Everyone's favorite dork (x)

I AM SO GLAD I'M STILL ALIVE FOR ALL THIS

thinking about ye hyunwoo again. chapter 621

"Anytime that you suppress a part of yourself, it's going to overflow."

if tumblr isn’t giving us a recap i guess we have to do it ourselves!

1. 1,043 notes - Aug 3 2023

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Created by TumblrTop10

YOU'RE GREAT!!!!

You're right, I forgot that ask.

But it's even better to discover it now!

GORGEOUS! I LIKE THE HAIR, THE EYES, THE SHINE OF HER SKIN AND HOW THE VITILIGO LOOKS LIKE THE TEARS/STRINGS MARKS UNDER THE EYES

Thank you for this beautiful sight.

-anon

ANONNNN!!!!!

man i did not expect to see you so soon again :'D buddy how are you doing??

and waaa THANK YOU!!! your words mean a lot >:')c <333

BREAKING NEWS, RED MARKETS FINALE IN PROGRESS. LEECHES EATING ME FROM THE INSIDE OUT. MORE TO COME AT 7

I think visual kei is the longest obsession I’ve ever had. It took me 11 years to finally be chill about it. xD I’ve reached a point that I don’t care much about the scene, never seeing them live, missing releases like...this year I’ve managed to slowly detach.

Ever since I was a little girl, my favorite musicians were my life. They gave me a voice, a purpose and a dream. I wasn’t a casual listener, I was the kind of girl who needed to see them as much as possible, listen to music like 6 hours a day, if not more, my walls were always full of pictures of them, I always talked about them...they were my life. And even after getting into visual kei, I didn’t drop any of my previous favorites, I just wasn’t as focused on them as before. With previous artists I felt my enthusiasm was fullfilling and healthy, an energy boost, an inspiration, a place where I felt understood. It was sth I loved, people I loved etc. (and if you are one of those who think you have to know sb very well to love them, get the fuck out of my blog, I know what I felt and if a person can hate sb at first sight, they can love at first sight too. Yes maybe what I loved was 90% illusion, but I believe 10% was actually real cause, no matter how much a person likes to appear perfect and always friendly etc, cracks will always be there). Anyway visual kei felt like more than that to the point I really thought it was destiny to actually work with them (cause I’ve always wanted to work with my favorite artists, I just switched from wanting to go to the USA to Japan after a while being a fan). And you know what, it was fun as long as it lasted. It took me out of the dark, pulled blades away from my wrists, it kept me sane, lead to writing 2 and a half books, it lead to finally getting my hands on photoshop and honestly becoming a better person. But yeah those things aside, I realized that the goal-part was another lie I built to feel I belonged. In reality, it was another lesson in life which, once I got it, it had to go.

I’m closing 30 and I have not much passion for art or music anymore. It was painful forcing myself understand my dreams were silly, but the peace I feel now makes me think I finally made it. I can now look at their photos of the past with nostalgia and not feeling like I failed, cause it was never for me in the first place. I kept seeing people travelling there and being able to see them and, some even got chances to work with them, so I wondered wtf I was doing wrong. It was eating me alive and I desperately wanted sth to work but well...it’s all gone now. ^^

Currently I don’t have any goals but I know some old stuff came back. As a child, besides trying every artform I could get my hands on while listening to music, I also played a lot of games. We had 3 drawers and 1 cupboard full of videogames at home and I feel like I am slowly getting back to that. I limit myself only to genshin now, for sure, but I watch more playthroughs again of games I don’t have and maybe soon I will try getting a console to try more stuff, who knows. I also started watching anime again, which I had stopped for a few years.

Oh well, regardless of what the future holds, I am thankful to all those people who dared chase their dreams and inspired me do the same, my lovely musicians, even if I eventually got nowhere, and I will keep listening to their songs from time to time. And posting their pics cause nostalgia. My only complaint is that I spent the past 10 years of my life being upset that I lived in a house that didn’t allow me have posters on my walls (fucking humidity and mold ye see) and now that I can and my room is healthier, I have nobody I want on my walls. xD I will fill it with Genshin and anime characters xD.

That moment when you're lying in bed, sideways, lights off and looking at your phone, when you suddenly see something vaguely bug-shaped move through the small area on your mattress next to your face that's lit up by your phone screen and nearly jump out of your skin as you scramble to turn the bedside lamp back on. Only to find nothing there.

That growing feeling of unease as you check the mattress, the pillows, the floor, the shelves, the walls, heck, the ceiling, even if you didn't hear anything fly away, literally everywhere you can think of because you need to find whatever this was because otherwise that light is gonna stay on. Lying back down kinda creeps you out and you suddenly feel itchy all over and need to check you clothes and your hair to make sure nothing's on or in there. Your dog is sleepily looking at you like, c'mon, please turn the light off, I'm trying to sleep here! I'm sorry, honey, any minute now, I promise, I just gotta freak out a bit first because there's nothing here and did I just imagine it??

The overwhelming relief when you decide to once more lift your mattress to check underneath and see a thumbnail-sized spider running past you. Never before has the sighting of a spider been more welcomed. You lower the mattress, pray to the universe that little Spidey Gonzales won't disappear on you again, and go get your Spider Extraction Kit aka a small glass and a piece of thin but sturdy cardboard that you keep around for that exact purpose. You return to the bedroom and lift the mattress to find that the universe has answered your prayers and proceed to extract the little fella from your apartment and into the shrubbery outside.

You go back inside, lock the door, head back to bed, turn off the goddamn light and listen to your still-racing heart, waiting for the leftover high of the adrenaline rush to fade as you once again stare at your phone and hope that there won't be any more surprises like that tonight. And that what you saw really was that spider that you took outside. You still feel phantom-itchy for a bit longer.

Spent a lot of time this week thinking about the inherent vulnerability of being loved and was hit with the overwhelming realization of how much love I have been surrounded in and refused to let myself experience thanks to my own deep insecurities.

our blooming youth if the romance was centered around jaeyi and garam >>>>>>

me, shaking the Wingfeather finale like:

Return of the King, the Old Guard’s back together, the boys are back in town, etc etc etc, I’M SO FUCKIN FRAGILE Rishi class quests my beloved. Dad’s back dad’s back dad’s back

an update on Bones!

THANK YOU FOR SENDING THESE TO ME ANONS I'M GLAD BONES IS ALRIGHT

IT'S A SHAME ABOUT HER PARENTS :((( BUT AS LONG AS BONES IS OK <333

wait wait your wife DOESN'T hit your head with cash? 🤨

hahaha so upsetting, eh? although she did just head out for a haircut & while she was leaving asked if i needed any cash??? so perhaps a little smack could be in my future?

fingers crossed 😏💸