overwhelmed by ARCs/have been slumping hardcore lately, but i took a (very) quick skim through the goodreads reviews — it looks like there are a lot of people giving it a 1 star without reading it, there are some people who genuinely didn't love it, and there are people who loved it, which could be said for any book, really! i'm also pretty easily influenced and have to make an active effort try not to take too much stock in reviews though — just because people can rate things for different reasons; what works for one person doesn't work for another, etc. most of the time, i try not to log a book on goodreads until i'm past the first 50 pages, just so that i'm 1) already semi-invested in the book & 2) i've already started forming my own opinion on it (i can normally predict by the 50 page mark how i'll feel about a book) & 3) not tempted to go through goodreads reviews. if you ever see me looking at reviews while i'm in the middle of a book, it's usually because i'm trying to figure out if my feelings/thoughts are justified, and if it's worth continuing (or if i should just DNF it). it's also okay to not read a book immediately — maybe you could put a pin on it for a while until you feel like you're able to enjoy it, if you think that's possible at all?

it's always 🥴 (a really shitty feeling, for lack of a better word) to have spent money on something and to not enjoy it, or to later find out something about it that makes you 😵‍💫. i hope your next pick is a good one, and i hope you're loving whatever you're currently reading! 💌

#post: answered #i'm so sorry this was so long and rambley!#i am answering this at the end of a very long work day and my brain is just mush </3

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regularshcw · 3 months

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i need to work on the bios soon buuuuuut

margaret is trans ( trans woman )

benson is trans ( trans man )

em is trans ( trans man )

fanny is trans ( trans woman )

penny is nonbinary ( genderfluid )

neu is nonbinary ( unlabeled )

rigby is trans ( trans man )

and pops' gender is ?????

#🐦 margaret // about / i'm not seeing anyone right now ; guys are jerks #📋 benson // about / no ; i can only write the truth and the truth is i don't appreciate you #🐾 em // about / but it's really quite alarming 'cause i'm such an awful fuck #🍽️fanny // about / let me wrap my teeth around the world #🦠penny // about / blood on her skin ; dripping with sin ; do it again #❄️ neu // about / dominated by all you hated ; this will make you ultranumb #🦝 rigby // about / my pepperonis are roasting up here #🍭 pops // about / surely i'm invited to my own birthday party #long post /#someone in the past thought it wld be appropriate to dm me just to tell me they didnt like when ppl headcanoned most / all of the cast of a #-show being trans. so now most of my characters are trans <3 #tbf most of them were trans anyways #dean is a demiboy but im not sure if that counts? im not demi myself so #of course anyone is free to label themselves whatever a label is just a label -- smth that you can use to help things make sense but isnt-#-necessary. i like labels bc it helps me to explain things better #this got long and rambley im sorry #im sleepy from work but

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duke-daemon · 4 months

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hazbin hotel redesigns wooooooooo

okay so. i'm gonna discuss my thoughts about them n shit, putting under a readmore bc it's gonna get long and rambley. sorry in advance for the shit formatting, i'm on mobile </3

just some general shit about how i would rewrite it. i think the premise of redeeming sinners is entertaining but is executed horribly. i also am a fan of the "heaven isn't great either" idea but again, executed horribly. i'd make the hierarchy of angels more accurate because it's cool as hell and i have autism about it. the characters from hell would swear still (albeit not as much), but the angels would outright refuse to swear or make vulgar jokes ever. this would be partially to further the gap between heaven and hell and make the differences more stark.

hell would also be more like dante's inferno (again because i think its cool). the ars goetia would get a full redesign and would be more prevalent in demonic society.

now for the characters!

---

VAGGIE VALTIEL:

starting off with vaggie, or Valtiel as i've renamed her because let's be honest her original name sucks. Valtiel (Val for short) was an aspiring power angel who wanted to be an exorcist. she looked up to lute and thought the idea of killing demons was really cool and badass. however when she actually was on the field for the first time she discovered how awful this actually was. she tried to help a few demons but lute figured it out and felled her right then and there. the rest of her story is relatively the same. personality wise she's more stoic and less prone to all-out aggression. she still get angry, sure, but it's in a quieter and more menacing way. you DO NOT want to fuck with Valtiel.

CHARLIE:

next up is charlie! i had two ideas for her. the first one (unsettling drawing) has her as a mannequin/doll type demon. lucifer and/or lilith was unable to conceive and as such they built a kid from scratch. she's overall similar to og charlie personality wise, very kind and cheerful despite her unsettling appearance. she struggles with empathy sometimes but really does mean well. her motive for rehabilitating sinners is so they get to see their family again. being able to see heaven from where they are in hell must make them sad, so she wants to help make them happy again!

the second idea for charlie has her as an angel. specifically i casted her as a dominion angel due to their reputation as holy judges. she was once a demon but has been rehabilitated and has risen into angelhood! she now wants to help her former kin do the same and redeem themselves in heaven's gaze. again, similar cheery personality, but a bit more prudish in this rendition

tangent time!

as a side tangent, valtiel and charlie would have a different relationship in this rewrite. their relationship felt shoehorned in in the original show, like it was just there for the hell of it. we didn't see much development between them and it just felt kinda bland. so in my rewrite, charlie and valtiel are amiable exes. they tried dating when valtiel first fell (when charlie was still a demon in the charlie-angel version) but realized their feelings for each other were much more platonic than romantic. they ended things off on good terms, deciding they were much better as friends. they are still besties to this day! later charlie ends up with emily (or 'ellie' as i plan to rename her)

back to the characters

Alastor:

note: i made alastor mixed-race, which could be seen as bad by some due to vivzie saying he's black. however, as many have pointed out, he has no ethnic features whatsoever and i honestly wouldn't be surprised if she said that just to get away with using voodoo symbols (a closed religion) in his imagery/design. like viv, i am incredibly white and have little to no knowledge of voodoo, and even if i did i would not use it for something like this anyways due to the stigma the religion already has and (again) it being a closed practice. as such i removed it from his concept altogether, but made him mixed race (white passing) because.. why not i guess, i forgor my actual reasoning

with that being said...

alastor is by far my favorite of the redesigns and i'm honestly tempted to turn him into a legally distinct oc. i imagine he's somewhat reserved, along the lines of norman bates albeit a bit more extroverted. during his life he was a serial killer with a day job as a radio announcer. he took pleasure in reporting about his own murders on the radio, but that is eventually what got him caught (ie accidentally letting slip info that wasn't released to the public). as a result he was sentenced to death. upon arriving in hell, he quickly rose through the ranks to borderline overlord status and is a feared presence by demons and sinners alike. why is he bothering to assist in the hotel project? who knows... his motives are a mystery, like the rest of what he does

(he isn't actually alastair crowley i just thought the naming convention was ironic. however he may have also dabbled with satanic magic in lifetime..)

Angel Dust:

TW: brief discussion of SA

this is definitely my second favorite redesign. i loooove insect themes and wanted to do more than just Extra Arms, so he now has fucked up legs and a lot of eyes too! story-wise, angel used to be a criminal mastermind, hated by both the mafia and the feds. he was a gentleman thief, arranging massive heists under the cover of night while also partaking in the occasional drag show. he ended up a cocaine addict later in life, which caused his work to become sloppier. eventually he was killed in a heist gone wrong, specifically shot by the police.

i'm not gonna go too in-depth on the SA part of his story, but he is hypersexual due to being assaulted in both his life and afterlife. it would be something he'd be working on in the rewrite. his reason for coming to the hotel in the first place may have even been for help with this trauma. underneath his sultry exterior is a broken guy who really just needs someone to care about him for who he really is and not for what his body can do.

LUTE:

so lute and adam are some of the characters i have the most gripes about. the biggest one being why viv chose adam as the leader of the exorcists in the first place. if she wants a biblical figure tied to demon killing, Archangel Michael is RIGHT THERE, aka the one destined to kill satan during the events of Revelations. if she wants the first human to die, that would be Abel, not Adam. and i kinda doubt abel would want to do the stuff that HH!adam has been doing. if she wants an angel related to torture, Dumah is her guy! an angel that rules over wicked souls and tortures sinners every day except sabbath. so many better options...

with that out of the way, Lute is still the lieutenant of the exorcist, who are a specially chosen group of powers sent to purge hell once a year. think navy seals. she's pretty much the same as in the show, albeit more muscular and visually different from other exorcists (seriously why do they all look exactly the same?????) she's a very repressed lesbian who hasn't had time to work on that due to her duties

i also redesigned the exorcist uniform/armor because those LED purge masks are fugly as hell and their clothes don't even look remotely like armor.

Adam + Final Thoughts

i did start a redesign of adam but got bored of it. regardless, i think he'd be the head of C.H.E.R.U.B. instead of the exorcists. he doesn't want his children to make the same mistakes he and eve did, so together they started C.H.E.R.U.B. to help lost souls stay out of hell

final thoughts uhhhh i'm tired. show sucks, it had so much potential but viv ruined it by being a shitty writer and an even shittier person. the designs are fine i guess but they all look exactly the same and are in desperate need of variety. the humor is dogshit, saying dick and balls and penis over and over and over again doesn't make it any funnier than the first three times you made that joke. anyways that's it, i hope you liked my inane ramblings. gonna go vanish for another forty years or so, adios

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funnier-as-a-system · 3 months

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uhm, I'm not part of a system, but I use a person in my head who can take over for me and has their own personality as a coping mechanism, and I was talking about her to my brother cause they help so much and he said that I sounded like his ex who was part of a system so I did research and I experience practically no DID symptoms. So should I stop using it as a coping mechanism? Is that bad and mean to people actually parts of systems? And if it is okay, would it be bad to use things attributed to DID? (alter, headspace, host, etc) Cause I don't wanna harm people actually part of systems and make it seem like some quirky little thing, sorry for rambling a little I get rambley when I'm anxious

I don't mean to alarm you, so please imagine me saying this with a gentle tone, but what you're describing sounds exactly like a system. A system involves having multiple beings* sharing the same body, each with their own sense of self**, and typically being able to change who has control of their shared body (or "take over" as you put it).

* These "beings" can be persons, or referred to with other terms.

** I can't tell for certain based on your ask, but based on how you said she has her own personality, I find it likely that this person in your head has her own sense of self and considers herself to be her own person, since personality is generally understood to be part of one's self.

However, it sounds to me as though you don't believe this could be a system due to some misconceptions about systems. So, let's go over them.

Firstly, you don't need to have DID, or any disorder, to be a system. While having, quote, "two or more distinct personality states" (headmates, or in the case of how you described her and likely describe yourself, persons) is required to have DID, the reverse is not true; you don't need to have DID to have two or more distinct personality states. You don't need to fit the other criteria to be a system; you'd just need to fit the other criteria to have DID. You can experience this specific symptom of DID without experiencing any other. You can be a system without having DID.

Secondly, there are plenty out there without DID (or other disorders) who are still systems "as a coping mechanism", as you put it. They are known as non-disordered traumagenic or stressgenic systems, and their systems come from needing to cope with trauma and/or stress. Sometimes, these systems are even purposely created as an active coping mechanism, but other times they occur without any conscious choice. It sounds to me as though your system could very well come from similar origins, or at the very least, help you in similar ways.

Thirdly, while "alter" is generally associated with DID, as it comes from the medical term "alternate personality state", the other terms you mentioned have origins from other parts of the system community. "Headspace" is a term used by many regardless of status of system or singlet, and "host" has more roots in spiritual systems than psychological. You are free to use whatever terms you wish so long as you make sure you understand their definitions and associations, and are comfortable using them for yourself – for example, systems with spiritual origins are less likely to use the term "alter" due to its medical connotations making many systems of this type uncomfortable, but there are others who are fine with using it for themselves. There are other community terms that people misunderstand in this same way, so don't feel bad about this.

While most people hear of systems in association with DID, DID is not the only way to be a system. You can be a system and describe yourself with system terms without having DID. And on the flip side, some folks with DID choose not to describe themselves as systems or with system terminology! It all depends on the system/person/plural in question.

I'm not going to outright tell you that you are a system. But I urge you to consider where your rejection of the idea comes from, as it seems to me that it is coming from some easy to make misunderstandings about systems in general.

In short, no, you're not being offensive, bad, or mean for being like a system (or being a system outright) without having DID. You're far from alone in that boat, in fact, so don't worry about it. If this other person is helping you, there's no need to get rid of her – in fact, I'd discourage you from doing so on the possibility that she is her own headmate, as repressing or ignoring one's system generally makes things worse. Instead, I'd recommend gently exploring the possibility of being a system, perhaps looking into the created system side of the community to see if anything resonates with you or if there are resources you would find helpful. My own system found many resources from that sub-community that we found helpful when we were first discovering our plurality, and we thought we were only traumagenic back then!

It's alright to be anxious. But I promise, the only people who would get pissed at you for using system terminology or being like a/a system without having DID are generally people you'd want to avoid anyway. If having a coping mechanism of another person in your head who can take over your body sometimes is improving your life – well, I think it'd just be hypocritical, rude, and pointless of me to tell you off for that!

Hope this helps!

#thanks for the ask!

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gabessquishytum · 6 months

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Hello Friend,

With US Thanksgiving coming up I’m feeling really very thankful and feel the need to tell you. You, without fail, make my day better everyday. I read your blog like some people might their newspapers and it can often help me relax after a long day. Even when I am not your target audience I can always see how your writing is so thoughtful, excited, and well-rounded. You just care so much and I know it must take so much effort to reply to all these asks but you do it with such compassion and vigor that I read things I never thought I would. I have discovered new tropes and kinks I enjoy and it’s even helped me get desensitized to some of my previous icks which I am grateful for. But it has also brought me countless smiles and expanded my imagination in so few words. I think sometimes we internalize that horny writings™️ are LESS than others but you have helped me truly get over that internalized superiority complex I had.

You have genuinely brought me so much joy that I sometimes think I love you in the way only a fan can love a creator. I love you in the way a stranger can never express to another stranger on the internet but longs to. Please let me know if you ever get a Patreon or a Kofi or a Paypal even because I feel such guilt in never being able to repay you for the joy you have brought me. Truly, you are one of my favorite fandom creators ever like top 3 (Aria is in there with you fyi).

I’m sorry if this is creepy but you have truly made me unhinged and I am grateful for it. You compel me to think of my own words for fandom which has never happened to me before. You compel me to think more and to love more (and be more of a horndog lol) and you are so special for that.

I hope you have an amazing holiday season and know that you are loved and appreciated (hopefully by friends and family) but especially by strangers on this hellsite.

All the best,

🧶

P.S. I am sorry this got weirdly rambley and maybe borderline creepy - I am just like this lol.

Beloved 🧶 anon please know I am having a little cry over your message. I am feeling so so under the weather and sick at the moment and this is just the nicest thing i could have received.

It makes me so happy and proud to know that my blog helps you relax and makes you feel good. I do love making my silly posts and collaborating with you guys, it really does mean the world to me. I try not to talk about it a lot but I am currently very disabled and as a result I can't work, so I've kinda started seeing this blog as my fun little job that brings enrichment into my life. It makes me happy and gives me a sense of accomplishment and community and I'm so grateful for that.

Every time someone writes to me with a kink they enjoy or a prompt or anything really, I DO feel so much enthusiasm and care for each one and I'm so glad that you guys can feel that in the posts.

I'm so thankful to all of you and especially you 🧶 anon, it means the world to get such lovely feedback on my weird little beloved horny passion project. Love you all.

#🧶 anon

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real-total-drama-takes · 6 months

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Long, kind of rambley message for the fandom incoming:

Hey. I'm Noodle. You may know me as the creator of Kelsi Anderson and possibly kicking off the still-ongoing transfem Cody renaissance, such as it is.

I'm sorry.

Kelsi started off as a joke. A shitpost that took a life of its own. I never anticipated fanart, making friends, or any of this. Quite frankly, the TD fandom scares me and the thought of being a minor celebrity in it is terrifying. But I guess it's better to be known as the person behind Kelsi than for the warrant out for my arrest /j

But seriously. I may be sorry it got out of hand, but I don't regret it. There's a lot of super talented people that I've been able to meet because of this fic. (I've also been exposed to so much needless drama, but idk what I expected from a fandom with drama in its name. If some of you knew my IRL age though you'd cancel me faster than Julia)

I get not liking Cody. I get not liking Kelsi, or Cassidy, or Jody or Maddy or any of the other wonderful fem!Codies I'm forgetting the name of right now. But don't be dicks about it.

If you want to talk about Kelsi, message me. If you want to send me anon hate, do it. I don't care. But just let people have fun and don't put too much stock in silly headcanons.

Also, Wayne should win season 2. Good night

#total drama #td cody

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thelovelyblark-barg · 9 months

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I've been trying to make this post for like 3 weeks so forgive how rambley it is-

When season 3 inevitably starts with us watching The Fall it's going to hurt me so much.

Aziraphale is the one who told this Pre-fall Crowley that their stars won't last even a fraction of how long they could which planted the seed to get them to start asking questions. And asking those questions definitely made it easier to start hanging out with The Wrong Crowd.

Which is why Crowley's so angry at the idea of being reinstated as an angel. Why should he ever want to go back when the system is so bad it cast him out for simply wanting to know?

He tries to show Aziraphale how bad of a system it is. Hell is bad, sure, but Heaven is the reason they're even like that in the first place. But all Aziraphale sees is, despite everything, how Good of an entity Crowley is still able to be despite it all. That Crowley specifically should not have fallen, because he clearly still wants to do good!

Which circles back to Aziraphale being the one who ended up making him fall in the first place! Which he almost definitely blames himself for!

So when, in the bandstand, Crowley says "I won't be forgiven, not ever. It's part of a Demon's Job Description. Unforgivable, that's what I am."

Aziraphale's only response is just "You Were and Angel once" which is essentially him just going "You were Made to do good and I Still see that in you."

"That was a long time ago" as a response which just means "and I'll never be one again."

So instead Aziraphale continues to say something he think's he's particularly good at.

"I Forgive you"

which I 100% think means "I'm Sorry"

#gos2spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #aziracrow

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moonypears-blog · 2 months

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Hi so I had ✨️thoughts✨️ on a concept for a stf episode/scenario/etc that I remembered tangentially related to your Papa story (so good btw) (also this may end up being long I'm so sorry)

It'd most likely be something geared towards an older audience (like not kindergartners lol, something for the spinoff whenever that happens maybe? Idk what the target audience for it will be considering we dont know anything about it) and framed as either a Father's Day or Halloween episode (I don't think we got any Father's day eps other than the one episode I hate with a burning passion)

Basically, Sofia is going through her things and finds something of Birk's, whether it be some sort of sailing gear or clothing or a gift or an image of them together (idk it could be anything, we know borderline nothing about this man) and she's hit with what I'm going to call the Rose Quartz effect. Missing a parent who you barely/don't know, having unanswered questions that won't/can't be answered, having all these conflicting feelings about this one person and feeling all of them yet none of them at the same time. Losing a parent at such a young age is rough and was just the tip on the iceberg of Sofia growing up far faster than she needed to.

Where am I going with this? Well, because of all of these unanswered questions and difficult emotions, Sofia wants to talk to her deceased father. Ghosts exist canonically in the series, who's to say they can't be summoned? Maybe she gets help from Cedric, or she finds a book on her own, or maybe she even gets help from Lucinda and the witches or that one ghost from the Ghostly Gala episode who's name I can't remember but I definitely had a crush on as a kid.

The main conflict of the episode would probably be all of these internal conflicting desires for Sofia, possibly also Miranda's own feelings about her belated husband (is this how you use belated? Idk lol).

Regardless of how it happens, the episode ends/has its final act with Sofia summoning her father, Birk. He sees how much his little girl has grown up, how brave and kind and smart she is. She gets to see and say goodbye to her father a final time and get proper closure. Maybe throw in a line or two there from Birk on just how grown up Sofia is, almost (definitely) too grown up for a pre-teen/adolescent girl.

The message of the episode would probably be something about grief and the process of it all, how it's okay to be angry that someone you love is gone, how talking about it opens old wounds but helps to heal them. It's bittersweet.

But yeah definitely not something suited for what the original demographic for stf was. Of course important to talk about, but with what I'm talking about it'd probably go over such young heads.

Sorry that this is so long! I had to get all my thoughts out and it got pretty rambley lmao

This is such a good idea for an episode!

I agree that Birk would be disheartened at how grown up Sofia is, obviously he'd know she's grown since she was five, but she's too far ahead, and not in the natural way that some children just emotionally mature quicker than their peers.

I think even though it's been a long time and Sofia doesn't really have anything to miss as she hardly knows life with him, she still really misses Birk, like I said in chapter two of "Papa..." some days she just wants to be by herself and lay in bed grieving him. I wish the show brought it up, especially for the potential children watching who lost one of their parents like Sofia. This would be a really good episode for that reason alone, honestly.

Honestly it wouldn't surprise me if this spin off went a more mature route, considering how a good deal of the fans are teens and adults, and there's going to be people watching who grew up on the show and are now older just out of curiosity. If I remember rightly something similar happened with miraculous ladybug, they started making the episodes more mature after the creators realised the main audience was teens and adults, not their original target audience. I've seen Craig interact with lots of older fans so he definitely knows they're a big audience!

#Also you don't need to apologise for rambling in my asks I love it!/gen #sofia the first #sofia the fandom #stf #princess sofia #sofia balthazar #moonypears asks #asks

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darishima · 1 year

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What do you like about Midari? I rarely find people who love the show :D

ohh boy that's hard to answer... is it a copout if i say everything? it probably is so i'm gonna try to pin down all the reasons why. sorry it'll probably be long and a bit rambley 😭 thank you so so much for asking though i have been WAITING for the opportunity to talk about midari

*tw for discussion of self harm, suicidal thoughts, and general mental illness (obviously, cause this is midari we're talking about)*

first of all, i think a lot of it is because i heavily relate to her. the feeling of never being fulfilled or truly happy and turning to pain and suicide as the apparent answer... it really hits home, and back when i watched kakegurui for the first time (in 2019) i'd never really seen any other piece of media that talked about it so openly.

that, specifically, is one of the things i find most interesting about her- the fact that (prior to meeting kirari and losing her eye) she'd never been "truly happy." and the fact that (self-inflicted) pain (or the risk of pain/death, specifically) is what finally made her feel something is so deeply sad. i feel like a lot of people brush her off as a "crazy yandere" or whatever, which is frustrating because she's so much more than that (and even her ""yandere"" side, the way she feels about yumeko, is just because she wants yumeko to kill her; it's not the typical yandere portrayal, like yuno gasai or the like, because it's not driven by romantic interest- at least, not fully). she's clearly struggling (the bandages she wears on her arms seem much too convenient to be there for any reason other than covering self harm scars/injuries), but she still has such a confident and "gives-no-fucks" attitude that i find genuinely admirable. she's really smart (she's a amazing gambler, has good grades, and i've always gotten the impression that she could easily be the top of her class, maybe even rival sayaka, if she ever bothered to study), very perceptive (as shown when she immediately saw through yumemi's idol façade and sayaka's intelligence), and also genuinely caring, like when she saves ayame nureba from suicide in the kakegurui midari manga (granted, she does it in a distinctly midari-esque way, but she still saves her life).

a lesser seen side of her, though, is that she's actually kind of... a adorable weirdo? it's most often shown in kakkokari (a manga spinoff of kakegurui that not many people have read, because it's never gotten an official english release/translation). like, she refers to animals with the -san honorific (except giraffes, she doesn't like giraffes),

cleans up trash around the school,

knows yumemi's songs by heart,

orders cutesy dishes at a coffee shop,

and when she gets 3rd place in a "which student council member do you want to be your girlfriend" competition, she's surprised and embarrassed (i'd vote for her in a heartbeat btw)

she's just so skrunkly yknow?? and there's dozens more moments like this from kakkokari, like when she wears a kigurumi hoodie like runa's, or when she gets hiccups and convinces kirari to choke her, or when she turns out to be surprisingly worried about how other people perceive her, and asks sayaka to teach her how to fix her "vulgarity" (and then gets told by kirari that she seems "normal," and immediately holds her gun to her head lmao).

TLDR; she's someone who is struggling a lot, and has been for years, but still manages to be smart, perceptive, confident, and kind. the issues she has with her mental health are things i've struggled with too, and really relate to (i'm a midari kin, after all), and god i just want to give her a hug so bad. and she's also adorable and goofy and weird in all the best ways, and she means the world to me <3

sorry that was SO long lmao... i had to omit a lot of character analysis from kakegurui midari (a manga spin off about her pre-canon, in which she has a girlfriend) but i hope i answered your question well enough!! thank you for asking, and giving me an excuse to ramble about midari :))

#midari ikishima #casey talks #a lot #kakegurui #kakegurui analysis #asks #i like her a NORMAL AMOUNT okay. i am normal.

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questionable-chnt-hc · 7 months

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hi I know you said asks are closed. but I saw that one about Elijah being the dark-coded and I just. that feels wrong to me?

like, I get the idea around the stuff with blind devotion/worship and trust, but to me that is A) much more desolation coded (I'm not very good at wording things so feel free to ignore but it's the concept around overwhelming/suffocating love. also the man literally tried to burn Sydney on a pyre) and B) it's kinda just extrapolating the concept of cults and applying it to Elijah while ignoring his actual intersection in the plot? again, I get what was meant by the original ask and I don't mean to be shitty or anything (feel free to delete if this is gross/bad) but Elijahs whole thing in s1 is *uncovering* rather than *hiding*

I feel it follows more with the original logic that jeddie would be the dark then. like obviously he's lonely we all know that, but if you take the conception of blind trust, that is very literally majority of what jedidiah does in s1. wanting Sydney to trust him while not doing anything to help him and ignoring etc etc

idk just thinking. sorry if this is too long/rambley or mean in any way, I just disagree a bit with the original ask

These are all really good points as well. I don’t really think this is gross or anything like and also thank you for helping me realize I deadass forgot to put that asks were reopened in the bio

#camp here and there #ch&t #chnt #elijah volkov #tma fears

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lakemojave · 3 months

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long rambley anon is back:

even if every single aspect of yourself was "borrowed", you're the amazing eye behind that curation. there are whole design houses where people are paid the ~*~big bucks~*~ just for their discernment and to have them choose meaningful things out of a pile of "stuff". you are the master curator of the museum of you, and people are slamming money and love and time down on the counter joyfully for a chance to look in c:

i'm sorry the world hasn't always been kind to you, sebastian. despite all of it though... you're still here kicking. and inspiring people. and bringing so much light and joy to those around you. i'm glad you're here.

and if i check my watch, i do believe it's loving lakemojave hours now, so hopefully some other people will chime in too~

- 🐉 (someone may have already taken the dragon anon powers but it seems long and wiggly like this ask so I'm borrowing it)

Lol no one has sent me enough anons to claim an emoji tag even once ur good.

I don't even know what to say honestly. I'm in the kind of place right now where I can hardly believe that I could inspire any assemblage of words in this amount or order dedicated to celebrating me. The darker parts of my brain say you're lying or just being nice. I wish it was easy to ignore thoughts like that but I'm gonna push through it and say thanks anyway.

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neu-apostolisch · 5 months

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As for Gale Discourse Cont., I think it’s also necessary to point out that he’s written as a Comedic Relief character. He unironically says stuff like “pish posh” and is voiced by a well-known (in England) comedian. Unfortunately, because this is a DnD based game, every character you interact with the most needs to be complex and have a tragic backstory and I have a theory his romance arch is heavily derived from Mr. Darcy from the 2005 Pride and Prejudice movie. I mention all of this because I am absolutely a Galemancer, and I had a bit of a turmoil about the interview myself until some other tumblr user (I can’t remember who) made a post about this. Seeing Gale through the lens of “oh he’s a silly little guy made to be the butt of all jokes but surprise! he has so much depth anyway” helped me take a breather and have fun with it again. Sorry this got rambley.

ok if you're rambling then i must be reading the dictionary. i think this is a good point to make, especially as an addition to the concept of how the writers view gale. and crucially, i don't think it really undermines people who found more depth in his character. because on some level this is true for every character in this game-- they're all an awkward trope and they grow as the game continues forward and you learn more about them. i'm glad that this perspective helped you re-enjoy the game!

a view of him as The Comic Relief Guy (and Arrogant Wizard) aligns with how the writers are talking about him, and a lot of characters can be viewed chiefly as narrative tropes. so, if galemancers and gale fans can bear with me here, i'll poke at that idea for a bit and why i think it's a good point to make within this long winded thesis i've been developing for two days.

wyll is probably the most obvious to start with in this trope analysis. he is objectively in the party, the voice of reason and a Good Guy. he will unambiguously support whatever the most like, goodhearted, positive, hero-type outcome. so we can classify him that way. i mean, his background is folk hero. then, you travel more with him and his story winds off in its own direction.

astarion is that foil to lawful goodness, and is presented as such. however, astarion also serves an important role in that he introduces one of the first instances of a potential party conflict to you. managing and understanding his vampirism is important to his character and to your party cohesion, at least in a roleplay sense. astarion is also meant to be a character that can frustrate you. think about the people who take bloodless, which is a literal stat negative, for him to be happy. that's an interesting trade that the writers are having you make, and in order to cure bloodless you have to use a spell slot. mechanically, this is the role he serves in the party narrative, and it's up to you the player to decide what you want to do with that. and then his story goes off in its own direction.

i could go on and position other characters in this stripped down way, but it's probably unnecessary.

with these two examples in mind, looking at Gale through this lens, i think he has a bunch of really important functions in the narrative and in the party dynamics. and similar to wyll and astarion above, you can come to view him beyond his initial trope. the biggest hurdle to his development is that his story is fundamentally integrated with the plot of the game. so, on some level, the narrative is unable to develop further on him because he still has that role to play. he has to still be able to kill himself even when the player has convinced him that his life matters because he is stuck in that narrative structure forever. he IS supposed to be the annoying guy who takes your stuff and eats it. you're supposed to have those moments of "oh no, what are supposed to do about this" just like lae'zel in the creche or with kithrak voss, breaking wyll's pact with mizora, and astarion's deal with raphael to kill yurgir. sometimes your companions make you do things that are really annoying.

but-- and this is the key-- gale's story doesn't have as much freedom to move beyond that, which is a fair complaint, even if there's not actually that much to be done about it in the grand scheme of things. (and i think this applies to lae'zel too, i just don't want to get too off-topic. and unfortunately i am not as familiar with her story, which is orin's fault.)

hopefully this comes across as me using your ideas as a springboard for my own, and not me twisting your words or hijacking something you said. i think that's an interesting perspective and thanks for sharing your thoughts!

#gale dekarios #gale bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #asks #bg3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #larian critical #bg3 critical

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wegonbealright-09 · 7 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/wegonbealright-09/731704995863494656/do-you-know-what-makes-me-really-angry-with-the?source=share

I just want to disagree with this anon in 1 small way. JK is very touchy with members like Hobi and Jin maybe even more than with Tae or Jimin (probably because of shipping though post 2021 JK started leaning into the fanservice). Meanwhile Jimin is also super touchy with all the members - like the skinship and comfort he and Hobi have is just on another level. And have we seen how Jin and Tae act on stage together sometimes? That is peak fanservice right there. Nobody tell me Bangtan don't do fanservice at all because that's a lie. But why is only Jimin being targeted by the brain dead losers of that ship?

It mostly stems from homophobia imo. Most of the people shipping tkk aren't actually all that ok with same sex relationships (a fun little experiment you can do is see how many people who ship tkk overwhelmingly come from countries where same sex couples aren't well accepted and are straight themselves) - they just don't want to see the person they're thirsting after with a woman so they'll pair him up with his band mate instead. But that 'safe' pairing gets destroyed when there's an actual queer person around and that is why Jimin is their target. Because he doesn't spend all his time posturing as some super straight d*uchbag or keeping his distance from his friends and is most probably bi, so his very existence acts like some threat to these people which is only exacerbated by the way (let's be honest) jkk act sometimes.

This story isn't unique to tkk. I'm telling you this exact storyline of the 'powers that be' keeping a secret couple apart and their girlfriends / wives being evil hired accomplices is a storyline that is copy and pasted over every crazy fandom including the 'clues' the secret couple send fans. Here it's tkk, somewhere else it's Larry, another it was the Supernatural actors, ditto for the actors from Glee, and pairings from BL dramas of course, and other KPop 'couples'. It is hilarious and sad that they repeat this same story over and over again with little variations. The variation here is that in other fandoms they channeled misogyny to target these people's real life partners and here they use homophobia to target their real life friend.

One last thing - another anon mentioned that it was these ships that was holding Jimin back from achieving his peak popularity and while it doesn't help, I'll again make the case that the root of people hating on Jimin is homophobia. The minute someone says he looks like a girl, or he's too flirty or seductive or that his voice is too high pitched - just know that's just code for I don't like queer people who don't project straight. Sometimes they'll just be more subtle - there's something about Jimin I just don't like. We all know what that something is b*tch.

And secretly I've always wondered if the reason JK was selected as the primary one they'd push inspite of Jimin being so popular is because he passes as straight (he probably is straight but I said passes because I don't want to assume). After all who is Hybe's decision makers except a bunch of old men who only care about money.

Anyway sorry that this ask became so long and rambley!

And boy did you rumble!

This whole ask picked my brain on something and I am going to make a post about it when I get my pc back I can't type long paragraph with a cellphone it's exhausting

And boy did you spill anon

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bonesbuckleup · 2 years

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Do you have any advice on how to learn from writers you love? I've read a few books recently that are absolutely spell binding but not in a way I'm currently capable of mimicking. Do you think there's a way to pick out what it is we love and then practice it in our own stories?

Oh, bud. Oh, bud. OH, BUD. The way this ask has been making me positively rabid all day with wanting to answer it. Fun fact--this is a hill I have died on, am currently dying on, and will continue to die on for my entire existence.

Short answer: Yes. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. What you're describing is the oldest model on earth for learning how to do any artistic undertaking: you look at what the masters are doing; you think that you would like to do that thing; you learn the rules; you replicate, replicate, replicate, replicate; once you've mastered the rules, you break those rules to create your own style. Painting, writing, musical instruments, woodworking...this is the most classic of classic ways to learn a craft.

Long answer: Number one, anyone doing anything remotely creative should listen to what Ira Glass has to say about the creative gap. I kept trying to type up an answer to this ask, and he says in 2 minutes what I was taking thousands of words to try and describe.

Under a cut! And I'm sorry, it's very rambley, but I really think I could teach an entire semester class based on this concept.

The thing is, the way you go about picking out what you love and figuring out how to do it yourself will vary widely depending on what you want to replicate in your work. Dialogue, general plotting, vibes, mood, setting, character...all of these have slightly different ways you can go about them. I could probably write a book on this topic. I tried to boil it down to a few ideas:

Identify what it is EXACTLY that is drawing you to that particular book, short story, writer, etc. There is no room here for "I don't know, I just love it!" It might be the overall mood of the story. It might be the way characters are depicted. It might be the way the writer puts a sentence together. It might be how they use really plain language and then just SMACK YOU IN THE FACE with a sudden lyrical sentence. It can be anything. It might be small, like a specific 3 lines of dialogue. It might be big, like the way the plot is put together. I had a professor who called this the "gravitational pull," which is a part of the story you are drawn to the most. There can be multiple of these in a single work, of course, but the important part is to be explicit and direct in pinpointing what they are.

Rip apart the thing you love. Violent? Yes. Necessary? Also yes. Once you've identified what it is that's your gravitational pull in a story (and it's okay if there's more than one, just work through them one at a time), it's time to figure out how they work. I tend to be fascinated by how plots fit together, the if-then of storytelling, so I end up spending a lot of time making outlines of other people's books. (Fun fact: using a classic three act structure, Twilight is an almost mathematically perfect plot). Figuring out how things work can take a while, depending on what aspect you're looking at. If it's a character arc, you might plot out the main scenes and shifts that character goes through, then identifying the specific moves the writer made to take them from Point A to B to C to D. If it's something like style, such as the way a sentence is phrased or the way the language works, write down your favorite bits and figure out what, exactly, it is that you like about them. What's the draw? How is it functioning as one piece in a whole?

(One warning for ripping apart the thing you love--once you start reading like this, it's really hard to turn it off. You'll be perpetually diagnosing and dissecting everything you read. It takes a really good book to make me not do this, but even then, once I realize my analytical brain was quiet for a while? It gets kicked into overdrive, because a book that makes Analytic Brain shut up is a really fucking good book, and I want to know what makes it tick. ANYWAY. Be warned.)

Read a metric fuckton. Read the kind of thing you would like to write. Read the opposite of the thing you would like to write. Read fiction and non-fiction and fanfiction, and figure out how they're similar or different and what the rules are for each. My favorite books all combine bits and bobs from different genres (Legendborn by Tracy Deonn is such a banger of a book, and it's basically if Arthurian Legend met Beloved by Toni Morrison and took place on a college campus which is a bizarre premise but it WORKS SO WELL).

Write "In the Style Of" Pieces. Another professor of mine had us read several stories by the same writer all in a row. We identified the things that made them That Writer's style. So, for instance, JD Salinger: he has short sentences, very plain language, tends to have a page break/vibe shift approximately halfway through his short fiction, and often has some kind of shift at the ending. I think. It's been 10+ years since I read one of his. THE POINT IS: we identified the things that made a JD Salinger short story a JD Salinger Short Story. We looked at them and figured out how they worked. Then our assignment was to write a JD Salinger Short Story using the themes and style ticks that he used. We also did this with Denis Johnson (lyrical prose about very un-lyrical situations), Flannery O'Connor (Catholicism and people being shady), Raymond Carver (a rant for another time lmao), and a few others who are escaping me.

Were my pieces anything like the greats? NOPE. Not at all. I definitely fell short. But! There were a few things I learned from each of them, including things I didn't want to do. I think knowing what you don't want to do in writing is almost more valuable than what you do want to do, but I'm getting off topic. By forcing myself to write in a style completely alien from my own, whether or not it was good writing, I started to figure out what my aesthetics are, what I want my voice/writing/style to look like, how I wanted to structure stories, and I learned that from taking bits and pieces from some of the masters. This is an exercise I still sometimes do: what would this story look like if Neil Gaiman wrote it? Leigh Bardugo? Karen Russell? Tamora Pierce? How is a story by CL Polk different than one by Kazuo Ishiguro or Douglas Adams or Cornelia Funke?

Steal Widely and Mercilessly. Fiction is stealing. Anyone who tells you differently is lying. I got into grad school with a story that boiled down to "what if Leonard McCoy was drafted into the Vietnam War and had to decide to dodge or not?" My grandma had a saying about babies--hope for a girl and love what you get--which is more or less the basis of a major character in the novel I'm finishing up. We all steal. We're all thieves. There's a difference between stealing and plagiarism, obviously, but like...I love the way Rory Power balances dialogue and action, and sometimes I read and use her stuff as a structure model. I used the plot breakdown of Hunger Games for that same novel I'm finishing up--it is nothing like HG, but the pacing was relevant, which is learning while running. Whenever I'm about to write a garden scene, I reread bits of Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman. Like. Steal. Do it. We all do. Fiction's a grab bag and we're all out here grasping at straws. We're not stealing things verbatim, because again, plagiarism, but like...you like Zuko from atla a lot? Cool, grab his general character and put him on a space ship. You think the concept of Bruce Wayne is fun? Neat, what's he look like on spring break and broke and named Carl? You heard someone say something truly unhinged on the bus? That happened to a friend of mine, and her book came out from Simon and Schuster a couple years ago and the unhinged thing is still in it.

Make writer friends. I don't necessarily mean accomplished writer friends, though that's fine too! But the most valuable writer relationships and critique partnerships are with people and who are on an even-ish level to your current writing status, whatever that is. Because sometimes it's really, really hard to articulate what you love about a thing that's working well, especially if you're new to this practice. However, it can be much easier to recognize what isn't working well. That's the true secret of writing critique: it's not always to make your writing better, but to teach you how to talk about what you like, don't like, is working, or isn't working in any particular piece of writing. Plus, then you have a buddy to commiserate with, and that's always a necessary component of writing.

Write a metric fuck ton. Once again, I reference Ira Glass on the creative gap. You churn through enough words, and eventually you look up and realize your words have gotten better. I know a bunch of writers, and you want to know the difference between the truly talented and "gifted" ones and the ones who hustle and grind? Over the years, the ones who work really fucking hard and put a bunch of words out (versus being precious and going after perfection) have published more widely and are producing more interesting, compelling work than the "talented" ones. Almost every time.

One final thing: the moments I hate my writing the most are almost always just before a level up occurs. It's like a boiling point. So those times you really, really hate everything you do? You might be close to a break through, so do not give up. Keep going.

And, actually, I lied. I'm going to end this with a few of my favorite books about writing. None of them I love 100% all the way through, but the all had bits and bobs that I've found useful in how to dissect stories and diagnose what you like or don't like about them:

Story Genius by Lisa Cron

Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott

Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert (very woo woo but honestly a feel-good favorite)

Story by Robert McKee (A BRICK. Technically about screenwriting, but it's useful for classic structures like the 3 act, a hero's journey, etc)

Steering the Craft by Ursula K LeGuin (when I say that I would die for any word UKLG says about writing...ugh...love her.)

I hope something somewhere in this answered your question, and honestly, thank you for giving me an opening to scream about this specific thing, because it's one of my favorite rants to have.

#politicalbloodtea #ask #writing #god this is so rambley #I hope something in here is useful for you #please feel free to come poke me for clarifications because my brain also happens to be made of beans today

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