#i'm open to a calm adult discussion if anyone wants one
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Forbidden Romance
Summary: You are in love with Prince Thor. He will soon be King and is hosting a ball between Kingdoms so he can find his future bride. Unfortunately, the Kingdom of Asgard is not ready to accept the Chief of the Royal Guard as the new Queen.
Warnings: inappropriate language, use of violence and adult content in the future of fanfic. some characters belong to the Marvel universe and others were created by the author.
AO3 link chapter two
Chapter One
A calm morning awaits you as you don your attire of the Kingsguard. The duty calls to you. Guarding the safety of the great son of Asgard is an honor. The challenge is to leave your personal feelings aside. Damn was the moment you fell in love...
"Are you sure it won't be strange for you escorting your little boyfriend to a ball designed for him to find a future wife?" Loki quips as he strides into your room without any ceremony. You brandish your sword at the level of the rejected Prince Loki.
"It's conversations like these that make me know I should hit you every time you come to my room." You speak while holding the sword tightly. Loki walks away, smiling a little too much for those who seem afraid of you.
"I came in peace. Thor asked you to stop by his room before leaving to give instructions to the Kingsguard." Loki says, laying down under his bed and swinging his feet playfully. You roll your eyes reproaching him but I understand that it's good that he's helping you and Thor.
"You know if you tell anyone about this, I'll rip your tongue out of your head, right?" You say it knowing that he'll probably enjoy you hurting him but that he would feel humiliated for being hurt by a commoner like you.
"And miss the chance to watch you two fucking everything up when my precious father notices that his favorite son is the one who will bring ruin to his kingdom." Hearing these words coming out of Loki's mouth makes everything even more real. If you and Thor are caught, you will be sentenced to death. And he will be king anyway.
"Tell your brother, I'll see him at the opening ceremony to welcome the leaders of each kingdom and their children." You say finishing and getting ready to go. But to your surprise, before you could leave your room, Thor was waiting for you. Accompanied, obviously, by the guard responsible for his security. You straighten up and bow, paying homage to the future king.
"Lynox, you may withdraw. The chief of the Kingsguard and I have a private matter to discuss." Thor says, looking at you. He scans you from top to bottom, as if he could undress you with just one look. You would like to live in a world where you could reciprocate with him. But we're not in that world.
"With all due respect, Your Highness, Lynox can witness our conversation. After all, as the second-in-command of the Kingsguard, he should be informed about matters concerning your security." You say, looking seriously at Thor and Lynox, who is unsure whether to leave or stay to listen to the conversation.
"Lynox." Thor says, and that's all it takes for Lynox to leave us alone. In the kingdom, Thor's word is only second to that of his parents. Soon, you and he are staring at each other.
"Are you proud? Your word holds more weight than mine in every corner of the kingdom. Want to test that with someone else? Your brother is in my room right now. Want to try to get him out with just a command, Your Highness?" You're upset because when you and Thor started to see each other as more than just royal guard and royalty, he promised he wouldn't walk over you.
"Dove…" He speaks so softly. His eyes watch you as his arms draw near. Thor then pulls you close to him, embracing you tightly.
"You enjoy doing things that put both my position in the Royal Guard and my life at risk. And I'm a fool for accepting it without a fight." You say, lifting your face as Thor looks down to meet your gaze. As you lock eyes, you slowly lean in towards the future king's face, being kissed by him shortly after.
"I'll talk to my father. Try to delay having to choose a wife. Or you could…" He begins, but you already step back, knowing what he's going to suggest.
"Become your mistress?" — you are revolted by the possibility of becoming the King's mistress— "To be the woman who sleeps with the King when he's not with the Queen?" Thor looks regretful about what he was about to say. You, however, look at him determinedly.
"You will never be a mere mistress to me. We could have a family together while the queen and I can have a semblance of a wedding." You laughed at Thor's foolishness. In fact, you were even afraid that Asgard was in the hands of a foolish prince.
"My love...shut up before anyone can hear all this nonsense. I'd rather die in battle than be the woman you cheat on your wife with." You say leaving disappointed with reality. This reality makes you know that you will always be just that for Thor. A head of the Kingsguard or a mistress.
You are a little shaken when you hear a noise and go after it to find out what is happening. A man dressed as royalty stands in the middle of the kingdom's trophy room. He is not known to you, you find his presence strange but you know you need to be polite when questioning him.
"This room has restricted entry. Only Asgardian Royalty can enter here. How did you manage to get past the Royal Guard?" You question using the most serious tone of voice possible. You hold tight to the tip of your sword that is attached to your waist. The man looks at you as if enchanted.
"I think the Royal Guard is busy preparing for the arrival of great royal representatives from the main kingdoms allied to Asgard. Are you usually so straight-faced with everyone?"He asks turning towards you.
"One more step and I will be forced to attack you. Tell me who are you?" You ask, almost wielding your sword, as a way of threatening the man in front of you.
"I hope you can explain to the King how you treat visitors. But since you insist on knowing, I am Steve. Son of King Tristan, future King of Kyrax." He speaks with such petulant calm. It's like he knew you would regret being hostile towards him.
"Your Highness could have told me you were a prince from the beginning. I hope you know that my approach was just security protocol. I will leave you alone." You speak cordially, trying not to show how embarrassed you are.
"However, I prefer your company. " He says as he watches you walk away. You turn around almost abruptly, confused by his revelation.
"I don't know how things are in your kingdom, Your Highness, but here commoners and royalty don't usually keep each other company unless it's essential." You speak keeping a safe distance between you and Prince Steve. Something useless since he doesn't know personal space and quickly got too close to you
"The Commander of the Royal Guard is right, Believe me, she avoids spending time alone even with me if it's not necessary." Thor says, entering the trophy room and staying close, but in a professional manner. The tension between the two is palpable and you mentally prepare yourself for what's to come.
#thor odinson x reader#thor x you#thor odinson#thor masterlist#thor smut#thor odinson x you#thor x reader#female reader#loki laufeyson#jane foster#marvel fanfic series#marvel characters#Spotify#lady sif#odin#asgard#forbidden love#reign au#kingdom au#steve rogers#steve rogers x reader#heimdall#queen frigga#james barnes#pietro maximoff
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s2e6 rewatch notes - part 1
I'm breaking this up over two days (for length, clarity, and my own mental health) - I pause and scribble my way through scenes as I go, so there may be a few repeats here and there.
Natalie's bereft face in the opening, attempting to disassociate but failing miserably because that's not her coping style. She obviously doesn't even smoke by the way she's holding the cigarette, she just does it because - much like working inside a commercial kitchen - it's the only legitimate excuse for a break from the chaos. Both she and Mikey act like they've just exited the fog of war (because they have) and - unlike Carmy - they've never had the emotional or material means to escape it.
Sugar's "No one can make anyone else act a certain way" comment to Mikey - it's very clear that they perceive mental illness from very different angles. Mikey admonishes Natalie for her check-ins as an attempt to blunt/control Donna's outbursts, and Sugar's skepticism of Mikey's strategy of just riding the lightning/ignoring the outburst (while acknowledging that he and Carmy have more success, but she attributes most of that to being the female middle child of a grievously ill female narcissist).
Carmy coming out = a hot mess of family dynamics. He asks Mikey (innocently enough) to come in and handle the crowd by being "fun cool guy" and Mikey assures him that he will, but with a vacant look in his eye (no wonder this man was on drugs, what other choices was he afforded?). Fak is literally yelling indistinctly inside, upping the chaos, as Richie bursts outdoors amidst the three siblings to ask if "there's any family shit going on that he should know about".
Along with just trying to be ok themselves, these three adult Berzattos are a magnet for every other wayward adult-child who needs a home to reckon with their own trauma, and their inclusion becomes their problem as well and only ups the frequency of the despair. Mikey literally makes space for the three of them by dismissing Richie "for a minute", and you can tell that's not normal protocol.
"Would it kill you to pick up the phone?" - Carmy is already wounded by Mikey more than 4 years before his death. You can immediately tell by Mikey's earnest response (along with his previous discussion with Sugar) that he was just keeping Carmy at arms length to ensure he never returned, to spare just one of them from a life of hardship. In spite of everything else we see about Mikey and how poorly he manages his trauma in this episode, he is an inherently good brother who started early in inciting loathing in the person he loves above all others just to save him.
I wanted to peek behind the "Our Mother of Victory, Pray for Us" bit, as you know damn well it wasn't selected by Storer by accident. The whole idea is that Mary, the Mother of Victory "pleads our cause with a mother’s heart and concern with whatever we bring her. Confident that Our Lady’s prayers are always heard we pray"
I may be reading too much into this, but that's a whole fuckton of power projected onto Donna. Even though it's said in jest, its maternal compassion and mercy that was never extended to the Berzatto kids. It could also be seen as "only Donna's prayers are heard and answered" (through the placating and emotional gymnastics performed by her children) so they utter this little prayer to her as much as they do to God - for control, for relative calm, for the day to simply be ok. They know better than to expect much more than that.
What is the actual point of Fak and Ted? I mean this narratively. I know that the Ricky actor who plays Ted originally worked on the set of The Bear in S1. Did the producers think they had an awesome "boys club" vibe and just plop them in as chauvinistic comic relief? Or is this part of a long-con? Do Fak and Teddy embezzle all of The Bear's money and retreat to Hawaii or something? Right now it's giving "Matty Matheson needs to sell more cookware" and I need a reason for this set-up, as the rest of the players offer more than enough relevant chaos to the episode.
Also, when they ask "Mrs. B, are our skateboards in here? Can we sleep over?" as Donna is cycling in the kitchen - Matty Matheson is in his 40's, so he time-traveled back to a rough-looking 35 to freeload off of his fake-besties Mom and aid in her spiral? I don't get the age timelines/ideas on what arrested development in this show are anymore....
"Say the fucking words" - ooof. I feel like a lot of ink has already been spilled on what the word "love" means in the Berzatto realm, but no wonder Carmy can't comprehend it even when it's right in front of him. Love to him is sacrifice and struggle, panic attacks, pacifying meltdowns, idealization and inevitable betrayal (hello other shoe!), and just saying the word because it diffuses an argument - not unlike rubbing one's chest.
So....what's the likelihood that the abusive chef at EMP is just a projection of Donna living rent-free in Carmy's head at this point? The way she lobs the ball at Carmy with all of the elements that need to be swapped when the timer goes off, the practical matters of running a high-pressure kitchen trailed with jests and insults and total emasculation. Yeah...I think it's pretty high up there.
The second Richie and Carmy trade off the homemade Sprite (before Carmy can grab the prosciutto and mortadella that his mom asked for 2 seconds ago) is just enough silence for Donna to feel abandoned and start unravelling again/start screaming about moving the pot. I can't quite place my finger on the weird amalgam of mental illnesses they gave this woman (hit me up, psych majors) but if its not over-scripted/acted, its a lot.....
Richie and Mikeys "Just take a break from being a mopey little fuck" - phew, these dudes really think that a high-school chick will be Carmy's salvation.
"I don't have a love of my life?" Carmy doesn't even flinch or show recognition of who they're talking about at first, and then it dawns on him that they've probably embarrassed him and he wants to crawl in a hole and die (which is the most honest feeling expressed this episode to date).
And wow. Donna intercepts the whole thing by throwing a spoon at Stevie and screaming "Richard, bring her the fucking pop!" - a.k.a the title of the previous episode with the house party. Those words ended the gang's harassment re: Claire, but then future Carmy willingly waded right back into the abyss of thoughtless conversations, bullying, projections, others' expectations, and the terrible Christmas.
Ok, that's it for now - I'll be back on my bullshit tomorrow.
#the bear fx#the bear season 2#the bear spoilers#the bear#carmen berzatto#carmy x sydney#carmy berzatto#mikey berzatto#sugar berzatto#the bear fishes#syd x carmy
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I have been debating if this is the place to ask for advice, but I need help with a problem.
For context, I’m a recent graduate from uni and gotten a decent paying job and currently renting a flat with a roommate. I still keep in regular contact with my parents and make a point to go to them or they visit for Fridays supper. My issue is my dad scaring off partners I have.
For context, me and my mum are Homo sapiens (which did make me wonder if I should message here) but my dad is a giant.
Now, I never had an issue with it and I’m fairly open about that with friends and some co-workers when they see the photo I have at home, though most ask if he still has the “I’m the dad that stepped up shirt” (he does) more than him being a giant.
The issue is recently whenever I invite a partner over to meet my parents, my dad always scares them off with things like casually showing his sharp teeth or how ‘fragile’ said partner is to him.
Now I know my dad isn’t a violent man, but that’s little comfort to my partners.
Everytime me or my mum tell him to stop, he just says “I just want the best for my little girl” and “if they ran off, they weren’t right in the first place”. Which only makes me think he still sees me as a child, not helped at times when he picks me up like when I was in primary.
It’s frustrating as it does feel like I’m trying to argue with a brick wall. Is there any advice to help out?
I'm very glad you decided to write in, listener. The advice given on this blog, and indeed on our radio programme, is intended for anyone struggling with issues related to the liminal world.
Not only does that not preclude sapios like yourself from writing in, but in fact, intergenus relationships and how we interact with others unlike ourselves are among the most common sort of question we receive.
So, to your question. I think you're right that your dad's behaviour is more in line with an outdated view of you as “his little girl”. Many parents find it difficult to navigate the transition from taking care of their children as children, and taking care of them as autonomous adults.
The issue isn't that he wants to help keep you safe. It's that his specific behaviour in this case is inappropriate.
There are three points at which you can address this behaviour: before, during, and after. When you are planning to bring a new partner home, find some time to speak to your dad one-on-one and tell him about your concerns.
Avoid making accusations here. Tell him that you're excited to bring your new partner to meet your family, but you're concerned that they might not be made to feel welcome. Let him know that you understand that he loves you and wants the best for you, but that his behaviour is actively upsetting you.
You can also discuss with your partner and your mother about how you are all going to react if your dad does indulge in this bad behaviour during the meal itself.
During the dinner itself is no time to launch into an in-depth, emotional conversation. Your dad will be in no mood to listen, and there's a risk he'll feel pushed into a corner and react poorly.
Instead, you, your mother and your partner should react to his behaviour as you would to anyone being unnecessarily rude in public. Stay calm, and give him a moment to correct himself – preferably a good, chilly moment. If he doesn't take the opportunity to smooth this over, ask him outright, “Do you know how that comes across?”
With any luck, he'll catch on and apologise. If he doesn't gloss over the moment with all the awkwardness you can muster. If he tries to defend himself, change the subject. Don't worry about making him feel uncomfortable – discomfort can be extremely educational.
After the meal, leave it a little while before bringing it up. I'm not advocating you give your dad the cold shoulder. If you would usually communicate in this time period, by all means, do so. But don't launch into the conversation all at once.
When you do bring it up, again, you want to remain calm and communicate clearly. You know your dad loves you, and wants the best for you. You want him to be part of your life and that means spending time with your partners. But his behaviour is making that difficult. Hopefully, this will be enough to convince your dad that he would do a better job of looking after you if he stopped throwing his weight around.
At the end of the day, though, you can only control your own choices, not his. If he insists on carrying on in this way, take steps to limit the possible damage he can do. Instead of introducing him to your partners early on in the relationship, wait a while. Concentrate on getting to know your new partner, and strengthening your bond with one another.
Then, when the time comes to introduce them to your family, you can rest easy in the knowledge that your dad can show his teeth and flex his muscles all he wants. The only thing he's going to achieve is making himself look ridiculous.
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WELCOME TO MY BLOG :D
💙🩶🤍 Fic/Drabble/Writing Requests: OPEN 🤍🩶💙
Hello there y'all! You can call me Blueheart or Silver, and welcome into my humble abode! I enjoy reading and writing fanfics within various fandoms and about characters that I enjoy (although i am open to leaving my comfort zone and broadening my horizions).
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Some things to keep in mind while visiting:
• I am a very nervous person, so I will likely run away if I get too overwhelmed. I promise it's not you guys. I just need a minute to calm myself and reboot. Please try and be patient with me.
• I do enjoy tickling in both a SFW sense and a NSFW sense. Although I will likely keep the NSFW part to myself and away from this blog. I apologize in advance if I make anyone uncomfortable.
• I do not enjoy talking about IRL tickling and teases. I am strictly a fictional enjoyer when it comes to tickles. In addition, I am not comfortable RPing with anyone about tickling, fictional or not.
• Please make sure that my writing requests are OPEN before sending anything in!
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BASIC INFORMATION
💙 Willing to write SFW and NSFW-ish things (ex: bondage/restraints, slight torture, etc.) We can discuss.
💙 I would like anyone wanting to make a request to do so in my ask box when it is open. I just feel like it will easier for the both of us and make me less nervous.
💙 I will write for the fandoms in my fandom list, although feel free to ask me if you are unsure. I might forget to add some.
💙 I am willing to write for a variety of ships excluding certain things such as incest or adults/minors. Be sure to check out my Will Not Write List for those that I will NOT do. I will also write both platonic and romantic pairings.
💙 I am not interested in writing Character x readers. Sorry y'all!
💙 I reserve the write to decline prompts or requests at any time. I shall try not to do so but I promise I will let y'all know if I decline one.
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WILL WRITE:
• Tickling, Fluff*, Angst, AUs*, Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Depression and topics similar to those.
• Ships: Just about anything unless specified. Please feel free to ask about anything else!
WILL NOT WRITE:
• Feet tickles*, rape, self-harm and possibly other heavy triggering topics.
• Ships: Kiyoko/Yachi, Ukai/Takeda, Shirofuku/Suzumeda, Akane/Alisa, Tsukishima/Yamaguchi, Hiyoko/Mahiru, Toko/Komaru. Possibly more to be added. Please feel free to ask about anything else!
*Fluff: I'm not THAT confident in my ability to write it but I shall try my best!
*AUs: I don't like writing for certain AUs, nor do I do well with a vague idea. Please feel free to ask me about it though!
*Feet tickles: Self explanatory. It just ain't my thing. Sorry to disappoint anyone.
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FANDOM LIST:
• Haikyuu
• Danganronpa (THH and SDR2 preferably)
• Pokemon (Currently obsessed with Sword and Shield. Mostly into it for the pokemon)
• Ace Of Diamond
• Obey Me (Original and Nightbringer. Not that far into Nightbringer. I don't really mind spoilers for either)
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ANDDDDDD THAT IS ABOUT IT Y'ALL. THANK YOU FOR READING AND PLEASE ENJOY YOUR STAY HERE!!!!!!
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Well admitfedly I'm not doing good. Someone told me that I expect everyone to cave to my will and whims and the whole family has to walk on eggshells for me because of my issues (depression and anxiety, and being mostly nonverbal when upset because I need time to calm down first and put my feelings into words. Which isn't to say I don't want to revisit it later, like a mature adult, bit right now, I can't. I think it's because I have autism but I haven't gotten tested. I did get tested for and diagnosed with ADHD though. Have tried 2 different prescriptions but haven't found the right ones yet. Just pucked up my mood stabilizers for my vipilar depression this morning.) And this family member that said so expects to discuss things right away. I am not allowed time to process my emotions. This has always been the case growing up till now. He told me that he understands I have issues but he is just trying to bring me into reality. This really stung and made me feel like I am a selfish awful bitch who ruins everyones days and I need to just lock myself up at home and never leave again because I make everyone's lives worse, so I went inside and pounded the fuck out of my head and leg yelling at myself that I'm fucking worthless and awful and will never amount to anything. I scrarched the skin off my arms, hit my head while crying driving home several more times, screamed out loud to myself "you'd be fucking better off dead!" And went inside, collapsed crying on my bed, and was thinking the entire time "this is exactly why, because you are THIS. You are so fucking stupid and broken and sensitive. You're selfish and you're awful and you don't deserve to live. You'll never matter to anyone, nobody can ever love you, you'll never be better. You're mentally unwell and need to die" so I dialed the suicide hotline but hung up. I broke open my bottle of alcohol (not usually a drinker, last drank from home on New Years when playing video games with some friends, which is just a week under 6 months ago now), chugged straight fdom it, chopped all my hair off, and am crying in my bed now.
I have therapy in 2 hours.
And I just feel like shit. I hate myself. I believe I need to die. I don't think I deserve anything good because I AM sensitive, and acting this way only proved his point. Leading up to this I was already having really high anxiety, and struggling to get through the day, just waiting to get home and clean my camper (what I'm living in) and pet my cats and work on some art and learn Japanese. I just needed to go home. But he pulled me aside to say this to me 30 seconds before I could go home. And I just feel like I'm such a worthless piece of shit.
I have also been struggling to eat for the last 6 months, and battling the depression. I can't go in the store if there are more than 3 cars outside because it makes me too tense.
I just hate myself. One million sperm and I'm the loser that came out. What a fucking joke. What a fucking waste. I'm so sorry my mom carried me for 9 months. That poor woman deserved better.
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I don't know if anyone remembers but in the first semester there was a guy that failed me on my exam kind of on purpose, clearly out of spite. And I'm not saying it in like "profesors bad, boo hoo", no I'm serious.
He asked me the "one question". I wanted to be on the safe side and thorough, I elaborated, I aced it. But he decided "lol, nice try bitch" and asked me for something which 1) 'appeared' and was discussed on our first class. First class I didn't attend and 2) from what I've learnt later - *DIDN'T* actually appeared on any of our class at all. So to know the answer I'd have to either be psychic or be super into paleography (I'm not). Essentially guy decided to punish me for my absence with a cheap shot like a fucking asshole. And when I called him on that and told him, he can ask me something else he said "I would rather not".
So the same guy just snitched on me, 2 fucking weeks before end of academic year and now the head of my department is asking me "if he can help somehow".
Bitch, I don't fucking know, get off my dick? I've been clear and open about my depression, it's y'all who decided to not give a fuck, don't play stupid with me now.
The 'I care' act 1 week before summer session is fucking ludicrous, you cannot be fucking serious. You're out of your fucking mind if you think I'll be explaining myself to you now. The audacity is really astounding, I'm just not sure if it's the hill y'all wanna die on. And what fucking help you can offer me? Me busting my ass to pass everything in September? Your suggestion is laughable. I am laughing right now. I'll be repeating this year one way or the other, y'all can go fuck yourself with cactus. "Care about students' well being" my ass.
Like, guy didn't even think to talk to *ME* about my absence, like normal adult. He sees me every Monday. I don't know, calm them hormons? If I buy ya cotton candy, will you stop your temper tantrum?
Bitch
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My Two Cents
So I’ve been keeping an eye on the discourse going on (read: fandom wars) today involving someone who’s very opposed to smut of characters who have been aged up from their canon ages. I’m not gonna call anybody out and I’m not gonna tag anybody because getting into discourse wars isn’t my cup of tea.
That being said, here’s my two cents on that:
I feel like it’s creepy and inaccurate to equate actors to their characters.
If your argument is “you can’t write mature fiction about these characters even if they’re aged up in the fic, because the actors are still young teenagers,” then what I’m hearing is essentially, “I don’t know how to separate actors from their characters.”
Actors are not their characters.
Let me just say that one more time: actors are not their characters.
Actors are real people. Characters are fictional constructs. And yes, while characters are portrayed by actors (at least, in on-screen fandoms), that does not mean that they should be treated as the same concept, nor that a character is only their actor and nothing else. A character - again - is a fictional construct. Made partly by the writer/creator, partly by fandom. Characters go way, way beyond just “here’s what this actor who portrayed them once looks like,” and I feel like this fandom in particular has a little bit of trouble with that sometimes.
Ofc, don’t be creepy or inappropriate towards actors - especially young actors. Just don’t. I don’t think there’s any real disagreement on that. (Or at least I really hope there’s not.) Don’t ship real people together; don’t be creepy to them; don’t be writing inappropriate things about actors (no matter their age - actors are real people, not characters, and I feel like RPF is kinda 😬, but that’s another discussion so I’ll table it).
But also, I feel like it’s a little troubling when people are like “well the actor who plays this character is a teenager, therefore the fictional character will always just be a teenager as well, even as the character ages and grows, and even if you’re writing about that fictional character years later in their life, I’m still gonna imagine the character as a young teen.” Like... If the fic is set years later, and it’s very specifically, explicitly about the characters (note: characters, not actors!) when they’re older, and you’re still imagining the young actors, I really feel like that’s on you. Because that story was not about children; it was specifically about aged-up characters, and if you insist on imagining them as their young actors, that’s probably on you.
If you’re reading about characters who are aged up, and you’re still imagining the 14 year old actors who played them, maybe consider that you’re the one being creepy.
Also: if you’re not a fan of smut, no problem. You don’t have to read it. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea. And if you’d really rather not see it at all, that’s chill! The block button exists for a reason. No hard feelings to anyone if you go ahead and use it. Tumblr should be your safe space, and if you don’t want to see adult content (or adult content of certain ships or whatnot), that’s totally up to you and there’s nothing wrong with keeping it off your dash. I’m not at all trying to bash anyone who doesn’t really like smut. However, if you’re misrepresenting people and yelling about how they’re encouraging smut of minors when their content is actually all aged-up and none of it is about minors at all, maybe chill just a little.
Protect minors? Yes, absolutely. Always. Go out of your way to bash people because you can’t separate real actors from fictional characters? Probably don’t.
#i'm open to a calm adult discussion if anyone wants one#i thought about tagging this with ships for a second and then i was like mmm maybe not lol#i said i was open to an adult discussion not that i wanted to start a fresh war#my two cents#fandom on fandom
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The Missionary's Daughter
Ch. 1: "Meant to Live"
Need to catch up? Prologue: "It's Over"
Chapter Song Inspo: "Meant to Live" by Switchfoot
Series Song Inspo: "Changed by You" by Between the Trees
Pairings: Drake Walker x OC (Margot Hughes); Liam Rys x Riley Brooks
Series Warning: 🛑 for mature audiences only (🔞); series contains angst, language, NSFW🍋 material; trigger warning: heavy discussion/depiction of drug and alcohol abuse, suicide, religion, mental health; please be advised and exercise discretion
A/N: When I say that this took a village, it would be the understatement of the century! Huuuuuuuuge thank you to all of my amazing sweet writing sisters that encouraged me and helped me pull this together, but especially to @charlotteg234 for brainstorming and mapping this out with me, @kat-tia801 for doing the same, but then having to deal with me incessantly asking, "Does this sound right?" and @chemist-ana FOR GIFITNG ME MY FREAKING AMAZING MOODBOARD! It's SO beautiful, and it literally puts me in the mood to write about my Druggy Drake and Margot! Thank you so, so much, friend! Most of the characters and some of the plot belong to our friends at Pixelberry.
A palpable crackle ignites the sterile air of the staff locker room. To say she was ‘nervous’ is a painfully severe understatement to the jitters that spark from her fingertips. But, rather than dance chaotically like cut wires on pavement, she is lightning, mesmerizing, lighting up the sky with excitement and power.
***
Dressing for another Monday morning at her weekly volunteer job at the prestigious Cordonia Family OB/GYN, Margot Hughes swiftly shimmies a monogrammed ceil blue scrub top down her curves. Pulling her brilliant strands of autumn harvest into a high bun, she slips on her work clogs while nudging her locker closed with her knee.
Before leaving the changing area, she catches her visage in the mirror, the unflattering fluorescent lights casting more shadows onto her worried features. She can feel the rumble of her rapid heartbeat echoing in her ears; her chest constricts tightly as her breathing becomes shallow. Her eyes begin to sting with fear as the whites burn red, threatening with a glaze of tears.
Today is the day her entire life will change; everything she has ever wanted, everything that she has ever worked for will suddenly determine the course of her future in a single moment. Seeing the all-too-familiar terror in her eyes, Margot flutters her eyelids shut. Her fingers nervously trace along a simple chain around her neck until they finally grasp tightly to a dainty sterling silver charm: a cross.
“Take my anxieties, Lord,” she whispers with prayerful conviction, her sparkling blue eyes gracefully opening to look at her necklace. She exhales deeply. “Your will be done.” Margot stares at her reflection for a few more moments, focusing on her breathing to calm her restless heart. “You are strong, Margot. You've got this,” she affirms herself in a hushed tone, a bright smile breaking across her face. “This is your day--" suddenly overwhelmed with peace, a joyous smile paints across her face. Chuckling to herself, she glances upwards: “I'm counting on You.” Taking a deep cleansing breath, she eagerly exits the stillness of her thoughts, and joins the bustle of the morning's clinic appointments. Today is her day.
***
Halos of blurred auras bleach his vision as Drake cautiously opens one blood-shot eye. His tongue sticks to the roof of his roughly parched mouth as he massages his pained forehead. Clueless of what day it is--much less what he did last night--he is greeted with a sudden glorious sensation: a supple wet mouth on his hardened morning length.
His body relaxes back onto the dampened, disheveled sheets of his bed; he releases a pleasurable exhale as he blindly reaches for the head behind the lips. He strains to focus his view, but can only make out a foggy shape of a nude woman with long, tousled brunette waves.
It’s her. His love.
Drake smiles; delicately tangling his grip in her strands, he admires how even the afternoon sun catches her beauty perfectly. He quietly smacks his lips. He can still smell her on his stubble; he can still taste her on his tongue.
Had she told Liam? Were they celebrating that they could finally be together?
As she takes in the head of his girth, he arches his back, relaxing his body into her hungry touch. Closing his eyes, he offers a guttural groan deep in his chest as she swirls her tongue around his firm thickness.
“God, you’re incredible, Riley--”
---
Pulling out a pen, Margot reaches across the counter to grab a patient’s clipboard--that is until Iris, the front desk manager grips her long, manicured nails to the other side of the particle wood. “Miss Mary-Margaret,” she leans in conspiratorially, lowering her voice, “do we know anything yet?” Margot chuckles, shaking her head. “Child, you better come find me the moment you know!”
“Only if you promise to start calling me ‘Margot’” the young blonde jests, opening her client’s chart.
“How about I start calling you what we’ll all be calling you in just a few short years: ‘doctor’?” Rosy pink swirls splash across Margot’s face, warming her cheeks to the touch. She bows her head coyly at the mention of her dream becoming a reality. The thought that she will soon find out if a medical career is in her future makes the twenty-one-year-old’s heart leap with unbridled excitement.
For as long as she can remember, Margot has had a strong desire to serve and help other people. Much of that selfless attitude was instilled into her heart by her own parents. They were called to be Christian missionaries when Margot was only eight years old. After much planning, church fund-raising, and prayer, Roy and Mary Hughes left their comfortable home of Lafayette, Louisiana, and settled in the small Mediterranean country of Cordonia.
Many of their friends and family were shocked that the church would send them to such a beautiful area of the world. Typically missionaries humble themselves to serve the needy, the homeless, the lonely and the sick. They sacrifice the luxuries of home for the sake of loving humanity. They help people in war-torn countries, third-world countries, countries that don’t have electricity or running water. But, this country?
Cordonia itself is a lavish nation, rich in heritage and traditions. And funds. Thanks to the ideal weather conditions, the fruitful soil produces bountiful harvests and exquisite supplies for fine textiles that remain in high demand throughout the world. The Cordonian government, a monarchy, discovered a new opportunity to expand their wealth in the late 19th century: costly tariffs to international investors. Within the first ten years of increasing the taxes on exports, the national treasury was not only in the black, but their funds had exponentially increased every year. Farms were flourishing as the working class became larger, stronger.
But, the treasury began to dwindle quickly due to the extravagant demands of the royals. For the first time in the country's history, commoners were wealthier than some of the nobility. Disdain from the upper class quickly ensued until finally, in the early 20th century under the rule of William I, a new tax law was implemented to all of Cordonia: anyone involved with international exchange would have to pay into the treasury to handle such business.
Unfortunately, there were no limitations to this new tax law, and many farms floundered, property ownership being seized by the government. Families were uprooted; jobs were lost, and worse, assets were sold for even more money, filling the pockets of the greedy leaders. The people that once had a plethora of goods at their fingertips were now starving and unsheltered. And vengeful. The Cordonians were outraged by the gouging, many of them forming violent riots, banding together with outside influencers in hopes of overthrowing the government.
On the cusp of a civil war, King William I decided to rezone the country, providing a place for the displaced working class to claim safety and sanctuary, a place that would offer shelter, education, and more affordable options for goods. To appease the people even more, he named the project ‘the Core,’ paying homage to their greatest export, the Cordonian Ruby. It was also a way for him to forever express his gratitude for such a fruitful nation: they were the core reason the nation was thriving so richly.
Like many government-assisted programs, it didn’t take long for the cracks to show in the infrastructure. And with funding cuts over the years, the Core began to crumble, striking a sharp contrast from the rest of Cordonia. The Core, now often referred to as ‘the slums’, have become a breeding ground for crime, drugs, and prostitution. It is the blemish of Cordonia, its existence often not acknowledged amongst the elite.
But, according to the Hughes, ‘God saw the need’. They were sent to serve in the slums of Cordonia, starting up several free programs, including a nightly soup kitchen, afterschool programs to keep children out of trouble, and trade classes to help adults out of poverty. The people accepted the help and adapted quickly to the missionaries; but even more importantly, they embraced these Americans as their own, many of them forming important and lasting relationships with the Hughes.
But, still there was something missing, something that burdened the missionary’s oldest daughter: healthcare. Having good health and access to a doctor is still treated as a privilege in Cordonia, and time and time again, the curable were disabled or buried. A change needed to take place. And Margot, although unsure of how, knew she would devote her life in making it happen for the Cordonian people.
As she makes a few notes on her clipboard, an olive-complected arm stealthily reaches around Margot, gracefully grazing her sun-kissed skin before gently placing a cup of piping hot black coffee in front of her. Staring at the hand, she instantly knows who it is. And she titters, playfully rolling her eyes. “Tadd! Another coffee?” She grabs the coffee, twirling on the ball of her foot to face the clinic’s young ultrasound technician. "My tab must be over a hundred euros by now!"
"Oh, don't you worry about that," he chuckles, rocking on his feet. “Plus, I figured with your new gig at Bríki--” he jovially shrugs his shoulders.
“You figured what?” Margot playfully punches his shoulder. “That I could sneak you free coffee?” She gives a mischievous smile, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t think Mr. Pavlis would appreciate me offering free drinks, especially since I haven’t even started yet--”
“That’s right!” Tadd eyes widen. “Today’s the day--!”
“As if I didn’t already have enough to be nervous about today,” Margot’s voice becomes shaky, as she clenches her teeth in a forced smile.
“Hey,” Tadd’s voice turns into an endearing whisper. He shifts his head until his piercing jade eyes meet Margot’s baby blues. “You have nothing to worry about. We both know you did well on that American doctor test--"
"The MCAT," Margot stifles a laugh, rolling her eyes into an appreciative grin.
"Whatever," a crooked smile grows across Tadd's handsome features. "And as far as the coffee shop, you're a fast learner. And a hard worker. Plus, if they see what we all see in you--" he sighs, his gaze never breaking free from hers, "-- they're going to love you."
Margot looks down at her feet, hugging her clipboard tightly to her chest. Feeling her palms begin to sweat, she coyly looks back up at her dear friend. "Thanks, Tadd."
After a few silent moments of staring at each other, Tadd clears his throat. "So, um--" he starts, "have you heard anything yet? About the test?" Tadd changes the subject. Margot shakes her head as she takes a pull from her coffee. "Well, when you do, um, maybe we could, I mean, I thought we could--"
Suddenly an intercom buzzes overhead. "Thaddeus to exam room four. Thaddeus to exam room four."
Tadd furrows his eyebrows, looking to the ceiling before resting a kind half-smile back on Margot. "Duty calls," he nervously sighs as he bounds down the hallway. Halfway down the corridor, he spins around to face Margot. "Hey, um, come find me! Before you leave at noon!" He finger-guns the air before returning to his pursuit.
Margot awkwardly finger-guns him back before smacking her forehead with the palm of her hand. "Seriously, Margot?" she mutters to herself, turning her attention back to the central desk of the clinic; however, she realizes quickly that the attention is all on her.
"When are you two going to make it official, Miss Mary-Margaret?" Iris chokes in the midst of her belly laughs, nodding with other scrub-adorned coworkers.
Biting her bottom lip feeling her heart flutter, Margot straightens out her demeanor, becoming stoic. "I--I don't know what you're talking about--"
"Margot, isn't it obvious?" Chimes in a jolly intake nurse. "That boy loves you--!"
"Who? Tadd?" Margot feigns innocence. She fixes her attention to the chart as she scribbles down more notes. "It's not like that--I mean, we're not, um--" she sighs. "We're just friends--" An instant roar of laughter abrupts from the reception desk, making it impossible for Margot to hide her toothy-smile paired with her scrunched up nose.
"You say that now, baby girl--"
"That's right," chimes in another giggling co-worker, "friends for now!"
An older plump nurse places a tender hand on Margot’s hand, a knowing smile spreading across her face. "Some of the best relationships come from friendships, moró. Give it time. Let the love grow," she winks at Margot.
Margot fidgets with her pen, delicately licking her bottom lip. She then tries to form words with her mouth, but no sound is heard. Her pink cheeks reveal she is flustered. She quickly closes up the chart, pushing loose hairs behind her ear. "Have a good day, ladies."
Hearing the squeals of her coworkers diminishing behind her, Margot quickly escapes into an empty exam room. Closing the door behind her, she leans against it, looking up at the textured ceiling tiles. She can feel the butterflies in her stomach bouncing through to her heart as her legs wiggle with weakness like gelatin.
The idea of 'falling in love' excites Margot, an idea she has dreamed about ever since she saw Baby meet Johnny. But, so far in her young life, she has never experienced it first hand, let alone a romantic hand- hold. Was this love? All she knew for sure was today was not the day to figure it out.
***
As soon as Riley’s name escapes his breathless moans of ecstasy, a searing sharp pain instantly ignites around his hardened girth. And Drake sees red.
"Fuck!" He lets out a guttural roar until no sound comes out of his mouth. He gnashes his teeth, trying to breathe through the agony, but only froths at the corners of his lips. The veins in his neck and his forehead protrude violently as streams of tears roll down his face. Petrified to move, his face turns a deep ruddy color. Before turning violet.
A sudden sensation of relief washes over him as the stabbing sensation fades to throbbing. Drake nervously looks down at his softening cock, relieved to see his member in one piece. "Goddamnit, Brooks," he pants furiously, "you fucking bit me--"
The brunette quickly tosses her curls out of her eyesight right before her fist meets Drake's jaw. "Oh, shit!" The cracking of the joints in his face echoes around the room. Drake starts to gently massage his chin. "You're not Riley--"
She climbs off of his body, standing her naked body in front of him. "No shit, Sherlock!" She slinks her short black spaghetti-strap dress over her dangerous curves before hastily grabbing her clear platform heels and racing out the door. "Fuck you, Drake Walker!"
***
A heartless, cocky laugh pours over the phone speaker. "Shit, Walker. Just--" the baritone voice trails back into a fit of laughter.
"It's not funny, Leo--" Drake warns, accidentally shifting his weight in bed, stirring a soreness to his recent injuries. "Ow!” he sucks air quickly between his gritted teeth, “fuck!" he whimpers to himself, adjusting the cold packs on his genitals.
"But you actually called her a different name, bro. A different name! With her mouth on your salami, your pocket rocket, on your--on your anaconda--" Leo's words fade back into cackles.
"As if you remember every goddamn hook-up’s name--"
"Dude," Leo interrupts, "if she's going to go all hungry, hungry hippo mid-blowie, I'm going to remember her name."
Drake scoffs. "Bullshit--"
"What? I'm serious, bro" Leo's voice becomes sincere. "All of these bitches we meet are looking for one thing--" he pauses dramatically for his wounded friend to finish his sentence; but the silence proves Drake is clueless as to where Leo was going with this. "A connection, Walker!" Leo's voice drips with conviction. "These women don't want to feel like they're disposable, even though--" he chuckles to himself, “let’s be honest: we’re doing them a favor--”
"--’A connection’, Leo" Drake interrupts, urging the conversation back on track.
"Right! ‘A connection," reaffirms Leo, circling back to his point. "Now, okay,” he knowingly titters, “I can’t remember all of these names--”
“Ha! See?” Drake barks.
“--Which is why--” Leo enunciates over Drake, “I use a single pet name. ‘Girl’.”
"'Girl'? That’s your trick? You call them 'girl'?" Drake raises an eyebrow in disbelief.
“Hear me out,” Leo continues. “If you call them something like ‘baby’ or ‘sweetie’, it can be seen as patronizing, that you’re clearly looking to smooth-talk your way into their pants--” Drake rolls his eyes, moving the phone to his other ear “--but now, calling them ‘girl’, I’m showing I want to be a friend, that I just simply want to connect. And then when you’re having your way with her, call her whatever the fuck you want as long as you finish the name with ‘girl’. Good girl. Dirty girl. Naughty girl. Sweet girl. Or in your case, hungry girl--”
Drake clears his throat, stifling a laugh. “--That is the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard--”
“Hey!” Leo interjects. “Who is wearing a bag of frozen peas on his one-eyed trouser snake?”
“Touché,” Drake sighs. “So, where are you right now?”
“With Jason up at his shop.”
“Who?” Drake lets out yawn, looking at his bedside alarm clock.
“Shit, Walker, you really were fucked up last night," Leo sighs. "Jason. You met him last night.” Leo’s voice lowers into a whisper. “He helped you get fucked up last night.”
“Oh! Right, right,” Drake rubs his head, “that was--wow, that shit was--”
“Good, right?” Leo finishes. “Hey, come join us at his shop. We’ve got coffee, and he’s got some new, um, product he’d love to show you--”
“Oh, Leo, I don’t know--” Drake removes the melting bag of vegetables from his lap. Gently lifting up on the waistband of his boxers, carefully inspecting his bruised parts.
“Does Liam have you working today?”
“No, no, it’s not that--” Drake hesitates.
“Oh!” Leo knowingly exclaims. “Does Riley have you working today?” He begins to chuckle. “You might need to let her know that you’re currently indisposed for --”
“Leo--” Drake warns.
“Then what's the hold up?"
Drake glances over at the mirror affixed to his antique dresser, but he doesn't recognize his own reflection. There's an emptiness in eyes, an inexplicable turmoil overcoming the man he once was. How did everything get so complicated? How did he get to such a place that it's better to be absent in life than to live it?
She was just a friend--at least that's what he convinced himself when Riley Brooks first caught his eye. Beautiful. Extremely witty with a fight he had never seen before. When they first kissed, he swore it was a mistake. Hormones. It had been so long since he had touched the delicate petals of a woman's lips.
But, this wasn't just any woman. It was her. And he soon would find himself wrapped up in her bedsheets, wrapped around her finger, wrapped in an awful web of lies.
And, all of his transgressions were against him, his very best friend, the man he regards as closer than a brother, his closest ally and confidant. Normally, Drake would turn to Liam in a heartbeat with any troubles, but this? How could he? How could he talk to Liam about his own devastation when the truth would devastate Liam?
It's been four days since that fateful night of Liam's coronation, four days since the love of Drake's life walked away from him, forcing his hand into harboring secrets from the crowned prince. It's been four days since Drake heard his own voice in his head, four days since he's been sober enough to even think. Even though he deemed the temporary escape necessary, the sudden twinge of discomfort in his groin makes him realize that taking another hit right now is the absolute last thing he needs.
"I think I better stay put," Drake answers, combing his fingers through his disheveled tresses.
"Suit yourself," Leo jovially retorts. "If you need any oxy for your boo-boo, hit me up--Oh, and Drake?"
“Hrmmm?”
"Her name is Whitney."
"What?"
"Jaws? You know, the bitch who chewed on your Moby Dick?" Drake sighs heavily, regretting that he ever told Leo what had happened. "Her name is Whitney."
Drake furrows his eyebrows. "Now, how do you remember her name--?"
"Oh, bro, you don't forget WAP Whitney--oh shit, you probably haven't gotten a good look at your sheets this morning, have you?"
With a grunt, Drake ends the call. “Fuck me,” he mutters under his breath. He carefully gets up, waddling to grab his clothes before heading to the bathroom to get ready for the day.
In the middle of splashing his face with cold, soapy water, Drake's phone rings. Grabbing a hand towel he carefully saunters back to his room, answering the call without hesitation. "Just let it go, Leo--”
"Drake?"
An icy chill shoots down Drake’s spine, freezing him in his steps. He knows that melodic voice anywhere, a voice that reminds him of early morning sunrises and late night silver moonlit paths. “H-hey, Riley,” he stutters, caught off guard. A brief awkward stillness falls over the conversation. “How are you--?”
“I miss you, Drake,” she interrupts.
Drake’s vision suddenly begins to spin as the air in the room becomes stagnant. Stiffening his bottom lip in anger, his breathing quickens as he reaches out carefully to brace himself against the wall.
“Drake?”
“I’m here,” he chokes out. “What do you want, Brooks?” He can hear the tears in her voice, but he wills himself not to care, he wills himself to not even ask.
“Drake, I think I made a mistake--”
“No,” Drake barks out, “no, you can’t do this to me--”
“Drake, please,” Riley sobs, “I’m on my way to the doctor--”
“The doctor?” Drake’s tone suddenly changes. “Are you okay? Is everything with--um, you know--” he slaps his forehead with the palm of his hand, “--okay?”
“Yes--” she sniffles, “--no. I just, I can’t do this alone, Drake. I can’t do this--”
“Riley--” he roughly says her name to grab her attention, “you made your decision: you chose Liam. You want to raise our baby--my baby with him--”
“Don’t you think I want to have this baby with you? That’s all I can even think about Drake,” she takes a moment to calm down her shaking voice. “I love you, Drake. I want a life with you. I want you to be there when this baby is born, when this baby needs his or her father--when this baby needs you--”
“Riley--” Drake exhales with frustration, pinching the bridge of his nose, “--but Liam--”
“I know, Drake. I know--” Riley takes a deep breath, “Can we just talk? In person? Just so we can figure this out? I can come over there--”
“Brooks, I--” Drake stumbles over his words as he runs his fingers over his coarse, overgrown stubble. Of course, he wants her to come over. And to stay. But, has anything changed? Liam just proposed, and she made it clear what her intentions were. But, still, it’s possible she had a change of heart, and this was a second chance he may never get again. He sighs heavily. “Sure. Okay."
After finishing his impromptu conversation with Riley, Drake realizes he needs to make another phone call. He scrolls through his call history, and clicks the green send button.
"Did you change your mind, Evander Holyfield?"
"Funny, Leo," Drake sarcastically responds. "So, yeah, um, what's the address to the shop?"
***
“Does that--does that say what I think it says?” Margot nervously stammers. "I think I saw my score--oh gosh!"
“Here. Let me look--”
Margot quickly covers the computer screen with her hands, "No, Mrs. Iris!” Margot squeals. “I’m not ready--I’m not ready for this!”
“Child, you have been ready for this for months. Now, if you don’t get your hands out of the way--"
"What's with all the commotion?" A few technicians and nurses pile into the room, each giving an endearing rub to Margot’s back. Everyone begins craning their necks to see the computer, covered by Margot's arms. "Is it time? Have they posted the scores?"
"They sure have!" answers Iris before turning to Margot. She tucks several blonde wisps behind Margot’s ear before putting her finger under her chin. "C'mon, baby," she smiles encouragingly, "it's more fun celebrating than worrying."
"I'm--" Margot takes a deep breath, biting back her tears, "--I'm so scared--"
"--and the Lord knew you would be, baby." Iris wrinkles her nose at Margot, her voice becoming stronger. "That's why He called you to be courageous. C'mon."
Margot bites her lip, slowly nodding her head. Feeling the storm brew in her eyes as the weight of the world sits on her chest, she carefully peels back her hands. Her eyes scale the black and white on the screen, but nothing seems to make sense. A burst of silence overwhelms her hearing, time standing perfectly still. Her only company is the beating of her heart.
Take my anxieties...
You have nothing to worry about…
Your will be done…
Be courageous...
Like suddenly breaking through the surface for air, an abrupt roar of cheers fill the room, shaking Margot from her trance. "Our baby girl got a 519!" screams a tearful Iris, pulling Margot from her seat and into a tight embrace. Other coworkers join in, creating a giant group hug.
Margot remains speechless, shocked by her score. She always knew she was an excellent student, studying hard all through school and excelling in her classes. When it came to the MCAT, she was confident she would score better than average, a score of 500. But, to even be noticed by top medical schools, she needed to score in the top 5%, a score 517 or greater.
News swept like wildfire through the clinic, and shortly thereafter, Tadd and some other technicians filed into the breakroom with a decorative chocolate cake and punch in tow. "I knew you could do it!" Tadd cheers victoriously, offering a chaste hug to Margot. "Dr. Hughes," he swipes his hand in the air as if to paint an imaginary portrait. "It has a nice ring to it."
"I still don't understand why you put yourself through all of that," mentions an older phlebotomist. "Cordonia has a medical school right down the road--"
"Because Margot wants to go to one of the best medical schools in the world," interrupts a deeply demanding, yet sincere voice. “To Harvard. Like me.”
"Dr. Ramirez," Margot smiles brightly, jumping up to greet her mentor with a hug.
"That is, you are still looking at my alma mater for medical school--"
"Yes ma'am!" Margot's eyes light up with the thought that her dream of going to Harvard Medical School is becoming her reality. "It would be such an honor to go there, let alone to follow in your footsteps."
Dr. Ramirez pulls Margot in for another tight hug. "My word, Mary-Margaret, 519?" she presses her cheek to Margot's, "I am so proud of you."
"Thank you, Dr. Ramirez," Margot warmly responds, "thank you for taking a chance on me and helping me so much with my studies and research--"
"You know I did that for selfish reasons, right?" The practitioner stifles a smile while Margot squints her eyes with suspicion. "Cordonia needs more female physicians, and more importantly, physicians that will make a difference in its healthcare," she grips tightly to Margot’s hand, "for everyone. I believe you will lead this country in a health care reformation."
"I don't know what to say," Margot clears her throat as she fights back the tears. "I hope I make you proud--"
"You already do." Dr. Ramirez gently touches Margot's cheek lovingly before turning to exit the room.
"Oh!" Margot quickly chases after the obstetrician, “can I talk to you? Privately?” With a nod, Dr. Ramirez leads Margot into a quiet corner. “I know my work-study ends in two weeks--”
“I know. Don’t remind me, Margot--”
“Well, I was wondering,” Margot chews on the side of her mouth, fidgeting with her fingers, “if by any chance I could possibly stay on?”
“Oh, Margot, I wish I could. Unfortunately with budget cuts--”
Margot shakes her head. “No, no, Dr. Ramirez, I meant if I could stay on, shadowing my usual Monday and Thursday mornings, I mean, if that’s alright. Learn more? Keep up my skills?”
“You want to continue volunteering with us?” The doctor gives an inquisitive look. “Don’t you want to get a job to earn money before you move to the states next year?”
“I already got that covered,” Margot assuredly answers. “I just got a job at Bríki, the coffee shop past the square--”
“Oh my gosh,” Dr. Ramirez’s eyes light up. “Does Aleksi still own that place?”
“Mr. Pavlis? Yes! Him and his son run it together, I believe--”
“They have the best coffee,” she energetically smiles, “now I have another reason to stop by.” She kindly places her hand on Margot’s shoulder. “Of course, you can stay on as a volunteer. Whenever you want, however much you want. It is a pleasure to have you around.” With a squeeze of her arm, Dr. Ramirez turns to go to her next appointment, but stops halfway down the hall. “Oh, Margot? My nurse stepped away to make an important phone call. Do you mind escorting my next patient to the exam room?”
Margot dutifully nods with a grin. She twirls around, bounding for the front desk to grab the chart of Dr. Ramirez’s next patient, a new patient. After making a few small notes, Margot opens the door to call her back.
“Brooks? Riley Brooks?”
*****
Tags: (this is my original tag list for this series; if you wanted to be added or removed, please let me know!) @alyssalauren @ao719 @bbrandy2002 @burnsoslow @charlotteg234 @chemist-ana @choiceskatie @forallthatitsworth @gkittylove99 @glaimtruelovealways @kat-tia801 @khoicesbyk @lovingchoices14 @lovelyladyk88 @lucy-268 @mainstreetreader @marshmallowsaremyfavorite @neotericthemis @nestledonthaveone @sfb123 @shannonwrote @shewillreadyou @sweatyrysconnoisseur @taniasethi @tessa-liam @texaskitten30 @thefrenchiemama @thegreentwin @twinkleallnight @yourmajesty09
#the royal romance#the royal romance au#the missionary’s daughter#drake walker x oc#choices fanfiction#trr fanfiction#liam x riley
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Eren Jaegar x Reader - Being Together for each other - One Shot
(The reason why I sometimes chose an other age as a background of my fictions, is because I like to imagine different eras when my imagination goes wild, lol. I don’t know if you find my following kind of background or my story interesting, but for anyone who will read it, I hope you enjoy. : )) )
•The background of the story takes place some decades after the Industry Revolution. The cities have already been developed, being full of machines and factories.
•That's not only this kind of world that exists though. You and Eren had grown up on a village. Actually, you could say that you two had grown together. Going on the same school, playing together on yards, exploring the woods like you were on mini adventures, etc, you know, stuff children usually do.
•As you two were almost finishing the school Eren had a little bit of a change on his character, like every human being. He was serious all the time and his smiles were more like sadden smiles. It's not that all this was something abnormal. As a human grows, they understand more and observe even more. So, many realizations are not always welcomed happily.
•Eren though had, let's say, a little bit of a flaw. He was giving up easily. He was preferring doing nothing when an obstacle was appearing in his life.
•You and Eren as old teens had spend hours discussing together about life and your problems, while sitting alone on short stone walls, in the nature or while walking.
•Eren had problems with his family. They had many arguments. Those were a big reason why Eren was most of the time gloomy.
•You believed that one day Eren would recover from all of this and that all he needed was time. But this kind of changing wasn't coming. Years passed and Eren sunk into depression. It wasn't visible at first, because it came slowly.
•You and Eren were no more students, but adults who needed to survive. You decided to study to nearby city's University, even though it was something unusual for women back then (but we don't care lol). You were going to city by bus, and sometimes you were also living there. That's why you weren't in contact with Eren everyday and you hadn't noticed that he had "fallen" in a hole that he couldn't escape emotionally.
•At the same period that you were studying, Eren wasn't putting even the smallest aim in his everyday life. He wasn't even starting a job, even to sell products from his family's farm.
•After you finished your studies you got an office job (or whatever else you want) at the city.
•One day you visited your hometown. As you walked the familiar roads of your village you ran into Eren. He was dragging a cart full of woods. His hair had grown a little, which he had pulled backwards, so they could not fall in front of his face. He was sweating because of his work and his clothes were having dirt on them.
•Your appearance surprised him, not only because he wasn't expecting you to be on the village, but also because of your different look. You were wearing a pencil skirt, a buttom-up shirt and heels. You were also resting a shoulder bag around your right shoulder, also holding it's straps with your right arm. You were looking so elegant and beautiful, causing Eren to blush a little.
•You both stood still looking at each other, Eren being at a loss with a slightly open mouth. He opened-closed his mouth slightly and finally spoke.
"Y/N?"
"Hey Eren"
You greeted him shyly, because you noticed his blushed and shocked state. Your eyes looked up at him, and you gave a small smile.
"You have changed"
Eren added with admiration
"Really?"
You asked as you added a small awkward laugh
"Y-Yeah"
He answered while rubbing the back of his neck.
"I'm sorry that I don't greet you properly. I'm full of dirt..."
•Eren added whipping slowly and awkwardly his hands on his clothes. He lowered his gaze down blushing more, because of his messy appearance, while you were there neat, with clean new clothes and your hair obviously made from a hair salon.
"Oh come on now, I grew up on a village, I know how it is, don't be sorry."
You told him while walking towards him.
"I'm going to visit my parents. I would like to greet yours as well, would you like to accompany me?"
You asked him while standing next to him.
"Y-Yeah, of course"
Eren answered and you walked ahead first as he turned his cart around to follow you. As you were ahead his eyes fell on your butt, who was moving right and left, wrapped with your tight skirt.
'That's city life'
He thought to himself, having slightly pink cheeks.
•That day you stayed for dinner at Eren's house. When you were about to leave you noticed that it was raining a lot outside, so Eren suggested you to wait at his home until the rain stops.
•You two headed to his room, it wasn't like the first time you went there. You two had grown up like you were siblings or relatives, that's how close you were.
•When you entered his room you headed to his bed and sat there. You leaned down and took off your heels with your hand leaving a pain sigh.
"Ah.. these heels are killing me. I suffer when I wear them for hours..."
You said while you lifted your legs on Eren's bed, benting them and resting them on your side.
Not only Eren could see your bare feet through your tights, but your painted nails on your toes as well. If that would be possible, Eren would 'nosebleed' at that moment. But he tried to be expressionless, walking on his room like nothing was happening. He took a chair and sat across of you, resting his left elbow at the back of the chair and he also crossed his legs.
"Why you sat so far away?"
You asked him with full of question in your voice, smiling also at him in a way that was showing that you found his state weird.
"Why you didn't sat there?"
You asked him again while looking and pat pat-ing the spot of the bed next to you
"Nah, I'm cool"
He answered by closing his eyes and doing a circle with his hand/fingers with his left arm, in which he is supporting his self.
"No, you are not"
You told him moving your head slightly right and left, with an awkward side smile and added:
"You are acting weird"
"Am I?"
He asked trying to sound natural.
"Yeah"
You answered immediately. But Eren just shrugged and lifted his eyebrows as an answer to show that he wasn't seeing anything wrong. He changed the subject anyway.
"Will you stay many days here at the village?"
"No, I'm leaving tomorrow."
You answered to Eren.
"So soon? Why?"
"I have to go back to work. I just came by to see my family and my closest people."
"Oh, so am I one of your closest people?"
Eren asked you by lifting instantly his eyebrows to tease you, also smirking at the same time.
"Of course, you idiot"
You answered seriously. Eren liked your answer and just stood still looking at you like he was observing your face, or you could say your expression. He then observed all of you, reminding to himself that you look beautiful and more woman than ever. It was like he was having a different Y/N in front of him. Eren was admiring you not only for your change but because you were an independent person who was living alone and working on the city. At the same time he was jealous by this kind of lifestyle and he was feeling like he had been left behind. (The living alone part I know that it may not be realistic for women back then, but anyway I wanted it like that)
•Some months have passed since that day. It was now a cold night of the winter and you were returning home from work.
•As you were walking on the pavement, your eye fell on a man that was sitting down on a narrow pass between two buildings. He was sitting with his legs bented because of the cold and his gaze was down. He was wearing a white buttom-up shirt, black pants and a beige coat, all those clothes in a not good condition.
•For some reason that silhouette was seeming familiar to you, even though he looked like a stranger. His long hair were failing on his face, so it was difficult to see him clearly. But you approached him slowly.
"Eren?"
You asked that man without being sure it was really Eren. Only his eyes met you, without moving. The expression of his eyes was calm and his lips were slightly open, but he wasn't saying anything. How this man with the messy long hair, the grown beard and the sloppy clothes, who was sitting on the city's street like a homeless man, could be Eren? Yet, you couldn't ever forget his dark green eyes and you were sure that man was Eren.
"Eren is that you?"
You continue to ask that man but didn't get any answer back. Specifically, he looked away like he wanted to stop your questions.
"Eren I know it's you, why you don't talk to me?"
You asked him worryingly and scared for his state. You approached him even more and bented your knees so you could come closer to his height.
"Eren.. what's happening?"
You asked him quietly. That man, clearly that it was Eren, seemed annoyed by your questions, more like annoyed because of his state and that you found him like that. He rolled his eyes and turned his head to the right so he could avoid your gaze and he tapped his feet three/four times on the ground, as proof that he didn't like this situation.
"Go to your home Y/N"
He finally said with a low voice.
"Eren! I knew it was you! What are you doing here? Are you alright?"
You asked him obviously worried and grabbed his shoulder as you were talking to him. Eren shook his shoulder so you could let him go, his face still turned away from you.
"Y/N. I said. Go home."
Eren told you in a more demanding way. By the way his voice was sounding, you could understand that he was hurt emotionally.
"No.. Eren.. I don't understand. I can't leave you like that. Tell me, what are you doing here? What happened to you?"
It seemed like he wasn't about to answer.
"It's okay Eren, you don't have to tell me now. But, please, come with me. Let's go to my home."
No answer again.
"You are worrying me sick, you know- Oh my God, what happened to your face? Are you hurt? Did you got hurt anywhere else?"
You bombarded Eren with questions. Your brain couldn't accept what it was seeing and you were let's say shocked.
Eren seemed to have some red spots and wounds near his left eye, which was not visible at first because his long hair were covering them. He couldn't avoid you anymore, you had discovered him at this terrible state and you weren't about to leave.
Once more he was looking away and his lips trembled. His eyes were a little bit red and misty.
"I decided to visit the city.."
He started saying but paused. You were waiting patiently for him to continue.
"I found a hotel to stay for while.."
Eren's gaze was down to the ground having the image of his previous days in his mind that he is describing to you.
"During my stay here...some strangers robbed me.."
He paused again like he was thinking before answering.
"...and hurt me in order to do to that."
You moved your head to your side with a sad expression, feeling sorry about Eren.
"I didn't have money anymore to stay at the hotel.. and we reach at my current state that you see me."
Eren admitted at the end, not liking that he was saying all this to you.
"Why you didn't return home?"
You asked him quietly.
"How could I? How could I present myself to my parents like that? There was no way for me to do that."
Eren said determinedly, looking this time at your eyes.
"Why you didn't try to find me then?"
You asked him connecting your eyebrows worryingly.
"That's even worse. And see me like that? Not that you didn't anyway..."
He answered you, lowering his gaze to his knees.
"Eren.. don't say that. I'm here for you any time you need me. You have this bad habit and never ask for help from the others. Anyone needs help from time to time."
You told him reassuringly with care.
"How come you decided to come here in the first place?"
You asked him to learn more.
"I wanted to find a job."
He answered you
"But that didn't went well"
He added, something breaking inside of him.
"I can't do anything right. Nothing is right. Life is never with my side. Everything gets shittier and shittier, and in the end I'm a fucking loser."
"No Eren, you are not a loser"
You tried to said but Eren interrupted you.
"Yes, I am Y/N! I'm fucking disappointed with myself! I can't even understand me!"
Eren broke out having an indignant expression. You then approached him even more, shoving yourself between his knees and hugging him warmly around his neck. Eren returned the hug, shoving his face on your shoulder. His hand grabbed tightly your coat and he let out a small wimp, tears leaving quietly his eyes.
You put your your right hand behind Eren's head, leaned back a little and touched your lips on his forehead, staying still for a while.
A drunk man that was walking not steadily down the pavement, passed by you two and laughed at himself.
"Lucky bastard"
He said loud enough looking at Eren, because in the eyes of his he was seeing a homeless man having a fine woman between his legs hugging and kissing him. And like that the drunk man lost in the dark of the night.
After your kiss on Eren's forehead you leant back resting your right palm on Eren's left cheek. Eren had a look in his eyes like he had found warmth.
"Eren, you will come now home with me and I don't accept any objection. You hear me?"
You shook a little Eren's face with your right hand as you said 'you hear me' to him. That's what Eren would like to do but he was too embarrassed to follow you. He just stood still having like a guilty look, looking you at your eyes. You could understood what the answer was by his eyes so that's why you said:
"Now get up"
You told him as you stood up first and grabbed him by his one upper limb to give him motivation to stood up.You tried to pull him but Eren let out a pain cry because his left leg was hurt. You did a worried expression looking at him in his face like you were asking him 'what's going on?'.
"It's nothing"
Eren said with pain in his voice and managed to stood still by grabbing your hand. You saw that he was limping so you grabbed his right arm and crossed it around your shoulders to help him stand. Eren looked at you with connecting eyebrows and added
"I'm a total loser"
"No, you are not! Shut up and move your butt!!"
You scolded him and like that you two took the road towards your apartment.
~°~°~°~
•One month had passed since the previous event. Eren is living now at your apartment for a while till he stands on his feet and find a steadily job.
•He even got rid of his beard and decided to have a nice haircut so he would look more elegant. The day he did that change he asked you as he returned home.
"How do I look? Am I better now?"
He was all happy and lively, having a big smile. As he did the questions he posed turning left and right grabbing his suit's jacket.
"You always you look good. But, yeah, you look very nice now."
You answered naturally with a smile and kept tidying some things in the living room that you did before. Eren wanted you though to notice him more and said
"What do you say, would the ladies like me now?"
You did a side smile and turned only your head towards Eren.
"So you came only for the city ladies and not actually for working huh?"
You answered him teasingly.
"Well, I'm just wondering if it's too dangerous for me to go around with that new look of mine"
Eren continued the teasing looking himself in the living room's mirror and getting his fingers through his hair like he was admiring himself.
"Ladies' killer don't forget you have an appointment for your new job in a half an hour. You will miss the bus if you don't hurry."
You told him like a mum. Eren wished you would pay more attention on his appearance.
"I know, that's why I got dressed so nice today."
He said, straightening up the collar of his button-up shirt, still looking at the mirror.
"It would be a pity though to wear my suit just for a short time. Why don't we go out after my interview and tell you how I got the job?"
He said smirking and sure of himself.
"Oh, you are asking me out mr. Jaegar?"
Eren tried to act cool and said
"I'm just asking an old friend of mine to accompany me after my today's success."
He answered still looking in the mirror observing himself, like if he was indifferent. You laughed with Eren's mood because you found his acting cute.
"Then how can I deny your suggestion? I will be ready by the time you return home."
You told him with a smirk. Eren suddenly felt the happiest man on the planet.
•Eren indeed got the job and even though he was working he was still living in your apartment. To be more specific, he was sleeping separately from you, in the guest's room.
• It was supposed though to be like you two have agreed at first, for Eren to live with you until he could stand on his own. But none of you were saying anything about it anymore. You two actually were enjoying each other's company and wouldn't like to be separated.
•One night you returned really tired from your work that the first thing you wanted to do when you would return home was to sleep.
"Hey Y/N"
Eren greeted you from the couch in which he was sitting, smiling as you got home. You let out a 'hey' with a low voice as you were getting off your heels.
"How was work today?"
He asked you and you answered him by just turning your head towards him, showing him your exhausted state.
"Okay, I get it"
He added.
"How about I prepare you a nice warm bath to help you relax?"
He offered to you as he stood up approaching you.
"No, it's okay Eren. I'm so tired even for this. I will just go to sleep right away. Thanks for the thought."
You answered him as you headed towards your room to change your clothes. Then you visited to bathroom to find your brush. As you were combing your hair Eren appeared and rested himself at the doorframe, crossing his arms. He looked you up and down at you with a smile. You were wearing just a nightgown.
"You are beautiful"
He commented and you stopped your motions looking at him.
"Where did this came from?"
You asked him, observing him, having lips that wanted to smile.
"Nowhere. I'm just telling what I’m seeing."
"Well, thanks"
You answered him awkwardly, not expecting the compliment. Your heart started to beat faster not knowing what to do or say. You two stayed silence.
"W-Well, now, w-will you excuse me?"
You said to Eren still awkwardly by grabbing bathroom's door, meaning that you wanted to close the door and go to the toilet. Eren answered with a double nod and lifted his right lower limb to the air like he was saying 'yeah, of course' and turned away. He also rubbed the back of his neck while walking away, feeling nervous.
•As you returned to your room, you shoved yourself under the blankets and your eyes closed right away. Eren appeared by your door which was slightly open, hoping you haven't slept yet.
"Oh, Y/N, I forgot you to tell you. There's some dinner left. I cooked tonight. Your favourite fooood. Pasta."
He said playfully but as he opened the door more he saw that you have fallen asleep completely. You were laying on your back your face turned to the side. Eren approached you, climbing at the bed's side where was some space. You moved a little in your sleep because your sleeping state felt some interruption. Eren stopped moving, looking at you. He saw that your hands were out of the blanket. He grabbed the blanket's edge and he covered you properly. He then took some hair away that was infront of your face and thought 'Now it's my turn to take care of you'.
#eren x reader#eren jaegar x reader#eren yaegar x reader#eren jaeger#eren x you#snk eren#aot fanfiction#aot fic#aot character x reader#eren jaeger fanfiction#eren jaeger x reader#eren fanfiction#snk fanfiction#eren x reader one shot#eren jaeger x reader one shot#attack on titan fanfiction#shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction#attack on titan one shot#aot oneshots#snk oneshot#eren jaegar x reader one shot#eren yaeger x you#eren yaeger x reader one shot
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RWBY's Love Language - Part 2
Hello friend ! I'm back at it with a second part and whatever character I can think of !
(Among which best boy Oscar because he deserves it, and also more adults)
Let's go !
***
Oscar Pine
So ! While I love Oscar with my whole heart, honestly guessing his Love Language is no easy feat. One thing for sure : touch isn't is thing even if it's how everyone else chose to communicate their love.
I saw a post a while back detailing how Oscar is always putting his hands up as a barrier when he's scared or uncomfortable and that makes me cry a little instead but it's true TT. Anyway...
In the latest volumes we've got quite a bit of comforting Oscar-talks but I have to wonder how much of that is due to Ozpin's influence really. As a result I've decided to settle on... Acts of Service or Quality Time ! This is based on a few details : when people are upset with him in one shape or form, Oscar was always very eager to prove himself useful, give some aspect of concrete help (such as cooking a Casserole, ringing any bell ?). Plus I imagine that's the exact brand of help his Aunt would have needed most on a farm.
Added to that, he always seems fairly happy to be included, be with the others no matter what's going on. Training ? Yay ! A movie with Jaune & Weiss ? Smiling puppy look. Fancy party ? Shenanigans together ! So yea, I love seeing my boy loved and hugged but please everyone settle for the loving he's most comfortable with <3
“She made a choice! A choice to put others before herself! So do I.”
“Oh, uh, yeah. I thought you guys would appreciate a hot meal after... spending all day looking for me, apparently.”
“No, it's okay. These past few days, I've been scared of the same things you were. I don't know how much longer I'm going to be... me. But I did some thinking, and I do know that I want to do everything I can to help with whatever time I have left.”
- - - - - - - - - -
Ozpin
For our favorite immortal wizard aka not quite dead Headmaster... I think the answer is rather obvious. When you're so careful with your words, but also so fiercely devoted to humanity, Words of Affirmation is a must. Ozpin constantly does his best to calm, to reassure. He's good at controlling the conversation and getting people where he wants... Except he more often than not use it to make them think and help them reach an healing ore motivating conclusion. This man is so insisten on giving and cultivating hope, so painfully aware of just how much words can change... There's no doubt in my mind that it's through these very same words that he tries to fight the darkness in others' mind, even when they don't want to let themselves be persuaded. And with some help from the farmboi, Ozpin is gaining in honesty and earnestness. And that can only help in giving comfort.
But to be honest... If you offer him a hug I doubt he'd refuse, and he definitely deserves one. Also therapy. For Oscar too.
Everyone in therapy 2k21.
“Ruby. I've made more mistakes than any man, woman, and child on this planet. But at this moment I would not consider your appointment to leader to be one of them. Do you?”
“It's not every day that friends are able to come together like this. Time has a way of testing our bonds, but it's nights like these that can help keep them stronger than ever. Nights like these are ones we'll never forget.”
“Don't worry, Mr. Arc. Your journey is far from over, and the same might be said for all of you. Unlocking your Semblance isn't the end. It can still grow and evolve. Providing you are willing to put in the work, who knows what could happen?”
- - - - - - - - - -
Emerald Sustrai
Now here I'm gonna go ahead and say that the way Emerald has been taught to express her love and the way SHE would rather preffered to be loved most likely do not align. At the side of someone like Cinder, and even Mercury who isn't exactly the most emotionally vulnerable person; the only brand of love that gets an easy pass is Acts of Service, and that's probably what Emerald is the most used to. I can go on a mission with you. I can help. We go right back to the "I can be useful" mentality and I'm not sure she's been shown any other way honestly. Let's be real though : if someone offered a hug or some gentle words ? She'd probably pout & fuss but I hardly doubt she'd object.
“I don't care about Salem! But I owe Cinder everything. You want to fight her that bad? Be my guest.”
“I just... Cinder was the only family I ever had. She cared about me, taught me things... But without her here, I don't know if what we're doing--”
“I've been working on my Semblance. I can help. I won't tell anybody.”
- - - - - - - - - -
Pyrrha Nikos
What's with everyone and dedicating their whole love toward just helping their teammates anyway they can ?! Stop ! But any way, you guessed it. I'm pretty sure one of Pyrrha's top way of showing love is Acts of Service, and nothing means quite as much to her as Quality Time. For someone who's been put on a pedestal and has a hard time relating to people; both touch and words can be a bit awkward. But if they're wrapped up neatly in a training session or semblance explanations ? Well that's already a more familiar area.
Pyrrha gives her whole to her friends and those she cares about. And in exchange, if anyone can simply... be there and spend time with her... May it be at the ball or simply sitting in the courtyard... I'm sure our girl would be delighted.
“Jaune, you know if you ever need help, you can just ask.”
“I'm constantly surrounded by love and praise; but when you're placed on a pedestal like that for so long, you become separated from the people that put you there in the first place. But thanks to you, I've made friendships that will last a lifetime.”
“I'll do it. If you believe this will help humanity, then I will become your Fall Maiden.”
- - - - - - - - - -
Qrow Branwen
If I say Gift Giving for the corvid, is someone gonna hit me ? Come on it's fun ! Okay, more seriously... I think this kind of love conversation is kind of a necessity for Qrow. With a semblance such as Bad Luck, making everything complicated... Qrow tries to keep his distance from those he cares about. And since he's an emotionally repressed (but caring) asshole on top of it... Well that kinda narrows down his option. You know what DOESN'T put anyone at risk but can still bring smiles on their face ? GIFTS. Shiny things, souvenirs from his missions all over the world to give to 2 smol nieces. Sounds safe right ? That said, as any good emotionally unavailable character in this show, I gotta say Qrow probably has a thing for helping out and making himself useful in relation to Oz, Tai or the rest of the inner circle. So you know what that means *whisper* Acts of Service.
That said ! When it comes to receiving some love back... Qrow probably likes everything he doesn't allow himself to have. Soft touches, loving & comforting words, spending time with a friend without his semblance making everything complicated... We know that's all he wants.
“You idiot. I know you didn't do this.”
“Look, pal, I'm not sure who you are, but you need to leave my niece alone.”
“No one wanted me... I was cursed... I gave my life to you because you gave me a place in this world... I thought I was finally doing some good...”
- - - - - - - - - -
Clover Ebi
And among our newbies (and gone too soon) friends we have Clover ! Clover was a very good contrast to our dusty old crow but also a great help. Kind-hearted, perceptive and honest; he knew just how to put Qrow's self-loathing in his place and push him to give himself some credit. He always had a nice word or a joke for everyone, and visibly the rock of the Ace Ops : an expert a keeping the moral up and the mood companiable. Evidently, Words of Affirmation was his expertise. Had things gone differently, I'm sure we'd have had time for many more earnest and helpful conversations with this teal-eyed fisherman.
“It's a good thing they had someone to look up to and get them through it. Not everyone is so lucky.”
“I meant deflect a compliment. Those kids wouldn't be where they are without you. You've had more of an effect on them than you realize.”
“We don't have to fight, friend.”
- - - - - - - - - -
Winter Schnee
And today in the "emotionally unavailable" category we have... Winter Schnee ! TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS PEOPLE ! Just -
I would say look at Ruby but even she doesn't talk about her bad vibes... Nor does any of the "Words of Affirmation" peeps. Honestly what's wrong with y'all people ? Anyway
Winter cares so much. Is it hidden behind professionalism and a stern *big sister* demeanour ? Sure. But it doesn't negate just how much she loves her closed ones. She's fiercely loyal, and even if she doesn't let her personal feelings get in the way of her duty and doing what needs to be done, no one is allowed to say she doesn't care. Countrary to Weiss, Winter doesn't seem as good nor as aware of the love that exists in simply *being* with people. Rather, she's dutiful and ready to help any way she can when given the chance. You guessed it, yet another Acts of Service kind of love... Maybe I'm doing this wrong XD. I'm on the fence about Words of Affirmation as well. Despite her standoffish looks, Winter has always been very open & reassuring during her discussions with Penny. But she's more stern when it comes to Weiss so I dunno x)
“I don't recall asking about your ranking, I'm asking how you've been. Are you eating properly? Have you taken up any hobbies? Are you making new friends?”
“You've grown up a bit, haven't you? You're not the little girl clinging to the family name anymore.”
“You can't just buy trust like everything else! You have to earn it!”
And that's it for Part 2 ! I might do some other characters if people suggest some but I don't have a pressing need to right now. I have many ideas of songs to apply to various characters however so that's prob what my next posts will consist of (or fun templates)
If anyone has tips to create RWBY gifs or links to download the eps in good quality I'll take it !
Good day everyone !
#rwby#oscar pine#emerald sustrai#ozpin#winter schnee#qrow branwen#clover ebi#pyrrha nikos#love language#fair game#love langauges
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Okay...I'll bite. What are you drinking? Oh...so we're going to pretend that you AREN'T just sitting here to see if anyone dares to buy the mysterious curly haired woman a drink?
No you AREN'T...anymore than I am. Otherwise you wouldn't be staring at the bottles on the wall and your phone...while not ONCE looking over towards the door. And if THAT wasn't proof enough, if you WERE waiting for someone to meet you here, then why would you sit against the wall...effectively eliminating the number of available seats next to you?
So where does he think you are tonight? You know EXACTLY who...the guy who gave you the ring that you keep fidgeting with on the chain around your neck. That's actually pretty brilliant by the way. You can tell him in all honesty that you had your wedding ring on all night long.
So here's what I see. I see a woman who isn't feeling appreciated at home, so every so often, she goes out to a local hotel bar to see if she can pique the interest of someone who's only in town for a few days max.
Oh...you ARE? Then why did I see you pull your entire set of keys out of your purse when you got your wallet out? Most hotel guests that I know, myself included, leave as much arbitrary shit up in their room as possible.
So tell me Curly Sue...what WAS it that caused him to lose interest anyway? Did you get a little older?...or gain a few pounds. I might be wrong, but I'm guessing that you suspect the latter. That would explain the pattern of your clothes that break up your shape...and the wild hair that draws the eye up above the shoulders.
So tell me...and PLEASE be honest. When was the last time that someone told you face to face...that they would love nothing more than to see you completely naked?
Wait...so then do all of the OTHER guys just ask if you want to fuck and then take you up to their room?....THAT'S classy. Wait...hold on....you've SERIOUSLY never done this before tonight? Oh...wow...okay.
Well I just have to ask you one thing if you don't mind. How long HAS it been since you've been intimate with a man...whether it be your husband or someone ELSE? Are you KIDDING me?
That is COMPLETELY unbelievable. So let me ask you Curly Sue...what would you say if I told you that I find you incredibly attractive? And what would you say if I told you that I would love to take you OUT of this bar...UP to my room...get you OUT of these clothes...INTO my bed...and then make love to you?
So after a second drink to calm her nerves, she found herself alone in an elevator with a man who's name she still didn't know. As they ascending towards forgivable infidelity, he told her that he was once married to his "forever wife", who just didn't happen to want kids...so he did what they BOTH thought was best and took one for the team. He also told her that he hadn't been active SINCE forever was shortened to ten and a half years, so they mutually agreed right there in that elevator that protection probably wasn't necessary.
They had ALSO discussed the inevitable awkwardness of undressing in front of one another, so it was decided that once they got to the room, he would go directly to the bathroom and take his clothes off...while she did it in the room before turning the light off and slipping underneath the comforter. Then, once she was safely covered, she would summon him to come join her in the bed.
She lay there for maybe only two or three minutes at MOST...before she finally gave the ok...and heard the bathroom door open. Then she watched as a shadowy figure loom closer with every step on that tightly wound hotel room carpet.
As he grew JUST close enough to be discernible as an adult male in those compromised lighting conditions, she gripped the covers tightly and pulled them up to her chin like she did when she was a little girl who was SURE that a monster was lurking under her bed.
He pulled the covers back now...and slipped into this borrowed bed beside her. He positioned himself on his right side with his head propped up by his arm...as his eyes gradually dilated enough to see her lying there in the darkness.
SHE meanwhile...remained on her back with the comforter now down at waist level. She was SO scared. Not because she thought that he was going to hurt her, but because she thought that he was going to LEAVE her...now that he could see just WHAT the strategic patterns of her clothes had kept hidden from him in that dimly lit bar nine floors below them.
He reached out to her now...and she held her breath...like the last land tethered rope of a falling foot bridge. And then he did what she'd been MOST afraid of. He touched her stomach.
Now to be honest...he PALMED it actually. She just lay there swallowing breaths that she had yet to even exhale...waiting for him to pull his hand back like she was on fire. But he DIDN'T. He just continued to anoint himself in the softness of her belly...curiously...almost gratefully.
Next...because he was a man, and presumably to ensure that she WASN'T...he slipped his hand beneath the covers...and down between her legs. She FINALLY exhaled now as he rubbed her tenderly up and down...like a house guest who's happy to patiently wait for you to respond to the doorbell instead immediately knocking obnoxiously.
He drew his hand back from beneath the covers now, and ran it back UP her stomach...again...in no particular hurry. He then acquainted himself with her breasts...caressing them separately...taking the time to massage them in their entirety...NOT just the parts of them that could viscerally reciprocate his touch.
She felt strangely safe with him...which she KNEW was crazy, but it ALSO spoke to what her ACTUAL relationship had evolved into. She just decided to go along for the ride...until he shifted his weight.
The second that he started to lean over her, something snapped, and she instantly saw her husband. In that split second, she remembered ALL of the times that she'd just lay there under him while he did his thing...how it ALWAYS had to be missionary because, as he so eloquently put it, that's when she most closely resembled the girl that he'd married.
But she WASN'T that girl anymore, so she put her hand on THIS man's chest, and to his credit...he stopped still in his tracks. She then proceeded to lie HIM down on HIS back, with little resistance of course, and tossed the comforter clean off of the bed.
She positioned herself between his legs now...and began to suck his cock like foreplay had never been invented. She didn't do it to get him hard, because his apparent affinity for fuller figured girls had already taken care of THAT. And she didn't do it because blowjobs were ALWAYS the opening salvo of ANY decent porno, whether filmed or NOT. She did it because she wanted to go home to her husband that night...and kiss him with the taste of frontier justice on her lips.
As she continued to go down on him, ANOTHER frontier activity crept into the back of her mind. She hadn't done it in years...due to certain weight related insecurities that her husband unfortunately reinforced...but if there was EVER a time, then it was NOW.
So she backed off of him...and crawled up the bed nervously until she was straddling him. She reached down between her legs now...took his cock in her hand...and worked it into herself as she settled down onto his lap.
She began to work her hips back and forth...being sure to keep her back straight so that her lower stomach wouldn't touch HIS. But then he grabbed her by the forearms and pulled her forward, and to her pleasant surprise, his cock swelled even MORE inside of her when he felt her midsection against his.
She just smiled there in the dark...and then began to fuck him even harder...working her pussy back and forth on his strange...wonderful cock...even going so far as to grab him by the hair and demand that he suck on her tits.
And did he EVER. She slowed her hip movement down to a jog now so that she could REALLY focus on the attention that he was paying to them as INDIVIDUAL entities...instead of holding them tightly together and trying to suck on both of her nipples simultaneously...which always made her feel like some kind of human harmonica.
She asked him if he was going to cum soon, and he said something to the effect of "mmmmhhmm"...which was the closet thing that you were going to get to "Yes...I am" from a man with a woman's entire areola in his mouth.
Knowing that she was up against the clock, both the one ticking away deep down inside of his balls...as WELL as the one on the wall back at home, she decided to test her newfound self confidence just a bit MORE.
So she sat back up straight now...and dismounted him...temporarily. Then...she turned around and climbed back onto his cock with her "wide wife ass" right there in front of him...and easily visible even in the darkness.
She placed her hands on his legs now...and resumed her prior hip movements. BUT...instead of a rollicking motion, she RAISED them...and dropped her pussy directly down ONTO him with all of her body weight behind it.
She initially cringed at the loud slapping sound that came from her landing on him, but it was soon drowned out by her very own moans as he started thrusting up INTO her as she dropped...and playfully spanking her beautifully round cheeks.
She was inching closer to the finish line HERSELF, so not wanting to take a single regret back to her ho-hum home life, she decided to do one MORE thing that would have likely repulsed her husband.
She reached behind her...and took this man's right hand in HERS. Then much like she'd sorted through her entire keychain in the dark a thousand times before, looking for the one that opened her front door, she located his middle finger. She extended it...and folded the others down. Then...she told him to put the entire length of it in his mouth.
He did as she'd said...so now she went back to a rocking motion...reached back and spread herself wider than a lady probably SHOULD...and leaned forward just a bit further.
She felt it begin to build the second that his finger entered her ass, so she unhanded herself and gripped his legs once again. She closed her eyes and apologized to the poor woman who would eventually have to clean the mess that she was about to make...and then she raised herself from him...and let the beat drop.
It started as a trickle down her inner thighs at first as she began to fuck him harder...and actually took a second to look at herself from OUTSIDE of the situation. Here SHE was...in a hotel room with a man that she didn't know...naked...with all of her body weight on TOP of him no less...with his cock buried deep inside of her pussy...and his finger in her ass. And he just kept thanking HER.
It began to feel more like a STREAM now, so she knew that it was too late to go back. She reached down deep between her legs...and took his granite hard balls in her hand....while propping herself up with her free arm between HIS legs on the bed.. She massaged them...as her pussy resumed it's physical assault on his cock. She dropped that "big ass" in his lap again and again...as he gleefully stabbed back up into her in response. She tightened her grip on his balls as he began to finger fuck her asshole even deeper.
And then...just as his balls became more pliable between her fingers, the dam down between her legs FINALLY breached...dousing him AND the bedsheet in between his legs...at almost the exact moment that he came inside of her like a forty five year old virgin.
Once they had BOTH exhausted the last rounds of their respective ammo, she fell off of him...and rolled over onto her back with her head at the foot of the bed...still marinating in one of the most intense orgasms that she could even remember. But what she felt even MORE was SEXY...even lying here in this less than flattering view of him...legs agape...and a wet mess. Then...just before she got up to get dressed, she confessed something to him.
"You KNOW" she told him...I have to be honest. My name isn't really SUE." "Hmmm" he replied "Well as long as we're coming clean...you're not the ONLY one who came here tonight looking for a little excitement. I mean...I AM staying here obviously...until I check out in the morning..and make that long fifteen minute drive back home."
She just looked at him...without saying a word. Then she got up...and marched across the room, completely oblivious to what was slowly inching it's way down her inner legs. She came BACK to him now...and threw something at him...which ended up being three one hundred dollar bills.
"I'm not a prostitute" he told her...so you can KEEP your money. Tonight was the first time that I've ever done this." "Oh I know honey" she told him...just before she leaned in and began to lick his cock completely clean "and neither am I" she continued "I just insist that you let ME pay for the room next week. Same time...same place."
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I was rewatching Sayu's confession from Nagi no Asukara Episode 24 (as one does), and it made me realize how much potential that Kaname and Sayu had as a ship... and how much I wish that they actually had a meaningful bond beforehand :'((
Like, their personalities work so well together! Sayu's straightforward nature combined with her sharpness lets see through Kaname's passive, reserved demeanour that he always puts up. And finally seeing somebody with the insight and bluntness to actually call him out, and notice, his internal cycle of self-pity and bitterness and dejection is like... nice, and something that I think Kaname needed—especially considering how with his relationships with every other character in the show, the focus is rarely on him.
That "Stop acting like the tragic heroine!" and "Heroine? Not the hero?" exchange is one of my favourite moments from the confession honestly. Seeing Kaname's attitude and feelings finally being addressed? And through such a fun/witty but also direct remark? And his very in-character response of throwing in a joke about it, despite his feelings and situation? IT SHOWS BOTH OF THEIR CHARACTERS SO WELL AND IT'S SUCH AN CATHARTIC MOMENT AHHHHH
But it's not only that!! We've also seen that, despite her bluntness, Sayu's actually still pretty emotional. She's had quite strong emotional reactions throughout various points in the story (that fight with Miuna, seeing Kaname again for the first time, her outburst when they were discussing Manaka). Plus, she did act pretty shy and self-conscious around Kaname—overall showing that she does feel things strongly and gets influenced by her emotions.
So then with how calm, laidback, and levelheaded Kaname is, I can see him being the calm to mellow out and balance Sayu's intensity, the reassuring steadiness to her turbulence. This element is definitely similar to Kaname's dynamic with Chisaki, with him being the one to always comfort/console her—but with Sayu, she's still perceptive enough for this not to be just one-sided emotion dumping like it was with Chisaki and Kaname. And with her sharp tongue, she's still able to make responses back, which makes these types of interactions between the two of them more engaging and interesting to me.
Like this! He takes in her feelings, provides his own comfort in response, and you can see how she's overwhelmed by emotions as Kaname says he'll start seeing her as a girl his age, but still she responds with the quip of "You're pretty condescending, aren't you?"
And I just LOVE this type of dynamic as opposed to just crying, or flat emotional responses, you know? :""))) Being able to joke and banter amidst the heavy emotions... it just adds such a nice dimension to their dynamic.
And side note, I really like Kaname's response—he's not making any promises to her besides respecting her as a girl his age. Which is fair! This type of response feels so rare in romance anime (not that I watch a lot), and is pretty realistic, in my opinion. A "maybe". Get you a couple from a romance/drama anime who can handle confessions by responding reasonably and NOT running away in tears
And overall, the few moments of heart-to-heart we saw between the two of them during her confession showed a glimpse of SUCH a nice relationship.
[cont.]
Kaname: That big brother you admired is actually just a big kid.
Sayu: Don't go putting words in my mouth!
Like, there's just something about the... sheer sincerity of this, this mutual acknowledgement of the fact that they're both just kids (which is also a really nice touch/nod to the theme of their age difference, or lack of it now, after this and Kaname's response)... it makes me happy for them. This is probably the most open about his feelings that Kaname's been to anyone, the most he's shown the 14 year old boy inside that constant demeanour of maturity and composure he wears—that he was pushed to wear, living with Chisaki and Tsumugu, the literal adults that he had to find himself navigating alongside.
LOOK AT HIM
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME WE'VE SEEN SUCH WARMTH IN HIS SMILE FOR THE ENTIRE SHOW. I'M SO HAPPY FOR HIM.
So anyways, yeah. I think Sayu and Kaname as a pair are amazing for both their personalities as well as the connection they made in this moment. But this brings me to my second thought about this, which is how much I wish that they actually had a meaningful bond before this moment :(
Because the significance of Sayu's confession to Kaname is so great—it was the first time he realized that somebody did care about him after all. But then I think about the fact that Sayu has feelings for Kaname... because he pet her head when she was 9? Like, her feelings obviously stemmed from an infatuation as a kid, one that lacked any real substance. They barely had any important interactions afterwards for the rest of the first half of the show.
And then after skipping forward 5 years, the fact that Sayu feels the exact same way, and the fact that her 9-year-old infatuation remained so strong that it became a factor motivating her to work hard in school? It just... I don't know, these feelings just feel so... baseless to me. Which makes me so sad! Because personality-wise they're such a good pair!
But as much as I want to suspend my disbelief to wholeheartedly love this ship, compared to Hikari x Manaka who've been close friends their entire lives, or Chisaki x Tsumugu who found support in each other through the 5 lonely timeskip years... it's hard for me to completely believe in Sayu's feelings beyond this childhood infatuation, you know? She talks about how because of him, she was able to work hard, so he wouldn't see her as just a little kid" and that "because of him, she was able to keep going". And her line "You were right here in my heart the entire time!"—as beautiful as it was—the fact that it's spurred on by a 9-year-old crush... I just can't fully immerse myself in it. And even though a long-lasting childhood crush isn't completely unrealistic, for a fictional story that's comprised of deliberate writing decisions, having it happen like this is something that I feel is unfortunate and just feels so much less meaningful than every other relationship in the show. I'm just glad that Kaname's response was reasonable and compelling, given the circumstances and his relationship with her in the moment. But if their bond had any build-up or meaningful moments, that would've been so much nicer imo.
But regardless, Kaname and Sayu as a ship are my favourite in the show, and even without what I wanted, I'm still glad that her confession happened. If you're here, thank you for reading! This anime really be leaving me with unresolved feelings nearly a decade later :")
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All I Ever Wanted- Karma x shy! Reader
ask: Heyyy can you do a oneshot with an karma x shy! Reader please
@anime-allover
a/n: hello! thank you for being my first request! this was fun to write, I had a lot of fun with it, as someone who was labeled ‘shy’ for most of my childhood, I think I got a lil carried away hehe
sorry this is so long! it's more like a mini fic now :/
if this isn’t what you had in mind or want something shorter let me know!
Warnings: A bit of violence at the end, like two curse words
also, this is highkey inspired by the song “Me and My Husband” by Mitski Mitski
People were often confused by your attitude.
Much to their confusion, you didn’t hate people- others often thought you did.
No, you hated the thought of all the stares, all the eye’s on you.
The thought of all those people judging your every movement, you’re very being, that's what scared you.
You never wanted to downplay your emotions, but the thought of being disliked for who you were was terrifying.
Whenever you entered a room, your skin would crawl with how the people there seemed to size you up, like lions looking for a meal. Unfortunately, you were the poor gazelle.
By no means were you helpless. No, you were far from it. It was simply a matter of finding someone who would accept you for who you were, for all your quirks and flaws.
The search for that person was what put you in the dreaded class 3-E in the first place.
Unable to click with anyone in your class, you became discouraged, causing your grades to slip. Going to a class where nobody liked you made you nauseous, and that was your breaking point.
So here you were. Three months into the first semester and you already dropped this low. You couldn’t even muster up the courage to go to the mandatory meeting where the teachers were supposed to brief you on your life in this class. You didn’t see the point of going to a meeting where all they would do was berate you for falling behind, so you simply did not attend.
That was your first mistake.
Mentally preparing for seeing all eyes on you, you opened the door.
You had prepared for a classroom full of kids staring at you.
You hadn’t however, prepared for a yellow octopus looking thing to look at you as well.
“Good morning Y/N! Welcome to Class 3-E, I am your new teacher Koro-sensei!”
Oh my god, it talks why is it saying it’s my teacher what the hell is going on wow I think the floor is coming to me wait no thAT’S ME FALLING TO THE FLOOR-
If you were conscious, you would have been absolutely mortified at the thought of fainting in front of the class, but alas, you were not. For now.
Unbeknownst to you, a certain redhead had doubled over laughing in the back row.
“She didn’t even scream! Just plop face down on the floor!”
The blue-haired boy he was acquainted with yelled at him.
“Karma! Leave her alone!” though, his reply went unheard over the uproar of laughter resulting from Karma’s comment.
Shaking his head, Nagisa walked up to the front of the classroom where you were still passed out, and lightly shook your shoulder.
“Y/N? Hey um, are you okay?”
Slowly regaining consciousness, you tried to look u and see who roused you from your slumber.
“Mom? What time is it-” The face you saw was that of your mother, but one of the kids in your class.
“Oh um I guess you don’t remember, but you just fainted after seeing Koro-sensei. I'm Nagisa Shiota, and uh-oh,” Nagisa paused before fishing a hanker-chief out of his pocket. “Your nose is bleeding,”
Nagisa seemed to sense that you were still in shock about the quick succession of events in such a short amount of time, so he gently took your hand and placed the white cloth in it.
“Your seat is in the back row, next to the boy with the red hair. His name is Karma,”
“And I’m your best friend, right Nagisa?” the boy -Karama- shouted back.
“More like my worst nightmare,” Nagisa grumbled, though from the look in his eyes you could tell he didn’t really mean it.
On shaky legs, you stood up and walked to your seat beside Karma, tears brimming in your eyes at how some of the kids snickered at your earlier display. Fainting had been the absolute worst way to meet your new class, and though Nagisa at least seemed very kind, you still had no idea what the octopus thing -Koro-sensei- was doing here.
Setting your bag down, you sat in your seat, folded your arms, and rested your head in them, hoping to block everything out, even for just a moment.
Something poking your arm roused you from your small mental breakdown, and you lifted your head to see Karma poking you with the end of his pencil.
Looking around the classroom, it was like your worst fear had come true.
Every single pair of eyes in the room was on you, some even pointing.
“Y/N? Were you listening?” Koro-sensei asked from the front.
You swore everyone could hear your heart by now, you ran your hands together in an attempt to calm yourself down.
“I-I’m sorry sir, could y-you repeat that?” At this point, the only thing that could make this day worse is if he made you introduce yourself to the class.
“I was asking if you would mind introducing yourself to the class?”
motherfu-
“O-oh okay, um, my name is Y/N L/N, and if I'm being completely honest, I have absolutely no idea what's going on,”
“Oh? Did you not attend the teacher’s briefing?”
It seemed that had indeed been a bad choice on your part.
“Um no? I didn’t want any more people to yell at me about my grades, so I didn’t go I guess. I'm sorry,” You cringed internally, hearing your voice get quieter the longer you spoke. You swore, whenever you didn’t know somebody it was like some weird nervous person took over and you turned into a stuttering mess.
“It is quite alright Y/N! It was actually required by the government for you to attend, as it explained my presence and your mission here in 3-E, but I’ll tell them you were sick and couldn’t attend,”
You were taken aback by Koro-sensei’s forgiving attitude, expecting a much harsher rebuke.
“T-thank you very much, sir,”
“You may sit down now, I’ll have Karma and Nagisa explain everything after class, they are the most knowledgeable on the subject. This will also give you the opportunity to meet your new classmates!”
You merely nodded from your seat, unable to will your voice to make a single sound.
The class passed fairly quickly, and you were quite surprised at how well Koro-sensei taught. You never excelled in math, but the way he explained things seemed to click in your brain. It was a pleasant change from the fast-passed, stressful lessons you were accustomed to before.
Light tapping on your desk roused you from your thoughts.
“Hey, it’s Nagisa again. Me and Karma are supposed to explain things to you. Do you mind if we do it while we eat?”
You nodded your head vigorously, eating always calmed you down.
“Alright, I’ll pull up a chair and we can share a desk if you don’t mind?”
You shook your head no, and turned to Karma, wondering what his lunch was.
You’re eyes practically leapt out of your head at the four bento’s filled with extravagant food he pulled out of his bag. You practically started drooling at the thought of eating all that delicious food, and you were tempted to steal one while he wasn’t looking. All you had was a sandwich, and suddenly the thought of eating it didn’t seem so appealing.
“Do you want one?”
The sudden question surprised you, you hadn’t known Karma for very long, but he didn’t seem like the type to share.
“Oh I'm sorry I didn’t mean to stare it just looked really good and you had a lot more than I thoughtandimsorryimtalkingwaytoomuchillshutupnow,”
Karma whistled at the sheer speed at which you spoke, and you tuned your now warm face towards your desk, hoping he wouldn’t notice just how embarrassed you were.
The view of the desk seemed very appealing, but what was more appealing was the bento that was slid across your desk.
“Just eat it. I highly doubt that little sandwich is going to keep you going all day. You looked so pale when I offered I thought you were going to face plant again,”
“You’re right I'm so hungrythankyousomuch,”
You ate the food with fervor, relishing how the flavors danced on your tongue.
You hadn’t expected fainting and being given a bento box to be the start of a friendship, but here you were.
It had been two weeks since you fainted in front of everyone, and you were finally started to warm up to everyone.
They were all honestly very nice, though a bit annoying sometimes, they didn’t seem like bad kids.
And ever since that first day, Karma had brought a bento, just for you.
It was different every day, but the fact that he cared about you from the small interaction to bring you food warmed your heart.
Now, you were animatedly discussing assassination tactics with Nagisa, Karma sipping on strawberry milk- like usual.
“You know,” Karma said, putting down his strawberry milk. “You do this thing whenever you get excited Y/N. Your eyes light up and you talk like a million miles an hour,”
You shrunk inside of yourself at his comment, thinking he was making fun of your habit.
“It’s cute,”
You snapped your face up to his, surprised. No one had ever referred to you as cute before. Sure, there was the occasional creepy guy that would catcall you or the pervy boys in your old class that tried to look up your skirt, but that was about it. Usually, it was always you’re such a weirdo, or you can’t even talk right, you must be stupid.
That thought played on loop in your head for days. Just that single comment.
Karma thought you were cute.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You had avoided it for long enough, faking illness, ‘accidentally’ rolling your ankle, conveniently getting a migraine, but you could avoid it no longer.
P.E.
It’s not that you were bad at it- quite the opposite actually.
You just didn’t want your classmates to think you were showing off, and you still weren't a hundred percent comfortable with the thought of killing Koro-sensei. Your parents stopped talking to you after you were transferred to 3-E, so he was the most supportive adult figure in your life right now.
But unfortunately, he had also seen right through your attempt and falling ill today, so here you were, lined up with everyone else, ready wishing this was over.
“Alright everyone, today we’ll be going over flexibility and acrobatics. Both are key aspects of assassination, especially for getting yourself out of sticky situations,”
Great. Now everyone will definitely think your showing off.
“We have bars, a trampoline, and mats to test your skills in these areas. Please begin stretching to prepare,”
Karma leaned over to whisper in your ear: “Dude, you look constipated. What’s up?”
You gritted your teeth in dread, completely ignoring Karma’s comment about your face. “I’m good at this,”
“What?”
“I’m good at this stuff. That’s the problem,”
“I think you need to go to the nurse's office because that doesn’t make any sense. If your good at it, then what’s there to worry about?”
Oh how you wished you had Karma’s attitude, but your brain simply did not work like that.
He sighed next to you, then reached out a hand to ruffle your hair. The action caused your brain to short-circuit, and while you previously were imagining all the different ways this could go wrong, the only thing you were able to process was Karma’s hand on your head.
“Whatever you're overthinking in that pretty little head of yours, I promise it’s not going to be as bad as you think it is, so stop worrying. You make an ugly face when you think too hard,”
“Y/N. It’s your turn,”
Karma retracted his hand at Karasuma’s voice, leaving your an anxiety-filled blushing mess.
You breathed slowly and stepped up to the mats, flexibility being the first test.
Looking back into the crowd, you noticed Nagisa giving you a thumbs up and Karma smiling at you. Seeing them silently root for you gave you a bit of courage, so you slid into the splits with ease, stood back up, the bent into a back-bend. Next was a kick over, then a handstand, all executed to perfection.
Not giving yourself time to overthink and panic, you turned to the bars and performed your moves with grace, just as you did at gymnastics practice.
Lastly was your specialty- the trampoline.
Usually, the trampoline was a tumbling mat, but you would just have to make do.
The trampoline was long, spanning about 20 feet. Longer than your usual routine, but that was nothing you couldn’t handle.
Getting a running start, you front flipped, then, using your momentum, did a front handspring. Jumping up once more you did four back handsprings in a row, backflipped, then as a final move, an aerial. You cursed internally, as your hands flew up in the air in the judges salute, something you did on instinct after doing gymnastics for so long.
Shocked to hear shouts and clapping, you turned to the crowd of students who rushed at you.
“That was amazing Y/N!”
“Who knew you were secretly talented!”
“Could you teach me how to do that no hands front flip thingy?”
“Alright alright, let the poor girl breathe,” Karasuma shooed the class away, then turned back to you. “That was very impressive Y/N. If you could coordinate that into assassination, I'm sure you could go far.”
You gave him a real, genuine smile. “Thank you very much, sir!”
Karma’s POV:
Karma didn’t quite understand the feeling in his chest. It wasn’t like the feeling he got when he attempted to assassinate Koro-sensei, or how it felt to break someone’s nose.
No, this was different. Something he had never felt before you.
The way his heart fluttered in his chest at how graceful you looked. Or how he wished it was him you had given that shining smile too.
And it wouldn’t go away.
He started to notice that after you came out of your shell, you smiled a lot more. Your eyes lit up, and he adored the way you chewed your lip when you were worrying about something.
Karma Akabane never thought he’d used the word adored to describe something he felt, but here he was, adoring a new aspect of you each day.
He would lay awake at night, inside his cold, empty mansion, thinking it would be better if you were in it.
Wondering if you felt the same way about him.
He couldn’t bear to think that you didn’t. This new feeling, one he’d never felt before, was both exhilarating and terrifying.
And he had no idea what to do.
Nagisa’s POV:
Nagisa had genuinely never seen Karma liked this before.
It was almost unnerving at first, the way he looked at you like he was stranded in the desert, and you were an oasis, calm and beautiful.
In all his time, Nagisa had never seen Karma in love before.
To someone who hadn’t known Karma along as he had, the way his eye’s got soft when he looked at you, or the way you could always bring him out of a bad mood would go unnoticed.
But Nagisa noticed.
The perceptive boy had also picked up on how you opened up when Karma was around, how you looked at him like he was the only person in the room. The way that whenever you bumped into each other, both of you would linger just a little bit longer than necessary. How when you dropped your pencil last Thursday, and Karma’s fingers grazed yours, both of your faces turned red.
It was almost hard to watch you both pining so obviously over each other, and then do absolutely nothing about it.
What he did not know, was that his annoyance would be short-lived, because no one was expecting what would happen the following week.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was all because of those Class B jerks.
They had been your old classmates, and you were just trying to walk to the bus, Karma and Nagisa in tow when they had to show up.
“Hey look! The freak finally found her place, among the other freaks!”
“It’s fitting for her. I mean, you can’t be that weird and not get put in 3-E. Forget about grades, they should have chucked her into that dump the second she arrived!”
To say you snapped would be an understatement.
Nagisa had looked over to you, hoping to provide comfort, but the look on your face would put Karma’s to shame.
You flew towards the two boys, faster than Nagisa thought was possible, and punched the first one straight in the face.
Nagisa flinched internally, watching the blood spurt from his nose, as he actually flew backward from the force of your fist.
The second one was already trying to get a hit in on you, and Nagisa could see Karma was about to step in, but he stopped when he saw you grab the second guy's face, and slam it into your awaiting knee.
“Shut up,” He collapsed on the ground, and you crouched down so you were eye-level with him.
“Listen. I’m in 3-E now. I cannot sink any lower than this, so there’s nothing for me to lose right? So I suggest you tell all your little friends that I will not hesitate to do to them what I just did to you. Got it?”
Both shook their heads, then scrambled away from you, clutching their respective faces.
Your POV:
Your knuckles hurt. Punching someone with that much force was much more painful than they showed in movies.
And, deep down, you were scared what the boys said was true.
You were quiet and reserved, and your interests never matched those around you, and now here you were, blood dripping off your knuckles, tights ripped, hair disheveled, and they were right.
You were a freak.
Karma probably only hung out with you out of pity, why else would he?
And Nagisa only did out of obligation, after all, he couldn’t be Karma’s friend and then not yours, right?
You weren’t even aware you were crying until the tears dripped onto the pavement below your face.
“Y/N? are you okay?”
It was quiet for once inside your head. Too quiet.
“It’s okay Karma. You don’t have to feel pity for me anymore. You can ignore me, and go back to how things were before. I’m okay with being alone,��� Despite your words, your voice wobbled and more tears sprung from your eyes.
“Hey. Look at me,” Karma cupped your face with his hands, wiping away a tear with his thumb.
“I hang out with you because I want to. Those guys didn’t know what they were talking about. You’re beautiful and smart, and so devoted. I’ve always loved that about you,”
He said ‘loved”
“You looked badass just now. Don’t think you going crazy on those jerks is going to make me change the way I see you. If you think I’m that shallow, then you’re stupid.
I love the way you chew your lip when your worried, and I love the way you always try so hard in math even though you’re not that good at it. I love the way that you adore the weirdest things, like snakes and old music, and I love how you smile at me when you think I’m not looking,”
Crap he noticed-
“And finally, I love you Y/N. Will you be my girlfriend?”
You beamed at him, hearing the words you had always dreamed of hearing.
“Yes. Please,”
He hugged you close to his body, as he could protect you from all the bad in the world, and you relished the way his arms wrapped around you.
“Can I kiss you?”
Instead of giving him an answer, you leaned up and tilted your head so it fit perfectly against his.
Despite all the strawberry milk he drinks, he tasted like cinnamon sugar, an almost bittersweet flavor. He melted into your touch, and his breath tickled your nose when he pulled away.
A light cough from ten feet away reminded you that Nagisa was still here, and you instantly withdrew from Karma’s embrace, smoothing down your uniform.
“Nagisa~ Look who just got a girlfriend,”
“Shut up,” You lightly punched his arm, but you also let your hand entwine with his.
And this was all you ever wanted.
a/n: i read somewhere that Karma’s parents r like super rich so he lives in a mansion????
#karma#karma akabane#karma x reader#karma akabane x reader#assassination classroom#lol i got really carried away#sorry about that
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Phobia; Han jisung
Genre: angst, fluff (if you squint)
Warnings: mention of nightmares
Word count: 1.8k
A/N: Hi! I’m back from my hiatus with another angst fic inspired by the drama it’s okay to not be okay combined with a little bit of phobia I hope you guys like it!
The girl who fed on nightmares
there was a girl who woke up every night by the nightmares, demons that haunted her dreams. She was twisted inside, held back by the painful memories of her past.
panting breath, irregular heartbeat, a cold sweat dripping from her forehand. she opened her eyes to meet with the darkness of her room. Terror washed over her. frightened.
"it's just another nightmare" she said trying to calm down the thoughts that were messing up her already deranged head.
a familiar setup, you might think she grew accustomed to the feeling after the third night but that's was not true the lingering feeling of numbness grew by the time she realized there was no escape from the chains that still cuffed her up.
the morning came earlier, with very few hours of sleep, she got up and got ready for work. the days turned into a monotone.
she arrived to bookstore, pure silence made her mind feel content. A moment of peace in the torrential rain.
"excuse me" a soft voice called her, almost as quiet as a whisper that's being shared between lovers.
she looked up to meet with a boy, with black hair and a mischievous smile, he looked cheerful with an undeniable strong aura that surrounded his slender figure, definitely not the type you would see in a library at 8am in the morning.
"yes" she replied politely to the boy who carried a handful on books on his arms.
"i want to check all of these out please" he placed the books on the counter.
As she took a look at the pile, she got intrigued by the peculiar selection.
children books.
but not the kind that you read to a child unless you want them to have nightmares, and she knew damn well about that.
"you like this gruesome stuff ?" she was never the kind to question other people's interests but for some strange motive she wanted to know.
" it's a children's book how can you call this masterpiece gruesome" the boy seemed rather offended by her words.
" the pictures make me want to cry my eyes out and I'm an adult, there's no way this book was targeted for such audience" she said
" it seems like you know nothing about this books not the author , therefore I won't be engaging in a discussion, you can continue to be ignorant later just let me borrow them so I can go" he said annoyed, taping with his finger on top of the dusty cover.
The girl refused to give out response and rather continued to do her job. she sure didn't get paid enough for that.
"here" she said handing him the books along with the returning slip. "you have 2 weeks to return them unless you want more time come before the deadline to extend the borrowing period"
"thank you" he left not sparing to look at her for the last time before exiting through the door.
the browned eyed boy who just happened to be named han jisung, she found out his name through his library card. Was all she could think about, not because she was interested, but because of the of his actions. Usually she evaded social situations, she found people not worth of her time, but there was something about that boy that made her wanted to crush him like a fragile butterfly with broken wings.
another meaningless night, it was tiring to get emptied out like that. Every time she closed her fears shaped into a reality. she was stuck with the phobia.
days passed by, a body that walks through the streets without a soul. There was nothing she wanted nothing she desired more but to fall asleep. So she lived her life longing for that moment.
going through the bookshelves placing them correctly by alphabetical order. A pair of eyes stuck to the back of her head.
a boy who watched her carefully from the other side of the room, and he probably thought he was being precautious, but she knew she was being observed.
Jisung. Who came everyday just to sit as far back from the main entrance as possible, hiding in a corner reading the books he so much loved. After the first encounter with the girl he could no longer sleep the same way. His thoughts circled around her small frame and the sound of her broken voice.
there was this thing about her, he called it despondency and he was drowned right into it. like the tales had taken over a human form.
by the end of the two weeks he stood there fidgeting, over the course of the last couple of days his little instigating got him nowhere. She repeated a daily routine, there was nothing to analyze in her vague movements and worn out expressions. However he knew she hides more than the human eye can perceive behind that weary facade.
The moment she clocked out he followed her outside.
"why are you following me" the girl stopped her tracks and made a spin over her ankles, just to meet with him.
"I needed to ask you something" He said rather shy. all the courage he build up over the weeks disappearing at the strong gaze that confronted him.
"I'm not obligated to respond, do me a favor and get lost" She turned around and continued to walk.
It was an expected reply exactly what made jisung decide it was better to come up with a different plan.
every day he would put a book of his collection on top of her desk hoping she would get interested enough to read it.
but instead she would just eye the cover and place it back to its shelf.
Not until one day she meet to something different, the book had a folded edge, opening the page carefully, her fingers ghosting over the words printed on the glossy paper.
"bad memories from the past that he wanted to erase from his head"
"were replayed in his dreams every night"
"and haunted him nonstop"
"the boy was terrified of falling asleep"
a creeping feeling went down her spine, and her trembling hands made the book fall. Her own monsters greeted her with a grin. Collapsing with the wooden floor.
jisung got petrified by the loud sound. He hurried his way to find the girl unconscious on the ground. it was all his fault.
a disturbing sound came from her mouth. She woke up in an oddly unfamiliar house. Her body covered by a thin blanket, the walls were closing like the screams that got caught up in her throat.
jisung who was downstairs making dinner ran through the stairs and opened the door alarmed at the high pitched noises.
"Are you okay?" He exclaimed trying to recover his breath.
"what am I doing here? where am i ?" she asked not trying to panic even more. She felt so dizzy the room kept on spinning.
"you're at my house, you passed out at the library" He said scratching the nape of his neck with guiltiness.
"I remember now, this was your deed, you and your stupid nauseating books" by the looks of it she had been gone for a while. Not to mention the longer she was in a slumber the longer the suffering.
"not my fault you got scared by a book for 5 year olds" He said shrugging, with an unprovoked expression.
"And you dared to call me an ignorant" she deadpanned.
"Do you fear anything?" He asked out of the blue.
what is the real meaning behind fear?. Fear is tangible. Is the anxiety, the desperation to run away and hide forever where they can't find you, it means to want to stab your eyes with a safety pin to blind the pain. Is the captivity of oneself.
"You're scared of yourself aren't you?" it no longer sounded like a question but more like an affirmation.
he had figured you out in no time. You couldn't let them see the vulnerable side, not to anyone and most definitely not this stranger.
"You said it yourself you know nothing so leave alone before it's too late" She threatened.
"Anyways I'm sorry for being so persistent, never intended to make you feel uncomfortable, I'll be downstairs if you need me, dinner is ready if you want to come and have something to eat before you leave" He knew it was better not to push it if he wanted answers.
But why was he so desperate to understand the world inside her head ?
Jisung felt the loneliness of her being. He came up to the conclusion that he wanted to be the person who brought the girl back to life.
After some time he grew a step closer to her, not to the point she would stop pushing him away but at least his efforts had made a very insignificant change.
She would let him read the books to her once in a while, she fed into the words, relating to every single one of them. But things were still the same at night, she would break down to the horrifying sight.
"Jisung why are you still here ?" she asked him unable to understand why the boy remained by her side even when she treated him like a piece of trash.
"Because im trapped under your spell" he confessed.
"You’re e going to end up in so much pain" she said looking into his eyes.
"You can't go to heaven before crossing the flames of hell" He responded with certainty. “ and If I have to burn I rather do it while still holding you”
"Would you still like me if you knew the kind of monster I am, not the one you read in books but the kind that hides behind a mask and transforms at night"
" I would still like you if you were the devil himself"
" The devil wont tear your soul apart like I would trust me" She knew she would drive him into despair. But she had warned him multiple times, from here she no longer take accountability, he would meet fear. She would make sure of that.
I'm stuck with the phobia although I want to stay with you I'm scared that you might disappear in between the shadows. How can I hold you when I was made to destroy you.
there was a girl whose world was a pitch black hole and her insides were dark and twisted, and a boy who fell in love with her repulsiveness swore to never leave her, but her darkness overshadowed the fugacious happiness of a spur moment and the voices in her head claimed that she was all alone. but the boy sang to her a lullaby that lulled her into a deep sleep and for the first time in forever there were no painful memories in her dreams.
She was the girl who fed on nightmares. The one he once read about and the one he was now holding on his arms.
#stray kids imagines#stray kids fics#stray kids au#hwang hyunjin#bang chan#kim seungmin#han jisung#seo changbin#lee felix#yang jeongin#lee minho#stray kids fluff#stray kids angst#stray kids#stray kids scenarios
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PSA: Being Damaged Doesn’t Excuse Hurting Others
For the longest time I said nothing at all in regards to the harassment and stalking I received by an author I met in person. To my knowledge they have left the fandom, however maybe they just changed their penname. Seeing the post by @wayward-rose and the rest who were wronged by Mrs. Z and the reactions from others who have been uncomfortable with her behavior, it sort of made me reevaluate things. Not only the behavior of the author who wronged me, but my own actions subsequent to this. The excuse given by Mrs. Z in regards to multiple hate asks and such have led to her reactions… I get it but I do not condone it. For so long I did not name the author save to a few friends. Some know the author’s name solely because I have since admitted that it was the former co-author of the “This Isn’t In My Programming” fic that was discontinued. I’ve been asked even recently for the author’s name as well as what exactly happened.
This may be long-winded, I don’t know. I am not excusing negative behavior from my end on here that I will be disclosing. This is, in a way, something I should have spoken about much sooner. When certain readers at the time could tell there was an extreme difference in my attitude. Where I became very intolerant of some things. This is how I was not completely the victim, but at times the one in the wrong. And it is due to my experience that I can understand some of Mrs. Z’s bitterness but not her acceptance of it and the argument that she is in the right. This is not making it about me either. This is at last coming forward after having been asked to do so for close to two years.
The author, MeganD1, and I met in person a few times. We had connected over instagram, and after she learned we lived in neighboring states she had said it would be cool to meet. I agreed but was not quite ready. She persisted. Pushed. I agreed. Upon agreeing, she had posted on her fandom instagram that she was meeting me along with the location of where I lived. I told her I was NOT okay with that. She deleted, apologized, but also said she did not know why it was a big deal. I let that slide since she had deleted it. During that first meeting, we had a great time. I told her how one of my favorite Lucasfilm artists, Eric Maell, had reached out to me one time when I was going through a very rough period. It had meant the world. I told Megan of my dream to meet him one day at a convention. She hadn’t known the artists aside from one piece he had done. She had had no interest in him.
While together, we went shopping at a mall and talked. She did admit to contacting me to begin with because I had been one of the bigger author names for Kylo/Reader and Hux/Reader fics at the time. She also admitted to talking shit about me with another author. And I regret not listening to those warning bells. Megan and I discussed triggers and tropes in fanfics (which we did again on our second meeting). We had fun.
The second time she visited, I had invited her and she stayed a few days at my house. We again went shopping and also sat down at a restaurant to talk. I opened up about my sexual assault to her. It was the first time I had spoken about details to someone in person like that. I kept having to look away from her face. I felt ashamed. I was shaking a bit. Trying to not panic. I thought it was a relief, believed she was understanding.
We went to my house afterwards. On the way, Megan told me some plans she had for a fic of hers that she was writing and I was reading. I mentioned having triggers with those issues. So she elaborated on it, explained it differently. There was 0 way I'd have known that it was going to trigger me as it did. I'd NEVER been triggered like that. this was after she had gone back home. That’s what I’ll touch upon in a minute. We watched The Office together. Pitched the idea to co-write a story, and that is how This Isn’t In My Programming was born. Side note that during her visiting, I have endometriosis so have issues with that. I was doubled over the entire time but learned later it was due to having colitis; she did not help at all, so I essentially took out all her trash, took all her dishes, had to cook for her..which some of this is fine. I'm willing to do it. But being literally doubled over....it was a sore thing that I didn't address with her until later
Fast forward to her returning home, writing the chapter, and posting it. Okay so I was triggered by the scene, privately told her on chat in instagram that she needed to include a trigger warning because it was a pretty intense scene and also told her that I couldn't read the fic anymore. Which I didn't think was an issue since she had stopped reading mine for similar reasons or else because she just didn't like them. She reacted by posting an a/n on her fic stating how she never meant to offend anyone, how she should give up writing. She didn't mention my name but basically got a ton of the readers to shittalk me for being triggered. It was one of the most hurtful and fucked up things for me. To read those comments from people who read my fics, who chatted with me. Talking about me like that; and me wondering if they would still believe that if they knew all the details. So here is where some bitterness and resentment started in me. Why some of my notes became venomous and hard.
It was not okay for me to say certain things, to bash others. It was hypocritical. So this is where I understand Mrs. Z when she says that about the hate comments. But we’re adults and should take that step back. I regret many of the things I said. Which, again, I will get to in a bit.
Megan posted on her fandom ig and personal ig how she was going to delete her ig. Told me in chat how she was going to give up writing. Where I was begging her to not, telling her I did love her writing, I just couldn't read this specific fic. Mind you, during the panic attack I was in the bathroom on the floor with a towel shoved into my mouth and screaming and crying. Struggling to breathe. I had my phone with me and was chatting with Juulna between breaths when I could. She was trying to help me calm, to get me through it. I didn’t share that with Megan because I had not wanted her to feel so bad. I did not give her the details of my panic attack, but she still reacted so severely.
When she calmed down, I tried to get her to understand why that had hurt me. She couldn't understand so I said that we should end communications. She said she was open to discussing things if I felt differently. So I thought on it and wrote up an email explaining how she had hurt me and also my part in having let a few emotions fester such as not addressing her behavior when I was doubled over in pain. I am going to show the email. There is a name of another author that will be omitted. First I have to speak of another thing, how MeganD1 would tell me in chat how she wished she had endometriosis or something else to better understand others. I did not know at the time that she was asking Juulna for information on my health conditions and playing it off as someone else. This Juulna and I pieced together after the post-stalking fic got put on ao3 by putting together portions of conversation with keywords/phrases/situations. So this alone was a violation to me. Especially with how open I am about my conditions because I want to spread awareness. I’m mentioning this behavior since it is addressed in the email.
She countered by saying she could never put herself in my shoes for being triggered because she is an only child, doesn't have to "wait to buy things when they're on sale" (due to my medical conditions, I live with my parents and can't hold a job). Threw my family dynamics at me. Then started to go through how she was bullied since a young age. And it isn't like I didn't empathize. I thanked her for being honest with me. I’m going to show a small portion here that does not include her personal information or anything like that.
So a disclaimer that the only people I have directly told I cannot continue reading their fic are friends with whom I chat with off of ao3 and largely due to them asking me what I think of the latest chapter. Otherwise I wouldn’t say a thing. They, likewise, have done the same with me. I thought it was so we could respect boundaries/triggers and support one another with other fics we could read. Cheering them on with those we can’t. I have worked on this since everything happened. I’m not perfect. Back to the issue...
After this email and taking time to digest it, I restated my position that we were parting ways.
Not long later I went onto the Kylo/Reader page and a summary of a new fic caught my eye. That was my hometown. That was not a Star Wars planet being named. Those tags were all my triggers and some of them were things she had openly bashed to my face. I had another panic attack, this one where I called up Juulna to talk in with voice. She couldn’t even understand me.Nor could my mother, who had heard me from downstairs and came up to check on me. I couldn’t stop crying, couldn’t stop feeling so violated and like the biggest fucking idiot for ever trusting her. I opened the fic because I was in doubt. But it was there. Details that others wouldn’t catch but that I did. She has since deleted the fic and even admitted that she did it to spite me. But this was the fic that changed so much. That made it to where I could not go onto the Kylo/Reader page for years.
This was the fic that prompted me to make a note on instagram a few times bashing people who romanticize rape and other triggering content. Where I stated if someone read those fics they were disgusting and I didn’t want them near me. So can I understand Mrs. Z being harsh? I fucking can, but it does not make it right just like my notes were not right and I deleted them. I reached out to a few people and apologized for them too.
This is the fic where when @kylosbrickhousebody mentioned I inspired them with Three Blind Tooke to write Mercurial...this is the fic that made me think it was a sick joke that they mentioned me. Why I thought it was malicious. I hadn’t known her, and I did apologize to her for my accusations. She understood where I was coming from when I told her why I thought that. Understood but equally held me accountable for my reaction. That I lashed out instead of coming to her. Because, at the end of the day, I AM accountable for MY actions. Even if we can empathize with them, it does NOT make them right.
I’ve been asked why I didn’t report the fic by MeganD1 to ao3. I was fucking terrified. I was scared to admit that this was me, that that was my home. I was scared they wouldn’t believe me. I was dealing with my sexual assault, dealing with the fact that I was in denial over it in part because I’d been told to “get over it”. Dealing with the colitis and an impending hysterectomy. My Grammy’s recently diagnosed breast cancer. I was so broken down with hurt and fear. I just watched the comments and kudos roll in for a fic that violated me to the core. I let the resentment build. And how was that fair to any of the individuals who would have avoided it if they had known what the fuck it was about?
While she was updating the fic, MeganD1 was also cyberstalking me on instagram, possibly tumblr as well. I privated my personal account from her. My fandom account I knew she was stalking with hers because she accidentally liked then unliked things. She had multiple accounts. Then she would view my story posts. I am guilty of checking on her fandom account once or twice, and she had made vague references to me in her captions. I deleted that fandom account. Made a new one. Followed my favorite Lucasfilm artist. Suddenly she was commenting on his posts. Talking about how much fun she had meeting him at a convention. My fucking dream that she stole with an artist she didn’t care about until I had mentioned him. I’ve never been able to go onto his page since. She found me though. Found that new account...so after months of not being stalked it started up. I deleted that fandom account. I stopped participating much at all.
The point is that throughout all of this, I was still and am still accountable for my own actions, for how I respond to others. I still get hate comments on fics. Do i want to lash out? Yeah. But I don’t. Sometimes I can take that step back and just ignore it. Other times I reach out to a friend for advice. Because no matter what, no matter just how bad things are, there are behaviors that are absolutely inexcusable. It doesn’t matter how hurt or broken we are. Saying something that hurts and possibly breaks someone else doesn’t fix anything. It creates more chaos. And I know that I hurt some readers I no longer interact with. Some who didn’t and don’t know any of this behind the scenes stuff. My hurt, however, does not justify hurting them.
So with the bravery of @wayward-rose and @callmehopeless and so many others, and with those who reached out and asked to hear what happened to me... I’m answering what happened to the best of my ability. While also, I hope, showing that those who empathize with Mrs. Z, it’s not bad to work to understand her hurt at times when she receives shit in her inbox. But that cannot and should not ever justify her hurting others. Especially when she then sits back and is PROUD of doing that.
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Gateway: The Path to Happiness
Keyz 💖: This rp is LONG and so fun💕 Queen keeps me on track and focused (ง'̀-‘́)ง this is post IM1 so Tony is a young broken baby and Peter is going to save him💖
Queen 💓: I really hope everyone likes it! It is very long and very hard to edit. Credit to @the-mad-starker for doing almost all of the editing, we couldn’t have done it without you!
AO3 Link
Warnings: Alcoholism, self harm, Discussion of past abuse, trauma from past abuse, Obie is the abuse, Tony is a hot mess, ABO, omega/omega, intersex omega
Tony sways as he walks and takes another swig from the bottle clutched in his hand. He doesn’t even bother to hide it behind a trite little paper bag like the nice beta at the 24 hour convenience store had offered. Tony doesn’t care if people know he’s wasted. He doesn’t care if he’s arrested, either. His lips curl up, a snarl behind glass.
Let them try.
He’s quickly nearing the end of the street he’s on. Just by the corner, only separated from the main road by one measly building, a tiny alleyway housing some other late night drifter leaning against the cold brick.
Tony thinks nothing of it until the scent of alpha hits his nose like a punch, and he almost lifts a hand to check under his nostrils for blood from the force of it. He’s, at once, filled with longing, the loneliness of an abandoned omega roaring up out of him like a tsunami. In equal measure, a cold fury sweeps down from his ringing ears and his grip on the bottle turns into firm claws.
Something feral and wild prowls behind the arc reactor and makes Tony’s pupils blow out, neck prickling and hot.
He remembers the feel of Obie’s hands on his nape. The paralysis of the omegan sweet spot being taken advantage of; held down and kept there while his clothing was removed. For the arc reactor, Tony. But that hadn’t stopped him from pawing Tony’s chest, either. Gloating about how much money Tony had made him on the black market while he did it.
Fuck alphas.
The Alpha looks up, taking a deep breath, opening his mouth and tastes the omega scent, distressed and abandoned omega. He grins as he surveys the omega walking forward towards him, and he sees the alcohol in the omegas hand. He’s never seen an easier target, drunk and craving an alpha.
“Hey, Baby,” the alpha calls, pushing off the wall. He strides towards the omega, “How about you, me, and that bottle go have some fun?”
Tony lowers the bottle from his mouth and tries not to make it obvious he’s holding it ready. He plasters on a sloppy smile and waves his hand, dismissing the alpha and moving to walk past.
“Not interested, buddy,” he grumbles, shoulders rising up to his ears and making him even angrier. The smell of alpha makes his knees feel weak; he doesn’t stop moving forward. Obie was a bastard and so is this guy.
The Alpha is a little surprised by the reaction. Normally, lonely abandoned omegas fall at your feet at the slightest notice, just to have an alpha pay attention to them for a few minutes. It’s what every part of their body and minds crave.
This one though seems angry. That isn’t a problem.
“That’s a pity baby,” the alpha purrs.
He steps to the side, letting the omega pass, before stepping close and grabbing the nape of the omega’s neck and gripping tightly.
“But we can have you feeling good, anyway. I was just out for a smoke, baby, let’s go inside and I’ll show you a real good time. You’ll forget about your old alpha and being angry real soon,” he coos.
Tony goes for a swing, having expected something but he’s been trying to convince himself not all alphas are bad (he’s wrong, so wrong, this is wrong) and he’s too slow. His arm drops, fingers going limp.
The bottle falls down to the ground and shatters, beer spackling the pavement and cement along with dark brown shards of glass.
Tony can’t even flinch away.
The alpha wraps his other arm around the pretty omega’s waist, hand sliding over his hoodie to feel the body underneath.
“Mmm, Omega, we are going to have so much fun,” he growls, voice low and full of lust. “Gonna make you scream, baby, and don’t worry, I like my omegas with a little bit of fight.”
He roughly pulls Tony towards a doorway, grinning.
“Bet you have a lovely pussy, baby. Wonder how wet you’ll be already given how much you crave an alpha, poor little thing.”
A foot connects with the back of the alpha’s knees and they buckle. He yelps and lets go of the omega.
As soon as he does, he turns to try and see the attacker and gets punched in the face. He stumbles back and sees a slender omega who, at once, puts himself between him and the first omega.
The omega growls and the alpha growls back. He goes to punch the omega who ducks out of the way and swings at him. Then everything goes black.
Tony stumbles back, going for the neck of the broken bottle without thinking about what’s going on behind him.
He grabs the neck, shallowly cutting his fingers and palm in the process as he snatches the broken glass in his clumsy post-paralysis grip. By the time he turns back around, his attacker is knocked out.
Tony blinks rapidly.
The newcomer smells like another omega but he overpowered that alpha like it’s nothing. He isn’t sure what to do. His hand stings but he isn’t about to drop his only means of defense. He doesn’t want to turn his back when his nape still throbs with the memory of that asshole’s grip.
“Who are you?” Tony starts off, shifting his weight from foot to foot, swaying more than intended as the alcohol fights for control over his faculties.
The omega kicks the alpha to check if he’s really out cold before turning to the alpha’s victim. He can smell the loneliness and he can see the alcohol, too. He’s very glad to have gotten there in time.
He gives the other omega a gentle smile.
“I’m Peter.” His eyes flick to the weapon the omega holds. “How about you put that down. You’re hurting yourself. I’ve got bandages, how about I help you stop the bleeding and get you to a taxi?” he suggests.
“N-no. No, thanks. I’m fine.” Tony takes a step back even though it hurts to leave such an invitation behind.
He can’t trust anyone. He can’t even trust himself.
He wants to stay so badly…
That’s why he’s gotta leave. He can’t stay. He should be heading home, Obie will want to know-
Oh. Well.
Tony stops and looks down at his hand where his knuckles have gone white over the broken brown glass. It makes the red rivulets of his blood stand out vividly in the dim lighting.
He doesn’t have an alpha anymore. He doesn’t even want one. But what does he do with himself without one?
Peter knows just how scared and instinctive omegas are in this kind of state and he inches forward and lets out a gentle calming scent, the kind you use to calm children.
“It’s okay, you can trust me. I know you must be really scared, but I have had that happen to me, and I really do just want to make sure you get home safe, and you don’t hurt yourself.”
He pauses and offers the omega a hand palm up.
“I’m Peter Parker, what’s your name?”
“Tony."
Tony doesn’t offer his last name. His hand spasms on the bottle and shatters it further, splintering the glass. He sees the cuts and slivers but doesn’t feel a thing.
He drops the useless bundle of shards at his feet and then drops his hand at his side like his injuries mean nothing.
"I’m not going to hurt myself,” he says as if he isn’t bleeding onto the street.
He furrows his brows, petulant and feverish with conflicting emotions and cravings. He could still smell alpha pheromones in his nose and feel the hot, dirty clamp of alpha fingers on his omegan weak spot.
“How is an underage twink supposed to help an adult with adult problems, anyhow?” Tony snarls meanly, trying to hurt, to lash out and cut off any attempts to get closer. Trying to cover up his pulse starting to kick and scream frantically behind the reactor.
“You’re gonna make me do things I don’t wanna do. I don’t. Wanna. I don't…” Tony blinks, slow and furious with himself. He snarls at nothing. Then he looked at the other omega with naked longing, vulnerable and glassy-eyed and wanting so much. “I don’t wanna be alone.”
Peter nods encouragingly.
“I’m 25 and I know no omega wants to be alone after an alpha tried that. You won’t be, I’m here,” he promises, stepping a little closer as he continues to hold his arm outstretched.
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want. Let’s just go a street over, away from this alpha. And then, if you want, I’ll sit with you, or take you home, or stop the bleeding, I promise,” he says softly. “I know everything is scary right now, but it’s going to be okay. I’m an omega just like you, and we look after each other.”
“Nobody looks after me,” Tony tries to say it meanly, to say it through his teeth, but it comes out more broken and tender than the split skin of his fingers.
He scowls at himself for showing vulnerability and shakes his head, angry and hurting but not retreating anymore.
“I look after me. The people who look after me. My alpha…” Tony’s eyes go far away. He slowly comes back to himself with a shake and looks at Peter, shoulders pulling in to make himself small. He’s so alone. “I don’t have an alpha anymore, Peter. He wasn’t a good alpha. But he was mine? And now I'm… alone. I look after me.”
Peter nods.
“I know, it’s awful being left alone like you don’t matter, but omegas always try to look after each other, because we understand each other in a way alphas never could. I know what it feels like to be abandoned by an alpha, but the things that helped me were my omega friends.”
He steps closer.
“It’s hard to trust, Tony. I know that but you only have to trust me a little bit, for a little while, just till we get you home,” he says softly. He reaches out and takes his uninjured hand. “Just for a little bit, I’ll look after you.”
“I don't…” Tony looks down to where the other omega is holding his hand.
He can feel that more clearly than whatever dull throbbing ache he’s done to his other hand. He looks up at Peter and wants to stop fighting.
“You’ll take care of me?” Tony’s voice is as small as it’s ever been. He’s scared to move; not even to lace their fingers together.
What if Peter leaves him like Obie did?
Peter smiles and nods.
“Yes, I will, Tony. It’s going to be okay. How about we go away from this horrible alpha?” he suggests gently. “I’ve got bandages in my bag, and I can help some of the pain go,” he coaxes.
He steps back and gently tugs on Tony’s hand.
“I’ll take care of you,” he promises. “Come on, omega, we will have you home and safe soon.”
Tony goes along with the other omega, forgetting about his hand and the glass and the alpha and Obie. Peter has such a nice smile. Tony doesn’t want to think about the rest if he doesn’t have to.
He doesn’t meet the other omega’s eyes but he does weave their fingers together, holding on tight in the dark.
Peter guides the omega to a bench the next road over. He lets go of the omega’s hand to take his backpack off and get a first aid kit out. He then gently takes Tony’s hand.
“Let’s see, ow, that must hurt,” he murmurs letting out a soothing scent. “Let me get that glass out.”
Peter gets some tweezers and starts gently getting the glass out.
“You’re being so good, omega. Good boy,” he murmurs sweetly. He gives him a big smile.
“That’s all of it out. I have to disinfect it now though. It’s going to hurt but you’re going to be a brave boy for me, aren’t you?”
Tony doesn’t even care that this kid is calling him boy like that. It makes his insides kinda squirmy. Maybe the alcohol is making him nauseous.
“It doesn’t hurt,” Tony responds honestly. He watches Peter tend to his injuries dispassionately, eyes hooded. He reaches over and grabs one of Peter’s hands with his free one. “I can feel you, though. You’re warm.”
Peter rubs Tony’s good hand for a few seconds before pulling away to get the disinfectant. He wipes several times.
“That’s it, well done. You’ve been so good,” he murmurs with a smile.
Tony is still bleeding and Peter carefully wraps the hand in a bandage. He then takes both hands in his.
“There, all good. It’s better now, omega. A taxi will come soon and then you can get home and in bed. Won’t that be nice? Maybe you can make yourself a nice nest?” He suggests gently.
“No.” Tony takes both hands back and puts them in the pockets of his hoodie. He moves to get off the bench and walk away altogether, shoulders hunched against rejection and cutting himself off preemptively.
“No nests. My alpha…” Tony pauses, stuck in his autopilot with an interrupted subroutine. He doesn’t have an alpha. “I’ll sleep. Somewhere. But not in a nest. Good night.”
Peter’s heart aches for the omega. Was he not allowed nests?
“Of course, you can sleep wherever you want, Tony,” he says, stepping forward towards him. “You are an omega who looks after themselves, but why don’t you wait for the taxi? You said I was warm. You must be cold. Walking home won’t be nice. The taxi will be here real soon and then you can get home and have a good sleep.” He pauses. “I promise you’ll soon wonder why you ever missed an alpha when being by yourself can be wonderful.”
“I don’t know about that,” Tony whispers. He ducks his head and looks at his shoes for a moment. Then he turns back around and comes close to Peter again, still not making eye contact.
“But I’ll stay. For the taxi,” Tony murmurs softly. His hand still doesn’t hurt but he thinks maybe it aches, being alone.
Peter gives him a big bright beaming smile.
“That’s good, Tony,” he says. He gently takes both hands and stands a little closer, thumbs stroking his hand soothingly.
“You know what helped me when I was alone?” He asks, “After a bit, I broke the rules the alpha had laid down and that helped me feel a little better.”
“My alpha would have pinched me for being out so late.” Nothing worse, because Tony would have complained and someone would have seen, but those hateful little corrective pinches to his sides and ass were humiliating.
Tony whines, distressed, shifting from foot to foot again like he’s thinking of running for it as soon as Peter lets go of him.
Peter’s heart throbs in sympathy. He steps forward and pulls Tony into a firm hug. Arms strong around him like an alpha’s would be.
“He won’t do that anymore, because you’re not alone. You’re free,” he promises, hands rubbing Tony’s back soothingly. “Right now, it feels bad but when you shake off the physical craving then you’re free and it’s wonderful, I promise it is, Omega.”
Tony shudders and clutches at the other omega, fingers digging in too tight as wetness threatens to spill past his lashes. Peter smells so sweet and soft and sincere. Tony wishes it was real. He wishes he deserved nice things.
The taxi pulls up before Tony can break down any further.
Tony jerks back like he’s been stung. He stumbles away before he can make even more of an ass of himself, mumbling a tiny thanks to Peter without looking at him. He heads towards the taxi with the scent of blooming happiness being snuffed out and replaced by uncertainty and shame.
“See you around, Peter.”
Peter opens the taxi door for Tony and waits for him to clamber in. He then pulls out a business card.
‘Gateway-The door to a new world
Peter Parker’
It then lists a business email and phone number. Peter pulls a pen out and writes his personal number on the back and gives it to Tony. He leans in and kisses his cheek.
“Feel free to call me anytime, okay?” He says softly. “You seem like a great person I’d like to get to know.”
Peter steps back and shuts the door and waves as the taxi leaves.
Tony looks at the card and thinks about tearing it up. He doesn’t deserve someone as nice as Peter. Obie wouldn’t want him to keep this card…
Tony slides it into the back pocket of his jeans and rests his head against the taxi window.
—
“Wake up, Tony."
Tony rolls off the couch with a flail, shouting at nothing and landing on his bandaged hand for his troubles. He winces, standing up with his hands cradled to his stomach protectively.
"I don’t want to know where you’ve been or what you did to your hand. Just please take a shower and go to that meeting like you promised me, okay?” Pepper means well but she’s not his alpha and her presence so close when he’s so unbalanced is more stress than relief to his omegan senses.
“I will, I will. I’m up. It’s at 2? I’ve got hours.” Tony shuffles to the bathroom. He can’t turn his back, even on Pepper.
“Tony, it’s noon and the place is 45 minutes away. Please let Happy take you.” It’s so he’ll let her know when Tony arrives. He’s used to being monitored and kept track of this way.
“Sure thing, Pep."
She leaves.
Tony takes a piss but doesn’t return to the bathroom. He pours himself a morning glass of whiskey and nurses that in place of showering or brushing his teeth.
He feels the little card in his back pocket - didn’t change his clothing from last night- sitting on the couch and in the car. He doesn’t pull it out until he’s all the way at the meeting, alone and afraid and trying to remember Peter’s smile. It’s for reassurance and it leaves him feeling like a dumbass for hoping a little card could or would help.
"Stupid. Why am I even trying…” Tony murmurs to the card, leg bouncing, bandages stark and obvious and ugly. He’s a mess. A wreck of a human and a disaster of an omega. No wonder Obie tried selling him for sex.
—
Peter is helping set up chairs with MJ and Wanda when people start to enter the room. This is a meeting that isn’t run by Gateway but by going as clients, there is a Gateway presence there, one that the organizers love because of how the three of them give the other omegas hope.
He’s just finished when out of the corner of his eye he sees… Tony? He turns and sees Tony standing in the doorway in the same clothes from yesterday. Oh, the poor thing. He waves, smiling widely.
Tony enters the room, looking around for a quiet corner to stand and hide in, but then he sees Peter. He is hit with the sudden urge to move closer to him and enjoy his company and also to move farther away because fuck, he hasn’t changed clothing and he brushed his teeth with whiskey this morning afternoon.
Maybe other people could tell, but Peter would know. Anyway, Peter’s accompanied by another pretty omega closer to his age and Tony isn’t sure if he’s even welcome.
He flushes in humiliation but waves back. He hovers around the proceedings without looking at the other omega, getting in everyone’s way with his slow shuffling in and out of their paths, swaying gently from booze and lack of good sleep.
Peter can see the others omega’s embarrassment in the way he quickly looks away and awkwardly walks around the room but Peter strides over.
“Tony, it’s good to see you.”
Tony seems very responsive to contact so Peter greets him traditionally, kissing his cheek.
“It’s especially good to see you here, Tony. Do you want to sit by me?” He asks. “If you need it, you can always tap me and we can go take a little break.”
“It’s okay. If you want to stay with your friend.”
Tony isn’t nearly as drunk or out of his wits as he was last night. He still finds himself leaning into Peter’s space, craving the contact and attention with a bone-deep need that he wishes he could smother and repress.
“I didn’t think I’d see you again. Especially not… like this.” He sprayed himself with something expensive and nice but is it enough to cover the smell of his self-loathing and depression?
He shouldn’t have come. Peter will think he’s- well, Peter will know he’s a terrible person to associate with, now. So much for that little card being helpful.
Peter would probably hang up on him now.
He’s just being polite to Tony.
Peter gives him a smile.
“MJ and Wanda are fine on their own, probably already making new friends,” he jokes.
Peter takes the bandage free hand. He feels a deep sympathy at the way Tony smells and looks. He’s clearly falling apart at the seams, poor thing. Peter will help him though.
“Let’s sit together. Don’t worry, I promise the meetings aren’t too bad and you don’t have to speak if you don’t want to.”
“You’re the nicest person I’ve met, Peter Parker.”
Tony might be drunker than he thought. He lets the younger omega guide him to their seats. He, thankfully, takes a spot that’s a little away from the others, a small oasis of a chair or two of space between Tony and any other omega besides Peter. He relaxes, turning his shoulders towards Peter and feeling light enough to exhale and smile.
“Thanks, by the way. I think I dove into the taxi too fast to say it last night.” He squeezes Peter’s hand. He’s reluctant to let go. Peter is the only familiar face amongst the crowd and he smells so comforting and his smile is just as charming and boyish as Tony remembered. He doesn’t want to let go.
Tony is sweet. Peter can tell he’s scared and feels alone, that he’s been mistreated too, but that inside, he’s the sweetest little omega. It will just take a while to draw it out.
“That’s okay, I’m just glad I helped, Tony.”
The group leader Emma stands up and starts talking. Peter doesn’t drop Tony’s hand, just strokes it with his thumb. He gives Tony an encouraging smile as they go around and introduce themselves. Some people say why they are there, some not.
“Hi, I’m Peter. I’m here because I want to support people who went through the same things I did, to show that you can get through it and get stronger despite the experience.”
All eyes turn to Tony after that and he panics. He can’t do this. He can’t tell them the truth. He can’t.
“I’m- my name is. Tony. And I was assaulted. By an alpha.” He’s lying about why he’s there. He was scheduled to be at this meeting long before the incident last night. Nobody in this room but Peter will know the truth and Tony-
Tony actually trusts him not to call him out on that.
It makes his next words come breathy. His hold on Peter is tight so he doesn’t float away.
“A good Samaritan saved me. It’s the only reason I’m here today.”
Peter knows Tony isn’t being truthful as he references yesterday, but he can also hear some truth in the omega’s words. He’s been assaulted before that.
He feels the tight grip on his hand and squeezes back.
They finish up with names and then the group leader has them go around the circle and talk about a time that they overcame fear. Tony stays silent for each round of talking but Peter speaks up every time.
The whole time he holds Tony’s hands.
After an hour, the meeting wraps up, and Peter turns to Tony.
“Perhaps this sounds strange, but would you like me to come home with you to just help you do some normal things? It can be hard to do those things after being abandoned,“ he says quietly.
“You don’t want to see it.” Tony turns into Peter’s space, mirroring his posture and still holding onto his hand. The uncomplicated comfort is nice. The bubble of privacy around them is nice, too.
“You should be doing better things with your time. I have the money to pay people to help me.” Tony rubs his unshaven cheeks ruefully. He has the money for a barber but he won’t go. He’s never letting anyone near his upper body with sharp implements ever again. Not without a repulsor to the face.
Peter gives him a smile.
“I’d like to help, Tony,” he says softly. “How about we go to yours and you take a nice hot shower and shave and I make us some dinner?”
He leans closer letting out a soft interested scent.
“I’d really like to know how to get to know you better, Tony.”
“I’m Iron Man,” Tony blurts, like it’s shameful, like Peter will leave him -like Pepper, like Obie, like his parents- and he runs a hand through his hair, breathing out harshly. He looks at Peter through his lashes, shoulders rounding for a blow.
“My name is Tony Stark. I’m… I’m too old to be this fucked up, kid. You don’t want to get to know me better. I’m really, really not worth it.”
Tony should have waited until after he had home-cooked food to deliver this news. Then again, hiding his huge home and fleet of cars and name brand everything would have probably been impossible.
Well, it’s better to get this out of the way so he can absorb this let down with some rum and coke for dinner when Happy gets him home after this.
This statement piques Peter’s interest but he gives no indication that that is the case. He smiles at Tony and squeezes his hand.
“That doesn’t matter to me. I still want to help no matter how much money you have, so do you want my help?” He asks softly.
"I–. Yeah.” Tony can’t believe this kid. For someone able to knock out a horny alpha with ease, he’s only ever been soft to Tony. It makes Tony’s skin prickle warmly and that light floaty feeling comes back.
“Some things you can’t buy, I’m offering one of those,” Peter says with a soft smile.
“You can come back to mine. I have a driver but we can take your car or a taxi or- whatever.” Just don’t leave me goes unspoken but rings loud and pathetic in Tony’s ears.
Peter gives him a kind loving smile.
“My friends carpooled, so we go with your driver. Don’t worry,” he soothes. “I just need to go and tell them.”
He stands and leads Tony over to MJ and Wanda.
“Guys, this is Tony. We’re going to go and chill at his place,” he explains.
MJ gives him an up and down and then nods.
“Okay, see ya,” she says.
Wanda smiles, “Night, Pete!”
Peter gently leads Tony out of the hall.
“You got any food in the fridge or do we need to pick up some?”
“Probably should pick some up.”
Tony only knows what alcohol he has on hand at any given moment. There are snacks everywhere but as far as real food goes, he only eats that at work when people are watching.
“Or we could get burgers on the way back.”
His comfort food. A good, greasy burger to absorb all the toxins from his body and flush his cheeks with warmth. Obie used to pinch him for loving burgers so much.
Peter sees the light in Tony’s eyes when he talks about burgers, and he smiles.
“If you’d like that then we can do that, Tony,” he promises with a soft smile, “I’ll just make you some nice tea at home.”
Peter guides Tony down the hall and out into the cold.
“When is your driver getting here?” he asks. “And where would you like to get burgers?”
“Happy should be just around the corner.” Tony doesn’t think about it as he leans into Peter’s touch, taking his phone out and texting for his beta friend and driver. He’s too excited about the idea of burgers with another person to think about how skin hungry he’s acting.
“We can get some from this place near my house. It’s a hole in the wall but so good. I’ll pay.” Tony finds his words ramping up the more excited he gets. He hasn’t had a burger with a friend in. A while.
And Peter’s his friend… right?
Peter smiles as the car pulls up and they get in together. The driver gives him a look in the mirror but doesn’t comment.
Tony rambles, clearly nervous about the hole in the wall and going there in the past with his friend, Rhodey. Peter smiles and listens, thumb stroking the back of his hand reassuringly.
When they get there and get out of the car and join the queue, Peter stands close so their arms press against each other.
“I love burgers,” he tells Tony, grinning.
Tony moves closer and closer the more Peter smiles and doesn’t push him away. He’s really missed this.
Obie never touched him, he wasn’t Tony’s alpha, sexually, but the loss of his scent and even the contact of those damn pinches left him feeling raw and exposed.
Peter’s skin against him makes him feel settled and warm and he wants to keep this feeling going for as long as he can. He’s forgotten about wearing yesterday’s clothing or basic social norms and is nearly climbing into Peter’s back pocket in his eagerness by the time they get to the register and order. And Peter still isn’t pushing him away!
“We can eat at my place. I’ll shower and get cleaned up for you.” Tony puts his arm around Peter’s shoulders, wanting to cuddle and holding back.
Peter loves how Tony is so tactile, already craving his touch. And the way he says he’ll do things for Peter. He’s the sweetest little thing.
Peter kisses his cheek and puts his arm around Tony’s waist.
“That sounds wonderful, Tony. Just got to wait for our order then, go together!”
Tony preens under the attention. He ducks in and rubs his cheek against Peter’s, quick and shy, scenting him like it means nothing and ignoring the blush on his cheeks.
Tony pays and they pick up their order not long after. Tony holds the food and opens the door for Peter, not letting him lift a finger.
Tony feels giddy enough to do it again at the car door, smiling widely at Peter, and letting him in first. Pepper doesn’t like it when Tony showers her with affection like this but Peter isn’t pushing Tony away and so Tony can’t seem to stop wanting to get closer.
Helen Cho has warned him about alpha withdrawal but that couldn’t be why he feels so at ease around Peter… could it? He isn’t an alpha…
Peter is surprised when Tony scents him. For such a nervous skittish thing, he has warmed up to Peter very, very fast. Then he holds the doors open like a sweet gentleman and Peter gives him a big smile.
“Do you want me to eat with you now? Or after my shower?” Tony chatters away to cover his insecurities, tugging Peter along now they’re in his territory.
He, kind of, doesn’t want to separate from the other omega. Would it be weird if Peter comes into the bathroom with him? But then, he’d see the arc reactor, so nevermind, forget that mood killer. Tony will stay fully clothed around the other omega at all times.
Peter reaches out and gently strokes his cheek.
“Tony, you go shower and I’ll get out plates and get us something nice to drink. It will feel really nice to get all clean, and then, you can put on nice, fresh clothes, something soft, okay?”
“Soft. Right.” He could do that. And then Peter might smile and say he’s done good. The thought makes Tony’s stomach flip and twist.
Tony rubs his cheek against surprisingly long fingers, eyes going lidded and glassy for a moment at the rush of pure endorphins. He blinks slowly; nods even slower.
“Okay, Peter. I’ll go do that. You won’t get bored? I can make it quick. I can leave the door unlocked?” Tony’s anxiety starts pulling him back down from wherever he’s floated off to.
If Peter’s gone when he gets back from his shower then he’ll be heartbroken.
Tony is so so so vulnerable that Peter is surprised there isn’t anyone in his life living with him to help him. Just Peter’s wrist near his nose has his eyes glazing over. But he’s such an anxious thing, scared of being left alone.
Peter steps close and draws Tony into a hug, guiding the omega’s nose to his neck.
“I’ll be here, Tony. It’s all okay,” he coos.
Tony nuzzles into the offered skin. He moans softly, full of need and longing, and clings onto Peter tightly. He feels so much building up under his skin from years of being pushed down too low for Obie to reach. Feelings and cravings and cracks in his armor he’s had to hide.
Tony exhales the weight of it all and nearly cries from how easily Peter holds him up.
The kid’s a miracle.
“Sorry. Sorry. I’ll go shower. You’re not a teddy bear or a therapist.” Tony backs off abruptly, his limit hit and tolerance too low for any more touchy-feely things without the ease of alcohol. He gestures to the kitchen and dining area, cheeks and neck red. “Have at it. I’ll be back soon.”
Peter watches as Tony leaves the room and heads off through some doors into the bathroom. There's a strong urge to follow, to see what the beautiful touch starved omega would do if he strode in naked and joined him in the shower.
Tony is so eager so surely he wouldn't mind...
#keyz writes#keyz rp#starker#omega tony stark#omega peter parker#intersex omega#tw: alcholism#tw: self half#tw: self destructive behavior#tony is not in a good place in this one but peter is helping
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